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Jan. 3, 2018 - Minion Death Cult

01:12:05

8 - Tipping Point USA

Subscribe. Rate and Review. Witness Minion Death Cult to your impressionable friends and family. This week: A feel-good story about impoverished waitstaff being graced by the patronage of a wealthy, stylish millionaire Also: a TRULY psychopathic Facebook post about chocolate milk and national politics that only gets worse the more you know about it.

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
	So stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
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	We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get this.
	Oh, they're remarkable.
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	Yeah, hi.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	I'm Mountain Meme Man Matt.
	Wow.
	With an addendum.
	Perfect execution.
	I did it myself.
	And I am Tony Boswell.
	I need some AKs.
	He's a Broswell.
	You're the only one going by your, oh, AKA, Chris.
	Crowder Boswell?
	A.k.a.
	Crowder Boswell?
	A.k.a.
	Kraut Helmet Boswell.
	You can't get more government with your name.
	You can't get more official with your nickname.
	Alright, yeah.
	He should be the resident Nazi.
	Okay, yeah, we need a resident Nazi.
	I don't know, maybe, like, maybe not, but... I don't think it has to be.
	Every successful entertainment outlet needs its resident Nazi.
	Yes, typically.
	I don't know if they'd have me is all.
	Well, you can be ours.
	Okay, we are Minion Death Cult.
	Still searching for our resident Nazi.
	The world is ending.
	Your aunt's Facebook feed is responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	So, we're talking about some overlapping things in regards to economics, the tax bill.
	Well, this thing we're going to talk about is basically, it sums it all up in a little real-life scenario.
	Absolutely.
	The first one definitely does.
	We are talking about the viral sensation of a rich man leaving a good tip.
	Oh, man.
	Which is just, you know, in these dark Christmas days, we need something to brighten our moods.
	Something we can all rally behind.
	And so that story, of course, went viral.
	And we were also talking about another less viral story about, you know, just something like...
	Kitchen table economics, right?
	We've all heard this, like, the kitchen table issues, what people care about, and that's... What we bitch about at the kitchen table.
	And that's, you know, what you and your girlfriend or you and your husband sit down at the kitchen table, what you really vote on, and that is, of course, chocolate milk.
	Right, well, you know, because typically, like, I'm, you know, as a male, I'm a Republican, and my girlfriend, she's a Democrat, she's a woman.
	Right, like how all dogs are males.
	Cats are girls.
	And so we fight about...
	You know, all politics.
	Absolutely, and this is like, this is where the rubber meets the road.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so the first story, let's just get right into it.
	We were talking about the headline to this article from foxnews.com was, uh, man leaves $3,000 tip and inspiring holiday message on bill at diner.
	Almost said dinner there.
	Dinner bill.
	Yeah, that's probably dinner.
	This had 34,000 likes on Fox News.
	This is like, it's like basically one of those fluff pieces that just easy, you type up like, I don't know, 300 words, if that.
	On the surface, it is.
	150 words about it, and you get 34,000 likes on it, which is probably a million views.
	Fox News in a nutshell, right?
	It's like the equivalent of a new dog breed being announced.
	Or like scientists named a new crustacean after Eddie Vedder.
	Yeah, something that we all... Did that actually happen?
	Yeah.
	In a perfect socialist world, that would happen.
	But yeah, like those little... Oh, put a little smile on your face.
	Did you hear the good news today?
	Yeah, so uh... And the service, yeah.
	This inspires.
	Fucking raging me.
	Redbook says, according to ABC News, which is an interesting way to report something, that according to another news outlet, a regular customer at the Brief Encounter Cafe, a diner in Bellevue, Washington, left a $3,000 tip over the weekend on a $39 check.
	What a great person.
	What a great guy.
	What a nice person.
	Let's all take a moment to thank man.
	Thank man who leaves $3,000 tip.
	Mean man.
	Mean man left a $3,000 tip.
	Thank you, mean man.
	I love the way that this sentence is constructed because it's, you know, a regular customer left a $3,000 tip over the weekend on a $39 check.
	Yeah, it's not just a thing.
	It wasn't a $6,000 tab and then a $3,000 tip.
	This is exceptional.
	It was even crazier than that.
	and then $3,000 tip.
	It was, this is exceptional.
	It was even crazier than that.
	It's not 15%.
	It's more.
	It's $1,500.
	So Fox News, this is from the Fox News article, Clark, his name was Stuart Clark, I don't have his first name typed out here.
	Stuart Clark sounds right.
	Stuart Clark, the CEO of Aegis Living, left a $3,000 tip on a $39.60 bill without saying anything else to the workers.
	Can you imagine that this guy who made national news, he didn't even say anything to the workers that he had just given $3,000 to?
	So if you're wondering, Aegis Living is an old age home.
	It's a retirement living community called Aegis Living.
	That he's the CEO of?
	That fact will come in due time.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it'll be important later.
	We should cut out what I just said so we can joke about the joke later.
	Staffers were reportedly in tears with several saying the money was needed.
	Oh wow.
	You don't say?
	This is just so wholesome like I love hearing about poor people needing money and then a rich benefactor strolls in uh with with white coat tails and a or no excuse me uh teal sport coat.
	All right it was Mr. Peanut he walked up in there.
	Clark would like to see his act of kindness become a larger movement.
	Quote, we are living in this great time of not connecting with each other whether it's the political situation or whether it's technology.
	Clark told the Today Show.
	You ever notice how like people always be on their cell phones and like they don't like they're connecting you know.
	But they're not really exactly.
	It's rough out there.
	We've now brought in a...
	Like, there's a whole website devoted to missed connections.
	Like, that's what kind of state we're living in.
	It's rough out there.
	What is a person even?
	By the way, we've now introduced the third news source.
	The news source reporting it reported that Fox News reported that he said on...
	Was it...
	On the Today Show.
	So we're layers Yeah, we have Fox News citing the Today Show and Redbook citing ABC News Yeah, I think the reason people like this story is not because of the money but because of the shared connection it's people love just hearing about money like if you just put the the Have you just typed out $3,000 in any news story?
	Like, you're guaranteed clicks because people just like money.
	They like reading about it.
	It's intriguing.
	Like, if you just draw, like, for your friends, like, cheer them up.
	Like, draw a picture of a $100 bill and show it to them.
	People just love that.
	But that's, it's, there's even more to this story.
	I just want to polarize the nation right now and say that if you think this is a heartwarming story, You're fucking stupid.
	You just wait.
	You just wait.
	If you think this is a heartwarming story, you just wait.
	And if this pisses you off, then you're not as dumb as the people that are happy about this.
	Why does it piss you off so much, Matt?
	Because, like, a rich fucker who owns a corporation, right?
	He's the CEO.
	He doesn't own it.
	Okay, he's the CEO.
	He gets a nice stipend from the company.
	He walks in there, drops $3,000 on these people, and they're crying because they fucking needed that money.
	Yeah.
	This is horrendous.
	This is late capitalism in a nutshell.
	Yeah, okay, so, like, I guess good for him that he's manually redistributing a very small percentage of his wealth.
	Yeah, by hand.
	This is the Republican tax plan in a nutshell, basically.
	And this is why Fox News shared it.
	This is why ABC News shared it.
	Bingo.
	This is why Redbook shared it.
	Because A, it is, like, a cool story in a very small way that, like, these people got some money that they desperately needed.
	But this is, like, the economic equivalent to the story Yeah, it's the cop shooting a jumper.
	Exactly.
	Like, okay, cool, a cop didn't murder somebody and get away with it, but also, like, fuck you.
	Yeah, it's the cop shooting a jumper.
	It's the cop on the basketball court, you know?
