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Aug. 7, 2023 - Lionel Nation
14:59
My Review of Barbie: The Smartest Dumbest Brilliant Stupid and Meaningless Movie You Should See
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I know you've been waiting for me to give you my appraisal, my review of the Barbie movie.
Well, today's your lucky day.
This is it.
And what I want to do is a couple of things.
First, Before you see this, and I want you to see this, and I think little girls will love it because they won't understand what it means.
I'm not sure most adults know what it means.
I'm not even sure the people who made the movie understand what it means.
I don't even think if it's worthy or susceptible of meaning anything.
It is the smartest, stupidest, best, dumb, worst movie ever.
And it's fascinating, but not for the reasons that you think.
And people have overthought this to death.
People are looking at this.
It's like the story where people sometimes listen too much to rock lyrics years ago.
I think it was Eight Miles High.
I think it was Eight Miles High.
Somebody thought it was about drug use or something.
It was about a plane.
It was about a guy in a plane.
Eight miles had nothing to do with this.
Or, better yet, people...
Who don't understand.
Who think they're listening to something that's beautiful.
Like every breath you take.
You know that story?
It's about stalking.
I read somebody told me one time that this was one of the most favorite songs at receptions.
Oh my god.
What are you talking about?
Anyway.
It goes to show you.
Overkill, underkill, depending upon how you look at it.
Listen carefully.
I'm going to give you my Appraisal limit.
But first, let me ask you, of course, to like this video, subscribe to the channel.
Just trust me, like it, you're going to like the video.
I'm often wondering, how do you ask me to like it?
I don't even know who you are.
Anyway, just do me a favor.
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Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, Okay, today my wife and I went and we saw Barbie.
And a couple of things I'm going to tell you.
First, I want to do everything I can to bring the movie industry back.
I want people...
To go to theaters.
There's something about going to a theater.
I don't want to sound like one of these old people who say, you know, I like the smell of a book.
I'm not saying that.
But there is something to be said for listening to or listening to a movie also, but also seeing a movie and being there in the actual theater itself.
It's just like now.
And a lot of the youngsters.
Have missed this.
But there's something that's incredibly great about listening to music on a great sound system.
Used to call them hi-fis years ago.
They were great.
They were incredible.
But because we're listening to AirPods, you miss that.
So I'm not saying this just because I'm just waxing needlessly nostalgic.
I'm telling you there's something to be said for that.
And there's something to be said for going to a film.
And Margot Robbie is a great actress.
She's really good.
She's good.
Kate McKinnon?
Boring.
She's the same.
She's terrific at imitating, but you realize there's no depth.
She's not an actress.
There's no nothing.
Kristen Wiig?
Another one, too.
Very good mimic.
Lousy actress.
Will Ferrell?
He's Will Ferrell.
No matter what you do, you get Will Ferrell no matter what.
The actress, America Vespucci, or whatever, she's very good, who plays the mother.
Very good.
That's it.
We're not talking Academy Award.
At least, I don't know what the Academy Award even means today.
But here is the story, and this is why it's good.
You ready for this?
Listen.
It still celebrates girls!
If you're listening to me right now...
And you are roughly in my generation or a little younger.
Barbies meant something to you.
We can go into the history of Barbie and how, or whether Barbary, Barbary.
Barbary is a law of bar exam preparation course.
Barbie may actually...
Reinforce stereotypes that are actually deleterious to young girls.
You know, weird shapes.
Okay, you want to play that?
You want to play that?
We had G.I. Joes.
I don't even know why.
We did in the footlocker, the big G.I. Joe.
Not the little one, the big one.
What does it mean?
I don't know.
Did it celebrate war?
I guess.
It's a doll.
Lighten up.
But little girls liked it because they liked it.
Did it reinforce stereotypes?
Well, if you look around today, not enough.
Because if there's anybody who adheres to these stereotypes, that adherence never makes it actually to their body.
We are awash in obesity and destruction of dermal real estate with hideous tattoos.
There wasn't a tattoo in the movie!
At least I don't think.
That's a personal thing to me.
I think tattoos are the most stupid thing.
They're hideous.
And they're unnecessary.
And it just goes to show you how people are mindless dolts?
Fools?
What do you want to call these people?
Who go out and discard themselves so they're cool?
But that's for another topic.
It's a celebration of girls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They talk about patriarchy.
Do you think half of the crowd in that movie theater is going to understand what patriarchy means?
And by the way, there's a lot to be said for that.
