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Aug. 12, 2019 - Minion Death Cult

01:15:46

My Husband Is Finally Catching On I Think

This week, we cover that Epstein thing, give our theories, but more importantly, the theories of, the hoi, polloi Also, we join, Biden, 2020 Facebook groups, and reveal the, cringe within, Support the show, get bonus content, and a chance to win a coveted Minion Death Coozie at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
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	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Nobody knows who's responsible this week.
	Everybody knows that somebody is responsible, but nobody knows quite who it is, except I think we're all in agreement that it's not Jeffrey Epstein.
	There's an actual ledger out there of a list of names of customers that are possible suspects here, just not Epstein.
	He's the only person who's not responsible for the world ending today.
	Either way, we are documenting it.
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	Yeah, particularly, I don't know, the ones with cats in them.
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	Any cat moment is going to be worthwhile.
	Yeah, okay, so on to the show this week.
	We're talking about that Epstein to start off.
	This wild few days we've had with the ostensible suicide of, I don't know, the country's most valuable prisoner and potential witness.
	Yeah, someone who's, you know, connected worldwide to the most sus things.
	So Jeffrey Epstein, after an unsuccessful, quote, suicide attempt, what, three weeks ago?
	If that.
	Had another successful go at it.
	Somebody who was supposed to be on Suicide Watch.
	And then was taken off Suicide Watch, I don't know, a few days before he was found dead in his cell.
	A lot of people are reporting, you know, the meme is going around and we'll talk about it in this episode.
	The meme, the idea is how could he, how could somebody successfully kill themselves when they're on Suicide Watch?
	Well, he wasn't.
	He was taken off Suicide Watch, which is in itself incredibly suspicious.
	Yeah, it's pretty interesting.
	There's also an idea going around that the security cameras malfunctioned on his cell, which I think has been traced back to one tweet by a blue check on Twitter.
	This dude who runs a social media promotional company, he's like the CEO of some company that handles your social media, tweeted out Was this the one that was a video?
	malfunctioned which he had no source he hasn't been able to back up that claim whatsoever but that's funny I guess the one that was a video like I think it looked pretty official because it was a video there's one with somebody talking and when he's talking because he's talking so matter-of-factly it seems pretty legit because you wouldn't just like make that up on screen on a On camera.
	I just saw a screenshot when I was reading about the actual reported facts of the case.
	I saw a screenshot of the tweet, so I don't know if there was a video attached.
	Some douchebag who doesn't know what he's talking about.
	When you're not in...
	In the actual cell where the suicide watch happens, there may or may not be a camera pointed at your cell.
	Epstein, from what I've been reading, was moved back to a protective housing unit where reports are saying that there are cameras but there's not a camera pointed at every cell.
	There may or may not.
	The camera footage of his his successful suicide attempt Obviously this has just nobody's buying this nobody anywhere believes this except the few people who are trying to
	Spin Epstein as a oppressed minority just disregarded by the system and left to rot in prison until he kills himself.
	Other than that, most people are like, hmm, something seems weird.
	Yeah, something's a little suspect here.
	Something is definitely amiss.
	What do you think happened, Tony?
	Uh, man, I like...
	Don't even care as much as I'm just annoyed.
	I mean, people... Homicides happen all the time in prison that are called suicides.
	Like, guards mark people all the time and they're like, oh, this is a suicide.
	This happens regularly.
	But you can't even begin to flesh out I think that, you know, Hillary baked a cake with a razor in it and sent it to him as a gift and they gave it to him.
	Yeah.
	And it had like some threatening note and that's why there was cake all over the cell when they walked in.
	I heard that too.
	You know, it's like, what the fuck?
	So the reports are indicating that The guards were supposed to be doing 30 minute checks on him and I guess other members of this protective housing unit, but that didn't happen.
	That didn't happen on the night in question.
	And the oblique excuse or the... I don't know.
	The way they're trying to cover their asses is by saying how underfunded this particular federal prison is.
	They're trying to say, oh, well, these guards are overworked.
	What's his face?
	The To Catch a Predator guy, Chris Hardwick, is saying that this particular housing facility is using other inmates to watch the prisoners.
	Which is just awesome to think about.
	Yeah, and so I guarantee that, like, Democrats are going to, like, you know, put up some criticisms of this, you know, maybe start an inquiry or whatever, and then just come to the conclusion that the way to solve this is by giving more money to the federal prison system.
	And then call it a win.
	Yeah, I was going to say, more like start a GoFundMe.
	More like start a GoFundMe for prisons.
	Prisons need more guards.
	So, I mean, I'm of the mind that Hillary Clinton didn't, like, wobble her way in there and kill Jeffrey Epstein herself, and neither did Trump.
	I think that Jeffrey Epstein probably had a lot of reasons to kill himself.
	Yeah.
	And all it would have taken was the opportunity to do so.
	I do believe that People wanted him dead.
	He was being housed in solitary confinement, which we know is pretty much a form of psychological torture.
	Prisoners are much more likely to attempt suicide if they're held in solitary confinement.
	I think that if you wanted Jeffrey Epstein dead, all you would have to do is get the guards to look the other way for about 30 minutes to an hour, which is exactly what happened.
	Yeah, just let it happen.
	Let nature take its course there with him.
	I also think that it's funny how Democrats are like, oh, it was Trump, or oh, it was Russia, and Republicans are like, oh, it was Hillary Clinton.
	When it's like, there are other people in the world much more powerful than Hillary Clinton just by, I don't know, by the fact of their enormous wealth.
	By the fact that they operate without the sort of publicity and popularity that somebody and celebrity that somebody like Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump has I was gonna say, by their ability to win an election?
	Yes.
	Yeah, I mean Hillary Clinton couldn't fucking win an election with three million more votes than Donald Trump.
	I don't know how capable she is.
	She would have, like... She would have fell down the stairs trying to call the person to go kill Jeffrey Epstein.
	Hillary Clinton can't even figure out a way to leave her husband in a way that doesn't look bad for marketing, you know?
	Well I think maybe, you know, maybe she didn't want Epstein dead.
	Maybe if he had been alive she could have left Bill Clinton because he's just not that into her, you know what I mean?
	Yeah, this would have liberated her.
	No, I mean, if you have like any sense of history or knowledge of what you could call the deep state and the way they operate outside the bounds of our U.S.
	legal system, this could obviously have been done by multiple people, you know, multiple organizations, probably more likely than the sitting U.S.
	president.
	Like, why would you ever Not only, like, why would Trump order this himself, but why would you ever even tell Trump you were going to do this?
	It was probably Chris Tucker.
	Go on.
	Yeah, Chris Tucker's one of the people that's on the ledgers.
	Chris Tucker sounds like the name of a Fox News host.
