In honor of Labor Day, we're talking workers' rights, the unfortunate strength of police unions, and a potential new holiday: Capital Day Also: Nike debuts a new ad featuring Colin Kapernick, and wouldn't you know it? White people are freakin' pissed! MY DAD DESERVES TO BE IN THAT AD, YOU PIECE OF SH*T. Watch and subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaXrtTt4xoQhrHQeZyWIRoQ Support on patreon and get a bonus episode every week: http://Patreon.com/miniondeathcult
Yeah, like I was thinking about it after I said it.
It's just not cool than that.
It's just not visible.
We almost seem to like make you a fake background to put back there.
You know like just to put like right where you're... Like an Acme tunnel, but instead of a tunnel it's like a really interesting background with lots of books and records and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Take a picture of that and put it, blow it up, put it right there.
We should do a matte painting.
A matte painting of like an interesting man cave.
Yeah, totally.
Totally man cave.
Something that's only described as a man cave.
Yeah, something with a lot of culture.
Yeah, exactly.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to go to the desert.
All there in Barton, Houston.
Stay tuned.
Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
What did we decide on?
Nike.
Nike is just doing it.
We're documenting it.
We're just documenting it.
We're just documenting it.
So we have a wonderful jam-packed episode for you folks today.
We are talking about Labor Day on Labor Day.
Quite ironic.
We're also talking about the Nike Colin Kaepernick ad, which is just the fucking end of the world.
People are bummed.
And also, from the liberal boycott side, talking about In-N-Out.
Republicans are in, but I'm out.
That's for sure.
Up top, I just want to thank our two new Patreon subscribers, Tyler and Jeff Wood.
Hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Thank you for your support.
If you want to hear a bonus episode every week, except last week because I had some personal family issues, You can subscribe at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
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For three bucks every month.
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This is an old credit card ad.
It would say something along the lines of like, Patreon, $3.99, but extra content?
Priceless.
It's priceless, yeah.
We're going to make that one day and only Patreon will see it, but you'll never know unless you subscribe.
It's going to be so worth it.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be so worth the effort of making that.
It's going to be priceless.
It's going to be exactly this, but I won't be wearing a shirt.
Right, and the listeners are like, what do I care if Tony's not wearing a shirt?
Well, that's because you're fucking listening to the show and you're not watching it on YouTube like a fucking idiot.
What are you doing?
All the people on YouTube just ruin the keyboard with all the drool.
You gotta go to the YouTube.
You gotta search Minion Death Cult on YouTube and watch this shit because we're posting it there and we are currently at 78 subscribers on YouTube which is pretty amazing.
Never thought we would get there and it's really cool that we're at 78 because I can laugh at all the like Right-wing incels who are commenting on our stuff with only, like, three subscribers?
Like, I'm at a point where I can say, pfft, three subscribers.
Loser!
Wow.
Uh, no, yeah.
If you're watching this on YouTube, please like, please comment with something positive or something negative about the haters.
Yeah, it's real easy.
You can just say, like, Ty... Yeah, with, like, five I's, though.
Or be like, tight, fuck the haters, and like, then we're good.
Right, you could be like, hey, you know how I feel about the haters.
You don't even have to say like, fuck them, if you don't want to curse.
You can just imply that they should be fucked.
I'll post that, and you can just copy and paste that.
It would be so convenient for you guys.
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Only the Patreon listeners get the copy and paste option.
Dude, I love this.
It's like a Senate write-in campaign for our YouTube page.
All you need to do is call.
We do the rest of the work.
To MinionDeathCult, please continue making this content.
Signed, blank.
But you had to, like, fill in your own name.
Postscript, fuck the haters.
Yeah, okay.
So today is Labor Day.
So yeah, MinionDeathCult on YouTube.
Go find, subscribe, like, comment.
Hey, if you see this shit on Facebook, like this shit.
You know, it's one thing to follow the show, to like the page.
You gotta interact with the page.
That's how more people see the post.
It's stupid, it sucks to ask this shit from you, but this is how you show love for us.
Like, comment, share, etc.
It's true.
It feels corny every time you do it, but it's good for us.
It's good for you.
It's good for the world.
You're welcome, world.
Hey, it's good and good for you.
That's like what my grandpa says about radishes.
Yeah.
They taste good and they're good for you.
Aren't they good for your eyes or some shit?
That's carrots you're thinking about.
I feel like radishes aren't bad for your eyes.
Probably not.
You're probably safe in saying that.
On that note, I didn't eat radishes, hence the glasses.
If only.
If only you had known that radishes weren't bad for your eyes previously.
Yep.
I would have known.
If I had eaten them as a kid, I would have been fine.
Yeah.
But as a child, I was like, Mom, no radishes.
Thank you.
Okay, so today...
Today's Labor Day.
We're working for you guys, even though we shouldn't, against our own interests as the working class.
We're working for the listener.
In order to show support for Labor Day, I'm of course wearing my Teamsters shirt here.
I'm proud Teamster, proud laborer, and also, furthermore, I'm also growing out my mustache to show solidarity with the fellow workers that are the police force.
You're a good man.
Solidarity.
Because we all know, like, the police have, like, probably the most powerful union in America.
You're thinking of, um, wrong month, dude.
That's, that's for Movember, but it's Povember.
For the, for the, growing mustard for the, the Popos.
Yeah.
Povember, mustache solidarity.
Well, I mean, I guess if you're like, uh, If you just, like, want to half-ass your support for the cops, you only grow it out in November.
True, true.
But not you.
No, I grow it out in September, and then I shave it in October, and then I grow it out again in November.
Two months.
I respect that.
Good job.
It takes it out of you to grow it, so yeah.
No, I think it's funny how strong, like, police unions are.
Like, imagine working at a job where you can just kill people, like, all day.
And, like, that's your job description.
And it's, like, mostly illegal to even question it.
Yep.
Yep.
Like, that's how strong their union is.
So what happened?
You said work-related injury?
What happened to your back?
Well, I wasn't really ready when I fired the gun.
And I totally pulled something in my lower back.
I think I pinched a sciatic when I was shooting that colored man.
And I just haven't been the same, so I need some time off.
I was headlocking with my back instead of my legs.
See, we're joking, but this just makes me think of that one cop who got powerbombed.
Did you see that video?
Yeah, it's just tight.
Yeah dude that's just tight and that just shows like what are what our troops what are what our citizen troops go through you know you just like that's that's what they uh that's the sacrifice they make sometimes you get power bombs on the street.
What I love about that video is the person either behind the camera or behind them is like Bro, you're wildin'.
Don't do it.
You know you just powerbombed the cop, right?
You need to chill.
And I'm so happy that person ended up dead.
And that sounds crazy, but I'm so happy that guy ended up dead.
And he gave up after that.
He laid straight down.
He got a powerbomb in and he was like, I'm good.
I'm good now.
I'm good now.
- Yeah, worth it.
I just hope that he got a cell phone in prison so that he can show people, "No, no, no, it's cool, this is me." Yeah.
This is me.
Just like, yeah, just free commissary.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah, that shit, dude gets tossed.
That's the thing, is like anytime I see a photo of like, or a video of some dude fighting back, you know, against the cops, I'm like, A, this rules, but B, this is gonna get this dude in a lot of trouble.
Yeah.
So like, if you see this happening, like, in interaction with the cops, I can't stress this enough, Videotape it.
