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April 25, 2024 - The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters
01:31:09
The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters #901
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Hello and welcome to the podcast, The Lotus Eaters, and today I'm joined by Josh.
Hello there.
It's just us today.
Yes.
Also, Scotty does not know.
But today we'll be talking about the Food Bank War, the German Fourth Reich, and how fun is needed.
Complicated subject.
Fun?
In this podcast?
Who do you think you are, man?
The fun?
The fun enjoyer.
Fun in this room?
Never.
We're not allowed fun in here.
I don't know where we're going with this bit.
It's ad-libbing, Callum.
So we've got an announcement to make.
Well, I have two announcements.
First and foremost, the most important, Father Kelvin is slightly late, so he will be doing his show at 4pm UK time rather than 3pm UK time.
So if you wish to finish this and then watch him, you just, you know, wash your hands for a bit longer than usual and you'll be back.
What, for an hour?
I have no skin left.
I don't know, what did...
The grass!
Whatever you need to do.
So, we also have another announcement to make, which is that there's some jobs.
If you go to the Careers page on LotusEars.com, you can see there's a job here.
That's on the screen.
Production Manager.
That's not the only job.
There are more jobs there.
I have to read something out.
It says, we are looking for people with skills in videography, audio, and editing available to work in the London or Swindon Area.
It doesn't say area.
But one can presume that's what it means.
If you're interested in the full job specs, available at lotussears.com slash careers.
So there we are.
It's not just any London, it's the London.
The London or Swindon.
The official Swindon.
As opposed to the, you know, the fake pretender Swindon.
I'm going to check actually, I bet there's a Swindon in the United States.
Swindon USA.
It's probably better than here, that's for sure.
No.
Wow.
There's not.
So apparently Swindon is so shit they decided to go to the New World and not name anything after it.
It's funny, there are even like small rural Devonshire villages that have equivalents in America.
Like Swindon?
No.
Well, even back then.
Wise move.
Well, I suppose we'll get into the news, shall we?
If we must.
I was quite enjoying shitting on Swindon.
Well, there's a war going on.
Not the gay and boring ones in, like, foreign lands.
Instead, there are ones at home where we must fight and keep the coal fires burning for.
The Food Bank Wars.
Ooh.
Yeah, it's pretty sad, actually.
People throwing, you know, like in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, cans of food in people's faces.
You've seen that film, right?
I don't know, I got so bored watching that.
Really?
I quite enjoyed it.
It's a bit silly, but I enjoyed it for what it was.
I hated that movie, I'll be honest.
One of my parents, none of us understood what it was about, we just got bored.
You don't know the Manson Family Murders?
Not really.
Yeah, this is what happens when you come out with my family.
There we are.
So, we'll mention that the Food Bank Wars is a thing.
Here you are.
This is a lady who decided to tweet this out.
It's a video of an Indian man who decides that he's had enough of paying for food and wants it for free.
It says here this guy's got a job as a bank data scientist for a Canadian company, a position that averages around 98,000 US dollars a year.
It'd be Canadian dollars, wouldn't it?
Yes, it would be.
And proudly uploaded this video showing him getting free food from food banks, which I suppose it is free.
Callum, I think I found a new method for you to save money here.
You did that segment where you're saying, buy cheap Iceland ready meals and McDonalds, which you definitely weren't paid by either of those companies to say.
Probably not.
But if you tried not paying for them, just take them.
Iceland's got plenty of things.
It's not even stealing, if you go to a food bank.
I still think it is.
Well, they're giving it away for free, aren't they?
I suppose so.
It's like when you go to Freshers' Farron, you just steal all the pot noodles and rubbers and pencils from everyone.
You do that, right?
Well, we weren't given any pot noodles.
They're handing out condoms, though.
Oh.
Different schools.
Yeah.
So, anyway, back to the food banks!
There's this guy.
Let's listen to him.
This is how I save hundreds of bucks every month in food and groceries.
All these groceries for this week, I got free.
This is for everyone, all the students.
They even have hot food at our university.
Here, most of the universities and colleges have food banks which are run by trusts, churches, or non-profit organizations.
Let me show you what I got this week.
I just don't know how someone can have a mindset like this.
vegetables, bread, sauces, pastas, and canned vegetables, which is subject to availability.
This has been very helpful to me as a student.
Check with your seniors or university websites and you'll get the location of the food banks.
I just don't know how someone can have a mindset like this.
I know.
Well, he's talking as if he's a student and it looks like he's got like a sports team on, I I don't know enough about whatever sports team that is to know whether it's like a university team or what.
I think that's the university, but either way, don't steal from food banks.
Is this controversial?
Is this up for debate?
Well, a bit of competition never hurt anyone, Callum.
What, competition with the poor?
Let's make them fight for their food banks.
We'll take it off them because we've got jobs.
Then only the strong poor will survive.
No, I'm being silly, of course.
But as mentioned here, he's got a job.
I mean, this lady's mentioning, he works for this Canadian company and the position he's at averages $98,000.
But let's say it's even just $70,000, whatever.
You still don't need to be stealing from food banks.
No.
The idea is that it's a means of people donating food or money to people who are struggling, normally with a large family that they can't afford to pay for on their own, which, you know, still their fault, but, you know, at least a bit more forgivable than just Indian man wants free stuff.
Yeah, thickening the accent, just taking things, why?
Because they give it out for free, it turns out.
To his credit, though, a lot of it was, you know, European food, so...
on that.
That's alright then, isn't it?
Well, he's learning.
No, but that tells you it's Europeans donating the food and then this Indian guy is just stealing it and is then being like, guys, free food, not clickbait, click now.
It's just like, have you tried stealing?
That's his advice.
Well, the people of San Francisco are already following his advice whether they know about this video or not.
True.
Someone mentioned in here the shame, which is what you need to have food banks to work, which is shameful to do it, which is horrible if you need the food because you feel shame, but it keeps other people taking the piss like this.
That's the whole reason for that culture.
But also, if someone were giving me free food, I wouldn't feel that much shame.
No, but if you need to rely on food banks, the complaint is that it's a bit horrible that you have to have a feeling of shame if you're on the job centre or whatever else.
But the reason that exists, the reason that's necessary is to keep out people who just take the piss and hope that shame would keep them from not taking the piss.
But someone made this brilliant comment underneath where they said, shame requires introspection, which...
Just saying.
I don't think this guy has.
He didn't make any sort of justification for why he's getting all this free food.
He didn't say, oh well, you know, it's free for everyone.
In that sort of sense of, you know, it's not just for those who need it.
No, but let's move on because what was funny is that I saw in here, we'll skip over that for a moment, but the vast majority of the quote tweets in here I went through, there's a big difference.
There's a lot of people saying that whenever I used to go to a food bank, overwhelmingly it's Indians, just saying, people saying that.
And then there's a lot of other people who are Indian, like I think this guy's actually an Indian guy, who are like, this guy makes India look bad, like what's wrong with you?
So that's the two responses.
I find it funny that there's a sort of culture in India of just being so tight-fisted that you'll take advantage of free food that's not intended for you.
That's almost rivaling, you know, the Scots for being tight-fisted.
I'm allowed to say that.
But I just also am confused because the complaint from the Indians who are retweeting this being like, well, this is, you know, awful.
How could you do that?
The complaint is that he's making India look bad.
Less so that it's wrong to do it.
I'm sure all those videos of their train services and public hygiene are, you know, such good PR for India.
Weird.
Weird release.
But the news being, in response, this guy got fired because the Canadian company found out and were like, Yes.
Food bank bandit.
The food bank bandit should not... We don't wish to employ that person anymore, actually.
That's really quite an evil thing to do.
But what was funny is I thought this isn't really a point of discussion.
This isn't a debate.
This is just... What?
Yeah, don't steal from food banks.
The hell's wrong with you?
Nevertheless, if you're a foreigner, just taking advantage of a nation's charity, You mean to say foreign people actually are taking advantage of the goodwill of the native populations?
That's unheard of.
Yeah.
That never happens.
But then there's these people.
So this blew up, this response to it.
They're saying, you know, bitch got the poor guy fired.
Poor guy?
He's not poor.
He's richer than me.
I don't know what kind of visa he has, but there's a high chance he gets deported if he's unable to find a job soon.
Good?
Go away!
Like, you shouldn't be stealing from charities.
Imagine getting your life ruined because you wanted to help other Indian immigrants with groceries.
The funny thing is... Help them.
Help them steal food from charities.
Implicit in this as well is if he goes back to India, his life is ruined.
What a condemnation of India.
Oh man.
Truly would be over.
Not coming back from that.
But that's the thing.
I can't get over it.
This is real.
There's 7 million views and 7,000 people liking this.
I don't know why we have to share society with such people, but apparently we do.
I love Drodka.
Maybe don't steal.
Just saying.
But he wasn't stealing.
It was there for free, Callum.
Didn't you know?
The ducks are free.
Just take them.
I can't get over that mindset.
Like, that's a joke in the Anglosphere, but apparently that's not a joke in the... What do they call it now?
The Global South.
Mm-hmm.
Politically correct term.
Because, of course, wouldn't want to say they're, you know, savages or anything.
But moving on... Sandwiches.
Well, we'll go to a response to this, because I saw Dhrutka... For people who don't know, Dhrutka is this weird British account, which I'm in love with, and he posted about this.
It turns out there's a Indian cyber defense force out there, who are there to defend the honor of India whenever it is smeared by video evidence.
Smear is a good use of that word, yeah.
Sorry, lowering the tone.
He puts here, posts about Indian students stealing food from food banks by people like that account, and I apparently upset some very vindictive Indian users for being anti-Indian.
