This week we cover Conservative Grounds, a right-wing coffee shop started by a local grifter/youtube guy in Tampa Bay, Florida. We follow the development of this project, from the construction of the Oval Office replica to him soliciting firearms on facebook. Also, Bernie Sanders encounters Russiagate Vol. 2, and we get our answer as to how libs are going to rationalize his victory against Trump in November. Support these groups if you can: Sex Worker Solidarity Network Sawgrass Community Defense Tampa Bay Food Not Bombs Mutual Aid Disaster Relief Dream Defenders Border Patrol Victims Network Support the show and get weekly bonus episodes at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Red Sparowes - Buildings Began to Stretch Wide
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get yourself.
All their environment, stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
The scourge of liberalism coffee is responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for joining the show.
We have a special episode for you folks today.
We are joined by a special guest, PJ Plastino.
How you doing, buddy?
Pretty good, Alex.
How you doing, Tony?
Good, good.
Very good.
P.J.
is an artist and activist in the Tampa area, is that correct?
Yes, Tampa Bay area, Florida.
Tampa Bay area, Florida.
We're very grateful for you joining the show.
And P.J.
is joining us for a very specific reason, because we are covering the brand new coffee shop, Conservative Grounds.
And this episode is probably going to be titled Conservative Grounds.
AKA the ballad of Cliff Gephardt.
This is number two in our series of weirdo Florida small businessmen who just can't stop posting, have sort of like blended their online personalities with their public business personalities in like the worst way possible.
People familiar with the show will remember McBee that we did with Brett of Street Fight.
I don't remember exactly where in Florida he was.
The Florida clothier who was run out of town by the LGBT mafia as he described them.
This is St.
Petersburg, Florida and it's literally the same area.
The same exact area.
Great.
We're on familiar territory.
Very familiar territory.
It's definitely an area full of passionate entrepreneurs.
That's what I'm going to say about that.
So this was first brought to my attention.
Conservative Grounds, a new conservative coffee shop, was first brought to my attention by Eli David Sadoff.
I gotta give credit to that fellow for posting this in the Minion Death Cult Facebook group.
And it's, you know, it's what it sounds like.
The headline reads, a new right-wing coffee shop called, quote, Conservative Grounds opens in Largo this weekend.
And the thumbnail is of a, uh... Like, you ever seen somebody whose face is frumpy?
Like, they're not, like, overweight or anything, they just got a frumpy face, you know?
Yeah, got the old frump face, for sure.
I know exactly what you mean.
And wraparound sunglasses and a fitted hat, like, pulled all the way down to the eyebrows.
That's just the top half of this thumbnail.
The bottom half is him holding a Star Spangled Assault Rifle.
Yep.
And if you enlarge, if you actually go to the website, go to the article, you can see that his finger is right on the trigger of this rifle.
Ready to go.
Ready to go.
Just good stuff all around.
First of all, Conservative Grounds, as the name of your coffee shop, your conservative coffee shop.
I mean, everybody, I posted this on Twitter, I posted this on Facebook, every person had the same reaction, which is, why isn't it Stand Your Grounds?
Yeah, yeah, it's such a missed opportunity.
Like, Conservative Grounds isn't even a pun.
No.
It's not even a reference to anything.
It's like, I guess it'd be like an area for conservatives, like grounds for conservatives.
But then also, I mean, the thing about this type of man, um, this type of like white guy, the thing is they have ideas, but marketing is not their strong point.
It's just like extremely literal.
You know, it's, it's just like, he did, he didn't, he went a step beyond naming it conservative coffee.
Yeah.
And was just like, no, that's a little too obvious.
I need to name it a conservative grounds.
Well it was it was definitely the one point of just like he found the one thing grounds and it's like I'm going with that that's it boom I mean it just kind of shows like how shallow this depth like like the depth of thought it is like in terms of like just this one thing so surface level grounds coffee grounds grounds like you said where conservatives can hang out You know it's it probably and stand your ground.
So that's the thing he probably thought like oh you stand your ground a conservative oh he probably thought it was all amalgamated together.
Yeah maybe that's that's probably a charitable like description of it.
I my uncharitable description of it is I think he was too much of a coward to name it stand your grounds.
Like I think that's too uh.
Especially where this was located um in where it's located in Largo which is not far outside of Clearwater where There was a very horrific, quote-unquote, stand-your-ground shooting that happened outside of a convenience store, where Marquise McLaughlin was murdered by Michael Draica.
And even the sheriffs here, like Bob Gultieri, literally, I remember hearing the guy's press conference.
The sheriff literally was a defense attorney for the guy.
Like, it's just completely, completely misrepresenting what Mr. McLaughlin was doing.
Saying he body slammed the guy, he didn't.
And then eventually the state stepped in and said, no, no, you're gonna go arrest him.
He murdered this dude.
What happened with the trial?
I didn't hear anything about that.
He did get convicted, I believe.
I'm not sure what his sentencing was.
But, I mean, again, the state attorneys had to step in and basically say, tell Gutierre, no, you have to go arrest him.
There's no stand your ground here.
Like, it's clearly seen on the video.
There's an amazing video pinned to Cliff Geppert's Facebook page, which is called, like, Cliff Geppert Opinionist.
Yeah.
Which is, like, I think a person who has opinions.
I think that's what he's, like, crediting himself as.
And the video is, like, you know, I don't know, subscribe, basically.
But then there's a supercut at the end that is very, like, mid to late 90s Morning Zoo MTV style with, like, wonky camera angles and edits.
And it's just a supercut of him saying things like, Hey, see all these people?
This is where the morons are assembling.
Hey!
Teachers!
What are you doing teaching communism in school?
Cut to like a different angle of him in black and white.
Yo, this biology shit is whack!
So you're saying it was basically like a snuff film?
He was just destroying everybody around him.
He was just really owning him.
Cliff Gephardt.
We're reporting from Washington D.C.
This is what a bunch of losers looks like.
The Second Amendment is vital to the American way of life.
It's liberal nutsness, guys.
And the problem is nobody will stand up and say, Wait a second.
That doesn't make any sense.
Um, Middle Easterners, I would say caliphate this, bitch.
I literally don't want to talk at all about science when it comes to biology and the transgender issue.
I'm at the CNN display in New York City, and this is where their bullshit comes straight out of.
This is the bullshit hall that CNN pumps all their stuff out of.
Uno here!
Keep Jimbo open!
Fill that thing up!
Bears that are Democrats are a destruction to our society.
Parents, it's your fault!
Your fault you're raising a bunch of sissies!
The Muslim way of life is not conducive to America.
Have a great day guys and enjoy the rally!
- Billy, come find me. - Yeah, no, it was more like a Tim and Eric super cut of like really extreme dudes on skateboards.
I would say it's like a really, really bad, like, fan homage attempt at a Steven Crowder video, it sounds like, because it's just almost the same just childish, like, level of humor to it.
But it is like the whole thing of, like, you're just walking on the street and you look at the camera and the camera zooms in on your face, and you're like, hey, I think there should be more people in Gitmo.
S.A.? ?
Some sort of like sound effect or even like, you know, explosion, like swipe to the next thing.
And then you grab the camera and it turns into like a spin wipe into the next frame.
Yeah.
I just, you know, conservative grounds.
There's a lot of ways you could go with it.
But yeah, opening a coffee shop that is conservative and Trump themed, I think you could have just called it Grounds for Divorce.
I'm gonna read a little bit from the article here.
Tampa Bay will soon be home to a coffee shop dedicated to Trump, guns, and conservative values.
Conservative Grounds, which officially opens this weekend, has all your basic coffee and espresso drinks, as well as a replica of the White House's Oval Office, parentheses, complete with cardboard cutouts of the Trumps, Fox News looped on the TVs, and welcoming signs for concealed carry weapons.
According to its Twitter bio, Conservative Grounds is, quote, a place where rational, conservative, moral, God-loving people congregate without the scourge of liberalism.
This alternative to the, quote, typical liberal American coffee establishment, as they say, celebrates its soft opening this Saturday, February 22nd at 13344 66th Street in Largo, Florida.
This is it's just amazing to me because it's like it's an it's an alternative to your liberal coffee shop.
You know, where they have like Starbucks logos on the t-shirt.
Or you know, where they say things like, everyone is welcome here.
What's lame, too, is that I've worked at many coffee shops, some very liberal, some middle-of-the-road, but every single one of those coffee shops has a group of old white men that gets there right when it opens that, like, are just sitting there having these vile, like, awful conversations that are, you know, just chock full of racism and misogyny, and they're at every single coffee shop.
