A Behind the Scenes Look into a MugClub Morning - How We Torture Gerald
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Hey, Christ.
What you doing?
I'm fasting, Bernie.
You know, if you were to endorse me for leader of the free world, everyone could be fasting all the time.
Screw.
Believe me, I know.
Jesus, I'd like you to think about joining me.
We can spread matching uniforms and crippling taxes across the world.
You mean stealing?
Democratic.
Stealing.
So stealing.
No democratic socialism.
I'm okay.
I'm gonna go back to fasting.
What if I were to give you free health care?
Free health care, really?
Yes!
Except you'd have to pay for it.
I'm not interested in any way, shape, or I could interest you in an assortment of Dreidol Dreidols.
Look, I've had enough.
I don't want any of your shit.
The persnickety Jew, I see.
Do you like free speech?
Very much so.
We're fresh out, but we do have some of these.
I can do this all day.
Yeah, I'm okay.
Wait, wait, shh!
Endless possibilities!
Can't I'll make you do this song, Duda!
Duda!
What about free health care?
I'm gonna.
Oh, oh, and Jesus.
Yeah, what they if you're truly God's son, and I'm not saying you are not, then jump down from this mountain.
Orly the angels won't owe my letter.
Click Rumble Premium and join now for $99 annually or $9.99 a month to get the entirely ad-free experience and an ever-expanding roster of content, creators, and free speech.
For today.
Glad to be with you.
It's uh Friday, so it's Friday, so it's still 11 a.m. Friday, and uh, this is just but this is usually just a love letter to uh to the mug club to OG to Rumble Premium, yeah, because you guys always get this Friday, other people don't.
And sometimes it's a grab bag, you don't know what's gonna happen.
And we have a lot of stuff that we didn't use that rightfully shouldn't see the light of day, but we've decided I mean, I guess.
So it's time for a scrapyard.
Scrapyard, Captain Morgan.
How are you, sir?
I am fantastic.
That's actually only the second crappiest intro we have, or Stinger, I should say.
Mine is.
No, yours is top three.
Yours is top three.
I think that if you polled the masses, they would strongly disagree with you.
And I think that deserves an admonishment.
It's just already.
Nessie, look, Tim's too busy.
Tim's too busy.
Well, that's up to fucking.
He's never too busy for admonishment.
We make the time.
How are you doing?
We'll hold on for a minute.
I'm all right.
And then, what?
Hold on.
What'd you say?
No.
I said we would hold on for a while.
It's a scrapyard, guys.
Let's be honest.
We really prepare.
I mean, you see the little pro, you see the references every day.
And then scrapyard, we're like, you know, let's just do what everybody else does, which is they prepare nothing.
But in this case, it's still actually a catalog of a bunch of other content that we have prepared, that we prepared, but we never ran.
So you actually get to see all the work that went into either something awful or mediocre or rightfully should never have been aired.
And not underscore Firestein because you're not on X.
Yes, not underscore Firestein on X. That's not me at somebody else.
And yeah, Josh underscore Firestein on Instagram.
There you go.
I'm on Facebook too.
I don't know how to send you there, but I've reached the point of paranoia because someone sent me a screen grab of me doing this, and then when I stop, it looks like my nipples.
And they said, stop grabbing the nips.
I'm doing this because my shirt rides.
We got to get rid of this chair.
No, I like it.
This chair is like, it's like sticky tack.
I can't move.
Really?
It hikes up the crotch.
All right.
Yeah, not a lot of crotch room in that chair.
No, if I move.
I've been saying that about that chair.
If I slide forward, it pulls back the crotch to my pants.
It's like there's this chair should be.
All right, let's go to the first scrapy.
I'm going to go to the blue balls all day.
Yeah, it's because of their dark blue jeans.
The circulation they're being choked out.
Yeah, well, it doesn't help that I dye them with wild blueberries.
Well, all natural.
That's how Native Americans used to dye their textiles.
Oh, really?
With blueberries?
You're so stupid, Gerald.
All right.
It's a power move.
Yeah, I bet you he uses red vibe or whatever.
Yeah.
You can give it your kids can.
Well, thanks.
See my ass.
All right.
Sounds like he'd already done that.
That's why it was voice.
What's the first one we have here?
Okay.
All right.
So, you know, we often have like a few.
By the way, we also have BTS today.
That's what kids call it.
Behind the scenes.
Uh-oh.
Oh, a little inside look.
Yeah.
It's got drip.
Stop it.
So we often have like a few watch and react options.
Now, when we do that, though, we actually pick content that we think is interesting or amusing or we can contribute to in some meaningful way, as opposed to, you know, just like you see a lot of watch and reacts now, which is just someone watching.
Like, that's it.
That's all it is.
Comment, subscribe.
Like, why would I do that ever?
So we have a few.
And then sometimes, for some reason, that just become a cursed segment.
Here was an option B.
That was an option B so many times we decided it wasn't worth a regular show.
Oh, no.
So now it is.
It was a sculpture called Trauma Slut from this artist.
Her name is Trauma Slut, and she's in a place of submission.
She's waiting, delicately placed, yet poised and confident, waiting whatever is about to be.
This is art.
I'm Precious the Koimon.
This is gravity.
Precious the Koi Mon.
Protect me and those I love are myself.
We're separated from their utopia.
We can't access these bears.
It looks like rape.
Yeah, it doesn't look like a real utopia.
It's a pool of milk and honey that is coming out from this rock.
It looks like a rape chalk line.
It looks like sour cream on cream corn.
I've never seen them in my work and having to deal with childhood psychology, a place of innocence.
Yeah, innocence.
Hanging.
I think innocence.
This is the first time I'm making these dioramas.
They are hand-painted.
But that looks like a first time.
Glass stacked together to make an image.
I wanted them to feel like you were kind of walking into this world.