Absolutely videotape it.
If it shows somebody powerbombing the cops, don't share that part of it.
Heavily edit it to where it shows the cop getting owned but you can't prove who did it.
Make it look like the monster from Lost is powerbombing the cop.
And you can't tell who's doing it?
I would just say like cut right after the powerbomb and be like, look, this cop was sleeping on the job.
Slept.
Slept.
Nope.
Yeah.
So that's why I admire the police is because of their strong, uh, strong union, strong solidarity.
And they can take a bump.
They can take a bump.
I respect that.
Um, yeah, okay, so that's our first topic for the day.
Uh, we are talking about Labor Day.
Right?
Labor Day.
The day for laborers.
More like, Labor Day.
Like Snoozefest?
Yeah, like Billy Madison.
You know what I mean?
That classic?
And that's how Occupy Democrats Logic feels about this.
Occupy Democrats Logic is, of course, a right-wing page on Facebook who just, like, owns Occupy Democrats left and right.
Fucks them up.
Owns them with logic and facts and, like, well-actualies, you know?
You ever, like, Walk under a skyscraper window and you just get crushed by a well actually.
And it was actually a penny that someone dropped from the top of the skyscraper.
That's all it takes.
Everyone knows that.
It's two pennies.
Occupy Democrats logic drops there two cents.
Drills right through the skulls of liberals everywhere.
Done.
Like a car engine.
So the original post from Occupy Democrats goes, on this Labor Day, if you're benefiting from weekends, minimum wage, overtime, 40-Hour Work Week, Workers' Comp, Lunch Breaks, Child Labor Laws, Sick Leave, Social Security, OSHA, Maternity Leave, Paternity Leave, Vanca Union.
And it's got, like, an American flag in there to, like, show that, like, this is real America!
This is how America does it.
This is true patriotism, is fighting back against capitalism.
Well, OccupyDemocratsLogic adds, Unions did not create weekends, 8 hour work days, a living wage, 5 day, 40 hour work weeks.
Henry Ford did in 1926 to attract better workers from his competitors for his automobile plant.
This is a totally normal person typing this out.
Capitalism and competition creates higher wages and better working conditions.
Hashtag happy Labor Day.
Fuck.
You know, when you have this amazing, wholesome character that you want to use as your poster child.
Like when the Republicans say, we're the party of Lincoln!
Yeah.
Let's use Henry Ford.
He made a car, right?
Efficiently.
See, the thing about that, I mean, I know what you're hinting at, you haven't exactly said it yet, but the thing about that is like when you're alluding to past Republicans, like it's nice because past Republicans were progressives, like Lincoln, like Teddy Roosevelt.
However, when you refer historically to an actual right-wing person, like Henry Ford, you run into a little something called antisemitism.
Just a little bit.
Just like a little bit of antisemitism.
Just like a little bit of four-volume books on antisemitism.
Henry Ford was such a piece of shit that he wrote and published the four-volume anti-Semitic publication known as the International Jew.
The International Jew.
That was required.
If you were to sell Ford cars in your car lot, you had to have that available in the lobby.
Also, if you want to, I don't know, be part of the Ron Paul campaign, also have to have that.
Also, if you wanted to help us in the engineering for like, you know, a bunch of awful tools used in the actual Holocaust.
If you wanted to be involved in the engineering to create literal death traps, you might also call yourself Henry Ford.
Is that what he did?
Yeah, he definitely was part of that.
What'd he do?
What'd he make?
He, he helped with, he was part of like the development of, of Volkswagen in general.
Oh, okay.
And also developed a lot of the machinery.
Not like the literal death traps, but a lot of the machinery that was used to aid death camps in just anything that helped Germans out.
Sure.
He helped out with, he would be like, oh, this is a cool idea, check this out.
What if he was just doing like a Schindler's List thing and all the machinery was actually really shoddy and broke?
And we just never knew about it.
No, he actually used his formula for a healthy work environment that we're referring to here.
The eight-hour workdays, the breaks, and stuff like that.
Totally his formula.
Which we've learned, which has nothing to do with human rights, has everything to do with efficiency in productivity.
Yeah, this is like one of the stupidest things I've ever seen.
Yeah, it's fucking wild.
They're already in camp.
You may as well put them to work.
Cool.
But you've got to give them breaks because it turns out, after a certain amount of hours, the human body doesn't perform as well.
So let's make them efficient.
And you're not feeding them anyway, so you may as well make their bodies work as best they can in other conditions.
Yeah.
This is, like, one of the stupidest things I've ever seen.
Yeah.
This meme.
It's fucking wild.
We're talking about real stupid brain shit here.
I like how they list, you know, the original Occupy Democrats meme lists, like, 10, 11 workers' rights that have been gained by the labor movement.
And then in order to, like, own that, Occupy Democrat's logic posts, like, four things that supposedly rebut.
You know, like, Henry Ford, he did the weekends and eight-hour workdays, and probably OSHA, too.
Maybe?
I don't know.
Probably created the governmental regulatory body known as OSHA.
Yep, everyone knows that.
So fucking stupid.
The labor movement was going on for a long time before 1926.
Labor unions fought, struck, and died for the eight-hour day, the five-hour work week.
Going back to 1866, there were protests, strikes of hundreds of thousands of people.
350,000 people nationwide, on May Day, in I think 1866, went on strike for the 8 hour work day.
The original May Day.
The original May Day.
Could you imagine the impact that would have on the economy today?
It would have an impact on the economy.
If we were to have like the inflation equivalent to that today, we would have a huge impact on the economy.
None of this shit happened because Henry Ford is a benevolent capitalist.
Like you were saying, a charitable interpretation of this is that Henry Ford realized that productivity increased when laborers were happier.
That's like, that's like the right-wing interpretation of this.
Is that, oh, it benefits the employer to do this shit.
Exactly.
He said charitable.
That's the most it was.
If you're like a liberal or a left-leaning person, do not use this argument.
Nope.
Do not use the argument that, oh, it's beneficial to your employer to only work eight hours or to have a happy employee.
That's like the equivalent of saying, oh, it's beneficial to have illegal, undocumented immigrants here because they help the economy.
That's not the point.
No.
The point is...
Capital cannot exist without labor.
We have a strength, by virtue of our labor, we have a strength in this country that we have not flexed since 19-something.
And like you said earlier, we have not considered the inflation on the value of our labor.
It's wild.
So yeah, this meme is stupid.
So dumb.
So this is in 1926, Henry Ford implemented this stuff.
Teddy Roosevelt's presidential candidacy, he ran on the eight-hour workday years before this.
Years before 1926, like 1921 or something like that.
This was already a popular idea.
It was already an idea that had spent decades that unions had been fighting for for decades.
Fighting for and literally dying for.
Literally getting executed for protesting.
And that just shows the head start that capitalism's had.
You know, there was a point in time where people were working 12 hour days regardless because that's the only job they can get.
Yeah.
So capitalism had like this head start to where we had to realize, oh shit, this isn't cool.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
to where we had to realize, oh, this is not the way we should be living.
And then start fighting for it.
And it took so long for it to become such a regular idea to where when someone implements it, we lift them up.
I see what you're saying.
You're saying it's like the, going back to a comment we had last week, it's like the boiling water theory.
Exactly.
It's like a theory of momentum in terms of economics.
The water was already started.
We just realized halfway through that it was like, Oh shit, the water's boiling.
Yeah.
