This week we cover the bizarre story of a Pinkerton security guard hired by a Denver news team shooting and killing a far-right protestor after being hit and maced. The right wing reaction is an amazing mix of antifa-related conspiracy theory and a complete disavowal of Stand Your Ground mindset. Also, a razor-blade-lined Trump sign slices the hand of a municipal worker tasked with moving it, and Trump supporters howl with laughter where everyone can see them Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a private podcast feed with weekly bonus episodes and audio versions of our live streams. Music: Metz - A Boat To Drown In
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people go to school in the desert.
Follow their environment, Houston.
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I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Keith Oberman is responsible for this.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It's your episode.
That's what this is.
It's an episode of a podcast that you love to listen to.
Back again.
Remember, Tony, how we do this podcast every week for the listeners?
Yeah, we do it every week for the listeners.
Even when they don't get to hear it, we still do it for the listeners.
That's a very good point.
We still do the work, folks.
Just because you didn't end up with a product doesn't mean we don't deserve credit and compensation for that labor in the form of social credit or whatever.
I mean, it's very much like a dog ate my homework situation, but we really did do the homework.
Yeah, and the dog in this case was a little geezer who tippy-tapped across the keyboard and set it on fire.
And we didn't have an episode for you last week, but hey, guess what?
We got one for you this week, and yep, that's right, you're hearing it right now.
You're up on it.
Now you're on the trolley.
It's happening.
So for October, I was thinking of doing a series of spooky, scary topics related to the right wing and Halloween or Harvest.
What's it called?
Harvest Day?
What do they call it?
Sure.
What's the good Halloween?
Like, is that like a Christian one?
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
It's called Harvest.
Harvest... Harvest something.
Festival.
Yeah.
Well, we don't quite have something Halloween related today, but I believe it is spooky enough, as this show kind of is all the time.
We're talking about
We're talking about a private mercenary group killing a protester and at least 50% of this country calling that hired mercenary who works for a private security firm called Pinkerton, most famous for killing union leaders and strikers in the early 20th century, Antifa.
Incredible.
Pretty spooky stuff.
Yeah.
It's real creepy.
Uh, we're of course referring to the shooting that happened, uh, in Denver yesterday, our time, Saturday.
Um, this was something that I just, I was kind of like offline yesterday and I woke up to see just incredible photography on my timeline.
Um, it was one of the rare, incidents where instead of like everything being on camera because everybody's recording everything all the time you actually got like high quality high definition professional photographs of like the gun being fired Into the man that was killed.
This was a far-right patriot pro-cop protester who, there was a, they'd set up like a pro-cop, you know, right-wing rally in Denver and a communist and Black Lives Matter organization had set up sort of a counter-protest.
and there was like a scuffle that kind of happened not even a scuffle just uh the guy who was who was eventually killed by the Pinkerton security guard who was hired by uh channel 9 news in Denver as their personal security um the guy who was eventually killed Was kind of walking around with a can of mace and threatening people with it.
There is video of the shooting, but the shooting is off screen.
So you don't- Yeah, it's just off, yeah.
You see him fall back into frame once he's been shot.
It's just like...
Insane footage.
You see him arguing with, I think it's a black dude who has like a Black Guns Matter shirt on, who's like yelling at the guy with the can of mace saying like, fuck you, do something, shoot me, or whatever, and another guy is getting in between them.
The guy with the mace walks off and you hear him spray and then you hear a shot fire and then you see him fall back into uh into frame and then the video ends right there um the shot the photo that they're using for like the image preview the thumbnail on these articles about the event is like a photo of somebody dying basically it's like
It's really crazy.
It's nuts that it's everywhere.
It's like a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph.
The security guard is firing the gun.
You can see...
It re-racking you can see the rack coming back and you can see the shell Flying in the air Out of out of his gun and you can see on the other side of the shot is the dude spraying the mace Somebody has like zoomed in on the guy's sunglasses the the victim's sunglasses and Supposedly you can see the bullet No way.
I couldn't find a high quality enough version of it.
Yeah, because they are like mirrored glasses.
Yeah.
Yeah, that orange mist, and you can kind of see the mist being pushed back a little bit.
It's nuts.
The sequence of photos is incredible.
Um, and this was a far-right protester, you know, a cop supporter who was killed.
Um, and the argument obviously that's being, you know, waged online right now is whether or not this was self-defense by the security guy.
Uh, he is in custody, or he was in custody at one point.
Uh, he hadn't been officially charged with anything, but he was like being questioned.
The argument is whether or not this was like self-defense the guy was you know going around looking seemingly looking for trouble holding mace in his hand and he had also punched the security guard Before the security guard pulled his gun on him.
So there's photos of that as well.
There's like all the like it's like a slideshow basically of exactly what happened.
He gets into the argument with the kid, walks off to the right, right at the security guard.
The security guard's got his arm out in front of him.
And I believe the news team is like right behind the security guard.
I believe like the the newsman guy is right behind the security guard.
Security guard has his hand out and the protest the the far right dude who's in the fucking uh arctic camo bucket hat is uh is hitting him in the face and knocking his glasses and hat off.
And then in the next shot, the guy's drawing his gun and the guy's raising his mace.
And then the next shot is him, them both firing basically.
It's crazy.
Uh, I don't, I don't know what use there is to argue whether or not this is self-defense.
Um, I don't have a real stake in this particular fight.
It's Pinkertons versus Patriots.
Whoever wins, we lose.
It's not something that I really am investing emotional energy in.
I think the Pinkertons and organizations like them represent a far greater threat to the left than, like, You know, retired far-right protesters who go out and like, you know, wave a flag on the Capitol steps or whatever.
Yeah.
I believe that like, you know, we will all eventually be rounded up and gunned down by Pinkertons or their brethren in like 50 years when the war for resources and land has really kicked off.
I just, all I would say is just what every one of these people on the right says when something like this happens, which is, uh, uh, don't bring mace to a gunfight, uh, fuck around and find out, uh, looks like he found out, uh, run up and get done up, uh, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Uh, should've stayed in mom's basement.
Like, am I missing any of these?
These are all direct lines from the Kyle Rittenhouse episode.
These are all exactly that.
Yeah, um...
It's stunning to see the reversal on this particular, the talking points for the right wing.
They all believe it's murder.
They all believe that shooting mace at an armed person does not constitute assault.
Uh, they believe that he had a reasonable, uh, what do you call it?
He was obligated to retreat.
The security guard was supposed to retreat.
He was not supposed to stand his ground.
We never stand our ground, folks.
That is bad.
That's what murderers do.
Um, and there's just so many aspects to this that are just outstanding.
Like, just incredible.
It's that further proof that this is not a thing about gun ethics or anything like that.
It is just racism.
That's that further proof.
Because it's the same thing.
It's an even more understanding scenario than anything we see the police do.
And they're still like, nope.
This is unwarranted.
This is too much.
He didn't have to do that.
And it's like, okay.
You really do see that there is too much.
You do see that too much is an option.
You do see that excessive force is an option.
You see that that is something that can be done.
Just, you know, only when it's like a white guy being murdered.
Yeah, I mean, obviously racism plays a huge factor in this.
I mean, just the existence of the police force is obviously extremely racist.
You have to be pretty racist yourself to support the police as like they currently are, you know, as they currently stand.
But Kyle didn't, Kyle Rittenhouse didn't kill any black people.
Like, he killed left-wing protesters.
And like, they thought that that was cool because it was the other side.
and it's like yes there's a lot of uh racism involved but there's also it's also just like real politic it's just like they killed the bad guys they're good what they did was legal because they killed the people that are bad uh this guy what he did was illegal because he killed a guy that was good Um, it, it's, there's no actual, like, you know, overarching principle or, or anything like that.
Um, I have here, this is, I mean, like, on Epoch Times, uh, which I'm subscribed to, I wasn't even gonna, I didn't even go to them, look at them, what they had written and everything, I just gotta, uh...
