Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

Aug. 5, 2019 - Minion Death Cult

01:05:40

You Fascinate Me, Kaitlin

This week we cover the deluded nonsense coming from the right wing in the wake of another fascist terrorist attack, including the utterly hair-brained attempt to blame Antifa and The Kent State Poop Pants Gun Girl gets robbed (allegedly), and dozens of lone-wolf reply guys leave ominous, thirsty posts on her facebook page. Music: Yo La Tengo - Let's Save Tony Orlando's House Support the show and get weekly bonus content at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys.
	We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
	Oh, they're in Boston.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	Antifa is responsible.
	They're always responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	So, hello everyone.
	Dark show for everyone today.
	Dark events taking place in this country as usual.
	Obviously, I'm referring to the three mass shootings we had in the span of a week.
	Something, you know, we're not unfamiliar with in this country, but just a rapid fire succession of them.
	Pun not intended.
	Sorry about that pun.
	And this really isn't our lane, like I have no background in, I don't know, trauma or consolation.
	Our hearts, my heart at least, I don't know about Tony, but my heart does go out to, you know, everybody.
	Who's been affected by these and the communities that were targeted by these individuals.
	You know, we know the motive for at least one of the shooters and he was deliberately targeting.
	Immigrants, something we've seen in this country before, and I can't imagine how that must feel, to be honest.
	So, I don't know what more I can say about that except that deepest sympathies and, I don't know, pain for those communities.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	It's one of those things now where It is so, there's so much of it.
	It happened so fast that the response to it, it's not quite normalized, but it is normalized in the sense that I think that it's getting to the point now where everybody knows somebody who is affected by these things.
	And to be honest, if you know anybody or are Part of any of these marginalized communities that have been attacked in these situations, when it comes in the form of a hate crime, then you've been affected by these things.
	So they're not few and far between.
	They're not shark attacks.
	It's just not slowing down.
	It's doing quite the opposite.
	And it's something to be taken pretty seriously.
	And not by way of purchasing bulletproof backpacks for your kids.
	Yeah, I mean, like I said before, we only know the motive of the El Paso shooter because he laid it out pretty clearly.
	Obviously not an isolated incident in terms of the rising wave of reactionary neo-fascist violence.
	But I think there is an explanation for the other two shootings as well.
	I think that it can be broadly summarized as, you know, young men in this country have a fucking problem.
	We have a problem with young men in this country.
	And you can try to explain it with mental illness.
	You can try to explain it with A reactionary analysis of a fucked-up economic situation.
	Those explanations are obviously both insufficient.
	Everybody is... A lot of people, rather, are dealing with mental illness.
	A lot of people are dealing with fucked-up economic prospects and situations who don't react in this sort of horrific and shocking violence.
	But...
	The through line is pretty clear that there is a tendency for young men in this country to react violently when they don't get what they want.
	As far as a policy prescription, I don't think one exists for that.
	Obviously, the right wing needs to be dealt with firmly and directly, but It seems to just be an expression of the violent American culture.
	It seems right at home in this country.
	You know, we need to make efforts, of course, to do what we can, but there are larger issues that absolutely must be addressed if we want to... if we want to prevent these kinds of things from happening.
	And anyway, like I said, this isn't exactly our lane, or at least it's not my lane, and it's obviously not...
	Very good fodder for a, you know, what I like to think of as a comedic show.
	But some of the reactions to these events were, of course, very fucking funny and stupid and, you know, just generally reflective of the way we deal with events in this country.
	So that's, of course, what we'll be talking about today.
	But I do think it's Necessary to kind of talk about what the El Paso shooter describes in his manifesto Because it is very clearly white supremacist and white nationalist But it's a very specific variety of that which
	I mean, you know, it's a small document, but I think you could probably, I don't know, close to accurately describe it as, like, eco-fascism, because he expresses concern for the environment, he expresses...
	I should grin.
	He expresses rage and nihilism at the economic situation, and he sort of rightfully puts the blame on both parties, which is something you'll see in right-wing spaces.
	Oh, he, you know, people who have actually read the manifesto, oh, he blames both Democrats and Republicans, so he wasn't right-wing.
	If you Actually read it, even, you know, slightly closely, you'll see that he blames the Republicans for not enforcing immigration laws strongly enough.
	He blames Republicans for giving corporations the leeway to hire immigrants.
	Like, he has a criticism of corporations, and it's just that they hire immigrants.
	Yeah, it wasn't much more than that.
	It was just that they were giving a leg up to them, you know?
	Yeah, so it's just, yeah, it's really cool that he identifies some of the economic problems, some of the structural economic, or at least the perpetrators of these structural economic problems, and including artificial intelligence and automation, and then decides to kill brown people for it.
	So, that's really cool.
	These are one of those many cases where it's like, you know, there are people that they could have gone the right direction, but they just got pushed the wrong way by seeing these, by following these crazy people that have platforms on the internet, you know?
	Yeah, like the president, for example.
	Yeah.
	If it wasn't for the president and like, you know, a Mike Cernovich or something like that, this person might have like just Maybe became, like, you know, started unions or something like that, you know?
	Or he might have, like, just killed himself and spared the rest of us.
	Exactly, but just because when you see these things, yeah, it's a volatile mixture.
	He, I mean, because the language in the manifesto uses phrases that are the bread and butter of the far right.
	Immigrant invasion.
	The Great Replacement.
	Like these, you know, aside from the Great Replacement, I mean, Donald Trump himself has tweeted out about how it's an invading horde of immigrants.
	They are going to change the fabric of this nation.
	They are going to destroy Western civilization.
	I mean, standard boilerplate right-wing talking points.
	However, a lot of people didn't read the manifesto.
