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Sept. 4, 2024 - Lionel Nation
01:06:48
Que Mala's Sheeple Care Nothin' About Facts Truth Data or Reality

Que Mala's Sheeple Care Nothin' About Facts Truth Data or Reality

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Here we go, my friends.
It seems like Monday, but it's Tuesday.
You know how that routine works.
We're recovering, I guess, from the weekend.
I want to tell you a few things right now, and I want your old Uncle Lenny to...
To remind you of a couple of things here, and I want you to listen very carefully.
I'm going to see if I can explain this in a nice way to you.
And I can only tell you what I think, and then see if you think as well.
See if you think this makes sense, and then let me know.
Let me know.
I do not belong in this world.
I don't...
I never have.
I don't belong in this world.
I don't, my friends.
I'm from another planet.
I'm just different.
Always have been.
Not going to apologize.
That's the way I am.
Not going to apologize.
And the way I see politics has always been very, very clinical.
I don't find myself Like most people, getting all bent out of shape and personal about it.
And I'm finding that a lot of people that I frankly have to deal with, I kind of don't deal with them because they really don't understand what's happening.
It's the damnedest thing.
It's like if you took me to a cricket match and I'm getting all upset and you're saying, do you understand how cricket works?
And I say, no, not really.
Not really, don't really understand.
But I'm getting upset because I don't like those people and I don't want them to win.
Well, they're winning.
Well, I don't like the fact that they're winning.
And I don't want them to win.
Okay, well.
And I hate this.
Kay Mahler or other people hate Trump.
And it just breaks down.
There is something going around of...
This is important.
Remember, 63 days away is the election.
So there was a picture.
There was this thing of...
Who was it?
Mark Levin on with President Trump.
I think it was...
And I said, did you see it?
I said, no.
No, of course not.
And no disrespect to Mark Levin.
I think he's a great guy and everything.
But why am I going to watch that?
What difference does it mean?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't make a damn bit of difference.
Nothing.
It doesn't make any difference at all.
The people who like Trump might be watching it, and that's great.
That's groovy.
Nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with that.
I have no interest.
I know what he's going to say.
He says things like, Kamala's a bad person.
He treated Mike Pence terribly.
And then I was going through Twitter, and there's this other woman who, she wants to get all of these, because there are people who want to get the most followers, and she's saying, diss Trump.
He's the one who advocated for Mike Pence to be hanged, kind of conflating the notion of the noose.
That never happened either.
So everybody's lying.
What am I not watching this for?
You can't do this.
You can't waste your time with this.
It doesn't matter.
You're arguing.
It's like you're at the Super Bowl and you're getting bent out of shape.
Because this loud mouth over there is saying something wrong about your team.
That has something to do with the game.
Yeah, but he's wrong and I hate that guy and he's drunk.
Okay, but that has something to do...
This is the team.
Watch the field.
Are they cheating?
Remember years ago, Tom Brady.
Remember Tom Brady had flat balls.
His balls weren't inflated.
Remember that one?
People love the story because they could say balls all they wanted.
They could say balls all the time.
And it was great.
They loved it.
I think Tom Brady's balls are flat.
I don't know.
How flat are your balls?
Well, they're pretty flat.
Can you inflate his ball?
But believe it or not, Despite all the jokes, the real sports fans were saying, well, let's talk about this.
Let's investigate.
Well, how would that change the score?
How would that affect the game?
How would that make things different if this were true?
I mean, they joked about it, but they really wanted to know.
And they had physicists on there talking about air and momentum and angular momentum and one half times mv squared, kinetic energy.
Newtonian physics, it was great.
When it comes to voting, people, let me tell you what the American voter is.
I was just driving the other day.
I mean, you go.
Stretch, of course.
And there was a car next to us, and the window was rolled down, and there was this dog, this little dog, cute dog, which just stuck his head out the window.
They were driving, you know, and that dog was having the time of his life.
Love the wind.
Love the noise.
Love the sound.
Love the cool.
Just...
That's how most people are when it comes to politics.
They have no idea what they're talking about.
They just...
They love...
Something other than the reality.
And you talk about this, and I think I mentioned this to you.
I mentioned to you last night, but I'm going to say it again.
Mrs. L and I were at a, happened to be at a Whole Foods.
This is the second time this happened.
It was a black feller.
Or as came out, I would say, that was a brother!
Brother came up to me and said, hey, they had a hoodie, they had a hoodie, they had a right.
Anyway, I'm doing that.
I'm doing that again.
Where's diamond and silk when you need them?
Can you imagine them, diamond and silk, trying to outsole and out whatever you want to call it?
Anyway, but he came up to me.
Had none of the aforementioned affectation.
And he does one of these.
He's wearing a Whole Foods hat.
He's having a lunch here.
And he's giving me one of these.
And that's normally the signal before you're about to hear an ethnic joke.
So two Alsatians walk into a bar.
That one's got a duck under his arm.
You know, women have never understood what it is like.
Thank you, Dorothy.
Dorothy George, everybody.
A new member.
Young Women don't have this great thing about, I think, growing up with jokes.
Men love jokes.
A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.
The bartender says, what are you doing with that pig?
The woman says, that's not a pig, that's a duck.
He says, I was talking to the duck.
See?
Boom!
When you're a kid, it makes you have to understand, oh.
Figure that one out.
Why is that funny?
And I really believe this.
I really think women would develop so much better if they either had an appreciation for or heard more jokes.
Because a joke, you have to understand there's a twist to it.
You know what I mean?
There's something.
