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March 6, 2020 - Minion Death Cult
05:56
I'd say let's BBQ that muscular runner that would solve several problems (clip)
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So David Harold Grisham, who I follow closely on Facebook, posted this.
From FoxNews.com.
Headline reads, Vegan Runner Asks Neighbors To Close Windows When Cooking Meat With, Quote, Offensive Odor.
Yeah, that's what I would describe that odor as.
So just, nobody really to root for here, in my opinion.
But it's just, you know, it's very funny that offensive is the word that's used here.
As we've talked about on the show, that is a frequent buzzword used to get clicks.
It's a frequent, it's bait.
It's right wing bait, basically.
You don't use the word racist.
You don't use the word bigoted.
You use the word offensive.
Yes.
Because people are little nanny poo-poo pants who can't handle the real world and they get offended when they see anything and everything.
Yep, it's true.
It's funny, when I read this I kind of missed the cooking part and I just assumed that the person happened to be vegan and their neighbor just farted a bunch.
And you know, I respect that.
The vegan farts smelled like meat?
Is that what you're saying?
No, I thought that they were just saying that their neighbors' offensive smells were because of their meat farts.
I guess those kind of smell like meat.
Yeah.
If you haven't had meat in a while.
You can't smell it anymore, but I can.
Hmm.
I think maybe you're just like so deprived of meat that even farts smell good like meat now.
And that's why I'm offended.
Yeah.
It's too tempting.
It's because whenever I smell a fart, I'm like, ooh, a burger sounds good.
So David Harold Grisham had something to say about this post.
He didn't just share this post.
Okay.
David Harold Grisham is like an influencer.
He's a thought leader.
There's a reason he's a big, he's big man on Facebook.
Okay.
David Harold Grisham writes, if this had happened to me, Meaning, like, if a vegan runner had posted online that they... I mean, the vegan runner in the thumbnail is a woman, but I think it's a stock photo.
This photo looks pretty professionally taken.
I don't think we know the gender of the runner.
Everybody's just kind of assuming that it's a female runner.
If this had happened to me, I would have shot a deer, butchered it in the back of my pickup in my driveway, parentheses, yes I've done that before, while they were running past so they could SEE Bambi being slaughtered.
Then I would grill it OUTSIDE while they were running by, parentheses, different day, and offer them...
I'm gonna stretch this out.
This guy's got plans, dude!
As we learned, this guy... I mean, he thinks it through.
Remember when he told us how to infiltrate the Halloween stores?
Remember what he said?
He said to wear like... Don't wear church clothes when you go in there.
No.
It's like when you go in there... Don't wear your DC Talk shirt into the Halloween store.
You have to wear something demonic like a DuckTales t-shirt.
And it's going to be hard, but don't walk around singing Switchfoot songs.
I know you're used to singing Switchfoot songs, but I dare you to keep quiet.
Whatever you do, do not tell people to have a blessed day as you are slipping chick tracks into the witch costume.
Oh, nothing to see here.
Have a blessed- I mean, have a perfectly evil day, ma'am.
The devil's cool.
The devil's real cool, if you ask me.
He's gotta, like, lash himself when he gets home.
He's gotta, like, take off the hair shirt that was underneath the Hot Topic t-shirt.
Yeah, you wear the hair shirt the whole time, and you actually have like, tacks inside of your shoes while you're doing this experiment.
But yeah, I love this plan, like, a different day, and then I'm gonna grill it outside.
Like, what kind of own is that?
Do you usually grill inside?
Well, yeah, you want to keep all that delicious smell to yourself, normally.
Like, you're actually cheating yourself by letting it slip out the window, if you ask me.
Close the window, goddammit!
You're letting all the sweet, sweet smells come out.
Just like, no smoke detectors in this person's house.
That's why he's ever been into this issue is because he doesn't let the smoke out because he wants it all for himself Yeah, okay, so then I would grill it outside while they were running by parentheses different day And I offered them a quote Bambi burger a Bambi burger to eat I Do also like the idea of him like grilling at like 6 o'clock in the morning Like really early in the morning like when they're running.
Oh Yeah, so he's gotta, like, stalk this woman, right?
He's gotta, like, stalk this person, learn their schedule, set up in advance.
He already knows all of his neighbor's schedules, so this part's pretty easy.
I'm picturing him, like, he sees her running by, and he's like, oh fuck, he's, like, flipping the burger, and then he's, like, putting it on a patty, and, like, putting ketchup on it, and then he goes to, like, run next to her to offer her the Bambi burger, and then he just keels over from a heart attack.
From, like, trying to reach his sidewalk in time.
Uh-huh.
And I just love it.
Then I would grill it outside while they were running by different day and I offer them a Bambi burger to eat.
I love it.
I love just how fucking baby brain this is.
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