Double Salutes: 7/03/25 (Excerpt)
There's twice as much show over at http://shrug.club. FREE. This week we visit Alligator Alcatraz, try to win a weapon, celebrate a huge legal victory, and listen to preroll ads.
There's twice as much show over at http://shrug.club. FREE. This week we visit Alligator Alcatraz, try to win a weapon, celebrate a huge legal victory, and listen to preroll ads.
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This is an Audio World Original. | |
Hello, Shrub Nation. | |
It's Byron. | |
Hope things are good. | |
We're taking a little summer break this week, but of course we couldn't leave your ears empty. | |
And that's why we're giving you a little preview of Double Salutes. | |
Double salutes. | |
Double fucking salutes. | |
The most patriotic live stream on the World Wide Web. | |
This week, the boys and I get into Alligator Alcatraz, another Marjorie Taylor Green gun giveaway. | |
We've got a little mic pillow trial update, and of course, the latest from our favorite MAGA wrappers. | |
The video version of this and an additional hour are available at Shrug.club for free, always will be. | |
Next week, we'll be talking about the latest Woke Marvel show, Iron Heart, and Steven and his friends' bigoted takes on it. | |
But for now, press both of your hands against your forehead. | |
Enjoy the first hour of double salutes. | |
We'll see you next week. | |
Double salutes. | |
Two hands to the sky. | |
One for my God and one for my pride. | |
Red, white and blue, yeah, it runs in my veins. | |
Land of the free. | |
Because of the brave. | |
Stand tall, stand true, till the day that I die. | |
Double salutes. | |
Welcome to Double Salutes. | |
Of course, the most patriotic live stream on the World Wide Web. | |
My name is Byron. | |
Dennis is here. | |
Hey, what's up? | |
Jared is over there in Occupied Texas. | |
And today we're going to be soaring through the week's best propaganda. | |
Happy 4th of July weekend. | |
Yeah, I said it. | |
Yes, that's right. | |
Happy birth of America. | |
I'm not afraid. | |
Jared? | |
Uh-oh, Jared, I can't hear you, bud. | |
Are you? | |
Jared's been silenced. | |
Oh, my God. | |
The big team was trying to, they were trying to cut me out. | |
They were trying to cut me out. | |
They can never cut me out. | |
Of course not. | |
You're going to have to cut through my chest to get my heart. | |
Sorry, I got too much patriotism. | |
I got two hands for you. | |
Bow, bow. | |
He's got them both up. | |
Okay. | |
Holy shit, dude. | |
You're patriotic as fuck. | |
Cool, guys. | |
Come on now. | |
Charged up, dude. | |
It's America. | |
I mean, the fun thing is that everyone... | |
You're going to do one for every day of July? | |
Yeah, I got four of them tomorrow. | |
Oh, okay. | |
Here's where it's. | |
America's birthday. | |
Dude, your arms are going to be so big at the end of this one. | |
Huge. | |
That's how you're going to do the new 30-day challenge. | |
Yes, holding the salute for all three salutes. | |
It's like what's that workout? | |
The insanity workout? | |
Taibo? | |
No, that's a different one. | |
Tai Chi? | |
Happy whatever. | |
Keep your fingers, have fun, eat potato chips and potato salad. | |
It's a pie. | |
Pie? | |
I'm a pie guy. | |
Pie on the 4th of July. | |
Was that cherry then? | |
I mean, I haven't ever had pie on 4th of July, but I will pump it up. | |
Why are you bringing it up now? | |
Because I just thought of pie. | |
I don't know. | |
Pie sounds good. | |
Jesus Christ. | |
So probably a cherry pie. | |
Uh-oh. | |
about some of them in the chat because a little fairy pie right here oh he's got No, just regular Rainier. | |
Dude, you're on cherry mode right now. | |
All right. | |
That's cherry. | |
I'm living that cherry level. | |
Well, and we're sipping these pie with my tongue in a knot by the end of the night. | |
That's hot, Jerry. | |
Bloom pop. | |
That's spicy. | |
Okay, this is going to be on the main feed, unfortunately, because we are trying to take advantage of. | |
Unfortunately. | |
Well, because of the start that we've done so far. | |
It's been kind of wild. | |
No, this is great. | |
Okay. | |
For people who don't know, Double Salutes is a live stream that we do as well as Louder than Crowder. | |
Is it different for people who do know? | |
Why you got to give me a hard time? | |
No, I just make that joke a lot. | |
All the time. | |
I always say, hey, if you know me, my name's Dennis. | |
If you don't know me, my name is still Dennis. | |
That's how names work. | |
Okay, so I get to laugh every time. | |
Yeah, this is, well, it's a courtesy laugh for sure because most likely you're being paid in these situations and you are a professional and that's fine. | |
I was just saying that this is a different kind of show where we kind of run through a couple political topics, watch some videos, laugh a little bit. | |
Is our other show not political? | |
It is, but we don't go through political videos. | |
We are very strictly. | |
That's true. | |
Yeah. | |
I don't know what the show is all about. | |
Well, you've been on it a couple times. | |
Have I? | |
Yeah. | |
Okay. | |
It's been a long time. | |
Patriotism. | |
I'd like to say that. | |
It's mostly about the American experience. | |
Shit. | |
Okay. | |
Actually, give me one second, guys. | |
I was going to do this before the show, but I need to sign up for this giveaway here. | |
Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool. | |
What's this? | |
This is, of course, we're celebrating 250 years of freedom with a chance to win a M249S Para, which is a... | |
Is that a Para? | |
So this website is really good. | |
It's very thin. | |
You can contribute $10,000 to $5,000. | |
$70,760. | |
The $100 is popping up because that's the one they want you to do. | |
But let's see if I can zoom in on this video. | |
There we go. | |
Okay. | |
This will be a little bit better. | |
America's the greatest. | |
All right. | |
It's very loud, so I'm going to open it up in the normal run. | |
Dude, leave it loud, man. | |
America is the greatest country in the world, and I fight the nasty America last Democrats in Washington. | |
America Last. | |
That's a new one for me. | |
The America Last. | |
Instead of America First, you know, which is their new kind of go-to adaptation. | |
This is new. | |
If you're not first, you're last. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
This actually came out 11 hours ago. | |
Take a peek at this. | |
This is a July giveaway sweepstakes. | |
And to keep it that way, I fight against gun control. | |
Open borders. | |
She's shooting up a million. | |
Sure. | |
The trans agenda coming for your kids and women's sports. | |
Well, she has blown up the trans agenda. | |
I mean, oh, they're so pathetic. | |
They're so afraid. | |
And I blow away the reckless government spending on my Doge subcommittee. | |
Is this the big deal? | |
Hell yeah. | |
They didn't even. | |
It's really cool, right? | |
They didn't even do like have the words up and then the explosion and they shatter like that shitty after effect. | |
Sure, sure, sure, yeah. | |
There's so much more that could have been done to make that even dumber. | |
I wish they would have. | |
I mean, listen, I'm just here to win a big automatic weapon. | |
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to contribute. | |
Of course you are. | |
5,000, probably. | |
You're going to do 5,000 because it gives you more. | |
Is this from the Louder Than Crowder show? | |
Is this the thing we're donating to? | |
That's not what we're doing at all. | |
We're not donating our money to this? | |
Oh, we should give our Patreon money to this? | |
I do want to own a weapon. | |
Win a gun. | |
Okay, but didn't we talk about possibly like we do one for our right hand, one for our left? | |
Sure, sure. | |
Yeah, one's going to the Trevor Project, and the rest of our money is going to try to secure WinRed.com. | |
We've got to win this M249 Espara gun. | |
Think about how cool we're all going to feel when we hold that steel. | |
I mean, the cool thing is we can shoot all kinds of stuff as well. | |
I mean, we can shoot tannerite. | |
We can shoot. | |
Oh, yeah, but also agendas of types. | |
Agendas. | |
We can shoot the Democrats. | |
We could shoot the BBB. | |
They just do the exact same videos, but blowing up big, beautiful bills. | |
They should make fun of them, though, and shoot, like, funny stuff. | |
I don't know. | |
There's ways to do it. | |
Let's finish this. | |
Let's finish. | |
Yeah, let's finish this submission. | |
Biden, Democrats gave away trillions to illegal aliens, the Green News scam, and their NGO deep state friends to destroy our country. | |
Got a bingo, dude. | |
But America elected Donald Trump, and now I'm working by his side to make America great again. | |
I mean, of course, right as soon as the three crosses, it got a little distracted. | |
But America elected Donald Trump, and now I'm working by his side to make America great again. | |
I like that. | |
never-ending to protect our faith families and freedoms upon reels of just chili rock it's just like it Like if you could take her talking out of it, we could just be like, and now we're going to fire up some steaks and throw a huge onion in a fryer. | |
You're right. | |
Yeah, we totally could. | |
Wow. | |
All right. | |
So in honor of America's 250th anniversary, I'm giving away my M249 Saw Pera to one lucky American patriot. | |
Why enter to win this gun? | |
Because in America, you can. | |
Are you supposed to hold it the way she is? | |
I don't believe so. | |
But also, is it the 250th? | |
250th year since. | |
It's like the start of the 250th year. | |
It's not the 250th anniversary, though. | |
Of America? | |
1776. | |
Yeah, that's of course. | |
So plus 250 would be 2026. | |
Oh. | |
Well, but 4th of July is Independence Day. | |
So that's the day of 1776, right? | |
Yeah? | |
So, yeah, this would be true. | |
Yes. | |
So it's not the 250th anniversary. | |
Or is it the end? | |
Right. | |
Listen. | |
I might be dumb. | |
I don't know if you're dumb, but also you're really zooming in on people's wording here. | |
Yeah, because I'm just, I don't know, man. | |
I need a win. | |
You picked on me twice for the way I said stuff, and now you're picking on Marge? | |
What did I pick on you for? | |
No, you said you kept questioning the way I was wording things. | |
That's true. | |
I'll keep doing that probably. | |
It's bad when you do it, but it's okay. | |
Okay. | |
And I'll always fight for your right to keep and bear arms. | |
Especially these guys. | |
Go to the website. | |
What do you need that gun for? | |
Dude. | |
I'm sorry, wait. | |
Here's the thing. | |
Have you seen Terminator 2? | |
Listen, Byron. | |
Or even Terminator 1. | |
Any Terminator, really. | |
I mean, the robots are coming. | |
Shell signed the chat says it's only 249 full years, which is correct. | |
Exactly. | |
Exactly. | |
But it's semantic. | |
She's dumb. | |
She's dumb. | |
Yeah. | |
MGT's dumb. | |
But here's the thing, Byron. | |
Okay, listen. | |
you've never been in a situation where it's 3am you hear, You hear the scrape of a machete on your porch. | |
Okay, yeah. | |
Okay. | |
What are you going to do? | |
Ding-dong. | |
What are you going to do? | |
Here's what I'm going to do. | |
I'm going to go. | |
I'm going to sneak out, grab my rifle, crawl across the road, mount up on the back of my neighbor's Jeep renegade. | |
No, gladiator, not renegade. | |
Fuck the renegade. | |
Gladiator. | |
Okay, listen. | |
It's cool. | |
And then I'm going to line that thing up 250 rounds. | |
One for each year of America. | |
Of course, right into their body. | |
That's right. | |
Exactly. | |
