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Jan. 17, 2018 - Minion Death Cult

01:15:48

10 - Jesus Cake

This week the cult takes on the christian bakers who refused service to gay couples, one of which cases is currently being heard at the Supreme Court. The comments section has thoughts as to why this isn't actually discrimination, occasionally at the expense of their own family members. Also: Taco Bell slips up and reveals its ties to the Illuminati with a new ad campaign.

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	You know what's crazy?
	My dad did, um, one of those DNA things.
	Yeah, my dad did 9-11.
	He did one of those DNA things and he's becoming more like, hey, again.
	Oh, really?
	He's like, you know what I realized, Matthew?
	We all come from the same place.
	Your dad is like so impressionable.
	I am.
	Like, he's gonna find out that he has 2% Nigerian blood and become, like, an African nationalist.
	I hope so.
	That would be so awesome.
	He's like, we gotta go back.
	We gotta go back to Africa.
	I get my dad drawing up a nation of Islam.
	That cult.
	And he's like, rocking a red bowtie.
	I'm like, get that fucking filthy pork out of your mouth.
	He's like, Dad, you gave me pork for the first time.
	He's in a red bowtie, but he's still got, like, a Led Zeppelin pic underneath it on a pendant.
	Yeah, that'd be perfect.
	Through the collar, or what?
	He's like, it lines up right, though.
	It's an REO Speedwagon, if you take it away.
	Okay, yeah.
	He's gotta have some, like, die-cast Judas Priest pin somewhere, too, right?
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone ray.
	Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist phonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned, guys.
	We'll show you exactly what it looks like when the stormed dangers fall there in Barbados.
	Stay tuned.
	All right.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	I I'm Mountain.
	I am the Meme Man, Matt.
	And I'm Tony, the Bosmanian Devil, Boswell.
	Yeah, and we're Minion Death Cult.
	We are Minion Death Cult.
	Yeah, so We got a just another food themed political show here for you guys today because we are we are talking about the two gangbusters nationwide cake Controversies that are currently in the news one of which is all the way to the Supreme Court.
	Yeah We're talking about Two Christian cake shops that refuse to bake wedding cakes for gay couples.
	One was a gay couple, the other was a lesbian couple.
	And the one from Colorado is currently being tried or heard.
	Oral arguments were just heard in the Supreme Court.
	We expect a ruling in June.
	I can only imagine that it's going to come out in favor of civil rights and progressivism.
	I don't know.
	Keeping my fingers crossed.
	I don't know.
	And we got a little more light-hearted topic at the end of this show today.
	We'll be talking about Taco Bell and the Belluminati.
	The Balloon-ma-naughty?
	The Bellu-ma-naughty.
	Oh, the Bellu-ma-naughty.
	Listen, if you guys want to tune out for that one, I understand because it's going to be very, um, it's really top secret stuff.
	Um, you know, I, if you, if you want to stay asleep, go ahead and turn it off.
	But if you want to wake up with us, we'll show you the light.
	It's a rude awakening though.
	If you want to open up that brown eye.
	If you want to shove a red pill into that brown eye.
	Show you the chest piece of the devil known as the Belluminati.
	Cool, yeah.
	So the first, let's get started with Masterpiece Cake Shop versus Colorado Civil Rights Commission at the U.S.
	Supreme Court.
	So basically Masterpiece Cake Shop is a custom cake shop with a you know uh what is what is that called like a like an oil an oil painter's palette with different colors as part of what's that artists artist as part of their logo you know this is a real artsy fartsy type thing and that's basically his argument is that What he is creating in his cake shop is art.
	It is.
	And the government should not be able to compel him to create art that he finds repulsive.
	Right.
	Jesus fucking Christ.
	So that's the foundation we're going with.
	That's the foundation he's going with.
	That he's going with.
	Having this man bake this cake would be like having, you know, Kanye play at the inauguration.
	Like, he's not doing that.
	He's an artist.
	So yeah, I get it.
	No, because basically, like, the religious... There's two ways to go with this argument.
	There's the religious freedom argument, which was already tried back in the 60s.
	It's been a minute.
	It was tried back in the 60s when people were trying not to serve black people because it violated their religious beliefs, you know, that black people suck.
	It's a parallel.
	It was thrown out back in the fucking 60s.
	It was thrown out... I feel like it happened...
	You feel like what happened?
	Is this cake case the same case from like two years ago?
	It happened in like 2013.
	It's been making its way up to the Supreme Court.
	There's been more than one asshole baker.
	Is what we're saying.
	Oh man.
	Okay, so basically this, the religious discrimination thing was already tried, so now they're going with artistic discrimination.
	Literally, this dude's, like, cakes are so fucking, so pristine that they are, they should be counted as art and not just something he sells out of a fucking strip mall.
	Yeah.
	He's like, no, no, we don't eat these.
	Like, if you, like, you can't just go anywhere and get, like, a three-tiered vanilla cake with flowers drawn on the side of it.
	No, you can get some bootleg wax shit.
	You can get that Stater Brothers pre-made or you can get that like finessed ass just like beautiful marzipan, you know?
	If you start telling cake makers that they gotta make cakes for everybody, you're gonna get that creativity suck out of the market.
	You're not gonna be able to get a cake that looks like a gift-wrapped present anymore.
	We all love that cake.
	That cake's gone.
	Now they're gonna have to use their artist's hand to place two grooms on top of a cake.
	Maybe that's his defense.
	He's like, no, the groom and bride only come, like, together.
	I can't buy him.
	You have to pay for two.
	You have to cut him in half and switch him up.
	So literally, if you're buying this, you're paying half the cost of some other shit.
	Never mind.
	You think the Cake Boss got where he's at by letting people tell him what to do?
	Probably.
	No, Cake Boss rules Baltimore because he does what he wants to do to express himself through the art.
	Yeah, but see, Cake Boss must know people, because otherwise he'd be getting dragged through the court system too for not bossing around gay people.
	Like, if you're the Cake Boss, you gotta boss around everybody equally.
	Oh, that's true.
	He just made a dope cake instead.
	Can Cake Boss do, like, a cake with, like, dots on it?
	Oh, for sure.
	Okay.
	Yeah, artisanal dots.
	Tony, are you the house aficionado on Cake Boss?
	I think I know more about death than everyone else in the room.
	Is that true?
	Literally never seen an episode of Gatling either.
	Okay, cool.
	Let's move on.
	So, just to give you a little background on this trial, the party supporting Masterpiece Cake Shop is the Alliance Defending Freedom, and this group is a Christian rights group who is also involved, I'm reading from Wikipedia here, also involved in the Lawrence v. Texas case, which may sound familiar because it's the landmark gay rights case that overturned laws criminalizing same-sex activities.
	Okay, ADF lawyers argued against overturning those laws describing gay men as diseased and public health risks.
	Jesus Christ.
	But, you know, they're also really into art.
	Yeah.
	God, that's... They've been doing that for a minute.
	How do they still exist?
	That's kind of, I'm glad you brought that up because we talk about a lot of very sick individuals on this podcast.
	We talk about a lot of kooky commenters on this podcast.
	I think that's all we talk about.
	There are legit organizations who are just as crazy as every single person we talk about with millions of dollars behind their name.
	These people that we talk about aren't getting it from nowhere.
	They're getting it directly from the source.
	Okay, so, another such source is The Activist Mommy.
	This is an account on Facebook that is...
	Fairly popular, millions of followers.
	She is a Christian stay-at-home mother whose logo is activist mommy in all caps and the mommy, the O in the mommy, is a fist punching the screen with a wedding ring on it.
	Absolutely.
	Well, the thing about... She's also kind of an artist.
	She's an indie pundit.
	She's very DIY, very...
	Yeah, I like it.
	She's also got like 10 kids, so she's like a... Mormon?
	She's like a uterus artist.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	She's like painting the world with her creations.