	They just read an article on the Gateway Pundit that, uh, the headline of which reads, Leftist Change Shooter Patrick Cruzius' My Life Page After Saturday Shooting From Democrat to Republican.
	Dash.
	Page created after shooting.
	Okay, so that little post-dash phrase is an update.
	The update in the article reads, update the my life page was created after the El Paso shooting.
	Democrats then jumped in and changed it to make it look like he was a Republican.
	Are you following all that?
	So if you're not familiar with my life, because why the fuck would you be?
	My life is like a Wikipedia for people, except it's much less frequented, it's much less regulated, and when I say regulated I mean user regulated.
	You know, people talk shit about how Wikipedia is user-edited, and anybody can just go in there and change anything, but if you're, like, in any area of Wikipedia that's remotely popular, your edit will not make it.
	Your edit will be immediately flagged.
	But not my life, because nobody gives a shit about my life.
	Nobody uses it except to create hoaxes like they've done here.
	I think we've had My life on this show before.
	I think I've described it on this show before.
	We totally have, yeah.
	I forgot how, but it's come up at the start of probably just like this, you know?
	This is the only reason we talked about it, because somebody tried to say after the fact that a mass shooter was a registered Democrat and like a Nancy Pelosi aide or something.
	Yeah, and it's like with this particular article, it's why would you not just remove the article?
	Because what you just said was somebody after the shooting made a page for him and said that he was a Bernie-supporting Democrat, and then someone after that went ahead and edited that to the opposite, which is what he is, a Trump-supporting, you know, a Trump-supporting militant right-wing person.
	And so it's like, yeah.
	Someone did lie, and it was you guys.
	Well, I mean, you know, presumably you guys, the people doing this story, in my mind are, you know, the same.
	Just like, why would you not just delete this article?
	This is embarrassing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, the people who created the page, and even in the update, like I just read, the update, the My Life page was created after the El Paso shooting.
	Democrats then jumped in and changed it, so it's like whoever created the page was just doing so in good faith.
	All the information was correct.
	They're a creator, you know, they're a maker.
	They're not one of these editor-takers who go in and try to benefit from the hard work of somebody else just by making a single edit, you know.
	Let's read this My Life entry because it's incredible.
	Uh, this is the original My Life entry and it's all over the internet.
	You've probably seen it.
	I saw it in like three different variations.
	I saw screenshots of this My Life entry in three different variations, but like the second or the third one, when I saw it, I was like, okay, this is the one we're going to talk about.
	All the, all the text is the same, but the screenshot is different.
	Okay, so, this is four screenshots.
	Four nested screenshots.
	A screenshot within a screenshot within a screenshot within a screenshot.
	Within a screenshot, okay?
	Yeah.
	So, the arid... I didn't even notice that, it's totally funny.
	The smallest image is the website with the entry.
	That's been screenshotted into a larger image where you can see somebody's phone and background.
	Then that's been screenshotted larger to where you can see the black bars around the original screenshot.
	Dude, I was shook for a second with that last name.
	It says Sharon Bawel.
	It's like almost exactly my name but with no S. I was like, wait, hold up.
	I gotta get my people.
	That's how you know it's a false flag.
	It's a made up name.
	It's not a real name like Boswell.
	Not a real one, yeah.
	Um, that screenshot is contained within the editing screen of the iPhone screenshot app to where when you screenshot on an iPhone and then go in to edit the screenshot and you can see all the little like buttons around the edge that let you know how to edit the photo and then there's done in the top right corner and then that was posted to somebody's Facebook feed
	Which was then screenshotted by the person that I got it from.
	Which is just amazing, which, I mean, and the fact that, like, I saw three different variations of this same screenshot shows you just how, like, how wildly this misinformation spread, how, and,
	The virility, the viral nature of this post is just, I believe, an indication of a desperation to believe the contents of this My Life entry.
	Absolutely.
	I'm gonna go ahead and read it.
	So this is Patrick Crucius's entry on My Life.
	Summary.
	Patrick Crucius is 21 years old today because Patrick's birthday is on July 27th, 1998.
	So it follows that.
	I mean, that logic is sound there.
	Yeah, sure.
	Patrick's reputation score is 3.08.
	I don't know what that means.
	It's out of five, by the way.
	Okay, so, you know... It is, yeah.
	My dad's a 1.5 out of 5.
	Oh, did you look up your dad?
	Well, I didn't mean to.
	I meant to look myself up.
	We have the same name.
	God, so that's where all this bad credit's coming from.
	It's from my life.
	I was like, oh, tight.
	I'm like, he's a 1.5.
	Cool, I'm not alone here.
	I'm not the only one who thinks he's a 1.5.
	Allen, Texas is where Patrick Crucius lives today.
	We know that Patrick's political affiliation is registered Democratic Socialist slash Antifa Fascist and is a Bernie supporter, John Brown resistance member.
	So... Well, yeah.
	Aren't you also part of the DSAF?
	I am a registered member of the Antifa Fascists.
	Yes.
	I haven't actually registered with the Democratic Socialists yet.
	I've been meaning to, you know.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, it's tight, man.
	You get a whole new card.
	They, like, bump each other.
	It's like a level up.
	He's a registered member of the Antifa Fascists.
	I saw somebody on Twitter, I saw like a tweet of a fucking blue checkmark with 5,000 likes repost this information.
	Either doing it in completely bad faith or just the hugest dumbass to ever get a blue checkmark.
	Which is saying something.
	Which is absolutely saying something.
	Well, I mean, yeah, it's legitimately harder to get a card for your Antifa fascist membership than it is to get a blue check.
	Um, yeah, this is, I mean, it's just, you know, anytime anybody talks about Antifa as an organization is hilarious, obviously.
