All Episodes
June 11, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
01:27:11
49 - Dead Inside? You Decide

This week the cult has a show about a take about a take about a take, starting with Rudy Giuliani's heinous comments about sex workers and expanding outward to first cover MSNBC, and then the right wing in general. Also: Bill Maher has an amazing take on how the left is going to win this thing: tank the economy! Put people out of work to own Trump. Subscribe to Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a bonus episode every week and to be entered into a drawing to win a free MDC T-shirt.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
I want to get a longer clip.
Because there's something that happens right before that.
I do want to see what that guy has to say.
Oh, leaning man?
I hope there's not an ad before this video.
Okay, good.
- It is an out.
- Good morning, guys.
Good afternoon, I should say.
- Fuck. - Bill Maher.
He hopes for crashing economy to get rid of Trump.
Bring on the recession. - Says king of the skinheads.
- Oh, thank you, Bill.
- Why is his rug on the wall?
- Thank you so much.
What a kind individual you are.
Yes, this is a Democrat, someone far left, who is so angry that he didn't get his way.
He didn't get his little Hillary.
So since he didn't get his little Hillary, well then, I just hope everything goes so bad because I want to get rid of Trump.
I don't like him.
I just don't like him.
Is he doing a baby voice?
You know something Bill?
Oh he is!
People in hell want ice water.
Sorry if that hurts people, but it's either root for a recession or you lose your democracy.
Number one, it's a republic that we're supposed to have.
Number two, we're trying to get freedom of speech back.
That's what we're trying for.
It's true though.
It's a republic in my Trump 2020 shirt.
Didn't you know?
Oh, yes!
God, yes.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're gonna take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the storm gets us.
Follow their environmental steps.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
I'm Martin Matt.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending this week.
Feminists or anti-feminists are causing it.
I can't tell which.
They're both just bad.
They're both in this, like, Schrodinger state of being both good and bad, as we'll find out in this episode.
And we are documenting it.
And it's crazy because, you know, if you document an experiment, you taint the results.
So what are we doing here?
But we're going to try to parse through it.
We have a wonderful guest with us today.
Annie, how are you doing?
I'm livid moss.
Great.
Hell yeah.
You're part of the Bell Luminati, aren't you?
She's already inducted.
Good thing you're a cult follower.
Yeah, because we are on this show, we are trying to take down the fourth estate, which is the news media.
We're trying to lift up the fourth meal.
Taco Bell.
We have a wonderful, hateful show for you folks today.
We're talking about two stories that are pretty funny, but once you dig a little bit, they're pretty awful.
The first one, we are talking about Rudy Giuliani's comments about Stormy Daniels and how she is incapable of telling the truth because she is a sex worker.
No, porn actress is different.
Is it?
It's an actress, so actresses are prone to lying.
Right, but I'm talking about the title.
Anyway, yeah, and so that segued into Nicole Wallace on MSNBC saying some mean things about Ivanka and Melania for supporting Donald Trump, in contrast, and then that segued into a bunch of outrage on the right that is probably going to permeate into this week.
That's the first story.
Second story is Bill Maher saying some real dumb shit.
Weird.
Sticking to his wheelhouse.
Yeah, strange.
Bad shit.
Once a year he's gotta ruin his entire thing.
I don't believe it.
That nigga ain't never said nothing bad in his entire life.
It's really out of character for him.
Yeah, I've never heard him say the word you just said, ever.
That might have been the entire joke.
Yeah, so don't worry folks, we're going to be dunking on the right and the left today.
The far left in Bill Maher.
The bastion of liberalism in America.
Well, that's true.
That's very true.
The complete centrist.
Okay, so first of all, let's get into this Rudy Giuliani, Stormy Daniels, Nicole Wallace thing.
Rudy Giuliani in Tel Aviv was talking about the Stormy Daniels case, which he loves doing.
He just can't stop talking about whatever legal cases he's involved in, which is a great thing to do if you want to win that case.
He said, quote, I respect all human beings.
I even have to respect criminals.
But I'm sorry, I don't respect a porn star the way I respect a career woman, which I'm not seeing discrepancy between those two titles.
Or a woman of substance.
This is a direct quote.
I pulled this from a news site.
I don't respect a porn star the same way I respect a career woman, or a woman of substance, or a woman who has great respect for herself as a woman.
What the fuck?
Sorry, I didn't proofread my own copy-paste job here.
You didn't proofread Giuliani's quote.
And as a person who has great respect for herself as a woman and a person and isn't going to sell her body for sexual exploitation, Giuliani said.
Well, you know, these comments are cool because at least you know he's completely detached from reality and that's cool.
So we can see him for what he is.
What do you mean by detached from reality, specifically?
The guy thinks, like, What did he say?
His level of archy is criminal, then porn star.
Oh no, career woman, criminal, porn star.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those are the three genders to him.
All I'm saying is I think most of the people in the room here, if not all of them, think that everybody should have a fair shot.
Even porn stars, you know?
So... And that's the mass people that exist today, so... I don't know.
Detached from reality.
Doesn't understand what he's fucking saying right now.
Yeah, I don't even think he thinks that women are human beings.
That sucks.
Thank you.
He says, I respect all human beings.
I even respect criminals.
But.
Yep.
There's a keyword.
Thank you.
Good, good, good.
I think it's interesting that he says right here, I don't respect, basically, I don't respect a person who's going to sell her body for sexual exploitation.
Fuck.
And, um, it's interesting that, like, what does he think is exploitative about the sex if she's getting paid for it?
Yeah.
Probably just the manner in which he jerks off to it.
He probably does it in some really weird way that makes it feel exploitive.
He's all, I know I didn't pay for this.
He got it off Kazaa.
He watches it through a mirror.
*laughter* No, but like, uh, um, never mind, I forgot what I was gonna say.
So then he went on to say, uh, "If you're a feminist and you support the porn industry, you should turn in your credentials." Hmm.
So I feel like his argument, like a charitable interpretation of this terrible argument, is that porn is bad to women, which is true in many respects.
However, he's in the same comment denigrating a woman who is supposedly the victim of this exploitation that he's citing.
Something tells me he doesn't really care about women.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know why you would think that.
What I really enjoy about this though is now the, I'm going to throw some big quotes around there, the feminists that are very anti-porn and under different reasons, they are now aligned with Giuliani and they have to live with that now.
I read a hot take that was like, porn is the only industry where women are actually paid more than men.
I love that.
Is that true?
I don't know if it's true.
I think it is.
I'm pretty sure it is.
My logic tells me that.
You're like, I know I'm worth less in the bedroom.
That is completely correct.
I don't know, I will say that as a feminist, I can definitely tell when I have sex with you that he's watched too much porn, so maybe Rudy Giuliani is onto something.
And it's also interesting that he's trying to, like...
Explain what feminism is as if he thinks it's a good thing right here If you're a feminist and you support the porn industry, which he thinks is bad You should turn in your credentials.
So he does think feminism is good For the purposes of this one argument.
Yeah I would say that like the way that the majority of the porn industry goes right now is pretty bad like as far as like what they impart upon the viewer the sort of fetishes that are oh just bad content yeah really bad con and like even like like the way that women are treated in a lot of I talk about this all the time, but that's why you told me.
Amateur porn is the kind that is... Self-produced porn.
Yeah, the kind where they vet their own pornos.
They check it for errors afterwards.
I'm okay with me doing this in a movie or whatever.
What if I can inject with a real quick yeah handle one of the bigger issues I see when it comes to pornography It's not so much the Industry, there's a lot of industry I would say a lot of industry now is a lot better than it ever has been and a lot of it is There's a lot more power given to the women involved, to the people involved, in front of and behind the camera.
There's people, there's women throughout the entire industry now, which is good.
Of course, there's a lot of companies that still suck.
And when it comes to that stuff, I mean, what you're viewing, a lot of times, pretty much anything you see on a video that you might think is demeaning or whatever, that's okay under consent.
Sure.
That's fine.
Do your damn thing.
Communicate and play hard, but where the real issue comes in is the consumers.
It's the people behind the computers.
That's what drives everything.
That's where the problem gets.
That's what drives everything.
That's where the problem gets.
Vote with your clicks in this case.
I'm sorry, you vote with your what?
Vote with your cum.
I said clicks.
You can rewind the tape and hear me say clicks, not dicks, goddammit.
But yeah, like, the porn, you know, porn's cool.
Yeah, I mean, it should exist.
It should definitely exist.
And you're totally, I agree.
Like, luckily, women have a goddamn say in this shit.
He goes on to say, Rudy, And weighing in on Daniel's lawsuit, Giuliani said, So Stormy, you want to bring a case?