	Oh, I thought you meant like he was shooting somebody who was trying to commit suicide off a bridge.
	Probably that, too.
	To save him from the sin of suicide.
	It's actually kind of a selfless act, because if he jumps, then he... what, purgatory or hell?
	Something terrible.
	And you murder him to save him from himself.
	I was thinking, like, a cop shooting...
	Someone playing basketball like on a public park.
	This is the tax plan like you give these people all their money That they've you know gleaned from the rest of their employees you let them keep all that money and then Eventually, one of them is going to walk into a diner because A, maybe his Q score is a little low.
	Are we familiar with what a Q rating is here, guys?
	Enlighten me, Alex.
	Your Q rating is when you're a professional, when you're in the public eye, when you're a corporation, when you're a brand name.
	You get a Q rating based on how well-known you are and how well-liked your brand is.
	So this happens to celebrities.
	It's like Black Mirror.
	It's like Black Mirror, basically, in real life.
	What's that shit in China?
	What's that they're gonna roll out, I think, in 2019?
	Oh, rating your interaction with people?
	It's like Yelp for people?
	Yeah, it pipes your social media and your credit score and your online purchases into one thing and people...
	We'll interact with you or not based upon that.
	I don't know what it's called off the top of my head, but it's really fussed.
	It's called the snitch app.
	It's really happening.
	That's what it sounds like.
	Yeah.
	It's really happening and it's going to be governed.
	It's going to be government mandated in China.
	That's not a joke.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it sounds fucking awful, but it doesn't, like, this curating thing has been around since the 60s.
	It's like a public marketing firm owns it or whatever.
	So just, you know, whenever some billionaire, like, needs a little bit of cheap publicity, you can just wander into whatever, like, I don't know, Poor home, halfway house, cheap-ass diner, and just lay down $3,000 and get, I don't know, $500,000 worth of free advertising for his company Aegis Living, which is literally in each of these articles.
	We have a headshot of this man accompanying the headline.
	Next to the receipt that he left and I showed this over the Christmas break.
	I showed this story to my uncle Who's gay and he looks at this guy and he's like, I don't understand like why some gay dudes wear turquoise sport coats And I was and I was like, oh you think he's gay and he was like he just looked at me I was like, yeah, of course he's gay That's funny Is he like a middle-aged dude with like a nice salt and pepper?
	He's gaudy to say the least.
	Yeah.
	He looks like the poster child of like the evil CEO.
	He's the reason it's like, oh, maybe if his salary was a little bit different, maybe the living in these homes would be even better and more affordable.
	He's that.
	But because he's doing this sweet little gesture, you know, High five him and admire him in his- the headshot's crazy.
	This is the way it's gonna go for the next- well, however long this fucking tax plan stays in effect.
	This is not a- Because it will be whenever a company just feels necessary to get great advertisement like this.
	They'll chuck a tip out there, and it's probably a tax write-off, I'm sure, if it's on the company, you know, more or less.
	Oh, I wonder if that's... Actually, no, it's not.
	He probably had to beat a budget.
	The tip is not... It wasn't a business dinner?
	He just had to beat a budget was all.
	He's like, shit, we got to spend $4,000 today.
	So he went and bought a suit, and he took the $4,000.
	But yeah, this is the future.
	I picture him walking into this restaurant with a headshot and just leaving it.
	He left his phone number on the back of the receipt so that they could verify that this tip was intentional.
	And it turns out that's also the phone number that Today's Show used to contact him for this quote.
	Oh, luckily he wrote it on the back of that receipt.
	Yeah, this is all over.
	The man didn't want any recognition.
	Originally, Stuart Clark, CEO of Aegis Living.
	But then he's like, eh, this is making me some money here.
	But this is what they want.
	Servers don't deserve any more money than what wealthy billionaires who need a good Instagram photo decide to give them.
	Right, he probably looked it.
	Homegirls books or her her wage for the year was like, uh, I think she needs just $3,000 more and he walked in there Well, this was to split among all the waitstaff.
	So it's a nice bonus So they got like 300 bucks each which is still you know, a lot of money tight.
	Yeah somebody but which isn't it's nothing $300 is nothing.
	Yeah It's a lot of money in the sense that they have probably very little.
	Right.
	No, I get that.
	But it's not enough to fucking live off of.
	Yeah.
	It's not gonna change your life.
	It's just gonna... Why have jack shit and $300 is one fucking bill, you know?
	So, but whatever.
	But the irony of this is like, you know, the people who are championing this person... Yeah.
	I'm assuming a large amount of them are Christians.
	And what is the famous Christian phrase or the biblical phrase?
	Oh, it's just as easy for a rich man to get into heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.
	It is.
	There you go.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's just that easy.
	Straight up.
	No, it's the one that's like, you know, the rich man gave $20, but he was a rich man and the poor man gave $2, but that was like all he had.
	And you know, the poor man is the one who's like the real person doing a service here.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'm not familiar with that passage, but it's also just a scientific study that's been done that proves that poor people are much more generous with their money than the wealthy.
	Yeah, and the whole thing is like, he should have done this on the hush.
	This is a cool thing.
	This is not a bad thing.
	I mean, it's not cool that he's probably a millionaire.
	Like, that part's not cool.
	But it's cool that these people got money.
	Just like it's not cool that Kid Rock is a millionaire, but it's cool that Josie got some money out of it.
	And then he died.
	In his sleep.
	Is Josie dead?
	Oh yeah, he died in like, 99 or 2000.
	RIP Josie.
	And not the Josie from Saliva.
	No, not that fucking idiot.
	That's Josie.
	But it actually infuriates me.
	Like, I'm glad that they got a little money.
	But, you know, it's... This is fucked and we're at the end of capitalism.
	And it's turning into a monarchy.
	No, it's gonna turn into an oligarchy if it goes the way that...
	The GOP is writing it out to be.
	And it's just, I don't understand the thought process behind the people who back this.
	Like you were talking about how it's, you know, a lot of Christians are backing this.
	You have to be dumb!
	Well, you just have to not, like, rectify the internal contradictions.
	Like, you have to not acknowledge the contradiction of... Only service thoughts.
	These servers, like I saw this comment all throughout this Fox News, you know, post, uh, all these servers work really hard and like it's good that they got this money blah blah blah with no other sort of criticisms about the industry or about our economy.
	Like it's just people are so, I think people are so A, brainwashed.
	B, depressed.
	C, like, what's the word, like, stuck?
	People are so stuck in our current world that they can't possibly imagine a world where people get paid fairly for their work.
	You know, so it's just like, they're obviously subscribed to the Fox News page because they're commenting on this post, you know, at least some of them do, and they don't see the contradiction between, oh, these servers need a lot of money, and they're not getting it.
	Yeah.
	They're just seeing this guy... Need more money, rather.
	They're just seeing this guy, like, you know, basically flex.
	Like, that's what he's basically flexing, you know?
	And the fact that he made such a show about it.
	I mean, he's acting like he's not, but you know what happens if I, like, if there's a world where I can do this, right?
	This happens, I get a phone call somehow.
	They didn't have my number.
	I'm like, oh, no comment.
	Like, whatever.
	Kill this story.
	We don't need to make money off these people who, the story about the people not making money.
	It's that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where it's like, I didn't know I could be anonymous.
	I want to be anonymous.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	I want to be anonymous and then tell people that I'm anonymous.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's a great reference, by the way.
	And even if this is an altruistic thing, I take him at his word.
	The note was like, we were dirt poor growing up, my mom waited tables, I know you guys work hard, hopefully this helps.
	Yeah.
	We don't know the guy.
	could be totally in earnest, there could be no ulterior motive.
	Yes.
	We don't know the guy.
	And it's still a very, like, centrist, Yes.
	Excuse me, liberal thing to do, where...