	Um, but to go one step further and say that you can be a registered member of Antifa.
	Like, you can go look that up in the tax records, that you're a registered member of Antifa.
	Is just incre- like, this is, I don't know, this is on par with Nigerian Prince email hoax.
	To believe this shit.
	Well maybe that is a thing in my life.
	Maybe you can be registered via my life to be an Antifa fascist.
	Like there's a good chance that if you look on my life, you know, Alexander Edward might be, you know, an Antifa fascist.
	Registered.
	I mean, that would be accurate, and I haven't known my life to be very accurate, so I don't know about that.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah, just like the dumbest attempt at painting this guy as a leftist possible.
	Like, Patrick was enlisted in the Kaepernick Corps.
	He was president of the Texas branch of the Kathy Griffin fan club.
	He had posters on his wall that said, fuck Chick-fil-A.
	It was chicken tolling signs to eat more cows.
	He had a GoFundMe to create Black Lives Matter knee pads for whenever the anthem played.
	It's cool, though, because you buy a set and, um, you can share them with, like, your friend.
	You only need one.
	Ethnicity is Caucasian, which is an interesting choice.
	And religious views are listed as Socialist Climate Change Conspiracy Theorist!
	And there's an exclamation point after that.
	Yes.
	I mean, we all know believing in climate change is akin to a religion.
	Climate science used to be a thing, but now it's become religion.
	You're being really generous.
	I think it's more of a cult.
	People that subscribe to think that things like climate change is an imminent threat.
	That's a cult.
	I mean, and yeah, what does the cult believe?
	That we're all going to die?
	You could really call it, I don't know, a demise cult or something like that.
	A demise, yeah.
	A bummer cult.
	And then underneath it has more of a bulleted list.
	Birthday.
	It says his birthday.
	Political party.
	Democrat party.
	See, you can tell that they're operating with some restraint here because they didn't put demon rat party.
	This is like them being clever, and I appreciate that.
	And then ethnicity, it says Hispanic American.
	Oh, so there's no way, there's no way that that's, okay, he's Hispanic.
	It can't be a hate crime.
	And it's also like, I mean, with the whole Caucasian in the middle of this and then Hispanic-American down at the bottom, it's leading me to believe that this might not be accurate.
	There's just some, like, inconsistencies in this post.
	Yeah, it's a little dicey.
	I'm just saying I wouldn't call a Hispanic-American a Caucasian.
	You would have to bust out the calipers first.
	Yeah, it's not that easy.
	So, that's where this misinformation is coming from, that he's a member of Antifa, that he, uh, is actually a socialist.
	It's all from this one MyLife post that some lazy right-wing asshole, uh, barely got out.
	Barely got out, period.
	And did so with such, like, fumbling piggishness.
	Yeah.
	That it, you know, should obviously be dispensed with out of hand, but no, it's what we all want to hear.
	It's what we all know to be true.
	It's funny because to get information, it actually takes like a while to like get the report they give you, because you can get a report.
	It takes a long time.
	There's a lot of clicking and stuff like that.
	It takes, it's a good like half hour process.
	So yeah, they're about it.
	So, I Am Awake, I think this was on like, I can't remember which comment section this was on.
	It was on like a Breitbart or a Daily Wire.
	I Am Awake says, okay, my first thought.
	That manifest is way too well-written to have been composed by this 21-year-old.
	Writing is one of the weakest areas for many youths today.
	Even many students in good schools don't have the best writing skills.
	Heck, the essay is not even required on the SATs anymore.
	That manifesto in terms of grammar and punctuation gets an A. Its authenticity gets an F!
	Jesus Christ.
	Because you know, like, the 21-year-old youths who are presumably in college, and if they're in college at 21, I mean, usually the situation, it's like, I would assume that they're probably at least sophomores in college, right?
	Right.
	At least.
	Like, you know how to write a paper, man.
	Like, they know how to write.
	Yeah, he's just... That's their peak.
	Find me a 35-year-old.
	Find me a 35-year-old who can write something nice right now.
	That's not what they do for their profession.
	Yeah, I mean, it's just this guy, this kid knew how to use spellcheck.
	Uh, therefore it's a false flag.
	It's grammarly.
	Yeah.
	Um, and I mean the essay wasn't well written, you know, it was, uh, I guess clearly written, but it was just, you know, each paragraph started with, uh, in summation, like each paragraph was like, in short, my political views are as follows.
	And this guy is like, well, this had to be the CIA.
	Yeah.
	This is too, too, It's too eloquent.
	Yeah.
	Holly B replies, so true.
	Everyone needs to see the lack of writing skills that college freshmen have.
	They all think they are texting.
	Uh, yeah, their essays are always filled with things like, uh, Bernie is bae and, um, uh, socialism you up?
	Yeah.
	Oh, hey, number neighbor.
	Uh, can I borrow a cup of memes?
	Is like something I'm always seeing in college essays.
	Yeah, thesis, you know?
	I like how this person tried to, like, format this comment to, so true, comma, line break.
	Everyone needs to see the lack of writing skills.
	Like, the only format they're familiar with is how to write a letter to somebody.
	Yeah.
	So it's just so true as the person's, like, as the greeting to somebody.
	Yeah, just sincerely, the end.
	To whom it may concern, this is so true.
	That 21 year old didn't write that composition.
	And her using the word composition indicates that she knows how to write.
	She knows words pretty well.
	Okay, this one.
	Nut Blaster says... Sorry, huh?
	One more time?
	Nut Blaster Oh yeah, stay away from this guy if you have allergies.
	Cargo pants.
	Okay, so there's a thing about cargo pants with the shooting.
	It feels so awful to be like joking about this shit.
	So sorry if we come off as callous.
	There was a thing about the shoot.