A notification in my uh email that you know about this story and so I was like all right I'll look at it and yeah the top comment was like he's murder oh this is obviously murder uh it's it's an open and shut case you know just no emotion involved just very you know I'm just looking at the facts uh And one of the replies I think sums it up really well, justus4all says, in a nutshell, it's murder.
This security guard is going to have a hard time explaining why he felt it necessary to use deadly force in a crowd after being pepper sprayed in the face.
It takes a few seconds for pepper spray to start to work under ideal conditions and there were others there on his side that could have easily jumped to his defense if the victim decided to try and take his weapon that was most likely concealed until the point he drew it.
Well he knew he had to act fast because the pepper spray was going to start working at any second and then who knows who he would have shot.
I mean yeah like that's that imagine telling any of these no you have to wait for the other person's weapon to take effect before you can defend yours like just just imagine rules you have to wait for the knife to actually penetrate you before you were allowed to to assault them back yeah it's only fair and I mean why why did Kyle shoot he shot because he had a paper bag thrown at him Mm-hmm.
Why did he shoot?
He shot because somebody was trying to stop him after he killed somebody with a skateboard.
Mm-hmm.
How do you argue that a skateboard is more incapacitating than pepper spray, which is an actual weapon designed to incapacitate people?
Yeah, that's the whole purpose of it.
So there was, I mean, This is kind of almost a tangent at this point, just because it's such a bizarre aspect of this.
But I found what I believe is the victim's mother's Facebook profile and post into a Northeast Arkansas Tea Party group.
This is Carol Kettner, who is allegedly the mother of Lee Kettner, Keltner, the victim.
She says, my name is Carol Keltner.
My son Lee was at the Patriot Rally today in Denver.
After the rally, a person on the BLM and Antifa side went up to him, said a few nasty words, then shot him in the head.
He was murdered because he backed the police.
His 24-year-old son was with him.
I moved to Arkansas because Colorado got too expensive and liberal.
The left has gotten out of hand.
Imagine talking about like your son dying and being like, The left has gone too far.
Imagine your son dying and that day going to the Northeast Arkansas Tea Party group to talk about it.
And not even grieve, not even be like, man I'm really fucking sad right now.
Just to be like, these BLM Antifas are getting out of hand.
Um, and I don't bring this up to like make fun of her per se.
This is obviously like a horrific thing to have to go through as a parent.
Um, it's just completely bizarre.
It's a completely bizarre thing that exists.
And it's, it's his own mother, the mother of the victim who was killed by a private, like, you know, military contractor, essentially.
Um, Saying my son was shot in the head by Antifa.
This is like the pinnacle of the chain email or the or the viral post about Antifa coming to your you know your suburban neighborhood or whatever.
This is like your son was actually killed and you were like Antifa did it.
Yeah do you think that that's something that she's like came up with right away that the police called her or whatever, whoever calls her, and were like, hey, your son was shot in the head today at a protest, do you think she was immediately like, yep, Antifa did it?
Or do you think people were telling her, yeah, you know who did that?
You know Antifa did that?
So, I mean, good question.
Oh, her son was with him.
Her grandson was there, so maybe he said something like that.
Yeah, maybe.
I feel like she would have mentioned that the son was the one who told her this.
I think it's just in right-wing circles, the story immediately was that the shooter was Antifa.
The shooter was Antifa.
The shooter was a leftist.
The Denver Police Department had to tweet an update.
It says update further investigation is determined.
The suspect is a private security guard with no affiliation with Antifa Additional information will be released as it becomes available So it's like oh outstanding I why the fuck would you reference Antifa like why would you even put Antifa in this tweet and
And it's like, oh, because people like Dinesh D'Souza tweeted out a photo of the victim's bloody head on the concrete with the caption, tell us Joe Biden, this man who was shot and killed by an Antifa militant in Denver, was he murdered by an idea?
Jesus.
Yeah, exactly.
Someone like Dinesh D'Souza verified Dinesh D'Souza Yeah, it's almost more powerful than any news report.
The police have to follow it up, which is insane.
It has 46,000 likes.
It's got 26,000 retweets.
The police update only has 9,000 likes.
It's got 26,000 retweets.
The police update only has 9,000 likes.
8,000 retweets. - Gotta work on your game, boys.
Well, he did do hashtag Antifa, which helps.
They should have said he's not part of hashtag Antifa.
Um, so just amazing.
Yeah, the historian who's like famous for being wrong about everything, uh, is, is just tweeting out like actual lies, just like actual lies.
And like you said, he's verified.
Not only did he tweet out, tweet that out, um, about 24 hours ago.
He retweeted himself.
He retweeted that tweet six hours ago.
So even after the update, even after the information was like readily available to everybody that he was actually a private security guard, he still retweeted that the guy was Antifa.
He doubled down, yeah.
Yeah, so just cool.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you, Dinesh.
Very cool.
Appreciate that, bro.
And it's funny, with this Denver Police Department tweet, the responses to this thing were amazing because it was just like people genuinely saying that the cops were lying for Antifa.
Which is incredible.
How do you think you know what Antifa's doing?
You hate Antifa because they hate the police, but you're like, no, they might be in cahoots this time.
Well, everything's getting more leftist, right?
I mean, Hillary freakin' Clinton was the nominee in 2016.
That is true.
And we know that the Twitter CEO, that billionaire, he's a leftist, communist, Antifa guy.
Joe Biden's a socialist, right?
We know Joe Biden is basically a Che Guevara socialist.
Yeah, I'm writing in Che Biden.
Of course the police are probably Antifa.
They're probably working with them, you know?
This response from a guy named John Paul James was great.
He said, the two, so meaning a private security guard, you know, for an agency that's historically responsible for killing leftists, killing striking workers, and Antifa, the two are not mutually exclusive.
Just because he doesn't draw a W2 from Antifa doesn't mean he's not affiliated with them.
Backing the blue gets harder every day.
Oh my, it's so hard.
It is so fucking tough.
Oh my god, the fear these people live with is so audacious and it makes me so furious.
I was going to back the blue, but then I saw they didn't arrest all the people I don't like on Twitter.
And it's like, what's the point?
Yeah, why are we even doing this?
Please arrest them all.
What am I paying you for?
I swear like this is kind of unrelated but like with the whole Q shit and like you know how it's it's pretty much wrapped up in in right-wing ideology like both of them are so intertwined with each other you like you have to have this sort of conspiracy theory to make sense of the world uh whether you're like a crazy Q person or just a normal like George Soros controls uh Antifa person um
It's very like just take take a dummy put a bag over its head and throw it off the roof of a building and like tell people it was Antifa.
Yeah.
Like that's all Trump would have to do to get reelected in a landslide.
Yeah.
They can make it so he's the one doing it.
He's the one tossing the dummy.
Just like.
like reach into a uh what do you call it like a like a furnace this like a cremate a crematorium furnace reach into a furnace and like pull out the metal starbucks name tag And say that this was the worker that said you couldn't write Trump on your drink.
This was it.
This was the server who wouldn't scream, Keep America Great, CAG, WAGA, WAGA, WAGA, at all the Starbucks customers.
They can't tell you no anymore.
What they're going to do is they're just going to replay the video of Osama Bin Laden being taken out and they're going to be like, here's a live video of us getting all the pedophiles.
Yeah, exactly.
We found the pedophile there.
We did it, guys.
Otherwise, I don't think I can back the blue anymore.
No.
So they're calling this guy Antifa even after the information came out that he was a private security guard hired by the news station Channel 9 News in Denver.
And they've come up with a lot of evidence that's kind of frankly like hard to deny.
It's hard to discredit some of this stuff.
A big one that you'll probably see all over the comment sections or right-wing spaces if you're in any of those areas of the internet is the cold hard fact that the shooter had a Space Invaders tattoo on his forearm.
And we all know that the Rosa Antifa made stickers that say Space Invaders Against Racism.
With the same exact character on the sticker.
Whoa.
You call that, you think that's just a coincidence?
There's no way that's just a coincidence.
Like this, this character is so unique.
I've never seen it before.