	I had to think about it for a second.
	Sorry, let me try that again.
	It was probably Rush Hour's Chris Tucker.
	Yeah, I was thinking either Chris Wallace or Tucker Carlson.
	My brain is completely broken at this point.
	Yeah, Chris Tucker is the perfect combination of Tucker Carlson and Biggie Smalls.
	I mean, it's just as likely to just be him just making a phone call.
	Hey, I got, you know, a hundred grand if, you know, you guys just walk away for a minute.
	- Yeah, and hey, when you come back, make sure you tell him you got knocked the fuck out.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Like, there's a system in place.
	There's a system in place that we can't see.
	I mean, that's kind of what, you know, the Jeffrey Epstein case is alluding to.
	Yeah.
	Like, when we're talking about Jeffrey Epstein being in prison for trafficking and pimping out minors, We're talking about, like, pretty literally a global cabal of pedophile billionaires.
	That's who his customers are.
	And if you acknowledge the existence of such a cabal, you have to entertain the possibility that Hillary Clinton herself didn't order Huma Abedin to go kill Jeffrey Epstein.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, this is literally bigger than her.
	So I, what I think would be funny though, because this incident is like, just everybody, everybody is suspicious now.
	Nobody buys this.
	People on the left, people even in the center, you know, CNN hosts, MSNBC hosts are like, uh, so this is weird.
	This thing that, um, unsuccessfully happened three weeks ago now just happened for real.
	So, um, it's just, it's just really wild because it's happening, you know, pretty much out in the open.
	Like, we're all seeing this.
	We all predicted that this might happen, and it just did.
	So, like, where do we go from here, you know?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like, oh shit, it's real, okay, alright, this is happening now.
	So obviously the Q Facebook groups just exploded at this news, just like burst forth like a bag of popcorn.
	And this post, it was funny because it was just like that day, it was like, you know, 12 posts in a row about Epstein being suicided and then like one random post about Donald Trump singing America the Beautiful and then 12 more posts about Epstein.
	Don Marie posts in the QAnon White Rabbit Facebook group, who in here believes Epstein killed himself?
	And just like 1.5 thousand comments of people saying nope.
	Nope.
	Not me.
	Do I look like a sucker?
	Including a gif reaction of a minion saying, uh, no.
	Which is highly appropriate.
	That is the official MDC stance on this.
	Uh, Connie Slabaw Crum.
	Yes.
	Connie Slabaw Crum.
	God, I hope she married into that name because I don't see how you could have a last name Crum and then give your daughter the middle name Slabaw.
	Yeah, yeah.
	See, you're just not culture.
	You don't understand true Euro-culture.
	Yeah.
	True Anglo-cultures.
	Coleslaw Crum says, You are watching a movie.
	Dot dot dot dot.
	Dead people always show up later in another movie.
	I think what she means is that Epstein the Grey is going to reappear as Epstein the White in the sequel.
	Even more powerful and good than before.
	Yeah, don't sweat it.
	Like, Epstein is just the Phoenix from Harry Potter.
	That's all.
	I fell deep into the earth for what seemed like years.
	Time had no meaning.
	And then I stopped abruptly three inches above the ground.
	Yeah.
	I couldn't even think of that many movies where this happens.
	This is not a common trope.
	Well, you've got to think of whole franchises.
	You can't just think of movies.
	Because you've got to wait for the other movie for them to come back.
	That's true.
	Oh, maybe she's only seen stuff from the MCU.
	Yeah, those motherfuckers never die.
	Yeah.
	Except for the Hulk at the end of Avengers Endgame.
	Sorry, folks.
	Sorry, guys.
	Spoilers.
	Damn.
	That was rude, man.
	I love that you are watching a movie.
	Just plain and simple.
	You're watching a movie.
	This is not real.
	My life is a movie now that I watch through a 12-inch screen that's currently resting on my lap.
	Enjoy the show, folks.
	It has no bearing on the real world whatsoever.
	It's just fun.
	You know, it's fun to watch and play along.
	Could you imagine if, like, the Truman Show just starred Epstein and followed his life instead?
	On, like, a massive soundstage?
	I don't think they'd be allowed to broadcast that one.
	Well, other people would be actors playing Playing the underage children he trafficked.
	Exactly, yeah.
	Okay.
	As long as they're consenting actors.
	As long as their parents sign the proper paperwork.
	They're all part of the union.
	Okay.
	This person has a theory.
	This person's named At Rod Sneaky on Twitter.
	1.
	Let me break this down for you all who are, comma, predictably, comma, overreacting and allowing your emotions to cloud your logic.
	Whatever the media is telling you about Epstein is not the actual story.
	It's the story that white hats want the public to see.
	Remember, this is a show.
	So again, like, oh, this is just my story that I watch.
	This story about, like, a global cabal of murderous and pedophiliac and cannibalistic billionaires.
	It's just an entertaining show I like to watch.
	No, I think that's very real.
	When I mentioned, when I talked to you about It's funny how after yesterday, a bunch of cute people came out of the woodwork, basically, on my social medias.
	And basically every mom that I met during birthing classes, as anti-vax and homeschools, they came out of the woodwork and they were like, Here's some Q shit.
	What did they say specifically that was Q shit?
	Like the Arkansas shit?
	They're more or less reposting people who we know as Q personalities.
	So it was kind of funny, but it's like, yeah.
	A lot of these people, they don't watch... People don't watch...
	soap operas anymore, you know?
	They watch Q.
	They watch that stuff.
	And, like, that's where they get their information.
	Like, that shit's entertaining.
	I mean, it's really a shame that Serial ended and opened up the floor for QAnon, basically.
	Exactly.
	What was I going to say?
	Yeah, there's like a big danger in this, uh, this whole Epstein quote suicide thing because the left does need to... I mean, it's, you know, it's doing a good job, but it just needs to keep doing the job of, uh, explaining the forces of global capital and how they work to insulate themselves and, you know, uh, I don't know, prevent people from testifying against them because... Yeah!
	I'm not absolving Hillary Clinton or Bill Clinton of any of this shit, but it's obviously, like we said, bigger than them.
	And it just, I don't know, I feel like it would just make more sense to be like, no, it's every single person that Epstein implicated or that was implicated in the files that were released, you know, anyone who was a potential patron of Epstein
	And I think that that's a much more sound case to make, you know, and we definitely have to make it so these, you know, stay-at-home parents or retirees aren't pointed just at, like, the Democratic Party, which is obviously corrupt, but it's laughable to think that they're the only force of corruption in this country.
	Yeah, like, of, like, the gangs, they're like the, um, they're like the Disney gangs, you know?
	They're like the Main Street Elite.
