Police Officer Forgot He Took A Bite From His Sandwich (Clip)
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Aug. 1, 2019 - Minion Death Cult
05:09
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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Yeah, so not only is this extremely stupid, it's also extremely cruel. | |
| It's petty and cruel and vindictive. | |
| Which is, you know, of course a pattern of behavior we've come to associate with the far-right authoritarian figures in this country. | |
| But yeah, just determined to go get somebody fired because you forgot you bit your own sandwich. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I can't think of a more, like, cruel and stupid story. | |
| Like, like, this, this should have just been like, he goes to McDonald's and says, hey, someone took a bite out of my sandwich. | |
| Like, oh shit, for real, that's crazy. | |
| I'm sorry about that. | |
| Here's a free sandwich. | |
| And then it could have been done. | |
| He wouldn't accept it. | |
| He wouldn't. | |
| Yeah. | |
| They offered it to him. | |
| You heard it in the news report. | |
| There's no way. | |
| No, no. | |
| It's like, that's not, it's the principle. | |
| Yeah, man. | |
| The principle is get a sandwich, bro. | |
| I would be thrilled. | |
| I mean, A, this probably wouldn't happen to me because I'm not a fuckin' freak who leaves fresh, fast food in the fridge for seven freakin' hours. | |
| But B, yeah, if your food gets fucked up and they're like, hey, here's more free food of the kind you like, I'd be like, fuck yeah, dude, came up. | |
| Fuck up my food again tomorrow. | |
| Yeah please. | |
| And also like how many sandwiches do you think he had because no one took a bite of a sandwich and put it in the fridge. | |
| That was like sandwich number four. | |
| He took a bite and said you know what I don't need this one right now. | |
| Wrapped it up put it away. | |
| Dude that's probably it. | |
| The thing is and it's it's the worst bite too because it's all bun. | |
| He shows the sandwich on camera. | |
| He preserves the evidence. | |
| And he opens up the sandwich. | |
| There's a clear bite. | |
| There's a clear semicircle out of the bun. | |
| But when he opens it up, the chicken patty is intact. | |
| Yeah, it's like no fluff. | |
| He was just amazed. | |
| This is dry. | |
| This is bullshit. | |
| I'll save this for later. | |
| Dude must just have like the gnarliest underbite. | |
| Match that shit up with dental records. | |
| That should be your first go-to. | |
| Well, I see the bottom bun is almost all the way gone, but the patty on the top bun is still very much intact. | |
| One thing we have to talk about with this is a fucking news station. | |
| This isn't Fox News. | |
| This isn't like, you know, some sensationalized online, you know, blaze or Daily Wire or something like that. | |
| This is supposedly local journalism, the kind that we're supposed to be lamenting the disappearance of. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And they said, oh, this cop told us someone bit his sandwich. | |
| And it's true! | |
| It actually happened. | |
| And not only did it actually happen without providing any evidence except a receipt for the purchase of a full sandwich. | |
| Not only are we going to report that it happened, we're just going to report on this story at all. | |
| At all. | |
| This is news. | |
| Why did he get to be a secret, but the McDonald's he went to didn't get to be a secret? | |
| I can't believe I'm defending McDonald's right now, but you know what I'm saying. | |
| Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying, bro. | |
| Thanks, man. | |
| Thank you. | |
| The idea, too, that McDonald's is just willing to bend over backwards, like, oh, here are our employee logs, uh, officers. | |
| Here's, like, personal information about our employees. | |
| We're going to harass our employees on behalf of you guys. | |
| Uh, please, please don't, like, say you don't like us, or whatever. | |
| Oh yeah, absolutely. | |
| I mean, if they want to have like a really effective, you know, raid, they could just... I can just go to McDonald's. | |
| They would turn over everything. | |
| So yeah, troubling to say the least. | |
| The just total capitulation of both our news institutions, journalistic institutions. | |
| Am I stretching that phrase a little too far? | |
| No, you're good. | |
| And also our corporate masters. | |
| Just the total subservience of both of these industries to the police. | |
| Fairly troubling. | |
| But this is something we of course already know the way that The way that journalistic outlets just reproduce police briefings as fact. | |
| Just print police reports as fact. | |
| This is it. | |
| Conditioned, just as, you know, citizens of this country, as people in this country, we're conditioned to say, well, what does the police report say? | |
| Let's get just, you know, no nonsense, no opinion, no spin. | |
| What does the police report say? | |
| And this is the kind of shit the police report says. |
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