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April 21, 2020 - Minion Death Cult

56:01

Liberate Billabong (Mach II)

This week: We cover the beautiful signage at the Huntington Beach quarantine protest and dive into even more beautiful facebook reactions. We had another segment but Skype stopped working :) Support the show at www.patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week Music: Frodus - Out-circuit the Ending

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get yourself.
	Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	Lord.
	Amen.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Not being able to get the healing power from those sweet, sweet waves is responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up, everybody?
	It's a free show this week.
	Hey, you know, we normally do them.
	If you're a new listener, we normally do a free show.
	But the thing is, is I'm an essential employee.
	And so you guys have to share me with the rest of society.
	And sometimes that means paying premium for that content, baby.
	And remember, this is your fault.
	By you, I mean the listener.
	Everybody that participates in capitalism, that makes Alex go out and do his job for 10 to 12 hours nearly every day, 13 occasionally, that's your fault.
	So just remember that.
	I did work 13 hours today.
	Just got home from work and boy is my sense of moral outrage tired.
	Dude, honestly, you really should have done 14 because of bad luck.
	Can't work.
	Gotta stay for 14.
	Well, if it's bad luck associated with work, does that mean something will happen, like the building explodes and I don't have to go back?
	That's true.
	That could just be good luck.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I'm sick of complaining about work, so I won't be doing that.
	We're gonna do this episode.
	We're gonna not edit this episode.
	So, try not to have any takes about Food Not Bombs.
	Don't say anything about Food Not Bombs.
	Don't say anything about Hitler's astrological chart.
	And I think we'll be good.
	Okay, cool.
	Yeah, I'll try my best.
	I really gotta kind of hit the whiteboard again now.
	Back to the drawing board.
	Just gonna do an hour and a half on Food Not Bombs.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, let's just get right into it.
	So the first thing we're going to be talking about today are the anti-quarantine protests.
	Of course.
	Of course.
	That's what we're going to be talking about today.
	Naturally.
	It's always weird to me when Minion Death Cult spills onto the national stage.
	Yeah, it is kind of wild to see.
	It's weird because I'm like, this is not my... Alex isn't sending me this, this is just on the news.
	And that kind of is surreal to see, you know?
	It takes a little bit of the fun out of it.
	Normally the fun is going in and seeing what the grunts on the ground are saying about what the people on the national stage are doing or how they're supporting them.
	Yeah, it's a lot like hearing your favorite indie band in a commercial.
	Or it's like hearing the indie bands that inspired... It's like you go to see Thrice perform, but instead you're seeing Frodus.
	And it's like, well what's the point of my Frodus podcast now?
	Everybody's just watching Frodus.
	Yeah this doesn't make any sense anymore like I'm no longer niche this is now.
	Yeah and it's I don't know it's it's just like normally what we talk about on the show is we talk about like the way you know these weird sick freaks like interpret the news.
	The way these like weirdos interpret What they see on Fox News, what they read on Breitbart, what they formulate themselves, you know, that's like what's interesting to us.
	And now they're just doing it, they're doing the show for us for free on, you know, ABC and shit.
	And it's not fair, I think.
	It's bullshit.
	It's also like, you know, a bit of like, they're not doing it right.
	You know?
	They don't really know about the real influences.
	They don't really understand.
	Seeing wild cue signs on the news, wild ones, and just the news not acknowledging at all what they just had on the screen is really interesting too.
	It's irresponsible, I think.
	It's irresponsible for the news to not laugh at each individual sign openly.
	They're just giving them a free platform.
	I don't know.
	The protest sign is like the bad post in meat space.
	In the real world, you know?
	It's, it's like, uh, it's them just, like, DIYing, uh, their weird Facebook groups into, into, like, this is them doing, uh, what, what do you call it?
	Uh, this is them doing, like, direct action.
	This is them doing, like, material support.
	Yeah.
	This is like the corniest, like, black block.
	It's, it's really just so bad and so, like, corny.
	Do you think that this is like, they heard our podcast and they enjoy our podcast, but they're also like, these guys just do a podcast.
	Podcasts aren't real life, okay?
	We need to get out there and actually do the real material work, you know?
	Podcasting isn't activism.
	So they went the next step and they brought the posts out front of the BJ's in downtown Huntington Beach.
	That contrast is incredible.
	All the businesses they're in front of.
	It's like, I don't know, we've been to all those places.
	Yeah, all of them.
	You know, in Huntington Beach.
	The Vans store.
	I go to Huntington to go to that BJ's because that's, you know, that's a good BJ's.
	My dad definitely goes to this BJ's at least like once every couple months.
	Yeah, yeah, no doubt, no doubt.
	Yeah, the Billabong store.
	Our favorite store.
	The Frog House.
	The Play It Again Sports right there.
	You know, this is our bread and butter, okay?
	We're a West Coast podcast, folks, so you're gonna have to deal with the inside references like Billabong and Vans, which are a big deal on the West Coast.
