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April 13, 2022 - Louder with Crowder

01:20:03

LIVE: China Lockdowns Turn Violent - Americans EVACUATED!! | Louder with Crowder

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	Do you understand why I called you here tonight?
	Look.
	I thought we were good.
	It's all in the contract.
	No.
	You're never good with the Devil Walrus.
	He's supposed to aim the gun first and then you say the walrus line after.
	Steven, you can't direct!
	You're in quarantine!
	Yeah, f*** you, Stevie!
	Yeah!
	F*** you!
	Bye.
	He's got the whole truck.
	He's got the whole truck.
	I'm going to go get some food.
	Mmm.
	I hope that's not a sponsor.
	Ahoy!
	Wow.
	That's terrible.
	Luna, did you teabag that?
	Tasted like...
	Ode to Luna?
	Balls south of the border.
	Anyway, good to be here.
	Ahoy everybody, welcome to the show.
	It is a live show Monday through Thursday at 10am-ish Eastern.
	You can check us out on Rumble, anywhere where you find podcasts, as well as of course Mug Club.
	And, you know, feel free to go over to Rumble.
	That way.
	Or, more importantly, lottowithrowder.com slash myclub.
	Question of the day!
	What do you think a boss bitch is?
	I think it's J-Lo, but I don't know.
	So go ahead, comment.
	What is a boss bitch?
	Is it me?
	Is it you?
	I don't know.
	Let us know in the comments section.
	We need a little help with that question.
	We do, because I don't know what a boss bitch is.
	Beyonce?
	Ooh, maybe.
	You know where you might be able to find out is when you and Steven do some shows.
	We got some dates coming up.
	Almost everything is completely sold out.
	I think, didn't we release like a handful of additional tickets in Detroit?
	We did for this weekend.
	We pulled a handful of comps if somebody wants to go.
	Royal Oak, Michigan.
	That's why I'm wearing this shirt.
	It's a wolf shirt.
	So we have actually Pike's Peak Colorado, I think it's Colorado Springs area, roughly in June 18th.
	The early show still has some tickets left but that's going to sell out.
	I know it's June and you're like, oh it's June, I've got time.
	You don't have time.
	No.
	Get on top of it.
	No time.
	Buy the power for world peace, right?
	And Dave, you've got some dates coming up as well, right?
	I do!
	I got May 6th in Gillioz Theater in Springfield, Missouri.
	There's no way I pronounced that right.
	May 7th, I'll be in Lincoln, Nebraska.
	But more importantly, May 27th, 28th, the Big L's.
	Emily, Minnesota.
	Big L's awesome.
	Huge fan of the show.
	Really good dude.
	Really great food at the place, too.
	Fantastic.
	Either buy a ticket to one of these shows or maybe get welded into your house.
	Your choice.
	Yeah, your choice.
	It's cool.
	Maybe you're a communist, which is an easy thing to do when you're free and full and stupid.
	Anyway, so...
	Good to be here.
	I'd like to introduce everybody.
	Gerald A., good morning.
	Ahoy.
	How are you, sir?
	I'm good.
	I'm living.
	You're living?
	Yeah, barely.
	Good.
	You can go out and get food and basic necessities of life?
	I can.
	At a much higher price, obviously, with inflation, but hey, nonetheless.
	Yes, gas is higher, so is bread.
	I love it.
	We don't count that, though.
	No.
	I only eat bread.
	Togan Owen, ahoy.
	Ahoy.
	Keegan-Michael Keybump.
	Howdy.
	Tim the Toolman.
	I'm happy to see in third chair, Quarterback Garrett.
	Hey!
	Two days in a row, guys!
	Wow.
	Hey!
	Two days in a row!
	No!
	It's not even on me.
	I feel like I should just call him Garrett now.
	This is just racist.
	Stop.
	Alright.
	What's up, G?
	What's up, man?
	I'm glad to be here.
	I'm glad you're here.
	It's on a show with you hosting.
	I'm excited.
	I know, it's been too long.
	I know, too long.
	And of course, fourth chair, Crawdaddy himself.
	Is it fourth?
	I'm gradually moving out the door.
	I don't know, I'm guessing.
	It's still fun.
	It's 33 and a third, like Naked Gun.
	Second, third chair, I guess we'll call it.
	Yes.
	Please welcome Darren Crowder, Papa Crowder.
	Yeah, thank you.
	Springfield, Missouri, isn't that where they filmed The Simpsons?
	I don't know, I think it's supposed to be, it could be Ohio though.
	Live in Springfield.
	We never know.
	It's one of the Midwestern Springfields.
	One of the Springfields.
	We know this for sure.
	Marge's hair always obscured the map when they were pointing out which Springfield they were.
	That was always the gag.
	They shouldn't be in the air.
	High top fade.
	That was good.
	That was a good show until, like, 15 years ago.
	Yeah, until, yeah.
	We jumped the shark 15 years ago.
	Is that when Conan left?
	Yes, yeah.
	I love the first 17 seasons.
	Yeah, it's great.
	You couldn't end it there, guys?
	Really?
	Yeah, this show is almost as old as me.
	Alright, so!
	Uh, this is actually an exciting thing.
	I got all peppy about it, but a guy who I have met who was one of the nicest people I've ever met and one of the funniest people.
	Yesterday, the legendary, and I do mean legendary, Gilbert Gottfried passed away at the age of 67 due to complications from myotonic... Why would you put this in the map like I can read?
	Dystrophy.
	Dystrophy?
	I know it's a rare muscle disease.
	It's a bit like MS.
	I should have said rare muscle disease.
	But Gilbert was hilarious when I was on The Anthony Comey Show.
	We got to work with him a couple times.
	He's just one of the funniest people ever.
	Legend.
	Amazing.
	And you guys honor him on this show constantly.
	Well, Stephen does probably the best Gilbert impression in the history of mankind.
	Oh yeah, it's really good.
	Yeah, so we wanted to take a second and just talk about what, you know, obviously what a talented guy he was, but let's also look at him on The Apprentice.
	What did you think of Geraldo Gilbert as your project manager?
	I thought he did a great job, unless you thought he did a bad job, in which case he was terrible.
	He's principled.
	I'm not sure how I felt about his Puerto Rican side, but his Jew side I was with 100%.
	How did you find Gilbert?
	He was a different kind of a guy.
	I thought at first he was going to be like Mr. Magoo, kind of like blindly bumping into walls and, you know, going in, phasing in and out of character.
	But I must say, when push came to shove, Gilbert Gottfried really stuck up to the play.
	He really did.
	He got celebrities there.
	Stuck up?
	No one likes him.
	No.
	He's a surprising and easily underestimated person.
	Here's where our troops are, by the way.
	I have to give out military secrets.
	You are here.
	We are there.
	Please don't bomb us here.
	One of my favorite ever appearances of Gilbert was actually in the roast of Hugh Hefner when he had to go up after iced tea.
	Gilbert Godfrey.
	Oh, this evening went by so quick!
	Oh, this evening went by so quick!
	I'm not gonna do it.
	And it just seemed like it started 50 hours ago, and here I am!
	You know, everyone else, it's so bad coming on after this, because everyone else did my act already.
	It's like Ice-T did my whole act right now, so I'll do it anyway!
	I'm gonna follow you white motherfuckers home!
	And right you f*ing white b****!
	Wow!
	You see, it's such a strong bit, it still works!
	He's just the funniest dude ever.
	It turned into more of an iced tea roast.
	And if you're at home and the kids aren't around, read or watch Gilbert Godfrey reads WAP.
	It's the greatest video ever.
	It is so funny, isn't it?
	It's so good.
	So yeah, rest in peace, Gilbert.
	That's just absolute shame.
	And just another person who's joined the just tons of comics.
	We've lost a lot in the last few years.
	Yeah, Norm Macdonald, Saget, Louie Anderson, just like recently.
	Yeah.
	Well, there was a post, and I don't know if I saw you like it or not, but like retweet it, not like, you know what I mean, but where I think Gottfried said that, you know, these two people being in the picture, Saget and Louis dying, and said it's sad.
	And then somebody actually posted, like, this is really sad now because all three people in the picture, because Gilbert was in the picture with those two guys and saying, oh, it's sad that I lost my friends, and that wasn't that long ago.
	No, it was a couple months.
	No, it's just a shame, man.
	A lot of OGs.
	Yeah, rest in peace, Gilbert.
	Yeah.
	The tweet that they sent out, by the way, was really good.
	The family was like, look, laugh, because that's what he wanted people to do.
	Not laugh at this, but just laugh and enjoy what he did and what he provided to the world.
	So we're not trying to be a downer, man.
	He was one of the few guys that could... Part of his whole persona was laughing at himself and having so much fun all the time.
	He was infectious.
	I mean, you just get drawn in by it.
	Well, it was such a great...
	Great character.
	Yeah.
	That he could be anything and like one of the best bits ever is on the Norm MacDonald Show when he's talking about what he would do to Angelina or not.