I want to leave.
Yeah, I'm just walking out of this.
I love, by the way, that was like, it wasn't even stained glass, like, you know, majestic stained glass.
It's like a cheap, like, paintball place.
And they're like, bring your friend, get two free sessions.
They just marker it.
Ah, yeah, like on the window.
Like your kid drew on it.
Yeah, like the snow stuff that you use at Christmas that you can't scrape off.
That's all it was.
Yeah, it looks like the outside of an old electronics store.
Yeah, exactly.
Why is he?
He's going out of business.
Here's a flower.
Yeah, here's clearance.
And you're like, you've been in clearance for five years.
One of these days it'll work.
So I think the bit was something like, hey, this is like some perverse version of Teddy Bear Picnic.
Oh.
If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise.
For every man that ever met was will gather there for certainly cuss.
Two days the day the teddy bears at the OG.
Why didn't we use that?
It was well done.
If we could travel back in time and ask me, I'm sure I had a reason.
There's probably good ones.
I could have given you some rationale.
I think I remember that being your idea.
Yeah.
No, it was my idea.
And I did not like it.
That was awesome.
I was like, this is one of those bad ideas.
Yeah, we're like, no, but it's fine.
A bad no.
Different.
Sure.
Well, the thing is, it's less offensive than her actual bear raping.
Yeah, it was hard to beat that.
Yeah.
You didn't sexualize the bears.
She did.
And you just proved a point.
And the worst thing was, all these bears were putting like poised and sexy and confident.
Why is it in a diaper?
Yeah.
I know.
Was that a sexy baby bear?
What's wrong with you?
Yeah, exactly.
It's just, it's, I mean, I don't know what the air, what the bear age of consent is.
It's probably.
I would imagine you should be potty trained.
How many, what is what is the bear year ratio?
Dogs are seven years.
I don't know.
But I'm not going to lie to you.
I think they crap while they do it.
You ever see bears fight?
You ever see bears fight?
Like two girls are just like, oh, and they're like, it's a good time to take a shit right here.
And they're fighting.
And then there's.
Oh, yeah.
They're ripping off fur.
That's a power move.
I've done the same thing.
Yeah.
They gained speed.
Yeah, that's how we act.
That's actually won the battle of Marja.
Oh, man.
Yeah, we just started defecating.
Yeah, we just rolled in and said, hey, what's up?
That's how you went.
Is that Custer's Last Squeal?
Custer's last squeal.
Yeah, don't you remember that famous naval battle, Dumpter?
No.
Because you know, D-Day stands for Dump Day.
The Battle of Getty's Turd Four score and seven shits ago.
These woods were a smelly place.
I told you, I was telling Lane the Brain because he grew up on a farm.
I asked him if you ever had donkeys.
I took the kids to a pumpkin patch.
Oh, boy.
And they were like, ah, you go around, you feed the animals.
And they say, yeah, we're going to feed these.
You can feed these donkeys.
And there was one that was called marshmallow.
And it was the only donkey that was, it wasn't gray.
It had like a white kind of swirl pattern.
And my two kids go, I want to feed marshmallow.
Well, that sounds like what could go wrong.
And then he's like, yeah, see, there's these donkeys.
And he goes, marshmallow is kind of new.
And three other donkeys turn around and line up right next to it and just, and just bang, bang, bang, bang, blah.
Whoa.
And fur goes flying, and I see blood start leaking down.
And then they move on.
He's like, yeah, they haven't accepted him as a part of this patch yet.
And my kids just standing there with stale bread.
Like, you think marshmallow's okay?
I'm like, he probably needs bread more now than ever.
Five minutes later, the other donkeys come up with a broomstick.
Welcome to the frat, bro.
Marshmallow, come out to play.
It was just awful.
Just horrifying.
That's crazy.
So whenever vegans say animals aren't as cruel as human beings, come on.
May I present the donkeys?
You've never seen nature.
No, no.
I guess they're really badass to it, fighting off wolves.
This is where someone's going to be like, I can't believe I used to think you were smart.
I can't believe you didn't know that donkeys are the guardian of the farm.
They are?
Oh, yeah.
They donkey kick, and they're also a great alarm system.
Like, donkeys are, they don't care.
They'll just go.
They'll just go to town.
I saw if they did the marshmallow.
One of their own.
And they don't even hate him.
That's because he wasn't.
You're saying a donkey is the best protection for your farm?
Oh, yeah.
I would argue a Claymore mine.
That's true.
That's true, too.
Well, but that's kind of like a fox getting just obliterated.
The great Pyrenees walking back.
I don't know what happened.
Jeez, I was walking up to this thing.
I licked it.
Boom.
All right.
Here's the next one.
We did a time to close.
Do you remember Jimmy Kimmel?
He had to kind of like he was fired, but not really.
It was temporary because he egregiously lied to his whole audience about Charlie Kirk shooter.
Here's a refresher.
We had some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them.
Yeah, and then he was indefinitely pulled off the air from ABC.
Definitely was like, what, five days?
Yeah, it was like five days.
We wrote a joke that morning that it turns out a lot of people were already telling.
So we figure if you're not going to make the joke first, you shouldn't tell it or save it for the premium members.
So ABC has, so go back in time.
ABC has already found a replacement host to fill Kimmel's time slot.
And then it was him as a black as a blackface.
It's him as Carl Malone, Blackface.
Carl Malone famously impregnated a 14-year-old and he gets the second, third, fourth, fifth chance.
Yeah, I didn't, what, Kimmel or Malone?
Malone.
But then Kimmel also got a second, third chance because he also did Oprah in Blackface and Fatface.
Oh, I did not know that.
He did Malone.
He did Oprah, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, well, they didn't, I didn't even know about that one.
We could have done that joke.
Point is they all get chances except for us.
So that's true.