Like, they don't really care about that.
Like, this guy doesn't even go to coffee shops.
He never did.
He just has been reading about this, and sees the scourge that Starbucks is having on, you know, conservative values, and is like, well, maybe I can make some money off that.
Well, and even specifically, because I think it states in the article there that wasn't it the quote-unquote pig cup that set him into the wheels in motion for this?
Yeah, it was the straw that broke the bootlickers back.
Right and and it's again.
It's it that's been debunked.
Yeah, and he still went with it Like that that's the thing that that honestly and especially like when we go I'll go over the some of the stuff with this guy as well But like that's honestly that that's the most amazing thing about these folks.
It's that like it is Clearly in front of them well and yet that postmodern conservatism shit like it for what as innuendo studios you would call it on YouTube like I don't understand it.
Maybe it's such a bit that they're so committed that he's got to keep this character going.
But the idea about a coffee shop is funny to me because it's like, I imagine Tampa Bay is not like Seattle where I go into a coffee shop up here and it has the pronouns of your barista on the wall.
Which is cool and good.
But I imagine there's a lot of coffee shops in Florida that are quote, normal coffee shops.
They're going to be a lot of Cuban coffee shops.
Okay.
Yeah, it's going to be a lot of you.
I mean, Cuban coffee is a coffee here.
Like you said, it's not like you don't see anybody out there with like the liberal quote, unquote, quote, unquote, liberal equivalent of what this would be.
No and I mean you go into a Starbucks and it's like you you walk in there and uh shivers run down your spine knowing that Starbucks has like I don't know pledged to not discriminate in their hiring policies.
Yeah.
You know like what is what is exactly so uh liberal or progressive or communist about uh Starbucks as an institution except that like a lot of young people happen to work there and those young people don't like cops.
Yeah, right.
Well, and and also in the sense to have like, like we were speaking of Starbucks specifically, like, regardless if you know, they're corporate owned, or even if it was the franchise setup, like your fast food restaurants, they all look the fucking same.
Yeah.
And they're built and designed that way.
So it's not like you got all this crazy, socialist Bernie stuff up in the Seattle ones.
And then you got all this like, you know, MAGA Trump stuff going on in like the southern ones or what have you.
They're all They have no hint of politics in any of their stories.
Yeah, I don't even think, like, there's like a gay pride flag in like every business up here in Seattle except Starbucks.
Except Starbucks, yeah.
Yeah, Starbucks doesn't do that.
They like can't.
You know, I mean, they could.
But they don't.
They won't do it.
I posted this on the Facebook page, and PJ, you recognized this guy immediately.
Cliff Geppert.
Yes.
Yes.
So, two years ago, I was a participant in the summer that a lot of the Occupy Ice demonstrations were kicking off.
And I first would be remiss if I did not say rest in power to Sydney Eastman, because if it wasn't for her being the glue that helped bring a lot of people together for this community effort, I would not be talking to you guys about this experience.
We had, like I said, it was a community effort of Food Not Bombs, Sex Workers Solidarity Network, Mutual Aid, Disaster Relief.
What were elements here of Redneck Revolt, which has now become Sawgrass Community Defense and the Coalition of Armed Labor.
And just DSA, as I mentioned, and everybody came together.
We organized a 12-day demonstration.
About halfway through, it was a Sunday afternoon, Cliff showed up with his buddy $2 Juan, as he calls himself.
Wow.
His name is John Tatum.
And they showed up.
He starts setting up the selfie sticks and everything, him and John and so forth.
And they're just like poking around, walking around, chest out, the whole What we got going on here?
You know, that type of energy about them and so forth.
The civilian police department, basically.
Yeah.
I hear him begin his opening as he starts livestreaming.
He's like, oh, we're down here at Loserville.
And I'm like, here we go.
Here it is.
Yep.
Here we go, dude.
Bad faith right off Jump Street.
Look, we've had folks that were Trump supporters and so forth and so on that showed up.
Some were dickheads.
Some were actually, we had a conversation.
So, he starts his thing, starts yelling and ranting at people, like you said, asking those ridiculous, loaded questions.
Why do you like MS-13?
Why do you love, you know, illegal criminals?
Why do you love sex trafficking?
And so forth.
First off, when he said that, the Sex Worker Solidity Network folks, like, just blew up on him at that point.
But it was just a spectacle, and from that point we just treated him as such.
We had musical instruments from accordions and acoustic guitars just going off, you know, just making noise and just disrupting what he was doing.
It was basically him and John just walking up and down the sidewalk where we had strategically placed our demonstration, and just trying to call stuff out, this, that, and the third.
I would just poke fun of him about his podcast, be like, ah, you got, what, five listeners, blah, you know.
What's the name of his podcast?
It was on the Opinionist page.
And so, yeah, yeah, it was a live stream.
It was a Facebook live stream.
I just, sorry, I just love the Opinionist.
I'm going to start a Facebook page called The Thinkist.
It's a place where I go to put all my thoughts and to think things into the internet.
I think that makes you a thinker.
It makes me a thinkist.
Yeah.
A thinkist.
I do it professionally.
I get paid for that shit, okay?
Yeah, that's the difference.
Yes.
A couple of the funny things to pull out was, aside from our one friend with the accordion, and just walking beside him, just blah, blah, blah.
It was hilarious, and just making it look like a cartoon.
Was he playing the theme from Lady and the Tramp?
This is the Night?
That's the song I would play if I had an accordion and if I were trying to make somebody look like a cartoon and it was two homophobic guys, I would play that song and pretend like they were in love with each other.
I think he was, I don't know if it was exactly that track, but it was definitely the music you would enjoy in a night in Paris with a sweetie.
And I think as a request, I think he threw the Italian Trolley song for me.
I think he threw that one in there too.
There's also probably some Arcade Fire in there, maybe some Golgo Bordello.
Yeah, there was a lot of good gypsy style or accordion style.
Are you allowed to say that?
Is that word not a slur if you're talking about a genre of music?
Gypsy punk?
No.
No, very much so.
It's gypsy punk.
I'm just covering our bases here.
I don't want to get cancelled, right?
I don't know any Wanderers, so I won't speak for them.
Romani.
Another person commented on the Facebook post about this guy and his pal.
What's his name?
Two Don Juan?
He's a white guy.
The white guy, his nickname is $2 Juan, and apparently he owns a bait and tackle shop.
Judging by the Facebook page, he owned it at one point in like 2016, but he hasn't posted on that Facebook page since 2017.
I'm not sure if he still owns it.
Um, I think we are actually prohibited, like our leftist values prohibit us from posting a picture of that man because just posting a picture of him would be considered classist.
Yeah.
I don't think we're allowed to show you what he looks like.
It would just be too big of a backlash.
He looks like a live-action Tow Mater from Cars.
Like it's, it's like, it's like impossible what he looks like.
But also has, like, truck-like features.
Somebody on the Facebook page said that those two, Cliff, our main character, and his sidekick, $2 Juan, showed up to a DSA meeting and, like, tried to pretend like they didn't know each other and just caused trouble in the crowd and they just got laughed out of the meeting, basically.
That's awesome.
In essence, what happened with us at the occupation site.
I mean, he...
And it was funny, too, because his equipment kept collapsing on him, and he would blame us for it.
That's awesome.
What do you mean he kept collapsing?
Okay, so it was one of the selfie stick things that they have out there to run your camera.
They're shooting me with the anti-telescoping gun, folks.
It's real.
Okay, so just a couple things before we get into like the chronology of this coffee shop.
You sent me his Gab page, PJ.
And there's not much there, and this is, I think, the first time I've really looked on Gab, because, I mean, Facebook is, like, so awful.
It's just so funny to me, the people who think they need to migrate to Gab in order to be awful.
Like, you're gonna be okay on Facebook, I think.
Yeah.
But the three posts that stuck out to me from Cliff Geppert, the first one says, I was executed by Facebook.
Here I am, Gab.
And then there's some photo that's no longer visible, no longer present.
This is a post from November 6th, 2018.
So right around the midterm elections.
I wonder what he was posting about during the midterm elections when people like AOC were getting elected, when people like Ilhan Omar were getting elected.
I wonder what Cliff said to get kicked off of Facebook, momentarily at least.
And then the second post here, Cliff Geppert says, I have been executed by Facebook.
So here I am, Gab.
Oh man, I love that.
And then there's two more photos that are not visible.
Because Gab apparently doesn't have the server space to hold photos from two years ago.
From a year and a half ago.
And yeah, this is funny.
It's just the meme, I was murdered.
It's just that Reno 911 meme.
I was murdered.