	They might do bad shit, but they're not like, you know, as gnarly.
	I thought you were going to say they're like the Crips because they were blue and I'm glad you didn't say that.
	No, I would never say that for other reasons we won't talk about while recording.
	Okay, uh, two.
	You think that the highest of high profile prisoner indicted on sex child trafficking with disturbing dirt on the Clintons and deep state politicians is being held without 24-7 surveillance?
	You think he is given the tools and freedom to commit suicide?
	FANTASY!
	Three, Epstein has... It's impossible.
	Epstein has and still is under 24-7 high military security in a holding cell nowhere near where any of the reports will tell you.
	You think Trump, while under attack from the deep state, is going to let his smoking gun go unsupervised?
	No!
	Folks, this is all theater.
	So this is fucking wild.
	This is the part where they reveal...
	Not actually dead.
	No one died.
	Well, someone died, but not Epstein.
	Epstein's not dead.
	Epstein's still being held captive.
	Yeah, you know how we were like railing against fake news for the last three years?
	Well, no, this is fake news, but it's good.
	Yeah, it's good that it's fake news.
	Yeah, we're happy that this is a lie.
	Four.
	Look at how much this benefits us.
	Firstly, quote, we have it all.
	Firstly, quote, we have it all, which may be a reference to a Q drop on 8chan.
	The man is already indicted.
	The intel all gathered.
	So I like this that he's been tried.
	I mean, this is something I guess we talk about a lot when we're discussing Q, but he's been tried just behind the scenes.
	He's already indicted.
	He's already testified.
	Yeah.
	Which is, I don't know, sort of an insane thing to cheer for if you want the truth to be revealed.
	Like, you know, the whole Q movement is about the Great Awakening.
	The truth is out there.
	But it's behind a black cell in some black site.
	And we'll never know it.
	Well, it's going to remain a mystery forever.
	It's the magic bullet.
	The intel all gathered.
	The island seized.
	The victims interviewed.
	The tunnels cleansed.
	What the fuck does that mean?
	Do they smudge tunnels?
	How do they cleanse the tunnels?
	Also, I hope they're talking about tunnels, like actual physical tunnels.
	Yeah, no, I think they got Marianne Williamson down to those tunnels to light some Nag Champa and wave her wand around there and cleanse it.
	To adjust the vibrations?
	Either that or they brought a couple of those vaginal steam cleaners down there and now the pedophile tunnels have a yeast infection.
	They just threw a bunch of those, like, goop-like cleansers down the tunnels.
	The crystals?
	Yeah.
	The herb pouches?
	The herb detoxifying pouches?
	I don't know.
	I know about the Good Vibes crystal tampons or whatever those are.
	Yeah, no, they do, like, yeah.
	The goop is good stuff.
	Good stuff.
	If you're rocking with the goop, That's Toronto Capitalism.
	That's what I'm gonna say.
	This doesn't stop those involved from being prosecuted.
	The investigation already happened.
	Oh, cool.
	Again, this movement for truth is applauding an investigation that happened behind the scenes that none of us will ever know about.
	Great.
	Also, are you saying that nothing's gonna happen to the people that are guilty now?
	Like, it's done?
	Like, they're done.
	They're gonna arrest him any day.
	They're gonna do a roundup of those people.
	I mean, that's an interesting question aside from the QAnon theories.
	Like, what does happen with those documents?
	Because Epstein is so far the only one who was arrested, as far as I know.
	Yeah.
	So, is somebody going to go over those documents and then start making arrests?
	You know?
	I don't... I'm not optimistic about those chances.
	I'm not making a joke here.
	I'm being completely dead-ass right now.
	I think the most that can happen to a lot of these people is that we cancel them.
	I think that's... Honestly, that's it.
	But that's not a thing, so... But I really think that's all we can do is go like... Nope.
	They suck.
	You know what?
	I'm not going to go see Rush Hour 6.
	I'm not gonna see it, but I probably will.
	Okay.
	I'm not gonna watch the new episodes of The Simpsons anymore.
	Oh no!
	Oh no!
	I totally was watching every new episode of The Simpsons.
	Oh yeah.
	And now I'm not gonna do that anymore because Matt Groening was reported to have received a foot rub by one of Epstein's, like, Sex workers?
	Sex slaves?
	A woman testified that Epstein made her give Matt Groening a foot rub on his plane and she was horrified by the state of Matt Groening's feet.
	I don't imagine him having nice feet.
	Yeah, he doesn't look like a nice feet guy.
	This must have been some sort of punishment for her.
	This is real sick.
	I mean, as opposed to all the pleasure she received.
	That's what I wanted to know.
	Are they going to get any justice?
	Are they going to help aid these women and these people who have been trafficked?
	Are they being proactive about that?
	Well, this list keeps going, so let's see.
	Let's see what Q has in plan for those women.
	5.
	Secondly, this is bringing colossal amounts of eyes back to the Epstein situation after the Mockingbird media has been pushing quote muh racist and quote muh gun control for weeks.
	This is a refocus slash narrative shift.
	Now even the sheep have to admit something shady is happening.
	Yeah.
	Hey, we haven't talked about this guy in a while.
	We should have him kill himself.
	You know those other false flags we were doing?
	Yeah.
	Let's do this third false flag.
	Or I guess fourth false flag.
	To refocus the narrative.
	Yeah.
	Jesus Christ.
	Now even the sheep have to admit something shady is happening.
	That part is true.
	Six.
	Now we are getting full-blown speculation in the minds of the sheep.
	Quote, oh shit, is the deep state real?
	Quote, damn, someone really wanted him dead.
	Quote, doesn't he have extremely close connections to the Clintons?
	People will have to have this internal conversation with themselves.
	Honestly, what is the fear of the Clintons these days?
	Do you think she's going to announce any day now that she's running again?
	She's part of the unelected deep state, so she's still controlling everything despite being unelected.
	True, true.
	I feel like they've been trying to just not be in the news.
	Yeah, this other meme is kind of similar.
	It's a meme of a MOAB, Mother of All Bombs, which they love because Trump dropped one.
	But this particular MOAB is painted to look like Pepe.
	Top text.
	Go ahead.
	Somewhere out there, an actual missile that is painted to look like Pepe.
	I can almost guarantee you, if they're still allowed to paint missiles and bombs like they used to, then there's one that's painted like Pepe.
	That would suck so fucking bad to get killed by a bomb that's painted like Pepe.
	Just give me that, like, classic, you know, shark bullet paint job any day over a smirking Pepe being the last thing you ever see or are associated with.
	Yeah.
	Jesus fucking Christ.
	You can see it though, huh, in your head?
	It better kill me, otherwise I'll do it myself.
	Yeah, or those... never mind.
	Top text, think logically.