	Oh yeah.
	I'm just going to voluntarily redistribute a tiny slice of my wealth to assuage my own guilt and not do anything to address like the underlying structures of wage disparity, income inequality, that sort of thing.
	I would love to see the follow-up story where he goes back to ages living, and says, you know what?
	I'm gonna go ahead and cut my suit budget in half, and we're gonna distribute this, and we're actually gonna provide even higher quality care at a more accessible price for the elderly.
	Right, because I should have said- That's a story I want to see.
	I'd like to see that too.
	I misspoke earlier, like I said his suit jacket was turquoise.
	I meant like it's made of turquoise.
	Yes, it is.
	It's all crunchy.
	You could get a lot of money out of this.
	But he definitely, I mean this guy is gaudy.
	He has one of those haircuts- John Gaudi, even.
	He's a person who goes- He goes to a salon and pays like $150 for a haircut.
	And it's not a- I mean, it's a good looking haircut.
	It's a- he looks- I mean, honestly, he looks great.
	He looks gaudy.
	He looks- He's a dad- like, he's a- he's a daddy.
	He looks Jersey-ish.
	Yeah.
	Uh, let me finish this quote from him.
	Okay.
	Uh, I think it's the reason people like this story.
	I think the reason people like this story is not because of the money.
	I still can't get over that.
	People just like hearing about money.
	Yeah.
	I think the reason people like this story is not because of the money, but because of this shared connection.
	Wouldn't it be great if we all fed each other's souls in a positive way?
	And so I feel like...
	Our boy here, what's his last name, Clark, might have an ulterior motive in spreading this sort of like caring for each other or feeding each other propaganda, right?
	Right.
	Because dude runs a retirement home.
	His business is literally... He gets paid money to care for people.
	Right?
	He collects their souls.
	We're living in this... We're living in this time of not connecting.
	You know?
	There's people, like, talking past each other.
	There's people out there who aren't connected to life support.
	We need to get... We need to start connecting these people.
	Connect them!
	Do Wi-Fi life support.
	I was gonna say, yeah, yeah.
	Like, wouldn't it be great if we all fed each other's souls, like, through some sort of tube?
	Like, like a feeding tube.
	There you go, yeah.
	Just pass out some Soylent.
	Some soul Soylent.
	Pipe it up.
	People don't know this.
	If you don't know this, good for you.
	Retirement homes and late in life care homes, assisted living homes, they're expensive.
	They're the biggest hustle in the world.
	And, like, the staff there is underpaid.
	You know, the people living there are living there for way too much and there's guys like this on the top who are just getting paid out the frame.
	And there's, like, all kinds of crazy... If you go into an assisted living home like that, you have to do your due diligence because a lot of these places are fucked.
	I think you've stumbled across the archetype of capitalism.
	Capitalism exists to serve men, people, women, all people who want to just soak money out of everybody and not do shit.
	This is one of the biggest contradictions with Our modern capitalistic system is because of advances in medicine and healthcare, which is the same thing.
	Workplace safety, that sort of thing.
	We're living longer, but capitalism isn't interested in you living longer.
	Not even.
	It'd be better for them if you just died.
	Well, no, no.
	We want you to live longer.
	You set a very low quality to where you have to pay us to make sure you can wake up the next day.
	Yeah, the overhead has to be at a minimum.
	So there's a new Trump regulation.
	It's hard to say whether it's a regulation or a deregulation.
	Either way, it's a rewriting of the regulations.
	And it hasn't gone into effect yet.
	There's like a 30-day process where it's being reviewed by the public before they just go ahead and pass it anyway.
	And basically this regulation is going to allow employers to have full control over every tip that's left at a restaurant and then They will get to redistribute it among their employees.
	Or pipe it into the fucking account of their business.
	Or do whatever they want with it.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	And ostensibly this is for, like, people who work in the back, the cooks, dishwashers and stuff who aren't getting tipped directly.
	Sure.
	It's a way, supposedly, of spreading the tip around.
	Which is ironic because, you know, that's antithetical to our current economic system.
	Yeah.
	But anyway, uh, it's- it's for- it's supposedly for them, but the writing, the drafting is so broad that it allows the employer to do- or the manager to do whatever they want with it.
	Yo, that's fucking stupid because why wouldn't you just give them a typical tip percentage?
	Anyway, why wouldn't you give your busters and your dishwasher and your cooks This percent.
	You can write that into how your business works.
	What do you say?
	Like a separate line on the receipt?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Sure.
	Why not do that?
	Or just... Or just abolish tipping.
	Abolish tipping and pay your employees a fucking living wage.
	That's it.
	And that will change the entire fucking industry.
	Because then you're paying the wages.
	You're not... It is insane.
	It's not.
	You know, it is insane.
	You know, going from my last two bartending jobs, I experienced antithesis of each other, It's the same thing.
	It's this poor people more generous, right?
	I worked at a bar.
	That's a fact, by the way.
	Sorry to interrupt.
	Let me just cite this.
	In 2011, the wealthiest Americans, this is from The Atlantic, In 2011, the wealthiest Americans, those with earnings in the top 20%, contributed on average 1.3% of their income to charity.
	By comparison, Americans at the base of the income pyramid, those at the bottom 20%, donated 3.2% of their income.
	The relative generosity of lower income Americans is accentuated by the fact that unlike middle class and wealthy donors, most of them cannot take advantage of the charitable tax deduction because they do not itemize deductions on their income tax returns.
	Not only are they donating over twice as much of their income to charity, they're not then able to write it off like you are if you're only donating 1.3% of it.
	And it's pound for pound, baby.
	Dude, I love these studies like, like Freakonomics did a study where they just took, like, or they covered a study where just college students took traffic data about people waiting at stop signs and the type of car that they drove.
	And if they drove a nicer car, they were much less likely to yield the right of way to a pedestrian.
	It's just how, that's how you get to be that wealthy is by being a fucking dick, basically.
	Entitlement is a crazy thing that I, I wish I felt, man.
	Fuck, it looks so tight.
	It's crazy because we know the thing is, this could be, this is something that could be used in a positive fashion by somebody out there somewhere.
	But what's going to happen more often is it's going to be taken advantage of and the people who are getting fucked aren't going to be taken seriously.
	And we know that because the people who are getting fucked don't even know they're getting fucked.
	As we see through some of the, you know, the response to these stories.
	I just want to say I am taking something positive from this story.
	It has inspired me.
	What I'm going to do is I'm going to contact United Way and find out which San Bernardino kids my money's going to every week.
	And I'm going to take my pay stub and find one of them on the street and make them hold it up in front of their face and then take a picture of them.
	I am inspired by this story.
	And I'm going to do that every week.
	Please.
	Okay, I want to get into this final part before we get into comments on this.
	Basically, I have another theory about this.
	First of all, with the whole, like, Redbook reporting, according to ABC News, and with Fox News reporting, according to the Today Show, like, this sort of...
	The human centipede of news media that we have really reminds me of, like, I think I've talked about it with you guys before, but just that phenomenon of, like, really underqualified people scamming Today shows and scamming local news to get on TV and tell them that they're, like, a magician.
	Because you need something to book.
	You need some fluff piece.
	Yeah.
	And then the whole tipping regulation about, well, this $3,000, really, with these new regulations, Feeds right back into the owner of the restaurant.
	Right.
	Uh, I feel like this is like some sort of, like, evil, uh, Nathan For You scam.
	Where you make this, you make this tip go viral, which is really easy to do, and then you change the regulations so that the tip actually circulates right back into your pocket.
	Holy shit.
	I swear to God this was a Nathan For You episode.
	I think we saw this, Nathan.
	What is this called?
	This is called Dumb Diner?
