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May 13, 2024 - The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters

01:29:04

The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters #913

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Time	Text
	.
	Oh, hello.
	And welcome to the podcast, The Low Seaters.
	I'm joined by Stelios.
	Hello.
	And Josh.
	Hello.
	Today, we're going to be talking about a portal to the Irish, a guide to third world-isms, and Eurovision has fallen.
	Eurocentric.
	Well, not Eurocentric.
	Third world-isms are definitely not European.
	They are now.
	We're going to talk about Irish demons who are coming.
	Sort of, yes.
	Yeah.
	Except they're not coming.
	They're mooning.
	Going?
	What?
	Yeah, anyway.
	Okay.
	So I have an announcement to make apparently, which is this.
	Here you go.
	So here's the Lotus Cedars merch store, which is on the website.
	And I have a thing to read, which is that there's new merch incoming.
	This is the last week you'll be able to buy the current merch with a 10% discount.
	So there you are.
	Go ahead and check that out.
	Apparently it's automatically applied when you add something to your basket.
	There we go.
	Go ahead and check it out.
	Anyway, shall we get on with the show, I suppose, instead?
	Which is, um... The Irish!
	They've appeared.
	They're coming out of portals now.
	Like you mentioned, the demons are coming.
	They're coming to New York City, it seems, which I would have thought were already there, but...
	Yeah, the Irish have been in New York for quite some time, but... There's more of them!
	They're coming out of sort of fantasy-esque portals, aren't they?
	I've seen this story.
	The Irish are emerging out of nowhere.
	People who don't know, a portal has been built between New York City and Dublin, and what did you think was going to happen is what we're going to go through, but I have something to say first, because it's written, and as you can see here, it is the production manager's job on lowesies.com slash careers.
	And the thing here says, we're looking for a production manager with skills in videography, audio, editing, available to work in London, with occasional travel to Swindon, and if you're interested, go and check it out.
	Alright.
	So here's what I'm talking about, which is that we all enjoy a good game of banter.
	And as you can see, capture the flag with Shia LaBeouf.
	was a hell of a fun time.
	For people who, the five of you who don't know, Shia LaBeouf decided to put up this camera with a live stream, and it was all about how he hated Trump or who really cares.
	And all it turned into was a shitposting festival for all of the people of New York and those watching at home.
	This is a sort of cultural high point for 4chan, wasn't it?
	Yeah.
	It's beautiful.
	It's a work of art.
	It came to Liverpool as well.
	We had good bands.
	And I'm proud to say the Anglosphere does seem to have good bands, if nothing else.
	And then what spiked my interest and the reason I'm bringing this up is, of course, I mentioned the portal has been built to the underworld.
	New York City here.
	Between Dublin and New York, there is this livestream, which is shaped as a portal, obviously.
	It's a bloody camera.
	But it's cool because it's real time and in real life.
	Which, for some stupid reason, whoever organized this thought would be family-friendly.
	Which... They're keeping it on 24-7.
	So when there's not loads of people around and no sunshine, what do you think people are doing with it?
	This is exactly what a voyeurist would want.
	Looking at orgies.
	I was just about to say, this is perfect for a psychologist because, you know, it's great observation.
	You get to watch people in their natural environment.
	This is shown off, at least they thought how this would go, the creators, the people who signed off on it, as, oh, people will be dancing and saying hello and welcome to Dublin and, oh, cheers and wholesomeness.
	The kind of thing you could put on daytime TV would happen.
	And some of that, I mean, some people were doing stupid, weird things like the first Bitcoin transaction.
	So this is a guy buying Bitcoin over the portal, which, okay.
	But why?
	Novelty?
	I guess so, I suppose so.
	And if you're wondering, because I'll show you where it went obviously in a minute, but if you're wondering why people thought this would be super wholesome and cute AF, it's because apparently they did it in Poland and Lithuania beforehand.
	The company that have organized this, this was their previous attempt.
	And while the Poland-Lithuanian relationship is far less, I think, brutal than the Yankee I'm going to say Anglistan, I'm going to keep using that word, or the British Isles, but it's just the case that I think that we have to give credit to the Irish.
	Like, there is good banter on this island.
	And when I mean banter, I mean a sort of hatred, but that's fun.
	And the Irish are sort of the ones who suffered the most in this whole island ponchop of the years.
	That's an interesting way of putting it, yeah.
	And they came out on top in king banter land, it seems, because we'll see in a minute.
	But the Lithuanians and the Poles, as you can see here, this is, of course, then the BBC News reporting on this, and they're just like, oh, love hearts, yay, families, blah, blah, blah.
	But I did go searching for Polish language news about this old portal.
	And this is originally in Polish here, put it through Google Translate.
	And all of it, like every single thing about it was just like, ah, so cute, kind of cool, we can see each other.
	Which doesn't really make much sense, because it's not that interesting.
	We literally live next to each other with a land border.
	It's not amazing.
	I mean, the fun thing would be if you could enter into it.
	But they don't.
	No.
	Although, I did find one funny story out of the Polish-Lithuanian one, which apparently some guy mentioned on Reddit that he was at the Polish-Lithuanian side, and the other guy put his finger up at him.
	So, that's about as rowdy as it got between those two.
	I've been waiting for the big fat man to turn up and I don't mean me, in the old lollipop at the minute and I. Have a little look now, look.
	All you English for the gear, look.
	All you English for the gear!
	There he is.
	We don't forget, leave with me.
	in me old lollipop at the minute, and I have a little look now, look.
	All you English for the gear, look.
	All you English for the gear.
	We don't forget, leave with me.
	We don't forget, leave with me.
	We don't indeed, but the Irish don't forget mooning.
	This is the first night.
	So after the sun had set and all the families had gone home.
	The moon came out by the looks of it.
	Sorry.
	The moon did indeed come out.
	With his cock and balls between his legs.
	So immediately, a guy decided to moon the Yanks.
	That's no moon.
	Which, um, a bit playful.
	You know, it's sunshine for them.
	It looks like they're all taking photos of it, which is even funnier.
	Like they're all there with cameras.
	Yeah, and his friends as well.
	Get some Irishman's pale arse.
	Before we go further, do keep in mind, of course, that if you're on the Irish side, you can see the New Yorkers, but you can't see what you're showing them, because it's just a camera, there's no FaceTime feature.
	So then some guy decided to go out with his phone and just show them 9-11.
	Just spit that, just say, remember that?
	that?
	Remember that, fellas?
	Don't do that.
	laughs That is the kind of thing that if me and my friends were sat around watching this screen, they'd be like, should we do it?
	It'd be funny, wouldn't it?
	It would be funny to show New Yorkers 9-11, wouldn't it?
	We probably wouldn't do it because we'd be like, that's a bit tasteless.
	But also, the fact someone else did it is hilarious.
	But of course, like, no one behind him in the Irish crowd knows what he's showing them, because they're just seeing a guy showing a phone.
	Yeah.
	And then all these Americans going, oh my God!
	I also love, I don't know if you can make it out, but this is from an Instagram account called New York News up there.
	So just whatever.
	I like how the easiest way to find a picture of 9-11 is on Instagram as well.
	Turns out to be.
	I also do love...
	I know, it's New York City, it's New Yorkers, whatever, but 9-11, especially for people who didn't watch it on TV, it's just become a meme.
	9-11 memes are so ubiquitous at this point.
	I remember seeing some posts about how people who have had kids, and the kids would come to them and think that 9-11 was just an image.
	It was just a meme format.
	They didn't realise it was a real event.
	That's how disconnected it's gotten.
	I mean, I think the thing that ruined it for me was the Norm Macdonald Show, where 9-11 is a running gag.
	Which probably makes it worse because he's Canadian as well.
	Or makes it funnier, should I say.
	Yeah.
	But there's that scream.
	Which, um, is something.
	But as you can see, that's what immediately happens, so we've got an arse, we've got 9-11, What's third?
	What do we do third?
	We're the Irish, we're bored, we've showed them 9-11, we've showed them our arsehole.
	Did someone urinate?
	Almost.
	No.
	Some fella, not sure if it's the same 9-11 fella, just started pulling out porn.
	Just started livestreaming porn.
	Got a bit of a censor in there so we don't have to look at that.
	I like how there are people behind clearly watching as well.
	The best part is obviously, as I mentioned, this Irish girl here, she can't see what's on his phone.
	Only the New Yorkers can see what's on their phone.
	Okie dokie.
	This is why you don't open a portal to the Irish, that's all I'm saying.
	Because another fella, or maybe the same one, just kept doing it.
	As you can see, the name of the porn site there.
	Again, I've had to censor this one.
	I love this caption.
	Irish women at the portal, dancing, making hearts with their hands.
	Irish men, 9-11, porn and mooning.
	It is true.
	There is a gender difference into how you interact with the portal, Irish lads.
	Far better crack, just saying.
	We could just, you know, if the British Isles could bully across the Atlantic for the past 300 or so years, if not 400, there would be no troubles on those islands, would there?
	But I also love how, um, so the New Yorkers, they've not really done anything even... Well, what are they going to do?
	What are you going to show?
	The pictures of potatoes?
	What do you do to get the Irish?
