We empty out all the money in the cash register and Mr. Dumpington...
Dumpington...
Ha ha! I always thought that a press like me could squeeze and hold it in my cheeks like a turtle peak.
We please the masses by clenching it in our asses. Tijuana, Mexico, holding it to Tokyo.
People know me though, I swear my cheeks always work. It's like I'm about to give birth.
Unexpected fun, oh you heard? Kamala heard. She said it smelled like dead trout.
I tried to play the dork but it was on its way out. I didn't know what I was trying to say.
But it's alright, it's alright.
I never know the month, the time, or the day.
But it's alright, it's alright.
Woo!
Here comes the, Ray and I You know I play this podium round
Here comes the, Ray and I Holy s*** that was loud
Radio 9, holy s*** that was loud Here comes the radio 9, oh s*** think it's time to come out
Here comes the, Ray and I Oh s*** I think it's time to come out
Here comes the radio 9, man I need a towel Here comes the radio 9, you know I play this podium round
Here comes the, Ray and I Man I need a towel
Here comes the, Ray and I You know I play this podium round
Here comes the radio 9, holy s*** that was loud Here comes the radio 9, oh s*** think it's time to come out
Here comes the, Ray and I Holy s*** that was loud
Here comes the, Ray and I Oh s*** I think it's time to come out
Here comes the radio 9, man I need a towel I need a towel
You're a strange animal, that's what I know You're a strange animal, I've got to follow
I'm a speedy disco I'm a speedy disco
You're a strange animal, I've got to follow Hey, that's the sound of Monday because I didn't hear that
sound all weekend.
I know you missed it.
Before I mention anything else, today's a doozy, so if this show is not on YouTube...
Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
Eastern.
That means we're still available on the Rumble, free show, or a full additional, you know, like, one hour to the show on MugClub.
LetoCredit.com slash MugClub.
So don't—unless we tell you this show is still going on.
I just want to be very, very clear because we've had some tomfoolery happening with the YouTube.
And before I say—389!
$3.89 a gallon for gas in Texas.
And I know this is selfish.
It's your patriotic duty.
Because I drive an SUV.
You know, because I want to be safe and my kids not to die.
But!
It was 369 yesterday.
Oh wow.
Yesterday.
So I don't know if this gas station is pulling some shenanigans, but 369 to 389, which brings me to my question before anything else, question of the day.
What do you really think about Biden's foreign policy and what happened with all the people saying no wars for oil?
We're going to get into the international governments and their interest in oil and us not being energy independent today.
First off, if you want to be able to avoid wars, we need to be energy independent.
And if you want to not pay $3.89, Michael, for gas, it's not a mundane detail, we also need to be energy independent.
We'll be talking about that.
We'll be talking about Russia.
Before we get to all of that, I'm pissed.
You should be.
There's a lot of other stuff.
I have a relative right now who has cancer, not as bothering as $3.89 gas.
Truth.
It's a mild cancer.
Well, we have to drive this person.
I'm not going to drive them anymore.
You have to Uber for their chemo!
The co-pay is actually less than the gas.
The co-pay is less than the gas.
Don't even get me started on the deductible.
Do you accept receipts from Chevron?
No good.
Also, yeah, 7-Eleven, yeah, Venezuelan gas too.
So don't support 7-Eleven.
Also the fact that it looks like an episode of Lock Up in their bathrooms.
Quick Trip.
I'm a Quick Trip man.
Gerald A. is here with me.
How are you, sir?
I am well.
You don't like racetrack?
Don't even bring that.
You know exactly where I line up on racetrack.
Of course.
Just trying to piss you off further.
Oh, really?
That's a wonderful start.
And you know him.
You love him.
You can follow him on the Twitter at Landau Dave.
Dave Landau, how are you, sir?
Ahoy.
Good.
How about you?
I'm good.
You had a birthday weekend this weekend?
I did.
My son just turned seven.
Thank you, children.
That's a fun age.
And you had kids try to lift his gifts.
I had one kid trying to leave with one of his gifts, and I was like, yeah, no, I think we're going to keep those.
He's like, oh, I like it.
I'm like, that's nice.
Where are your parents?
Who are you?
My parents used to be heroin addicts, now they're methadone addicts.
Well, one kid did the thing where nobody's looking, he went over to the cake and started just fingering up the frosting and licking it, and I was just like, hey, do you need a napkin?
He's like, uh, yeah.
I'm like, where's your dad?
Why are you in here doing this?
I saw the president do it, so I thought it was okay.
Wonderful example for the children, this 95-year-old former vice president.
Okay, before we move on to anything else, and this is, you know, here's one thing I will say.
This show, if this is the only show that you watch, and it should not be, but if this was the only show that you watched, you'd be definitely better informed than 95% of the people in this country, namely because we provide all references at loudearthcracker.com in the pinned comment in the description.
The goal is for you to be able to be informed and not want to kill yourself.
So, I understand though it's tough to do when we're talking about gas prices today.