I was murdered by Facebook.
I was dragged into the Facebook marketplace.
My head was put onto a block, onto a Squarespace block, and I was executed.
Then ground into liberal coffee and served in a latte, and that is why we need this coffee shop.
No, it's actually liberalism coffee.
That's actually the adjective we use around these parts, is liberalism coffee.
And then finally, the third post on Gab, Cliff Geppert says, Germans did not bomb Pearl Harbor dot dot dot dot dot dot.
What an awful little post there.
Which I think he's saying, hey, I might be a Nazi, but at least I didn't bomb Pearl Harbor.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like maybe we're being too hard on Nazis.
At least they didn't do the Pearl Harbor.
Okay, so in terms of like the conservative grounds chronology, December 5th, 2019, so just four months, three months ago, Cliff, so like he's already probably got the lease on this place.
He's already started construction on the west wing of the coffee shop.
And he posts on December 5th, 2019.
I need to know what type of coffee you buy and make at home.
Typical American brew or do you make espressos, lattes, or something else?
Please reply in comments.
And then he's posted a stock photo of a cup of coffee.
So what's really great about this, this was kind of like, this post was kind of triggering for me because this is exactly the origin post of this company that I worked for, did consulting for, for about a year.
And I was like going to like head their coffee department and beverage department and like didn't get paid for it at all.
But this was the exact origin post.
I swear, like the same picture.
So you're saying that this is a single origin post for both?
For both conservative grounds and whatever coffee shop you worked for.
Yeah, it's not a blend at all.
I swear, same exact question, what kind of coffee do you consume?
What do you want to see in a coffee shop?
Dog shit post, what the fuck?
Yeah, and then this awful pic.
Hey, if I were hypothetically going to start a coffee company, start a coffee shop, which I already did two months ago, what kind of coffee should I buy?
What kind of coffee should I have?
And that's that whole thing, it's like clearly you don't really care about coffee, because if you did, you're telling me what to drink.
I'm not telling you what I want to drink, you're telling me what you're serving me.
Exactly.
What's your style?
What's your niche?
Like, are you doing Cuban-style coffee?
Are you doing European-style coffee?
Like, are you doing quote-unquote Americano?
You know what I mean?
Like, is it gonna be like your own style of, like, Dunkin'?
Kinda like, yeah, man, we're gonna get you, like, some of the regular shit and the crazy caffeine shit and here you go, go to work and everyone's good and, you know, sugary water and whatnot.
Cause in the creative loathing, yeah, creative loathing?
I can't pronounce it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's the article, Creative Loafing is the company that did the article about this.
It's like an arts entertainment type of, like on the town paper.
And they said in the article too, like the dude doesn't have a menu.
No.
No.
It was a soft opening with no menu.
And it's just like, OK, so he got donuts from vendors and shit?
Like, what are you brewing on, dude?
Well, I just think it's so funny because it's not like-- you know, I drink coffee.
I don't like coffee enough to start a coffee shop.
I've never worked at a coffee shop or, you know, made real coffee or anything like that.
But I think I would know not enough to ask the question, what type of coffee do you make at home, consumer?
Is it American brew or do you make espressos?
Do you make lattes?
Do you make cappuccinos?
Like, I would assume if you had a coffee shop it would have all those things like that's not that's not what people that's not the preference it would be like what type of bean do you like or like what yeah what origin are you yeah exactly it's just it's you like dark stuff light stuff this is like so fucking baby brain it's like me starting uh
You know, I don't know, a bar and saying, hey, what do you drink at home?
Is it liquor?
Is it beer?
Do you drink cider at home?
Let me know in the comments and then I'll put it in my big adult fancy bar that I'm starting.
Yeah, it's so sad.
It's just so simple.
And like I said, what's great about this is it really does magnify that the whole purpose of this is not because you love coffee or because you can't stand going to your coffee shop that's too liberal, but it's because you just want to spite the Starbucks and you want to spite the millennials that are baristas.
Yeah, it's because you know people with too much money.
That's the whole problem behind this.
You just have friends with too much money who are very stupid and willing to give you that money.
Yeah, exactly.
Like I said, I don't have the proof or the connections and so forth, but I can't imagine the state that was the home of King Ratfucker Roger Stone is not going to have this ecosystem here.
I don't know.
all these guys, and it's just interesting 'cause you just see the different layers and the different levels.
It's almost the same like the music game of like, all right, there's the open mic guy, there's the guy doing weekends, there's the guy that's got the feature, there's the guy doing resorts, you know, there's one touring.
And I don't know, I think Cliff is just above open mic.
Like, he might be like a Wednesday, Thursday guy.
Maybe?
Maybe a middle in the stand-up comedy world?
Maybe he's like a middle?
He's gotta drive the headliner everywhere?
I think Cliff is like the guy whose dad owns the bar where the open mic is happening.
Yes.
And he's the host.
Yeah, he's given the MC job.
Like, yeah, you have to deal with the owner's son to get your kind of tryout in front of the... And you know what?
He probably books too.
Yeah.
And in turn, he plays a set at peak time.
Yes.
The hot touring band comes into town.
Guess who gets the prime 10 o'clock, 10 p.m.
slot?
You know what's funny?
The guy who did the open mic at the bar I worked at, he's a real one.
Shout out to him, love him so much.
But he was the guy that ran the open mic, and his band played the peak time, and they would play four songs, and they would always play Bill Withers, and his name was Cliff.
Cliff, yeah.
But he's like the opposite.
Cliff is a very chill dude.
Cliff moved to Hawaii just to chill for the rest of his life.
Dude, Cliff is the kind of guy who's like an old ass hippie dude whose son was in his band.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that's the kind of guy Cliff was.
Cliff ran the PA the few times a couple of my different bands played the open mic and he would like, when I say ran the PA, I mean he would turn on the PA and then walk away and go smoke a joint somewhere.
Yeah, yeah.
Now see, see Gephardt, why can't you be like that cliff?
Why can't you be like the other one?
Another post here is just, it's, it's, he, he captures it, get your Trump swag from the grounds.
So he's like, he's already so confident in the conservative grounds brand that he's shortening it to the grounds here.
Yep.
And he's posted photos of a glass display case Uh, that's being lit up by, I think, a flashlight that he's shining on it.
Uh, that is displaying MAGA hats for sale and American flag lanyards.
It's incredible because, like, this isn't even merch.
This is his own personal collection that he is now selling.
He is selling this shit.
It's not official Donald Trump merch.
I mean, if it is and he's flipping it for a profit, cool, I guess.
Uh, this is insane.
This is like...
It's bootleg stuff.
It's like sub-swapmeet, sub-indoor swapmeet shit.
Like, this glass display case is like horrifying.
It's like existentially horrifying to me because it's just white brick walls around this display case and somebody is shining a flashlight into it and it's just a row of hats and then a row of like lanyards and bumper stickers and uh Everything that doesn't have a beam of light on it is pitch black.
It looks like there's a drain.
Just out of frame of this shot, there is a drain where viscous material can flow through.
You can't even access inside the case.
Because the opening is up against the wall.
Yeah.
I wonder if this was a cabinet from the bait and tackle shop.
Probably, yeah.
You said if it could drain stuff, I mean, you know, I can imagine draining bait fluid.
And then finally, finally, or I guess there's a couple more, but yeah, a pivotal moment, a pivotal piece in this conservative grounds puzzle, Cliff Gephardt Opinionist posts, looking for any broken, all caps, GUNS, except the S is a dollar sign, You might have for display.
Willing to pay for shipping.
Okay.
Cool.
I mean, yeah, usually, usually you have to pay for that for it to be shipped to you.
Listen, if you're not Amazon Prime, I'll pay for shipping, I guess.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know how old, I don't care how old they are or how bad of shape they are in.
Facebook!
I am not buying or soliciting guns on Facebook.
I am trying to acquire broken, unusable firearms for an interior design project at our coffee shop.
Looking for non-functioning guns.
I don't care how old they are.
If you are looking to get rid of a firearm, let me know.
Same thing twice, dude.
And it's a photo of a handgun on a table.
And then we scroll down here to one of the top comments, which was from Rich, who says, working or not, it's still a firearm.
Debbie replies, so what's your point?
Rich says, well, I guess the point is, depending on your state, you can't just, quote, give them away like they are broken crayons.
Here in Pennsylvania, you are still doing a transfer on each one, working or not.
Interesting.
Very interesting, Rich.
I've never heard of this.
Really?
Are you sure?
You sure you can't just solicit broken firearms on Facebook?