I don't want to break down comedy.
But when it comes to ethnic jokes, oh god.
Because remember, a nothing joke is only funny if it's funny.
It's got to make sense.
If it's just mean or hateful, it's not effective because it's not funny.
Anyway, so this guy comes up to me and he says, are you Lionel?
He goes, oh, okay.
I recognize your voice.
And what's also great, too, is people will swear sometimes.
You know, I saw you on Mark Levin.
What?
No.
No.
Yeah, you are Mark Levin.
I said, Mark Simone?
No, Mark.
Okay.
Whatever.
Whatever.
I had somebody one time say, wait a minute.
No, no, no.
I know you.
I know your voice.
I know.
No, no, no, no.
I know you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't tell me.
I know you.
I hear you all the time.
I said, Lionel?
He says, no.
So...
Anyway, I'm always very nice.
Always very nice.
Always ask people, what's your name?
Always shake hands.
I always want to make sure anybody who thinks enough to engage for whatever it's worth, I want to talk to them.
So we're talking, and he's giving me one of these.
By the way, it's the second time.
Second black happened to be a whole foods worker.
By the way, I will explain this.
Notion about the unpollable Trump supporter in a moment.
But as we're talking, he says, can you believe how crazy this is?
I said, I know.
I know.
This is nuts.
That is it.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
And I'll bet you, and I don't know if enough of the Kemala group Says this as well.
I don't know.
Maybe they just think you're crazy or you're evil or racist or I don't know.
I don't really talk to them that much about this.
But I will tell you, all of my friends say, can you believe this?
And I realize that it still comes down to this.
Most people I know don't know anything about the elections.
They've never been to an election.
They know nothing about this.
They're just reacting to it.
They go, this can't be!
Don't you understand?
They can't let her speak!
She's speaking in accent.
She's lying.
Stop this.
I'm thinking, what are you talking?
I can't believe what she's saying.
And he's talking about IVF.
It wasn't IVF.
It was IUI.
And he's lying.
They're not going to stop it.
They swift-boated Carrie.
What?
Don't you remember?
No, I don't remember.
What are you talking about?
They have no history.
This is like they woke up from a coma.
This is what I'm dealing with all the time.
The realities.
The realities.
The stuff that I think is important doesn't mean a damn thing.
Doesn't mean nothing.
I'm used to that.
I've always been.
Let me show you something.
I'm going to show you something.
You know what this is?
This would be my ad because Tony Schwartz is one of my heroes.
He was the one who did the pedal.
Listen to this ad.
Listen to this.
Very, very simple.
Unit entry.
I'm citywide.
Person with a gun.
6124 South King Drive.
Stop right now.
You know what this is?
Anybody know what this is?
Anybody?
Anybody?
This is one of the...
There's something about the sound of silence.
No, there's something about the sound of police dispatches.
Very cold.
Very...
The calmness belies the horror.
That makes any sense?
Like when you hear...
John Kennedy assassination.
That's the way you talk?
Yes, because they don't want to scream.
Do you know what this is?
Do you know what this is?
This is Chicago.
Chicago!
This is the Venezuelans tearing through Chicago again.
Listen to this.
There we go.
Hey, I'm sorry.
You have to go over to the shots letter or to the 6124 on King for the migrants?
Migrants?
Migrants?
Okay, good.
Alright, 10-4.
There's another available in a derivative of 310.
We had multiple calls.
First of all, 6124 South King.
Also came over to the disturbance large gathering.
Could be 32 minutes long shot passing in the building property, showing guns in the courtyard.
Guns in the courtyard.
We have motorcycles in the courway off the stairwell.
Motorcycles in the hallway.
Stairwell.
Nothing for us.
Filled.
This is, and I would say in my ad, where is this?
Beirut?
No.
Remember the great joke about, you can say, you can mention anybody's name you want.
Hey Jay, no, they asked the, they asked the, Tim Wall is what he thought about Beirut.
He said, well, he was pretty good, but I think Hank Aaron's better.
You know, that's that old joke.
See, another joke from my repository or suppository of jokes.
I'm going to start off.
Where is this?
Is this Beirut?
No.
Is this Gaza?
No.
Is this Janine?
No.
Is this Mexico City?
Is this Juarez?
Is this Medellin?
Colombia?
No.
Where is this?
Chicago.
Home to the Democratic National Convention.
Barack Obama's hometown.
Sweet home Chicago.
Motorcycle Venezuelans.
Tren de Arragua.
They have been in...
Where are the other cities?
Aurora?
Houston?
I mean, they're just all...
And their followers, their leaders in Caracas, whoever, stipends, money, bonuses, you're fantastic.
And meanwhile, meanwhile, as this is happening, as this absolute horror show is happening, guess what Kemala says?
Thank unions for sick leave.
Thank unions for paid family leave.
Thank unions for your vacation time.
Hold it.
Wait, wait.
Did you hear that?
What did you notice different about that?
This, as you can see, was Gamala in Pittsburgh.
By the way, look at the young lady.
To the right.
Look at the screen to, I guess, stage right.
She has like a reddish young lady, brown hair, and the African-American lady to the left, stage left.
Look at them.
Watch.
Bored.
They're there, just filler.
Now, did you notice something?
She speaks.
She spoke without that distinctive Butterfly McQueen Nonsense.
This is Detroit.
Now this troll in the back here, this hominid, stage right, shorter woman, this is Randy Weingarten.
This is one of the most divisive human beings in the history of our species.
"Vacation time!" Because what we know...
Mm-hmm.
