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June 18, 2018 - Minion Death Cult

01:15:30

51 - "I Hate The Children"

This week we address the utterly cruel Trump administration policy of separating immigrant children from their families, and the various apologia supporting it, including: "the Bible," "the Democrats," and "I have cancer." Also, we're giving this month's Patreon proceeds to Immigrant Defenders Law Center. Come to the Inland Empire DSA meeting this Wednesday, 7:30pm, in Riverside, CA. Get a bonus episode of MDC every week at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult

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	Can I get a conversational tone for me, Tony?
	A conversational tone for me.
	Here it is.
	It's for you.
	Can you say Shrek a bunch?
	Shrek.
	Shrek 1, 2.
	Shrek.
	Say Shrek 1, 2, 3, and 4.
	I saw this really bizarre Shrek meme today that was like Steve Buscemi's face like pasted on to Shrek's head.
	Sounds perfectly normal to me.
	It was like a lot going on.
	It was one of those ones.
	It was not a deep fried, but it was Super deep cut.
	You have to share it a lot.
	You have to personally fry it.
	It has to be shared a hundred times.
	Those are the best kinds.
	I love deep fried memes.
	I'm going to just say it again.
	There's nothing wrong with saying it's good, because it's good.
	What color of the pride flag represents a love of deep fried memes?
	Green for Shrek.
	Or yellow for Spongebob.
	Or yellow for Minions.
	Oh fuck!
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
	So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	But stay tuned, guys, and we'll show you exactly what, uh... we'll show you exactly what it looks like when...
	Yeah, okay, I think we're good.
	Cool.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	I'm Martin Matt.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult.
	Go!
	The world is ending.
	Your Instagram feed is responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	Your Instagram feed is responsible.
	Yeah, that's what I meant to say.
	My personal one post in my Instagram is responsible for all the ills of the world, or at least most of them.
	Because we're talking about a encounter we had with a person that I know who follows me on Instagram for some reason, but it relates to the larger subject of this episode, which is the Trump administration's treatment of immigrant families and the That Nazi shit we're doing, that Nazi shit we're doing with kids and real deal immigrants at the border.
	That's all we're talking about today.
	We got a few different segments on the subject, but it's an extremely important topic.
	Yes.
	And we are devoting the whole show to it today.
	I just like I I think this is crazy where it's if you're looking at this and you see the pictures that are shown and you're aware of what's going on at the border, this is In my opinion, one of the most blatant, worst things that this country has ever done.
	And it's, it looks absolutely horrible, and like, I just, like, there's no way to make excuses for this shit.
	Yeah, it's what we're doing and also what the administration is doing to, I don't know, justify it or to try and make excuses for it or to say that it's the right thing to do.
	Any other administration would obviously see the political suicide that it is to rip breastfeeding infants from their mother's arms, which is literally something that happened, Uh, any other administration would see that and say, hey, this is probably a bad idea.
	Like, if we want to ever work in politics again, if we want to not be, uh, beaten to death in the streets, this is probably a bad thing to do.
	But, obviously, uh, there's a new sheriff in town.
	And, uh, studied at the school of Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
	And, uh, that's what's going on.
	So the reason, if you're a Patreon subscriber, thank you so much by the way, but the reason the episode was late this week is because we were at a rally in support of immigrant families.
	This was a rally put on by various immigrant advocate groups and it was great to see about a 100?
	Yeah.
	How many would you say, Tony?
	About 100 to 150.
	Yeah.
	At its most.
	Packed out a whole little church.
	It's just in Riverside.
	Yeah.
	Not a big city by any means.
	This is basically what's going on before we get into the content and the comments.
	Basically what's happening, if you're not aware, at least 1,500 immigrant children are being detained inside of an empty Walmart in Texas right now.
	These are immigrant children who have been deliberately separated from their families.
	We'll get into Why this is happening from the perspective of the Trump administration, but it's obviously just a complete atrocity, a complete lack of humanity, just whatever, like the opposite of humanity, inhumanity, I guess.
	That's a good word you came up with.
	I think it's hilarious that, like I said, these kids are being held in a Walmart in Texas, an empty Walmart in Texas.
	This is just the only detention center we've been allowed to see during the Trump administration, the only child detention center we've been allowed to see, the press has been allowed in.
	And I think it's amazing that this is being done inside of an empty Walmart in Texas.
	Do we remember the Jade Helm conspiracy?
	Oh, yeah.
	I was about to reference it.
	Do you remember?
	Maybe give the listener a brief rundown of what the Jade Helm conspiracy was.
	Oh, you're talking about the Walmarts being converted into FEMA camps?
	That's exactly what I'm talking about.
	FEMA prisons.
	This was a conspiracy theory.
	I can't remember the exact year.
	It was during Obama's term.
	There was basically some sort of backup plan to be able to house Refugees, etc.
	inside these large empty buildings.
	Specifically empty Walmarts.
	Walmarts that have been closed down in Texas.
	And the right wing got a hold of this because... God, can you imagine something as terrible as detaining white people in an empty Walmart?
	Wouldn't that be so fucking frightening?
	It'd be awesome.
	This is a conspiracy theory that motivated, I mean, when it was just a conspiracy theory, it motivated Senator Ted Cruz.
	It motivated the governor of Texas to petition the White House for an explanation on what they were going to do with Americans.
	How could you possibly think about detaining Americans in this wall?
	You know, political prisoners, white people, good people.
	How could you possibly think of detaining them in this Walmart?
	And I wonder where Senator Ted Cruz is now.
	I wonder what he's doing.
	Oh yeah, he's playing basketball with Jimmy Kimmel.
	Literally.
	That's what he's doing.
	Can you imagine that conversation, though, where somebody in the White House is like, you know, that idea, it's so crazy.
	It's so crazy.
	It just might work for people that aren't quite real people.
	Who in the White House- It might work for them.
	Who in the White House thought of that, do you think?
	Anybody who heard that- Probably Trump.
	Probably Stephen Miller?
	Yeah.
	And definitely Trump.
	I mean- Infowars motherfucker.
	I think it's like, Trump was just like, Trump, Stephen Miller were like, hey how about we dig holes in the desert and put all these brown children in there and then they, and then somebody at the White House was like, oh well we actually have like empty buildings and Trump's like, yeah, alright I guess.
	But also, you know, Trump was just chomping at the bit to get in those low prices right now.
	Getting on the market there, you know?
	Hey, it's free real estate.
	It's a buyer's market right now.
	Hey, if the economy's doing so well, like Trump says it is, then those Walmarts should have been full of low-priced products for all of us, because that's the sign of a good economy is when Walmart is around.
	Oh wait, China terrorists.
	Oh right, yeah.
	So, that's just a very interesting thing that this nutty conspiracy theory about putting conservatives in empty Walmarts Actually, like you said, Matt came to fruition, but for brown children.
	Yeah, it's like they took, like you said, Tony, they took that whole Jade Helm thing.
	They're like, wait, I forgot about that.
	There actually are empty Walmarts.
	Let's pipe the kids into those Walmarts.
	What's crazy about this whole thing, too, is I had two experiences back-to-back with this issue.
	This very live issue that, for us, is a local issue, and I can promise you that if you actually look, it's a local issue for you, too.
	Yeah.
	This is a local issue for America.
	Ice, baby.
	It is very heavy where we live, the Inland Empire in Southern California.
	It is very important here.
	But I had two experiences.
	I had one, and I was talking to this guy who I used to work with.
	I forgot how it casually came up, but he's like a big Ben Shapiro fan.
	Oh cool, yeah.
	Oh yeah, that guy is sick.
	Which I didn't see coming for some reason.