	Is that the name of this diner?
	Hold on, hold on.
	I swear to God.
	Dumb Denny's?
	I swear to God there was a Nathan for you with like a tip.
	Yeah.
	No, it's a common fluff piece.
	It's a common fluff piece and Nathan was inspired by this.
	Oh, right.
	Okay.
	Yes.
	Oh, so there was one.
	Yeah, there was one.
	The guy changed his name to, uh, not Cosmo Kramer, the guy who plays him.
	Oh, yeah!
	It was that fucking guy that was a... He was not a Michael Richards impersonator.
	No, no, he was a Cosmo Kramer impersonator.
	He was a Cosmo Kramer impersonator, but they couldn't get... They wanted him to be Michael Richards.
	but he wouldn't change his name legally to Michael Richards.
	Like the whole idea was to get this restaurant publicity.
	And this is like the bizarro Nathan for you, where you just, you give the owner a little taste, you give him maybe a thousand dollars and you get two back. - Oh my God.
	Get it recycled right back in your pocket.
	Let's move on to comments for this.
	Goddamn.
	Okay, so this is from the comment section on Fox News.
	The actual Fox News articles comment section, which I've never been to, but it's pretty amazing.
	Michael Daniel, 77, who is a star special boy leader of this comment section according to his, I don't know, honorific next to his name.
	He says, "Liberal heads are spinning.
	"All of the waitresses were white." Yep.
	Yep, that's exactly the take from this.
	That's why you're heated, right?
	Yeah, there were so many comments that were like, I bet liberals are going to find a way to make this racist.
	I bet liberals are going to just talk about race.
	Yes.
	Oh, I bet liberals are going to comment about the race of the waitresses.
	Which that's like, what?
	That's what this is baiting though.
	They want us to be pissed off race.
	You're like in the comment section of foxnews.com and you still can't shut the fuck up about liberals.
	Or race.
	Yeah, or race.
	None of them are here.
	Like, you're with yourself right now.
	No, but they want us to be pissed and baited about race on this shit, but that's not the fucking inherent issue.
	The inherent issue is the money.
	But look, how does he know all the waitresses were white?
	This is almost like a James Bond villain.
	Like, liberal heads are spinning.
	All of the waitresses were white.
	Yes.
	Like, this person helped stage this, Nathan, for you.
	It was all an attempt to, like, get, like, some liberal on the, you know, on the record as insulting white people for the, you know, three million.
	This is an elaborate, it's okay to tip white people 4chan stunt.
	Well, I'm no liberal, but I'll insult the fuck out of some white people.
	By the way, we are now selling shirts that say, it's okay to tip white people.
	Visit MinionDeathCult.Libsyn.com.
	Yeah, we print them through JackPrince.com.
	You want to read this next one?
	Yeah.
	This one's for you.
	I got this one for you, Mount Matt.
	From Anonymous comes... It wasn't really Anonymous.
	This was the only one that I just copied and pasted because it was before I figured out how to more easily clip it.
	Anyway.
	Well...
	This man was not afraid to give his name is what I'm trying to say.
	This meme man said, $5 for a side of bacon in a breakfast diner?
	You'd think a $9.50 two-egg breakfast would include a couple strips of bacon.
	I guess that's what happens when you let internationalist Jews control the money supply with fiat currency that they can expand anytime they feel like lending out more to governments at interest.
	Yeah, I only tip in Bitcoin.
	Here's .014 of a Bitcoin for you, nurse.
	Or, I mean, waitress.
	No, nurses should also only make the tipped minimum wage, and then we should also just choose whether or not to tip our nurse.
	So they make $13 an hour and we have to tip them?
	No, the tipped minimum wage is like $3.50.
	That's the federal tipped minimum wage.
	Which is crazy.
	It's insane.
	What were you going to say, Tony?
	Well, we all know the huge racket that is the Jewish bacon industry.
	Precisely.
	You know, as a Jew, I hoard all the bacon at Trader Joe's.
	All the bacon ends in pieces.
	I love them.
	Big chunks of bacon, you know?
	Yeah, that's the secret.
	All that uncured shit, I buy it up, and then I pipe it back into the local economy as I see fit.
	At a markup.
	It's because you weird, crazy Jews... Yeah, I gotta think about pork, man.
	You gotta think about pork, and you know how filthy pork is, and you're poisoning the rest of us with this pork.
	Exactly, you're slowing us down.
	Is that it?
	Plus, I'm treating it like, you know, liquor or cannabis.
	Right, just to keep us fueled with pork and under control.
	For the record, that is how I actually feel about pork, and that is why I don't eat it.
	Liberal Wackos, who's another, like, gold-blue leader, like, blue star leader, like, for people who complain about participation trophies, like, they all have little cute honorifics next to their name.
	I think they're, like, how I'm a moderator of the Trap music subreddit, r slash trap music.
	Little plug.
	Are you your moderator on there?
	Yeah, you didn't know that?
	No, I didn't know that.
	Oh yeah, I'd be the one.
	Little plug for Reddit there.
	I'd be that one.
	And I hit a dab right there too.
	Like a, like a, like an idiot 40 year old mom.
	They felt it.
	But I think that like when it's a star blue leader, like you're like a moderator maybe.
	No, it just means you're like a star poster.
	It means you be posted.
	Like you're in there.
	It is nothing.
	It's just a blue star.
	You're in there posted and you deserve a star for it.
	You almost have a full punch card.
	They had to do this because, like, Twitter was just taking away all their commentariat with those blue checks.
	You know, they were dangling those blue check marks over these boomers, like, hey, you do enough Twitter, you'll get this blue verified check, and Fox News was like, we got stars here.
	Stick around.
	It's gonna get crazy.
	Liberal Wackos says, Do the same damn thing for our military when you see them eating.
	Dot dot dot.
	Thanks.
	Dude, I have a- I love this.
	Next time you see a service member at a dinner table, just walk up and throw a few bucks his way.
	Yeah, they'll be real fucking happy with that.
	Just, like, you know, make it rain on them!
	Hey, uh, thanks for your service.
	Hey, the service was excellent.
	And you leave a fiver.
	And smugly make it rain on them.
	With five one dollar bills.
	That is just fucked.
	This guy is a troll.
	You know, fuck these waiters and waitresses.
	I'm gonna say the real terminology.
	I'm not gonna be PC about it and call them non-binary waitstaff.
	I'm gonna call them waiters and waitresses.
	Those aren't the- What service are they providing?
	Oh, food?
	They're not the real heroes.
	Cool, I can get my own food.
	No, service members are the real servers.
	Well, next time I go- They're the ones who served.
	Next time I go to Marie Callender's and I'm gonna go- And at you, and at you have been served.
	What is up with this language?
	Service.
	Thank you for serving.
	Well, it's propaganda.
	I mean, this guy's- Sorry, I inter- No, you're good.
	It was- Maybe it's gonna be funny.
	I don't know.
	Sorry.
	Next time I go to Marie Callender's, like I do.
	Like you do quite often.
	When I go to the tip line on the check, I'm just gonna say, I'm giving your tip to the next service person I see eating at Arby's.
	Like Tony's mom did.
	Dude, for Christmas.
	Oh, I didn't hear this actually.
	Fuck.
	My girlfriend's grandpa did that to her.
	He was like, I made a donation to Wounded Warriors for you.
	Oh cool, that really corrupt organization?
	The worst thing is he said I was gonna do it for you last year but I heard about what the CEO made so I didn't do it last year.
	So I did it this year.
	Why, did the CEO make less this year?
	Is it a different CEO?
	I think so, but I don't think it's a lot of... And he was like, you know, my 23-year-old granddaughter is gonna love, gonna love this gift here.
