Subscribe at Patreon.com/MinionDeathCult to get every weekly premium episode This week, parents want to kill their dumb kids and their dumb kids' dumb teachers for allowing them to walk out in protest of gun violence. We have two exclusive Facebook videos: a Disgusted Dad pulls a knife on a student at a PTA meeting in order to prove a point and a nameless, faceless Dad confronts his son's principal to DEMAND answers from her. He is not satisfied. An extra, personal bonus episode on this topic is also available on Patreon
They should have been like, hey dude put the fucking knife away you idiot.
It sounds like he says it's completely legal.
Check out these completely legal teens.
I like the little boy that's like trying to show his mom the fucking thing he built or whatever.
He's completely- Not now!
We're going viral!
We're going viral, get the fuck out of the way!
Well if you look closely, he actually made a Switchblade with the K'nex.
He's like, Mom, is this what he has?
The liberals are destroying California.
And conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when the destroy the deserts fall there in Barbados.
Stay tuned.
All right, I'm Alexander Edward.
I'm Mountain Matt.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
That was an attempt at the power violence one I did last week.
A re-attempt.
Did you get it this time?
Hold on, let me do it one more time.
There we go.
That was better.
Uh, yeah.
The world is ending.
These goddamn kids are responsible.
The legal teens are responsible.
We're documenting it.
We got a fun, fun show for you folks today all about gun violence.
Just kidding.
The show is mainly about the response to the high school student walkout that we had last week.
The massive, massive protest that happened all across the country.
And just how goddamn pissed off we are about it.
Who let them do this?
Before we get into it, we do have to shout out the newest patrons over at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Thank you to Stefan, thank you to Kevin, and thank you to Adam.
We do this show twice a week.
There is a premium episode every week that you get delivered straight to your podcast app.
For only $3.11 a month.
$3.11 gets you four episodes a month.
So, uh, pretty good deal.
It's chill.
Last, uh, last bonus episode this Monday was, uh...
It was all about how Rex Tillerson is our new progressive hero for standing up to Trump by not vanking him as he was fired.
He will one day be on a dollar coin.
He's gonna run for the centrist party in 2020.
Just the common sense party, I hope.
American Independent Party.
So that is patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
All right, so let's get back to these no-good fucking kids.
You know, they called it a protest.
They said they were protesting, but if you ask me, it seems they're more anti-test than anything.
Right?
True, true.
If they were so protest, they would have stayed in school, stayed in class.
Maybe learned something.
Took the SATs, getting into a good college, rack up $80,000 in debt.
The secret to not failing a pop quiz is not being there for it.
And they knew that.
Okay, that's a good point.
Pop quiz, more like pop gun quiz, if they had their way.
Right?
We wouldn't be able to hold a shotgun quiz anymore.
No.
I think these kids should have to take a test Before they're allowed to talk about gun control.
They should have to take a test on the Constitution before they're allowed to protest it, right?
Absolutely.
It's fair.
Then when they fail this test, because we know they'll fail it, we'll see how fucking stupid they are.
How dumb these kids are.
And then nobody, nobody will buy into this shit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I have an example for that kind of test.
Yeah.
Just, you know, you take your eight year old, you put a, um, a ballistics vest on them and just see if they can stand up that fucking 22 round, uh, 22 gauge round.
And we're testing their like, their resiliency to firearms?
Yeah, like, you know, how they react.
There's like probably five or six different check marks.
If you're scared of something, if you're scared of a gun, how are you supposed to ban it?
Right.
I can't confront it.
You can't steal my gun if you're afraid of it.
Well, I don't know about you guys, but when I became a man on my 13th birthday, I was shot with a- So, hold on.
Yeah, so you're black, you're Irish, and Jewish now.
Holy shit, dude.
I am sorry just across the border.
Dude, it's cool.
I apologize for everything.
I wish I could claim it, but unfortunately, I'm just a good old red-blooded American.
So when I became a man- No hyphens.
No hyphens, please.
When I became a man, I was shot with a beanbag gun and then tased.
Yeah, I don't know.
And then I had to kill a puppy.
Sorry.
Had to do it to it.
Student walkout.
I think, instead of walking out, they should walk up to the school shooter and be a human shield.
Confront the school shooter.
Head on.
Do something valuable.
Yeah, head on.
Like, head first.
Like, right into him.
So, we got a lot of fun takes on this episode.
We got about three posts we're gonna get to.
If we can't get to them all, one of them will be relegated to an extra bonus episode this week.
Might be the best one because it's personal to a couple of us here.
It is somebody we know.
It's real.
Who had a little bit of a moment on Facebook about this student walkout.
The first two were videos.
Various parent-teacher interactions over this student walkout that are just really good, really fun stuff.
And I just wanted to briefly create a new segment for this show.
I didn't warn you guys, but this is what I'm doing.
I'm okay!
So, those are the takes we were talking about.
So, unfortunately there are other takes that we didn't have time to get to that I just want to go through real briefly because they're so fucking good.
This section is called Miscellaneous Takes, so like Miss Takes.
Okay, okay.
This is the Miss Takes.
It's a pretty good pun.
Not Miss like Ladies?
Like, not like lady takes?
No, like misc, like masc.
Oh, okay.
Masculine takes, but with an I and the C is silent.
There you go.
Um, yeah.
Okay, so one of my favorite takes, probably my favorite take throughout this whole, like, uh, aversion to student protest, my absolute favorite one is don't, don't protest gun violence Protest the weird kid in your classroom who might be a school shooter one day.
Yeah.
These students were all walking out after the fact.
Why don't you do something when you still have an opportunity to prevent a tragedy like this and protest that goth kid?
Naturally.
Just a student walkout in opposition to the weird kid in your class.
Attempt to get him banned.
Say, ban him.
Ban the boy.
I don't even agree with that.
What you do is, when you go to school and you see that kid who's reading his Anne Rice novels, you look him in the eyes and you say, it's gonna be him, you look him in the eyes and you say, hey, you fucking better not shoot us.
You better not come, you fucking better not shoot us.
I'm gonna fuck you up, you better not shoot us.
Hey man, communication could save us, dude.
Second take that I like was when you're trying to prove that these kids don't know what they're talking about, so you post a conversation you had with your dumb kid who doesn't know anything about the Second Amendment or the Constitution.
That's really good, just like putting your own child on blast on the internet to prove a point about how stupid kids are.
That's good.
And like not realizing that's that's probably your fault.
Oh, yeah, not really your fault that your kids dumb Not only that, but, like, your kid hates you.
Like, I know you hate your kid, but your kid also now hates you.
You're the reason your kid is getting off Facebook.
And then, uh, last take, and we kind of get into this one in the show, but, uh, these 17-year-olds, they're telling us what we can and can't do with our guns when they could barely wipe their own asses at this point.
Right.
Yeah.
This is an honest-to-God take I saw in a couple comments, like, Hey, you're only 17.
You just learned how to fuckin' shit and poop, and drop a load, and wipe your butt, and do a turd, and you're yesterday.
Diarrhea in the toilet bowl.
And eat your own poop.
And I like it when you eat your own poop.
But you're not good at it yet, okay?
I don't know why these kids are, uh, kids are freaking out.
You know what they should be worried about?
Toilet!
Toilet!
You're supposed to turn your mouth away from the mic.
That's going to sound really good.
I like your normal discipline of getting in front of the mic to speak, but on that specific occasion it should have been the opposite.
It's tricky.
Yeah, I have this tendency to like... Wear your mind on your sleeve?
I get closer to the mic when I scream toilet.
Okay, let's get into the show proper.
Let's watch this video that we already started watching, but let's... There he is, there's the kid.
See him?
Yep, let's start it over.
Okay, so, uh, briefly, I'll just set up this video.
This is a PTA.
It's not really a PTA meeting.
It's like a school safety meeting that involves parents and teachers.
Um, it's being held specifically about what to do over gun violence, etc.
And, uh...
Real quick, you guys ever been to a PTA meeting?
Absolutely not.
I did.
Yeah?
Sucks.
That's odd because when I think of PTA meetings I think of only the coolest people that I would love to be around in my free time.
Me too.
I go on a couple PTA meetings, but my kids are only in preschool, so none of them can handle the kick of a firearm, so we don't sweat about it.
My problem with PTA meetings is that you got parents and teachers, but no cops.