	I thought he was better than that.
	That sucks.
	You probably had to keep his logic and reason in the closet while he was at work so he didn't get discriminated against.
	I saw him really holding back.
	He didn't want to slam dunk on me.
	But I brought this issue up and he didn't even know about it.
	He had no clue.
	Awesome.
	He had no clue.
	He's like, no, I think if people knew that this was happening to kids, people like kids.
	He's telling me that.
	He's like, no, I'm being reasonable.
	People like kids.
	And then I was having conversations with my own kid.
	She'll be five in August.
	And, uh, I was telling her what- cause I took- we- she went to the rally with me.
	And, um- No, that was me.
	That was- that was Matt.
	And I was telling a 5 year old- I'm just a kid.
	I don't understand how shit works.
	I was telling adorable, almost 5 year old Matt, um, in the backseat, I was telling- telling her, uh, what's going on at a very basic level.
	And she straight up just said, she's like, yeah, like, you shouldn't keep kids in cages.
	Boom.
	She just- she just said it real simple.
	She's like- she's a kid.
	She's like, that would suck.
	I would hate being in a cage.
	Yeah, real quick, my niece is two, no, yeah, she's just over, two and a half.
	Her mom was like, isn't, from Beauty and the Beast, isn't the Beast scary?
	And she said, no, he's not scary.
	Hymns have good heart.
	Like, kids are so awesome.
	Yeah.
	They're so great.
	So that's what me and her wrote on the sign.
	Oh no, yeah, the signs were beautiful.
	Yeah, you guys look so good.
	I looked great out there.
	I'm a young four-year-old girl.
	If you ask me, the real beast in Beauty and the Beast is Gaston.
	That's my hot take on that 70-year-old movie.
	You gotta keep that kind of shit to yourself.
	That was the most cuck shit I've ever heard.
	What are you, a soy boy or whatever?
	So...
	We went to this rally.
	This is an important thing.
	It's probably the most important thing happening in the country right now.
	It's important to speak out on this issue.
	It's important to find out what sort of immigrant advocacy is going on in your area and try to help out however you can.
	That's what we're trying to do on our own and with the Inland Empire DSA.
	So if you live In the area, if you live in the Inland Empire, we have a DSA meeting this Wednesday, June 20th, 7.30pm at the Riverside Life Arts Center.
	It's open to the public, you can come in.
	We're hopefully going to be having one of the lawyers who works at the Immigration Defenders Law Center speak at that meeting to help us understand what we can do.
	To help out basically and one thing we're gonna do on our own this podcast is we're gonna donate All the proceeds not just profit not after cost but everything that comes into patreon this month We're gonna be donating to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center It should be around a hundred bucks So if you subscribe to the patreon this month your money will be going to a much better cause than this podcast.
	Yeah, so Also come to that DSA meeting.
	We need people there.
	I think I talked about it with the guys earlier.
	Maybe in the future we'll start donating a percentage of the Patreon to probably this foundation, if not others too.
	I don't know.
	It's good use of our money.
	Anyway, yeah.
	This whole month is gonna go to the Immigration Defenders Law Center, the Riverside.
	Hopefully we can funnel it into the Riverside.
	I.E., baby.
	Arm of that.
	Okay, so.
	Tony and I posted, you know, about going to the rally, trying to get people out to the rally.
	I posted the signs I made.
	You should be more sensitive when you post shit like that on Instagram.
	Sensitive to all my followers, yeah.
	Even this weird mom.
	All 350 of my followers.
	I should be more sensitive to the rich rainbow of people who follow me, including someone's mom who had a much different opinion Uh, than- than we did about this issue.
	Um, she basically just wilded out on my- on my Instagram, uh, which was pretty fucking hilarious.
	Um, I have a- I have some comments here from her.
	She said, Obama brought MS-13 to USA and it was not for peace, love, and happiness.
	You might want to actually do some research before jumping on the rhetorical bandwagon.
	Cool.
	Okay, sure.
	She wants me to do some research about how Obama brought MS-13 to USA.
	So I'm assuming she's talking about going to PatriotsAreUs.ProtestNFL or something.
	That's where she probably does her research.
	Dot org.
	Any dot org.
	Well, the dot NFL was the suffix.
	You can do a custom suffix on it.
	That's pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	So I think that's interesting, like, you know, telling people to do research when you, like, got your information from a meme.
	You ever heard of QAnon, dude?
	Uh, yeah, I have.
	I mean, I'm sure there's some bit about Obama in it, so just check it out, dude.
	Okay, yeah.
	And then, um, I said something to the effect of they've been trying to scare us with MS-13 since the early 2000s.
	This is not a new phenomenon.
	Like, they were already using the scare tactic, using the specter of brown people with face tattoos to try and scare Americans in probably 2000.
	Yeah, oh yeah.
	I remember seeing World's Most Dangerous Gang, a National Geographic documentary.
	I think it came out in, like, 2004, maybe 2005.
	But, like, you know, yeah.
	It's very old.
	It's rich fodder for, like, CNN or MSNBC.
	You're really lucky that in the midst of this conversation, a third party didn't chime in about how MS-13 killed their dad and really shut the conversation down.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah, we are.
	So this conversation went a lot smoother.
	Right.
	They then replied, oh, I was like, you know, MS-13 is being used as a distraction so that Trump can justify his administration's treatment of all immigrants, and you're falling for it?
	And she said, uh, I'm not falling for anything.
	How old were you in 2000?
	Three question marks.
	And it's like, uh, I was 13.
	Far too old to be frightened by media boogeymen.
	And then she replied, I'm not frightened by much of anything.
	I have incurable cancer.
	Okay, cool.
	I look death in the eyes every morning!
	So listen to me and I'm right because I had cancer.
	It's like, hold on.
	Hold on.
	You're really gonna do that?
	I'm not afraid of anything.
	I've raised three daughters.
	But isn't that a fucking... Is that episode of Seinfeld?
	Or is it episode of Curb Enthusiasm?
	Oh yeah, it's episode of Curb.
	That's not Seinfeld, that's Curb.
	That's an HBO only plotline.
	You're saying she's a survivor?
	Yes.
	But not like from the TV show?
	Uh, yeah.
	I am aware of what's going on in the world and defend my right to free speech as much as yours.
	So like, immediately just like reverting to like, I have the right to say this on your Instagram account.
	Do not, do not try to stifle my free speech.
	Like, no, I'm just saying you're wrong.
	Like, that's all I'm saying.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Well, the difference is, like, you can say it all you want, but once you take marker to the cardboard and make a sign to hold up, that's when you're pushing it.
	Right, that's not speech anymore.
	That's when you're putting it in my face.
	Yeah, that's like, that's like, that's freedom of the press.
	And that's a whole different thing.
	Truly.
	That we should be cracking down on.
	Ben Franklin invented the Sharpie.
	Facts?
	Facts.
	Tight.
	And then she went on to say, what I'm trying to say here is, I'm disappointed your generation is supporting MS-13 and you don't give a fuck what they do.
	Yeah, I think MS-13 looks cool as fuck.
	FaceTats, I aspire to look that cool.
	I don't know this person, but a lot of people from their generation purchase opiates off the street, so they're the ones supporting MS-13.
	And that was her line of argument throughout the entire thing, was you're supporting rape and murder and torture because you don't want the detention of children.
	Like, we never said anything positive about MS-13.
	Well, I don't feel any positive way about MS-13, except, like I said, the tattoos are pretty cool.
	Can you imagine having to, like, come up with all this, like, logic and reason for detaining children?
	Separating them from their kids?
	Um, I think you can just say MS-13 a lot.
	Yeah.
	That's all you have to do.