I mean, my family's probably going to be like murdered by the guy and the time it takes me to get set up. | |
Well, yeah. | |
Or you'll hit them with some sort of friendly fire. | |
Probably. | |
Hey, Dad, what's happening? | |
Steps outside. | |
Jesus Christ. | |
All right. | |
Well, we got to go to this website below. | |
That's the whole point of this. | |
Oh, and enter to win my M249 Saw Para. | |
And join me in wishing America. | |
So this is, okay, this is all referencing one of, I think, her early campaign ads where she was shooting stuff. | |
Do you remember? | |
Yeah, she blew up a Prius. | |
Yeah, it was. | |
Did she really? | |
She blew up a fucking Prius. | |
Yeah, that's what I thought we were watching. | |
No, she's back. | |
She's playing the hits. | |
She blew up a Prius. | |
She's doing a new one. | |
Yeah, she shot a Prius. | |
My trainer at the gym drives a Prius, and it's sick. | |
This is an older Prius. | |
Okay. | |
Let's see. | |
Let's see. | |
There's got to be. | |
Had a bigger gas tank on that Prius. | |
I don't have the standalone ad. | |
Maybe I do. | |
2021? | |
Let's see. | |
Sure. | |
Yeah, that sounds right. | |
Just real clear politics. | |
T. Pelosi is sneaking the Green New Deal into the $2.5 trillion budget. | |
It is. | |
And in 2022, I'm going to have a Democrat socialist agenda. | |
This one's like a lot of people. | |
You got the socialist agenda. | |
Ridge against the exception that has socialism on the side of it. | |
What the? | |
All right. | |
So she shot it with a 50 caliber. | |
Can we do a frame by frame? | |
No, she was also auctioning off the 50 caliber rifle for she auctioned it off. | |
That's all she does. | |
She buys a gun, she writes it off somehow, and then she goes to sell it. | |
Yeah. | |
Do you guys want to start a chili rock band? | |
You know. | |
And do like a show like down at like, you know, like a Trump rally where we just play like, just like on loop. | |
Yeah. | |
I mean, it's something that's very suddenly all get on the mic. | |
Yeah, we just have different GOP members come up and do like a verse on it. | |
Campaign finance laws to collect employees. | |
I'm telling you, I'm retired. | |
We just become the new jingle punks. | |
Do you remember those guys? | |
No. | |
Can I do a $1? | |
Are they going to let me do that? | |
Are you typing your phone number on the stream? | |
Oh my God. | |
Good thing it's cut off. | |
Thanks for catching that before I scrolled. | |
But yeah, I most certainly just put my phone number in. | |
Goodness, no one could see that. | |
Wow. | |
That could have been bad for me. | |
Hey, guys, I'll tell you what he typed, okay? | |
Could have been bad. | |
Okay. | |
Could have been bad. | |
How about Steven here? | |
Steven here? | |
No, Steve's not here. | |
I'm fine with that. | |
Great. | |
So, I wonder, that seemed kind of loud in the thing. | |
I don't think it's okay. | |
I don't think it's okay. | |
All right. | |
Well, okay. | |
This segment's done. | |
Any last thoughts on Marjorie getting rid of a gun? | |
I mean, I hope you win. | |
That's my only final thought. | |
You hope I win? | |
Yeah, I hope you win. | |
Yeah, I hope you win. | |
Let's see the rules. | |
Intra-contributed. | |
So it's going to the Save America Stop Socialism PAC. | |
So, of course, there's no limitations to how much she's going to do. | |
And MTG for Georgia Leadership Committee. | |
Cool. | |
So it's not going to her re-election. | |
It's going to, yeah, she's skirting the laws. | |
This is great. | |
Sure, we should shoot like a premis. | |
Yeah, you don't need to do anything. | |
Just give her your phone number. | |
Okay, let me type it in again. | |
When does it end? | |
How quick is this? | |
I don't know. | |
Right here? | |
Oh, my God. | |
The value is $10,000 for that gun. | |
Wow. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
The giveaway ends on September 15th. | |
Okay. | |
We got time. | |
Everybody, we all got time. | |
Everyone sign in. | |
Sign in. | |
We'll sell it. | |
You give all the money to our Patreon. | |
We give half of that to the Trevor Project. | |
The other half back to this and see if we can try to win another gun. | |
Whatever she does. | |
Dude, we just got a free gun hack. | |
It's going to blow your mind, dude. | |
Speaking of things blowing your mind, I got an idea for a segment. | |
We discussed this. | |
I don't know if it was on the episode that's coming out soon, which do you remember what the topic of our last episode is that's coming out next week? | |
I have a hard time remembering all this. | |
What did we talk about? | |
Fuck, do I really have to pull it? | |
Do I not? | |
I know we just posted the N-word one. | |
We've recorded like midnight. | |
No, we posted Iran one. | |
No, Iran came out. | |
This is embarrassing, but it shows you how hard dedicated work. | |
Yeah, exactly. | |
We're too focused to keep anything in the RAM, dude. | |
Maybe that's it, right? | |
We got memory leaks, IRL. | |
LTC, not a Vita Duffy. | |
That was Jared. | |
We got to do Vince. | |
We got to do Vince soon. | |
I remember Iron Heart. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
It was about the Iron Hard, the Marvel Iron Heart, and how racist he was about it. | |
Oh, it's the racist episode. | |
Yeah, I had a fever the whole time, so I don't remember. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
Dennis was remote because he was ill. | |
Jared was sleepy because he worked all week really hard, and it was like 1 a.m. when we were recording. | |
So that's coming out. | |
But I think during that episode, we may have discussed the commercials that play before Rumble videos. | |
Oh, I mean, I know that I definitely love that smoothie one because I heard smoothies are the worst thing you can put in your body. | |
So I may have collected about three minutes of Rumble commercials. | |
So comment them. | |
But save most of your comments for the end because you might miss some good stuff. | |
It'll be hard. | |
I thought this could be a lot of fun. | |
Okay. | |
I'm here for it. | |
I literally burned all my old shoes. | |
Not out of drama, out of frustration. | |
I suffered from years of foot pain, sore knees, aching back, and not a single pair of men. | |
Oh, no. | |
It's just audio. | |
Can you hear the audio? | |
It should be coming through with the sound effects. | |
Were you not hearing any sound effects? | |
Oh, it's just audio. | |
I didn't think. | |
I saw it. | |
Oh, no, you're fine. | |
Just close your eyes, dude. | |
We got another commercial. | |
I'm here. | |
I'm here. | |
Are we going? | |
Another sleepless night again? | |
Another again? | |
Thousands of men over 50 are facing this, but few know there's a natural solution. | |
What could it be? | |
Prostavive supports your prostate health by improving blood flow, helping you sleep better, feel stronger, and regain your vitality. | |
I dropped from 221 to 153 just by changing my morning drink, and I still can't believe how fast it worked. | |
Honestly, I was embarrassed to talk about it at first. | |
I thought it sounded too simple, but when I hit 150, I knew this weird little trick was real. | |
My auntie told me... | |
People are healing decay and repairing damaged gums every night as they sleep by adding one unusual ingredient to a glass of warm water before bed. | |
If you're over 30 and struggling with aching, loose, discolored teeth or cavities, gum disease and bad breath, then pay close attention because Harvard scientists recently proved that your oral health actually has very little to do with brushing your teeth. | |
All right, so I'll be. | |
Okay, we're about halfway through. | |
Any thoughts so far? | |
All of them are insane. | |
The first one? | |
Wait, what do you mean? | |
Oh, yeah, he's frustrated. | |
My fucking shoes! | |
God damn it. | |
Burn them all! | |
I don't want them anymore. | |
No one can ask them. | |
Fear it's so bad. | |
Wait, we got to get Sam Cedar to call us? | |
No, they said that if you put your phone number in, that Sam Cedar would call you. | |
Oh, that's kind of exciting. | |
That's what they would do. | |
Those are absolutely bonkers. | |
I didn't know also that if I just drank warm water, my teeth wouldn't stop. | |
Oh, they won't be so loose. | |
They won't fall out. | |
Loose teeth. | |
That one's when it started speaking to me. | |
I was like, Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
What have I been doing wrong with my teeth? | |
The guy who was talking about going down in numbers, which I believe he was talking about weight, sure, yeah, yeah. | |
He never mentioned that, just numbers. | |
Um, he sounded like someone called and said, Hey, uh, Mike, I'm gonna send you a text message. | |
Can you just like read it out loud and then just like send it back to me? | |
I want to see how it sounds being read by a person. | |
Well, the guy reading it in the ad weighs about 214. | |
So I don't know why he was saying that when I got down to 150. | |
But I mean, they're all AI anyway. | |
Like, of course, people are real. | |
It was just kind of awesome. | |
It's because I got cancer. | |
Yeah. | |
I'm amazed at how fast it works. | |
I have pancreatic cancer. | |
It's pretty much incurable. | |
I will die from this. | |
But look at how good I am and look how brumble. | |
Yeah. | |
All right. | |
Back to the ass. | |
I have more gums now because of how much weight I've lost. | |
This is hands down the quickest way to get rid of toenail fungus. | |
I almost killed my grandma. | |
All right. | |
Holy fuck. | |
All right. | |
I did like that. | |
What did he do with the fungus? | |
What happened with the grandma? | |
Excuse me, what? | |
So much story there. | |
Let's go back to that really quick. | |
Almost killed my grandma. | |
Okay. | |
Was that how it was delivered? | |
That wasn't like cut together? | |
No, I didn't cut that together. | |
That's just normal. | |
That's the ad. | |
This is hands down the quickest way to get rid of toenail fungus. | |
I almost killed my grandma. | |
Yep. | |
Waking up three to four times a night for bathroom trips was my norm. | |
I felt exhausted before my day even started, avoiding long car rides and even intimacy with my partner. | |
My feet were itching so badly that sleep felt impossible. | |
At three in the morning, desperation took over. | |
All I wanted was a moment of peace, but the relentless itch kept tormenting me. | |
This is the fastest way to eliminate toenail fungus. | |
When I started adding this one ingredient to my ice water each morning, I went from 221 to 153 way faster. | |
Okay, let's go back to this guy. | |
Sorry. | |
Do you have old pictures on your... | |
Not the toenail fungus. | |
Was he putting it in the water and the grandma drank it? | |
Grandma was sucking on his toesies, dude. | |
So we've got a theme of frustration and feet for the most part. | |
Yeah, dude. | |
And may have... | |
Yeah, yeah, it definitely, I mean, that doesn't kill anybody, but of course not. | |
It feels like you could just walk through the dirt and like eat some raw meat with that. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
I wish we had a meat boys. | |
We're working on meet girls for meat ladies. | |
The ladies of meat, which is ladies of meat. | |
Yeah, definitely. | |
It's coming together. | |
It's coming together. | |
It is, yeah. | |
It's harder to find those. | |
There's nothing. | |
No, we found quite a few. | |
There's like quite a few. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
There's the meningitis girl. | |
She might be in jail now. | |
Whoa, okay. | |
I follow that guy, Scott, now, the guy who eats all the old meat out of the jars. | |
But yeah. | |
Commercial stuff. | |
I like when he hangs out with his big friend lately. | |