	The kid was wearing cargo pants and there's like a still from one of the security cameras at the Walmart when he's coming through.
	And then there's also a photo of him outside being apprehended by the cops, alive by the way.
	And these people are noticing a slight difference in the color of his pants between, like I said, the still of a low-resolution security Camera shot, indoors, and a photograph in the sunlight.
	Hey, those cargo pants are different kinds of off-white.
	Something doesn't add up here.
	Yeah, they're different shades of khaki.
	Somebody was also, because there's like side-by-side comparisons going around, somebody was also like, oh, the guy on the right is much bigger than the guy on the left.
	It's just a closer picture?
	It's a closer picture and the guy who's quote smaller is him entering the Walmart where his legs are cut off from the security camera.
	I believe that the first picture on the left is actually of a little person.
	It's insane.
	The person on the right is clearly full grown.
	You know, I do want to push back a little bit, just to get some, but I don't like referring to this person as a kid.
	Just because, like, he's 21.
	Right, we should give him his proper title, which is gamer.
	Exactly.
	I mean, just because, like, that, like, that's that thing, it's, you know, that credence is never given to, like, to the black men that are gunned down, the kids that are gunned down.
	Yeah.
	It's like, even when they are kids, they're not called kids, like, you know.
	But I've seen that everywhere.
	It's like, this young, this young man, this kid, this boy, it's like, nah, this is a grown-ass person, like, you know, this person probably pays rent somewhere.
	No, I think he lived with his parents.
	Oh, fuck.
	I mean, I don't know why.
	I don't know why I went with that, but you know what I meant.
	It's a good point.
	Your point stands.
	This person can vote.
	This person can vote.
	Your point stands.
	Yeah, he could have been killing people in Afghanistan.
	Pete Buttigieg, we need a statement from you.
	Yeah, so Nut Blaster says, Cargo Pants equals Antifa dot dot dot dot.
	Far, far, far left.
	I don't think I can co-sign the statement.
	I'm pretty sure that, in my mind, cargo pants, at least ones that would be considered tactical.
	No, we all know those far, far, far left Antifa guys are always wearing all that tactical gear with goggles and earphones.
	You know all the Antifas that are on the EDC forums, you know.
	Electric Daisy Carnival?
	Everyday carry.
	Okay.
	It's like for like pocket knives and like nice pins and flashlights.
	And they're all like tight.
	You don't know about EDC stuff?
	I do.
	I do now.
	Now that you refresh my memory.
	I know about the everyday carry.
	Yeah.
	Paracord keychains.
	My EDC consists of like all UPS stuff.
	So I'm familiar with the concept.
	I just don't usually talk about it.
	Um, yeah, Cargo Pants equals Antifa.
	Far, far, far left.
	Um, I really don't know.
	I don't fucking know.
	Maybe we just need to like, get more down?
	Maybe we need to be more like, hardcore?
	Maybe we need to like, maybe we need to start going to paying our Antifa dues and get registered?
	Maybe then we'll see where these cargo pants are?
	Yeah, that's the thing is like if you're ever gonna do a false flag like and tell the Antifa people listening out there if you're ever gonna do a false flag make sure you get the cargo pants that zip away into cargo shorts So you can throw those legs off and blend in That's not him.
	He was wearing the shooter was wearing pants This person's clearly wearing shorts Yeah.
	Well, and, okay, maybe I know what it is.
	So cargo pants equals Antifa.
	Like, you know how women are allowed to wear pants now?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So now they're, like, feminine, and that's what Antifa wears.
	And it also allows the women in Antifa to be more masculine, because they no longer have to carry purses, because they have cargo pants now, and they can carry all their accoutrements in their pockets.
	No Problemo replies, I thought cargo pants went out of style a couple years ago.
	Nutblaster says, not with the Antifa.
	What the fuck is- like this would be a troll comment, except it has 16 upvotes on a right-wing website.
	The name is... Nutblaster.
	That's not like a joke name though.
	For these people.
	That's like- that's an identity.
	You're saying that you're virile.
	That's a protected identity on the Breitbart forums.
	Yeah, not with Antifa.
	They just don't know what's cool anymore.
	They haven't gotten off the cargo pants train yet.
	Brenda Ortiz says, uh, why, when the Dems are being exposed, all these mass shootings happen?
	Is it a distraction?
	Coincidence?
	Thinky face, thinky face, thinky face, thinky face, space, dot, space.
	Just a thought.
	Yeah, what Dems are being exposed right now?
	Like Epstein?
	Yeah, I mean, this isn't, like, a funny comment.
	It just represents a very, like, viral comment and a viral thought process and, like, a viral explanation as to why these, quote, false flags are happening.
	It's because the Democrats are just, like, this close to going down.
	They're so close to going down, it's all going to happen, and that's why they do these false flags.
	It's just, you know, really indicative of the psychology behind, frankly, cult-like behavior, you know?
	When something that, like, Q or Trump has been telling you is going to happen, when something all your right-wing pundits Uh, has been telling you is going to happen, such as, like, you know, the imprisonment, the arrest of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and it just keeps not happening.
	Well, it's always in a state of almost happening.
	It's just like in a perpetual state of about to happen.
	So it's one it's one it's one like piece of evidence away from like blowing up.
	Yeah it's one it's one week without mass shootings away from happening and unfortunately you know um yeah so it's just it's it's just like um It's a perpetual excuse for these shootings to be described as false flags.
	Just because, oh, well, if the thing we've been told is going to happen hasn't happened, it's probably because of this other thing that is actually happening.
	Therefore, the thing that is actually happening is fake to prevent the totally real thing that's going to happen any day now.
	Yeah, it's just the most convenient thing.