	This is all an impact font, by the way.
	Middle text, whether Epstein was suicided or placed under witness protection is not the point.
	The point is everyone is talking about it everywhere.
	Bottom text, coincidence, patriots in control.
	Hashtag Great Awakening.
	Okay, so I think it is the point whether Epstein was killed because of the information that he had or whether he was, you know, swifted away to a secret location in order to preserve his testimony.
	I think that's kind of the point here.
	Um, also, if he was suicided, if he was killed, it does matter that people are aware of it.
	It does matter that people are noticing it because A, it shows how desperate the people would have to be to kill such a prolific prisoner.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Absolutely.
	It shows, like, because killing him like this would, you know, raise suspicion, obviously, the way it has.
	That shows that, you know, I don't know, the possibility that he would have been able to implicate, you know, some very powerful people.
	It also kind of shows that they think they'll get away with it despite the attention, despite the scrutiny, which they just might.
	Yeah.
	They probably will.
	And that's pretty horrific.
	That's a pretty horrific thought.
	I mean, even if they're not going to get away with it, there's a fall guy somewhere.
	You know?
	They wouldn't even need a fall guy.
	You know, if there's no camera pointed at the cell, if he actually did kill himself and it was just sort of the absence of the observation that allowed it to happen, then there is no Fall Guy.
	The Fall Guy would be the inmate that was supposed to have been watching him.
	Yeah, exactly.
	This is a reply.
	This is another long comment.
	It was a reply.
	You know it, Shelly.
	If this is all accepted just like that, then you know it was bullshit.
	I've heard there were very many actors and actresses.
	What a statement.
	And very, very important people into some really sick shit like snuff movies, S&M, in torture, bestiality, and on and on.
	Yeah, it was a real perverts playground, I guess.
	That would have been the name of the Epstein-Truman Show.
	Perverts Playhouse.
	Yeah.
	I met a lady that had been taken very young and the cult that Hillary is a high priestess in, one chapter of it.
	Well, one of their tricks is abuse until the child leaves herself and goes elsewhere in her head and they period.
	Start on that personality and groom period it and on and on.
	She was striking a beautiful woman.
	Which I think it's supposed to be she was a strikingly beautiful woman with many personalities living in her head so at times she would bolt and leave that horrible place but there was always one of her personalities that would phone and tell her liberal owner See, the real enemy is the liberal within us.
	You have to de-liberalize your mind, folks.
	You have to de-liberalize your mind.
	of a toy that was used until dot one day she left and walked in front of a truck and was killed instant t see the real enemy is the liberal within us you have to de-liberalize your mind folks you have to you have to de-liberalize your mind you have to on democrat it you have to hashtag walk away Yeah.
	But not into oncoming traffic like this young lady did.
	What sucks about this is like, this is a, you know, this thing that they're describing happens.
	It happens in real life.
	It probably happened around people like Epstein, but like Why you gotta assign all these other things to it?
	It's already bad enough.
	The crime is already bad enough.
	The crime of sex trafficking and the way... I'm sure the abuse that went on.
	I'm sure the demoralizing things that went on.
	They're already bad enough without adding this other layer of Illuminati into it, you know?
	I mean, it just kind of belittles the whole thing.
	Exactly, yeah.
	You're adding like a cartoonish layer of Scooby-Doo over a very real problem.
	Yeah, it's like, this is terrible and you're like, it's witches.
	Also, he says he met this person and tells her whole story that ends with her walking into oncoming traffic.
	So I'm wondering exactly when she told him this story and then when she walked into traffic.
	And where was this person when that person walked into traffic?
	It's literally just a movie that he's describing.
	It's some movie I haven't seen.
	I mean... Yeah, there's a movie where like some lady spy has multiple personalities and does check out.
	That's a real movie.
	I don't remember what it is, but it's past like five years maybe.
	Yeah, and that young girl's name was John Cusack from the movie Identity.
	Or like Salt or something, one of those ones.
	No, because Angelina Jolie is one of the liberal deep state.
	Very true.
	Okay, so this is a response to somebody who posted like a theory.
	Sheila Loren says, yep, my husband is finally catching on, I think.
	And so, this alludes to what I brought up previously, that the downside... I mean, the obvious downside to this whole Epstein suicide thing is that, you know, we probably won't be able to get justice for any of the victims.
	You know, we won't be able to prosecute the perpetrators.
	The other downside is that Once concerned spouses, wondering what to do about their QAnon wife or husband, are now gonna be like, shit, I don't know, maybe Trump is a white hat pedophile after all.
	Yeah, yeah, totally.
	Totally.
	It's gonna, like, it's gonna normalize, like, it's all this stuff, you know?
	Um, cause I mean, yeah, they're... The wild shit that they say, it just happened.
	You know?
	Like we said, this is Pizzagate, but real, and it's an island, and it's billionaires.
	Yeah, and there needs to be an alternative explanation to the QAnon global liberal elite explanation.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so we're entering another big part of this conspiracy theory.
	Tammy Newton Lampman posts in a Q&A, am I the only one who thinks the image they showed of Jeffrey Epstein, she's referring to the photo that was taken of Epstein on a gurney and you can see his face in the photo, am I the only one who thinks the image they showed of Jeff Epstein is really the body of Anthony Bourdain?
	Holy fuck.
	Holy shit.
	the ear, nose, hairline, et cetera matches.
	- Holy shit. - And then she's posted a photo of Anthony Bourdain in case we all forgot what he looks like.
	He's an older white man with gray hair. - She then assures that she would have posted a picture of Epstein and Bourdain in the same room, but you can't find that.
	You can't find that picture, which is furthers the proof that this was in fact the corpse of the late, great Anthony Bourdain.
	I don't think she's implying that they're the same person, because in the Q movement, Anthony Bourdain was like a hero.
	He was like, despite his pro-immigrant and anti-racist statements, he was a hero because they believe he was much like Chester Bennington.
	On the case of the elite pedophile trackers and going to expose them and that's why he committed suicide.
	Yeah, but I'm saying like they can't replace Epstein's body with one of his friends.
	That would have been too obvious.
	That would have been like, you know, conflict of interest.
	They had to use one of his enemies.
	Oh, I thought you were saying they weren't photographed together because they were the same person.
	No, they weren't photographed together because they were never around each other.
	Like, it was like, you know, it wasn't one of his cronies.
	Got it.
	Yeah, um, yeah, so this, there's two ways to, I don't know, uh, there's two ways to explain what she's talking about.
	I'm not quite sure which one she means.
	She either means that for some reason they used the corpse of Anthony Bourdain to wheel into the hospital instead of Jeffrey Epstein.
	Which is obviously insane, beyond insane, just like, I don't know, childish magical thinking.