And I don't want you, for those of you who have firearms, if you, look, if you have firearms in close proximity, I just ask that you lock them up because I'm about to show you the San Francisco Walgreens robbery that escalated dramatically into... I'm trying to be careful here.
If someone chooses to act in a way that would be perceived as racist if someone described it, like if I were to describe this incident that you're about to see to a police officer, I would be up there, you know, with a picture of Ed Norton, American History X. So, see if you can catch why this is a problem that I don't want to describe the robbery incident before you watch the clip.
We have this person that is taking everything from the counter.
What you're watching is a Walgreens theft in action Tuesday.
It's not what professional photographer Nicholas Stennett is used to capturing.
Goes behind the counter and starts taking stuff.
I think maybe some COVID tests, a tray of batteries.
I think maybe some electronics.
Right now, pretty standard rubber.
Yep.
Just a guy with a shopping bag and no firearm.
Yeah.
I feel a little bad for the workers.
Here it comes!
with a shopping bag and no firearm.
Yeah.
I feel a little bad for the workers.
At one point, another customer begins to record and has his Here it comes.
Selfie smacked out of his hand.
The customer then tries to intervene.
Where does she want to go?
And is blasted with bunches of bananas.
There's a drive-by poaching.
There's bananas blazing everywhere.
He can throw bananas, you can't throw the... no.
Wow, that is, uh... The hair dye.
Oh, boy.
Now, you know if someone just walked in at the return throw, they're like, Hey, what's wrong with you?
Yeah.
Oh, bananas at him?
Don't do that!
The guy's shopping, I see his bag.
Throwing bananas.
Then they started throwing the Just For Men.
That pissed me off.
Yeah, I know.
Started throwing the Razor Bump lotion.
We need to start putting that behind the glass.
It's amazing you can casually shop while committing a robbery in 2022.
Like, he's deciding what he wants to take.
Yes, exactly.
Ma'am, could you move so that I could get, yeah, that one right there.
Are those the extra long life batteries?
Yeah, I like those.
I'm gonna need a ten and a half for my planner's fasciitis.
Just a pimp walking in, there's only one thing I like more than clams, and that's stealing!
Where's my money, honey?
Shut your mouth.
Here's a banana.
I was hoping a boomerang backed me.
Does anybody have, like, some stone fruit and shit?
Yeah, he's like, you couldn't have thrown an orange?
You gotta be racist?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm just surprised.
If I were to describe this man, It's a point, there's no good way for me to describe it.
No, it's bad.
Right behind him, cash registers right there.
Well no, there's less cash in the register than there is in his goody bag.
How hilarious would it be if he was like, yes, that is what you would say if you were ignorant and you did not understand the problem with our centralized banking and fiat currency with the current rate of inflation in the Federal Reserve.
That's why I am in cryptocurrency and Chiquita, bitch!
Oh shit, that was a dole.
I got my name brands wrong.
Do you have double A batteries?
Triple A. Yes.
Triple A. I know.
I just feel like I'm silly.
I thought it was double A. On the remote, it's triple A. It's very hard to tell.
Comes back to return them.
It's like, I'm just trading these out for the other ones I stole.
Can I get a store credit?
Can you let me steal the triple A's?
Thank you.
If not, I do have a gun in my bag.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're so kind.
You are my favorite victim.
This is America.
Wow.
Well, sort of.
I wonder what the Russians think.
I wonder what the Russians think when they look at this right now.
They don't have choice in their grocery stores.
Look, we only have one.
You are throwing bananas at people?
I would love if somebody threw a banana at me.
I would save them.
I would hoard like Donkey Kong.
I would catch it in my mouth like dog treats.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, so good.
Be better if you could peel banana and throw at me.
It make mess, but it would make it easier for me to get necessary nutrients.
All right.
Speaking of Russia... So hungry.
I don't know if you know about this.
Russian cats, now, we talk about cancelled quite a bit, but Russian cats have officially been cancelled in a stunning, frankly, stunning rebuke of Russia.
And they're going to feel this.
Absolutely.
The International Cat Federation banned Russian cats from their competitions.
This comes from Washington Post.
The Federation which considers itself, quote, the United Nations of Cat Federations.
Oh.
Hold on a second.
Two things I hate.
The United Nations and cats.
Just put them together, thank you.
And by the way, I think the United Nations would be more effective if they just had cats.
What do you think, Moldova?
Get into a fight, see who wins.
I agree, it's not worth the war.
They're our champions.
Sitting cats around a table.
Yeah.
You're dressed as Garfield.
One's got the babushka.
Yeah.
You must go.
It's a cat little Russian nesting doll.
Yeah.
All right.
It considers itself the United Nations of Cat Federations.
It said in a statement that it was, quote, shocked and horrified that Russian forces had invaded Ukraine and started a war.
No cat belonging to exhibitors living in Russia may be entered now at any Federation Internationale Feline show outside of Russia.
It should also be noted now that Russian cats are also going to be banned from the Cat Olympics.
