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Aug. 21, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
01:26:45
68 - Satantifa

The world is ending. The Antichrist and The Antifa are responsible, we're documenting it. Thanks to mean ol' Antifa, the Unite The Right Rally 2 was a huge bust. Hope you're happy. It's lock and load time. Also: Satanist unveiled their monument on at the Little Rock capital building! Probably permanently! I'm damn pissed as hell! It's lock and load time. Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/k6TRLCacGkM

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Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people go to school in the desert.
All their environment, all the time.
Stay tuned.
Cool.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Both the Antichrist and Antifa are responsible.
We're documenting it.
Goddamn.
You take a negative like Antichrist and another negative like Antifa and And you have to add them for this analogy to work.
You have to add them together.
And it's twice as bad.
Because if you multiply them, then it becomes good.
So you have to add them.
And then they become twice as bad.
Either way, the math is not in their favor.
No.
No, not the way we're doing it here.
We need pro things here.
So the other weekend, Unite the Right 2 happened, the sequel.
Do?
Unite the Right Do?
Yeah, Part Do.
Part Do.
Redo, which is like Redux mispronounced.
Had their sequel.
Normally the sequel's better, bigger and better and badder than ever before.
Often.
This time, not so much.
I think there were about 30 people there that united.
I mean, they successfully, like, united.
In that sense, it was successful.
But only 30 of them, I believe.
That Kevin Spacey movie that came out over the weekend was more successful than Unite the Rights.
Oh boy.
Did you hear about that?
No.
He produced a movie and the gross for the weekend was something like, it was a few hundred dollars.
The gross earnings was a few hundred dollars, but the amount of people who said gross, threw the roof.
Yeah, astronomical.
Yeah.
No, the Unite the Right rally, like literally 30 white supremacists and Nazis showed up.
Hundreds more left protesters showed up.
You know, unfortunately, like, they were successful.
Antifa, the leftist protesters, sort of this, like, anti- this, like, this sort of anti-right campaign that's been going on the past year.
Punching Nazis, yelling at Nazis, confronting them.
Unfortunately it was successful and you know the reason I say unfortunately is because like yeah they got results and yeah only 30 people showed up to this rally but at what cost?
You're denying access to these folks, sure.
You're preventing them from entering the space.
You're denying them the chance to organize and build their ranks.
Does that make you any better than the people that you denied that space to?
You know, I can think of another group, famous group in history, that denied people's rights to speak and made them fear for their lives just for standing up for themselves.
Twitter?
The Gestapo.
Oh.
Antifa's the Gestapo.
Yeah, we'll hear that argument a little bit later in this episode for sure.
Yeah, that argument is represented here today.
I just wanted to make sure we all knew.
Gestapo.
It's a little more flavor than the Nazis.
And sure, like, direct action, uh, direct action worked and it was successful, if you count this as a success, um, but then- Hated quotes.
Success.
But then, how are you supposed to debate these people?
Like, if they don't show up to the event to bring their, like, hateful rhetoric and their hateful ideas, like, how are you supposed to debate the ideas away?
And talk the idea- like, if the ideas are never there in the first place, how are you supposed to, like, cure these people of them?
Yeah, it's, it's...
You need two to tango.
Think if the king was presented with a baby and only one person was claiming the baby, he would never suggest to cut the baby in half and we would never know the truth.
If he cut that baby in half, why, he'd be considered a monster.
Yeah, you only gotta cut the baby in half when there's two people involved.
That's why you gotta get that other person in there, so it justifies cutting the baby in half.
The real question is, they have to cut the baby long ways, right?
Yeah, so everybody gets part of a head and a tail.
Yeah, because nobody wants just the lower half of a baby.
Yeah, good point.
Except Kevin Spacey.
Yeah, no, so white supremacists were scared to come out to this rally.
Uh, if you consider that a bad thing, then sure, yeah, you might be, uh, anti-Antifa.
You might be anti-white.
You might be?
No, if you consider that a bad thing, then you're pro-white.
Or you're like, you're like impartial to people being pro-white.
No, sorry.
I have some numbing stuff in my mouth.
I'm trying to say anti-right, but it's coming out anti-white.
It's not.
It's a speech thing.
It's not.
Well, I mean, if you're Minor Threat or Slayer, you could be guilty of both.
Oh, that's true.
Let's hear from the organizer himself, organizer of the Unite the Right Rally 2.0, Jason Kessler.
Let's hear what he has to say about the efforts of the left and how bad they are.
Now people are scared to stand up for their rights.
People who are pro-white, or people who are conservative, or people who are Trump supporters, or just in favor of free speech are terrified they're going to be attacked by these anti-speech proletarians that they're going to be blamed for when they fight back.
And a lot of people doubted that we could do this and we could do it safely.
This is just the beginning.
There are a lot of people who would have loved to have been here today but were afraid for their safety or afraid for their freedom.
Yeah, bummer dude.
I can see why that would upset a couple people.
I was totally going to go, but I couldn't.
My old softball helmet with the cage on it?
Yeah.
It didn't fit anymore, and I couldn't find one in time.
And I couldn't get an American flag cape that fit around my thick neck.
Well, that's the thing.
You were looking for the cape.
They probably do make the cape.
No, you have to use a flag.
Did you notice he was holding the flag the wrong direction?
He was like displaying a flag as he's in the video.
If you guys aren't watching the video, if you guys are still living in like 2017, come on now.
If you guys aren't watching the video, he's holding a flag, displaying it proudly as he's talking backwards.
It's backwards.
Yeah, it's weird how, like, those flags, they don't print them double-sided.
So, like, if you're standing on the wrong side of the flagpole, like, are you unpatriotic?
It depends.
Yeah, most times you are.
So, not only was this Unite the Right rally to a bust, thanks to the efforts of leftist organizers, Direct Action, and I'm sure op-eds.
I'm sure op-eds had something to do with people being afraid to come out.
They were just picturing the scores of How Dare You Sirs being written in the New York Times.
Of people saying, stop it.
And, uh, that's probably why too.
But, um, another ramification happened.
Thanks to, uh, thanks to the actions of the left.
And it's arguably, um, funnier.
It's much better.
Crosses on their chest, as Dr. Dufe likes to point out.
So this is like a conversation between two pieces of shit.
And the piece of shit that's like lower in the mix is Jason Kessler, the same person that we heard from before.
and What?
Yeah, well he might not be able to have the equipment to be as big of a deal as he wants to be.
to throw this rally.
Yeah, well, he might not be able to have the equipment to be as big of a deal as he wants to be.
True.
Houses are in Israel.
Hey, you get out of my room.
Hey, sorry, I'm having an issue here.
You got to drop.
So that's Jason Kessler on the other line saying, being yelled at to get out of somebody's room and saying, sorry, I got an issue here.
I got a technical issue.
My dad is kicking me out.
Yep.
Roommate there.
Something like that.
Push me like that in my room.
I've got somebody who supports Orthodox Israeli-like is verb.
We're at a crosshairs on that stuff.
At a crosshairs.
There's... Hold on a second.
Clean your room.
I'm gonna assume that's a parent there.
I'm not sure.
Oh, man.
Oh.
Jason, why are you staying with- you're not staying with an Orthodox Jew, are you?
You're not staying with a Jew, are you?
No, it's my father.
Basically, the deal is, my family watches American History Channel.
Oh god.
American History Channel.
Instead of American History X!
Immediately, American History Channel.
Oh god.
Oh god.
And it's constant anti-German propaganda.
Which is not the history channel that I'm familiar with.
Anti-German, anti-Nazi propaganda.
Isn't this just like a non-stop stream of Nazi glorification?
It kind of is, right?
Yeah.
They had the best planes, and the best tanks, and the best technology.
Yeah, let's do a deep dive on their advanced military assaults.
Nazis, the Jews, and the dude...
I'm stuck in a situation where I have to stay with my family because I'm paying for all these lawsuits and I can't afford to do that without staying with my family, but they're cut.
Life has been pretty expensive the last few months.