	What's her name?
	Catherine Zeta-Jones.
	Catherine Zeta-Jones.
	For what disease?
	And it's not his fault.
	Michael Douglas opened up that can of worms.
	He did, he started it.
	Yeah, he said it's how he got throat cancer and then he's like I would get spina bifida.
	Spina bifida!
	Spina bifida!
	MS!
	He would just shout out diseases.
	Anything!
	Yes, just so brilliant.
	And he was very, uh, off-camera he was very kind of very meek and not the vocal guy, but the character that he had was just so brilliant.
	Yeah.
	And just so angry, but not really.
	Yeah.
	That's why I think it works so well in Steven's impression of, uh, oh now I'm forgetting.
	Why am I forgetting?
	Bernie Sanders.
	Bernie Sanders, jeez.
	This is a good idea, right?
	I'm hoping Steven's not watching.
	No, Bernie Sanders.
	He's not.
	It's hilarious because Bernie is like this angry sounding guy and what he's saying a lot of times and it just it works but it yeah it was such a great character.
	Honestly, I didn't know that that was a character.
	I didn't follow like comedy like you guys followed comedy.
	I just thought that's how the guy sounded most of the time.
	Oh yeah.
	Right?
	And it's like, oh no, that's something a little different.
	Like, you obviously would have been able to see that if you had done any paying attention, which I didn't, but I was like, oh my gosh, that makes it even better for me.
	How do you keep your voice doing that all the time?
	And he was just the filthiest comic imaginable.
	That's probably why I didn't watch him as much.
	You loved it, I was like, I'll go back and watch Bill Cosby because he's moral.
	He's one of those characters that, like, I knew him because I was a kid at the time from, like, Aladdin.
	That was the only thing I knew him from.
	And then Affleck commercials.
	And then later on I was like, oh, this guy is raunchy.
	Like, I love this.
	This is hilarious.
	Yeah, and they kicked him off the Affleck commercials for making some joke about... He was like, do you know who I was?
	He was cancelled early on, yeah.
	Yeah, we got cancelled on a roast because it was right after 9-11 and he said, I'm sorry I'm late, I had a layover at the Empire State Building.
	And it was like, the day after?
	I realize a lot of people at home aren't laughing.
	I don't care.
	It's funny.
	You find light in the darkness.
	That one podcast episode with Artie Lang.
	He's in tears the entire time.
	And a lot of it is just them laughing.
	It's not even this.
	They're just having a good time.
	Artie and him would go back and forth.
	Probably harder and funnier than anybody I've ever seen two people do.
	It was brilliant.
	Just brilliant.
	And yeah, it's just tragic and yeah, rest in peace, man.
	On a happier note, Cam Newton was still getting mobbed on Twitter yesterday after his appearance on the podcast Million Dollars Worth of Game.
	My parents have been together for 36, 37 years now.
	Oh look, it's Snoop Dogg if he had white parents.
	I grew up in a three-parent household.
	My mom, my father, and my grandmother.
	It's Crocodile Dundee!
	And they all beat me.
	And I knew what a woman was.
	Not a bad bitch.
	Okay, what's the difference?
	A woman.
	Okay.
	A bad bitch is... Careful.
	A person who's just... Careful.
	You know.
	Girl, I'm a bad bitch.
	You know, I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
	Clack, clack, clack, clack.
	Is he doing the nails?
	I looked up on the nails.
	Yeah.
	But I don't act apart.
	Okay.
	You know, and it's a lot of... Danger.
	...women who are bad bitches, and I say bitches in a way not to degrade a woman, but just to go off the aesthetic of what they deem is a boss chick.
	Now, a woman for me is...
	Handling your own but knowing how to cater to a man's needs.
	Oral.
	Right?
	And I think a lot of times when you get that...
	Just making that clear.
	You know what I mean.
	It's not a need.
	No, baby.
	But you can't cook.
	Okay?
	You don't know how to cook.
	Okay.
	You don't know how to allow a man to lead.
	Oh my gosh.
	I mean, look, he's right.
	It's definition.
	It's definition.
	I'm very confused about his whole getup, though.
	He's got like the Crocodile Dundee hat, but then like a Superman shirt from like 98.
	Yep.
	And then the white shirt on the outside.
	Like, what's he doing?
	He's fashion forward.
	He does it to distract from the awful things he says.
	Distract!
	Not work.
	This of course caused an uptick in worldwide virtue signaling.
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	There it is.
	Oh, the blue check marks.
	I'll just read them.
	Yeah.
	I'm trying like hell to not give oxygen to Cam Newton and his comments because they're so blatantly ridiculous.
	But I keep coming back to the fact that they're so, or that they're also dangerous because they contribute to a culture that believe it's okay to demean and devalue women.
	Gotta do better, Cam, said reporter Jim Trotter.
	Do better.
	Shut up, Jim, you pussy.
	All right.
	What is cooking skills?
	That's not a demeaning thing.
	No.
	Being able to cook is great.
	I mean, cook better.
	Yeah.
	Unless they're on television.
	I mean, cook better.
	Unless they're on TV.
	Do better.
	Yeah.
	Then Manor TV better cooks.
	Anyway.
	Disgusting!
	And then who else talked? Oh, patriarchy blues author Frederick Joseph said, again, many men such as Cam Newton
	need to read more and speak less. The level of misogyny and sexism on these podcasts is disgusting.
	Disgusting! Disgusting!
	He then logged onto YouPorn.
	So, five, no, three minutes after tweeting this.
	It's like, this is disgraceful.
	Disgusting.
	Where's my napkins?
	Does anyone watch the Million Dollas podcast?
	Yeah, a lot of people do.
	There's a Z in it.
	Okay.
	No R. No.
	No, Dollas.
	Dollas.
	Whoever came up with the term Dollas did have a lot of them.
	Or not.
	Well, it may have, the IRS could have took them.
	Like that guy who was on the MTV show where they show off their mansions.
	Oh yeah, Cribs.
	Yeah, Cribs.
	Like, I got this, this, and this.
	And the IRS is like, you claimed $30,000 last year.
	You have nine Bentleys.
	I'll put it all on Snapple.
	My fridge?
	Look at this.
	I got a lot of snapples.
	That was all a setup.
	That was the best sting operation ever.
	Yeah, that's what it should have been called.
	Just, UMTV Stingin' Cribs.
	What's up with all these?
	You got a lot of PAs here.
	They're all wearing FBI shirts.
	What's up with that?
	It's crazy.
	Padlocking cribs.
	How much did you pay for that again?
	Oh, really?
	Oh, that's interesting.
	I'll make a note.
	Cash?
	This is for the VO later.
	The Twitter mob, though, in this case, of course, failed to mention that Cam critiqued men within the same episode.
	I'm not just about to sit up there and beat up my queens.
	That's right.
	But I'm also going to tell the men to start being men, bro.
	Absolutely.
	That sucker s*** should not be rewarded.
	That's on point though.
	That is really on point.
	Yes.
	He's saying hey be men and women be women and be able to support each other.
	What is so wrong with that?
	There's nothing wrong with that.
	It's a great statement.
	I mean it's very confusing.
	I'll tell you what's wrong with it.
	But it makes a lot of sense.
	This guy is completely unaware of what he's putting out there.
	Or he's fully aware.
	He says he has a great example of his father being, first of all, being in the home.
	Big win.
	Yeah, it was great.
	He fathered four kids out of wedlock, never married the gal.
	What kind of leadership is that?
	Is it the same?
	The gal he's with left him because he fathered a fifth kid with some Instagram model.
	I mean, come on.
	Practice what you preach.
	That's not leadership.
	I'm looking around here and I know every guy in here, great example, great father.
	Come on, he can't churn that out and think anyone's going to buy it.
	All you have to do is a little search on Cam and he is...
	He's way off base.
	He's saying the right thing, but you first, Cam.
	You first.
	How about that?
	I think that's a fair point.
	It's a very fair point.
	He's got five children, he's not married, and he's not being the example he says he was given.
	If you're going to impregnate an Instagram model, You're thinking more TikTok would be appropriate.
	I'm just glad that he says to don't beat women because it's following in the stellar lineup.
	Well, he doesn't know who he works for.
	He doesn't know that the league is much more apt to be okay with a Colin Kaepernick than they would with comments like that.
	Yeah, exactly.
	They're better with the race stuff than they are with some guy who they view as misogynist.
	Of course.
	Well, they have the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
	He'll never work again.
	No.
	But... And a great talent.
	Right, Ray Rice?
	That's right.
	But a great talent.
	I mean, Rarel knows this.
	Yeah, we'll just keep naming names.
	Yeah.
	O.J.
	Simpson, Del Bryant, Brian Thomas, Chad Johnson.
	Alright!
	Anybody else?
	Did I put a damper on things?
	No!
	I'm sorry.
	No, I think you're right.
	I was just trying to cheer it up by naming wife beaters.
	Hey gals, follow my lead.