I know that's right.
Because if you got vacation time, many times when the homeboy has got about the mama crib.
Because even though they bought a Peterville.
Even though they bought a Peterville.
Mm-hmm.
And that motherfucker crazy.
Now, we're saying to ourselves, this is just horrible.
This is just horrible.
Horrible.
Oh, this woman's so inarticulate and she's lying.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't you understand?
She's...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do they mind this?
No.
No.
But we want...
And you say, but Trump...
Thank you.
Trump is from Queens, Jackson, Estates, or wherever else.
But he's...
Jamaica, Estates, right?
He says...
He doesn't really lie about any...
He really doesn't.
I mean, honest to God.
He kind of says, well, this is it.
This is me.
This is my...
This is it.
He kind of shows you stuff.
And you can say, look at that.
That braggadocious...
Okay, maybe, but he just shows you something.
Now, does that matter to us?
No.
Does it matter to the lefties?
No.
So why are we talking about it?
Because we just love to point out stuff and mock people.
Now, I'm going to tell you something, and you're not going to want to hear this.
I'm going to tell you this because you...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
There she is.
From America's heartland, America's sweetheart, Lori Partridge, who one time listed her favorite hobbies as watching Russian dashboard plane crashes.
And why you would have a plane crash on a dashboard, I have no idea.
But she says, I have one, Joe.
A duck goes to the store and says, do you have any duck food?
You know the rest because I got it from you.
Oh, yes.
One of the greatest ones.
One of the greatest ones.
Yes.
Old joke.
Old joke.
And in fact, that has worked for some reason.
Guy's in a hardware store.
Little duck walks in and says, excuse me, do you have any duck food?
He says, what?
Do you have any duck food?
He says, no.
Okay, thank you.
And he leaves.
I said, that's the weirdest.
Anyway, next day, comes back in.
Little duck, he says, excuse me, sir.
Do you have any duck food?
He says, no.
You're the same.
No, I told you yes, sir.
I don't have any duck food.
Okay, thank you.
And he leaves.
Third day, he comes back.
He says, excuse me, do you have any duck food?
He says, now look, I don't know who you are.
I don't know what to...
This is a hard word.
Look, I don't know what's going on here.
We don't have any duck food.
And if you come back one more time, I swear to God, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground.
Now get the hell out of here.
Okay, thank you.
Next day, the duck comes back.
He says, do you have any nails?
He says, no.
Got any duck food?
Okay.
Why is that funny?
I don't know why it's funny.
It just is.
It's this thing.
I mean, it's not a knee slapper.
It just is.
But you've got to understand the irony.
You've got to understand the way...
That's why when kids understand jokes, it's really...
Because you've got to understand, oh, if he doesn't have the thing to nail down my webbed feet like he told me he would, if I asked him for the...
So let's make sure he doesn't have any nail.
Because I'm going to ask him again.
Now, why you're asking for this, I have no idea.
But the point is you've got to be able to calculate all this stuff.
In the story, jokes are exceedingly good.
Are exceedingly good.
We used to have these things called, I'm sorry, Polak jokes.
And then there were Newfie jokes in some sense.
There were dumb blonde jokes.
And I remember one time, it took this incredible sense of understanding the stupidity.
Two guys are fishing, and they're just catching more fish than you can imagine.
And one of them says, again, pick the ethnicity.
Doesn't really matter, because that's not why the joke is important.
So one guy says, you know what, this is great.
We've got to somehow mark this spot, because the fish are going crazy.
He goes, I know.
He says, what are you doing?
So he takes out some paint, and he puts an X on the side of the boat.
He says, what are you doing?
He says, I'm making a mark.
So we know where the fish goes.
He goes, you idiot.
What if we don't get the same boat next time?
Okay.
Listen to Mitch Hedberg jokes.
They are out of left field.
I was listening to somebody the other day who's nothing but just angry and F-bombs.
Nothing made me laugh.
Sarah Silverman.
I can't listen.
Politics?
It's like food.
It's like a movie.
It's like a scent.
It's like a song.
I can't tell you what you like.
I can't tell you.
I can't tell you.
You're wrong to like the Moody Blues.
You're wrong to...
No.
That's why I want you to understand there are people who like the idea of this.
Who like the idea...
By the way, I wish I could tell you this one joke, but I can't.
But it's filled with F-bombs, but it's part of the rhythm.
And to remember it is the hardest of them all.
You really have to know your sequencing.
And there's nothing worse when you're telling a joke than somebody who just ruins it.
I had a friend of mine whose wife, she wasn't stupid, but she was dyslexic with jokes.
One time I said, so Scott's been a Japanese guy and an Italian walking to a bar.
She says, really?
I said, no, it's a joke.
Oh, I mean, it's just, I don't...
One of my earliest jokes ever, I thought, was my mother was great.
Great, great, great delivery.
And I knew, she just told me these, oh my gosh.
I can't tell you some of them.
Censorship.
But this one killed me.
And my grandmother did.
My mother's mother loved this one, too.
She said...
A woman goes out in an outhouse.
See, outhouse has always fascinated me.
Anyway, she threw out turpentine.
She threw turpentine out into the outhouse.
I have no idea why, anyway.
This guy goes in after his meal.
He does his business.
But he's in the newspaper, and he has a cigarette, and when he's done, he throws a cigarette in there, and kaboom.
He comes back, completely charred, you know, that typical cartoon, you know, where your hair is stuck on, you're covered in your smoke, and your blackface, and he says, must have been something I ate.