Because remember, this is all about Stormy Daniels' case against Donald Trump.
One of them, I think she has a couple.
You want to bring a case?
Let me cross-examine you, because the business you are in entitles you to no degree of giving your credibility any weight.
So you're this victim of an exploitative industry, and therefore you don't deserve to have a say in a court of law.
Sounds like a bad cycle to me.
I watched this video recently and Rudy might want to watch this.
In the video, Stormi is actually a lawyer and you know what?
She gets her client off.
God damn it.
I'm going home now, see you guys later.
Maybe Trump should get Stormy on his legal team, or whatever.
Okay, so obviously this is like a crazy thing to say.
I wouldn't say crazy.
It's an evil thing to say.
It's a terrible thing to say that just because of somebody's profession, they're no longer allowed to have credibility, basically.
Like, as if having Sex means you're a liar.
Like, it's just all one pool of sin.
If you're fornicating, well then, by God, you're also, like, committing other acts of sin.
And I don't see him condemning, you know, the people that watch porn.
Watch Jormie Daniels.
Right!
It's like, I'm sure if we asked him he'd fucking talk for three hours about it.
But like, he's... We all know he's a fucking hypocrite.
He's a goddamn... And the whole party is.
The whole fucking party.
Abhorrently hypocritical.
Based on Trump.
If the same goes for the rest of the party, what goes for Trump, you know, some bad shit.
Pizzagate shit.
We gotta give him a little bit of credit, guys, because we forget all of his decorum, all of his tact.
He spent all of that after 9-11, guys.
He's out.
He's tapped out.
This is the 9-11 mayor.
The only reason he has dentures now is because of all that smiling he did in front of cameras after 9-11.
He earned those bad boys.
I really hope he shopped at those local Manhattan boutiques and spent his money inside the city, you know, to make sure it goes back into the economy.
He just wore his mayor's sash and got everything for free.
The true hero of 9-11.
Nicole Wallace, who has a show on MSNBC, far left, progressive, MSNBC, just...
Fucking tripping over themselves to hire conservative commentators like Nicole Wallace.
Who's the other dude?
Hugh Hewitt, a fucking pretty far-right radio host.
I don't know the shitty name.
Greta Van Susteren, the Scientologist Robot from Fox News.
Like...
We'll get into liberalism as this podcast goes on, but it's very funny how much MSNBC cares about, like you were saying Matt in the Slack chat, ideological diversity.
Everything from center-right to far-right.
Yeah, you gotta get the whole Mary Kandelio up in there.
Nicole Wallace, if you don't know, she's like the star of that HBO movie, Game Change, basically.
She's not the star, but she's an important character.
What is it here?
She was a senior advisor to the McCain-Palin campaign, who famously did not vote for her own candidate because she was just so put off by Sarah Palin.
Like, she's a total hero.
Total hero for not voting.
She voted with her gut, and thank God in the Constitution that she did that.
And yeah, she was a feature on Maddow a lot.
Like, Maddow always had her on back when I was watching Maddow.
For, like, dissent opinion or what?
No, I liked Maddow.
No, what did she have her on for?
For Republican analysis.
No, for political analysis, basically.
I hate Maddow.
Interesting.
It's pronounced Mad-oh.
Mad-oh.
You're thinking of Mad Cow.
Oh, I hate it.
I'm not down with Mad Cow.
But now she has her own show on MSNBC, Nicole Wallace does, and she had a response to this on a panel.
The Fox News headline for this article about Nicole Wallace's comments, MSNBC's Nicole Wallace slammed for asking if Melania Ivanka are quote dead inside or paid off.
So this is like a comment about, you know, they're trying to do the hypocrite thing.
Nicole Wallace is one of those, like, upstanding Republicans who would never vote for Trump.
She would just, like, support an administration that invaded Iraq on false pretenses and killed millions of people.
But she would never vote for Sarah Palin.
Like, real hero.
True hero.
Good one.
Good person.
She's literally the White House Communications Director during the George Bush presidency.
And also in his 2004 re-election campaign.
So yeah, didn't see anything wrong with those first four years.
But it was so much better when Bush was president, you know?
Like, the whole...
The whole administration is great.
I miss them.
Anything to elaborate on that?
I mean, we got Trump now, so I miss Bush and his whole admin.
That's my joke.
I just miss the punk compilations that were coming out.
Oh yeah, those were really good.
Not my president.
I miss when Fat Mike could just say fuck Bush instead of whatever else he said recently.
I don't know.
I don't hear what you're saying anymore.
Oh yeah, he said he was glad that it was country fans who died in Las Vegas.
Good God.
Oh, that fucking guy.
Yeah, that's the guy.
And then Stone Brewery stopped sending proceeds of the NoFX Punkin' Drublick beer to NoFX and they started donating all the profits to cops because, you know, What?
Cops were probably the victims of the Las Vegas shooting.
Are you fucking serious?
That really happened?
Yeah, that's really what happened.
Damn, I don't want to support Stone now.
That's kind of like a good- Holy shit.
That's kind of like a good own to the punk community, though.
It really is.
Yeah, for sure.
You gotta give it to him when it comes to the burn game.
That's pretty harsh, but that sucks.
Yeah, it's very funny.
So, just to stick on this Fox News headline, so like the headline, you know, the question Nicole asked, she was like, you know, what's going on with these Trump women?
She tried to play the hypocrite card, like I was saying, between Giuliani and how he obviously hates women, and she's like, well, how can these other women in the Trump administration, these other women in the Trump family, stand by Trump when he so obviously hates and demeans women.
You know, are they are they dead inside or they paid off?
And then, you know, her guest was like, yes, yes, yeah, they are.
And what's funny is in this thumbnail image for the article, they've put Fox News has put Nicole Wallace's face in the middle and she's like bracketed on either side by Ivanka and Melania.
And Ivanka and Melania have just like the brightest smiles.
They have like the warmest, happiest, brightest smiles.
I mean, Ivanka kind of looks terrible like a demon, but they're both obviously very happy, very full of life.
No, obviously not Dead Inside.
And smack in the middle is Nicole Wallace looking stoically, almost angrily, at the camera.
You know what's not in this picture, like, anywhere to be seen?
Lips.
There's just no lips in this entire picture.
What do you think that is?
There's a direct correlation between welcomes and lip size.
We all know this.
Yeah.
I read that study.
And complexion, as well.
I just think it's funny, like, this thumbnail is like, who's really Dead Inside?
You decide.
You decide who's dead inside.
So in order to serve their, their, this is like a weird meta.
It's not a meta episode.
It's just like an episode three layers removed from whatever it's actually about.
Because I kind of worked backwards too.
I saw this like, oh, Nicole Wallace called the Trump ladies dead inside.
And that's funny.
And that's going to piss off a lot of people.
And that's where we started.
And then I realized, oh, no, like the the worst thing is what they were responding, what Nicole Wallace was responding to with what Giuliani said.
And then furthermore, it's Fox responding to what Nicole Wallace said.
And the way they try to outwoke Nicole Wallace is by saying, well, you said bad things about women.
Like, how can you be a feminist?
Basically.
Antifem.
Ever heard of it?
No, because I just coined it right now.
They're gonna like, yeah, mask up in like, I don't know, what's... Oh, the pink pussy hats.
Tight.
Right?
Alright, pink pussy balaclavas.
No, they'd be anti-feminist, so they'd be like masking up in like Adam Calhoun gear or something.
Tan or camo pussy balaclava.
Ski mask.
It's just still got the weird corners on the top.
Yeah, just because it's for women.
This must be a difficult task for them because it's going to be really hard for them to take down the real heroes of feminism.
White women.
Yeah, it's been tough.
So part of this article, part of this Fox News piece says, political commentator Brett McHenry told Fox News that feminists and liberal women champion women's rights unless those women disagree with their politics.
Yeah, what's not in this article is Nicole Wallace calling for abortion to be outlawed for Ivanka and Melania specifically.
You know what struck me in this sentence you just read is that they called that ESPN lady a political commentator.
Well, she is now.
So are we, dude.
It's true.
Everyone in this room is a political commentator.
Where's our phone call?
It's pretty cool, though, to think about.
Like, where is she attacking the rights of Ivanka and Melania?
Like, she's just attacking their character, basically.
Which is a totally cool thing to do.
I mean, even though it's disingenuous because it's coming from Nicole Wallace.
I mean, they're right too.
Remember there was that weird, people were saying, maybe Ivanka can be the mouthpiece.
Maybe Ivanka can speak some truth to him.
Maybe Ivanka will really do the work and really wake him up.