So that's a big problem.
That's f***ing illegal!
Come on, that's not real.
Yes it is.
Can't be real, Mike.
I've seen them at the gym.
They are terrifying.
He just works out all the time?
It goes in order.
It goes Russian strength, Icelandic strength, Well, sorry.
I had a guy with Down syndrome in grade school pick me up and throw me across the hallway because he was looking for the other guy's ass to kick.
To kick, yeah.
That sounds right.
I saw one of those cats kick Odie off a table.
Killed him.
Well, that cat had Down Syndrome.
Yeah.
Big time.
That cat had a big, watery head.
Was it royalty?
Yes, it was.
It's a blue urine.
Hey, by the way!
Loudearthcrowder.com slash tour.
Dave and I are on tour.
We're going to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma, May 14th, and June 18th, Colorado Springs.
That show is almost sold out, so if it sells out, we will be adding another show in Colorado Springs.
So that depends on if we sell it out, because we're a little far out from it, but if it sells out this week, we'll definitely have to add a show.
A lot of people have been saying they want to make it out, so go to loudearthcrowder.com slash tour.
Okay, and other news.
Again, I don't want you to, if you have a firearm nearby, lock it up, because we're going to end this on a positive note.
Knives aren't even good.
No, knives aren't even good.
Put those away.
Don't make a sandwich right now.
No, don't swallow a knife.
Although, I don't mean if that's your profession.
If you're a sword swallower.
If you're a sword swallower.
In other words, I don't want to stop you from practicing.
Throw bananas at that guy.
He's a professional.
The only thing that would make him happier is if you threw sex swings at him.
Ooh, do it again!
But I don't know what the pricing is on that, if you can steal those from Walgreens.
No, you can't.
Just throwing a device at him from Burn After Reading.
Is this the floor model?
I'm a secretary!
I'd like a used one, please.
I feel like Pete Buttigieg walks in as a secretary, as you would expect a secretary from the 1950s to walk in.
Booty shaking and all the men are slapping his ass.
Yeah.
Who wants a two Manhattan lunch?
Not including myself.
I was pre-gaming.
You just see Don Draper closing the blinds?
Yes.
I'd like to share the world of Coke in perfect harmony.
Or he's like the first one they had to hire outside of like this, you know, misogyny of that time where it's like, ugh.
Yeah, can you bring me my coffee?
Please don't stay in my office too long.
Would you like, would you like creamer or sugar?
Because you're sweet and I'm sweet on you.
I'd like you to leave.
Oh gosh.
I'd like you to leave right now.
I have a corner office and I don't want you destroying it.
I don't want people seeing you in here.
So the Boston Marathon bomber, remember him?
Yeah.
He's still alive.
The brothers, right?
Yeah, the brothers.
I thought they were dead.
I did too.
One of them died.
One of the brothers.
Yeah, but I thought they were both dead.
I thought they were both dead because hopefully we had killed them.
No.
Turns out we hadn't.
Turns out that that's frowned upon.
Still alive.
So on Friday, the Supreme Court reinstated the death penalty for the remaining Boston Marathon bomber.
The other Sarnev brother.
Here you go.
The Supreme Court has just reimposed the death sentence for Boston bomber Johar Sarnaev.
Now, you'll recall that he was convicted of planting one of two pressure cooker bombs at the Boston Marathon finish line.
His bomb killed two people.
Also, he's the reason that it's illegal.
Bed Bath has a new policy.
They changed their return policy because I would return everything.
They also changed their policy.
They don't send pressure cookers or Instapots to people named Sarnev.
Ah.
True.
They have a 30-day wait period for a pressure cooker.
No, no, they have a no wait period.
You can't get a pressure cooker.
Not anymore.
Especially if you show up with a bag of nails.
It's true.
Makes it even harder to get a pressure cooker.
If your name's Sarnev and you show up with a bag of nails, you're going home empty-handed.
Aside from the nails that you brought.
Well, yeah.
You can get a waffle maker.
Yeah, you can get a waffle maker.
If you want.
Not as effective.
But who wants that?
I get one as a gift and I'm like, do you even know me?
They're like, you can make everything in a waffle maker.
You can make sandwiches, or I can make a sandwich not in a waffle maker.
I love a sandwich maker.
It's like, this isn't a sandwich maker.
This is just a sandwich heater.
Yeah.
If I wanted to make a sandwich, I have to make the sandwich.
It's not a maker.
No, it doesn't make it at all.
It's just what you mean.
Oh, you mean it's like a panini press?
Oh boy.
Oh, that changes the entire dynamic.
Shut up.
Yeah.
I had a sandwich and then I burnt my face with the cheese.
It was great.
Thanks for the gift.
Thank you.
Sticks to the bottom of my throat.
There are only three things that burn your throat.
Like cheese from a panini.
Yes.
It's cheese from a panini.
Pizza rolls.
Well, I guess there's four.
Pop-Tart filling.