And then Cliff, the author, Cliff replies, I do realize that, Rich, but I wanted to phrase this in a way that I could defend myself against Facebook so I wouldn't be put in Facebook jail again.
You are not allowed to buy or sell firearms on Facebook, so I wanted to be clear that I was searching out non-working firearms that were no longer capable of firing and that I was also not paying.
If you think you could accomplish my goals with a better written post, I would appreciate any guidance.
If you were unable to create better verbiage, I would appreciate not creating comments that are not constructive.
Oh boy, irony.
It was only the most constructive comment he could have done.
He was like, not only are you doing it wrong, but this is how you're supposed to do it.
Yeah.
And then I didn't crop it all, but later on he says, I was just like trying to prevent you from going to prison, dude.
Yeah, actual prison.
I was just like, I thought my comment was constructive because I was telling you what you're doing is a federal offense.
Yeah.
It's not just against Facebook policy.
You're not just gonna go to Facebook jail, you might go to real jail.
To actual jail.
But that just kind of shows like just how, how so online this guy lives that the biggest concern is losing Facebook.
Yeah.
You know, nevermind the fact that like, dude, you're going to catch a charge for, you know, interstate federal felonies, you know, firearm felonies or whatever, and lose your right to a gun.
But nah, Facebook better not put his ass on a 30 day ban.
I love, I love the fucking like, this is, this is like fourth, fourth dimensional chess here.
What, what Cliff Gephardt did here.
I don't know how to pronounce this dude's name.
I think he pronounces it Gephardt.
I want to call it Gephardt.
He says he was trying to phrase it in a way so that it wasn't illegal.
Which is, yeah, that's a very good tack.
I admire that tack.
No, the way I was saying it, I wanted to say it in a way that tricked Facebook into thinking what I was doing wasn't illegal.
And one of the ways he tried to do that, I believe, is by putting a dollar sign for the S in guns.
Yeah.
I think he was trying... I think this is like what he thinks hacker leet-speak is.
Uh, if like, you know, instead of a three for an E, he put a dollar sign for the S in guns, uh, because if they don't know that it's the word guns, uh, they can't arrest you for it.
I mean, sure, yeah.
Sure, yeah, gun... Sure, gun is still there in all characters, but...
You know what, Alex?
You're actually kind of, like, I'm having a thought on something with this.
This guy seems to be, when it comes to, like, the conservative outrage trends, in a sense, this guy seems to be, like, eight months behind.
Uh-huh.
Like, all of them.
Because the guns thing with the dollar sign, I think this has, like, a callback to, like you said, of, like, trying to distort it, of, like, oh, we got to hide it in the algorithms and so forth from when the shit went down with YouTube.
And when they were messing with people based upon their the video titles and so forth and so on so of course all the guys that all the quote-unquote thought heroes over there that he's watching he's seen him do this to their their titles and their social media posts and his Senate third so now like he's still maybe kind of doing it In a way, and it's like, dude, it doesn't it doesn't matter.
Like they, the machine finds it and changes it, you know, but he's like, it seems like he's eight months.
Again, the coffee shop with the whole concept behind it.
Like it's a almost last year was that whole pig cup thing.
It was like last summer, wasn't it?
No, it was more recent than that.
It was like three months ago, maybe.
I want to see this gun mural that he's trying to make.
Because right here, looking for any broken guns you might have for a display.
He's talked about how he's going to have a Second Amendment mural, and there's going to be broken guns on display.
And once again, this is just the hyper-literal, like, here, look, this is the thing that triggers you.
It's the gun.
It's the gun on the wall.
He donated the broken gun to the new production of Batman.
And that's where it's being displayed now.
I mean, it's not as meaningful if it's not actually the gun that killed Martha and, I don't know, Clark Wayne.
What is Bruce Wayne's dad's name?
Thomas?
I have no clue.
Thomas Wayne.
Yeah, Thomas and Martha Wayne.
I can't wait to see Batman's night vision goggles that are made out of the opera glasses that his parents used on the night they were killed.
No, but just the idea of having guns on the wall.
Oh, this is that thing we like.
We like the gun.
It would be like putting money on the wall.
Like, hey, as Republicans, we like our money.
We don't want it taxed by the government.
Here's a bunch of money on the wall to show you what we like.
Like, we like guns on the wall.
Doesn't this trigger you?
It's just, once again, the hyper-literal, like, dog-brained, baby-brained, conservative, creative expression.
It's gonna be like those kitschy bars where you write or draw on a dollar bill and put it on the wall.
You just come and draw something on your gun and put that on the wall.
I was gonna say, shout out to the Pegasus Lounge.
Shout out, Pegasus.
This was the first gun we ever made.
Opening this coffee shop.
I just love it.
He's like, have you ever seen the cover for Lord of War?
Like, I want that.
I want that.
It's like Game of Thrones, but it's Game of Guns.
And we just have a bunch of guns on the wall.
It's also, too, a matter of being the outsider, quote-unquote, to Florida.
And even still, it's just like, okay, guns in Florida.
And?
Water's wet.
Guns in Florida.
No shit, dude.
You got a gun.
There's plenty of folks around here that got guns.
Isn't the whole point that you're not unique?
Isn't that kind of the whole thing?
Yeah, it's... But I guess they haven't quite... Something about unique snowflakes or whatever or something, you know, unique like a snowflake.
I guess they haven't quite finished this mural, whatever it is, because I'm sure there will be photos of it.
But we do have a photo, so other than the photos of the close-up donuts, other than the photos of, like, the drip coffee, the only other photos are of, like, a family behind the Oval Office that's... the Oval Office replica that is in this coffee shop.
There is a whole wing of this coffee shop that is just a replica of the Oval Office with cardboard cutouts, cardboard standees of Donald Trump and Melania Trump and a replica of the White House desk, okay?
And this is like roped off, but you're encouraged, I think, to go behind the ropes and take a photo sitting behind the desk.
And we have a photo here of a... It is an adult man sitting behind the Oval Office, the White House desk, with his children around him and a small child coming through.
I don't know, like a cabinet door in the Oval Office desk, you know, a cute photo.
This is insane to me.
This is like an adult man who's like, I'm going to be, I am president today.
Yep.
I'm calling William Barr and I'm telling him to arrest all the Democrats.
That's going to happen.
There's going to be videos of people being all like, oh yeah, arrest Hillary.
Lock her up!
Lock her up!
It's like a conservative Toontown.
Or it's like a conservative Universal Studios where you go and pose with the flux capacitor.
This is the only way you can do a lamer version of one of those Instagram pop-up museums.
like you know the optical illusion museum or like the ice cream museum it's some like museum that serves no purpose does not like you know push art forward or like you know push culture forward it's just a place for you to go take a picture and hashtag it and like you know get them traction of this place it's it's the fucking worst but what i will say though is it it actually at first i was like this isn't like the oval like the oval office but it does it They actually did a really good job.
The floor looks great.
The desk is much closer than I thought it was.
The phone setup and all that?
Is that supposed to be the button or the Bible?
That's probably the Bible right there.
No, I think you're right.
That's the button.
That's the button?
Okay.
I think that's a button, yeah.
One of the photos they posted was of like a, I don't know, 125 year old veteran who got wheeled into the coffee shop and Cliff put a MAGA hat on his head, you know, and they took a picture or whatever.
And people are commenting on it or whatever.
Vicky Smith comments, American flag, heart, American flag, heart, praying hands, American flag.
And then Conservative Grounds replies to Vicky Smith.
Vicky Smith.
Wow!
Beautiful picture, sir.
Thank you for your service and dedication to your fellow countrymen!
Exclamation point.
Dot dot dot.
Smiley face.
Smiley face.
Thumbs up.
Coffee cup.
So an interesting response to Vicki Smith, who was responding herself to the veteran in the photograph.
Lisa Hall Smith says, Thank you, Cliff, for doing this.
It's so sweet of you to give him a hat.
Thank you, sir, for your service.
I'm safe because of you.
Yep.
And Conservative Grounds replies Lisa Hall-Smith.
Beautiful picture, Cliff.
Thank you, sir, for your service!
Exclamation point.
Four dots.
Smiley face, smiley face.
That's awesome.
So, I think whoever operates the Conservative Grounds Facebook page might not know that they were logged into the Conservative Grounds Facebook page when they were telling Conservative Grounds what a great picture it was.
Yep, yep.
I think you're absolutely right.
That's so good.
Like I've done so many times.
Vicky Smith, wow, beautiful picture, sir.
Thank you for your service.
It's just so bumbling.
What are you saying, Alex?
You think it's maybe some sock puppet action?