They're so upset that they're coordinating in chats like the Indian Cyber Defenders Telegram group for mass reporting and doxing of any account that Well, let me tell you that British people can't be anti-India because we created India.
Didn't exist before us, right?
I mean, true.
And I know there are going to be Indians being like, well, you know, there were these provinces and that provinces in this kingdom, that kingdom.
It's like, yeah, but there wasn't an India in India, was there?
Anyway, but I'll read some of this because this is weird.
Like just the weird kind of human beings who do such a thing.
So this in this group chat.
Posts about in, sorry sorry, listen everyone, this panga sia, which apparently means clown in Urdu, so whatever, so this clown has crosses the limit now.
Why are they using Urdu as well?
I don't know, why are they writing in broken English?
Like either speak your native language or just don't, I don't understand.
It's like, it's like Hispanic people in like TV shows and films where they they drop in random sort of Spanish phrases just so you know that they're Spanish.
Like the German guy in a movie who just, for some reason, has learned perfect English with a German accent, but then still says the word yes as ja.
Okay.
That close enough.
Yeah.
But anyway, they say she's got an Indian fight just because he took some food from a food bank during his college days.
This clown needs to feel pain in real life.
Reporting and suspending.
Suspending has to be done, obviously, but it isn't enough.
Get in touch with Gems of White, whoever that is, because he knows things about her.
Tell him to join here.
Bitch needs to be shown her place.
For daring to be like, maybe don't steal from a food bank.
Like, what the hell's the matter with you?
You're getting paid good money.
You're working for a data science company.
I also like how Darth Vader is in the chat as well.
Vader there.
Maybe he's just a Dutch guy.
He's a father.
But they're apparently also trying to get AI images banned of Indians.
So if you scroll down on this, there's them figuring out there's a spy in the chat.
Didn't manage to get Drodka.
But then they're also finding AI images, which are jokes about India, of course.
They are what they are.
And they're mass reporting them.
So it turns out there is actually an Indian defense force on the internet that will get you banned.
To be fair, if it ever gets to the point of going to the people who are going through social media or calling up on the phone, the Indians have already got that covered.
It's like, there are guys!
And if you call up the help centre to get unbanned, too bad.
What did you do?
Anti-Indian?
I think you're going to remain banned, sir.
Sorry about that.
We're not redeemed!
This isn't the only case of Indian gaming of the system that blew up recently.
Also this one, I mentioned earlier.
So this is Bragg Nationalist.
In the UK, Indians are producing TikTok videos providing how-to's for new immigrants to claim hundreds of pounds of disability money a month for snoring.
If you're snoring, apparently you can claim disability money.
I snore.
If you rig the system.
Oh, well, I want a tax rebate.
This is actually quite the revelation.
Let's learn, shall we?
You have been doing £518 per month in the UK government.
£518 per month?
Do I want to listen to the Bible?
No, shut up, I want to pay attention to this.
pay attention to this.
I need a doctor's diagnosis.
So yes, if you convince a doctor to basically lie and be like, oh man, I'm sleeping real rough, I've got sleep apnea, because you're snoring, you can lie and then for steal money from the government.
And this dude is putting that on TikTok.
Sorry?
Oh, most doctors are Indian, John's chiming in with that, so that's a whole other discussion.
But yeah, no, what I can't get over is both of these are not human beings who are rigging the system.
Like, we're well aware that there are people who take advantage of the system, especially foreigners in any given country, because, well, you have no ties to the land, you have no shame.
If you get caught, what happens?
You get sent home.
Hoo-hoo.
It's pretty, you know, normal in that aspect.
But the fact that they're putting it on social media and not caring, that's the bit that gets me.
Well, they don't comprehend that what they're doing is immoral.
They just can't conceive of the notion that British people might take exception to this.
I mean, this one here is just fraud as well.
I mean, it's also illegal.
I mean, stealing from a food bank, I guess you can't go to prison, but you sort of should get some flogging, I feel.
You should get put in the stocks and have rotten food thrown at you in a sort of ironic punishment.
The people who get the food from the food bank were like, we can't give that to you.
We've got to use that to punish the wrongdoers.
But yeah, no, the fact that they're uploading it, they literally don't have any moral compass whatsoever.
I mean, I remember when social media became a thing.
Did I ever tell you the story about the girls from my school that stole a bus?
No.
That was such a Carl Pilkington, like... No, you've got to tell me now.
So we used to go to the bus stop every day and get the bus with these girls from my town and we go to school, right?
Mini bus to work, not work, school.
And these two girls were older than me, they were bigger girls.
And one day they decided to go to Salisbury, and they were I presume a bit pissed, and it was like one in the morning.
And it turns out the buses are free, you can just take them.
There's no keys.
So you just press a button to turn them on?
So they just pulled open the doors, walked in, got the bus, and then drove it across the county back to the hometown, and then drove it into a building.
A building site that was still building Archer's Gate at that point.
They just drove it into a wall.
They drove it into a wall?
Yeah.
Real dumb.
Don't know why they did this.
But that's dumb enough.
That's crime.
The thing that was funny is they filmed it and then put it on YouTube.
Because they got done, but then they couldn't prove it was them.
But then they found out they put it on YouTube and obviously they're filming their faces and them stealing a bus.
It's like, wouldn't it be terrible if someone filmed myself committing these crimes?
Oh wait, that's me.
Yeah.
Like, they must have understood that stealing a bus was wrong, and they still filmed it, and still put it out on the internet.
I mean, they were 15, 16, so you can make the argument that, like, well, they're kind of kids, so they're stupid, right?
But even when I was, like, 8, I would have known better than that.
Not to steal a bus.
Yeah.
Remember those adverts?
You wouldn't steal a bus.
You wouldn't download a bus.
But these guys, these are grown men.
These are grown men who have no excuse.
They don't care, apparently.
But there we are.
But I'll end this story off with something else, which is that it seems to be the case that quite a lot of Indians are heading home.
Just more Indian news.
The Indian forecast.
There's going to be a light spattering of Indians in India.
Literally, there is actually a large movement of Indians across the hemisphere, from Canada all the way back to Punjab.
Which is real.
This is the BBC.
So they're leaving.
Yeah, so this is the BBC reporting on Canadians.
Sorry, Indians have gone to Canada, moving back to India because the Canadian dream isn't working.
You also need to be careful because they're not Native American Indians.
They're Indian Indians.
They use Indian, Injun.
Big difference.
Anyway, so they say here in the article, the Indian dream is over.
You can no longer mass migrate to Canada.
That is the Indian trio.
Hang on one second, can we take a minute to admire that guy's moustache?
I suppose so.
One thing I've got to credit the Indians with is they're keeping the flame of the moustache alive and I can't pull off a moustache, I look like a sex offender if I grow a moustache out.
That's why you should grow one!
No!
It'd be funny!
People would be like crossing the street when I'm walking past.
It'd be terrible.
Oh no.
Making everyone uncomfortable.
The homeless will be weirded out by me and won't walk next to me.
No.
You live in Swindon, man.
That's true.
I need a homeless deterrent, don't I?
So they say here that they can't migrate to Canada anymore.
It's hard to miss the adornment in Punjab of migrant ambitions when driving through its rural, fertile plains, this author writes.
Billboards promising easy immigration to Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the UK are throughout ample musty fields.
Off the highways, consultancies offer English coaching to eager youths.
Single-story brick homes double up as canvases for hand-painted murals advertising promising quick visas.
By the way, I have a story related to this.
In my block of flats in Swindon, I could hear someone learning English on Duolingo in Indian, but they were playing it out of their home hi-fi system, so it was blasting!
Good morning!
I could hear every word, but they were really basic phrases, and I was just like, you've got a flat here, you don't even know how to say, hello, how are you?
But it's a real thing, because I remember when I went to that mass, I think it's what, 100% Indian area of London, they had advertisements of, like, how to get your visas done and whatnot.
You don't see that in rural England.
You don't see, like, visa services to going to Switzerland.
Well, in central Swindon, there's an immigration lawyer right in the town centre, around the corner from the former migrant hotel.
But in this case, like she's talking about, she's traveling, or he, I don't know, rural Punjab.
And in rural Punjab, there's just hand-painted mural advertisements for, come and get your visa, we'll send you to the UK, Australia, Canada, or whatever, right?
That's just weird.
That's just another world, if nothing else.
But they say that it's drying up.
Hundreds of agents jostle for space in the narrow streets, pledging to speed up youth's runaway dreams.
But some, especially from Canada, are now choosing to travel back home.
Quote, everything was so expensive.
I had to work 50 hours every week after college just to survive, he told the BBC.
One of the people they're interviewing.
High inflation is making students leave their studies.
I have a good life here in India.
Why should I face hardship there when I can survive at home and make good money?
And then they say they spoke to a half a dozen other people in this area and all of them were like that.
They went over to Canada and then realized, God damn, it's expensive.
Inflation is high and this is a pain in the ass to live.
And I've all gone back to India.
You know your country's bad when You know, people from India just like, you know what?
Your currency is worthless.
Basically.
Give me some rupees.
But also like a very base sentiment to be honest.
I actually quite like, it's good advice.
Why would you leave your homelands to go and face a lot of hardship elsewhere?
Like if you're, if you can live at home happy, do it.
If you're going to be in poverty, you may as well be at home.
Yeah, sincerely.
Like why would you move to go to the big city and still live like crap?
It's just not a good offer.
I'm contemplating my life choices now, Calum.
As Swindon mentioned.
But sadly, not everyone is so reasonable.
And this is the big story for me that blew it up, is that I saw this.
There's a sharp rise in Indians detained at the US-Canada border.
30,000 Indian nationals were apprehended at the northern border in 2023.
So, there's been a mass immigration of Indians to Canada, okay?
Because of these visa services, Canada having more open borders than they should, and people trying to leave India en masse, they're all going to Canada.