Pop-Tart filling is one of them.
And napalm.
And napalm, it's true, yeah.
And basically, it's... I mean, they're synonyms.
I'd rather have the napalm.
I'd rather have the napalm.
You ever eat a Pop-Tart that you left in for a little too long and you feel confident because there's like a cold pocket?
Yep.
And then you get to that middle hot pocket of the Pop-Tart and it's just... It sticks to your throat.
You can't do anything about it.
It's designed to trick you.
Yeah.
Because you're like, when I touch it, it feels so cool.
Yes.
And in the middle, in the middle is hell.
Lava.
But here's the thing with the Boston Marathon bomber.
A lot of people, and we'll do this as well with the Vegas shooting, but a lot of people are not aware of the fallout and just how many curious coincidences have taken place with our most trusted, our institutions in which I would never want to in any way break apart your faith.
So I want you to have faith in all of our institutions.
But this brings us to this week's Curious Coincidences.
Mark Wahlberg's going to hate this segment.
Oh yeah.
I did a movie on the Boston Marathon bomber, okay?
If I was there, I wouldn't have gone down like that, alright?
That's what I do.
I would have looked.
I wouldn't even have to throw hands.
Looked him one time in the face.
He would have said, I'm gonna stop the bombing, okay?
I'd say, good, that's a good decision.
I heard an Asian guy.
We just pretend that didn't happen.
Yeah.
I committed a hate crime against an Asian, okay?
I go to church now.
It's fine now.
So, curious coincidences with the Boston Marathon, you may not have noticed, the FBI initially denied ever knowing anything about the suspects.
But then Sarnoff's mother said that the FBI had in fact interviewed her son.
Tamerlane.
Prior to the bombing.
This is exactly what she said.
The FBI knew what he was doing on Skype and counseled him every step of the way.
They told me whatever information he is getting he gets from these extremist sites.
They were controlling him.
They were controlling his every step.
And now they say that this is a terrorist act.
Never ever is this true.
My sons are innocent.
Now I don't know if that's true because the last part certainly isn't.
Dzokhar Tsarnaev claimed that he and his brother made the bombs alone.
This was a claim that you probably heard.
The FBI originally said that there were no trace evidences of bomb making found in their homes, meaning powder, meaning materials, nothing at all.
Then nearly two years later, the FBI explosives analyst David McCallum, he said that the explosive residue was found at the brothers' apartment.
So from no evidence to lots of evidence, Uh, but then he also said that he could not determine where the bombs were made.
Maybe it's where you found the explosive residue?
I'd start looking at their apartment.
God, he would suck it.
Where's Waldo?
Now, something else.
Finally, the FBI suspected the brothers may have been trained by jihadis in Chechnya and Dagestan.
The FBI, though, apparently missed Sarnev's travels to those regions and countries because variants of his name and birth date were not logged at all.
So the FBI Couldn't keep track of what is effectively a fake ID that could be brought to a pub.
So that's been this week's Curious Coincidences.
The Curious Coincidences.
I guess we'll never know.
So now it's a death penalty?
Before it was the cover of Rolling Stone?
That's right, yes, the cover of Rolling Stone, which makes him like the 60th worst person to be on the cover of Rolling Stone.
I think the Yoko John Lennon one was probably the worst for me.
Of course, do we have that?
Yeah.
Oh gosh.
Ugh.
Oh yeah.
Don't do that.
That's an oh no.
That'd be alright.
That is a very oh no.
He looks like a banana thrower in that.
And she doesn't even have, like, there's one thing, I will say this, I'm very open-minded with women, as far as I find all women attractive.
The only thing that I can't get past is if your glutes just look like a crevice with legs.
Like if it just looks like a crack.
Like, the coneheads, but only without the flap.
No, I don't know how he looked at her and was like, hmm, looks like somebody stole her ass.
I'd like to take a crack at that.
Yeah, looks like the kid at your son's birthday party.
I'll take this.
I'll take these.
Ass.
Can we bring that picture back up?
Ugh!
Looks like a spider monkey breastfeeding from her face.
He's on bath salt, Steven.
I will say, when the Boston Bomber guy was on there, I was like, is that a young Bob Dylan?
Is this a retro issue?
Here comes the story of the Boston Bowers.
No, you don't get to parody the song while you're committing a terrorist act.
Didn't he die shortly after that photo shoot?
Wasn't that one of the last?
Well, I hope.
I don't know.
How did he die?
I don't know.
With great pain!
I'm not a Beatles fan.
I hope you have great pain.
I hope it was extremely painful!
I was in a prison and as I escaped 20 men grabbed me and now I wear a mask.
You do the mask.
Yes!
Oh my face.
So many men.
It's not the weirdest thing.
Is that mask like, is it poison?
It keeps the pain at bay?
It does nothing!
It's still extremely painful.
It sort of keeps my jaw together after a long stay in prison.
I do not fear prison.
It's namely the penetration.
It hurts.