	Or they photoshopped a picture of Jeffrey Epstein's head onto the photo, or sorry, of Anthony Bourdain's head onto the photo of Jeffrey Epstein, which again, why?
	They couldn't find another 55-year-old white man with gray hair to use in the world.
	Well, I mean like not one that was like that handsome.
	It's like it's literally just because they know who Anthony Bourdain is.
	Yeah, that's all it is.
	They just know who he is, and so they're like, oh, it kind of looks like him, and I'm already predisposed to believe that Trump is taking care of this, so he's not dead, and they used the other guy I know for the picture.
	Yeah, absolutely, and you know what?
	If it wasn't Anthony Bourdain, then Anthony Bourdain should come out and say it wasn't him.
	Yeah, I haven't heard a peep.
	You've not heard anything.
	Like, the only reason they're saying... The Bourdain estate had nothing to say about Epstein's death.
	Like, the only reason they're saying that it wasn't JFK Jr.' 's body is because JFK Jr.' 's still alive and they know this.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's... Who else is gonna win in 2024?
	God, can you imagine being Anthony Bourdain's, like, family?
	And being like, hey, um, we noticed that the corpse Jeffrey Epstein looked a lot like, uh, your, you know, whatever.
	Looked a lot like Anthony.
	Like, do you have anything to say about that?
	Do you guys have anything to say?
	Any feedback about that?
	Can you tell me it wasn't him?
	Yeah, it would be, you know... You're so fucked.
	It wouldn't be out of the realm.
	I mean, think about all those Sandy Hook parents that were accosted and questioned and harassed.
	This is not like... It's funny because somebody did a joking tweet with a photo of Anthony Bourdain instead of Epstein.
	It said, R.I.P.
	King or something like that.
	R.I.P.
	to Epstein.
	And it was at Bourdain.
	But these people really mean it.
	Yeah.
	And this is a popular, popular theory.
	I saw side-by-side comparisons of the body and of Anthony Bourdain at least 25 times today.
	When you told me that, I thought you were making a really terrible joke.
	I was like, this joke kind of sucks, Alex.
	Like, what's the deal?
	And then you just showed me that it was very much real.
	You are still just doing the good work, doing the Lord's work, and wading not that deep into this disgusting land of Q-Knowledge.
	Just like, why?
	Why would they think that the Deep State or that the Trump administration would use Anthony Bourdain's body?
	Well, they've been waiting to use it for something.
	Like, they just had it on deck.
	They didn't mean to use his, they just meant to use another one.
	And they were like, oh fuck, we were supposed to keep this for later.
	God, all these guys look alike.
	I saw another funny theory in the middle of this discussion.
	Where somebody was saying, yeah, and I don't think Osama Bin Laden is really dead either.
	Because they said they buried him at sea.
	They threw his body into the ocean.
	But, we know that Obama is a secret Muslim, and it's against the Muslim faith to be buried in the ocean.
	Therefore, he didn't do it to Osama Bin Laden.
	He wouldn't have done that to him.
	He would have given him the respect.
	Yeah.
	It would have been against Obama's religion.
	Obama's secret religion to bury Osama at sea.
	I like that they give him credit for being a devout Muslim, not just a Muslim.
	A very meticulously devout one.
	And then, okay, I think this next comment beats Anthony Bourdain theory, though.
	Which sounds hard to do, but here we go.
	Kimberly Schatz.
	And to be fair, it's like, I'm looking at a screenshot that somebody else took, so the original poster's name is cut off, there's just three dots, so it says Kimberly Schatz dot dot dot, but that's his full name.
	Past tense of Schat?
	Yeah, it's the German past tense of shat.
	Kimberly Schatz shits out.
	"Dear Patriots, the dead guy in the photos is not Jeffrey Epstein.
	He is none other than Hillary's dead brother, Tony Rodham." "Why?" you ask.
	"It is a direct strike on Hillary Clinton." When she sees this, she will figure out that Epstein is not dead, but he isn't in that jail either.
	So where is he?
	Moved during the NYC power outage to an undisclosed location where he can't be murdered by her before he testifies against her and every other sick gazillionaire in this world.
	Because she tried to kill him the last time.
	Epstein is alive.
	Narcissists don't ever commit suicide.
	I think that's like an element of pop science.
	Like, I think there's a movie somewhere or there's like, you know, some celebrity psychologist saying that narcissists are unlikely to commit suicide.
	Maybe that's true.
	I don't know.
	But yeah, if you're the world's most famous pedophile and child sex slave trafficker and you have a, you know, a 45 year sentence and multiple billionaires who want you dead, yeah, maybe you would consider it.
	Like, not only that, but the world's most famous narcissist sociopath of all time ever killed himself.
	Hitler killed himself.
	I mean, if you believe that story.
	Oh, true shit.
	God.
	You know what?
	Sorry.
	I slipped into normal thought for a second.
	I can't do that.
	Not now.
	Not in these trying times.
	Yeah, I mean...
	I think maybe, like, the collective hatred of all of us is what killed Jeffrey Epstein.
	Which is really cool, but, like, maybe we need to wield it in a more tactical way next time to make sure a star witness doesn't end up, uh, you know, being unable to do so.
	Being unable to testify.
	Yeah I also like like what a hater ass move that would be though like that'd be so amazing like hey uh we went ahead and dug up your brother and that's what you're actually looking at Pretty fucked up, huh?
	We're pretty sick individuals, aren't we?
	I just love that.
	She looks at the news and she's like, that's Tony!
	Oh my god, I'm ruined.
	No, that's not him.
	I'm going down.
	The only way you could send Hillary Clinton this message is to use either a photo of her dead brother that nobody else would recognize except Hillary and a few intrepid QAnon members.
	What's real wild, too, about all this is that we live in such a misogynistic society, the patriarchy is so thick, that even though, of the two people, President Bill Clinton is the more important person.
	He was the president for a long time.
	Bill is a sick individual.
	Like, you know, we know he was on those flight logs.
	We know he did, you know, wield his power and influence in order to, you know, I don't know, have sexual relations with that woman.
	However, he's not as sick to have run against President Trump.
	Yeah, that's the whole thing, right?
	It's like, and the thing is, I don't think, no one's gonna believe that, I mean I guess people would believe, like I don't think that she's like a sex pervert, but like yeah her husband is, like for sure.
	But like why, so why is all the blame on her?
	Why are they not just like shitting on Bill who's, you know, should be more powerful, right?
	But it's still like her fault more.
	Yeah, I mean, as that writer for the Samantha Bee Show said, you know, Epstein bringing to light the crimes committed by Bill Clinton could be the best thing to happen to Hillary, you know?
	Right?
	She could just move on.
	Yeah.
