We celebrate 9/11 by reading a bunch of dumb, racist comments that remind us of what it was like directly after 9/11. Joe Scarborough thinks Trump making America look bad is literally worse than 9/11, trump fans literally want him executed on the White House lawn. Also: Orange County high schoolers are racist, and patriotism is weird. Listen to the full episode at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult
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| The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned. | |
| We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up. | |
| It's not beautiful when you go across that border. | |
| Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you. | |
| All their environment, all the time. | |
| Stay tuned. | |
| Alright, I'm Alexander Edward. | |
| And I'm Tony Boswell. | |
| And we are Minion Death Cult. | |
| The world is ending. | |
| The software that we normally use to film and broadcast this show is responsible. | |
| We're documenting it. | |
| We had a whole thing set up for tonight that just crashed miserably. | |
| So I'm drinking some wine to celebrate. | |
| I am 100% positive that what we had planned is so ingenious that First of all, you did not put tape over your front-facing camera, and the FBI saw this whole thing coming, and they shut this whole thing down. | |
| Saw what whole thing? | |
| Oh, the thing we were going to do? | |
| The thing we were going to do? | |
| They shut it down. | |
| Yeah, that's a good point. | |
| It was either the FBI or the Russians. | |
| Right. | |
| But really, what's the difference? | |
| Wait, no, you're supposed to love the FBI and hate the Russians. | |
| Oh, true. | |
| Yeah, they're our last stand against the Russians. | |
| Hey, everybody, it's your 9-11 episode. | |
| It is. | |
| Welcome. | |
| Welcome to it. | |
| You know it was happening. | |
| This is one you're going to remember forever, is how we're going to phrase it. | |
| You're going to remember it forever. | |
| Just to start off, an amazing standalone comment from a human being named Damian Jordan, who decided to type out, I know Bush did something behind the scenes in 9-11, but I know for a fact he was forced into it by a more powerful group of people. | |
| Bush genuinely loved this country, but last time I checked, he wasn't the one who flew those planes into those buildings. | |
| No, he didn't do it. | |
| He just gave the order. | |
| Not personally. | |
| He just gave the order, yeah. | |
| You know, Hitler never actually personally killed a Jew. | |
| He genuinely loved Germany, too. | |
| He genuinely loved Germany. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It was a bigger force pushing him to do that. | |
| The Lord. | |
| The Lord pushed him to do that. | |
| I love, yeah. | |
| He did something. | |
| He did part of 9-11. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I know he, he's not, I know he's not, his hands aren't clean of this. | |
| Bush did, like, three-eighths of 9-11. | |
| Today on Fractions. | |
| I love, but, but, but, I know for a fact he was forced into it by a more powerful group of people. | |
| So, like, not even peer pressure. | |
| No. | |
| Like, superior pressure. | |
| What's, what's like the threat that, that, what was the greater threat than that? | |
| Hey listen, if you don't kill thousands of your own people, we are going to, uh, you know, send out those pictures of you naked running like, uh, those naked pictures of when you're a frat or something like that. | |
| I don't know. | |
| What's the, what's the threat? | |
| How do you threat Bush? | |
| Uh, yeah, dude, I don't know. | |
| You're not going to get to play president anymore. | |
| I don't know. | |
| We're going to take it away from you. | |
| You're going to, you're not going to get to own a losing baseball team anymore. | |
| What baseball team is he on? | |
| The Rangers? | |
| Texans. | |
| Yeah, the Rangers, yeah. | |
| The Ranger Texans? | |
| He owns that baseball team? | |
| Think he owned the Rangers for a while? | |
| Probably, that makes sense. | |
| Damn. | |
| What a charmed life, man. | |
| What a sick life. | |
| Duo 9-11, never winning a pennant, that's your punishment right there. | |
| Listen, Bush did a little bit of 9-11, but he didn't want to. | |
| He didn't inhale 9-11. | |
| - Hail 9/11. - This is... | |
| One response to this I saw was like, Bush got cold feet at doing 9/11 at the last second and tried to cancel it, but it was too late. | |
| It was too late. | |
| It was like this. | |
| It seemed heartfelt, right? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It seemed like, no, he really had to change your heart, but it was too late. | |
| The plans were in action. | |
| What a sad reality. | |
| Bush did 9-11, but it was only because he bumped into a table that was holding a lot of dominoes that were stacked up. | |
| And they started going and he was running after the dominoes to try and stop them but he couldn't get there in time and the dominoes hit like a mouse's tail and scared the mouse and everything was done after that. | |
| And then, uh, the cage fell. | |
| I mean, well, the towers fell, but the cage fell onto the mouse. | |
| The metaphorical cage. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, he didn't, he didn't necessarily, he didn't fly those planes, but he did maybe place some of the explosives along the way. | |
| Cause we all know like that wasn't, planes aren't going to make that happen. | |
| Like we all know the science is there. | |
| Listen, Bush isn't the one who digitally rendered those planes onto that footage. | |
| He may have ordered it done, but he's not the one who actually went into the computer and rendered the visuals. | |
| No, he's just not that talented, but he did take the order for that. | |
| Tell you what, man. | |
| Jet fuel might not be able to melt steel beams, but these farts I got going probably could. | |
| Oh yeah? | |
| Bad over there? | |
| Yep, pretty bad. | |
| Okay. | |
| Thanks for the warning. | |
| I'm going to ignore that warning, just like Bush ignored the warning about Osama bin Laden being determined to attack the country. | |
| Yeah, no, no. | |
| Bush wearing, like, the aviator suit with the helmet and stuff inspired, like, the 9-11 terrorists to fly the plane into the 9-11. | |
| They said if he can do it, we can all fly a plane. | |
| They're like, a plane, that's how I'll do it. | |
| Uh, okay. |