This week: Why aren't millennials tearing down statues of Kevin Spacey? A Soundcloud rapper tries to score listens off the #metoo campaign. Members of The ACTUALLY FREE Speech Deplorables Facebook group go full galaxy brain in their defense of Roy Moore. Alex Jones celebrates a family Thanksgiving and triggers cardiologists everywhere. Please subscribe, rate and review, and share the show. Send us suggestions or your family's baggage at twitter.com/miniondeathcult Facebook.com/miniondeathcult or MinionDeathCult@gmail.com
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We are analyzing politics through a deranged internet.
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Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show.
How do you feel being on a show you've never heard of before?
It's interesting.
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I guess it just feels like hanging out except with like foam in my face.
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That's the best part of a good podcast is like you're hanging out with like phallic shit in front of your face.
So, we are a podcast that analyzes politics and media once it has been consumed and then regurgitated by real Americans.
Okay, so we are gonna be Our topic for today is the Me Too sexual assault awareness campaign that happened on social media.
And, you know, we're also talking about the Roy Moore Senate campaign that's happening in real life and amazing.
And we will also be talking about Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving content that was unavoidable this week.
It was rough.
Let's just get right into it.
So the MeToo campaign, the hashtag MeToo campaign, was a sexual awareness campaign that happened on Twitter, Facebook, probably Instagram.
For sure Instagram, yeah.
And this was, you know, I was, just today I was watching, out of the corner of my eye, MSNBC.
They were talking about how amazing it was that this was all happening, especially in relation to Senator Al Franken and the most recent allegations against him.
And it's obvious the only reason that it is happening is because women on social media took the initiative to start this campaign and to speak out.
And if it weren't for those women pushing this issue, it never would have happened.
MSNBC wouldn't have done this.
CNN wouldn't have done this.
As it hasn't happened.
Exactly.
It's been through organization solely like they the women in in in the in the capital have been organizing for months and they put a it was basically like a like a I don't want to say manifest because that usually has some connotation but it's like basically a a message signed by Hundreds of women in politics and just saying that, you know, we're aware of the problems and we're not going to take this shit anymore.
Yeah, we'll see if it gets any traction in, you know, on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's not any kind of bill or anything.
It's basically like a letter to the people, but it's just badass.
It just shows how organized everyone is that's doing this and it's fucking sick.
Well, Me Too campaign actually started about like 10 years ago.
Um, I can't, hold on.
I didn't wear my glasses.
Activist Tarana Burke, she started it because she was speaking to a young girl who was sharing some experiences, like opening up to her.
So she was talking to her about this and she was sharing her all of this crazy shit and she was like, well, she thought it was pretty heavy and something that she wasn't able to just kind of handle with what she was experienced with.
So she referred her to another counselor and she just saw this girl that poured her heart out to her just kind of take everything back in and just kind of shut it into herself again and like as she was walking away like she just wanted to tell her like hey you know me too I've experienced that too but she didn't she didn't get a chance to so she started that as a as like a way for women to just kind of come together and just like Yeah, I've experienced it too and just be there for each other.
Really important to share that Atrana is a woman of color.
That is something that's kind of ignored in that part, but she's a woman of color.
She wasn't doing this for clout.
She was doing this as a movement.
So this this this Me Too campaign has been I think I've seen kind of a nice step forward when it comes to inclusivity I'm seeing a lot of cool things about like although it's still in there, but you know this is Like, it's more inclusive than previous movements.
Trads don't fuck with it.
So fuck them, because they're terrible people.
So like, that's cool.
It's a beautiful step forward in the inclusivity of the movement.
So yeah, that is definitely something to be noted.
Yeah, so now that we've talked about, you know, the beautiful inclusivity of the movement, we can talk about the garbage response to it.
Because this is, you know, like I said, this is a comedy podcast.
This is a very heavy subject.
We've got to know what they think, too, dude.
We've got to be able to understand both sides of this.
Or try to.
Oh, I'm being completely sarcastic.
That's completely sarcastic, by the way.
Yeah, well, if we don't get any understanding, at least we have preserved these documents for future court dates, you know what I mean?
We have on a record where we stand.
And obviously, this isn't a partisan issue.
It's insane to me to see, because this podcast is probably going to mostly focus on the right wing and how deranged they are, but it's not just limited to the right wing, and obviously sexual assault isn't just limited to the right wing or the left wing, it also happens in the center.
So, the oddest thing was that the first kind of big takedowns, as far as I can tell, of the MeToo campaign were Hollywood elites.
You know, it was Harvey Weinstein.
He's still probably the biggest figure in this.
Right, it's referred to as the post-Weinstein era.
It is, I've seen that.
Yeah, he was like the first big break, I guess.
You've seen this rush on the right wing to acknowledge that a rape culture exists as long as it's located entirely within Hollywood.
As long as it's located entirely in democratic circles.
Yes, of course there's a rape culture.
Of course women are harassed.
Of course there's pedophilia, but only Hillary Clinton does it.
Exactly.
Only Hollywood liberals, man.
The fuckers.
If he donated money the other way, as we've seen with things like O'Reilly, we've seen this happen with other people.
Yeah, Ailes, Roger Ailes.
They have jobs again.
They have good paying jobs again.
Well, they'll never need a job again.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I mean, Roger Ailes is a more powerful figure than Harvey Weinstein ever was.
Absolutely.
And he had to be fucking booted from his own company.
They get fat checks to leave their companies.
I was waiting to see what that noun was going to be.
Huge.
Fat described.
Because, first of all, all these people that are being dragged deserve to be dragged and they should really be punished.
We should give it to them.
But the biggest difference is House of Cards doesn't get renewed for a season.
Moore is still possibly going to be elected to office.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
There's no excusing.
They should never win here.
But we're seeing someone win.
We're seeing someone literally probably win an office.
I mean, it kind of makes sense when you think about it, though, because people care more about what happens on House of Cards than they do what happens in the Senate.
House of Cards is real politics to more people than the actual Senate is.
Isn't that sad?
It kind of makes sense.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, now it is.
Well, I was just gonna say that, like, of course Moore's gonna possibly get elected.
We fucking had Trump get elected, and he fucking... The Access Hollywood tapes.
He's the poster boy.
He invented this.
He's the poster boy of Locker Room Talk.
He's the poster boy, exactly.
He invented it.
Okay, yeah, we'll get into the Roy Moore thing in the middle.
Yeah, yeah.
So, the first thing I have here that's just really funny to me is, uh, it's a meme I found in one of these right-wing groups that shows the Kevin Spacey star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and in, you know, bright white impact font, top text, liberals aren't ripping these down, bottom text, like they did Confederate statues.
Yeah, why aren't those liberals ripping down the floor?
Why aren't they ripping down the sidewalk?
There must be a reason for it.
Please tear it down.
Mr. Hollywood, tear down this sidewalk.
Like, why are they bringing the Confederate statues into this at all?
Because they love them.
They love them.
They love them, huh?
No, for sure.
They fucking love that shit.
They love statues.
That is their heritage.
Their heritage is disgusting.
They're not racist, they're just statue enthusiasts.
They just appreciate a good statue.
Also, dude, because I know this person's a dude, um, you didn't need the second line.
You knew what you meant.
You fucking knew what you meant.
Yeah, but it just should, it should just say bottom text.
Yeah, the meme generator makes you, makes you fill it in with something.
No, you're just gonna say bottom text.
Yeah, it should just say bottom text, is what I'm saying.
We know you were talking about the Confederate statues and the American flag that we continue to disrespect.