I still maintain an apartment and this vote.
Alright, shut the fuck up.
That's my favorite part though, when he like...
He like rubs his face so hard like, ha, you live with your dad?
I got a fucking boat.
He's like, I know how it is.
I have a boat that I stay in in addition to my apartment just in case the first apartment gets taken away from me.
He's like, this is my backup boat in case I need to get off land.
But I'm like renovating it.
I got like two beds in here.
You don't even have a bed.
Just shitting on them the whole time.
By the way, if you're not watching the YouTube feed, you definitely should be because we have some amazing profile pictures today that you are going to need to see.
Thanks to all the new subscribers.
We are at like 63 subscribers or so.
We need your subscriptions, folks.
We need to get to 100 subscribers to get to that customizable URL and just to spread the word, to spread the cult.
And then you too can watch with fascination as we see this very thin-lipped man drink out of a bottle somehow without spilling.
So not only is the left uh Antifa Antifa Antifa uh denying access to protests denying organizational spaces to these people they're also bankrupting Jason Kessler they're also forcing him to move back in with his parents uh so not only like you know it's the slogan what like uh Punch a Nazi?
Is there a catchier way of saying that?
I think that's basically a punch a Nazi, yeah.
Yeah, like punch a Nazi all the way back to his parents' house.
Yeah.
I love stuff like that.
Like, I'm gonna hit you so hard your parents' electricity bill feels it.
Like, I love it when it happens to people that suck.
When it happens to people like, you know, good old folks, it sucks.
But when it happens to people like him, it's just the best thing to watch.
Yeah, it's great.
It's amazing.
I mean like, you know, nothing wrong with you living with your parents unless you're like a piece of shit white supremacist, of course.
Okay, let's get into the show proper.
So even CBS is reporting, uh, Unite the Right members say people were too afraid to come out today for the rally.
And yeah, I love that.
It's great.
It's good stuff.
Yeah.
They're too scared.
Cool.
Nailed it.
Sick.
Like, how dare you, Left?
Do you feel good now?
You've scared us away.
I wish it would have been like, uh, Antifa banged on Alt-Right today.
Straight flexed on him.
And it's like, yeah, like they're readily admitting like they were too afraid to come out.
Like, I think Felix from Chopo was like, yeah, you're lucky we got scared.
Yep.
Yep.
You guys are lucky.
Good job.
No, it really is.
It's like, oh, you feel cool now.
You scared a bunch of white supremacists.
Good for you.
You feel like a big man now?
You pussy snowflake?
In today's headline, Alt-Right wants no smoke.
Wants no smoke.
We are lucky because they had the blicky on them.
So one of my favorite takes about this most recent Unite the Right rally happened on Twitter but made its way to Facebook.
And the original tweet goes, My grandfather is a 96 year old German.
When seeing Antifa videos, he shakes his head and says, we didn't think it could happen in Germany either.
These people, parentheses Antifa, act and sound like the Nazi Party's Sturmabteilung.
Stop them now or you'll regret it.
Uh, and then there's like a video that was taken by Shane Bauer attached to this.
Uh, the video, of course, from Berkeley a year ago.
Yeah.
Not associated.
The infamous Berkeley Massacre.
Uh, just a totally different event that like Fox News, uh, Fox News included in their piece about, uh, Unite the Right to, they're like, look at this thing that probably happened this weekend.
So this was a tweet that got shared, retweeted, 23,000 times.
It's got 32,000 likes.
It was retweeted by, like, Dinesh Democrats or the Real Racists, D'Souza, a bunch of, you know, right-wing talking heads, etc.
Let's just analyze this tweet before we get into, like... Yeah.
There's a lot going on here.
Yeah, so I think it's very interesting that the person says, my grandfather is a 96-year-old German.
Not a Jew.
Not a Jew.
A German.
It's an important thing to specify.
Yeah.
And then also, he shakes his head and says, we didn't think it could happen in Germany either.
Stop them now or you'll regret it.
So you're basically just like admitting that your grandpa was a Nazi.
Yeah.
Like, A, your grandpa's a Nazi.
He did not stop the Nazis.
Why would we take any advice from this pussy who didn't stop the Nazis?
And he's also trying to say like, or maybe he's saying, stop the Antifa now or else it's going to be harder later.
Like we waited too late.
Like they waited too late.
They would have probably got away with it if they started a little bit earlier.
Who's they?
What are you talking about?
Nazis.
Maybe he's saying the Nazis would have been more successful if they started earlier.
So reframe this analogy.
Grandpa's still a Nazi.
Yeah.
And he's saying that you guys need to actually stop being little alright babies and start being actual Nazis and get this under control.
Okay.
Stop them now or you'll regret it.
Yeah.
So I just think that it's interesting how you're like Or this guy is like, you know, uh... My grandpa was in Germany, and he definitely hates the Nazis, and now he's telling you to rise up against the anti-fascists.
Rise up against the anti-Nazi, but it seems a little suspicious to me.
Yeah, a little fishy.
Yeah.
A little fishy.
So, somebody did some digging.
It was CoInselPro, Amy on Twitter, did some digging and discovered that, yeah, this is a fake account.
LandonSims is an account that was using somebody else's profile picture, other media, and as soon as they got outed, they made their Twitter account private.
Tried to wash themselves of it.
Yeah, just an obviously totally fake story.
Which is funny, because even if I got called out for that, after having so many retweets, I would have just been like, nope, you're fake news.
How are you not paying enough attention to realize that you can just do that?
You can just say, no, it's fake news, and you can be on Fox News next week.
Sure.
I mean, you have to have a face and stuff to be on Fox News.
Tell me about your grandpa!
My face is blurred out.
I would like to show you my face, but I'm scared of the Antifa.
So I'm going to go ahead and... You guys are changing my voice, right?
When seeing Antifa videos.
All those Antifa videos my 96-year-old grandpa is watching.
Yeah.
Why are Antifa videos not bigger on WorldStar?
I couldn't tell you.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Interesting.
So, this was shared to Facebook, of course, and, uh, the account that shared it, um, I just want to go through his cover photo real quick.
His cover photo and his profile pic.
Uh, so his cover photo is, uh, it's like a scratchy, uh, American flag skull with American flag wings.
It's kind of Avenged Sevenfolding, but way more patriotic.
Yeah, it's like a sketchier Avenge Sevenfold.
It's like Sons of Anarchy mixed with Avenge Sevenfold.
Totally.
And then there's like the 3% logo in one of the eye sockets.
Top text.
We are everywhere.
Bottom text.
And we want our country back!
The best thing about this though, the font, is like, Country Kitchen Old English.
Yep.
It's exactly what it is, Country Kitchen Old English.
You can see the word home fries written in the same exact font.
Yeah, totally.
It's the least threatening font.
It's like, wherever you go, you'll be home.
And we want our country back!
Yep.
Country gravy!
We want our country gravy back.
I just love the idea that we are everywhere, but it's still not our country.
That's white plight right there.
That's the hard existence of being white in America.
Kids aren't wearing my jerseys.
It just reminds me of that episode of Futurama when Bender becomes a professional wrestler and his persona is like, I'm just an ex-con who's trying to get my kids back.
I'm so sad that's one of the few episodes I've never seen.
Oh, it's a good one.
It's a little problematic like all Futurama episodes.
Of course, yeah.
Yeah, no, it just reminds me that.
Like, we are everywhere!
And we're also, like, really disenfranchised.
But it's like, uh, 80% of the population.
And we just want our country back.
That's it.
That's it.
Please just give us our country back.
Like, it's like...
I don't know, it's like 450 million Incredible Hulk backpackers, like, without a home, walking down the highways of America, just wanting their country back.
Like in a group?
Yeah.
Taking over the freeways?
There's like not enough room for all of them.
And then, uh, this dude's cover, this dude's profile picture, um, pretty amazing.
So it's the, it's, it's the presidential seal, but there's lightning striking it, but it's like that fake Photoshop lightning.
It's like the flash lightning.