	It's like I don't have to acknowledge this thing because it's not real and I'm not going to acknowledge it because I will not be distracted.
	I will stay focused.
	And, uh, yeah, I know the truth.
	I mean, and it's like- It's fucking wild.
	It's comforting on two levels for these people.
	It's comforting because it, like, reaffirms their sort of, you know, persecution myth or victimhood complex.
	It reaffirms the idea that the Democrats are scared or whatever.
	Um, but it also allows them the freedom To not have to care about this.
	To not have to care about the victims of these mass shootings.
	To not have to care about the rise in right-wing violence.
	It's... I don't know.
	I mean, I can see why it would be...
	You know, why it would be a desirable thought process or it would, you know, provide you with some sort of comfort or reassurance, but it's just awful.
	It's extremely convenient.
	It's very transparent.
	Another explanation that's been going around is, oh, of course this happens right before an election.
	Yeah.
	And it's, well, the election is still a year and a half away.
	Yeah, still got some time.
	This would not be a good time to have a November surprise.
	Or an October surprise, rather, in the fucking August of the previous year to an election.
	There is, like, no time in history where we aren't this far away from some election.
	Like, we're not close, we're not far, which is... That is not a factor right now.
	George Richard Harrison, I can see why he uses that middle name, says, they were in Walmart, a place full of weapons, knives, saws, shovels, guns, heavy items, dot, dot, dot.
	Like, couldn't a group of people have gotten together and took this quote, shooter down, period, space, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, false flag, period.
	Like, what a fucked mentality.
	Just thinking out loud to other people, there's no way this happened, because if this happened if I was there, I wouldn't have let it happen.
	So there's no way that this happened.
	Yeah, I mean, I know that I am a hyper-capable I wish he took it the other way and like felt really bad about it.
	And if I were there, it would have been dealt with swiftly and competently and judiciously.
	And since it wasn't, it must be fake.
	I wish he took it the other way and like felt really bad about it.
	Like he was like, man, if I would have been there, I could have stopped this from happening.
	Like I would like to imagine there's some kid sitting at home that has a lot of anxiety because he thinks that Smokey the Bear is talking to only them.
	and And like whenever there's a forest fire, it's like their fault.
	Yeah.
	They just couldn't be there to stop it.
	I wish this guy felt that way about every shooting.
	He was like, well, I should have been there.
	Like a character from Heroes.
	Yeah, you have like a survivor complex just for every mass shooting that happens in the country.
	Yeah.
	Also just a place full of weapons, knives, saws... Saws.
	Heavy items.
	Saw him!
	Saw, like, like... Okay, what we're gonna do is you guys distract him, I'll sneak up behind him and saw the muzzle off of his rifle.
	I'll just, I'm just gonna saw his head off.
	If you guys can just distract him, I'll saw his head off.
	It's gonna take a few minutes though, so make sure you're extra distracting.
	Do we have any other type of blade?
	This is just like a hacksaw?
	Do we have anything else?
	I know this was a false flag because not one customer tied a paint can to a string and swung it like a pendulum at the shooter's head.
	Like, why didn't they leave a pile of rakes for the shooter to encounter when he was roaming the aisles?
	This has Deep State written all over it.
	You mean to tell me nobody was by the marbles?
	uh... yeah also we should just mention that this happened in texas in walmart in a walmart in texas where uh... i think that's that state where everybody says uh... is extra safe because everybody carries guns i think that that's that state well that's the problem though is everybody used to carry guns but since like
	you know, this influx of immigrants and millennials moving to Texas, not everyone's carrying a gun anymore.
	So there were like four people in that building that didn't have guns.
	Shelley Green, one of the more horrible comments of the night, Shelley Green says, "This is now strange.
	If he wanted to kill illegals, immigrants, why did he go to Walmart?
	Why didn't he research where they would be and not bother the mainstream Americans?
	Also, he kind of did do his research.
	He drove hours and hours out of his way to go to this place.
	Why he went to El Paso.
	That's why he went to El Paso.
	Huge immigrant population.
	And where are regular people going to be?
	Yeah.
	No, Shelly wanted him not to go after the mainstream Americans, but those underground, indie Americans.
	Yeah.
	The deep cut, deep cut ones.
	Just an awful person.
	Just an awful, absolutely disgusting person.
	Yep.
	Jonathan Adler says, "I think Beto ordered Juarez Cartel do do this." Yep.
	I like this conspiracy where Beto is like a cartel boss.
	It's the wrong conspiracy.
	That's the wrong meme.
	The meme about Beto is that he's a fake Mexican and that it's cringey.
	The meme about Beto isn't that he can use his Spanish-speaking powers to hypnotize the cartel and force them to do his bidding.
	Don't let Beto see this comment or else he's going to make people start calling him El Beto.
	It's so good.
	I really like this content of tough ass Beto.
	Mob boss.
	We gotta take innocent lives.
	We gotta do it.
	He is Beto in an episode of fucking... What's that stupid show on Netflix?
	Breaking Bad.
	Narcos.
	On Narcos.
	I can't imagine it.
	Yeah, he's like standing up on the marble countertop of a high-level cartel member and saying, Listen, we have to overcome our differences and band together to do what was previously impossible and fire rounds into a Walmart.
	Also, like, what the fuck is this concept?
	Why would the cartel want to, like, target immigrants?
	Well, it was reported as a gang shooting.
	The police just started saying, oh, it's probably gang related.
	You know, since it's happening in an immigrant community, somebody is shooting with, you know, callous disregard for human life.
	It must be a brown person.
	Wow, I did not know that.
	Yeah, Breitbart reported that.
	And so that was like some of the first reports going out.
	D.W.
	Harding says, Notice how the liberal Democrats are in sync with each other?
	At a national level!