	That is... it's just sad.
	Well, let's just think about it, though.
	If these kids weren't putting these kennels, they might be MS-13ing right now.
	Hey, I'm 13.
	Can I be MS2?
	Or whatever?
	And then I said, you know, she's disappointed in our generation for supporting MS2.
	I said, I'm disappointed in your generation, like, believing anything that's put in front of your face as long as it has a picture of Clint Eastwood tied to it.
	Oh, yeah!
	And then she, oh thank you, and then she replied, Typical dimmer.
	Unable to admit what they are supporting.
	Just blind.
	So, like, she's referring to me in, like, the first per- third person omniscient?
	Like, she's not in my mentions having a conversation with me?
	Yeah, she's exposing you to some people and they're gonna look at this and, like, you're not allowed to talk to her anymore.
	Berate anyone for their opinion if it doesn't match yours.
	Clint Eastwood, you're hysterical.
	Which I do appreciate, like, that she appreciated my joke.
	Yeah, she did.
	She liked it.
	But yeah, once again, berating anyone for their opinion.
	This again just devolves into, no I'm legally allowed to say this.
	If that's your argument, it's a bad argument.
	It's like obvious that your shit is indefensible otherwise.
	Legally, I am allowed to be for detaining brown children in a cage.
	I'm for it.
	So she said a lot of other stuff.
	These are like the highlights of it.
	But she said a lot of other stuff that we're going to get to in other comment sections anyway, so I didn't include it.
	You mean they.
	It's not a lady.
	It's just an unnamed person.
	Well, I mean, I already said her gender several times.
	Oh yeah, mom.
	Could be a dad though, too.
	You never know.
	But it's a mom.
	But it isn't, mom.
	Right.
	Good stuff.
	I think the whole point of this is, guys, another reminder that this is... These are not anomalies.
	We don't have to search hard for these comments.
	These people are everywhere.
	They are your friends' moms.
	That's who they are.
	They're everybody.
	They're around you.
	They're my old co-worker.
	They're out there.
	The first post that they have...
	Nodding to Matt over here.
	On their Instagram is a person holding a Trump flag, Make America Great Again, that has like Hawaiian in the comment section, has Hawaiian phrases in the comment section, and then it's like, you know, hashtag I still love him.
	Hashtag 311.
	Hashtag Elvis.
	311 for KKK.
	Hashtag protect our children.
	Yeah, the HOUR wasn't in all caps, so I think that's a typo.
	Can I just say it?
	Definitely an intent.
	Future for white children type shit.
	Yeah, that's exactly what that is.
	There weren't quite 14 words in that hashtag, but she was getting there.
	Okay, so I have a thing from the New York Times.
	I've been wrapping my head around the legal framework that the Trump administration is using to justify this.
	It's a very sort of complicated backstory.
	And of course Trump isn't, you know, Trump is being disingenuous in the media so adding to the confusion.
	But I'm just going to read here from the New York Times and maybe flesh it out a little bit from what other things I've read.
	But New York Times said here, technically there is no Trump administration policy stating that illegal border crossers must be separated from their children.
	But the quote, zero tolerance policy results in unlawful immigrants being taken into federal criminal custody, at which point their children are considered unaccompanied alien minors and taken away.
	Basically what this means is because of the way that the Trump administration is choosing to prosecute undocumented people, it's making them de facto criminals, therefore their children need to be taken away.
	That is fucking insane.
	Whereas in the past we've prosecuted, I'll use the word processed, we've processed undocumented immigrants through the civil system.
	Therefore, they were allowed to be kept with children under the civil umbrella.
	But because of this zero tolerance policy, any undocumented immigrant here is not eligible for asylum.
	They're not eligible for any of the sort of legal frameworks that they used to be.
	Who's responsible for the zero tolerance policy?
	Cool!
	Y'all cool.
	Y'all real good.
	- Cool, y'all real good.
	- No, it's cool.
	Jeff Sessions justifies it here.
	- Oh yeah. - With a statement.
	I would cite you to the, okay, that doesn't make sense.
	I would refer you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government.
	Oh, cool.
	Said Mr. Sessions, quoting Bible verses as he took exception to evangelical leaders who have called the practice abhorrent, quote, because God has ordained them for the purpose of order.
	So, you know your shit's fucked up when evangelical leaders are against you.
	Yeah.
	What's... Taking that...
	Taking the biblical angle to be against kids is fucking brutal.
	Because, I mean, there's a lot of quotes about kids in the Bible and that are literally all like, welcome all the children.
	Please take care of the children.
	Like, help the kids out.
	That's what the Bible says.
	Well, there's also verses in the Bible where it's like the Holy Spirit went into the houses of the Egyptians and took the life of the firstborn son of every household in Egypt.
	I would... What's up?
	Well, I would cite you to Romans 13 where God said that if a dude makes a law for a land, then you have to abide by it.
	So you gotta really think about that when you're operating.
	This is the booby trap you enter when you try to use the Bible to own conservatives.
	It's crazy.
	It's like God made me, I made the law, so abide by the law.
	That's essentially like the dumb version of this?
	Yeah, that's one of the things that the Bible says.
	It's the give Rome what is Rome's quote.
	Crazy.
	I appreciate the attempt To try and appeal to Christians in conservative circles.
	I appreciate the sentiment to try and say, oh, Jesus fed people for free.
	I appreciate the sentiment, oh, Jesus welcomed foreigners into his arms, etc.
	Poor people.
	Sick.
	It doesn't work.
	Because for each positive quote you can cite in the Bible, there's also some super fucked up shit that they can turn around and give right back to you.
	If the Bible says something about overturning the tables of the moneylenders in the church, it also says something about slaves obeying their masters.
	This is not the document to cite for a moral argument.
	It's never... I mean, if it works for you, then that's great.
	It's never going to work on somebody who just doesn't give a shit.
	Especially when, like, a growing atheist population is occurring within the United States and the Western world in general.
	It's not gonna work.
	You can't cite fucking biblical shit.
	Can't do it.
	And you just said that.
	This is the same book that people also use to justify hating gay dudes?
	Yes.
	And like, have you ever met a gay dude?
	Like, they're awesome.
	They're amazing.
	I will also say, like, I think Jesus as a, like, Person or whatever like there's a lot of cool stuff that he said and I think that's nice, but you know what you know I'll said cool shit Buddha, you know I'll said cool shit Muhammad So why don't we just, like, take what we like and what is good from these things and leave the shit away.
	Right, but it's not... And not be fundamentalists.
	I remember strongly a Simpsons quote.
	A Simpsons quote comes to mind.
	Hey, I'm trying to get up there with you.
	Flanders experiencing calamity in his own life.
	Flanders, the model Christian, appealing to the church.
	You know, why have you taken my home from me?
	Why have you crushed my house and only my house?
	I've done everything that the Bible says, including the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
	That's all you need to know about the Bible, is that for every good thing, there's something that contradicts it.
	God literally wiped out the entire Earth and started over.
	God genocided everyone.
	You need some genocide?
	Cite the Bible.
	You need some war crimes?
	Cite the Bible.
	They're there.
	Moses loved them.
	But like I was going to say though, uh, Queer Eye is the one thing that's making me want to check Jesus out again.
	Oh yeah?
	Oh yeah.
	They're kind of shooting themselves in the foot with that.
	You talking about episode one of the new season?
	Yeah.
	That's probably what they were going for.
	Episode one, season two.
	That's the cheeseballiest shit ever.
	No spoilers.
	Okay, yeah, I haven't seen those two episodes, so.
	Good ones.
	Okay, uh, so, when we were talking about The Muslim ban.
	Remember when the Muslim ban was a big topic?