But this is a room full of very white guys.
We can't do it.
I get it.
I'm fairly white.
No, you're very white.
All right.
Look at that control.
Look at that.
Let's just go to the control bay there where Toolman, I love how he shows Josh.
Yeah.
That is like casting call, basic white guy.
Oh, look, good.
There's three of them.
Yeah.
Billy.
Billy's one bed from being in a trailer park with meth.
Yeah.
We didn't get the DEI.
You all look like you're in an audition room for like a one-line speaking role on a sitcom where a guy goes like, oh, I didn't want them moving into the neighborhood.
And by then, we're talking about Jimmy Kimmel.
There you go.
Oh, that's fantastic.
You know what?
It looked like if they were a band, they wouldn't be the Supremes.
They'd be the supremacists.
Yes, they would.
Yes.
All right.
By the way, download the Rumble app.
Follow me there.
That's the best way to stay in touch.
Yeah.
Here's the next scrapyard thing.
Do we think, I mean, Josh, also, if there's some here that we think, because we have so much that we think is best.
What's this?
This was a black leftist versus 20 black conservatives.
All right, let's go.
So I'm not.
It's all that.
Scrap it.
Apparently, he's not a TriCaster supremacist.
There's no scrapyard scrapyard.
Okay, this is it.
It's the end of the line for it.
Okay.
I'm not saying Jewelman, who should be condemned totally.
Yes.
But outside of that, there were very fine people in that studio.
So it was Amanda Seals.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
She made an appearance on Surrounded, and it was titled One Black Radical versus 20 Black Conservatives.
And for those of you who've forgotten this, it went about as you would expect.
I'm not sure where your education came from when they lied to you.
I hope some of y'all are acting.
I really do.
I knew I was going to be surrounded by ignorance, but damn.
Bitch, man.
And my points are just a matter of time.
I knew you were going to be dressed like Finn Bed, but a church of Christ pin on your chest.
It's not a church of Christ.
Whatever.
It's a cross.
Same difference.
You got an American flag and you think you know something because you a cop.
And ultimately, not a cop, ultimately, it's a cab all day over here.
So let me make that clear.
Dude, I'm being direct to you, but you're literally not speaking this, and you're not going to do that with me either.
So you're saving your point.
Y'all just want to be seen.
I don't need to be seen.
You're currently still stuck in an indoctrination.
I still don't know who she is.
I'm not going to be able to get into thinking that you are something that you are not.
I have not had-you know, first of all, you're a light skin woman.
So are you?
Yes, and you're doing great color as yourself.
You have a skin tone like Mr. Burns.
He does serve us.
Oh my God, this is scary.
You need to think about me as y'all mama.
Do not talk to me in that fashion.
So let's check that now.
What?
Oh, I get it.
She thought she was a man.
Yes.
I'm going to control this and tell you not to talk to me.
That's why it's so silly.
It's like, you will not talk to me that way.
I kind of will.
Yeah.
You need to talk to me like I'm your mama.
My mom is the white part of me.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
The better part.
Theoretically, if I choose to talk to you like this, how are you going to stop me?
By the way, just be clear, I didn't mean better part because she was white.
I meant because she was a fine mother.
Yes.
Of course.
Yeah.
Being white lends itself to that.
Now, what you didn't get to see.
This is a problem.
I'm in here.
And then I pander to the white supremacist.
That's why I felt that's the problem.
That's the white supremacist over there.
Not you.
Not you.
Well, your pointing wasn't very precise.
Yeah, but come on, just get over it.
I mean, if the clan was going to elect a leader, yeah, it wouldn't be one of them.
It'd be Gerald.
Yeah, but they would be elected.
Yeah, they'd be electing him.
It'd be those three, like, Gerald, will you, will you lead us the live stream bae to the promised land?
Wait a minute.
That's them three.
Led to the promised land.
Yeah, I don't know.
Of milk and honey and no Negroes.
Milk and honey and trauma sluts.
Trauma bears.
I really, yeah, no, I get the diaper and the sex.
When I have sex, I think I really need to take a shit on my bears.
All right, so now you guys are too far.
You guys are too far from the mantra.
So I'm not.
I'm right here.
It's right there.
I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
We said, well, you didn't get to see.
Oh, yeah.
It was this next Photoshop.
They tried a conservative against 30 leftists, but it turned out about how you'd expect.
Oh, God.
Oh, okay.
I know why that one didn't go on air.
I'm not sure.
That's just a pornography cover.
I think that might have been a movie that John watched.
No.
And then he was like, let's put that in the show.
Definitely wasn't mostly me.
Is this next one?
I'm trying to see.
Is this next one a 9-11 joke?
Is that why we didn't do it?
I see it's Islam.
It might be.
Maybe.
It's possible.
Every now and then.
I don't think this is the 9-11 joke.
Wait, There's like.
Oh.
Yeah, I don't even think that one is scrapyard.
I think that one is just.
Actually, why are we even talking about it?
No, I'm not.
No, no, this wasn't about 9-11.
It's not about 9-11.
It's not about 9-11.
It's about love and Islam.
I dreamt it, and then you two had the same dream.
We did.
And then we met and we said, let's just never talk about that dream.
No, Charlie Kirk came to me in a dream and told me a joke.
And I was like, we can't.
We can't tell that.
We're like, Charlie, you've developed an acid tongue in Dreamland.
It's weird.
So recently we covered.
Just show the clip, son of a bitch.
I'm trying to find solace in my faith, but how can I make peace with such heartbreak?
Just bitch.
Friends gave me an idea.
They sent me a bunch of searching Islam stories of love for answers to questions we all ask, which unravel the secrets of the Taj Mahal.
Illuminated a little-known story about Malcolm X and demonstrated how love can change the world.
Show the tramplings.
It's not just an emotion, it's a force.
