Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult This week for Patrons we're talking with the Street Fight boys about an insane piece of christian film in which "the world's most famous refugee," a secret islamic extremist, funds the creation of time travel in order to assassinate Jesus Christ. watch it here for free: https://youtu.be/uhlMNSd4Fsk Music: Westside Gunn - Allah Sent Me
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Right now the first time jump happens and they they take out Jesus one time and then the people in our current time go back again and this is where basically all the timelines just get fucking buck. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Because people die, stuff's crazy, turns out they didn't take into consideration daylight savings time. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh yeah, I forgot about that. | |
| Which is a major wrench that was thrown in the spokes of their process, which I mean, that's just so insane. | |
| Daylight savings time, because it was also the same day they were traveling, would have been daylight savings so they didn't take into consideration. | |
| So this is where everything gets fucked. | |
| So I feel like now we can kind of just like kind of go apeshit. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I can even reference the part where Simon, who we'll talk about a lot I think, is talking to Jesus and is like, I saw your movie, Passion of the Christ. | |
| He's like, but I had to stop when like your skin started like sticking together and getting Well, he says, I saw your movie. | |
| We got it on bootleg. | |
| And then he goes, Oh, we got it on bootleg. | |
| Yes. | |
| Forgive me, Lord. | |
| And I love that because he's basically apologizing for stealing from Mel Gibson. | |
| He's like apologizing to Jesus for stealing from the man who profited off of Jesus's story. | |
| Which in case we need to remind people, Simon's black. | |
| Um, and they let you know that throughout the movie, like when he's, you know, apologizing to Jesus for using, watching Passion of the Christ on bootleg, which, by the way, real shit, I actually did have on bootleg. | |
| Yep, obviously on bootleg. | |
| Jesus wouldn't have been against bootlegs for sure. | |
| I had the DVD with the printed disc on it that I literally got from the barbershop. | |
| Well, my dad did. | |
| But yeah, so they know about the movie. | |
| There is no accidents here. | |
| Jim Caviezel, Justin Castro, it's all very real. | |
| Yeah, so the first time they end up there and basically the hit squad is successful the first time around. | |
| And does Simon get left around from the first time? | |
| Is that what it is? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Simon gets stuck with a bad watch and is then in Bible times. | |
| Um, and ends up finding his way to Jesus as he's like doing his march with the cross and everything. | |
| Well, he finds Jesus crying in the woods. | |
| Like, he finds Jesus crying in the woods, and that's when he's talking about, that's when he's rapping with him about passion of the Christ and shit. | |
| It's so, it's so fucking good, man. | |
| And this is supposed to be when, like, so the thing is, there's a really great line I love in this movie that Simon delivers, where it's almost like he breaks the fourth wall or whatever, and he says, You know, all this historical stuff is incredibly accurate. | |
| And that's a lie that Simon delivers almost to us. | |
| Because you'll learn that throughout this movie, these characters will plug themselves into the actual story of Christ. | |
| Simon's name is Simon, because there is a Simon that is crucial. | |
| Mind blown. | |
| It's such a funny moment. | |
| he says this this historical stuff is pretty accurate when there's there is a solar eclipse on the day of jesus's execution crucifixion or whatever yeah but after so simon doesn't get to go back his watch malfunctions but uh he is paired up with felix who does get to go back when felix goes back he's immediately apprehended by ahmed and ahmed's team or whatever and they're like how'd you get back or whatever | |
| and they're marching him to his office and that's when the world around them starts dissolving because time is catching up they have successfully killed jesus in time continuum a so So then the world catches up and it becomes this beautifully sculpted garden with sculpted bushes and hedges and shit. | |
| Yeah, a topiary garden basically. | |
| And he's like... | |
| He's like, we've done it. | |
| Sorry, I lost my notes right here. | |
| Oh, he says, he says, finally, a world without filthy Christians. | |
| And it's this beautiful courtyard. | |
| And then time overrides again. | |
| And we don't know why time does a second wave in this same continuum. | |
| But this time when it overrides, it's an apocalyptic wasteland with burned out skyscrapers and bad- Like a green tent. | |
| And bad weather. | |
| There's like tornadoes in the background and shit. | |
| It's WALL-E! | |
| It's the Matrix! | |
| It's the world outside the Matrix! | |
| We didn't end up still building all the buildings and stuff though, so there had to be some good times. |