	It's almost like a league of wife beaters.
	Adam Jones?
	They're putting together a team.
	Just keep going.
	Yeah.
	The National Female Hittin' League.
	Oh, jeez.
	Yeah, they do like to beat women, but that's okay.
	Not okay to do.
	No, but they say apparently that it's okay because they can sign another contract right after that.
	I always say as long as you can cook.
	That's right.
	Yeah.
	You can cook the steak on your... Alright.
	I'm hungry, start cooking it now.
	Yeah, there you go.
	It's not gonna work.
	It's not gonna go well.
	Alright, but maybe he's struggling to articulate something important.
	The loss of meaning that comes from role fulfillment in modernity?
	I think so.
	We talk about this all the time.
	That was my point, I didn't just read it.
	Yeah, but you wrote it for yourself.
	Yeah, yeah, I wrote that.
	Surprised yourself.
	Yeah, I was like, what?
	Wow, for God's sake.
	I know what that means.
	Yeah, how did I do that?
	We talk about the roll thing all the time here, just to kind of tie a bow on this.
	Like, that's what we see going away.
	I like a buttery roll.
	Not like that.
	Oh, cinnamon?
	It's falling in tune.
	Oh, hello.
	I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
	I'm on a diet, I can't help it.
	You said cinnamon rolls.
	Cinnabon.
	That's too much.
	Cinnabon.
	No, I think we lose that because there are complementary roles and we talk about men and women as being interchangeable now.
	Like that there's no difference between them and that's not, that's never true in these situations.
	It doesn't mean that you don't have the same dignity, it doesn't mean that you don't have in some cases the same abilities, but it does mean that you're going to be better at certain things than the other role, the other gender is.
	What's like the tweet?
	Implying that having a certain role in supporting your spouse is demeaning in some way.
	It's not demeaning.
	It's fulfilling.
	It's fulfilling, and in fact, it's the opposite.
	It's empowering to have a role and be able to complete that role.
	That's right.
	And you have that for both men and women, and to demean that is gross to me.
	Yeah.
	Reporter, blue checkmark, whoever you are.
	Blue checkmark, yeah.
	And he was struggling to articulate with the misuse of aesthetic three times.
	It's very hard to follow what he was saying.
	Right.
	Yes.
	I don't think aesthetic means what you think it means, Cam.
	He's talking about ladies that are walking around, you know, doing this and doing that.
	You said clacking over there.
	Yeah, clack clack, clack clack.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Squid hands.
	Who is going to be attracted to that?
	Ladies?
	Like, I think that's one of Cam's points is like, look, don't walk around acting like that's the thing to aspire to.
	It's not.
	And men, be followable.
	That's what we need.
	We need men who are worthy of being followed.
	Both are true.
	Women in those relationships are willing to do that to say, you know what?
	This works really well if I have somebody as a partner that I can follow.
	If you're not followable men, don't expect it.
	I love when guys go home and they're like, my wife doesn't listen to me.
	I'm like, I wouldn't either.
	You're an idiot.
	Yes.
	But I ask you this.
	How many straight men can pull off a neckerchief?
	Go.
	Yeah, only Paul Lind and him have ever won one on television.
	And the guy from Scooby-Doo who was always banging Selma.
	That's an ascot.
	Yeah, was that an ascot for him?
	I think so.
	I think it was too young for an ascot.
	That's true.
	He doesn't have a boat.
	No, he's just a kid.
	He's got a van.
	My dog solves mysteries you want to get in Part of a show kid triple-decker sandwiches in here Disney he folded his sandwich like a deck of cards and then molested all right Said it was a mystery.
	He said, figure out who done it.
	I said, you, I'm watching.
	So it's him, Cam Newton, and Paul Lind are the three people that have worn a neckerchief.
	One of them is a fictional character, we'll let you guess who.
	Yes, it's Ham Newton.
	No, I get what everybody's saying and that's how we move on.
	That's called a segue.
	I used to live in a great place called New York, and I don't know if you guys have heard, it's not very nice right now.
	That's the part I know.
	I think you typically don't make it past too many lyrics.
	No.
	Yeah, it's just get beat up.
	And this is Dave saying it's a bad place to live.
	He's from Detroit.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	I'd rather walk anywhere in Detroit than New York.
	There's no subway in Detroit.
	That's right.
	There's a sandwich subway.
	It's the Motor Cities.
	But you can't get on no subway.
	You know, maybe people would die if there was a subway in Detroit.
	When I was a kid in Detroit, if you drove a foreign car, they were waiting in the overpass with either a bowling ball or a piece of concrete to time to go right through your window.
	Yeah, now they're just doing it to any car.
	Every single car.
	There's no moral behind it.
	Do you breathe?
	Did we have a stinger?
	Your head then they had a moral stop. Yeah, we only do Japanese cars. Yes now
	It's just well they didn't throw at their own because they're all Mexican made
	I'm kidding the f-150 is built there. I think still yeah American me we have a stinger. I was waiting on that and it
	just didn't happen Oh
	Particularly love that guy who's walking into like the deli seeing somebody get beat up is like yeah, whatever I
	I gotta get my it's New York.
	I'm hungry.
	I gotta get a drink.
	I absolutely would have done that.
	I'm not even gonna lie.
	This is walk past like somebody getting their head bashed against a car.
	I'd be like gentlemen.
	Good morning as you were this deli for a Cuban sandwich made of old meats.
	I could be out here in a minute with you.
	Yes.
	Bang my head into the ground.
	I'll see you in five.
	Please don't hurt me, I don't carry cash.
	We just have a shirt on.
	No cash on board.
	I don't have change.
	Oh, they do like their change there.
	Oh, they do.
	Coins, sexes.
	So anyway, in New York, surprising to no one, New York is still an absolute cesspool.
	Yesterday, ten Brooklyn subway commuters were shot by a deranged man dressed in a construction vest and gas mask.
	Oh, that's how he got past security?
	Yeah.
	I'm on the construction crew.
	That's easy.
	That doesn't, there's nobody who cares, nobody's watching anything.
	Why do you have a gas mask on, sir?
	They're more effective than the surgical masks.
	Oh, I, you know, it's just... I'm in construction.
	Have you seen my vest that I was wearing?
	Don't ask me questions, okay?
	Oh, you're a gas man, constructioner.
	By the way, I have a giant bag of guns.
	Pay attention to that.
	Sorry to question you.
	And this smoke grenade.
	Go on.
	13 additional people were injured during the attack.
	This is a video of the aftermath.
	You might want to get the kids out of the room there.
	Don't look at it.
	Oh, you know what it is?
	It's the 36th Street.
	I bet you that's a train that goes right through Times Square.
	Glad they're all wearing masks, though.
	It's a good thing.
	It's protective.
	Well, it's probably more effective against that.
	They stopped bullets?
	This is just so disgusting.
	Oh, that guy's limping.
	He's shot.
	Oh, man.
	I think he's the one that survived.
	This is unbelievable.
	Jeez.
	Aw, man.
	All defenseless.
	Yeah, question.
	Subway.
	Gun-free zone?
	Yeah.
	The entire city of New York.
	Well, hmm.
	Well, he didn't see the sign.
	If he saw the sign, we need to make bigger signs.
	That's the problem.
	That's the problem.
	He's on the construction crew, though, guys.
	I mean, was it in his language, though, the sign?
	Well.
	Oh, that's a good point.
	Yo dawg, no guns here, bro.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	No guns.
	I can't shoot people here.
	Mm-hmm.
	It's the man.
	That's how criminals work.
	They follow the rules.
	They do.
	They do.
	It turned out to be 60-year-old Frank James, and he's been the suspect identified right here.
	He was identified by a credit card found at the scene, which was used to rent a U-Haul that was found nearby.
	Wow.
	Yep.
	James had apparently been on the FBI's terror watch list until 2019.
	They took him off.
	Guys!
	I don't mean to laugh, but do your job once.
	How many times is this going to happen?
	He dropped his credit card, by the way.
	Yeah, what were you doing?
	Swiping while shooting people?
	Guys, I'm hungry.
	Uber Eats.
	Dropped your wallet in the kitchen.
	What?
	I was ordering a sandwich.
	The deli at the next stop.
	It's unbelievable.
	The motive is still being reported as unknown.
	I wonder if we can guess.
	There are a couple of options, I think.
	Are there?
	We'll see.
	I don't know.
	Social media believed it was linked to some stuff.
	Like he had a particular worldview.
	Oh.
	Oh, well.
	Is he a Trump supporter?
	No.
	I don't think that's support words.
	Is that Jussie?
	That one in the middle there.
	Fan of the Hodge twins?
	Yeah.
	Nice art.
	He loves bleach, apparently.
	I guess that's four people that wore a neck.
	Never mind.
	And his last YouTube video uploaded on April 11th, 2022, makes his position explicit.
	These white motherfuckers, this is what they do.
	Ultimately, through the day, they kill and commit genocide against each other.