Right.
PTC meetings, dude.
Throw some cops in there and I'm gold for that love fest.
Dude, do you know how pissed I was the other day when I picked my kid up from school and she gave me a goddamn, like, Honorary Sheriff sticker because the goddamn cops were there and it's like, oh, sweetie, you know, I don't ever want you in the back of a cop car.
She was actually like kind of doing a baller move.
She was like, you're dead.
Put this on the back of your car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll never get pulled over again.
Yeah.
Okay, so there's... Holding the floor right now is a young boy with long hair, which becomes important later in the comments section.
Is it a boy?
I thought it was a... It's a boy.
Okay.
I thought it was a girl at first, too.
It's a boy.
Okay.
No judgment.
No, no.
And an older man, dad age, picture...
That character actor, I don't know his name, but the guy who was the pilot in Con Air?
Absolutely.
Like a long hair, mustache having...
Ex-Vietnam vet.
I guess he's still a Vietnam vet.
Rides one of those, like, cross-country Harleys.
Yeah, and he's got a band—he's definitely got, like, an American flag bandana on or something.
Okay, so that's—he's the one that's talking to this kid.
Well, hold on, his hat's very important.
Okay, what's on his hat?
His hat is leather, and it's a driver's cap, and it is turned backwards.
Yeah.
It's very important.
Alright, let's start this thing.
I'm considerably larger than you, okay?
If something happened, if I decided to attack you, it would take the cops three to five minutes to come here.
Probably ten if the traffic's bad.
What are you gonna do now?
What are you gonna do now?
Stop it!
Yeah, stop it.
That's illegal!
You can't pull a switchblade out on a kid in a school, that's insane!
You can't pull a switchblade out and get him to school, that's insane!
No, that's completely illegal!
Okay, so what happened was...
This biker dad, this like Christian biker dad for Trump, said to the kid, close up on the kid, in his personal space, he said, "I'm bigger than you." If something happens, cops, it's gonna take them 10, 15 minutes to get here.
And then he reaches into his pocket, And pulls out a knife, pulls out a folding knife, and holds it in the kid's face and says, what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do now?
And leans in on the kid, who's, let me remind you, a high school student.
Yeah.
And the kid like, puts his hands up and backs away, and then after like, two or three seconds, one person is like, hey stop!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Yeah, and then the rest of them, uh, join in.
The rest of the crowd is like, hey, that's bad!
No, no!
Don't do that!
Uh-uh!
So, the point of this is, he's trying to demonstrate that you need a gun to be able to shoot him.
Yep.
Because somebody can pull out a pocket knife and you would perceive that naturally as a threat, right?
The kid's probably got his own little Swiss Army knife in his pocket, you know?
I'm just saying, this is a pretty mixed metaphor.
Like, in a perfect world, this guy would be shot dead.
Like, in a perfect world, according to him.
In a good world, yeah.
Imagine him thinking about it.
He didn't clear it with the PTA people that I'm going to pull out a knife.
Well, we don't know that yet.
I can see that conversation.
I can see that guy going up to the principal and like, so listen, he thinks he's clearing it and all he's saying is, I'm going to keep it real later on.
I'm going to keep it real.
I'm going to show them life.
Can I show them a little bit of life?
I'm gonna do a demonstration later.
Demonstration.
I'm certified.
Certified.
Got my blue belt.
He's a Brooklyner.
I love this take, though.
Uh... So, like... The take is... Kill me.
Like, that's the take, right?
Like, I'm a bad guy doing this.
If a guy does this, then fucking kill him.
Right?
Like, that's what we're talking about here.
So I love that, first of all.
Second of all, I just love how dumb this argument is in general.
You know, the knife-V-gun argument.
This is a variation on the theme.
This is that meme Oh, what are you going to do?
Outlaw knives?
Or, oh, well we're just going to have mass stabbings.
This is that meme in real life.
This is like what the cult is all about, dude.
This is real American Facebook politics manifested in the world.
Manifested in IRL.
We're showing you this is reality.
And, I love this argument, aside from the whole, like, how, aside from the whole, no, guns are the same as knives, aside from that argument, I just love, like, what are you gonna do now?
Yeah.
Like, I, you could- That's it, that's all he says.
You could apply this, like, you want, you want, uh, universal healthcare, right?
Well, what if I stab you?
What are you gonna do now?
What if I cut your throat?
Your universal health care isn't going to save you now.
No.
It's applicable across the board.
Yeah.
You want a stop sign here?
Well, what if when you're stopped, I come up and shoot you in the face?
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
I'm going to die here.
He's right, though.
Yeah, if you shot me in the face, I would die.
It's nifty.
You said that in a perfect world, somebody would have stood up and just shot him right there, right?
Right.
It would have been great.
And that's what we're gonna see in the comment section for this thread.
Is weaving back and forth between... No, this guy was a smart man who did the right thing to... These people were too big of a puss... These people were too big of pussies not to murder him.
In this meeting.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, we're... I would hope that a lot of people out there... Um, when you see something bad happened... It's not good enough to just go... Stop it!
Hey, stop it!
Don't... No!
That part is genuinely funny.
Like... They think it's like a... He's like a puppy?
And not a human?
Yeah, no.
Bah!
I would push back a little bit on this.
Like... Okay, I was gonna save it for one of these comments.
But...
They know he's not attacking the kid.
Yeah.
Yes.
They're just like, hey, you're being a fucking asshole.
Yeah.
And you're like intimidating this kid for no reason.
Like this is frightening to everyone here because you're like pressing on this kid and you're trying to dominate him.
Stop it.
Yeah.
That's kind of what I see it as.
And then the realization that this dude is a fucking psychopath.
Right.
Also care.
And yeah, as soon as he reached into his pocket, uh, You know, you should have gone into Seal Team 6 mode and fucking neck-chopped him.
Right?
That's what we all should have done.
Yeah, exactly.
Or karate-chopped it out of his hand.
No, but like, what if it was some milquetoast dad doing that same shit?
Like, he wearing a fucking salmon polo.
He's got fucking short, blonde, curly hair, blue eyes.
Like, fucking six feet tall.
Beautiful man.
He has fucking belts up around his nipples.
Like, skinny guy.
Like, what if he did that?
Yeah.
Which one?
What if he did what?
What if he was like, what are you gonna do now?
And pulled a knife out of his pocket?
Would he get the same reaction as the biker dad?
Uh, do you mean in terms of people not attacking him?
Or like freaking out?
Like, no, don't!
Like, do you think they'd be like quicker to think like... I don't think it matters.
I think you're a natural human.
I think you're a natural human.
Like people...
We're gonna get to it in this comment section, but people, everybody thinks they're a superhero, everybody thinks they're John McClane, everybody thinks that they're gonna react the right way at a moment's notice, and like, no, even when you're a fucking cop and you've been trained day in, day out to react a certain way, it's just human nature to freeze up when something crazy like that happens.
Yeah, you see something jarring, your processing gets, like, hindered.
Thank you for that correction.
Let's get into this first comment.
Fred Burton says, he never pulled the blade out.
I could kill just about everyone there with a knife.
Great take.
So far, I'm on your side.
I want to kill everybody I see in this video with a knife.
But one person with a gun would have stopped me right away.
He was only showing a point.
Pun intended.
Everyone has something to kill with them most of the time.
No gun zones are a joke.
So Fred is just absolutely sure that he could kill everybody in this auditorium with a simple knife.
I don't know Fred Burton's background.
I'll take him at face value.
Same visual I get when I think of the meme.
Like, you know, mass stabbing.
Like, he's just running around, just like fucking chiving everybody real fast.
Which is funny.
It's actually a lot more like a scene from Kill Bill when the crazy 8-8 is attacking.
But all he has is a knife and he's just cutting heads off.
With his knife.
Left and right.
There's limbs flying everywhere that are coming at him.
But he's such an expert knife fighter.
That he's just handling like a champ.
That knife's only like three inches so like you're cutting you're like just half severing heads off and hanging off backwards.
No no no you know you're doing that but Fred's an expert and Fred is doing clean cuts.
Cool.
Fred is just punching his whole fist through the neck using his hand and knife.
Well, hold on.
So, one person with a gun would have stopped me right away.
So, Fred wants these people to have killed this man.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's exactly what he wants.