Same grandmother, true story, Tampa Airport, whenever she would come in, my mother would say, would you?
Would you meet her at the airport?
Would you come?
She's so happy.
And I really liked her.
I really, really liked her.
I said, okay.
One time I had her on my radio show, and they loved her.
I said, this is the worst thing ever.
People loved her.
How are you?
And I said, now listen, Grandma, I want to tell you something here.
I know this sounds crazy, but my name is Lionel.
Okay?
Don't call me Michael.
That's my...
You think I'm stupid, don't you?
I said, no, I don't think you're stupid.
No, I don't.
You think...
No, you don't.
What?
Your name's...
Can't you see?
Don't you think I know your name?
I know what your name is.
I know how staged...
Okay, okay.
I just want to let you know because sometimes people forget and, you know, and I make people feel very, very calm.
Okay, okay.
Open the mic up.
They have my grandma.
Hello, Michael.
Right off the...
I mean, just didn't even wait a second.
So anyway, so my mother said, listen, she really loves it when you go to the airport.
Oh no, she likes...
She said, quote, she likes when you make a fuss over her.
Those are her words, a fuss.
Okay.
Do you remember those big felt cowboy hats?
I don't know where you...
Like the Dallas Cowboys would wear them, or you wear this big felt.
They're huge!
As we see in Hell's Kitchen, huge!
These big, big, big felt cowboy hats, they're enormous!
You see them?
Okay.
So, I brought it one day.
Came into the airport.
So I stood there, and I'm around the pole.
Anyway, so she walks out, and I said, let's all kind of hide at first.
This is when you could meet people at the airport.
Now you can, but you would have to wait.
I said, let's kind of like, so she doesn't see me.
So I jumped out, and she was like right in the middle.
So she was walking through.
I jumped out, wearing this hat.
I don't know what I had on up there.
Something equally as bucolic or agrarian.
And I said, hello, girl.
I'll tell you what.
I'm slicker and snodding the door and I'm like a three-packed goat.
And I'm going, I'll tell you what.
God damn it.
Look at you, baby.
Turn around.
Give me some sugar.
I'm going to be loud today.
Today, with what goes on at the airports, I would have been arrested.
I would have been called a Karen or a Kevin.
And she was just like...
I mean, her fate, I thought, I've gone in too far.
Maybe she's going to have a heart attack or something.
She's not used to this.
I said, who cares?
I've devoted.
I'm invested.
I'm going to go all the way.
Come on, girl!
Did you do a strip search?
I know how you like them strip searches.
Come on, Grandma!
Let's get drunk!
And people were just, oh, isn't that wonderful?
She was just...
This is before cameras, before cell phones, for any of that stuff.
It made...
Her day.
Okay.
Good story, right?
Jump to the next time.
My mother says, well, you know, Grandma's coming in.
Oh, yeah.
Are you going to meet her at the airport?
I said, I have to top that?
Well, you can't do the same act you did last time.
Okay.
So I think I got some friends, you know, playing the guitar.
Did something like that.
The point is...
I love to figure out why things are funny.
And you know why that was funny?
It was because, believe it or not, if kids ask your parents, do you remember when airports were solemn?
It was almost like going to court, to church.
You dressed up.
You wore a suit.
Or your best clothes were going to the airport.
They're going to feed us.
What'd you have?
People going crazy.
Screaming?
Never!
People drunk?
Never!
Never!
Turning the plane around?
It's a different world now.
So when we're looking for all this stuff right now, let me go back to the story about Gamala.
When you look at this, it's a different world.
And people, they don't get the humor of this.
They don't really understand it.
And what I want you to do is to understand the humor, calm down, relax, and I don't know how to break this to you, but...
Notice how I bring it right back.
Okay?
That's the talent I have.
I mean, Trump with Levin doesn't mean a bit of difference.
Nothing.
Doesn't mean anything.
Why?
People who watch him are going to vote for him anyway.
I mean, it's good.
It's alright.
I guarantee you...
If Trump listened to me, which he doesn't, I would say go back to Mar-a-Lago.
Do me a favor.
Hey, maybe Barron knows something about this or Eric or who knows.
Can you give me a camera?
Can we go live with this?
Can you go live?
Not live.
Can I do a one minute thing?
I would sit there every day and say, this is Chicago, Illinois.
This is the second city.
Most beautiful town.
This is where the Democrats had their convention.
This is their convention.
This is the home, allegedly home, of Barack Obama.
This is the home of blues, Chicago blues, Buddy Guy, the group Chicago.
It's the most wonderful thing in the world.
State Street, da-da-da-da.
And here we have this.
I never thought I would hear this in the course of my lifetime.
But this...
32 Venezuelans are trespassing.
Did you hear this?
6124 South King Drive, Caller says 32 Venezuelans are trespassing the building.
And they know, they know they're Venezuelans.
And this is what Trump has to do.
And he has to just look at you and say, To the people of Chicago, is it too much not to ask or to ask Gamala to maybe talk about this?
Maybe in a, maybe, you know that Chicago, I can't do the accent, but there's this accent they have.
The bears, you know, that kind of thing.
Do you think maybe it's possible?
We are being besieged.
A lot of times folks will say, well, what's this?
What's this thing?
These are illegal aliens.
That's not to say everybody who's an illegal alien is a criminal.
But why is this happening?
Did you ever think you'd live in a...
He's missing the point.
This is what he needs to talk about.
Major Michael says, a chicken and egg are lying in bed together smoking cigarettes.
The chicken leans over to the egg and says, now we know the answer to that question.
That's very good.