	They're going to get on the subway and they're going to see it all live, I imagine.
	Yeah.
	In New York.
	Yeah.
	Maybe not 9-11, but the other stuff.
	I mean, if you are a New York viewer, I mean, you can go find this thing.
	I mean, if you've got pictures of potatoes on your phone, We might even have potatoes at home.
	Yeah, take some potatoes down and just waste them.
	They're not that expensive anymore, guys.
	I'm trying to think, because it's easy to get at the Americans.
	I mean, there's just an endless list of things that you could just make fun of them.
	Which is as simple as, haha, you guys got 9-11ed.
	I mean, there's some baseness to that.
	I don't mean it in the term base, I mean it in the term I don't find it funny but it's okay.
	Here we go.
	It's negative level.
	You don't need to do it.
	I don't find it funny, but it's okay.
	There you go.
	But I do love how people enjoy the fact that, obviously, you built this portal and immediately the average Irish user.
	Here we go.
	At least he had the decency to turn away.
	People listening.
	New York side of the portal.
	Whoa, this is epic.
	Makes you think about society.
	Dublin side of the portal, man pissing.
	Man pissing in public.
	I also like how he's wearing traxy bottoms and a blazer.
	That's a combination you don't see very often, is it?
	Yeah, that's a fun one.
	Yeah.
	He's going to work.
	Not sure what as.
	You know, he's squatting at four and at six he's going out on the town.
	He's got to make his money somehow.
	Slavic from the waist down.
	He screams suspicious.
	You mean someone being videoed urinating on the street?
	No, I mean the kind of clothes he's wearing, the combination.
	It's like a podcast host.
	The fact of what he's wearing.
	From the waist up, he's wearing formal clothes from the waist down.
	Who knows?
	I'm nude from the waist down.
	We all are.
	The whole time.
	Or 3,000 episodes.
	Anyway, moving on.
	It's traumatizing.
	We'll get to this, because this is something... The New York side has just been not as banterous.
	So this is here, some people talking about the fact they're obsessed with... There have been some New York lads camping out to get Irish girls' phone numbers.
	That's all they're doing.
	They're just like, what's your number?
	Everyone knows there are no Irish people in New York.
	Do you recognize Irishmen who have gone to New York and they're picking up Irish girls' numbers?
	Imagine they had POS with a particular amount and they showed it and they tried to pay.
	Well, there was.
	I mean, the guy with Bitcoin did it.
	Yeah.
	I wonder if they're going to do scams through the portal.
	That's what's going to happen.
	Portal to India, that's what you're going to get.
	Portal between Nigeria and India, and we make them scam each other and see who wins.
	Like a scam-a-thon.
	Okay, I found it.
	It's funnier that way.
	Okay, the funniest thing, the weirdest thing, would be to have two portals facing each other But then no one will be able to go in between.
	Yeah, but it would be just super gossip and you wouldn't know.
	But it wouldn't work!
	It doesn't make any sense!
	Okay, move it on.
	It would work.
	We need a portal to Stelios's mind to know what you mean.
	So getting back to New York, because it is true that it turns out the New York lads are a little bit similar to the Irish in the sense that they're both pulling their arse out.
	Sure as you can see.
	Yeah, twerking.
	Yeah.
	Average New York women.
	Now we're talking.
	Now we're talking.
	So they both have got their arse out, so that's about as far as they've gone.
	That lad is particularly happy about it.
	Everyone else is like, oh, but I was out with my kids and having a sweet experience.
	It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
	Just wait for June, OK?
	They won't be able to say that.
	If they took their children to all the drag queen story hours and stuff, they wouldn't be able to say anything about how that's working.
	So you can have more disastrous, woke nonsense on the other side of the ball.
	Yeah, there's no argument they have.
	But I'm excited to see how quick this gets closed down, really.
	I guess that's where this is going, let's be frank.
	I like things like this, so.
	It makes the world a better place, being able to abuse people across the opposite end of the Atlantic.
	I want more.
	I don't even need an internet connection.
	You know how cities are partnered with another place?
	Just have screens like this with your twin city.
	Yeah.
	That's a great idea.
	What's Swindon Twin with?
	Let's find out.
	Can you Google that?
	It won't be twinned with another place.
	In England.
	Disney, apparently.
	It is, yeah.
	Where's Disney World?
	Swindon and Disney.
	I'm not sure.
	Both are very unhappy places, yeah.
	Do you want a portal to Disney World?
	Like, yeah, they'll just be noncing on the other side, and then Swindon will be like, do you have to?
	Salzgitter in Germany, and Ocotel in Central America.
	Nicaragua, okay.
	I don't know why it's telling me where Nicaragua is, I know.
	Not even worth bullying.
	What's that initiative?
	I don't know.
	He decided what's the twin city.
	Yeah, councils.
	But I have some dreams, because, of course, this being like Shia LaBeouf in the sense that this is what this is going to devolve into, because you did this in the Anglosphere, dummy.
	They did it in their lovely neighbours, long history, friends, Lithuania, Poland, and they're just like, oh, hello, hello, perkele.
	Neither.
	Finish, anyway.
	He was a tourist.
	But that's that's the hell that way.
	But they're the Irish.
	I mean, you're just asking for trouble for a portal to the Irish.
	Because I have dreams of what to come.
	So people have been suggesting that soon, you know, this man will return.
	A pirate.
	Because the original Shia LaBeouf was in New York City.
	So the Metal Gear Solid man will be returning from the Museum of Keck.
	But there are also some other demands from people.
	Some people are hoping they'll open a portal between Kiev and Moscow.
	I was just about to say that.
	Yeah.
	Want to listen to what that might sound like?
	Is it a video game lobby by any chance?
	Those were the days.
	I remember when microphones sounded like that.
	That's what the front line sounds like.
	Don't have to go.
	Oh god.
	So the Russia-Ukraine conflict is just like a real life Call of Duty lobby, right?
	Or Halo lobby.
	CS2 as well, yeah.
	Because they all play CS?
	They do like Counter-Strike.
	I have noticed that there's more Cyrillic in a Counter-Strike game than anything else, a lot of the time.
	When I was in Donbass, turn on the TV, watch a bit of Donbass TV, see what the other kids are watching, it was actually a Counter-Strike game on the television.
	Terrestrial television.
	That's just how they are.
	But, I mean, everyone was predicting this, though, is what I was getting at.
	I mean, like, this is when the portal came out, this original tweet, and everyone was just retweeting it with, like, you know, five minutes, and we'll have some 9-11 posts.
	What do you think was going to happen?
	This is also a way of offending people in a time when you can't offend people without consequence.
	Because it's not like New York is going to prosecute you for this.
	This is a different country.
	I feel like the Dublin police might, actually.
	You're offending people outside of our jurisdiction.
	I don't think they can, can they?
	I don't know.
	No, I mean like the Dublin police will go and arrest the Irishman having fun.
	But of course if you're in New York... Maybe not the 9-11 one.
	They're waving their arse about maybe, but...
	But no, even for that, I reckon.
	So if you're a New Yorker, though, and you've got that goddamn First Amendment, go out and use it.
	Get your potatoes.
	Anyway, moving on.
	Because I wanted to mention, of course, like this is expected to some extent, but I'll end this segment with just a piece of joy, which I've mentioned before, but it will endlessly be joy to me, which is the difference between the different parts of the Anglosphere.
	Because, as I mentioned, banter in the United States, at least when this portal is regarded, hasn't gone too far yet.
	It's not gone far enough.
	Not even close.
	You haven't crossed the line.
	The Irish?
	Maybe!
	But we'll get there.
	We're getting there pretty quick.
	But you go and check out the different boundaries of the world in the Anglosphere, and I must mention this.
	I've mentioned so many times.
	Let's enjoy it, I suppose.
	This is Football Chants.
	Americans versus English, which, as you can see, is labelled funny and cringe, depending on what kind of chant you're listening to.
	So, just to mention how different we are as places.
	Fight and win!
	Fight and win!
	Come on, Seattle!
	Come on, Seattle!
	I have to think about that one.
	What do you feel?
	Underwhelmed.
	I'm perplexed.
	Cringed?
	I've been to proper English football matches quite a few times, so I know what we're capable of.
	Hmm.
	But this goes on.
	I mean, that's a particularly cringe one, but there's some more.
	You out!
	We're gonna stop you out!
	Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
	Hell enough.
	Hell enough is all I'm saying about that.
	But then we'll go and check out some British ones, shall we?
	For what they're like, because I particularly like how funny they are.
	If nothing else, we're not going to look at Park, although we've mentioned that before.
	Can I read that one out?
	I've just looked at it.
	The reason I bring this up is there's a certain element of banter here that is hard to translate between cultures.
	I think that's probably why the Irish are winning, because they've also got the spirit that is in the English football crowns.
	Shall I read out my favourite?
	A poem.
	This is a poem.
	Alright, a poetry reading.
	This is, I believe, about the Manchester player Park.
	I can't remember his full name, but his surname is Park and he's from South Korea.
	And it says, Park, Park, wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your home country.
	It could be worse.
	You could be Scouse eating rats in your council house.
	Beautiful.
	Beautiful.
	I mean, there's just something about it.