Killed by Dad.
Deanna Ortiz says, uh, he didn't open it.
But look how quick a situation could have changed.
Someone with a legal gun could have dropped him in his tracks.
So if you have a legal gun, and somebody pulls out a knife, you draw, and then as soon as they fold that blade open, pop pop!
Right in the chest.
Two in the chest.
If it's illegal gun, obviously, like, when you're in a school, there's like certain, like, trigger, like, it's like an infrared system kind of thing when you pass through a school zone.
Yeah, we're all familiar with this infrared school system.
You know it.
You know how it is.
And, um, it just, like, it stops you from shooting anything.
So, like, you can't be a hot gun.
You just gotta have a serial number on it.
And this is dumb.
Uh, Bill McCluskey says, Heard he removed the blade prior to doing this.
I love that, yeah.
Uh, yeah, I heard that, uh, he got permission from the cops to do this.
He took a little eyeglass case or eyeglass kit and unscrewed the blade.
I heard he went to the principal and got a signed note to do this and you guys are all freaking out for no reason.
I heard.
Yeah, no, just work backwards and try to figure out how this is justifiable, this action.
Oh yeah, well, uh, I heard that, uh, actually, he deliberately dulled the blade before going.
Like, he didn't remove the blade, it was just very, very dull.
Well, little did they know, it's still a threat, because now it's a fist pack.
And he could've just super-punched everybody there.
Yeah, dude, you get in trouble.
Rita D'Alessandro Crino says... Okay, so this is where we get into some stuff here.
Yeah, this is real weird.
Here we go.
Seriously, that kid needed a good swift kick.
And if you're, like me, wondering what kid she's talking about... She's talking about the kid who was, like...
Uh, intimidated and threatened by the grown man.
Yeah.
Uh, the kid needed a good swift kick.
He didn't pull a switchblade on a kid, it was closed, and he obviously failed to see the guy was trying to make a point.
You're talking about the long-haired kid?
Yes.
Yeah, that is... But this kid is trying to make it all about him.
Typical Snowflake.
So everybody in this comment section, I got a couple more comments like this.
I love Alex, he's got the whole thing.
I'm Italian, man.
We talk with our hands here, which is a good asset on a podcast.
It's more than your awful sound, like lip curl.
You have to fit into a whole different political spectrum.
Can we get real hands on here?
Yeah.
This is one of the thousands of voices I have.
It's the same one, but like your hands.
A real pod savant.
Actually, it's the same voice, but I move my hands and shape the sound waves before they hit the mic.
You bend them, you bend the waves.
It's just like running in front of the camera, back and forth, putting the mic, like doing hand dancing.
Um, so everybody thinks that the guy videotaping and the guy yelling is the kid from the beginning of the video.
He's all, meow!
When it's obviously a man's voice, like he might have a slightly higher register man's voice, but not to be a gender essentialist here.
It's a low-T dad.
It's salmon shirt, low-T dad.
Right, but it's still a dad.
You can tell that it's a dad.
The T is not there, but the dad still is.
It's not dad, it's just dad.
So people are thinking it's the kid yelling, He pulled a knife on a kid!
And they're really mad at this kid.
They want to beat this kid up.
I'm not fucking joking.
That's one of the craziest reactions that you see in all these deplorables groups and all these right-wing Facebook pages.
People literally want to hurt, openly on Facebook, want to hurt David Hogg.
They want to hurt the quote, skinhead lesbian.
I can't remember her name.
I barely remember David Hogg.
Sweet love.
She's going out there dealing with this shit.
They're like openly fantasizing about hurting children, which is amazing and just great and just, you know, the mark of a sound mind.
It's absolutely fucked.
Well, you know who hasn't been trying to hog the limelight?
Who hasn't been trying to cash it on their viralness?
You know who hasn't been doing that?
I think I do.
The word you were looking for is virility.
Oh, the virility.
Oh, yes.
They're virility points who hasn't been, you know, looking for new followers?
Jesus.
The kids that died.
Yeah, they're not trying.
They haven't gotten new followers.
Yeah, I'm sorry I interrupted with Jesus because it's clear that he's still looking for new followers.
Still looking for new followers.
That's kind of the whole point.
Painfully obvious, yeah.
No, that's a good point.
They did the right thing and died.
They didn't protest.
They just left.
Yeah.
They just left.
They did not walk out.
It's a callback to maybe a bonus episode?
They did not walk out.
I got sad.
I don't know.
Okay, next comment.
Joseph Gambale says, this- here we go.
This was the top comment on the post, by the way.
This had 49,000 likes.
And this was a post from like a local news organization that posted the video.
The guy's voice in the video needs to get punched in his twat.
It's a closed pocket knife, not a legal switchblade.
So 49 likes, 49,000 likes, excuse me.
Dude, how many, how many shares did this story get?
Do you remember?
Uh, it got like, it was like 11 million views.
I think probably a couple hundred thousand shares.
I just can't believe Facebook's content.
It's crazy.
Or the people that, it's just, the numbers.
It's like world star hip hop.
This is one of their arguments.
Like, you see all these trends in this comment section if you're like me and you're a psychopath and you go through all these comments.
It's a closed pocket knife.
The other one was, he didn't pull a switchblade on a kid.
It was closed.
This is their argument.
Their argument is that... I saw another comment.
I didn't write it down.
You don't know the definition of pulling a knife on someone because the blade was still closed.
It's like, no, the act of pulling a knife on somebody is literally pulling out a knife on somebody.
Like, yeah, he didn't do the final step of opening it and stabbing the kid, but he literally pulled a knife on a kid.
It's purely intimidation, it's scary, it's a weapon.
And it's the same like, uh...
What's the word I'm looking for?
Pedantic argument of, oh, well, uh, AR-15 doesn't actually stand for assault rifle.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, it's the same, like, what, what is, what are you talking about?
It's armor light!
It's Armor Light.
Welcome to Armor Light.
Can I help you?
Yeah, I had my gun out, but the safety was on.
I didn't draw on you, the safety was on.
The clip was in, but the safety was on.
Like, everybody's seen a cowboy movie, a quick draw means you have to pull the trigger too.
Yeah, you whip it out all quick from behind your back.
And then Joseph Gamale, there's a huge thread under this because this was the top comment.
He replies, you know, to his own comment.
LOL, if he really felt there was danger, why didn't he charge the suspect and neutralize the threat?
Dot dot dot dot dot.
That's right.
He didn't want to trip over his vagina lips.
Hell yeah, I love this one.
13,000 likes on that one.
Well, you know that's why women can't serve in the military, right?
Because they're always tripping over their vagina lips.
They're all hanging around.
I love this, yeah.
I think I know why he didn't charge the guy.
It's because he didn't want to stumble over his massive breasts.
He's a 99-year-old woman from Russia, and shout out to all our Russian listeners, and he's got a trip over his breasts if you try to sign him up for the military.
Like, if your vagina lips are longer, it means you're even more feminine?
I think is what he's saying?
Yeah, dude.
Like, you're an even bigger vagina if your lips are that long.
I think if your clit is really huge, you're also Super lady.
Yeah, I think so too.
Super lady, yeah.
Shout out to the large clits, you're super ladies.
What's up with it?
Yeah, the reason he didn't charge him is because he didn't want his feet to get tangled up in his diaphragm.
Probably, this lady.
Probably.
It falls out and he's just like, or she, or they, you know.
It's so big, it's like a frisbee.
I just like to imagine Joseph being at the PTA meeting and instead of yelling, stop it, yells, charge a suspect!
Neutralize the threat!
Neutralize the threat!
Please survive!
He's too far away to charge.
Someone closer can charge.
These people are so deluded.
These people actually believe Donald Trump when he says he would run into a building that's under fire.
I do love to think that I would smack that gun out of that bike dad's hand.
It'd be fun to do it.
Or, is it a gun?
No, it's a fucking knife.
It's a switchblade.
Did I say gun?
Yeah, that's because you're like a little snowflake, and you don't know the difference between a knife and a gun.
You're right.
You're fucking... No, you're not right, dude.
I refuse to say yeah to that, okay?
There were literally people... I'll get you.
I'll get you to say yeah to it later.
Alright.
When he tweeted that he'd go into the building, there were literally people quote tweeting him saying, like, finally a hero in office.
You know?
Yeah, no, that's amazing.