You know, when listening to it, it sounds almost like something Mary should have been explaining to Lou Grant.
You know what I mean?
To Mr. Grant.
It was 70s-ish.
It really was.
It was a good message.
About women can do this.
Women can be president.
Women can be...
Well, maybe not president yet.
Well, with all that Russian collusion, Hillary, but it was a good message.
I'm sorry.
It was about a mother and a daughter that come together.
The kid's a complete turd, you know, the usual, that snotty.
But there's good.
And there's a message.
It's kind of sci-fi-ish, ripping the fabric into portal and going back to a different dimension.
I like that stuff.
It's 2001.
It's Kubrick.
It really is.
If you think about it, I mean, it's innocent, the subject matter.
But it teaches kids about time and distortion and reality.
And Barbie becomes...
She's in the world.
Little things.
You know how Barbie never drinks.
She just has empty cups and all of a sudden she feels the water.
And it's a really great story about how this kid who had her...
Who had the Barbie doll is going through some problems and the angst, the contretout, I like that, the pathos, the agonistes that this child is going through actually converts and violates the blood-brain barrier of this other dimension of Barbie land.
It's pretty, I mean, it's deeper than you think.
I don't think a kid's going to get this.
But the best part is it's a celebration of little girls and girls being girls.
And grown-ups.
Who want to wear pink and go out for a girls' night out?
What's wrong with that?
We have men walking along with their schwads hanging out in locker rooms of women's...
This women in...
My God.
These are women.
Actual women.
And there was, I believe, a trans actor, I think.
You don't really know.
And the reason why is because sometimes they don't say, da-da-da-da, trans actor.
You say, you know, that voice.
See, that's the hard part of being a trans actor, because you don't know.
You don't know.
Have you noticed how every...
TV show has a biracial family.
Everybody.
Cable TV company, you know, potato chips, this, everything.
There's always a biracial.
Never a white family, a white, no, God, no.
It's always biracial, which is fine, fine.
And then sometimes you'll say, hey, let's have more trans, transgender actors and actresses, if you can even say this.
Well, how do you know?
Sometimes you can't tell them to say, you know, I think...
No, he's not.
Oh, he's not?
Oh, sorry.
What if you're pegged for being transgender and you're not?
Is that appropriation?
Trust me, they'll find a way.
Look, if people can find a way to object to sound of freedom, they can do anything.
Okay?
But what is interesting to note, Is how many people love to overly complicate Barbie.
They love to complicate it.
What do you think about this?
What do you think?
I've been through this my whole life.
In my generation.
Listen to those lyrics.
I remember one time, was it 7th grade?
Blood Rock.
D-O-A.
About dying?
Blood Rock?
My parents are very, as you would say, cool about it.
Is this song about people dying?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Didn't make a big deal.
If you play the song backwards, you can hear Source of the Devil.
I didn't hear that.
They were doing that then.
They've been talking about interpreting music since the beginning of time, but kids are looking at it.
They say, this is great.
Interesting story.
You know the actor Michael, is it Madsen or Madsen?
He played, he was Mr. Pink or whoever that was in Reservoir Dogs.
Remember the torture scene?
Spoiler alert!
Remember that with the cop?
Okay.
He was also the dad in Free Willy.
So when he would be at various venues or occasions, kids would say, my daddy, look!
This is years ago, look!
And the father would say, oh my god!
The father would see the homicidal killer from Reservoir Dogs, but the kids saw the father in Free Willy, from what I hear.
This goes to show you intellectual overkill.
It goes to show you how a lot of people go out of their way to make things more complicated than they really are.
But the bottom line is simply this.
It's a celebration of girls!
I don't care about the patriarchy.
Girls acted like girls and dolls and no tattoos and they're just girls and gender and binary, damn it!
Binary!
Girls!
Girls!
The boys were a little, well, it's a different story, a little stupid, but you know what?
No problem.
Hey, truth is a defense.
It's still, what is it, a billion dollars a month?
I doubt.
I doubt that.
Just like Oppenheimer.
People never heard of Oppenheimer until now.
But I digress.
So you know what?
Go see it.
Go see it.
And if you've got a little girl, take her.
Well, not too young.
I mean, some of this stuff.
Because she's not going to get it.
She'll just see pink and colors and dogs and people waving.
Hi, Barbie.
Hi.
Little cars.
That's all they'll see.
And that's all it is.
Because that's all Barbie was.
Because when you take away all this interpretation and breaking it down, it's just a doll.
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