Um, I don't know what the space part's about.
That's really weird.
Yeah, of course this guy has to be part of the Antifa.
You know what sucks?
It's so obvious.
It's not even in a hidden place.
The tattoo's right there on his wrist.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Well, it's so when he puts his arms up because it's on the inside of his wrist.
It's so when he puts his hands up, the police know that he's one of them.
Oh, that's one of the Antifa.
That's smart.
Wow.
It's like that card you give out if you're if you're a family member of a cop and you like get pulled over for drunk driving or whatever, and you just give them the card and they're like, OK, yeah, this is better.
You know, it's it's multiple uses.
Damn, that's awesome.
You think your UPS uniform is powerful?
Imagine having this tattoo.
We knew the guy was Antifa because he was wearing a Waluigi shirt, whom we all know is the poster child for bisexual communism.
And so yeah, I've seen that.
I saw this tweet and then I've seen that comment over and over that he had an Antifa tattoo.
It's just like, out of context, you would have no idea what an Antifa tattoo would be.
No.
I couldn't tell you what an Antifa tattoo would be.
I have no idea.
I mean, it would be like the anti-fascist iconography, but it's like they don't even know that much about it, you know?
Yeah.
They just say, oh, he had the Antifa tattoo.
It's the little video game.
You know, it's like Donkey Kong or something on it.
And somebody replied to this.
Buckeye fan replied to this with nothing but dumb social justice warriors.
Throw the book at this asshole.
It's all the same.
SJWs are also now Antifa.
And are also now killers with highly trained marksmen.
Yeah, all like the blue haired screamers are also now like gunning down people.
Well, it's like... Okay, so say what you will about the Pinkertons.
This guy, like, got a headshot off in, like, half a second.
Like, didn't shoot anybody else.
Fired one round.
It's one shot.
No panic spray, nothing like that.
Just, like, one clean shot.
And this guy is, like, another latte-sipping social worker.
- He's sipping social worker, SJW.
It's like, no, I think he kind of qualifies as like an actual warrior, as cringe as that sounds.
I think like if you're gonna use the term warrior, I mean a guy killing people, I think, qualifies.
Yeah.
I mean, definitely not social justice, but definitely lawyer.
Um... So... Oh yeah, somebody said that Keith Olbermann was responsible for the murder.
That's why!
I love that.
I don't know why.
Well, you know, we were talking about the whole thing with, you know, uh, about how, like, it's the news' fault and all that stuff.
I'm like, yeah, it has to be Keith Urban.
I mean, he's really controlling the strings.
He's pulling the strings.
Yeah, I mean, we'll get into the comment section on the Nine News, KUSA.
Their comment section was insane.
You know, the actual news agency that hired this security guard.
I don't know why Keith Olbermann specifically got singled out for this.
Like, isn't he just on the internet now?
Like, I don't... Does he have a network?
Is he on like HLN or something?
I don't know anything about Keith Olbermann anymore.
He used to be on MSNBC.
He used to be like a sports guy too, I think.
But he was on, I think, MSNBC and then got fired for one reason or another.
He was a big he was a big like voice on the you know the Democrat the Establishment Dem.
He's like Chris Matthews kind of before Chris Matthews Maybe at the same time, but I don't know where he's at now.
Yes.
I'm saying I don't know where he's at now I think I think probably like that one guy who screams into his phone and now works at like OANN Garth whatever his name is He probably said like, oh, Keith Overman said he was Antifa on an episode of whatever internet show he does.
Like, sent everybody here.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I don't know.
It's just a good tweet.
I think Keith Overman's probably responsible for a lot of stuff.
I think he's probably got his fingers in a lot of pies.
He's got a lot of plates spinning.
He's a puppet master.
That's kind of probably who I'm going to blame everything on now.
Not a bad idea.
Going forward, just like in my own life, you know?
Like when I couldn't find the keys for the route that I was doing.
I personally think Keith Olbermann is responsible for this.
That son of a bitch, Keith Olbermann.
So I was looking, like, another thing that they're sharing to prove that this guy was Antifa, the shooter, Matthew Doloff.
Is there sharing screenshots from what is allegedly his Facebook page?
Um, I don't know if this is actually him.
That is the actual name of the shooter.
Uh, and it's really something else.
Like, they are anti-Trump posts.
They are, like, Occupy Wall Street posts.
And this one in particular is really interesting.
On January 4th, 2016, he posted, uh, who, you know, allegedly, If Black Lives Matter did what the terrorists are doing in Oregon, parentheses, take over of a federal building and let's say demand police to stop killing them, they would kill them.
This is not speculation.
Remember MOVE?
You know, in reference to the MOVE bombing.
The police dropped a bomb on them, burned down houses.
What the heck is going on America?
It's hard to take the media on this one too, making it sound like it's a normal thing to do after a peaceful march is taking over a federal building.
Like, hello early 1900s that was made into a wildlife refuge because all the birds that lived there were being killed to make ladies hats.
I blame Fox News big time on this one for promoting Bundy in Texas.
Now he thinks he can go to... This isn't even the one I wanted to read.
There's another one where he's like... He's talking about... Capitalism, specifically.
Okay, yeah, this one's so interesting.
This one's super weird.
I love it.
Yeah, well say what you love about it, I guess, while I'm looking for this thing.
I just love the part about the wild... I don't know, what happened in the early 1900s when they made it into a wildlife refuge?
Like, a federal building they turned into a wildlife refuge?
Because all the birds that live there are being killed to make ladies hats?
I don't know, weirder things have happened, you know?
Yeah, I love it.
There's like some realness in here, but I don't know, he seems like the kind of person from this, the kind of person who might be I was thinking it might be a libertarian-ish type person who understands the police are bad.
And then it goes on to talk about how bad Bundy is, which is true because it did motivate a lot of people to arm themselves and go out.
I mean, he says this same account allegedly, these are all screenshots, so I have no way of verifying this stuff.
The same account allegedly says, like, fuck the police.
Yeah.
The, uh... I can probably find it really quickly.
Um...
The one about capitalism is really good because it's like talking about how police are just there in order to keep the surplus labor population in check to prevent them from rioting and stuff like that.
Let me see where it is.
I'm gonna keep babbling so I don't have to do any editing.
It is.
The whole thing that's interesting to me, though, is that somebody like this ends up working for a private security company.
That's the thing.
That's so ruthless.
You're not standing for anything.
You're just being paid to be a henchman.
I guess in this case, he probably feels good about it.
Defending the news, I guess?
It's an interesting point of view to have from someone who does that.
This person seems genuinely interesting, you know what I mean?
I mean, yeah, there's a lot to be said about, like, oh, you know, no ethical consumption under capitalism, you know, everybody's got to work to eat.
I don't believe that you can use that excuse for becoming, like, private security for corporate firms, including the news.
I don't think you can just hand wave your way, like, you could probably do something else.
And also, you know, like, this is not going to be his, this is not his only job.
This is the one time he was defending the news people.
If you're working for that security firm, you're probably doing more than that.
Yeah, I can't find that comment.
Anyway, um... Yeah, so this guy might have been a leftist at one point, might still be a leftist, but it's very funny that, or, you know, call himself on the left or whatever, but it's very funny that, like,
All the right-wing, all these right-wing people who, like, finally got on the other side of this sort of confrontation, this, like, stand your ground, this uneven, this mismatch between protester and armed guard, like, it's very weird how they're
Giving out all this evidence this supposed evidence that he's a leftist or that he's Antifa or that he's whatever That he's a Democrat that he's a registered Democrat like that's what these people are tweeting out as if that matters as If that matters at all.
Yeah, totally as if it's not just like Right-wing governments and state houses and just, you know, American culture in general have, like, steadily set the stage for this sort of thing to happen all the time and be, you know, perfectly acceptable within the realm of law.
Like, that's, that's what actually matters.
Like, it's, it's not like, oh, he, you know, like I said earlier, it's not, oh, he's the bad guy.
You have to, like, you know, convict him because he was the bad guy shooting one of the good guys.