	What do you think they can?
	What do you think they're going to do to your black ass?
	That's your friend.
	You got a white friend, really?
	They're gonna kill you, n***a. They're gonna kill you.
	No, they're gonna torture you first.
	They're gonna f*** you up first.
	Real good.
	What?
	What kind of white friends do you have?
	They're doing this right now in Ukraine.
	Torturing and binding and killing and stabbing and raping women and cutting their throat.
	What do you think they're gonna do to you if they can get a hold of you?
	There need to be a lot more motherf***ers hit with straight bullets.
	A lot more motherf***ers need to die by straight bullets.
	F*** that.
	He needs to work on his setup.
	He better light it.
	My grandma said the same on her deathbed.
	Wow.
	Yeah, you better light it.
	Wow.
	My grandma said the same on her deathbed.
	...and so called black people.
	There's gonna be reversal of all your fortunes.
	No.
	You're not a man and a brother.
	You're a slave and a n****r.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	The more you know.
	Where's that rainbow?
	Dave, motive still unknown.
	Yeah, I'm not sure what it was.
	I do think stepping onto a train mostly filled with Asians, though, will fix the problem.
	Yeah, yeah, that's probably going to destroy the narrative.
	Yeah, that'll do it.
	Riding along a track they built.
	I'm a little confused.
	He's talking about a war going on between people that are white saying that this is what's going to happen To you.
	He's like, that's what they do to the white people.
	What are they going to do to you?
	Well, hold on.
	I'm a little confused.
	Is Russia and or Ukraine going to invade the United States?
	Are they like, God, next stop USA, you know, like what?
	I don't understand the point here.
	It doesn't make, yeah, that's a scholar.
	It's allegorical.
	Ah, thank you.
	You know what, Garrett, do me a favor.
	Will you please translate what we just heard?
	I just did.
	I told you.
	If this is what white people do to white people, what are they going to do to you?
	That's basically what you're saying.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, because Russia... I can hear it.
	I guess he never went to Detroit.
	Ukraine.
	I deciphered Cam Newton.
	I can decipher him too.
	I got it.
	I kind of see why you're on the show today.
	I think the internet needs to be taken and put on a shelf like your teacher used to do.
	It's like a break.
	You can have it back when you all learn how to behave.
	Yeah.
	Because this isn't for you guys.
	This is ridiculous.
	Take a break.
	That video was shot the day before?
	Yeah.
	The day before he went on the subway?
	I believe so.
	I saw the date on it, April 11th, so if that's the actual date it was actually put up, I don't know.
	But that's insane.
	He got real mad at the viewership.
	Well... I gotta tell you though, the Ninja Turtles?
	Lazy pieces of shit.
	Yeah, they're not doing their job.
	Like, the subway, that is your stop and ground.
	We just do nothing now?
	Yeah.
	We just get a hockey stick-wielding guy to go up there?
	At this point, I think they're like 40-year-old Ninja Turtles.
	That's what I mean.
	They peed in their teens.
	They probably don't want to go up there.
	They're like, we're mutants.
	We ate a lot of pizza.
	Slow.
	I've been eating only pizza since 1985.
	Yeah.
	I see a rat that can talk.
	Yeah, who's been dead for a while and we don't know where to put him.
	Just put him in the corner over there.
	Splinter died in 98.
	It's been a long time.
	He still speaks to me though.
	It's weird.
	Yeah, he does karate in his cage.
	Got a lot of knee injuries from all the skateboarding.
	Yeah, a lot of that.
	And other stuff to make money.
	That's why we have the pads.
	And that is New York State of Mind.
	Yeah.
	What's up, babies?
	Thanks for tuning in.
	How you doing?
	I'm good.
	I'm good.
	Yeah, we're doing good.
	How you doing?
	We're doing good.
	We're doing real good.
	How you hanging in?
	I'm hanging in.
	Yeah?
	I'm excited.
	I love it when a Detroit guy says, well, that's really a hellhole.
	Yeah, man.
	It went from the nice, like it went, I shouldn't say nice, it went from a decent area though to where I would have to play like feces hopscotch to walk to the train.
	Because there was just crap everywhere.
	It was human beings too.
	It wasn't dog.
	You know, and it was like, then you do that to get to the train.
	And then on the train, it's like, you're either getting some guy who's screaming, it's what he thinks is the Bible at you in a different language, next to a guy who's like playing keytar with his dick out.
	I think I'm gonna Uber.
	You know, when Giuliani ran that town, the streets sparkled.
	It was beautiful.
	I mean sparkled.
	He asked the shop owners to pressure wash just the area in front of their business.
	It was unbelievable.
	Do you know what he did wrong, though?
	And I would say this to him.
	He ran the homeless out of town.
	No, he ran the mob out of town.
	They would not take this guff for a second.
	You're gonna put, what, 20 crackheads in front of a nightclub that a mobster owns?
	Can't have this.
	They're like, hey, what do you think we should do about this?
	They're like, they'll be gone tonight.
	Don't worry about it.
	Don't worry about it.
	Where are they gonna go?
	Yeah, don't worry about it.
	No, don't ask questions.
	Ah, we got a truck to put them in.
	To the suburbs.
	Yeah.
	Somewhere.
	Yeah, somewhere nice.
	Take them out on the island.
	You know what I mean?
	Like a garbage bag of cats, but it's bums.
	Nobody's gonna miss them.
	What, you never hit a bum at a club?
	You gotta learn them, they don't even try to dodge it.
	Can you imagine the guy gets on a train with a gun and there's just six gangsters on there?
	They're like, oh.
	I'll turn around.
	You sure you really want to do this?
	Oh look, there's a guy in a mask, isn't that cute?
	Yeah, ain't nobody comes on a hot train, calling us nofredo.
	Go over there and slap him.
	I don't know if you guys heard this, the Disney heir is trans.
	What?
	Yeah.
	An heiress to Disney?
	Yeah, yeah.
	What heir?
	I don't even know what to do here.
	I'm not sure.
	Pull the Kevin Spacey.
	That's a gendered term.
	What happened with that?
	Well, you know, whenever Kevin Spacey, all the allegations came out, all of a sudden he was gay.
	Oh, that's right.
	So now, there's a little heat on Disney.
	Oh, we have a trans though.
	Look at our trans.
	That did not work.
	I didn't know.
	Yeah, because he's like, you sexually assaulted a 14 year old and Kevin Spacey's like, I'm gay.
	It's like, what?
	I'm gay though.
	Why could you take that into account here?
	I think it would have been better if you were like, I'm completely heterosexual.
	Why would I do that to you?
	Why would I do that?
	That's absurd.
	That's insane.
	But instead he was like, I like men!
	And you're like, okay, tracks.
	He's like, well, do I need to go further?
	I hear this one person killed someone and then they changed and you let that one go.
	Do I need to go that far?
	Yeah.
	Is that cool?
	Can I try to fit my hand into a glove?
	Well, it gets people off.
	Time to make eerie Christmas videos for the rest of time.
	He has done that consistently.
	He didn't stop.
	No, he reminds people that he might be guilty every Christmas.
	Every single time.
	If he just stopped it, it would be fine.
	We'd go like, we kind of want Kevin.
	I'm not sure I've seen this.
	What are we talking about?
	You've never seen Kevin's face?
	He has a meltdown every Christmas on video.
	Does he really?
	Yeah, he puts them out himself.
	Can we see it on Mug Club?
	Can we bring that up?
	Yes, please.
	I don't think I've seen this yet.
	That's awesome.
	Oh yeah, he's a psycho.
	He lost his mind.
	I don't blame him.
	He is John Doe now.
	He's still a rich person.
	He could just move somewhere.
	Can money really buy your reputation to be clean?
	Wait, I'm sorry.
	It doesn't buy you sanity for sure.
	Do you think he was like really caring so much about his reputation when he was sexually assaulting the people?
	No, because it was 1985.
	Well, yeah, that was way before his reputation.
	Then he built it up.
	Ah, so he didn't have it then.
	Yeah.
	Great minds.
	Hey.
	Okay.
	You, not so much.
	Not over there.
	Over here though.
	Do you know in Under the Sea he did most of the singing?
	That's all I have.
	Oh, as Bobby Darin?
	Yeah.
	Did you know Bobby Darin threw his wife through a coffee table so he could play for the NFL?
	Brain fart.
	FULL CIRCLE.
	FULL CIRCLE.
	If that was in the draft, that would be very interesting.
	It's like, alright, now look at the form here.
	Did you know the original name of Mack the Knife was Smack the Wife?
	That makes sense.
	In that era.
	What a good joke that just fell flat.
	I felt it when I was drinking.
	I don't know.
	Could have been a spit take.
	I was put on the app for not knowing about the Spacey videos.
	You didn't know Mac the Knife?
	Oh, I'm not telling you that you're bad for not knowing Spacey's Crazy Christmas videos.
	I'm saying I'm happy that I can introduce them to you.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Let's not pretend that's a bad thing.