He got tall long hair. | |
Tall long? | |
Yeah, that's him. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah, those guys are fun. | |
We'll talk about that later. | |
Fun to 153 way faster. | |
Do you have old pictures on your PC or smartphone? | |
Then this video is for you. | |
We're being told to buy the orange coin, but these snot-nosed kids are flipping their allowance into way better gains with smaller under-the-radar coins. | |
So how do we find them? | |
I've been making anywhere from $50 to $300 a day with this simple app. | |
Watch what smoothies do to your body. | |
Are smoothies a good option? | |
They are probably one of the biggest poisons known to be. | |
Even studies have shown breaking down fruit into fructose actually lessens energy. | |
of Fruit the Boot. | |
Dude, that fruit one's my favorite. | |
You knew I had to add that to the board. | |
Yes, the smoothie one is so funny. | |
Did that come out? | |
Was that on the last episode? | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
Yeah, we heard that. | |
I hope so. | |
I hope it's on the episode that's out. | |
It is. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
It definitely made me laugh quite a bit when I heard it. | |
Holy shit. | |
Yeah. | |
Wow. | |
I mean, I feel like I need to not sign up for Rumble. | |
Like, this makes me want to not sign up because the commercials are so good. | |
Well, you remember that Steven and the owner of Rumble were upset because that high and alcohol company refused to put money into advertising on them until Steven Crowder, I guess, made an agreement to not be such a bigoted man. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
That's working out. | |
Well, yeah, look at all these great ads. | |
Honestly, guys, I spent, that was about three minutes at ads. | |
I spent four minutes getting ads. | |
Really? | |
Like, I wasn't, I was not. | |
Hit skip, hit skip. | |
No, I would, I would, yeah, because you get two ads before each program. | |
So I do listen to it, skip ad, and then skip the next one, and then refresh. | |
I wasn't, like, being super selective. | |
Yeah. | |
Like, that is an actual representation of what it's like to use Rumble. | |
Let's go look at it right now. | |
Yeah, I mean, guess what? | |
Yeah, this is proof. | |
Proof framework. | |
Total one Rumble. | |
I bet we get the I killed my grandma with Tofu. | |
I hope so. | |
That guy's one of my new favorites. | |
Yeah, I'm not used to typing on this PC computer. | |
I'm bad at typing. | |
Okay. | |
Big retailers don't have a zoom lens, but there's nothing they can do to stop it. | |
Wait, wait, wait, guys. | |
So I want you to know that this Zoom lens is banned, but not by the government. | |
listen to where it's banned by. | |
It's a powerful monocular and it's got the zooming power of a military grade sniper scope. | |
It's already banned from Home Depot, Amazon, Walmart, Walmart. | |
Wait, wait, wait. | |
Wait, wait, wait. | |
What does that mean? | |
It's banned from a store. | |
It's banned from a store? | |
What the fuck does that mean? | |
You can't even get it on Amazon. | |
You can get Alligator Alcatraz on Amazon. | |
It's not alligator. | |
You can't get this scope. | |
well, I guess not. | |
And this scope, what makes it special? | |
Those big box stores for being too powerful. | |
Oh, now the company behind cutting out the middleman, selling over 1.5 million units in the last month. | |
They're like the mattress company of what makes this powerful Zoom lens unique is that it can be attached to your smartphone camera to make movie quality pictures and video footage. | |
Movie quality pictures. | |
Movie quality pictures. | |
What? | |
Just buzzwords. | |
Just dump them. | |
Just dump them out of your face. | |
What the hell does that even mean? | |
All right, next ad. | |
Don't my phone already do that? | |
See? | |
Another sleepless night again? | |
Thousands of men over 50 are facing this, but few know there's a natural solution. | |
But he hasn't taken his pants off. | |
Prostavive supports your process. | |
Let's do one more just for fun. | |
Waking up three to four times a night for bathroom trim-ups. | |
Sorry, same? | |
A different company doing the different drinking warm water before bed fixes tooth and gum problems overnight. | |
The loose teeth, dude. | |
I'm telling you. | |
My feet were itching so badly. | |
I wasn't long. | |
Oh my god. | |
It's all the same. | |
Oh, that's great. | |
You have to go to the dentist if you have a cavity like that thing. | |
No, you put you sprinkle powder in your water. | |
One simple ingredient. | |
And you got to reuse the same one for your feet or vice versa. | |
I'm not exactly sure which. | |
Put your foot water on your tooth. | |
They're both warm. | |
Great. | |
You have to warm it up with your feet, dude. | |
So go to Rumble. | |
And also support the sponsors, really. | |
Yeah, there's also a shotgun pistol that chips your door. | |
This is the small businesses that Trump is about. | |
These are the ones that he's like, these are the guys. | |
I saw something for credit card pistols. | |
Have you seen these? | |
Oh, what is America, dude? | |
Yeah, and you just put the little life card to the best country on earth. | |
Double salutes. | |
Double salutes in the chat, everybody. | |
Let's see him. | |
Let's see him. | |
Thank you. | |
Thank you. | |
Everyone, okay, and I agree. | |
Let's give fruit the boot because smoothies are killing you. | |
And fungus kills your grandma. | |
And show me one of these in action. | |
Yeah, there's a video right there. | |
Oh, my God. | |
Okay, here we go. | |
There's a video of it. | |
I bet there's not a video of it being fired. | |
Lifecard 22 pistol. | |
Let's check it out. | |
Oh, it's not even that thin. | |
They make it look so much thinner in the pictures. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
I mean, obviously. | |
Is it a real gun? | |
Yeah. | |
Put a little 22 in there. | |
I mean, it's still small. | |
Whoa. | |
Bluey. | |
You don't hold the bullet in it? | |
Okay. | |
Ah! | |
Does it come with the sunglasses? | |
Well, I hope it does, dude. | |
Those are extra. | |
I just killed a migrant. | |
Fuck, guys. | |
This guy sucks. | |
Oh, man. | |
Stop resisting. | |
Wait, this is 18. | |
Anyone who's vlogging. | |
Anyone who stands like that. | |
You should save the video for us. | |
Actually, will you just intro next time? | |
Mute it. | |
Mute it and let it play. | |
We can keep talking about whatever's going on. | |
Who are just listening, though, we need to describe this. | |
Yeah, I think so. | |
Yeah. | |
So imagine a credit card, and you take six credit cards and you stack them. | |
Sure. | |
Yeah, real thick ridge ones. | |
Real thick, yeah, metal ones. | |
Mex, for sure. | |
Amex reserve, probably. | |
And then imagine that that was a fold-out gun. | |
Well, yeah, because it's like a transformer. | |
Yeah, it's like a transformer. | |
They're more than meets the eye for sure. | |
It's kind of maybe more like a Swiss Army knife. | |
I think that's a better description. | |
You know the ones where it's a Leatherman? | |
Leatherman. | |
Yeah. | |
Where you start like it's folded up and then you go and you have your knee on those pliers. | |
But in the middle of the Leatherman is a. | |
There's a pin, a firing pin, and you have to load a single bullet in. | |
Yeah. | |
Yep. | |
And then like dump your gunpowder in and clean it like a musket. | |
I think you got to do that. | |
You can skip that step. | |
I don't know. | |
I mean, he probably talks about that at minute 16 of the video. | |
It's very cool. | |
Wow, look at that thing. | |
That can hurt somebody. | |
Where do my credit cards go? | |
They sell a version that has the card slot on the side so you can keep your cards in there. | |
Yeah, I need a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a new week, by the way. | |
Wait, really? | |
Okay, well, they're still advertising it. | |
Seven years ago, wow. | |
Very cool stuff. | |
Should we get one of these with like, how much is this? | |
I got it on Timu. | |
Oh, my God. | |
Well, now the freaking tariffs are killing me. | |
Dude, look at this one here. | |
It comes with like the bullets pop out like it's like a toy. | |
Huh. | |
I wonder what that's about. | |
I got a lot of pink and that is a toy version. | |
I don't know. | |
Like gender bullets so that we can do like a gender reveal. | |
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Like it puffs out like a pink smoke and goes. | |
Uh-oh. | |
Is their website down? | |
No, they just have. | |
They don't want to be a fucking extra security. | |
DDoSed? | |
You DDoSed by all those libs and all the Antifa. | |
Yeah, right? | |
This gun sold out in 10 minutes. | |
So we did the unthinkable and we dropped the price. | |
This is the kind of gun a lady in an Old West brothel would have in her Brazier. | |
That is nice. | |
That's nice. | |
Yeah, totally. | |
I can see that. | |
I don't think TrailblazerFirearms.com is going to load for me. | |
Well, you're going to TrailblazerFirearms.com slash dot well-known slash SG CAPCCHA. | |
Oh, yeah, of course I am. | |
Let's just try to go to just their website then. | |
Yeah, definitely. | |
How is anyone eating barbecue tomorrow or something? | |
Oh, man. | |
I don't know what I'm doing. | |
I had some chicken today. | |
Very cool. | |
But I don't have any food plans tomorrow on this. | |
It's just not going to load. | |
Yeah, I think they're out of business. | |
I think that's probably true. | |
I don't know why, though. | |
So we did. | |
Okay. | |
You guys know I'm a huge fan of Mike Lindell, right? | |
Oh, Mike Lindell. | |
The guy from Frank's Beach TV? | |
American Hero. | |
And this is kind of cool. | |
It seems like you know, Tim Poole was let into the press pool, I suppose. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
Do you guys remember when Mike Lindell prayed over the country? | |
Can we talk about that for a second? | |
Well, in a minute. | |
Is there any more information on the special prosecutor? | |
So many Americans still have questions about the 2020 election. | |
And speaking of rogue judges, would you consider appointing somebody at DOJ maybe to investigate the judges that allowed for the political persecution of you, your family, and your supporters during the Biden administration? | |
I love you. | |
Who are you? | |
I'm Carol from Lindell TV. | |
Well, that's just a very nice question. | |
I love you. | |
Who are you? | |
Needs to be on the board for sure, right? | |
It really does. | |
I love you. | |
Who are you? | |
So, Lindell TV's in the pool now, which is kind of funny. | |
I don't know if they're in the new media section. | |
I think they just have a permanent spot. | |
Is it now Lindell TV? | |
Yeah, Lindell TV Network. | |
Wasn't it Frank Speech TV? | |
Well, it's Frank Speech, but it's part of the Lindell TV Network. | |
Okay. | |
Yeah. | |
I think that's how it works. | |
Wow. | |
Let's see. | |
It's been a while since I've been to the Lindell TV show. | |
I mean, yeah, well, it's funny you say that. | |
Not a great week for Mike Lindell. | |
Lindell TV News. | |
Look at the Lindell Report, dude. | |
Show the people that banner of the Lindell Report. | |
Scroll down a little bit more. | |
Look at that. | |
That's so great. | |
He's got the scoop. | |
He's calling in with the scoop, and he even put this video here. | |
He's calling. | |
I love you. | |
Who are you? | |
He's on a barbecue. | |
Fawn over at Liz All TV question about 2020 election. | |
Yeah, he's definitely calling the police up there. | |
Oh, my God. | |
These kids are being really loud next door. | |
I can't tell if there's shoplifting from this Walmart, but I got my eye on them right now. | |