And then they got there, found out Canada is really hard to live in, and are now breaking into the United States.
No, do not invade, sir!
But like, the northern US border has never been something of note.
I mean, when have they ever had to worry about that, ever?
All those Canadians sneaking into the US, yeah.
Doesn't really happen, does it?
It's the southern border that's the problem.
It's also a really fun history, like up until 9-11, the US-Canadian border, you could hop across it, it's fine, whatever, like I've heard all these stories, and now they have to implement it properly because of 9-11 and since that.
But now they actually have to even care about it, because of course it was kind of a joke, where it's like, oh man, Canadians might be coming over to eat food, that'd be terrible.
But now, no, you actually have a mass migration problem with Indians from Canada.
Okie dokie!
That was 2,200 people breaking illegally two years ago.
Now it's 30,000.
That's massive.
Huge.
Okay, well, enjoy that future too.
I thought we'd just check in on the southern border.
Of course, that being the worst one.
It's now gone up to 8 million people have broken in.
How on earth can anyone, any country in the world cope with that influx of people?
That's now the 11th most populous state in the Union.
As in the illegals are the 11th most populous state.
Biden's migrants make up the 11th most populous state in the United States.
They're turning the entire country into a right state, aren't they?
Yeah.
But anyway, maybe it'll explode with the Canadian border and you'll have a new Canadian state as well.
But there we are.
That's the Food Bank Wars, which is just horrific.
Just awful, if nothing else.
It is, yeah.
Let's move on to something good!
The Fourth Reich!
Yes, we don't often cover German politics, and I thought it'd be nice to talk about it, because a lot has been going on, I think, in Germany, and there's actually quite an interesting trend here.
So I know we do have a dedicated German audience, so Guten Tag!
What are you laughing at?
They're very dedicated.
They're very orderly.
They come up and turn on time and watch the show.
You can credit the Germans for being orderly, yes.
But I wanted to focus particularly on the AFD, because I think this is the most interesting phenomenon in German politics, other than the collapse of the Greens, and that's obvious because their suicidal energy policy has been world-renowned, hasn't it?
The Green Party were quite popular, and they implemented lots of policies that Weren't particularly helpful for being able to power your country, which is pretty important.
And so they've plummeted and the AFD have risen.
And this is amongst 14 to 29 year olds.
So young people are actually becoming less left-wing and more right-wing in Germany.
I haven't done German in a while.
Can you explain to me what the Not White Party is?
What?
Weissnicht.
Is that meant to be not voting?
I think so.
Okay.
I thought that meant not white.
Yes, we are the not white party.
It wouldn't surprise me in Germany.
Just loads of Turks, maybe?
I don't know.
Yeah, anyway, surging.
Yes, you get the point.
And they're also doing very well in the polls.
Oh, if we get rid of that.
The AFD are second here now.
So, you know, the Christian Democrats are still number one in the polling, at least by a pretty significant margin.
So even if the poll is wildly off, I think they're still the biggest party.
That is the party of what's-her-face, isn't it?
That lady, the German lady, the name escapes me.
Angela Merkel, there we go.
Gone for years and nobody knows her replacement.
Nobody cares.
Everyone just thinks of Mama Merkel whenever they think of the CDU.
Yeah, it's the Social Democrats who've got the Chancellor at the minute, isn't it?
Olaf Scholz?
Is that right?
I don't know.
It's not the focus of this segment anyway.
I'm just doing trivia at this point.
It's not a pub quiz.
This is actually a news segment.
It's actually an Austrian painter who's in charge of that one.
Oh, not again!
But yes, they're doing quite well and it's interesting because they've been around for a while.
You know about the AFD, don't you?
They're pretty cool guys, I've met them.
We went to Germany with Carl back in the day, he gave a speech.
We met a whole bunch of their MPs, talked about everything under the sun, and they all seemed really reasonable.
Yes, and I don't think they've seen this much popularity so far.
I've not followed their entire history, but they seem to be polling quite well.
Yeah, I think it's the best they've ever been.
And this has attracted a lot of ire from the powers that be, the establishment, the media, that sort of thing.
And there are sort of silly stories like this one, a far-right leader on trial for using Nazi slogan, and this was this month.
There are lots of stories targeting them this month because they've kind of realized, hang on a minute, we need to nip this in the bud.
The guy is Bjorn Hock, I think?
I don't know.
Sorry if I'm mispronouncing it, but apparently he took to stage and told the audience he would have to appear in court because of an indictment from 2021 because I once closed an election campaign rally with a rhetorical triad, everything for our homeland, everything for Saxony and Holt, everything for... and then he encouraged the audience to finish the slogan and they shouted back, Germany!
Alles für Deutschland!
It wasn't exactly Deutschland-Deutschland-Überallees, is it?
It's a bit different than that.
It's just saying, you know, we do everything for Germany, which for a German politician, you know, objectively speaking is pretty uncontroversial.
But apparently, This article says, everything for Germany, alles für Deutschland, sorry my German's not very good, was the slogan of the Nazi Sturmer, the SA, or the Storm Troopers.
Yeah, there's no point trying to learn how to read that.
Yeah, it's impossible to me.
You've got to spell it out.
Do a Top Gear.
Sturmer Tierlung.
I meant the letters, but never mind, don't worry.
Oh, S-A.
No, no.
You remember when on Top Gear they had a new German car, and they were like, well, its name is German.
They're like, well, you know, read it out.
And he's like, well, I'll read out the letters.
It's the S-D-I-U-M-P-K-E.
S-I-K-N-L-L.
Whatever it was it was, brother.
But he basically said, well, I didn't know about this.
Also, it was the crowd that said the slogan.
Yeah.
How can he be put on trial for something someone else did?
Yeah, he said everything, you know, for... And then they're like, you said this, you made the crowd, you used your powers of your mind to make those people in the audience say that.
But it does seem to be that if they're digging up stuff from 2021 to target people, what, three years later, for something that, let's be honest, isn't that big a deal.
They're probably a little bit worried.
And then you get things like this, a German politician filmed taking Russian money, and this was the Czech intelligence agency passed this on to Germans.
He met some sort of Russian broadcaster and was allegedly given €20,000 in a car somewhere.
And that's also happened at the same time as this previous story.
And on top of that, there has been arrest of an AFD's EU Parliament aide over the claims that he is a Chinese spy.
I don't know why the Chinese would want a right-wing party to succeed in Germany, because you would presume that a right-wing party would be more opposed to a communist party.
Yeah, I'm a bit confused about that one.
I get the Russian connection.
Yeah.
Because they want disunity in Europe, which is also British policy.
Don't hit the player, hit the game.
Alright, whatever.
But, yeah, why would the CCP be backing the quote-unquote moral right?
And they're trying to use it just like, well, he's got to step down now, and it's just like, well, it's his aide, isn't it?
And his aide was a Chinese guy, and if he's just like, well, I can't have a Chinese aide, they'll just be like, well, you're racist.
So the guy can't win.
Maybe it's a good policy, I don't know.
I mean, who keeps up the spice?
Yeah, well, it's funny that, isn't it?
it that if you don't have Chinese AIDS oh this sounds bad doesn't it it's pronounced SARS actually if you don't have them then there's less of a risk of them being a Chinese spy I I don't know what to tell you.
But yes, it seems like they're going after them.
And things have been carrying on since about January, really.
And this is quite a confusing debate.
AFD, Germans float ban on elected far-right party after scandal.
Do you want to know what this scandal was in January?
So I'm going to read an extract from this BBC article.
The staffer identified as GNG by German authorities works for MEP Maximilian Krah who is the AFD's top candidate in the European Parliament election in June.
GNG is an employee of Chinese Secret Service and also Hang on a minute, I'm reading the wrong thing.
That's not that, that was the previous thing.
Hang on a minute, that's not right.
So this is, yeah, January.
Germans have been shocked by the revelations that senior figures attended a meeting where mass deportations were allegedly discussed.
A growing backlash has sparked large protests and public condemnation.
The AFD, which continues to poll second nationally, says it is being scandalously smeared by opponents.
That sounds pretty accurate to me.
It was investigative outlet Corrective that released a bombshell report about a secret meeting at a hotel near Berlin in November involving around 20 people including senior AFD figures and neo-Nazi influencers.
I like how you can be a neo-Nazi influencer.
I must have missed that on TikTok.
Yeah, the Instagrams are amazing, man.
I don't believe any of that stuff.
I just assume they're lying.
Well, it's illegal to be a Nazi in Germany, so how can they be a neo-Nazi influencer?
Because they would have to be underground.
But the idea of discussing mass deportations, this is in the context of the Palestinian marches, which in Germany included shouting down to the Jews, which even German Antifa turned on the Palestinian marches because of that.
Well, even Antifa are just like, you're too extreme for us.
Yeah, no, the German position is very much, you have to respect Israel if you're getting deported.
I mean, big surprise, they're Germany.
Like, they're kind of a bit guilty about something they might have done.
How is that a controversy?
How is that not government policy?
Well, it's in their manifesto to deport asylum seekers anyway, to re-migrate them.
And it says at least two members of the centre-right Christian Democrat party, the party of former Chancellor Angela Merkel, were also said to be present.
So even the centre-right party were also there in this secret neo-Nazi meeting with the globalist Welcome to the Neo-Nazi meeting.
We are here to discuss deportations of anyone who does not like Israel.
It's very strange, and apparently the discussion allegedly focused on so-called re-migration, the BBC puts in quotation marks, removal of millions of asylum seekers, non-assimilated people, and those with non-German backgrounds, even if they hold residency rights and citizenship.
That'll be the Turks then.
Well, yeah, that's also, you know, isn't that reform party policy in the UK as well?
At least.