He's a real man.
Yeah, we got a real draft dodger in office.
Well, he knows how to dodge bullets.
Yeah.
From dodging the draft so much.
Oh, that's a real, like, liberal zinger there on Twitter.
I'm sure that happened.
I was thinking of dodging bullets, a face-down bandit.
Dodging... dodging... what is it?
Dodging glances?
Glances, yeah!
What episode was that?
It's an outtake from... fuck, I don't know.
Was it Trevi?
I don't know.
Oh, that's Matchbox 20.
Oh yeah, 20S.
Unwell, yeah.
Anyway, that was fun for the listener.
Well if there's anything you can say about old Trump is that he knows when to hold him.
He knows when to fold him.
He knows when to run into the building.
Okay, well I like most of what you said.
I don't like the fact that you called him old Trump.
He's young.
It's true.
For a 72 year old.
Young and healthy.
Healthy.
Full of injections.
Natalie Garris says, I wouldn't want my child to go to this school.
He didn't cause any trauma.
He was proving a point.
Again with that word point.
I should have keyword searched point to see how many instances of it there were in this thread.
We should just call this episode Point Break.
That's so good.
It's so good.
That's a great title.
It's better than protest.
No, I'm just kidding.
Protest is so good.
I want him guarding my children hands down because...
Because he clearly has a brain!
That's what I look for in a good security guard, is a brain.
Brain.
This guy's inbox is flooded with like, hey, I don't know what you do, but can you come bodyguard my family?
Can you come to my kid's school and stay and watch, please?
And he replied like, gladly, for free.
I'll provide my own knife.
I'll volunteer my services.
Because he's an unemployed vet who's addicted to heroin.
People were saying he was like a cop.
People were like, oh, I think he said he was a cop.
I heard.
In the video.
I heard he's a cop.
I think I heard him say it.
You know, the last person I want pulling a knife on my kid is a cop.
I will lose my job.
I'll go to jail.
Prison, actually.
Yeah, prison for sure.
Earl, okay, so this, like I said, this was posted by a, like, local news Facebook page.
It was, like, mostly fluff pieces that I could tell, like, reporting about local school teams, like, school football teams or soccer teams, like, little friendly shit, you know?
But they had posted this video because it was in, you know, on their beat in New York City, or not New York City, New York State.
That guy is a Brooklyner though, man.
He's definitely from Brooklyn.
So, I went to this page and people were reviewing the Facebook page.
You know how you can review a page?
People were reviewing TBR News Media just angry as hell about this video and about the people in the audience of this video.
Earl Norman, Says, who was the pathetic, weak twat voicing his delusional concerns in the background?
One star.
Jesus Christ.
Fucked.
Like, like this video is their product.
Like as, as a, as a news, uh, as what?
What are they called?
A newsroom.
A media outlet.
As a media outlet, this is what you do is you make videos and you release them to the public and they get to decide whether the video is good or bad and then they rate you based on that.
Well, this is one of those like, um, you know, investigative reporting things.
That guy is actually a reporter doing an act and he's like, I'm here to show you how soft parents are these days.
Got a bunch of snowflakes in the schools and we're going to call them out.
Okay.
So if it's gonzo journalism, is he doing it like this is political gonzo journalism, right?
So which side is he on?
The truth side.
Okay.
You sure he's not on the liberal side?
I'd say he's like a radical centrist.
Yeah.
DJ Pac-Man says fear-mongering media, terrible coverage with an idiot as an editor.
One star.
Laura A. Bunkow says, The idiot that filmed this?
It's not a switchblade, moron!
Also, you are so busy whining you are missing the point.
He's trying to show how easy it is to bring a knife into the school.
This kid's a moron.
One star.
One star review.
He's just trying to show them how dumb they are by bringing a knife in.
It's like whenever I go to PTA meetings, I always get there a little bit early because it takes a while to get to the metal detectors.
Yeah.
And the pat-downs.
Yeah, I know.
Joe Mosqueda, it's a little too close to a certain place of worship for my taste, says, I think the fathers in that PTA meeting should have punched that pussy ass punk who thinks that that was a switchblade.
Pussies like him cowers in a classroom and waits to be shot.
Don't you want to be in the room when the guy pulling the knife out is just like left alone but the guy that calls it a switchblade just gets knocked out?
What the fuck?
Let me quote, by the fathers in that PTA.
So they all should have ganged up and simultaneously done a super punch.
On the pussy-ass punk for calling it a switch- It's not a switchblade!
You fucking idiot!
I want you to die now for calling it a switchblade!
What a fucking shitty kid who, like, can't even, like, or whoever- This reminds me of, like- Can't even know- They don't even know what a knife is.
It reminds me of, I don't know if this actually exists, but I've read works of fiction where they talk about the animal kingdom and how if there's an abnormality in the calf that's being born, the herd will just stamp it.
Stamp it to death.
Yeah, absolutely.
Instinctually, it's weirding them out, so they just kill it.
Bad for the herd, bad for the herd.
Right.
That's what's going on here.
These people hear a high-pitched voice, a slightly high-pitched voice, and they're like, oh, that needs to die.
Whatever that is.
It's making me really uncomfortable.
It's gotta go.
We gotta call all the low-T people.
Men.
So there's only high-T.
And again, they think it's a kid.
Yeah.
They think it's a kid.
And they want to kill it.
If I was there... That's what the neckbeards say.
If I was there, I would have gone up to that low-T dad and looked him in the eyes and said, oh, you call that a knife?
And then pulled out a giant buck knife.
A giant sheath combat knife.
One comment I didn't write down was, what if he had had a sword?
What would you have done then?
Holy fuck.
What if you pulled a sword out of his pocket?
Well, I would have had to pull my sword out for sure.
Just whip your dick out.
Right?
Oh yeah, that's what I meant.
I think kids should be allowed to bring swords to school.
Yeah.
I'm okay with that.
High schoolers at least.
Okay, let's move on to the next post.
This is a man confronting his son's principal in her office.
Let's listen in.
You don't need to be here.
You don't need to be here.
I want to speak with you privately alone.
I'm not sure who you are.
I'm a student's father.
Okay, just your name?
No, I'm not giving you my name.
I want answers.
I can answer.
I don't really know who you are.
I'm not sure if... I'm a parent of one of your students.
Okay.
It was just great.
This is being recorded also.
Okay?
Okay, I've already contacted a lawyer.
Okay, I want to know who authorized these kids to go out and leave class and when I wasn't even notified about it.
Okay?
Yep.
I'm not sure who you are.
You've stated you're a parent so I'll give you just the information that as our school planned For who knew what.
We anticipated something.
We did not know.
Sixth graders?
Sixth graders.
Why do sixth graders make decisions?
So if I can continue.
So as I said, given that we didn't really know if there would be anything, we need to be prepared.
Wait a minute.
When do 12-year-olds make decisions?
You're an adult, you're in school, you're supposed to teach my child.
You don't influence my child in any which way.
Democrat, liberal, Republican, whatever it is.
I want it out of the school system.
So why did my son have to sit in that class, because he didn't leave, but why wasn't I notified this was going to happen?
We didn't know it was going to happen either.
Then who authorized it?
I want to know who authorized you to tell the teachers that if they want to leave, it's okay.
We're just, like, looking at this man's crazy dick right now.
It looks like he's wearing a cup.
It looks like he's wearing an athletic cup in sweatpants.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a round-ass bulge.
But the thing is that he actually has, like, a semi right now.
That's what I was gonna say.
He's got a boner the size of a semi-truck right now.
That's what that phrase means.
You're not gonna answer my question, are you?
You're not gonna answer my question, are you?
Who authorized it?
There is no such authorization.
Then who let it happen?
I'm sure that you'll have to be aware that if a student chose to leave, that's their choice.
What do you mean that's their choice?
They're 6th graders!
I won't restrain 6th graders.
You intend to 12-year-olds?
I do not restrain 6th grade students if they chose to leave class.
That is not what we do.
You just let them leave?
So if this wasn't a protest and this wasn't happening, you would let the kids leave?
I would make sure they were safe.
No, you let the kids leave.
Um, they did not leave.
I'm saying if this was not a protest yesterday across the country, okay, about gun control or whatever it is, you would have, and it's not that, and you would have let the kids just leave.