	Beach.
	Chill life.
	Chill stuff like Vans and Billabongs and the Hurleys of the world.
	Hurley sounds like a slur if you don't know what's up.
	There's, like, just a Hurley store in Huntington Beach, huh?
	I'm sure, yeah.
	I'm almost positive.
	Uh, there's like probably just a Rainbow Sandals store.
	Oh, no, there absolutely is that.
	Yeah.
	There's a Rainbow Sandals store and then every store also sells Rainbow Sandals.
	There is just an, there's just an Oakley's store in Huntington Beach, for sure.
	But you walk in and it's still just like a bodega, like a kiosk thing inside.
	It's kind of weird.
	You can get like drinks there.
	Is that what you're saying?
	Uh no what's the like a pagoda what's what's the ones that are like in the mall like a like a the center oh yeah yeah you mean yeah it's still like a little like a kiosk yeah yeah yeah but they have a storefront and that's important I swear to god this guy in the background of this first shot wearing he's wearing a MAGA hat but he's also wearing a puka shell necklace and that's cool that's how you know it's Huntington Beach And like, yeah, like shorts.
	I don't know.
	I know that sounds stupid, but like, it is notable that this was two days ago.
	It's April and he's wearing shorts.
	Yeah, that's kind of how we do it on the West Coast.
	And he has one of those like, those like ice waters, which is like, no one buys those.
	You only get those from like picnics.
	Do you know what I mean?
	Like family functions?
	Yeah.
	I've never bought a case of ice.
	This guy has those ice waters.
	It's like flavored water.
	Yeah.
	As I sip my La Croix, I'm like hating on that.
	Yeah, well, why don't you make the switch to polar, dude?
	You're right, you're right.
	I'm telling you.
	Polar orange cream seltzer, it's a game changer.
	They have a unicorn one that the kid likes, so I get that every once in a while.
	Is it like cotton candy flavor?
	What is that shit?
	I don't know.
	I think it's just like a runoff flavor, and they're like, it's unicorn.
	It's like the suicide flavor?
	No, it's like the Airhead Mystery flavor.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	Cool.
	Yeah, I'm just looking through these photos of the Huntington Beach anti-quarantine protests.
	And yeah, the first one is a woman in an American flag tank top and she's holding up a sign that says, social distancing equals communism.
	Yeah.
	And this is the same, the sign is written in the same exact font as that other sign of a woman, that a woman's holding in front of a 31 Flavors that says, give me liberty or give me death.
	Yeah, I thought these were both photoshopped with like the same like brush, but they're not.
	They're just, that's the font.
	It's like a fake, I think it's a fake scratchy font meant to look like handwriting.
	I think it's like an actual printed sign.
	Okay, that makes more sense.
	Yeah, it looks like it looks like I'm like lush lush beauty products, you know those like Bath bombs.
	No, it's the same It's the same Like font listeners.
	No, you're the only one not using a bath bombs And it shows.
	People have uncovered that these protests are just 100% astroturfed.
	That all the Facebook pages were started by some guy in Florida for every site.
	All the domains for each state.
	Liberate Georgia, Liberate North Carolina, etc.
	Pretty much all belong to some guy in Florida.
	Go to Reddit.
	If you want to read all the info on that.
	But yeah, I just love this.
	Social distancing equals communism.
	When you definitely know what communism is.
	The thing about communism is it's people being atomized and separated and totally disconnected from one another.
	Not relying on each other for communal support, not participating in a sort of planned, what do you call it, like enmeshed economy.
	That's what communism is.
	Yeah, that's the difference between like socialism and communism is like Socialism you have to wear the mask, but like communism you have to wear the gloves and the mask.
	That's why it's worse.
	And then you're also murdered if you go within six feet.
	Yeah.
	And it's just, it's very good holding this sign in front of the BJ's brew house while people stand around and like drink outside, you know, and just like chill or whatever, like it seems like a really bad time.
	And I mean, yeah, like a lot of these businesses are still open for takeout and delivery, but As the giant sign behind them says, very huge.
	But how are you supposed to like take out a nutty brunette beer from BJ's?
	They're doing that somehow.
	There's some like weird law where like you can get like road beers in California.
	Well if it's bottled I guess.
	No man, like cups with lids.
	What?
	Yeah, it's wild.
	Is that a new thing for quarantine?
	Yeah, it's some weird provision.
	It's really wild.
	And you can get cocktails with lids, and because they just don't make non-strawed lids, there's straw holes in all of these cups.
	It's really wild.
	I guess it's kind of like that New Orleans thing, you know?
	Where it's like you just can't puncture the lid, but it's like, I don't, you know.
	Alright, so I take it back.
	There's no reason to protest.
	If I can still get a piranha pale ale from BJ's, there's no excuse to protest.
	A cali blonde, a wild brunette, nutty brunette.
	It's the nutty brunette and the blonde is just called blonde.
	Like the nutty brunette has a picture of a brunette on it, but the blonde is just, it just says blonde and it's got a picture of a blonde on it.