Getting rid of citizens?
I don't know.
No, not the citizens.
They're not there yet.
Cuckservative strike again.
But yeah, it's a load of fuss over nothing.
They're trying to make out that this is awful and terrible.
And they're just like, maybe we shouldn't have people in Germany that hate our country and make us look bad.
I mean, again, the context here is literally all about respecting Israel because of the Palestinian-Israeli marches.
I'm not even going to try.
What's the point?
People don't care about the truth.
People jumped on this notion of banning the AFD.
Here at Politico, running an article considering what would happen.
Germany's far-right AFD is soaring.
Can a ban stop it?
And never mind that, you know, they're democratically elected.
I mean, it would stop it.
I mean, killing your opposition does stop them existing.
Yeah, but this is a sort of Reichstag fire thing, if you excuse the analogy, in that they're making a big fuss over something that seems to be deliberately orchestrated.
Aren't they?
To seize power.
That's what's going on here.
That is why I've titled this segment as it is.
I'm not calling the AFD, you know, the bringers of the Fourth Reich.
It is the establishment.
Because they're trying to ban the second most popular party in the country.
For democracy.
Ban the opposition.
Yeah, it literally is that.
They're saying there's a sort of interpretation of the German constitution that you can only really strike people off if they're anti-democracy.
So they've got to claim that they're removing the second most popular party in the name of democracy.
It's very strange.
The Germans really have embraced managed democracy apparently.
So here's another one from The Guardian, this was in February.
How should Germany deal with its far-right problem, and could it ban the AFD?
And a bunch of Germans, lots of Germans except maybe Fatima, I don't think that's a particularly German name, contributing towards this.
And here's another one as well, Vox, the dangerous resurgence of Germany's far-right, explained.
Dangerous.
Dangerous to who?
Probably Jews in Germany, to be honest.
I don't know who else they're going to hurt.
Well, not actually.
No, like the AFD are literally just going to deport people who go on Palestinian marches and shout, you know, death to Jews.
Yeah.
So... Also, they say, like in the US, the right is driving and capitalizing on fears about immigration.
Well, they're not driving it because the actions of the immigrants themselves and the asylum seekers... How are the right driving it?
Yeah, we're just... Did we make them do the stabbings or the bombings?
It's all false flags, Avox.
It's actually a white man in a mask.
They run ISIS, it turns out.
Yes, they're just wearing boot polish, aren't they?
And there is more.
Here is the Associated Press, who, you know, distribute news to a lot of other news outlets.
Germans thought they were immune to nationalism after confronting their Nazi past.
They were wrong.
Which just sounds very sinister.
And yes.
What's wrong with nationalism?
I know.
That's kind of the point in The Nation-State.
And there we go, talking about AFD almost immediately.
They're just trying to build this connection between the AFD and the National Socialists, which isn't new.
They've been trying to do it for a long time and it just doesn't work really.
And here's another one, Germany's AFD to be classified as a right-wing extremist group.
So this is something that's been in the courts for a few months now.
That there is a push to classify them as an extremist group with their domestic intelligence services and they want to place them under investigation.
Very democratic.
I'm sure this is reasonable in a democracy to get people struck off and banned because you don't like their politics.
That seems reasonable, doesn't it Callum?
So, um, they're obviously trying to, um, overturn this because, um, there have been, oh, that's not right.
There have been attempts to reverse particularly the local AFD branches.
I think three of them have been labeled as extremists.
So supposedly it is the ones, where is it?
So it's Saxony, Thuringia, I think I'm pronouncing that right, and Saxony and Holt, all three of them by their local authorities have been designated as extremists already and they're trying to sue to reverse it and that happened yesterday.
So this is something that's ongoing, that they're basically being persecuted and I want to go to their manifesto if it's possible.
I don't I can't see the manifesto, John.
I tell you what, I think I've got it pulled up on my laptop.
Oh, here we go.
Cheers, John.
So here we are, never mind.
So here are the sections.
Democracy and Core Values, Europe and the Euro, National Security and Justice, Foreign and Security Policy, Labour and Social Policy.
You know, the usual stuff.
Families and Children, Culture, Language, Identity, Schools, Immigration and Asylum, Economy and Digitalization, blah blah blah blah blah.
All the usual stuff.
I didn't see anything on the Jewish question here.
Not quite.
No.
No rules on blood.
No.
That's not in there?
No.
The Polish solution?
Nothing about Liebensraum.
I mean, they're pretty terrible National Socialists.
They've missed out on all of those policies.
But you look at this, and you look at some of their things, just like they want more referendums based on the Swiss model, so more direct democracy.
Just like Adolf Hitler.
Yes, he loved democracy, didn't he?
The party want a lean government for free citizens.
They want to reduce the power of the state, just like Hitler.
Guarantee the separation of powers.
Separate political offices and membership of parliament.
They want to make it more along the separation of powers line, you know, like the mid-century Germans.
And you look at things like the economic policy in here, and it's things like, yes, we want more free trade, we want less state interference in trade, we want people to be able to make money and not worry about all of the laws dictating what they should do, and we don't think that the EU should tell people what to do as well.
I mean, this is sort of more libertarian, right?
Not very good Hitler stuff.
That's... No.
It's almost like... Kind of Milton Freeman.
Yeah.
It's absurd, isn't it?
You know, if you actually read their manifesto...
It really is very different to how they're being made out to be.
They're trying to make them out to be these extremist Nazis.
They're actually just like, we kind of want liberalism.
They're sort of right-wing conservative liberals, is how I would describe them.
We want to have a set out sort of constitutional system.
They want separations of powers, they want free trade, but they're also sort of conservative in social values in that they want to make sure the family is protected, and they're against mass immigration, and trans and kids, and all those sorts of things that the right in this country are in favour of, presumably at least.
So, um, I also wanted to mention that you can listen to them in their own words because here is, uh, I believe you, this is you talking.
Yes.
This is you talking to a member of the AFD, although it says ADF in the thumbnail.
Can you do that thumbnail Callum?
No, no.
So this was from the 9th of November 2020, so this was some of the first stuff on the website.
The thumbnail's been incorrect the whole time.
And also Coles spoke to Dr Gunnar Beck as well, this was in 2022.
And Beau has spoke to Peter Borringer, I think you pronounce his name, and that was only September of last year.
So if you want to hear members of the AFD in their own words, well, here you are.
And thankfully in English.
Yeah, even better.
Not in their own words, in our words.
And there are obviously lots of legitimate problems in Germany that I think the AFD are the only party positioned to actually sort them out.
Things like this, school children are converting to Islam out of fears in German schools, a study warns Christians feel they are outsiders and are desperate to try and fit in since huge migrant flux.
Apparently 67.8% of students believe the Qur'an is more important than the laws in Germany, which is absolutely horrifying.
When the Germans start thinking, That, you know, a higher ideal is more important than the law.
Things start to get interesting, don't they?
If my reading of history is correct.
Have you heard German Islam?
It is scary sounding, isn't it?
Islamic rants in English are kind of weird.
Islamic rants in German.
Oh boy.
Yeah, it's scary.
Whenever someone starts shouting passionately in German, I'm like, uh oh.
Looks like we're back in the trenches, boys.
Also this, Germany passes gender self-identification law, allowing infants to transition, and imposes massive fines for dead-naming people.
So yeah, supposedly children, I think... And then one day, for no reason at all, people voted for the AFD!
So apparently five-year-olds can now start medically transitioning from this law which passed a few days ago, which is horrifying.
You know, in Britain we've at least pushed back the age to 18.
No, it shouldn't be at all.
But the final thing I wanted to mention as well is that their economy is not doing too well, and that's true of a lot of European countries to be fair.
But normally Germany is a sort of The rock in which the rest of Europe can be a little bit neurotic and unstable, because Germany is normally known for its economic stability and now it's not so much, mainly due to their suicidal energy policy which has had a knock-on effect to lots of other things, but as well as reckless government spending, lockdowns, all sorts of things contributing to this is obviously a very
Complicated issue, but there are lots of problems that I think the AFD are well equipped to tackle and I wish them all the best.
I think there is an election coming up in June for the EU Parliament, which is quite important because, of course, Germany kind of sets the tone for the rest of the EU, doesn't it?
As far as the EU works, they're the sort of most important country in it these days.
They're the ones with all the Greek debt, so.
That's true.
So they kind of tell Greece what to do, at least in the EU, to a certain extent.
Keep an eye on Germany.
Some weird things are happening.
I don't think they have realised the irony of what they're doing to the AFD, that they're trying to remove them.
But yeah, best of luck to them.
Alrighty.
Then we shall move on.
Fun!
Do you like fun?
No, I hate it.
Fun's terrible.
Never mind.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
Thanks for watching.
Right, okay, no, no, no, no, no.
Fun is needed, in my opinion.
As the resident fun enjoyer, I shall have fun.
I like fun as well.
I'm going anyway, so I'm gonna have some fun on the way out.
Let's begin with this though, which is not fun, to remind ourselves of why we need fun.
Because this is a clip which I saw Russian garbage human, one of the old comrades, sent me this.
And it's just depresso.
So let's have a look at this.
The first time in our nation's history a 30-year-old man or woman isn't doing as well as his or her parents were at 30.
That is the social compact breaking down.
People aged 30 to 34, 60% of them in 1990 had one child.
Now it's 27%.
People are opting out of America.
They're not optimistic about it.
They're not having kids.
Young people aren't having sex.
They're not meeting.
They're not mating.
The pool of emotionally and economically viable men shrinks every day, which lessens household formation.
So we have a real issue.
Young people are enraged.
So it turns every cut every movement into an opportunistic infection, because quite frankly, they are just pissed off.
They look up, they see wealth, exceptional wealth across my generation and people in certain industries, and they are really struggling.