She's a millennial, she can convey the message to her daddy.
and that just nothing why why was that even a conversation you know we knew that wasn't gonna happen that was just pipe dreams i guess i love it when they call her like the first daughter like she's like she's a 12 year old chelsea clinton or something like how dare you talk about ivanka that way What is she then, dude?
She's a lot of... I don't even know what... She has, like, a job.
She has, like, a title.
Yeah, I don't know what her official position is, but she's doing a lot of stuff.
She's definitely part of the administration, yeah.
Yeah, so this is, like, the whole idea of, uh... You know, liberals say they're feminists, but they criticize this other woman for, like, hating gay people.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's an argument that the right tries to put forward a lot.
But it's true, like, how can he be a feminist like some of those fetus are female?
Right.
No, exactly.
Probably.
Yeah.
Facts.
Can't disagree there.
This is yet another example, McHenry said, Ivanka and Melania can't win with the media.
If they show too much emotion, they're, quote, not taking the White House serious enough.
If they don't show much emotion, apparently they're now stoic and cold.
I don't think anyone's ever accused those two of showing too much emotion.
No.
It's been a running joke forever how like Melania just Constantly that that that video where he's trying to hold her hand.
Mm-hmm Yeah, you know that that's been a joke the whole time is how she's just very detached from that She's just she it's got to be checked out Can you you would have to be checked out any human would have to be checked out to be in that relationship in that building Yeah I guess.
I mean, maybe you're into it.
Like, you know, women can be monsters too, you know?
Yeah, same thing.
I don't want a King Shamer, you know?
She might be some sort of interesting... But I agree with you, Tony.
Like, I think that she probably is not cool with all this negative attention.
But I'm not trying to defend her at all because, like, she's married to the Beast and she's probably got some terrible sentiments behind her, but...
Yeah, we shouldn't be defending her.
Oh, I'm not.
I'm not at all.
All I'm saying is, like, I haven't seen her for, like, the last two months, and then she popped up this last week or whatever.
Wait, oh, did she?
Yeah, she appeared, yeah.
Thank God she's okay.
So, yeah.
No, I don't care if she's okay or not.
I just, you know, I don't know what I know.
I know.
I don't know what I think, dude.
Cool.
What was I gonna say here?
You were going to talk about how Brit Henry is really a champion of women?
Yeah, well, I had something else to say about these comments before we get into who actually Brit Henry is.
Like, this is a feminist argument.
Oh, but what I was going to say is, like, feminism is, like, If you extrapolate from the tenets of feminism, you can arrive at the conclusion that women can be monsters too, like I said.
That's their right as a woman, with individual feelings and thoughts, is that those thoughts can be fucking terrible.
That's how it works.
There's nothing incompatible with feminism and being a bad person.
Exactly.
So, Britt McHenry.
I was like, what's this name?
I was like, is this Britt Hume?
Is this Britt Hume on Fox News?
Then I clicked on their name and found out that it was a former female ESPN reporter.
And the second hit When you search for Brit McHenry is the viral video of her berating a tow company clerk.
It's like a security video of her big-timing the woman who works at like checkout at this tow company.
Cool.
It went viral because of what a piece of shit Brit McHenry is to another woman!
To another woman.
Good God.
Like, the title of this viral news item is ESPN reporter berates tow company clerk.
And, I mean, I want to say, like, tow companies kind of suck.
Yeah.
Like, not like low-key fuck tow companies, but, you know, we're all just trying to make a living here.
Right.
And they're contracted by the city.
Just saying.
So, blame the city.
Blame the government.
Sure, yeah.
It's a problem of big government.
Well, it's a little government, too.
Capitalism.
Yeah, um... It's capitalism, obviously.
So, uh... This video is crazy.
One of the first things she says to the tow company clerk is, uh, I'm in the news, sweetheart.
I will sue you.
She sweethearted her?
Good God.
She sweethearts her, she baby girls her.
Oh, she says, I'm in the news, sweetheart.
I will fucking sue this place.
She goes on to say, like, listen, like, you're a queen.
What are you doing here?
Like, you know, empower yourself.
Like, we don't have to take this anymore.
You're beautiful.
She got a one week suspension for this video.
Um, and then she eventually got like laid off and she claimed that she got laid off and demoted because she was white.
That's clearly why.
Yes.
Yeah, obviously.
Well, I mean, ESPN is pretty fucking racist against white people.
When was the last time you saw a white guy in an NBA highlight reel?
But, yeah, to play on what you're saying, Tony, if she was POC, she probably would have been arrested, so, you know, that's why she was suspended, because she was white.
If she wasn't white, she would have been arrested.
She would have been arrested for not having a job.
Yeah, exactly.
That's all I wanted to say about that.
What are you doing on the premises?
Yeah, so it's obviously hilarious that Britt McHenry, who said, lose some weight, baby girl, to the tow company clerk is Fox News' only go-to when defending another woman for supposedly anti-woman statements.
Perfect.
It's like poetic, almost.
So these are comments from the Fox News comments section on foxnews.com.
FoxEqualsPropaganda says, Big troll.
We don't take kindly to trolls in here.
But I'll read this because the response is good.
FoxEqualsPropaganda says, The only reason either woman stays near that pig is money.
Okay.
Dude, uh, Tony.
I found this cool tofu that's like fermented and I lick it and I get high as shit.
Like trippin' balls.
I'd rather be waterboarding.
Dude, Tony, I found this cool tofu that's like fermented and I lick it and I get high as shit.
Like tripping balls.
Do you want to try it?
It's like a prophylactic, right?
Not prophylactic, it's like it gets me going, right?
Yeah, it's stimulant and it's psychedelic.
What's the word I'm actually looking for?
Diuretic.
Diuretic, yeah.
Oh yeah, for sure.
If you eat it, you'll diuretic.
What's the horny food?
What's horny food?
Aphrodisiac.
Yeah, that's my contribution.
I'm just going to go home now.
See you.
Have a good night.
Tofu-licking hedonists.
You only care about the base pleasures of this earth.
That's why you lick tofu?
I feel like the hedonism thing, like a tofu-licking hedonist, I think it leans towards saying a light jab at a homosexual or LGBTQ person.
Like, hedonism, tofu-licking, liberal, you know what I mean?
The tofu licking touches on the soy boy thing, for sure.
Soy boy!
No, yeah, yeah.
Right, I mean, it's... But I feel like a true, like, soy boy hedonist wouldn't be, like, licking the tofu.
They would be, like, rubbing it all over their chest and squeezing the juice out of the tofu on themselves.
But I mean, honestly though, I'm kind of on their side.
I like fox propaganda, but I'd also rather be surfing than talking to them.
Oh, that's not what they mean by waterboarding.
Oh, shit.
Remember, it's not wakeboarding, bro.
Do they mean they'd rather be waterboarding somebody?
Because that's how it's phrased.
Dude, we're going to go waterboarding in Lake Arrowhead this next week.
I'd rather be waterboarded.
Like, they need a coffee mug that says, I'd rather be forcibly ingesting water through my nose.
I feel like, I mean, that's a threat.
Like, I'd rather be waterboarding you than hearing you talk.
This is way more aggressive.
Yeah, it's super aggressive.
Yeah, you're right.
We should get a mug.
If we ever make a mug, because we're coffee freaks here, it'll say, I'd rather be waterboarding.
Right?
We'll get Nick to draw a dude with a MAGA hat surfing.
Waterboarding!
He'll be waterboarding on some water, dude.
The only reason either woman stays with that pick is money.
One, assumes that women only want to be with men for money.
And two, denies that women can also be fucking evil, like we talked about earlier.
Like trash.
Right.
They're subservient and they adhere to... They go to men and they latch on to men.
Yeah.
It's pretty horrific and horrendous.
I latch on to my woman.
I also like how... So, just saying.
One of them is his daughter.
It's not, you know... I mean, they're both terrible.
But it's like...
You know he's latched on to his daughter, dude.
She can't... He can't... She can't divorce him.
You know?
Why would you not take that free job?
She could just trade places with Tiffany.
I don't think he'd notice.
Oh, true.
No, he'd notice.
I forget that she's not the first daughter.
Come on, dude.
You know he'd notice if Tiffany swabbed him.
Yeah, he probably would.
Come on.
My Monkey Hero says, liberals can't understand why a beautiful woman likes an older and successful man and why she doesn't have a lesbian lover.
Liberal equals lack of any morals and into partner slash wife sharing.
That sounds lit.
So like his argument is like, they don't like Trump because he's not getting cucked by Melania.
That's literally their argument.
Like they want him to be fucking cucks like they are.
We moving on?