	They didn't try as hard with that one.
	When they first opened it was called the Aryan Ale.
	But that didn't last very long.
	It's got a picture of... What's the name of that Aryan folk band?
	The two girls?
	Something blue?
	Oh yeah, oh yeah, they're so creepy.
	I know what you mean though, it's definitely them on it.
	Yeah, it's them on it.
	The next photo from the Huntington Beach protest is a woman carrying a sign, I think this one actually is handwritten, that says, Stop Killing Small Business!
	Liberate Huntington Beach!
	Please save BJ's.
	We need to save the mom and pops like the BJ's.
	First of all, is there such a thing as a small business in Huntington Beach?
	I don't think so, no.
	A small business is somebody's hobby shop that you just open because you're bored staying at home and now you want to open a store where you can hand paint signs.
	Or like a, you know, colored-me-mine-but-it's-your-own-one, you know?
	For people who don't know, Huntington Beach is an incredibly wealthy area.
	Like, every beach area in Southern California is just incredibly wealthy.
	It used to be one of the reddest parts of Southern California.
	The various beaches in Orange County, Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, etc.
	It's an incredibly expensive place to live, especially the closer you get to the beach.
	I don't think anything counts as a small business.
	I know a small business is like defined by how many employees you have, but I don't think that's the way we should define it.
	Like, I think we should define it by if you make like a million dollars a year, then you're just not a small business anymore.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Like, you should just be called a corporation.
	Even if you're not incorporated or whatever.
	We should just get to call you a corporation so you get lumped in with all the other, like, demons.
	Yeah, or even if it's just like, you know, the person who owns it doesn't need it kind of thing.
	You know, how- Yeah.
	Because that's what happens with these places, you know?
	It's like, oh, you know, you want to open a pizza shop?
	Like, go for it.
	Um, but yeah, but they're all, but they're all chains.
	They're all chains.
	They're all like, they're all, they're all either chains or they're like somebody's wife's vanity project or there's somebody's son's vanity project.
	Like it's the, the fucking jewelry stores, the various jewelry stores in Huntington Beach are not like, Oh, family owned.
	I mean, maybe they are family owned, but you know what I mean?
	Like it's not a small business.
	No, no.
	But yeah, stop killing small business, liberate Huntington Beach.
	And so like, I just want to translate this sign.
	I want to put on my they live glasses here.
	The sign just says stop killing small business, start killing my employees.
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	That's exactly what it is.
	It's a wild thing to see and I'm really happy people are kind of trying to call that out a little bit.
	Like, these people don't want to go back to work.
	They just want us to go back to work.
	100%.
	One of the people on the, one of the like 25 year old women who was being interviewed, I can't remember if it was Huntington Beach or not, but they were talking, they were talking to him and they were like, yeah, we just want to go back to work.
	We just want to go back to work.
	And then one of the other women, one of the older women, probably this woman I'm talking about, probably her mother or something was like, yeah, she's got a great team and they just want to go back to work.
	And I'm like, okay.
	Oh, yep.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I'm sure your team wants to go back to work for you making, I don't know, $17 an hour at the most to die.
	Oh, that's the most, yeah.
	And like, yeah, it's... I love how they told themselves, you know, like he said, I want my team to go back to work.
	I'm tired of not making a profit.
	I had plans for, you know, May's coming up.
	That's like Mother's Day.
	That's my nut.
	Mother's Day is my nut every year.
	I sell cake pops.
	I only got a couple days a year where I really, you know, really goes.
	Um, it's, it's weird.
	There's like a balance these people have to do because I feel like if you're, if you're a quote small business owner or whatever, you can't not talk about how you're a small business owner.
	That's like half the reason you own a small business is so you get the valor of owning a small business.
	It's, it's so you get like the, the word, the self worth of having people beneath you.
	It's so you can just like suck up those accolades on Facebook or from the president or whatever and it's a tough act to balance when you're talking about literally putting your employees lives in jeopardy because if you accidentally say oh hey yeah I own a business and I want my fucking employees to come back to work like that sounds a little bad Yeah, sounds pretty terrible.
	But also, how are you supposed to talk about it and maintain your status?
	And so I feel like that other person, the older of the two women, had the right idea.
	Oh, she's part of a great team.
	She's got a family that wants to get back to work for her.
	That's the only way you can kind of do it.
	At Boswell's Rocky Mountain Chocolate, we're a family.
	And I miss my family.
	And I want to put my family back to work.
	Yeah, the cool thing about this family is like they have to see me.
	They can't block me on Facebook.
	They can't deny me access to other members of the family.
	And that's why we're a family.
	We're the type of family that a judge can't order no visitation rights for.
	And even if they do that, I'm still gonna pester them on Slack.
	Yeah, well, I mean, you can just fire them, you know, and the threat of firing will always bring them back home, you know?
	Yeah.
	So, I thought it was interesting, like, in these photos from the Huntington Beach protest, just sprinkled through are also photos of, like, really cool cars.