I can't chew anything since prison.
bananas you throw in my direction. If you blend the bananas it still hurts to eat. It still hurts to eat
because the straw requires movement from my jaw. The pain.
They lined up and I said no but they couldn't hear me because my mouth was full. You
think you're going to rape?
I was saved by it.
Molded by it.
Molded.
That's what I hope.
Molded in the darkness.
By the way, hey, smash that like button if you're watching on YouTube because we don't know what's going on.
Yeah, right now.
But the algorithms on YouTube.
Like.
Smash the like button, leave a comment, because if you type in the name of this show after the show, you can test it and you can comment below.
You won't find this show.
They're doing some things about this show.
Oh, it's hysterical.
If you type in the title of some of our videos, you won't find it on YouTube.
Which if they want to do, that's fine.
Just let everybody know that they shouldn't title their videos because there's no use in the title.
Yeah, or if you use certain words, it's like, we'll hide that one.
Right?
Does that happen?
I think it does.
Then they cross-reference.
Well, they can use CDC unless they line to just off-center of the political... You know what?
Let's just make sure that they can't be.
No, nobody needs to see that.
So you can also follow me on Instagram, by the way, because I'm on there, and apparently it's a ladder with Crowder.
Apparently we're still on TikTok.
I don't know how.
How is that possible?
We have to try really hard to get banned.
This is weird.
They're making us look bad now.
They're playing a game.
It's 3D chess.
Yeah.
That's the last time you make a fool out of me!
Please, just let me take a break for four minutes.
What a lovely, lovely horse!
Now, I don't know if you remember, this is something else that's been going on.
We're talking about, obviously, Russia, Ukraine has been happening.
And spoiler alert, I don't think we should be going to war.
But the mainstream media mocked Donald Trump.
And also, actually, they tried to paint him as an extremist and a Putin apologist for some of his comments about Vladimir Putin.
And then I'm going to give you some context and show you other people have said the exact same thing.
But they specifically went after President Donald Trump for his comments about Putin at CPEC.
Former President Donald Trump spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Orlando last night.
He condemned the invasion of Ukraine, but repeated his praise for Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Steve, Donald Trump read the words they put in the teleprompter for him, saying that the invasion of Ukraine was bad, but he did not retract his comments about Vladimir Putin being a genius.
The idea that Putin understood he doesn't play games.
All Donald Trump does is play games.
He hosted a game show!
That's the funny part, right?
Well, it's better than the former vice president who can't play games.
Well, that's true.
You ever try to play Jenga with him?
He just falls down.
You don't even get three blocks up.
You don't even get three blocks.
Connect four.
He can't even assemble the Jenga.
No.
Try Go Fish.
Nothing.
Twister.
Try to play Guess Who?
It's just left with a picture of him.
And Ariana Areola.
So they're trying to say that Donald Trump praised Putin.
Look, here's what Donald Trump actually said.
Yesterday reporters asked me if I thought President Putin was smart.
I said, of course he's smart, to which I was greeted with, oh, that's such a terrible thing to say.
I'd like to tell the truth.
Yes, he's smart.
The NATO nations, and indeed the world, as he looks over what's happening strategically, with no repercussions or threats whatsoever, they're not so smart.
They're looking the opposite of smart.
If you take over Ukraine, We're going to sanction you, they say.
Sanction?
Well, that's a pretty weak statement.
I love how, rather than say dumb, he goes with his first word and says the opposite of the word.
Yeah.
Like, listen, they say that they're, okay, they're not very smart.
They're the opposite of smart.
I'm not saying that Ted Cruz's dad killed JFK, but people say the opposite of him not killing JFK.
The opposite of what I say, are you saying that he killed JFK?
They say, we're not saying that he did not.
That's what they said?
Couldn't be guilty?
I think he's the opposite of guilty.
I think he's the opposite of guilty.
Okay?
Frankly.
Excuse me.
He's the opposite of that.
Excuse me.
No one's saying anything.
Excuse me.
He just says it for fun.
Why is it a bad thing to say somebody is smart or shrewd?
That's not praising them.
That is just calling it like you see it.
They could be an evil genius.
Yeah.
You ever heard the phrase?
Yeah.
They say you're smart all the time.
Yeah.
Well he rose to power, and he's obviously intelligent.
He's worked tens of billions of dollars.
He's one of the wealthiest people in the history of the world.
He basically got rid of all the legislative power that existed in his country, and I'm pretty sure he's had people whacked.
Oh, and they'd like him to call him stupid?
That would be the defense?
Yeah, he's just a dummy.
If he called him stupid, they would talk about Donald Trump underestimate.
Now here's the thing.
Let's first go to this, the hypocrisy here, because Sonny Hostin, who is ironically a host, I use that term loosely, with The View.
Yeah.
And when I watch The View, I always go like, oh, is this the remake of Hocus Pocus?
Is her name spelled Sonny?
Like S-U-N-N-Y?
Yes.
Yeah, Sonny.
Sonny.
I don't know, that hurts.