Their purchasing power is going down and the incumbents create artificial scarcity on campus.
We take pride in rejecting 90% of our applicants.
So the incumbents who already have a degree, see their degree go up in value.
We get very concerned with housing and traffic.
Once we own the housing, housing permits are sequestered from young people.
Housing prices have gone from $290,000 to $420,000 in the last four years.
So a young person, a house, stocks that I don't own skyrocket in value.
Let's have COVID relief and flush the markets and take assets way up, because if a million people died, it would be bad, it would be tragic if I got less wealthy.
And we're doing it on their credit card.
Young people have every reason to be enraged, and every issue they see, they look up, they get angry, and they see someone doing better than them, and then And every day it is speedballed in their face that they are failing, that they are not doing as well as everyone around them.
We have lost the script.
Our kids are more anxious and more depressed and more obese and more addicted.
And we have made a purposeful decision to let this happen by ensuring the people around this table stay wealthy at the cost of young people.
I don't think I've ever heard something from MSNBC that I've agreed with so much.
What is this wizardry?
Weird.
But as you can see here, the thing he's responding to is this graph that was released showing how much is a child going to be earning compared to their parents by year of birth.
So if you're born in the 1940s, for example, you were making I'm trying to read it because the camera's in a bloody way.
But I think it's 90% more.
90%.
Am I reading that right, Josh?
You can actually see?
Percentage of children earnings more than their parents, 90% more in 1940.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Just over 90, really.
You're born in 40.
Your parents, let's assume they're 20 years old, were born in 1920s.
You're earning 90% more than them.
Yeah.
Okay.
It makes sense.
But isn't it a percentage?
So it's 90% of people earning more than their parents, not they're earning 90% more.
Correct.
So that's how it was.
And then you can see as it bottles down.
And then if you're born in the fifties, still pretty bloody good.
You're earning more than your parents.
And then it hovers.
What is that?
The 50% mark here is where we are.
So if you were born in the eighties, you had a pretty bad time, but then things went back up and then went back down again.
So now if you're born in the nineties, You're going to be earning on average, well 50% of you will be earning more than your parents, 50% of you won't.
So we've reached no growth.
Yeah, well, my parents left school at 16 and both went into work, and they earn more at my age than I do now, by a significant margin in real terms.
And you can see here- And I've got a master's degree, so it doesn't make any sense.
And you can see here the trend line as well, because that's going to keep going lower by the looks of it.
And that's the United States, of course.
But that's the American dream, in a sense.
It's not this BS that people spout out like, oh, the American dream was big house, kids, family, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, of course, but the real contract there was the same thing you hear people talk about China, which is that in China, for example, whenever you hear someone talk about it, they always say, well, the agreement between the people and the state is after Tiananmen Square, that as long as you have the economy keep growing, the CCP can be in charge and do what it wants.
That's how people describe it.
I would say that's pretty much true for most countries, because if you can't increase the standard of living for people, You can have a revolution at some point.
Might not be violent, might be democratic instead.
Might not be democratic, might be a complete overthrow of the whole system.
But if things aren't getting better for a long enough time, people lose hope.
And if they lose hope, it's over.
That's when you've got to relieve a relationship.
So...
I'm breaking up with the UK government.
Yeah.
So I saw that.
That's not fun.
That's not fun at all.
Not very sade.
And, well, I can't improve that.
So instead, let's have some fun.
All right.
All right.
It's a deal.
Video game news.
The Hard R Shop.
What?
Yeah, there we go.
Take your mind off the depression.
This is a new game that's come out called Cellar Blade, and apparently they have a shop in there called the Hard R Shop, where you can go buy things.
Funnily enough, Here are the patrons in there, by any chance.
Nobody knows!
Nobody's figured it out.
Just a local man waiting at a petrol station, knowing that he's not going in.
But the situation was that apparently this was put in the game by accident, they swear.
We accidentally coded this whole thing.
Yes, we accidentally put the hard graffiti next to the R shop.
So they've had it removed.
So in case you're wondering, there you are.
I got instantly memed by people enjoying it, enjoying the video game.
It's all good fun.
But what was funny is they then replaced it with the word crime.
So as you can see, they made it the Crime-er Shop instead of the Hard-er Shop.
That's even funnier, really.
Yeah.
You mean they replaced hard-er with crime?
The other thing that I found weird is it turns out that's actually also a slur.
Crimer?
Yeah.
Oh, I just said it.
Well there we are.
Oops.
You're on camera, saying the slur.
It's a silly slur anyway.
At least you didn't put it in a video game, that would have been worse.
I've spent my whole professional life building this video game.
What's in it?
Racial slurs.
Whoops.
I'll play it.
But for those who want to visit the Hard R Cafe, which, to be honest, does sound like good fun.
You'll sadly have to go into Mexico, which is... because I decided to Google to see if anyone's actually done that, and yes, there is a guy in Mexico who's actually done this.
He's named his taco restaurant that.
I take it it's not El Niño then?
No.
No?
No.
I named it after the weather pattern.
Had my time and MS Paint to cover that up.
But anyway, more fun!
I have more fun!
International relation news!
Ooh!
With piss heads!
Yes!
A lot of us!
I know, yeah.
Sorry, we just can't wait until the comments.
Lovely stuff.
Don't worry, podcasting will resume in a second.
Yeah, it's not important.
Anyway, as you can see here, children in England's top alcohol usage charts, according to the World Health Organization.
We're number one, boys.
Number one, indeed.
As you can see here, child alcohol consumption at record levels.
They're blaming it on lockdown here.
I did my part.
Did you?
Yeah.
I genuinely did.
You know, children ask me, can you buy some beers?
I say, of course, son.
Of course, I'll buy you a whole litre of vodka just for you.
Would you like some whiskey?
I've got some cigarettes as well.
So this here, look, we're trying to fit in with Swindon culture and become alcoholics, alright?
Stop complaining in the chat.
So this here is a chart and it was done by the World Health Organization and what's the news here is sadly we're not the ones drinking the most alcohol per capita.
We've not reached there yet, that's still Estonia.
That is the worst colour scheme.
Is that just the dark mode?
I can't read the names.
Yeah, John, can you kill the dark mode for us?
I don't know if that'll help us.
Can you make it white, please?
Thank you.
Oh, yes.
Little Easter egg there.
As you can see, so if you look at this chart, you can see that the youngest drinkers are, of course, the English.
So this is the percentage of 11 year olds who have ever drunk alcohol.
So we chop the tarts for boys and girls.
Chop the tarts?
They top the charts for boys and girls.
You're either Jack the Ripper or you're a village fate eating a pie.
I don't know.
Just in bubbles.
As you can see here, England is actually a quite gender equal society in which our 11-year-olds both have been drinking alcohol, whereas in Moldova, for example, they have horrible patriarchy where 11-year-old girls don't drink alcohol so much.
Yes.
We've got the drunkest women in Europe.
Yeah.
Here's the chart in case you were wondering.
So, I mean, everyone in the office would be France.
Where is France?
Well, Wales is quite far down compared to England, isn't it?
Yes.
So you go, here's France.
There's that.
What was the first time you drank alcohol, Josh?
It was in France.
Of course it was!
We didn't plan that.
What happened?
Um, well, I was at a wedding in France, and there was a bowl of punch.
I didn't know it was punch, I thought it was fruit juice.
And because it was only water for children, I wanted fruit juice.
I drank a bunch of fruit juice, and I thought it was a little bit bitter.
Turns out it was alcoholic punch.
Goddamn.
And some French people tried to tell me that, no, no, don't drink that, and I just thought they didn't want to share the fruit juice with the children.
Pretty parents stealing all the good fruit juice.
So it just turns out I got drunk, and then I went and told my mum, and she thought it was funny.
She's just like, it's alright, we're in France, it doesn't matter here.
But the funniest story is not so much that all our children are stealing the punch, but it turns out there's an even more great reason to be proud to be British.
Not British.
Screw the Welsh.
English.
English.
English alone.
We need to see more children drinking in Wales.
We need to pump those numbers up.
Well, here's the story.
Some British tourists got on a plane.
It was a four-hour flight to Turkey, and they drank the plane dry within 25 minutes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Cheers, boys.
We're not the only ones who are enjoying this.
I don't know if you've seen, but literally, like, all the British Twitter accounts.
There's no context Brits.
It's just responding with... Yes.
Which, fair enough.
Return your rules, the beverage is apparently.
I would just drink turkey dry at least, I mean that's not hard.
But then you've got to drink Racky, and as we know from that lads though, Racky is gross.
I'm not drinking cum.
So here's all the other responses.
It's just people being like, you know, remember the Simpsons.
Proud to be British, from the last one here.
Let's fucking go lads!
So, yeah.
That's what I'm going to look like when I'm older.
I do know that we're actually despised by the Mediterranean, as in us going on holiday.
Well, it's because a lot of our tourists that go to the common holiday destinations are the sort of lager louts of Britain, you know, football hooligan types, which, you know, I'm not above, so I'm not judging, but I know we don't behave particularly well abroad.
I tend to try and not be that guy.
I'm trying to help our reputation when I go on holiday.
Not by much, I still get drunk, but still.
Lame.
Refuse to learn the language, be an arsehole, and then fly home.
But learning the language is fun, you know this.
Yeah, I know, I'm playing the part.
But anyway, that's enough international nation news.
Now on to war news.
This is where the real fun is.
Somehow.
No drinking in here, this is the war news.
Yes, to our war desk.
Here's some news, which I've been telling this story around the office because I saw it and it's hilarious.
Sorry to audio listeners, you'll just have to learn Russian.
To everyone else... Just learn Russian, bro.
Just, you know, pause the video, come back when you're ready.