We knew that.
I also, look, this dude literally got ripped off of his million dollar TV show.
He got dragged out of Netflix by the scruff of his neck.
But they're like, fuck, what does Kevin Spacey still have that we can try to point to?
He's got that like 20 year old star that nobody gives a shit about.
It looks like someone was trying to fuck it up in this picture anyway.
It's all like cracked.
So like maybe someone did.
Okay, the next thing I have here on the docket that was really amazing.
This is kind of just a random swath of shit that I found.
It is a sort of collage meme of Putin.
Vladimir Putin.
It's a four frame collage and the top left one is Putin literally going in for a kiss on a baby, on a toddler.
And the next one he's shaking hands with a four year old girl in his skirt.
He's kneeling down with a coat over his shoulder like he's literally going to Washington.
He's like, I'd like to make a business proposition for you.
And then the next one, he's in a karate gi?
Or, well, I don't know.
Krav Maga gi?
What do they study in Russia?
He does, like, jujitsu, I think.
He would probably claim he does them all.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, so he's in one of those all-purpose gis.
Is he signing a yearbook?
Oh.
Oh wow, he definitely is signing some sort of book or notebook, possibly a yearbook.
I think it's like her pootin' trapper keeper.
He's just signing it for her.
And then the next one is him interacting with the same four-year-old girl from the top right meme, but instead he's patting her on the head.
So I guess they couldn't find a fourth interaction with a child?
They just took two snaps from this single interaction.
But the reason for this meme, you might be wondering, why the fuck is Putin in all these kiddy memes?
The top left image has also probably impact font top text.
Putin says no way to Bottom text, U.S.
pedophilia problem as he's going in for a kiss with a baby underneath, which is amazing.
And then this is juxtaposed with a headline that says, Putin signs bill that bars U.S.
adoptions, upending families.
So if you couldn't tell, this is a negative headline.
Upending families is a negative phrase.
Yeah.
That's not a good thing.
The actual, you know, content of this piece is how Putin just unilaterally cancelled US adoptions of Russian children.
And it cuts off, but it was because of increased sanctions.
It's because Obama increased sanctions on Russia back in 2012 when this article was posted.
Yeah, it was literally him saying like, cool, you know, you won't buy our whatever, you can't have our babies.
Yeah, we're gonna be the ones to starve these babies.
I'm the number one export to you.
This person's so petty that he's like, fuck kids.
No, really.
Yeah, literally.
Fuck kids.
They suck.
But according to this meme, he did it because he knew that five years into the future, there was going to be an overwhelming pedophilia problem unveiled into the world.
Dude.
Dude, Rasputin is his fucking, is his like, you know, his guy.
Oh, right.
He connected to the spiritual, the astral plane.
Well, he's a relative of him.
Like, they're like related.
Tight.
It's just a stretch.
They're just really taking a stretch here.
It's a huge stretch.
It's an amazing stretch that I love so much.
It's like, oh, there's a story about Putin and kids.
Let's connect this to pedophilia in a positive way.
One of the funniest things about it, so people, you might remember the infamous meeting between Donald Trump Jr.
and the Russian intermediary that he interacted with through email and he invited Jared Kirshner to, and that's one of the big things that The Probe is concentrating on.
That was about Russian adoptions.
Yeah.
That was about reinstating the Russian adoption policy, and they lured Donald Trump there, Donald Trump Jr.
there, with promises of dirt on Hillary Clinton.
Yep.
And they were like, let's talk about these kids.
So it's really interesting that the Right wants to bring up this subject again.
Yeah.
Did we have anything else on the Me Too?
You had that Puffin meme.
Oh, yeah.
Lord love a hateful Puffin meme.
Yeah.
Bring that fire.
The Me Too campaign is dangerous.
It encourages people to publicly accuse others of sexual assault without proof.
Yeah, no, I agree with that.
I feel like women should have to videotape their assaults and then put them online for us to see, like, from a neutral perspective so we can analyze these, you know, these horrible videos that I think they should have to post.
Like, why didn't you save the fingerprints?
If you bring a physical proof, it expedites the process of getting through your case, so yeah.
Like those rape kits.
Right, if you get the physical proof, then that way your rape kit can sit dormant for ten years in a police facility.
So, if you don't know this meme, this is commonly referred to as Unpopular Opinion Puffin.
That's the name of this meme.
So this person's like...
Hot take here.
Unpopular opinion.
Unpopular opinion, Puffin.
I just want to play devil's advocate.
I don't want to be the one that says, but should we really trust women?
I mean, really?
I feel like there should also be like an actually alligator.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's start it right now.
They need to use a more modern meme.
Oh my gosh.
It's good.
It's great podcasting.
Yeah.
Can you do a more modern meme, man?
If they used a more modern meme, like the Kermit meme, that might have a little more cachet with it.
No, I mean, it literally is the Kermit meme because it's like them sipping on tea and saying sexual assault.
That's none of my business.
Yeah.
Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah, it's basically.
Okay.
Uh, anything else from the Me Too?
That one I think kind of leads nicely into the Mona Lisa one.
Oh, yeah.
It's really hard to understand.
Yeah, but it's the same thing.
It's the Mona Lisa one.
A lot of these discussions we're having are not mutually exclusive by any means.
Mutually exclusive?
What do you mean by that?
They're not.
The three topics we're talking about today?
Oh, you know, a Me Too situation.
Yeah, absolutely.
It probably, even though it didn't happen on social media, those women were probably emboldened by the campaign.
I mean, that's me speaking a lot for them.
What they're calling out is the validity of these claims, right?
And this Roy Moore meme of Mona Lisa, where Mona Lisa has been photoshopped to look It's like a cartoon rendering of Fiona from Shrek.
It's like a Fiona from Shrek mashup with Mona Lisa.
So this Mona Lisa is like the the ogre that Fiona turns into whenever she appears on the Deplorables Facebook group.
It's ogre Mona Lisa for sure.
And she's saying, I just remembered that Roy Moore groped me too.
As in to say... Oh, there's no way Roy Moore would grope Ogre Mona Lisa.
Because look at her.
Look at her.
She's not my ideal... She doesn't look like a woman to look, so there's no way no one else would touch her.
That didn't even register with me, but that's totally what it is.
I was like, why does Mona Lisa look all weird and like a sponge?
It's insane.
According to these people, Women who don't fit your type of partner don't get touched.
They don't have sexual assault.
Which we know is exactly the opposite because trans women, who most of the people that we're talking about today would at least claim to find reprehensible, are the most At most risk of sexual assault.
Absolutely.
And murder lately.
So yeah, it's insane.
It's all these things.
If you don't find them attractive, if they're not valid, it's Usher.
Oh no, dude.
There's no way Usher had sex with that woman.
She's quote-unquote overweight.
There's no way.
Yeah, that's a crazy mindset to be in.
It's like, you don't know Usher.
Let's be real.
One of the highest ranked Pornhub searches is BBW.
One of the highest ranked Pornhub searches is BBW.
That's a fact.
So get out of here with that.
The oldest art sculpture of all time, the Venus of Wallendorf, is a voluptuous, big, beautiful maternal woman.
I mean, that's, you know what I mean?
That's the woman right there.
That's the woman.
The woman.
If your reaction to sexual assault is to make a cartoon meme, questioning the validity of it, something is really wrong with your brain.
These are the battle lines, bro.
Yeah.
Anything else from the Me Too?
I'm gonna give us a shot.
It might be a bit much.
Might be a bit heavy.
Might be a bit heavy.