	Yeah, yeah, it's like that sick, the one you posed in here.
	Is there a name for it that's not a Woody?
	It's just a Woody.
	It's like a hot rotted Woody.
	It's a completely fake Woody.
	I mean, the wood might be real, but it's like a, you know, it's like a slammed 63, not 63, slammed 33 Chevy with like really bright walnut wood.
	Paneling everywhere.
	It looks like shit, man.
	Yeah, it looks pretty terrible.
	It looks fake.
	It looks like entirely plastic.
	Like, it looks like a completely plastic car you would give a three-year-old.
	Yeah, it looks like the, um, not the, uh, Hot Wheels version, but like the Bootleg Hot Wheel Company made it.
	I love the idea of how many people were like, it's time to go flex the ride, y'all.
	Time to go show off my ride.
	There's going to be some prime eyes out there to see me in my sweet, sweet Surfmobile that has like the matching surfboard on top, like permanently attached to the roof.
	That's what I was gonna say.
	So there's a lot of stuff going on with this Woody.
	Adding to the, I don't know, sense that it's a fucking toy, there is a wood longboard on top of it that's clearly just like wood glued to the roof.
	Like, it is the weapon that comes, like, firmly glued into the fist of your action figure.
	And that decision was made when they were like, you gotta glue it, because you can't drill it, because then the surfboard's useless.
	You drill it, there's holes in the surfboard now.
	You gotta glue it in.
	You gotta epoxy it in.
	Listener, if you had to guess what vanity plate this Woody had, what would you guess?
	A is hang loose.
	H-N-G-L-O-O-S.
	A is hang loose, H-N-G-L-O-O-S. B is S-R-F-S-U-P. C is surfing H-N-G-L-O-O-S. B is S-R-F-S-U-P. C is surfing USA.
	S-F-I-N-U-S-A.
	And D is locals only.
	L-C-L-S-O-N-L-Y.
	Alright, take your time.
	Did you have those ready?
	No.
	Or did you just do all those?
	No, I just did all of them.
	I mean, you did most of those.
	That was incredible.
	My dad's a pretty big surf head.
	That's what we call him in California.
	A real surf head.
	And also a license plate enthusiast.
	So you were made for this.
	My dad has a surf themed vanity plate.
	I did not know that.
	Yeah.
	It is...
	It's something with Sano.
	It's supposed to be San Onofre, which is the beach that he serves.
	What the fuck is it?
	I probably shouldn't give that out.
	Yeah.
	On second hand.
	It's a good one, though.
	No.
	Okay, the answer was C. Suffin USA.
	Yeah.
	Siffin'.
	Siffin'.
	Alright, yeah, I thought that was funny.
	Just like some cool cars in the middle of your, like, life-and-death economic protest.
	Hey, these cars are pretty cool, though, right?
	You can't erase California culture, man.
	You know?
	No, that's true.
	We don't put the culture on the backburner, man.
	Like, it's part of who we are.
	The next photo of the...
	Yeah uh the next last photo from the Huntington Beach protest uh that I thought was amazing again it's two women uh holding signs uh one of them says socialism underlined distancing So, again, like the thing I know about socialism is that it's bad.
	I think social distancing is bad.
	By the transitive property, by mathematics, logic, this is socialism distancing.
	Like, if this is one of those, like, you know, word riddle things, it says socialism and then there's a line and then it says distancing.
	So they're doing like a socialism social distancing pun, but it also reads as like socialism over distancing.
	Okay.
	And that's what you would do if you were doing a clever sign.
	It makes no sense.
	Are they saying they would rather take socialism over distancing?
	Because that could be arranged.
	I don't know why the T in distancing is like a cross.
	It's tall and like a cross.
	I thought it was a plus sign at first because the sign is kind of at an angle.
	So I thought it was socialism plus distancing.
	But it's just the T in distancing being like one and a half times as tall as the rest of the word.
	I think maybe there just wasn't enough room.
	I don't know what's going on there.
	Yeah, it's socialism.
	Social distancing.
	Social has the... Socialism has that word in it.
	And we know... Yeah.
	We know that socialism is bad.
	And yeah.
	It's funny because like social distancing is kind of like... It's a negation of socializing, right?
	It's a negation of a society.
	Like a society relies on people being in proximity to one another and so social distancing is like explaining that no, you can't do social stuff.
	You can't socialize.
	And that's what socialism is to her when you can't do social things.
	It's socialism.
	Yeah.
	It's just like you said, it's just dummy word association.
	It doesn't make any sense.
	It's just like... I don't know.
	They're throwing noodles at the wall hoping something sticks, you know?
	This is like a bad joke we would make on the show.
	Like... Yeah.
	Oh, social distancing.
	You mean socialism distancing.
	Oh, the social network with Mark Fuckerberg.
	You mean the socialism network.
	You just keep going with Mark Zuckerberg.
	I do like her shirt.
	Did you see her shirt?