I'm sorry, leave, if a group of Okay, so I think he just says right there, or she just says, they didn't leave the school site.
Yeah.
Did you hear that?
Yeah.
He kind of talks over it.
It's very important.
It's an important part of this.
So, this man enters the principal's office, demanding to speak to her, refusing to give his name to her.
Which, that tripped me the fuck out, because it's like, dude, you're going into a fucking school, And she's like, uh, you're a parent of a child.
What child?
And he's like, I'm not going to tell you.
It's like immediately get him the fuck out of here.
This was a live post in the deplorables group that has a 3000 likes, 14,000 shares and about live with this.
Oh, I don't know if it was live actually.
Um, and uh, 900 or so comments about a thousand comments.
Um, He goes in there, demanding to speak to her, irate, won't give her his name, and something the listener won't know, and I'm not making fun of him for this, but this is what he looks like.
He's got a very lazy eye.
He's like extremely cock-eyed, I guess you would call it, right?
He looks like he was punched in his head.
So, he looks like he's blind.
I'm not making fun of him for this, but this man enters her office looking Two different directions and yelling at her over a protest that she didn't organize, that his son didn't even participate in.
Right.
I wanna see that boy.
Do you know who he looks like?
Do you guys remember, it was one of those oddities that happened in the late 90s, the guy, sorry to shoot on a guy, but the guy with no face, do you remember the guy with no face?
And they gave him a prosthetic face?
You know Gibson?
It's like a Ripley's type thing.
No, no, in real life, he had no face, he was born with no face.
He's like the first guy that got a face transplant.
They gave him a prosthetic face and then a face transplant.
This guy looks like that guy after the surgery.
He's not pretty.
It's real interesting.
Yeah, it's it would just this time this principal did a magnificent job Yeah of answering this man's questions under duress while being recorded knowing full well that whatever she said would be what the school would be held responsible for.
Yeah I can't she did a very good job.
So his main question his main uh assertion is that somebody organized the the staff organized the protest and then let the kids walk out or instructed the kids to walk out and his question that he's asking her is who gave the kids permission to walk out?
And her answer is, basically, nobody authorized these kids to walk out.
We knew they were going to walk out.
We knew that something was gonna happen.
We prepared the best we could.
Legally, I am not allowed to grab a kid and throw him to the ground to prevent him from leaving the classroom.
When your student is tardy from high school, it is not because the school let them be tardy.
It is because they did not go to school.
It is because they left campus.
Second of all... Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it looks like him.
Second of all, what he's likely referring to is that there was a 17 minutes of silence or honoring of the students, the victims of the Parkland shooting.
And aside from that, some students may have actually left campus to go protest in the streets or whatever.
Continue walking further.
His kid didn't even participate in the 17 minutes and stayed in class.
And he's still upset about it.
For the record, your kid sucks.
Well, maybe his kid knew there would be consequences if he participated in a 17-minute honoring of these victims.
Well, when my dad wanted to spank me, what I would do is I would attack and I would stop the threat.
Well, maybe that's why this dad's wearing a cup in this interview.
Exactly.
I didn't even notice this sweatpants bulge until several people in the deplorable section were like, why are we staring at this guy's dick the whole time?
Man, how did they know?
They were like, they know.
Well, you, I mean, you can see it on screen if you're paying attention, but I just, you know, I was, I was, I had my ears craned for the important dialogue.
I watched the first three minutes of it twice and I did not notice that I was looking at dick.
So the whole comment section, basically, we're going to get into specific comments, but the gist of it is...
Okay hold on, I want to say something real quick before I do that.
Hold up now.
So his argument is that you should have stopped these kids from protesting.
You should have prevented these kids from leaving their classrooms.
And she's like, there's like 30 kids in each classroom.
There's like, how many hundreds of kids at this school?
What do you want me to do to them?
To prevent them?
Grab them all?
Like, what the fuck?
So the previous post, the argument was, I want that long-haired kid to kill this biker dad.
This long-haired kid needs to kill this biker dad with a knife.
This long-haired kid needs to have a gun so he can kill bike dad.
This argument is...
No, I want that cop to kill my kid if he leaves the classroom.
If he tries to leave the classroom.
It totally is.
It's like the flip side of it.
He's like, but Mike... Don't realize it at all, but that's exactly what he's saying, yeah.
So he's like, shaping it like...
Around his child like his kid would never leave the classroom or any kids like no you need to stay in there Or else are we dire consequences.
Yeah, absolutely.
There's like a fucking guy with it with an armored light Well, it's 45 outside That's like, wow, that's like three times as powerful as an Armor Light 15.
It's three times as big, too.
It's all huge as fuck.
But you stand outside the classroom with that shit and shoot all the kids.
Like we've said, though, is that it's a lot of pressure for teachers to have that responsibility on their shoulders, right?
So what we should do is when class is in session, we have motion detectors, and those motion detectors are hooked up to guns that are pointed at doors.
And when you leave, you have to have the right bathroom pass or else you get shot.
Better yet, you either A, just chain them to the desks, or B, set up one of those cool old-time pulley systems.
Yeah, like a Rube Goldberg contraption.
Kinda like a Rube Goldberg, but more... Simpler?
Yeah, a little simpler than that.
Literally, you tie a little... It's like a home improvement system.
Yeah, yes.
Or like Mousetrap.
Home Alone.
Mousetrap's still too Rube Goldberg.
But yeah, you tie a fishing line to their fucking ankle and tie it to the trigger of a revolver.
Okay, yeah, I am.
Something a little more old-timey.
Or even a grenade, because like that way...
You know, it's not just you, it's your people.
We all have responsibilities to the people around us.
That's what this is about.
So what you do is you cement or super glue or somehow adhere permanently a bunch of grenades to the door of the classroom.
Just a bunch of them.
Like to the floor, like right by the door jam.
A bunch.
One for each kid in that class.
And the fishing line to each one of those tabs, pull tabs.
I love it.
Can you imagine?
I love it.
So basically that feeling of You let these kids protest because you did not kill them in in trying to prevent them from protesting.
It sort of informs this whole comment section and informs all these just fucking disgusted dads and uh yuck dads disgusted dads and like malevolent moms who are just who are just irate because they let these kids protest and the reason The reason they're so confused by this, I was thinking about this.
He set his can down, he's gonna tell us.
The reason they're so confused by what happened is because they've never experienced real politics.
They don't know how real politics actually works, they don't know what direct action is, they don't know what protesting is, and they're so confused at How could people just get together and do something?
It's bewildering.
It goes against everything they know and the way they know how to express politics, which we'll get into later, the proper way to express politics.
They think it shouldn't be allowed.
That's not allowed!
You're not allowed to unionize.
You're not allowed to do politics in a group.
What's a union?
They really think that this other entity knows what's best for us.
No, no, if you follow the rules, listen, you don't end up in prison if you just follow the rules.
If you just follow the rules, life works out for you.
Well, on a serious note, maybe we're looking at a new greatest generation, you know what I mean?
Like, maybe these kids are going to do some fucking sweet shit.
I mean, I feel that way.
I feel like this is definitely giving them a taste of their own power.
Because it was effective in several different ways.
This protest was awesome.
And we've already kind of given our opinions about gun control.
I think we came to the conclusion that Cops should have their guns taken away, and every citizen should get a free gun.
I think that's what we kind of came to the conclusion of as a podcast.
Sure, but I'm in the camp that, like, I'm in the camp that, like, just the cops don't have guns, and we don't have guns at all, and then, like, we get attacked, and then we, what do we do?
See, that's the thing, we don't think through things.
Like, the real deal is, um, so the cops get guns, right?
But we get the bullets.
Right.
They can have bullets.
And we have to work together in order to shoot people.
And then cops have to go like, Citizen, I need a bullet!
And you have to carry, and then it works.
Citizen!
Citizen!
Hand me ammunition.
And the best part about this too is like, this is just how people treat the education system and teachers and um, teachers and principals.
Do you realize how often teachers get yelled at because kids fail classes?
Why'd you let my kid fail?
Your kid didn't do any homework.
Your kid did terrible on tests.
I had to kick a kid out of class every third day.
She's trying to explain to him in this conversation that like...
