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May 31, 2025 - Lionel Nation
18:13
Congratulations, You’re Smarter Than 98% of the Planet — Here’s What That Means

Congratulations, You’re Smarter Than 98% of the Planet — Here’s What That Means

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Time Text
All right, dear friend.
I always wait a couple of seconds before I begin.
Hope you're well.
Hope you're well.
This is Friday.
What is it?
1226.
1226 in the morning.
How are you, ladies and germs?
How are you?
Getting my stuff ready.
Getting everything out of my book bag.
I got a book bag.
Did you have a book bag when you were in school?
Did you have one?
Did you have a book bag?
Did you have one of those elastic rubber things that stretched around your book?
It had this clip, but it was made of rubber for you to hold your books.
Remember that?
Did you ever cover your books at the beginning of the year in a newspaper?
There we go!
There we go.
Did you ever cover your books in...
You'd cover your books, cover them in like we used to use a My mother would cover them.
What are we covering our books for?
You cover them.
Why?
To protect them.
Protect them from what?
But we had books.
We had a book bag.
We would lug our books to and fro.
And I don't mean an afro.
To and fro.
It was something.
Remember that?
Little things.
Give me an idea, by the way.
I did not have a book bag.
We carried our books.
We used paper bags to cover.
Yes.
You would rent books.
I have a book bag.
Remember that one?
I love that.
I'm getting out of my book bag, as it were.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm in a great mood.
It's the end of the week.
It's been a tremendous week.
That's all I'll say.
A lot of other great stuff going on, which you don't care about.
I'm not going to bore you with a lot of stuff.
A lot of good stuff.
For me.
Every day you wake up and you're vertical.
That's a great thing.
That's it.
Anyway, I was trying to think, as I'm putting together today's shows, here's my bag of pods.
We have a coffee machine.
I love these.
The pod.
This is the best thing that ever happened.
Can you hear me okay, by the way?
Can you hear me okay?
Can you hear me?
Good.
Let me make sure you can hear me.
It's been a fun week.
It's been a good week.
It's been a good week.
Good week.
Good people.
Good fun.
Good, clean fun.
Good, clean, absolute fun.
Ladies and germs, we are talking some kind of fun.
Here's my SAG after card.
I've got a SAG after card.
They say, how did you get your card?
I got a SAG after card.
I love that.
What do I do with it?
But I show people the card.
Here's my door fob.
Do you ever look at this stuff in your...
Men, who carry a wallet?
Who carries a wallet?
Do you carry a wallet?
Men, who carries a wallet?
Lori Cox says, Hi, I'm happy to see your face.
5x5.
Thank you, Lori.
Who carries a wallet?
Here's my wallet.
You know why I like this?
It's got a zipper.
It's kind of clunky.
But I need to have something for my keys.
I don't care.
I hate to carry stuff.
I don't like belts.
I don't like a lot of stuff.
No.
I always slimline.
I always slimline.
say, do I need this?
Do I really need But if the phone goes down, that's another story.
When the phone goes down in a sleepy little town right around San Antonio.
That's it.
There it is.
That's the wallet.
I'm always cleaning stuff out.
Throwing out receipts from stuff.
Old, old cards.
Here's a card.
Here's an old SAG-AFTRA card.
You know what I'm going to do?
And I love to do this.
You ever do this when you were a kid?
My father used to get a credit card in the mail.
He'd always go like this.
He'd cut it.
Make sure it's the right one.
And he'd cut it like this.
And you cut your...
You take this.
And you cut.
You cut this.
I don't know why.
Who's going to use this?
But I still do it.
I still do it.
I don't know why.
I still have this crazy belief system in cutting up credit cards.
Who needs a credit card?
Who needs it?
I was just thinking about all this stuff that we do and used to do.
How we've become so dependent on our phone.
And how today, I've got to negotiate because I'm outside.
I am in a system that has a Wi-Fi that for all practical purposes doesn't work.
and there's a Wi-Fi outside the door, but I don't...
So I have to go to 5G.
I'm just rambling.
I'm just rambling.
Did you see yesterday, my afternoon?
I tried to take you on a trip.
I got out of the subway.
I tried so much.
Got these, my new Nature's Bakery Fig Bar.
This is for 4 o 'clock.
This is when I start to fade.
You gotta always rev up.
So yesterday I was on the subway, and I took you with me.