Okay, cool.
Great addition.
Okay, next post is from MRCTV.
Same shit.
MSNBC hosts suggest Melania and Ivanka are dead inside or paid off.
And their caption, this Facebook account, MRCTV, says, The hate that the liberal media have for the Trump family is like nothing we've seen before.
We're entering a new age of hate.
Where people are like, hey, those ladies are mean.
This is the first time people have ever been really cruel to anybody.
No one's ever, you know, said anything about a First Lady ever.
Not that, you know, she's a trans woman or, you know, secretly eating the faces of children or anything.
Every single person clutching their pearls at this supposed anti-woman insult has called Michelle Michael.
You know what else is crazy?
Hate is new.
Cruelty, and so is racism, if you didn't know.
Racism didn't exist until Obama got elected.
It came back.
When Martin Luther King died, racism went away.
He sacrificed himself on a fiery cross and saved us all from racism.
We all know that Jim Crow is based on IQ.
Yeah, it has to do with IQ and genetics.
I think we should instate a new voting policy where only if you comment on Facebook with perfect grammar are you allowed to vote.
That's my opinion as a liberal.
You also have to give a blood sample too.
It looks like May 20th, 2013, you used the wrong your.
They look on your fucking Facebook and shit.
Sorry, sir.
You meant to put an ellipsis here, but it turns out you inserted 14 dots instead.
So that is going to be 11 years in prison, one for each dot.
So good.
We should start punishing boomers that way.
I can't wait to punish all the boomers.
Lori Labbitt says in response to this leading MRCTV caption, uh, I have never witnessed so much hate and racism like this before.
God please bless and protect his great family.
It's peaking.
It's getting real hot right now.
Yeah, my landlord said that to me once.
He looks at you and says, I have never been- Uh, it was a woman.
I'm sorry.
They looked at you and were like, you're racist.
You got brown skin.
You're obviously racist.
No, she literally said, I've never witnessed so much hate and racism like this before.
Against Trump?
Did it ever happen to you?
No, that really happened.
What was she citing?
Well, yeah, she was talking about the post-Trump election.
She was really upset about my Facebook posts.
Calling them an orange Cheeto.
Yeah.
Oh, she's one of those business owners that, you know, She wasn't a business owner at the time, but she is now.
That's a business.
I mean, that's that is a business.
She wasn't a business owner at the time, but she is now.
Okay.
I mean, owning a building.
The reason why slumlords exist is because business owners don't want to pay for.
So what was the context?
Yeah, sorry.
So it was after the election.
And I think that I posted something or reposted something about like punching Nazis in the face.
And she was horrified that I would resort to such violence.
Such racism against Nazis!
Such racism, you know, and I don't know.
She, like, kind of went off a tangent.
Um, she was doing me a favor.
My car was at, like, the dealership and it was getting serviced and she was going to drive me to pick it up.
So we're just having, yeah, we're just having coffee and, um, I mean, she's just like a, she's just a quiet woman who I just assumed voted for Trump, but she's like, you know, I'm not political.
I really try to, you know, stay out of that.
So, uh, right.
Yeah.
Like, like politics don't matter.
It's about, it's about, uh, the interactions day to day in my life.
And I only care about me.
It's not okay to be political.
No, it's not.
We were having this conversation, and she went off on a tangent about refugees or something.
It was really great, and I was like, yo, Elaine, my parents are refugees.
I don't know if you know this.
And she was like, well, your parents seem nice.
And I was just like, well...
Mind blown!
In hindsight, me calling your landlord a dude is funny to me.
Okay, I'm glad you've come to terms with that.
I think it's funny.
Yeah, so that's, it's just hilarious.
Like, what would happen if they actually experienced racism?
If Lori Labbitt actually experienced an all-black government or an all-person of color government that actually instituted racist policies against white people?
Like, you know, it's the same, it's...
The same thing with socialism.
Like, I'm calling everything socialist.
Like, we can just do socialism now and they won't be able to tell the difference, right?
We can just do racism against white people now and it'll just be the same thing to them.
Honestly, a cool exercise to do is go to Japan, a nationalist country, where they look at every white person strangely.
It can help any white person experience racism.
For real.
Yeah, I'm just looking at Lori, and I mean, just based on her picture, I would guess that she might have been a teenager during the Civil Rights Movement, so I'm also just really wondering, you know, what she felt about racism in that era.
She thought it was booming.
She thought what was booming?
Racism.
The civil rights era.
But she says she's never witnessed this much racism.
Alright, I'm just trying to make a boomer joke.
Oh, okay.
Well, she's still mad because she was plucked out of her homeschool and forced to be bused to another school.
Good God.
No, like, it's so funny.
All these people that we talk about, if you actually look at them, like 80% of them are just retired.
Yeah.
80% of them are just retired, tuned out of the world except for Fox News and whatever insane Facebook accounts they follow.
It's a bad drip to be on.
Ben Shapiro had a post about this too.
Sweet.
Same headline to the Daily Wire article, but his caption says, Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.
Are you making fun of Jews right now, dude?
Chill out, bro.
No, just one.
See, the thing about not being anti-Semitic is acknowledging that Jews can be bad people.
Right, they can.
And also, he's not racist because he's Jewish.
Just saying.
Also, I'm just imagining him struggling to put on his shoes.
So he has velcro straps to put them on.
He's like... Mom, they're too big again!
Like he's fucking Benjamin Buttoning his way down the foot size chart.
I would love to see him as a baby then.
A wrinkled old man.
I hate Ben Shapiro.
Hate's a strong word, but he sucks a lot.
And I say that with all the Jewish blood in my body.
I've never witnessed so much hate until this moment.
I've got a boiling Jew blood right now.
Let me read, I guess, the Facebook comments on this Ben Shapiro post first.
Alan Camu, not the philosopher, not the existentialist, this dude's got his own stuff going on.
Alan says, Conservative women have their own hashtag MeToo movement.
Did you get shit on a female liberal today?
Me too.
What?
I can't.
What does it mean?
Like, did you get shit?
Like... No, did you get shit on?
Did somebody shit on you?
As a female liberal?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, uh... I hate kink shaming, first off.
Exactly, you gotta quit that shit with the quickness.
So there's a couple interesting ideas here.
The first one being equating like mild criticism from a Republican talking head with rape and sexual assault.
Yeah.
That's obviously the most egregious idea in here.
You articulate things so well.
Thank you very much.
Uh, the funnier idea to me... Well, no, sorry.
The funny idea to me is, like, he's claiming to be a woman that was shit on by a female liberal, and he says, me too.
But, um... Can't kink-shame him for roleplaying.
But, uh, the other idea in here is that conservative women weren't also participating in Me Too.
Right.
There were.
A few, you know.
Some, like, spearheads of, like, certain states and shit like that.
Well, I don't, I'm not trying to, like, count the number of, like... Me neither.
Women, you know, conservative... I'm just saying, like, you know, rape is a real thing that hap... You know, like, the idea here is that rape is, like, a fake thing that liberals made up.
Like, that's what the idea is here.
Therefore, no conservative participated in the Me Too movement.
Me Too is not a political thing.
It's not.
Well, it is a political thing.
It's more than that, though.
Why don't you think it's political?
I think it's more universal than that.
I think it's above politics.
You're trying to say it's not partisan.
That's what you're trying to say.
That it's not a Democrat-Republican thing?
Is that what you're trying to say?
I just don't see it.
I see it as a large, huge ethics thing happening.
But so are politics.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, but I think it's more important than politics because women are victimized en masse Across the board.
Yeah.
I mean, one hand, I'll lend like some credibility to one hand of your argument.
But I mean, yeah.
I mean, if we have these, all these like old white dudes trying to like, you know, police our bodies.
Right.
In a very political way.
And then when you, when you contextualize it in that way, it's really hard to argue that it's not political.
Yeah, okay for sure.
I just think it's just people shouldn't even think twice about this shit like rape is Extremely abhorrent and and so is controlling women's bodies.
So but yeah, whatever you're Thank you.
I like how this person's equating getting name-called to rape.
Yeah, like that's amazing.
Yeah, that's Close As close as, like, I can be to, like, uh, Tibet from here, you know?
What would be crazy if, like, you were to say to an explo- like, you were to name call an exploited woman.
Like, that would be even crazier, you know?
If you were to say, like, oh, they didn't have, you know, their- their- their words meant nothing.
Like, if you said something like that to somebody who was also, you know, possibly a victim, uh, that would be even worse, maybe.
Uh, Jade Alexander says, That would... Okay, so, you know, the headline is, of course, you know, MSNBC panel discusses Trump women being dead inside.