I didn't like we didn't let them protest like they made the choice to protest and he's like how are 12 or 13 year olds making a choice and it's like well they they do it every day like in a thousand different ways like they're you know they're they're human beings with thoughts and and uh you know agency re-agency yeah yeah and because what she could have done is just gone yeah dude like Why would I do that?
You're just going to treat me like an asshole anyways.
You're going to give me a two-star review on Yelp.
I'm not going to give you good service.
It's so funny when he's like, I'm going to sue you.
She's like, oh, OK.
OK, good.
She doesn't say good, but she's like, OK, finally, some closure to this fucking conversation.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Please sue me.
Can I talk to your lawyer now?
We can resolve this in the court system.
Just kidding.
But you could think that.
Yeah, they're just totally bewildered by the fact that students just did this, and they're like, how did they do it?
How did it happen?
I don't understand.
I mean, like, I went and voted.
I did politics, and I'm not getting my way right now.
Real quick, did we even say his name?
Because his name is pretty important.
Just for the record, the man's name is John R. Gun.
With two N's.
The R stands for rifle.
And he is the real problem with toxic masculinity.
Because he's a goofy looking, doofy looking man that I don't think anybody would want to fight.
But he's got a big ol' hog on him.
So he has this confidence he doesn't deserve.
I maintain that that's an athletic cup and he was prepared to go toe-to-toe with this principle.
No, I think that he's packing some heat.
And that's why he's so confident.
And that's the problem with toxic masculinity.
Masculinity.
Oh my god, get off the guy's page because I want to explore all the shitty things he posted.
Okay, so first comment on this.
John Argun says, My son stayed.
I was pissed.
Again, I'm not quite sure what you have to be upset about, John.
Your son is going to die based on Darwinism, but whatever.
Michael Kendall Harvey, love this take, says, I wish I had a child.
I would sue the school.
What the fuck?
Here's A and F, like two separate, completely far points away something.
Where's the T?
Well, it's not here because this is a soy boy.
Yeah, see this isn't fine.
It's not ATF.
Poor Michael Kendall Harvey, old MKH, he's been trying to have a kid for a long time.
The problem is you just need a willing partner.
This is just a long con on the school system.
One day I'm gonna have a kid and sue that school.
I wish I had a child and then that child died in a school shooting so that I could have moral authority on this conversation.
Like what?
What are you talking about?
He's just gonna teach his kid to slip in a puddle at school and then go.
I'm waiting for that.
Yeah, he's gonna piss on the floor and slip in it.
I'm waiting for that.
I'm waiting for the contrarian parent of a victim.
I'm waiting for that.
Well, listen, my kid died in a shooting and I'm totally cool with what's happening.
That'll never happen.
I mean, someone's gonna try it.
If it does happen, that's a real... I think the closest you get to that is don't politicize this event.
I've heard parents say stuff like that, but it's mostly I think, uh, a response to invasive news media trying to get an interview with them and they're like, we don't want to talk about it.
That's true, that's totally true.
We don't want to talk about it.
But I am waiting for the guy that's gonna be like, well I mean they're actors anyway, no one can prove I don't have a kid that goes to them.
No, that guy will be an actor.
That's when we'll know that truly they're actors.
Let me see how we're doing on time.
We're at an hour, about.
Yeah, there's some bullshit up top, so.
Donna Kathleen says, Wow, I was pissed when my two teenagers were told by their principal it was okay for all of them to, and like the angry snorting emoji.
The smoking weed emoji.
Leave, no it's like the bull.
It's like the bull snorting.
That's the one I use when I'm blowing loud, like that's the one I use.
That's the one I use when I do it to somebody.
Oh, that's tight.
Oh yeah, I do it too.
I do that with the flex arm.
But I do that one when I'm like...
Smokin' weed.
I just type it a bunch.
I just put in the notes on my iPhone, just type it out a bunch.
Just for yourself.
I use it when I'm real piffed.
Right.
Dat piff, huh?
Leave if they choose to.
They said they just went to a friend's house.
She's talking about her kids.
They said they just went to a friend's house.
Censored emoji.
But sixth graders!
Hell no!
I would have ran there screaming!
Yes, I'd get a fucking lawyer.
Someone should lose their fucking job!
Oh my god.
This lady should not be a parent.
I love this.
So, I was pissed when my two teenagers were told by their principal it was okay for all of them to leave.
Yeah.
They just went to friends' houses.
This is like a really specific version of, oh, we were studying at Mark's.
Yeah.
Oh, we were protesting.
This is like, oh, the principal told us we could leave.
And then we went over to Mark's house, and we studied for the test tomorrow.
Is she the source of all this bullshit?
Someone's the source of this bullshit.
I bet it's some kid, some shitty kids.
Yeah, I'm saying these kids just ditched class and told their mom the principal told them it was okay.
I mean, there were some kids... Never mind, fuck it.
Well, I don't know if you guys know, but when I was in high school, I ditched for like a week and I was like, I'm walking out for 9-11.
All week long.
Hey, instead of walking out, why don't you walk up to those Saudi nationals and explain to them why America is so great?
Hey, you talk to your cousins.
Why didn't you walk up to those plane- that plane?
Dude.
Why didn't you walk up to those, uh, towers?
Honestly, honestly, only because I live on the West Coast.
Had I been anywhere around there, you bet your ass- It would've been a long walk.
If my kid was in those buildings, I would've sued.
That's no excuse, dude.
You should've- You should've been there, dude.
God, I wish my kid would've died in 9-11.
So I could- So I could sue New York.
I would- I would sue, uh...
Sue New York.
I'd sue the planes, too.
Sue New York, New York!
I'd sue the pilot of that plane.
Yeah.
I want money for what you did.
You read this one, Matt.
Alright.
Thank you for making it big, because my eyes are so bad.
All right.
Nicole Templeton says, "The only thing that my 12-year-old decides is when he asks the shit.
Period." That was worth every take.
Period.
The only thing my 12-year-old decides is when... Toilet!
Oh, wait, uh... Wait!
Toilet!
I have to change my 12-year-old's diaper!
The only thing that my 12-year-old decides is, uh... Oh yeah!
Toilet!
He just yells.
My 12-year-old yells at me toilet because I didn't potty train him because I'm from some backwoods fucking place.
My 12-year-old lacks any decision-making capabilities whatsoever!
Please advise when to change my 12-year-old's diaper!
This is your argument that you're literally not allowing your child to make any decisions because that's the best for them.
That's what's best for them.
You make them hold your pocket while they go to the fucking bathroom.
Her relationship with a 12-year-old is so mature to the point where when she says, hey, we're gonna leave, you should probably use the bathroom, he gets to say, no.
No, I'm okay.
I think we're gonna make it to wherever we're going.
That's my choice, Mom.
And I'm like, literally raising a totally incompetent, utterly helpless human being to own the libs.
I like what you said, though.
That's a real mature way to be as a kid.
If you're an eight-year-old kid and you're like, no, I can wait.
They're just sitting there doing the potty dance, but they can wait.
And I can't wait.
Seriously, I haven't pissed myself since My early 20s.
Mid-20s?
You got your mom's permission to do that.
I just saw him piss his pants a little right now.
Uh-oh.
Better take care of it.
Yeah, she's not going to raise a snowflake.
She's going to make sure her son has no decision-making capabilities whatsoever so that he does not turn into a whiny, helpless liberal.
Next one, Jared Kone says, um, excuse me.
It's just Kone, probably, dude.
As a Jew.
That's not how Kone's spelled, though.
It might be Kahone's.
That's it.
Jared Cajones says, and excuse me, should have slapped that cunt.
Happy face.
You had to say it though so you could get the full effect of how shitty this guy is.
This guy looks like, I don't know, the bassist for Devil Driver?
Fuck.
He's got like a skull cap beanie on.
He's in the front seat of his car.
He's got a black hoodie.
He's got a very like neatly maintained beard.
He's got a loose chain.
He's wearing those sunglasses that are like the operator sunglasses that I think we've talked about on this show before.
They're those sunglasses that are just They're always terrible.
They're the least stylish.
They're less stylish than 90s Oakleys.
They always look generic.
You could have paid $400 for these sunglasses, and they sell them for $400 to soldiers and cops, but they still look like you bought them in a gas station.
Yeah, but these are the mid-range ones that are the Lokes from the gas station, but they have an Orange County Choppers badge on the side.
No, seriously, like that's what all those sunglasses look like and they charge like $400 for them or something.