And it was horrible, because the subway would have been great, but there was no signal.
I was on the N train.
Oh, it was filled with crazy people.
It was wonderful.
But I couldn't get this stuff out.
Anyway.
You took us by the soup place.
Yes!
Yes!
The soup Nazi.
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Wasn't that fun?
I ran into a guy yesterday.
I was downtown.
And right by the courthouse and saw him and he was a, I'm not going to mention him, but his name references a particular type of tropical fruit.
If he's watching, he knows who I am.
So yesterday I had...
I've been thinking about this.
By the way, do you find yourself I hope you're listening to me okay, because I didn't put in my headphones.
Did you...
I was going to say something really deep.
Really?
Oh, oh, oh!
Do you ever find yourself with a penchant?
A penchant?
a penchant, something where you are trying desperately to...
You become absolutely, positively hooked on something.
This past couple of days, for two days in a row.
So, This nice, this nice young man who walks in and does something for no particular reason to give us the illusion that he's doing something.
Thank you.
Don't know what it is.
I had, there's a great place, I think I told you, downtown.
A Vietnamese place called Bang, Trang Bang One, Bang, Bang One, Bang.
My friend's been there for years.
Andy, Trang Bang One.
It's called, ah, na.
N-H-A, Trang, T-R-A-N-G-1, Baxter Street.
This little street has more restaurants on one, on one street than you can possibly imagine.
One, one little street, one thin little street.
Hand-pulled noodles, bars, Asian, uh, but this is Vietnamese food.
And I had, uh, did a vegetarian pho, had a vegetarian banh mi, And something called morning glory.
Men, do you know what morning glory is?
Who knows what morning glory is?
You're a young man.
Do you ever know what it's called a morning glory?
Anybody?
Men?
Yes or no?
Last time I was in New York City, it was 1976.
It was wild.
It sure was.
It still is, my friend.
Anybody know what a morning glory is?
Anybody?
Girlfriend in the morning?
Morning glory?
Well, is that what they're called these days?
Oh, it was an old reference years ago.
Morning glory.
Anybody know what that means?
Anybody know?
Morning glory.
Anybody grasping that?
What time is it?
I still got some time.
Huh?
Apparently not.
Apparently not.
That's okay.
Anyway, it's called water spinach or morning glory or hollow.
It is such a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful food.
Such a wonderful, wonderful group of food.
It is just simply glorious.
Simply glorious.
Tropical sweet.
Lori says, they give it to racehorses?
I may be...
No, no, no, no, no.
Morning glory was a term that, good morning, star, shine, Oliver.
This referred to a group, a state of tumescence that young men in particular would find growing up first thing in the morning when you are, shall we say, ready for action, standing at attention.
Hey!
And that was a sign of things kind of working.
Your body said, okay, let's get everything going here.
It was something that morning wood.
There we go.
Morning chub.
There we go.
Pitching a tent.
So anyway, when I hear morning glory, irrespective of this, I kind of laugh.
that kind of makes me laugh.
And I, for two days, had some of the most incredibly We have morning glory, water, spinach.
I could eat this every single day.
It is a combination of stuff.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know how to explain this, but...
What's the big story for me this morning?
Give me a story right now.
Not a headline, but the big story.
What is the big story?
Come on!
Hurry up!
Hurry up!
Tell me.
I'm older than Pepper and it still happens.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
There's nothing wrong with that.
What is it, my friends?
What do you think?
Thank you.
If I were in charge of making a Voltron bot, I can't read that.
Thank you for that.
What, ladies and germs, Let me read some of your comments.
What is a big story?
Tell me what it is.
Tell me what it is.
Ellen DeGeneres arrested?
Wait a minute.
You know, it's funny you say that.
I'm looking at...
I don't know that.
Of course not.
Because you're saying that a lot of people just say these things.
Have you heard of GERD?
Did you hear GERD?
Ellen DeGeneres?
I'm looking, see I can't tell if you, I despise Ellen DeGeneres.
Hate her.
Not hate.
I choose her.
I choose her.
What's the big story?
Come on, do me a favor.
Tell me the big story.
What's the big story?
Come on, kids.
What's the big story?
Tell me what the big story is.
Let's hear it.
Come on!
Here I am.
What's the big story?
Judge stops tariffs.
Fred, by the way, raise your hand.