And Jade Alexander claps back with, that would be pro-abortion Democrat women.
They take steps to make sure they are dead inside.
Nice.
Get it?
Wow.
She's funny.
Are they or whoever, Jade?
You know, who knows?
Funny.
Could be a man, could be a woman, could be a... I'm gonna say they're funny.
Could be a reptile.
Could be a scorpion.
This is like the best one.
I love this.
And that's still tired.
People still don't understand that being pro-choice is not being pro-abortion.
It's not about the right to kill something, it's about agency over your own body.
Get the fuck out of here.
I want to take back the pro-abortion thing.
I'm pro-abortion.
I'm fine with that.
It's more to the point.
I like the wording here though.
Maybe we're misreading this comment.
Maybe we're misunderstanding Jade because they say they take steps to make sure they are dead inside.
So I think what they're doing here is they're acknowledging that the fetus is part of the woman.
They are dead inside.
So maybe this is a woke comment.
Who knows?
Okay.
Pat... Pat Huenfeld says... She may want to keep in mind that she doesn't know the president, never spoke with the president, and it's unlikely she ever will.
I'm really tired of people presuming they have some kind of inside info or a personal relationship with someone they've never met.
Cool.
Yeah.
I like to imagine it.
The real reason he's so perturbed is because there's somebody out there claiming to be hanging out with him, knowing and talking about Pat, but Pat's never known him.
Yep.
Knows the pain of the president.
I like the idea, like, you're not, like, you're gonna criticize the president, but you've never once called him to hang out.
Yeah, that's really rude.
Right?
It's fucked up.
I think it's safe to assume we all know how the president is.
The president will fucking let you know what kind of a person he is on the 10-minute mark of every hour.
It is really fucked, though.
That hurts my soul that we have this guy, like, beaming messages to us through the internet.
It sucks so much.
Well, weren't they talking about doing, like, an Amber Alert-type system where the president could just tweet directly into your phone?
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, during his first year, they were talking about it.
That is...
So, like, the president can block you on Twitter, but you can't block him on your own phone.
That's real cool.
And the federal courts told him he couldn't block people, but he's still blocking people.
See, when that happens, I'm going to get a message that says, you know, from Trump or whatever, but it's going to be framed like an Amber Alert, and I'm going to answer that with my stamp that says, Trump lives here, letting them know where the baby is.
It's in the White House.
Or just reply with Pizzagate.
They're in common at Ping Pong Pizza.
You should have a stamp that says just Pizzagate.
Forever Pizzagate.
It would be like the Pizza Hut reader stamp.
A little bit of deep digging though is like you'll understand that Pat feels this way too because he does know Trump.
There's an old tape of his Apprentice edition and Trump says, see you later bro.
Yeah, he didn't even get fired by him.
That's a bro.
He never even got to be in the internship.
He never got that far.
But he dapped him up though.
He said, later bro.
Hipster Maximus says, For the record, I have never seen a credible porn star before.
Dude's seen a lot of porn stars, none of them credible.
Yeah, they all do it bad.
None of them following through on the promises they make on screen.
I have never seen a credible porn star before.
The majority of them are actually dead inside and commit suicide or die from disease.
Holy fuck.
Real cool shit.
Most are addicted to drugs to numb the pain of being dead inside, and then he goes on to cite, like, three different scientific studies that have been completed on the- Oh, oh no wait.
No, that's just nothing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, this is an insane thing to say about any topic, but especially, you know, it just seems very cruel.
Seems like he's taking pleasure in the idea that women are suffering.
This dude fucking sucks.
Yeah, this is a bad, bad deal.
Yeah, is it that he's seeking pleasure or that he doesn't even think that women... what am I saying?
Is he seeking pleasure with what?
In making fun of these women?
I just think dude can't even bust when he's watching porn.
You know what I mean?
He's like, they're lying to me.
Look at this guy.
Is this a real picture of this hipster Maximus?
Yeah, I'm not sure because it does look like a caricature of what the CrossFit Bro thinks of as a hipster.
It's a guy with sunglasses and a huge beard.
Like a pompadour.
Like a pompadour and a manicured mustache.
So sick.
But the beard has been co-opted by the operator class.
Absolutely.
And by the CrossFit class.
Oh, has it?
Because that's not how they used to come up and compliment my beard every day.
I hate it.
Are you a tradesman?
I hate it so much.
I hate it so much.
Tony, are you a tradesman slash union worker?
I had a guy ask me what kind of comb I used.
As if there's more than one beard comb.
He was like, you using a metal comb yet?
I was just like, I don't want to talk about beards.
I'm not going to talk about my grooming with you, dude.
Beard culture is not a thing.
That's not what the word culture means.
You're allowed to have a beard?
And that's about the extent of a beard.
I just want to say that I've heard porn stars say that they're going to make people cum and they make them cum.
And so they deliver and they're not lying and they're truthful and they deliver on what they're saying.
And I mean maybe he's referring to like how incredibly good porn stars are at their jobs.
Maybe that's what he means by they're not credible.
Nice wordplay, dude.
Hey, I'm just trying to give hipster Maximus the benefit of the doubt.
He seems like a great guy in all other respects.
You shouldn't, dude.
You shouldn't give this dude the benefit.
I just can't with these dudes.
I mean, just, you know.
Yeah, I mean, they're understandable.
Try to joke about them, but, like, that's all we can do.
They're a completely... I mean, I don't...
I said hate, and I say hate, but like these people are like the bottom of the fucking societal barrel.
Like should not exist.
No, this guy's got two upvotes.
He's like two levels higher than the bottom.
So him and someone else cares about his comment.
This is a very real thing though.
People don't take porn stars seriously, and that is a lot of the issues we talked about earlier when, you know, the industry does have a lot of work to be done still, obviously.
But I mean, there are some porn stars that are activists that don't get taken seriously because they're porn stars, where the activism is for sex workers' rights, for empowerment, for those things, for having agency over yourself.
So if you have agency over yourself, does that mean you get a 10% cut of whatever money you make?
be taken seriously because if you would fuck for money then you know you're not a real person even though i'm going to jerk off to you for free yeah if you so if you have agency over yourself does that mean you get a 10 cut of whatever money you make that's it yeah you do you get uh the idea the majority of them uh die from disease or Oh, you mean like everybody?
Yeah.
You mean like everybody who dies?
Everybody dies, yeah.
Sucks.
Also, the idea that, um, like you said, you, like, spurred a thought at me, Tony, uh, you were saying, you know, porn stars just not being taken seriously, obviously by these commentators, obviously by Rudy Giuliani, um, it's, it's kind of crazy that Rudy, like, gets to the nut of the problem, pun not intended, Where he cites women in this very specific instance of pornography, the porn industry, as victims.
He cites them as being exploited, right?
Exactly.
And then on the other hand, he uses that exploitation to then discredit the supposed victim of this exploitation.
Sucks.
Never realizing he's making the best argument for believing women.
He gets right to it and then just uses it right against them.
That's what I mean.
He's not clued in.
He doesn't know what we're talking about as plus minus 30 year olds.
You know what I mean?
He just doesn't understand it.
It's almost as if he doesn't like women.
Oh yeah.
For sure.
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and think...
Nah, I'm not.
It's like, it's like a cop, you know, a man walks in.
I've been shot in the arm.
I've been shot, not only in the arm, I got shot in my cheek right here.
And the cop says, why would I believe you?
You got a frickin' hole in your head.
You're frickin' crazy, dude.
I'm gonna put you in the mental institute.
Was that the story at 50 Cent?
So you just had to leave it in there, yeah.
That's the name of this episode, The Story of 50 Cent.
Aris... what?
Aristobulus says in a reply to Hipster Maximus, another commentator dissented from Hipster's take, and Aristobulus is replying to that dissenting opinion.
Uh, that person, that other commentator, apparently believes prostitution is a profession.
So he does believe that... So he does believe that to be a hitman, or an illegal alien, or a human trafficker, or a simple burglar were professions too.
I wish those things were intangible.
And like, that was one whole clique of people.
That'd be tight.
That'd be sick!
What's that?
Like a big crew of... of... of illegal... Oh wait, no, I didn't say the illegal part.
I thought... I just heard alien, like they're from space.
Sounds like the plot to Ocean's 13.
Right, yeah.
No, this is Suicide Squad, but with all the right-wing boogeymen.
Right, right, right.
No, yeah, so their argument is that human trafficking isn't a profession, Like, we should only believe people with professions, and since human trafficking and murder for hire are not professions, ergo, we don't believe- Like, that's- it's not the point that those aren't professions.
It's the point that those are, like, bad things to do.