It's like the lightning that's airbrushed on a motorcycle tank.
Yeah, it's that lightning striking the presidential seal, creating a fiery letter Q right in the center of the seal.
Then underneath, in fiery letters, it says WWG1WGA, which stands for Where We Go One, We Go All.
which is the cue motto and underneath that is the is the Punisher skull also in a fiery font I love how there's so much fire and there's like a wisp of smoke.
There's as much smoke that comes off like a match that went out.
Yeah.
There's that much smoke coming off all this fire, but it's like realistic.
It's so good.
And I love it's like, again, with this whole Q thing, with the Proud Boys thing, like these are movements that exist.
These are like I don't know how... Proud Boys, I don't know if you would call that, like, a AstroTurf movement, because I don't think, like, the Koch Brothers are funding Proud Boys or anything.
No, not yet.
It's Gavin McGinnis, who has money, so it's not exactly AstroTurf.
I think the Q shit might genuinely be, like...
Grassroots insanity?
I think so.
And all of this stuff is sprouted up in order to defend the President.
These are people who are organizing a secret society, and a public society in the case of the Proud Boys, to fight for our President.
Literally the most powerful man in the world.
That definitely has got shooters.
Like, he's got shooters for real.
But they're like, no, but we can, like, be your shooters too.
Yeah, I don't know.
You can never have too many.
Yeah, you can never have too many.
And then it's all, yeah, it's just like, yeah, sure, uh... It's the presidential seal, but what if, like, there was a Q on top of it?
What's the truth behind it?
What if, what if it was even stronger, uh, with Anonymous?
What if... It's the presidential seal, but with Anonymous on top of it.
But even bigger.
It's the layer that we don't see.
Okay.
Again, go to the YouTube.
Search Minion Death Cult on YouTube.
We got a comment from Jerry here.
Top comment on this post from this anti-Antifa post on Facebook.
Jerry says, maybe getting close to lock and load time?
What do you think?
And Jerry's profile picture is him in an open, at-the-neck, button-up shirt, cowboy hat, playing his Les Paul guitar with the, I don't know, multicultural, hand-holding heart filter over it.
It's this really loving, sweet filter.
It's the DSA filter that your grandma has.
Yeah, doesn't know what it is, but it's what it is.
And, uh, like you said, his face is just like that of a Bob's Burgers character.
Very Muppety, but you can see him being exactly a Bob's Burgers character.
Yeah, it's- he's just, like, two-dimensional.
Like, his face is a fucking square.
Also- And it's just his eyes are way too closely set.
They're so beady.
Yeah.
Where his hand lands, he's also holding hands with a two hand- holding hands.
It's just a sweet- but he also has this, like, dead face, too.
It's very straight, just like...
Kind of a, there's a smile happening but it's still a frown shape.
Yeah, no, he's got his hands in with the multiculturalism and on the count of three they're all gonna yell, uh, QAnon!
He's giving the like, the like, Alzheimer equivalent to a smize.
That's the look he's giving.
Right.
Don here says, already locked and loaded, just waiting for the right move.
It won't be too long, I am sure.
If you're wondering why he's so passionate, it's because he has progeny to watch after.
It's because he's got a frightened granddaughter to look out for.
Don here looks like, if you've seen Nathan For You, the most recent season, Don looks like the Bill Gates impersonator.
Nathan ends up taking, like, a cross-country road trip to find his lost love.
Just like, um, you know, a waddle-necked, thin, 70-year-old man with glasses and, like, slits for eyes.
Yeah.
Like, picture, um, picture What's-His-Face doing his turtle man Yep.
A bit, but like 70 years old.
It was like golden, like wispy hair.
Like thin, wispy hair.
But yeah, Don's already locked and loaded.
He's already just stroking a revolver.
Yeah, you can't see it in this photo where he's holding his granddaughter because it's out of frame.
Both these men would, they would be... I'm not saying they can't fire a weapon.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that after they were to fire a few rounds, they are going to be hurt.
Like, they're going to be sore the next day.
Like, if they were to fire like a shotgun, they're gonna bruise their shoulder or dislocate.
They're not, they don't look very...
Capable.
They look old and like... But I'm sure they can fire that weapon.
I don't know.
I think Jerry here might genuinely think he is holding a rifle instead of his guitar.
Yeah.
And I think Don is just... Plum forgot where he put his.
He thinks he's holding a rifle, but he's actually holding a guitar.
But the whole time it's really his penis.
That's what it looks like?
That's just how he feels.
Oh, okay.
On Don's profile, really interesting profile for Don, Turtleman Don.
His cover photo says, Pray for our nation.
When you get up from your knees, grab your sword.
And it's a meme with that text over an angel with a fiery sword.
A badass lady angel with a fiery sword?
Really cool image.
Yeah.
Insane.
Yeah, it's just like Christian Crusader.
He's never going to leave his house, right?
Yeah.
Also, he says he was a former fire restoration specialist at SELF.
At SELF.
That's where he was employed at, by SELF.
And as somebody who was also a former fire restoration specialist, there are chemicals involved.
The respiration technology we have now has not always been around.
He's probably retired.
We did it for a long time.
There might be some residual effects.
Some adverse effects that make him fucking stupid.
If you think asbestos can affect you, A specialist that has been set on fire?
Real bad.
Yeah, former fire restoration specialist at SELF, which is a weird way of saying fire restoration specialist at retired.
Yeah.
It's weird that he did it this way.
But yeah, SELF is actually a clickable occupation.
So I clicked on it.
And yeah, there are 62,000 employees at SELF on Facebook.
We need to make that, actually get that to be like a company.
Like we need to trademark that.
And then by law, we will just automatically have 62,000 employees.
And we'll be publicly traded and stuff.
So these are, um, these are obviously like our small business owners.
Yeah.
Just the best of us.
Just, uh, some of the greatest Americans just, uh, not knowing how to, uh, use Facebook.
I love that.
Making all the money.
And then finally, um, another thing from Don's profile, uh, he posted a horrific meme.
Just a totally grotesque caricature.
It's like a cartoon rendering of an anchor at his anchor desk.
It looks like a bulbous version of Kenny Powers.
Like a really weird, bloated, bubbling, like his skin is bubbling version of Kenny Powers.
But his tie is like a weird checkerboard tie like somebody would wear from the 50s.
I think this is exactly the Anchorman suit.
This is exactly the Anchorman suit.
Is this from the movie?
I think it is, yeah.
Not the character, but the suit looks exactly like it.
I think this is a real person that modeled this.
It's like a Mad Magazine cover.
Yeah, totally.
It's really fucking weird looking.
Top text says, Breaking News!
This is like the cartoon anchor telling you this news.
It's really weird.
Bottom text.
A man followed a young girl into a Target bathroom in Texas saying he self-identified as a woman.
The man's teeth were knocked out by the girl's father who says he self-identifies as the tooth fairy.
And Don's caption for this post was, needs to happen a lot more.
I will have to remember this.
And oh, he also posted an emotion, which was feeling entertained.
Entertained.
With like a laughing, smiling face.
You know what entertains me?
Sexual assault that has been stopped with brutal assault.
Yeah, not just like, stopped, but like, avenged.
Avenged, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm willing to sacrifice thousands of little girls as long as I get to beat up their attackers.
Yeah, as long as we get to take some teeth.
And can you imagine how entertaining that would be?
Oh, it would feel so good.
I wouldn't care how many bones I break in my hands.
Don literally says, needs to happen a lot more.
I'll have to remember that.
Your response to this totally fake story about a young girl getting accosted in a men's restroom needs to happen a lot more, just so I can get my vicarious thrill of hearing about a manhandle business.
Yeah, it's insane.
If this ever happened to my daughter and the man said he self-identified as a woman, I would say, I self-identify as the Easter Bunny and shove some eggs right up his ass.
Right up his ass.
Hide him up in there.
I self-identify as Cupid and I fell in love with you.
It's weird now because of what just happened.
Yeah.
So you're like creeping him out?