And it's like, No, none of that shit matters.
What matters is he had the gun and the other guy didn't.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter what registration it was.
I mean, it certainly, to them, doesn't matter that he was a part of a private security team, which actually does matter.
Yeah, usually, unfortunately, it does matter.
That's like what matters here.
And it's just, it's funny because, yeah, this guy is going to be the tip of the spear for Capitol in the coming years, like I said.
And they're just like, but he's a registered Democrat.
Not realizing that that just means that Democrats are also right-wing.
I wish they would see that.
You know, instead of thinking that, like, oh, this shooter was a socialist because he was a Democrat.
I feel like if we can get them to understand that the Democrats are also right-wing, maybe we can get someone to come on over and vote for a guy Biden and get that fascist out of the office.
Yeah, that's the plan.
It's the plan, man.
So they went to, like, all these people were, like, swarming the Nine News Facebook page.
They really don't like one of the newscasters from this NBC affiliate on Nine News.
His name is, like, Kyle Kelly or something like that.
They, like, are basically conflating him and the shooter.
They are just basically all over this comment section saying Kyle Kelly was the one who killed him and like other people in the comment section are confused as to who the actual shooter is because they've heard something they've read and seen so many memes and comments where it's like well first it said it was a first it said he was a journalist who shot him then it said he was a newscaster that shot him and oh now he's a security guard which is it canine news It's like, when did anything like that say that?
You just read comments and memes.
Yeah, you confused yourself, you hurt yourself in your confusion.
But I mean, how do you expect the news to cover themselves fairly?
They really don't like that guy.
They are alleging that, like, that the guy with the Black Guns Matter shirt and the security guard and the newscaster were all working in tandem to, like, distract the victim so that the security guard could kill him or something like that.
That is, like, my favorite thing in here is words, using words like assassin, like, throughout the whole, it's just like, no, this was not that calculated.
Calm down.
Yeah, you're talking about the newscaster.
You're talking about the newscaster, and I have a customer who comes into work all the time, and he works for NBC, and he has a shirt that says NBC on it, and has a truck that says NBC on it, and I asked him, I was like, hey, do you get harassed now?
And he goes, dude, all the time.
People throw things at him on the freeway.
People are always yelling at him, they're flipping him off, and he's like, dude, the only reason why I know that they're all Trump voters is because they'll throw something and then yell Trump 2020.
And they're like, call me fake.
He's like, he's just like a super local man on the streets kind of guy.
And, um, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's nuts.
And this guy's nobody.
So I can imagine.
I mean, he's not nobody.
I'm sure he's like on the TV, whatever.
I couldn't imagine being this news, this reporter who was on the news all the time.
Yeah.
It's, it's like a dangerous time to be working for NBC.
Well, that's why this is like such a, such an interesting story.
And it's, I'm, you know, I'm glad it wasn't a leftist who was killed because I would have a harder time maybe like analyzing this from a from like a dispassionate perspective, you know?
If this was another murder of a leftist protester it would be a lot harder to I think discuss this as plainly as we are and we probably wouldn't even cover it because that stuff gets pretty redundant and the awful things that people say really don't add anything to the content.
But this is so interesting because it intersects with the news, it intersects with private capital, redundant, it intersects with capital and like the forces that it uses to protect itself, and it intersects with like, you know, right-wing legislative efforts to like make all this stuff possible, make these kinds of, to facilitate these kinds of shootings and these kind of violent actions.
And going off what you're saying about, you know, the guy you know who gets harassed by Trump supporters all the time.
That's one of the another one of the fascinating aspects of this is people are like, why?
Why would the news have to hire security when we know that it's like the left who is assaulting, who is doing all the assaults?
And also the news is on the left.
So why would they need to protect themselves?
Yeah, because we all know it's the left that like attacks journalists or it's it's like they won't the the news people won't admit.
That the leftists are the ones who are violent and yet they still have to hire security in order to protect themselves, quote, from the leftists.
Yeah and it's like I was talking about this last night and it's like the only time you really see a journalist like getting hassled by the left is when like it's like black block or people doing like illegal actions and there's like somebody who's taking pictures of other everybody's face and like you know they they try to snatch the camera from them or whatever um
What you see from the right is like you see them actually like surround reporters and chase them out and you see the cops arrest them.
You see them get knocked down, assaulted, etc.
And you see the President of the United States saying that the news is the enemy of the people.
And, like, literally pointing them out in cra- in, like, at his rallies.
Like, these are the people who are, you know, uh, preventing you from achieving greatness.
These are the people who are- who are denying you your- your, uh, every wish.
Everything you ever wanted in life, uh, could have been attainable if not for, uh, Keith Olbermann, who's sitting right over there.
And it's- so it's just funny that, like, they're...
Talking so much shit on this guy and then at the same time denying that his, like, he was ever in danger from this far-right protester.
Denying that a security guard would ever have to, like, stand between him and a far-right protester.
Yeah, that security guard was probably, like, given a briefing that showed all the threats they get every single day.
So right here in the midst of everything that I'm saying, we have a comment from, I think, the Denver Post that goes, it's from Brain of the South, who says, If media simply reported the facts rather than constantly being engaged in an effort to control thought, and that based on their own personal ideologies, there would be no need for armed security.
But they know they're complicit in the unrest and mass division.
Why wouldn't they feel targeted?
Jesus.
So like, very much talking out of both sides of your mouth here, that like, they were assassinating this protester, they were going after him and staging this and killing him, but also they should be afraid.
Yeah.
Well, now, I mean, now they for sure should be afraid.
Yeah, that guy's not gonna have a hard time doing any more, like, Man on the Street segments.
They all live, like, in fear.
They all live in this weird fear where they all really feel like the huge victims here, you know?
Like, I had a guy who, in a comment section, talked about, like, harming me personally.
Telling me that he didn't feel safe around talking to me.
Yeah.
And I was like, okay, but I mean, you're literally the one threatening me, so I don't know.
Pre-emptive strike, baby.
It's as American as apple pie.
Yeah.
And they're just acting terrified.
It was so stupid.
Yeah.
Yeah, they all are scared and also, like you said, they're all scared but also ready to go.
Well, yeah, and it's just, I don't know, like they've been, they've been fucking, their brains have been like, pureed by the internet, by their Facebook groups, and by these like, you know, quote, independent media, you know, OAN, or The Blaze, or, you know, these far-right news, like Dinesh D'Souza, who just says the wildest shit with a check next to his name on Twitter.
And they're like, yeah, the news is my mortal enemy.
Like, just these insane people.
And then when, like, you know, when a newscaster gets assaulted or whatever, half of them are like good, the other half is like fake news.
Yeah, it's either good or it's not real.
Yeah, totally.
Either way, they can't see what they're doing.
They can't admit their fault in any of this stuff.
Yeah, Garrett Masaryk commented on the Nine News post about this.
So, dot, dot, dot, dot, let me get this straight, tags Nine News, parentheses, KUSA, which you don't have to do if you're already replying to them.
They get the notification.
Yeah, I see it.
Dot, dot, dot, dot.
You hired armed security, whom you authorized to dress in, quote, plain cloths, end quote, attire, without any outward identification, that he was acting in a, quote, official capacity, knowing full well that it was highly likely he would need to challenge persons on both sides of opposing protest, dot, dot, dot.
One of those dots was a burp.
I hope that's okay with everybody.
It was a bigger dot than usual.
And would be taken as a member of the other group no matter who he challenged because he looks like a quote protester dot dot dot.
And you thought this was a quote good idea three question marks.
Oh how I wish I could be on the jury for the lawsuit that's coming.
Well, I don't know, maybe if you didn't post this you could have been.
Probably, might have happened, yeah.
Also, like, I don't know, a lawsuit implies someone's gonna get sued and there's no really juries for that one.
It's like criminal justice.
Yeah, well, I mean, he could be sued if, you know, in civil court you can be sued for damages even on a, you know, a criminal act or even if he's not convicted.