I'm gonna give us a shot.
I'm gonna try to flesh this out.
It might be a bit heavy.
You're just working on this bit.
You gotta workshop the bit.
It's not a bit.
It's just like a brutal ass observation.
So, Roy Moore is being accused of Having... Wait, are you going into rowing more right now?
That's what that means.
There is one more.
Me too.
There is one more.
Okay.
Oh, I'm going to give this a shot.
If it doesn't work, it might not work.
Chop it up.
Um, so he's being accused of having romantic relationships with underage girls.
We're talking 12, 14, 16, multiple cases, right?
Yeah.
Very, very romantic molestations.
The Mona Lisa is an adult woman, I think probably somewhere in her mid-late twenties.
A lot of times, eating disorders are a result of being sexually assaulted at a young age.
So, this is so fucking egregious.
To make, to like, oh, there's no way that this person groped this person, you know, had assaulted this other person when they were much younger.
Like, you don't know.
Yeah, there are like... These people are so ignorant.
Dude, pedophilia is rampant.
I thought we had fathomed the depths and then you were like, no, the Mariana Trench is right over there.
It's over there.
These people are worse than we thought.
Yeah, I mean pedophilia is a real deal fucking thing.
And things like, you know, biodysmorphia and eating disorders and having and just being...
You know, affected by it later on in life is huge.
We're all affected by how we were as kids.
We'll get into that later.
There's a lot of things with the Roy Moore and just accusers in general, but you had one more thing.
It's that little, another little collage.
Oh, the text?
Yeah.
Fuck.
So like it's which one is this uh it's the dude that like says that stupid it's like a twitter conversation no that's a that's a different segment that's the next segment that's me too though that's no that's the next segment we're going to go into right now which is Hashtag, what about me too?
Oh, that's right.
Right.
Okay.
So this is, uh, these are, we thought we had reached, we thought we had reached galaxy brain with like the Mona Lisa meme.
Uh, no, these, these are the spiciest takes.
These are, these are the biggest winners, uh, in our, in our me too category here.
Um, The first one I want to do, just because it's kind of a standalone one, is this musician, this rapper known as Masta Disasta.
Spell that, Alex.
Disasta is D-I-Z-A-S-T-A.
Yeah, it is.
And his logo is Masta Disasta in like a... what's the name of it?
It's like, you know, the Smash Mouth Fush You Man fake Asian font.
What is that called?
There's a name for it.
Anyway, so it's that.
Massive Disaster is in that.
And then there's Ninja Throwing Stars behind him, which is just great.
Stop it.
And then his, I guess the name of the album or something is Two Week Notice, which... You know he doesn't give a two week notice.
This motherfucker doesn't give two week notice.
You can't fire me.
Here's my two week notice.
Why'd he name it that?
Because he doesn't clock in anymore, man.
He's quitting his day job.
Oh, I get it.
Yeah.
I was going to say that this post we're about to read is, uh, technically his two week notice from whatever job he might've been employed at.
Hopefully, hopefully.
Because it says, uh, you know, who's a musician that won't overdose joke about rape or sexually assault children?
Me.
If you're against the drug overdose epidemic and celebrity sexual assault cases, go follow my SoundCloud!
Yeah!
And then he links to it, you know, or don't if you're into that sort of shit.
What the fuck?
This guy's a dumbass.
So not only is he, like, is he, is he taking, you know, is he co-opting the Me Too campaign, he's also co-opting Lil Pump's death.
Or Lil Peep's death.
Wait, what?
Oh, because he overdosed.
Because he overdosed, yeah.
Fucked up shit.
If you're against the drug overdose epidemic, listen to a rapper who won't overdose.
That's how you're gonna help, I guess?
I should have looked it up and listened to it.
Yeah.
No, do not give him listens.
Yeah, that's probably better you didn't.
But like, what the fuck?
Through solidarity, if you want to show solidarity that you hate universally unacceptable things, listen to my SoundCloud.
That's like the post on Facebook where people are like, hey, if you don't post this in five minutes, you love cancer.
I like the Charles Manson one where it's like, would you let me into your home?
And it's like, you know, it's, it's trolling people that don't know what Manson looks like.
And it's supposed to be Jesus.
And it's like one like equals one prayer.
RIP to Uncle Charlie also, by the way.
No, I love, I love the ones that are, uh, conversations between the devil and Jesus about whether or not like the Facebook user will just scroll on by this post or whether they will actually like the post.
Oh, Facebook's demographic, unfortunately, is mostly 55-year-old people.
Ambiguously racist ants.
Yeah, absolutely.
And that's like half of this show.
Actually, it's fortunate.
Yeah, it's our fodder.
What am I talking about?
But this guy's also like, yo, listen ladies, I know y'all got sexually assaulted, but guess what?
I didn't sexual assault anybody.
That you know.
Sucks to be you, but big ups to me.
Listen to my SoundCloud.
I don't overdose on drugs.
I do drugs, I just don't overdose on them.
He only doesn't overdose on drugs because not that many people have subscribed to his SoundCloud yet.
Not all rappers.
Once I can afford the drugs, I might overdose on the drugs.
I love that.
It's like that guy that dropped a roofie into your drink.
He's got a sound cloud.
Don't listen to it.
That guy who grabbed your ass while you were walking by.
He's got a sound cloud.
You know who else does?
This guy.
And we're on opposite sides of the country.
There's no way I could have grabbed your ass.
It's impossible.
Did you just grab my ass?
Yeah, no, that's amazing.
This dude, yeah, that's a new level of woke.
Yeah, this guy's fucked.
Next one I want to talk about is some guy named Jeffrey Miller in a rare Twitter segment on this show.
This is at Primal Polly if you want to follow this guy or say something to him.
Please do.
Women have been coming out to reveal sexual harassment.
But, we also need to hear from conservative, libertarian, and Christian students brave enough to reveal ideological harassment when their views have been reviled, mocked, and dismissed in college classrooms.
You can't, I mean... Insane.
Yeah.
I mean, Christian students in a fucking college classroom, like, you know, it's rough.
You know, go to CBU if you really want to, you know, A safe space?
Fuckin' shit, yeah, if you want a safe space.
Yeah, you know, I mean, yeah, sure, sure, being raped is bad, but have you ever been owned?
Intellectually and mentally owned, man?
Sucks.
A lot.
It's brave to stand up and reveal the most damaging moment in your life, but it's also brave to stand up in your classroom and call women who use birth control sluts and scabs on the ass of the American taxpayer.
Do that, dude.
You can.
They're different, but they're equal types of bravery.
You might have been sexually assaulted, but did you throw yourselves in the firing line in front of that clinic to save a life?
Me and my rifle did.
Fuck.
Wanna talk about Brave?
Try printing out pictures of dismembered fetuses at Kinko's.
You get some looks.
You get some looks.
I mean, these people, it's weird, I mean, hopefully they are, but they think that they're the minority.
They think that they're being punished.
That's so crucial to their politics.
That sort of complex, that sort of persecution complex is their entire strength.
They want to be victims.
They think that in this one nation under God, their God's not being... And I'm like, I have to try to explain to my kid, like, ah, you don't really have to say that, like, it's cool.
You don't have to say that, you know, because we don't do the whole God thing.
So you don't have to say that, but they're going to want you to say that, all of them, you know, the oppressed minority of Christians who have it so hard in this country.
So you were saying they want to be victims, like in the face of actual victim, victimization and actual physical violence.
They are so desperate to be victims that they cite like ideological disagreements as being victimized.