Because that harkens back.
That is a reference.
I like that one.
So, that's that.
So what are you going to do?
How many of you, dear friends, are still upset about polls?
Are you still worried about polls?
Are you still trying to figure this one out?
Because here's what I'm saying.
If this is a fair election, Trump wins.
Marcus Ferguson, ladies and gentlemen.
Marcus Ferguson.
Marcus Ferguson is also...
Doesn't he look like...
Oh, what is his name?
I cannot remember names.
I think this is the beginning of the onset of something.
The guy by the Gladiator.
The Australian guy.
I'm a Gladiator.
A beautiful mind.
You know who I'm talking to.
The Australian guy.
See, whatever.
I had to put on the weight.
Not that you did, Marcus.
Not that you.
I'm just saying.
You reminded me of it.
Russell Crowe.
Thank you so much.
How about Russell Crowe?
And the other one, too, is who is Russell Brand?
Oh, Russell Brand.
He's found Jesus.
He's found God.
He's not ringing.
That's great.
That's great.
Tucker Carlson, oh, I don't drink.
I found Jesus.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, I'm a Catholic.
Oh, that's great.
Gee, you stopped drinking, huh?
Imagine that!
Wow!
That's never been done before.
And you've converted?
You've accepted your Christianity.
Okay.
Hmm.
I guess that's supposed to mean something.
I mean, it's nice, but it doesn't matter.
Now, like I said to you before, and I'll say this again, if this is even, Trump wins.
I really believe this.
The numbers are there.
But if this is not on the level, and if the Republicans have not ensured that the vote, that the write-in, that the absentee, that the mail-in...
That all of these have not been secured.
It's over.
It's over.
I'm telling you.
Now, who wants me on their show?
Nobody.
Keep making that.
And Fox News, sure as hell, wouldn't do that.
Hey, folks.
Hey, great.
Excuse me.
President Trump.
Hi.
Sorry to bother you.
Mark Levin.
Yeah.
This is Caca del Toro.
You can talk all day long about it.
You know, she was very mean to Mike Pence.
She sure was.
You know, Mike Pence was a little bit of a dick himself to you, sir.
Yes.
Okay, this is great.
Why are we doing this?
I found Jesus.
He was behind this sofa the whole time.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sean Martin.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sean Martin.
We always found Jesus.
We had a judge, Harry Lee Coe, who said, you know where Jesus is?
At the Hillsborough County Jail.
Everybody finds Jesus there.
Everybody finds Jesus.
Yes.
Yes.
I love what Mark Levin is saying, but it should be called No Ship TV.
Nothing ever makes you say, I did not know.
You'll never hear him say, I did not know.
I had no earthly idea that this was the case.
I had no...
Do you mean that she might have been rude?
I told you, Mrs. Allen and I had, we were driving back, and Labor Day, we're listening to Dr. Stephen Hicks, and he has his book.
On Nietzsche and the Nazis.
It is the most fascinating.
Fascinating.
It was one thing after another.
I didn't know that.
That's all I kept saying.
I didn't know that.
It was the most fascinating thing in the world.
Now, people do not want to talk about that because, well, because, you know.
But the subject matter is so interesting because, as you know, Americans are like that dog sticking their head out the window.
They just want a lot of noise and a lot of anger.
They don't want anyone to understand this.
So let me go through this.
Number one, if we have not secured the ballots, if you cannot tell me that this ballot, this one here, That is going to be checked in at the Secretary of State's office in Harrisburg or Philly,
and that Christian Janusz or Janusz at 123 Main Street in Philly, that this is a legit voter.
This is a legit address.
And there's not 500 people living at the same direction, and it's a home, it's a dwelling, there's a bed, it's not a Best Buy.
If you can guarantee that, and you have taken the name of Christian Janus, who, by the way, says initially many people thought Instagram was a speedy drug delivery service.
Well, it might be.
Christian, by the way, is one of these people who gives Christmas gifts away in denominations that nobody understands.
Last night I got Somebody gave me 500,000 Indonesian rupiah something on there.
It was like $30.
I appreciate it.
But I've never seen anything like that.
You got 500,000.
Wow!
So the denominations are interesting.
Anyway, can we guarantee that?
No.
Excuse me.
Mark Levin, do you know about this?
President Trump?
Have you talked to Lara?
Your daughter-in-law, I know she's busy running marathons and showing everybody how attractive she is, but have you, because this is great, and I know that Kamala has been mean to Mike Pence, but do you have any idea what's going on here?
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
Nobody will talk about it.
They talk about it kind of in passing, but that's about it.
This is the most incredible thing in the world.
And last time I tried to say this, and I will say it again to you.
When it comes to polls, The polls are the most fascinating thing in the world.
It's the most fascinating thing.
Right now, you've got two big polling.
Two big polling groups.
Two big ones.
You've got real clear politics.
I don't know.
It could be two points, three points.
It's hard to say.
You've got the real clear politics, the polling average.
Then you've got 538, like three and a half points maybe.
It changes.
And people say, ah!
Hey, Mark Levin, yeah.
Anybody ever think about, I don't know, doing a show on poles?
What?
Well, we're talking about them all the time.
Wouldn't you like to do a show on poles?
This is beyond smoke and mirrors.
This is razzle-dazzle.
This is razzmatazz.
This is like, there is a mirror, there is a magnifying glass, and then there is the carnival mirror.
I mean, for example, give me an example.
Since Kamala became the DSE nominee, Kennedy's polling numbers declined from like 10% to like 4%.