I think there will be an ironic sunglass movement with these types of glasses.
Oh, it's happening.
These are like the sunglasses that Tommy Wiseau wears.
Absolutely.
Oh yeah, fuck yeah.
Like this dude with his like loose chain and his neatly cropped beard and his beanie and his sunglasses, he looks like a European gangster is trying to be an American biker.
Yeah.
He reminds me of this 90s iteration of Wolverine in the comic books.
Oh, that's like a lot of clout you're giving him, but I'm with it.
Which iteration?
What do you mean?
Explain.
It's like, let me think.
Why does he remind you of it?
Because of the skull cap thing he's wearing.
Yeah.
It was either like the old, the really old ones, like the first generation X-Men where they had those like, where they, like one of them wore a black skull cap.
I swear to God.
I believe you.
Or it was like, there was a nineties, like when he went all crazy X-Factor mutant on everybody.
And like, he was wearing like a blue one.
You're doing the right voice, but the wrong character.
It's the right voice because it's definitely like Macho Man.
NWO era Macho Man.
Yeah, you're right.
For sure.
That's way better.
And he's also got his cover photo is one of those like fake old-timey Disneyland cowboy photo shoots.
Calico Ghost Town.
Yup.
Yeah, exactly, like, which, you know, nothing says, like, competent adult, like, wanting to be a cowboy.
Like a Knott's Berry Farm costume shoot.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Let's move on.
Sean Hummel says, wow, she is lying her ass off, referring to the principal.
Nathan Johnson replies, yeah, you could tell straight up.
Sean Hummel again says, hell yeah, cop would have put her ass in cuffs.
I love this dialect.
For the lying.
Officer, what did I do?
Well, you're a lying piece of shit.
We're taking you to the big house.
I can tell you're lying, ma'am.
Spread them.
We're just, we're talking about, like, a protest.
Like, I didn't know I was under oath in this conversation, but no, cops, yeah, it's against the law.
A true agent knows that you can hear the treble in their voice fluctuates, and that's how you know they're lying.
Well, you can tell as soon as their... yeah, exactly.
As soon as their range goes over a certain level, they're lying.
So, like, women, lying.
Low-T men, lying.
And that's why we have to kill them.
That's the first thing they teach you in operator school.
And when normal, like, high-T men are talking, their voices go a little low-T for a second.
When they're lying.
Yes, precisely.
I'll have to watch for that.
Watch out.
Ralph Bruce Smith says, you know it's sad because it's like the principal and the teacher's hands are tied.
I agree with this father.
I would be pissed.
I'm also a substitute teacher and I've had kids just walk out even though you're scared to death thinking oh my god what if something happens to him but if you put your hands on him And try to stop them, then you're in trouble.
I had a sixth grader tell me he would cut my fucking throat if I walked by him when I asked him what his problem was.
He got up and ran out of class yelling profanities at me, disrupting my class, and there was nothing I could do because if I would have grabbed him, I would have gotten in trouble.
Our society has gotten totally out of hand.
Children need discipline.
And children need to be taught, not indoctred with, the bullshit from some of these Democrats.
They're told they don't have to do the Pledge of Allegiance, they will sit there and say fuck off to the teacher, it's just pathetic, is what our society is letting our young children do.
Oh my god.
Dude, breathe it in.
That was amazing.
Dude, this shit is fucking hilarious.
My first immediate take is I can't believe Ralph Bruce Smith II is only a substitute teacher.
This fucking dweeb.
All those words he's got in him seems like he should be a regular old teacher.
He's like, look, I can- It's fuckin' Dweeb, man.
He's like, I can manage to make a large sentence.
Literally not one punctuation mark in that entire screed from this substitute teacher.
He didn't say he subs English English a really good point.
You don't have to know periods if you don't teach English There's the autocorrect like like like shit in there though like for I'm you know, but you're your um But like yeah, this guy's teaching at like Cajon or something like that.
Oh you think he's a substitute?
Cajon teacher because he's got those Cajones Cajon is like a is a is a is a It's a school in San Bernardino that's pretty fuckin' rough, you know?
Uh, high school.
So, like, he's teaching at, like, a really rough high school, and I think it's funny.
I lost my shit when I saw that he was, like, intimidated by a sixth grader.
I love it.
I told him he was gonna cut his fuckin' throat.
I fuckin' love that shit.
Yeah, it's great.
It makes me happy.
I will tell you that, um, I've been in two very polar high schools when I was in high school.
One was a low-income school in the low-income area.
The other one was rather well-off and had a different demographic.
And I will tell you that the rich white kids are way shittier than substitutes.
Yeah?
That's a fact.
Rich white kids are so much shittier than substitutes.
Dan, was I racist by saying what I said?
No, but you weren't wrong.
I mean, I'm sure it should happen.
You weren't racist.
You just watched Dangerous Minds too much.
No, can I say why I said that?
Sure.
I used to to come down to hang out.
Okay, so I grew up on the mountain That's what a mountain Matt and it's like Arrowhead area and I would take the Marta which is Mountain Area Regional Transit Authority or whatever it's like like the tree, you know the little small bus the transit bus down the mountain and get picked up by like Mackie or like Jacob or something like that friends of the podcast and I
one time this car uh with like two people and we're like hey you go to cajon and i was like no and and and they're like said something to me and then just fucking like threw a bunch of shit at me and i was just like okay that was pretty fucking crazy oh there's like a lot of yeah there's a lot of like uh violence at cajon that's not you know oh so we got on a limb but those two people don't want to be racist those two
Two people were like substitute teachers that just left Cajon and they wanted to see if you were a student from Cajon so they can throw things at you.
One time I was substitute teaching and a kid walked by and told me he would push my shit in and I couldn't touch him.
He just left the class.
Dude, one time in high school, I got kicked out of class when I had substitute, and this fuckin' dweeb wrote all my- I don't even remember what I did, but he wrote, inciting a riot.
Oh yeah.
And that was my favorite!
He's like, the black boy incited a riot in school.
Well, I definitely wasn't like, the only black boy in that class.
Oh, okay.
One thing- But yeah, it was crazy.
You were the most woke, though.
One thing in that video that I- the brief thing that I thought was funny was, uh...
When the dude is talking to the principal he's all, I don't I don't care if it's if it's democrat or liberal.
Yeah.
Or republican.
Yeah.
He forgot there was like that it was impossible that a republican could be a teacher.
Well it's also you know the three-party system we have and like that's why the republicans are outnumbered.
All right uh Let's- and yeah, they're told they don't have to do the Pledge of Allegiance, so they will just sit there and say fuck off.
Like, they literally don't have to do the Pledge of Allegiance.
Like, I don't know what this argument is trying to- Yeah, which is fucking sick.
Every kid that sits for the Pledge rules.
Yeah.
I love- this substitute teacher just fucking hates his students.
I sat- I sat for the Pledge in fucking high school, so that's like- and I'm just trying to get my cool points up.
Wow, you're just juicing it now.
You're just running the board.
You were already so cool.
03 to 06.
Three years I was in high school.
Cool, dude.
But... The pledge.
You sat for the pledge.
Not me.
I used to shame kids that wouldn't stay under God.
But I still got kicked out by a substitute because he was a fucking dweeb.
Billy Alfeld says, or no no no, Gary Burke says, nice job, make them pay.
Teach him by not doing anything, because I can't do anything.
Just like, make them pay.
Make them all pay.
Isn't that like a quote from a serial killer?
Make them pay?
Pretty sure.
So isn't that like written on somebody's walls in pig's blood?
Most definitely.
Billy Alfeld says... or Billy Alpha says... Alpha Alpha.
God forbid there were some psychopath out there in the wait, parentheses, wanting to make a name for themselves.
Wow, using the gender-neutral pronoun there.
Interesting.
It was very well publicized on the news, talking about the walkout.
What if said psychopath sat with a rifle waiting for them to come out?
Or worse yet, warming up their truck or car?
Because it'd be harming the environment as well as preparing to do a mass murder.
If safety truly is the number one priority, hold an organized assembly to show your respect for the 17 children.
Okay, leaving aside the fact that I think that's exactly what they did.
Yeah.
Was hold an organized assembly.
What were you gonna say?
Uh, someone should report Billy Alpha to the authorities.
Yeah, uh, this was a very common thought process.