But I just, yeah, all security guards shouldn't be able to dress in plain cloths because it confuses people, but also, you know, the people who killed Breanna Taylor, perfectly fine to not announce themselves, not say who they were, and not be, you know, dressed in police uniforms.
Yeah, as long as you're wearing a uniform or identifying yourself, you can do whatever you want.
Had he just had one of those big yellow block or big white block security shirts, This would have all been okay.
And it's funny, too, because, like, the clothing he's wearing, a lot of people are, like, making fun of the way he's dressed or whatever.
He's wearing, like, khakis and, like, a work shirt or something.
They're like, oh, wow, where'd you get this guy, you know, from behind the Goodwill or something like that?
And it's like, dude, these are, like, 511, quote, casual tactical gear.
Yeah.
Like, this is what every cosplaying operator dresses like when they're not wearing plate guards.
Exactly, this isn't that everyday stuff.
And like, those those pants aren't cheap.
No, and yeah, it's just, I don't know, it's very, it's very funny that this is like one of them.
He's one of your guys, people.
And it's, it's like, I, you know, if you could see how silly you guys look criticizing him, frankly.
TJ Austrick said, mostly peaceful news 9 hitman.
Incredible.
Do you know what this is?
Do you know what this is a reference to?
Isn't he saying like mostly peaceful like mostly peaceful protesters?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's their new joke.
That's that's their new joke is is saying like oh yeah it was a you know there's like a there's like a story about a a car that like ran over a deer or something.
Mm-hmm.
Mostly peaceful car.
I guess the car was mostly peaceful.
So gross.
It's like their one joke now.
And it's funny because it's an old joke even before this era.
It dates all the way back to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement where you can see actual political cartoons published Uh, you know, after, like, Martin Luther King protests and marches, where, like, an interview, a newscaster is, like, interviewing MLK with, like, a city burned down behind him, and he's like, oh, are you gonna have another peaceful protest tomorrow?
Yep.
There's nothing new.
Same shit.
Yeah.
There's a meme that's going- I mean, one guy was sharing it, so I saw this one guy post it a lot.
But I also think I saw it on Twitter, too.
It's amazing.
It's a photo of Lee, the victim.
Holding a baby, possibly a granddaughter, I guess, right?
His son is like 24, I guess.
This looks like a Facebook photo.
There is like the Instagram font over it that says, rest in peace, Lee.
We will get justice.
Suing Denver 9 News NBC for hiring the assassin to kill you.
Incredible.
You put a hit out on somebody, we're suing you.
Like imagine trying to explain this to somebody, like offline.
Imagine trying to be like, yeah, uh, I'm going to sue the news for, uh, hiring a hit man to kill this guy I saw on Facebook.
Yeah.
This is not even like their friend.
This is just like someone doing it.
Yeah, these are like incredibly sick people, like, and I was thinking about this too, like, you know, like sort of the martyrdom that happens around victims of shootings, and, you know, we just talked about Breonna Taylor, and it's like, I don't know Breonna Taylor, I don't know really what kind of person she was, but it's like, She was genuinely a victim.
She was genuinely a victim of, like, uh, police brutality and didn't do anything to deserve that or put herself in that situation.
And it's very weird to see, like, people like, uh, what's, uh, I can't remember, Ian Miles Chong, share this photo.
Be like, rest in peace, King Lee.
Yeah.
It's like, what?
Like this guy was walking around with bear mace and like sprayed somebody with, tried to spray somebody with it and then got shot.
Like, it's just, I don't know.
It's very clearly transparent.
Like, and it's not, I don't think it's very effective.
Um, the best meme that I've seen, like I'm not going to talk about any of the, uh, any of the, the pro shooter memes that are going around.
Um, The best one I've seen is an anti-shooter meme where it's a photo after the shooting and the security guard is looking back at the camera over his shoulder while Lee is spread out on the ground.
Somebody put the Nine News logo over the security guard holding the gun.
And then the American flag over Lee laying on the ground.
Well, that's the whole thing, Mancey.
Lee is America.
We're all Lee.
America is Lee.
And America is Lee, and I'm the guy in that Russian nightclub that the journalist is talking to.
It's like, oh, I live every day in fear that America will consume itself and take the rest of the world down with it.
And then she said, well, didn't you hear?
Nine News killed America.
Yeah Nine News did it.
And then I like do a little clap and start dancing with my hands out.
I was stoked about Nine News.
I also love that like they think that they're blaming this local NBC affiliate for just like destroying all of America.
It's so good man.
I mean hey we knew like we knew late capitalism will like I don't know it's just on a death drive we knew that it would like You know, inevitably fall.
Uh, so I mean, it makes sense that like a local news affiliate was able to just like tip it over a little bit, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the only way this could be better is like, I think I might add like a, like a single gunshot, a single bullet hole in the American flag or something.
Like the stickers one?
Like the silver sticker ones?
Little black dollars?
Yeah, but I'd like put some iodized sunglasses on the flag first.
Hey, don't do that.
Dummy.
One more thing.
Harry Pelham says in the Denver Post comment section, sad, but personally, I'm glad
That truly great quote quote MAGA quote quote American patriots like Johnny Teigen and them Sons of Silence boys were out there supporting our brave men and women in BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I think justifies, you know, his sacrifice.
Listen, Lee, I know that you might have fallen, but not one flag touched the ground that day.
I need you to know that.
Did you see that video of people pledging allegiance to the thin blue line flag?
Yes, yes.
You know what I saw yesterday for the first time?
It was like a regular colored American flag.
Well, actually not really.
The whole thing was it had the red and white stripes, right?
And then it still had a blue line, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But then to differentiate the field, the field was still black.
The field of stars was still black.
So that blue can be its own special blue, it almost felt like.
And this flag was like raised up on a flagpole above a house.
Well, see, the red stripes there represent the bloodshed by our hero officers every minute of every day.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
You know, we should probably think about doing the flag so it's just all red stripes.
Just, yeah, just one, all red, and then, like, you know, we should, if not move back to the gold standard, at least do something to, like, symbolize our desire to do that.
Maybe have, like, some sort of gold symbol up in one of the corners, you know, so it's all red.
Yeah.
A little splash of yellow gold up there somewhere.
Just a little, little pop, just a little pop of yellow gold.
Okay, so, moving on tonight, in our second, just, like, perfectly death cult topic, We have an article here from Fox 5 Atlanta.
Headline reads, razor blades hidden on Trump political sign slice election workers fingertips in Michigan.
The caption on the post reads, an election worker was injured while trying to move a political sign.
The sign had been lined with hidden razor blades at the bottom.
Shout out to Conrad John for sharing this one into the Facebook group.
Before we get into, like, the content of the article, I just want to, like... This is, like, an insane thing to kind of witness.
Like, how... It seems, I mean...
You know, we've talked a lot about how open the right wing is, like, about celebrating murder, about celebrating, like, you know, police violence, about celebrating vigilante violence.
And you see those things, and it's like... Maybe I'm giving it too much credit, but it's always like...
oh they were a criminal or oh they there's always like some kind of excuse you know there's always some like rationale behind why are they're like openly celebrating violence or whatever this is like a sign with razor like some sick like sadistic shit some truly like just i want to hurt somebody um hurting a municipal worker
Who was moving the sign like further into the person's yard because it was too close to the sidewalk.
Because there's like some city ordinance where all the signs have to be 33 feet from the center of the roadway.
So he was going to move it like 9 feet back, I believe.
This is like some urban legend type shit.
Like, this isn't supposed to really happen.
You know, this is like, you know, having the razor and the gas pump.
Like, this isn't supposed to really happen.
This is malicious and gross.
Yeah, the fucking needle on the theater seat.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, this isn't supposed to really happen and here it is.
And not only that, but like, the people celebrating this are the people who believe that urban legend and spread it out of fear.
Yes.
They are the ones warning about, you know, people giving out LSD in Halloween candy.
Like, they're the ones who share that shit like it's 100% accurate and then a person on their side does it to actually hurt people and they're like, oh tight.
Hell yeah.
