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July 11, 2023 - Lionel Nation
14:47
Colleen Ballinger's Masterclass in Fake Remorse — A Lawyer's Take

Absolutely horrendous.

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I have found the story involving the Colleen Ballinger apologia, the apology, fascinating.
Fascinating.
As a lawyer.
And I'm watching this and I'm thinking to myself, boy, she needs some help here.
Well, I'll let you read into that, but as far as the way you speak, how do you address something that you've done to the public, which is technically wrong, creepy, perhaps maybe illegal in some people's eyes?
I'm not saying it is.
But how do you apologize?
Answer, not like she has.
And this is a very important issue for everybody to learn, whether you're in politics, real life, in a relationship, whatever.
I want to discuss this to you.
We're going to be talking about this because this is fascinating.
This is a chance to get something that's happening in real life and looking at the ramifications of it and what we can learn from it, rather than break through each individual aspect and fact and what you should and should not have done.
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Now let's get down to brass tacks.
First of all, when you are going before the world to apologize, what are you trying to do?
Well, let's think about it in terms of an arrangement, or as one client of mine called it, an arrangement.
And I've been a lawyer for 40 years now, and I have seen this.
Believe me, I have seen this, and I have seen people make mistakes time after time.
In real life, when somebody makes an accusation against you, you have to wait.
For them to make an accusation.
I think we know the accusations made against her regarding inappropriate behavior, children, blah, blah, blah.
Whatever it is.
By the way, remember, anytime you hear the word children and inappropriate, that's it.
Now we're talking something that puts you at a whole different level.
It's like misdemeanor to felony.
So your apology has to be better.
Now, you can do one of three things in real life.
You can plead guilty.
You can say, I did it.
I admit to all of the well-pleaded allegations in the indictment.
Everything.
I did it.
Yes, yes, yes.
Guilty, guilty, guilty.
Then there's the not guilty.
I deny.
By the way, remember, not guilty doesn't mean I didn't do it.
It means I deny it.
You prove it.
I'm not saying anything.
In that admission, I'm doing your work for you.
I'm telling you I did it.
No worry, no need for proof.
In a not guilty plea, you're saying, uh-uh, you prove it.
I'm not saying anything.
Not guilty.
Not guilty didn't mean I didn't do it.
On TV, they always say these things were, he pled innocent, but he pleads innocent.
It's not guilty.
You prove it.
You prove it.
In actuality, it's the same thing, but not really.
My favorite, which does not exist in the real world, but sort of, the nolo contendere plea, or no contest.
Or as some of my clients call them, no context, no comment.
My favorite is no conscience, which is one of my favorites.
Now, what is she trying to do?
Believe it or not, Believe it or not, when I tell you what I'm about to tell you, in certain circumstances, not in criminal cases, not in certain things, but sometimes just in real life, the best thing you can do that absolutely diffuses a situation is say, yep, I did it.
I did it.
Now that's step one.
I did it.
You saw this.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I did that.
Next step.
Do they want an explanation?
Do they want you to explain why?
That's interesting.
What do you say?
Why'd you do it?
Stupid!
By calling it stupid, you've just in essence relegated it to something that's a trifle.
Boneheaded.
Ted Bundy never said, you know, I get it, but you know why?
I'm a boneheaded serial killer.
No.
Boneheaded?
What are you going to do?
I'm an idiot.
It implies that it really wasn't that big of a deal.
Nobody was hurt.
I was stupid.
Now, we get into the I'm sorry.
Now, this is the apology.
This is what people say.
An apology.
An apologia.
This is where not only do you say, yes, I did it, but you're saying, I'm sorry I did it.
Then that's broken down into different categories.
I'm sorry I did it.
Or, and or, I'm sorry that you were hurt.
I'm sorry you were hurt.
See, that's different.
I'm sorry I did it, but I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
So you see how we've gone through this tapestry of this.
I did it.
I'm not going to throw in it's stupid because that's important because remember, that sets the tone.
When you tell somebody it's stupid, I don't know what I was thinking.
It makes you sound like, oop, I made a mistake.
I picked up the wrong hat.
And then we get into, I don't want to let you down.
Now you've got to ask yourself, professionally, is there anything you can do?
Especially...
When the people that you're dealing with are children, and when you've got that children thing tacked on, I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.