	Next.
	Thank you, next.
	Yeah.
	Ah, she should have broke up with him last summer.
	That shit would have been hot.
	Hot reptile summer, baby.
	Just letting all your tails hang out. - Oh.
	I like that.
	Get that one, that new One Piece child flesh suit.
	Okay, uh, last comment on this topic.
	Dusty, okay, so, people are talking about how, you know, it's very much in the news, it's pretty important, about how Trump retweeted a Clinton conspiracy tweet.
	Trump retweeted a video of a man implicating the Clintons in Epstein's quote suicide.
	I don't know if you've watched this video.
	Maybe I'll plug some audio of it in here.
	Mm-mm-mm.
	Shaking my head.
	I'm not surprised.
	I told y'all last month this was gonna happen, but didn't nobody want to listen to me.
	But then guess what?
	Next month he dead, and you know what?
	All the liberals were calling me a conspiracy theorist, saying, Terrence, you coming up with crazy conspiracies, and you need to be banned from Twitter.
	And then guess what?
	The man really ended up dead and you know what he had?
	He had information on the Clintons and the man ended up dead.
	Now for some odd reason, for some odd reason, people that have information on the Clintons end up dead.
	And they usually die from suicide.
	Come on now, how do everybody die from suicide if they got information on you?
	Okay?
	You know what?
	To be honest with you, I don't want to know nothing about the Clintons.
	Don't tell me nothing.
	I'm not trying to end up dead.
	I don't even want to know if Hillary was digging in her nose.
	I don't want to know if Bill Clinton eat boogers.
	Don't tell me nothing.
	I don't want to end up dead.
	I don't want to hear it.
	Nope.
	Ah, ah, la, la, la, la, la, la.
	I can't hear you.
	I don't want to hear it.
	I'm not finna end up dead like everybody else.
	You know what?
	Now, I'm not gonna say who killed that man, because, you know, I could end up being, but the word around the street is the Clintons did it.
	I'm just, I don't know, though.
	Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm just another black man on Twitter.
	I don't know nothing.
	That man is named Terrence K. Williams.
	Terrence K. Williams is a hack Facebook comedian that we covered on a Patreon episode like a year ago. - Hey, Real ones are already in bed.
	Real ones already know they're already in bed.
	They know they need to go to bed.
	The rest of y'all need to go to bed.
	The rest of y'all need to go to bed.
	Terrence K. Williams, uh, the reason we covered him on the show originally is because, um, I can't remember her name, but the New York Times, I believe, or the LA Times hired a reporter, hired a contributor who had in the past tweeted out anti-white messages as a sort of satire on the anti-Asian messages she received all the time.
	It was a sort of, like, ham-fisted send-up of the anti-Asian messages she got all the time in her inbox, and so she had tweeted out these, you know, quote, anti-white statements, and Fox News ran with it.
	Everybody ran with it.
	It was a big deal.
	Fox News, uh, I believe it was Jesse Watters, Living dipshit Jesse Watters invited Terrence K. Williams onto his show to comment on that story about how bad it was that she was using racism, even if it was a joke, even if she was trying to joke or trying to do parody, it was still just awful and still exhibited bigotry.
	So what does Terrence K. Williams do in order to show, in order to criticize her?
	He says, looks like Ling Ling's been eating some bad fortune cookies.
	On, on air.
	He calls her a panda.
	He calls her, uh, not Chinese, not Japanese, but crazy knees.
	He was too racist for Jesse Waters, who used to do an anti-Asian man on the street segment in Chinatown.
	That was wild.
	Who would go up to Asian folks and, like, make fun of them for having English as a second language.
	Yeah.
	Terrence K. Williams was too racist for that show, for that man.
	So, we're gonna release that as a bonus episode for everybody this week.
	We're gonna unlock that one because it's an amazing thing to hear.
	We'll tweet about it later.
	Turns out it's important.
	Terrence motherfucking Kay motherfucking Williams got retweeted by Trump.
	Best thing that could ever possibly happen to this totally brain-dead hack of a comedian.
	I wish there was like a React video that I could see of Terrence seeing Donald Trump retweeting him.
	Like, he probably cried.
	Oh, absolutely.
	He probably cried into whatever soft drink he was slurping on for ten minutes.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Oh, and then you know what he did?
	He said, I need to go to bed.
	I need to go to bed.
	So, uh, Terrence K. Williams posted on Facebook about how Trump retweeted him a second time.
	And this is just one comment.
	Dusty Dena Street says, Be extra, comma, extra careful, Terrence.
	For all of us, this is a great honor.
	To the deep state, you are now the enemy.
	But look at it this way, too.
	You survived that wreck intact for a special reason.
	God's got a mission for you.
	And I'm assuming the wreck she's talking about was his tour with the Deplorable Choir.
	Yeah, that was probably for sure a wreck.
	God, can you imagine going to dinner with that?
	All of them?
	I mean, I could imagine it.
	I don't think I'd want to.
	Oh, man.
	Where do you think?
	They probably eat at Sizzler or Hometown Buffet every night.
	Yeah, he probably ate at Sizzler and he was like, I'm going for the fried chicken and liberals think that's racist.
	He like yelled to the whole restaurant, watch out now, I'm about to grab some fried chicken and some shrimps and then I'm gonna go to bed.
	By the way, fuck Terrence.
	We all need to make that very clear.
	Fuck Terrence, but listen to the episode because it's amazing.
	All right.
	Now we're going to devote the last part of this episode to Joe Biden.
	Joe Biden has been saying some very interesting things, not of his own volition, while campaigning for president.
	He's been saying things like, poor kids are just as smart as white kids.
	Just as smart.
	He's also been saying that he was president.
	What's the school that David Hogg's from?
	Where was that shooting?
	What school was that?
	No clue.
	I don't remember.
	Okay, you know what I'm talking about though, right?
	Yeah, I know what you're talking about, yeah.
	Yeah, he said he was president and that David Hogg came to visit him, which happened in 2018, you know, last year.
	That's wild, yeah.
	Did I say president?
	Well, he was definitely not president.
	I meant vice president, yeah.
	Yeah.
	We both just said president, so yeah, but we're not running for president.
	No.
	So this had basically the reaction from the liberals, uh, so what?
	He's not as bad as Trump.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That was the whole thing.
	Yeah.
	Well, he might be, you know, he might be like a soft racist or even like a, um, Even like a, you know, systematic racist, but he's not a blatant racist, you know?
	He's not a... He's not a crude racist.
	He's not a crude racist.
	He's not an abrasive racist.
	An abrasist.
	An abrasist.
	It's funny, and another sort of apology for Joe Biden was that, oh, well, he admit that he misspoke.
	Yeah.
	He admitted he made a mistake.