	The inside of her uterus is painted with all kinds of cool stuff.
	Like finger paints and stuff?
	Yeah, like... Like Starry Starry Night.
	She's like a... Oh, you meant semen.
	Yeah.
	She's like a human printing press, you know?
	She's still that DIY ethics.
	She's a human 3D printer.
	3D printing children.
	We have people like her.
	Tell it like it is, keepin' it real.
	Yeah, so she did a post, she did a video on Facebook.
	Should Christians be forced to bake same-sex wedding cakes?
	And I love just the still thumbnail image from this video, which is her with an array of cakes and cupcakes in front of her, you know, sitting on top of probably some nice granite Countertop in her own kitchen, standing in front of a stainless steel smart fridge, wearing, you know, her probably personally branded pink and brown apron.
	That's Gruntwear, not Gruntwear.
	What's the Grunt for?
	It's a feminized version of Grunt.
	No, the Gruntwear, the feminized version of Gruntwear is just Gruntwear, but like pink and smaller.
	I've seen it with my own eyes.
	But I was watching, I saw on Hypebeast today, on Hypebeast today, they're actually doing a Activist Mami X Gruntstyle apron for the spring.
	It's hard.
	It's for like the ironic crowd, like the real, like, the, the, uh, what do they call that?
	Cloud rap?
	Like, like, like- Soundcloud rap?
	Uh, wave, vapor wave.
	Yeah, exactly.
	People, they're like, this shit is hype.
	Okay, so this, I just want to say that this thumbnail she's, we're looking at here, is her holding a spoon up to her mouth, closing her eyes, and there's a caption underneath that goes, mmm.
	And it's like, this is her at her most smarmy.
	This is her at her most, like, sarcastic, which is, it's real weird if you've ever seen a Christian be sarcastic.
	It feels wrong.
	Oh yeah, because they're supposed to be nice.
	It's abrasive, for sure, in a weird way.
	And so she just goes through and she's like, what?
	Are we really crying about getting denied basic human services at a public restaurant?
	At a public establishment?
	Come on!
	Hi, I'm Elizabeth and I'm the activist mommy.
	So a private business owner refuses to bake a same-sex wedding cake because it violates his conscience and now the couple is claiming they are victims of discrimination.
	Seriously?
	Are we really going to whine about this, people?
	Look, I've got a birthday cake here for you guys.
	I'm glad to sell you this and these lovely cupcakes.
	Oh, what about a Mother's Day cake to give to your mom?
	She'll love it.
	And look, I even made a rainbow cake because we know how Christians love God's rainbow.
	Jack Phillips, for years, has served homosexuals for all types of special occasions.
	But when this couple targeted Jack Phillips to custom create their same-sex wedding cake, Jack said he was sorry he couldn't do it.
	You see, Jack doesn't believe in celebrating same-sex weddings because of his deeply held religious beliefs.
	Now rather than be decent human beings and go order their cake down the road at another bakery, This couple has bullied and sued Jack Phillips for five years, causing him to lose 40% of his business.
	Fuck, dude.
	My favorite word she uses is when she's like, you're gonna bully us into making us do what you want to do?
	Yeah, targeted.
	Dude, that...
	That line is so crazy.
	That's literally why we have a government because of people like you need bullying.
	That's literally why we have the government.
	It's called civil rights.
	That Instagram post I sent you guys earlier this week with that store around us, their final apology was all like, you know, we're not going to be bullied.
	Yeah, they said that.
	This is one of the arguments that you see being pushed either in the comments section or by these like Facebook pundits themselves is that without any evidence without citing any sort of statements or any sort of report they are saying that these couples these two couples on both of these different stories people have independently just sprouted this knowledge that these two couples are targeting Christian bakeries like they went
	Fucking bakery to bakery ass daring them to be bigoted toward them and which which is an amazing thing like I Fucking dare you you piece of shit.
	I should happen all the time.
	I dare you to to discriminate against me like Fuck yeah.
	Like the assholes that they are, they went around and bullied people into discriminating against them.
	Cause you know what I've heard is really convenient is trying to get married and not being able to get a cake.
	Trying to get married and like looking for a note.
	Man, how can I get a cake?
	They're like looking for a note.
	Hey, can you do this cake for us?
	Yeah, we'd love to do it.
	Oh fuck.
	Dude, I was seeing all kinds of conspiracy theories that were like, Uh, this couple traveled a hundred- a hundred miles to get to this bakery for quote, some reason, passing eight other bakeries on the way there, and I'm like, what the f- what kind of- what have you been doing in Google Maps?
	Must be a good bakery, like, good for them.
	There's always that kind of like, dot connecting that occurs in any- any kind of this shit.
	Okay, so, uh, basically, you know, Christian Mommy didn't like this.
	Activist Mommy doesn't like this.
	She's sending her supporters to a GoFundMe page that got ruthlessly shut down.
	Hell yeah.
	So, I love that this woman is, like, the, um, she is the, like, Christian fundamentalist and, like, equivalent to, like, D-Ray on, like, the left.
	She's like an all lives matter You know She would probably say like Christ lives matter.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's tight.
	Wholesome mom life, you know?
	Jesus first.
	I could fucking wear a Christ lives matter shirt.
	I'm the victim, you know?
	She's the equivalent to, you know, she's like the antithesis.
	She's the yin to the yang for sure.
	She's shy.
	I hope they find each other on Twitter.
	I'm gonna make that happen.
	Okay, so Sarah Poe, let's get into the comments here.
	Sarah Poe, this is one of the top comments.
	If you replace gay couple with black couple, foreign couple, or interracial couple, and this would be from 70 years ago, it is discrimination.
	And the Activist Mommy, this is right out of the gate, just to give you an idea of Activist Mommy.
	Activist Mommy says, no it wouldn't.
	Being black is immutable and involuntary.
	Having sex with someone of the same sex is an abnormal sexual fetish and a choice.
	Stop insulting black people like that.
	I think we got a hot take here.
	Stop insulting black people by calling them gay.
	Stop.
	Stop.
	You know, black people can't help that they're black.
	They can't help it.
	These people choose to be perverts.
	You know, my brother...
	Was handicapped and he couldn't help it.
	Handicapped?
	That's probably not right either.
	Anyway.
	But she's fucked.
	She's racist and... and... She's just shitty.
	But she's also an activist.
	She's actually pretty smart because she's tapping into the swaths of African Americans that are also homophobic.
	She's trying to.
	So it works.
	Because that's a huge thing.
	Do you think they were just waiting for some pretty white lady to come out in support of them?
	Well, no, but she just knows.
	She's like, I'm not trying to alienate.
	Do you think they're like, finally!
	Finally, I'm sure this newfound love of our people will transfer over into other areas.
	I don't think that.
	Like economics?
	No, they're both just Team Jesus.
	So Jesus is the only one who wins here.
	Yeah, because homophobia, that's when you hear about like, there's a huge conservatism, a Christian conservatism amongst black America and it's super homophobic and they do find allies like this.
	They're like, I've seen it happen at my birthday parties when I was a kid.
	And then on like in the... Did Activist Mommy bake your birthday cake, dude?
	Activist Mommy did not because, um... She bake your rainbow cake?
	She doesn't mind, you know, black people, but the interracial thing's a little touchy.
	Gotcha.
	So yeah, so she just made me cupcake.
	That's like a, that's an abnormal fetish, right?
	Yeah.
	Right.
	It's a perversion of sorts.
	Yeah.
	They can't help it though.
	Just, yeah, right out the gate calling homosexuality an abnormal sexual fetish.
	Like, and the fact that that was, you know, because on Facebook, if, uh, usually if there's a popular comment that's been threaded underneath another popular comment, it'll show both of them together.
	So you could see activist mommies reply to this right on the second you clicked on the comment section.