What can it's like a sword?
We love very forceful.
Yeah, it chops your head off if you don't love.
Every heart breaks, and your heart must break.
But what a difference there is between a heart that merely breaks and a heart that breaks open.
On the floor.
What does that mean?
At least she's honest.
Right there with you, lady.
Yeah.
Sounds so stupid.
Yeah.
That sounded more like a plan.
Yeah.
All you do is sit around and say, I will break your heart.
Eat it in front of you.
What does that mean?
I feel like you're not getting this.
I'm being pretty honest.
So we plan to tag on a few clips to make fun of some other expressions of love in Islam.
Of course, there are a bunch of rape things because that's it, but we didn't.
Don't worry.
We cut it down before scrapping it entirely because it just got too sad before we made it to the funny part, which may or may not come, honestly.
Now, looking back at this segment, I have no idea.
So, also included in back in time, also included in Muslim love.
I forget what this clip's going to be, so I don't just go with it.
fashion it's a it's a new kind of vest That's the pickup square I'm quoting.
The face of a martyr.
He seems to have only blown himself up.
Yeah, it doesn't.
He didn't make it to Paris.
No, or Prague?
I don't know.
It was a prank.
You understand why it's you understand why they were hazing him?
Yeah, the donkey shows that they were hazing the new terrorist.
Yeah, they blew him up too.
Right.
Art reflects life.
Yeah.
So the love of fashion.
That one was a miss.
Their love of spectacles.
Oh, my God.
That was a big firework.
I don't know.
And then, finally, their love of zoology.
Oh.
Love is all around me.
I saw the feeling right before.
Oh, okay.
You know what?
Looking back, I would have made it through the forest to reach the promised land.
It was worth the sad because I particularly find it amusing when they have sex with a donkey.
It's a goat.
Or a goat, I think.
Yeah, you don't want to mess with a donkey.
I saw what they did in a marshmallow.
It'd get kicked.
Goats put up too much of a fire.
I'm sorry, donkeys.
Let me see.
What's this scrapyard?
Let me see.
What do we have?
What do we have?
What are we thinking?
Oh, yeah, the Mussolini thing.
Okay, all right.
All right.
There's a Mussolini one, yeah.
I don't know what it is.
So we'll skip the Guatemala Congresswoman.
There's no clip there, so why not?
It's just fine.
Yeah.
I'm running down to Never Do a Scrap Yard Again.
Okay.
All right.
And then scrap that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what?
I changed my mind, bitch.
So funny.
None of this could make Airbus unless we put it all together.
Yeah, exactly.
These are like subprime loans.
That's why it's like when people ask me, like, oh, Nick Fuentes, I'm like, look, I disagree with him a lot, but like, I know what it feels like to get sandbagged or maligned because I was that for years.
And then I do this and I'm like, I should have been that.
This is why.
What you see before you right now.
Hey, Joke.
Did you say this?
I'm like, no.
And then they play the clip.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that was a suicide bombing thing.
No, I know, because now we do this.
Now someone goes, did you say this?
And you go, no.
Well, no, because we actually scrapped that.
We scrapped it.
We didn't say it.
We scrapped it.
If anything, we should be given credit for our discernment.
Yes, allies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Heroes.
Yes, exactly.
Not like you, the Axis.
Back in July, the Democrats held a youth summit hosted by a furry.
That's a real thing.
Yeah.
No one showed up, but yours truly did make an appearance.
What the f is up?
Let's go.
It's like a South Part cable.
I don't think that this will be super necessary because you all seem really cool, smart, and who the fk are we and why are we here in a panda head?
And I also have had a long-term feud with former presidential candidate Marianne Williamson because she sucks.
Memes change people's minds.
Hey, there you are.
So what's a meme, huh?
Come on, people.
Look alive.
Oh, you mean you didn't liven them up with your ultra-topical Marianne Williamson thing?
Didn't even do any kung fu.
Yeah.
But let me break out my impression of Nixon.
He should have cussed more.
It's really edgy.
It makes more.
That's how I know they're real.
So we put together a couple of our own memes, but just said like, no.
So, but now we said, yeah.
So might as well.
They didn't know, but some of the attendees actually did recognize my image and found it, of course, to be in poor taste.
but not as bad as the bad luck Mussolini me.
So goofy.
Well, we cut that because Bad Luck Brian is kind of like early, like 20 teens, but this did make air.
Or the none of my business Hitler.
So that's the one that you saw.
Is that just none of my business?
I just keep it.
I hope that's more, but I bombs a Lipton factory.
Oh, no.
That was unfortunate.
I guess it's a different tea from a different company.
Luziam.
There's one called like, oh, Typhoo for me.
That's an Irish.
I don't know what I'm getting.
You're forgetting brisk, baby.
Brisk.
That's brisk.
Get in there.
All right.
Get in there.
Bob those factories.
What is this?
Government shutdown.
Okay.
All right.
We'll do this one.
Did we talk you into it?
I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
This is scrapyard.
You guys can make it more fun, too.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm not the one complaining.
It's illegal grumpy pants.
Yeah, I know.
It's all it's talking about.
Yeah, the white supremacist peanut gallery.
It's methrow.
Yeah.
They're like the white supremacist Muppet hecklers.
Like, oh, these are terrible jokes.
Oh, you're ashamed of your race.
You're ashamed of any race.
Hell.
A little Muppet arm.
All right.
Does that make the Muppet racist or the person controlling them?
I don't know if you know this.
Muppets aren't real.
All right, here we go.
Are we sure?
I'm not sure about anything.
Did you just want to make me sure?
Yeah, let's do it.
You know what?
You guys, you guys, I hope you enjoy the unemployment line because when I lose my self-confidence, no one eats.
That's true, but you should be confident.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah.
Give it a world.
Yeah, that's a participation trophy.