	It's a work of art.
	Yeah.
	And also, of course, you know, deprecating other people means you've got to self-deprecate as well for it to not be just evil.
	And as you can see, I've got another one here of self-deprecation, which is just fantastic.
	Their team is so bad, they're not scoring anything, so they're just making it up.
	They're just chanting, let's pretend, let's pretend, let's pretend we scored.
	Well with a football match, you're there for quite an amount of time, and you know, it's a lot of time to sink a few tinnies down, but also, it can be quite boring sometimes, particularly if your team's playing quite defensively.
	You kind of have to make your own entertainment up.
	Sure.
	I'm not bringing up football to talk about football, I'm talking about the bitterness and the fun and the chanting, because it translates, I think, into this kind of, well, muck that we've been seeing from the Irish, which is, yeah, kind of like.
	We'll let this off with the last one here, which I just want to show, because why not?
	I've got the time.
	Let's show this one.
	Turn them on up.
	Turn them on up.
	I'm just saying there's a level of aggression, mischievousness, you know.
	I was in Paddington Station the other day, the misfortune of going to London.
	And a bunch of football fans came out of a train and there's just this booming noise and at first I thought there was some sort of fault with the speakers in the station but it's just the football fans making a really loud noise and all the Londoners were like cowering at these proper Englishmen coming back to their capital city.
	It was great just seeing all the Londoners like scared and it was just football chants and I was just like this isn't scary this is funny.
	I just don't think you get the same thing out of we beat the Russians to the moon for that last example there, the American chant.
	Trying too hard.
	Yeah, I think the Americans are going to do some catching up.
	We'll see who wins the Great Portal War, but my money's on the Irish so far because strong showing and not just the arse.
	Let's move on, shall we?
	Oh, it's me, isn't it?
	I was getting too much into the football chants and not preparing for my segment right.
	So, yes, I need to change the order quickly, John, before I do this segment.
	I can't even see the mouse.
	Here we are.
	I'm going to move that link first.
	There we go.
	Third Worldisms.
	It was originally a phrase that was used by Chairman Mao, but I'm reclaiming it, just like the N-word.
	I'm claiming it as my own, and I want to redefine it, because I'm not letting communists define my phrases.
	I'm redefining it as things that migrants and immigrants do that are common in their home country, but not in Western countries.
	That's what a Third Worldism is now.
	Forget Chairman Mao.
	He doesn't exist.
	This is the new definition.
	But before going into it, it is worth mentioning, we've got some merch.
	It's not got Chairman Mao on.
	And there is 10% off of our merch because it's about to change.
	So if you want to get any of these things, you will have a discount automatically applied to your account and you can get them before they go.
	So there you go.
	You'll find it on our website, on our shop, on our website even, the other way around.
	I screwed that one up.
	But anyway, migrants, no one likes them.
	We've all got them.
	Here, Greece hates them the most.
	Um, Apparently 90% of citizens say that their country is accepting too many migrants, so well done Stelios.
	That's true.
	That's all you, no one else is saying it, it's just the strength of your will is determining that Greece has the highest amount.
	Britain doesn't even register, I don't know why.
	We're not in the EU.
	Because Davos is Britain's strength.
	That's right.
	But Ireland as well, pretty high up.
	Austria, but basically lots of the world getting mass immigration.
	No one wants it.
	Of course we don't actually have a choice, normal people, because the United Nations and NGOs, for example, are helping them.
	Here they are creating signs to show the route in which migrants can get across the US southern border.
	So expect more of this, expect more third world-isms in your home nation, and it'll probably turn out looking like this Irish park.
	And this is a bit like watching adverts in the UK.
	You need to spot the native person.
	You cannot.
	This is a park in Ireland.
	There are no Irish people here on a hot sunny day because they've all been pushed out by other people.
	This is what you will get with migration.
	But I want to teach you how to spot the third world-isms because the first sign...
	It is a spotter's guide.
	Anywhere you look?
	The sooner you spot your colonisation, the better.
	And there are lots of very, very easy signs to spot, because they're not discreet.
	Things like this.
	I'm sorry for what I'm about to show you.
	This is in Lyon station in France.
	A naked man taking a dump.
	I'm not going to dwell on that one too much because it was haunting.
	It was sort of like a cursed renaissance painting but also here in New York they've had a bunch of migrants as well and they've been turned into, these New York neighborhoods, into a giant toilet.
	I don't know how you could tell the difference because all of New York's basically that already so it must really be bad if the New Yorkers are taking exception to it.
	Apparently The parks are being treated as toilets with poop and cups of urine left on people's doorsteps.
	So lovely.
	So yes, this is... Cups of urine?
	Just find some tree or grass.
	Why would you take out a cup from Starbucks, fill it up with piss and leave it on someone's doorstep?
	That's hatred.
	I couldn't find someone to piss.
	There you go.
	There is a more symbolic notion in some cultures about it.
	I don't know.
	Maybe it's a gift.
	Yeah.
	It's like a cup of sugar, but in Nigerian culture.
	They do this to keep demons away or something, or evil spirits.
	Free urine for your tanning salon.
	It's just they got the wrong kind of idea.
	Tanning salon?
	Yeah, they thought they were tanning leather, instead of tanning women.
	The middle ages, yeah.
	We've also got this, as well.
	This is an Indian takeaway chef, if you will.
	That is a trolley, and that is chicken in there, and that is a blowtorch.
	This is a takeaway, and it's grim enough it looks like Britain.
	It's not actually the third world.
	You can tell by the green bins, but, you know, a lot of Britain's starting to look like that.
	I thought he was washing the chicken.
	I thought he was jet washing it.
	No, he's not jet washing it.
	I saw the members of the public and ran back.
	Yeah, there he is.
	Using a blowtorch to cook the chicken.
	Would you eat this chicken?
	This trolley chicken?
	Try everything once.
	Bit of trolley chicken.
	Taste of the third world.
	Never killed anyone yet.
	No, I would not.
	And then he's going to sell it to a place where people eat.
	Well, he's cooking it out the back of the takeaway, I think.
	That's what's going on.
	Well, torching it.
	Bro has a blowtorch and a shop, but not an oven.
	He's got a blowtorch and a dream, Callum.
	Don't you get in his way.
	Okay.
	Why not use a lighter if you're going to be in that?
	Why not like a campfire?
	I mean, honestly, if he actually made a campfire and then made a barbecue, and actually barbecued it instead of using a Tesco trolley, it would be better.
	I don't know how this isn't less efficient than just putting them in the oven.
	Look, yeah, we'll try to reason with it, won't we?
	That's true.
	They have a reason with an Indian.
	I meant third world-isms.
	There's also the problem of taking public transport because if you have to get public transport in a place that's afflicted with third world-isms it can be difficult.
	For example this.
	You showed it in the beginning by the man taking a poop.
	Yeah, well, we're not done yet, Stelios.
	This is a whistle-stop tour of third-worldisms.
	Staring people out on the tube.
	I'm not sure if this person was actually staring them out, but it's just a funny picture.
	But there are cases of random people staring people out on the tube.
	I've had it in London where someone's, this guy who looked like he was perhaps East African, just wouldn't stop making eye contact with me and it's really weird.
	And it's particularly bad if you're a woman.
	Particularly bad if you're a blonde and attractive woman.
	You will get leered at by both, you know, the Sub-Saharans and the Middle Eastern cohort of the London demographic.
	Have you seen the signs up on the Tube?
	Staring is... Staring is sexual harassment?
	Never saw that as a kid.
	No, it's funny.
	There were no signs saying if you stare at women you'll go to jail because it wasn't a problem.
	Well, we didn't stare at women because we were normal.
	You looked at them?
	Sometimes.
	Oh, she's nice.
	Moving on.
	You didn't go like...
	You sound like a boiling kettle.
	That's weird, don't do that.
	Especially with that noise, yeah.
	The best part is you're on the tube whereas she's actually like a foot away.
	So even back in 2005, things like loud music on buses were seen as a significant problem, and this makes me laugh.
	There's an increasing problem of people playing loud music on buses.
	Why is it increasing, London?
	It's only got worse, by the way.
	Why was it increasing in 2005?
	Who got elected in 1997 that might have increased the number of people that played loud music on buses?
	I can't tell you.
	I've constantly experienced this on trains and I just don't understand why can't people get headphones?
	I know, that's the funny thing.
	So the funny thing is the answer.
	Campaigns in the past to discourage this activity have not had any significant effect as the offenders for the most part are unaware or unconcerned that their activity is having a detrimental effect on other passengers.
	That tells you about something about these passengers, that they're not concerned about the people around them because back in, you know, the day, people in Britain We're concerned about what people thought of them, in fact, to perhaps even excessive degrees in many cases.
	So this wouldn't happen.
	But what has happened that has meant that people are no longer concerned?
	You look like you want to say something, Callum.
	Passengers could be here, he thought.
	Passengers?
	The cool wind on his brow.
	I hate passengers.
	Josh, I think I should say something funny I've seen on a train that is about, that I also mentioned, contemplations.
	Yeah, so basically I was traveling the whole country every week for about a year when I started working here and there was an old man in front of me with a hard of hearing device and he was watching lesbian porn and he couldn't hear it and it was very loud and the whole,
	Yeah and he was exactly to my left on the front seat so I could also watch.