All right. | |
Well, as I said, not a great week for Mike Lindell. | |
One of his trials was actually kind of wrapping up a little bit. | |
The one where, remember at a cyber symposium, he said he would give, I think he said he'd give a million or two million dollars to the person who proved that it wasn't election fraud or there was no evidence in his data packets, his packet captures. | |
I mean, you can't prove something doesn't happen or doesn't exist, but okay. | |
Let me think. | |
How was it explained? | |
I think it was explained, honestly, like it was something that was not impossible. | |
Okay. | |
It'd be like, prove to me God isn't real. | |
Well, but this person was able to prove that it was the data that he was showing was not evidence for election fraud. | |
Sure. | |
So he sued Mike Lindell and Mike Pillow to receive the money that he deserved. | |
I love this guy. | |
Yeah, this guy's kind of fun. | |
Wait, what, Jerry? | |
No, nothing. | |
I'm on you first. | |
I'm just going to say Mike Lindell and Mike Pillow are the same guy. | |
Yeah, same guy. | |
Sorry. | |
I've been using his godly name. | |
Like the father. | |
His Christian name. | |
Mike Lindell, of course. | |
Mike Pillow is his correct name. | |
attorneys in Colorado and elsewhere are on notice if they use AI to prepare their court filings, they got a check to make sure the artificial intelligence didn't just- In preparation for the trial, they got busted using AI. | |
Okay. | |
And make up laws or court cases. | |
You're never going to believe this, but lawyers for Election Denier and MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell are now accused of using AI to submit a court filing that was so full of make-believe nonsense that a federal judge in Colorado is threatening to refer them for discipline. | |
Three years ago, Mike Lindell got served at an election deniers rally in Denver. | |
It was a lawsuit saying the rigged election claims from the My Pillow Guy were a short. | |
This is why all the times that he just takes stuff out of people's hands and he gives his phone number up to everyone. | |
I don't know if you're aware of that. | |
It doesn't always work when you have active lawsuits that are coming your way because you're going to get served. | |
You know, I think what stops me about this so far was imagine being someone who's known as My Pillow Guy. | |
The My Pillow. | |
The CEO and founder of My Pillow, just the My Pillow Guy. | |
It's like, hey, the My Pillow Guy. | |
Like, that's how he's existing. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
And they go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that guy. | |
There's only a few people who exist in a world like that. | |
There's My Pillow Guy, and then there's Papa John. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
Well, you know what's funny is when I talk to people about Steven Crowder and our other podcasts. | |
Sure, sure. | |
Change My Mind Guy. | |
Yeah, yeah, exactly. | |
I say, do you know the Change My Mind guy? | |
And they go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Great. | |
Yeah. | |
Yep. | |
But he got served. | |
Sham. | |
And that those lies did real damage to Denver-based Dominion voting systems and an employee singled out for harassment. | |
Now it's Lindell's attorneys accused of making stuff up. | |
These are very, very serious rule violations if those allegations prove to be true. | |
A federal judge says Lindell's attorneys turned in a brief with nearly 30 defective citations. | |
Uh-oh. | |
They admitted it was AI. | |
Jane Cox specializes in legal ethics at the firm Burns, Beige, and Will. | |
Including completely fictitious sites is really egregious. | |
U.S. District Court Judge Nina Wong agrees. | |
She's threatening to refer Lindell's attorneys for discipline, like the loss of their license. | |
Christopher Kachorov represents election deniers across America. | |
This is cool. | |
He's had some other embarrassing briefs, like the one seen when he showed up pantsless to a court hearing on Zoom. | |
And it's not so much that they used generative AI, it's just they didn't check it. | |
I like this guy talking about using generative AI with that background. | |
He's on the top of Mount Fuji or something. | |
What's he up to? | |
Yeah, he's definitely actually, That's a crazy background. | |
No, he's a mountain climber. | |
He's a lawyer in a mountain climber. | |
Very cool. | |
I mean, tone-wise, though, it does fit. | |
Yeah, I know. | |
You hailed the heights of the law, mister. | |
Charles Luce is an expert on legal ethics and technology at Fenimore. | |
If you don't know how to drive a car, don't drive a car. | |
If you don't know how to use generative AI thoughtfully and intelligently, don't do it, or at least hire people who know how to. | |
Lindell's attorneys declined to explain all those errors to the judge until she straight up asked him if it was AI. | |
Catching them, you might say, with their pants down. | |
All right. | |
So we can stop. | |
The judge is now ordering Lindell's attorney. | |
Every time Mike Lindell is talking, it looks like he's doing an audition tape for like doing a sucker. | |
He's like a little b-roll. | |
Yeah, it definitely does. | |
I could see that. | |
Suffering sucker tash. | |
That's what he's always saying the whole time. | |
It's Pretty good. | |
Was that the clip where he called somebody an asshole? | |
Yeah. | |
That was so funny. | |
Well, because they called his pillows lumpy during a deposition. | |
You can't do that. | |
It's not fair. | |
Oh, man. | |
I love it. | |
I love it. | |
Mike Lindell is such a mess. | |
He's one of my favorite guys, and that's why I'm happy to be kind of breaking this down a little bit. | |
It's been a while since we talked about Mike Lindell. | |
This is a nice bright spot. | |
You having fun? | |
This makes me happier than dealing with the fact that my health insurance is going to go up because I lost my premium tax credit. | |
Yeah, it does make me wanting to quit my day job a little bit trickier, doesn't it? | |
Yeah. | |
Shrug.club. | |
Shrug.club, baby. | |
Shrug.club. | |
And this is cool. | |
So I think it was a relatively short trial, but they entered deliberation. | |
The jury was sent away. | |
And, well, this kind of happened. | |
Once that jury began deliberating, I asked Lindell outside court if he was satisfied with his team's defense strategy to not put up evidence of his election rigging claims, but instead to argue to the jury that all that matters is if Mike Lindell thought he was telling the truth. | |
Were you satisfied with your defense? | |
What did you think of how they did? | |
I think they did great. | |
I think her ending arguments was absolutely amazing. | |
The final witness against Lindell was nationally recognized election cybersecurity expert Dr. Alex Halderman. | |
He said there are real issues with electronic voting machines, but he said Lindell's claims are, quote, crazy town. | |
He said that the theories that you promote are so far-fetched and have so little evidence that it hits the colours. | |
I love crazy town. | |
I did this. | |
Okay. | |
Did you add the crazy town text? | |
No. | |
Because that's what I wanted to come back to. | |
Okay, good. | |
Can we just look at that again? | |
Whoever edited that was fucking proud of it. | |
Of the crazy town text. | |
Yeah, well, and I helped them out, of course. | |
I know, but the claims are, quote, crazy town. | |
Yeah. | |
I see. | |
Yes, between the sheets of paper. | |
It is creative. | |
Sometimes there is moments of creativity inside of this. | |
And really, it's probably just they turned it on at the right time because it's just white, but I love it. | |
Okay. | |
He said Lindell's claims are, quote, crazy town. | |
He said that the theories that you promote are so far-fetched and have so little evidence that it hinders a discussion about the real vulnerabilities with the system. | |
When you hear that, when you say that. | |
No, no, no. | |
What he said, Kyle, was he never, when I reached out to him twice or more than that, he never reached out to me or never answered, never reached out to me to look at my stuff. | |
He's never seen it. | |
Part of Lindell's defense is that calling a voting machine company executive a treasonous criminal wasn't a big deal because Lindell calls lots of people traitors. | |
What do you think of these courtroom sketches? | |
They're using crayons, which is kind of cool. | |
I just love that we know who Mike Lindell is. | |
Clearly Mike Lindell. | |
Like, yeah, usually you have to think and squint a little bit. | |
No, I think. | |
Well, that's him. | |
That is certainly him. | |
All right. | |
You're getting sued for calling somebody a traitor, and you're calling more people traitors out here. | |
Clearly, like, it's not changing your approach, your conviction. | |
Like, that's not your. | |
If you're suppressing free speech and your stuff and you're suppressing, you're a traitor. | |
Why would you do that to our country? | |
We need to secure our election. | |
There's a reason you're doing it. | |
And I said it on my show. | |
And this concerning our elections, our elections to get to secure elections, if you're against trying to get them secure, if you're trying to suppress my voice, that's why I'm calling you a traitor. | |
Because right now, we need heroes or traitors. | |
There's no in-between. | |
You, Kyle, should be on board with getting to the truth instead of figuring out how you're going to bash me here with the quote. | |
You say, I can see the quote. | |
Now, Mike didn't learn a thing. | |
He still calls people traitors. | |
No, that's you being a traitor. | |
By you doing that on your show tonight, you will be a traitor. | |
All right. | |
So. | |
What a legend. | |
Yep. | |
I'd say what a legend. | |
Imagine being that guy who was like that cybersecurity expert that they showed the really nice headshot of. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
And he's like, yeah, there are real concerns about voting machines. | |
And Mike Lindell is like, is basically what he's doing. | |
You think he did a big fart noise? | |
That's what he's doing, dude. | |
It's like, this guy's going to prepare and bring a bunch of evidence and Mike Lindell's just going to ramble about shit. | |
That's what you're up against. | |
I don't know if it's fair to say he's rambling. | |
I think he truly believes that he... | |
They don't really mean anything. | |
But because Big Balls, his cyber guys gave him this information. | |
I've watched all his documentaries. | |
He's got all these docs he's putting out on YouTube or Rumble or Lindell TV. | |
Because he knows a guy who said something that proves what he wants. | |
Proves in quotes, of course. | |
That's all he needs. | |
That makes him willing to spend multiple millions of dollars defending this because he truly believes that there's information that proves that the 2020 election was stolen. | |
I watched in real time Tina Peters getting raided by the FBI for stealing the internal information about a voting machine. | |
Remember Ron Watkins? | |
Remember that guy? | |
Basically the QAnon guy? | |
He was at the cyber symposium too. | |
I truly believe that Mike Lindell thinks he's correct. | |
I think that he thinks he's correct. | |
And I'm not saying that the guy's just like, Because I'm saying that that's the level of understanding he's doing. | |
He's a fucking moron. | |
Yeah. | |
That guy sucks. | |
It's just like people who will misread a judge's ruling and think it was good. | |
Well, we do have a verdict. | |
Great. | |
Yeah. | |
Mike Lindell lost, and he's thrilled. | |
Wait. | |