It does hurt, but... Sonny!
If it's like Sonny Green with an O... Maybe she'll go skiing.
Yeah.
We can...
Branches crossed.
Yeah.
All right.
Sonny Hostin of You said the exact same thing.
It was a strategic move by Putin.
I understand that people say he's a maniac, but maybe he's this kind of smart maniac, genocidal maniac, because when you take over a non-working nuclear plant but there's nuclear fuel inside it, amidst the threats that he has made about nuclear war and taking this nuclear, I think he's sending the message to everyone that not only can this get worse, it will get worse.
You know what's not smart is the Bridget Nielsen shoulder pads, okay?
So you might think it's smart, but it's the opposite of that.
Looking like you're on a chain gang in the 1950s.
Did she just say that he needed the nuclear fuel, basically, to make a threat to us when he has, I don't know, thousands of ICBMs?
Nuclear weapons.
Maybe a thousand hundreds of them.
That's what's gonna push him over the edge, is getting nuclear fuel in Ukraine.
All we have to do is go over here to Chernobyl, just free fuel.
Yes.
It's like, well, you have all of these No, no, no.
It's the Chernobyl stuff.
That's the good stuff.
Do you really think we need that, oh great president, oh great leader Putin?
Because we do have enough nuclear bombs to blow up country like Skynet five times over.
Better play it safe.
Go get one more.
All buttons for all bombs go on table.
That's why it is so long.
That's it.
You hit every button.
I even have a song about that so I remember.
All buttons go on table.
I like this shish kebab because the beef have good flavor.
And I push it.
Table is big.
Table is big.
That's two.
That's our song.
That's the rephrase.
Big table.
It's a rephrase to my bomb song.
Sunny Hostin, to be fair, her comments actually, and I'll say to be fair,
caused Joy Behar to have a very dramatic reaction.
Here's what she said.
You have to bring in the male AD.
Screaming racial slurs.
I mean, how should she know?
She only sits there every day for the last 20 years.
Yeah, she slides it out, slides it in.
Maybe today will be different and this chair will be... No, it still spins!
I just wanted to see the actual fall, though.
I was really hoping there was, you know, behind-the-scenes footage and we could slow it down.
We're all strong women!
Oh, I fell on the chair that swivels every day!
Please get a man to help me!
Oh, help me up!
Get a man!
I've fallen!
I broke my glasses!
He broke my glasses!
My shoes fell off.
Like Peggy from Lord of the Flies, someone steals her glasses and uses it to make fire?
I can't see without my glasses!
I was hurt, my feelings and my face.
Usually only my views are myopic!
Now...
Here's the thing.
He's saying that Putin, Donald Trump, President Donald Trump is saying that Putin is smart.
And if you listen to the comments, he's saying, you know, sanctions that don't mean anything without any teeth.
He's obviously implying that if you're going to take actions against Putin, they should be more severe.
That's not a guy who's saying, hey, I love Putin.
You don't say, hey, I want my friend.
To feel the full brunt of international military force.
You don't say that.
What he's saying is this is a guy who's pretty smart.
This is a guy who thinks ahead.
This is someone who you shouldn't underestimate.
Look, was Hitler dumb?
I don't like Hitler.
I'm saying this because... Not according to my tattoos.
Not according to yours.
Geez.
Which, by the way, we shouldn't have that on the chest.
Let's just turn it into... Let's turn it into a peace symbol doing cartwheels.
Okay.
Can I make it a kite?
Yes.
It is one of those issues where, why would you ever underestimate somebody?
Hitler, of all the issues that I have with Hitler, him having a low IQ is not, it's not at the top of my list.
I think you have to be sharp enough to commit a genocide like that.
And I think you have to be sharp enough, like Stalin, to effectively commit genocide, just based on class as opposed to based on a specific race or ethnicity of people.
So this idea that if you don't underestimate somebody, You are somehow praising him is silly, it's ill-advised, and it's what leads us to this kind of a conflict in the first place.
Remember someone said, now the 80s called, they want their foreign policy back.
And said Russia wasn't a threat, that was Barack.
He misunderestimated Putin.
And what happened?
Crimea.
Right?
What happened?
Joe Biden?
What happened?
Okay.
Ukraine.
We had Georgia under George W. Bush.
The only president who you can think of, the only president who praised Putin's intellect, not his moral fiber, is the only period of time where Putin didn't act up.
Also, this is something, a good parallel here is, you see this with athletes.
And the athletes who you see that stay at the top of their game for a very, very long time.
Meaning consistency, which is important.
I always judge athletes when people say, who's the best?
I think you have to look at people who are consistently the best over a period of time.
So I think, for example, in mixed martial arts, that would be Georges St-Pierre.
He was constantly emphatic about not underestimating his opponents.
I got humiliated and I've learned from that mistake because it taught me that I should never underestimate anybody.
There you go.
Now George St-Pierre is a perfect example.
A lot of people say he wasn't the best because he didn't have the crazy knockouts like Anderson Silva.
