All Episodes
Previous Next
March 19, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
12:44
23 - Witchfinder Attorney General (Preview)

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get this and every weekly premium episode Trump fires the FBI, Hillary, Obama, and Rex Tillerson, who is now the leader of The Resistance.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Yeah.
Can I smoke this in here?
Yeah.
You okay with it?
Yeah, what is special about that thing?
Nothing.
Okay.
Oh, I know.
Yes, you can continue to smoke pot in my room.
It's a little bigger than usual.
There's cocaine in it.
It's just gonna smell like... Yeah, what's that Lacewood?
It's cyanide, so you might want to not breathe it in.
It's gonna smell like synthetic chemicals.
Have you seen that Hard Times, I think it's Hard Times headline?
You're thinking of High Times.
He talks about how he loves anime.
In the movie?
No, in real life.
Some people were like, but he's hot and likes anime.
What?
You can be hot and like anime?
And he's like, yeah, everyone likes anime.
We all watched Dragon Ball Z when we were kids.
I did and it was in Spanish.
I didn't know what was going on.
You watch anime in Spanish.
I fucking love that.
Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball Z was available in Spanish for English.
That's so weird.
We were poor, so we couldn't have a satellite, and we didn't have Cartoon Network on the local cable.
But like, I would buy, like, any Dragon Ball Z thing I would see in the store just to, like, try to absorb it.
I'll pretend I'm watching the show.
Yeah, like learn from it.
You just put your hand on it, and like, yes, I get it now.
Super Saiyan.
I got all this Dragon Ball GT shit, and I was like, what the fuck is this?
I don't even know who these characters are.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to destroy the deserts.
Follow their environmental stuff.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
I'm Mountain Matt.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
GOO!
Super fun, super packed show for you folks today, and we're gonna get to it, alright?
We're gonna get to it this time.
It's gonna happen.
Obviously a lot of shit happened aside from this show, but we're gonna talk about it all.
And here to talk with us about it is Michael Mikey Goo Munoz.
How you doing, Mike?
I'm good.
Can't escape that nickname, even on a different podcast.
That's fine.
So since he's on Minion Death Cult, Isn't it just Gru?
I mean, it's gotta be Gru, right?
No, Gru is Mackie's thing.
Okay.
That's how Mackie says Goo Goo Dolls, is he says Gru Gru Dolls.
Okay.
But Mike is just a genuine fan of the Goo Goo Dolls.
Right.
But he would never disparage them by calling them the Gru Gru Dolls.
Right, but Matt is making a good point because of Gru and Minions.
Yes, that's the point.
That was his joke.
Oh, wow.
Okay, you're, wow.
Come on, dude.
Die with me, bro.
Way ahead of me.
Die with me, bro.
Alright, yeah, Gru.
There it is.
Mikey and Gru.
Okay.
I like it.
You're our leader, dude.
Alright, so today we're gonna be talking about all the FBI shit, all the Trump shit.
We're mostly gonna try to keep it to the comments about this stuff.
But yeah, so Trump and Sessions went crazy, fired a lot of people, and it's pretty funny to me.
Matt burning his hand on a cherry.
You gotta keep a cherry, bro.
Yeah, I knocked it off and it, like, almost burned a hole in my shirt.
No, not the vlone.
Shut up.
I didn't wear that.
Okay, so back to the episode here.
Obviously, so this episode we're talking about A, the subpoena that Mueller sent to the, what's it called there, the Trump Organization.
Oh, those guys.
B, Trump firing Andrew McCabe or Sessions firing Andrew McCabe from the FBI.
And C, was I doing numerals or letters?
C, Rex Tillerson's firing, which we were going to talk about last Thursday, but it got sidelined.
That's just a funny conversation.
I don't know, this whole thing to me is funny.
Like, I can't, I'm having a hard time Being scared, you know?
Like the way I'm supposed to be.
I like... I totally feel you, dude.
It's hard to articulate it, you know?
Well, it's just... I don't... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say fuck the FBI.
Like, I don't... Yeah, aka fuck the police.
Yeah, fuck the police, dude.
I don't... I'm not gonna shed any crocodile tears over Andrew McCabe getting fired.
Yeah.
Right.
And, like, the fact that he got fired two days before retirement is fucking hilarious to me.
Yeah, he's fucked.
Like, MENDOZA!
And that dog only had two days till retirement.
Yeah, he's gonna have to, like, write a book now or something.
Like, it sucks.
It's, like, hilarious.
And, um, yes, Trump saying things like the FBI is corrupt At the very top is a crazy thing.
Don't get me wrong.
It's like a crazy thing for a sitting president to attack his own FBI.
Like this is wild ass shit.
But I'm not afraid on behalf of the FBI.
Like the FBI is not going to save us folks.
People think that our way out of this nightmare that we are indeed living in Is the FBI gonna arrest Trump?
Yeah.
Okay.
If they do, that would be great, and it would be funny, and I would laugh for like two days straight.
Yeah.
Probably months straight.
Yeah, definitely.
But then, what happens when Pence gets sworn in?
Same shit.
Same shit, but more effective.
Yeah, it's scarier, actually.
Yeah.
Truly.
And...
That's kind of what the Rex Tillerson portion of this episode is going to be dealing with.
The, like, weird-ass crocodile tears over ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson being fired from the State Department.