And everyone else, enjoy this wonderful story about a local man who was out fighting the war and he decided to stumble across a doorbell.
Let's see what happened.
Well, of course, the most stupid fucking stretch for the whole story, which I actually know, is a doorbell in a forest on a tree.
And, unfortunately, a man who was walking in a helmet saw this bell on a tree along the road, came up and pressed it.
And along the whole helmet and part of the core, the garland fucked up.
Well, who knows what a garland is, he knows.
Well, this is generally April Fool's.
Bell on a tree, fuck.
Well, can you imagine?
It's just 1 April, a little bit on the tree.
You can't think of it, and get in the forest, and get in the forest.
I would like to get in the forest.
I would like to get in the forest.
For the audio listeners we'll describe it.
So he was saying the stupidest booby trap story he's heard yet is that the Russian soldiers were walking around and they found a ring doorbell that's just tied to a tree and one of the guys decided to push it and presumably he heard ding ding ding and then he died.
And I just love the end bit the guy who's doing the interview is listening to all this it's like well honestly I would have pushed it too.
I think it would have been difficult to resist.
Although, if I were in a war zone, I probably would have sniffed out a rat there, just like, hang on a minute, this is an electronic device in the middle of the woods.
What is going on here?
Could this be an explosive?
See, you think that, sitting here at a desk, right?
But when you've been walking around for days, you're bored, there's not much going on, I think every male agrees we would push the... Well, what did he think would happen?
You'd, like, press the bell and a bear comes out from behind a tree, just like, hmm?
A little robin would open its door and be like, hello?
What did you want?
You wouldn't rig it?
Seriously?
Like, sincerely?
If you were there for three days?
Alright, not even a long time, just three days.
You're bored to tears.
Walk around the woods.
Doorbell.
If I saw it in a British woods, I'd do it without hesitation.
But if we're in a war zone, I'd be like, well, that's the easiest trigger of explosives ever.
Well, it works.
That's all I'm saying.
So there we are.
I told you war news could be fun.
So there's that story.
Instantly, this has become a WoJack in case you're wondering.
It's just Russian man sees doorbell.
God, I love ring doorbell.
Curiosity killed the Russian soldier.
It doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?
Well, pardon the pun.
There you go.
Dad joke for the day.
What?
He said... Oh, I'm so stupid, I'm not gonna get it.
Instead, let's end this off, because I've gone over time, for just some other things, which is, here we are.
The war's looking rather Mad Max, if people hadn't noticed recently.
I know those Muslims and Jews are more interesting when they kill each other, but if we go back to the Slavs, they're doing this.
So this is the Ukrainian side, who are taking on the Stalker aesthetic.
Have you seen the tanks with a similar thing?
I hope I'm not stealing your thunder here.
The Blyatmobile.
Yes.
This is the Blyatmobile.
Oh, you've got it, yes!
This is the Russians.
Presumably... It's like a mobile pigsty, isn't it?
I can't get over this, for the people listening.
You are right, it's a pigsty with wheels and a big gun.
I presume this is the separatists, because they're the ones who get the pretty poor equipment.
Just whatever you can find, lads.
Enjoy.
And they seem to have built the Blyatmobile, as it is being dubbed.
I can't even do it.
I can't believe it.
It's like...
It's like orcs in the Warhammer universe, isn't it?
Yeah, I know when the war started there was this meme started that the Ukrainians would call the Russians orcs as a slur, being like, well they're not really human, they're basically animals, kill them all, you know, they're invading our land, whatever.
Despite the fact that anyone outside of Russia or Ukraine can't tell the difference between the two.
It's that meme, the two Indian guys.
Fuck off, we don't like your kind here.
Same goddamn people.
But that meme started and it was a proper thing by the Ukrainians to be like, you know, kill the Russians.
But the thing was, when I was in Donbass, we went to one of the military stores there and they sell the typical stuff.
Coats for the cold.
different kinds of replacements for your clothing if it gets damaged, pouches, bags, etc., so forth, right?
But one of the things is they sell patches, and I realized that there's a real love of military men in patches to have stupid-ass patches, and a bunch of them are literally just orcs from Warhammer 40,000.
Like, the Russians got called orcs and went, so true.
It's literally me.
Yeah, they're now building mechs.
So there we are.
This is why fun is important, because the news may be horrific, we're all going to be poorer than our parents, and the West is falling, but we do drink an awful lot of beer.
Beer makes you forget it.
It makes it all better.
Let's go to the video comments.
Ah, God.
Ah.
They'll be like, HELLO!
So everyone get to house Bane.
Oh sorry, I shouldn't have used the term Bane, you yooka-mooka-mers.
God, so stupid!
God, what's Winston Churchill?
Yeah, basically.
Who's meant to be the corpse?
I don't know.
It's like Hugo, left all those years ago.
Not dead.
No, he's very much alive.
I heard from him relatively recently.
Yeah.
Do the next one.
Hey guys, the video with the crazy-sounding dove yesterday was me.
These are ring-necked doves.
They're a domesticated species of dove that are normally raised for meat.
However, they actually make good pets.
You can train them to step up and eat out of your hand, and they'll sit on your shoulder and all that fun stuff, just like a very low-maintenance parrot.
Funny story, when we first got our first pair, I didn't know they made that noise either.
And when we heard it for the first time, I thought my house was haunted.
That was perfect timing.
Unless that was edited in.
But no, they're really beautiful birds, aren't they doves?
You know, they look like pigeons, except they're sort of like beautiful pigeons.
Pigeons are sort of, you know, particularly the rock dove.
Getting very pedantic about birds here.
They look like the sort of urban crackheads of the bird world, don't they?
They're all sort of disheveled.
They look a bit rough.
Sometimes they're missing a leg.
They're asking for spare breadcrumbs.
And then you look at the doves and they're all beautiful, well kept.
They look smooth and lovely.
You've got a dove master race going on, have you?
Yes, I'm a dove supremacist, that's right.
Do you feed pigeons?
No.
Me neither.
No one does.
I don't feed the homeless either because I don't believe in feeding vermin.
Exactly right, but you want to hear something that'll make you real sad whenever you see pigeons from now on?
What's that?
So you know how pigeons aren't cows?
We didn't breed them for the meat.
Really?
Pigeons are not cows?
We didn't breed them for the meat.
We bred them so they could carry messages, you know, the heroes of the First World War.
I mean, they didn't do any fighting, did they?
No.
I mean, they weren't blowing up tanks.
Right, they weren't killing Krauts, so they've got that fault.
Also, you know, they're not really heroes because they didn't understand the notion of their inevitable mortality.
The point being that we took care of them and they liked it and they were bred and grown over the decades to serve us and love us.
Because they need to love us to come back to us.
That's the whole point.
So pigeons were man's best friend.
We'd take care of them, they'd take care of us for decades, right up until we invented instant communication with electrics, at which point we dropped them like a hot potato.
And ever since, they've been completely abandoned.
And what's terrifying is that the modern pigeon probably still has the same instincts as a pigeon from like 1912.
So they still think that humans are its friend and really wants us to take care of it, but we hate them.
hate them with every fiber of ideas.
I don't hate them.
I'm just indifferent to them.
I try not to startle them when I walk past when they're on the ground.
I coexist with pigeons, but I don't go out of my way to help them.
Talk about pigeons?
What are you, Mike Tyson?
Pigeons.
He loves pigeons, doesn't he?
Today is Anzac Day, where we commemorate the men who died at Gallipoli in World War 1, And also remember all the men throughout Australian history who died defending us from tyranny at a time when we got a PM determined to jail people who opposed censorship.
God bless the Anzacs.
Thanks.
Very true.
Hear, hear.
You know, my grandparents used to tell me stories about the Aussie soldiers coming over.
I can't read this because the camera's in the way, so do you mind reading it out loud?
Oh, they shall not grow old.
As we that are left grow old, age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At going down of the sun and in the morning, we shall remember them.
Amen.
I don't know if you'd know, but Craig, if you do me one last favour, could you find out if there is still a Rhodesian element to the Anzac Day marches?
Because I read about this, that the Rhodesians, a bunch of them, went to Australia and then they're still allowed to march the Anzac Parade because they served with the Anzacs.
So they don't mind the whole politically incorrect aspect of it, because it's like, well, look, you fought and died with us in the gas and mud and blood, so whatever.
So if you can help me find out if that's still the case, cheers.
To the next one.
I must say, I really enjoyed Monday's guest, Alex.
Nice to see a fellow steam power supremacist out in the wild.
And he is right about the social change coming about after the war.
Before the war, all your elite were self-made men.
Charles Nash started life as a slave.
Walter Kreiser started as a mechanic.
And they both raised themselves to being the most influential industrialists who ever lived or married alone.
After the war, however, is when you see the rise of the new mangerial class.
I entirely agree.
cast inserted at the top of any organization ever having actually dealt with a thing they lured over.
It seems in rising to face them we took the same poison pill that doomed the third positionist to begin with.
Ironic, really.
I entirely agree.
Also, it's great to see you know, sort of metallurgy going on What?
Is that right?
Metal work?
I don't know.
Whatever you're doing, I appreciate it.
I sort of, being cooped up in an office, I don't know whether you get this as well.
Do you ever just feel a strong urge to work with your hands?
I really get the pull of that.
It's probably just the sort of grass is greener.
If I did that, I'd be like, I really wish I had an office job.
I go to war zones and then my friends die.
What?
That does it.
That scratches that itch, does it?
Yeah.
Your friends die?
Yeah.
Do you remember the guy in Russia that fucking died?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
That's a shame.
So as you people keep talking about St. George's Day, I was visiting a tiny little church yesterday at a little coastal town here in Denmark, and I thought you might get a kick out of this.
Aw.
law.