	Okay, GetTrumpin, another blue Starboy leader, says, CEO of Aegis equals $240,000 per year.
	What a great gesture for the holidays.
	A, I haven't vetted this comment.
	I don't know if that's how much this dude made.
	I don't know where GetTrumpin got his numbers from.
	But then Bugzington replies, your point Skippy.
	Skippy.
	Which is like a diminutive nickname.
	Little pat on the head.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And Chief.
	What's up little guy?
	Chief?
	What are you doing, sport?
	And then Mark875, another star Blue Boy leader, says, And what have you even done, dushbag?
	Dushbag.
	I like that.
	Dushbag.
	It honestly, like, took me a while to figure out that he was trying to say douchebag, because it's D-U-S-8.
	Like, dush looks like it's a word.
	The dushbag, yeah.
	Like, I thought it was dustbag or something.
	And then NCPilot says, I make over $240,000 a year and I have never left a $3,000 tip.
	Why do you want to diss this guy?
	Okay, I'm having a hard time understanding Git Trumpin's point in the beginning.
	Like, will you help me?
	Okay, so this is an honest comment.
	Yeah, I think there's no sarcasm here.
	Git Trumpin thinks that the fact that this guy makes $240K a year and he left a $3,000 tip is a huge gesture because He left that much, or?
	I think it's just saying like, like this dude made enough money so this is like a verifiable story, you know what I mean?
	Exactly.
	Like, like yeah, he's able to contribute this much to society because he met, you know, not realizing that it's a very small slice of what this man actually makes.
	Oh.
	Um, and, and, but everybody else is so defensive about this story because inherently they know what's wrong with it.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Deep down, they know that something's wrong here, and so they're just instantly scanning for sarcasm and instantly ready to jump down this person's throat.
	Oh, you mean us snowflakes?
	They can't even see, like, yo, same team, same team, it's okay.
	Dude's name is Get Trumpin', all caps.
	Yeah, come on, did they even read that?
	But I love, I love, I make over $240,000 a year and I've never left a good tip.
	Yeah.
	Maybe I should.
	This is normal.
	Listen, I make plenty of money.
	I'm still an asshole.
	And then on Facebook, the comment section on Facebook was also real good.
	Mike Collada says, another one of those evil people from the top 1%.
	I'm sure the leftist media will track down an unpaid parking ticket he has from 1987 or a time he didn't wash his hands after using the bathroom.
	Yeah, that's the only thing we can find on these people who are just surrounded in secrecy and power.
	Offshore bank accounts.
	Offshore bank accounts and also just hold people's lives and livelihoods at the palms of their hand.
	The best you can find on these people is that those palms themselves might be a little dirty.
	Yeah.
	Besides what we see on the surface and does this person actually think that this guy is in the top is in the 1% Does he understand what the 1% is?
	240 is and those people don't let themselves be photographed how gnarly the 1% is yeah Like those people have entire like cities where they they like they own the whole city and yes We don't know their name.
	There's that city that the street is- Oh, the Vatican?
	That one, yes, that one.
	There's that city where the street is literally a runway for planes.
	And it's a town.
	It's real.
	They all fly their planes into this place.
	Like Travolta has a place there.
	They all fly their planes into this town where they live and have homes, but they treat the road like a runway and they just have planes.
	They park in there.
	You know those towns where I think- There's probably only one of them.
	I think it's in maybe like Scandinavia or Sweden somewhere where like it's a whole town set up for people with like memory loss and dementia and it's like a fake town.
	It's like a fake town and just everybody is like working there to help these people.
	To help people like live.
	Yeah as like part of their service and you know but it's memory care and it's I feel like maybe that's that's kind of just like How we live.
	These cities aren't real, they're owned by somebody and we're just going about them as if they are real.
	We're their toys.
	Yeah, as if we're changing things and as if there's any purpose in our lives.
	Well, this is their dollhouse and we are their toys.
	Well, that's... Like, the bus stop works and everything.
	Like, it's... That's not... You know, it works in that sense.
	That's not wrong.
	You're not... And again, that's true.
	That's actual what you're saying.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	I mean, you think you're being funny, but, like, we're literally at the mercy and whims of these fucking fuckers.
	I know I'm being funny, first of all.
	Yeah, you're funny.
	The best thing, too, is, like, I haven't seen... I don't think this story was getting dragged.
	People weren't getting on there being like, Fuck this, fuck that, all the servers are white.
	There were a couple people who were just making the same points that we are.
	Yeah, but it wasn't like everyone, but most of these comments are defending it against nobody.
	Absolutely.
	Most of the negative comments were in defense of this guy and not part of a thread.
	Yeah.
	You know, just like, leave it to the liberals to make this about politics.
	And it's like, who are you responding to?
	Who are you talking about?
	This is again that all these people are that t-shirt.
	They are that aggrieved t-shirt that is responding to a statement that nobody made.
	Nobody made, yes.
	What was that shirt?
	My cousin was wearing a grunt style shirt.
	That was a collaboration with a tactical gun company, and all it said was, um, we don't apologize to assholes.
	It's like, who the fuck is we?
	Who are the assholes?
	What are you apologizing for?
	No one wants you to apologize.
	We just don't want you to be around.
	Like, fine.
	That's cool.
	Don't apologize.
	Don't say anything at all.
	Just don't interact.
	Okay, let's go to the the final.
	I guess this will have to be our palate cleanser for the episode.
	Yeah, yeah I mean, who doesn't love this?
	Who doesn't love chocolate milk?
	That's what we're talking about.
	So I want to do like a slow reveal of the information that I gave to you guys over text.
	Oh yeah, buddy.
	Because this is...
	You can be the one to usher that in.
	This is like... I had a real interesting experience with this post.
	This is a Facebook post, and it goes... I love chocolate milk.
	I've loved chocolate milk all my life.
	Here's my brief history with chocolate milk.
	Age 3.
	Tastes chocolate milk for the first time without knowing what it is.
	Mind blown.
	Age 5.
	A trip to the grocery store with my parents reveals that chocolate milk is something you can buy at the store all the time.
	Trips to the grocery store become more important than ever.
	And at this point, I'm like, this is like, you know, reasonably well written.
	This is like, I'm like, okay, this is a wholesome post about chocolate milk.
	Like, I'm liking it.
	You know, it's compellingly written.
	Yeah, and you kind of relate to it.
	So I can't quite relate to this one, but it's still wholesome in my mind.
	You know, it doesn't ring as true, but... Yeah, hot chocolate is sick when you're camping.
	No one can really deny that.
	hot and that what was already a fantastic thing camping is now even better so i can't quite relate to this one uh but it's still wholesome in my mind you know it doesn't ring as true but yeah hot chocolate is sick when you're camping no one can really deny that you can get that we wrap our heads around this Yeah.
	Okay, still totally reasonable.
	Yeah.
	Totally reasonable man writing this.
	for recovering after a workout.
	Yeah.
	Didn't need more reasons to love it, but always good to add to the list.
	Okay, still totally reasonable.
	Yeah.
	Totally reasonable man writing this.
	This is where it kind of goes off the rails.
	Age 42.
	From 17 to 42.
	Oh shit, this is a 42 year old man writing this post about chocolate milk.
	Okay.
	Frontal cortex developed.
	Had a kid.
	Things have changed and both in this man's life and in my life while I'm reading this.
	Age 42.
	Give Joshua, not Josh by the way, Joshua to imply that it's a young boy.
	Biblical.
	Biblical boy.
	Give Joshua his first taste of chocolate milk.
	Proud to see my boy follow in the family footsteps, but worried about the new competition for the household's chocolate milk supply.
	Okay.
	Haha, funny joke, but also weird to be proud that your son also likes a tasty, delicious beverage that he's been trained to like since birth.