	And it's like, it's amazing to me that, you know, as
	Passe as this thought is that in 2018 like this super popular Christian woman is calling Homosexuality an abnormal sexual fetish like that's not what you're supposed to do to win this argument No, like you still don't want to bake like cakes for gay people you gotta you got to pretend to still like them well, I think that the right has Gone a few steps ahead of that Alex.
	I think you're right about that.
	I mean dude My brother says the same exact shit and he's fucking gay.
	He's been gay since... I mean, I'm 28 and he's 30 and he's been playing with like dolls, like Barbie dolls and stuff like that.
	Which means you're gay when you do that.
	Naturally, you know.
	But I mean, he was always really...
	Like, super liberal growing up.
	Taught me lots of shit about, like, LGBTQ rights.
	Like, lots of stuff.
	Just all kinds of shit like that.
	So he's been, like, aware and he's been aware and kind of woke up.
	I mean, this dude organized shit in high school when in, like, 06.
	Like, he had an LGBTQ group at high school that long ago.
	But he moved to England.
	I don't know what's going on over there.
	What's in the water?
	What's up?
	What's going on?
	But now he's an InfoWars motherfucker.
	He saw two Muslim people on the same day and now he's an InfoWars.
	He saw two Muslim people on his block.
	One of them was driving a car five miles over the speed limit and now their whole neighborhood's invaded.
	But he is literally, he's an Alex Jones guy.
	He'll say he's not, but he is.
	Well he's an early organizer so we saw this coming.
	Yeah, but he says that gay is learned.
	He said that that is learned behavior and he said he learned that growing up.
	What, from?
	From probably the Jewish Zionist media.
	So it's because of your learning disability that you're not gay?
	I feel pretty gay sometimes also.
	I'm Jewish.
	I mean you guys are in the same environment so I feel pretty gays sometimes though so You just couldn't process it Yeah yeah Or maybe you were blessed were you blessed?
	Were you saved?
	I'm Jewish Was he ever saved?
	Me and him probably have different dads I feel like I'm Jewish so I'm God's chosen Maybe there's been enough progress made, you know, not enough enough, but enough progress made on the front for gay white men that they feel comfortable just going back to the GOP.
	You know what I mean?
	Like they feel comfortable just siding right back up.
	That's truth.
	Like, hey, I don't get stoned in the street as often.
	You know, I don't get dragged behind a truck as often anymore.
	Maybe I can creep back to like, you know, the people who are gonna keep me safe from all the other forces in the world.
	- Tori, I think it's-- - Oh, go ahead.
	- And you have the mentality too where you're like, well, I mean, as long as I'm single, I'm not actually gay, right? - I promise it's some weird sort of like-- It's Daddy Trump fetish.
	Yeah, it's a fetishism, man.
	See, that is an abnormal fetish that I can't get behind.
	I really do think it is, like, the strange fetishism for, like, big, gruff, bear-type dudes like Alex Jones, the quintessential bear.
	No, I don't want to give him that clout.
	Dude, look at him.
	Look at his, like, top-heavy, short, like, body.
	He's, like, all, like, plump up top.
	He's so red and swollen.
	Yeah, he's way too stressed to be a bear.
	Yeah.
	He's more like a Tasmanian devil.
	But imagine just... He's more like a Bosmanian devil.
	Yeah.
	But imagine if you just sucked him off and got him that good release, and he would probably just chill the fuck out.
	That's the fetish they're chasing.
	It's weird, man.
	This cannot be included in the podcast.
	I'll see what happens.
	Mary Ann Collins Shores Whitley says...
	FYI, for those of you who have not seen it, President Trump has taking the side of the baker.
	It means the baker won, and it is another win for Christianity.
	Taking.
	That's so much winning.
	So much winning.
	And now up to bat for Team Jesus, Donald Trump.
	That's, yeah, that's why Masterpiece Cake Shop can't make wedding cakes right now is because, like, they're winning so hard he doesn't want to rub it in.
	Right.
	They have to take it easy, let Trump do most of the fighting on the front end.
	What's funny is, like, do you think that your brother would be like, I just want to get my cake there?
	Yeah, of course he would.
	There were self-identified gay people in these comments who were like, oh, I wouldn't do that to somebody.
	I'll find out where Trump will get it made.
	I would just get my cake made at the gay bakery.
	Yeah, there's lots of people like my brother out there.
	I'm certain.
	What we need to do is we need to look at the wedding cake itself.
	Notice the tiers of the wedding cake.
	We need to replicate that in our economy and have a tiered system where one of the tiers is People who hate gay people.
	And the other tier is the people who are gay people.
	And one of them just sits on top of the other one and they're fine.
	And stick to your tier.
	Yeah, but they can get to the other tier if they hate gay people as much.
	And if they kill another gay person, then they're just right up on that top tier.
	They get to be the groom.
	In order to replace the bride, you have to kill the bride to be the second groom.
	Alicia Castillo.
	Oh, no, no.
	Here's what we were talking about.
	Scarlett Copeland says, My son is gay, and I have taught him his whole life that you can't force your lifestyle on somebody and then get upset when they come back at you with their beliefs.
	If one church won't marry you, simple, go to the next one.
	If a bakery won't make your cake, simply go to the next one.
	Scarlett Copeland, I'm going to take her at her word, Scarlett Copeland has a gay son.
	And what did she teach him his whole life?
	Not to like, you know, be accepting of yourself, it doesn't matter what other people think, you're cool, being gay is okay.
	No, what she taught him his whole life is that he can't force his lifestyle on other people, including mom.
	Yeah, you're gay, I get it.
	But don't fucking bring that shit around here.
	And don't even talk to me about it.
	Well, it's like she told her son.
	She said, listen, you know, just because you can't come to my Thanksgiving doesn't mean you can't go to his family's Thanksgiving.
	You can go to his family's Thanksgiving, it's fine.
	Find another Thanksgiving to go to.
	Listen, we can have dinner.
	I just don't want to have dinner around your aunt's.
	Nobody's saying you can't eat, you just can't eat here.
	God, I'll save you a plate.
	Just find another house that wants a gay son.
	I'll Uber the food to you.
	I need the leaves raked tomorrow anyways.
	You know, you know, we got rid of the kiddie table.
	You should just go to your boyfriend's family's house.
	Oh my god.
	She's on the light end of, like, being shitty, but, like, it's still passively shitty.
	Imagine that day in and day out, like, you know, you can't force your lifestyle.
	It's like, like, I'm literally, I don't even have a boyfriend right now.
	Like, yeah, I'm just literally trying to exist.
	I just came out to you.
	Like, if that's your first instinct is to tell your own fucking son not to force their- Like, how- I was a shitty, uh, I was like a shitty skater and a shitty, like, little hardcore kid and my dad still didn't even tell me not to force my- Yeah.
	Not to force my bleeding through on anybody else, you know?
	I just don't think that- When he had every right to.
	Alicia Castillo says, "When people understand that no one should be a slave to anyone, they may then understand that you can't force people to provide service to anyone.
	That's the definition of slavery." Man.
	"Regardless of pay.
	Not to mention, the religious liberty being violated." So yeah, like you work at Target and somebody's like, "Hey, like, I'm gonna buy this Blu-ray." And you're like, "Don't enslave me, bro." Don't make me sell you this, bro.
	This is literally slavery, what you're making me do by ringing this up.
	Well, getting paid to work is slavery.
	Didn't you know?
	Didn't you know that?
	Yeah, regardless of pay.
	Like, these are the same people who don't think you should have a living wage, and they're comparing, like, a self-employed cake artist to a slave.
	Yeah.
	It's like you said, maybe off recording, I don't know, but this country is, you know, we're supposed to all be able to have an equal way and share in this, and, you know, shouldn't they just sell cakes to gay people?
	That's the moral, right?
	I would love for this to be, like, the shortest episode of Judge Judy.
	Yeah.