Yeah.
That's how you get him out?
Okay.
I'll creep him.
Yeah.
I self-identify as a Christian baker and I made you a knuckle sandwich.
Yep.
Yeah.
Next.
Speaking of Tooth Fairy, I gotta take a small break.
Okay.
Because I need to get my tooth taken out.
Okay, so there might be a problem with the video so far.
I think we might have just lost it because the program that I used to record this is absolutely free and full of all the great things that come with free software, like massive glitches.
I mean, it's probably because, like, it's free.
That's exactly what's going to happen under socialism right there.
Right.
You know?
Had you paid good money for that, you know?
Like that live video feed we're going to get of everybody's surgery is just going to shut down prematurely?
Man, it's going to be so bad.
But still, go to MinionDeathCold on YouTube.
Whatever we got there is worth watching.
It's all bangers.
Beautiful faces.
The CHP Lip Sync Challenge Remix that we did currently has 500 views, which is amazing.
I think a lot of those views are people that are mad at us because the downvotes are catching up to the upvotes.
So you need to go there and upvote that shit.
Subscribe and upvote.
Okay, so... Moving on to our next response to Antifa, uh, being bad.
Uh, and being the real Nazis.
The ones who don't like the Nazis.
They're the, they're the Nazis.
Um... Edja says... About... Germans.
Uh... People weren't giant pussies back then either.
These turds won't gain any ground.
I don't really understand this one at all.
I understand it.
Are they saying like, look, and the Jews were tough.
Nope.
What?
He's saying the Nazis were badasses and Antifa are pussies.
So Antifa will never have the success of the Nazis.
Fuck.
Everything sucks.
Like, we were worried about Nazis back then.
Yeah, well, that's because they were effective.
These pussies.
I don't even think they were that good.
I think they just had, like, good merch.
That helps.
It goes a long way.
Yeah, it's true.
I like that.
Complimenting the Nazis to own Antifa.
So crazy.
Horrifying being.
This grey man.
Our next comment comes from a grey man in a cowboy hat.
Looks like he leaped out of the imagination of David Lynch.
He really does.
He looks like a spectral Lynchian figure that never quite emerges from the shadows.
Whenever you see him in the shot he's still pixelated like his photo.
Um, yeah, absolutely gray man who either, I think just like the bottom, it looks like maybe there's a beard there, but I think it's just the bottom half of his face is rotting.
Yeah, it's definitely some sort of like fungal like deterioration.
He's also wearing a pretty cool bolo tie.
Just a black onyx that probably has trapped many a soul.
And his first name is Doc.
Yep.
It was like Doc Murphy or something like that.
Doc Murray.
Yep.
So yeah.
Honest to God cowboy.
Probably also has tuberculosis.
Oh for sure.
Doc says, and yet they accuse the RNC and Trump of being the Nazis.
Shows how little they understand about the term and history in Germany.
Despite trying to change the definition of Nazi being a right-side political group, they are left-side, i.e.
the DNC!
Everyone knows, everyone knows, Democrats are the original Nazis.
This is like how infected people's brains are.
Like, you know what they're trying to say, but if you... if you had no history of this show, like if you didn't listen or watch this show, or you didn't have any, like, Boomer Facebook friends or family, you would be like, what are you trying to say?
Despite trying to change the definition of Nazi being a right-side political group, they are left-side, i.e.
the DNC!
That's how it goes.
So the Nazi are not a right-side political group.
They are left-side.
Yep, they're from the left.
Which is why Antifa fights literal Nazis.
Because it's like a turf war.
Yeah, they try and get back over there.
They always negate the part where Yes, but one of those were in power.
The Nazis were not a grassroots movement.
They were established.
They were the ruling power.
They were the thumb.
In this scenario, it's the reverse.
The Antifas, they're not in power.
Well that's why you have to have George Soros.
That's why you have to invent George Soros or the Clinton Cabal.
So they really are in power.
Right.
And that's why the most powerful man in the fucking world, Donald Trump, needs our help.
Yep, exactly.
I.E.
the DNC!
Like the Democratic National Committee?
Not the Democratic Party, but the National Committee.
When we defend Donald Trump, we don't have to work within the rules of the military and the rules of engagement.
We're freelancers, so we can do what we want.
Sure.
Yeah, I like it.
I like the idea of Eric Prince and Blackwater getting his marching orders from Anonymous.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Like he goes and like kills some random 11 year old gamer who called Q a pussy while they were playing Fallout.
Oh yeah, that's exactly what it's gonna be.
That's hate crimes, speech hate crimes.
We must eliminate.
This next one, probably my favorite.
Probably the best one.
Oh man.
I'm gonna read the comment first.
Robert says, Oh, we will bank on we're preparing now for their demise.
Bank on that.
space comma semper fi again i think that's just his i think semper fi comes after everything he It's his auto signature on everything his phone does.
Space comma Semper Fi is his signature.
One of Robert's pictures, just too lovely not to share.
It's too sweet.
It's so sweet.
It's Robert at a loading dock of some kind, possibly an airport.
Holding a puppy of some kind.
Is that like a schnauzer?
Is that kind of like a schnauzer?
A little black and brown puppy.
A little adorable fluff.
Holding a tiger chew toy up to the puppy.
Grinning at the camera wearing his Semper Fi hat and like a leather jacket that I don't know how he got to zip.
But he did it.
You can get them cut to the gut.
It's kind of like maternity clothes, but it's for grown men with keg bellies.
It's cut to the gut, and it has an arch in it.
It just follows the old gut cut.
And I think what he's saying is, uh, we're preparing for their demise.
Much, uh, we're gonna feed them to the lions.
Like I'm feeding this lion to my puppy.
He just looks like, um... He's got like a bushy mustache.
And just, if you saw this man, you would be like, oh, like...
This guy's gonna give me some good life advice and then go back to mowing his lawn.
He looks like Santa Claus in summertime.
Yeah.
Beardless Santa Claus, just a mustache.
He looks straight up jolly.
But no, he's gonna declare war.
Yep.
Declare war on Antiva.
I love, oh we will bank on, we're preparing now for their demise, bank on that.
I sure hope he's not Santa Claus.
Could you imagine the Air Force?
Bud says... These fucking names, dude!
Yeah, they're good.
Like, Doc, Don, Bud... Rob.
Rob.
Antifa is a well-organized, effective group.
They have access to good funding and leadership.
The real question is, who is at the helm of this well-oiled organization?
If you think no agency of the U.S.
government has any idea, you are brain-dead.
So, why are they allowed to proceed?
They are an enemy of the state!
So like, why are they allowed to proceed?
So they're being funded, not only are they being funded by the government, they're also being allowed to proceed after being funded by the government.
That's the real question.
Because you can't stop yourself.
Like, the government's already giving them money, why don't they just stop them after that?
Why don't they stop them from proceeding after that?
Didn't they learn from the Taliban about giving them money?
A well-oiled organization.
Is it?
I mean, that's... Can I get benefits from my joining?
Is that possible?
Yeah, as long as you join the official one with, like, the blue check on Twitter.
I just want to join Antifa so I can maybe see the world, maybe get an education.
You know, I don't really want to get in the shit.
I just want to... You think that's why you're joining, but then you've, like, six months later you're behind a computer in Delaware, like, doxing Nazis.
Yeah, and you didn't even get the Camaro you were promised.
Yeah, those recruiters are just really predatory.
They sit outside of co-op bookstores and scalp young people off the street.
Yeah, Antifa's effective.
They're not anybody.
Yeah.
Antifa's not a thing.
Antifa's not an organization at all.
If you can't buy merch, they don't count.
I can buy a Proud Boys shirt.
Antifa is literally anybody who shows up at the event.
Yeah.
That's literally what Antifa is.
There aren't dues.
It's cool if they're inclusive, you know.
Joe says, I saw a video of a guy say that dictionaries since 2009 say that any right-wing ways are fascist.
Yep.
I saw in the dictionary.
No, no.
I saw a video of a guy say that in the dictionary.