	Yeah.
	And when it was a possibility, maybe?
	I think it's going on right now.
	Yeah.
	I think they've revised it to make it quote, legal.
	It happened and it's happening.
	Yeah.
	Good God.
	When that was going on and people were trying to own the Christian conservatives by their own logic, by their own biblical logic, there was a meme floating around.
	You guys might remember this.
	It goes something like, Heaven has a wall.
	And a strict vetting process.
	They're literally using the idea of heaven, the idea of paradise, to justify keeping out brown people.
	So there's nothing you can do that the Bible won't help them do better.
	Real quick though, the Muslim ban, all that, when that happened, there was a lot of urgency around it.
	People rushed to the airport, lawyers rushed to the airports.
	Like, honestly, calling out to all the people that have any type of power, if you can do that, you need to put the same urgency into this issue as we did that one.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	There's places for you guys to show up and try to fight for people.
	I gotta take my usual stance and defend the comments.
	Have you ever been to America?
	It's fuckin' heaven, dude.
	Okay, tight.
	So, like, put a wall there and, like, you can protect heaven and shit.
	So, this is the post that, uh, I don't know, Jeff Sessions took umbrage with from Franklin Graham.
	You're like, Franklin Graham?
	He's a conservative monster.
	What is he doing criticizing the Trump administration?
	I don't even know who he was.
	Did you really not?
	Yeah, I have no idea who this asshole is.
	You didn't have to know who he was.
	You knew by that name that he was probably a piece of shit.
	He sounds like a fucking, like a... Okay, I have no idea who he is.
	I did read his post, but is he like a... like a preacher?
	He's an evangelical force of nature.
	Does he have a cool, like, big old church where it's like a huge thing?
	Absolutely.
	Oh, that's cool.
	You know he does.
	You know he's got one of those huge things.
	His fucking, uh... His, like, headshot?
	It's on some, like...
	Like, wrestler shit.
	It's on some, like, million-dollar man shit.
	Hell yeah.
	Like, he looks so... He looks like he drives a Cadillac.
	He's, like, he's got the same blockhead as Joe Manchin.
	Yeah.
	I think I'm gonna take it beyond blockhead.
	He looks like he's almost, like, conehead.
	He's got a sharp point at the top of his dome.
	I think that might be hair.
	Whatever.
	He has a good waft of hair.
	He did it to him.
	So he says, uh, on Facebook, Immigration is a hot topic.
	Uh, no.
	I don't believe I bought a Slayer shirt at Immigration any time recently.
	You never heard of that sick death metal band, Immigration?
	They're tight.
	What is that, like a fucking Norwegian black metal band?
	Yeah, I was gonna say, they're actually a white power death metal band.
	National socialist black metal.
	Immigration.
	Immigration is a hot topic, and it should be.
	We're a land of immigrants.
	But in this country, we have a system that isn't working?
	Okay.
	We have policies that need changing.
	Many in the media want to portray this as President Donald J. Trump's fault, but it predates him by decades.
	He inherited the policies we have and the problems that come along with them.
	It is terrible to see families torn apart.
	It's disgraceful.
	It's even more disgraceful to see that our political leaders won't work together in a bipartisan effort to solve this.
	So like, you know what's bad is like ripping children from the arms of their parents, but what's worse is partisanship.
	Yeah.
	We just need to reach across the aisle, not toward any crying children or anything, but reach for your fellow senator.
	Give them a pat on the back.
	You know what we need is some immigration.
	We need some immigration from me to you.
	We need some immigration across the aisles.
	We need to immigrate our theologies.
	So you're saying that Democrats should self-deport across the aisle and work together?
	Now you're talking about shit that's worse than immigration?
	Making fun of Donald J. Trump.
	Or talking about his policies.
	It's disgraceful.
	Especially as an evangelical.
	My character that has a million aspects to it.
	My podcast character.
	As an evangelical, I'm offended anytime anybody makes fun of Donald J. Trump.
	It really pisses me off a lot.
	He's just trying to do God's work up there.
	And I love God and Jesus and kids and Christ and so, you know, don't talk shit on Donald Trump.
	Hey baby, I mean, you know, I'm all about some, uh, you know, love the sinner, hate the sin type shit, you know?
	I'm on some, uh, you know, they keep me in business.
	Without sinners, I'm broke.
	You know what I'm saying?
	And business is good, baby, you know?
	Some just want to use the situation for their own political gain.
	Like Donald Trump literally using intentionally orphaned children to try and get his fucking border wall built.
	Because that's what's going on, we'll get to that in a second.
	We can't just be a land of open borders as the progressives are demanding.
	Yeah, I can't do it.
	I just want to say, like, yeah, those progressives and their crazy open borders policy, they're only giving, like, 1.25 billion dollars to Trump for his wall.
	Yeah.
	What kind of insanity is that?
	Needs at least 20 Bill.
	God, dude.
	You know what I think could fix this mess is a good app.
	Absolutely.
	You know what I think could fix this mess is like a good app.
	Absolutely.
	A good app that connects a Republican senator to a Democratic senator.
	And like you can only swipe right.
	What would you call it?
	There's only one option.
	Oh my god.
	I would call it swipe center.
	And you can't, like, skip ads.
	So this had 58,000 reacts.
	They go in the order of like, love, and cry.
	I cry every time I read Franklin Graham who's crying on behalf of the political divide.
	It's very sad.
	It's cool when, like, a guy will, like, Allow you to be sad about kids being detained and still support Donald Trump and like all the racist kind of shit that comes out of that regime.
	It's crazy how unnamed people do disgraceful things.
	We should judge the disgraceful, right?
	Hate the disgraceful act, love the disgraceful.
	Love the disgraceful.
	Why not, right?
	Mary Ackley comments, this is a good one.
	Yep.
	It's a big one.
	So this is under the Franklin Graham post.
	The extremely viral Franklin Graham.
	Mary Ackley says, the quote, bleeding hearts on this site are disgusting!
	I love it when people refer to Facebook as a site, like as a website.
	Look at this site.
	I got a lot of sites.
	Or like maybe they're just referring to like his specific page on Facebook.
	Like you never know.
	But I just I love the ambiguity.
	I love like just a website.
	It's like, you know, it's like MSN or AOL.com.
	They say Facebook.com.
	I saw you on the Facebook.com.
	That little bit there that you acknowledged, like, I appreciate that a lot.
	Thank you.
	I trust, like, I love that.
	According to them, they just want to put huge, quote, welcome signs on our borders.
	Yeah, just come on in and tap into all of our resources.
	We'll gladly work until we, quote, drop dead to support you.
	Well, I, quote, don't feel that way.
	I'm sick and tired of supporting illegal aliens that, quote, have not contributed anything to our country.
	I want to be able to, quote, retire comfortably and to live out the rest of my natural life living the good life.
	But the way things are looking, the programs such as SSI and Medicare, parentheses and others, are not going to be there because they are on the verge of going, quote, belly up because we are supporting the illegal aliens that, quote, are not putting anything back into the system.
	So if you, quote, bleeding hearts want to keep supporting them from your money, then be my guest.
	As for myself, I'm tired of it.
	We can't even take care of our own people for Pete's sake Okay, so like I don't know give Mary more social security and she'll shut the fuck up Like, which we should be doing anyway, obviously, but just, like, do that and you won't have any more of her, I think.
	Dude, I'm not going to lie to you.
	I kind of blacked out for a minute.
	I kind of blacked out.
	Wait, did you black out or did you kind of, quote, blacked out?
	I kind of, quote, blacked out.
	Well, I was going to say, like, I got into an argument with someone on Instagram, on one of my, like, supervisor's Instagrams.
	I don't know.