	It's a good thing.
	It's great fun.
	It's not Christmas without Crazy Spacey.
	Oh, no.
	Just didn't feel the same way.
	Are you familiar, Darren?
	I am.
	Yeah, they're great, aren't they?
	And I love how you spun that rhyme right off of a classic Thank you.
	To Bobby Darin, so I think I could have been named after Bobby Darin and just because of the spelling.
	Really?
	Usually people are R-E-N or two R's E-N minus two R's I-N.
	Parents would have maybe, would have been their era.
	Maybe a fan.
	Yeah, well he died in his 30s too.
	He had some like heart condition.
	I think it's called being a musician.
	Yes, the heir of Disney, Charlie Cora, so that clears that up, has publicly come out as a transgender person.
	Cora's stepfather is the grandson of Disney co-founder Roy O'Disney.
	Oh my goodness, how removed.
	I'm Roy O'Disney!
	Make a wish on my crimes!
	Come to my lucky Disney.
	You were expecting Walt, but you got me.
	It's unlucky for you, Johnny.
	Oh, Royal Disney, I'll go on my racist ride.
	It's a small world isn't here anymore.
	It's one ride, it's potato famine.
	Very sad time.
	Very sad time.
	Look at the babies.
	Alright.
	It's called the wee lad.
	The wee lad's world.
	It's a paddy wagon filled with blacks.
	Oh, Royal Disney.
	That's the second part.
	This was V1, he changed it all up to go to what we see now.
	It's just this completely ghetto Disney.
	It's all run down.
	They only sell like fully loaded potatoes to eat.
	That's it.
	That's all they have.
	Sorry sir, we're closed.
	Fully loaded potatoes, mashed potatoes, and alcohol.
	Baked potatoes.
	How come the only ride is say bye to my father whose liver is failing?
	Going to get a pack of cigarettes.
	It's just Amazing Grace and bagpipes on a loop.
	Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling me.
	I mean, how removed is this gal though from the line?
	I mean, her stepfather's grandson of the co-founder.
	Not even Wally directly.
	That's what I'm saying.
	It's a trophy.
	It's a token.
	They go, oh look, we also have a trans.
	So don't get mad at us.
	Either financially or... Yeah, they did the Kevin Spacey.
	She probably got a phone call and was like, I'm related to who?
	How much money you want to throw at me?
	I'll go up on stage.
	No, hey, yeah, I'm trans and I'm a millionaire apparently.
	It's a Hail Mary, because after all this controversy with Disney, one of their CEOs came out and said that two of their kids are gender non-conforming.
	Who knew?
	And then another CEO that's running the MCU came out and we're at the GLAAD Awards saying, oh we need more representation in kids films, more representation.
	And now they're doing, we're gonna roll our trains out, look at them.
	See?
	We are accepting.
	We're allies.
	And then they had Bob Chapek, the CEO of Disney, come out and do a big apology tour going, I'm so sorry I wasn't a good enough ally to you.
	I'm so sorry.
	It's all fake.
	It's all fake.
	It's just to try to make you forget that they don't actually care about you.
	Let's remember this as we get to the next segment about Disney and speaking up for those oppressed classes at Disney.
	We'll see how we can do that.
	Thanking the camps in China.
	I'm literally thanking the leaders of the camps in China.
	It's horrible.
	They're day camps.
	Yeah.
	It's a fun camp.
	They do activities, you know, like not eat.
	That's it.
	That's all they do.
	About Rhonda Santa's awesome parental rights bill and its effect on LGBTQ plus youth.
	Oh man.
	Too many letters to remember.
	It's a lot.
	Then to put something like this law on top of that.
	They can't learn about their community and their history at school.
	Or play sports or use the bathroom they want to use.
	Yes they can.
	That's not true.
	They can play sports and they can use the bathroom.
	They can use any bathroom you like.
	So.
	It's bathroom of my choice.
	Yeah.
	That's the name of my new album.
	Brave Dave Bathroom of My Choice.
	Brave Dave.
	Brave Dave.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, the whole article is incredibly complicated to read.
	Take this paragraph, for example.
	Oh, boy.
	Cora, who told the Times that they don't have much experience with public speaking or advocacy, lamented that they don't do very much to help.
	Yeah, because using plural words... There's nothing that works.
	We understand all the words individually, but in the syntax there, it just doesn't fit.
	No, it makes no sense.
	That was used, a translator was used down there.
	I believe so.
	Word-for-word translation or something.
	Maybe it was talked in text.
	I'm not gonna judge, you know.
	I feel it.
	You definitely should.
	Yes.
	It's not just Korra that's doing some transitioning, though.
	After such a huge financial loss, Disney is doing a little rebranding of their own.
	That brings us to today's 7 plus 1 renamed Disney attractions.
	You'll forgot Stefan in the chamber!
	Every time.
	You were on a hot mic just then.
	I always forget it.
	I did say that.
	Number 7, Gerald.
	101.
	Peter Pansexual's Flight.
	Great ride.
	Number six, QB.
	Splash Mount Him.
	Number five, Epcock Center.
	Oh, of course.
	It's a rocket ship.
	Did Elon make this?
	Yeah.
	Number four, Darren.
	Cherry poppin'.
	Put some flavor on that one.
	Number three, The Little Spermaid.
	Oh, come on.
	A whole new world.
	No photoshop needed on that one.
	A whole new ovary.
	Kiss nigga.
	Number two, Gerald.
	How dare you.
	Poke a hot ass.
	There you go.
	Tell that to your god.
	Number one, QB.
	Snow White and the seven year olds.
	It's on brand.
	Oh man.
	It's on brand.
	Oh, it's cause it's real.
	And then plus one.
	We got one more.
	Here we go.
	The many adventures of Winnie's pooper.
	He's got hair on his chest.
	Look at that.
	He's a bear after all.
	Go ahead and brim around in there.
	And that's 7 plus 1.
	More employees.
	Always one in the chamber.
	We're always trying to remind you not to, but you always forget.
	Every time there's always one in the chamber.
	I'm done reminding.
	I'm done.
	Well, I'm sorry.
	I didn't know.
	It's been years, but next time I'm going to check for Winnie's pooper.
	That's where they keep the extra.
	That's where the extra chamber.
	It's that one in the chamber that's thinned the herd of a lot of celebrities.
	That's true.
	Sometimes on purpose.
	Quite a few.
	That's why I play Russian roulette with all the bullets.
	I have a two-headed coin.
	I don't go first.
	No.
	So terrible.
	Anywho, speaking of security, there's some exciting news in airport security.
	The Dallas Lufffield Airport has a robot named Scott who watches passengers to ensure they're wearing masks and not loitering in their cars.
	Let's have a look.
	Welcome to Dallas Love Field Airport.
	All Ubers, Lyfts, taxis, and rental car shuttles are located on the lower level.
	To access the lower level, please use an escalator or elevator to proceed downstairs.
	Did I mention he sounds a tad effeminate?
	That shocked- I did not see that video before.
	Almost cartoonish.
	You can find your flights in Terminal D. When did Brian Stelter start doing voiceovers?
	Well, it's funny. He actually did short circuit and it caused this to happen.
	Hey, I want to dance with somebody.
	You saw a cry so many times when I'm lying in bed.
	To get it all out was in my head.
	And I, I, I feel it, feel it, feel it.
	I need a little help, help, help, help.
	Oh, what a zesty nightmare.
	Oh, that must have really pissed off a lot of people.
	Yeah, it did, actually.
	It really did.
	And I'll tell you who really got upset.
	His Android parents.
	They sent him off to gay Christian robot conversion camp.
	He just finished the program and here's him now.
	What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak?
	What will people do when they find out it's true?
	I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak.
	I mean, I think I'm glad to see that he's reformed.
	Probably the ones and zeros away.
	I guess he just got busted buying Ecstasy off an undercover Roomba.
	He had a bunch of condoms on him.
	It's high on E. Yeah, it's a shame.
	So Shanghai!
	China!
	Shaolin!
	What's happening in the old Eastern countries?
	Are they in the news, Dave?
	No.
	They are.
	I don't know if you heard.
	They have massive lockdowns.
	Yesterday, the U.S.
	consulate in Shanghai ordered the departure of all non-emergency staff and family members.
	Wow.
	That's pretty groovy.
	Okay.
	Chinese foreign ministry spokesperson, hold on, Zhao Lijian.
	That's close.
	Yeah, because that's how you pronounce it.
	No, it is.
	I made sure I was right.
	I wrote it down on my separate paper.
	Separate paper.
	Zhao Lijian.
	Separate but equal paper.
	Because it's spelled all stupid.
	Terrible rule.
	Don't do it, Dexter.
	It's spelled all stupid!
	It is, though!
	It doesn't make any sense.
	That doesn't say Zhao.
	That says Zahio.
	There's like a Z-H-A-O.
	What's going on?
	They threw some silverware in the air and whatever sound it made when it came down you.