	Like, Judge Judy introducing the, you know, the plaintiff, you know, this gay couple, and the defendant, uh, Masterpiece Cake Shop.
	Uh, okay, so what's the story?
	Like, you wouldn't sell him a cake?
	And he's like, yeah, well, I don't believe in them being gay.
	He's like, sell him the fucking cake.
	Case closed.
	Gavel.
	Sell him the fucking cake.
	Fucking sell the shit.
	I don't like short Judge Judy because, you know, I like it when she gets, like, sassy.
	She gets in on him.
	She would- it would go longer than that.
	She'd get- she'd yell.
	I think she'd give it to him.
	I think she'd give him the old- She'd, like, pretend not to hear the bailiff.
	Yeah.
	Love her.
	What?!
	I love her.
	Love you.
	Cara Brewer says, Patty Savage, it's about privilege.
	These two individuals had never heard of the word no and left unchecked by any form of care.
	What the fuck?
	Jesus.
	So they do not know how to handle it when told no.
	I'd gladly refer them to a Muslim cake shop, but then they would tell me no.
	And when asked why not, I'd probably get into trouble for providing a, quote, traumatic experience.
	See how that flies?
	These people are mentally weak!
	Yes.
	Do you see how it flies?
	In this hypothetical scenario you concocted, I definitely see how people are mentally weak.
	These people are mentally weak.
	In this world you just built, people look very weak.
	When you told me about it in the Facebook comment, I saw it happen.
	Really.
	And, uh, yeah, I get it now.
	This all happened.
	Well, she's not even trying to say it happened.
	She's just like, hey, imagine if, like, imagine if this happened.
	Isn't that shitty?
	And then see how that flies?
	Yeah, in your brain, I get how shit flies in your brain, lady.
	Dirk Pear-man?
	Dirk Pear-man.
	Dirk-man?
	No, Pear-man.
	Dirk Peter-man.
	Dirk Pear-man says... Pear-shaped man.
	That's what we're going for.
	This is all cuz Obama.
	He is the one to blame for all of this.
	It slowly started when Bush term was up in 2014, when marriage law was going on.
	Well, Obama divided the nation, alright.
	You know what's funny about this comment?
	I'm like, yeah, it kind of is cuz of Obama.
	He's part of that.
	Yeah, when he went into office in 2015.
	Yep.
	Terrible at math.
	I mean, technically, the marriage ruling did happen in 2015.
	Maybe he thinks that was Obama's first executive order was getting the Supreme Court to legalize same-sex marriage.
	Hey guys, do you remember when marriage law was going on?
	Remember that day?
	I love the well too.
	Well?
	Obama divided the nation alright.
	What's funny too is this is, I just realized this, this is the opposite of, a gay cake is the equivalent of a Trump lives here $20 bill.
	It's the gay equivalent?
	No, it's just the equivalent.
	It's like, oh, that company, the young snowflake was like, I can't take that.
	And this guy's like, no, I won't take that.
	I will not take your money for your gay cake.
	I will not take your gay money for your gay cake.
	I won't do it.
	Did you get this out of a gay stripper's butt crack?
	Then I'm not going to take your money.
	Yeah, and then the patrons were like, instead of calling the cops, they actually called, like, who you're supposed to call, which is the Colorado Civil Rights Commission.
	Like, they filed a complaint.
	They didn't actually call 911 because they couldn't get a wedding cake baked.
	I mean, we're all allowed to say, hey, listen, this company, they're ran by assholes.
	We have the right to say that.
	That's what Yelp was for, I guess.
	I mean, fuck Yelp, but that's what Yelp was for.
	Better business bureau, and then all of a sudden you have to get your human rights people to get your back.
	There's gonna be, yeah, like, one of the hallmarks of the Trump era is there's just gonna be a brand new, like, gold standard of consumer reports books that are just about, like, civil rights and certain, whether or not certain establishments will, like, you know, call you certain derogatory words or not, like, oh, you know, they're, like, you go through the column, you go through, like, the way Consumer Reports, like, ranks a product, you know, and it's like, it's like, uh,
	You know, Joe's Tire Shop down on 3rd Street, like, prices are average, the time spent there is average, the names you're gonna get called, you're gonna get called a queer if you go there.
	Well, there'll be like, Yelp's gonna come out with a series of different badges for businesses.
	Like, if you're gonna call a black guy bad words, then it'll be like a KKK hood.
	Okay, I like that.
	Yeah, there's like little badges, little addendums.
	Yeah, I like that.
	And so the blue star on Fox News comment section, that's for the K word, right?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	That's for all those fuckers calling them the K's.
	And then there's the levels.
	This company hates the sinner, not the sin.
	This company hates both sinner and sin.
	I think Facebook and Yelp should adopt some shit from Fox News.
	Yeah, this one's got like a target badge because it was targeted by a gay couple.
	Right.
	If there's a gun, it's because you'll be triggered if you go there.
	That's going to get confusing.
	Jacob Fleck says, As a business owner you have every right to deny anyone you want to.
	If you're a bar owner, you're allowed to cut off anyone you think is too drunk.
	You're allowed to have a business run on all major holidays or on Saturday or Sunday, which are considered days of worship.
	You're allowed to not allow guns in your place of work as well, as not be able to bring in outside food or beverage into most bars, restaurants, or movie theaters.
	So yeah, when it's talking about, like, you're not allowed to bring, you know, your candy from home, like, you're also not allowed to bring that snack in here, you know what I mean?
	Exactly.
	Bring that little snack in here.
	God.
	We're bringing that around here.
	Or like, you know, if they're just too... Being gay is almost kind of like being too drunk, you know what I mean?
	They're always having fun.
	It's the same, yeah.
	There are no inhibitions.
	Like, I mean, okay, we've all been drunk.
	Like, yeah, you do what you really want to do that you're afraid to do in public.
	You let loose and it's obscene and that's why we don't serve those people.
	I mean, being a bartender for so long, I can never imagine the scenario where I'm like, hey, I can't serve you anymore.
	And they're like, oh man, like, I'm not drunk.
	I'm like, I know, but, but you're gay.
	You're drunk on that cum.
	Yeah.
	You're going to start dancing any minute now.
	That's never happened.
	You know who you're always kicking out all the time?
	The drunk guy that's calling someone gay.
	You're kicking that guy out all day long.
	If you had some gay guy drinking a bunch of cum, he's probably practicing some kind of cool, like, Crowleyan magic.
	Oh, right, yeah.
	He's living a sick life, so he could probably benefit from keeping that guy around.
	That's true, yeah.
	Yeah, that person's probably living a sick life.
	Like, that's... I mean, do you, Boo-Boo?
	Dude.
	Bucket of cum.
	Whole bucket.
	John Ward Jr.
	says, Why make a big of it?
	Oh, yes.
	You know a big?
	You want everyone to know you are stupid.
	My dog wants a cake, but due to health laws, the baker would not let him lick the spoon.
	Get over it.
	Someone does not want to make you a cake.
	Go somewhere else.
	Ooh, no, but I want it.
	Get paid or notice that I am stupid.
	Burger chef want not make me a non-beef hamburger.
	Go figure.
	And I wrote this comment down five hours ago, and I am still trying to go figure.
	Yeah, I'm trying to figure too.
	Burger Chef want not make me a non-beef hamburger.
	Oh, fuckin' Burger Chef over here.
	This guy is the guy that's mad about, like... Like, he's not gonna go to Friday's anymore, cause Friday's is gonna start to carry the Impossible Burger soon.
	Hell yeah.
	He's like, oh fuck that, they're making non-beef burgers?
	I'm not coming here anymore.
	Dude, Friday's is probably- I don't support non-beef- It's not a burger if it's not beef!
	Friday's has probably had a turkey burger since the 80's.
	No fuckin' shit.
	I'm here for the goddamn meat.
	No, and that's why he doesn't like lesbian couples either.
