No more anything with the Kellog in my house (Clip)
Cereal is shoving homosexuality DOWN MY THROAT and we should kill whoever put up that billboard making fun of Trump Support the show and get the full episode at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
Nov. 15, 2019 - Minion Death Cult
05:29
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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| The new concoction isn't just a kid's breakfast dream. | |
| It's an anti-bullying campaign. | |
| Kellogg's is partnering with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD, to release a cereal called Altogether, mixing cereals and their mascots to support anti-bullying and LGBTQ advocacy work. | |
| We all belong together, the company said in a statement. | |
| So, for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for all-together cereal. | |
| It's a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you're from, or who you love. | |
| It's beautiful. | |
| Yeah, nothing says diversity or anti-bullying like subsidiaries of the same corporation appearing on the same product. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Also, I mean, it's a... | |
| This doesn't even sound good. | |
| Doesn't sound tasty. | |
| No, it sounds bad. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, so this is just, uh... This is a great stance against bullying. | |
| This is, uh... Woke capitalism. | |
| Bullying is eradicated by a cereal that has all their products in one box. | |
| Man, the poor kid that's gonna be like... No, I ate all together this morning. | |
| I am... I am fine. | |
| Yeah, I'm actually, like, in the negative bigotry range. | |
| I can do some bigotry here and break even if I want. | |
| For the first time ever, Coca-Cola is releasing a blend of Coke and Diet Coke to show that interracial marriage is okay. | |
| So fucking stupid. | |
| It's so, it's so dumb. | |
| The box, I don't know if this is the real box, but the box, like, looks kind of nice. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The Altogether font's nice. | |
| But yeah, what is the sun? | |
| The sun is from Raising Bran, right? | |
| Right. | |
| But does the sun have sex? | |
| Does the sun have an ethnicity? | |
| Does the sun have sex? | |
| You know, how does that work? | |
| I don't know, like, are we supposed to believe, like, these, these characters were, like, being bullied or something? | |
| Yeah, no one's bullying Tony the Tiger. | |
| Yeah, like, was, was the frosted mini-wheat being body shamed? | |
| For, like, being so short, you know? | |
| So mini? | |
| Or did, like, did, like, the Corn Flakes rooster get bullied by the toucan for marrying the Raisin Bran son? | |
| Like, what the fuck does this mean? | |
| Like, here's the leftovers from a bunch of other products thrown together at four times the price for tolerance. | |
| Didn't you say this was going to be a $20 box of cereal? | |
| It's gotta be $20 per box. | |
| That's, well, I mean, I guess it usually, when I used to make this concoction, it would cost me upward of $32, so I no longer have to mix it myself anymore, and I guess I'm saving time. | |
| Yeah, you're saving time. | |
| You also get, like, one third less of the product. | |
| But yeah, I like how it's not even about the serials being together for them, it's about the mascots being together for them. | |
| Which, like I said, one is like a celestial planet, two of them are birds, one's a tiger, and then three dudes. | |
| I mean, actually, also, yeah, I'm not, I don't know how much to presume here, but there's, I'll say this. | |
| There's no character on that box that is a... Female presenting. | |
| Female presenting, there you go. | |
| Yeah, there's no femme mascots on here. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We got a rooster, we got the Crispy Treat Boys, Snap, Crackle, and Pop, those are all masculine names. | |
| The son is father, father-son, mother-earth, you know. | |
| Tony the tiger, Toucan Sam. | |
| Do they even have a female mascot? | |
| Wow, maybe they're missing the whole thing here. | |
| I would be so pissed if they had a female mascot. | |
| Yeah, and they just didn't use it? | |
| Yeah, what if they... It's like for a terrible cereal. | |
| It's like, that's actually what like the um... I mean, I love them, but that's like the Grape Nuts mascot is like a woman. | |
| Um... Yeah, uh, what if they... I mean, they probably wouldn't even, like, create a new serial. | |
| They would just do, like, the Marvel thing where they would just turn one of the existing serials into a woman. | |
| They'll just start spelling Tony with an I. Exactly. | |
| Still be Tony the Tiger. | |
| Same Tony the Tiger. | |
| Put a fucking bow on his head. | |
| Um, yeah, so Halloween is over, but this is still spooky as heck. | |
| It's just like a corporate monster mash. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The rooster, the Corn Flakes rooster, is like trying to have a relationship with one of the elves or whatever. | |
| And Toucan Sam does not approve. | |
| No. | |
| Toucan Sam's not happy about that relationship. | |
| The rooster's like, you taught me to follow my nose. | |
| Well, now I'm following my heart. | |
| I'm marrying this other mascot. | |
| I just knew it was right when Cracker was also up at the crack of dawn. |
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