Hey, is that St.
George?
Looks a bit feminine, I'll be honest.
I did think that.
He is killing a dragon, so he's making up for it.
That's St.
Sophie, I'm dubbing that.
There we are.
St.
George was trans?
My God.
No, just a woman!
Well, he became a man after he killed the dragon.
Oh, I mean, ah, whatever, never mind.
That is a cool... You're making me feel like I'm missing out on lots of history here, because I haven't seen something that old in quite some time.
Someone says in the chat they hate the pigeon story and I'll be honest, me too, through the day.
I read that and I can't get it out of my head now.
Pigeons long for their masters.
They long for love and we just kick them out of the way.
Cruel.
To be fair, pigeons can be quite friendly and you know, they get enough love.
There are enough crazy pigeon people that go and feed them and get covered in bird excrement.
It's like stray dogs.
So in this country, we kill them all.
No, he did.
Stray dog genocide.
Oh, sincerely, in the 1800s.
So, there was a rabies moral panic, so we killed all the stray dogs.
Well, it wasn't a moral panic, it was a genuine concern.
We still can't cure rabies.
Sure, but it wasn't like there was a massive amount of people dying of rabies.
But what the net effect of that was, is we actually cured rabies.
It's eradicated from the British Isles.
It's an absolute miracle.
And of course, the rest of the world doesn't have that luxury.
But they've still got mass amounts of stray dogs.
So like when you're in Eastern Europe as well, they're just all over the place.
So you go up and you see them and you want to go and stroke them and be friends because like, doggy has rabies maybe.
I remember going to Spain and there were a bunch of stray cats and they warmed to you quite quickly.
So I think they're used to coexisting alongside humans because I got to the point where I could stroke one sort of on the head tentatively without it trying to claw my eyes out, which is something, you know?
Achievement at least.
They can be saved.
To the written comments!
Oh my goodness.
You're looking in the right place.
Sorry to see you go Callum, we'll all miss your dry humour and exploration of foreign meme spheres.
Bit weird to see your resignation be monetised but there we are.
Neo Unrealist says, we will all miss Callum's priceless facial features.
Facial expressions.
I can't read, I'm drunk.
Reacting to the latest cringe and degeneracy.
Good luck on the new adventure.
Will do.
Right.
Demonia Woodsman says, so sad to see you go Callum.
We're just going to be sad.
Where's the fun?
I've been with Lotus Studios since day one.
You've been absolutely brilliant throughout.
Good luck, and good luck with your future exploits.
TKM out of context says, Joss, what's the sticker on your laptop?
Ah, yes, that is new.
Basically, I cleaned the office up and I found a bunch of stickers that someone sent in.
So if you sent in those stickers, thank you very much.
But it is...
Royal Small Arms Factory of Enfield, and Enfield of course, as Callum will know, made lots of rifles, yes, and I thought it'd be nice to cover up the HP Omen logo with a nice British rifle company.
The factory that that symbol represents doesn't exist, I think it closed in the 80s.
But it was one of those rifles that made Britain great.
Well, it was many rifles, but the Enfield rifle is synonymous with us, right?
It serviced us since the 19th century up until the... So you can have...
This is not legal advice.
I'm pretty sure you can have an actual working rifle in the United Kingdom without a license, provided it was used before 1830 or 1870.
I can't remember, one of those.
Right.
What's the best rifle made before then?
That means that if you buy yourself a red coat, a plinth helmet, and a Henry Martini rifle used in the Zulu Wars, you're completely legal to walk around with that.
Isn't the Henry Martini rifle after 1930 though?
Since the end of the 19th century?
Must be 1870 then, because I remember looking it up and finding this out and I was like, you know what, I'm going to laugh so bloody hard.
Well, I've always said that when I go to America, I've been to America before, I went there when I was young, but the next time I go to America, I'm turning up in a red coat.
I absolutely categorically refuse to turn up in any other way.
That's how my ancestors were there.
That's how I will return.
To me father, me father before him.
No, I do actually have a video idea for that.
So the NRA, you know, they have a conference every year.
I want to go, take a musket, take the red coat.
I literally just walk around collecting signatures to rejoin under King George because you don't need your gun rights, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I really would just be a laugh because apparently they're sort of mental people, which I like.
The problem is that if you're like me, you're pro gun rights.
If anything, I want more gun rights in America, not less.
That's the point, like I'm taking the piss.
My average Democrat is just a British soldier.
Anyway.
Yeah, but I'm going to be spreading gun rights.
Um.
All right.
On the Food Bank Wars, the Texas gal says, I volunteer at the local food through what local drive through food bank.
Oh my god, it's America, yeah.
Dry-through food banks.
Hadn't even considered that.
I would say 40% of the clientele are Hispanics that come through the dry-through.
Newer, nicer cars than mine.
It's very amusing.
The notion of going to a food bank in a car, like, affording a car in Britain is almost like a luxury at this point.
I can't afford a car.
Why are you driving through a food bank?
I've just got so much to do in my poverty, you know, I've got to go through quickly.
Car culture, isn't it?
It is true, though, if you want to live in the United States.
There just is no way to actually properly live without a car.
At least it's much cheaper to run one in the US than it is here.
You know, the price of buying a new one is way higher, though.
Yeah, well, the second-hand market is pretty good though.
No!
I've had a look.
The second-hand US market is way worse than the second-hand UK market, I don't know why.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know what's happened.
I was looking at, like, pickup trucks in America for some reason.
I don't know why I was doing it, alright?
To live the dream, why else?
I want a pickup, I want a cowboy hat, and I want to listen to country music, alright?
And live out my dream.
So, Matt D says, I remember something that was said to my class many years ago when I was at school.
Only the lowest of the low steal from charity.
This is like something moving to another country, stealing the charity collection box from the corner shop counter, then going through social media to advertise people from your home country on how easy it is to steal.
It's absolutely amazing.
I didn't think this would be controversial with sensible people.
Do not steal, sir.
Do not steal.
Sorry.
I watched that video for the first time recently and I love it.
The Do Not Redeem.
I advise everyone to watch that.
Not our stuff, watch a random video on YouTube.
For fun.
Yes.
Amr Awad says, in before the lack of diversity in ethnic food donations as white supremacy.
Yeah, do you remember that Palestinian who got the US rations?
Did you see that video?
And he was all fussy about it, yeah.
He was like, how am I meant to eat this?
There's no spices!
It's not a British ration, go away.
Yes.
You know we get Tabasco sauce, they don't.
We get Tabasco sauce and they don't?
Yeah, so American rations don't come with Tabasco sauce.
At least from what I've seen, maybe I'm wrong.
But I know British ones always do.
We should make it Worcestershire sauce, just to really mess with the Americans, because they don't know how to say it.
Woo-chester-shire.
I'll be honest, I can't do it either.
Worcestershire.
Worcestershire.
It's like crisps.
It just sounds like you're shushing me.
Yeah, but you know the word crisps.
Crisps.
You don't need to whisper it.
No, no, but at the end- Crisps!
You just did it?
Yeah.
Yeah, but you hear what I mean, right?
Yeah, I was doing it on purpose, yeah.
No, but when you say it normally, like, say it normally.
Crisp.
No.
No, no, no.
Plural.
Yeah, see?
The real problem in English.
Derek Power says, segment one, do you want your low-trust societies?
Because that's how you get low-trust societies.
It sure is.
Rue the Day.
See, this is the other thing I mentioned previously about when I go to Russia.
There's this aspect of complete low-trust society.
Greg's example I gave was there was a video of this guy fighting with a non-binary woman and she tries to hit him.
So he pepper sprays her in the face.
I've seen that.
So a lot of people shared it as being like haha like LGBT weirdo gets punished for trying to hurt someone.
But the real interesting thing out of that video was actually how every passerby looked at this happening and went I just moved on.
Understandable, have a nice day.
But that's what a low trust society looks like.
There's some of that already in Swindon, like to a significant extent.
Well, I remember actually, I'm not sure if I'm going to get myself in trouble telling this story but I don't care anymore, there was a shoplifter running, he wasn't running sorry, he was on a bicycle, black guy obviously, Um, and he had some, like, trousers and a shirt and what have you, and no one was intervening with the security guard trying to keep up with a bicycle.
You know, it is a losing battle.
So I bonked a guy over the head with my umbrella, um, and it didn't do anything.
He carried on cycling.
Utterly British.
And, um, yeah, it didn't help.
Made me feel better.
Um, but no one else intervened and I kind of looked around just like, really?
And then people kind of looked at me like, what do you want us to do?
It's like, yeah, stop him, you idiots.
What kind of cesspool do you, well, you live in Swindon.
But, you know, silly question.
But did this country not stand for a bit more than simply just watching someone do something wrong?
You know, we used to live in a country where people would intervene.
But that's the thing.
Like you're from the glorious heaven that is Devon as well.
Yes.
And of course, back there, the rules are simple.
They're consistent.
You intervene.
But in Swindon, there's complete cultural confusion because I have to look at the suspect, the perpetrator, and how much I give a shit about the society before I even do anything, which you never used to have to do because you're here.
But when you're in Russia, the rules are again, simple, consistent, don't give a fuck.
That's their rules.
As long as the rules are consistent and simple, like that's actually, there's not anxiety with what to do in social situations.
But when they're inconsistent all over the place, it's just stress.
Well, I have the opinion that wherever I go, I want to leave the world a bit more high-trust.
Not in a sort of naive sense, but just restore people's… Goes to Pakistan?
Yeah, I wouldn't want to go there.
But, you know, wherever I go in Britain, I want to leave the place a little bit better.
Is the point I'm getting at.
I want people to believe that, you know, Englishness is not dead.
You know, it's actually surprising.