	Whatever.
	Long story short.
	Guy gave me a wall of fucking text like that.
	What the fuck are you supposed to say to that?
	You're so tired by the end of reading it.
	Like I said to this guy, I was like, dude, I'm just glad I made you pissed and LOL at you.
	Like, that's all I could say at that point.
	You're like, line break, give me a break.
	You know?
	Literally though, like that's how I felt.
	Melody Zachary says on this same post, Yo, she got two first names, dawg!
	Dude, it's Malode.
	Maybe.
	I don't think it's Malode.
	It's Melody with one E at the end.
	Bad way.
	Any parent that takes their child into a country illegally deserves to have their children taken away.
	So they earned it.
	They deserved it.
	That's like a bank robber taking his family with him.
	It's just like that, guys.
	To rob the bank?
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's tight.
	Like, the bank gets to keep your children if you try to rob it.
	I'd watch the movie where, like, Jennifer Aniston robs a bank with, like, her husband and, like, the kids get taken away from her.
	I'd watch that movie.
	Yeah, it's called, like, Bad Burglar.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you ever rob a- Mommy Heist.
	Have you ever robbed the United States of, like, air and space?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, I wouldn't say robbed.
	I would say I earned it by virtue of things that I did on my own, like being white and born here.
	I love this idea, like, this is a common idea.
	This is a common response to the idea of children being jailed.
	Oh, well their parents did it.
	Their parents did it to them by breaking the law.
	Had to do it to them.
	Like?
	Deportation in general as a punishment for breaking the law is like a pretty fascistic idea.
	It's a pretty fascist idea.
	Yes.
	You know like I got into a discussion with somebody who probably had good intentions and was trying to feel their way through what's going on and was saying that was trying to argue or was trying to paint The actions of ICE as, uh, necessary because they're deporting people who were guilty of DUIs.
	And my response to that is, is if we deported everybody who was guilty of a DUI, this country would be a fucking ghost town.
	Yeah.
	Be nobody here.
	So, also, the idea, like, this, like, concern trolling.
	This is concern trolling.
	I'm pretending to care about the children whose parents wronged them, therefore they need to be taken away.
	It's like saying, You stole... They stole loaves of bread.
	We're not gonna... When we cut off their hands, we're not gonna cut off their children's hands, too.
	You should, though.
	Like, what are you... Like, God, have some humanity for the children.
	Like, we're not gonna jail them with the parents who deserve to be jailed for coming to the... You know what I mean?
	Like, it's... It's this insanely, uh... What's the word?
	Um... Not anachronistic, but just, like... Dark age punishment for people.
	Yeah, it's real based.
	It's really... Extremely medieval.
	Like, look, uh... But what's cool is, like, we're doing worse than that.
	We're separating the kids from their parents, so they have that side of torment.
	So the parents have that torment and the kids have that torment.
	It's a cool bad punishment.
	We all know that tormented children, they harvest bigger crops.
	So this is an investment.
	They're building character for the next generation.
	It's the new Deftones beer I got here, dude.
	That's tight, dude.
	Yeah, final comment from this Franklin Graham post, which I don't seem to have here.
	Okay, so let's move on to a Fox News article that was very interesting.
	I saw this in my feed.
	Fox News posted an image macro, like Fox News loves to do now.
	They really like doing this now.
	They're modern.
	I can't remember who it was.
	Some conservative shithead trying to blame Democrats for separating children.
	And they had a link.
	They had a little link, like the picture wasn't the thumbnail.
	The picture was just a picture.
	And in the post, there was a little link to the actual article that this picture was supposedly referencing.
	If you click on that article...
	The article was about Jeff Sessions using the Bible to cite separating children from their families.
	They did not do a full article about this on Facebook.
	They misconstrued it in this way, which is very interesting.
	Because if you read the actual article, which I'll do right here, it says something very different.
	In an unusually tense series of exchanges in the White House briefing room, Sanders, so our girl, our gorgeous Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
	His crush, Tony's crush.
	This is like the first, I know she's been brutal before, but this is the first time I couldn't even joke about it.
	I couldn't even joke about being into her.
	I wanted to make it kind of real raunchy, but I couldn't even do it.
	You're in an S&M relationship with her.
	What if Sarah Sanders just has that same cute aggression and she just wants to crush brown kids because she thinks they're so cute?
	Oh, yep.
	That's what it is.
	What if that's what it is?
	That might be what it is.
	Then I could forgive that.
	Damn cute!
	The same cute aggression I have for your cats.
	Exactly.
	I'm gonna put them under a pneumatic press.
	But only at the end of their lives.
	Yeah.
	That's what we agreed to.
	Which is the way I would want to go by just somebody like crushing me because I'm so cute like rather than dying of cancer or like other you know natural Imagine how cute your eyes will look when they're bulging out of your head all big.
	So, in an unusually series of tense exchanges in the White House briefing room, Sanders wrongly blamed Democrats for the policy separating children from parents and insisted the administration had made no changes in increasing the use.
	Until the policy was announced in April, such families were usually referred for civil deportation proceedings not requiring separation.
	This is exactly what I was talking about before.
	This is the crux of what's going on.
	It's the distinction between civil proceedings and criminal proceedings.
	The administration decided to pursue criminal charges against every single undocumented immigrant, and that's what this policy is stemming from.
	So it's very interesting that Fox News says this wording, Sanders wrongly blamed Democrats.
	That's wild for Fox News.
	Yeah.
	I mean, they've been changing lately.
	Like, I've noticed a lot of different headlines from them.
	Oh, they're finally maturing.
	No, they're terrible.
	But, like, I've noticed different shit coming out of them lately.
	Like, a lot of, like, acknowledgement of facts, which is bizarre.
	Can you cite a specific...
	No.
	I need the facts about these facts, bro.
	I'm probably making this up, so... I mean, if you're talking about Shep Smith, Shep Smith's always been like one of the best, and that doesn't mean much, but one of the best Fox News personalities, and yeah, he came out pretty hard against this, I believe, against other actions by this administration.
	Most likely from him, but whatever.
	Yeah, um, no comments on this post for some reason.
	The comments section did not exist for this post.
	I kept on scrolling, I kept on looking for it.
	Nope, not there.
	But I got a comment from a different Fox News post about this subject on the Fox News website.
	Little Early says, "Calling an illegal alien and undocumented worker is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist." And I don't see any problem with that.
	Absolutely not.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah, it's actually appropriate.
	Yeah, they're both good.
	Yeah.
	They're both good things.
	Also, I have insurance, but I still can't, like, afford, like, medication necessarily.
	So, you know, I call a homie, you know, I say, you know, uh, let me get a, let me get a discount on that, the medication.
	Like a pharmacist literally deals out drugs.
	And they give me a Sativa Heavy Hybrid.
	Got that packed for you.
	So here's something from NPR that was really interesting.
	Setting up what the Trump administration is, why the Trump administration is doing what they're doing.
	This was an interview with John Kelly, the Chief of Staff in the White House.
	You know, we all know this guy.
	This is the guy who understands rules and decorum and brought order to the White House.
	Surely he will save us from this orange tyrant.
	It's a time for a gentleman.
	Also an officer.
	They're in the same package.
	They don't speak English, obviously.
	That's a big thing.
	John Kelly said of undocumented immigrants.
	They don't speak English.
	They don't integrate well.
	They don't have skills.
	Is he talking about immigrants here or Democrats?
	Am I right?
	Uh.
	They don't have skills.
	No?
	Imagine just saying that about a per- like... Imagine your brain being so warped that you're just like, uh, they can't code.
	They don't have any skills.
	Imagine saying that about an entire, like, race of people.