	Oh, you talk about the other side first?
	Well, I can't.
	What's her shirt say?
	Keep honking.
	I can't hear you over the sound of freedom or something.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's just a good, good old-fashioned Facebook T that I like a lot.
	Well, it's part of this, like, Team America post-irony thing of, like, we're gonna take the fucking dumbest and most idiotic representation of America and, like, lean into it and own it.
	uh, where to like freedom is a verb.
	Oh, sorry.
	I was freedoming today.
	You know, it's, it's that thing.
	Um, the other sign is, uh, all underlined is essential.
	Like you didn't, you never, you've never felt this way in your life.
	You've never in your life felt like all is essential.
	Cause if you were to like translate, if you were to hear that any other time in history, you would be, you know, you would be like talking about people who aren't, aren't represented, you know, people who are all like all are equal and all rep, Everyone is needed, you know, but, but that's not what they mean at all.
	It's like, they don't, it's, it's, they're not being generous here at all.
	First of all, I've never thought all is essential.
	For me personally, I've thought all are essential, but... No, this is like, it's all lives matter, right?
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	That's what it is, but it's even worse because it's all lives must report for duty tomorrow morning at 8 a.m.
	Must clock in, yeah.
	Incredible yeah that's totally what it is.
	All lives must come in to present themselves to the coronavirus and be judged.
	Another thing that's interesting about this picture too is like they're both wearing masks so they're both like at least somewhat aware and they know they probably should be wearing masks and they know that something's happening but like every interview you saw like it seemed to still not matter like they they just can't reality just doesn't seem to matter to these people it's really interesting well that's the thing you know is that's the thing is like they're
	they're just they know that it's deadly and they're That's, that's the thing about this.
	It's not like, I mean, there's, there's a large percentage of people who are like, no, it's fake or, you know, no, it's, it's a PSYOP or no, the Democrats are making it up to make Trump look bad or whatever.
	But I think like the majority of these freaks are like, No, we acknowledge that there's a virus.
	We acknowledge that it's extremely contagious and that it will spread rapidly and kill the most at-risk among us.
	Yeah.
	And?
	That's the thing.
	They know it's a problem, but they are just assuming it's a problem for other people.
	Yeah, so if it's gonna kill 1 in 10 of us, that means I just need to get a group of like 60, so my odds of being a survivor increase.
	Mm-hmm.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, put more people in your workplace, and that way your odds increase.
	That's how that works.
	Alright, let's get into con- Oh, and also, this just reminded me, I think Mike Rowe went on Fox News, because I saw like a Fox News post or a Fox News like little fake meme- not fake, but like a meme with just a Mike Rowe quote, where he said, all workers are essential.
	And it's like, yes, we are essential.
	Yes, thank you.
	So we'll be being paid accordingly, I'm assuming.
	Exactly and like when this is all over we're all gonna be treated like essential people and be given things like health care right?
	Because you want essential people to survive right?
	I just it's it's like we went from saying uh Yeah, keep protesting for that $15 an hour.
	You'll be replaced by a computer pretty soon.
	No, we desperately need you to get back here and make my pizza.
	Brew my beer.
	So, some comments from this specific Huntington Beach post.
	I think this was in the Drain the Swamp Facebook group.
	This first comment I loved.
	So, in case you're unaware, Huntington Beach is in California.
	And Angela Burdess Lack says about Huntington Beach protest.
	In the Drain the Swamp Facebook group.
	You're the idiots that love all the crap the Dems throw at us.
	You're the idiots that start this kind of shit.
	Knock on your hero Pelosi's door and talk to her about it... If you would use your strung-out crackhead brains, you would know the Democrats are behind all of this!
	But your dumb asses will still vote them in.
	Put a mask on your ugly mugs and stay the hell home.
	You're the disgrace of this fine country dot dot dot.
	YOU FREAKS!
	Three exclamation points.
	Wild.
	I love these things where they're... So, she's saying it's real, but the Democrats did it.
	Right?
	But it's like, if you're saying it's real, then like, why are you still not wanting to take the precautions?
	Why are you willing to like, walk right into the trap?
	No, I think you're giving too much credit.
	She is saying that the Democrats are responsible for the quarantine or for the lockdown on the state.
	Oh, okay.
	And then she's assuming that everybody in California, including the people with Trump hats on, are Democratic voters.
	Because Nancy Pelosi's district is in San Francisco.
	Okay, yeah, I see the correlation there.
	This was posted in a Drain the Swamp Facebook group, full of photos of MAGA hats and Trump signs and whatever, and she's like, she knows enough to know that Huntington Beach is in California.
	Yeah, and so that means that all these people, they're part of the problem themselves.
	Yeah, they're the Democrats, they're in California after all.
	What was I going to say here?
	I think it's cool that these photos were mostly of white people protesting in Huntington Beach, and yet she still calls them crackheads.
	I think that's cool.
	That was generous, that was nice.
	I think that's pretty progressive.