	And making these competition jokes, that's fucking weird.
	It's just, it, that struck me weird.
	That's like, that's like wholesome, like, clean comedy material.
	I hope my kid can, can, can usurp my place in the throne someday.
	Well, that's just like, I love my chocolate milk, and my kids are gonna have to get through me to get my, it's like, so corny.
	Well, I guess I grew up without my dad in my home, so it's different.
	No, this is how dads talk about chocolate milk in the house.
	Oh, I get it now.
	Yeah, this is one of the main reasons you have a dad, so you can learn about competition for the chocolate milk.
	Sorry, dude.
	Joshua hit puberty soon, and I saw him looking at his mom kind of funny.
	I might have to beat him up soon.
	I might have to drink his chocolate milk in front of him.
	I might have to assert my dominance.
	I might have to drink in front of him.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	It gets weirder, folks.
	I've had decades of chocolate milk experience.
	That's why the Obama administration's actions in 2012 felt like a personal attack.
	They forced regulations onto schools that took chocolate milk off lunch menus.
	Dude, I gave this- okay, never mind.
	I was just gonna say, I gave this to my girlfriend to read and like I watched her read it and then she got to that paragraph and I watched her face change and be like, what the fuck?
	Yeah, it kind of comes out of left field.
	You're like, whoa.
	And there's more turns to this story, folks.
	Yep, that's right.
	No chocolate milk at lunchtime.
	That would be bad enough.
	It was made worse by the fact that those regulations cost schools billions because they made lunches more expensive.
	Earlier this month, Secretary Perdue and President Trump rolled back these regulations.
	Thank goodness.
	As a supporter of chocolate milk and an opponent of regulations, I'm grateful.
	Great work, Mr. Secretary and Mr. President.
	The next time you come to Missouri, there's a chocolate milk with your name on it.
	Real quick, before I forget.
	I'm pretty sure, like, if you have...
	Regular milk and chocolate milk on your menu.
	It's gonna be... What was he saying?
	It was gonna make it more expensive.
	To remove an item from your inventory is more expensive.
	To not buy more chocolate milk is really just more expensive.
	With this red tape and this bureaucracy, the government makes it more expensive to not buy something.
	Yeah, they'll put up roadblocks, make you sign more paperwork.
	Sorry sir, there's a no chocolate milk tax you have to pay now.
	If you have two thin bowls full of water and you put lemon juice in one, that one is going to be more expensive than the other one.
	And that's literally the argument, like that's what, we have milk and milk, and you put chocolate in one, that chocolate milk's more expensive.
	Okay, so that's one of the many things that's wrong with this.
	The other thing is, none of this happened.
	None of this happened.
	Kids still have chocolate milk.
	They always had chocolate milk.
	You guys want me to read the regulation for the food standards of 2010?
	You got it.
	Limits milk served to non-fat flavored milk Chocolate, strawberry, whatever freaky flavors you guys got out there.
	Whoa!
	Limits milk served to non-fat flavored milk or 1% white milk.
	Yeah, there it is.
	Literally this did not happen.
	Did not happen.
	This is fake news.
	Yeah.
	Yep, that's right.
	No chocolate milk at lunchtime.
	Nope, that's wrong, you're lying.
	We should also say, so after we already decided to talk about this post, because this post was, I viewed this post as a screen cap.
	Yeah.
	So I didn't, this wasn't a clickable link, nothing.
	You had to find this post?
	I found this post by, no, and the only reason I found this post, the only reason I was able to find this post by typing in this man's name, is because this man is named Eric Greitens, and he's the fucking governor of Missouri.
	Boom!
	Fuck!
	I've been waiting for this moment, honestly, because this show is about Facebook, ostensibly.
	It's about the internet, it's about regular people's expression of politics and the way they synthesize it into their daily lives, but there's nothing More indicative of our weird-ass fucking universe that we live in than when a politician makes an angry aunt or an angry uncle Facebook post on their professional public profile.
	Yes.
	Like when you...
	When you share a joke about protesters getting run over by vehicles and how funny that is on your, you know, state senator Facebook page.
	Did that happen?
	Yeah, I can't remember if it was a state senator or not.
	That happens all the time.
	I don't even want to know.
	Sheriffs laughing about black men dying in the street openly in comment sections.
	All the time.
	Yeah, I'm really glad I'm not on Facebook.
	It is the perfect expression of, you know, just regular America.
	Regular America engaging in politics.
	I feel like what happened here is that one day Joshua came home and his dad was like, so how was chocolate milk at school today?
	And Joshua was like, oh, I had regular milk today.
	And the only way that's possible is if Obama outlawed chocolate milk, because we're a chocolate milk household.
	You know, he immediately let out an Obama!
	It's kind of ironic that Obama took the chocolate out, am I right?
	It's literally the only thing he has in common with his son.
	They once both liked chocolate milk.
	And his son is five now, and those days are over.
	Those days are over.
	He wants to have something in common with his kid, so he'll beat his kid into submission and tell him, you love chocolate milk!
	And his kid will be like, Dad, I love chocolate milk.
	And then, you know, he goes one day, like you said, Tony, he gets white milk because he wants to get white milk because he's a sentient human.
	Right, and he answers the question that his dad asks every day when he picks him up.
	He said, how was the chocolate milk?
	He's like, oh, dad, I had white milk today.
	He's like, why'd you have white milk, son?
	And then he was forced to lie.
	And he could only come up with one explanation that, you know, his dad could relate to and is that Obama Hold it from the lunch shelf.
	This is from the mind of a child.
	This is like a story from the imagination of an innocent youth.
	The evil president is going to take away my chocolate milk.
	And poor Joshua is like, Dad, I don't like bologna and chocolate at the same time.
	It's weird to me.
	I like chocolate milk, but just not for lunch.
	Okay, dad.
	Is that cool?
	It's fine for breakfast with like my waffle.
	Yeah, but cereal.
	Pour it on my cereal.
	So we had to make all this up just to, you know, protect his ass because dad gets real mad when you don't drink chocolate milk.
	Literally a governor of a state He's posting on Facebook about a war on chocolate milk.
	He's a troll.
	He's a paid troll.
	This is real life.
	This is 2017.
	Look at your face.
	Alex's face just questioned the entire existence of humanity.
	My eyes searched the entire cosmos for something to say and I couldn't find it.
	He did!
	He did!
	I watched it.
	I think that's a first for this show.
	What the fuck is up with the right-wing and milk-based politics?
	This is a thing.
	No, totally.
	Yeah.
	Milk is wholesome.
	Milk is hearty.
	You drink a glass of milk because it's good for your bones.
	It's from a cow.
	It's not no goddamn soy milk.
	It's real.
	It's America.
	What color is it, Tony?
	It's very white.
	Okay.
	I was holding up my W West Coast fingers for Tony to say that milk is white.
	And it's white.
	Okay, so you have the anti-vegan right wing.
	That's where it is.
	That's one of them.
	That's what I'm thinking.
	That's one of them.
	The alt-right section that believes that soy causes, like, estrogen to seep into your titties.
	Man titties.
	And make them, you know, express on your chest.
	Dude, if dudes had tits, they'd be better.
	But anyway.
	Objectively better.
	And three, there's the sort of, like, openly racist part of the alt-right who literally drinks milk to show their supremacy over black people who don't process lactose as well.
	Exactly, yeah.
	These are milk-based politics.
	This shit is, like I said- It's not- It's real!
	Kitchen table politics, alright?
	This is- And it's like, Christ.
	This is what you do with your spouse, you know, you have a long day of work and you go home and you share a glass of milk and revel in the fact that just not everybody is able to do this.
	You know what I saw not too long ago?
	There's certain people that you see in the wild and you're like, I'm going to stay away from this person.