	Like, what the fuck?
	No, guys, it's not really funny, but a lot of the immigrants who've been coming across, they don't have any hands or eyeballs.
	Oh.
	So they're pretty... So they're not gamers.
	They're pretty... Are you telling me there's some shit going on in Mexico that I ain't know of?
	They're not carpenters, I'll tell you that much.
	Is the Mexican government removing their eyeballs?
	You gotta really declare war on Mexico.
	They're not bad people.
	They're just like stupid and dirty and unskilled.
	They're not bad people.
	They're coming here for a reason.
	And I sympathize with the reason.
	But the laws are the laws.
	But a big name of the game is deterrence.
	So that's a key word here.
	Deterrence.
	NPR asks or says family separation stands as a pretty tough deterrent.
	And John Kelly says it could be a tough deterrent.
	Would be a tough deterrent.
	A much faster turnaround on asylum seekers.
	You know what the word deterrent reminds me of?
	Detergent?
	Deterra.
	The drug.
	that like grows wildly in the IE and smells like peanut butter and you take it, it's called root or Jimson root.
	Oh, okay, yeah.
	It makes you like freak out, right?
	Like die almost.
	And I did that when I was like 15.
	Dude, I need to see your unlicensed pharmacist.
	Yeah, so...
	It's called the side of the freeway.
	So they can tell you to not do detoura.
	Don't do it.
	Yeah, so this is John Kelly back in like May openly admitting to speculating about the idea of separating families as a deterrent to immigration.
	Yeah, you know what will stop them from fleeing what they're fleeing?
	Is going to something worse.
	Which is exactly that.
	Like, a lot of families can handle a lot of shit when they're together.
	But when you separate them is when things get hard.
	And I was- I- I interacted with a couple people in- in Deplorables groups and the Diamond and Silk fan page group.
	Who were just awful.
	Just the most awful fucking cruel people.
	Um... But, you know, I- I tried to...
	I tried to influence them.
	I tried to say, well, you know, like these people haven't committed a crime, like they're asylum seekers, you know, even in your, I didn't say this, but even in your skewed view of the world where just crossing a border makes you an illegal person, even in that skewed view, these people are seeking asylum.
	And we have a process for that in this country.
	We're supposed to consider their request for asylum.
	Now Jeff Sessions just blank flat out said fleeing gang violence or fleeing domestic violence is not applicable to asylum seekers.
	He just came out and said that.
	He had a whole fucking thing about it.
	It was a disgusting fucking speech he had about it.
	So I tried to gently correct a couple people who were saying, well, if you break the law, that's what happens.
	And I said, well, you know, a lot of these people, they didn't break a law, like they're seeking asylum.
	And the response I got was, well, they should know better anyway.
	They should know what's going to happen to them.
	And I said, so they should know what a cruel country they're trying to enter, basically, is what you're saying.
	And this is somebody who had the word Christian in their bio.
	Yep.
	Well, dude, you should know better than to try to convince people on the internet, because they will never, ever agree with you.
	Oh, and then I got a message from somebody in the Diamond and Silk.
	An actual, like, DM?
	Yeah, a Facebook message, a Facebook request.
	This is Rhonda Brothers, who said to me, Alexander, Bussiness Insider and Snopes are articles on Obama and And that was the end of the message.
	And I said, oh, okay.
	And then they didn't respond.
	They didn't ever finish their comment or finish their message or anything.
	Dude, you interacted with an actual boomer.
	And I lived to tell the tale.
	And that's what you got with that message.
	So don't do it, folks.
	You will reap the same reward as me.
	Obama end.
	That's all.
	So this is a calculated move by the Trump administration.
	A, to deter future asylum seekers, and B, to, uh...
	Oh my god.
	We're fine.
	Support concessions from Democrats.
	That's what this is.
	Oh, my God.
	So there was a...
	Trump did a little presser.
	Let me see what time we're at.
	We're fine.
	We're at about...
	Okay, we're a little...
	Almost an hour.
	Yeah, we're good.
	Trump did a little presser that was pretty wild.
	I mean, depends on your view.
	Well, the reporters were just acting really unruly and it's an amazing sight.
	I'm going to play some audio from it right here.
	Do you agree with children being taken away from their homes?
	No, I hate it.
	I hate the children being taken away.
	The Democrats have to change their law.
	That's their law.
	That's the Democrats' law.
	We can change it tonight.
	We can change it right now.
	You change it!
	You need their votes.
	You need their votes.
	- You guys have to do both of them in Congress. - All they have to do-- - You control both chambers of Congress. - No, the Democrats, excuse me, by one vote, We don't need it.
	No.
	You need 60 votes.
	We have a one vote.
	Not to pass tax reform.
	No, pass tax reform.
	We have a one vote and we need 60.
	So we need 10 votes.
	We can't get them from the Democrats.
	Can we do one question at a time?
	Wait, one question at a time.
	can't do it through an executive order.
	But you're, you are the user, sir.
	Can we do one question?
	Wait, one question.
	The children, the children can be taken care of quickly, beautifully, His brain is dead.
	His brain is dying.
	I wanna just take the clip where he says, uh... My name is Donald Trump and my brain is dying?
	No, I hate it.
	I hate the children.
	Good little clip.
	This is from ABC News.
	This is a video posted to Facebook.
	And in this comment section, we have David Burnham saying, Why do they talk to the president like that?
	Unethical.
	They're very rude to the president.
	And I know a thing or two about ethics.
	Having cheered the internment of children.
	Oh.
	Brenda Stokes says, President Trump is absolutely right.
	It's a Democrat law.
	An illegal one that should never have been done.
	So awesome.
	Like, I love that, like, the lean into it.
	Like, yeah, he's right.
	The Democrat law?
	Yeah.
	Um, fuck them.
	I love the idea that it's an illegal law that we have to follow because it's the law.
	The law was illegally passed.
	Don't you understand?
	Everybody knows that Obama passed that law so that he could be the last immigrant president.
	There's no more immigrants, they can't come anymore.
	Pulling up the ladder behind him.
	Take all the children, you know, taking out the firstborn.
	Any law that Obama passed was criminal.
	Yeah, because a criminal did it.
	Yeah, he's black.
	Yeah, he's a criminal and he did those laws.
	Typical.
	I like that Brenda is calling this law an illegal law and not cowing to the PCSJW term of undocumented law.
	Yeah.
	I like that.
	That's good.
	She forgot.
	She didn't get the memo, dude.
	This is a law alien.
	El Ramona Young Randolph says, Wow, so many get upset using immigration as the reason when children are separated from their parent.
	Parentheses, maybe their parent, maybe not.
	And we have children being separated every day from a parent via divorce.
	Society stays calm.
	Real quick.
	Avatar?
	Description?
	How old? 97?
	Nah, she looks like a snow fox.
	She looks like probably 65 or something.
	But they're right though.
	Divorce should be illegal.
	I love this.
	Make divorce illegal.
	Divorce your wife.
	No one blinks an eye.
	Rip a few children from the arms of immigrants.
	Everybody goes crazy!
	America stays calm when people get divorced.
	Whoa, dude.
	Did Heidi ever tell you how I got these children?
	I freaked it.
	It's kind of true, though.
	I mean, there is a thing where kids are being torn away from their parents every day because, like, a lot of parents are in prison.
	That's a whole different issue.
	And we actually don't talk about that.
	Maybe we should a little bit more.
	But that's not what they're talking about here at all.
	So many people were like, oh, suddenly you care about people being in prison?
	I don't hear anybody complaining about the other people in prison.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, you're right.
	We should start doing that, maybe.
	Yep.
	Did you forget about the black people that are in prison?
	One in four black men are in prison.