	Space!
	Exclamation point.
	It's like this, space, comma, space.
	If you try to take our guns, we will keel you!
	And uh, keel, keel is spelled K-E-E-L.
	This...
	This comment's amazing.
	It would rule so hard if this dude got a visit from the FBI for quoting a Jeff Dunham puppet.
	I wish.
	I wish so badly.
	And they like bag his little skeleton terrorist refrigerator magnet for evidence.
	I didn't even think about what that's what the reference is.
	I'm like, that is something.
	I can't wait for one of these motherfuckers to like run out of their house armed to the teeth screaming they call me tater salad and like get instantly popped by the ATF.
	And then the feds would be like, I don't care who you are, that's funny.
	They'd be just like tragic over it.
	The headlines would be like, aspiring comedian.
	Yeah.
	Fifth member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
	I like how he's starting off saying, notice how the Liberal Democrats are all in sync, and I'm assuming they're talking about the sentiment that this is an issue of white supremacy, this is an issue of white terrorist shooting.
	He's talking about gun control.
	That's what he's talking about.
	He's talking about the calls for gun control.
	No totally yeah I'm saying that whole thing like saying how this is bad we gotta do something about this and then saying like but they're all like that they shouldn't be saying that we will kill you mm-hmm just like actually proving it right yeah no I mean yeah Mark Isro says I'm gonna do my best here, folks.
	People have to understand we are done.
	Fuck immigrant.
	Fuck immigrant.
	We are born, born bred Americans.
	No travel.
	Too late.
	Nine.
	Ten.
	Lifetimes.
	Strawn.
	No letter.
	Mark Isro also says, were country made of countrymen.
	And Mark Isro also says, stop demo rats to keep raisin price to live by raisin men money.
	Read a book economics 101 retards.
	See we're laughing but this is actually somebody's like Twin Peaks in reality.
	This is a Twin Peaks character talking.
	This person is from another dimension.
	They're just sending us messages.
	We need to decode this.
	I like how just every other word in this is misspelled and mistyped and the whole thing is barely, barely comprehensible, but he still managed to type out demorats correctly.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	Nailed that one.
	This is also like, Facebook should have more, you know, filters.
	They should have realized this says no words and be like, you sure?
	This isn't a pocket type?
	Yeah, you should have to, like, select all the squares that contain a crosswalk to post this comment.
	Yeah, totally.
	I'm so happy that you were able to read that without doing a really insensitive voice.
	to live by raising men money read a book economics 101 etc um yeah i'm so happy that you were able to read that without doing a really insensitive voice because when i read it in my head it was in a real cancelable voice yeah when i read it in my head the first time i did read it as the republican challenger to ilhan omar's congressional seat um and i thought that that would be insensitive
	so uh i just did it in my normal voice - Yes.
	Yeah, what he's saying is stop Democrats from raising prices too high.
	Because it costs too much now to survive, which yeah, Mark is right about that.
	I don't think it's the Democrats raising those prices, buddy.
	I think it might be somebody else.
	Well, they are.
	When they raise the minimum wage, they raise the prices.
	Yeah, you know, something that just tracks one-to-one the increase in inflation with the increase in the minimum wage.
	We all know this.
	The minimum wage is now $23.
	And yeah, prices are too high because of it.
	Gas is now $10 a gallon.
	Okay, so now for a palate cleanser to this awful topic.
	The original palate cleanser was going to be about Kent State gun girl poopy pants, Caitlin Bennett, getting robbed at her hotel.
	According to a Facebook post, according to her, she had $1,500 in cash stolen from her hotel room.
	And this was cash specifically that was going to go to her wedding.
	And then she started a GoFundMe to recoup these losses.
	And then when I went to look back at the post today, it was gone.
	She deleted it.
	She deleted the GoFundMe.
	The comments weren't that great anyway.
	Most people were just either making fun of her or being... Even like her fans were like, why the fuck are you carrying $1,500 in cash?
	Why are you carrying $1,500 in cash and not a gun?
	Also, where's your gun at?
	Well, she left the money in the hotel room and she claims that a maid stole it, you know.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, you should always have your money hooked up to a gun that shoots people when you, you know, mess with.
	I like her claiming that a maid stole it because it wasn't a white person who stole it, it was a maid.
	Of course.
	So, that was out.
	I mean, we could read the post.
	The post was very funny.
	It said she called the cops and the cops laughed at her.
	Which is, of course, great.
	Critical support for whatever police station she called.
	But...
	It was mostly, you know, just the post and just the idea that she got robbed was great.
	So I was like, let me see what's on the visitor posts for this page, which is Kate's Unsafe Space.
	This is her Facebook page.
	She's of course the owner and proprietor at Liberty Hangout.
	Um, which is now just, like, an Alex Jones subsidiary, I believe.
	You know, she was ostensibly a libertarian.
	I think she's spoken out against police brutality before.
	Um, only when it happened to, like, that one white guy in the hallway of that hotel, um, where that other, like, absolutely, uh, incredibly brutal, incredibly cruel fascist guy made him, like, you know, gave him instructions to, like, Yeah, that was wild.
	do something physically impossible before he just killed him on the floor of that hotel hallway yeah that was wild yeah that guy didn't get fired or didn't get he might have gotten fired but he didn't get charged with anything no even though it's all on camera and uh horrifying and he had you're fucked carved into the muzzle or the some part of his rifle um cool stuff again anyway it's funny that she called the cops
	uh and didn't get her money back They just laughed Should have had Bitcoin Should have had Bitcoin.
	Yeah, you can't you can't just take You can't take Bitcoin out of a suitcase Um, but what I did find on these visitor posts, you know, like fans of the page can just post something to the page and, uh...
	You can see it, and it's great.