I think maybe Conservative Grounds is trying to do sock puppets, but technically they're not doing anything untoward because they are not actually capable of doing a sock puppet.
They're missing it, yeah.
They want to, they just can't pull it off.
They cut off on a technicality.
So close.
Alright, thanks so much PJ for joining us for this segment.
We really appreciate your first-hand insight into this.
Is there anything you want to shout out or plug at the end of this segment?
Well, first, thanks to both you guys.
I know it can be long-winded.
I appreciate your patience as we got through this.
But really, I just want to say to everybody, please check out Sex Worker Solidarity Network, Mutual Aid Disaster Relief, Sawgrass Community Defense, Coalition of Armed Labor, Tampa Food Not Bombs, Dream Defenders.
There's, like I said, a lot of great folks down here that have been doing work for years, and they would really appreciate your support.
You can find them all over the social media and so forth.
Cool.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Of course.
Keep doing what you're doing.
I found you all on Facebook just randomly, I think, through the Gun People Who Ate Gun People page.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I've loved this show ever since.
It's definitely been in the diet along with the other ones.
Thank you very much.
Keep commenting on the Facebook page.
Your insights are always a pleasure.
And go ahead and send us links to those organizations you shouted out, and we will put them in the description for this episode.
I will do.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Thanks, PJ.
Thanks again.
Yeah, alright, so for the second half of this episode, we are briefly going to be talking about Russiagate V2.
Russiagate Mark 2, okay?
It's probably going to be just better and more effective than even the first time.
I mean, Terminator was a good movie, but I think we can all agree that T2 topped that.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Most people, when they're thinking about Terminator, they're actually thinking about Terminator 2.
It's kind of like a Mandela effect, but a Terminator 2 effect.
Yeah, I mean, same thing with Spy Kids.
Same thing with Caddyshack.
These were all monumentally successful sequels.
And yeah, the Bernie Sanders is controlled by Russia and being helped by Putin is just going to be like...
What we think of when we think of Russiagate because we're going to be thinking of Russiagate for a long time.
I'm sure it's going to just have a lot of staying power and it's never going to get like cast aside for real news at any point.
No, no, this is pretty, um, this is going to stick.
I mean, this is really thorough stuff.
This is kind of undeniable.
Yeah, this is going to be huge.
This is going to change the whole game.
I want to talk generally about Russiagate V2.
Russiagate the Squeakquel.
But I think, like, the best way to get into it is with this meme.
Yeah, so it was leaked to the Washington Post the night before the Nevada caucus that Russia is, quote, helping Bernie, or Russia, quote, wants to help Bernie.
And Bernie then confirmed it, I suppose, and said, you know, he denounced the help or whatever.
So the headlines, that was the Washington Post headline.
Every other headline I saw was, Bernie Sanders told Russia wants to help him.
That was the headline because Bernie Sanders confirmed that he was briefed that Russia was aiming to help his candidacy.
So that's the only bit of this that's actually been confirmed by like an on-the-record source which is Bernie Sanders.
I think maybe the Trump administration has like confirmed it to a degree But all the other reporting is like, well, well, well.
Looks like Bernie was told that Russia wanted to help him.
Oh my.
So damning.
So damning.
Caught red-handed.
Caught red-handed being told that Russia did something.
Yeah.
You can't stop that.
You can't be like, wait, wait, no, no, don't tell me anything.
Don't spoilers it.
Don't spoilers it.
I love that.
Just like a drive-by telling.
The Washington Post is going to plant somebody in a crowd to tell Bernie Sanders Uh, that he's a communist.
That he's a Soviet communist.
And the headline is gonna read, Bernie Sanders told he is a Soviet communist.
And Bernie's like, well yeah, that's true.
That's absolutely true.
That was told to me.
Yeah because like when we were talking about this I was like oh yeah are they trying to weaponize those you know videos of him celebrating with fellow comrades like singing you know like labor songs in Russia and those like really cool videos from like what like the 80s right?
Yeah yeah.
I thought that's what they were going to be talking about but it's not even that like that If they wanted to, you know, scare some squares, that would be the way to go.
But they're not even doing that.
Well, they will do that.
They will do that.
This is the newest, like, development in Bernie Sanders as a communist.
It's definitely the weakest development in Bernie Sanders as a communist because, I mean, Any cursory glance at this is like, well, yeah, Putin's an oligarch.
He's a capitalist oligarch.
Like, you know, the USSR has been disbanded for a while now.
They're not communist anymore.
And you tell BoomerLibs this, and they laugh at you like you're stupid.
You're like, well, I mean, yeah, OK.
You're like, no, they would have to change the name of the country if that was true.
Yeah, so Mary.
Yeah, I mean, it was a lot of countries.
Mary E. Marshall posted into Joe Biden 2020, thinky face, so Bernie knew that Putin was helping him win his primaries, dot, dot, dot.
Interesting, isn't it?
Eight question marks.
Eyeglass emoji.
What does that mean?
That, like, makes it real?
Because, like, you know, they're kind of a nerd, so I guess it makes it real?
It's the looking closely.
I mean, it's like, I think that emoji might get misused.
I had to put my readers on.
That's what it means for the old.
That's a pair of readers, you know?
I think, yeah, it's like, people think it's like a jeweler's lens.
You know, like a little magnifying glass for your eye or whatever.
I think it's just like scrutiny.
I think that's what it means.
Because the emoji has the one eyebrow raised.
It just symbolizes scrutiny, I think.
And I just love this.
I love this so much because, yeah, everything that I've read.
I haven't read too much about this because I literally do not give a shit except for how funny it is.
The source claims that Russia wants to help Bernie Sanders.
And it's like, okay, what does that mean?
They're gonna run more Facebook ads?
What does that mean?
They're going to tell a news reporter that they want to help Bernie Sanders?
It just reminds me of Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger.
That line where he says, I want to publish zines and rage against machines.
And it's like, well, do it, man.
Like, what are you singing about wanting to do that?
It's like, that's the whole point of doing a zine.
It's DIY, man.
Just do it.
Man, it would be so tight if I did some DIY shit.
You ever want to do some do-it-yourself shit?
I wish it was possible.
But that's what I think...
I remember going to buy that album, and they were like, oh no, this is the only good song on the album.
Don't do it.
The warehouse employee saying, it's not a good one.
Don't do this.
And I didn't.
I listened to them.
I remember when I went to buy the Red Sparrows debut album, and the guy at Mad Platter was like, oh, you should buy this Grails album instead.
And I'm like, well, I mean, I'll go home and listen to the Grails album.
Thanks for the recommendation, but I still definitely want this Red Sparrows album.
Like, Red Sparrows didn't have a single on the radio or anything.
He was just being like, pfft.
Red Sparrows is, like, poser post-rock.
You should listen to, like, real, like, junkie post-rock.
You should get Blacktar Prophecies instead.
Stuff that's only better because it's earlier.
I mean, I guess.
I don't know when Grails came out.
I think they're still early 2000s.
I don't know when Grails came out.
I think they're still early 2000s.
They may be 99.
Anyway, the point is that Red Sparrows is a good band, and I will not hear otherwise from anybody, including a vinyl store clerk who would...
You know, it's these guys, like, I'm surprised he even left the Grails albums out for us plebs to purchase.
If he's anything like our friend Travis Ducey, who used to work there, he would hide all the good records behind the counter and buy them for himself.
So fuck that guy.
Yeah, real ones now.
That's what I say.
No.
I shouldn't be able to buy the girls album.
You should already have it.
I shouldn't be able to get it myself.
You should have the only copy.
So this is like Russia being posers.
Oh yeah, man.
They're being like stoners.
They're like, oh yeah, we totally want to help Bernie Sanders in the primary, bro.
We're totally gonna go out and do that.
And, you know, all these liberals are like shrieking and shitting their pants.
And it's funny because that is already a meaningless statement, right?
You already have to be like, and even if it was, we are currently helping Bernie Sanders.
That's still a pretty meaningless statement.
But Mary E. Marshall heard that.
She saw a meme about it or read about it.
And she, this is her translation of it.
So Bernie knew that Putin was helping him win his primaries.
Dot dot dot.
Interesting, isn't it?
Yeah.
And so she converted that.
She put the doubly ambiguous statement into her brain, converted it into something extremely concrete that Putin had helped him win his primaries, and then after that came up with, isn't that interesting?
It's like, well, that's more than interesting at this point.
That's more than suggestive.
You said, like, he's a traitor.
Anyway, it's weird.
It's so weird.
So she posted this meme along with this very interesting suggestion.
And the meme is, like, oh, it's beautiful.
How do I describe this?