	Just kidding.
	Just becoming a prison abolitionist to own the libs on immigration.
	Please do it.
	That would be so great, yeah.
	Do it.
	Do it.
	Please do it.
	So, yeah.
	Under... There was another one.
	One second.
	Where the fuck is it?
	It's so good.
	Yeah, okay, here it is right here.
	Lynn Westbrook says, same idea here but even a bigger brain, I think, on Lynn.
	Lynn Westbrook says, children are separated from their families every day when their parents serve in our military.
	What about those troop kids?
	Save the troop kids.
	Stop breaking our laws and your children won't be separated.
	I also agree with this.
	Make the military legal.
	You can't be a parent in the military.
	For the children.
	Not allowed.
	Support troop kids.
	Listen, if you're going to be in the military, you have to have nothing to lose.
	Right.
	So no more parents in the military.
	Yeah, you can't have kids if you want to join the military.
	You cry about undocumented immigrants being separated from their children, but I don't see you crying about American children overseas who get separated from their parents via a drone strike.
	Something that actually happened.
	Are those troop kids?
	Uh, yeah, they're ISIS troop kids.
	Hashtag... RespectAllTroopKids.
	Support... Hashtags RespectAllTroopKids.
	Hashtag SupportTheTroopKids.
	You care about separating children from their families because they came here illegally.
	What about all the children who are separated from their families when they go to public school?
	Homeschool!
	Get back at me when you're homeschooling your children.
	You're making me have flashbacks right now, dude.
	Kindergarten?
	Fuck, dude.
	Separation anxiety?
	I cried, dude!
	I fucking freaked out.
	Like, my mom left, and I was like, where the fuck's my mom?
	All I have is this Lion King outfit I'm wearing, and like, what am I gonna do?
	Well, and then you looked at the classroom and realized that someday all that would be yours and came to terms with it.
	Which is why I'm proposing a military outreach program where we reach out to homeschooled incels.
	I mean, we probably should be reaching out to those people.
	They would be the most elite.
	I said this on the goddamn show.
	I said, we should try to talk to them.
	Well, no.
	The cool thing is, if we get them to observe, get them in the uniforms, they're gonna get possessed!
	Perfect!
	Boom!
	That's such a good, like... Can't resist a man in uniform!
	And they're not allowed to.
	Right.
	I think the problem is we're just not making our homeschooled children wear uniforms in general.
	Yep.
	And getting them jacked.
	Gotta put them in, like, brown uniforms.
	Like, look at Catholic schoolgirls.
	Put a homeschooled boy in some sexy clothing and then maybe they'll get laid.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Two more comments.
	So this is on this is on Donald J. Trump's Facebook post.
	Nice.
	Oh, we live in a society where Donald J. Trump has a Facebook page that he uses to talk to people.
	So this is on his post about how it's the Democrats doing this thing.
	I didn't I didn't do it.
	It's the Democrats.
	Right.
	I love it.
	It was the dimmers that did it, which we kind of glossed over.
	Yeah, we did.
	But yeah, dimmer was one I hadn't heard before.
	What?
	I don't understand.
	I like dimmer.
	You guys are assaulting me for my beliefs.
	Also, you're fucking stupid.
	Also, you're a dumb dimmer who supports rape and murder.
	Oh, like dim?
	You're dim-witted?
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	Took me a sec.
	Well, I wonder why.
	Like usual.
	Oh, dude.
	Wait.
	Dang it, dude!
	Probably your voter registration card.
	Dang it, dude, why'd you make a joke like that to me?
	Why'd you make him do it to himself?
	It took me so long.
	Beverly Sapien, in this comment section, says, Dear Donald Trump, by the way, every word is fucking capitalized.
	This is one long article title.
	Had to do it to it.
	Also called headline.
	Dear Donald Trump, my daughter-in-law was illegal until we pushed her back over the wall and made her come in legally.
	It was the right thing to do.
	FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN!
	FOR YOURSELF!
	FOR YOUR FAMILY!
	FOR YOUR GRANDCHILDREN!
	I TAKE THIS TO THE BETTER END!
	GO!
	PUSH EM OVER THE WALL!
	PUSH EM OVER THE WALL!
	WATCH EM BACK TILL THEY FALL!
	Yeah, this is a terror song.
	Gotta push them over the wall!
	It's terror or throwdown.
	This take is... Are you done with this take?
	No, you're not.
	No, I'm not done with this comment, no.
	For my grandchildren.
	We deported my daughter-in-law for my grandchildren.
	I don't think the grandchildren even exist yet.
	I think it's for future grandchildren.
	They're in utero.
	They are children.
	They're one month conceived.
	Now she doesn't have to be misused, which is like mis-used, in the workplace and never has to worry.
	Thanks for the push!
	What the fuck?
	Dude, this is dark.
	This is a real person.
	This is a real comment.
	A couple people in the replies suggested that she was a bot, but no, she was conversing with people about how it only took four days for her daughter-in-law to get citizenship.
	It's total horseshit, dude.
	Total lies.
	I mean, yeah, I have no idea what Beverly's talking about.
	I think maybe, like, don't you automatically get citizenship if you're fucking married?
	No, there are some, that's what's funny is there are some processes when you get married you actually have to go home for a little while.
	Yeah.
	You have to go back to your country of origin for a while.
	It's like a year process.
	And then you have to come back.
	But sometimes, no sometimes it's just like you have to spend like a week.
	Oh really?
	Yeah.
	So that's probably what happened.
	Yeah.
	That's probably what happened.
	We gave her the push like with the first class ticket.
	Back to the land.
	I'm picturing the scene in A Serious Man where the main character is packing up his brother-in-law's bags into a canoe on the lake at the border of Canada and just pushing the canoe and his brother-in-law out into the water and his brother-in-law's like, Bye!
	Bye!
	And that's what happened.
	That's what had to happen.
	I'll be back in five days because of that ticket you bought me and my passport.
	It was for the grandchildren.
	They bought him a cruise down to Cabo and got him some of that Spanish fly.
	Had to do it to him.
	Some ceviche.
	Modelo.
	Sorry.
	You go into, what is it?
	What's the word?
	International waters, and you can get your citizenship anywhere.
	It's legal out there.
	If you know what I mean.
	Yeah.
	You just have to know about it.
	Yeah, so, uh, wild post from Beverly Sapien.
	Wild comment.
	It's my favorite comment.
	It's just, like, so fucked.
	Like, I love your guys' soft take on it.
	It's really nice and sweet.
	But, like, I imagine her like, fuck you, lady.
	You're an illegal, and I'm gonna push you over the wall.
	Fuck you, Beverly.
	Listen, Matt.
	Listen, Matt.
	Matt, listen.
	Okay.
	So, um, uh, you're gonna be upset.
	Okay.
	But I called Ice on your fiancé.
	Listen.
	Okay, I'm listening.
	I just want your kids to have character, okay?
	Listen, don't get mad.
	You're gonna be there at Christmas.
	She's gonna be back, but she's- I- I called Ice.
	She has to go home.
	Are you sure?
	And if she can hike her way back, that means she really loves you.
	If you love her, let her go.
	The thing is, we want our grandchildren, my and Tony's grandchildren, your children Matt, to have some cultural roots.
	To be able to experience their Mexican culture.
	So we have to make mom go back for a while.
	Get some more culture, and then she can enrich all of our lives.
	I think is the idea.
	Maybe she can take some American goods back home, too.
	Fruits and vegetables, perhaps.
	Listen, she can come home when she figures out the proper avocado to sour cream ratio.
	I like in my guac.
	Then she can come home.
	Tell her to get her roots together and then she can come home.