A lot of people getting into the heads of a mass shooter.
Yeah.
That's a rough, rough, rough thing to see.
And it's it's I think a lot of these people like who like the person who makes that statement or has this genius thought about oh well if they're all walking out together well that's just like shooting fish in a barrel.
Yeah.
That person like probably I think obviously doesn't have kids and has never had to like pick one up from a school when school lets out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it literally happens every single fucking day?
Every single day.
Yes.
Yeah.
The only time when these kids are presenting a target is when they protest.
Yeah, and it's all the kids, not just the woke ones.
Not just the ones whose parents won't yell at them when they come home.
Dude, people thought they were so clever for thinking about this take.
Well, hey, if there's a bunch of kids, they're gonna get shot.
I really- you guys didn't get the weird vibe from this comment that I got?
Like, this guy's a fucking- wants to kill people?
I- a little bit.
I just- I'm numb to it now, I guess, because I saw it in a couple different places.
And plus, I think a lot of the people on this do feel that way, but they, like, you know, get their rocks off in, like, you know, video games or something weird like that, but they get way too into it.
I hope.
They're the ones who are yelling slurs at you over the headset.
Same ones.
Those 11-year-olds.
Dave Thomas, oh wow, founder of Wendy's.
Here he is.
Says... Give me a double stack, Dave.
I went to the principal of my six-year-old school and told her that my kid's teacher is telling her that Donald Trump is a robot and he is not our president!
I was livid, but my daughter said she knows he's not a robot and she knows he is our president.
It left her confused that the teacher would lie to her blatantly.
I was pissed.
I told her just because someone doesn't like someone else, it's up to her to choose who she likes and doesn't, and she's freaking six years old!
Politics does not need to be discussed in kindergarten, and her liberal banter should be saved for the teacher's lounge.
I mean this, this uh, this comment didn't really surprise me because if his patties didn't give it away we already knew he was a square.
Fuck There it is Give me one of those squares Dave I'll take one.
I think this comment amounts to a hill of beans that might be used in chili at Wendy's.
With a finger in it?
This is a real Baconator of a comment.
I am just salivating for one of those spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy's.
This is getting a little hot.
We should probably foster down a little bit.
No, we should get a sponsorship from Wendy's.
Your six-year-old told you that the teacher was telling her that Donald Trump is a robot and not her president, which totally, I'm sure, really happened.
Luckily, her daughter is intelligent and knows that Trump is not a robot And knows that he really is our president, and I can't believe a teacher would lie to her and say that Donald Trump is not our president, because when she takes that president's quiz, she's gonna get it wrong!
And that's exactly how you know this is a fake fucking comment, because it's just so fucking stupid.
That's not how a little kid would react to being told that the president's a robot.
They would just be like, oh, okay, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even if this really happened, like, kids are smart.
And the kid was probably like, yeah, like he said this, but like, dad, I know he's not a robot.
And I know he's our president.
And he was probably bummed about the whole thing.
Dad, I'm not scared.
I know he's not a robot.
I know he's actually the president, so chill, Dad.
Yeah, what's more likely that this six-year-old has the recall ability and the ear for phrases that these liberals use?
Like, oh, he's a robot.
He's not our president.
Like a child recognizes those commonly used phrases that are just thrown around the schoolyard and then is able to recall them later when she tells her dad, founder of Wendy's, Dave Thomas, that Donald Trump's not really a robot.
But the sad thing is that the real truth here is that Dave's young sweet daughter has not been educated enough on the advancements in cyborg technology.
She's still looking for a Tin Man, but we have advanced robotics here right in her face and she's like, they're getting away with it.
That's the real sad truth here.
I think we should make it, uh, you know, like a lot of people, a lot of people are being politically divisive right now, right?
Like, oh, we should, we should ban Republicans.
We should, we should jail Republicans.
Well, I think that we, what we should do is we should provide Republicans with a lifelike doll that simulates Donald Trump so that they can, Practice their ideology on it in the safety of their own home.
And not actually harm the world.
That would be great.
With their beliefs and their tastes.
And it's a controversial subject.
People are like, no that doll is like sickening to me.
Just talking to it.
Talking to that doll.
Just vote for it.
But think about it.
What would get accomplished if Jesus had to go to every home that a crucifix was in?
It's spreading out the network.
He's a busy man.
He's a busy man.
He's got gifts to deliver.
So if you just have the the idol of the person there, they can worship that and then Jesus can do his thing.
Right, and then maybe they don't go out and vote for like a real Donald Trump.
That's all I'm saying.
I think the Catholic Church should replace crucifixes with life-size mannequins of Jesus Christ.
Porcelain statues.
Oh, I thought you meant like realistic sex dolls of Jesus Christ, because that'd be great.
I thought you meant like a realistic doll that you could crucify at home.
Like a real doll you can crucify?
It comes in a kit, nails and everything.
With a dick on it that you can suck on?
So you can really get a sense of like the sacrifice that was made for you.
Okay, so we're already at what?
An hour thirty or something?
Yeah, an hour thirty.
That does give me an idea.
I think that what we should do is next election we should really campaign for people to write in Jesus Christ.
Because, you know... That's illegal now.
If they write it in Jesus Christ... If enough people do it, it will happen because God's almighty.
God's not allowed in politics anymore.
God's not allowed in schools, and that's why we get mass shootings.
God's also not allowed in the ballot box anymore, and that's why we're in the situation we're in.
God damn it!
He tried, but he couldn't.
He couldn't.
Because he's not allowed.
Had to do it to it.
Final comment.
Quick one.
Ray Humphries says, Wow, we are fading into obscurity.
Which is a very, very telling comment.
That is exactly what is happening here.
That is exactly what is animating them.
I think maybe Ray meant it in a slightly different way, but he's absolutely correct.
They're watching these students in a mass nationwide protest walk out of class, affect actual political change in a way that is totally alien to them.
That they think should not be allowed.
Yeah.
And they're doing it.
And Ray Humphries is not doing it.
He's not doing it anymore.
The Boomers are done.
They're gonna wane.
Well the thing is, I bought a Benghazi shirt.
I bought a Benghazi sticker.
You voted for Benghazi.
I voted for Benghazi.
I got the Benghazi mug.
Benghazi 2020.
But Killary is still on prison.
What's happening here?
I think Hillary won that election.
Versus Benghazi.
She probably won the real election.
Versus Benghazi.
Yeah.
She probably won the real one and we just don't know about it.
Again, in this comment section, just so fucking angry.
Such impotent, misdirected rage.
Occasionally throughout the comment section it was like, we're parents, we need to stand up and do something.
We should have a protest and march on Washington.
And that comment would get like 10 likes.
Yeah.
You know?
And will never, ever happen in real life.
Well, I mean, maybe when my kid's in high school or junior high, I'll think about it, but she's still in preschool, so I'm chillin'.
It's just like, even in their wildest imagination, they can't replicate this.
They can't do it, because it's totally foreign to them.
And that's what I love.
I love this.
This was a positive episode for me, personally, because it helped me figure out a lot of things about our subject matter.
It's very revealing, and just this frustration makes so much sense to me now.
Yeah I mean uh the canon that is me and my dad you know we are divided like and we're really divided like so divided that I can't even pick up the phone to text him like I don't even want to like I don't want to have the conversation with him like that's just I don't know.
I think this is relevant to what we were talking about.
This thought came up.
Work it back in.
Backwards.
What made you think about it?
The fading into obscurity?
Yes.
That generation is completely... They're afraid.
They're super afraid about it.
Well, it's over.
Very over.
It's going to be a painful realization for them.
It's going to be painful for all of us.
Thanks for working it back for me.
It's going to happen.
But I mean, you know, we like to end the podcast with what we're listening to now, and I would like to suggest... That's this podcast, of course.
Ray Humphries, he's the front man for the band Fading Into Obscurity, and they are fantastic.
Boy, that sounds like a really terrible metalcore band.
So yeah, it's good stuff.
Okay.
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And sometimes it gets you more than one weekly bonus episode because we're about to record a premium bonus bonus episode right now.
That's right.
Finish off this conversation with a post that was personal to me and Tony.
Matt is not allowed to talk about this next post, unfortunately.
Yeah, I'll go away.
Yeah, so that's going to be on the Patreon, uploaded at the same time as this episode.
Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
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