	Yeah, she didn't just put him in the normal slot that we find, you know, how we divide ethnicities up when it comes to drug use.
	That was very nice of her.
	But this is like a California, the West Coast in general, popular punching bag in these, you know, right-wing boomer Facebook groups.
	Despite the fact that California is giant and has like millions, literally millions of right and far-right citizens, you know?
	Huge pockets.
	There's always like California Republicans who comment on these posts.
	They're like, hey, not me!
	And they really are like the equivalent of like white people on the left.
	Yep, yep.
	They really are the equivalent of like, not all men, you know?
	Yep.
	- No, not all of us.
	We're good ones. - They have to go in there and be like, no, California lives matter.
	And they're like, shut the fuck up, commie.
	It's like the people that are like, uh, they're like, well, why don't you leave already?
	Every, every day, every day you're, you're sitting on Democrat occupied land is a, is a disgrace.
	Yeah, if you're there when we launch this attack, that's on you.
	Yeah, they're like basically calling them like colonizers, like the right-wing version of colonizers.
	Yeah.
	It's pretty funny.
	I love it, I love it.
	And then Mark Lussard has an interesting take about this.
	He says, it's a double reverse play.
	Space.
	Dot dot dot.
	Create a real illness.
	Space.
	Comma.
	Create an overdramatic socially brutal isolation scheme.
	Comma.
	Anger the masses into congregating in protest space comma and becoming infected space comma space Then eliminating those masses with the lethal results of congregating space dot dot tricky space dot dot Okay, I think Mark is a fucking genius because I think yeah, I
	This plan that the Democrats have done is like extremely convoluted and like zigzaggy and windy and kind of like loops in on itself a couple times and Mark has yet sussed it out.
	Mark has still figured it out.
	It's a double reverse play.
	It's one of those double reverse plays that they do.
	What you do is you create a real illness and then you create an overdramatic socially brutal isolation scheme in response to the real illness which will anger the masses into congregating in protest and becoming infected and then they die because of how lethal the real illness is.
	Yeah, it's incredible.
	It's just a vicious cycle that keeps repeating and Democrats are the architects.
	And it's tricky.
	It's tricky.
	Tr-tr-tr-tricky!
	I was thinking about that.
	This plan is like that snowboarding game from the early 2000s.
	SSX Tricky!
	That game was sick!
	Yeah, it was pretty cool.
	I was thinking, remember there was a period of time where, like, a punchline would be like, white people listening to Run DMC is tricky?
	Like, and I'm due to race my car?
	Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
	Yeah, those are good old days.
	Yeah, uh... I mean, that was cool.
	It was.
	No, I like, like, what does, like... Like, what does Mark think is, is, at all...
	Like, disingenuous about that.
	Like, when he says create a real illness, does he think, he means that literally, like Democrats made it, like they had Bunsen burners and like, you know, beakers and shit full of the coronavirus and they made it.
	But if it is...
	Even if that's what you're thinking, if that's your thought process, then you still think it's real.
	So you should still take precaution.
	Yeah.
	If it's real, then it's not overly dramatic to socially isolate.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Then that's okay.
	Even though it's fake, even though it was made by somebody in a lab, you should still, you know... Be mad about it.
	Be safe.
	Yeah, you should be mad about it.
	Yeah, and take care of it, like, smartly.
	Like, not walk into the trap.
	I think he's, you know, I think he's not being classist here.
	I think he's acknowledging that, you know, people are just going to get mad and maybe they don't have the means or the education or, you know, the wealth to fall back on.
	And so they're going to get mad and they're going to get confused and frustrated.
	And they're going to go out and protest in front of Wahoo's Fish Tacos.
	Like, yeah, I can still get those fish tacos, but I can't eat them in there in front of a Plexiglas surfboard.
	How am I supposed to pay my tribute to Travis Barker?
	He's a co-owner of Wahoo's, I believe.
	Well, that's good to know.
	Yeah, I get to take home a drink with a lid, but it's not the Tiki mug.
	Yeah, I can't take the salsa bar home with me.
	And then finally, we got a touch on this guy.
	We got a touch on our boy here.
	So this is a different post.
	I think this is North Carolina.
	Mike Connor posted on Facebook in a pretty viral post.
	He goes, I'm so proud of our community here in Emerald Isle, taking a stand against the town's decision to deny our legal right to access and use the Atlantic Ocean.
	You know, I want to use that baby.
	It's there.
	It's there for us to use.
	You can't own the ocean?
	You can't keep me from the ocean?
	I mean, unless you're an incredibly wealthy person who has a private beach, then yeah, of course.
	Of course you can own the beach and I'm not allowed to go there.
	Well, they earned the beach though.
	Say it again?
	They earned the beach.
	They worked hard for the beach.
	No, that part's true.
	But this is Enclaim Beach.
	One day I will have this beach.
	But for now, I need access to it.
	Yeah, shortly after the organized peaceful protest this morning regarding this matter, I witnessed this decorated retired U.S.