	She needs to go back to Mexico and steal a tortilla recipe from some grandmothers and then bring it back and start a tortilla app.
	That's how she gets citizenship.
	Or like a sweet gringo burrito factory.
	Come here, gringo.
	Oh yeah, because gringos are Mexicans.
	I think that's a reference to that awful sound.
	Yeah, it is.
	Gringo is not a word that Hispanic people use for white people.
	Only white people use it for white people.
	Goodbye.
	That's not what happened in that episode.
	It was a white girl calling Enrique Iglesias her beautiful gringo.
	Not understanding what the word gringo meant at all, I think possibly because she had been called it many times at work and thought it was a term of affection.
	Yes.
	Alright, last comment here.
	Anna Marie Hefner.
	Oh, you know, you know.
	Mm-hmm.
	You know, she's, yeah.
	That's a good one.
	Has an interesting avatar.
	The avatar is a flaming letter Q. Okay.
	The Fiery Q. Anna says, isn't anyone concerned that some of these kids are being trafficked by mules posing as parents?
	They are separating about half.
	question marks.
	They are separating about half.
	Not all.
	Some have birth documents proving paternity.
	CBP experts, that's Customs and Border Patrol experts, have training on how to spot trafficked kids.
	They interview both kids and adults.
	So this is like somebody who subscribes to like the QAnon feed.
	Very concerned with children.
	If you're not familiar with QAnon, Trump is protecting children and that's all happening behind the scenes and that's why you don't see it.
	He needs a weird 4chan person to deliver that news.
	Pizzagate.
	But this person clearly cares about children.
	They interview both kids and adults.
	If things look suspicious, they separate them.
	I am sure they probably use DNA tests to verify after that.
	If they match, they get the kids back.
	My opinion.
	Oh, my God.
	Holy shit.
	So literally just like creating a worldview that coheres to their value.
	This is probably what's happening and that's why I'm not mad.
	Hashtag my opinion.
	It's because how do we know these kids are yours?
	This is for the better of the kids.
	All the kids that are being separated are probably just victims of trafficking.
	So we're doing a good thing.
	You can tell if they have a furrowed brow or are carrying some weird 1999 franchise cartoon backpack, they are definitely a victim.
	Yeah, they look at the kid's backpack and they're like... They're with their dad.
	You know, they're quote, dad.
	And they have like a Spongebob backpack.
	And you look at that girl and you're like...
	She's not even a Spongebob fan!
	This was clearly, like, somebody who didn't know her and her personality gifted her this backpack.
	And, I mean, either they're a trafficker or, like, an absentee father.
	Either way, we need to get him out of that situation.
	It's like, you know, your dad getting you a baseball glove when clearly you want to play hockey.
	Obviously.
	Separate him!
	Keep a baseball glove in your car if you want to have a baseball bat in your car.
	Just saying.
	But, yeah, they should have had a Rick and Morty backpack.
	Because this was a highly intelligent little girl.
	Who would clearly appreciate the intellectual nuance found in that television program.
	It's an extremely contemporary art show.
	Don't let them pull one over on you though.
	Sometimes they'll stack two children on top of each other in a trench coat and make them act as one adult.
	They'll try to pass that one off on you.
	Don't let them sneak up on you.
	They have to separate those children from the trench coat.
	Clearly something's not right there.
	So anybody in Border Patrol, they have to whack every person in a trench coat on the side and make sure they're not two people?
	They have to check the inner lining of the trench coat to make sure they're not carrying Folex watches.
	Yeah, okay, that's the end of the episode.
	Like I said at the beginning, DSA meeting for the Inland Empire this Wednesday.
	We are hopefully going to be having a speaker here who knows much more about this topic than we do and has much better ideas about how you can help.
	So, that is this Wednesday at 7.30 at the Riverside Life Arts Center.
	Inland Empire DSA.
	Sorry, they might not be as funny as us.
	Yeah, no, they're deathly serious.
	We're funny, though.
	Yeah.
	As evidenced by that comment.
	Yeah, dude.
	Yeah.
	So subscribe to the Patreon.
	Once again, the proceeds... Do proceeds... Does proceeds count in cost?
	Because I want to go bigger than that.
	There's no like... We're not doing like... We're not doing business accounting with this shit.
	It's real simple.
	Every penny that you guys pledge this month is going directly to that.
	Exactly.
	There's no filter.
	No tax.
	We're gonna just sign it right on over to this organization.
	You pay Patreon and that dumps into a bank account that we have for Patreon and would take all that money and put it right there.
	Yeah, so patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult where you get an extra episode every single week.
	Previous episode was all about the weirdly nuanced situation around North Korea and how most every side has it wrong.
	Oh, we didn't talk about I was just gonna say, like, every episode we do, whether it's Patreon or not, it's the same amount of effort and, like, shit we do.
	Like, we don't have, it's not like a, like a 40-minute, like, bonus clip episode.
	It's an actual bonus episode.
	Yeah, it's a full-length episode.
	Full, like, real thing.
	One thing that was pretty funny, you know, we didn't talk about the libs that much this episode.
	Can I say fuck them real quick?
	Oh yeah.
	Fuck libs.
	Very interesting take that Jon Favreau, not of Marvel, but instead of the Obama administration and Pod Save America and Crooked Media, Which is the parent company that owns Pod Save America and all those other podcasts that they have, which I kind of realized today is a reference to Crooked Hillary.
	I mean, I had realized that previously, that it was a reference to Crooked Hillary, but I made the connection today that that is the Libs owning their insulting nickname of Crooked.
	Much the same way deplorables are owning their insulting nickname given to them by Hillary.
	So that's the type of, I don't know, persuasive argument that's going on there.
	Anyway, Jon Favreau tweeted out a picture of immigrant children being held in literal cages.
	You've probably seen this video.
	Children sleeping on the ground on mats in a prison cell.
	He said, something has to be done about this atrocity.
	We have to stop doing this.
	What kind of a monster would do this?
	Not realizing that the photo dated back to 2014 when his administration was in charge.
	Oh!
	Had to do it to him.
	His actual boy.
	His real homie.
	True homie.
	Very interesting tweet.
	Gang shit.
	Very hilarious.
	Made me laugh out loud when you sent that to me, Tony.
	Yep.
	Guys, watch your fake news.
	It's out there.
	Yeah, don't listen to Pod Save America.
	I didn't say that.
	I'm saying that.
	What was the rate at which that tweet was deleted?
	Would you say it was quickly?
	It was pretty quick.
	Yeah.
	It's a negative rate.
	But it was obviously screen capped and it was there.
	Yeah, okay.
	Anyway, so patreon.com slash MinionDeathCall.
	You get a private feed with all these bonus episodes and all the proceeds.
	This month, we'll be going to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center.
	Very important topic.
	Fuck yeah.
	Go to that DSA meeting, Riverside, 7.30 p.m.
	this Wednesday.
	Rate and review the show if you like the show.
	We'd love to get some more ratings.
	Oh, and let's shout out the newest Patreon subscriber.
	We should copy paste this up top of the show, bro.
	Okay, yeah, yeah.
	Or whatever.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Tell me to do that again later.
	I'll tell you never.
	Cool.
	Yeah, so also thanks to Alex for leaving a five-star review on the iTunes.
	Really appreciate that.
	Thank you so much.
	And also thank you to our newest Patreon subscriber.
	Block George.
	Just kidding.
	That's a joke for us only.
	Good stuff.
	Real good podcast.
	Thank you so much to Ryan for subscribing to the Patreon.
	We really appreciate your support.
	And this month it's going somewhere special.
	Hell yeah, bro.
	So thank you to everybody for listening.
	Bye.
	Love you.

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