	Hold on, hold on, time out.
	Can we just bring up CNN real quick?
	Look, this is Frank.
	Ah, they just moved on from it, but this is Frank.
	They were talking.
	He posted a video, here's what they said, about people who he thinks or have presumably hurt him.
	Didn't say he was talking about white people.
	So they didn't roll the clip that we did?
	It was very targeted.
	Nobody in that booth went like, ah, he said white people are going to do this to you as well.
	Sorry, I don't want to sidetrack us.
	I know we have to, we have a guest.
	This guy looks like The Rock if he sold his muscles.
	Deflated.
	I'm the pebble.
	What is he?
	Do you smell what I'm cooking?
	No?
	No?
	No then?
	Alright.
	Not enough spices I guess.
	No emotional damage!
	I'm gonna go sit in the car.
	Walking small So Joe Joe Macau said Chinese strongly dissatisfied and
	firmly opposed the u.s. Is 's, you know, why don't you read that, Gerald?
	Politicization of the evacuation.
	He also asked the U.S.
	to stop attacking China's COVID prevention policies and using the virus as an excuse to smear the country.
	Yeah, because that's the excuse we need.
	China's largest city reported just over 23,000 cases on Tuesday.
	The footage out of China showing the mental and physical damage these lockdowns are causing is heartbreaking.
	This really is sad.
	If you have kids, get them out of the room.
	It's very sad.
	They're screaming because they can't leave the apartment.
	They're yelling out of their balconies.
	Well, they've been taped into their apartments.
	Yes.
	If they're lucky.
	And they're starving.
	It's for your protection, sir.
	They were beating the crap out of this kid before this, by the way.
	I think that's what you get into science for.
	Just beating the crap out of this kid.
	Yeah.
	Just beating the crap out of a grown man next to a playground.
	Oh, that's cool.
	That's gonna be on the bag of cats.
	That's the hottest new Christmas gift this year, Dan.
	Bag o' cats.
	He was catching dinner, guys.
	Is that a bus?
	I'm sorry, you don't know that they eat pets sometimes?
	Garrett?
	I'm sorry, the tape's breakable.
	This is disgusting.
	Can't they rise up to do something?
	There are a billion of them, so at some point... You think they have to?
	Yeah, but they don't have sticks like that.
	The bigger the government, the smaller the man.
	They have small sticks, yeah.
	That's why we all have to keep our head in a swivel.
	This is the communism people want, it's great.
	Really good for the country.
	At least this guy's got balls to stand up to you.
	Stand up to his government.
	What happened to that perfect form Khada?
	Doesn't work that way and under stress.
	They need to work on that.
	Yeah, you're really into karate until you need it.
	Yeah, they kind of stopped in the 90s.
	Yeah, it just, it sucks.
	Like, I feel so bad for them.
	Like there's another video.
	Well, here's another video that we can't, well, we can't play here.
	Shows a man in... Tianjin.
	Thank you.
	Forcefully holding his wife and jumping out of the window.
	There's an overlay.
	There's a ton of those videos of people jumping out of their balconies.
	It's horrible, man.
	And I wasn't sure, Dave, you and I were talking about it before.
	I don't know if all of these are videos that are current or if it's somebody splicing the videos over time from years ago or whatever.
	I have no idea, but one.
	One is all you have to look at and go, this is just horrific.
	And I'm just waiting right now for the NBA, maybe Apple, maybe some of these other companies that are over there right now, Disney, to speak out against this and to say, hey, this is a humanitarian crisis, right?
	Well, then they just made Dumbledore straight, right?
	So they didn't get everything wrong.
	They kind of moved because we needed a gay Dumbledore character in our next movie.
	What the Fantastic Beasts franchise.
	But I just, I don't understand the NBA stance on stuff like this, where they can be so woke here.
	And absolutely just try and toe the line for everybody.
	Apple, Disney, everybody here can be woke.
	And then something like this happens in China.
	It's because they don't care.
	You don't speak out.
	Oh, they can speak out about Ukraine.
	Hey, we support the Ukrainian citizens.
	What about what's going on in China right now?
	Do you know how many people, when we started covering this story, they had already locked down the cities.
	Do you know how many people had died from COVID in the entire country of China since the beginning?
	One.
	Reported by China.
	One.
	One person.
	They have a zero COVID policy, which obviously works because they just had 23,000 cases yesterday in that city, right?
	But so, you know, that's apparently a great policy that it's going to work.
	And so they basically seal you in because if they kill you, they also kill the virus, right?
	So that's the bonus.
	Yeah, if someone welds you in your house, it's not because they're going to open the door again.
	I don't think they're going to come back around and swing around.
	Yeah, that's a very final move, so you might want to get out.
	They don't have a lot of torches to come and cut you out.
	They've got a deal on welders, though.
	Yeah, you might want to break off a leg of a chair or something, whittle it down, make a spear.
	How broken can you be, like such a Stepford wife, by your own government, too, that you'd be willing to do that to another human being, no questions asked?
	And you're right about the NBA and everything else, but it's like, of course, they go where the money is.
	I mean, there's no doubt that it's just a soulless, heartless org.
	Absolutely.
	And it's amazing that it's not even like they did this in the 1920s and they did this now.
	This is the same world we're all living in with the information readily available and people still support it blindly with no problem.
	How about having some balls, Mark Cuban?
	How about any of these guys who own these franchises standing up and saying, you know what?
	That's wrong.
	I don't care if we don't sell a jersey in that country ever again or if none of their billions of people ever watch another game again.
	I don't care.
	How about having some balls?
	How about having some morals?
	How about that?
	Instead of making people wear masks to Dallas Mavericks games and to Lakers home games and to the Nets not letting Kyrie Irving play because he wasn't vaccinated in the city.
	How about standing up for something that actually matters where people are dying, you assholes?
	Pardon my language.
	No, you're right.
	We don't pardon it.
	You know, these people have a problem, though, because in this day and age, everything can be filmed, right?
	And this stuff behind the curtain years ago never got out, but now we know how they treat people in real time.
	I don't know how it gets out of there, but this stuff is coming out daily.
	Oh, absolutely.
	Well, that's why they're trying to constantly You can't lock everything down.
	You can't go to certain websites in China.
	You can't get information from where you are outside into the real world.
	That's why they keep on locking it down.
	And that's why we get so mad about it here, is because down the road, that could be us.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	Because we are all humans.
	We all have the same tendencies.
	Those bad people can be over here easily.
	And that's why people get so mad.
	Right.
	When they shut down cell service and the internet pretty soon, you're going to know they're When I swore a minute ago, I was actually quoting one of my favorite people because he knows how Donald Trump feels about China.
	Yeah.
	Alec Baldwin?
	No.
	Oh, he's one of our favorites.
	You don't want to catch AIDS?
	No.
	That's definitely not the right button.
	Oh my gosh.
	Thank you for getting the right one.
	He killed me.
	And in a less serious but still creepy video, CNN Shanghai reporter David Culver explains how authorities are keeping people in their homes.
	David, before I let you go, just clarify.
	You're shut in?
	There's like a paper barrier keeping you from exiting, going to the food market where you are right now?
	It's called a seal, you dummy.
	It's a piece of paper, yeah.
	Well, for one, the food market's not even open.
	The folks who work at the food market are also locked out, but yeah.
	I can't go outside that door.
	There's a seal.
	If I do, physically I could do it, but I would break the seal, and there's repercussions for that.
	You have to have a community worker escort you to pick up food deliveries, if you're lucky enough to get them, and to get the government distributions if they happen to come.
	It's bizarre.
	Wow, if they happen to come.
	Yeah, if the government decides you can eat today.
	Right.
	He looks like Winona Ryder at the end of Beetlejuice.
	A little bit.
	Yeah, with the, like, scaly dead eyes.
	Anyway, I'm not condoning this, but I think taping CNN reporters into their homes in China isn't the worst thing China's ever done.
	It's a little based, just a little bit.
	At least they can finally give some honest reporting of, I'm hungry!
	Yeah, exactly.
	I'm scared.
	Good thing it's not just Stelter there.
	He's like, I'm fine.
	I'm okay.
	Might help the host of Reliable Sources shed a few libbies.
	Yeah.
	Why did you send me to China?
	Seal him into his apartment.
	I'm so hungry!
	Great.
	It's like that robot.
	I'm just surrounded by camera boys.
	So hungry.
	The robot that holds its S's.
	I'm not a robot.
	More of a kiosk.
	Can I get some dumplings in here, please?
	What do you mean there's no DoorDash?
	I guess my body will just eat itself for six months.
	I'll be fine.
	Oh, he's got a good 12 on there.
	That's what it do.
	Oh yeah.
	He's got a good 12.
	Brian's deltas are like the before and afters, don't look any different.
	It's like, hi, you haven't had food in six months and you, wow, you look the same.
	The end of seven.
	Got a lot of stored food.
	It's like the guy in seven who just like eats the bottomless food.