Let's go to this next meme.
Oh, the one?
Yeah.
Oh, the one.
This guy's funny.
This is a beloved thing that I barely remembered at the last second to include in this episode because I posted about it on my personal timeline months ago.
This guy's a real deal dink.
I gotta find it real quick.
Goddammit.
It's newer, huh?
It's the newest one.
Alright, cool.
So, we aren't fortunate enough to know this guy's Twitter handle, but... Well, it's a Facebook post, and this first post is by a woman.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay, the first one.
Alright, so it's Me Too.
If all the people who have been sexually harassed wrote Me Too as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem, which is basically the fundamental thing that is Me Too camping.
That phrase is literally the best copypasta that's ever existed.
It's like the only positive copypasta.
Yeah, it's a good definition of what the campaign is.
And then some guy chimes in and is like, don't forget the other side of the spectrum though.
And then this person says, which is what?
And he says, those that are sexually ignored.
This powder looking motherfucker in the thumbnail.
He's like, I'm sexually ignored.
He looks so sad in this fucking, in this profile picture, and it's just, it's amazing.
Maybe he's hoping to get some action off letting people know.
The other side, literally the other side of the spectrum is people who don't get to be assaulted.
You have your people who, you know, on one side that like, yeah, they get assaulted, but what about those of us who don't?
And you know, that just goes back into the whole, like, if you're not pretty or if you don't fit the stereotype of someone that would be sexually assaulted, then you're just pretty much left out of it.
That's a really good point.
You know what?
Maybe you just suck, dude.
Maybe you smell bad.
But the implication here is that women who get assaulted are receiving sexual attention and he's not.
He's like, I want some too.
But, like, it's Darwinism, though.
Like, if you're not hot and you suck and you can't get a mate because you fucking suck, like, you don't get to have kids.
Okay, so, no, literally, ladies, giving a guy blue balls, that is literally sexual violence.
It's literally sexual pain.
Does that get used in real life?
Does that occur in real life?
Does that get used in real life?
I've had that said to me many times.
It's gonna hurt me later.
Oh, no, I have blue balls.
Thanks a lot.
And I'm just like, you don't know how to masturbate?
Yeah, no, dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's not true either way.
No, like, yeah.
I don't think I've ever really experienced this so-called harsh blue balls.
It's not a real thing.
It's all those stupid movies like in the 90s, like American Pie and all that like jerking off in weird places type of shit.
South Park.
Yeah, yep.
Getting people like comfortable with the idea that it's okay to talk like that, it's okay to treat women like that and it's always been there but it's like The bro culture.
Yeah, the blue balls, like, don't make me laugh, dude.
You're gonna go home and fuck your anime pillow in five minutes.
Yeah.
That's the problem with comedy!
It's like, it's powerful, man!
If it's in the wrong hand, some dickhead's gonna get vetted on his fucking... This poor guy, this poor guy doesn't realize that he's not getting ignored, he's just wearing a lot of camouflage.
And it's working.
Yeah, dude.
It really is, yeah.
He wears some sort of camo jacket.
Camo, like, hoodie, jacket thing.
If he would just wear some regular clothes... He's probably got matching cargo shorts.
Yeah.
I was gonna say, maybe this guy's John Cena, but John Cena's awesome, this guy's awesome.
Oh yeah, John Cena's phenomenal, yeah.
John Cena would never say shit like that.
There will be no bad things about John Cena.
Maybe he's actually like a ghost.
Maybe he's a ghost contacting us from beyond the grave and that's why he's not getting laid.
What a twist!
He's a digital ghost, dude.
I have unfinished business!
I have spiritual blue balls!
Ectoplasm everywhere!
Okay, let's move on to the Roy Moore Alabama Senate race.
I'm gonna give a little bit of background, put my serious face on, just to describe sort of the allegations against him and the implications of this Senate race.
The Washington Post broke a story about Roy Moore describing accounts from multiple women who alleged the judge, because he was a judge, Judge Roy Moore, had inappropriate contact with them when they were in their teens, some as young as 14, and he was in his 30s.
The most egregious case, it's hard to kind of say, but one of the two most egregious cases is the account of him molesting a 14-year-old when he was 32 years old and the district attorney.
No, I know this happened when she was 14.
This specific case happened when she was 14.
He was 32.
The woman has several friends who corroborate her story from the time period that it happened, one of which who actually knew it to be Roy Moore specifically.
The other woman just knew that her 14-year-old friend, when they were probably both around 14, had relationships with a very older man.
Like I said, several women have stepped forward though.
One of the other egregious cases is Beverly Young Nelson, who alleges that when she was 16, she was violently assaulted by Roy Moore, who tried to get her to perform sex acts on him.
The craziest thing about this story is she has a fucking yearbook signed by Roy Moore.
It's the most proof in the pudding.
Yeah, do we have the quote from the yearbook?
I don't know what it says.
Hold on.
I just can't read the cursive.
Okay, let me see.
Here.
Why did he sign her yearbook?
Because he's fucking sick.
Because nobody cared.
Is this the one where he went to her school?
He went to her school and got called on an intercom?
I don't know about this.
What happened?
- I think this is the same person, dude.
- So he made advances at her.
She refused him.
I guess it was fairly physical.
- He called the school.
- I'm definitely like, and then he called the school to talk to her.
The school she went to, to talk to her.
Didn't he go to the school?
I know for sure he called the school and had her come to the office to talk to him.
Yeah, and talk on the phone to him.
That is some psycho shit.
Yeah, and this is something that was written off by a lot of people as, well, he might not have been physical, it was just romantic.
There's nothing romantic about being stalked.
That is so gross.
He's just old-fashioned, you know, and by old-fashioned we mean like Old Testament.
Like old-fashioned like Neolithic era.
By old-fashioned, yeah, old-fashioned in the sense that he was like giving these girls whiskey.
I was waiting for some kind of whiskey joke, dude.
Oh my god.
Okay, so this is the woman who was 14 when the assault happened.
I have a quote here from The New Yorker, I believe.
Korfman, that's her last name, says she had voted for Republicans in the past three presidential elections, including for Donald Trump in 2016.
She says she thought of confronting Moore personally for years and almost came forward publicly during his first campaign for state Supreme Court in 2000, but decided against it.
Her two children were still in school then, and she worried about how it would affect them.
She also was concerned that her background, three divorces and a messy financial history, might undermine her credibility.
This is why women don't come forward, because when they do, they get accused of being from the opposition party, they get accused of being sluts, they get accused of being liars, they get accused of being money-grubbing individuals.
But I think if there's any comfort to take in this, It's that this woman has sort of already a perfect background.
She voted for Donald Trump.
Roy Moore is like the Donald Trump of this Alabama Senate race.
She voted for him, and that doesn't matter to his defenders.
To his defenders, she is still just a Democratic operative.
She's still only doing it because she hates Republicans.
So if there's anything to take away from this, it doesn't matter how good of a person you are, or it doesn't matter what your past actions are, because people are just going to lie about you anyway and make up shit.
So A, that's why women don't come forward.
But B, it might also be that there's no perfect victim ever, and so that maybe is a reason to come forward.
Fuck dude.
There's this other one that's like just talking about people don't believe I think it's some sort of conspiracy because we all really really care about what's gonna happen in that race that this conspiracy has been going on for you know decades um there's the one with With uh, Tim Allen?
That's Tim Allen right?
Where is this conversation?
Is this a different conversation?
I can't find this in the Roy Moore conversation.
It's early in the year.
Oh it's not loading on my laptop then.