Yep.
Fuck.
Sorry, I interrupted what you were going to say.
No, that's so bad.
That's so lame.
It's so lame.
I saw a video.
Yeah.
I saw a video of a guy say that in the dictionary.
I'm all link or it didn't happen.
But once I see the video of the guy saying it, I'll believe it.
I don't believe you really saw a video of a guy say that.
Why don't you make a video of you saying it?
Won't that make it even more authentic?
Yeah, but then the video, you have to say that you saw another video of a guy.
That's what you say in the video.
I saw a video of this guy, his name was Miriam, and he told me that he saw a video of his friend Webster say that in the dictionary they say that right-wingers are Nazis now, in every dictionary since 2009.
If you look under right-wing it just has a picture of a swastika.
You know, I saw a video of a guy who saw the new Dinesh D'Souza movie and he said that Trump is the new Lincoln.
Breaking news, folks.
Yep.
I mean, if Dinesh said it, it has to be true.
And then Dooley, our OP that we haven't heard from yet except for the original post, says, I would believe that.
Yep.
I would believe that.
If I heard that, I would believe it.
I'm believing it right now.
Weird.
I would believe that.
They are using the frog in a pot theory of incrementally changing the American way by rewriting all resource material so in Youth of Tomorrow Research they will find the exact opposite of the true meaning of words or labels.
Slowly turning up the temp on the dictionary.
That way none of us jump out of the dictionary before the word is completely changed.
Before we know it, our kids are just gonna know that, you know, Republicans are fascists.
So this is a good thing.
I'm with this.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, no, before, in like the year 1999, the dictionary said, um...
Right wingers are actually centrists and responsible and then like in like 2002 they changed it to be right wingers are are are moderate yeah but still responsible it's a little to the right a little to the right uh and then now you know and you just do that incrementally that way no one jumps out of the pot that is uh Republican politics.
I mean, what is my kid gonna read one day?
It's gonna be like, uh, right-wingers, it's gonna be like ethnic cleansers, bringers of... harbors of doom.
All sorts of lies.
Yeah.
Damn.
And then finally, Debbie agreeing with this Orwellian future in which we live, changing the meanings of words.
Debbie says, it's the same thing they did when they decided thongs weren't shoes anymore.
I thought Cisco was singing about Chanclas.
No?
Yeah, Debbie's probably Hispanic.
I was just trying to give her some, you know, worldly credit.
Sure.
You know?
Yeah, totally.
Back in my day, thongs were sandals.
In this dystopian future in which we live, they call them underwear, but they're clearly visible on the surface.
Underwear!
They're not under anything!
This is clearly a misnomer.
This is Orwellian doublespeak.
When people talk about liberty, they really mean slavery.
When people talk about left, they mean right.
And when people talk about thongs, they don't mean beach sandals.
When they really should be calling them whore ropes.
It's one word.
That's good.
The R just rolls into the opes.
Yeah.
Did you make that up just now?
Yeah.
It's my new line of thongs.
I'm trying to think of another one.
Slut strings?
I hate this.
I'm sorry.
I'm not doing this anymore.
Demonic diapers.
Demonic diapers.
There you go.
Okay.
Let's move on to our next topic.
Speaking of... Speaking of demonic diapers... Uh... Our next topic is, uh, Satan.
And Satanism.
Are you talking about the meat substitute made from a grain?
No.
That makes a great Philly cheesesteak?
Also good, though.
Oh.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about the original.
Beelzebub.
Beelzebub.
The Great Deceiver.
Lucifer.
Lord of Light.
The Satanist Church debuted their new statue At the Little Rock Capitol.
Well, Little Rock is the Capitol, but at the Capitol building in Little Rock, Arkansas.
And a lot of people, like, a lot of these headlines about it were, I believe, intentionally misleading.
A little bit.
Not even just these, like, right-wing clickbait stuff that we're gonna talk about, but, um, like, actual news items.
It was, you know, kind of like I said it, you know, Satanist Church unveils the new statue at the Little Rock Capitol building.
And, uh, no, this is just like a, uh, just a release.
Like, it was just a, just a, uh, publicity stunt.
Yeah, they're not, like, leaving it there.
They literally never took it down from the back of a trailer.
They just unveiled it there.
It's a pretty tight statue though.
It's so sick.
It's a goat-headed Baphomet sitting on a throne with a pentagram back piece on the throne.
It's an exquisite carving.
It's really, really well done.
The proportions are ominous.
They're gnarly.
This is a huge being.
And there are children.
There's a child carved on either side of him looking up to him.
Yeah.
Which rules.
This is like, I mean, it's the cover of Ringworm's The Promise.
Exactly.
If in another life I would have gotten this tattooed on me.
Absolutely, yeah.
It's fucking hard.
Confederate 901 Facebook page has a different take on this.
They say, This hunk of demonic shit just got put at the state capitol in Little Rock.
I'm beyond pissed.
God, I'm so fuckin' pissed.
I'm fuckin' possessed right now.
This hunk of shit.
It's like, it's even... Demonic hunk of shit.
It's clearly, like, well done.
You can't call it, like, a hunk of shit.
It, like, it obviously, like, looks good.
But it's a hunk of shit.
Dude, I love this.
Hunk of demonic shit.
That rules too.
I love that phrase.
Hunk of demonic shit might be my new, like, grindcore band.
Hunk of hunk of burnin' demonic shit.
Hunk of hunk of burnin' demonic... Yep, yep.
Imagine the merch, dude.
It's gonna be so good.
It's beautiful.
Why are they called Confederate 901?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Is that like the style of jeans they like?
What cut would that be?
Very straight.
Yeah, no ass whatsoever.
Hey, hey.
I'm an assless.
You know this.
That was rude.
Don't naturally shame me.
No, I mean like they're assless chaps.
Oh yeah.
Like it's cut out.
Fuck, that'd be so tight.
Because their butts are so big.
Like there's no material that could constrain them anyway.
That's true.
That'd be kind of cool.
Either that or it's like Confederate 901.
It refers to like a really high upper division class on the Confederacy.
You had to really get there to become the rink.
You had to take eight previous classes to get to that one.
So, let's hear what the Hoi Poloi think about this.
So this is from CPA.
Confederate Patriots of America.
I feel like Confederate Patriots of America wouldn't be very comfortable with actual CPAs.
No.
Yeah.
Ironic.
Typically no, yeah.
I mean, stereotypically, I don't know.
Well, they don't like the tax man either way.
No.
They're all bad.
Well, I'll tell you something, Dennis.
Satan was never an enemy of the state.
If you look at the Constitution, Satan was never an enemy of the state.
He was always allowed.
Yeah.
Joe Kilpatrick says, Again, again, American military statues more than welcome.
Confederate military statues are not American statues.
Enemy of the state.
Get this through your head.
I read this comment and I was like, what, does she think like all military statues are banned or something?
And then I was like, oh no, that's like her way of talking about Confederate statues.
That's like her spin.
This is, we're entering Joe's spin zone here.
Again, Joe.
Go ahead, build like a General Lee.
You know, noose in hand.
Unveil in front of the Capitol.
Keep that shit on a trailer and keep moving.
You can do that.
I'll let you do that.
What if she unveiled it by jumping onto a trailer with the General Lee?
Ooh, yep.
Slid across the top of the trailer?
Yeah.
RJ says, should protest to take down like they do.
Go for it.
Please organize around this, which is, I love this.
Like I love, this is one of my favorite things that we talk about on this show is just like the pathetic calls to rise up the pathetic calls for world war two or world.
I'm sorry.
World war three, civil war two.
You know, uh, lock and load.
This is what's gonna do it.
I mean, I've been, like, pissed off for the last ten years.
But this is it.
But this is it.
This was the final straw.
How many people does it take for them to, like, like it?
And to respond?
If they get, like, 150 people saying, like, yeah, let's do this, is someone gonna be like, okay, cool, so let's meet up here?
Alright cool, I'm going to bring these guns.