It helps zero.
I know I just took an L. Exercise.
The worst group in the country.
I don't remember if this was an all.
It was tagged on to some story.
So from educators, they're the worst.
From pre-K to college, everywhere in between.
Believe me, ignore what you just saw.
They're worse than anyone else, including us.
They're mourning a literal fascist who hated gay people and minorities and spent every waking moment and every ounce of his energy spreading hatred.
Bears?
Oh.
Oh.
I think we like saw karma octagons.
So we're talking about Charlie Kirk.
A college of Sequoia student took this video.
Yeah, I hope everyone of his family dies and their children and their grandchildren and their grandchildren and they're going to kill him to eternity.
The student who wants to remain the same father them and then you're going to have a biology class.
And then you watch the assassination of Kirk on loop for an hour.
Tell me that wasn't karma doing her finest book.
Whoever hit your face wasn't.
Whoever her neck ran off to.
He was a white supremacist.
He died tragically and was still a terrible person and flag should not be flown at half mats.
This isn't just a case of white on white crime.
It's white gangs versus other white gangs.
White supremacy and specifically white cis males are the biggest threat to our country.
And sadly, it's always been like that.
I say all of this as a white cis male, as a parent of two white sons, as a national board certified history teacher.
Poor kids.
So first off, if anyone refers to themselves as cis, they're ironically probably a faggot.
Faggot!
That's true.
Does National Board certified history teacher really need to be said?
Yeah, I don't know.
You say National Board certified?
What do you mean?
What is this?
The difference between a Corolla that's Toyota certified?
Right.
Do you know if this faggot is approved by the National History Association?
I don't know.
Nobody knows.
So here's the thing.
When this happened with Charlie Kirk, because obviously we do, you know, as we do a comedy show, like we wrote a bunch of jokes in dealing with the left.
And then we know that a lot of conservatives would say like, oh, you're making light of it.
And so a lot of things were just scrapped.
But of course, this is how we deal with everything.
This is how we deal with anything that's traumatic.
And really, hopefully, people being adults, you can understand the context that that's evil to actually show children an assassination video and then speak from what resembled like her neck hole.
Like she looked like she was someone who had a tracheotomy, that lady.
Geez.
I don't know where I'm going.
I'm pretty sure her neck hole is filled with pie.
Yes.
Shut your pie hole.
Okay, you know that's a low-board.
This hole has taken the only thing I love.
What happened to you, Paul Malls?
No, Entemens.
Bye.
Bye.
That's our lamenting pie.
So, you know, you had a Canadian teacher who showed 10-year-olds a video of Charlie Kirk's assassination, said that Charlie Kirk deserved it and lectured kids on trans issues and anti-fascism.
And so I think we wrote, this is what we wrote.
The teacher allegedly showed Charlie Kirk's assassination video to 10 and 11-year-olds, told students that he deserved, quote, to be killed.
It was the first video lesson in a curriculum series of video lessons titled, They Deserved It.
Yeah, see, there you go.
So actually, that's venerating Charlie Kirk, but it was just we were like, yeah, it's not funny enough.
We got our 9-11 joke in there.
We didn't get a 9-11 joke in there.
And by the way, all of these three joke.
All of these were undeserved.
That's the theme.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess the best way to get out of this is, you know what?
Oh, kids love the BTS, not the Korean pop band.
They're all cis.
I think they're all 40 now.
Let's go to who can tell.
What are you saying, Josh?
I don't know.
It's like they look 20 until they're 90, and then they look like the crypt.
Let's go to BTS.
Need to have a conversation.
Yeah, remember that when someone was like, we're going to tape, and we've had people want to come in and do documentaries.
Like, yeah, we want to tape run through.
Not so much.
Remember when one guy was here, who shall remain nameless, nice guy, actually.
And he said, Yeah, no, I don't want, maybe we shouldn't do that because I don't want people seeing you joking about like Indians sucking on their mom's tits.
I was like, oh no, that made air.
That was real.
That was on air.
You're conflating run through.
Run through was worse.
That was Rosh Hashanah.
Rajasthan.
Rajasthan.
That's not Rajashan.
Sorry.
Rajasthan.
Rajasthan?
Yeah, India.
In Rajasthan during Rosh Hashanah.
Oh, okay.
By the way.
They hushed that mama.
Good news.
Toolman's mother has legally adopted me, so I'm halfway.
You're halfway there.
Halfway there.
You just had a few dates to my spite suckle.
You need a Hallmark Christmas movie.
You're on your way.
I told him it's the worst.
Like, I'm not good at keeping secrets.
Like, if it's a matter of life or death, fine.
But people here know, like, don't, don't tell Stephen because then it's going to be in his head.
And I was giving Tim, I was roasting just for some reason about his mom.
Like, I'm going to have your mom legally adopt me so that I can marry your sister so that then I have to breastfeed and I'm going to convert to Hinduism.
And he was like, don't say that because my mom watches the show.
And I was like, I said, okay.
And then the very first thing, I don't even think we got to the rundown.
I'm like, Rajash, Mom, stands.
Because it's in my head.
It's like, Matt.
Here's the light up.
Timple's up next.
So do we have the run-through song?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the top one.
Okay.
Okay.
So here's speaking of run-through.
Again, I'm parenting, because what happened?
My shirt is riding up.
So it's my crime.
You too.
So actually, Billy the Kid, who operates a sound here, and you know when he misses a speaker.
Yes.
I'm like, Billy.
Billy.
But he actually has taken it upon himself.
So we do run through about, well, we do it a little while before the show.
Whoever has to get in here, we go through the stories and we kind of, you know, we decide what should be, for example, scrapyarded, like you just saw.
And sometimes, you know, we were less formal.
I don't want to say less formal, but sometimes I was late and people were late because we would like running.
So we go, okay, we have to start on the second, right, run through at this time.