So it's an image, it's a full screen image, red filter over a Bernie Sanders photograph where he's like raising his fist in triumph.
Yeah.
Red filter over that in the shape of the Soviet flag, okay?
So it's got the hammer and sickle and yellow over it as well.
The red tint is over the photograph, but then the edges of the quote flag are like burnt black.
So it looks like an old goth meme.
Like it looks like an old, like, where it would be like the gothica font in the center that says something about, you know, the voices in my head don't like you, or I'm bipolar and both personalities are really angry.
And then there's text on top of that.
There's three different fonts in this text and the top text it's like this outline chalkboard font.
Totally.
It's like shadow box letters but like with chalk font.
And it says, all caps, Bernie has been receiving help from Russia.
First line of bottom text, same chalkboard font.
That's why he's ahead in the polls.
Second line of the bottom text, which is now a completely different font.
Yeah.
Also in white, though.
He is an opportunist, space, dot, dot, dot.
He is dishonest.
Third and final line of bottom text in dark blue, larger font.
Don't trust Bernie!
Two exclamation points.
Yeah, that, that, like, design is not these people's strong front, like, strong point.
Like, this is just, it's hard to look at.
But it is their passion.
It looks like a meme that we would make to make fun of their meme.
Like, it looks like we're, like, we would make an ironic meme to look like this, but that's just how they do it.
That's just how they roll.
And it's not, it's even less effective, because what are the, what are the colors in this?
Red, white, and blue.
Red, white, and blue, yeah.
Now I think Bernie, now my subconscious is telling me that Bernie's actually patriotic, and that's bad for me personally.
That's not, yeah, that's making me feel weird.
First SESTA-FOSTA, now patriotism, I don't, I'm not with it.
Yeah, okay, so broadly speaking about this, about this phenomenon, Russiagate, I have been on record saying it's going to be so delicious when Bernie Sanders beats the candidate that Hillary lost to.
Right?
Yeah, I remember you saying, like, uh, specifically how yummy it was gonna be.
It's gonna be delicious.
It's gonna be tasty.
Yeah.
Um, and it was just because I imagined how, like, how hard it was gonna hit these people who swore up and down that Hillary was the most qualified candidate ever, the best candidate.
Not only was she, like, the best person, not only was she the most qualified person, she was also just, like, The most effective politician, the most effective at being a politician, which is just, I mean, demonstrably false.
We saw the evidence.
But the way that they rectified that in their mind was both Bernie Sanders ruined it for her and Russia ruined it for her, right?
Yeah, exactly.
So I was like, of the mind, well it's going to be hilarious when Bernie is able to pull it off.
How are they going to rectify that the guy that they fucking hate beat Hillary, basically, at her own game?
You know, did the same test as Hillary and passed.
And this is the answer.
We have the answer right here.
They're just going to do Russiagate again, but for Bernie, and it was good for Bernie.
Yes, yeah, exactly.
And I love how, like, this narrative is the same people who rocked with Trump Heavy, Russia, are like, you know what?
This guy is a comrade.
Let's Let's go ahead and get him on board.
Let's go ahead and help him out.
Let's talk about helping him out.
Because when Russia helped out Trump, that's like... Because Russia's bad guy.
Trump is bad guy.
Bad guy helps out bad guy.
But now bad guy's helping out other bad guy who's the antithesis of the original one.
You know, of Trump.
You can't deny that...
Bernie is the antithesis of Trump, even if you don't like him.
Well, that's, I mean, that's one of the criticisms of Bernie.
I mean, it's completely irrational, but they think, oh, because he's loud and because he's a popular figure, because people actually like him.
Well, that's dangerous.
That's like Trump.
I mean, that's like, you know, people like Trump a lot.
And I mean, it's a warning sign if you ask me.
And you know what?
I don't want to be a racist, but Russians love charisma.
That's true.
They do.
And it's unfair for those of us who don't have it.
And I've seen multiple pictures of Bernie squatting.
Hitting a strong slob squat.
So yeah, they're just going to say that Russia did it again.
When Bernie wins, they're going to say, oh, it's because Russia likes, uh, Russia hates women, but they love Bernie.
Like, that's going to be it.
And that's how they're going to rationalize it.
Um, and it's just funny because like, Where is this coming from?
So this was leaked to the Washington Post, obviously meant to damage Bernie.
Is this being leaked by Trump officials?
By people in the Trump administration who know that it would, you know, be, I don't know, bad press for Bernie, let's just say.
I don't know how damaging it's going to be.
But they'll just know that it would be bad press for Bernie.
Or is it being leaked by somebody who knows somebody in the administration or whatever and is still... Bloomberg?
Say it?
Bloomberg?
Bloomberg?
Yeah.
And just wants to damage Bernie in the primary to get a different Democrat in there.
You know, somebody who's more favorable.
Because the only reason I ask is because who thinks that this is going to work?
If it's Democrats thinking that this will work against Bernie, well that's hilarious.
Because, what did they say about Trump?
That Putin wanted him to- Yeah.
Fucking Trump went on stage and said, hey Putin, help me out here.
Get Hillary's emails.
And, you know, Hillary was like, oh, yes, foreign collusion, hell yeah, you know, rubbing her palms together like Birdman.
Let's get him.
And it just fell on her face.
It didn't work.
You know what I mean?
And it would be hilarious if the Democrats think that this is going to work against Bernie.
If it's the Trump administration, then it's more strategic because he's trying to sow division within the Democratic Party.
Maybe that happens a little bit.
Maybe it makes people even more pissed off at Bernie or whatever.
Maybe it keeps people from coming out at all on the Democratic side if they think it's being rigged.
We've talked about the idea of saying that the reason why Russia supports Bernie is because they want the weakest candidate to go up against Trump.
That's the liberal rationale.
And they might think that Russia's the weakest candidate.
But that's like the lib take.
But it's still all just so fucking stupid.
Because they could have at least fabricated more with it, you know?
They could have, I don't know, even worded it better.
But like you said, the way it's all phrased is like...
Bernie was told.
They could have been multiple communications that Russia wants to assist Bernie Sanders in the victory.
That sounds like something's happening even though it doesn't really incriminate Bernie, but it makes him look bad still.
It's also weak.
It's also weak and lame and stupid.
But I guess it's early.
But it's not early anymore.
It's not.
We're getting pretty grimy right now.
And it's completely dog-brained because you tell people Okay, even if this is real, even if intelligence agencies, like, really said this to the Washington Post, why would I believe, why would I trust them?
Like, why would I, I mean, they're not, if they had concrete evidence, if they had a cable from Russia that said blah blah blah, we like Bernie or whatever, that would have been in the piece.
But yeah, I don't like I don't think they have anything and even if Russia did want to help Bernie Okay, whatever like they're gonna like I said, they're gonna Russia wanted to Russia put like pro Black Lives Matter ads on Facebook because they knew it would piss people off Does that mean I don't like Black Lives Matter anymore?
You know, does that mean Black Lives Matter is bad now?
It's just, it's stupid, but you try to tell people like, hey, maybe our intelligence agencies can't exactly be trusted like 100% and then they tell you that you're a MAGA person.
They tell you that you're a Trump guy because you're questioning the intelligence agencies and you're like, no, no, no, no.
Like, I think it's cool and funny that the FBI investigated Trump.
Like, I think that's fine and good.
They should have.
But also, I don't trust the FBI.
Ask the Black Panthers if they trust the FBI.
And I've been not trusting the FBI like my entire life.
That's one of my one through lines is never trusting the FBI.
These MAGA chumps, they fuck with it.
This is new.
This is new for them.
they can do with like these MAGA chumps they're like they they've like they fuck with it this is new this is new for them you know it's like I I've been doing this since since the jump yeah and I was and and they're like this one guy specifically was like oh your tinfoil hat is showing or Are the aliens coming to abduct you?
And I'm like, dude, read any respected history about the FBI or the CIA.
You're really showing your ass, your total ass, if you're not willing to admit that the CIA has been a nefarious organization.
Yeah, because even the CIA will say, like, yeah, we did it, but we had to do it for reasons.
But they will admit to the awful things they've done.
You know, like, there are, we said, multiple records and documents and the history of the CIA is that of, you know, U.S.
interference in, like, different governments and, you know, assassinations and even, you know, things like Yeah.
That's all documented.
listening to every single conversation that Martin Luther King Jr. had up until his death and then actually killing him themselves.
I mean, yeah, trying to blackmail him, trying to get him to commit suicide.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all documented.
That's all.
These are not people that anybody should like.
Yeah, but so, in this meme, Bernie has been receiving help from Russia.