Yeah.
I mean, illegal alien?
I don't even understand.
What are you talking about?
It's where you come in here and they give you a small business instead of a white person.
Yeah, you know.
So you can exist amongst the economy in America or something.
Or the world.
Yeah, so that was a funny comment.
Drug traffickers are business owners.
Just to argue against what you were saying, dude.
You're wrong.
And they are.
That's not what I was saying.
I don't know what I'm saying.
Yeah, haven't you seen the show Weeds?
Yeah, just a small businesswoman trying to make it.
Trying to make it in a man's world.
Why isn't that show used more in like the whole white privilege is what's ruining the legalization of marijuana commentary?
Yeah, it'd be a big notch in that belt.
That show is very ironically funny to go watch.
It's like, look at this lady.
She's just doing her weed business.
I guess Breaking Bad could be used in the same... Yeah, I was gonna say.
I've never actually seen that show before.
Smoke weed, don't smoke meth.
I'm not gonna condone smoking meth.
So we're not gonna do that.
Try it to see if you like it or not.
Or never try it.
Says Martin Matt.
Sarcastically.
Charlie Seattle is going to take some skill to read this comment.
Try to figure out how I want to do this.
Take a sip.
Oh, shit.
I love it.
Holy crap.
I'm trying to figure out how I want to do this.
Yeah, because it's really important that you're...
It's really important.
You translate the proper...
I think I can do it.
Okay.
Charlie Seattle says, The patriotic Trump family once again vilified by all the leftist MSN members, which is, of course, mainstream media members, such as Hammer and Sickle NN, AB Hammer and Sickle, NB Hammer and Sickle, Hammer and Sickle BS, MSNB Hammer and Hammer and Sickle BS, MSNB Hammer and Sickle, Hammer and Sickle NB Hammer and Sickle, NPR.
Good, though.
Wah posts, which is of course Washington piece of shit.
Huff posts, again Huffington piece of shit.
Media malpractice and the NY Slimes!
Yeah, I love the diversity in that comment.
My favorite for sure is Hammer and Sickle BS.
So good.
I'm a big fan of the NY Slimes.
It's the AAA baseball team.
That's the only name they got?
Their logo is Slimer.
Oh, sorry.
I thought it was like some slime, like bullshit.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, me either.
I do, so that's cool.
Maybe some of our listeners do too.
Is that like old slang?
No, I think it's very new slang.
It's a cool new kind.
That only Matt knows.
Uh, so alright, so that's the end of that topic.
Great comment.
Beautiful comment.
One of my favorites that we've ever had.
Uh, I love the idea that, uh... Where is it here?
Which one is it?
Uh... I could have sworn that, uh... Yeah.
CNBC.
The financial wing of NBC.
Communists.
Yep.
Those day traders?
Yep.
Yep.
Communists.
Those financial analysts?
Even worse, they're centrists.
They're liberals and Hillary supporters.
Just kidding, they're actually full-on conservative fucks.
Okay, next topic.
Oh god.
Alright, so let's go ahead and watch this Bill Maher take in real time.
Okay.
Did I already make that joke?
Yeah!
Hell yeah!
Don't worry guys, if you haven't had your coffee you're about to get woke.
You can ask about the economy because this economy is going pretty well.
We have to... what?
Why is that funny?
It is going well for now.
Okay, I'm gonna stop it right here.
Yeah, the economy's going well and that we're adding so many jobs.
Like you always say, Tony, so many jobs, like six jobs per person.
And we've had six jobs since this administration started.
So many jobs just flying around.
And they take all those jobs you have into account and count them as six new jobs.
It's really cool how, like, you have a job when somebody's in the backseat of your car and then as soon as they get out you don't have a job anymore.
Like, I love that.
But as soon as you log back in, you got a job again, buddy.
With the quickness.
This is what pisses me off.
This is the first thing that pisses me off about this video.
And just, you know, Democrats in general, like, uh...
You know, oh, the economy's going well, so we have to talk about Russia, or we have to talk about Trump all the time.
No, the economy's not going well.
This is a terrible economy.
It's fucking getting worse by the day.
This future that we've laid out for ourselves is terrible.
This future of delivering food via an app, waiting in line at the grocery store for somebody.
Doing that all day for less than minimum wage?
It's bad because you're depleting your own personal assets at the same time, and so you're completely...
It's a sign that we're pretty close to the end of capitalism.
I hope.
I'm sure you can be.
People do make money off of it, but it's not good money.
No, it's not a good...
It's a sign that we're pretty close to the end of capitalism.
I hope.
I'm going to put my trust in that one.
I feel like you're taking the same angle this is about to go.
No!
I'm an accelerationist about capitalism.
And actually democracy, too, to a degree.
But capitalism is the economy.
Yeah, it sounds like you just want America to fail, Matt.
Yeah, you might be right about that, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
Okay, let's get into the rest of this video.
For now, right.
That's my question.
I feel like the bottom has to fall out at some point.
And by the way, I'm hoping for it.
Because I think one way you get rid of Trump is a crashing economy.
So please, bring on the recession.
Sorry if that hurts people, but it's either root for a recession or you lose your democracy.
Okay, cool.
Cool thing to say.
Pretty polarizing, divisive comment that he made there.
It shouldn't be polarizing at all.
Everybody should be on exactly the opposite side of what he just said.
I hate it.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking lame.
People have said, he's saying this from a very, you know, rich white guy tower.
Like, yeah, when the economy falls out, you're not going to be able to get out of a job.
It's not going to be you, bro.
Like, you might have a hard time, but maybe you just don't buy a car that year.
He's not going to have a hard time.
Not even, maybe don't buy, like, your third car that year.
Yeah, exactly.
Or third house that year.
It doesn't affect him.
No, it's insane.
Like, every single person on the right wing who sees this and thinks Democrats are out of touch, they're elitist, is absolutely right.
Yep.
Yeah.
Completely.
This is like... Greed.
This is what people were already saying about the Democratic Party, that they're rooting for America to fail, which...
If you want to give a charitable definition to most Democrats, or a charitable, I don't know, just if you want to be charitable to them, you would say that, no, they don't want America to fail.
They want it to succeed, which is why they want somebody else, you know, in Donald Trump's place.
Now, what they think would make America succeed is totally different than what I or other people in this room might think would make America succeed.
But, no, Bill Maher just comes out and says it with his dumb mouth.
We need another Dust Bowl.
That would make us... You know how much character the people who live in the Dust Bowl have?
That's what we need.
We need a big tobacco boom here in the States, you know?
I don't know if the listeners care so much about my personal politics, but I think capitalism and democracy are pretty shot at this point.
Well, we don't live in a democracy, Matt.
We live in a constitutional republic.
You should put a reverb on that post.
Constitutional Republic!
I don't agree with him.
We're all dependent on the economy.
We all have jobs.
We all work with it.
This whole system is fucked.
And it should implode at some point.
And it will.
Okay, but if it implodes...
Nothing says that it's going to be replaced with anything better automatically.
Like, wishing for it to implode without actually having a set of values contrary to the system as it is, is absurd.
It's fruitless.
It's a power vacuum, you know?
Yeah, well, yes, but the idea of, you know, Democrats, their motivating principle is the status quo.
Like, they want to maintain this thing.
They only want it to fall apart in the hopes that, you know, they can gain something politically out of it.
Which I wouldn't normally have said before this comment.
But, you know, I have a big problem with Bill Maher.
I think he fucking sucks.
I think he's very unfunny.
His Islamophobia is abhorrent.
His Islamophobia, his likely racism, his ableism.
Not ableism, classism.
I mean, he's probably ableist too.
The classism is readily apparent and it was apparent all throughout Religiolus.
Did anybody see that?
Sorry.
As a real good fence-sitter, you know, true agnostic, I definitely hate that movie.
I think it's really demeaning and he's not winning anybody over with that movie.
You know what I mean?
The people he's trying to convince about not relying on religion, he just shits on them in the movie.
He's talking to himself that whole movie.
Exactly.
He's a fucking prick.
That movie is like the lowest on the total poll of my problems with them.
It's not even that bad.
Oh yeah.
But real quick, do people even notice how similar, especially in this little conversation he's having here, how similar his mannerisms are to Trump's mannerisms?
It's crazy.
The hands, the whole, it's real arrogant, the whole time it's real arrogant.
It's kind of short.
Yeah, that smug face.
Yeah, it's real smug.
Well, yeah, that's my biggest problem with him.
The hands?
The hands are the same?
It's funny, he perfected the, he, you know, he looks like he's perfected the Trump impression, so it's like, he's like, it's infected his soul.