	An emaciated Brian Stelter is a scary thought though.
	He's 36.
	He looks better now.
	Jackson look hot look John. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh He's 36. Yeah, he would look he looks better now
	Yeah, when you get all that loose skin, it's like just just be you. Yeah
	Do we go are we gonna go right to the we have something we got a couple of them
	Oh, good.
	Do you want to go to the guest or do you want to keep going?
	I don't know.
	What do you guys think?
	Because it's, you know, the signals were confusing.
	They were.
	It's a real problem with communication.
	Do we go to the guest now?
	And signals.
	Are we good now or do we have a minute?
	We probably have a couple of minutes.
	Oh, good.
	Okay.
	So let's talk about this.
	Because it only gets better from here.
	Yeah, it only gets better.
	So in Guangzhou, all 18 million citizens were mandatorily tested.
	Oh my gosh.
	Yeah, because that's working out really well.
	Is it the back-end test?
	No, that was the Pete Buttigieg test, as they like to call it.
	The Charles Schwab and his brother Aidan Schwab?
	Yeah.
	I hear that's the most accurate one.
	Yeah, that's the best way to get it.
	That's what China told me.
	That's the way we like to test.
	That's what Garrett has as a request.
	Put it in my mouth.
	Can we do this the other way?
	Are you a scientist?
	It's an ass to mouth test?
	Yeah.
	Alright, now just open up. Can we do this the other way?
	No.
	You've already done it that way too many times.
	There's a limit to being accurate.
	Are you a scientist?
	Don't argue with the science.
	Do you want nine guys wearing paint suits to beat you up in the park?
	We'll get it.
	They're scientists.
	You're on the other side of the wall right now.
	Take your ATM swab and shut it.
	Well, you know, you remember when we had issues in Texas when Texas kind of froze over pretty much the entire state and everybody was panic buying?
	No, I don't remember that.
	Yeah, you definitely remember that.
	When Alex Jones came to visit us in a helicopter.
	That was great.
	Still thinking about it.
	He's still there.
	No, but you saw all the panic buying, so that's what's happening in the rest of the Chinese cities right now, especially those who are starting to get a few cases, because I think what triggered this was something like under a thousand cases that they saw, and they automatically started closing stuff down, while other cities are actually going through panic buying, where stores are starting to be looted, stores are running out of stuff, because they're like, oh, our city could be next.
	Right.
	So obviously if you're in a major Chinese city that thinks it could be next, what would
	you do?
	You would of course go and buy everything that you could get your hands on so that you
	don't die and so that your family—I mean imagine having a baby right now.
	I'd be terrified, especially there.
	The one that you kept now that their one-child policy is a little bit different, a little
	bit more— It's been lifted.
	Yeah, exactly.
	What if it's a female?
	Imagine not having enough baby food.
	And mom doesn't have enough food to be able to produce the kind of milk that she needs to to be able to nourish the baby, so breastfeeding is probably out.
	Imagine being in that case.
	What would you do?
	It's hate.
	In a government that has disarmed you and told every one of its citizens that conformity is the goal, what would you do?
	They have to revolt.
	I mean, you're starving people out.
	Because of Omicron.
	We don't want you to get sick, so we're going to starve you and kill you.
	Right.
	And we're going to make you so depressed that you're going to be more willing to jump out of a window than try to make it another day.
	That's the best example of the government just using this situation to go, well, we're going to turn up our power meter.
	You can't say anything because we're going to lock you in your house and we're not going to feed you.
	You're literally going to the point where you're jumping out of your balcony because you have no other option.
	Yeah, it's either a slow, painful death or a quick, sudden one.
	And the government just goes, well, we're the government.
	You gave us all the power.
	We're just going to keep gaining more and more.
	And that control is always easier when you herd people into cities.
	And all cities are run by one party.
	All major cities are run by one party in this country.
	So that's the kind of thing that you have to really be aware of.
	You know, look what happened in the subway.
	You put people on mass transit.
	You put people on a dependency of being in a condensate.
	New York City's a great example.
	There's no getting out if they were to dial up the power.
	Well, it was, I mean, New York in a lot of ways was, you know, it's sort of the opposite here in the sense of they removed all the authority from the people that needed the authority over them.
	You know, it's like we gotta let criminals go and do an open door policy, and then we need to attack people that have masks on, that don't have masks on.
	Same.
	Coming to a theater near you.
	This is stuff we talk about all the time.
	No, it's 21 days later, except it's been two and a half years.
	And zombies would be way easier to figure out.
	It would be!
	We could figure that out.
	You shoot them in the head, take care of them, get them out.
	She'll take care of it all.
	Just sucks.
	And as much as news reports or social media can help, first-hand story accounts really matter.
	They do.
	That's right.
	Absolutely.
	Story lives matter.
	The problem is the CCP does everything it can to limit the dissemination of information, including creepy-ass warning signs.
	Do not post pandemic related messages online.
	Do not enter or leave Beijing without permission.
	Spies are among us.
	Leaks may happen in an instant.
	Watch your own mouth or face punishment.
	Wow.
	That's very nice, right?
	Watch your mouth.
	Dude, it's disgusting.
	And so we are extremely lucky to have on our guest, calling in from Shanghai, who for obvious reasons can't be named.
	Do we have the Mug Club member from Shanghai joining us now?
	I Hello?
	Hello!
	How are you doing?
	I'm good, how about you?
	I'm doing fantastic.
	I would imagine.
	Yeah, I figured you didn't have anywhere to be.
	A little bit.
	So, can you give us a picture of what it's like in Shanghai right now?
	Like, is it better or worse than the media is showing?
	Well, okay, so I'm fairly privileged, you know, and I'm in a neighborhood with a lot of expats, so we're kind of doing a lot better than a lot of the lower socioeconomic Chinese at the moment.
	So we're able to get a little bit of food delivered every few days.
	A little bit of fruit, a little bit of vegetables.
	We can hunt online to find out who has some food and find someone who's able to deliver,
	who has the very special pass, who's allowed to be on the road
	and pay them an exorbitant amount of money to actually get the food delivered.
	But it's just what is actually available is very, very sporadic, yeah.
	I mean, were you, I guess if you're getting little bit of food you probably weren't that prepared.
	Like, was there any notice given to even want to prepare for anything?
	It was really, really quick.
	The total lockdown was really quick.
	It was kind of announced that it was going to be happening in like a day and it was supposed to be for four days.
	So we got together enough for about six days and now we're, I think, we're two and a half weeks in.
	Well, the good news is 14 days only turned into two and a half years, so we have that going for us.
	Absolutely.
	When they announced that, did you see everybody running out to panic buy, or were people by and large believing that the government was going to take care of them through whatever period of time that this was going to be?
	So everyone started buying as much as they could but most of the the shops had already kind of closed down because in our neighborhood we'd already been told, we'd already before the lockdown, we had already kind of been in a stay at home, don't go to work phase.
	So we'd already been, work had been shut down but we hadn't been locked in our apartment.
	So the local neighborhood shops were already and restaurants were already closed so we couldn't get deliveries.
	Most of us here don't have cars and so we rely on deliveries.
	I mean I've got an electric scooter and we go to the shop and we shop for you know a couple of bags of groceries at a time and so that's it.
	So you get delivery but now you know it's Yeah, it's whatever you can scrounge around.
	Gosh.
	It's what you eat, really.
	Yeah, I didn't know that the stores had been closed down prior to that, so that makes it even worse.
	I mean, it sounds, like, you know, horrifically bad.
	I know you're in a little bit better part of town.
	How do you think people, or do you have any information on how people are faring in maybe areas that are a little bit tougher, maybe a little less... Yeah, are the videos we've seen kind of accurate, that you know of with the suicides and that sort of thing, to be blunt?
	Yeah, it's tough.
	It's really bad.
	I can just pray for them and pray that the lockdowns are lifted soon.
	We're hearing that some neighbourhoods that have got no cases in the last five days are starting to be lifted, that they can actually go out for essentials from their neighbourhoods.
	And the neighbourhoods are very small, by the way.
	To the closed stores?
	Exactly, that's the problem.
	The stores are all closed and the ones that even are allowed to be open have no stock because there haven't been any deliveries from trucks and things like that.
	We were able to, just before the big lockdown happened, we were, a group of friends of mine, able to order a delivery from Costco.
	There is a Costco here now and there was very limited deliveries available Yeah, well, if you guys had bought something other than ketchup and mustard, that would have been a great idea.
	But you have a lot of that.
	Well, that's all that matters.
	They have toilet paper.
	Condiments.
	Works with everything.
	Do you have, uh, do you think there's, like, an end in sight?
	Do you actually see this as coming to an end?
	Do you have a little bit of hope?
	Maybe that's an odd question.
	It has to, right?
	It has to.
	Because, I mean, they've closed the Shanghai port.
	They've closed the Shanghai Stock Exchange.
	I mean, everything's closed.
	They are losing billions of dollars a day.