And actually, Billy the Kid on sound, he just created on his own, of his own volition, these songs that are played.
So picture this.
These songs are played over the speakers across this whole office and studio space to let people know that it's time to come to run through.
So I don't know how many songs are in here, but here's, I guess, a remix and see if you notice a theme.
And honestly, it brightens up everyone's morning because he comes up with a new one maybe about every week or so and just gets added to the queue.
And we never miss run-through anymore.
good job I think this is the first one, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now.
Y'all ready for this?
Guys are gay.
I was struggling to imagine someone inside me.
Runthroom coming in on the sofa.
I love this one.
Yeah, yeah.
How'd it change if she ever found out?
I'm not a boob guy.
Do it now.
Come in and run through.
Get in here.
Do it.
I need to feel your touch.
I'm going to run through.
I'm going to run through.
Mana.
Oh yeah.
I really don't know that I want the Negroes on this side of town.
I'm a little racist.
This is one of my favorites.
Bring me your dream.
Make him the cutest.
First pup is free.
Can you milk me?
I can't play the camp with my penis.
Just in the time.
Quickly.
I hear the drop-through.
It's rolling around the fence.
And I ain't seen the sunshine since.
I am looking to find a man.
And it's ending.
And you're like, oh, wow, that's not so bad.
Oh, yeah.
Hold your holes.
No, I'm going to spit it out.
It's a Friday run-through.
I want to ride his train.
By the way, I just thought of one.
I got a suggestion for you to mess with.
All right.
Let's keep it covert because those are fun.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
They are fun.
That's why I was saying, like, this is not the right place for everyone to work.
No, I think that's only half of them.
That's only half of you.
That was a lot of them.
I got 26 of them.
It started innocently enough.
We collaborated on one.
That's a marathon.
That's a marathon of run-through.
You know, it's like a locker room.
It's a pep talk.
And he's like, you know what?
I've got all these audio.
I could just throw that out context endlessly.
That's why when people go, you see like a hit piece and people are like, and he said this.
I'm like, you're not going to understand the answer to why we did this in this workspace.
What did he say about Negroes?
Did he really tell the black people to discover it?
Yeah.
The whole idea of the run-through song was Gerald's idea in the first place.
So this is what happens when Gerald produces it.
Oh, exactly.
Yeah.
It's one of those things.
Like, if you think you're going to get one up on someone else, you're like, oh, I know.
I'll suggest a run-through song.
I'll be safe because it's my suggestion.
You know what I'm saying?
Here you go.
It says a lot about Gerald's faith in Billy because he even recorded some of that.
Yes, that's true.
The run-through part?
He's like, Billy, you'll never do anything with those.
Oh, my gosh.
I wish we had that footage.
Like, Gerald with, you know, the one earphone, like, we are the world, Mike.
No, I was just sitting there.
Didn't like.
Can you milk me?
And Bob Dylan never shows up.
I thought this was like a whole collab.
All right.
And sometimes I'm trying to think, it's going to be hard for me to focus on anything else because now one of those are in my ass.
By the way, that Rebecca Black Friday, she caught some unneeded guff for that.
Like, she was just a kid doing a song.
She can sing.
She's come out since.
And like, really, it's a problem with her parents who had that whole thing.
That's a job song.
I think that's the point.
You know what?
I don't mind it.
I too have been known to enjoy a Friday.
I don't hate it, but it is terrible.
I like a lot of things that are terrible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
I know that about me.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
What?
Let me like some things that are terrible.
Yeah, I like some things that are terrible.
Demographic changes.
Other than this song, he doesn't mind that.
They got a big fat ass.
I mean, I don't like the way she talked to me, but I like to watch her leave.
Yeah, I don't know why you turn into Tracy Morgan.
Hey, we got a demographic change as to what is the great replacement with a big fat ass.
Watch Pierce will ask me about that next time I'm on.
You will.
So sometimes we find a way to parody like some old classic commercials, and sometimes the magic just takes over.
So in this one, Joshi definitely didn't like it.
Look at this stuff.
Some cereal.
There was a famous commercial for life cereal.
And I don't know if this was late 70s or early 80s.
The memorable saying was, Mikey, he likes it.
Hey, Mikey!
He likes it.
So we are doing a parody for 1775 coffee called Joshi Likes It.
And action.
What's this stuff?
It's 1775 coffee.
It's supposed to be good for you.
I'm fucking trying it.
Let's get Joshie.
Yeah.
He wanted funny.
He likes everything.
It still makes no bad writing, so he won't drink if he ate it.
Okay, sorry.
It really doesn't make any sense.
And Cheryl, if you could lean in more towards Steven, he's actually got his cheek on his arm for a lot of that.
I like that.
I'm just going for comfort.
Fine, guys.
He didn't flinch.
It's not the first time.
And action.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What the hell is this?
He likes it!
Yeah.
Hey, Joshi.
What?
What's up with this getup?
What are you doing?
Didn't she have break fluid?
You say next, let's make him.
Sorry.
And action.
What the hell is up with this getup?
What are you guys doing?
Let's make him drink break fluid next.
All right, I'll play along.
What is that?
It's Maxwell House.
We give him Maxwell House.
Oh, no.
Mom's going to be pissed.
Just hit one product shop with that in the background, and then we'll run.
1775 coffee.
Joshi tested.
Joshi approved.
That was fun.
Silly.
That's actually the only sponsor I think that we ever switched a specific product category, 1725, to Blackout, because I was, you know, I always wanted to, and sometimes you just go, you know, this makes me, I'm able to do my own blend, the strange animal brew, and that's kind of what I wanted all along.
So there's been a lot of supply chain issues, too, with coffee.
All right.
Oh, this next one.
One of my all-time favorite hate noodles.
This makes me wonder.