So it's Tim Allen giving kind of like a Told Ya So look?
Like in a leather jacket?
What movie is that from?
I have no clue.
Is that the joke?
It's from Old Dogs.
Is that the joke?
What?
Because I don't understand this meme at all.
But the text says it all.
I mean, the right wing loves Tim Allen.
It's just a picture of him kind of giving a total disloyal look.
Well, he's a funny conservative man, so he's very frightening to us liberals.
And he's very victimized as a conservative man.
Yeah.
They put the coke in his nose.
They made him do it.
So the text... I wish I could do the Tim Allen, like, grunt.
Oh, nailed it.
Damn, that was really good.
So the text says, these women suddenly remember being with Rohmore, top text, bottom text, a month before the election.
Like, kind of, that's the look he's giving you, like, a month before the election?
No, that's actually just Botox.
Plumped his forehead out really wide.
That's why he's the perfect meme.
He's always shocked.
Topic, yeah.
No, this is just, uh, it's just one of those things like, you must be a special kind of stupid.
Yeah.
That's all this meme is.
They just picked Tim Allen because, like, the implants in his face arch his eyebrows just the right way to give a condescending look.
To be like, why now?
Isn't it weird they're all coming out and that leads into the Mona Lisa one?
Isn't it weird that all of a sudden now you remember?
It's like, oh actually, that's exactly how that happens often.
That sounds real familiar.
I thought that was just a fucking nightmare I had again and again.
Just because she didn't tell you personally doesn't mean she didn't remember it until now.
Oh, exactly.
And a lot of times, like after something like that happens, like women will think like, oh shit, well, what did I do to, what did I do to bring this on?
Like, did I, did I mislead them?
Did I do this?
Did I like, what did I do?
Like you, like sometimes they'll want to like find something that put them at fault for being in that situation.
Because it's probably easier to just shut up about it and not have to address it, not have to talk about it, not have to put yourself out there.
I mean, I'm not saying it's easy in itself, but it's probably less painful to just turn on yourself almost.
Well, and some of these people are like in positions where you have to interact with them daily.
Yeah.
So you know what?
Fuck it.
I'll just not say anything.
I'll just avoid that person.
I'll... whatever.
Because the Puffin said that if you do not have evidence...
You are not credible, and what the Puffin says is unpopular at times, but you know... I love the idea that, going back to the Puffin thing, I love the idea that you're not allowed to make an accusation unless you yourself have proof.
Yeah man, that's toxic to contribute that to the conversation.
Like, you get robbed, and you go to the police station to report it, and they're like, okay, well, do you have fingerprints?
Do you have a slit?
Did he cut you?
Are you wearing a body cam?
Can you show me the items that they stole from you?
Is your car parked out front?
Can you show me what your car looks like?
No, they fucking stole it.
And then, okay, another fucking insane quote from Roy Moore.
So he's been asked, do you date teenagers?
Did you date teenagers?
And he said something along the lines of, I didn't usually date teenagers.
Shut up.
I dabbled in grownups.
He's a good Christian.
He cannot tell a lie.
Not a true, not a full lie.
And this quote I have verbatim that says, I never dated any girl without the permission of her mother.
Yep.
There it is.
No, you know what actually?
Okay, so growing up there was this girl that I hung out with and there was this other guy that I used to hang out with and he was much much older than her.
He was like 18 and she was like 14.
Her parents knew about it.
Her parents were cool as shit with it.
Fuckin' weird.
Yeah.
Still not 30.
Yeah.
Still not 30.
Still not 30.
But still, 14 and 19?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The keyword here, or the, I don't know, the key element of this is I asked the permission of her mother.
Any girl who isn't able to give her own permission legally, out of bounds.
It's not statutory rape if I had the consent of the person who signs her documents.
I did this the right way.
I became her legal guardian.
Like Ted Nugent.
Oh no, dude.
That's real shit.
That's real shit.
Fuck that guy.
I fucking hate Ted Nugent.
Man, fuck you and we don't need to listen to Ted Nugent.
Fuck Ted Nugent.
Fuck him.
Sorry.
I don't listen to Ted anymore because he's...
Stranglehold is tight, but that's like, that's it.
It is tight, but that song is horrible!
The lyrics are horrible!
I vowed only to listen to Stranglehold.
That's my sacrifice.
That's my favorite track from him too, but the lyrics are fucking horrendous.
What about, have you heard Jailbait?
Dude, I don't listen to Nuge anymore because he's such a fucking piece of shit.
Every time you wanna listen to Stranglehold, listen to Stranglehold, but then donate like a dollar to the ACLU.
Yeah, every time.
And then two dollars to Planned Parenthood.
Then you won't listen to it so much, will you?
No, I actually do a monthly donation.
I get to listen to 10 Ted Nugent songs every month.
10 bucks a month.
10 Ted Nugent songs.
It's a playlist.
It's just Stranglehold over and over again.
I have it set up on my...
On my Spotify to only let me play it so many times.
Yeah, it's like the New York Times.
They give you a little alert.
You've listened to nine of your possible 10 Ted Nugent songs this month.
But yes, got legal guardianship over it.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's a true story, folks.
He's nasty.
Okay, so this Deplorables Facebook group that I joined is not the true Deplorables group.
This is an offshoot.
Oh, this is the AA League Deplorables or what?
Just listen, I can't describe it any better than this does right here.
Okay, the Deplorables Facebook group.
The true Deplorables group with capitalized free speech.
Unlike my former Deplorables group.
That I grew from 3 members to 523,000 members in 68 days but no longer honors free speech posts.
Got kicked out of his own forum.
Saying him again because he's definitely a he.
How do you get kicked out of a deplorables group for free speech?
Oh man.
You must have been pretty fucking deplorable.
Must have been saying some gnarly shit.
Yeah, I can't even imagine what could be said.
Maybe black people aren't so bad.
That's better than having sex with a fucking 14-year-old girl.
So Trump's response to this Roy Moore... The thing about the Roy Moore Senate race is that it actually puts the balance of the Senate in jeopardy for the Republicans because Democrats need three seats in order to take back the Senate.
Right.
And they had two possible seats that they might win in 2018.
They also have to defend some seats.
Getting to three was going to be a challenge.
Except for now, this Alabama Senate seat is up in the air.
It's virtually tied.
I mean, the poll aggregator shows it tied, but the most recent polls show Roy Moore's opponent leading.
So this is a big deal.
This is a huge deal.
There is a lot at stake for the Republican Party.
And still, Mitch McConnell has called for Roy Moore to exit the race.
Mitch McConnell, majority leader of the Senate, whose job it is to make sure that the Senate gets the Republican plans through Congress, has told, like, even he couldn't fucking pull his head into his turtle shell for this shit.
Trump, however, Trump had a different response.
Let me read this.
On Twitter though, right?
There were several places where Trump had something to say.
You know, of course, I'm reading here from CNN.
This is the CNN article, Trump All But Endorses More.
And I know this show is supposed to follow politics as, you know, through the lens of Facebook.
But I mean, Trump is like the first Facebook grandpa president.
You know, so I feel like anything Trump-adjacent fits into this podcast.
Trump declined to say whether he believed Moore's denials, so he doesn't have an opinion on it yet.
He doesn't know whether it's true or not.
But when asked, he again pointed to the denials.
Well, he denies.
I mean, he denies.
I mean, Roy Moore denies it.
And by the way, it is a total denial.
That's a great phrase, by the way.
Complete denial.
Total denial.
This sounds like a really nice chorus for a song.