So the polls have tightened up, but have you been looking at Bobby Kennedy's effectiveness as well?
So the question you ask, can Kamala win?
Of course she can win.
Can Trump win?
Of course she can win.
Of course.
And you and I can sit there and I love when people say, you don't understand.
She killed because she's done a terrible job.
She was a terrible border czar.
She couldn't even say what she did for the border czar.
She said she wanted to, nobody cares about that.
And Trump was in a wonderful job of crime with inflation.
Yeah, you're right about that.
You're right about that.
And her father was a Marxist economics professor.
And she said she was born in Berkeley.
But she was born in Oakland.
Well, she said she was born in Oakland.
But she was raised in Berkeley.
Actually, she was raised in Canada.
What does that matter?
Does that matter?
No!
It's interesting.
You know it.
You're not going to vote for it.
So what is it?
What is it?
Well, a couple of things which are really important.
And the polls have not taken into account.
Have they taken into account the polls after Elon and Tulsi and Bobby Kennedy Jr. endorsed Trump?
I don't know.
They don't tell you.
They just give you this rolling average.
Do you know the effect that corporate tax rate being raised and unrealized capital gains, what that does to Silicon Valley?
And Wall Street hedge funders and the big shots?
No.
Is that reflected in the poll?
No.
Because they're part of this average thing.
Would it be important to know that?
It sure would.
And there's also this thing called the unpolable mass.
This unrecorded mass.
The people who are the secret closeted Trump fans.
And I was mentioning before this black gentleman, and you know him as well.
People who say, you know...
I will never mention this person's name, but I was talking to a person I know somewhat who is a pretty significant musician type.
And I wouldn't dare repeat this, but this person said, you know, I'm a Trump supporter.
And I don't know why.
Maybe because they're older.
Maybe because they're in the business.
I don't know.
I don't know why.
But I do believe that the Trump supporter is actual, tenable, actual, real.
A lot of times the Gamala supporter is somebody who's more of a Democrat.
Or somebody who hates Trump.
Remember this?
Remember this.
The RCP average has Gamala up about, again, a couple of points.
There are two problems.
One, this kills me.
Five, and I read this, five out of the 11 polls were only serving likely voters.
Five out of 11, so less than that.
Okay?
Likely voters.
Polls of likely voters.
Obviously more accurate than polls of registered voters.
If I went to somebody and I say, excuse me, hi, and I always tell this, let's go to the Short Hills Mall.
Why?
We're going to do a poll.
We just got a million dollars from the whatever it is.
Okay, good.
We'll go to the Short Hills Mall.
The Short Hills Mall, yeah?
Okay.
That's terrific.
Edie Crowley said, by the way, Do black folks really buy Kamala Harris, the polyglot?
I don't believe so.
Oh, here we go.
Look at this.
This is Marcus again.
Look at this.
100,000 IDRs.
Oh, my God.
100,000.
An IDR is an Indonesian rupiah, rupiah, rupiah.
Wow.
One rupiah.
It's equivalent to $0.000064.
I don't care.
I thank you.
How about, this is from Jakarta.
So anyway, going back to this, these are the questions.
Mark Levin, can we talk about polls?
Can we once and for all just address polls?
Because we keep being polled to death.
Can we talk about the polls?
So like I said, if you and I were hired by some lefty organization, we're going to say, listen, let's make sure that she looks good.
I'm going to take you to Short Hills Mall.
I just, I don't know why I picked that.
In Short Hills, New Jersey.
And I'm going to say, see those young people standing there?
Go over there.
Now, in this poll, do they write the poll down?
Listen to what I'm saying.
Or are you asking them?
Hi, how are you kids?
Hi, excuse me, I hate to bother you.
Are you all over the age of 18?
Yes, very good.
Are you, uh...
Are you registered to vote?
No.
Are you able to vote?
Yeah.
Good enough.
Okay.
Now, between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump, whom do you prefer?
Oh, come on.
Okay.
Young people.
You think anybody in front of their friends is going to say, oh, I'm a Trump supporter?
I mean, maybe you do, but...
Does that count in the poll?
Is that part of the sample?
I don't know.
I mean, you can't ask people to say it in public.
You give them a paper so they can...
No.
But what are you talking about?
Are these adults?
Are these women?
Where did you go?
Did you go to metropolitan areas?
Are these college educated versus non-college?
There's a difference, not in terms of voting, but in terms of their reluctance to speak openly.
This is the most incredible thing.
538, by the way, polls, people love to talk about that one, is Nate Silver, I think, right?
I think so.
Anyway, up like three and a half polls.
They use organizations in polling groups like Big Village, Kaplan Strategies, Angus Reid Global.
Who are these?
I don't understand this.
If you, and this is important too, there's these people though that still may have Bobby Kennedy as a separate candidate.
And one poll, I think it was, they said The Economist or YouGov or Commission, without Bobby Kennedy has Paris up, Harris rather, up by two points.
Not 12, not 10. This is like, wait a minute.
If you have polls that have more Democrats, more women, more minorities, More sampling in metropolitan areas.
You know what it is.
Get in your car.
Drive out to the woods.
Not the woods.
The country.
And you see Trump signs all over the place.
Proudly!
You don't see that in the city.
Or cities.
This is important too.
There was a story in Red State.
It was claiming that this New York Times and Siena Paul had alleged it was biased.
They said, supposedly, that the poll showed factors for Kamala leading in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania.
And they said, we're not sure about this, but it doesn't matter, because it's the poll that goes up.
And this is the most important thing in the world.