	No beef.
	No beef.
	Burger chef want not make me a non-beef hamburger.
	Go figure.
	Also, what's that example?
	Where's that place where I can get a cake made and they'll save the spoon for me to lick?
	No, he's saying that, like, you wanting a cake made is the same thing as you wanting your dog to lick the beaters.
	Yeah, oh my god.
	This is a great comparison.
	This all makes all the sense.
	You know, because, like, they're both bitches, right?
	I'm going to do that at the same time.
	I'm going to bring in, you know, like a queer couple friend I know and bring them in and be like, hey, can you make them a cake?
	And can my dog also clean all the bowls?
	I need both those things done.
	I also love, my dog wants a cake, but due to health laws, the baker would not let him lick the spoon.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's, it's a law.
	Makes sense.
	It's a regulation.
	Yeah.
	I'd be real pissed if I found out that all the beaters from like Hostess were Like you are talking about regulating businesses.
	That's what we are all talking about.
	Like the idea that this fool is creating art with his cakes and selling them to anybody off the street, like the argument that the Trump administration is trying to make here is that every single piece, every single thing you sell is an act of speech.
	Every single thing you sell or you make is your art.
	So the idea that you should have ultimate free speech while you engage in this highly regulated market activity is purely incompatible.
	There's rooms full of books based on shit you can't do when you're selling your fucking cakes.
	Yeah, there's a lot of things.
	And guess what?
	Discriminating against gay people is one of them.
	Yep.
	You can't leave the milk out for too long and you also have to make cakes for gay people.
	If they don't win this case, it's gonna be crazy.
	It's gonna undo so much shit.
	I don't think it has a chance.
	They're saying they could rule narrowly and reprimand Colorado's handling of this particular case by saying that the laws that they put into place protecting gay rights were done with malice or something because there's like one single quote inside of this law that says something about how
	to use your religion as a as a excuse for discrimination is you know it's um reprehensible there's some language like that in the bill that they're talking about picking apart and focusing on that instead so it might it might just be still in limbo after this case but like they these people did that so long ago like they don't they forget that whole thing is so is null and void because We separated church and state, except for some reason we didn't.
	No, we didn't.
	We wrote it down.
	We wrote it down for sure, but we didn't do it at all.
	No, you need to get all this shit out of the market.
	You need to tax churches just like people, businesses.
	Yeah, because they function like it.
	Nonprofit businesses is how they should be taxed.
	You want to only act in accordance with your specific, crazy, internalized interpretation of whatever religion you have.
	You can't do it through business.
	You can't do it while selling shit to people.
	Like, just deal with it.
	That's that.
	It's the same thing with the birth control.
	Like, the birth control mandate or whatever.
	Like, basically what these people are saying, like, the issue at hand, let me maybe clarify this for people who don't understand.
	The issue at hand isn't that this dude wouldn't make a cake that said, Hi, I'm Dave and I fuck Steve.
	That's not what they wanted.
	As horny and hot as that would be.
	They wanted a fucking wedding cake with some wedding shit on it.
	Maybe two grooms on top.
	Maybe two grooms, probably not because it's kind of tacky.
	It's super tacky, but it's kind of cute too.
	It's kind of cute.
	That's not what this is about.
	This is about, they said, I want a cake, and he said, who's it for?
	And they said, it's for us, because we're getting married.
	He said, I don't believe in that.
	He said, I don't believe in you two getting married.
	And you're like, that's a weird thing to not believe in.
	It's happening on November 23rd.
	We're going to do it.
	It's going down.
	And so, we're married whether you believe we're married or not.
	Basically, what these people think should happen is that not only should they get to sell you a product, like not only should they get to take your money, they should get to say what you do with that product after you buy it.
	This dude doesn't have to officiate the wedding.
	He doesn't have to be at the wedding.
	Any of that shit.
	He wants to say, no, you're gonna take this cake home and you're gonna eat it like in plain clothes in your dining room.
	Yeah, you better not eat this on the same day as your wedding.
	I'll be fucking furious. - I think. - And if you eat on your wedding day, I'm gonna go to hell maybe.
	I don't know.
	I don't want to be accessory to murder.
	And it's the same thing with your birth control, okay?
	If your company is part of your benefits, you get health insurance, right?
	What these companies want to do is they want to say, okay, yeah, we're allocating a specific amount of money that was already going to go into your health plan, and then we want to say how you get to use to decide that money.
	This isn't money that we gave you, this isn't money that's like a charitable gift to you, this is money that you earned by coming in and doing this fucking job, and it's your money, and they want to decide, oh no, you don't get to use that for birth control because, I don't know, I like being in control, and so no.
	Well, if they don't spend it, then it's a surplus, and then they can, whoever, you know, holds that money and spend it on jet skis.
	Oh, no, but they're still gonna spend it, because they're still gonna sprain ankles.
	Yeah.
	But they're thinking, like, listen... Scrape knees and sprain ankles?
	They're thinking, like, no, no, it's a child, not a choice.
	You're not getting out of this one.
	You have to have this kid.
	It's so crazy.
	They have this, like...
	And people kind of forgot about that one.
	I don't go to, but I'll be in the same parking lot as the Hobby Lobby and it's busy.
	I see people going in and out and I'm like, what?
	Why are you guys going here?
	No one cares.
	Remember where we live.
	Yeah, but they don't even know.
	I got a really good twofer right here from Joel Knight.
	Oh, here we go.
	Joel Knight says, this simply can be a game of attrition.
	Okay, force a Christian to go against his beliefs?
	Every gay business owner should be targeted and made to go against their beliefs and ethos.
	True.
	So like, what are you gonna do, man?
	Yeah?
	Like, you gonna take your wife to a store like an insane person?
	You can't do that, bro!
	I'm gonna let her buy something.
	Like a fucking jerk!
	What do they think gay people are against?
	I don't know, yeah.
	Living and, like, being normal.
	That's what they think they're against.
	Okay, Chase... Chase Gray says... Chase Gray!
	Chase Gray, our boy Chase Gray.
	Yay!
	We got to Chase, finally!
	Chase Gray says, go to a mosque and demand they make a Jesus cake.
	That's it!
	You know, a Jesus cake.
	Mic drop.
	Go to a mosque... And ask them to make you a cake.
	Demand they make a Jesus cake.
	Can you imagine this brown-toothed motherfucker walking into... Okay, so there's a picture of him here.
	He's... How old is he?
	14?
	Chase Gray looking like a 13-year-old father.
	Yeah, he's like... He's like... Literally holding a picture of his baby in one of these.
	Yeah.
	You guys didn't see this?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, it's that little baby.
	Oh.
	My man's got a picture.
	He's got that, like, little Lord Fauntleroy bowl cut.
	He's 13 going on 30.
	That, like, tapers down.
	Yeah, when you're when you're eight my my guy my guy is like this is a recent post and he's got a flip phone selfie Just looking so dope when you got kids, you know, you can't afford the new iPhone He's also number one the number one picture with the slide phone like the up sliding up for a keyboard phone He borrowed his friend's sidekick.
	This guy is classic.
	Oh He had to take it on the phone, upload it through dial-up, onto Photobucket, and then pipe it onto his Facebook.
	No, it's true.
	I actually tried what he said.
	I went to a mosque and tried to order a Jesus cake.
	I went to the front of the line.
	Okay, I'm here to pick up a couple of Jesus cake.
	And they wouldn't make it for me and I called the cops and they didn't do anything about it.
	Sounds about like what would happen.
	So... God, what if mosques didn't have bakeries though?
	They'd be sick.
	Okay, this is like, there are at least three things wrong with this.
	Because it's like, yeah, obviously mosques aren't bakeries.
	Nope.
	Second of all, a Jesus cake?
	Don't know what that is.
	It's like the Jesus piece.
	Like, have you ever seen the Jesus piece?