	This was a man walking down the street, very regular, very milquetoast man.
	Just walking down, not in a very residential area.
	It was pretty hot out.
	It was probably high 80s.
	Drinking out of a large glass.
	Just drinking milk.
	Are you sure you weren't watching Anchorman?
	No, because it was a glass.
	It was a glass, not a carton.
	It wasn't even a carton.
	And he was just drinking.
	A road glass.
	That's tight.
	That's a baller move.
	You were not close to any home.
	- Like a high ball?
	- Yeah, you were not close to any home.
	It was like downtown. - So that milk had to have been like environment temperature.
	I mean, it shows your authority over... I don't know, your authority over the inanimate object that you kind of don't give a fuck if the glass makes it back home.
	I just want to know what that mentality is like.
	You're like, I got more of these at home, baby.
	I'm rolling in them.
	Smash!
	You just gulp it down and fucking throw it at the ground.
	Can you imagine just being like, take a road milk.
	Have a road milk.
	I wish it was like an old-timey mason jar, you know, from the pack that was left on his doorstep, and he just picked one up on the way out.
	That would be awesome, because then they'd have like a lip where it wouldn't spill as easily, but if you're walking with this glass of milk, it's gonna spill a little bit.
	The whole thing was just crazy.
	I'm like, I'm not, I'm not gonna associate with this person.
	Do you think that, uh, you mentioned that, you know, the milk is white, right?
	Do you think that this is, again, like, um...
	We're going to eat bacon that's been cooked on the muzzle of a rifle to own Islam?
	Totally.
	Is this like, fuck you calling me milquetoast.
	Yeah.
	Even though that's a different word.
	Fuck you calling me milky chalky boy or whatever.
	I'm going to own it.
	I'm going to be deplorable.
	You call me deplorable, I'm going to start a group called deplorables.
	First of all, you call me milky white, that's all I'm going to drink from now on.
	You say I don't like spicy food, you're right.
	Well, you said Milky Chalky Boy, and I think we're gonna coin that right now.
	Milky Chalky Boy.
	Milky Chalky Boy.
	And that's a new racial slur against whites, and I'm gonna use it all the time.
	Fucking Chalky Boy over here.
	I'm so proud to have coined a slur.
	Like, imagine hating school lunch regulations.
	What controls the quality of the food that your fucking child ingests?
	Obama.
	Imagine hating that sort of oversight and regulation so much, That you concoct this elaborate, homespun, you know, wives' tale story about growing up with chocolate milk.
	Yeah.
	I just love chocolate milk and that's why I hate red tape.
	Yep, exactly.
	It's insane.
	It's crazy.
	And it's just, it's what they do.
	They make arguments out of nothing.
	They're taking away my culture.
	I remember being three years old and getting my first taste of Limited liability pass-through entity.
	Hey, I take resentment to that shit, bro.
	And ever since then, I've just been in love with them.
	And then I found out, you know what?
	They get taxed at their personal income rate.
	Yeah, dude!
	And that's not right.
	And I'm like, what's up with that?
	I seriously don't really take offense to that.
	That was perfect, though.
	But it's also not even that because it's a fake thing.
	It's like a conspiracy theory.
	It's made up.
	It's like, when I was three years old, I used to look at the family cemetery and think, man, I can't wait to be in there.
	But then I found out that Obama's got these FEMA coffins he's gonna bury us in?
	And that's not cool, bro!
	It's not cool.
	They're made of plywood instead of porcelain.
	FEMA coffins.
	Fucking shit.
	You've seen the FEMA coffins?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Is that real?
	It's, they were, they were actual, were they coffins?
	I'm sure they were probably real cheap coffins.
	No, it was like plastic.
	It was like plastic molds.
	Like bathtubs.
	Yeah, it was like a bin or like a, it wasn't, it was, it was not a coffin.
	It was somebody, it was something manufactured and distributed by FEMA.
	Somebody saw it on the back of a truck.
	Of a FEMA truck?
	It said that it was a FEMA truck.
	A truck?
	I can't remember.
	There's like a picture of it online.
	The one picture of it that's been circulating.
	Okay, let's get to comments on this.
	Jeremy Gipton says, Is America based in liberty or permission?
	Nuff said.
	Yep.
	Nuff said.
	That sentence totally, that rhetorical question totally made sense.
	Fixed it.
	Ended all questions about the government.
	Is America based in liberty or permission?
	Is America based in permission?
	I don't think so.
	No, seriously, I do have to hand it to the Missourians because they were just fucking rocking this dude on every single post of his Facebook page.
	Because I have to say, I forgot to talk about this, so... You mean rocking in the way we like it or in the way that they like it?
	No, in the way that we like it.
	Like, they were fucking him up in the comments section.
	Oh, really?
	Like, almost every top comment was just, like, blasting him.
	Yeah.
	Because this dude, so a little background on Eric Greitens.
	So he's a piece of shit, basically, who won't expand Medicare, won't expand Medicaid, rather, which was part of the Obama administration.
	It's free money.
	It's free money for poor people from the federal government that we've already paid into.
	We've already paid this money to the government.
	And he refuses to take it for his people just on principle.
	Right.
	Like, they might die, uh, but at least, like, like, children, literally, children might die, but at least they'll have their choice of, like, flavor dust packet to be squeezed into their mouth as they're dying.
	You know what I mean?
	That's what real freedom, that's what real choice is.
	Like, you're gonna die, but at least you can, like, get a flavor extract dripped into your tongue in your last moments.
	Or, like, heroin.
	No, heroin's, no.
	It's too expensive, huh?
	No, because literally, this dude took money, this dude, Eric Greitens, had a surplus in money for the Children's Health Insurance It's the CHIP program.
	Yeah, program.
	So, CHIP program is redundant.
	That's what I blame for not knowing what the PSTN's for.
	He had excess money for the Children's Health Insurance Program, decided to take that money and spend it on a way to track possible drug offenders.
	Because it's within the umbrella of that entity.
	To appropriate it.
	So don't give it to the kids that are dying.
	Just don't, because they should die.
	Literally, take money that was going to go to medication for these people, and put it towards taking medication away from other people.
	Don't only withhold money from kids, also use that money to then rip medication away from people who already have it.
	Be proactive with your money.
	This is what they talk about when they talk about diversifying your portfolio.
	Make your money make money for you.
	And it's also like the way he's doing that is he's paying a specific insurance company who donated to his campaign who are going to be overseeing this program.
	It's one hand watching the other.
	This is their answer to the opioid crisis.
	Let's see who's using the most pills and then smash them with the hammer.
	Well yeah, then they'll go to jail and then they'll be part of the prison industrial complex and that'll make more money.
	Beautiful.
	So this dude is, like, pretending to care about a child's choice in chocolate milk while simultaneously withholding healthcare from actual children.
	It's insane.
	Like, this fills me with a very specific kind of rage.
	This is the worst thing is that a lot of the times these bullshit Facebook posts, these are people who are just talking out of their ass.
	This guy actually can do something.
	Oh yes!
	This guy actually has a good amount of power here.
	And he just talks out of his ass.
	And he's just talking out of his ass and doing the opposite.
	But you know what though?
	I do wonder, do they have chocolate milk in Missouri?
	In the schools?
	Yeah, according to this comment section.
	I'm pretty sure all lunch programs have it.
	And it doesn't matter because they were always allowed to have it.
	So if they didn't, then it was because that school decided against it.
	And you probably would hear about that kind of shit.
	Like, chocolate milk removed from all school lunch programs.
	I'm sure that would be an actual story.
	Yeah, Facebook has this thing that I just discovered today.
	When it's a politician's Facebook page, it knows whether or not you're a constituent of that politician.