But they've been doing the same thing, like, before.
It's the same, they come from the same mentality, they just happen to have different demographics, that's all it is.
Yeah, the reason I brought up Religulous is because I didn't really know much about Bill Maher.
I didn't grow up with HBO or anything like that.
I thought, oh cool, a movie about atheism.
I'm an 18-year-old atheist.
I love this shit.
Let's make fun of some Christians.
I owned it on DVD.
You own it?
I owned it on DVD.
Sorry, dude.
And I watched it and I was like, this isn't even good.
He's going up to everyday religious people and making fun of them when they're not even saying anything that bad.
He goes up to truckers in a mobile church and berates them and tells them how they're wrong.
He went to a dude playing Jesus at a Bible camp type thing and the dude was nothing but nice to him and Bill Maher was just talking shit to him the whole time.
That's a really bad approach to living.
But I mean it just it reflects like this sort of disregard for the like common person.
Yeah.
Did you say something Annie?
I just said, what a ding-dong.
Oh yeah, total ding-dong.
Dingus.
Yo-yo.
He's a ding-dong and a freaking freak-o.
Freaking weird man.
I think that's it to this.
Let me see here.
He's doing everything you could possibly do.
Yeah, okay, I don't care about that.
Yeah, so that's it.
Dude, real quick, how does he even still have a show on the air?
After the N-word thing?
After him in general.
How does he still have a show on the air?
Because white liberals love him.
He's plugged in, dude.
He's got the money flowing.
I just want to say, as the left, we need to squash this shit immediately.
The second it comes up.
There's no revolution.
There's no left revolution.
There's no political revolution without the working class.
Opt up.
Put a squash on the racism, put a squash on the sexism, homophobia, whatever.
But that doesn't mean, like, vilify the working class or pretend like they're, you know, we're bumpkins or something like that.
You know, it's it's it's something, you know, economic justice is something that we need to talk about as people on the left, not this, like, Oh, I'm glad states that voted for Trump are hurting right now.
That's a terrible argument.
You are not going to win anyone over to your side with that argument.
And it's just cruel.
It's absolutely cruel.
They'll probably go blue.
A lot of the states will go blue this next election, too.
You mean they'll start cussing and stuff?
No, they're gonna go blue, like blue balls.
Oh, okay.
Because that's real.
That whole argument though, that whole argument though, that them suffering is going to make them go blue, this whole thing is going to make them go blue, that's exactly the problem.
Because what's happening here is that those people, the people that we're talking about are suffering and are going to learn from it.
The more you suffer, you don't start thinking more clearly.
That's a bullshit privilege point of view right there.
The more you suffer, the more anger you get, the more bitter you get.
And if you have somebody else telling you it's not your fault, it's still their fault, which is what's going to continue to happen, the people who we think are going to get some sort of weird awakening from being fucked over, it's not going to happen.
They're just going to become more upset.
And it's, like you're saying, the more you suffer, the more people tend to dig in to their preconceived notions or their traditions.
And another thing, we need to fucking end the stereotype that stupid, poor people voted for Trump.
That's not Trump's base.
Trump's base is exactly who you think it is.
Who's the type of person that looks up to Trump?
Some dude working with his hands all day?
Some woman waiting tables?
No, it's the fuckin' small business owner who thinks he runs the world.
And he's gonna get a tax break.
And it's that dickhead who's fuckin' Blue Lives Matter doing CrossFit.
And it's that fuckin' asshole that runs your local government.
It's the same guy that complained about taxes, but has a boat and a lifted truck.
Exactly.
So, all of Orange County?
Yeah, it's the guy who walks into his small business that he's filled with undocumented workers.
Chanting, build that wall on election day, which is something that literally happened to one of my friends.
That sucks.
So that's the type of person, that's the type of person that voted for Trump.
Yeah, the people that like slave labor type shit, you know.
Poor people don't vote.
That's like, most people don't vote.
Think about it.
We have one fucking day a year or every election cycle to vote.
It's fucking stupid.
It's even more than that.
It's, I've had discussions with people who I'm like, I didn't get to vote today.
And they've been like, Oh no, I couldn't.
Like I had to work.
Exactly.
Because those fucking jobs don't tell you, hey, you know, it's within your rights to take an hour to go do this, right?
They're not going to tell you that.
I think you have like three hours to do it.
Yeah, you have plenty of time.
But the jobs don't tell you that.
And you also have to confront your boss to get that done.
Exactly.
If you don't have a union backing you or anything, maybe your boss fires you because some money went missing or something like that.
Yeah, exactly.
They're great stuff.
Happy.
There's another quote here from this same interview that I feel like is pretty revealing about Bill Maher and ties into our first topic.
Bill Maher on this same episode is talking about the North Korean summit and says, As for North Korea, Trump bragged yesterday that he didn't even prepare for the June 12th summit with Kim Jong-un in Singapore.
Cool stuff, yes.
He added, didn't prepare.
Of course.
When has he ever prepared for anything?
This guy didn't bring a condom to fuck a porn star.
Cool stuff.
Yes.
Had to get a jab in at Stormy Daniels there.
Like, do we even know whether or not he wore a condom?
Like, was that even part of...?
What's really funny is that, you know, if, you know, making the assumption that maybe he's sterile, and your only worry is disease, if you're gonna fuck anybody without a condom, a porn star is actually a pretty safe bet.
Because a porn star gets tested on the regular.
That's true.
And a porn star actually is being held accountable for them, you know?
So if your worry is disease, Porch is actually a pretty smart person to have sex with a condom on.
That's a good take.
And they also have the...never mind.
I was gonna get real close.
No, please, continue.
No, no, we're alright.
William Calabrese, in the comment, in the Facebook comment section, says, The progressive left has nothing!
No ideas!
Just spin, twist, and hate!
Which I think are like the three moves in Bop It.
Now hate it!
Twist it.
The only, quote, blue wave in November will be the one caused by the Tidy Bowl Man when what's left of the Democrat Party gets flushed down the toilet.
Is Tidy Bowl Man even a thing?
Yeah, I think he's like that little man in the commercials.
I thought it was that bald dude with the paper towels.
Again, you gotta give him credit.
You're mixing like three different things.
You're mixing like the Brawny Man with Mr. Clean with the Tidy Bowl Man.
And Scrubbing Bubbles.
Just the perfect man.
What about those little cuties, the Scrubbing Bubbles?
Can you imagine Mr. Clean's head on the Scrubbing Bubbles body?
Oh yeah, it makes me feel creepy.
Also, I always get confused about Thin Blue Line and was it the Blue Wave?
I mean, they're really probably the same thing.
You should, like, cause confusion on the internet.
The only blue wave we're going to be seeing this November is the cover of the box for the movie Meet the Deedles.
What?
Good God!
Good God!
Holy shit.
The VHS box for Meet the Deedles.
Check out Paul Walker's hair in that movie.
Fucking blue wave, dude.
What about deep blue sea or blue streak?
Yeah, you could have gone that way with it, too.
Those are cool, too.
Patrick McGuire says, Look, you people are idiots.
The economy was so bad that it could only go up.
Once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there.
I mean, unfortunately, there's so much more to this comment.
I read this first sentence and I was like, whoa, this is an interesting take.
But no, it's about the same.
But it's interesting nonetheless, I guess.
That is so crazy.
Yes, it went bad under Bush.
Because of Democrat policy.
Remember all the Democrat policy going through during the Bush era?
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I mean, maybe if this were a reference to the Clinton years and, like, the bank deregulations, NAFTA, that sort of thing, then maybe this would make sense, referencing Democrat policies, but no.
Referencing the further deregulation of banks during the Bush years.
Obama just kept hammering the economy down.
Yeah, he did it.
Remember?
Remember when that happened?
Like whack-a-mole.
Like hammer and sickle?
Right.
Yeah, he also jabbed a sickle into them.
Them.
The economy.
Well yeah, cut down the tall trees, and the tall trees are the jobs in this metaphor.
With the scythe.
He even said, this may be as good as it gets, so for over 12 years the economy was bad.
If you were 10 years old when it started, you would be 24 now, and have no idea what a good economy is.
I wonder what that would be like.
With the help of the media, it was easy to do.
So, no, there won't be any recession.
Obama set Trump up perfectly.
Again, a weird outlier take in here.
Yeah.
Perfect setup.
Trump being the shrewd businessman saw the opportunity.
What the fuck does this mean?
It's fantasy fiction, dude.
It's about what happened behind the scenes and the transition.
Like, there's three ways to go with this.
There's like, Obama is actually the architect of our current economy.
Trump came in, reaped all the benefits of it.