Like you have sort of chitchat with someone in like a shop counter or something like that.
And, uh, they really enjoy it these days.
If you're English and it sort of reminds them of the good old days, particularly if they're older, you know, they're above 40 or 50, they really appreciate it.
Felt like you weren't listening to me, you were just touching buttons on a... No, I was making sure the next things were right.
But you're right, because it's also, people don't... There's real... I remember when I was working in a shop, and someone mentioned to me that old people come in to have a chat, and when I was young, I just didn't understand that concept whatsoever.
You're so right that when people actually enjoy the conversation, or just even just someone you meet at a counter, but you need the right kind of society for that to work.
Yeah, and you also need to know how to do it correctly, in that you're not like chewing the ear off of the person there, like rolling their eyes like, oh for goodness sake, when's this person going to shut up?
Sort of chit-chat, it's like conversation.
But if you're particularly good at it, it doesn't have to be meaningless, it doesn't have to be sort of small talk.
But again, you don't get that in low-trust societies.
No, you don't.
Everything's transactional, once we're done, we're done.
But let's move on to your section, so let's do that.
Sorry, I was reading the chat because they're talking about the umbrella story.
They're saying you should have put the umbrella through his spokes, but I don't want to break my umbrella.
My umbrella is worth more than the things he was stealing.
I've got an expensive umbrella.
I'm British.
It's necessary.
Anyway, Germany's fourth Reich.
Omar Awad says there are many nationalists in Germany, very few of them German.
That's true.
Lots of Turks.
Lord Nerevar Would it be fair to say that the current German regime has missed the boat on banning the AFD?
They're just too popular to reliably do away with now, at least in the direct manner.
However, I'm not an expert on German politics or the German mindset because we won two world wars, so I don't have to be, so I'm happy to be correct.
You know, I thought about making that joke in my segment and I thought, you know what?
They get beaten up enough for World War II.
Let's give them a break.
They're having a hard time.
What about that one World Cup though?
It was 1966.
Yeah.
It wasn't in my lifetime.
And they've beaten us a lot of times in the football recently.
So, I'm going to keep quiet about football because, you know, Germany reliably beat us, normally in penalties.
We haven't won for 58 years.
Yeah, I know.
We got in the final last time.
Did we lose to the Dutch?
I can't remember.
I don't think so.
Who did we lose to?
I think we lost to the Italians.
I remember rightly.
Yeah, no, because they're not diverse, I remember.
Yes.
The whole debate.
They were also playing dirty and we weren't so much.
Although we're getting worse since we've stopped having so many English players.
English.
The Isle Guy, if German students are genuinely converting to Islam out of fear then I'd suggest German women convert to men for the same reason.
Oh well.
I think that's been going on for thousands of years.
Someone online, Germany really can't stop symmetrically abusing children, can they?
Systematically, not symmetrically.
I don't know how I read that.
Get one Cronenberg down me, I can't read.
Baystapes says, Callum, weissnicht means don't know in German.
Ah, okay.
Alright, not white party.
They're a whole different group of guys.
X, Y and Z. Far out.
Of all the things the Germans didn't learn from their history, it wasn't to avoid the Weimar conditions, the people won't seek Weimar solutions.
Again, another thing I thought about including in my segment, but if I said that, I thought it might make me sound like I was agreeing that the Nazi solutions were a good solution, which they were not.
Controversial, I know.
Don't look at me so skeptically.
No, I was going to ask.
Have you seen the Alex Jones drama recently?
Oh yeah, he said Hitler was a bad guy and then loads of people were like, in the replies.
Jackson Hinkle's fans, which I can't think of anyone I hate more in terms of just, you're not even interesting, Jackson Hinkle.
He'll literally just pop out propaganda bullshit because he wants cliques.
He's not interested in the truth.
Well, you know, the political commentary sphere is absolutely rife with that sort of thing, isn't it?
It really frustrates me, actually, that all these people, you know, they're not actually trying to be accurate with The way the world is and communicate it to their followers in a responsible way.
It's just signaling.
I'm the best.
You know, I epitomize the values of my group membership.
Aren't I the best?
It's basically virtue signaling and loads of commentators on the right do that as well.
His group isn't even like right wing.
It's this weird accumulation of like, he now supports the Soviet Union, the United States, China, North Korea.
It's just like, what are you doing, man?
He just support everyone at this point.
Who does he not support?
That's how you end up with I love Hitler.
As you notice on Brandeis, it's just like, right, you, you, you, you... Okay.
Right.
At least be consistent.
Like, you can't love the Soviet Union and Hitler.
Pick one.
At least.
On that front.
Surely.
Do I have to pick one?
I mean, you can pick neither, but at least pick one!
You can't pick both!
I guess the Soviet Union, then.
At least it's interesting.
Cringe.
What do you mean, cringe?
Ah, pick the other one.
Why not?
Just because you're leaving, Calum!
Yeah, maybe Nick Dickson was right.
Geordie Swordsman says, next week's headlines today, AFT candidates caught with forgery of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies by Van Klumpf.
I really want someone to make it like a nice classical painting, make it really beautiful and just say, lady with big boobies, really childish title.
I don't know why it would be satisfying.
I just find, although I do prefer sort of romantic style art, I find how much people venerate it annoying.
So I want someone to kind of mock them a bit.
I don't know.
I'm very pedantic.
Do you want to be mocked by someone for your taste in art?
You're making it sound like some sort of weird fetish.
Yeah, you want an art dominatrix.
I'm saying other people fetishize it far too much.
You want to watch someone else get dominatrixed on their opinions on art.
Well, just Tom Descended, really.
But no, I look at that and think, oh, that's nice.
That looks good.
I'll have a look at it for a bit and then look at something else.
Then they're like, oh, the art in the past was just so fantastic and the art now is so terrible.
It's like, Well, sure.
It doesn't need to be communicated quite like that.
You know, there was some bad art in the past.
It just doesn't get seen.
It's the same with music.
Like there's a ton of bad music that was released in say the fifties and sixties.
It's just that it doesn't bleed down to today because no one's interested in passing it on.
Unless it's Adam Bomb Baby.
That's a banger though.
Shut up.
Shut up Rocket 69 Which Fallout songs are best?
Rocket 69.
Any that are not Fallout 4 That's true.
Yeah, I want to do a... You know, we'll ask the chat whether we should do a Lads Hour on Fallout.
Yeah, I'm down for it.
Because I'm so salty about the... What would you call it?
There's a... So you know how there's fans of a series?
And then there are people that turn up who are brand new and then want to change the thing?
So a lot of people call them tourists.
In 40k, obviously, you want to make female custodians, like you're a tourist to the fandom.
You're not an actual fan.
I've got a similar feeling with the people who love Fallout 76 and 4.
I just don't get it.
We're just worlds apart.
The only way that Fallout 4 is good is if you mod it to High Hell and turn it into a sandbox survival game.
Then it's good.
Yeah, Karl says the same shit about Rome Total War 2 and I'm just like, nope.
I'm not doing this.
I quite like Rome 2, I'm not gonna lie.
That's fine, you know, but it's just we like different things.
Well, I like a lot of Total War games, I just like the format, alright?
Alright.
I understand that it could be better, I'm very excited for Man of Lords.
I'm hoping it can kill Total War, even though it's not really an equivalent, but still!
Anyway, we've got comments to read, we're talking about games.
Funny how.
Fun is needed.
Right, Geordie Sausman says, as Sir Terry Pratchett said, if there was a cave somewhere in the middle of nowhere that had a button labelled End of World Button, Do Not Push, then the paint wouldn't even have the time to dry.
That is true, yeah.
Good reference as well.
I'm going to start putting up doorbells in random parts of the English woods and just see if people can put... Let's have a little camera.
There's a sort of phenomenon where people put random stuff in woods.
Like, I remember exploring a random woods and just find... You know, it was basically untouched by man.
And in the middle of nowhere, there was just a toilet.
Unplumbed, obviously.
It wasn't plumbed in.
Was it a vase with shit in it or no shit in it?
That's a Pilkington reference, isn't it?
No, there was no excrement in it actually, just a bit of leaf and mud because it had been there for a while.
It was just like, who dragged the toilet all the way out to here just to leave it for no reason?
That's fly-tipping to the next level.
But anyway, carry on.
Animosity says, can confirm that groups of British men, over four people, are now banned from many pubs in Prague.
Many have signs saying that stag parties and hen-doos are also not welcome in these bars.
Specifically British?
I don't blame them.
To be fair, like, Stag Doos and Hen Doos are some of the most debauched versions of the British night out as well.
Like, it's sort of understood that you've got to get to the point of nearly vomiting, if not vomiting, otherwise you're not a team player and you're not invited ever again to anything like that.
I'll tell you, one of my brothers is just shit.
Just going out, just getting drunk in Tenerife is just I went on My Cousin's Stag Do and it was really good.
We went to the Royal Ascot Horse Race and I won some money.
And then we went to the Comedy Store in London and went to a casino and I won some more money.
Yeah, but that's not just getting drunk for three days in a row.
Well, I got drunk as well.
Alright.
But I also did other things.
I went to Tenerife and all they did was drink.
Three days, just drinking.
From the morning till night.
The thing is, I quite like drinking, and even I don't like doing that.
You've got to have a break.
Even at music festivals, when being sober is like you've failed as a human being, I still have days where I'm just like, I'm going to ease off the booze, maybe just have a couple, and have a sensible night, and then enjoy it the next day.
Because if it all bleeds together, it becomes boring.
There we are, drink responsibly.
We'll end this off with one last comment.
So the M, the letter M is for mental illness, did it?
Has commented, if a doorbell rings in a forest and nobody is there to answer it, did the Russian die?
So there we are.
On that bombshell.
It's time to end the show.
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