Total denial.
Denial.
Denial.
Ooh, it's not denial.
Total denial is a name when you're a power violence band.
That is a great name for a power violence band.
Total denial.
Not as good as white genocide.
And I do have to say, forty years is a long time.
He's run eight races and this has never come up.
Forty years is a long time, Trump said, pointing to the amount of time that's passed since the alleged behavior.
See the clock?
Forty years.
I'm convinced that Trump's a Crowleyan magician and like he repeats this shit over and over again and like the people that follow him literally just like Yep.
That's it.
And they blindly follow.
And he, like, waves his hands around all funny.
And, like, that's part of him, like, hypnotizing people.
He's, like, sketching out alchemy patterns in the air.
I think that'd be a fun plot for something.
Alchemical?
No, he hypnotizes people with his lips.
It's more like sigils.
He's imbibing phrases, you know, into inanimate objects, like his wig.
Oh, it's not a wig.
It's a couple strands of hair.
It's just crazy how just delusional this person is.
He's taking this- Who, Dump?
Yeah, Donald Trump, yeah.
Dump.
Anyways, he's like, oh yeah, it's like Schrodinger's cat, except for it's not.
There's no box.
We're looking at a dead cat.
We know the cat's dead.
But he's like, I don't know, is the cat dead?
And it's like, no, yeah, for sure the cat's dead.
You don't think he- The cat's been dead for 40 years.
Did you ask him?
The cat's not not dead.
No, the cat's definitely dead.
Well put the dead cat in a box and see what happens We don't know Yeah, it's insane.
I know I think that this is just Trump's response to any sexual assault that could have negative repercussions for him right because he is a fucking gnarly sexual assaulter So Trump also said, uh, we don't need a liberal person in there.
A Democrat.
Jones.
I've looked at his record.
It's terrible on crime.
So Trump's assertion is that the Democrat in this race, Jones, is quote, terrible on crime.
Do you guys want to hear the opening paragraph of Jones's Wikipedia?
Absolutely.
Jones served as the United States Attorney for the Northern District of Alabama and is known for prosecuting the remaining two Ku Klux Klan perpetrators of the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing which killed four African American girls along with securing an indictment against the Olympic Park bomber.
Holy shit.
Yeah, but those aren't criminals, they're justice fighters.
Okay, what about Black Panthers?
Did he prosecute any Black Panthers?
What about basketball thugs?
How many basketball thugs has he locked up?
What about all the people kneeling during the National Anthem?
Dude literally prosecuted fucking terroristic hate crimes successfully.
Multiple times.
And he, if you read more about it, he like made this his mission, he pursued it when it had already been lost and caught up in the legal system, and he fucking made it happen.
And just Trump can, with his fucking fat little hands, can just go on Twitter and say, uh, I don't know, Jones sucks.
Like, he sucks at crime.
And people are like, yeah, that's true, he does!
I'll tell you the same.
I read that, I read that.
He's a chaos magician.
I read that right here.
Shoplifting didn't go down.
Louis Vuitton's were just getting pillaged.
All the Louis Vuittons in Alabama.
Yeah, how many how many sunglasses has he recovered in his time?
Okay, let's get a let's go into the sorry we're just Exclaiming exclaiming into the void as we all are yeah, I'm gonna go into the deplorables reaction to the Roy Moore I Don't know ordeal Greg Palmer says, I heard an interview on Radio 4 with a gynecologist several years ago.
This is going great already.
He said the ideal time to have a child is aged 14.
No complications.
The fitness and health of youth.
God, I need to do some sort of filter over my voice when I read these comments so that they can't later be taken out of context and used against me, right?
You should read it like, um, I talked to Garza, so... Yeah, you have to like do some... Sure, yeah.
On November 26th, 2017, Alexander Edwards said... I'll have Derlin read this for me, or whatever the robo-transcriber's name might be.
Darby, I was gonna say Delver.
Get Darvish over here to read this for me.
Wait, don't put that up.
Don't put Darvish up.
I think that's like an Indian name, isn't it?
Just a name?
Well, it wasn't.
You Darvish?
It wasn't before that.
I don't know.
Yeah, You Darvish, yeah.
Okay, let me finish this here.
The fitness and health of youth.
It's a beautiful thing, right guys?
Here in Turkey, where I currently live, peasant culture goes like this.
Wow.
Peasant culture.
Babies at 14+, grandparents in their 30s, shoulder the burdens of looking after the babies.
Oh, nice.
Having kids later in life is a modern perversion.
Having no kids is a terminal perversion.
So, this goes like, having no kids at all was the small brain.
You know, having kids when you're ready is the medium-sized brain.
Galaxy brain is being forced to have children when you're 14.
Exactly.
That's like the meditating anatomical man.
That's the tool guy.
I don't know, the Born of Osiris album cover.
Did Alex, whatever his name, do that cover?
Uh, no.
Alex Ross?
Alex Grey?
Alex Grey.
Who's Alex Ross?
Alex Grey's the guy I was thinking of.
The anatomy guy.
Yeah, the DMT guy.
What's really funny is that nowhere else would anybody else in this conversation take this person who's from Turkey, so some shade of brown, seriously, for anything.
But now they're good.
I think, well, this dude's name is Greg Palmer.
Yeah.
And it says, here in Turkey, where I currently live, Oh.
Oh.
You're right.
I probably should have read his name and made some assumptions.
Oh, he's a troll anthropologist.
Oh, let me just zoom in here real quick.
No, I think he might be what's called a pleasure tourist.
Oh.
Oh.
Just experiencing the peasant culture.
The peasant culture.
He has a cat in his avatar.
Dude, I had to read that twice when I saw it.
Oh my god.
What the fuck?
Also, what the fuck?
A gynecologist went on record saying 14 is the perfect age to have a baby?
I hope that gynecologist is no longer working.
Well, you know, there's some doctors that are really good and then there's some doctors that are really bad.
They just kind of floated through medical school.
They're considered quacks.
Yes.
They went into gynecology for a specific reason, is what you're saying?
Yeah.
To help people.
To help women.
This is another really hot take that I like.
That last one was pretty spicy.
Somehow responding to allegations of rape with, well, no, that's actually the, biologically, that's actually the best time to be raped.
But see, what Greg didn't realize is this is just romantic.
So this is a strict, you know, this is, you know, just some sort of weird emotional abuse.
Dude, evolution means that, like, we move past shit like, like having sex with young kids.
Absolutely.
Like... You started that with evolution, so they're already done.
Alright, yeah, my bad.
Unless you're talking about, like... Evolution of rock?
The evolution that allows you to have sex with an underage girl.
And that's cool.
Another hot take here.
Deborah...
Can't pronounce this last name.
Deborah Zee.
I'd really love to pronounce this last name.
Spell it.
Z-B-I-E-R-O-N-E-K.
Zborniak.
No.
Zabir Onek.
Yeah, that's it.
More women have come for- Okay, so this is Roy Moore.
More, pun not intended, more women have come forward to def- Although they should call themselves more women.
Get a Facebook group going.
Hashtag more women.
But it's just misspelled.
Spelled differently than you want it to be.
Oh my god.
More women have come forward to defend him than accuse him.
Which, that's just the first statement and that blows my mind.
That is not how things work.
You, like, unless you've literally assaulted more than half of the female population of the world, like, you're good.
As long as more women have not been assaulted by you than have been.
They're like, his mom and aunties say he's great.
Just the numbers game.
More women have come forward to defend him than accuse him.
Seven billion women.