Because I haven't said it yet, but what I was leading up to Was just this post from Fox 5 Atlanta.
4,000 reactions.
Laughing.
Laughing reactions.
The post from WNDU.
99 laughing reactions.
Every single local news Facebook page that posted about this
was laughing the predominant reaction was utter laughter at the headline man gets 13 stitches after slicing hand on razor blades attached to president trump's sign this isn't just like oh he got like he stepped on a nail or he like you know got a little got a little shock from like a dog collar or something like this is he fuck he almost cut his fingers off like he almost damaged tendons Yeah.
Because of how insane this person was.
And there was another sign.
They had two signs out there.
Both of them rigged with razor blades.
The picture looks so, the picture's so gnarly that I thought it was like a, remember I didn't think it was real.
I thought it was like a reenactment picture, I thought it was like a fake picture.
But it's so gnarly, like they really did line the whole bottom with razors.
I thought this was just like a mock-up of what it might have looked like, but this is the actual signs.
It's fucked.
The guy who picked it up said he thought he like got like a little shock or something like that and he looked down at his hands and he was just covered in blood and he had to drive himself to the hospital.
Did you see the other picture down here in this other screenshot?
Yeah.
Like, those razorblades are fucking rusty, dude.
They're rusty as fuck, too, yeah.
And it's just like, it's like tape.
Like, she, like, used, like, packing tape.
The owner says she doesn't know how the razorblades got there, but she did say that others, her other signs were stolen, but she doesn't know how razorblades got on these new signs.
Also, the whole thing about lawn signs, there's a long, rich history of lawn signs being kind of a fun thing.
Like, to go steal them, or to move them.
They're supposed to be fun.
Yeah, you should be able to steal, do whatever, to lawn signs.
But like this is fucked up.
Like smashing someone's mailbox or whatever that's like a little too far in my opinion like unless you know they're a bad person or whatever but just like as far as like a random act of mischief goes or whatever like Yeah, you should.
Stealing lawn signs is, like, way better than, like, smashing someone's mailbox or, like, throwing paint on, you know, their car or something like that.
I would much rather have just somebody, like, a kid or whatever take my sign out of my yard.
Yeah.
You should be able to do that, is what I'm saying.
Absolutely.
Like, is she gonna, like, set landmines in her fucking, like, bear traps for the next person who tries to teepee her house?
Like completely psyched and it's just funny because this is like um kind of again like the fantasy that we've been talking about about like antifa like invading your the suburbs they're coming for your suburbs they're they're gonna they're gonna uh steal your wife and and rape your dog and and they're they're gonna erect low-income housing you know in the next block over from you um
But I don't want to, like, go out and actually do any work to, like, find these supposed, you know, guerrilla warriors or whatever.
But they're... I'm gonna wait for them to come to my house.
And it's like, this is what she did.
She, like, allegedly...
Uh, you know, set something up for the Antifa warriors who, which in this case is just a municipal worker who was like doing her a favor by not ticketing her, not, you know, like punishing her or anything, just moving her, not even making her move the sign.
Just moving it.
I'm going to put razor blades on the inside of my mailbox because I saw Trump talking about how the post office is Antifa.
I'm going to do it just because they keep sending me bills.
That's, I mean, yeah.
I get a lot of spam mail, you know.
So yeah, I think I'll kill the post office guy.
At least mess their hand up.
Satire, of course.
We love our post office people.
I'm imagining the person who does this, like, who does this razor blade thing on their signs, like, putting razor blades on just, like, everything on their front porch.
Yeah.
Like, on, like, on, like, the underside of their lawn chairs and shit.
Or, like, like, I don't know, the potted plants they have on the front yard just ringed with razor blades in case anybody wants to steal their magnolias.
Their, like, lawn gnome was actually, like, tied to a grenade pin.
So you pull that up.
Done.
And it's just, like, your sign is, like, right on the edge of the sidewalk.
It's, like, what if a fucking kid was, like, riding his bike and, like, accidentally, like, rode through this or fell onto it?
What if kids were playing and just grabbed the sign because they're fucking kids playing?
Like, absolutely psycho shit.
What sucks is, I don't know, what is the crime here?
What would happen if this lady, you know?
Yeah, I don't know if they're going to prosecute her because she just says it wasn't her.
I don't know if you can prove that it was her.
So yeah, like, David McCall responded in one of these... So I should... I wanted to... So every single local news affiliate... Overwhelming laugh reacts.
Laugh React, number one response.
Every single, like, cable news or national news outlet was like, people horrified.
And like, oh shit, like, the right wing is insane.
They're like...
They're like actively insane and it's just it's funny to see that kind of dynamic to see to see the difference there.
It is interesting.
So yeah David McCall responds with a gif of like an anthropomorphic smiley emoji laugh like laughing so hard they're like on the ground rolling around laughing at the 13 stitches in the guy's hand.
uh somebody responds like oh the headline isn't like doing the story justice like it was actually a municipal worker who had to move the sign because it was in the right-of-way and then David McCall just says hey should have left it alone You know, you should not have done that thing.
You should not have actually done, like, what you're supposed to.
I don't know.
So fucking stupid.
Fuck you, David.
It doesn't matter.
It's what I wanted.
She wanted her sign there.
He shouldn't have touched her sign.
She wanted it there.
Well, it's like a...
If you were to have like a, you know, a Virgin Mary statue on the front of your lawn and someone wanted to move that back, it's the same thing.
You're supposed to apply reverence to this.
You don't like, you don't touch it.
You leave it alone.
Like that's, you're stepping on my beliefs now.
It's just, this is like the laziest, like, I don't know, most pathetic version of like the Killdozer thing.
Are you familiar with the Killdozer story?
I thought so, no.
Is the guy who, like, built his own tank and, like, because he was, like, getting hassled by the city for, like, regulations and shit, he was, like, a... Yeah, I mean, it rules, kind of, but he was also, like, I think a small business tyrant guy.
He was, like, a... He was, like, a Clive and Bundy kind of guy.
But the way he did it was better, I think.
Didn't he, like, run over some cool shit, though, right?
I think he, like, ran it into City Hall.
He, like, I think maybe the bank, too.
I think he might have taken out the bank at one point.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's not in fucking rules.
This is, like, the laziest version of the Killdozer thing.
I'm gonna put some tacks on my side.
I'm gonna put some knives pointing outward on my property.
And, like, I don't know.
Like, I'm not for, like, the municipal government, like, nitpicking over what's in people's yards and, like, the measurements and that kind of shit.
Like, it seems like Kind of like ripe for like a King of the Hill episode or something like that.
You know, the municipal workers saying that your grill has to be below a certain degrees when you cook or something like that.
But I think that this reaction is probably a little extreme, too extreme.
And I think like the pleasure these people are taking in the gore.
Like, is that dude's hand gonna be okay?
Like, is he gonna have use of his fingers after this?
It's gonna be fucked up.
I think the thing, too, is that even this lady, when she was, like, taping these razors on there, was she, like, realizing what she was doing?
Like, you know?
Well, we should say... Yeah, go ahead.
Because that's like, that's something I think people have taught.
I've even heard people talk about stuff like that before, you know?
Yeah.
But to bring it into reality is just a whole different level.
Well, so, you mentioned, like, you've heard people talk about that.
Like, yeah, I encountered a post in one of my right-wing Facebook groups.
I posted about it, so people might have seen it.
It was a woman who put tar, black tar, all over her Trump sign in her front yard because somebody had taken her other sign.
And she was like, yeah, this'll teach them.
I'm making my front yard look like absolute shit in order to own the libs.
And that comment section was one of the most deranged comment sections I'd seen in a while.
We didn't do an episode on it because I didn't think it was like, that big that were worth talking about it was just fun to post it uh because i i hadn't heard of anyone actually doing what the people in that comment section were saying they were gonna do which is like wrap razor wire around it uh cover literally cover it in in piss and shit so the people like when they steal my sign that's my property that i've covered in piss and shit
They're going to get poop and pee on their hands.