	The band?
	That's an okay band.
	I haven't seen them yet, no.
	Okay.
	Anyway, what are you saying?
	No, the, so a Jesus piece.
	It's a piece of like jewelry that like rappers wear.
	Yeah.
	It's, it's, you know, have you seen that?
	Yes.
	That's what the cake is.
	It's like just a giant, like one foot by two foot.
	And in the middle of that cake is a little baby and whoever gets the baby has good luck for the year.
	Oh, so we're allowed to marry babies now?
	We're allowed to put a little baby on top of this cake?
	No, you're allowed to eat it.
	But not two dudes?
	You're allowed to be blessed with a baby.
	Okay, alright.
	That's what it is, you have to have a baby.
	How are two dudes gonna have a baby?
	Come on!
	You steal one from the Jesus cake!
	And then you shoved up your vagina and hoped that you have a baby.
	Yeah.
	That's good.
	I did good there.
	Okay, and the third thing I want to say is, obviously you don't tell them to make a Jesus cake, you tell them to make a Muhammad cake.
	Yeah.
	It's the obvious.
	Come on, dude.
	How fucking right-wing and stupid are you?
	Like, you're trying to be stupid, but you're not all the way there.
	Bad troll face.
	I'm doing a terrible job at this.
	Like, you're supposed to say, oh, why can't they draw a Muhammad?
	Linda Melton Damarjian has had- she's got a good idea.
	She says, see if they're willing to put a pig picture on it.
	Oh!
	You know, cause of not eating the pork.
	Yeah, no, uh, it's true.
	Muslims don't eat pictures of pigs.
	It's against their religion.
	They don't eat paper at all, actually.
	It's against their religion.
	I used to eat paper when I was, like, eight.
	Or, like, seven.
	Just to sound like I was younger.
	Kids don't do that anymore.
	We're going paperless now.
	Now they lick iPads.
	Well, they took the beef jerky flavor out of the paper, so no one eats it anymore.
	They have to eat bites, and it's just like a funny pun, but they don't actually get to ingest anything.
	No, they just can snick it.
	Smell it for a long time.
	Danny Lee, similar track, says, Okay, every American, go order a bacon on bacon sandwich from a Muslim sandwich shop, then sue them.
	Once again, just to explain things to people, if a Muslim deli is serving bacon to straight couples, that Muslim deli cannot refuse bacon to the gay couple.
	That is how this works.
	They also can't be a Muslim sandwich shop.
	They can be Muslim and have a sandwich shop and not be halal.
	Can you be Muslim and sell bacon?
	Yeah, people do it all the time.
	I think they need to change that.
	Why?
	It's not against their religion to sell bacon.
	No, I think that the religion should change it.
	I think they should make it against their religion to sell bacon.
	Oh, okay, I see what you're saying.
	Yeah, dude, that's the Jew in you.
	Yeah, I'm just trying to figure this all out.
	I'm trying to get the, you know, the bacon for myself.
	But yeah, it's not like these people don't have cake.
	Like, the Muslim deli might not have bacon.
	This company has cake.
	They have wedding cakes that they make for everybody except you.
	Yeah, now if they didn't have wedding cakes, they didn't make wedding cakes is one thing.
	Like, yeah, no one can get a gay wedding cake there now because they don't make wedding cakes at all.
	Imagine walking past that shop and being like, that's, see honey, that's the, The one shop where we can't get a cake.
	Like, it's so easy.
	It's so easy to explain how this is not good.
	I'm so stupid, yeah.
	Activist Mommy, in some reply, was like, well, he won't make Halloween cakes either.
	He's refused to make Halloween cakes.
	And it's like, are you comparing a gay wedding to Halloween?
	Yeah, they're both pagan.
	Both pagan practices.
	They're both for children that grow up.
	Yeah, like you're dressing up as a sexual deviant today.
	Yeah.
	Jesus Christ.
	And then Connie Dye replies to Danny Lee's bacon suggestion, says, different scenario, they fucking don't serve bacon.
	Every asswipe knows that, but this was a fucking bakery selling fucking cakes.
	They asked for a friggin' cake.
	Good thing you're not an attorney.
	And then Danny Lee says, Connie they want serve me bacon at the Muslim deli, you stupid slut.
	Where did that come from?
	I don't even know what he's trying to say.
	Calling her a slut.
	Why did he call her a slut?
	That was so weird.
	He also called the other lesbian couple whores.
	Whores?
	With an apostrophe.
	Well, I like that he gave ellipses after slut.
	Like, he's waiting for her to just be like, yeah, I'm a slut.
	I'll hang out with you because you called me a slut.
	He's naking her right now?
	Okay, let's move on to Cernovich's.
	Briefly, I just got a couple things from what Cernovich posted about this.
	Oh yeah.
	So this is now moving on to specifically the uh case in Oregon.
	Basically a lesbian couple tried to get their wedding cake made by a cake baker called Sweet Cakes by Melissa and uh she said no or her husband said no actually and um Let me just read what Mike Cernovich says here.
	The thumbnail of the video says, The Lesbians Filed a Complaint.
	That's just big Helvetica font on top of a picture, presumably of these two women.
	Which is like, not an unflattering picture of them, it's like kind of a high quality picture.
	I don't know if it's really them.
	I think this might be like stock photos of two evil looking women, you know?
	Smiling smugly at a man in duress.
	Yeah.
	And they look happy.
	Ugh.
	Yeah, that's evil.
	They pleased with their complaints?
	And Mike Thernovitz says, Oregon orders Christian Baker to pay $135,000 to a lesbian couple who claim they were, quote, mentally raped and left with depression after being denied a wedding cake.
	Oh.
	All right, so first things...
	Mentally raped.
	I was only seeing that quote in right-wing news sources, but... Did you find the source of that?
	No, I think it might have been part of the court documents or something.
	Maybe the government said that they were mentally raped.
	No, I doubt it.
	I mean, maybe they said that.
	If they said that, that is a bad, stupid thing to say.
	Yeah.
	There's no such thing as mental rape.
	Unless you rape someone in the ear.
	Otherwise, Oregon orders Christian Bakers to pay $135,000 to lesbian couple.
	$635,000 to lesbian couple.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	What this is referring to is damages.
	In addition to, in addition to ruling that this bakery broke the law by denying this couple services.
	They also took the complaint that was filed by these women and posted it on their Facebook page, including these, this couple's home address and names.
	And so these women got death threats.
	Oh yeah.
	They got constantly harassed in the media.
	This shit spread like wildfire.
	So the, they were awarded damages.
	This bakery wouldn't shut the fuck up about this case.
	They posted it on their Facebook.
	They grandstanded on it.
	They said they were being persecuted.
	They said that they were targeted.
	They said all this.
	They literally made this lesbian couple a target for harassment.
	Yeah, actually.
	And that's why they're paying damages.
	And it's crazy because in looking at this story, every single news source gets this wrong.
	Every single headline is Bakery fined $135,000 for refusing to bake a cake for a gay couple.
	And that's not what happened.
	It's not what's happening yet.
	Like, the damages were awarded as a separate thing.
	Yes.
	As a separate thing for what they fucking did.
	For literal mental damage.
	Because they were harassed.
	Right.
	They're basically giving reparations.
	So like the lead story that all of America has been seeing is...
	This Christian bakery has to pay this lesbian couple who could have easily gotten their cake made somewhere else $135,000 for not making a cake.
	Yeah.
	And that's how, even in like the LA Times, that's how this was reported.
	Yeah, every news source.
	Just glossed over that fact.
	Most news sources.
	Okay.
	It's again, not making a cake is one thing, but they actually, you know, made these people's lives difficult.
	Right.
	Their wedding probably was, you know, It could have been better without this happening.
	It's probably, yeah, cast a three-tiered shadow on it.
	Yeah, yep.