Well, no!
He wasn't a natural athlete.
He didn't have all these great attributes.
He wasn't that big for a welterweight.
But guess what?
He came in, the one thing that that athlete, for people who don't know or follow MMA, do research, he was known for having a master game plan.
He was able to take all of his opponents, who arguably could have been better fighters, to the place where they were weakest.
Because he would definitely take account of where are they strongest, okay?
This is where they are most capable.
Don't underestimate that.
This guy has really solid—I better take him down to the ground and put him where he's weakest and use my advantages.
That's why you have to accurately analyze and assess your enemies.
And of course, Putin is an enemy.
Enemy!
This is a perfect example of why people don't trust the media.
Don't blame Donald Trump or us for sowing mistrust in the institutions when you are blaming and raking President Trump over the coals simply for saying, don't underestimate this guy, he's pretty smart, and you obviously all agree with it because you're pretty pissed off about the situation in the Ukraine.
Yeah, and he's pretty well sized up his opponents in the world too, knowing that they're not really going All of the buttons fit on that table.
Every table has to fit all the buttons, just in case.
You never know when it's going to happen.
But he knows what the world's going to do, and he does it anyway because he's like, hey, I know exactly what they're going to do.
I'm not underestimating my opponents at all.
And I'm not praising him for that.
That's not praising him.
That's having a fair understanding of who you're dealing with.
Yeah.
You know who never underestimated his opponents?
Putin.
Putin looked at Trump.
Putin had to deal with Trump.
And despite the media lying about Russiagate and Russian spies and stealing the election, guess what?
Putin saw something in President Trump that he didn't want to play with.
He said, I'm going to wait this out.
He didn't see that in Barack Obama, and he certainly doesn't see that in President Joe Biden.
He saw President Joe Biden as weak enough that he could make a move.
And guess what?
Here we are.
And Trump knew how to deal with an egomaniac.
Yeah.
Because he's been in this business for how long?
Right.
He knew how to talk to him.
It's why he said like he says the opposite.
Right.
So he never hears the word dumb.
He only hears smart and reference to him.
Good point.
I mean that it makes perfect sense though.
Yeah.
It's also Bill Maher was kicked off of Politically Incorrect.
They canceled that show over a similar comment about the World Trade Center.
And it kind of shows you that the people in charge of television and media and everything they've always been about the divide regardless of political stance.
And that's kind of frightening to me because he said the same thing where he's like You can say that they're cowards or whatever, but you do have to worry about them.
Oh, which reminds me actually, if we can have the control room bring up, we got fact-checked by Reuters, and that is actually a great point.
Really?
Seriously?
The political divide.
Yeah, yeah, fact-checked on something that we never actually said.
Ah, so cool.
And I would love for you guys, you know, comment, that's one of the best things you can do for the algorithm, comment on if you think that Donald Trump is cheering Vladimir Putin, or if you think that he's a supporter of Vladimir Putin.
I'm willing to bet that I kind of know the answer.
But why do you think Donald Trump was saying what he said?
And why is it different than when someone on The View says it?
This is something that if you were an alien and you landed on this planet, you wouldn't be able to make sense of it.
No.
Okay.
Now let's move up to Joe Biden's failed foreign policy.
And specifically I want to focus, tomorrow we'll focus on Iran, tomorrow we'll focus on the devaluing of the dollar, because that affects everybody.
But I really wanted to focus today, especially considering what's going on with Venezuela, and gas prices. $3.89!
Today.
$3.89.
$3.89!
$3.69 yesterday!
I filled up this morning, too, and I have a pretty small tank in this car, and it's, like, $56.
I was like, wow!
Thanks, Joe Biden!
I take premium.
Oh, no.
Really?
Yeah.
Both my cars.
Oh, you get screwed.
I remember in 2008, there was a comedian, Rocky Laporte.
Do you know Rocky Laporte?
Yeah, I know Rocky.
And this was funny at that point in time, where he said, you know, they walk up when I'm in Jersey, because they fill your tank.
He says, hey, you want me to fill it up?
I said, nah, just put in, like, $80.
And at that point in time, it was an absurd enough number that everyone just got a roar from the crowd.
Now people are like, oh yeah, Haiti sounds good.
All of our California viewers right now are like, $3.89, that'd be fantastic.
Remember when you used to say five on one?
Yeah.
It's never going to happen again in your life.
Well, it happened under the first two years of Donald Trump.
Yeah, well, you would have gotten everywhere for $5.
I remember watching Dumb and Dumber, the second year of Donald Trump's presidency, and I saw in the film the gas price going, that's the same price as now!
I remember watching the same thing, where you're like, oh wow, these movies from the 90s are the same!
It's almost like inflation isn't happening!
And now you're like, oh, this is like Blade Runner.
Yes!
That took five minutes?
Yeah.
Jeez.
Yeah, you put five bucks in, you don't even make it to the out of the exit of the gas station.