	Navy chief in full dress uniform standing in the Atlantic Ocean with this sign erected.
	Thank you for your service and support, sir.
	And in one of the funniest photos I've ever seen, Possibly the funniest photo I've ever seen.
	Possibly the funniest thing we've ever talked about on this show.
	It's, it's, it's top five.
	There is, uh, in the foreground of this shot, on the shore, in the sand, is a, like, hand-drawn, sort of, like, realty, or, uh, what do you call it?
	Like, political lawn sign?
	It says, LAND OF THE FREE, in all caps, and in the background, standing knee-deep,
	in ocean water is a navy officer in full dress yeah yeah this is one for the ages this is this is like our uh v-day kiss photo the one where his hands are like behind his back and he's like standing at standing at whatever like attention that standing at whatever i like that better
	Yeah, it's so good.
	He's also not that deep at all.
	Saying knee deep is generous.
	He's like, well, yeah, he's definitely one of them.
	But it's like, he's not that far out, especially for like a Navy guy, right?
	Aren't, isn't that kind of your thing?
	Aren't you supposed to be able to like go Navy seal it?
	I'm picturing what, like the thought process in this guy's head, right?
	We're assuming that he's a real Navy officer.
	Uh, there's, they're calling him a Navy chief.
	I don't know about that.
	Uh, this is, he's got the Navy outfit though.
	He's got the white hat on.
	This guy's like, listen, I'm super fucking pissed off.
	I can't get to the water.
	That's like my bread and butter, baby.
	I'm a Navy officer.
	Okay.
	And like, yeah, sure.
	I've been retired.
	I've been sitting on the couch and maybe like, uh, you know, taking my golf cart to, uh, the, I don't know, where, where do old people go?
	Do you think he doesn't go to the VFW?
	Do you think?
	Yeah, I mean, sure.
	That makes sense.
	Yeah.
	They go down to the diner, they go to the diner.
	Yeah, for sure.
	They go to Denny's and shit, right?
	Get oatmeal.
	Go buy oatmeal at a diner.
	They go to Mimi's Cafe.
	He's like, no.
	Okay, we need to take a stand and I'm going to literally do that.
	I'm going to stand in the fucking water because that is where I am at my most powerful.
	Yep yep and I also it was completely premeditated because like first of all that's kind of the uniform kind of makes it very serious you know but then the sign's very telling because that is a lawn sign and he thought to himself like I need this to be in front of me I can't hold it in the water I mean it might get wet that way um so I gotta like put it in the sand and he got a special sign just for that It's incredible.
	You're right.
	You think he thought about doing a buoy swim, but then he realized he would totally die trying that?
	You're right about the premeditation thing.
	I love him putting on his dress uniform and walking out into the ocean, but not to, like, kill himself.
	Like, that's, like, the only reason you walk into the ocean wearing dresses.
	Like, that's the only honorable way to walk into the ocean with your uniform on.
	Exactly with like weights in your pockets.
	Yeah, you need to put some like Iraqi dinar in your pockets and just walk out Just fill your shoes with dinar and just go go for a walk Um, yeah, it's, it's like, it's like Bill, it's like in the flood episode of King of the Hill, Bill putting on his dress uniform and just laying in bed and waiting to die.
	Like that's what this dude would do if he weren't such a fucking coward.
	Dude just went out and got a little bit wet.
	He got like a little bit, he got like uncomfortable for his rights.
	Somebody, somebody in the comments mentioned they were like, man, I think that like all the the dry cleaners are closed, like his uniform's fucked.
	Okay, his uniform's toast.
	The dry cleaners are open, but he's gonna have to wait in line.
	Okay.
	That's true.
	Yeah, it's just a very funny photo like I can't get and then in the other photo you can see a cop Watching him safely from dry sand And I think it's also cool that that cop had to stand there and watch him like it's so embarrassing for everybody involved Well because if no one's paying attention like this this old fella like if he trips I mean the undertow is a powerful beast It's a good hardcore band, too.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	But like, there's no lifeguards on duty right now, you know?
	So that would have been a wild ending to this.
	So yeah, they had to watch him, and I love that that's where the resources went for the day.
	It's tight, man.
	Yeah, I'm gonna go fucking, like, stand on a table for my rights.
	I'm gonna go climb a tree against quarantine.
	If you're doing what he's doing, wouldn't you just stand in the middle of a lobby with a package?
	Isn't that the equivalent of if you were to do it?
	No, because I'm allowed already to do that.
	I'm encouraged to do that.
	do that i'm encouraged to like if they if they took your ocean your ocean rights away which you know your ocean rights are like you know your truck rights yeah man i'd i'd protest i'd play some red dead redemption 2 uh in honor of my rights I I'd fucking play guitar for the first time in three weeks to take a stand for my rights.
	But you do it in your uniform to really make a point.
	I'm doing this podcast in my uniform to make a point about quarantine.
	And I'm saluting, so.
	Thank you.
	Good.