Alright sick, I'm going to bring the uniforms.
Cool, now we have a militia of like 400 people through Facebook.
Let's let this war begin.
So what's your question?
How many would that take for them to actually do it?
Are they going to make a Facebook event for this?
They would never do it.
Are they going to do a Facebook invite for this?
There are crazy people who are currently doing this, but we're not hearing from them.
Rightfully so.
They're stocking up on canned goods.
Good for them.
this particular comment because it's it's not aspiring to a civil war it's not aspiring to like an overthrow of every branch of the government except the executive it's um aspiring to to protest hey we could speak out against this it's it's aspiring to leaving your house I wish they would have done it, and like, cool, we're gonna march on the Cow Building, and they show up, and they think to themselves, like, oh, it worked.
It's not here.
We did it, guys!
Like, boomers are just late teenage stoners.
Hypotheticals?
Like, oh, we should totally go to the beach today.
Yeah, man.
I'm going to bring my surfboard.
I'm going to catch a bunch of waves.
Yeah, I'm going to look for slugs and stuff.
And you just slowly melt into the couch.
Dude, we're going to build the sickest castle.
The sickest castle.
We're going to build a moat to the castle.
It's going to have real water features in it.
And then we'll be respected.
Uh, Terry says, it is a piece of shit.
I see it and smell it from here.
Smells like sulfur.
That'd be so sick if they made it smell like sulfur.
Yeah.
They should do that.
Uh, Wanda replies, taking down our historical monuments and putting this up?
Yep.
That's exactly what they did.
Yep.
And then Terry again says, it looks like the devil.
What Terry means to say is, great job guys!
You guys really nailed it!
Terry's really got an eye for art, Garrett.
Wait, that Satan statue looks like the devil!
Can't believe they would model something so close to the devil.
I have bad news for you, Terry.
I once met the devil.
And you know, the devil looked just like you or me.
But with empty eyes.
And leftist views.
So this is Terry's profile picture, which I loved.
Again, go to the YouTube.
Terry, again, wearing a cowboy hat.
We've gotten a lot of those this episode.
But I feel like he's not an authentic cowboy.
I need something to tell me that he's an authentic cowboy.
Oh, don't worry.
He's got a cow skull Like sticker on the top left corner of his profile picture and then he's got like plastic cowboy boots and a lasso looped over them and another cowboy hat leaning up against those plastic cowboy boots.
He's like kind of looking at those cowboy boots and cowboy hat being like yeah yeah I like those.
I don't know if I specified that's another like sticker like image at the bottom right corner and like the only conclusion I could come to is that this guy is just doing irony.
Yeah, cause he's like wearing, he's wearing like a, like a, is that fuchsia blue?
Like is that, like a, I don't know, it's like sky blue?
It's like a very vibrant blue t-shirt.
Looks like an athletic polo maybe.
Like not cowboy wear, for sure.
Oh, okay.
No, I think that this is like, he's like ironically being a dumbass cowboy.
It's like, oh, I'll put a cow skull up here, and I'll put fucking Woody's boots from Toy Story down here, and what's-her-name's hat.
The caption says, round them up, ladies.
There's a snake in my boot, don't tread on it.
That's not a snake in my boot, I'm just happy to see you.
Mike says about the statue, looks like Bill Clinton.
Yep, that's exactly what Bill Clinton... Bill Clinton's fucking ripped.
Bill Clinton's never looked this cool in his life.
Like maybe when he's wearing his shades and playing saxophone he looks a little bit like the devil.
Yeah, if they would have put a sax in the devil's hand it would have looked more like him.
But ironically I think in um... what's that uh... Leslie Nielsen movie Possessed?
Repossessed?
Ironically he plays a saxophone and wears shades to banish the... he plays devil in a blue dress.
So I guess maybe Bill Clinton didn't look as cool as the devil but he did look as cool as Leslie Nielsen in Repossessed.
Leslie Nielsen um... that movie Possessed uh... based all in like uh...
Catholic doctrine and that whole thing, right?
It's all based on historical facts on how to banish the devil?
Yeah, yeah, it's real.
It's real stuff.
You have to play real music to get rid of it, because the devil likes crap, which is what I call rap.
Well, you can't spell one without the other.
Yeah, that's what the devil likes, so if you play him some old-time rock and roll, he just hates it.
Okay, we all know that no one's gonna believe this because we all know damn well there's only one way to banish the devil.
That's with the fiddle off.
We all know this.
Mike says, yeah, looks like Bill Clinton.
Uh, Alan says, That is trash my son will never see the likes of!
Nope, I'm never gonna take my son to see this.
And his profile picture is him and his son, I'm assuming.
And dude looks like the singer of Crowbar.
Shaved head, long salt and pepper goatee.
Wide, it's a girthy goatee too.
Yeah, it's a pretty tight goatee.
No mustache, just a long ass goatee.
He shouldn't be so scared, like, his son's flexing.
I think that his son could probably take the devil.
His son is flexing right next to him.
And, uh, let me again remind you, the comment is, That is trash my son will never see the likes of!
Yep.
Um, and so I'm just imagining, like, they're gonna do a tour with the Baphomet statue.
And, like, it's gonna be coming to their town.
And, like, Alan is gonna just tearfully, like, press a pillow to his son's face.
Uh, so that he doesn't have to... Don't look!
He doesn't have to see it.
You'll never have to look again!
You're gonna be free now.
My son will die before he witnesses this filth!
Um, and then, yeah, just raising his son right, like we said, uh...
Again, go to the YouTube.
Picture of his son in a neon green confederate flag t-shirt.
Bottom text says, keep it flyin'.
Keep it flyin'.
He's wearing it over another brightly colored shirt.
Clearly someone got him this year and was like, oh we gotta put it on right now and take a picture of it.
You'll grow into it.
We got it big so it'll last longer.
We got it big so you can love our country more the whole time.
Our real country.
A meme that I found in this comment section was pretty good.
Somebody made it on the fly.
It was a very talented memester.
It's this statue.
It's the picture we've been talking about the whole time.
Top text, impact font.
Nothing to see here.
Bottom text.
Consume.
Period.
Sleep.
Period.
Conform.
Period.
Obey.
Period.
No independent thought.
Period.
Reproduce.
Period.
Work.
Period.
Money is your god.
Yep.
Yeah, that's what Satanists are all about, is capitalism.
Yeah, you know that whole thing.
I don't know if you knew this, but the McDonald's arches, if you flip the arch over and then inverse the arches, and then if you divide them by thirds, and then those by, again, you'll eventually, and it will be, we'll say, Obama.
Because McDonald's is actually a Satanist corporation that is ran by the Obamas.
Right, that makes sense.
And the chicken nuggets are making us gay.
Well, that's like the whole Belluminati thing.
Yeah, the Belluminati.
It's all one umbrella.
Conform, obey, no independent thought.
Yeah, that's like not what Christianity is known for at all.
It's Satanism, whose mantra is, do what thou wilt.
Yeah, like this is a lyrics to like an integrity song, like this is.
Yeah, I would say more like Earth Crisis.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, totally.
Uh, yeah, money is your god.
Yeah, no, they're, um, anti-capitalist all of a sudden.
Speaking of anti-capitalist, James Martinelli says, Our heroes resisted the tyrant Lincoln.
Lincoln saved the Union for the corporations.
Lincoln, you're a tyrant!
Yeah, I mean, that's what they all belie- I mean, like, yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Sixth Emperor Tyrannus, dude.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah.
Um... You're just saying that you're a piece of shit.
Like, that's all you're saying right now.
Well, it's hilarious because, like, I really want to, um... So, like, this new Dinesh D'Souza movie, uh, Death of a Nation, uh, does directly compare Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln.
And it's just, like... As far as I can tell, it's just the natural...
Sort of the natural progression of the idea that Republicans were the anti-racists.
It's this, oh, Republicans freed the slaves.
Oh, Republicans granted women the right to vote.
It's this sort of thing that totally denies the fact that Republicans used to be the liberal party.