It's so gross.
It's going to look great.
What's the purpose of a sign now?
Like I'm saying, the purpose of the sign is to, I guess, like to advertise, right?
Well, it's a weapon now.
No, it's just a weapon in the culture war now.
It's a weapon.
It's a statement.
It's like, uh, uh, I mean, you know, I didn't have a baseball bat, but baseball bats are cooler if you like cover them with barbed wire.
Um, somebody said that their sister had put deer urine on their sign.
And it's like, how is that going to prevent anybody from stealing it?
It's just like, when they steal it, you'd be like, aha!
Now their hands are going to smell like my front yard.
It's just gonna, like, bring deers.
It's just gonna, like, attract deers.
So it was just very funny to see that comment section, and they're all one-upping each other, you know?
They're like, oh, I think you should have spikes with fecal matter rubbed up on it, you know, and dug into a pit behind the sign.
Yeah, you should definitely shit on the spikes so that you get an infection and you smell bad.
Or when somebody grabs the sign they pull a cable that triggers the hammer on a shotgun and it blows their leg off and then that way they can't move and so I can come and finish the job.
Have you thought about a giant swinging axe that will swoop down through the lawn?
Um, this, this exchange was really funny.
It's got maybe like petty for me to include it, but somebody, Alyssa Lombardo had commented, um, you know, Oh, they're, they're a thief.
Like the person got what they deserved, et cetera, et cetera.
And, Somebody replied they were like, how about you read the article?
The article has a descriptor.
Yeah, they were like, uh, can I get any more information?
It sounds like somebody was just trying to steal the sign and this that and the other and they deserve to get their fingers cut forever.
Um, and Amy replied and was like, oh, maybe you should read the article idiot.
Like it's all in there.
All the information's in there, please.
And then Alyssa Lombardo replied, yeah, I agree, but it still doesn't explain your actions, ma'am.
And what she's referring to is the actions of calling her stupid because she edited the comment that we're seeing right here to edit out the word stupid.
Like, maybe don't be stupid or something like that.
And Amy Combs replies, and you are right.
I truly do apologize.
It was uncalled for.
It's like, why are you apologizing to these sadists?
These like, utter monsters.
And you're like, you're correct.
I shouldn't have used the bad word.
The level of like, what's bad to people is so stupid.
I'm like, they're applauding someone being maimed and you're like, I'm so sorry I called you stupid.
That's not cool.
Yeah, no, exactly.
Like, you were playing by a completely different set of rules for, like, rules for dorks, frankly.
Yeah.
Talk about rules for radicals.
More like rules for nerds.
And speaking to that, this comment, yeah, Seth Harris said, maybe if people would leave well enough alone and stop getting so butthurt over others' choices and opinions, then this would just not have happened in the first place.
Dot, dot, dot.
Just saying.
Again, like, I would love to see this musical worker being like, I'm a huge Trump supporter.
That's why I was moving the sign.
I was supposed to take it and fine him, but I was moving it because like, you know, God King, but like, Jesus Christ.
Listen, I'm as stupid as every one of you.
Okay.
I'm on your side.
And I love this.
Maybe if people wouldn't get butt hurt, we wouldn't have to physically hurt them.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
I mean, hey, who's to say what's worse?
Give me something to be offended about.
Getting offended or cutting someone's hand so badly they might not be able to use it again.
Geez.
Butcher Garrique says, maybe it was one of those peaceful protesters.
Ding, ding, ding.
Ding, ding, ding.
One joke.
Ding, ding.
Taking a break from rioting and burning building.
Maybe they were hoping the homeowner would cut themselves on it?
What?
Oh, you know what?
Maybe they put the razors on there and they messed up while applying it.
They forgot they put it on there.
They're gonna move it hoping that the owner would... Yeah, this makes sense.
This checks out.
Makes total sense that a peaceful leftist protester who loved free speech Would tape razor blades onto somebody else's sign So that whoever picked it up would get severely injured But also if the Trump person is the one who did that then it's good No, this is not new.
I mean, I have a friend down the street somebody went to all their Trump signs and taped cans of soup all over the All over the signs.
Then when they went to pick it up, they got bonked in the head really fucking hard.
Yeah Did I tell you about the Trump sign down the street from me?
Did I send it to you?
No, not that I remember.
So I don't know how this works, but it's like a road sign that says, like, Roadwork Ahead, the flashing lights one.
Yeah.
That one on the trailer?
You didn't send it to me.
Oh, I didn't send it to you.
It's a video of it.
Because one of those, and it says Trump 2020, like, Law and Order.
It flashes Trump 2020 to Law and Order.
And it's one of those roadside signs.
It's on the back of a truck.
No, it's like in someone's yard pointing to the road.
Oh, okay.
It would be really funny if they had like hacked an actual city sign to say law and order.
That would be fucking great.
I think it is a city.
I think it is one of those signs.
But it's in someone's yard.
Yeah.
I'll send you.
It's weird because it's on the roadside.
It's really strange.
Um, yeah, I don't know.
I think that's cool.
I think that's a cool thing to do, to do like, uh, civil disobedience that says law and order.
Law and order, yeah.
I think that's great.
Um, and yeah, uh, speaking of civil disobedience that says law and order, Robert McDonaldo, Roberto McDonaldo, which I'm pretty sure is a fake name, uh, Says, not sure people should be trespassing on private property to take things that don't belong to them.
And Robert O. McDonaldo has a profile picture that says, blue lives matter.
I wonder if blue lives ever go on to private property to take things that don't belong to them.
I wonder if that ever happens.
I wonder if that's ever happened, ever.
Well, that's the thing about being a blue live, is that like, There is no private property on land that you patrol.
You know?
Yeah.
Like it's all their property.
Um, and I love this, like, I'll get to that in a minute, but, um, yeah, it is, it is all their property.
They earned the right, you know, by running toward the gunfire, they earned the right to like seize whatever you have on you when they pull you over for a traffic stop or whatever.
Um, Yeah, again, it's just the don't tread on me thing is literally just don't tread on me.
Yeah, myself, my personal space.
You tread on them, and it's like...
I don't know, like, if this lady had, like, a grow operation, like, an illegal grow operation, and she had booby traps around that, I'd be like, okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
That makes sense.
Like, that's actually something, like, to protect, you know?
Like, like, what is it right here?
Uh...
Yeah, Stella Shahan says, unless it was on election workers' property, they had no business touching it.
I have no sympathy for people who steal candidate signs.
Those are not cheap, and this is a free country.
So yeah again like no sympathy for somebody who was maimed for picking up a sign and then also those are not cheap which again makes me laugh really hard that like somebody gave money to the Trump campaign like a poor person is giving money to the Trump campaign that's like incredibly depressing.
These also don't look like official Trump signs.
It's something that looks kind of unofficial about it.
And they do sell those signs at any one of those roadside flag shops.
And that's so funny to me.
It's like, yeah, they probably are expensive there.
They're actually much cheaper through the actual campaign.
Yeah, so you're not even giving money to the campaign.
No, they never are.
Like, you know, 90% of the Trump stuff you see out there does not go to the Trump campaign.
That's so tight.
I back that.
Critical support for bootleg Trump merchandise.
Yeah, I love it.
It's impressive how dumb these people are all the time.
And yeah, I mean, it's like... Yeah, to protect your fucking lawn sign, like, that sucks, man.
Like, that's like, I don't know, protecting your Jimi Hendrix poster with razor blades.
Like, who gives a shit, man?
Nobody cares.
Shut the fuck up.
So incredible.
It's a piece of, like, you know, plastic, basically.
And you just, and you don't, you donate to the campaign again and get another one and you own the, the, you know, the libs that way.
Joke's on you.
Every time my sign stolen, I donate 10 more dollars to, uh, trump.biz.patriot online.
It's like, okay, all right, cool.
In my face.
That, that would, that would be like the thing you put on the sign.
Like if you steal this, I will donate more money.
Um, and I think it's, It's interesting to see also when I'm reading these like local news pieces on it where it's like I don't know I feel like a reasonable person would read this story and be like this is fucked up.