Have we ever run the obscene documentary, The Behind the Music?
We have not.
No.
Did we make those changes?
We said we did to the.
I believe, yeah, I believe we wanted some inserts, some magazine covers, and paparazzi.
Yeah, drop that in my review thing.
So we had, so this, it'll make sense.
And it won't.
So one of my favorite commercials that we did was the we did the one with a system of a down kind of parody.
Yeah, it was also 1775.
That's right.
And we made up a band.
We were like, what?
I brought Papa Roach to it.
Like that kind of limp biscuit.
I bought like a limp biscuit.
I brought that down.
Armand, whatever his name was.
I think I changed to Serge Surukian was the name of the character.
It was system of a down, you know, sort of a send-up Armanian.
And it became that metal, new metal band.
And we kind of went with the same theme, only in this case, it was a commercial for clear, but Josh and I in this one thing it was Creed.
Got carried away.
And it's similar.
The amount of work that went into this, the amount of work that went, and for people who, I know some people are going like, I don't get it, but it's worth it.
You can go and watch the original Creed video and go, oh, okay, this was spot on.
So to me, it's always funny when you put a lot of work into something that's a throwaway and you pretty much use once.
So we probably spent a little too much time and effort on this one, but I'd say the payoff was worth it.
It was.
And we were stoked, too, because we came up with this idea based.
It was solely based on the idea of dueling Scott Stapps.
Yes.
And then we kind of worked backwards from there.
We're like, oh, this would be great for clear.
Yeah.
And then we didn't have a scheduled clear spot for like three months.
I think it started with a, we were riffing and doing dueling Scott Stapps on air.
Yeah.
And then we're like, that is a million-dollar idea.
So then dueling Scott Staps, which sat on the back burner, we just said, ah, this is as good as any nasal spray.
And here is how it turned out.
Spray me now.
I six sweets and the hell of this.
Who gave me one spring?
Roll cameras, roll sound.
You see how silly this all is.
We're shooting a Creed parody.
It's going to manifest itself in the form of a Creed commercial.
Clear commercial.
I never asked for a Creed commercial.
Stop interrupting.
It's a clear commercial.
And people are interrupting.
Well, we messed it up.
It's clear.
I'm pretty sure I heard Creed.
It's a Creed commercial in the form of a Clear ad.
That just makes me know.
Favorite Creed song, Josh?
Go.
I'll put this one.
Higher.
Okay.
No.
This one's one last breath.
And action.
Can you fix my dryer?
This one refuses to dry my clothes.
Clear commercial, right?
It's a clear ad in the form of a creed parody.
There we go.
I did it.
Right?
Yeah.
Promise.
I'm sorry.
Guys, we're shooting.
All right.
They learned their lesson.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
Yeah, we just got stabbed in their face.
Scott Stapp is in the studio today.
Two of them.
Two steps are better than one.
When filming this, I got a stap infection.
Leather paint over my ass.
Look like he was doing thirst traps on Instagram.
This is right after our vacation, so you were nice and tan.
I know.
I need to get tan again.
Now?
Or I may have to see.
If I don't scream in my face, I may sneeze.
Hatchy, hatchet, hatchy, hatchet.
Oh, the callback.
I'm like, what is this?
Did we already show the side-by-side of the original creed video in another BTS?
I don't think we did because the side-by-side would have been great if we had.
Can they get that to you, Toolman?
Because we saw that at one point.
Didn't we do a side-by-side of the original creed video?
Sure.
We'll play it.
Okay, figure it out.
Oh, fuck off.
We might have done it.
We might have done it.
I think we did do it.
I mean, we did do the commercial we might have.
I don't think we did, actually.
Because we had that callback in the same episode.
Am I dreaming?
Didn't you see a side-by-side of the original video?
I think maybe it was on a social, like a social post, maybe?
Oh, okay.
Maybe there.
Maybe that makes sense.
Because everyone here did a great job.
They got it really close.
And you can see that the production, they still didn't understand what we were doing.
No, not in the middle of it.
But how, like, it's so funny.
Like, how stupid did you feel doing that?
Oh, and I felt like a rock star.
I didn't feel stupid at all.
I'm with you.
I felt great.
Yeah, I felt really good about the way things were going.
Okay.
The direction in my life.
I felt sexy?
I felt sexy.
I felt, I mean, I felt talented.
I felt a little bit immobile with the tight leather pants.
I felt like wearing puka shells for the next three months.
Yeah, well, I felt that way after doing that interview with what's his name, Tim Tim Miller?
Yeah, the bulwark.
Yeah.
Because I saw him.
I was like, oh, that makes sense.
Yeah, but he pulls off the puka shell necklace really well.
Yeah, he doesn't.
No.
Nobody does.
Nobody does.
Okay, speaking of confusing, it makes no sense.
It makes sense.
This next one.
So it was, here's how this came to be.
Josh and I separately, we watched two different documentaries about like hauntings and poltergeists.
And then after we sort of cross-referenced, we sort of checked our notes, we realized, or we felt strongly that both documentaries were missing something, namely paranormal intercourse.
And so, and then I was watching mine and I was.
It's still not going to make sense if I explain it.
No.
I was like, the way this one guy was talking about the poltergeist, she was like, and it was, I could feel it.
She was close to me.
Like, I felt it touched the back of my neck.
I was like, does this guy want to bang this ghost?
Like, that's where it came from.
And then I had said, well, I just, that's funny because I just watched a documentary on Netflix where this guy actually had his own personal medium that followed him around, called her Becky, and everyone said it was too, it was too close of a weird relationship.
Right.
And then that turned into us just joking around for 10 minutes.
What if this guy's just using a paranormal series as like his own personal Tinder?
That's true.
So Mr. Hanjob was a flyer.
It was definitely a risk.
That's what we call it here.
But it did raise, if nothing else.