And I'm just wondering, like, what does that take like in genuine Confederate circles?
You know what I mean?
In like genuine southern circles, people who still cling to the Confederacy, who consider the Civil War to be the War of Northern Aggression, who recognize the fact that Lincoln was the ultimate big government because he tried to take away their rights to own slaves.
Like, what do they think of this Dinesh D'Souza propaganda campaign?
Because they still like Trump, you know?
They don't want to associate Trump.
They think Trump is good like Robert E. Lee.
Yeah.
He's better than Lincoln.
He stands with the rights that we have.
So if anyone has access to any sort of conversations like that, if you know a place where that conversation is happening, I would be so fascinated by it.
Because Dinesh D'Souza is so obviously full of shit.
He only works on the people who Love Trump and then want to be convinced that they're the good guy?
Who love Trump and want a brown person to co-sign them?
Yeah, they want an excuse to like him, basically.
And everybody else who actually has convictions, like these people, they know what they believe and it's not that Lincoln was a good Republican.
Mike says, what the hell is that?
An Antifa monument?
This is like another like, oh, is that Bill Clinton?
Yep.
Is that?
Yep.
That's the official Antifa logo.
What are they doing?
Erecting a statue to Chelsea Handler?
Just like whoever you don't like.
Yeah, just whatever.
It just makes no sense.
And then Scott replies, Satan would want nothing to do with those coward pussies.
My Satan's awesome.
My Satan loves conservative values.
Yeah, no, exactly.
This dude had, he was wearing a Black Sabbath shirt.
He had a bunch of, like, Black Sabbath stuff on his profile.
And, uh, yeah.
Hates Antifa.
Loves Satan.
Hates Antifa.
It's like that heartbreaking moment when you realize, like, Slayer, like Slayer, if they had to pick a side, they're fighting against us.
Like, members of Slayer are definitely not down with Antifa.
I think Tamariya is the bad one in Slayer.
Yeah?
Ironically.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's wild.
I think Kerry King is the down one.
Yeah, no, I think you're right.
I think he is down, yeah.
Which is not what you would expect.
And they're Catholics, though, so they're still against this Satan thing.
Like, Tom Araya was the one that was posting MAGA shit.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure it was him.
I think you're right.
Because, like, Kerry King was like, I didn't do that shit.
Yeah.
He seems pretty okay.
But Slayer is always, like, flirted with Nazi imagery and shit.
But finding out that Slayer, like, most of the members go to church on a regular basis, finding that's kind of a bummer.
I don't know if they go to church on a regular basis.
I know Tom Uriah is a Catholic.
He identifies as Catholic.
Like, that's kind of a bummer.
It's kind of a bummer, but there's also so much mental imagery associated with actual Catholicism.
Like, I'm down with silent scream, even though it's about abortion.
Still rules.
Still rules, yeah.
It's horrific if you're actually embodying a full-grown adult in the belly of a woman who's getting killed.
Yeah, it's a horrifying image.
Sure, it rules.
I'm gonna play that song for my grandma and see how she feels about it.
No, it's tight.
It's cool.
It's on your side.
You should play this at church next Sunday.
SILENT SCREAM!
CRUCIFY THE UNBORN!
There you go, see?
Yeah, it's good.
It's good shit.
That rules.
Talk about crucifying anybody.
And it's good for a metal song.
True.
Neil Hollingsworth says you can thank Hillary, Chelsea, and that crew.
Check out the upside-down crosses they wear around their necks.
What are you talking about?
If you knew how many more votes they would have got if she was wearing upside-down crosses around their necks, it would have ruled.
Yeah, dude.
Check out this thing that I totally saw somewhere.
Like, did they actually see this?
Did somebody photoshop?
I mean, I know it didn't exist, but did somebody photoshop it and they saw it?
And also, why are you not sharing this image?
Why aren't you showing us?
Help us out.
Or did they just, like, imagine it?
I think so.
I think they, like, they must have that.
Like, I'm so interested in what Neil was thinking when he commented.
The beasts are marked, dude.
It says it in the Bible.
You will see it.
They will know.
And sometimes they wear like sweet jewelry that's upside down cross.
Yeah.
I just, I love this.
Like it's not even referring to like Hillary shape shifting.
No.
Which there are like supposedly videos of Hillary like changing forms on accident.
It's really, when you see it man, when you see it.
Just wait till you see it.
Like, it would just be understandable if somebody left a comment about, like, oh, I saw Hillary change into a demon.
I would be like, okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
You're right.
But talking about, like, haven't you seen Hillary's Baphomet tattoo?
Like, what?
That's a new one.
Her entire back.
Yeah, that's a new one.
It's a back piece.
She's just a red dragon.
It's a back Baph piece.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Doug Hessen says, throw red paint and your own blood on it and see if the media treats you like some kind of hero.
Please!
Please do this!
So this is like a reference to people throwing paint at the Confederate statues?
Yeah.
Throwing red paint but like he thinks people threw their own blood on it?
That'd be so hard.
Yeah, I don't think you should do that.
I've been saving this blood for weeks.
And it's like, also throw red paint and your own blood.
Like, I think you should just do one or the other.
No, see it's cool.
You have like a gallon of paint, and like a couple drops of your blood, but it's there.
Well, see, it's not like clear vinyl where if you just insert a couple drops of period blood into it, then it makes this cool pink swirl in the disc.
It's not like that.
It's just red paint.
That's it.
I hope someone got that.
Yeah, it's a good record.
It is.
Yeah, no, like, just put a couple drops of your blood in red paint.
Unless you're a virgin, then I would recommend omitting the blood to avoid creating a demonic spell.
Yes.
Because then you might actually possess the statue and it become real.
And then, you know, we'll have a whole different war on our hands.
Well, the good thing is nobody's a virgin anymore.
Well, the good thing is that Keanu Reeves is still alive and kicking.
So if this statue does come to life, he can take care of it.
Did he, uh... Did the cancer come back?
Like, did he stop smoking after he got it ripped out of his chest?
Uh, I'm sure he did.
It's just lip cancer, though, from he dips.
It's just lip cancer.
Well, I'm not answering that.
An unnamed number from Redlands, California.
Interesting.
William says, thou shalt not make unto a graven image.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Yep.
So he's explaining to Satanists, like, one of the Ten Commandments.
Guys, this is, like, one of the biggest commandments you're not supposed to break.
This is, like, an obvious one, guys.
Like, they, like, like, they made a mistake?
Like, they didn't know?
Like, they're Christians.
Yeah.
And they just didn't know this one commandment?
You guys are doing it wrong.
Stop it.
You know you guys aren't being very Christian right now.
Yeah.
You guys are really blowing it.
Church of Satan.
Yeah.
Well, church is in the word.
Keith says, they're not even trying to be subtile.
No, they're not.
This is like one of my favorites.
Yep.
God!
Them unveiling a giant statue of Baphomet on the Capitol steps, it's like they're not even trying to hide it.
Yeah.
They got up there, unveiled it, and they all went, shh, don't talk about it.
It's the secret.
Hey guys, why don't you leave some to the imagination, huh?
They called the Newsy back, hey guys, listen, we're gonna do this, but don't come.
We want this to be secret.
God, if they're trying to keep their, uh... If they're trying to keep their wicked faith under wraps, they're doing a really bad job of it.
Yeah, they're blowing it.
Let's see if this worked.
Okay, good, it did.
Okay, so Keith... We're gonna do a little deep dive on Keith here.
Uh, Keith, they're not even trying to be subtile.
Sigze Panayak.
Let's give this dog a bone.
Alright.
Go to the YouTube.
Go to the YouTube, folks.
Holy shit.
He's a visual artist, right?
Yeah, obviously.
He's like a physical artist.
Visual artist.
So let's just start from top to bottom.
Top being his cover photo of him staring directly into the camera outdoors in a wooded area surrounded by trees and what looks like a chicken wire over his right shoulder.
Shirtless with a choker necklace doing a karate pose at the camera.