	It's a bonus because you didn't have the social derision.
	Obviously I wasn't watching.
	You talked about the gay porn on the plane, didn't I?
	Oh yeah!
	Well, tell the audience.
	Basically, you get on a plane, and you're watching The Last of Us, and then one episode turns into basically a gay porn story.
	So you're just sat watching this play, and then there's gay porn on your screen, and then you look around, and you look at your screen like you're all the weirdo.
	It's not like you're trying to watch a TV show!
	Yeah, it's very difficult in this day and age not to watch gay porn, isn't it?
	Yeah, it's everywhere.
	Yeah, that's gonna get cropped, isn't it?
	Oh dear.
	But um, yes, also in 2008, oh no, that's wrong, I'm pre-empting.
	Yep, there are fines now.
	A man with a very English name, Osuliam Oluwamdi Oluwafah, 31, was prosecuted for playing music out loud on the tube.
	£300!
	If they started doing this more regularly, I imagine even the third worlders would be able to understand.
	That's a lot of money for someone from Africa as well.
	But also, yes, there is a genius way, apparently, to shut out music on the underground.
	And there's a whole article on My London about it.
	Electromagnetic pulse?
	I wish.
	No, it's headphones.
	They wrote an entire article, all of this, Headphones is the genius idea.
	It sort of leaves me speechless.
	For people listening, we're looking at a headline that says, Of people talking on loudspeaker on the tube, yeah.
	I've written 5,000 words!
	Wear headphones!
	That's some more cutting-edge journalism there.
	And also there was a survey done in 2008, so it goes all the way back, of course, London being built by diversity as we're constantly reminded.
	So these problems are obviously rooted in the past.
	And speaking loudly on mobile phones is the most commonly witnessed type of inconsiderate behaviour on public transport according to new research conducted by Transport for London.
	I mean I could have told you that and it's certainly still the case now I imagine, although it might also be evacuating one's bowels on public transport because things have degenerated significantly.
	But if you do manage to get on a bus that doesn't have anyone playing music or doesn't have anyone speaking on speakerphone, what might happen is you might get held up by a man on a camel.
	This is something that happens increasingly often.
	Wasn't this meant to be a spotter's guide to third worlders?
	There's not so much spotting as the bleeding obvious.
	I didn't say it would be difficult.
	This isn't bird watching.
	Ladies and gentlemen, he might be a bit foreign.
	There's actually a video here of the man on the camel.
	Here he is, replete with a gang of road men there with their masks covering their face because of course they're cool or I cover my face.
	I like the hot fuzz notion of he covers his face because he's really ugly.
	To be fair, I mean, if you've got a camel, you are kind of cool.
	The rest of them no.
	The others don't have a camel.
	The camel owner though.
	Yeah, riding about the London streets though in the rain.
	On a camel.
	It's not the best mode of transport.
	I got nothing going on.
	If you leave the camel outside of a shop, someone's going to nick it by the time you get out.
	Anyway, it's like a bicycle.
	Maybe this is a nicked camel.
	You're going to come out and the camel's legs have been taken and it's left on bricks.
	Yeah, it's a bit weird, isn't it?
	But some things are so brazen, I can't help but respect them.
	Like this one.
	Guy eats a whole lobster dinner on the New York subway.
	Here he is.
	That's a substantial amount of lobster there.
	And he's just there eating lobster on his commute, I suppose.
	I know this is obviously very, very inconsiderate.
	However, I can't help but respect it.
	Do you get the same feeling?
	It's so out there.
	He may as well have put down a little blanket, maybe poured himself a glass of champagne, had some lobster whilst on the New York subway.
	He's sort of classing the place up.
	Yeah, I mean, there's some novelty there.
	You have to give it to him.
	I do give it to him.
	But we've all seen the Moscow subway now, haven't we?
	The Metro?
	Yes.
	The chandeliers and everything.
	Yeah, what Packer was showing.
	That's sort of the place to set up shop for your lobster dinner.
	I feel like the New York subway is not the chandeliered Carbolaro that is Moscow.
	Yeah, it's...
	It's not the most hygienic of places is it?
	I've seen a video of a guy passed out lying back and he's just sort of moved his penis slightly so that he can urinate over like in a stream over his shoulder while he's lying down with considerable amounts of splash back on himself i don't understand but uh if public transport and moving around a city puts you off and you might want to uh order food say um there's this new third worldism of delivery drivers
	and uh they've they've only been in the country a short while so you've got to cut them some slack you know they only got over in a boat a few months ago and uh here's one going down a motorway um this for anyone who drives you know knows anything about the highway code in britain this is very very much illegal for your own safety well you You will die.
	Yes, if you're driving along.
	You'll cause a car crash that will kill other people.
	Yes.
	Far more important than you.
	Filthy cyclist.
	Correct response.
	But the notion of a British person cycling down a dual carriageway.
	Yeah, no one does that.
	No one would do it.
	And here it is in the wild, a wild delivery cyclist doing just that.
	So there's also the fact that around Eid, Um, the last Eid that came about.
	A bunch of sheep started disappearing around Wiltshire and around the country, really.
	Sheep, of course, are allowed to be eaten in the Islamic faith.
	And yeah, here's March of 2023 as well.
	A massive spike in rural sheep theft crime.
	And we actually found, near our office building, in the bushes, a plastic bag full of sheep bones.
	I mean, that's not something you tend to find.
	It's a bit grisly to be found ordinarily in a bush in a large town or city in the UK.
	Well, they're bush sheep, aren't they?
	Yes.
	And in Ede, when there's a lot of sheep rustling going on, one has to question why would someone dispose of these bones if they weren't going into the countryside, stealing sheep after sundown when they're allowed to eat, and disposing of them in the town centre?
	I mean that's probably what is going on and it's funny that sheep theft spikes when there are Muslim holidays.
	It's strange that, isn't it?
	But anyway, this next one is quite disturbing.
	Thankfully you don't see very much but this is one that made me very angry.
	Sickening moment man casually barbecues dead cat in the middle of the street.
	Now this is in Tuscany in Italy and lovely part of Italy as well.
	I love Italian food.
	Yeah, thankfully it's so blurry you can't see anything but this was several meters from a train station.
	He just decided, you know, I'm gonna set up a barbecue and I'm gonna eat this dead cat and apparently the woman there accosted him saying we do not cook cats and the man defended his actions by replying I do not have any money and then she said well you have money for cigarettes which is Hilarious.
	I love that people point that out.
	Like, I remember when I was at university, I was really broke.
	I'd had absolutely no money to my name.
	And a guy came up to me with a cigarette and a beer can.
	And he's like, all right, mate, do you have any change?
	And I said, you're probably better off than me.
	And he's like, I don't know about that.
	And it's like, well, you've got a beer and a fag.
	Well, I've got no money whatsoever.
	I couldn't afford either of those things.
	So you need to give me money.
	And he's like, oh, no, I don't have any, mate.
	Do you have any beer?
	Yeah, I'll take a beer.
	But yeah, it's obviously a third world-ism, isn't it?
	Cooking cats.
	I think that's pretty safe to say.
	Also, in, I think it was a New York park, a man started cooking a guinea pig.
	There's no pictures of this one, and unfortunately it's reported on by Vice, but apparently this was a man from Ecuador.
	This is under their Munchies section.
	This is food news, not crime news or anything.
	Food news.
	Guinea pig cooked in New York City Park by the Munchies staff.
	It says that.
	That's the authors.
	The Munchies staff.
	As if they did it.
	Are you hungry?
	Have you considered eating a guinea pig?
	Do you work for Vice News?
	Ecuadorian man had a run-in with the New York City Police Department after he was eating a guinea pig.
	To be fair, in South America they do eat guinea pigs, that's why they were bred, right?
	Good lord.
	Same with chihuahuas, isn't it?
	But yes, it's probably not as normal in New York to eat guinea pigs.
	They're normally pets, aren't they?
	Same with cats.
	But in the third world, of course, they are not.
	They are food, as is everything.
	And also, public disorder, and there's been a sort of phenomenon that's been pointed out, that's been very common, of milling around.
	I know that you've had comments about milling.
	I've noticed milling, it's where people are standing around, not really doing anything, they're sort of loitering, hanging about.
	We get it in Swindon, in the park benches, you get Sort of Middle Eastern types just hanging around a park bench or milling around.
	Conny Drucker here in Rwanda seeing milling about in its natural environment.
	Sorry, Stelios.
	No, no, no.
	I'm sorry for interrupting you.
	But what I wanted to say, because you mentioned Greece in the beginning, that people have a 90% sentiment of there's too much migration.
	In 2015, The borders opened by the Syriza party and we had an influx of around a million people just that year.
	And the immigration minister at that moment was telling to people who were asking, you know, what are they going to do?
	You have an economy that has 30%, close to 30% domestic unemployment level.
	You're just adding a million people.
	What are they going to do?
	And she just said, they're going to just sit there by the sun.
	Well, they are doing just that, and it's also worth mentioning that Connolly Drucker, who's been talking about milling, has talked about us talking about milling, and now I'm talking about him talking about milling, just to be perfectly clear.