In fact, John McLaughlin, who was the prince of this, says a lot of these left of center, lefty, Ideological groups.
I mean, some...
What they're doing, I guess what I'm trying to tell you, is that they're polling fewer Republicans.
There was one call...
Listen to this poll I read about.
The Michigan Bloomberg...
Morning consult five-way poll from July 28th.
It showed Kemal with a 12-point lead.
That's fantasy.
And the next closest one was the New York Times poll that showed her with a five-point lead.
So if you remove those extremes, just remove those two polls, the lead goes from 2.3 points to 0.4.
Now you know also, let me ask you this, you do also realize that there are more Democrats than Republicans.
There are more Democrats in the country than Republicans by 3-4%.
Why?
California, New York.
New York.
And I'm not going to go.
Look, I don't want to go through this.
We can spend a lot of time and I don't know if people are necessarily liking this.
Marcus says, be still my beating heart.
Any crumb cake left?
Oh, yes, indeed.
Indeed.
There's Kevin.
Thank you, Kev.
So let me see if I can recap this.
You can tell your friends this.
Okay?
Let me see if I can explain this to you.
I don't listen to polls.
The last poll showed Hillary Clinton up by six.
Oh, yeah.
The real clear politics average had Hillary in August of 2016, she was up by 6 and showed Biden up by 7 in August of 2020.
So these polls are like blood pressure.
They're like a lot of stuff.
So what I'm trying, I guess, for other people to do is to calm down with this.
Relax.
And we can talk about things.
Some people just want to talk about things where she said this accent, he said this.
She made this claim.
Walls is a liar.
You've got his National Guard group.
They don't remember anything.
They don't, you know, he's lying.
Okay, does it matter?
No, not really.
Not really.
Is it important?
I guess it is.
But that's if you want to just talk about how great we are, how smart we are, and how we hate these people.
Let me say something which is the most important, and people do not want to even suggest this.
If you did not know who Donald Trump was, or Kamala Harris, if you didn't know, if you didn't know them, and they both were Greeters at a Toyota service department.
You might be surprised that Kemala, through all of her bluster, is far more likable and approachable to people when she's turning on this thing.
I don't know what she's like in real life.
But when she does that laughing, there are people who they melt.
She melts their heart.
Now, I don't care whether you agree with that.
I don't care whether you find that plausible.
It doesn't matter to me.
There are people who actually believe her to be likable, approachable, honest, real, somebody you like.
She's a nice, she's bringing joy.
She's bringing joy!
And again, we can laugh at this, but that doesn't matter.
I'm getting real bored with the usual stuff that's coming up right now.
And I'm sorry to say this to you, but with 63 days to go, the coverage is getting insipid.
Wait until the debate.
That is critical.
That is a week.
September the 10th.
September the 16th is Trump's...
Or the 18th rather, I'm not sure, is the sentencing.
So that's going to be coming up as well.
And that's a whole other story.
If they dare to put him in jail, you will hand him, you will hand him the presidency.
You will just hand it to him and say, here it is.
Take it.
Take it right now.
That's it.
And Mershon knows and they know that and all that other kind of stuff.
Now, I'm going to talk about a subject, which again, nobody knows, nobody will talk about, and that's where And I recognize I will look at this.
I was listening to I Love Lefties Losing It.
Lefties Losing It.
And it's very good.
Very funny.
Very funny.
It's just really good.
Sky News and very, very funny.
But when it came to the issue of Protests regarding Israel and Palestine and Gaza, they will always look to the folks who are pro-Palestinian as anti-Israel.
That's the way they see it.
That's it.
It's not that the Palestinians have no, there's nothing, no point they're making.
None!
They don't understand it.
They're evil.
Iranians are evil.
Hezbollah's evil.
They're all evil.
All these people are crazy.
Hamas is evil.
You just say it.
Evil.
You go to, if you were to go to Gaza, listen, and you say, well, what do you think Hamas is?
Well, did you think the French resistance was evil when they fought against?
You're not trying to compare.
The French resistance to Hamas, and they will tell you, yes, we are!
Oh, that's nuts!
See?
It's just one of those things.
There is no gray.
So, when I hear that, what do I think?
I am the strategist.
I am, in my ideal mind, I am the Trump strategist.
Well, Mr. President, what are you going to do about it?
How do you use this?
Does anybody know this?
Is anybody talking about this?
I don't think Mark Levin is going to be providing a very cold-blooded, diabolical look at this, but I'll tell you the way I would do it.
Number one, I'm an American.
I wish that part of the world well, but I'm not losing sleep over this.
I'm an American.
I've got Venezuelans.
Swarming Chicago.
I'll worry about Gaza later.
I'm sorry.
It's not that it's unimportant.
That's just not on my priority list.
However, I will use it this way.
There's a group of people called the Democrats.
The Democrats are ready to break apart.
And they have been saying this, and I've been saying this, and we have been saying this for years.
They are not the stronghold.
Republicans, say what you want, are pretty much unified.
Republicans are 100% for Trump.
There's nobody else.
The Republicans can either love Trump or hate the left, and they show up.
They wait two days in line to go to a rally, and they will vote.
They will do write-ins, they will do personal appearances, whatever you want.
They are steadfast.
They are unified.
There's no fractured.
There's not, well, we've got this version of this.
No, no, no.
You've got the Nancy Pelosi Democrats.
You've got the AOC Democrats.
You've got the Bernie Sanders, the Bernie bros.
And you've got this group of people absolutely fractured regarding what's happening in Israel and Palestine and Gaza.