Yeah.
And he's also like kind of smiling while he's doing it.
Yeah.
His brow is furrowed but he's smiling and it's just his head dead center facing the camera while he raises his left hand as if to say hiya.
He's like a tough smirk for sure.
Moving down we get his profile picture.
Which we can't quite make out, but what we can tell, like there's a lot going on in this profile picture, but what we can tell is that it's a scene from Gladiator, the movie with Russell Crowe from the year 2000.
It's the scene from Gladiator.
It's the are you not entertained scene from Gladiator, and yes we are.
Of Jay-Z's Black Album fame.
Thought I was from Falling Cycle fame.
Yes.
Don't they have a gladiator quote?
Yeah, totally.
What we do in life echoes in eternity.
And moving down, more on that later.
Moving down, we get his bio that says Private Personal Trainer in all caps.
Yep.
So I take that to mean that Keith is personally training your privates.
Yep.
That's what he's trying to do here.
I personally will train your private jet.
I'm a private trainer.
A private personal trainer.
And he just does like the Cesar Millan thing where he goes... You have to make it respect you.
So let's look more closely at this profile picture.
Okay, so again, it's... Again, it is the scene from Gladiator.
Russell Crowe yelling, are you not entertained?
Spreading his arms.
However, there's a very specific context for this scene because it's bordered by other information.
Top and bottom.
And the top black stripe says Rotten Tomatoes.
20 essential movies.
essential movies to 200 200 essential movies to watch now huh and And then the bottom text, which is cut off, the bottom bracket, the bottom border, which is cut off, says, see the whole list on Fandango.com.
200.
Mm-hmm.
And then on the picture itself, it says number 195, Gladiator, with a 76% Rotten Tomatoes rating.
On a list of 200, 195 is not that impressive.
Shouldn't even be on the list.
Like, at all.
Like, I know it still counts as the top 200, but it shouldn't make it.
Yeah.
Shouldn't count.
76% gets you into... See, that's the problem with grading on a curve.
That's the problem.
Everyone gets an award.
So these millennials are the ones to blame for this one.
But the best part, yeah, the best part of it Also, there's a filter on top that says, I stand for the flag.
Yep.
And has an American flag flying, flying high.
And it's like, it's not like American flag ribbon over it.
It's like an actual American flag on a pole that's being lifted into, uh, into frame.
And it's not even, I stand for the anthem.
It's I stand for the flag.
Yeah.
Every time I see the flag, I stand for it.
And this is, yeah, this is Russell Crowe, like, making his stand, also for a flag, which is just like, you know, your belief.
This is all based on a, um, this is an inside joke with one of his buddies, when, uh, they went to the, uh, the Cowboys game, and this fuckin', um, this Jagaloon behind him, sittin' for the goddamn anthem, and he turned around and looked at him, and he asked him, he said, Are you not entertained?! !
I thought you were going to say he turned around and the guy sitting down, refusing to stand, also had a hair lip.
Yep.
Yep.
And they were like, this is just like Gladiator.
And then he cut his head off.
Yeah.
No, he stabbed him in the side.
Yep.
But then he also died.
Yeah.
What prompts somebody to make this their profile picture?
Is this supposed to be a profile picture?
Is this like something that Rotten Tomatoes and Fandango did to target weird, weird boomers?
Tell Facebook.
Because this profile picture has been there for a while.
It's been there long enough to get a filter over the top of it.
That's the best part.
It's the second bit of effort.
So if he didn't do that, he must have screen grabbed it somehow.
And then to put the filter on top of it is just the best.
Um, I think that just this should be its own frame.
Rotten Tomatoes 200 Essential Movies to Watch Now.
Yep.
See the full list on Fandango.com.
And then you put yourself in it?
Yeah, it's just your own.
Yeah.
Like, let's do it.
You put your dog in it?
I think we can make our own frame on Facebook.
I think, yeah, yeah.
I think we can do it.
Let's do it, let's do it, yeah.
And then it should just be Gladiator.
We'll always have the 195 right here, 70%, but whatever picture you want.
Whatever picture you want, yeah.
Okay, I like that.
Okay, more from his profile.
And I just, I can't even make fun of this guy because he's clearly much cooler than we were suspecting.
I don't know why he's hiding behind the gladiator scene as his profile picture, because he's got plenty of other great material on his Facebook, including an entire photo shoot of him wearing all denim, including a denim vest without an undershirt, sitting on a motorcycle wearing sunglasses and holding one single rose.
Yep.
Yep.
I think there's a caption under it and I think it says, um, uh, on the way to fuck your bitch.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's what it says.
There's an implied warning.
Yeah.
Uh, of slippery when wet.
Yep.
Yep.
Uh, ladies, ladies, guard your loins, cover your eyes.
Literally like the coolest guy we've ever had on the show.
Easily.
Cannot make fun of this.
At all.
That's... I don't think... That rose is not real, right?
There's no way that flower is real.
It's like stem is too straight.
It looks like a gummy orange on a stick.
Absolutely, yeah.
And then the next one, uh, the other one is just him entirely shirtless, flexing.
Twisted to the side, presenting the rose.
This is like, it's a photo from 1993 and he still looks like he's about 60 years old.
Yeah.
Uh, but he is fucking ripped and he does have like an Icarus tattoo on his shoulder.
This is actually from his, like, this is from his bachelor audition tape.
Dude, totally his bachelorette.
Yeah.
Look how good I look with a rose.
Or maybe this is just a, he's just like a DSA guy.
Yep, that's exactly what it is.
I think that's what, I think that's what it is.
This is a DSA photo shoot.
Uh, he didn't get the memo that you're just supposed to use the emoji.
Like, you don't need to actually pose with a rose.
Let's, let's smash the proletariat and run into the sunrise.
Sunset.
The sunset.
Yeah, seriously folks, I'm probably going to put this picture up on the Instagram, but you need to see the rest.
Go to the YouTube, search Minion Death Cult on YouTube, subscribe to the Patreon, patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult for a bonus episode every week.
Last episode, something you need to hear.
The funniest, hands down the funniest comedian we've ever covered on this show.
Wow, yeah, yeah.
You thought Steven Crowder was funny?
You've never heard Terrence K. Williams.
You've never heard Terrence K. Williams.
The man's a legend.
You can hear Terrence K. Williams for free by listening to the 10-minute bonus clip in this podcast feed from last week.
I highly recommend that you do, even if you don't subscribe.
That is some good shit.
Now, I don't want to get you guys too excited, but I'm saying that we might have found somebody You might have found somebody to step into the big shoes of Bernie Mac for the Kings of Comedy.
I think we might have another Kings of Comedy tour.
That literally just broke my heart.
I love Bernie Mac, but I really feel like Steve Harvey would love Terrence K. Williams.
Steve Harvey's a real bag of shit.
Yeah, that's interesting.
I wonder how- I don't know, I think Steve Harvey wouldn't put up with this shit.
No, Steve Harvey would love him.
You think so?
Trust, yeah.
Okay.
Alright.
Yeah.
Steve Harvey hates gay people.
But I still think, like, Steve Harvey's seen so much cringe-inducing shit, like, he would not put up with it.
Yeah, he still wouldn't think it's funny, yeah.
Yeah.
He might like the content, but the delivery, he would- yeah.
So yeah, maybe he'll workshop him.
We'll see.
Yeah, Patreon.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult for a bonus feed right in your podcast with an extra episode every week.
Also, check out That Awful Sound this week if you don't listen.
A very fun episode on Red Hot Chili Peppers' chillest song ever, Californication.
Ooh, that sounds like the sex word almost.
Yeah, it's a sad, sexy song about how California is fucking the rest of the world.
In a good way, maybe?
Oh, yeah, okay, alright, alright.
It's like, it's the only way that Anthony Kiedis knows how to describe an exchange of any kind is via fluids.
It's the only song that I know that is so good they made a TV series out of it.
Don't worry, we talk about it.
Awesome.
Okay, write to us at MinionDeathCult at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
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