	And here you're observing some high-level milling because they're lying out on their belly there, which is a rare kind of milling.
	That is advanced milling, not for your average miller.
	Ultra miller.
	It is, yeah.
	Not like these miller lights.
	Anyway, there are also things, when they're not milling around, they're causing disorder.
	Here there are some Africans in Rome Just causing trouble, shouting at each other, fighting.
	I think one throws a bottle at someone here.
	There we go.
	I think it hits someone, actually.
	But you get the general idea.
	I think he threw a bottle at this other guy's face.
	But this wouldn't be happening.
	I know Italians are known for civil disobedience.
	This is beg me behavior.
	With the glassings.
	What from Trainspotting?
	Yeah, we also watched Drunken Lass throw a glass from Wetherspoons.
	That's true, yeah.
	It's Trainspotting level behaviour.
	And here we are again, a couple of Africans fighting with sticks, probably playing the Duel of Fates from Star Wars in the background.
	And yeah, they're just hitting each other with small sticks.
	This just seems to be a common occurrence now in the streets.
	And of course, the final thing I wanted to mention as well, just committing crime.
	I'm not going to play all of this because it's kind of disturbing, but I can't find the mouse.
	Can you?
	Oh, here we go.
	No, the opposite.
	So people getting mugged in broad daylight.
	And of course, the person's just stood there filming.
	They're not doing anything.
	People will just let muggings happen now.
	Like, I don't know what world I've stepped into, but if crime is being committed, you step in.
	Only today, when I was going for lunch, someone was shoplifting and I accosted him.
	We got a picture of him and we went back to the staff and said, here's the person who stole from you.
	We tried to get him to turn out his bags, didn't seem to have anything on him.
	So you've got to do something about it.
	You know, you might run the risk of getting stabbed.
	So, you know, I can understand why people wouldn't want to do it.
	But at the same time, if the alternative is you just have criminals basically creating a tyranny on your streets, Then you're in for a problem, but here's my review of Third Worldisms.
	It's horrifying, but now you know how to spot the signs of Third Worldism coming to your neighborhood, and you can do something about it before it's too late.
	Right.
	Eurovision has fallen.
	Eurovision is dead and we have killed it.
	It was never good to begin with, Stelios.
	Okay, so that's the main...
	Every time people think this way and they say that we've reached the bottom of the barrel, they wake up to new insane depths.
	And this is exactly what has happened with the Eurovision contest.
	Eurovision is like that Russian mission to drill into the center of the earth, isn't it?
	It's finding depths that we didn't know we had.
	Yeah, so before we say more about this insane competition, check out our career opportunities.
	We are looking for a production manager, someone who is skilled in videography, audio and editing, available to work in London, with occasional travel to Swindon.
	If you're interested, you can read our full job specification on our website.
	Right on to our segment.
	So you've watched a lot of these videos that are talking about cultural decline and they're showing you how a city used to be decades ago and how it is right now and you know they have all the descriptions look at what they have taken from you.
	We're going to do the same thing about Eurovision even if We accept and obviously I have no problem admitting that Eurovision was never of good quality.
	Certainly not their geography because Australia is in it, Israel is in it.
	I don't remember either of those countries being in Europe.
	Yes.
	So I want to say some things about the past.
	I will show you also images to see how it has changed.
	So for instance here.
	Abba with Waterloo won the 1974 Eurovision contest.
	Then from the United Kingdom, Save Your Kisses For Me, Brotherhood of Men.
	Then you have someone who has won twice, Eurovision, Johnny Logan, 1980 What's Another Year, and 1987 with Hold Me Now, which is kind of a good ballad.
	Yeah.
	But you'll see how we got to basically winners who are dressed like chickens.
	Right, so here, this is the British...
	Candidates, the winners of the 1976 competition.
	Just look at how they're dressed, okay?
	It's quite a shock that the 1970s actually comes out looking better in terms of dress.
	Not many people say, you know what, the 70s dress, that's the way to go.
	It is very 70s looking at it, isn't it?
	Yeah, it's 70s number of buttons done up on his shirt.
	Yeah, and it's unapologetically 70s.
	That's the issue, but you'll see now the UK contestant, the British contestant for 2024 was Olly Alexander.
	Look at how he is.
	Did they go for the gayest person they could find?
	I don't know.
	It looks like it.
	And here we have David Atherton.
	We're talking about the video clip where they are imitating a kind of practice called cottaging.
	You see some people there in close proximity.
	Their lips are in close proximity.
	They are just inches away from kissing each other.
	And the other person has sort of cornered Olly Alexander.
	Alexander?
	Yeah.
	If you want to summarize the ethos of the British people in a comparison with other European countries, I think casual sex in a bathroom is the way to do it.
	Casual gay sex in a bathroom.
	Right, so here we have Johnny Logan.
	Here you can just see the winner of the 1980 and the 1987 contest from Ireland.
	He seems well-dressed.
	The songs are good.
	He just doesn't look like a freak.
	Let's see this year's Ireland's people.
	Let's, let's play it with sound because I want you to hear it.
	I want to expose you to the full experience.
	Do you know, do you know what makes me special?
	I'm a queer.
	extra chromosome and i'm a witch yeah so you see from from this arlen has sent that yeah do you know what makes me special i'm queer well it doesn't make you special anymore love everyone is Right.
	Right, so we have yet another comparison by David Vancez, Two Faces of Ireland.
	Dana in 1969, Bambi Thug in 2024.
	What happened?
	So I think that's an interesting contrast.
	Right, here at some point, you know, you have to understand that something really went wrong when people started dressing like Teletubbies.
	There's certainly something wrong with this, I'll give you that.
	I've seen this before.
	This is Ukraine 2007 entry, they came second with this.
	I'd never actually figured out, in all the years of knowing about this, I don't know if that's a man or a woman hosting with the star on their head.
	Shouting in German, random bits of English.
	7-7, something 7-7.
	7-7, I love you.
	This was Russia's reason.
	7-7, I love you in Ukrainian.
	Maybe it's like a code or something.
	He's trying to not forget.
	No, it was just weird.
	The whole vibe was weird.
	And that was the joke, and that's why they got second place.
	If Vladimir Putin in his interview with Tucker Carlson just said, my reason for invading Ukraine was this, and just pulled up this video, he'd be like, perfectly understandable.
	Wrap up.
	I mean, you have to see, when people get dressed like Teletubbies and they reach second position, something's weird, OK?
	Maybe it is about the Teletubby dressing.
	Anyway, here we have the winner of this contest, who I think he dressed like a chicken.
	I haven't seen a chicken that looks like that before.
	Yes.
	The name is Nemo.
	Maybe it's from Finding Nemo.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, let's see also here.
	Got the right color scheme.
	Yeah, so they say here, meet the class of 2024.
	It looks like the cast of RuPaul's Drag Race.
	What's going on?
	Just look at this, okay?
	What they're wearing.
	I mean, Bessa from Albania.
	Average Albanian woman, yeah.
	Okay, yeah.
	Midriff out, tits out, yeah, yeah.
	From Armenia, they have this Lada Niva.
	It sounds like a car.
	Traditional clothing, though.
	Maybe not for her, but for him.
	Yeah, electric fields here.
	Yeah, traditional Australia.
	I mean, I love Australia, but I don't see why Australia is in Europe.
	Why is it in Eurovision?
	Why do they trust an African prince and queen?
	Also, the same applies for many other countries who are in this... The guy from Belgium forgot his top.
	That's a shame.
	I mean... The Austrian is a dominatrix.
	Of course she is!
	Guys, people from Azerbaijan...
	This is like WEF clothing.
	It's close to WEF clothing.
	It's like 1980s sci-fi villain.
	Yeah.
	Isn't it?
	This Belgian called Mousti from Belgium just doesn't wear anything.
	Baby lasagna here from Croatia.
	Baby lasagna?
	Average Croatian, you know, dressed like that.
	Baby lasagna.
	Oh, Denmark.
	Yeah.
	What is going on with Finland down there?
	Like a 90s internet nerd there.
	Stereotype, like a caricature.
	What the hell is Denmark?
	No.
	Stereotypical Estonians.
	I don't know, this seems ultra-progressive.
	It seems funny.
	I mean, the German dude.
	You saw the Ukrainian contest winning by dress like Teletubbies.
	You can't just win this contest with just the most casual dress.
	Average French person.
	Average Georgian person.
	You're an average Irish person.
	Latvia didn't get the memo, did they?
	It's like, you're supposed to send people.
	Also, I want to say the Greek song was basically a sonic cesspit.
	It was just ridiculous.
	She looks like an early 2000s pop star, at least.
	Returned to slightly more traditional things.
	Here we also have the contestant from Israel, Eden Golan, that she was in the center of controversies.
	We'll talk about it in a bit.
	Average Latvian person.
	Scary.
	Yeah.
	Average Lithuanian.
	You know, sartorial advice from Europe.
	Nice haircut from the Dutch there.
	Is that some sort of campaign to scare away the British tourists?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, Spanish people here with weird glasses.
	Teodora Ramonda from Serbia.
	What do you think?
	Is this representative of Serbia?