	No, thank you. - That's a problem.
	I'm getting a lot of thank you for your services.
	It's pretty weird.
	Yeah, I like, I like try to like tell the, um, I was out for a little run and I, I try to like let the post person know that I was like, you know, was with them, but it didn't, it just didn't really, they just didn't want, they weren't in a good mood and I was like, oh, I should have just kept that one to myself.
	How'd you say it?
	What'd you say?
	Uh, I, I was like, um, I kind of forgot what I said now, but it was just like, uh, hey, like, I'm, you know, with you, you know?
	Uh, he was like, no, you're not.
	Yeah yeah and then I realized like oh man this person doesn't know that like I do work and I'm also running a few like a like a rich neighborhood and this guy just thinks I'm an asshole.
	What you say is you say you say I appreciate you.
	That's all you gotta say.
	Yeah, but every time I do that, I just go, appreciate ya.
	Well, don't say it like that.
	Is that the way you have to say it when you're running?
	Because you're like bouncing?
	It's just the way I say it.
	It's just the way that I say it.
	It's just how it comes out every time.
	Okay, then don't say it.
	I try to not do that, but...
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I think it's really cool that I get thanked for my service and like there's like army people like they're on bases and they're like overseas and shit so like they don't get anybody thanking them for their service.
	Yeah and their face.
	I think well I think it's kind of unfair you know I think what we should do is we should have the army in every city in the nation so that we can all thank them personally for for their service.
	Yeah.
	I think that's smart.
	I was thinking about like... Have a... Have a ticker tape parade where we all stay inside.
	No, I just mean like... I mean like we should have an army guy stationed on every corner, in front of every store, like patrolling the streets, you know, so we get the opportunity to thank them.
	I was thinking about like... I like that.
	The worst leftist take is like...
	Like, how come our money's going to the military and they're just, they're overseas?
	They're in frickin' the Middle East, you know?
	If we're gonna be paying them, they should be over here.
	They should be, you know, in our cities and in our schools.
	Enforcing mask rules.
	enforcing mask rules yeah well like what people don't realize if we were to just keep a little bit of pepper spray in the air at all times people would be more inclined to keep their mask on you.
	That's a good point.
	Some comments from this post, pretty good, this post about the Navy officer standing in the water.
	I'm sorry, like a fucking brain genius.
	Like a powerful man.
	This is a powerful man.
	Yeah.
	Melanie Walker says, what some people don't get with this gentleman is the fact that he served and fought for capital this, capital freedom he is standing for.
	Literally.
	I salute you, sir, and I thank you for your service.
	Thank you for still standing for our freedom!
	He's like, I never sit down.
	He's still standing after all these years.
	I actually had to modify an automobile to make it so that I can get around while standing.
	Lord knows you can't stop a Navy officer from standing.
	No.
	Navy chiefs be standing.
	He would like to sit.
	He would like to sit, but he has no knees.
	It's difficult.
	And then Andy Kennel says, yes, to this protest, to this Navy chief's protest.
	Yes.
	Ocean saltwater kills and heals most illnesses.
	And the beach is great for mental health.
	Dot, dot, dot.
	All reasons per the governor's guidelines, the beaches should be open.
	Stand up for and demand your rights.
	I like, I like the advocating for mental health awareness.
	You know, I can't really, I can't knock that.
	Um, but I do love this whole idea of like, well, I mean, if we were just all in the ocean, like we probably won't get, get it.
	And if we had it, we'd probably, probably cure it.
	I love, I love somebody just going up to this officer and like grabbing him and submerging his head under the ocean.
	Being like, you got the right idea, sir.
	Let me, allow me.
	Let me help you out.
	Um, no.
	Yeah.
	That's why the Atlantans... Let me take care of the hard part.
	That's why the Atlantans were so advanced.
	Uh, it's cause they understood that ocean water, uh, was like a cure for everything.
	That's why they never got cancer.
	Um, and it was the jealous land dwellers that like nuked them or something.
	Um, yeah, I just, uh, ocean water kills and heals most illnesses and the beach is great for mental health.
	Like the mental health thing, yeah, it's cool that he's acknowledging mental health, but I think it's... Okay, Tony, uh, Tony's gone.
	Alright, that's the episode I guess.
	Skype decided that that was the episode.
	Too late to troubleshoot this stuff.
	So I hope you enjoyed.
	For Patreon subscribers, we have a very special episode this week.
	Brett and Brian are returning.
	Brian for the first time in over a year.
	Two Minion Death Cult to talk about an insane movie about jihadis, about Muslim radicals discovering time travel and using it to go back to kill Christ.
	So that's the movie that we're talking about this week on the Patreon.
	Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	That episode will be out probably Thursday.
	We're going to record it tomorrow.
	I have the day off from work.
	So that's going to be an insanely stupid episode.
	Look forward to it very much.
	You can write to us.
	Contact us at MinionDeathCult on all the social media.
	Support the show.
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	That's it folks.
	Thanks for listening.

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