	Like whether you're in that politician's district based on the city that you claim is your hometown.
	Uh-uh.
	No thank you.
	Well I'm just saying you put it you plug your hometown city in there that's what it bases it off of.
	So it's like a very there's like a verified uh what's like roman column building.
	Okay.
	Like a congressional building check mark next to your name when you're commenting on this.
	So there were people in the from Missouri who were either dragging this dude or saying you know like Oh, that's cool.
	I like chocolate milk too.
	It's insane how milquetoast and banal this post is in comparison to what it's actually espousing.
	The top comment was like, Are you really talking about chocolate milk instead of, like, getting children health insurance?
	Yeah.
	Is this, like, are you fucking crazy?
	Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
	And it was, she... He's just, he's a goon.
	He's a page thief.
	She lived in Missouri, she had that checkmark next to her name, and, uh, she had the top comment, and then here were some replies.
	Keith Geisler says, uh oh, looks like somebody was triggered.
	Run to your safe space where no ideas are discussed that you don't already agree with and maybe eat a Snickers.
	Oh, you know, so she can calm down.
	Ugh.
	She literally fucking owned this dude who was crying about not getting chocolate milk.
	Dude made a fucking Facebook post on his business page, basically.
	It's his jobs page.
	Yeah, it's his public entity page.
	Crying about fucking chocolate milk.
	Can you think of a more childish beverage than a chocolate milk?
	Literally, it would be tit milk.
	The only thing that regresses farther than that is boob milk.
	His actual breast milk, yeah.
	It is the poster child for a child's drink, and he's crying about not getting it.
	And when you make fun of him, the response to that is, oh, I guess little baby needs her safe space.
	Yeah, I mean, it's enough to make one go insane, Alex.
	It's enough to make someone go absolutely crazy in this society we live in.
	Did you get triggered by a grown man crying about chocolate milk?
	And it's like, actually, yes, I kinda did.
	I got triggered by a guy that was triggered about chocolate milk, and then now you're triggered because I was triggered.
	This kinda fuckin' blew my mind.
	Yeah, it's pretty wild.
	Talk about mind-blown.
	Yeah.
	Uh, Douglas McDaniel, also replying to, uh, Tracy, says, You are on the wrong side of history, Tracy.
	Like, imagine having somebody, like, talk about- I forgot we're talking about chocolate milk right now.
	Right?
	Like, imagine having somebody, like, supporting the idea of healthcare for poor children, and another person telling them that they're on the wrong side of history.
	Yep.
	Sorry for you, Tracy.
	In defense of a chocolate milk post that's a clandestine way to strip children of healthcare.
	Rob Hobart says Tracy and Heather are deliberately missing the point, which I've noticed is a standard response of all leftists to things they don't like.
	Gritin's in the best governor we've had in my lifetime.
	The fact that he infuriates people like you two is icing on the cake.
	And I just want to say that my one qualm with this post is that the fact that he infuriates these people is not the icing on the cake.
	That's the filling.
	That's the base.
	That is the cake.
	And it's the cake.
	It's the icing.
	It's everything.
	This dude has no fucking clue what Robert, what Eric Greitens has done in his 12 months in office.
	Nope.
	Eric Brighton's made it a right-to-work state and he denied children health care funding.
	That's all he's fucking done.
	The real icing on the cake is the fact that he makes these people mad and that makes you happy while you're getting screwed by him the whole time.
	That's the real icing.
	Yeah, that is absolutely the icing.
	Trish Mitchell says, I love chocolate milk too.
	Thanks for keeping it real, Governor.
	Which is one of my favorite comments.
	Thanks for keeping it real.
	Some people are afraid to really speak their minds in politics.
	Has this person's policies been poll tested?
	Have they really fleshed out their idea?
	But this dude just shoots from the hip.
	I like chocolate milk, and I don't give a fuck who knows it.
	And it's like no one's saying fuck chocolate milk.
	We're not saying that.
	No, I'm saying that.
	We would never say fuck chocolate milk.
	Chocolate milk is delicious.
	I'm gonna get some chocolate cashew milk on the way home.
	Oh, that's fire.
	Dude, that chocolate cashew milk is... Oh my god, I drank a whole fucking carton of that in one night, one time.
	I swear I did it.
	Alright, final comment, because we've got to wrap it up, and I'm glad we're doing it on this bright note.
	Carrie Kaylor, which, did this dude typo his own name?
	Probably not.
	Is that a real name?
	Kaylor?
	Yeah, I guess so.
	Carrie Kaylor.
	Carrie Kaylord says, This is the greatest ad I have seen.
	Hashtag love it.
	Hashtag gritens.
	Hashtag chocolate milk.
	Hashtag Israel.
	Hashtag MAGA.
	Whoa, that's what you call a real American.
	This is what you call a callback.
	To a couple episodes ago.
	You have a hashtag shortcut ready to go.
	You copy and paste that on everything.
	It's just on your clipboard the whole time.
	It's like Carrie Kayler is paid by Minion Death Cult to be a troll in comments.
	Just remind people of previous episodes.
	Hey, if you haven't listened to it, listen to Christmas 2.
	Alright, that's it for the episode.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	Thank you guys.
	Once again, write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
	Let us know what we got wrong.
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	Go listen to That Awful Sound also.
	Yeah, I host another podcast called That Awful Sound if you haven't listened to it yet.
	It's a great show.
	We had a very fun episode, Christmas episode, about the unimaginably terrible Christmas shoes.
	Tony was on it.
	It's a good one.
	It was a good one.
	We had fun with that one.
	One of my favorite episodes that we've done.
	It kind of talks a lot about what we're talking about today, about charitable giving through capitalism.
	The holidays bring out this theme.
	They really do.
	And then I believe the newest episode that just dropped is Christina Aguilera's Genie in a Bottle, which we finally covered after 130 episodes.
	That one's a fun one.
	Recommend the show to your friends, please.
	Help spread the word of this show.
	That's it.
	Thanks for listening.
	Love you guys.
	Thank you.
	Did you want to plug something?
	You know, I didn't want to plug anything, but I did want to, you know, a little RIP, a little memory of Don Hogan Charles.
	He passed away today.
	He's a very important photographer.
	He was actually the first black photographer hired by the New York Times.
	He's taken some really iconic photos that we all know.
	He took the infamous Malcolm X in the window with the salt rifle photo.
	He really brought a vision to the media.
	He was really the first, one of the first black photographers in media ever.
	So we lost him today and just kind of... He brought like a very like human It's photography from just a human's perspective.
	A guy on the street.
	He pioneered street photography.
	He really showed America through the lens of a black man holding a camera.
	So kind of like that humans from New York guy.
	There is no humans from New York without Don Charles.
	I'm going to have to check this guy out.
	Shout out to him, a memory to him.
	Also, Twin Peaks, I work for... pretty much for Twin Peaks, a company I work for has the license and we have an awesome... Not the band.
	Huh?
	Not the band.
	No, not the band Twin Peaks, the fucking godly TV show.
	We have an awesome pop-up happening in...
	West Hollywood right now, so come check it out.
	We got a really cool tapas, brunch menu, awesome drink menu.
	Cast members are stopping by all the time.
	It's all Twin Peaks themed stuff.
	Amazingly built out Twin Peaks pop-up.
	I'm a huge fan.
	If you're a huge fan, you're gonna fucking love it because it's amazing.
	Where do they go to find the address?
	Oh, go to TwinPeaks.shop.
	And, uh, find the information for the reservations there.
	Find some really badass merchandise.
	Really heady, millennial-designed Twin Peaks merchandise.
	And, uh, yeah.
	Get in on that.
	Go there.
	Cool.
	Thanks for listening, guys.
	Love you, bye.

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