This is like huge overkill by this person and somebody got severely injured.
And then I see a related story in here from the same news outlet, like linking to a different story.
And the headline of that story is, Shocking Solution!
Massachusetts Man Uses Electric Fence to Deter Trump Sign Thieves.
And it's like how could you possibly be surprised that people are laughing about this like razor blade booby trap?
You know I'm not saying like the news dictates people's behavior that much but it's like It feels like you were kind of hoping for something like this to happen.
It feels like... Yeah.
It feels like you're, as this like news agency, you're like playing with fire here by like treating somebody electrifying their Trump sign as like, you know, one local homeowner is hoping to give quite a shock to potential thieves.
Yes.
Like, like narrating this shit like it's an America's Funniest Home Videos clip.
You may as well be like, have you heard the latest trend?
It's the Protect Your Sign Challenge.
People are going crazy on the internet.
Yeah.
And treating it like it's going to be, you know, an earnest, scared, stupid bit or something.
Um.
Speaking of which, this guy adamintowntexas tweeted, that'll teach Marvin Harry to mess with Kevin's Trump sign.
Incredible.
Remember the part in Home Alone where Kevin chopped off their fingers?
I do wish that was like a part where like fingers just fall on the floor and Kevin's like, gotcha.
Yeah, there's like blood everywhere and Marv has to drive Harry to the hospital.
Also, I love this joke is so stupid.
This joke is so damn stupid.
So this municipal worker is now two burglars and this woman is like a young child alone at home.
It said that booby traps is the only thing.
It's so dumb.
Well, it's just funny, dude.
It's just like funny stuff that happens, and you remember other funny stuff that happens, which is of course, you know, like the Home Alone movie.
That's true.
Bill, this is weird.
This is a weird exchange.
Bill Gordon said, The hatred in this country is out of control.
I once put up real estate signs for part-time work.
Someone kept stealing my signs.
I left a note and explained that if the sign was missing I would not get paid.
The sign was missing the next day.
I literally used honey on the back of the sign to make it sticky.
It fixed my problem.
Razor blades dot dot dot.
That's just wrong.
It's a weird comment, but yeah, sure.
Like, honey on the back of your sign?
Okay, that's an interesting solution, but sure.
We've arrived at the same conclusion, that razor blades are much worse than honey.
Yes.
Shane Womack replies, why?
Any thief deserves that and much more!
What if a thief stole the food from your kid or any kid at school just because they could?
Are you going to cover him in honey and call it justice?
Are you gonna pour honey over his body and then lick the delicious honey off of him?
Just walking in with a giant bucket of honey.
Which one of you motherfuckers stole my kid's lunch?
Can you imagine how silly Bill would look if he took, like, the Honey Nut Cheerios bees honeycomb and dipped it into a pot of honey and then smeared it all over some criminal's abs?
Can you imagine how fucking dumb he would look?
Also, it's not stealing your food.
It's just a fucking sign.
There are things you can... I mean, you know how you feel about stealing around these parts.
But it's just like, calm down, bud.
Yeah.
The correct analogy is like, what if somebody walked into your son's school cafeteria and said, Hey, this bleach is too close to the chicken.
And moved the can of bleach nine feet away from the chicken.
And then you sliced his hand open.
Yeah.
Cause you thought he was stealing the bleach.
um and it's so funny because like what we're kind of talking about here because any thief deserves that and much more right so deserves their hands sliced their fingers sliced and much more and forget the fact that this guy is not a thief all right let's just assume that he was taking a sign right which again we've already said is cool it's fine to do that um
This is like, this is like sharia law.
This is like, this is like fundamentalist biblical slash, you know, uh, Islam, what do you, like the tor, tor, you know, I don't know what the adjective is.
Punishment from like an Islamo state, an Islamic state, cutting your hands off for stealing.
That's a thing we've been told our entire lives.
Like, you know if you were in another country, they cut your hand off for stealing.
Like, don't ever steal.
They were definitely talking about signs.
Americans have freedom of religion so that it's a secular, so that it's not an Islamic person who cuts your hands off.
It's a 75-year-old Methodist lady who slices your fingers open for touching her sign.
That's why we have freedom from religion in this country.
Worth it.
Worth it.
I think the trade-off is beautiful.
Did they?
Eileen Blake says, not at all sorry that this happened to this so-called election worker.
Should they be called such?
I'm sorry that the individuals who supports Trump knew it would be necessary.
Did they?
Is that what they found out?
Yeah.
They didn't find out that it's totally not necessary.
Someone touched her sign!
She knew it would be necessary to slice that person's hand open because someone was going to touch the sign.
I love this, you know?
Oh, you feel sympathy for the thief?
For the election worker thief?
I feel sympathy for the woman who knew that it was inevitable.
I feel sympathy for the agony that she's lived in.
Knowing that she would have to have to maim somebody.
I'm just picturing the woman looking out of her window watching about to grab the sign and she's thinking like, is it gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you?
You know what hurts the most?
Knowing that you're right.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, I guess, yeah, sure, the 13 stitches probably hurt, but yeah, the solemnity hurts even more.
Sherry Boozer Andrews, that's a great middle name, says, I'm sure they were just trying to throw it away.
Doubt they were moving it.
He got caught and hurt.
Although putting razor blades on it was wrong, they should not have tried to, quote, place it in the correct position.
I love the use of square quotes there.
Like, oh, you're going to place it in the right place?
Is that what you're going to do?
You're going to place it somewhere differently?
We all know what that means.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Put it in the correct place, meaning the garbage bin.
We've all seen that Bob's Burgers GIF with Louise.
It's been edited to show Louise lowering the Trump sign into the garbage instead of putting it on the wall.
We've all seen it, folks.
We've all seen it.
We've been there.
It's inspiring these criminals.
It's inspiring these terrorists now.
Yeah, hey, you know what?
They were both wrong, but also I think the municipal worker was even more wrong and deserved to have their hands cut open.
Christine Conrad, interesting last name.
This one goes out to you Conrad John.
Did anyone notice they blurred out the cut?
I personally don't believe there was stitches.
I believe he got cut, but not bad enough to need stitches or they would have made sure we could see how nasty the cut was.
That's not true.
It's like the exact opposite, you sick fuck.
The exact opposite.
Yeah, it's so bad we had to blur it out.
We don't blur things out.
That's how gross it was!
Well, naturally if you have a photograph of a horrible, like, a horrible injury that was, you know, that occurred to a leftist socialist Biden voter, you'd want everybody to see it.
You'd want to show it around.
You'd want to share it with your sewing circle and your reading groups and all your private Facebook groups or whatever.
They blurred that shit out.
I don't trust anybody who doesn't want to see the bloody mess of a municipal worker's hands after they dared try and move a Trump sign.
Yeah, yeah.
I need to see it so I know that it's real and not this fucking bullshit, bullshit, fake narrative.
It's probably just a paper cut.
It probably weren't erasers.
It was probably a paper cut from the paper sign.
He probably got blisters because he had already removed like a hundred other Trump signs.
Yeah.
So stupid.
Yeah, it's cool.
I love the ways people's minds work.
Like, oh, the gore was blurred out, therefore it was fake.
They didn't want us to see it.
Otherwise, why would you blur it?
Why would you blur the gore?
I don't understand.
I can't think of any good reasons.
Okay, that's the episode, folks.
Thank you so much for listening.
Kind of a crazy subject matter today, but we appreciate you folks so much.
Always, always.
I do want to shout out to Joe Moses, who was kind enough to write a piece about the show in the Campanile.
Very kind words, very interesting take on the subject matter of the show, and we really appreciate it.
Thanks a lot, Joe.
Yeah, very much.
You can follow Joe on Twitter at JomoSexual, I believe it is.
JomoSexuality.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah.
So thanks again.
If you want to support the show, you can go to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
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And if you see headlights, man, you better run for cover It's time for the old planet Because I need to leave this place now more than ever I can see it now