So he's in the plus column.
Yeah.
Three and a half billion women have not claimed they were raped by Moore.
So he's all right.
Ew.
That makes my stomach turn that people come up with shit like that.
Like the fact that they're just like, hey, you know what?
Um, he's not that bad.
A lot of people are coming forward saying that he was okay with them.
And I've tried so many times to like, like go down the path of logic.
Like why do these people actually vote for, for like guys like Moore?
And I just get lost in so many different turns and twists.
Well, I read a really good article and I listened to a really good episode of a podcast, which I think could be another thing we do at the end of the episode is recommend another podcast or an article or something.
But basically talking about how much is at, like I was saying earlier, how much is at stake with this election and how Why rather evangelical voters?
do stick with people like Roy Moore and they do stick with people like Donald Trump.
It's because abortion number one is the number one issue for these people.
You could be a huge monster and say you're against abortion, which makes you a monster, and they'll pardon you.
It's crazy.
Well, logically it makes sense.
I mean, if you do believe that abortion is murder, And we have places where women can legally go acquire these, quote, murderers.
Like, that's an atrocity to you.
So it's understandable why you would think molestation is less bad than murder.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like, if you're a true believer.
And these people will just come out and say it.
At least they got to be alive to be assaulted.
That's right.
Greg Fletcher posted in this Deplorables group, like, stop supporting Roy Moore.
And there were like 280 comments replying to him.
One I have here is, Greg Fletcher, you flipping stupid liberal, you probably had sex with underaged kids.
What?
Stop the lie.
This is a great tactic that you take.
When somebody calls you a pedophile, you just call them a pedophile back.
When somebody has five women accusing them of being a pedophile and somebody else points that out, you then accuse them of being a pedophile.
You then say, takes one to know one.
I am rubber and you are glue.
What you say bounces off of me and then sticks to you.
Yeah, and lots of comebacks like, oh yeah?
Greg?
Well, I heard you had sex with kids.
Let's lock you up without a trial.
Boom.
Owned.
Got him.
As if to say that what happened was somebody heard that Roy Moore committed assault, and that's what this entire thing is based on.
Like, they don't know how this works at all.
It's not, there's a rumor going around that Roy Moore assaulted children, even though that was going around for 40 years.
No, these are actual women who have come forward and accused, come out publicly and accused Roy Moore of it.
All right.
And then one of my favorite responses was just a meme, a picture, and it's like a seal, the official seal of the United States Democratic Party.
And inside this seal is a crying baby, a naked crying baby, which is just a great way to own somebody accusing somebody else of pedophilia.
So you post pictures of crying babies to own them.
Very on brand here.
I don't understand why, like, a lot of people think that if they post a meme when they're trying to argue a point, that that's, like, validating their point.
Like, some shitty meme that they found is like, here's my proof!
Well, no, it's better to post memes.
It's better to detach yourself emotionally from arguments on Facebook.
Pictures speak a thousand words.
So a picture with, like, six words on it's gonna speak a thousand and six words.
But...
Yeah, that's it.
Okay, let's do one final thing about the Roy Moore thing.
I think we saved the best for last because this is a new Ben Garrison cartoon.
Ben Garrison is a right-wing political cartoonist who has an amazing story.
Because he used to be fairly anti-government and libertarian and anti-racist and if you go back far enough you can see some genuinely good comments about or genuinely good comics of his about police brutality and like military overreach and stuff like that.
But what happened was he got trolled.
This is literally what happened.
He got trolled so hard by 4chan and Reddit who like manipulated his memes into just awful alt-right white supremacist or I said memes but it's comics.
They manipulated them into like right-wing garbage like racist white supremacist garbage and he tried to fight them and he lost and so he became them.
That's crazy.
because there's money in it because he had an audience so he became so he's self-aware what a bitch what a bitch i just think he's a bitch i don't know if he's self-aware that's awful so he's like this weird donald trump hero worshiping dude rendering donald trump as like an atlas-like bodybuilder damn you're such a bitch You're such a little bitch!
Oh my fucking god!
And another trope of his is that he labels everything.
I mean, this is like a trope of political cartoons in general.
It's the stereotype about bad political cartoons where the phone is labeled.
Like coined in the New Yorker, like in the 50s.
Right, but Garrison takes it to a new level.
Okay, so I'm gonna describe this comic.
It is a, you know, it's a depiction of the swamp, which is a favorite of Garrison's because it's a favorite of Trump's.
So it's a depiction of the swamp and a literal swamp and oh, but this is specifically I've noticed there's a tree rising out of the middle of the swamp and in about the mid background that says sex scandal swamp.
So this is a specific swamp we're talking about here, folks.
Trotting along the surface of this swamp in the foreground is good old Judge Roy Moore.
And you can tell it's him because he has a cowboy hat labeled Judge Roy Moore.
And he's swinging his arms and kicking his boot heels.
He's walking on water.
Happy as a clam.
Not a drop of this swamp on him.
However, in the swamp we have Charlie Rose, neck deep.
Al Franken, neck deep.
Coyers?
Conyers.
Conyers, neck deep.
Clinton, neck deep.
Spacey, neck deep.
Weinstein, Podesta, H.W.
Bush, and Wiener.
Wiener.
And finally Biden.
Why Biden?
Because there's a right-wing conspiracy going on right now that Biden is a pedophile because he's like a weird old grandpa who touches girls, you know, on camera.
Right, which is totally weird.
He's definitely creepy.
And, you know, it could be true.
Who knows?
Men are the issue here.
He's not caught up in any sort of sex scandal unless you only go to Breitbart.
He could be a perverted man.
You're making some claims here.
Biden is definitely a creep, but it's not like the same level.
The other ones have some actual things to them, you know?
Yeah, everybody else is, but I've left one thing out, and that is because in the far background, you can barely see it, there is a sinking boat labeled RM Accusers.
So Gloria Alrid, who's labeled Alrid, of course, and another woman are falling out of this boat and sinking off what looks like the edge of the flat earth.
That's it, yeah.
In the horizon of this swamp.
So we have actual sexual assaulters in the swamp.
All Democrat.
Oh, except for H.W.
Bush.
Everyone else here is a Democrat.
Who's that guy in the background that doesn't have a label?
Yeah, who's that guy supposed to be?
Oh I think that's just a random head to fill out the negative space between Judge Roy Moore's arm and head because one thing about Ben Garrison is he can't leave an inch of negative space on his comics.
So yeah, it's nobody.
Yeah, everybody else here is a Democrat or a Liberal, therefore they are guilty of the sexual assault.
While Judge Roy Moore is going clean, walking free to a losing Senate campaign?
Like, what does this even represent?
Judge Roy Moore is in more hot water than half of these people.
To me, it's like Ben Garrison thinks Roy Moore is like Jesus Christ and he's walking on water.
Yeah, that's true.
All these men guilty of sexual, or almost definitely guilty of sexual assault, also sinking in the water are the Roy Moore accusers.
The women who are the victims of Roy Moore, the women accusing Roy Moore of sexual assault, truly are no better than those who commit sexual assault.
Well, if they don't have proof, like, what are they talking about it for?
Well, what's crazy, too, is these poor women... Puffin.
Puffin.
So correct.
All these guys who are in this swamp, neck deep, all of which, from what I can see, deserve to be in neck deep swamp, deserve it, but none of them are getting, like, Death threats.
And they're not having their safety constantly, you know, called in question.
And they're all millionaires.
They're not living in fear like these women actually are.
Yeah, they get death threats and shit.