He sucks.
There's another take where it's like, No.
Obama fucked over the economy right until January 19, 2017, and then Trump made it good again.
He saw the opportunity and made it good again.
The third take is Trump is good because he exploited the Obama economy for his own benefit.
But which one is it?
Is it the second one?
Is it your favorite, Matt?
Yeah, that seems most likely.
The whole GOP is trying to unravel what's going on.
So they'll look to that concept that you mentioned and hold onto it.
But what's the opportunity here?
Trump saw a failing car wash and was like, oh, I can turn this ship around.
That is exactly how his supporters probably see it.
He's a businessman.
He can shape this country up.
But wouldn't everybody see that opportunity?
You know what I mean?
That's not how this works.
Yes, but what everybody sees the opportunity in the car wash is the fact that a machine's doing it and not women in bikinis.
I mean, also, all the math presented in this comment checks out, so... Right, okay.
Yeah, math, check.
Words are there, too, so we're good.
John Rosago Jr.
says... One second here.
Is he coming in hot?
Yeah, kind of.
Not as hot as the previous comment that I didn't grab, but this one kind of sums it up as well.
John Rosago Jr.
says, Plus, if you ever hear him talk about Christians, referring to Bill Maher, it makes me, as a Christian, want to put him through the television screen.
Illogical and condescending.
Not referring to his previous comment about killing a man, but no, referring to Bill Maher himself, who is illogical and condescending, therefore he deserves to die.
As a Christian, I have sentenced him to death.
Wait, chill, bro.
Like, you don't die from going through a TV screen.
Nah.
Do you hate a bus?
I mean, you know... I mean... They're like... The screen looks thin, but it's still pretty solid.
Oh don't worry, you're gonna find out.
And they don't specify what type of TV, so we shouldn't assume.
It could have been like an OG one, with a tube.
That's hard dude, like big, glass thick.
You're right, this is death.
Cause that's the TV he has.
I am sure that when he meets his maker, should be a very interesting conversation.
So like, he's going to heaven.
He's gonna meet his maker.
It's cool.
Comment over.
He wins?
It's fine?
Is he a real Christian?
Is he forgiving him?
Or maybe he's saying that like he's of the devil and that's his maker so he's gonna meet that guy instead.
What he's saying is he's practicing true Christianity and he doesn't have to forgive him.
God will judge him and like God is also and Jesus are forgiving him for judging him.
Yeah.
It's cool.
Pretty like even chilled out.
Cancel them all.
Let God sort them out.
Theresa Linville, who works at Retired, says, Bill, old buddy, you are truly a great American.
Not!
Got it!
Let's do this black not.
You actually wish this on the American people?
That our great nation would fall?
You too, sir, are one unhappy person.
Hatred does that to a person.
And you, sir, you are full of hatred.
I love this.
Like, berate the person with how hateful they are.
Like, you aren't a true Christian, for sure.
You don't love everybody.
Well, a true Christian would throw them to the television screen, so.
Right, but they'd be forgiven, so, you know.
It's okay for them to do that.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, frankly, I work with a happy person, and you are no happy person.
I take care of happy people all day.
Michael Leonard says, Roseanne loses her job for talking about someone, but Bill Traitor Marr can say that and have a job?
What the hell is going on?
Arrest him for creating domestic terrorism in our country.
What a P.O.S.
Which is pretty crazy.
I mean, hoping for the economy to crash is really like just wanting those Twin Towers to come down again.
For real.
The World Trade Center.
I mean, that's what you're aiming for with this comment, right?
The irony is all the work that Bill Maher has done to fight the terrorists with Islamophobia.
Exactly, true.
Push them away.
Can't be that way.
Stop being Islamic.
That's going to stop it real quick.
I've heard Bill Maher say that Islam is inherently violent and evil.
Yeah, he's also said things like he's scared when he sees a person in a sari at an airport.
He is a fucking abhorrent.
Sandra Honis says, somebody better dig into Bill Maher's happenings and doings.
He is sounding an awful lot like George Soros.
George Soros is Bill Maher's ghostwriter.
You know how George Soros just, like, tweets all day?
And you're like, man, this guy's crazy about everything he wants to do to America.
Look at him go.
At this point in life, I don't think George Soros even exists.
Like, I think he's a fake person.
George Soros is literally just ones and zeros on a meme page.
He's a binary code.
He's an algorithm that controls the economy.
George Zoros is the Michaela of Facebook.
How's his Facebook page though?
Is it popping or what?
Oh yeah, it's on fire.
But they are not going to get what they want because pro-life Trump has declared the USA a Christian nation.
And he has brought the spirit of God back to the White House.
So God is bringing this nation back to its sovereignty.
So like, her argument is like, Trump said the word Christian and then God was like, okay, you can have jobs again.
Like, that's literally her argument, is like, because Trump brought Christ back to the White House, God is making America good again with the gig economy.
They don't see the weakness in their own argument.
Don't they understand, like, the more babies that are born, the more people are going to take our jobs?
We need abortion.
Yeah, if you, like, factor in, like, regular mathematical principles, like, We're gonna lose jobs real quick.
Goddamn.
No, yeah, I recently read that it turns out millennials are stealing all of our jobs.
Yeah.
Did you guys read this?
Yeah.
Literal article.
Millennials are taking over the workplace.
Are you actually being serious right now?
Yeah.
Cause you know how millennials are like 30 now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's crazy how they're stealing all our jobs.
I think maybe we should bring back abortion and get rid of those guys.
Do you remember what publication did that?
Uh, probably the Wall Street Journal or, I don't know, some other shit.
It's all based on some guy who refused to learn how to use a computer.
And we're like, you have to, you have to learn.
He's like, I won't, I won't let them look into my eyes with their, with their FBI cameras.
And then he's like, we gotta let you go.
And they hired anybody else.
He's like, Millennials are taking our jobs!
Yeah, no.
P.S.
there's a really good episode of Citations Needed that I just listened to all about like generational warfare and how the idea of generations is like just a marketing gimmick basically.
Supposedly.
They go through the history of The creation of the idea of a generation.
The episode is episode 38.
The media's bogus generation obsession.
That's awesome.
Wasn't the person who benefited, the people that benefited most from generations was Pepsi, right?
Yeah, truly.
They actually trademarked the word generation.
Well, they were the choice of a new generation.
And they trademarked the color blue.
So I don't know if I'm willing to stop hating Baby Boomers, but that podcast episode is leading me toward the other direction with that.
Really?
So if citations needed, check that out.
Yeah, definitely.
You guys heard it here first, Alex is getting soft as fuck.
We got that NBC bump on citations needed.
It's basically just a way, their argument is basically just that generational divides are a way to separate pieces of the working class from each other and act like older people don't have similar interests to us.
All right, that's it for the episode.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you, Annie, for joining us.
Wow, that was a real pleasure reading white people comments for an hour and a half.
Thanks for that.
It's cathartic, right?
Yeah.
White people are dumb, dude.
Let's laugh at them.
I do have to shout out the newest Patreon subscribers.
Thank you, Liz.
Thank you, Lisa.
Lisa!
Thank you, Caitlin.
Thank you, Nick.
Thank you, Adam.
Friend of the show, Adam.
Thank you, Tom.
Thank you, Andrew.
And thank you, Eamon.
We appreciate all the support we get and you will appreciate that second episode you get every week when you subscribe to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult for $3.11 a month.
You get a super chill second episode every single week.
We are actually two patrons away from getting these damn shirts made.
Two more patrons and we will make these shirts and we will What's the word?
Give one away to a random Patreon subscriber.
Yeah, based on like an Instagram thing or a Facebook thing.
Based on a Patreon thing.
Yeah, thing.
And so do that.
Go subscribe, get your bonus episode every week.
Real quick, just for the listeners out there who have been listening for a while, you do want to know that I have a mom who I love to death and sometimes I talk about on the podcast and that mom's name is Lisa and she did subscribe to the Patreon.
Is that Lisa?
And she doesn't listen.
So, well, I hope she doesn't listen.
And if she does, you know I love you, so I don't have to tell you here.
I love you more than anything.
But, um, she doesn't listen, so you don't have to actually listen to subscribe.
Just tell anyone to subscribe.
Get it for a Father's Day gift.
It's a great gift for grads and dads.
I just gotta say thank you to Lisa for giving us Tony.
Oh, yeah.
He's a sweet, sweet angel.
And, um, probably rely on him a lot for this show.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Thank you for listening.
Write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, MinionDeathCult on all your social media.
Join the Facebook group, Minion Death Commandos.
Lots of fun bullshit in that group every day.
Export Selection