	I think she's got to be a dress better than that.
	Olly Alexander here.
	Looking surprisingly normal.
	Well, by the standards of other people.
	Yeah.
	You've got someone doing a sort of mock Jamiroquai thing with that hat.
	And also we have this.
	You know, if you want a soritorial combination.
	So we got from Brotherhood of Men and Joni Logan to these images.
	So something has happened.
	What is going on in Spain?
	Well, you know that they've got the most LGBT people in all of Europe as a per capita percentage.
	They've really gone for it there, haven't they?
	I don't know why.
	Because, I mean, I don't know how.
	I mean, Spain is a good country, has a good culture.
	How could this happen?
	It's very British now, these days.
	Right.
	So, obviously, it's very politicized.
	And that is the issue that a lot of people are not seeing.
	And a lot of people do see.
	But the thing is, you know how some People say the personal is the political.
	In this case, maybe these people are also saying the musical is the political.
	And this shows how far-reaching and totalizing wokeness is and progressivism.
	Literally, it leaves nothing untouched, even music.
	I think music is something that people shouldn't politicize as much.
	And it's okay to say that you can like music that is linked with other, let's say, circles.
	For instance, in Greece, one of the best songs has lyrics about Rosa Luxemburg.
	It's one of our best songs.
	It would be tremendously stupid if I said it wasn't.
	So, it's okay.
	It's fine to not politicize everything.
	But apparently, Eurovision has politicized everything.
	And you'll see here, Some of the things that they have said here non-binary finery.
	I think this is a right-wing extremist tweet here because it has the Swedish flag.
	I don't know how they could they could allow this a globalist.
	Swedish flag?
	A Swiss flag, sorry.
	I was going to say, though it does have the rainbow flag.
	It does have the rainbow, it does have... It doesn't have the black flag of Islam though, that's the Swedish flag.
	It has the transgender flag, but it does have the flag of Switzerland.
	So, I was joking before, but it's really weird when in a very globalist institution that literally portrays, let's say, being Loving your country and you know, waving his flag as extremism, that they have the Swiss flag.
	I think that this is a bit weird.
	You can see here, Winard in fancy clothing.
	And let us go to the politicized things here.
	So someone says here, them ending on top five is literally so huge for the non-binary community.
	Really proud of Nemo and Bambi.
	and the heart emoji and the love emoji.
	So obviously this is a, let's say, political statement and the whole organization has been politicized and it is precisely
	Geared to do a sort of really weird thing of saying we need to address historical inequalities or something and we need to represent people from marginalized communities as winners of the competition.
	So that's all it is.
	And we'll talk about it more but here we need to play this clip from the Irish contestant because there was a lot of protest with Israel's participation and a lot of people were saying that Israel is not in the is not in Europe.
	Also Australia and some other places are not in Europe.
	And we have here the Irish contestant, the Bambi Thug, who is having a visceral reaction against this.
	Let's listen to what she says.
	I'm so, I'm so thankful.
	And I just want to say, we are what the Eurovision is.
	The EBU is not what the Eurovision is.
	Fuck the EBU.
	I don't even care anymore.
	Fuck them.
	The thing that makes this contest is the community behind it.
	The love and the power and the support of all of us is what is making change.
	And The world has spoken.
	The queers are coming.
	Non-binary is better for everyone.
	Such a woman though.
	I just can't get over people being like, oh no, I'm so non-binary, I'm so non-binary.
	It's like you're so clearly not something else.
	You're what you were born and it's in everything you do.
	Your mind, your actions, your thoughts, the things you take interest in.
	Go away.
	Look at how silly it is when you have people who are basically dressed like that and being given air time to make claims about stuff and events.
	It's just ridiculous.
	It's like the the most silly the dress, the more you are being promoted.
	You mean you don't take geopolitical talking points from someone dressed like that?
	Well, the issue is that a lot of the people who go to Eurovision, they do.
	It's very weird, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	Right.
	So we are going to have here, you see, this is the contestant from Israel, Eden Golan, who was in the center of a lot of controversies and she was harassed and people were also protesting against it.
	And basically she made some political statements as well about the hostages.
	And she was saying there are still 164 hostages that need to be returned.
	And she used also that platform to make political messages.
	So we'll see here how this translated into action and what happened.
	So we have here Eden Golan defies the protesters.
	Israel's hotly tipped Eurovision star is cheered as well as Buddha.
	She gives strong performance after demonstrators tried to storm the show and yelled shame on you at fans in Gaza protest.
	So you see here, you know, there was all sorts of booing and hurraying for, yeah, you see the, what they were doing.
	Maybe this is like the portal that they had in the, yeah, you were showing before.
	Takes you to the tunnels.
	Portal to the demons in Ireland.
	That's actually how they got to the show.
	That's right.
	Yes.
	Demonic portal.
	Yes.
	Here.
	So she's, you can see here.
	All sorts of stuff from this crazy competition.
	Anyway.
	And we will see here what happened with the points because apparently in this competition there is also vote from the juries and from the public and we will just see here how some people voted.
	It says the non-binary singer scored 365 points with the juries and 226 from the public for a total of 591 points.
	So, the overwhelming majority of the points came from the juries.
	It's more than 60%.
	If the total was 600, 360 would be 60%.
	So, they have more than that with 591 points.
	So they have more than that with 591 points.
	So it's more than 60%.
	And you can see here from other contestants, for instance, Ukraine scored 146 with the juries and 307 points from the public.
	And also here they're talking about Israel that scored 52 points from the professional judges, 323 points from the public, including 12 from UK viewers.
	professional judges, 323 points from the public, including 12 from UK viewers.
	So this is, personally, I think all of that's rigged.
	Well, I think that it's been political for a very long time.
	I can remember watching it as a kid and it being very political because most of Europe doesn't like Britain.
	Britain tends to score poorly and then people vote for their neighbours.
	They basically vote for the countries that they like, irregardless or irrespective of the actual performance of the musician.
	It's more of a popularity contest for which country do you like the most?
	Which country do you like the most?
	I don't know.
	It just seems to me that there's something really weird with the points because I can't understand how someone would vote for it.
	I don't know what possesses someone.
	I just can't understand.
	I can't understand the mentality of why someone would do that.
	I've never met anyone who ever voted in this or cared about it.
	That's the thing I find so strange about Eurovision, because usually for something that's very silly and like is funded by governments, you can use it by someone who likes it.
	But with Eurovision, maybe it's because we're in Britain, but it's just, it's just roundly despised.
	Can you scroll down to the final results, Stelios?
	Let's see where we were.
	We went rock bottom.
	Norway came last there of the top 25 anyway.
	The dominatrix came 24th.
	Yeah.
	Well, what I want to say, though, is that it seems to me that there are two tiers in Wokeness.
	There is Tier 1 and Tier 2.
	And Eurovision is peak Tier 1.
	And what do I mean by that?
	I mean the people who go and listen to it.
	Because all of the messaging it puts forward is, well, we want peace and dignity and let's all be sentimental and we want to liberate people by liberating their dressing code and have a world where all of that is somehow consistent.
	They are the people who think that basically all the groups that are presented as protected groups by progressive politicians and circles are compatible with each other.
	They're not.
	They have radically different ideas of what constitutes peaceful coexistence.
	And the sooner people understand this, the better for the world.
	Tier 2 wokeness is just Machiavellian divide and conquer.
	Politics.
	When people understand... I've said this a lot, but I think it's true, and I'll carry on saying it.
	When all these...
	incompatibilities become understood, that's when you have the progressive politicians and intellectuals coming in, increasing the victimization, doubling down on the idea of the Western world as being increasingly more demonic.
	Meanwhile, they're dressed like demons, and they're screaming, we are coming.
	And that's about it.
	Alright, let's go to the video comments.
	What
	Wait, I didn't catch that.
	What was it, Callum?
	Ah, no idea.
	I think it was .oz or something like that.
	Yeah, I still remember that like it was yesterday.
	It's weird.
	There we are.
	Move on.
	Good luck on your next non-lotus-y adventure, Callum.
	I will always remember you.
	Ubba hubba ogre.
	Nope.
	Bad robo-wifey.
	Go to horny jail.
	So how do you make an AMP?
	hey.
	you Can't ever run into that at Dark Alley.
	Just need a way out.
	Go to the next one.
	It's really sad to see Callum go.
	He has to be the most down-to-earth man on planet Earth and so blunt that it just instantly becomes comical.
	I also think what I really appreciate about Callum is his view on foreign politics and he understands that we don't understand how they think and give us a really good insight whenever something happens in sand countries or Russia.
	I just want to hear Callum's perspective.
	So that's just sad but I hope you'll do well.
	I hope you grow your channel and I wish all the best for Callum.
	We are going to miss you so much.
	Oh thanks.
	I suppose if there is another foreign conflict I'll try and go and see it.
	And that way we don't have to listen to which side is Hitler and which side is Poland.
	I hate that comparison so much.
	Be the change you want to see in the world and start the foreign conflicts.
	Forget about covering them.
	Be there, be the source.
	How many years in the Hague do I get?
	Not if you lose.
	Okay, well if you win, you don't get a present, so that's another lesson.
	It's a good bit of motivation, but no, that's very wholesome.