Because while the My Pillow founder was ordered to pay $2.3 million to a Coloradan for claims that he and his voting system company raised $2.3 million raided the 2020 election against President Trump, Lindell avoided a monster judgment, something 30 times larger, What his opponents had requested. | |
And he will sleep well tonight on a My Pillow, no doubt, because his beloved company was spared any financial judgment. | |
You think this law affair against me and all this stuff is going to stop me? | |
No. | |
Mike Lindell, defiant and loud, as usual, outside federal court in Denver after he was found liable of defamation but ducked a catastrophic financial penalty. | |
Jurors imposed a $2.3 million judgment on Lindell and his company Frank Speech. | |
No financial hit to my pillow. | |
Do you have $2.3 million? | |
So, you know, I don't have to have any money, which I don't. | |
I'm millions of dollars in the hole. | |
I think I told you that in the courtroom. | |
It's about $10 million net worth in the hole. | |
What Lindell has is pillow buying MAGA Faithful supporting his business and donating to his defense fund on promises that he will at last reveal his long-awaited evidence of they look lumpy. | |
They do they look lumpy, okay? | |
I've never seen one in real life. | |
I know I have a close friend named Jim who has some my pillows. | |
Yeah. | |
Big fan of them. | |
I think so. | |
Not from a while ago, not from current myopillow fame. | |
A lot of patriots, like they're saying, are buying my pillows. | |
I think my mom once told me they were really good. | |
I mean, they were at Walmart for forever, right? | |
I don't think that Walmart has my pillows anymore. | |
I don't know. | |
I think you have to get them from free speech.tv. | |
I think they're all going to be a lot of election rigging. | |
You said to your supporters when you asked them for money paying your legal fees that at this trial we will reveal to the world the truth about our corrupt election platforms. | |
Then you got inside and you said, actually, the trial is not about that. | |
We're not going to put on evidence about the corrupt election platforms. | |
This is about free speech. | |
Here's my question. | |
For all the folks that you've asked for money, who have given you money, when do they get to see your evidence in court as you've promised them? | |
They've seen the evidence. | |
We've had it posted, Kyle, and what the judge didn't let come out here. | |
We're all in this to try and save the country. | |
I've never done that before. | |
I'm not Grifter. | |
I'd be the worst Grifter. | |
You look up Grifter, you ain't going to see me. | |
Okay. | |
Can we Google Grifter really quick? | |
I actually got some exclusive courtroom footage here. | |
Oh, yeah? | |
Let's toss it over in the chat. | |
I'll put it. | |
I put it in the chat here, yeah. | |
All right. | |
Let's see what we got here from Jared. | |
I'm amazed you found this, too. | |
This is a big, big break. | |
This is a big poll. | |
I mean, Detective Tutoro. | |
We got eyewitnesses that'll put you at the crime scene and got your fingerprints all over the coffin. | |
But I didn't do anything. | |
Is that Paul? | |
Yeah. | |
And why have you been hiding? | |
Hiding? | |
No, that's Mike. | |
Oh, my God. | |
It is Mike. | |
It is Mike. | |
I could have sworn it was Mike Pillan. | |
No, it's Mike. | |
Wow. | |
No, that's Mike Pillar. | |
What about the dress? | |
Dress! | |
What dress? | |
It really does look a lot like Dennis. | |
Is that him? | |
No, no. | |
That is him. | |
Guys, yes, Dennis. | |
Don't fuck with Dennis. | |
That's The Undertaker's manager. | |
Look at her face. | |
Yeah. | |
I'm easy to do. | |
Mike Lindell is the manager of The Undertaker, who is a conservative. | |
Kind of tracks. | |
Okay, that looks like him. | |
That's him. | |
Paul Bear died. | |
I'm going to start with the company. | |
That's like something the fittest flat earther would say, Jared. | |
Well, I'm as smart as they are. | |
Oh, wow. | |
So they're saying smart shit, I guess. | |
I guess so. | |
Dennis, spoiling your birthday present, I thought it'd be fun to wrap this up with a new product that launched over at MyPillow. | |
Okay. | |
This is called My Cross. | |
And they're at My Store. | |
Oh, my God. | |
$20. | |
Yeah, I went ahead and $250 fucking dollars. | |
Whoa, they're different sizes for female and male. | |
They're not different sizes. | |
They're different colors. | |
No, there's different sizes, dude. | |
Look at the specs right there. | |
Oh, interesting. | |
The male ones are a little longer. | |
Okay, well, here's the women's one. | |
Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. | |
That's nice. | |
I guess the chain might be a little bit smaller, maybe. | |
Okay. | |
And then there's the men's one. | |
Oh, dude. | |
Black. | |
Can I see that picture of him wearing it? | |
Yeah, that'll really help me sell it. | |
Oh, they can't really see it, but. | |
Wow. | |
And he's got a big neck. | |
That's amazing. | |
That's so amazing. | |
Well, happy birthday to Dennis coming up pretty soon here. | |
Wow. | |
I can't wait. | |
Yeah. | |
It's in the mail. | |
Can you send me prayer winning it too? | |
We have to pray over it. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
Well, I got this from my store. | |
My store is a place? | |
Where they're having a mega sale on it. | |
Holy shit, dude. | |
This is just a friggin MLM. | |
Yeah, it is an MLM. | |
Yeah. | |
They got Trump syrup, dude. | |
Do you see Trump syrup back there? | |
We could look at it right here. | |
There it is. | |
Make honey great again. | |
Wow. | |
It's all just corn syrup. | |
And it's shaped like Donald Trump as if his hair head was on top of a body of a bear, which is kind of fun. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
Can we look at the ingredients for that? | |
Does it come with a three-pack? | |
It's probably just... | |
It's not only delicious. | |
Great audio. | |
It's also exclusive. | |
Oh, my God. | |
And today, Todd is going to take a moment to share with you. | |
Well, I mean, the cool thing is it's obviously being like TikTok sold at the same time. | |
Yeah. | |
They're shooting it from a different school. | |
Yeah. | |
She's got the $29.99 Walmart light on the side. | |
Very good stuff. | |
Exactly why. | |
Todd, thanks for joining me today. | |
Yeah, thanks for having me. | |
Yeah, so I'm the co-founder of Make Honey Great Again. | |
Oh, it is just Ultra Magga Pure Raw Honey. | |
Ultra Barrel, South Carolina. | |
We have 11,000 vibes. | |
The Co-Packer's been doing this for 30 years. | |
My skin is itchy. | |
God, if you put it on your feet, you can sleep all night. | |
Save your grandmother. | |
You won't piss me. | |
It's your vibes. | |
You will go away. | |
We got all kinds of great reviews. | |
Do they have any reviews that aren't five? | |
Interesting. | |
Suspicious. | |
Met a gentleman. | |
I like this one. | |
Would love to get more of this, but I need you to put it in a glass container. | |
No more plastic. | |
They're worried about the microplastics and their honey. | |
Nice. | |
I like this one here. | |
Met a gentleman from Charleston, South Carolina this evening at Vienna, Illinois at Vienna Diner. | |
He was wearing a cap with the name of our pick for U.S. president in 2024. | |
Donald Trump. | |
Donald Trump. | |
We waved at him, gave him a thumbs up, and he gave us a jar of honey. | |
Was it this honey? | |
Great gentleman plus great honey. | |
Go Trump, period, 2024. | |
Well, we don't have any additional I ever had. | |
We don't have any. | |
Well, we can add a testimonial, though. | |
Okay, let's do it. | |
What the fuck? | |
You can just, like, say it? | |
Yeah. | |
gravy patriot. | |
That's better. | |
Is it EY or just Y? | |
Just why. | |
Just Y. I like gravy with an E like E. Yeah, let's just wait. | |
You love graves. | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Gravy Patriot. | |
This honey is woke. | |
Tell them the honey's woke. | |
Honestly, for the price. | |
I'm going to spell it, whatever. | |
Let's just type it the way I am. | |
I'm starting to think this honey may be woke. | |
Great. | |
And harvested. | |
Frankly, I'm sticking to mics. | |
And harvested by Antifa. | |
I'm sticking with mics. | |
I like this still getting a two-star. | |
Well, yeah. | |
It still tastes good. | |
It's just woke. | |
Not living. | |
All right, let's submit the testimonial. | |
Let's see if we can get it on here. | |
Bookmark. | |
If it just pops up, I'm going to be fucking thrilled. | |
Nope. | |
All right. | |
Of course not. | |
These are all fake. | |
Of course it is. | |
All right. | |
Well, I was going to say, yeah, let's look for a couple more things. | |
Oh, it got submitted for a moderation, I said. | |
Well, I'm serious. | |
Yeah, that's good. | |
The bees are unionized and woke. | |
Michelle side said in the chat. | |
You got Stay Well Copper? | |
That's great, dude. | |
Is that a weed pipe? | |
American Candle Pack, the Lux box, magnesium. | |
Not a weed pipe? | |
What are you putting in that thing? | |
Well, it's a bong. | |
Yeah. | |
That'd be kind of fun. | |
No. | |
Coconut teeth? | |
Natural teeth? | |
This is all just... | |
I want to know the My Products. | |
Standard classic collection. | |
My Pillow, Freedom Flag. | |
They're selling the art. | |
Remember behind Lindell at Lindell TV, he's got this Jesus in a lion, which is kind of fun. | |
Dude. | |
They got Sad Patriotic Eagle. | |
They got Evanescence Jesus. | |
Why is he sad? | |
No, that's just Fieldie from corn. | |
Yeah, that is. | |
Come on now. | |
Here's Jesus giving an open hand, which is exciting. | |
That's nice. | |
That is nice. | |
All right. | |
Well, so that's some original artwork that's for sale. | |
Oh, they have beach bark brittle. | |
Dude, I love beach bark brittle. | |
No, I've never had that, but I imagine. | |
Good point, Jenny. | |
Drawing out here, bees follow a queen, and God doesn't want women in leadership. | |
Very cool. | |
You know, bees are onto something, right? | |
That's right, dude. | |
I think, though, let's hear it for bees. | |
Let's give it up to you. | |
I should double salutes in the chat for the bees. | |
Yeah, let's drop some bees in the chat and let's see those salutes. | |
All right, my cross. | |
Let's see. | |
Here's a dentipup dog toy for horror. | |
My slippers spray. | |
Well, it's a spray to protect the leather of my slippers. | |
My slippers leather protectants. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
It causes interesting. | |
Weird endocrine cancers, though. | |
Don't spray them on the inside. | |
Well, yeah. | |
Yeah, yeah, right. | |
Outside only. | |
All right. | |
We can't be held liable if even a bit of this touches your skin. | |
They do have a body pillow version of my pillow. | |
Somebody in the chat said they wanted to be known as the my body pillow guy. | |
See, that's nice. | |
I like that. | |
My waifu pillow guy. | |
Shirts, really cheap shirts. | |
Yeah, you can get the Freedom USA Patriot three-pack. | |
One for all three days of the three-day week. | |
This product has five stars too. | |
Get these for work. | |
Whoa. | |
$9 with the promo code. | |
Will you give me some $3? | |
USA's out of stock. | |
Well, it's not a three-pack. | |
It's not a three-pack. | |
All right, well. | |
Let's put in all my personal information really quick. | |
Get a triple XL or Patriots. | |
We need as much as we can get. | |
Well, I want to fit someone else in the installation. | |
Well, I buy 3XL and then I tailor them into two shirts. | |
All right. | |
Well, so that's my Lindell segment. | |
I've been tailoring my pants lately, and I do like doing them. | |
It is nice sometimes to treat yourself to have them fit right. | |