These women are getting like... This has not been easy for them.
And they're being dragged through the mud.
They're getting dragged.
And dumped in the swamp.
Yeah.
And then being told, are you sure?
You're not even that cute.
Yeah.
Like, that's fucked up.
Bullshit.
There's no payout here.
This is just brutal.
Bullshit.
And they're getting, you know, of course, yeah, they're, that's one of the worst things about these people who are denying you.
They're making it even harder for them.
They're not just saying you're wrong.
They're saying you're wrong and we're going to make your life difficult.
Like we should be doing to him.
And we're going to punish you for not being compliant.
I have a hard time thinking about it because it's just like a dark way to think.
And the boat's really sinking.
That's sad.
Let's just end real quick with the Alex Jones Thanksgiving picture.
Just try to end on a bright note here.
Dude, his face is pretty red, right?
It's cholesterol.
Yeah, his cholesterol's at peak right here on Thanksgiving Day.
Oh, he's at peak masculinity, peak cholesterol.
He probably slams turkey brine in the morning.
Yeah, so we have a, we have a, these are, this is a self-inflicted wound here.
Sorry guys, I just texted us on accident.
It's okay.
Okay, so this is a self-inflicted own on Twitter by Alex Jones here.
Posted a picture of him and his family, three pictures at least, of him and his, I guess they still count his family legally.
For their Thanksgiving Turkey Day, and I want to go over the two solo Alex Jones pictures first.
So the first one is him wearing a pilgrim hat with a feather in it, which I don't think is historically accurate.
Holding a, I don't know, champagne wine goblet, tilting it at the camera.
I think that's turkey grease with whiskey.
He's like, I'm gonna masturbate with this later.
Oh my god.
Uh, tipping it at the camera, nodding as if to say, suck it, snowflakes.
I celebrate Thanksgiving.
Next one is him and in like a, you know, a, uh, uh, shitty ass fucking racist headdress.
Yeah, it's, it's like a, a, I don't know, high school craft project headdress.
It's not good.
Holding a turkey out to the camera with this same sort of Facial expression that's like here's my turkey jerky kind of like he's he's been so impossibly filled with rage for the last 20 years that he doesn't know how to make a pleasant face and this sort of like Like that's the closest he can get Yeah, that's that's a good description of that.
Is there a more swollen face than Alex Jones?
No, he's pretty swole, dude.
His face is pretty swole.
His nose will get big dude.
Watch.
Bulbous.
It'll get bigger.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
Thanks to the globalists, maybe.
The globalist whiskey.
If you know what I mean.
Yeah, exactly.
These pictures make every cardiologist cringe.
Oh, yeah.
Look at my turkey.
Look at my swollen face.
I eat lots of salt.
Finally, the coup de grace is the picture of him and his kids, which he was somehow able to get into his house.
Oh my god.
Is this his girlfriend?
I don't know.
He's wearing his pilgrim hat, standing next to, you know, a much younger blonde woman, both giving the okay symbol, in other words, the weird, like, trolling alt-right white power symbol is it yeah you guys know about this right no I thought it's the W and the P yeah so that's really my understanding is it of it and I could be totally wrong
is that it was a ironic thing started by the alt-right by Pepe people yeah say like Milo and those people to say like oh we're gonna make this innocuous hand gesture and a racist thing and And then when the media comments on it, calling it racist, people will think that's stupid and they'll look ridiculous and yada, yada, yada.
But like every element of supposed irony in the alt-right, it just became what it was, what it was supposed to be.
It just became the symbol of the alt-right either way.
It's crazy.
So even if it was a joke, it's still a joke that is part of their identity.
Yeah.
So anyway, that's Alex Jones.
This is him like...
Laugh crying?
This is like him doing the... Yeah, he actually does look like the crying laughing emoji.
His face is so round.
His chest hurts.
He's the chest pain emoji.
He's just chuckling so hard.
And his kids are sitting in the forefront.
I'm assuming these are his kids.
A boy and three girls and they're all wearing like, you know, pilgrim hats or Indian headdresses.
And this is like, you know, this is probably his subtle way of trying to trigger the libs.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, totally.
He's like, here, kids, put this shit on.
I thought it was a leprechaun at first.
Because the green sunglasses and the buckle hat.
And he's all red.
Oh, shit.
I'm the leprechaun.
Are leprechauns red?
You know what, though?
It worked.
Like, it did trigger me.
Like, I'm really upset about this.
Mostly because I don't think he realizes he's saying, like, me and my son over here are actually going to kill these two girls with headdresses on later after dinner.
Yeah, see, this is why Alex Jones is in the pilgrim hat in this picture.
Because, like, he would have never succumbed to genocide.
He would have never succumbed to, like, smallpox because he takes, like, those men.
What?
No, I'm kidding.
Yes, basically.
I didn't hear what you said.
She said Echinacea.
Oh, I don't even know what that is.
It's an herbal supplement.
Well, if that's male vitality supplement, then that's what he takes.
And he would have never succumbed to smallpox or foreign diseases.
And also he has to assert dominance over the two girls who are wearing the Native American props.
And the son is wearing a pilgrim slash, I don't know, Quaker hat?
That might just be a fedora, but I think it is.
I think it is a exactly Quakerish hat.
Which is racist gear too because like the neckbeard Pepe people.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I like how, I don't know, is the woman next to him, is she just, is she woke enough to not wear a headdress or a headgear or a costume?
She's throwing up white powder.
That stepmom in training, they did not get her a headdress so she felt left out on purpose.
They had a conversation about that later that evening where she felt a little left out.
I don't know.
I think she wants to show off this like weird ombre dye job she has.
Her sweet bangs?
Yeah.
I want to speak to your manager dye job.
I think I know what happened actually.
I think I know what happened.
I think Alex Jones' kids were performing some sort of, like, Thanksgiving Day, uh... Forced skit?
Yeah, forced skit at their school, and, like, he was able to wait outside, and then rounded them up without their mother knowing, and, like, took them back to his house for Thanksgiving before she... Stole a hat from another kid?
Before she could intervene.
Give me your fucking hat!
Yeah.
This is actually a kidnapping or witnessing.
Yeah, he posts them on social media, and she's just like, alright, you fucking have the kids.
Fuck coming to your house, you fucking son of a bitch.
I wonder what she's like, though.
Hey, no, it's technically if you put the pictures on Twitter, that counts as a supervised visit.
Oh.
Holy shit.
I had the webcam on the entire time.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Alright, thank you so much for coming and doing the show, Charlene.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, great having you.
I don't know.
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Send us your bad memes.
I really want to see this personal shit.
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I want to see your family's shit.
Send us those conversations.
Oh my god.
I want to see your cousins.
That's my family.
Perfect, thank you.
My dad too.
Oh, and they keep trying to add me back on Facebook.
Do it.
I think it's been a year.
Bite the bullet.
She's forgotten.
Hey, you know, we should just forget about all this stuff.
You know, they just want us to fight and, you know, we should just all love each other.
Oh no, I was broadening the divide.
Yeah.
Oh, you were a divisive figure?
Yes, yes.
And then when I brought up healthcare, my cousin was like...
I'm like that and you're attacking me and I'm just like but you're gonna lose your health care you idiot.
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No, I'm sorry.
We're thinking about adding a segment where we talk about more positive stuff, like this Alex Jones segment.
This is a very positive, fun thing to end on.
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Mountain Matt.
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So, Minion Death Cult, because they like the fuckin' Minions.
Right-wingers, yeah.
Just love them and put them on every stupid t-shirt.