	I appreciate that, Sophie, and if I ever come to Legoland in Denmark, I'll let it be known.
	We'll do a meal up there.
	Oh, we don't have any more, in which case we'll go on to the written ones instead, so people can write.
	We have a chat thingy.
	There you go.
	I was doing a lot more than going easy on the footballers.
	I was agreeing with them.
	I was saying that it was great.
	go easy on the footballers.
	It's called Blowing Off Steam.
	How else will the modern man put up with a feminist?
	I was doing a lot more than going easy on the footballers.
	I was agreeing with them.
	I was saying that it was great.
	We're off YouTube now.
	So you want to hear some other football chants?
	Oh yeah.
	So we got the Park one, because he's Korean.
	Abba Bajor, he's an African guy.
	Your dad washes elephants and your mum is a whore.
	That simple?
	Great one.
	There was some guy who was posting about how he brought chickens and they were all right and then he was losing the game so they started chanting, your chickens are dead, your chickens are dead.
	That's that one.
	I'm trying to think of what else.
	Now there is the runway run, but I've been told if I... My brother taught me the one about the runway.
	You heard about the one about the runway?
	No, tell me about the one about the runway.
	I got told if I sing it though, I might get into fights.
	It's about the Munich air disaster in which the team got a plane.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It crashed.
	No, I won't sing.
	I won't sing.
	It's all right.
	There are no Germans here.
	They're not Germans who died on the plane.
	Who were they?
	Football team, the English football team.
	I can't remember which one.
	Oh, right.
	So I'm not a football guy.
	But yeah, there's a level of brutality to it that gets out there, which is great.
	Yeah, just type in Munich airs has to football chant.
	You get a lifetime ban if you sing that at football now, so.
	Well, good thing we're not at football then, eh?
	Yeah.
	So Shrepps Laser says, some ideas for our pissy New York City boys to fight back.
	Dress up like leprechauns hoarding gold, gloat about your wealth of non-belighted potatoes, and for the finale, pretend to be drunkenly beating your wife.
	Yeah, so if there are any shitposts in New York City, one of you has to dress up like a wife.
	It's for the greater good.
	Baron Von Warhawk says, honestly speaking, if I would be offered... If... What?
	Honestly speaking, I would be offended if there weren't some drunken Irish moon men... I can't read today.
	Some drunken Irish men mooning the audience and discussing 9-11.
	It warms my heart to see at least one European country keeping its traditional culture.
	Yes, being a cunt is a culture.
	General Pei Ping says, silly Callum, you can brand the opening of the Hell Portal as family-friendly just by having a few dancing homosexuals around it.
	Yes, they will try.
	That in the business is called foreshadowing.
	Don't do that, shitposters.
	You're above that.
	Beat your wife instead.
	Comedically and for the dramatic effect only on a stage or portals, not in real life.
	Right.
	Well, not those people.
	Alex Ogle says, this portal is a lesson of how history happens.
	I wonder how many wars have started because one person is going too far offending others without realizing it.
	An original event is not seen by the others who don't understand the context and only see the reaction.
	The reaction of that is amplified.
	This would explain so much of history and why it's so difficult to imagine.
	The Viking invasion actually started in Britain when we said in our portal, your mountains are shit, to the Norwegians and then they invaded and pillaged our lands.
	That's what happened, historically.
	Do you know about the bottle?
	The whole Yugoslav Wars is rumoured to have started because I think it was either a Serbian or an Albanian shoved a bottle up his ass.
	I do know about this, yeah.
	And then went to the doctors and they were like, how did you do this?
	And he wouldn't say he shoved it up his own ass.
	He was like, oh yeah, the other group did it to me.
	They beat me up and shoved the bottle in my ass.
	And it just escalated from there.
	Have you ever been so horny that you started a war?
	That man did.
	Apparently it's real as well, that's the thing.
	Yeah, it's a real story, yeah.
	They have the name of the guy and everything.
	So you have to wear a sign wherever he goes.
	I'm sorry for the war.
	They call me the bottle man.
	Yeah, that man is actually going to horny jail.
	Right, so Mr. Waldekirch says, we had the portal thing in Lithuania for a couple of years with Poland.
	Somewhere, and weirdly, it was very wholesome.
	Anglos do have some of the best bands.
	P.S.
	Did not see you mentioned it.
	Oops, well, there we are.
	Bleach Demon says, as an American, I now want to visit Dublin and abuse New Yorkers more than I usually do.
	Yes.
	What a holiday, love.
	Where are we going?
	We're going to Ireland.
	She's like, oh my god, I always wanted to go.
	Yes, and so did I five minutes ago.
	Now we're going.
	I want to abuse New Yorkers.
	You can just say, you do realize that having rats and dirt on your street and pizza isn't a culture.
	What's a typical last New York name?
	name.
	Because if we can get it to rhyme with rats, then we can do the...
	Cats.
	What?
	Typical New York name.
	Mr. Cats.
	K-A-T-Z.
	What?
	You got Brooklyn, right?
	You said you wanted something to rhyme with rats?
	Katz is a name?
	Yeah, it's a real name.
	It's like a stereotypical Jewish second name.
	Is it?
	Yeah.
	Katz.
	Yeah, K-A-T-Z.
	I thought they were all Bergs and Steins, is that...?
	It ends in a Z as well.
	There you go.
	More you know.
	Omar Awad says, well it's almost like projects and policies don't transfer one-to-one between cultures.
	13% of the portals cause 50% of the banter.
	They do indeed.
	13% of the Anglos create 50% of the banter.
	Have you ever seen it?
	I think it was the old guy... So 4chan used to be owned by a guy called Moo and now it's owned by some Japanese fella.
	And I can't remember which one of them said it, but they were joined 4chan for a bit to post.
	And someone asked them, what's the worst thing about managing 4chan?
	And they said the worst thing is Australians.
	Because they're just horrific.
	Just horrific individuals online.
	I'm proud of you.
	Michael says, as an American, yeah, American sports culture is kind of low-T and... It's kind of high-T, low-IQ cringe.
	I don't know what to make of it, because I've seen... So I've seen the bills.
	Buffalo Bills, and the city of Buffalo is obsessed with the Bills in a way that's very unique, apparently.
	Which is weird, because they're very mid.
	Like, they're just not the best team.
	That doesn't even offend the Buffalo Bills, that's just what it is.
	They call themselves the Bills Mafia.
	They're very, very patriotic about it.
	Like, there was a training day, the team was just gonna train, and it snowed, because it's in the north, and the members of the fans went round the homes of the players and dug out their driveway so they could get to training.
	That's very diehard.
	It'll be like snowing minus 20 and they'll be out at the game with their shirts off just to show how manly they are.
	Like that's sort of interesting and unique and cool, but it's just the energy of the chance doesn't exist.
	It turns out they don't really have rivalries either apparently.
	I've come up with a football chant talking about cats and rats in New York, if you want.
	Oh, that's what you've been doing, alright.
	I think that's what's been whirring through my head.
	Another poetry reading before we move on to the next section.
	Got it?
	Slow-mo cats, slow-mo cats, digging through New York, tunneling with the rats.
	It's my foray into the world of football chants.
	Let's go to the next section on the third worldisms.
	There's lots to read.
	Oh yeah, that's me, isn't it?
	Uh, da da da da.
	Oh yes, uh, Sean gave us $10, said, uh, often the poor pick up the butts from the ground and then cut them up and roll them up for cigs and raid ashtrays just, uh, watch the homeless.
	That's very true, I've seen it happen in person and, uh, Yeah, I don't think that's necessarily a third-worldism because our native poor do that as well, which is why I didn't include it.
	But yeah, it's one of those things where you just know, okay, this person perhaps isn't all that put together right.
	So, O-P-H-U-K, I'm not going to read that out, I know what it's meant to sound like.
	Honey, can you swing by the pet store and pick up 40 guinea pigs?
	I feel like Peruvian tonight.
	I'm glad you picked up on that, because yes, they do eat guinea pigs in Peru, and probably Ecuador as well, so it makes a bit more sense that he was eating a guinea pig, that is kind of what they're bred for, is that.
	Sean again with another $10, thank you.
	You are aware the Marine who stopped the mugging on the New York subway got 30 years, the man in Toronto got 10 years, yes.
	BS right isn't it?
	That trying to stop people from committing crime gets you prison time.
	It shouldn't happen.
	The criminals are not the victims here and they deserved what they got.
	Okay, a migrant stole and ate one of our town's swans and stole her signets.
	The swan pair has been in our town for 20 years.
	They were given a slap on the wrist and released.
	That was someone online.
	I actually forgot to mention that.
	I was going to include that, that they ate some swans and I forgot that that even happened because it's such a horrendous thing that you're making faces.
	It's criminal, isn't it?
	Well, it is a crime, yeah.
	It's not just a crime, it's criminal.
	You're a villain if you eat a swan.
	It's immoral, yes.
	I think probably just from a British aspect, it's like a cultural offence, not just a criminal offence.
	It belonged to the Queen, and now the King.
	Also, the horrible You know, by disposition, they're basically just fancy geese, aren't they?
	Chase Bull says, the white pill in this section is the normies are beginning to notice, which is impossible to ignore.