	And Trump never does that.
	Trump will never admit that he made a mistake.
	Well, he's the bigger man.
	The thing is, is the mistakes that Joe Biden admitted to really did involve him misspeaking, really did involve him saying the things that he didn't want to say by accident, either, you know, of a Freudian nature or of, you know, your brain is dying because you're older and that's what happens nature.
	However, the mistakes he made when he was much younger, such as voting against school busing, voting for the crime bill, talking about demolishing houses where parties happened, the vote for the Iraq War, those are mistakes that he will not admit to.
	He will not admit those were mistakes.
	No, he will not say that that was a mistake, which is the problem.
	Which, you know, in turn means, I'm good with those decisions really.
	Exactly.
	Definitely the things that he actually needs to apologize for.
	He's like, hey man, hey, no regrets man, good vibes, no regrets.
	Arthur Kirkjian says, listen Joe!
	Your, quote, misspokes are nothing compared to Donald, quote, the ultimate misspoker of all time, Trump.
	Chill.
	Dot, dot, dot.
	Darns.
	At your worst, you're 1,000 times better than Trump.
	Again, you know what?
	You're not saying much, though.
	Like, you're not setting the bar very high.
	I also don't think he's 1,000 times better than Trump.
	I don't.
	I don't think that at all.
	No.
	It's maybe like, you know, one and one-tenth better than Trump?
	Exactly.
	As far as it actually affects policy in this country?
	I need to do a little bit of research, but I would like to find a Republican who I'd rather have as president than Biden.
	There has to be someone out there who identifies as a Republican that I would prefer to have in office than Joe Biden.
	I mean, Mike Huckabee would be better because at least you get some sweet baselines out of it.
	Very true, very true.
	I would go to that tour.
	Maybe he could bring back the Family Values Tour.
	He would bring back Family Values, period.
	Might get to see Brian Head Welch perform his inauguration.
	Yeah, I don't know, this is petty, but I just love somebody defending Biden's misspokes by doing some misspokes of their own.
	Just admitting they're human too, you know, they're fallible.
	Sandra McLeod Miller says, we are do mistakes.
	We are do make mistakes misspeak and faux pas.
	It's wild that they used the word faux pas and spelled it correctly and did the rest of that too.
	Yeah.
	Um, yeah, we are, we are do make mistakes misspeak and faux pas.
	I still like to do faux paw.
	I just write faux and then do a little paw emoji.
	A little paw print emoji.
	That's what the WeRateDogs account does when they accidentally retweet a white supremacist.
	They're like, oops!
	Faux paw.
	Faux paw are bad.
	We was bad boys.
	Three out of ten.
	We did a racism.
	So one of the places I saw some feedback here was on Politico, the political article where it's actually talking about Joe Biden saying he misspoke.
	And there was a lot of, you know, the same thing we saw all over the place, including from some, you know, some real heads, you know, some OGs.
	What I would assume this person is with a name like Geek Goddess.
	What's your steam handle, bro?
	What is your...
	What's up, Geek Goddess?
	Anyways.
	Yeah, I think Geek Goddess is saying that she's not an anarchist.
	She's not a Greek anarchist.
	She's a Geek Goddess.
	One thing before you read this comment, which is amazing.
	I saw a lot of people in the comments section of like political articles, normie articles about Uh, Biden's campaign coming out and saying he misspoke.
	Like that was just the headline.
	Biden's campaign says that he misspoke or whatever.
	They're like, Oh, so when a Democrat does it, it was an accident.
	But when Trump did it, uh, it was racist.
	Yeah.
	And it's just like, you know, indicating the obvious illiteracy.
	Like the obvious illiteracy we have in this country, which is of course sad, but you know, gonna laugh at it because that's what we do on this show.
	But yeah, I mean... Just adding so much to it.
	If Trump ever said, uh, he misspoke, that would be the headline as well.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	But that's never happened.
	But yeah, I do love this whole, like, also, this character defense of Biden.
	Like, no, he's a good guy.
	We all know he's a good guy.
	But it's like, no one's saying that.
	Like, no one's ever said that.
	About what?
	Except for Leslie Knope.
	That Biden's like a, you know... No, centrist libs love Biden.
	They all say he, even the people who say he shouldn't run, say that he's a decent man.
	He's a good man.
	He's a good, yeah, he's a good, like a good character.
	I don't understand.
	I don't want to, I don't get where we're getting that from.
	But Geek Goddess says, Joe Biden, esteemed senator, honorable vice president, exemplary father and husband, please do not continue your candidacy for president.
	Womp womp.
	So yeah, like you said, people like him, but even they're saying that he shouldn't run necessarily.
	Your reputation will be savaged.
	Your service to this country ridiculed.
	Your stature diminished by a man who isn't worthy to shine your shoes.
	Listen, this guy, you're better than this guy, but also he's going to fuck you up.
	Yeah.
	And I, and God, I love, I love this soft racism in here.
	Savaged.
	Shoe shining.
	Yeah.
	What's going on here?
	A bunch of coding there for sure.
	Your health will suffer while the other man thrives on the stress he causes others.
	Like this, I don't know if you've been watching, but every time Trump tweets he gets more powerful.
	That's where he gets his strength from.
	He really gets his strength from causing stress to others.
	He looks like shit.
	He doesn't look better than he did when he got in office.
	He looks terrible like always.
	Like, what is this coming from, you know?
	Well, I also, so like, I don't know if you saw what Andrew Yang said about Trump.
	No.
	Andrew Yang literally called him fat.
	Tight.
	And Andrew Yang was like, I want to challenge him to run a mile.
	I'll run a mile against him.
	In fact, I'll challenge him to any sort of physical competition and I'll wipe the floor with him.
	Except maybe eating.
	He'll beat me at that because he's so fat.
	If the competition involves flopping to the floor like a sack of dough, he'll beat me at that.
	And some people are saying like, oh yeah, this is how you beat Trump.
	Like, you make fun of him or ridicule him or whatever and it's like, I don't know.
	I mean, I don't know if it will beat him.
	I mean, Or not, or I don't know if it's the way to effectively combat his message.
	I think you should definitely insult him where it's appropriate, like Sanders did, by calling him a racist and an idiot.
	But the idea that an obvious foil like Andrew Yang would pop up in the news, you know, talking shit about Trump, would be unwelcome to Trump?
	Yeah.
	It's really interesting because like you just said, that's, I mean, you were being sarcastic, but in terms of his political career, that is where he derives his strength.
	Exactly, yeah.
	This is from the sort of like tabloid sniping that he loves to do with people like Kathy Griffin or Joy Behar, like his fucking chuds, lap that shit up.
	Like that's what he likes about being president is that he has an account with however many followers he has where he can just talk shit on other celebrities.