	I highly recommend doing this because it is just post after post of thirsty, lonely, 45-year-old man asking if he can escort her as a bodyguard when she's in his city.
	Please.
	Please let me protect you.
	It is incredible.
	Please let me protect you.
	I have one post from this guy whose profile picture is him in a jujitsu gi.
	And his name is Javis.
	Or Havis?
	I don't know.
	Havis, Brutus, uh, Gilius.
	I don't know.
	He posts to Kate's unsafe space.
	So I've beaten up 13 Antifa members, triggered 10 liberals, and made them feel like bitches.
	I fully support you.
	What the fuck?
	You've beat up more than you've triggered?
	Yeah, that's a weird ratio.
	That's a wild ratio.
	Good for you, man.
	I love him presenting the skins of social justice warriors at the feet of Caitlyn Bennett and getting no response.
	It's beautiful.
	I posted that one on Twitter.
	You should go look at his profile picture because it's really funny.
	There's another one here.
	This one's from a guy named Thomas E. Tollett.
	Who says, Caitlyn, be careful out there, you're doing great work and we've got your back.
	Maybe use this page to coordinate with fans who could escort you when you visit their city?
	It's like, please, please, like, please let Facebook be my pimp.
	Please.
	Uh, yeah, Thomas E. Toilet probably just wants some of that gun girl poop.
	Dude.
	I just saw Jarvis' fucking...
	Profile pic.
	Oh, it's a good one.
	This meatball can beat everybody up.
	Okay, but these were the crown jewels.
	I'm gonna get into these posts on here, which were the crown jewels.
	Stephen Hagedorn says to Kate, Lord God Almighty, we lift up Caitlyn Bennett before you... May you refresh her and renew her in spirit... May you fill her with your will and purpose, guiding her safely through all that lays before her in this day and days to come, meeting Caitlyn's every need...
	May you keep all those traveling with her for counsel.
	Be together of one mind with you, Lord, as you work through the team.
	Bless Caitlyn Bennett and protect her in every way.
	Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
	In Jesus Christ's most precious name.
	Dot, dot, dot.
	Amen!
	God bless America.
	Land of the free because of the brave ones.
	Love, love, love is power.
	Triple parentheses and then HUGGERS in all caps.
	I don't understand it.
	When I first saw the triple parentheses, I was like, oh shit.
	And then I saw the phrase or the word HUGGERS in all caps and I was like, oh shit, this is even worse.
	I read it as like, for some reason I read it as like, hug a Jew.
	Like, which is, no that's not how it translates, but that's how like, that's how it... I think... What is that?
	I think huggers is the n-word for guys who go, can I have a hug?
	Oh, can I have a hug?
	This guy definitely asked for hugs.
	Where's my hug at?
	Yeah, but it's like politely.
	It's in triple parentheses.
	So it's that's like, you know, denoting.
	Oh, this guy is saying like, I'm a hugger.
	I think he's saying like kisses, huggers.
	Oh, huggers.
	Oh, God.
	Oh, God.
	So it's in triple parentheses.
	Which is like triple squeezes.
	I think it's like I think it's like either love radiating off the hug, or I think it's like him being polite, you know, which is, he's a nice guy.
	Like, it's him, like it's, it's not like in your face, I need a hug.
	It's bracketed within these, these cushions of parentheticals, but it's still in all caps.
	So it's the nice guy, like politely going in for a hug, but you just see incredible intensity behind the eyes.
	Yeah, it's like I'm hugging you, I'm saying I'm going to give you your space, but you're going to know I'm there.
	Yeah, I'm trying to give you your unsafe space here, but I need a hug.
	I need a hug.
	Cutting my unsafe space.
	This keeps going.
	Respectively.
	Gold.
	Now get you some.
	It sure helps pay the bills.
	And then there's some link here.
	I don't know.
	It's SOJ51.org.
	It is funny how the mind works.
	I had a long dream with you in it.
	You fascinate me, Caitlin.
	God.
	And that's it.
	This ends so wild.
	Like almost everything, almost the entire thing.
	You can write off as, like, a youth pastor.
	Yeah.
	Like, the whole thing.
	And then the end.
	The end?
	I had a long dream with you in it.
	You fascinate me, Caitlin.
	You fascinate me.
	You're intoxicating, Caitlin.
	I'm gonna send this exact thing to Katie.
	You effervesce even through the internet.
	Just feel your waves of potential hugs lambasting me.
	You fascinated me, Kaelin.
	Oh my god.
	I'm a student of your body.
	This whole thing is just like a youth pastor, right?
	Um, I don't know.
	I should have gone to his page.
	I think he might just be a psycho, Tony.
	I don't know if there's a difference.
	Ooh.
	Wow.
	Coming for him.
	Get him.
	Yep.
	Watch out now.
	Uh, but give me their shoes though, apparently.
	Okay.
	Norman Caskey posts to Kate's unsafe space.
	After watching your Iowa slash PB video, I think that's Pete Buttigieg video, I'd like to offer my services to provide you with better security.
	I started tossing drunks out of bars at 18, spent the better part of a DFME, I don't know, serving our country.
	I'm not a patriot, I don't know what that means.
	And although I sustained an injury that's partially disabled me, I can still manage to put foot to ass if push comes to shove.
	I got your back like Sir Gregor had Queen Circe's.
	Winky face?
	Game of Thrones.
	Okay, yeah.
	I had your back like that, I don't know, walking abomination unto the Lord had the back of the arch-villain of that show.
	I didn't see the final season, but I'm sure it worked out for two of the most villainous characters in that series.
	I was going to say like there's a pretty big assumption by thinking that she would know what that is, but just judging by like her hair, like that's it, her hair alone, she like loves Game of Thrones.