	That's true, yes.
	Very ordinary people are pointing out third world-isms that they never saw before, and because immigration is accelerating so quickly, it is impossible to ignore now.
	Everyone's going to know about it.
	It's going to be a household thing.
	What does swan taste like?
	Probably tastes like goose I imagine.
	Annie Moss says in America we have food and restaurant inspectors to decrease fur dwellers from passing off pigeons as chicken and blow torching chickens out the back.
	Is this not a thing in England?
	No it is a thing in England and in fact there was a butcher's in Swindon known as Kenya Butchers which had enough rat feces in it to open up a rat feces shop and they got closed down very quickly.
	I wonder why?
	I know, it smelled from the street.
	You could smell how bad it was just walking past it.
	So you knew that there was something wrong.
	And actually the state did something.
	It did, yeah.
	It's one of the few state actions I actually agree with, Stelios, is enforcing food standards.
	My goodness, if you get a libertarian saying the government needs to be involved, you know you've got something wrong.
	When the food store smells like a pet store.
	It's not worse than a pet store.
	There's something wrong, yeah.
	I'm pretty sure there are nicer smelling sewers than that shop.
	Bleach Demon says, I have to ask, was the guy on the camel really a Deliveroo?
	I don't think so.
	I think they're actually filming a rap video.
	Imagine ordering Deliveroo and like a cowboy shows up with his horse and everything and he's like, partner!
	If I ordered, you know, like Middle Eastern food and a guy turns up on a carpet, I'm going to be pretty chuffed.
	Just like, well, I know this is the real deal.
	I don't tip, but you'll get a tip.
	Do you want to borrow my rug for a bit or something?
	I don't know.
	I've got a Turkish rug.
	I don't know whether it would work.
	What part of the Middle East do you have to be from for your carpet to float?
	You might know, Stelios.
	Saudi.
	Okay.
	Matthew Taylor says, the chickens have been imperfectly industrial machine plucked.
	So the easiest way to remove the stubborn remaining short feathers and stubble is with a blowtorch.
	They'll take them back inside in the restaurant to actually cook them.
	Okay, fair enough.
	It did look a bit grim.
	Fair enough, no.
	No, it looked very grim.
	It's a health care violation.
	Yeah.
	Daniel Butchers had Indian street food that looks more hygienic than that chicken.
	Arizona Desert Rat says, hmm, sounds like sheep farmers need to invest in livestock guard dogs.
	They can weigh up to 175 pounds and work very well as a group.
	And everyone knows Muslims love dogs.
	Warlord wooed to Guy.
	Bloody hell, Josh is coming out swinging with this episode.
	Did I?
	I thought I was pretty tame, actually.
	I could have said a lot worse than that.
	Supreme Duck, I was in Peru and tasted guinea pig, it tastes like regret.
	Okay, that's good to know.
	Umar Awad says, oh wow, new trolley problem just dropped, do you return the trolley or barbecue meat on it?
	Although there's nothing inherently wrong with it, you know, you aren't being hygienic by the nature of not using the proper tools or utensils.
	I like that.
	We should put that one on the citizenship test.
	Baron Von Warhawk says, in the old days, in order for a migrant to become a US citizen, they had to have an understanding of US history and politics and be able to speak English.
	I propose that from now on, knowing what a toilet is and how to use it is mandatory for citizenship.
	I agree!
	I mean, at least they were urinating in cups in New York.
	That's something.
	That's more considerate than actual native New Yorkers, I imagine.
	I want to say something because I want to troll myself a bit, but I think you think my Sneezing is a third-world-ism.
	Stelios has the loudest sneeze of any human being I've ever heard, ever.
	It's like ships at night when there's fog can find their way home from the sound of Stelios' sneeze.
	You know, people in Australia jump when Stelios sneezes.
	Yeah, but it's an issue of lungs.
	You know, if you have such a loud sneeze and you close your mouth, all the air comes back and vibrates your lungs.
	And that's not good.
	I've got a cold at the minute.
	I've been doing a lot of sneezing.
	None of them is loud.
	I'm a big guy as well.
	I've got Bane in the corner here.
	Right.
	Okay.
	Sneezing in the darkness before he was nearly a man.
	There you go, sorry.
	Obligatory, isn't it?
	OK.
	Eurovision has fallen.
	Comment by Lars Peter Simonsen.
	I have never been so happy that I only stream the audio as I am today.
	It sounded like case for bleach washing your eyes in all the segments.
	I don't think it was.
	So maybe you need to check them and watch.
	Just listening is half the experience.
	Definitely give that a watch.
	It's a multi-sensory experience watching Lotuses, isn't it?
	That Texas gal says, Taylor says, love gives me life.
	Thank you.
	And I'll try to laugh more.
	It gives me trauma.
	I know that when that laugh comes, something is going to hit my inbox in the office.
	It's incoming.
	Your radar has spotted it.
	At some point, there's going to be a strike.
	Stelios missile of urban scholars doing scholarly things.
	Twerking video coming your way.
	The number of naked black women I've seen, thanks to Stelios, is at least in double digits at this point.
	To be fair, you're a good student.
	I am, yeah.
	You're a good student.
	I sent you on today, didn't I?
	Yeah, not just one.
	Alexander Dake, I'm queer and a witch.
	The Salem witch trials did nothing wrong.
	Very true.
	Bleach Demon.
	From the Irish Eurovision competitor, we can clearly confirm that there is an open portal to hell.
	Interestingly, hell has a Brooklyn accent.
	Yeah, I did wonder about her accent, because it sounded Irish in parts, but sometimes it sounded very American, didn't it?
	Did you notice that?
	Could be a plastic paddy.
	There's plenty of them.
	Return to the motherland.
	Henry Ashman, as no one votes for us when we try Britain, might as well just send the North FC male voice Quark, which is just a band of football lads chanting.
	If we send over the Barrys, they're going to be really traumatised because they're the kind of people that go over there and sort of turn up like walruses on the beach, bloat out, drink lager and sort of act Almost intimidatingly to locals.
	That big belly and red torso scares the Mediterraneans.
	I think Henry has a lovely idea here because that would be absolutely hilarious to watch.
	I always thought it'd be nice to just hire Al Murray and then make a song that is just a stand-up set roasting every other competitor's country.
	Yeah, but if North FC people went there, the others would scream, this is so bad, it harms my feelings, it's harmful.
	So they'd steal the show, is what you're saying?
	Yeah, and have you heard when, you know, the woke people are saying, you know, the Western man's gaze is intimidating and it makes people's psycho-delicate sentimentality... The Western man's gaze takes on a whole different meaning.
	It's not eyesight anymore, it's very different.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm talking with G-A-Z-E.
	And imagine the people in Eurovision, how they were going to feel with a North FC gaze, with an A-Z-E.
	Right.
	Millwall often sing like, nobody likes us and we don't care.
	Or we could go with Vindaloo Brexit remix.
	Featuring Nigel Farage.
	Right.
	Galacta Watkins.
	I've hate-watched Eurovision for years.
	Truly the best European election simulator.
	It's always been very gay in the old-fashioned euro trash sense, but this year the alphabet ideology really got hammered home.
	I also always will for the UK to lose or have some embarrassment like zero points, as I find it incredible that we actually pay cash to go through, just so all of Europe can show their disdain for us every year.
	Top quality entertainment.
	I mean, sorry, getting zero points in that contest would be a badge of honor.
	It would, just come on.
	It would be a badge of honour.
	I've got a new football chant as well.
	It's a horrible one.
	Adebayor, Adebayor, three died in Angola, it should have been four.
	Yeah, that's a classic.
	Sophie Liv says, Eurovision is honestly just another high elite gay parade at this point.
	Sophie Liv again, the best year was 2000 where Denmark won and it was just two old white dudes with guitars, like God intended.
	It was a really nice song, though.
	We still play it regularly here because it's really nice.
	You know, you have 11th Commandment.
	That shall not wear a weird dress in Eurovision.
	I missed that one.
	Dirty Delta.
	When was the last time that Eurovision was good?
	I never watched it, so I wouldn't know.
	The question is not whether it was good.
	The question is whether it can get worse.
	And I feel that it can.
	I also think that next year is going to be worse.
	I've got another football chant.
	This is from Swindon fans to Oxford after an Oxford player died and they said, who's that wrapped around a lamppost?
	Who's that bleeding from the head?
	It's Martin Aldridge and his mate and they look, oh that's a mouthful, and his mate and they look an effing state because they used to play for Oxford and now they're dead.
	That doesn't even rhyme!
	But there we go.
	I should have read it before I read it out on a podcast.
	It is poetry though.
	Right.
	And Ruth Avoid, today on The Gay Vision, is the diversity rioting against the polyethylene clad, they, thems, or the Jews?
	Tune in to find out.
	Okay.
	And Omar Awad, I don't know what they put in the water at New Year, but first the tunnel Jews and now the dancing Israelis tweet.
	Whatever it was, was powerfully anti-Semitic.
	And we're out of comments.
	So if you'd like more... They're putting anti-Semitism in the water.
	What?
	Sorry.
	Carry on.
	That's just it, really.
	We're done.

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