And it's like, you know, it's what we're going through now.
Like we've seen the degradation of unions.
We've seen the degradation of workers' rights and it takes, we're already in this rut of, uh, Marginalized labor.
Absolutely, yeah.
It's taken a while for us to catch back up.
Yeah, absolutely.
Just to put some real transparency on top of it.
I live, my personal life, my real life.
You live, huh?
I live, I exist.
You made that choice.
Barely.
I live in an area that does cost a lot to live in.
California?
California.
Southern California.
The Inland Empire.
Redlands specifically.
Redlands.
Riverside area.
What street?
Specifically.
Um, my address is, uh, no, but it, it, it costs a lot to live there anyways, right?
I make above, well above what's considered the national minimum wage.
I make about $13 an hour, right?
And I'm still struggling to be able to pay I could never pay rent on a one-bedroom place there.
Rent on a one-bedroom place in my area, in a 20-mile radius from where I live currently, a one-bedroom rate is about $1,100 plus.
I cannot pay that on $13 an hour.
And that's more than the minimum wage.
And that's significantly more than the national minimum wage.
Just to put a very real, very real pin on what's going on here when it comes to the value of our labor and the fact that we have not really thought about that in a long time.
We talk about minimum wage, but we don't talk about the value of our labor.
Well, you know, if minimum wage didn't exist, like, uh, you'd probably make more money somehow.
Yeah, totally, right?
Yeah.
Because I'll just be paid for my actual value, right?
Dude, I tried that one time.
I went to a boss.
Not that long ago.
Actually, no.
I'm gonna go ahead and name names.
Um... I, uh, worked for a guy... Oh my god, I can't remember his fucking last name.
So much for naming names.
His name is Scott...
Scott Ian.
Scott.
He owns a bike shop.
I don't know, dude.
Scott.
Anyways, I told him, I said, hey man, so since I've been here, I've made you this much more money.
Myself.
The work I have done has made you this much more money.
You still won't give me exactly full time?
I would like full time and I would like to maybe make a little bit more money an hour.
And I can make you this much more money with that extra time I'm there.
I can make you... I gave him actual values.
And he literally just said, oh no it's fine, I'll find somebody else.
And he did.
Wow.
And I left.
And then I recently was talking to somebody about the same job.
And, um, I was talking about that and I was like, yeah, like I just, he wouldn't pay me.
He was like, Oh, well, cause someone else is doing your job now.
And I was like, Oh, that's cool.
Well, who's doing that job?
The guy who's doing the job I was doing is doing two jobs on top of that and still making the same amount of money I was making.
That poor, that poor guy.
I mean, that's, that's like, That's why solidarity is so important.
Exactly.
He didn't know.
He didn't know.
He didn't know he was doing that.
That's not what I'm saying.
That's not what I'm saying.
But like when labor is so demoralized and labor is so marginalized like That's how they're getting away with it.
People are so desperate for work that there are people who are willing to work three jobs for low pay just to survive.
He was doing my job on top of being like a mechanic at the shop too.
And like I couldn't imagine doing that.
And what really sucks is like this guy who I worked for has like a local public access conservative radio show.
And I can't remember his fucking name.
And I wish I could.
Sounds really cool, though.
He sucks.
Yeah.
But yeah, anyways.
See, that's like real life.
Just to put a pin on this and how real this shit is, that's real life.
Yeah, I mean, let's go to this next comment.
I've also never been part of a union, and that has a lot to do with it, too.
Yeah, well they're few and far between as we'll get into with this comment.
Bill Reeves says on this Occupy Democrats Logic post, unions were helpful.
Line break.
A long while ago.
Period.
Line break.
But what have they really done in the last 50 plus years?
This is one of the top comments.
That's what I'm asking, dude.
What have unions done for me?
Yeah, get destroyed by the right wing.
That's literally what they've done in the last 50 years, is get constantly undermined and eroded by capital in this country.
I love this take from the right wing.
Like, oh, if unions are so great, what have they done for me?
Oh, you mean you who voted for Reagan twice?
And both Bushes?
And Clinton, who isn't a friend of labor at all?
It's like they have nothing for you because they haven't had a chance to.
No.
Like, union membership was never 100%, but it was definitely more than, like, the 11% that it is now.
Absolutely, yeah.
I work in a right-to-work state.
What have the unions ever done for me?
God, dude, like the amount of jobs I've lost that I would have kept if I had a union behind me.
Because you could have just been like so lazy.
The answer is four, but I mean, yeah.
It's very true.
Very true.
Unions were helpful in gaining workers' rights, but we don't need those anymore.
I don't understand the concept of acknowledging that unions had a place at one time, and then thinking that, no, everything's cool.
Literally, now you're just retired, right?
Yeah, that's all it is, yeah.
You got yours.
So why have unions?
I've already got a pension.
I'm living on a pension.
Why do I need a union?
I'm fine.
It's wild.
Either that or, like, I've always had enough money to not worry about it.
Don't sweat it.
But even that, you, like, wouldn't acknowledge the need for, you know what I mean?
Like, acknowledging the need for, like, oh, cap, like, companies are good now.
Oh, yep, absolutely.
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, no, they used to be bad, but companies are good now.
They're fine now.
I'm getting paid now.
You know all those, like, liberal companies we fucking hate?
Like Amazon and every Silicon Valley company?
All of them.
They're good and trustworthy now.
Absolutely.
You know, like, they look out for their employees and I fucking hate them.
Which is, which is funny cause like on it, I mean, yeah, if you get, it's fucked about those companies.
Yeah.
If you're not like a regular person, if you're not like a person working in the warehouse, if you're like a, someone writing code, yeah, you get paid pretty well and you get taken care of.
You get paid pretty well in those companies, but they've, they've raised the cost of living so high in those areas that you still are like barely making enough to survive.
Well, not only that, but the amount of people that are that, that are the people writing code, the people who are like developing the company, and not the majority of the people working, the actual laborers, the people that are working in the warehouses, the amount of people that are taken care of is maybe, maybe 7% of the whole company.
What do you mean?
What are you saying?
The people they're taking care of.
The higher class.
The well-paid people.
They're taking care of a very small amount of their employees.
There are people who I've met, who I've known that work for Amazon.
That are very happy, that get taken care of, that have benefits and have a very beautiful work-life balance.
And there's other people who are working in the warehouse who are having sensors strapped to their fingertips, literally their fingertips and their entire body, to figure out how efficient they are working.
That's so fucked up.
And are telling you to bend your elbow this much, don't bend your elbow that much.
That's a real thing.
This is a very real thing that's happening.
That's why I'm anti-Fitbit.
I always knew it was going to be weaponized against the working class.
Not me.
I love the satisfaction of being told I've taken enough steps.
But that's a very real thing.
So I'm saying, like, you know, a solid amount of the people that are being paid by this company are being treated like fucking... They're just data.
They're just data.
That's all they are.
And they're treated that way.
Their value is finite.
It's very small.
But moving on.
Salvatore Swera says, I don't know about you, but whenever I see a non-union job, the pay is shit.
Example, Catholic Cemetery of Chicago get paid over $25.
Another non-union cemetery a few miles down the road gets $13.
So, like, some contrarianism in this comment section.
Like, hey, guess what?
Union workers get paid more.
They get paid more.
They're literally valued more.
Imagine that.
Crazy.
Imagine how that works.
Yeah.