Yeah, I like having them fit good. | |
I have no segue relating to that. | |
Fuck it, let's go. | |
Well, I want to talk about something this week. | |
And I guess we could get your personal opinions in a second. | |
Alligator Alcatraz. | |
Fuck, man, fuck. | |
So this week, Donald Trump visited Florida's newly constructed migrant detention facility dubbed Alligator Alcatraz, which is located on an airstrip in the Everglades. | |
I'm not sure if you knew that. | |
An airstrip. | |
Man. | |
And then in the Trump voice, it's known. | |
I'm terrible at it. | |
Jared, do you have the dock up? | |
You're better at Trump than I am, right? | |
I don't know if I had that. | |
I shared the double salute stuff. | |
If you go down to the alligator Alcatraz segment there. | |
It's known as Alligator Alcatraz. | |
No, see, I'm not good at it. | |
It's known as Alligator Alcatraz. | |
It's not bad, and you can read it right there. | |
Read the rest. | |
Which is very appropriate because I looked outside. | |
Okay, but you got to turn it down when you do that. | |
That's not a place that I want to go hiking. | |
I don't even go hiking. | |
My feet hurt. | |
Okay, the spurs. | |
He's got the bone spurs. | |
Okay, I don't want to read anymore. | |
But very soon, the facility will house some of the most menacing migrants, some of the most vicious people on the planet. | |
So the strangest thing about him is he likes to think that everything is like a comic book. | |
Totally he does. | |
The most menacing migrants. | |
You know that someone made like a full Trump comic book with him. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
Where he's like, you know, like that. | |
Remember that clip of him walking back from that helicopter with his tile on? | |
You know, there's like a manga version of that where he's like, it's shot from below and his like jacket's blowing in the wind. | |
You know, and there's all the action lines. | |
I guarantee that people are like making horny comic books about that. | |
It's funny because I took that as like the most depressed I've ever seen, Todd. | |
Can I share a funny story real quick? | |
Yeah, okay. | |
I'm gonna share a funny story. | |
So I brought the team from the food Truck. | |
Yeah. | |
I brought them a bunch of little chocolates. | |
They're little like chocolate bears, and inside is a plastic egg with a surprise. | |
And they're called yaoi. | |
Yaoi. | |
Yaoi. | |
So I go, hey guys, I brought you guys a bunch of yaoi. | |
Uh-oh. | |
Okay. | |
And apparently, yaoi is also like manga, young boy, gay love romance. | |
See, I didn't know that. | |
I didn't know that either, but they all knew that. | |
So they're like, they didn't know it was treats. | |
So they go, hold up, what the fuck did you bring this? | |
And then they were disappointed that I didn't know that. | |
Cool boss. | |
I know. | |
They're like, dude, you're bringing us that cool shit. | |
Thanks, man. | |
Thanks for bringing it. | |
But so I learned that Yaoi has another definition beyond just fun chocolate candy. | |
That's good. | |
That's cool. | |
And yeah. | |
So very soon. | |
See a connection there. | |
Brown van connection. | |
Yeah, that's great. | |
So the site, though, Alcatraz, rapidly set up with tents and trailers. | |
I don't know if you've seen pictures. | |
I've seen pictures of it. | |
Yeah, it looks shockingly like other things I've seen in my past. | |
Maybe like a concentration. | |
Yeah, okay. | |
It's intended to house up to 5,000 detainees as part of Trump's intensified immigration enforcement and mass deportation campaign. | |
It is, again, it's in the fucking Everglades. | |
It's isolated. | |
It's got natural barriers and not just swamps. | |
It's also got alligators and marshland that are touted as security features, which I think is fully insane behavior. | |
It's absolutely fucking insane. | |
It's like we are not medieval. | |
We don't have pikes and moats. | |
What the fuck are we talking about? | |
So the whole idea of alligator Alcatraz is disgusting as fuck to me. | |
Oh, that's funny. | |
Speaking of the food truck, I don't know if that's a local person. | |
I love the, and then they list a very specific food type that might get you closer to being doxed. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
Thanks. | |
I'm glad you like that food. | |
Yeah, you know, I hate the fact that alligator Alcatraz already exists like that, like alone. | |
Oh, well, that's the craziest thing. | |
I don't know if you're aware how many days you think it took to build alligator. | |
Eight days. | |
Well, seven days, and on the eighth day, they rest. | |
Fuck off. | |
Is that how that works? | |
Fuck off. | |
It's absolutely fucking disgusting. | |
Yeah, it's just so gross. | |
So gross. | |
And the fact that they're selling merch, which we'll probably talk about the merch I've seen later, but the fucking merchandise really, really. | |
It messes with me bad, man. | |
It messes with me so fucking bad. | |
So clearly the project has drawn significant criticism from environmentalists, indigenous groups, immigration advocates, and Mr. Dundee, who cited concerns over environmental impact, detainee welfare and harsh conditions, and the cultural significance of the land. | |
But the interesting thing is we haven't heard anything yet from Captain Hook. | |
Yeah, what up? | |
Didn't this guy get eaten? | |
What? | |
Shme? | |
Didn't Shmee get eaten? | |
Schmee got eaten and so did his hand, removed. | |
And Hook. | |
Yeah, Captain Hook. | |
Yeah, I also slipped in a Dundee joke there, too. | |
I heard Dundee, I appreciate that. | |
So despite legal challenges and protests, state and federal officials are moving forward, framing the facility as a key component in expanding detention and capacity and streamlining deportations, which I think is interesting because they're saying it actually only has 3,000 beds. | |
And then there's another facility close by that has 2,000 beds. | |
But they're wanting to detain 3,000 people a day. | |
I mean, just staying. | |
Or if you're Laura Lumer, I want to feed them 65 million Latino Americans. | |
Feed 65 million to the alligators. | |
Wait, what? | |
That's what Laura Luma said. | |
Laura Luma. | |
See what fucking Jigsaw said on the internet. | |
She rolled her trike into frame and fluorescence fucking spark on. | |
Yeah. | |
I need to grab water. | |
I'm sorry. | |
Yeah, go do that. | |
I'm going to watch. | |
I'm going to pull up this Laura Lumer talking about alligator Alcatraz. | |
She tweeted it. | |
I don't know if she talked about it, but she said that basically that we have 65 million meals for the alligators, which is not the number of immigrants we have here. | |
It's the number of Latin Americans we have here. | |
Okay. | |
Yeah, like Latino citizens or Latino people here in the United States. | |
Yeah. | |
So that's racist and gross. | |
Yeah, bad. | |
I don't like that at all. | |
I'm going to give it a. | |
Oh. | |
Oh, no. | |
Oh, no. | |
What a fucking nightmare. | |
Great. | |
That's the world right now. | |
Yeah, I hate it. | |
I hate it. | |
I hate it. | |
What? | |
I hate it. | |
Do you ever sing about it? | |
Because I fucking hate it. | |
All right. | |
Well, before you do that, I do have a little clip of Trump talking about how these folks locked up here, if they want to escape, you know, how they could. | |
What it would look like? | |
Well, how they could avoid being immediately eaten. | |
Okay, cool. | |
Like a little bit of a head start. | |
1% chance of surviving. | |
Oops. | |
I got to unmute it. | |
Thanks. | |
We're going to teach them how to run away from an alligator, okay? | |
If they escape prison, how to run away. | |
Don't run in a straight line. | |
Run like this. | |
A little zigzag. | |
It's a little clip of James Bond I pulled and running over. | |
Oh, I love it. | |
See, I can do it too. | |
Like, I could run the Steven show. | |
I could piece together funny clips of stuff. | |
Yeah, of course you can. | |
It was fucking James Bond running across the heads of alligators. | |
Yeah, that was fucking sick, dude. | |
Thanks. | |
Appreciate it. | |
We all find out that Byron stole that joke from Crowder's show today. | |
Well, yeah, of course I did. | |
I actually didn't. | |
No, I didn't listen to the Alligator Alcatraz episode. | |
I just listened to commercials today. | |
So I will eventually. | |
But I also, on a more serious note, pulled some of the press conference that he had about this. | |
I think it was on the first. | |
Let me grab the link here. | |
And we will listen to a little bit of that. | |
It was about an hour long. | |
I cut it down to six minutes. | |
I cut the meat out, But this is kind of fun. | |
You've done a fantastic job. | |
Even the microphone works well. | |
That's good. | |
Wow. | |
Good job, James. | |
Okay, so then I did a little cut off. | |
No, I did a little cut there. | |
Oh, I thought it was cut off. | |
No, that was me just moving it forward. | |
Yeah. | |
Good job, James. | |
I hear you did really, really fantastic. | |
Worked hard. | |
You're like in the construction business for a few days, right? | |
Cool. | |
Congratulations for all the hard work to make this facility possible. | |
It's amazing. | |
Thanks as well to Florida Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson. | |
All right. | |
So in a second, we're going to zoom out to kind of, you know, this packed house of a press conference. | |
Where is Wilton's hat, by the way? | |
The Gulf of America hat? | |
You know what it says underneath it? | |
No. | |
It says another Trump development. | |
I believe. | |
Trump Coast. | |
Basically, yeah. | |
Trump Coast. | |
It's like Trump. | |
It's like we said. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
Hi, Walton. | |
Been a long time. | |
I'm going to turn that up one more time. | |
And also, thanks, Jesse, for telling me about this little add-on here to the Chrome Brown. | |
Thank you. | |
Congressman Byron Donalds. | |
Where's Byron? | |
Hi, Byron. | |
You're cutting that, right? | |
How are you? | |
Wait, what do you mean? | |
You think I would be cutting? | |
Where's Byron? | |
I'm right here. | |
Hi, Byron. | |
How are you? | |
I'm pretty good. | |
Good. | |
Why wouldn't I cut that? | |
Am I a fucking dipshit? | |
Where's Byron? | |
I'm right here. | |
Hi, Byron. | |
How are you? | |
I'm awesome. | |
How are you? | |
Good. | |
Nice. | |
All right. | |
We just need to clean those up a little bit. | |
Oh, clean them up for you. | |
They're a little nasty. | |
I agree. | |
They're a little gritty, but thanks. | |
Good. | |
Florida Speaker of the House, Daniel. | |
Look at how it's nice chairs, first of all. | |
This is what eight days preparation gets you. | |
Dude, those chairs are like wedding chairs. | |
Yeah, they're bad. | |
Perez. | |
Daniel? | |
Daniel, thank you, Daniel. | |
You didn't want to sit up here with us, Daniel. | |
Executive Director of the Florida Division of Emergency Management, Kevin Guthrie. | |
Hi, Kevin. | |
Hey. | |
Good job. | |
The gate on the screen. | |
Acting Director of ICE, Todd Lyons. | |
Todd, great job. | |
She has no that ICE. | |
Senator Joe. | |
ICE has more funding now than any other, like more than the FBI, more than any other law enforcement ever. | |
Well, of course, yeah. | |
He's a private army. | |
Yeah. | |
Which he is. | |
Good. | |
Gruiters is a great guy. | |
Where is Joe? | |
Gooners. | |
We love Joe. | |
Thank you very much. | |
We like you. | |
Thank you. | |
Sorry. | |
This guy's nose. | |
You know, noses bleed, but his bleeds brown, which is just kind of fun. | |
Great job. | |
And Senator Joe Gruiters is a great guy. | |
Where is Joe? | |
We love Joe. | |
Thank you very much. | |
We like you. | |
Thank you, Joe. | |