	Even like we got to admit every once in a while he fucking wins.
	He does.
	You know, like if we got to keep it a buck, you know, with the whole Pocahontas narrative, he lost that one, but it wasn't because he was good.
	It was because she made a dumb mistake by trying to, you know, with the whole genetic test.
	He won that one, you mean?
	He won that one, yeah.
	He totally won that one.
	So, you know, I'll give him that.
	But yeah, I just love that whole... He's gonna fuck you up.
	He's gonna fuck you up, and he shouldn't be able to fuck you up.
	You're better than this.
	I know that the fate of the country is what's on the line, but, you know, don't do this.
	Well, he's not wrong, because Joe Biden would totally be fucked up by it.
	I mean, they're both extremely senile, they're both extremely unwieldy, but Trump is unwieldy in an entertaining way.
	Joe Biden is unwieldy in the sense that he slurs his speech and forgets what he means to say and says the wrong things all the time and then backs down from what he had just said.
	Immediately.
	Then Greek Goddess goes on to say, you will be held to impossible standards that the other man is incapable of meeting.
	So again, all you're saying is that you're better for the job.
	Your health will suffer while the other man thrives from the stress of the causes.
	Your personal issues will be amplified while his are treated as no more than background noise.
	Please, Mr. Biden, save yourself.
	And, in doing so, save us.
	What?
	Listen, let him win.
	We don't want anyone to go through this.
	No, they don't mean let Trump win.
	They mean let somebody else run and who actually has a chance of beating Trump.
	Yeah, I hope so.
	They mean don't run for president.
	That's what they mean.
	Drop out of the fucking race, you old hack.
	I mean, I fucks with Greek goddesses.
	Whom I love and whose boots I would love to lick.
	Just please come to my house instead of running for president.
	Yeah, please come over here.
	I will just feed you grapes instead.
	You would be fed by a goddess.
	It's just so good.
	I joined a Joe Biden 2020 group and it's kind of startling to see it randomly in my feed because it's just, you know, completely different than any of the other content I normally consume.
	There's very, like, weird lib takes, uh, in there, and this was one of them.
	So this is one of those, um, I don't know, picture art things that you can do on Facebook, where if the, you know... Word art?
	The word art thing on Facebook says, wow, comma, that Anderson Cooper, comma, Joe Biden, comma, interview, comma, tonight, comma, was wonderful.
	This man, comma, Biden, comma, made me feel safe and protected.
	He, comma, has developed, comma, into a man, comma, that I could share my concerns, comma, with.
	Real emotion.
	Mr. Obama, comma, did that for me, comma, also.
	Wow!
	What is this?
	He makes me feel safe in some weird way?
	Was the interview good?
	I doubt the interview was good.
	I think people had positive reviews of it because Biden cried about the El Paso shooting or something.
	But also, you get to look at Anderson Cooper for a little while.
	Yeah, I mean, Anderson Cooper would make me feel much safer than Joe Biden.
	That's like the only thing I'm really mad about becoming more, you know, radicalized in the past few years, is like, I'm not as attracted to Anderson Cooper as I used to be.
	Because I'm thinking about like, you know, he could do better, but he still looks so fucking good.
	You could just have him as a problematic fave.
	Yeah, but there's more problematic faves than I like.
	They're more problematic.
	Your quota has already been reached.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Got no more room.
	Sorry.
	They can't all be problematic.
	You have to have some faves that aren't problematic.
	I mean, like... Unfortunately.
	I still got my girl Huckabee, so, you know, it's like, that's still, she's still got my heart.
	I miss her.
	I haven't seen her face in a long time.
	You know?
	God, she's so beautiful and intelligent.
	Not a new face.
	Sharp and quick-witted.
	Just the one that's on my wallpaper.
	Witty.
	So quick-witted.
	She's just so eloquent, you know?
	A real lady.
	So this post sucks.
	It's disgusting.
	It's such a bummer.
	The only thing that made it fun to read were all the commas.
	Is this, like, reverse engineered due to the fact that Biden is the frontrunner?
	Is this somebody trying to, like, I don't know, internally justify their support for a extremely milquetoast, unexciting candidate by saying he's wonderful and makes this poster feel safe and protected?
	No, I really think that there's a huge swath of people out there that don't know anything about him except that he's like a, you know, decent looking dude.
	Has a good smile.
	Who has a black friend.
	Has a black friend.
	And is the character that Leslie Knope was in love with.
	Right.
	You know, that's a real thing.
	That's a very real thing.
	People think there's the Daddy Biden thing for a minute, you know?
	I just think that that's where it comes from, and now that it's real, they haven't realized that.
	Like, the joke of Biden was fun because, like, he didn't even run last time.
	You know?
	Like, he didn't really go for it.
	Yeah.
	So, now that it's real, it's like, this joke sucks, guys.
	It's real now.
	Stop this joke.
	Yeah, no.
	The joke reached its logical conclusion about two years ago.
	Okay, that's the episode.
	So, for Patreon subscribers, during the month of August, we are doing a giveaway of these three hand-knit Minion Death Koozies.
	That are just wonderful.
	Each one is its own design.
	One of them is an evil minion with glowing red eyes.
	Another is an evil bot minion.
	Possibly Russian in origin.
	And one of our favorites is the dreaded Q minion.
	The patriotic Q minion.
	They are beautiful.
	These will be given away to Patreon supporters who sign up by the end of August.
	That includes all the old Patreon supporters.
	You do this by going to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash MinionDeathCult and subscribing at the $3 level or the $5 level.
	You'll get hours of bonus content.
	Every bonus episode we did, every bonus episode we do on a weekly basis.
	If you sign up at the $5 level, you'll also get some pretty sweet Minion Death Cult stickers.
	Those are a big hit.
	People like those.
	And yeah, sign up by the end of August to be entered into that drawing.
	Write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
	Hit us up on social media at MinionDeathCult.
	And anything else, Tony?
	No, I mean, just try to win that koozie, because if they don't do student debt forgiveness, you can probably sell this koozie on eBay.
	We won't be mad at you.
	We understand, you know, the free market's the free market.
	Yeah, it'll cover your interest rates for about one week.
	Yeah, it's gonna help you out.
	It's probably gonna go ahead and give you a nice little cushion.
	So yeah, do it.
	And it will keep your drinks cold.
	It also adjusts the vibration of anything it's holding.
	So it makes it alkaline for you when you drink with this koozie.
	Nice.
	Yeah.
	Okay, and keep an eye out for that bonus episode on Terrence K. Williams.
	We'll release in the next couple days.
	It's a fucking banger.
	Alright, thanks for listening, folks.
	Bye.
	Thanks.

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