	It's just like, yeah, this is... And it's so fucked, because it's like, yeah, that's such a shitty thing to do.
	I feel like these people should have gotten... They knew what happened wrong, you know?
	These people should have gotten to jail for, like, endangering their lives for posting their fucking address.
	Yeah, that's... It's super fucked.
	That's insanely fucked up.
	Debbie Reese says, This is so fucking wrong.
	I would have made the damn cake, but I promise you those sick fucks would not have liked it.
	This was not a cake issue.
	This was two sick bitches after money.
	Oh, fuck.
	So what Debbie is referring to, she was gonna doodoo in that cake.
	Yeah, she gave him a shitty cake.
	They would not have liked it.
	I could not count the amount of comments I read about people just Foaming at the mouth in order to cum or spit or shit in a cake for this lesbian couple.
	It was really interesting.
	It's mostly dirt freaks.
	Which, by the way, is still a crime.
	Like, that's definitely also a crime.
	Oh yeah.
	It's definitely also an even worse crime.
	Yeah.
	But I love that.
	I promise you these sick fucks wouldn't have liked my doo-doo.
	I would have caused them bodily harm.
	These sick fucks.
	I'm gonna shit in their food.
	They're gross.
	I'm gonna poop.
	These sick fucks for wanting to get married.
	I bet they're real gross, but they'll actually eat my poop.
	Hope they like fudge chocolate.
	Got your glass of lemonade with the... Just the person who thinks that, like, homosexuality is degenerate is fantasizing about emitting bodily fluids into food.
	Feeding shit to a human.
	Yo, that's sexy, dog.
	Okay, last comment on this topic before we move on to something a little more light-hearted.
	Jai Gustafson says, it's only discriminatory if he naked a cake for other lesbians at some time.
	There is no discrimination as long as he refuses all lesbians.
	Lesbians.
	Okay.
	It's sad.
	They probably targeted him, yada yada.
	Listen to this again.
	It's so crazy.
	Let me rewind that.
	Yeah.
	Well, now she's in the fuck back trap.
	There is no discrimination as long as he refuses all lesbians.
	So you just can't discriminate among lesbians.
	So this is, this is like galaxy brain.
	Yeah.
	It's like I said, no, like you're making wedding cakes for everybody.
	That means you can't discriminate against everybody.
	No, you just don't make wedding cakes for all lesbians and then you're good.
	Then you're golden.
	I think this guy's just an idiot.
	Get it?
	He doesn't know, like, what discrimination is.
	So he has his own definition.
	No, but seriously, like, the only reason that these two cases were as successful as they were is because these dumb motherfuckers, these Christian bakers said, I'm not serving you because you're gay.
	Yeah.
	They said it to their faces and that's the only reason that they have a case.
	This shit happens all the time.
	Oh yeah.
	It happens to gay people, it happens to black people, it happens to women, it happens to Mexicans, it happens all the time.
	Just most people don't say why.
	Yeah.
	Most people don't sit there and say to your face- They just say, I have a right to refuse service to you.
	Right.
	That's it.
	Or we're full.
	Yeah, we're full, yeah.
	I'm booked that day.
	Yeah, I can't do it.
	So to any of you pieces of shit listening out there, all you have to do is say, hey, I got a colonoscopy that day.
	Just don't be extra and say it.
	I hope you motherfuckers listening so I can tell you, fuck you.
	Like, the two cases that are successful represent a total shattering of the worldview of these people who seem to think that there's no such thing as discrimination, and why haven't I heard about it before?
	That's why.
	That's exactly why.
	Man.
	They had to say it out- yep, they had to say it out loud.
	Super Mario Galaxy Brain.
	You know they did it in an inconvenient fashion, too.
	You know?
	They weren't just like, no.
	Okay, cool, I'm out, peace.
	They're like, no.
	And no, because... I don't- I don't- I don't, you know, condone what you're doing.
	I don't believe in your marriage.
	Yeah.
	Do your parents know about this?
	Your marriage doesn't exist to me.
	How can I make a keg for it?
	Fuck.
	Okay, so, uh, gotta talk about this story.
	Scotty, I love it when the powerful and the elite just totally fuck up like this.
	You know what I mean?
	I love it when they slip and let you in on what they're doing because Taco Bell made the mistake of accidentally letting all their Illuminati members film a commercial for the restaurant.
	They got a hold of the production company for one day.
	And people are not happy.
	And they let it out.
	They let that out their pipeline.
	That means that the higher-ups in Taco Bell are like, we allow the message to be conveyed.
	I mean, this kind of shows you how big the Illuminati is.
	It's so big that there's no oversight and the bureaucracy inside is kind of fucked up.
	It was just easy to drop the ball and allow Taco Bell to make a commercial exposing your control over the industry.
	It's almost like they're being smug about it.
	They're rubbing it in our faces like, yeah, this is us and we are that.
	What are you going to do about it?
	Yeah, so Taco Bell had a, they have an advertising campaign right now called, uh, hashtag Belluminati.
	Uh, it's just, there's an elite club full of mysterious members who enjoy the finer things in life, and the cost of admission is a dollar.
	And, and you know what's on the dollar, right?
	Illuminati.
	Illuminati.
	The Illuminati's on the dollar.
	And so people... people took this really poorly.
	There's a powerful connection between the dollar and Taco Bell.
	Because it unlocks a world of 20 decadent menu items from breakfast to late night for just a dollar each.
	20 items for a dollar.
	Twenty steps on the pyramid.
	Who's really behind this?
	Is it the Illuminati?
	Or the Bell-Luminati?
	Experience the power of the dollar at Taco Bell.
	One of the posts I grabbed for this was a Facebook page called Truth is Terrorism?
	The acronym for which is, of course, T.I.T.
	And that's just their icon.
	Their icon is just T.I.T.
	What do they mean for T.I.T.?
	Let's read some comments from here.
	Shantara Harris says, How do we protest this commercial?
	My goodness, this is outrageous.
	A real smack in the face, especially when this stuff is really going on.
	The parties?
	She's referring to the Taco Bell Eyes Wide Shut parties.
	We're just like spreading nacho cheese on some guy's thighs, and then some girl comes up and scrapes it off his thigh hair with her teeth.
	And then, like, they all have, like, paper bags with eyeballs cut out.
	Baja Blast, like, douchings.
	Oh, that is so sexy.
	When this stuff is really going on, the parties, like, imagine what Shantara thinks that, like, there's, like, Taco Bell Illuminati parties.
	Yeah, we talked about it already.
	There's nacho cheese being spread on butts.
	I know, and she just really thinks this, though.
	Yeah, it's just really happening.
	And it's frightening.
	Well, it's so fright—it's—the last line's so funny.
	My daughter is terrified of this commercial.
	What is wrong with your daughter?
	We will never eat there again, yeah.
	Get her help!
	There's something else going on here.
	Your daughter's terrified of this commercial because it makes mommy break down.
	It seems to have some sort of power over mommy.
	Okay, Cynthia Claire Hanley Fassler says, Fast food is poison and will eventually kill you or make you so unhealthy that you are dependent on the government to live.
	Quit sugar, GMOs, and any processed food.
	Eat like your great-grandparents did.
	Take back your power.
	That's right, sister.
	That is fucking right.
	Just eat potatoes and dirt like your great-grandparents.
	Fast food is the poison.
	Dried cured meats.
	The Big Brother's feeding us to slow us down.
	Like, sure your great-grandparents fuckin' lived through the Great Depression and ate literal dirt to survive.
	Their fuckin' bodies are made of lead.
	I don't eat anything that I've seen a chemtrail fly over.
	I just, I survive off a millet. - I love it.
	Grown in a cave.
	I don't eat anything with genetics in it.
	No, no genetics.
	Genetic free.
	That's like level 17 vegan.
	GMOs are controlling your brain.
	Steve Larson says, dude, just join the Illuminati.
