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Why Prepare Now?
00:08:29
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| I want to start off by saying I don't hate Michelle Obama. | |
| I can't stand Michelle Obama. | |
| There's a big difference. | |
| I don't know her, but I can't stand her. | |
| She's a phony ingrate. | |
| With that stupid brother of hers trying to do this podcast. | |
| Let me tell you something. | |
| There's been a lot of us, a lot of us right now, who've been doing this for a long time. | |
| We may not be the best, and we're certainly not the most popular. | |
| I can only speak for me. | |
| But some people think they can just walk in front of a microphone, whatever the hell that means, sit down, and then spew this incredible, this glory. | |
| Let me tell you something. | |
| You're not necessarily interesting because you were the first lady, which seems to be a job you ingrate, you don't care about. | |
| And that weird brother, look, I don't want to get into saying this one looks like this and this one looks a little, you know, I'm beyond that. | |
| But, as far as he looks, you know what I mean? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | |
| What is the matter with these people? | |
| And by the way, let me also say something. | |
| Just for nothing, if I were just constructing the scene, don't do profiles! | |
| That's all I'm going to say. | |
| Let me tell you about Michelle Obama. | |
| And I'm not going to bring up the Joan Rivers thing. | |
| I know what you're thinking, alright? | |
| I know what you're thinking. | |
| And you expect what? | |
| Listen, Candace Owens, take it easy! | |
| Spend more time with Brigitte Macron. | |
| This boat has sailed. | |
| And no, I don't know what the hell that means either. | |
| But she's an ingrate. | |
| And she's boring. | |
| And nobody cared about her. | |
| People always thought that we loved her. | |
| Nobody loved her! | |
| It was Barack Obama! | |
| And this absolute nonsense! | |
| This nonsense! | |
| Where Barack Obama went to her brother? | |
| To run it by him? | |
| What do you think I should do? | |
| What is this? | |
| Can you see this thumb? | |
| What the hell is this thumbs up for? | |
| In any event, the idea that Barack Obama went to him and said, do you think you could maybe talk to your sister? | |
| What? | |
| What kind of fantasy? | |
| She was part of the deal from day one. | |
| She was a part of the deal where she and Barack, Barry, got all that money for doing the right thing. | |
| They did it the right way. | |
| They got their money on the back end. | |
| Watch the jokes. | |
| Watch the jokes. | |
| I know what you're thinking. | |
| But they got the money on the back end. | |
| So what they did was they said, listen, do the right thing. | |
| Do your stuff. | |
| Do your, you know, whatever this nonsense is. | |
| And then, later on, later on, we'll get you this Netflix deal where you can, you know, work on producing some shows. | |
| What the hell do you know about anything? | |
| It doesn't matter. | |
| Play along! | |
| And they were... | |
| They took off. | |
| She was never, ever a part of this. | |
| She hates him. | |
| And there's a lot to that Barry. | |
| Oh, yeah! | |
| I'm gonna let it go. | |
| I'm gonna let it go. | |
| How about that chef? | |
| Remember that cook? | |
| Remember that guy? | |
| Tragic end. | |
| Wasn't that terrible? | |
| What, he died in like two feet of water? | |
| Anyway, I digress. | |
| It's weird. | |
| You know, when you get into these political games, especially when you talk about the Clintons at first, all of a sudden people start just taking off. | |
| Vince Foster and a lot of other people. | |
| I mean, this is weird. | |
| And if you bring it up, you're a conspiracy theorist, even though people are dropping left and right. | |
| Now, if Trump did it, he'd be indicted. | |
| Or at least they tried to indict him. | |
| By the way, did you ever read or hear... | |
| Portions of her book, Being Me. | |
| I think they made like four or five dummy copies. | |
| Sometimes you'd see them like at the airport. | |
| They'd have those bookstores, or if you go to the train station, you know, Hudson News. | |
| And I read a couple lines. | |
| It was awful. | |
| It was almost like this OAC logolalia, this non-committal kind of, I want to re-express myself and recognize you've got to be me. | |
| And they'd probably say, What are you talking about? | |
| It's logolalia. | |
| Logoria. | |
| Nonsensical. | |
| Unimportant. | |
| Gibberish. | |
| Absolute. | |
| Unmitigated. | |
| Gibberish. | |
| Let me see if I can say this. | |
| You know the expression, nobody doesn't like Shirley? | |
| Nobody likes Michelle Obama. | |
| Nobody. | |
| Nobody. | |
| And the idea that now you're trying to Sell us on, what, your importance or how you, what, shelved your own incredible career for Barack? | |
| What is your message? | |
| You were the first lady of the United States. | |
| This country was goddamn good for you. | |
| Good for you and to you. | |
| And this is the way you show it? | |
| By bitching and moaning and, you know, it was terrible after being in the White House. | |
| Excuse me, this is an honor. | |
| An honor. | |
| This is why nobody likes. | |
| This is why it's over for you. | |
| It's over for you because of that stupid Joe Biden and that stupid Kamala Harris and that stupid Democratic Party. | |
| And the best you can do right now that your party can do is blow up Tesla dealerships. | |
| Oh, it is so over. | |
| But please, do me a favor. | |
| Please, keep doing your podcast. | |
| You know why? | |
| Let me explain. | |
| When people induce or sometimes take poisons and eat terrible things, and at emergency rooms, they want to induce vomiting. | |
| And they'll use something called Syrup of Ipecac. | |
| And Syrup of Ipecac is this awful, kind of a castor oily type of thing, which makes you puke and vomit and become... | |
| Emetic, like you can't believe. | |
| And they bring in this thing called an Emerson bass, and it's like a baby's, like a wading pool. | |
| And you drink this, and you just barf your brains out. | |
| In the event they can't find syrup of Ipecac, just put on headphones, so nobody else can hear it, and play five to ten seconds of that guy! | |
| What awful podcast of you and your brother and people will be barfing their brains up like Vesuvius. | |
| We are so through with you and that stupid brother and that stupid podcast and the Hulk take you and the Obamas and just get out of town. | |
| You're lucky you're not indicted. | |
| He's through. | |
| By the way, what he's doing. | |
| What do you think Barry's doing on his time of? | |
| Huh? | |
| Huh? | |
| I got a few ideas, but I can't say them, but I can think them. | |
| Now do me a favor, sports fans. | |