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May 8, 2025 - Lionel Nation
11:39
Welcome to the Nightmare: NYC Like You’ve NEVER Seen It
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Time Text
*Train* *Train* That's not fair.
That's not fair.
That's not what I want.
This is the worst one ever.
Let me try this.
Let me spin this one around.
This is the worst.
I'm normally pretty good at this stuff.
Wait a minute.
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do this.
I want to do this.
That's not what I want.
That's not what I want.
Oh my god.
What the hell is this?
This is insanity, ladies and gentlemen.
That's not what I want to do.
There we go.
What is happening here?
You know what?
I don't want to do this.
Let me try it again.
Is anybody saying this?
Am I wasting my time?
Is this like the worst thing ever?
Seriously.
Seriously, is this the worst?
Can you see what I'm doing here?
It says an hour, I mean a minute and 28 seconds.
Is this, is this, this is the worst.
Okay, there you go.
Let me try to spin this thing around.
Let me try.
Let me try my best, alright?
Let me do my best.
This is what I want to do.
Orientation is locked.
I don't want to lock it in.
How do I unlock my orientation?
God damn it.
Keep talking to yourself.
Is this great or what?
It looks green.
I bet you say that to all the guys.
Alright, let me turn this around again.
Let me see this.
I'm going to try this again my friends.
I want to, let me see, I'm going to go like that.
This is portrait orientation on.
I want to do portrait orientation as lock is off.
I'm going to go like this.
I want to rotate back.
I'm going to go like this.
Come on!
Come on!
I'm gonna go...
*Pink*
Okay.
Alright.
Is everybody okay?
I'm sorry for that.
That was the worst.
I might even have to edit this.
Going by Glengarry.
I got done with this meeting.
I'll tell you all about it in a moment.
It was pretty interesting.
I shouldn't...
Look at these people.
Glengarry.
I'm going to take a different route back.
So we don't have to go through the same stuff.
Is everybody groovy?
Can you see me?
Is Fred Haddad on again?
You're buffering.
So let me tell you what I did.
That was awful, wasn't it?
You know what?
I'm going to keep it just as is.
I'm not going to edit a goddamn thing.
Can you see me?
Let me see this.
Is this okay?
Got it together.
Are we seeing this?
Are we straight?
Let me stop for a second.
Are you seeing this okay or is this in the wrong configuration?
Answer me yes or no.
It'll be five by five.
Can you see me?
Because I'm reading sideways.
Is this okay?
You're filming the street sideways.
All right.
I didn't want to go this way because you're going to bitch and moan about we like landscape.
I want landscape.
Well, you're not going to get landscape this time.
Look at this.
What a night.
I'll tell you what I did.
By the way, no complaining about...
Here we go.
Downstairs.
Downtown.
It's about 7 o 'clock right now.
Times Square.
New York City.
And I'm taking you there, my friends.
I am taking you there.
Look at all the tickets, people.
See this?
Can you see all those people?
There we go.
Sport people.
Tourists.
There's this look they have.
In any event, let me tell you what I did.
Receipt ought to receive you.
40-second clean now.
There we go.
Okay.
I went to a great, great deal.
It was a SAG-AFTRA meeting of local broadcasters.
I have been...
Check this out.
I have been a member.
Thank you.
I just tell people thank you whenever I see them.
Thank you.
Olive Garden.
Can you imagine coming to New York and going to the Olive Garden?
There should be a special place in hell for anyone who goes to the Olive Garden.
That's all I'm going to tell you.
So anyway, what I did was I went to this event.
See, look at this.
They took all this beautiful real estate of Times Square.
This is ridiculous.
This is all 7th Avenue.
What did they do?
They removed it for this.
Why?
Because they want to destroy street travel.
They want to make it all European.
Which is ridiculous.
Money exchange.
Everybody on their phone not paying attention.
I have not been here in a long time.
Huh?
You like this?
These are called macarons.
Not macaroon.
Don't let me catch you saying macaroon.
This is very touristy, my friends.
Oh, oh, before I get back to what I was doing, check out these artists.
Don't ever go there, because remember, the pictures you see on display, they didn't do.
And I promise you, when you get done after sitting for an hour, what's also great to do is just sit, look at the picture, and shake your head in disgust.
Or point and laugh.
That's actually pretty good.
Check this dude out here.
Very good!
That actually looks good.
Oh look at this woman here.
See, this is some type of a self-serving device here where people can...
You go on it, and this device does both a body scan and an x-ray of you simultaneously.
Krispy Kreme Donuts.
My friends, those of you from Tampa, know well Krispy Kreme Donuts.
My father, when we were on Florida Avenue, he could see that red light anywhere.
It was the most incredible thing in the world.
He could see that light and the red light meant the glazed doughnuts were coming off of the conveyor belt.
He would do a bat turn.
There was one on Florida Avenue, one on Kennedy.
Krispy Kreme.
And now, still, I think.
Look at this M&M's world.
This is Elle's favorite.
Look at that.
You like M&M's?
This is the world of M&M's.
Always popular.
Reasons I shan't describe.
So anyway, tonight was a SAG after meeting.
And I was meeting some people that I've known and heard about.
Jim Kerr, who's I think the longest running continuous disc jockey in New York.
I, of course, have my own particular level of fame.
But for reasons that you will not understand.
Just caught you live talking about and showing us New York.
Yes, that's correct.
I just happened to look down for the first time.
Look at this poor woman.
What's her story?
What's her story?
Seriously.
Forced.
I always think.
Mrs. L's got me thinking.
Forced into some type of mandatory.
Slavery.
How about the beginning show?
Do you mind this?
I know this is the...
Oh, look at this.
Thank you, buddy.
Appreciate it.
That's all right.
See that?
Never take anything from anybody.
Anything.
They give you a CD.
They hand it to you.
Then they'll sign it.
They used to do this.
They give you a CD.
Then they sign it.
Then they give you five bucks.
And you say, what the hell is this?
Five bucks for what?
For the CD you want.
I said, I don't want the CD, but I signed it.
I said, no, no, you signed it.
Look at this dude here.
Look at this.
People screaming for no particular reason.
In the corner right now of...
By the way, Jack Dempsey, the famous Jack Dempsey used to be right here.
Right here on our show.
And see, this is taking your life in your hands.
This is really dangerous.
As I was saying, landscape versus portrait.
I'm sorry.
Each has its own unique...
I'm normally pretty good at reconfiguring the portrait versus landscape, but I don't know what the hell happened.
And that's the secret to my style.
Confusion.
Total, total confusion.
Look at this handbag.
See that?
You got these Nigerian fellows.
Do you know what this is here?
Ladies and gentlemen, do you know what this building is right now?
Let me just tell you.
Let me just show you.
This is the Brill Building.
This is where everybody, Carole King, Jerry Goffin, Neil, I mean, this is history.
Like you cannot believe.
Now this I hate.
This is a woman asking, begging for money with her kids.
I do not believe in ever calling the police, but having your kids as bait?
No, no.
Sorry.
That is disgusting.
Check out this little portable sign on the bus, causing people to look at it, causing a distraction, and a potential death by incineration.
There's another guy here with his dog.
How are you?
Look at this, eh?
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