This is your reply.
You want to read this reply?
I mean, it wasn't literally your reply.
This whole thing was your comment.
but do you want to read the reply to Salvatore's? - John F. Tamburo says, "For what job?
My parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents are all at the Chicago Catholic Cemetery.
What job pays $50,000 a year?" So, wait, your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents? - Great-grandparents.
They're in the cemetery, but they're not for jobs.
I think they're buried at these cemeteries?
What the fuck is this comment?
This is a weird comment, dude.
Listen, my parents are dead.
They're not getting paid anything.
Where's the union for that?
I think what he's saying is like, hey, listen.
I got three generations of people buried at this cemetery.
I go there all the time, and I don't see anybody driving an Audi.
Yeah, where are these jobs?
I don't see anyone there.
What a weird-ass comment.
So fucking crazy, like, and it felt good about it.
Felt like you really stuck into them.
$25 an hour?
I got three generations of people buried in that cemetery.
Who's making fu- What?
Yeah.
What?
Okay.
What are you talking about?
It's a pretty big non sequitur.
You fucking crazy person.
Listen, I've seen the floral arrangements.
Those things aren't worth $25 an hour.
Not even close, not even close.
I mean, how many times can you dig a hole?
You know?
What are you gonna do?
You're just gonna make sure it's still... You're making sure no one's calling out?
What am I paying you for?
I think if your body is buried at a cemetery, like, you should get a per diem or something like that from the cemetery.
For providing... Fertilizer.
Fertilizer for the grass, yeah.
Fertilizer and also, like, you have to pay for that headstone, right?
Oh yeah, like a lot.
You have to pay for that headstone.
A lot of money.
You're like beautifying that cemetery.
The best part about this is like cemeteries are one of the biggest hustles in America.
Oh, absolutely.
It's insane.
That's why like every week on my route or around my house I see people gathering money just to have a fucking funeral for their dad who died.
All the time.
Or their baby daughter who died.
All the time, yeah.
It's, it's insane.
We just love, we love to leave a legacy that is a brick that says our names in it.
I mean, even that, like, that would be cheap.
Oh yeah.
You know, it's not the expensive part of it.
Okay, so this is another real stupid fucking post that I found that I loved.
It's a little, like, infographic.
It's a little, like, meme, you know, but like a professional meme.
It looks informative.
I'm about to learn something right now.
Yeah, it's like a mature informative meme.
Break it down for me.
The top text says, Happy Capital Day?
Question mark?
There's like a little question mark on a little, like, what do you call it?
Clipart calendar?
And then it says, Since labor and capital are hugely dependent upon each other, I wouldn't say, uh, upon each other, quite.
Might frame that relationship slightly differently.
Why do we have a, quote, labor day in America, but not a capital day?
Good question.
And we still... Tony and I still don't know if this is satire or not.
Yeah, I think it's genuine.
I think it's genuine and it's fucking sad.
Like, this would be hilarious if it were a joke.
Yeah, really clever.
It's some really heavy stuff.
So then we have like, uh, two interlocking puzzle pieces.
Real quick.
My best, my favorite part about this is like, it's not just your regular puzzle piece.
It's like the complicated puzzle piece.
It's not just like the nub going in like the hole.
It's not just one nub.
It's like the nub with like a hook.
Like a nub with a hook and then another nub?
It's three fingers interlocking instead of just two.
It's so complicated.
It's two puzzle pieces side by side and each puzzle piece has a nub and a groove and so they're they're nubbing each other.
But what's ironic about, not ironic, it might make sense, actually maybe it makes complete sense, is that when you see these two pieces, they're so stupid and unique, you know they belong together.
Like, no one cuts a puzzle this way.
This is the one, this is the two pieces that are cut so complex that you know they go together.
Instant, yeah.
So the left side is, the left puzzle piece is blue, which is odd, because it says capital.
Weird.
Capital without labor.
...means machines with no operators or financial resources without the manpower to invest in.
Have you seen the... Kevin Bacon in that movie?
Overdrive?
Oh, Maximum Overdrive?
The one where the big rigs come alive and run people over?
Yeah, you mean the movie where literally the only time that capital is able to exist without labor?
Exactly, yeah.
Is when Earth passes through the tail of a mystical comet and all machines power themselves?
Again, one of the reasons why I feel like this is hopefully satire Still, I don't think it is, but I want it to be because that would make more sense.
You know how like... It should say capital, the plot of Maximum Overdrive.
I love this.
Capital without labor means machines with no operators or financial resources without the manpower to invest in.
You know how like, with just capital you can just like buy machines that no one built?
Yep, totally.
They just exist.
They just exist in nature.
You just think about it.
You know how, like, with just capital you can buy a factory that spontaneously erupted into reality?
Well, I don't know if you know about this, but when you do enough money making and praying, there's a 3D printer out there that just does what you want to happen.
God's 3D printer?
If you donate enough money to your church, a 3D printer will make whatever you need.
But who printed that 3D printer?
It's a chicken and egg situation, you know?
And then on the right side, labor without capital, which is red.
I'm assuming for communism.
Scary.
Labor without capital means plenty of people working, but doing it with sticks instead of bulldozers.
Or starting a small enterprise with pocket change instead of a bank loan.
Uh, yep.
Yep.
Totally.
That's uh, that's exactly how everything started.
Yeah.
Have you heard the story of Jeff Bezos?
No, no.
Well, Jeff Bezos is a man, he owns Amazon now, speaking of Amazon.
Well, his book selling company of his garage was so close to going under, but luckily he just hit it with sticks.
He did not use a bank loan, did you know that?
No, I didn't.
Yeah, no bank loans.
He hit it with sticks, and a small loan from his parents of $250,000, but mostly sticks.
No banks.
Just $250,000 in sticks.
I mean, you're making their point for them that, like, without capital, Amazon couldn't exist.
You just need rich parents.
And, like, that's kind of the best argument against capital.
Is just be born to wealth.
Is, like, without capital, Amazon wouldn't exist.
That's actually true.
You know what I mean?
Could you imagine a world?
I couldn't possibly.
I did just order some pretty cool things on Prime.
I'm excited about getting them in the mail.
Tomorrow.
Only Capital can make bulldozers.
Okay.
Okay, dude.
You can't wish a bulldozer, bro.
Bulldozers are like real expensive.
They're not cheap.
You couldn't afford a bulldozer wheel by itself.
You can't just make a bulldozer, dude.
Yeah, you couldn't even afford a tire for a bulldozer.
They're expensive as fuck.
Labor Day and Capital Day.
There's no good reason why we should have just one and not the other.
So, like, we need a day where, like, the owners of the factory or, like, the CEO or the shareholders.
A day where they can just kick back.
Just fucking relax!
A day where they can just take off and, like, you know, sit on their asses and just surf the internet or something.
I was going to make some joke about how Capital Day is Black Friday, but that's a really stressful day for them.
True.
They're on pins and needles waiting.
Waiting to see if they don't double or triple their profits.
Because you know that if someone doesn't die in the line, if someone doesn't get trampled, then you're probably not going to make that much money that day.
That's a Simpsons joke.
Simpsons did it.
When they when they debut the new Malibu Stacy doll and they're like watching like the store opening and they're like, wow, a trampling within point two seconds.
This is good.
We're good.
We're good.
Yeah, I think Mo gets trampled.
Oh, rip.
Who wears soccer cleats to the store?