	It's chill as fuck, bro.
	Not wrong.
	Love that.
	Hashtag Balloonmanati.
	I just listened to 444 again, and it sounds stressful.
	The Illuminati sounds stressful.
	Like he, you know, Hov is going through some shit.
	So, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't sound very chill to me.
	That's great.
	Scott Reddix.
	Says, I was invited to join.
	No idea if real or not.
	About a month ago, promises of vehicles, mansion, thousands of dollars a week pay, and the like.
	I asked, if y'all got all this money to blow, how come you allow so many people to starve to death?
	Haven't heard back from them.
	Boom!
	Got him.
	Got him.
	I don't give back to people that own me.
	Ay.
	Had to do it to him.
	Had to do it to him.
	Ay.
	I had to do it to him.
	Emoji.
	Blowing smoke.
	Nose.
	Arm.
	Flexing.
	Flexing.
	Bicep flexing.
	Bicep flexing emoji.
	Bicep flexing.
	I was invited to join.
	No idea if real or not.
	How did this happen?
	I like to think he got like four pips in an empty envelope in the mail and he just knew what it meant.
	And all it had was just a stamp of the bell on the front of the envelope.
	I was on the train and this man in a suit winked at me.
	I knew what it meant.
	He wanted me to bake a cake for him and his husband.
	I was at Coachella and the gentleman on the stage threw up a diamond in the sky and said Rockefeller.
	He was dark and shrouded in shadow.
	In a Yankees cap.
	I saw this homeless guy on the bus and And he was yelling at me, and he scratched his ass, and then I was like, that's, he's in the Illuminati.
	And then I said, hey, if you guys are so wealthy, how come people are poor?
	You guys are so, if you're so wealthy and you're in the Illuminati, how come?
	I can't even talk.
	About a month ago, promises of vehicles, man, like how long did this conversation go on?
	No idea if real or not.
	What's sad though is this did happen, but it was just like an email.
	It was like, check your credit score.
	You can get vehicles, houses, exclusive club, great benefits.
	And he was like, listen.
	I'm not falling for this sorcery.
	I love just his benevolence, his altruism.
	I'll be honest with you, I could use a mansion.
	I could use a yacht, but not if everybody doesn't get one.
	Haven't heard back from him.
	He's just like the Illuminati.
	You're the one guy that was blocked by the Spam website.
	They reverse blocked you.
	And so Scott Reddick's picture, his profile picture, is like a velvet oil painting, you know, like one of those velvet painting looking things, of a like spooky ghostly Jesus face in outer space Whose head is so close to the earth his nose is almost touching a continent.
	His beard's touching the ocean.
	Yeah, his beard is literally touching the ocean and he's crying a single tear.
	This guy's not real.
	And you can still see like the galaxy through Jesus's forehead.
	I think his timeline or his cover photo is funny because it's just like a bunch of people hanging out in some like random public square.
	Yeah, no, Jesus looks like He almost looks furry, like he's a Jim Henson creation.
	He almost looks like that, uh... The ghost of Christmas present from Jim Henson's Muppet Christmas Carol.
	Just a big old guy.
	The Illuminati was like, Ho!
	Come in, man!
	And know me better!
	And I was like... It's like, hold on.
	That's way too aggressive.
	I can tell you're not an Illuminati.
	I'm not believing this facade.
	I know you need to let me through a wormhole in the Taco Bell drive-thru in order to get into the Belluminati.
	But that's the thing, he heard them, they heard him, and Taco Bell was like, you're right, we do have less money.
	People are starving.
	We need the $1 stacker.
	This is a troll comment though, right?
	That was their answer to you, Scott.
	What are you asking?
	I'm sorry, I interrupted.
	No, it's fine.
	This is a troll comment.
	No, it's not.
	This is a dude.
	Are you sure this is a dude?
	This is a fucking dude.
	Haven't heard back from him.
	I mean, maybe he's trying to make a point about how the Illuminati is stingy and this, like, this is one of those, like, you know, Sarah Huckabees.
	They're stingy, they're just, what's the word I'm looking for?
	Real, like, hook-nosed?
	Real shystery?
	Oh, yep, yep.
	That's it.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, little curly locks coming down their ears, huh?
	Like Jesus.
	Like Jesus did.
	The best part is these people like, this guy thinks he owned the Illuminati.
	Fucking, you guys, got you.
	Speaking of which, have you guys, have you seen the Pooh trailer, the Pooh documentary?
	Uh, no, I haven't watched it yet.
	It looks interesting.
	About a Pooh from the Simpsons?
	Yeah, about how he's like this racist caricature.
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's like, against the Simpsons?
	Who's producing it?
	Is it Harikan and Bulu?
	It is pretty racist.
	He like made it Oh it's yeah super yeah I mean It's a white guy doing In the voice of an Indian guy It's like a caricature It's Hank Azaria Oh my god It's so funny though Cause it's like It's one of the scenes Like it's so obvious But If people It's almost like If people acknowledged It was racist It would be better But just no one really We just grew up without proof.
	Yeah, and it's like... Yeah, things are racist, like... It's not the end of the world, especially if you're white.
	Exactly, exactly!
	It's okay to say things are racist, like it's okay to say you liked a racist thing one time.
	Exactly.
	I hung out with racists when I was 12.
	You were that kid in This is England, huh?
	Yeah, actually.
	Or The Believer, actually.
	Ooh, yeah.
	That's more fitting.
	Good movie.
	Yeah, great movie.
	What I was going to say, my theory about the whole Apu... What's the name of the documentary?
	It's called The Problem with Apu.
	Yeah, so my theory about this, this is going to get some traction.
	It already is kind of getting some traction.
	Fox is going to cancel The Simpsons like they should have done 20 years ago.
	They should have done this 15, 18 years ago.
	It's going to get canceled sooner or later.
	People are going to blame this documentary for canceling it.
	Or they're gonna kill Apu off the show.
	Or some lazy attempt to correct this problem before the whole ship sinks anyway.
	That would be hilarious to see happen.
	And people will be so upset.
	People who have not watched The Simpsons in 15 years will be so upset.
	And blame this Indian man or Pakistani.
	Chill, dude.
	For targeting Apu.
	Hey, he's just Middle Eastern or whatever.
	That's it, right?
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	I'm tired this week, guys.
	Why did I work all week?
	Why did we do this on Friday?
	It's because you refused to join the Illuminati when they offered.
	They only offer it once.
	We did this on Friday because I was really sick all week.
	Oh, that's right.
	And also because life happens.
	Positive plug, if anybody needs a palate cleanser, if you guys have Hulu, the Lucas Bros Moving Co.
	has an amazing episode about Jay-Z and the Illuminati.
	Lucas Bros Moving Co., Jay-Z Illuminati episode, it's the funniest shit.
	Do the Lucas Bros have beards?
	Yes.
	Are they who I'm thinking of?
	I get told I look like them a lot.
	But yeah, that episode's really funny, and it's about Jay-Z and the Illuminati.
	So go watch that.
	You got anything to plug Matt?
	Twin Peaks shop we're doing the pop-up restaurant still for another month in so I guess by the time this airs What month are you doing it?
	January.
	Another two weeks in January of 2018.
	To the end of January.
	Come on out.
	TwinPeaks.shop.
	Find the info out.
	We're doing restaurant, brunch, dinner, lots of crazy gin drinks and mezcal drinks.
	Getting all fucked up.
	There's also tight merch on the website.
	Awesome shit.
	You don't have to go through Showtime.
	Yeah, go through us.
	It's a little better.
	A little more heady.
	And it's tight.
	A little more generational.
	It's tight.
	It's good shit.
	I actually, I like my shirt.
	I'm gonna wear it a lot.
	Yeah, I got these guys some sweet little shirts.
	Thank you very much for that.
	Oh yeah.
	And thank you out there for listening.
	As always, MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
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