He tilted the Pepe on his screensaver towards me. “Have you heard of the Proud Boys?” (clip)
Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode in your podcast app every week. This week: we read an article in the American Conservative titled "My Fling With A Proud Boy," an astonishing, bewildering essay from a liberal writer about her series of dates with a mixed-race, vegan, buddhist Proud Boy. Also, a new police recruit gets flipped off and cussed at by New Hampshire residents, but not for the reason you think (being a cop)
Moving on to the first topic we have tonight is just a stunning, I don't know, report?
Article?
Expose?
Memoir?
Memoir from the American conservative called My Fling with a Proud Boy.
Some people might have seen this going around on Twitter.
The description for this article is, a young liberal reflects on what a far-right romance taught her about men, women, love, and life.
This young liberal in question is named Gwen Kanzen.
Is that a pen name?
I don't think so because she has credits at the bottom of this article.
She seems to be like a professional writer of some kind.
Oh, I mean, she does have writings published.
I don't know about... I guess professional writer, that's all you need is like to be published, right?
So never mind.
So yeah, professional writer.
You didn't say like good writer or anything yet.
Right.
We met in a bar, Gwen Kansan writes.
Elias is a trim, intelligent man about my dad's size.
You know how big my dad is, right?
You guys know my dad?
He's about that size.
I swear to God I didn't scan that line when I copied and pasted it.
I love that line.
This is something that everyone knows about how big her dad is, which is probably how big she just thinks dads are.
That's just how big all dads are.
Let's just say when my dad burst through the stucco wall of our home, leaving both me and my mother behind, Elias can fit perfectly through that cartoon outline, coming back into my life.
I do love, I am like, that's the one brainwashing thing I am doing to my kid though, is I do tell her all the time that like, no, I am the biggest person and nobody is stronger than your dad.
Your dad is the strongest person in the world.
Nobody can lift you above their head like this.
Most of us don't ever let anyone try.
But, like, no one can do this.
I am super strong.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, you gotta set the bar high as a dad.
Only because she's gonna be able to fuck me up in, like, three years.
I'm doing steroids to make sure my future daughter has, like, a good... I don't know, a good barometer of what a mate should look like, you know?
Yeah, yeah, good call.
Elias is a trim, intelligent man about my dad's size.
That's so specific.
Why?
It's weird.
It's like you like my... What size?
Is that an extra large shirt?
That's what my dad wears.
She's like checking what notch his belt is at.
Oh shit, that's the same spot my dad belted his shorts at.
Are these a 34x30?
Shorts at are these a 34 30?
That's my dad's size I feel like that's like she's trying hard.
She's yeah, but Because throughout this, we're not going to read some parts of this.
I mean, so much of it is good.
There's so much to read that is good.
But the parts I left out of it are the parts where she explains her bipolar diagnosis and borderline personality diagnosis.
Yeah, um, she seems to be, like, leaning hard into her own, uh, messy life, is a nice way to put it.
Like, I don't have the stuff in her history about her family coming from, like, a long line of bad men, or maybe I do have that, but it's like she's posing herself as, like, a You know like a damaged woman like exploring masculinity as it relates to like her upbringing and her like I don't know like genetic memory and this sort of thing and
She's, which is like fine of course, but it's just this line is like hitting it so hard.
I didn't even realize it.
The second sentence, oh he was my dad's size.
At first I think it's like bad writing because it's under the assumption that it's, that we know how big her dad is, but it's actually amazing writing because it's telling us so much about her.
That's what it is.
She's trying to tell us that she's got daddy issues.
I have a void in my life.
It's about the size of Elias.
Which almost makes it go back to like bad writing again like you're gonna explain the issues later But anyway, he seemed quiet except for his clothes He wore a jaunty plaid hat and his wool coat reminded me of a Confederate soldiers There were anti PC pens on it I love that.
That's a weird, that's, first of all, a confederate soldier's like wool jacket and a plaid hat, those aren't like loud items.
The plaid hat is, I mean plaid is by nature a loud print.
Oh that, that's true, that's true.
But yeah, also, how is he wearing a plaid hat and you're still thinking of a confederate soldier?
Like you're kind of, you're kind of wanting this at some point.
Yeah.
Um, maybe, maybe he dressed loud because like the pins were, he was wearing anti PC pins.
Uh, they would actually like, if you pushed the button, it would like make a fart noise on them.
So it was like literally loud.
It had like a butt with wind coming out of it and it said, you know, push me.
It said push to trigger the libs and it makes a fart noise.
I've met a lot of women, he said.
I've noticed that the girls- Dozens.
Listen, I gotta be honest.
I gotta be upfront with you.
I've met a lot of women.
I've met a bunch of women.
You go back to his apartment and there's just like notches all over his bedpost.
She's like, yeah, these are all the women I've met.
I met three today.
I come back home and I carve about, you know, several notches in there every day.