OK, let's move on to the next topic.
We're running kind of long here.
Nike, Colin Kaepernick.
like probably the origin of this show like remember when Colin Kaepernick pissed off like thousands of sorry hundreds of thousands of white people and like that guy made a music video about it about how much he stood for the anthem Listen, there's a lot of talk right now about The Greatest White MC.
There's a lot of speak right now about that fucking fire-ass tracks that Eminem released.
There's a lot of talk about the rebuttal, the rebuttal to those tracks that Machine Gun Kelly put out.
But we all know The Greatest White MC is the one and only Hozier.
Okay.
We all know this.
See, I was gonna say, I mean, I'm kind of at, like, complete odds with you.
Don't talk about rap with me.
I was gonna say, I think the real Eminem is Adam Calhoun.
Five best rappers in the world.
Hozier, Hozier, Hozier, Dylan, and Adam Calhoun.
Wow.
So you're right.
That's still number one.
He's still number one.
Yeah.
All right.
No.
Colin Kaepernick back on the show again, making his third or fourth appearance on Minion Death Cult.
Probably close to 10, but yes.
In a Nike ad.
New Nike spokesperson.
The face of Nike.
One of the faces, yes.
For their like 30th anniversary of doing it.
Of making it happen, just doing it.
Just doing it to him?
Just doing it to him.
Yeah.
That's the name of this episode, right?
Sorry, I had to just do it to him.
Yep.
Just do it to him?
Just do it to him, yep, yep, absolutely.
Yeah, okay.
It's like a serious, straight-on, black-and-white portrait of Colin Kaepernick.
I'm sorry, this is just a black portrait, but yes.
No, he's half white.
I'm speaking on behalf of all of us.
This is just a black portrait?
I mean, it's a black passing portrait.
What do cops see?
What do cops see when they look at this portrait?
Well, they don't wait until they see the white of the eyes, that's for sure.
And it's too close for them.
Middle text.
Believe in something.
Even if it means sacrificing everything.
Bottom text.
Swoosh.
Just do it.
What if it just said bottom text?
Heavy.
Swoosh.
Bottom text.
I wish.
I would fucking love this so much.
Like right now I'm pretty... I'm pretty like eye-rolling about this ad, kinda.
It's always hard to feel bad for a millionaire.
Doesn't matter what the context is.
Don't get me wrong, this is my man.
This is my man.
Oh, he's cool.
He's my fucking dude.
He's cool.
It's just like this ad is about him.
It's not about police brutality.
It's not about white supremacy.
It's not about the police state.
It's not about socialism or capitalism.
Obviously, it's not about socialism.
It's like, why didn't they cash in on the fact that Trayvon was wearing a Nike hoodie?
Or why didn't they just say he was wearing a Nike hoodie and make that money?
They probably would have.
Probably tried.
They probably tried.
But then Reebok was like, no, that's our hoodie!
And we don't like blacks that much.
This is just like, it's cool, I guess, that Colin's making money off of it?
Like, I don't know.
I don't know how to feel about this ad.
It's conflicting because it's a couple things, right?
So, we have Colin Kaepernick being blackballed out of the NFL.
And we know this now because he's won his first appeal in court.
He got the right to a trial in court.
He's suing the NFL for conspiracy against employing him, basically.
All the teams.
And so far the court's saying, yes, you're right.
They're fucking you over.
That's not what the... The court's saying, you have cause to try this.
Exactly, yeah.
They haven't dismissed the case.
It's actually a pretty small step.
I doubt it'll go anywhere.
I just want to be optimistic like I do sometimes.
So you have that.
You have the fact that this guy who... I mean, I don't know how... He's not going to a job right now.
He's not cashing a check right now.
If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.
He's probably like doing speaking engagements.
But it's cool he's getting a check right now because he should... You know, if he didn't open his mouth or... By open his mouth, I mean bend his knee.
If he didn't bend his knee, he'd be making money right now.
So it's cool that Nike's doing this, right?
But we all know that it's under this... Underneath this facade is Nike just making money.
It's all performative.
It's all performative.
It's all just like Nike trying to do what they're doing.
So right now they're making a lot of money off of Activism?
So it's like it's like a it's the byproduct of a positive trend right?
Where like certain things become trendy and um there's enough of a mark it's good that there's enough of a market for this that they would do it exactly like they might be doing it for the all the wrong reasons but they're doing it and that's kind of cool which is just a reflection of the work that actual people are doing Exactly yeah it's like it's not so much they really believe in Kaepernick but they do believe in all the money from all the people that are supporting Kaepernick.
They recognize the tide of public opinion.
Yeah exactly.
I mean it's the same thing with all the uh You know, like corporate GLAAD companies like Bud Light being pro-gay or whatever.
Yeah, out of nowhere.
Like, who gives a shit?
I guess it's cool that a corporate entity is okay with me marrying a man.
I guess that's kind of cool.
I just feel like...
I just find it hard to believe that Anheuser-Busch didn't have something to do with Adam Lanza's death.
I feel like Anheuser-Busch maybe made some product that led to drunkenness, that led to hatred, that fueled hatred.
I feel like there were some cans involved in that.
There was definitely an empty Anheuser-Busch can or bottle in the back of that truck.
Adam Lanza was the shooter.
Sorry, was the shooter.
Yes, yeah, sorry.
But in the back of the back of the... That had something to do with something like that.
Sure.
I'm pretty sure that Anheuser-Busch has led to a lot of hate crimes.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's what I'm getting at here.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, totally.
For sure.
So they're just making up for it.
They're just trying to be like, cool, we like the dance now.
A lot of people didn't like this ad though.
Really?
A lot of people.
This is like new shit.
A lot of people are like still just steam pouring out of their ears on Facebook, on Twitter about this shit.
The ESPN Facebook post about it was real funny.
Colin Kaepernick is one of the faces of a new Nike campaign meant to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the brand's iconic Just Do It motto.
So this is like... It's like not even about Colin Kaepernick?
It's like it's about the phrase, Just Do It.
Which I wish it wasn't Just Do It, and I wish it was just, Fuck It.
Hey Nike.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Just do it live.
Fuck it.
Do it live.
Yeah.
So many amazing takes on this comment section.
This is the Nike post.
Let's do ESPN first.
Verlaine Townsend.
That name.
That crop.
Which is ironic because the only Verlaine I know is, like, extremely Union.
She was, like, a shop steward.
But she's also, you know, retired.
She works at Retired now.
But, um, no.
Shoutouts to Verlaine.
No, yeah, seriously, shoutout Verlaine.
Family friend.
Strong, strong-brained old woman who loves cats and, like, talking shit to managers.
Verlaine, this Verlaine, though, says, HE HAS SACRIFICED NOTHING!
It's, like, referring to the copy in the ad about, like, sometimes.
Sometimes you have to sacrifice everything to win something.
All he did was sacrifice his shoe collection to people in need.
That's a real thing he did.
And like millions of dollars and all that stuff.
All the good things he actually did.
But I think his shoe collection was literally worth millions of dollars and he donated all of his shoes to people that needed shoes.
Oh wow.
It's a real thing.
At the end of it, I think he had like 10 pairs of shoes, which is a lot of shoes for someone not sponsored by Nike.
So he, like, just gave the shoes to people to wear instead of selling them?
He auctioned them off and gave all the money away.
Oh, that's good.