Who gives a shit about Judge stopping tariffs or letting the tariffs go?
Who cares about tariffs?
Raise your hand.
Seriously, raise your hand.
Dewey beats Truman.
Very good.
Who cares about...
Seriously, who cares about tariffs?
Answer me.
I'm not trying to be crude.
I'm not trying to be mean.
I love you, Fred.
I love you, Freddy.
Who cares about tariffs?
Who?
Who cares about tariffs?
Tell me.
Who?
Anybody?
No!
Do you talk about tariffs with any of your friends?
No.
If you don't talk about something with your friends, I don't want to talk to you about it at all.
Why is it that people think tariffs are friends?
Do you know the last time we had a tariff?
How about some tariffs that worked?
Anything?
Any idea?
We have no idea about tariffs.
We don't even know what a tariff was.
Nobody knew what the hell it was.
We're not even sure what the hell...
I don't know.
You knew kind of like, well, maybe it was some kind of tariff or something.
Maybe.
I guess.
I don't know.
Who remembers what a tariff is?
Who actually remembers a tariff?
Who?
Fill me in.
See?
You don't know.
You have no idea.
Nobody knew anything about a tariff.
Nobody's talking to your friends about tariff.
Look at this.
Leonora Ferrara says, Do you talk about this with friends?
Do you talk about those are friends?
What is this?
What do you talk about with your friends?
When you sit around, what is it?
Tariffs?
No!
What is the thing that is the most important?
Right now, something that would get everybody's attention to, what would it be?
Tell me.
Is it tariffs?
No, it's not tariffs.
What is it?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tariff sounds like an ice cream flavor.
I like that.
I want you to know about the Epstein files.
There you go.
Aliens.
There you go.
There you go.
Come on.
We talk about the Royals and Harry and Meghan.
I love them.
Maria.
Maria, I think that's the most fascinating thing in the world.
Finish that jury duty and get a life.
I did!
Ha ha!
That's done.
That's all I'll say.
That's done.
Okay, what else, my friends?
I don't think kids see their friends in real life nowadays.
The pushback from evil ones.
Our DOJ is failing us.
Bingo!
Crony capitalism is keeping me from buying a new EV or whatever.
So tell me, what is it that you talk about when you...
Tariffs generate money.
The judiciary is the fourth term of Obama.
The manhunt.
Hello, everyone.
There's Kord Oliver.
Ukraine ceasefire.
That might be good.
Gaza.
Gaza is rainforest.
Do you really understand?
You risk riding on the subway.
Subway is easy.
There's nothing on the subway.
Ryan says, my biggest concern is AI.
More than half of white-collar jobs will be gone in 10 years.
Yes!
Come on, I'm writing this down.
What is it?
Corrupt police in Massachusetts.
When you talk to your friends, what is the thing that really gets you going?
That's what I want to know.
Because more often than not, many of us, so many of us talk about stuff that we, for the life of us, it has, there's no basis to this whatsoever.
None.
That's what I want to talk about.
That's it precisely.
So that's it, my friend.
Tariffs are terrific-o.
My snap won't buy pop anymore.
Ooh, pop, I like that pop.
See, that's the thing.
and you've just given me this idea.
We always talk about what it is that we, For the most part, we play the hits that other people describe, or we talk about things that we think are important, but most of us do not find them important.
None.
We do it for purposes of So that's the way that goes.
So you know what?
Seriously, somebody writes, seriously, my, oh Kim, That's a good one.
Oh, I'm going to use that.
So listen to WABC right now in 17 minutes, and I'm going to use this.
I'm going to go in and ask you, what is it that you talk about?
I hate playing the hits that nobody's listening to, alright?
That's it.
See you, see you again.
So, 77 WABC.
Go to WABCradio.com or something.
Anyway, find this out.
Go and do it.
Go and do it.
Okay?
Go and do it.
Join the fun.
Join the frolic.
Join the mayhem.
This is the best live radio in the world.
And it's talk radio.
And it's the salvation of talk radio.
Alright, my friends.
That's it.
Don't forget to follow Lionel Nation.
Follow Mrs. L. And by the way, catch Mrs. L on Nancy Grace.
Oh my God, she's the star of Nancy Grace.
We'll talk about other stuff.
All right, my friends.
Have a great and glorious day.
See you next time.
Thanks so much for watching.
And don't forget, the monkey's dead.
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