But what she did, the ukulele thing, I don't know what the hell that is.
That's mocking it.
That means to me, you didn't take it seriously.
You don't think this is serious.
So you made it worse.
You made it worse.
And it's one of those things where You have to ask yourself, are people that clever?
Could this actually be a brilliant move on her part?
To bring more attention to this, and in this weird inverse, this weird inertia, parallel universe that we live in, where stupid things actually get more attention than smart things, I don't know.
Are people that smart?
Is she that smart?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I doubt it.
There's something that happens to people when they've been at the top of something for so long.
They feel invincible.
And they lose track of what they're doing.
The real...
Let me explain this.
The real they, the real people that they are, that rises to the top.
And also what's interesting to note, and this is very interesting, sometimes, and believe me when I say this, if you've ever done anything in terms of performance, sometimes when you are the best is when you're the most comfortable, when there's no guard.
Your performance is so good.
It's so real.
And it so connects with your audience.
And the reason why is that you don't think for a moment as far as what you're saying.
And that's where the problem comes in.
So because of that incredible familiarity and the sense of I can do whatever I want and being bold and outrageous and that kind of outrageous line.
But when you lose track, and when somebody's not watching, and when somebody's not watching for you, it says, remember, kids, kids, kids, kids, no, no!
It's a tremendous balance.
But it can be motivated, believe it or not, by people who feel so at ease with what they're doing.
And by the way, this is the oldest thing in the book.
Now, as we speak, I found this to be so interesting.
And the reason why is simply this.
And people in my generation don't get it, but I get it, big time.
When I grew up, we grew up, we had three networks and nobody cared.
This is different.
This is something that involves analysis upon analysis, review upon review, and the most thorough, painstaking, surgical Dissection of everything.
It is beyond fascinating.
People weighing in.
People leveling.
Some of the best reviews, the best analyses, the best thoughts, the best commentary.
And people, again, from my, I hate to say it, my general, and others will say, what is all this talk about?
I say, you don't get it, do you?
You don't get it.
Today there was a story.
Madonna finally confronts the rumors.
What's so good about that?
What's so good about some professional baseball player who's out for the season because of turf toe or whatever?
Why is any story interesting?
Why are cluster bomb stories interesting?
Why is that?
I know you're going to think I've lost my mind.
Why is sending cluster bombs to Ukraine any more important Then Miranda, acting like a damn fool in front of her friends and doing the ukulele apology that nobody believes.
Tell me, in terms of importance, why one story is more important.
To the millions and millions and millions and millions of people who are commenting or who are reading or care about this particular story, who know nothing about cluster bombs in Ukraine, this story is more important because it deals with the absolute value of something.
Remember in school, remember the absolute value?
The absolute value of four is four.
The absolute value of minus four is four.
Absolute value determines magnitude, not direction, not worth.
Not any of that.
This is a story that's fascinating.
And if you don't mind, what am I asking you for?
Well, I guess I respect you.
I want to weigh in more about this.
Now let me ask you something.
Especially if you have never thought about this, if you've never watched this story.
And by the way, I am somebody who is blessed with the ability to find virtually any story interesting, and I'm curious about everything.
How should she have handled this?
What should she have said?
What did she do wrong?
What was the most offensive to you?
What did you, as an observer, either as a fan or not, as a parent or not, as a person, as a kid, as a whatever, whatever particular status on the...
What demographic spectrum you enjoy, what was it about this that you thought was the most boneheaded?
And was this, is this the end, the termination, the end of a career?
There's always something fascinating about careers at end.
Jon Stewart, I don't know about him, Tucker Carlson, you probably don't know who that is, but anyway, that's somebody that, well, he was fired, but he may or may not have precipitated this by virtue of what he said.
And certain things happen.
And the thing is, how is damage control?
How does it work into this?
And do you think somebody at that particular level would be, wouldn't they be getting the best possible information and care there is?
We'll talk more about this.
I'll talk to you more about this.
If you want, you let me know.
Should I talk to you about this?
Because I've got ideas.
Redemption.
Rehabilitation.
What you do to undo it.
How you learn from it.
And then, how you own it.
And that's the thing.
That separates the greats from the nobodies and the has-beens.
That's all.
What do you think?
I want to hear your comments.
By the way, do me a favor.
Please write down your thoughts and comments.
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