But then he also- I thought you meant like he literally gave his, like, dunk collection to homeless people.
But then he also gave a lot of the ones that weren't, like, gonna auction for anything, gave a lot of them away to people that need them.
Yeah.
Okay, that's tight.
So Valerie goes on to say, I love this comment because it's basically just like, NIKE!
"My dad, who served two tours in Vietnam and spent 22 years serving this country and came home to hostility along with my brothers who served and thousands of others like them, are the ones who have sacrificed for this country!
They're the real heroes!" I love this comment because it's basically just like, "Nike!
Give my dad a job!" "Employ my dad!" What are you gonna do?
Are you gonna, like, are they gonna make, like, some, like, Nike, like, trigger finger glove?
It's gonna help with trigger finger fatigue.
Yeah, no.
Nike needs to make, uh, smooth glide catheters.
Use my dad as the face.
I love this shit.
Also, she's like old as fuck.
Like, in this picture, her dad is like super old.
Dude, her dad's at the Chicago Cemetery.
Yeah, for sure, getting paid.
And like, what the, what the, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Talk about special snowflakes, like everyone in this comment section wanted their vet dad to be the face of Nike.
But what about the dad, the job that my dad chose?
Like, think about that for a second.
My dad sacrificed the lives of hundreds of Vietnamese children.
Napalm affected us too.
Americans were affected by Agent Orange as well.
Where's our money at, Gatorade?
With your orange coolers?
No, Agent Orange, that was, uh... Those were freezer pops.
You're thinking of freezer... What's that?
Otter pops?
Otter pops.
Definitely an otter pop flavor named Agent Orange, yeah.
Some decrepit otter on the picture on the popsicle.
I just love this comment though.
What about my dad?
Give my dad money!
He could jump high.
He was good.
There were so many comments like this.
So many comments were like, what about Pat Tillman?
And this goes back to the original Minion Death Cult episode.
What are you going to say?
How about people still trying to make the Vietnam War like a righteous war?
Still.
Oh yeah.
In 2018, people are still like, but my dad did good things in Vietnam.
It's like, even your dad was probably like, yeah, that shit was whack.
We'll see.
Okay, so on this podcast, uh, Tony and I, uh, strong liberals.
Little bit.
Big ol' liberals.
And so, as liberals, we don't agree with Colin Kaepernick being the face of this ad.
We would like a real American hero to be the face of this ad.
Somebody like John McCain.
Make John McCain the face of Nike.
And that way he can literally make $52,000 a year while in Chicago Cemetery.
Are you picturing a beautiful orange casket with a swoosh on it?
Yeah, totally.
It's just a picture of a casket with, like, Meghan McCain folded over it, crying in black and white.
And then it says, uh, sometimes the sacrifices we made along the way were the real friends.
I'm also picturing the gravediggers.
Should we lower the casket?
And then someone saying, just do it and looking into the camera.
Yeah.
Just do it.
And then they miss the hole and then the casket just erupts into flames on the side somewhere.
And the casket's empty because it's not really dead, it's an actor.
Uh, he was actually the one piloting the casket lowering mechanism and that's why he crashed this.
Um, okay, uh... Yeah, next comment.
Also on ESPN, Glenn Spitzak says, I want to burn all my Nike clothing and shoes and boycott the company.
Does anyone know if this boycott includes Jordans too?
Since Nike owns the Jordan.
I respect this.
I love this.
I love this.
Cause like, Hey, listen, I'm good with losing my Air Maxes, but like I got some Jordan fives that are like, Pretty priceless.
Like how am I supposed to?
Honestly, I have original bread toast.
How am I supposed to burn those?
I can't burn those.
That's OG shit.
I love this.
Contact the CEO of Deplorables Inc.
and find out if we're boycotting Jordan's too.
Hey, are we still cool with Jays?
I love this comment.
Does anyone know if this boycott includes Jordan?
Like, this official boyc- What the fuck is this person talking about?
No, I'm pretty into it, because, like, listen, I know that, like, Nike is a Jordan subsidiary of Nike, but I'm pretty sure that Michael Jordan himself is, like, he's cool.
Oh, yeah.
I'm pretty sure Michael Jordan himself, like, doesn't like Kaepernick.
Right.
Because, like, Jordan sees Kaepernick doing what he's doing, and as a capitalist, he's like, dude, you're really fucking your shit up right now.
Yeah.
You could have had a shoe, and now you're getting an ad?
That's all you're getting?
Yeah, Jordan's like, you don't need all that hair.
Yeah, cut the shit down!
Uh, no, I love this.
Does anyone know if this boycott includes Jordan's, like, it's, it's your boycott, dude.
We're just living in it.
Do whatever you want.
Tell you what, stop buying everything, including food and water.
Just stop all of it.
I fucking love it.
Okay, let's go back to, uh, Nike.
So I was like looking for an official Nike post about this on Facebook.
Doesn't exist.
Because Nike's smarter than that.
The last Facebook post that Nike had was like from early August and it's something and it's like their profile picture.
It's just them changing their profile picture.
Nike's smart enough to be like, listen, we're going to go ahead and like push this, endorse this, but not on Facebook.
Yeah.
I'm going to put this out there, but I don't want comments.
Right.
So it was just the Nike profile picture that people were commenting on.
Hell yeah.
Which is great.
Karen Dewey on the Nike profile picture says we we no longer so this is like we will no longer but will is misspelled as the Nintendo game console we We no longer, quote, just do it, or have Nike apostrophe S in this house.
If Nike wants to support Colin Kaye, I appreciate that choice.
Yeah, thanks for giving them respect.
And just also, like, they don't want to try to spell Kapernick.
No, they're not going to do it.
It is not autofill.
They know some jokester in the comments is going to be like, you want to boycott him and you can't even spell his last name?
In your face.
But then you could like misspell it and like own him that way by misspelling it.
Not giving him the respect.
Colin Kay, if Nike wants to support Colin Kay, that is their choice.
I also have a choice.
Oh boy.
Can't wait for this hammer to drop.
On average, I purchase four to six pair of Nikes for each of five kids.
That is 20 to 30 pairs of Nikes I'll no longer be buying each year.
Uh-huh.
Because not one cent of my money will go to that man.
Damn, you ballin'.
334 reacts.
Fuckin' ballin' outta control.
Like this, this whole Nike thing's blowin' up so hard that a random comment on Nike's profile picture Just totally aggrieved at Nike for this weird, weird grievance that they have.
Has 300 likes.
People flooding this one profile picture.
20 to 30 pairs of Nikes each year.
This is like a legitimate sneakerhead.
Just fucking $3,000 to Nike every year.
Easy.
I gotta keep my kids fresh.
They kept on getting bullied at school so I had to give them the Lazy Air Maxes.
Big mistake, Nike.
Which is funny because, like, at this point, if you're buying 20 to 30 pairs of Nikes for your kids... Every fucking year!
What the fuck?
That means you're also at least buying, like, you know, 15 to 25 pairs of Adidas.
Like, you're buying a lot of fucking shoes.
We're not even talking about Vans.
Like, you're buying a lot of fucking shoes.
Yeah.
Your kids are... Maybe their kids are athletes.
Maybe they have, like, multiple sports.
Maybe they need volleyball shoes and basketball shoes and softball.
It's fucking brutal.
I just like to think that like five kids, like that's too many kids.
Yeah.
This is your fault.
You had too many kids.
Yeah.