That's why he's ahead in the polls.
So, there you go.
That's how they're rash.
This whole Russiagate thing, like we talk about copes, like how people cope with Bernie's victories.
How people cope with Bernie's popularity.
And there's a lot of ways you can cope with it.
This is the ultimate cope.
Russiagate is the ultimate cope.
He's only winning because of Russian collusion.
It's the ultimate cope.
And that makes him even more like Trump.
You know what I mean?
He's not a broadly popular figure.
You can't go outside and see Bernie signs.
You can't talk to people and they'll tell you they like Bernie.
It's all a big joke.
It's all a big farce orchestrated by Putin himself.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all fabrication.
So, a couple comments on this that are just, boy, fuck.
Incredible.
David Smith says, Honestly, I think they need to redo the first three states again.
I think we should call on them to have them redo the first states again and take Bernie off of ballot.
Which is the worst, like up until then it's like, that would only backfire.
Like if they were to redo the ballot, redo it all right now, that would only backfire.
But yeah, if you take Bernie off the ballot, of course he can't win, he's off the ballot.
But because Russia said, Russia said, oh yeah we're gonna help him out, and he said nothing, he knew nothing about it, he just was told they did that.
That's worth like, that's like, you know, you know the Astros didn't cheat.
I just told them that I wouldn't mind helping them cheat.
Yeah.
You know?
But I guess nothing happened to them either, so it's a bad example.
But you get what I mean.
This is insane, though.
Postpone the... So, I am so afraid of, like, Russia intervening in our democracy that I think we should just stop doing the democracy thing.
We need to stop doing it till we can figure out what's going on.
And it's like, who would decide to do this?
Could the DNC even decide to do this?
Isn't it like...
Isn't it, like, law that those primaries happened on that date?
Like, I don't know how that works.
I don't know how that's organized.
But you would think it's, like, pretty set in stone.
It has to be by, like, voting laws.
Yeah.
Like, what days the voting is happening, how it's going to happen.
And so you're essentially asking for, like, President Trump to override the Democratic primary because you're worried about Putin.
Which is like, why would he ever do that?
Why would Trump ever do that?
He would love to do that.
Are you kidding me?
He would love to do that.
Just to fuck everything up!
Just to fuck everything up, yeah.
Just to really throw a wrench in the spokes.
But this is like, how fucking psycho you are because of Russia.
This is how like, this is how fucked up your brain is thanks to Rachel Maddow.
Like, you're just like, no.
Like, we need, it's the Muslim ban, but for democracy itself.
We need to stop doing this thing until we can figure out what's going on.
And by this thing, I mean democracy.
Also, just take Bernie off the ballot.
This is one of the most profoundly undemocratic things in these liberal groups.
I think the only more undemocratic thing I've seen is like, oh, red states shouldn't be allowed to vote, period.
That's like the only thing.
But yeah, let's take the leading candidate off the ballot because I'm afraid of Putin.
Because fuck the people.
Do you remember when Trump was running and all this Russia stuff was coming out, and he was being very on the face about Russia and his relationship with Putin, and people would be like, well, maybe it's not a bad idea to have a good relationship with Russia.
Do you remember that talking point?
Well, maybe it's good to have someone in the office who can talk to Russia.
You know, the country that we've been fearing that would bomb us since forever?
That was, I mean, that was the conservative rationalization.
Libs were always like, oh, he's cozying up with dictators or whatever.
Like they do that with, you know, North, they did that with North Korea.
Like, um, whereas like people on the left are like, no, yeah, it's good.
Like we don't have, we, we put less sanctions on other countries or whatever.
Um, and try to have like a diplomatic relationship.
So we think that's actually kind of good to like not bomb each other.
Um, Yeah, it's a good thing to do.
David Smith replied to himself.
Remember, he wants the primary to be shut down.
Anonymous, are you hearing?
Shut down Russia's grid.
Shut down their ability to use the internet in America.
You hear this Anonymous?
Anonymous, please save us.
Please Anonymous, save us.
I love that so much.
Listen, now's your time to save the country.
We need you to stand up.
Anonymous, we are calling on you to do what is right and stop this Democratic primary.
Yeah, we need you to hack into it so bad that you go back and get them off the ballot and reset time and do it from the jump.
I mean, this is like one of the most obvious results or one of the most like...
What do you call it?
Like, extreme outgrowths of the Russiagate fearmongering.
You know, we've said that it's akin to a Red Scare, even though Russia's not red anymore.
It's still pretty racist.
It's still pretty fearmongery.
It's very fearmongery.
But this is like, no, Russians shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.
Like, we shouldn't allow Russia to use the internet at all, because I'm so fucking scared of Putin.
Which I cannot get behind.
My favorite content comes from Russia.
Some of the best shit on the internet comes from Russia.
No more Russian dashcams, are you kidding me?
Yellow vest time.
That's crucial.
If I can't see a three-wheeled tractor being held together with rope on the freeway, yellow vest time.
Yeah, it's time to fucking start some shit.
If I can't see a horse in the backseat of a convertible, I'm throwing a Molotov cocktail through a Starbucks window.
Yeah, if I can't see some kid jump off a 12-story building into a pile of snow on just a hope and a prayer, then I don't want to live here.
I don't want this America.
We need to burn it all down.
If I can't see a guy riding a... What is that thing he's riding?
Is it like a weed whacker?
It's like... He's spinning in a circle just riding a weed whacker?
If I can't see that shit, what is the point?
Yeah, it's not cool.
Yeah, so another thing that I wanted to talk about is, you know, the Russia fear-mongering.
The Putin fear-mongering, right?
A lot of people have said that it's the liberal QAnon.
A lot of people have said that.
I think we've said that on this show.
There are very striking similarities between those two.
Especially with the Robert Mueller.
When Robert Mueller was still in the picture, that's when it was very QAnon.
Because Robert Mueller was the liberal Trump.
Robert Mueller was the guy who was going to fix everything.
The guy who had secret plans in motion to arrest all the people you hated.
That was much more like the liberal QAnon.
But broadly speaking, this conspiracy in general, I think, more mimics the George Soros conspiracy.
I think.
Yeah, these are Moscow drops.
Russiagate is an anti-Semitic George Soros conspiracy theory for libs, where Putin is George Soros.
Because that is how these people act.
It is one man pulling the strings.
He has an, he has like an interconnected web where he is, he's like the, uh, he's like that bad guy in, uh, you know, uh, Sherlock Holmes, Moriarty.
He's like the guy who is behind everything, pulling all the strings and he's just too smart and he's too powerful and you can't trust anybody, even the most popular Democrat, because he's probably being controlled by Putin.
Yes, I fervently agree, because I'm totally familiar with Sherlock Holmes.
You know what I mean.
It's just like... I get it, I get it.
I just don't know Sherlock Holmes, but I understand.
Who's the biggest villain in skateboarding?
That's actually a really good question.
Maybe it's Nike.
Who knows?
It might be Nike.
Yeah, well, you need a single figurehead, preferably of, like, an Asiatic race.
Uh, an Asiatic or a, uh, um...
Hasidic race.
Todd Falcon.
What?
Todd Falcon is actually the mastermind behind everything that is bad in skateboarding.
Okay.
When you're done with this, look up Todd Falcon on YouTube.
Alright.
He's done more tricks than anybody ever.
Okay.
He's a fucking legend.
That sounds shifty.
Somebody who does that many tricks.
He definitely has like some His skate videos look like they came out of Russia.
Let's put it that way.
I can't trust a guy who pulls that many tricks.
Yeah.
Also, Todd Falcon.
Okay.
Tony Hawk.
Oh, wow.
He's up to something here.
He's the Nega Hawk.
Yeah.
Yeah, Todd Falcon is definitely the overlord of the dark spaces of skateboarding.
But no, it's just, it's like bordering on racist.
I mean, it is racist, you know, and it's racist, but it's also like fucking hysterical and pathetic.
You're like, Shivering in your in your britches about Putin like as if I Don't know as as if he himself is like Entering your subconscious through the TV through the internet and you can't even trust your own mind anymore Like it's yeah, it's fucking sad man.
It's like extremely sad Russia has incepted all of us there's a There's another meme that I saw and it's black background and it's got Bernie Sanders like floating head.
It's technically like a circle of his head cut out but the background behind Bernie's head in the circle is also black and he's wearing a black jacket so it just looks like his head is floating in the middle of this meme.
It's pretty funny.
Bernie Sanders, all caps, red font.
Underneath that white font.
Never owned a business.
Never invented anything.
Never had a nine-to-five job.
Never proposed a single bill that passed.