Thank you, Mr. President. | |
We love you. | |
Welcome home. | |
Great. | |
All right. | |
So just a little break. | |
How are y'all feeling so far about the press conference? | |
About the press conference? | |
Yeah. | |
I feel like it's a dumb ask fest. | |
really cool stuff um who's the bald freak boy that um Elon's wife or Yeah, he's there too. | |
Ron D. Santis is there as well. | |
And Christy Noam, of course. | |
Great. | |
So we might hear a little bit about them or from them, but I thought we should continue. | |
I like your shirt, Jared, by the way. | |
Oh, thank you. | |
I like Wawa. | |
I could use a hoagie right now, but. | |
Yeah. | |
Good stuff. | |
Ron, I'd like to thank you personally. | |
I just want to say this. | |
I just want to say, I just want to put this on the record. | |
Yeah. | |
better than sheets? | |
This is cut... | |
Oh, oh, yeah, or Publix or any of these. | |
Yeah, I agree. | |
But let me tell you this. | |
You know what rodent is supporting Alligator Alcatraz? | |
Who? | |
It's Bucky, bitch. | |
Oh, no. | |
Oh, no. | |
Yeah, fuck that rat. | |
Get him out of here. | |
Wawah forever. | |
Is that true, Bucky the Beaver? | |
It's actually? | |
Yeah, he's a fucking Republican chowdhead. | |
Oh, man. | |
Yeah. | |
That's sad. | |
Yeah, that's right. | |
That's right. | |
I vote for Trimp. | |
I put all the money into it. | |
Out of the other piece of shit. | |
That's awful. | |
That's right. | |
Well, that's sad. | |
I've never been to a Bucky's, but I have been excited to go visit, but now I'm not. | |
Not anymore. | |
Yeah, we're going to Wawa. | |
We're going to Philly. | |
We're going to Wawa. | |
I actually am going to Philly in like a week. | |
Yeah? | |
Yeah. | |
Hell yeah. | |
I'll go get a hoagie in your honor. | |
Get a hug. | |
Double blue. | |
Ron, I'd like to thank you personally. | |
Double Philly. | |
You're still my friend, and you'll always be my friend. | |
And we may have some skirmishes even in the future. | |
I doubt it. | |
But we'll always come back because we just seem to, we have blood that seems to match pretty well. | |
We have a relationship that's been a very strong one for a long period of time. | |
Usually when my wife and I are fighting, I always say, you know, babe, stop fighting. | |
We have blood that matches very well. | |
I think it works very well. | |
Is that what you said? | |
You say matches? | |
It's insane. | |
Pretty well. | |
We have blood that seems to match pretty well. | |
That's pretty well. | |
We have blood that matches well. | |
Blood that seems to match pretty well. | |
That's good. | |
That's romance. | |
Romance starts with blood that seems to match well. | |
And we may fight in the future, but we won't. | |
Of course. | |
Of course not. | |
Because you're my friend. | |
Our blood looks too good together. | |
Yep. | |
What? | |
Have a relationship too. | |
It's been a very strong one for a long period of time, and I appreciate it. | |
Very much appreciate it. | |
All right. | |
I'm going to have a little pause. | |
I thought the blood was funny. | |
I thought also, like, Trump doesn't like DeSantis, right? | |
Like, a little cough there. | |
No, he doesn't like DeSantis at all. | |
DeSanctimonia. | |
He's caught wearing those lids. | |
God wearing those lids. | |
He eats pudding with his fingers. | |
Come on now. | |
Sloppy. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
Sloppy Ron. | |
They didn't even call him that. | |
They should have, though, right? | |
Sloppy Ron's a great trumpet name. | |
Like real garbage pail kids vibes, but when you see him eat the pudding, it's like, it's definitely like, oh, that's that stinky kid that no one really wants to sit next to him at lunch or whatever. | |
I love that. | |
All right, let's continue. | |
Greasy hair. | |
Pudding mouth. | |
He does have pudding mouth. | |
He just has kind of childish kind of repressed child behaviors. | |
Yeah. | |
We have a relationship that's been a very strong one for a long period of time, and I appreciate it. | |
Very much appreciate it. | |
All right. | |
And also, Secretary Noam, I'd like to have you say a few words. | |
You have been unbelievable, the job you've done. | |
You and our favorite person, Tom, Tom Holman. | |
And your whole staff, because it's a lot of people, and Tom acknowledges it all the time. | |
Tom Holman respects you so much these days. | |
Yeah. | |
He looks unwell. | |
I read an article that I think, didn't he say that he's unable to be with his wife because of the threats of violence against him? | |
Ron? | |
No, Tom Holman, yeah. | |
Tom. | |
So apparently. | |
Yeah, his wife. | |
Put your wife and things. | |
Would you be shocked if I told you that the party of love and tolerance isn't loving or tolerant? | |
Tom Holman's finding out the hard way. | |
Check it out. | |
And are you sort of haunted? | |
You said, is that partly because you think that your own children, you couldn't give that same childhood to? | |
Shameful, yeah. | |
I mean, I'm busy. | |
I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend. | |
Harvey Weinstein. | |
I was going to say, he looks fully like Harvey Weinstein. | |
That's him. | |
Maybe that's why I'm like, he doesn't look good. | |
No. | |
He looks like he's got a gangrene his dick. | |
He kind of does. | |
He's got that deep shame. | |
And honestly, man, knowing, well, you know. | |
Give me a Gerald. | |
Ugh. | |
How about a Gerald, another? | |
What was the other one? | |
Nice. | |
As I got more and more climbed the ladder of what I've done with Ice Director and now back, I don't see my family very much. | |
My wife's living separately from me right now, mainly because I worked many hours, but also because of the death threats against me. | |
She's someplace else. | |
All right. | |
His wife left him. | |
His wife is leaving him. | |
Mainly because I work long hours, but also because of the death threats. | |
You're sure about that? | |
No, that doesn't work either. | |
If I got death threats, I don't think that my wife would be like, well, I got to go. | |
If that was the reality, I wouldn't be actively talking about it. | |
I think that would be a personal thing that I would keep. | |
Totally. | |
Because if you actually truly care about the safety of your wife, you wouldn't be discussing. | |
You'd be like, yeah, she lives at my home with me. | |
Yeah. | |
So if he doesn't care about the safety of anyone. | |
That's true. | |
Not his boys or his wife. | |
I mean, no. | |
Oh, God. | |
This is like a crummy human being. | |
Oh, I forgot. | |
Just suck. | |
Hello, Shrug Nation. | |
We should give these guys a shout-out. | |
Yeah, thanks so much for the Shrug Nation. | |
All right. | |
I'm not going to give anyone a particular shout-out, but I do want to say thanks, everyone, for supporting us over. | |
Why don't we give someone a particular shout-out? | |
Well, because then I have to look it up and pick in. | |
Yeah, pick what. | |
I don't know. | |
We had someone. | |
Alex? | |
Alex. | |
Alex, thanks for being a shrug club. | |
And James. | |
And James. | |
Alex and James. | |
I'm sure we got a couple of those. | |
I appreciate it. | |
I was just saying thanks, everyone. | |
Alex, so much. | |
Thank you. | |
James, the same amount of thank you to you. | |
You piece of shit. | |
Great. | |
We're just pretending. | |
What are we doing? | |
No, I honestly appreciate everyone who's watching this. | |
Everyone who has donated money. | |
Donated, who has given money, supported us. | |
Oh, Adrian, shout out. | |
Apparently you're sleeping. | |
Adrian, hey, thank you so much. | |
Adrian, oh my gosh, you should be awake. | |
It's a school night or not a school night. | |
It's not, dude. | |
It is Patriot Eve, bro. | |
Adrian's saluting in her sleep. | |
And for that, what a piece of shit. | |
Could you imagine walking in on your partner and they're just laying in bed like saluting in their sleep? | |
That's like listening to us. | |
I see the salute statue. | |
Their face saluting in your sleep. | |
I don't know. | |
I was trying, but it's late. | |
All right. | |
I'm here for it. | |
All right. | |
Back to the press conference. | |
Is that okay, Jared? | |
I feel like I cut you off. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
I just said something about their watching us in bed, just a dark room, but their face illuminated by us doing this. | |
We're on a fucking 44 to 55-inch TV. | |
You know that meme where the guy frustratingly closes the fireworks window and then turns on his really bright screen and looks into his monitor screen? | |
That's what people are doing right now. | |
They're like fucking annoying fireworks and they put on headphones and we go in their ears. | |
Thank you for listening and tuning in. | |
I appreciate you. | |
As soon as I'm ready, I'll come on you first. | |
Sorry. | |
All right. | |
So Christy, she's got a big hat. | |
It's more than half the size of her head. | |
This is comical. | |
There's no way that they're like, hey, this is fashion. | |
I love this. | |
Right. | |
No, it seems like a like, and she's posed, I mean, she looks like a mannequin right now. | |
Just like the lifelessness of the hair. | |
Yeah. | |
Respects to staff that you both built. | |
And you're really doing one of the great jobs. | |
And it was great that you could run her father. | |
Yeah, built such a great facility. | |
So please say a few words. | |
Thank you very much. | |
Thank you. | |
I don't know if this will work. | |
All right. | |
So her mic is not working as well. | |
She got it. | |
Well, kind of. | |
This facility here is a fantastic representation of what can happen when all of government works together and when it's accountable to the taxpayers and to the citizens that live here. | |
The president signed an executive order that allowed us to build partnerships with states and with local law enforcement officers, which is exactly how things should function in this country. | |
More power, more authority given to people locally so that they can take control of their own destiny. | |
And so we have already been working under the 287G program to deputize law enforcement officers, whether they be state highway Patrol, local sheriff's departments in all of our states, and allow them to go out with our ICE officers, our border patrol officers, and make sure that we're getting the worst of the worst off of the streets. | |
We also recognize that as we've been doing that and returning people back to their home countries, we need detention facilities. | |
We need beds to put them in place so that they can have their due process before they return home. | |
And this facility is exactly. | |
Okay, well, we can pause there. | |
I'd love a good due process being in the future. | |
She learned a new one. | |
Yeah. | |
I thought that they weren't doing that. | |
Well, now they can point to it and be like, we are doing it. | |
She just said we are. | |
I said I am. | |
She said due process. | |
And still just not do it, but then you'll have 100 shuds every day just tirelessly on the internet. | |
Well, she just said that they are. | |
She puts them due process. | |
Yeah, we're letting deputies, highway patrols. | |
We put the riot and patriot, idiot. | |
If you're an animal control person, you can have a gun now. | |
Heck yeah, of course. | |
Give the dog a gun. | |
Okay, why not? | |
Who else could have a gun? | |
Rangers of any kind? | |
I think that if Christy Noam's dog had a gun. | |
Great point. | |
Kill itself. | |
Fuck. | |
Well, I don't know why it said that. | |
That doesn't make any sense. | |
And it wasn't nice. | |
It's a terrible visual. | |
Oh, my God. | |
All right. | |
What I want every single governor in this country to consider doing with us. | |