Jennifer Wrote, American flag profile picture says, Guess what?
My son is not getting for school this year.
Dot dot dot.
No more Nike purchases by this patriotic mom.
Hey Jennifer, your son hates you.
Patriotic Mom is also capitalized.
That's like her official title.
Mom, I just, I just, all I wanted was some Air Force Ones.
So I wanted some Air Force Ones.
Guess what you're not getting this year?
Cool.
Like, thanks, Mom.
I'm gonna get beat up now.
All I asked for was one pair of Air Force Ones for the whole school year.
I'm gonna make them last.
I'm gonna paint them halfway through the year.
And you won't- Thanks, Mom.
I appreciate that.
Now I can never be in a gang.
Jennifer also has like a weird like cricket like device.
You know like the cricket device where you can like use it to only make incoming and outgoing calls to like one other phone.
She's got like this device but it's specifically like connected to a shock belt.
On her son?
Uh-huh.
And like, uh, if the son doesn't stand for the anthem in class, he gets a big ol' big ol' zap to the butt.
Yep.
You know what I mean?
Get your ass up.
He's like literally the only person in his class standing for the anthem.
He's just crying the whole time.
I hate this.
He tells all his friends, you guys know my mom, right?
You know she's a real bitch.
You know, you know, this is what this is about.
I can't even look good while I stand for the anthem.
I gotta wear Skechers!
I got no support!
No shots at Skechers.
Skechers, you know, they don't look cool.
Oh, shots.
Shots all day.
But they got a lot of support.
They're good for your body.
Are you gonna stand for air walks now, too, or what?
Never.
No.
But Skechers, that's... They got slip-proof shoes.
Quinn Charlee... What?
Charlay?
No, it's Charlee, judging by my friend Lee's name.
Oh, true, true.
It's Charlee!
Oh my god, it's Charlee!
It's Quinn Charlee, yep.
It's Quinn Charlee.
Quinn Charlee.
Quinn Charlee, spelled C-H-A-R-L-E-I-G-H, says, You have just lost a customer.
I buy my daughter all her sports shoes and school shoes about 10 pairs a year.
No more.
I will not contribute to a company that supports that kneeler.
Dude, the thing is...
We all know these parents.
We've met these parents.
We've interacted with these parents.
I was at my aunt's house earlier tonight who is one of these parents.
Yeah.
Okay?
She's a non-kneeler?
No, she will never kneel.
Death for kneeling.
Never kneeler.
And what I will tell you this, Her kids have never, they had to buy their own name brand shoes.
She's like, why the fuck would I buy you Nikes when I can buy you Payless?
Listen, you want one pair of shoes?
I'll buy you five.
Same price.
You can have those.
I'll buy you all five pairs.
Okay, Nikes are expensive though.
They are expensive.
Like, I understand the economic argument against- But, totally.
But these people are like, I'm buying 50 pairs of Nikes a year and- But they were never buying Nikes.
Ever.
They never bought this many pairs of shoes even if they were free.
This is cra- yeah, you're talking about this comment now.
This- yeah, this is nonsense.
Yeah, they never bought this many pairs of shoes.
Like, no way.
Ten pairs a year?
That's so many.
Can you imagine buying one pair of shoes a month?
I would be so fly.
One daughter, ten pairs of shoes.
I did buy a pair of Nikes today, but that's because they were literally $20.
Yeah, that's good.
Nike Outlet.
Go check them out, guys.
They got sales sometimes.
Get that money.
I love kneeler as a pejorative.
It's like the new n-word, right?
You naughty kneeler.
But it's the k-word.
You can't even get accused of using the n-word because it starts with a k. But wait, what do we call the actual k-word?
Because they use both.
They use both words.
Well, now that's like the p-word for parentheses.
Okay, I respect that, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, totally, yeah.
Nobody uses the K word now, they just use parentheses.
Yep, yep.
Extra parentheses, yeah.
Trips.
Trips.
Trips piece.
Beverly Cohen Wartheimer says...
How can you be so un-American?
And un-American?
Uh, the A is capitalized in the middle of that?
Respect, dude.
It's called respect.
Learn about it.
It's one word, no hyphen.
Yeah.
Un-American.
That's the only way you can spare American.
It's a typo if not.
My son loves your brand, but will never wear it again.
Because we are just gonna do it.
Do what's right!
Got em!
Like, it's... We are just gonna do it.
You know the Nike's motto, just gonna do it?
Yep, yep, just gonna do it.
Hey, hey, just gonna do it.
Just gonna do it to the deplorables.
Nuh-uh.
Not on my watch.
Hey, just do it.
I'm gonna.
I'm gonna do it.
Because we are just gonna do it.
I also, uh, like, judging by the picture of Beverly... How do you fuck up this hard?
It's so close.
So close.
I love this picture of Beverly, because Beverly looks like a nice lady.
Beverly looks like she has so many stenciled, reclaimed wood pieces in her house.
Beverly looks like a babe, but Beverly looks like she has mad money.
Beverly looks like she told her son, listen, you're not going to get any more Nike pants this year.
You're going to wear Lululemon all goddamn year and deal with it.
Like, she didn't skimp on the quality.
She still spends lots of money.
But, like, it's real expensive money.
It's, like, real, like, lame-ass.
Like, her son doesn't want anything to do with what she's talking about.
I love also just, like, owning your son.
Yep.
Because of, like, a model and a Nike ad.
I don't want my son to have any friends.
My son loves your brand, but I fucking... I hate Colin Kaepernick more than I like my son.
I know that feel.
I know that feel.
I hate Colin Kaepernick more than I hate my son.
I don't have a son, but I feel like I would hate him.
Some of the biggest stuff here happened on Twitter.
My favorites.
John Rich said on Twitter If you don't know who John Rich is, well he's verified.
Literally the guy from the country duo Big & Rich.
And like it's confusing for me.
John Rich, like I don't... I don't even know him by that name.
I just think of him the one who's like not big.
Like just small.
It's an ironic name.
He's just the small Rich.
Yeah.
It's like your friend who you call by the opposite of his description.
Well yeah, he's just the other guy who's not big from Big and Rich.
Our sound man just cut the Nike swoosh off his socks.
Former Marine.
Get ready at Nike.
Multiply that by the millions.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Millions of people are gonna cut off The swood, the like... The top like eighth of their sock.
Of the socks they already bought.
I don't like it when my socks work properly.
I want them all to fall down mid-walk.
Like dye them black or something.
Also like, oh cool, now you have two wristbands you're never gonna use.
It's insane.
It's amazing.
Destroy your own clothing to own the libs.
Just throw them away.
Don't like cut them up, you idiot.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Crazy, crazy people.
Our sound man!
Also, look how not clean those cuts are.
I think they cut them off while wearing them.
Yeah, that's what it looks like.
Fuck, I think they did.
I think they cut them off while wearing them, like, down and around.
Like, instead of taking the sock off, they're like, nope, I would never wear this.
Just go sockless for a second, dude.
Like, chill.
And also, if you're gonna do, like, cut them off while you're wearing them, you gotta videotape that shit.
Yeah.
What's the point of doing that?
It's gonna be in the next Big & Rich video.
Do you like the guy who burned his, uh, burned his Nike shoes but do it, like, to your socks while you're wearing them?
Yeah.
You know when you, when you, like, there's probably someone out there, you know how you, like, when you're wearing socks all day, you can, like, light them on fire and they just kind of, like, erupt and they go out right away?