	And at this stage, it's just saving face, which is a very Chinese thing to do.
	They have to save face.
	And it's they put there this is their policy zero covered So and they can't be seen to back down from that because
	that would be losing face, but they are losing so much Money and also saving a losing face in the world that they
	can't deliver on on all the products that everyone needing the world
	But it's just I mean, they've done everything that we've been doing to cover tests a day
	for most of this week you know
	having to And it's just you know, people are literally starving. I
	mean we got a we got a delivery of Bacon and and sausages the other day and eggs and so we've
	pretty much been eating eggs and bacon and sausages for most meals
	And then I've got a half a jar of peanut butter and some old
	Soggy graham crackers that were found at the back of the pantry and so we've been eating that for a while
	but I've got to I've got two kids as well and Oh man, man.
	We have to do online school as well, you know, doing that at the same time.
	And it's fun and games.
	Are you worried about your kids with the policies?
	I mean, obviously you are, but I mean, what is the scariest aspect of that?
	I mean, and I don't mean to ask that personally, but you mentioned having them.
	Yes, so the biggest worry, especially in the early days, were if a kid turned up positive and the parents weren't, the child was taken from the parents and put into these quarantine camps and without the parents and without an advocate and no one in these camps, these quarantine facilities, whatever you night-black want to call them, it
	speaks English.
	And I mean, to be perfectly honest, my kids speak Chinese better than I do, but still
	nowhere near fluently.
	And that's just not going to happen.
	That's the time when we get the guys to go down to the square and get tamed.
	Yeah.
	So you don't you don't take my kids from me.
	And that's that's when things are going to get, you know, that's the line.
	It's just it's so brutally just dehumanizing to do that to people.
	Like I a lot of what I'm seeing, I just can't even believe like it's disgusting what they're doing to cats, let alone human beings.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And I guess being being from Australia, like how would you compare your situation now to what was going on earlier in the pandemic?
	Well, that's just disgusting as well, what was happening in Australia, especially the state of Victoria.
	But even at the height of the pandemic in Australia, in Victoria, you were allowed within five kilometres of your home, and you were allowed to go to the shopping centres and get groceries, and there were groceries at the shopping centres.
	You were just, you know, shot with rubber bullets if you tried to peacefully, you know, march and protest against the lockdowns.
	Those were the days.
	Yeah, here it's you can't leave your apartment. Shanghai is a city of 26 million people. So,
	unless you are a multi-millionaire, you've got a small apartment. And so, we've got four of us
	living in this small apartment. And my son's 11 and he loves to play soccer and basketball and
	run around and he's jumping out of his skin. Yeah, I can imagine. So, we're
	The reports that we get talk about the cases that are happening right now, but they don't necessarily give us, like, death totals, because we know that with Omicron, thankfully, it was much, much, much less deadly, and the symptoms, I was reading that most people won't even know that they're sick, and this was from an article, I think, on CNN, so lest we get in trouble from this.
	They were saying that most people are asymptomatic, and that they wouldn't even know that they were sick, in China specifically talking about this.
	This is the Omicron variant going around right now, and a lot of people may be getting sick, but do you see any numbers on people dying?
	Like, was there this mad run-up to, like, people are dying everywhere, we have to lock this thing down?
	No!
	Not at all.
	When the school got shut down with my kids, I think there was 96 cases in Shanghai at that time.
	And it's just, it's really confusing because they want to scare the absolute crap out of the population about the virus.
	By you know to keep them everyone in there in their apartments.
	They've got megaphones on drones They've got megaphones on robotic dogs Very creepy and You couldn't have partnered with Bose to build a speaker in like I had to tape a megaphone onto it geez Yeah, well doesn't look dystopian that way gonna make it look terrifying Oh Yeah, they don't shoot them when you get tested positive for Omicron.
	But, you know, it's, it's, where were we?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, the death rates or anything like that.
	It's so they're trying to get they're trying to scare the crap out of everyone.
	But at the same time, they're saying that no one has died from it.
	So I don't know.
	I don't don't understand the mixed messages officially that there is no one died in Shanghai from this wave.
	Right.
	Zero.
	None.
	Do you believe that?
	None.
	You know.
	I don't know.
	I will not have the Pfizer mRNA vaccine because of what I've heard with the mRNA technology, but I have, and I've kind of had to, but I've had the Chinese vaccine because it's pretty much like just saline solution anyway.
	They took the placebo?
	The placebo, yeah.
	It's basically, it's based on the dead virus vaccine, just like chickenpox vaccine, like all the other vaccines we've had.
	And so I didn't feel bad about that, because it's not new technology, it's old technology.
	And so it's not as effective, but it seems to have been, you know, not working, as in not killing people from the virus.
	It's just strange to me that they're saying nobody has died from this.
	I mean, it's hard for us to believe.
	Yeah, because jumping at a high rise is like 100%.
	Yeah, that doesn't count.
	That's dying with COVID, not because of COVID.
	Right, that's right.
	So there's a different way to count that.
	A lot of people have died with COVID, sure.
	In the first wave, people absolutely died.
	I mean, you know, there were pictures of the morgues being overrun and all of that.
	I mean, allegedly, of course, apparently.
	Some might have said, maybe.
	Those were shots, actually.
	You don't die from COVID if you're shot, so... Of course, yes.
	One might say.
	Different.
	But apparently, I mean, I haven't heard of anyone dying from this wave, but I mean, as you know, the information here is so filtered.
	Our main method of communication over here is an app called WeChat, and that is 100% monitored and edited and scrutinized by the CCP at all times.
	Yeah, we used to chat.
	Yeah.
	Not so much anymore.
	Well, I wish you a lot of luck.
	We really appreciate you calling in.
	I hope it lives for you very soon.
	I can't thank you enough for taking the time to share your story with us and thoughts and prayers.
	It sounds just pathetic.
	That's all we can offer.
	But yeah, prayers to you and your family.
	Not a problem at all.
	I'm happy to chat to the team.
	Yeah, well, and once you get out of there, give us a shout and maybe we can actually have you on if you're... We'll get a follow-up.
	Yes.
	We can get a little bit more information.
	I'll be back in Australia, I think, and for good, I'm getting out of this place early June.
	There you go.
	All right, man.
	All right, have a good one.
	Take it easy.
	Thank you so much.
	All right.
	Yeah.
	Not a bit.
	No, that was not a bit.
	That was scary as hell.
	100% real.
	Isn't that crazy?
	Scary as hell.
	It's a real guy in Shanghai.
	I think it's important to mention, this is what happens when you hear people say, well, I'm a communist.
	This is what you give up when you give up your rights.
	This is what happens.
	This is what the government does when they cause this sort of mass confusion.
	Any government does.
	You have nobody dying from this disease.
	They're starving their people.
	They're killing their people.
	To save face.
	Yeah.
	Like you said, to save face is part of that culture.
	Even if you're in the wrong, you save the face.
	Pull up CNN real quick.
	Apparently, we're going back to covering.
	Oh.
	Get him off of there.
	Get that guy out of here.
	New data, guys.
	Ooh, new data.
	I was having such a nice day, and then you brought Fauci up.
	He's back.
	I think I should feed a beagle's face to flies.
	What's he saying there?
	We put all the cats in the bags.
	We're following the science.
	The CDC is issuing new guidance for masks on public trains and planes for the next two weeks.
	They're going to keep the mask mandate for that.
	That's fine.
	That's it.
	So apparently getting to almost 70% fully vaccinated and having Omicron come through and basically After people getting that, you know, getting some kind of ability to fight this thing off a little bit, that's not enough.
	We gotta do more.
	I don't know where it came from.
	Was it the lab in Wuhan?
	No!
	Ah, no!
	Don't discover that for two years even though you said it before it hit.
	I'm a scientist, not a doctor!
	You're a pretty blonde thing.
	Have you ever seen a soft man with a one inch?
	How about a sand fly?
	Oh, you ever seen Snoopy lose his head?
	I got a whole lab.
	It's for science.
	I'm a monster.
	I made AIDS worse.
	Alright, well anyway, thank you all for tuning in today.
	We're gonna get off this platform because obviously we're talking about real issues and that's no good here.
	Not allowed You can see me in Virginia Beach at the funny
	But anyway, please comment comment comment. We love to hear your thoughts and we're gonna head off to Detroit
	We're gonna be back. We have Monday. Yeah. Yeah, is that right? Or is there something tomorrow? No, no show tomorrow
	Yeah, we're heading off to Mon off. Yeah. Yeah, but don't worry. We're gonna be back. Don't get all
	You don't go to Detroit you're sent there. Well, yeah, that's true. There's that they'll be taking a train anywhere
	We're from we love our Detroit fans. I do they need a hearty spoke
	They are a hardy folk.
	They have overcome.
	A lot of them are thick.
	A lot of them are thinking of moving to Shanghai for better conditions.
	That's true.
	Less fear.
	Anyway, piss off YouTube.

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