Parentheses.
25 years in office.
Lived off welfare before he was elected to office.
Back to the red font.
74 years old.
74 years old, net worth $300,000.
Back to the white font.
Says he can fix healthcare and the economy.
Yellow font.
Wants to be president?
Red font.
Just like his hero Karl Marx.
Line break.
Dot dot dot.
Space.
Succeeded at nothing.
Period.
What?
Been in politics for 25 years.
Way longer than that, by the way.
There's so much wrong with this.
It's like every other line is wrong.
Every line is almost wrong.
But also, like, having $300,000 net worth and never doing anything with your life?
That's success.
That's pretty great.
Well, so I want to go top to bottom here.
Never owned a business.
That's just a funny own because it's like, yeah, good.
I'm sorry.
Good.
That's fine.
That's not a requisite in my mind for being a political figure.
I don't know man, like you mentioned, you had a clothing company in junior high.
I was part owner of a clothing company in high school.
We've both owned businesses.
But I also don't think I should be president.
If he's never done it... See, but maybe the problem is that I think he should be president and I'm kind of like Russia.
Yeah, well I think you're either a Russian or you're a bootlicker and I'm not sure which is worse.
That's true.
Um, never invented anything is probably my favorite critique here.
Oh yeah?
What did you invent?
I mean, nothing.
Yeah, I figured.
Just looking at you, I could kind of tell.
I could kind of tell you never invented anything.
This guy's just really into George Washington Carver, which we didn't expect.
He's a real, like, Benjamin Franklin.
He's all, wow, you never even took trips to Paris to fuck Parisian women.
Yeah.
Oh, this guy's never once electrocuted an elephant.
Never done it.
Yeah, incredible.
Never had a 9-to-5 job.
That's not accurate.
Never proposed a single bill that passed.
Also inaccurate.
Parentheses, 25 years in office.
Also inaccurate.
Incredibly.
Lived off welfare before he was elected to office.
Maybe, I don't know.
That's cool.
Good for him.
I'm fine with that.
Sure.
74 years old.
Net worth $300,000.
This is also very funny to me because This is what shows you that it's an old meme.
It's a meme from when he was running against Hillary.
So this is like a pro-Hillary, anti-Bernie meme.
Wow, I didn't even think about that.
Yes.
And they're making fun of him for only being worth $300,000 despite being 74 years old and having been in office 25 years.
Wow.
Um, and they still posted this now.
I got this meme like two days ago.
So, now the criticism is that he's worth too much.
Before, he wasn't worth anything.
Like, only $300,000.
Jesus Christ.
Can you imagine?
I'd fucking die of embarrassment.
What a loser.
Forget about a lack of healthcare.
I'd die from being so embarrassed and owned by the economy.
I got $300,000 around my neck right now.
I'm talking to you... Between my neck and my wrists and my fingers, I got $300,000 on me right now.
I'm talking to you on a phone of $300,000 bills.
Oof.
$300,000 bills.
Oof.
Oof. Oof.
And you coming through clear, baby?
Uh, yeah.
Wants to be president just like his hero.
Karl Marx succeeded at nothing.
You know how we don't know who Karl Marx is because he was a massive failure?
Yeah, I was like, who?
What?
I guess he's some guy who Bernie liked.
I've never heard of him though.
I'm sure he's had no impact on the world whatsoever.
It's because he's never invented anything.
Probably not.
I love that.
Okay, last comment here.
Maggie Wells says, Bernie is not blue.
Period.
Space space space.
Bernie is being helped by Russia.
Period.
Space space space.
And the GOP.
Period.
Space, space, space, space, space.
He's literally space, space, running space, space, against Dems.
Period.
Space, space.
Against me!
Period.
Space, space, space.
And very elected Dem!
Period.
Space, space, space, space.
No!
Period.
Space, space.
I will not, space, space, vote for, space, space, him!
Period.
He's a Kremlin tool!
Period.
Space.
Vote Blue no matter who is pro Bernie propaganda.
Period.
Space.
Space.
So.
Space.
Space.
Shut.
Space.
Space.
Up.
Period.
Damn.
That's...
Wait, she said that she's a democratically elected, like a Democrat in office?
No, she is a Democrat.
So he's symbolically running against her because he's not a Democrat.
And he has the audacity to run against Democrats.
Can you imagine that?
Unlike the other Democrats who would never do that.
Can you imagine a Democrat running against other Democrats during a primary?
I can't.
I don't think it's legal.
I think you can only do that with the help of Russia.
Well, it's like we said a couple weeks ago.
It is the most divisive thing you can do is to vote for Bernie because you're taking away a vote from another Democrat.
And I mean, I guess we were wrong.
The most divisive thing you can do is actually run against another Democrat.
Yeah, he's literally running against Dems, against me.
Whatever you do to the least of the primary candidates, you also do to me.
Is I think that biblical statement.
Uh, no, I will not vote for him.
He's a Kremlin tool.
Oh, another thing I was going to say is with these people who are saying like, you know, who are coping away Bernie's success and his popularity or whatever, there's nothing you can say to these people.
Yeah.
Like you just make fun of them.
Like the, if you're in public, maybe if you're like on Twitter, like maybe don't be too mean to them so that other people see it and like, you know, don't like you or whatever.
But there is no rationalizing with these people.
These people found their way out of acknowledging Bernie's popularity, and this is it.
And they're gonna cling to it like a lifeline until he wins the general.
Long after.
Long after that.
Yeah.
It's just, these people were never gettable to begin with, and they got handed some, like, uh... They got handed the Kool-Aid, basically.
The final Kool-Aid to solidify their...
To solidify their fate, basically.
How cringe is, like, the anti-Bernie protest after he wins gonna be that's gonna be nothing but, like, Hillary stans?
Yeah.
That's gonna be the cringiest protest of all time, and it's going to happen for sure.
There's gonna be, like, a march of women on Washington of, like, 35 people, um, all with OG pussy hats, um, all with very white skin, and, um, they're going to, like, they're gonna really show him Who's boss.
And I also love, now that Bernie is winning, Vote Blue No Matter Who is pro-Bernie propaganda.
That is the final turn of this, like, development.
That is amazing.
That is beautiful.
That is, it's like, it's serendipitous.
It is, like, narratively It's like complete.
It's like complete in my heart that this happened.
You couldn't write something better than this.
No.
Now, Vote Blue No Matter Who, which used to be, do not have a preference for Bernie during the primary because that's divisive.
now we are rejecting vote blue no matter who because it's pro-Bernie propaganda which is like kind of refreshing because like that's whenever i have these conversations with people who are kind of like you know like fence sitters they're a little bit not sure um they're like well what if he doesn't win like you know you got to vote blue no matter who and i'm always like tentatively like well i don't know i'm
I think he does have enough, like, support through, like, a third party to where I think that we could actually do something with him even if he doesn't win the primary.
And they look at me all crazy.
And I'm like, okay, I kind of understand why you're looking at me crazy.
But now I can just tell them, no, no, no.
That's just anti-Bernie propaganda.
See?
You got it all wrong.
Uh-huh.
So you're not going to tell them to vote Blue no matter who anymore?
I'm officially going to stop doing that.
I've never done that.
No, I'm saying you should start now.
Now that it is pro-Bernie propaganda, you should start telling people that.
This is now when we become gracious in victory.
We become magnanimous in victory.
Oh yeah.
Do what you want!
No, not even do it.
No, no, no, no.
Not do whatever you want.
No, no, no.
You have a duty.
No matter who is the candidate who comes out in November, you have a duty.
You have an honor-bound duty to vote for them.
And we just know that it's going to be Bernie in the back of our heads, and that's why we're saying it.
And they know that it's going to be Bernie in the back of their heads, and they're just steaming at the possibility that they will have to do that.
I'm waiting, I know there's going to be, um, like, I don't like this joke anymore, nevermind, sorry.
Okay, alright, what a great finale for the episode.
What a climax to go out on, a joke not told because it was probably too spicy.
It was a little spicy.
Hey, thanks for listening, everybody.
We appreciate it.
There's plenty of more content on the Patreon.
We did have a Patreon episode last week.
I just didn't post a clip of it into the main feed.
It was amazing.
It's all about a group that exists to sell Trump swag.
But you have to, in order to participate in the group, you have to buy the swag and then Unfurl your Trump flag in a public area that's like annoying everybody around you and take a picture of it.
Yes.
Yes.
It's a good one.
They have a fascination with doing this at Disney World.
So, highly recommend that episode.
Very fun.
Very weird.
Very, like, enlightening.
Enlightening as to, like, what motivates these people.