Like, a flame consumes the whole sock, but it goes away right away.
Okay.
It's something to do with, like, your foot stench, I think.
But it works.
Okay.
There's someone that's like, you take this Nike.
Is this real or is this a bit?
Yeah, totally, yeah.
Okay, I've never heard of this.
Next time you come home in like your uniform socks, take a lighter to like the heel and like the whole foot will be like real fast engulfed with flames and go away.
It won't hurt you at all.
Interesting.
I just know there's a video out there that's like, take this Nike and then does that and then it goes away.
I like Soundman being one word and capitalized.
Like, that's an appreciation of laborers.
Yep.
Like, running that awful sound like that's what I want my title to be.
The Awful Soundman.
That's one thing.
Yeah.
Also, like, Former Marine.
Just in case you're wondering, he really means it.
Marines are so smart, instead of taking their socks off, they cut the top off.
That's how he gained the skills necessary to cut his socks off?
In to be a sound man?
Former Marine sounds like a different way of saying current traitor.
Honestly, what kind of a Marine can still hear things well?
They must not have been in the shit.
I want my Marines to not be able to hear very well because they're shooting so many things.
Just saying, if you're a former Marine, that means you're not a Marine anymore, right?
No, you're always a Marine.
Why do I listen to you?
Brian Copeland replies, yep, peace out Nike!
Another Marine and American cutting you out!
And this guy's cutting the swoosh off of his shorts in real time while he's wearing them.
Also still wearing them like you fucking weirdos like just throw the article clothing away.
They're cutting them off as if they're still gonna continue to use them.
I'm just gonna wear them with no swoosh.
Fuck it.
I mean, like, the tag probably has, like, the swoosh on it, too.
That's a lot of cutting, you're right.
Like, the pocket probably has a little swoosh logo on the back.
Yep.
I hope there's... What a weird thing.
I hope there's some guy out there who is a conservative that got the Nike swoosh tattooed on their foot, like, the shoe, and is, like, so, like, bummed.
Just like, ugh, guess I gotta cut my foot off now.
There's definitely dudes with swoosh face tattoos who are like, fuck yeah!
Yep.
They into it?
I'm political now.
This means something now.
Like some SoundCloud rappers like, yeah, got this for Cap.
I don't have to kneel, my face says it.
This is the best.
Just like homemade memes, homemade responses to the Nike ad.
Captioned in one of the like the deplorables groups says, screw you hashtag Nike.
And then the top part is the ad with with cap and believe in something even if it sacrifices everything.
And then the bottom half of the meme is just like a soldier crying.
Like a real side of weeping.
He's just like crying for dead soldiers, for the people who didn't make it back home.
Every ad should contain a crying soldier, right?
That's what we're going for here.
It's the most effective way to sell things.
Oh, you want to put Kaepernick in your ad?
I guess that means you're saying fuck you to every...
White gunshot victim of an illegal immigrant.
You know what would make this Marine cry?
If you don't come buy a refrigerator this weekend.
Come on down, we have a crazy sale on appliances.
Don't make this Marine cry.
Like, what is this argument?
This argument is like, if you're ever going to make an ad political, it should be political on behalf of the troops.
Yeah, right?
Like, that's like a charitable interpretation of this ad.
Like, there are no politics except loving the troops.
That's exactly charitable.
That's exactly very, very kind of you.
This is like, again, he sacrificed nothing.
This poor guy on the bottom sacrificed all of his friends.
I don't know if you know this, but this row of, this row of boots on the bottom, those are all of his friends.
This is specifically for his friends.
Yeah.
He sacrificed everything.
One of those sets of boots for his wife.
Oh, maybe those are all, like, the Nikes he can't wear anymore.
Yeah.
He's, like, sad in front of his closet, his grail closet.
You think, you made some sacrifices, Cap.
What about this Dunk collection?
It's totally useless to me now.
I can never wear my Keith LeBron's!
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just, like, this is considered a meme.
Kaepernick ad, sad, patriotic photo underneath.
Okay.
King size meme.
Last meme.
My favorite.
Your favorite.
It's a picture of a cop crying.
I think touching another cop who I'm assuming is crying.
And there's a thin blue line horizontally across the meme.
And inside that blue line... I don't know, this blue line's a little thick.
It's pretty thick, yeah.
Yeah, it's like one-eighth of the image.
To be a thin line, you have to be at least like one-twelfth?
Yeah.
One-fourteenth?
Max.
Max.
Yeah.
Inside this thick blue line, it says, believe in something.
Then underneath, even if it means sacrificing everything.
Yep.
This is like a cop who like did sacrifice their canine unit when they sent it at somebody with a gun and they tried to maul that person and the person ended up shooting the dog.
No, what actually happened was like it was a it was a citizen troop who let his canine like go and the canine like ate a bunch of chocolate and like didn't see that coming and the canine died.
It's a sacrifice they all have to make sometimes.
It's tough, man.
I just believe they were really robbing that bakery.
I love this.
Nike.
What about cops?
Every ad should be about cops.
Well, what if it's about cops and it can't be about troops?
How do you choose?
It's insane.
The best part about cop troops is, like, don't, like, troops even hate cop troops?
Like, don't troops hate, like, um...
What's the word for that?
Uh... The military police?
Um, I don't know.
Oh, oh, the MPs.
Yeah, I think everyone hates the MPs.
You would think so.
That's why there's no ads for them.
That's why there's no Nike ads for them.
It's because, like, fuck them.
Um... Yeah, I don't know, like... Another thing I was gonna say about, uh... About cops and the strength of their union is, like... We don't have time to get into it, but it's just funny how, like...
Federal government just gives them shit.
Yep.
Gives them a new tank.
All the time, yeah.
Gives them rifles for free.
Yep.
Imagine if that happened with teachers.
I mean, they pay for it, but out of the budget that's given to them by the government, so yeah.
The federal government just doesn't give them military surplus?
They do, but they also give them more money to pay for it.
I don't understand.
They still buy it, but they also happen to have extra money in their budget that year.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know it worked like that.
Yeah.
It's like real lame.
There has to be receipts, but they give them money to pay for the whole thing.
Yeah, I don't know.
This is just funny.
Hashtag not Nike.
Which is one of like three or four hashtags around boycotting Nike.
There was hashtag bye-bye Nike.
But like, you know, like waving bye-bye.
Like not B-U-I?
Yeah, like, I don't know if that's a pun.
I don't know if there was a B-U-Y?
Nope.
B-U-Y Nike campaign?
They never thought about that.
It's just, like, why wouldn't it just be buy Nike?
Yeah.
Or just see ya.
And that was one that I saw posted in the groups and somebody was like, oh my god, what a great idea!
A hashtag!
Do I have to give you money?
Like, like walk, hashtag walk away?
Do I have to subscribe to your Patreon?
How do I do this?
In order to use this hashtag?
How do I buy not Nikes?
Can I buy, can I on buy Nikes?
And then another one was like, I don't, hashtag I don't support Nike.
By the way, if you guys are out there and you guys don't support Nike, and you have Nikes you want to get rid of, just send them to us.
We'll get rid of them for you.
Just please send your rare Nikes to MiniDeathCult.
We'll take care of it.
Yeah, and with that, we're gonna end the show.
Thank you so much for listening.
Subscribe to Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult for a bonus episode every week.
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