Renowned scum and all of a sudden we're like, oh boohoo.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Yeah, Rex Tillerson, the best of us, being fired by Donald Trump.
He's one of us, dude.
Let me just make sure we're recording.
I get so, so nervous about it.
You got that Noya.
Dude, you're getting a little, uh... You got that Noya.
What do you call that, uh, contact eye there?
Red in the face?
Because I'm so mad about the disparaging of the FBI, one of our sacred institutions.
They've only wrongfully arrested a few Muslim kids and only assassinated a few black leaders.
No, only setting back the progression of an entire culture by decades.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck about the... Seriously, our only way out of this is to actually organize among people, grassroots-style, and elect candidates who actually give a shit about people, and we can't rely on the FBI to save us from this, like...
Sort of nationwide right-wing populist movement.
Even if Trump is ousted, his supporters are still out there.
His freakish following is still in effect.
They're literally starting militias.
That's actually happening.
They've flourished under Obama.
Go ahead, Matt.
I mean, I don't know if I said this on the podcast, but I'm pretty sure, like, Trump getting elected, like, he was elected by the Electoral College, right?
And those are, you know, people of power.
It's heavily weighted toward Midwestern states with less population, yeah.
And these people, those senators and politicians that are the Electoral College, they wanted to instill a white power type of thing and see how it worked, I think.
I'm on a conspiracy shit.
It wasn't their decision, they just voted the way their states voted.
Nobody broke with the Electoral College.
Like, the Electoral College itself is a racist institution because it devalues the votes of populated cities, you know, which are much more diverse than, you know, the Midwest.
Let's get into... But it's like instilling... Sorry, real quick.
It's like instilling like a white power president and just like seeing how it works out.
And it seems... That's definitely what we did.
And that's what's happening.
What is it, 40% approval still?
Some crazy shit?
Yeah, something low.
Something way too high.
40% of the population approving him?
With his clearly racist, nationalist, xenophobic agenda?
I think a lot of that is just tribalism.
He's a Republican.
He's a frickin' orange, dude.
To sum it up, it's just crazy that such a small percentage of the population still means more because white supremacy is alive and well.
So that's what that boils down to.
Okay, so Trump had a few really funny tweets.
Like Trump has no chill.
Finding collusion with him in Russia is going to be an almost impossible task.
That's not what he's going to get arrested for.
That's not what he's going to get charged with.
He's gonna get charged with some shady overseas business dealings that may or may not get him removed from office.
But collusion, it's not gonna happen.
It's like a fake charge.
It's not a real charge.
Because technically nobody did anything illegal, I don't think.
Maybe the supposed tapping into voting machines would be illegal, but putting users on Facebook and saying shit online?
It would be illicit campaign donations from Russia would be one thing.
But they're trying to get him on this... Quid pro quo between him and Russian entities in order to facilitate his business dealings overseas, but that doesn't relate to the election.
Right.
So anyway this so Trump you know Trump went you know and the firing of McCabe is funny because like he lied about being a source like that's why he was fired he he leaked information to various news outlets and then lied about the fact that he was that source to the FBI and so the FBI themselves recommended his firing so Trump needing to do something
said hey we can fire this guy because even the FBI thinks he should be fired and it'll look like I'm doing something tough for my base like my base will finally say oh finally Sessions has some balls and is doing something it's like well this was like the the only thing you could do like within the realm of politics you know political expedience like there's precedent there's an excuse for him being fired
now if he were to fire mueller that would be a more extreme thing but firing mccabe there his own department record recommended him being fired he needed to go out of there uh well yeah Yeah, it doesn't.
So this Trump tweet is just funny.
The Mueller probe should have never been started in that there was no collusion and there was no crime.
If there's no crime, then they shouldn't investigate, right?
It just makes sense.
Obviously.
It was based on fraudulent activities.
You know, those fake activities?
Those, like, activities that are done in a bad faith way?
In a real fake way.
Fraudulent manner.
What a fuckin' poser type shit.
Yeah, real poser activities.
Like, fuckin' pushing Mongo on those activities.
He really mall-grabbed this one.
Losers.
And a fake dossier paid for by Crooked Hillary and the DNC.
That dossier, including, of course, Trump getting pissed on.
That's the dossier that they're talking about.
Yeah, dude, I really hope you dig it, Peter.
Oh, that would roll so hard.
I would love to see that.
Picture of his dick.
I don't think he got peed on I think it's like The the hookers peed on each other or peed on a bed because he's like a germaphobe He's like probably did not touch his women at all watching it.
Just like hey, just watch it in a full suit Urine went somewhere.
That's not a toilet Like that's all we know.
And he was around.
Here's what we know.
Okay, paid for by Crooked Hillary in the DNC and improperly used in FISA court for surveillance of my campaign.
Which hunt?
Yeah, so a lot of that is not accurate.
It was properly used in the FISA court and there was other stuff that was used in order to get ...surveillance on the Trump campaign, including the fact that like four of his people have been indicted.
Successfully indicted.
I think it's more than that.
Anyway, so let's go to this first comment.
I thought he was just a fan of the band Witch Hunt, dude.
He's just like yelling about it.
Is that a band?
I don't know.
There's Witchfinder.
There definitely is a Witchfinder general.
Who would Trump appoint for Witchfinder general?
Probably like Christine O'Donnell.
He's like, I swear I'm not a witch.
▲
Export Selection