	But she has, like, vibes to it because she's like, no, dragons actually have, like, different talons and those.
	You know?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I think she totally comes off as, like, a weird fantasy.
	Like, she's like a horse girl, right?
	Yeah, she's a horse girl.
	She's not a fantasy girl.
	She's totally a horse girl.
	But she, but she also, she's not not a fantasy person.
	That, that's medieval hair.
	That's, like, that hair, like... That hair didn't exist until, like, 20 years ago, dude.
	That, no, but that hair is like what she, she lives to go to medieval times.
	Um, I think it's just funny that you would think somebody, it would be an assumption to think somebody would get a Game of Thrones reference, the most popular television show of all time, just because you haven't seen it.
	That's like, that sounds like you have to know what it is though.
	Queen Cersei?
	She was like, you know, she's like the ice queen.
	She's like the blonde... She's like one of the highest paid actresses on the show.
	She's a bad queen.
	She's the one who fucked her brother.
	Yeah, but I don't know who Sir Gregor is.
	Sir Gregor is the mountain... Don't!
	Don't!
	Don't!
	We don't have to do this!
	No, I want to describe it to you.
	I want to describe it to you so you understand the analogy that this guy is making because that's the funny part.
	Okay, okay, please.
	I know who the Mountain is.
	Yeah, the Mountain was almost completely killed in battle and then revived as a rotting zombie.
	A rotting zombie monster carcass who then becomes Queen Cersei's personal guard and her personal knight.
	See, I didn't see that part.
	That's crazy.
	It's like saying, oh, I could be the Quasimodo to your Esmeralda.
	I'll be your freak, I'll be your... I mean, hey, you know me, that's what they're into, you know?
	Uh, if you are ever in Michigan, don't hesitate to holla at your boy!
	I can... Yeah, what's that?
	I can have a crew of volunteers ready to go!
	Hashtag liberty for life.
	Smiley face.
	God... Hey boys, uh... You guys wanna get together to protect Caitlyn?
	Like, you guys wanna protect her?
	I mean, is that even a question?
	Like, that next date definitely ends with, like, Caitlyn Bennett kidnapped by seven men who thought they were protecting her.
	Yeah, I mean, this guy would have to have, like, a social circle for that to come to fruition.
	I extremely doubt that's the case.
	Yeah, I highly recommend going to Kate's Unsafe Space Facebook page and just scrolling through all the posts left by people.
	There were a couple funny ones, like one guy was like, hey, I heard you pooped your pants.
	Is that true?
	It's not really a big deal.
	I pooped my pants too.
	Doing like a Billy Madison?
	Yeah, I think it's good.
	You try to normalize the pants pooping on behalf of Caitlin.
	It's okay.
	Like, I'm fine with... Hey, do you still have the pants that you pooped?
	How much would it cost to acquire the pants for me to dispose of them for you?
	Yeah, we'll get rid of the evidence.
	It will never be found again.
	Yeah.
	I have a very specific method of disposing of them.
	I pass them through my mighty system of organs.
	They're unrecognizable afterwards.
	But it's not hard though, because I don't like to sit down and eat them at dinner.
	I encapsulate them in little gel tablets and I just take a couple a day.
	Helps with the immune system, yeah.
	Excuse me son, did you eat a pair of jeans?
	Like, maybe if we all shit our pants to prove that it's not that big of a deal, like, Kate would suddenly stop having to be such a fucking maniac to compensate for it?
	Yeah, she doesn't have to be so, like, she doesn't have to prove herself anymore.
	Yeah.
	We could help just normalize that behavior, lift the stigma, get that monkey off her back, I think.
	So yeah, start a campaign.
	Poop your pants for Katelyn.
	Get that poopy off her pants.
	Okay, that's it for the episode.
	Poop your pants for Caitlyn.
	Poop your pants for Caitlyn.
	Hey, thank you so much for listening.
	If you want to get more content, we do a bonus episode every week at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
	P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
	You get access to all the previous episodes, all the new episodes that are coming out.
	There's hours and hours of content on there.
	If you donate at the $5 level, we'll also send you some stickers.
	Stickers are in the mail for everybody who is at that $5 level and we greatly, greatly appreciate all your support.
	Let's go ahead and shout out the people who support us on Patreon because we haven't done that and I felt like it would maybe be improper to do that at the top of the show when we're talking about mass death.
	Shout out to Andrew L, Randall F, Eldritch Chat, Eli, Matt G, KC, I know who that is, Mr. Sir, Sarah Browning, I like Mr. Sir, that's a good name, NK, Will W, James L, Nick R, Antipatterns, CDW,
	Christina B, John Shea, Benjamin E, Ian B, Tyler K, Luke W, Nicholas S, Marcel, Andy, Claire, Lust and Foundation, Josh I, Kevin C, James G, M, Justin Lee, Dylan, Joshua W, Aaron H, Amanda V, Timothy C, Cappy, Megan H,
	I think that's it.
	Thank you so much for supporting the show.
	We really appreciate it.
	Yeah!
	Shout out!
	Yes.
	Heavy Squad!
	Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult to support the show.
	Get that bonus content.
	Get those stickers.
	Those stickers are tight, by the way.
	They're super tight.
	Contact us on social media at MinionDeathCult.
	Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
	Join that Facebook group.
	Minion Death Commandos, where I posted more of those thirsty Caitlyn Bennett gun girl guys.
	Lots of fun stuff going on in that group.
	Thanks to everybody who participates there.
	Yeah, and that's it for the episode.
	Thanks for listening, everybody.
	Thanks, y'all.
	Bye.
	Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
	We proudly welcome Tony Owen and Al, the State Fair Marquis.
	Inside a thousand people, with yellow hair,

▲