And when people...
Even including my great friends on these wonderful shows, refer to those folks as anti-Israel.
The number of people who are protesting who are Jewish would astound you.
Is Katie Halper anti-Israel?
Or is it anti-Zionism?
These are Jews!
What do they say?
Amy Goodman?
What do you call them?
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I don't care what you call them.
You know what I want to call them?
Uncommitted.
Uncommitted.
Do you understand this?
That's what I want.
There's two people I want here.
People who vote for Trump or people who won't vote at all.
I'd rather neutralize their vote if they're not going to vote for Trump.
Do I make myself clear?
Do I make myself clear?
So the very first question, and you might say, the very first question, out of the mouth, during this debate on September the 10th, no matter what the question they give to Trump, is to turn to Kemala and ask her very simply this.
Do you believe that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza?
Yes.
Or no.
And if they say, Mr. President, let her speak.
You've been carrying her water the whole time.
If you want to be president, you've got to be able to answer questions all the time that other people determine.
Not the moderator.
Not one of these shills.
Now answer the question.
Yes or no.
And don't laugh.
Don't break into accents.
Don't talk about cleaning the collards and the bathtub and all that other nonsense.
Answer the question.
Yes or no?
And right now, at that moment, the Michigan folks go, no, no, no, let her speak.
Huge factions, numerous factions of Democrats are going to say, you know, we haven't been hearing about that.
Ah!
Well, Kamala, answer the question.
What do you think?
It's critical.
Either way, she loses.
Trump says, I've been completely consistent since day one regarding my position on Israel.
I'm not going to change now.
You know him, that's it.
Okay.
Because people appreciate and respect consistency.
She's talking about everything else.
And they give you 40 hours a week, baby!
No, no, stop that.
Butterfly McQueen, stop that.
Answer the question.
That's number one.
Number two.
What do you think about a man who walks into a boxing ring, beats the hell out of a woman, and we give him a gold medal?
Do you believe there's a difference between men and women?
Well, apparently your boy AWOLS, Tampon Timmy doesn't, he thinks boys menstruate.
And I'm sorry, if you menstruate, you ain't a boy.
You may look like one, you may change your name, but some tells me...
This is a guy also who mandated...
Forced or mandated surgical sterilization and genital mutilation of kids who don't even know their favorite color.
Force their hand.
And you want this.
That's what you want.
And I'm going to leave the president with this thing.
Mr. President, listen to me and listen good.
The only thing I want you to do, your only goal on September the 10th, if this debate goes through, is I want everybody in the world to say, did you see that debate last night?
Did you see that?
And then we let all the YouTubers and the TikTokers and the libs of TikTok and the Dom Lukers and the Colin, everybody go crazy by taking her hamana, hamana, hamana.
Because we knew what happened.
June 27th, that debate killed the presidency.
The chance of Joe Biden.
Even though we knew he was blanking the whole time.
You got that?
Now, everything else you talk about.
God bless Mark Levin and everyone else.
Talk all you want.
That, absentees, and getting to how do you destroy the Democratic Party.
I want to talk about tactics and strategy.
Not And did you hear about this?
And the daughter-in-law's got tattoos.
Okay, that's great.
I don't care about that.
MyPillow.com.
I want everybody right now to go to MyPillow.com, promo code Lionel.
MyPillow.com slash Lionel.
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And I want you to give me your credit card.
I don't care where you're from.
Even if you have rupees or Filipino cougar hands.
And I want you to buy everything they have using promo code Lionel.
That's simple.
Do what I say.
Not as I do.
Do what I say.
Just listen to me and listen carefully.
It's that simple.
Next, if you have any doubt that there is some awful, horrid disaster coming, you're not paying attention.
Right now, my Patriot Supply has a three-month emergency food kit deal, the mega deal, where you can save 300 bucks.
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It's not like you open up the bucket and, oh, there we go!
We got to eat it!
No, no, no, no, no.
It doesn't work like that.
And also, I can't say this enough to you.
On the 26th of October, I will be at the cutting room.
Mrs. L will be there as well.
And it's going to be the night of nights.
It's going to be like nothing you've ever seen before.
Ten days before the election?
And speaking of which, I want you to go to Lynn's Warriors and sign up immediately for her YouTube and for her X or Twitter account.
Lynn's Warriors.
L-Y-N-N-S.
Not L-Y-N-N-E.
I don't know why people do that sometimes.
They just add E's on.
That's like Lionel.
I don't know why they do that either.
Naomi.
Naomi.
Missouri.
I don't get that one either.
That's another one of those.
Cincinnati.
Miami.
I used to say Miami years ago.
Don't ask me why.
Houston, Houston.
Let's call the whole thing off.
All right, dear friends.
Have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Look at this.
Isn't this funny?
Isn't this funny?
Katie wants to be funny.
How about a big hand for Katie?
By Velveeta, it has a long shelf life.
Is that funny?
I think so.
Absolutely.
In the annals of comedic gold medals, that is it.
Absolutely just the funny.
Of course, Johnny Ballgame, referring to the Jackson 5. ABC, as easy as 1, 2, 3. See what I'm talking about?
See what I'm talking about?
This is what you miss.
And Tom, of course, how many glows in saying, where's Hunter?
Love it.
You see?
That's why you live.
We'll see you tonight at 7 p.m.
Don't ever change and mean that sincerely.
Have a great and glorious day.
Don't forget to make sure you are subscribed to Lionel Nation.
More stuff being dropped along the way.
And until then, my friends, remember, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue you.
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