So that was the break there. | |
That was terrible. | |
You want to do one, Jared? | |
All right. | |
Great. | |
So, I mean, what do you mean? | |
Due process sounds good, and deputizing pretty much anyone to help be an ICE is kind of cool. | |
Yeah, well, I mean, anyone can be a due process. | |
Just pass out the uniform, the brown shirt, and everyone can just kind of like join and have fun. | |
Oh, Jared's doing his lung treatment. | |
Nebulizer. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
That's very cool. | |
Nice to see you. | |
I hope you're feeling better. | |
All right. | |
We got more press conference. | |
But I want everybody to recognize the detention facilities that ICE adheres to is a higher standard than is required at state levels, at local Department of Corrections facilities, sheriff's offices. | |
This is a state-of-the-art facility, air-conditioned, isolated though, for security purposes, which is very helpful. | |
And I appreciate so many people being willing to work together to make a project like this happen. | |
Right here on this location, we'll have about 3,000 beds. | |
Other location, we'll have another 2,000 beds that will allow us to bring individuals across the country that we are bringing in and incarcerating for violating our laws and immediately get them out of the country as soon as we possibly can. | |
It's exactly what we need to be perpetuating in other states. | |
And what I would say is, I'm not sure, but I also like that she basically says that they're going to come here and we're going to get them out of the country as quick as possible when she just said she was going to offer due process. | |
I want all of you to notice these flyers that we've got. | |
Everybody who sees these flyers or anybody who sees these news clips should know, oh, you can still go home on your own. | |
You can self-deport. | |
So, yeah, she did say, I don't know, I actually might have missed what she said. | |
You may have heard it. | |
She got a celeb in the chat. | |
I'm sorry. | |
Oh, wait. | |
Oh, fuck yeah. | |
Fuck yeah, DJ Danarchy. | |
Hey, buddy. | |
Danarchy. | |
Wow, we got to play a song in a minute. | |
You gotta play a song in a minute. | |
Yeah, I gotta. | |
Like, can you just record them? | |
Hey, hit record on logic, and we're just going to play some clips, make a song. | |
Make a song. | |
I'm just kidding. | |
We'll give Danarchy this one. | |
Of Nick DiFawla doing a fucking hell of a laugh. | |
Anyways, back to her talking about self-deporting. | |
You piece of shit. | |
Piece of shit. | |
The ultimate piece of shit. | |
DJ Danarchy. | |
The ultimate piece of shit in the chat. | |
Hell yeah. | |
I appreciate you very much. | |
And about that. | |
So, you know, yes, saying that we will get them out of the way. | |
Did she say? | |
We're going to get them all out of the country immediately after we do due process. | |
Yeah. | |
That we obviously have already determined what's going to happen after that due process. | |
Yeah. | |
That's not due process. | |
That's not due process. | |
Isn't the definition of due process? | |
Hey, listen, we're going to let you share your case right before we murder you. | |
It's fine. | |
Well, yeah, but no matter what you say, it's not going to change our mind. | |
You're going to go. | |
This is like that film. | |
Nothing but trouble. | |
We're doing torture before we get you out of here, dummy. | |
Squat for nine hours. | |
Ooh, DJ Danarchy's running an audio hijacker right now. | |
Hell yeah. | |
Oh, man. | |
I tell you what. | |
Oh, great answer. | |
Oh, I'm fine with that. | |
Wonderful. | |
And maybe. | |
Big butt. | |
You get the butt. | |
Classic. | |
As soon as I'm ready, I'll come on you first. | |
Okay. | |
So many clips. | |
But it doesn't make sense. | |
That's an insane way to look at due process. | |
Well, it's just because she's using due process as a buzzword and she's not actually meaning anything behind it, which I don't expect. | |
I don't expect anything less, but of course. | |
But I've got a little bit more voice. | |
The suspense is killing me. | |
What is the next campaign promise that you So this is the end. | |
I just was like, I'm fucking sick of hearing all these ghouls talk about this weird torture prison that they have. | |
I also, I just want to share that I love this entire visual here of Trump sitting there and it says breaking Senate passes big beautiful bill and the fucking haziest of all Washington DC It's like look at our shitty capital clouded in nebulizers stuff nebulizers everyone's nebulizing well I mean yeah you can't blame nebulizing and the federal government legal to gift each other all of this it | |
looks it looks hazy sometimes but it's just funny to see Trumping like it's like when like the the blaring like the the Ukraine war stuff was happening with the Applebee's commercial on the screen that's basically what this is just a little bit of chicken fried chicken fried yeah you plan to fulfill to the American people so this is the question promise that you plan to fulfill What is the next campaign? | |
She's really nervous, by the way. | |
What is the next campaign promise? | |
What is the next campaign promise that you plan to fulfill to the American people? | |
So we have turned this country around in less than six months. | |
It was getting rid of. | |
And he didn't say anything. | |
He doesn't have an answer, but he did talk about how Joe Biden's the worst president ever in history. | |
Next campaign promise. | |
And a couple other things that he had done already. | |
Yeah. | |
That's what's coming next is more of the stuff. | |
And then this is something else that he really focused in on. | |
I got rid of rules, regulations, and all of the things that I got rid of already. | |
I signed more executive orders than anybody in History Times. | |
It's like three or four. | |
And I got rid of just one I got rid of the other night. | |
You buy a house, they have a faucet in the house, Joe. | |
And the faucet, the water doesn't come out. | |
They have a restrictor. | |
In areas where you have so much water, they don't know what to do with it. | |
He's back on this bullshit again? | |
Dude, get ready. | |
It is working. | |
The water's dripping out. | |
And that's no good for me. | |
I like this hair lace and I like that hair nice and wet. | |
You have to stand in the shower for 20 minutes. | |
We'll take a break there. | |
He likes that hair nice and wet. | |
He liked that hair. | |
Imagine his hair wet. | |
Well, I think he is wet because it's very hot. | |
But imagine his hair. | |
Imagine him diving into a pool and then coming up out. | |
Cresting. | |
Imagine the water, like the tension hasn't broken yet and it just wrapped around his fucking skin. | |
He shakes his head. | |
And he emerges and it breaks. | |
Fast times at Richmond High? | |
What is that movie? | |
Of course, yes. | |
And I do want to say, Dan Arkey, I didn't catch any of his. | |
Did he have a rally today? | |
They said he was sloppy and feeling himself. | |
And also, a little shout-out. | |
I forgot that this says it. | |
Yeah. | |
Anytime you enter the chat, it goes... | |
T-T-T-T-Tero Kim That's a lot of fun. | |
I didn't. | |
I didn't see a rally in Iowa. | |
Oh, look it up in Iowa. | |
Iowa, dude. | |
That's Iowa What's Up? | |
Excuse me? | |
That's Iowa What's Up? | |
Oh yeah, it's just a dumb pop doubled in doubled down to that. | |
I know okay you gave me an escape route I sure did and you ran right into the alligator. | |
Yeah, of course got me dude All right So we're we're done talking about water 20 minutes before you get the soap out of the air and I put a thing in and it sounds funny, but it's really not it's horrible and when you wash your hands you turn on the faucet no water comes out you wash it and the water barely comes out so this was done by crazy people and I wrote it all off and got it approved in Congress so that they can't just change it because I did it in my first term everyone's | |
happy and then one of the first things water again came back because he put the restriction we're getting water again finally you might be getting water i haven't showered in five years yeah because you're standing there you don't have time for that i don't have time we're getting we're getting water again he's crying and collecting it in a jar i don't have to do this anymore what was i yeah what did i get up and grab earlier oh my god but | |
there's restrictions and washing machines uh washing machines they give you like a quarter of this bottle a quarter of that bottle oh i can't stand it they give you that for the does he know how laundry works they provide you with the water yeah dude i don't know if you know this but they put they only put eight ounces of water in for how many shirts you just dump it that's why he wears a new straight into the hamper well yeah that's right dude these bottles and | |
the people came to me from whirlpool they said we can't make a machine that's competitive we can't make a machine and it doesn't work why they don't let us use water do you have any problems with water no we have so much we don't know what to do with it you know it comes down from heaven right okay so water does come down from heaven you know that's true this guy took away my fucking health care so i love the water cycle i love i love it when the water is evaporated from the sea and lakes goes up to heaven heaven heaven where the angels | |
let it down upon us yeah exactly that's what i thought the little cherubic baby angels were just taking a pee on our heads that's gross and then when we hear a dang old thunder it's because the angels they've gone bowling byron uh uh angels are bowling i think you wanted me to do that bowling oh that's good that's very good and i uh it's it's uh we're having tropical fucking storm out here tonight actually oh are you getting the | |
residuals of that that monsoon berry that hit uh vegas was it berry no i don't know no i don't know if it's still raining out here all of that the washing machines the whole thing the dishwashers that was the other one | |
they give you like this much water right up to there oh nice to do your dishes you know what they do they keep pressing the button so they end up doing the dishes ten times they end up using more water than you would have used if you did it right in the first place so all of that stuff has been written off it sounds crazy it's a little things uh the straw all right so that's when i stuff do they give you all of that water in one bottle well yeah whirlpool is it like a single six they can work with a little bit more water yeah but when | |
it comes to this much of a water bottle which is how he does water you know yeah yeah exactly he's never experienced it outside the bottle he's just really good at articulating uh how much water you use when you shower so i normally use like uh like a quart of melania she comes in she says trump you gotta turn the water off you've been in there for three | |
three minutes you gotta turn the water off she says yeah and so i'm in there and i'm trying to get the soap out of my hair and she says back to me you gotta you can only turn it on when you're trying to rinse off and so i tell you i gotta put my water in my hair i love to be wet you're much better than i am like a trump gilbert godfreed hybrid well how about that once again if you want to hear the rest of this episode go to shrug.club and if you like what we're doing although | |
it is free you can support us financially and become a piece of shit we Really appreciate you. | |
Thanks so much again for your time. | |
You'll hear from us real soon. | |
Take care. | |
You've been listening to an Audio Wool original produced by Byron McCoy. |