Minion Death Cult - No  more  anything  with  the  Kellog  in  my  house  (Clip)
Aired: 2019-11-15
Duration: 05:29


=== All Together Now (05:28) ===

[00:00:00]  The new concoction isn't just a kid's breakfast dream.
[00:00:04]  It's an anti-bullying campaign.
[00:00:08]  Kellogg's is partnering with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD, to release a cereal called Altogether, mixing cereals and their mascots to support anti-bullying and LGBTQ advocacy work.
[00:00:25]  We all belong together, the company said in a statement.
[00:00:28]  So, for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for all-together cereal.
[00:00:37]  It's a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you're from, or who you love.
[00:00:45]  It's beautiful.
[00:00:46]  Yeah, nothing says diversity or anti-bullying like subsidiaries of the same corporation appearing on the same product.
[00:00:56]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:00:58]  Also, I mean, it's a...
[00:01:01]  This doesn't even sound good.
[00:01:02]  Doesn't sound tasty.
[00:01:03]  No, it sounds bad.
[00:01:04]  Yeah.
[00:01:05]  Yeah, so this is just, uh... This is a great stance against bullying.
[00:01:10]  This is, uh... Woke capitalism.
[00:01:13]  Bullying is eradicated by a cereal that has all their products in one box.
[00:01:21]  Man, the poor kid that's gonna be like... No, I ate all together this morning.
[00:01:25]  I am... I am fine.
[00:01:28]  Yeah, I'm actually, like, in the negative bigotry range.
[00:01:31]  I can do some bigotry here and break even if I want.
[00:01:36]  For the first time ever, Coca-Cola is releasing a blend of Coke and Diet Coke to show that interracial marriage is okay.
[00:01:45]  So fucking stupid.
[00:01:46]  It's so, it's so dumb.
[00:01:48]  The box, I don't know if this is the real box, but the box, like, looks kind of nice.
[00:01:53]  Yeah.
[00:01:54]  The Altogether font's nice.
[00:01:58]  But yeah, what is the sun?
[00:02:03]  The sun is from Raising Bran, right?
[00:02:05]  Right.
[00:02:06]  But does the sun have sex?
[00:02:09]  Does the sun have an ethnicity?
[00:02:12]  Does the sun have sex?
[00:02:16]  You know, how does that work?
[00:02:18]  I don't know, like, are we supposed to believe, like, these, these characters were, like, being bullied or something?
[00:02:25]  Yeah, no one's bullying Tony the Tiger.
[00:02:28]  Yeah, like, was, was the frosted mini-wheat being body shamed?
[00:02:33]  For, like, being so short, you know?
[00:02:35]  So mini?
[00:02:36]  Or did, like, did, like, the Corn Flakes rooster get bullied by the toucan for marrying the Raisin Bran son?
[00:02:44]  Like, what the fuck does this mean?
[00:02:46]  Like, here's the leftovers from a bunch of other products thrown together at four times the price for tolerance.
[00:02:54]  Didn't you say this was going to be a $20 box of cereal?
[00:02:57]  It's gotta be $20 per box.
[00:03:00]  That's, well, I mean, I guess it usually, when I used to make this concoction, it would cost me upward of $32, so I no longer have to mix it myself anymore, and I guess I'm saving time.
[00:03:12]  Yeah, you're saving time.
[00:03:14]  You also get, like, one third less of the product.
[00:03:18]  But yeah, I like how it's not even about the serials being together for them, it's about the mascots being together for them.
[00:03:24]  Which, like I said, one is like a celestial planet, two of them are birds, one's a tiger, and then three dudes.
[00:03:32]  I mean, actually, also, yeah, I'm not, I don't know how much to presume here, but there's, I'll say this.
[00:03:40]  There's no character on that box that is a... Female presenting.
[00:03:44]  Female presenting, there you go.
[00:03:46]  Yeah, there's no femme mascots on here.
[00:03:48]  Yeah.
[00:03:48]  We got a rooster, we got the Crispy Treat Boys, Snap, Crackle, and Pop, those are all masculine names.
[00:03:57]  The son is father, father-son, mother-earth, you know.
[00:04:02]  Tony the tiger, Toucan Sam.
[00:04:06]  Do they even have a female mascot?
[00:04:10]  Wow, maybe they're missing the whole thing here.
[00:04:11]  I would be so pissed if they had a female mascot.
[00:04:15]  Yeah, and they just didn't use it?
[00:04:17]  Yeah, what if they... It's like for a terrible cereal.
[00:04:19]  It's like, that's actually what like the um... I mean, I love them, but that's like the Grape Nuts mascot is like a woman.
[00:04:27]  Um... Yeah, uh, what if they... I mean, they probably wouldn't even, like, create a new serial.
[00:04:33]  They would just do, like, the Marvel thing where they would just turn one of the existing serials into a woman.
[00:04:39]  They'll just start spelling Tony with an I. Exactly.
[00:04:42]  Still be Tony the Tiger.
[00:04:43]  Same Tony the Tiger.
[00:04:44]  Put a fucking bow on his head.
[00:04:48]  Um, yeah, so Halloween is over, but this is still spooky as heck.
[00:04:53]  It's just like a corporate monster mash.
[00:04:57]  Yeah.
[00:04:58]  The rooster, the Corn Flakes rooster, is like trying to have a relationship with one of the elves or whatever.
[00:05:07]  And Toucan Sam does not approve.
[00:05:10]  No.
[00:05:10]  Toucan Sam's not happy about that relationship.
[00:05:14]  The rooster's like, you taught me to follow my nose.
[00:05:18]  Well, now I'm following my heart.
[00:05:22]  I'm marrying this other mascot.
[00:05:24]  I just knew it was right when Cracker was also up at the crack of dawn.