There's always some value amongst other things.
Questions and perhaps a few answers about what to expect in the afterlife.
Guess what?
We've got some paranormal activity going on here at the studio.
I was haunted by this spirit called Becky.
And we're going to interview one of the subjects to find out exactly what has been plaguing this place.
Is this the subject?
No.
It's called Mr. Handjob Better than the original Original names Yes Yes.
Still keeping that one to yourself?
Yep.
Whisper it.
Okay, Mr. J pants.
Hey, there it is.
Mr. Pants.
Hey, there goes Mr. Pants.
Hey, hey, stay away from Alan.
His pants are filled with because Johnny Boy was in there.
He's in an old video camera right here.
He's a bad boy.
Yeah.
But on the couch, I was sleeping.
And about thereafter, I said yes.
Probably up, down.
It doesn't look like that.
That camera angle right there.
Doesn't that look like Roseanne's couch?
It does.
Pop him like almost ready.
Three, two, one.
Action.
She offered me a hand job.
It's kind of cool.
Yeah?
I'll just play around and then you guys can jump cut.
And I'm the first, as far as I know, to get a hack job from an above-average ghost.
I was excited.
But you'd be too, wouldn't you?
I'd have changed my phone number because everyone was calling me.
Hey, you want to talk about your job from a ghost?
No.
No, don't.
I was like, oh, I was lying back.
Like scared.
I was.
They'd have a point if I had sex with her.
I didn't.
It's got a bunch of bastard ghost children running around either.
It wasn't even oral.
I don't know how that worked with the mouth.
Was it cold?
No.
She probably enjoyed giving a proper Alan to deny her in death.
I felt warm, but that could be because of the flashing effect in the orgasm.
Relax.
You know, like that.
I tried to contact Becky with a Ouija, and the last thing I thought would happen was that I would be ghosted by a ghost.
I told him my name was Becky.
Would it be too much if you got up and you had a saying right there?
Yeah.
All right, there's a wrap.
There you go.
All right.
Come on.
The best part about that sketch is the little, the little side, the little B-roll that we made.
Yeah.
I'm so glad that so much of it didn't make air.
It still doesn't make sense.
What else am I looking at?
Better.
Yeah, we got, let me see.
This one might, this might be a little too long.
Okay, one more BTS here.
I think we have room for one more, and then we're probably gonna have to send you guys out and see you next week.
Sometimes commercials are tough.
They're tough because, you know, we try not to just do like, hey, please go to so-and-so.com and purchase this.
But sometimes the product is just, you know, so useful or sort of, I mean, it sells itself, you know, like cigarettes.
They're just so darn cool.
Cool, delicious.
They make you feel good.
There's nothing I can write that's gonna be more effective than that.
Don't smoke.
And one of those is Stop Box.
It just, it works.
It's easy.
Anyone who's had to fiddle around with like biometric safes, I mean, I have one.
It's just awful.
It's just awful.
I use it for range toy guns just to make sure, you know, that things are stored away.
Stop box is something we actually use.
We have a bunch of them here around the office.
I have them at home.
So we decided, though, okay, let's create some real world.
Because that's one thing is we're very, it's, you know, the more raw it is, the more authentic it is, the more relatable it is.
You're like, oh, I could, yeah, that would be good, wouldn't it?
So we created real-world scenarios to show you how effective they can be when you need quick access to your firearm, and that became a batch of commercials.
And give it, Chevy Pal.
Hey, Jesse.
Oh, look.
BTS.
Yeah.
You guys, you're always here.
Commercial forum.
Stop box.
We'll make a fine-planed product for housing safely and easily accessible.
your home firearm.
It's right here in this biometric safe.
Hurry.
Is that where you want me to get up?
Yes, yes, right at hurt.
Nice sleeping socks.
Don't come in.
We have a gun.
No, he doesn't.
Fat ass got chalk all over his fingers.
Not using what y'all are saying right now.
This is just for them.
I have access to the main electrical board!
Pick a card, any card.
Which?
That's right.
I'm supposed to face it towards him.
Is it the seven of hearts?
I love you in every big deal of games since 2006.
Scott, you weren't supposed to fall.
Hello, handsome.
I don't like that you moron.
I don't like that you moron.
You moron.
Okay, right.
Why are you all calling it?
Break my ass.
All right, that's a wrap on Steven Dunn.
Thank you.
This really goes.
There we go.
Also, maybe someone in the check, you can explain to me boxers.
I just don't, I don't get them.
They are anything but supportive, and people are like, I have more room.
No, it's there.
They still make boxers with a seam in the middle.
It becomes a wire.
It becomes like a cable.
You get your final destination, your ball.
I don't know about that.
How big is your set there?
Well, it's enough to be bothered by box.
I mean, boxer briefs.
Me too, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of us.
Yeah, me too.
I'm sorry if there's anyone here who wears boxers.
They're terrible.
Yeah, they still are.
Boxer briefs.
Strain me.
They're also unwedgeable.
I mean, from Nair Do Wells.
It's true.
All right.
By the way, we do have that side-by-side if you want to.
Yeah, so it's just been so long since we've done a scrap card.
We did put this together.
Yep.
And then I guess we never aired it.
Maybe we ran it on social.
So, all right, guys.
Well, we're going to see you.
I mean, I believe we're going to see you next week.
Yeah.
We'll see you next week.
We pull a candace like I'm going to see you Monday.
No, I'm not.
This is actually so you can see how close everyone here got it.
Because, you know, we write it and then we put ourselves in some silly outfits and we perform it as best we can and we have to present it.
But obviously a lot of work goes on behind the scenes and sometimes it goes unappreciated where people don't necessarily know how close of a match it is or how much work it takes to get something that's a parody that's actually a parody.
So we'll see you on Monday.
And here to play us out, a take off his new album is Sting.