And what I want to talk about with energy, look, wherever you line up, if you're an environmentalist or you are not, we're using oil.
Okay.
And I'll get to what former Vice President Joe Biden is doing right now to try and ensure that we're not maybe as dependent on Russian foreign oil.
But we are using oil.
We are not at the point where we are not using oil or petroleum products.
Okay?
Period.
That's just not the world that we live in.
It would be nice If we were at that point, I don't necessarily even know that it's necessary, certainly not anytime in the future, when we understand what really, especially now how we've refined petroleum, especially when we look at the more clean methods that we have for extracting it.
But that being said, it would be nice if we could run everything on sunshine and farts.
I get it.
Let's assume in a perfect world.
For real.
We're not in that world.
Joe Biden knows that we're not in that world.
The Democratic Party knows that we're not in that world.
And if we are in the world where we do use oil, if you want to not have to engage in foreign wars, if you want to help the American people, if you want to actually avoid destabilizing regions across the globe, we should be dependent on our own energy resources.
And here's the good news.
We can be.
Tomorrow.
There's no reason for us not to be.
Now, it'd be one thing if we didn't have the reserves, so we had to import oil.
Because we didn't.
That's not the case.
Which begs the question, we're using oil, we know that we need oil, we know that we need petroleum products, and we have enough to never require importing from anyone at all if we didn't want to, why are we still dependent?
And where are all the people who said no war for oil going to?
So, here's the thing.
Biden actually wants to open up potentially oil in, oh you think like a lot, no
Venezuela. So on Saturday US officials traveled to Venezuela to meet with members of
Nicolas Maduro's government and the going narrative is that they're seeking
to separate Caracas from Moscow. Here's what's interesting right, think
about this, I would not meet with Putin, you hear all this grandstanding.
You're meeting with Maduro?
Yeah, didn't he give a book to Obama?
And shook his hand?
And Sean Penn said it was unfair to say that he wasn't democratically elected and the United States is trying to vilify Maduro?
This is a man who starved his own people!
Yeah, well they had plenty of toilet paper, just no food.
He's every bit as corrupt and violent as Putin.
He's just, I mean, in an arguably even shittier country.
Well, Sean Penn will punch a photographer, but then he'll go meet El Chapo.
Right!
Your radar of dickhead is really something.
That's because I'm shooting a documentary on El Chapo.
Wrong one, Dad.
I like Crispin.
Here's the thing.
A lot of people are speculating, of course, that Biden is looking to Venezuelan oil as what?
A replacement for Russian oil!
That's the idea.
Russian imports.
So let me read this, actually.
Trish Reagan, a Fox Business presenter, wrote this.
It's not just U.S.
officials meeting in Venezuela right now, it's also key executives from major U.S.
oil companies, including Chevron.
This is real, folks.
If agreements are reached, we will replace Putin's oil with massive oil reserves from the Orinoco region of Venezuela.
So, hold on a second.
You're just trading one evil dictator for another!
Yeah.
He's just closer to home, so, you know, it's an easier dictator to work with.
Is it me?
You guys can comment.
How does anyone see this as a net gain?
No.
How can anyone complain about Vladimir Putin and say we need to put on sanctions and we need to freeze their assets?
Okay, we need to freeze their assets.
We need to make sure they can't conduct business.
By the way, there aren't sanctions on Russian oil right now.
No.
Just so you know.
Surprisingly so.
We're still importing oil and petroleum products from Russia, just so you know.
So let's assume that we at some point put a stop to that, which I would be all for, But rather than becoming dependent on our own resources, which we have, we just shift it to Venezuela.
Are you looking for the shittiest, most dictatorial countries?
Is that one of the prerequisites?
I think so.
Is oil really that bad that you have to go to a socialist?
Maybe it's because it's socialism and they think that's our people, right?
And we like socialists even though they just... We're only talking about replacing a small amount of oil according to the administration, right?
It's only like 10% or 8% of what we actually need.
I think 3% comes from Russia right now.
Well, 3%.
Well, that's not even as high as I thought it was, right?
Right.
So, you mean that it doesn't take turning on much of the oil supply in the United States to actually replace Russia?
Right.
That's what I'm hearing right now, because we're sending $70 million per day to Russia.
By the way, we're not sending it to Chevron, a company.
We're sending it to a state-run organization that sells oil.
Read that as the Kremlin.
It goes right into their pockets.
We're funding both sides of the conflict right now.
We're giving aid to Ukraine, and we're funding daily, when we could stop it if sanctions really were meant to stop this, tomorrow.
And we sent something around $17 billion to them last year.
Right!
We're funding the Russian state as they wage war against Ukraine, and then you bitch about how Donald Trump is praising Putin when Donald Trump was the one who wanted to make us... Well, we'll get to the stats on oil and Trump.
Hey guys, I've been in a fracking earthquake, thank you.
Allegedly, and I just want to let you know, I almost woke up.
Really?
Yeah, almost.
So this is... It's a good thing you have that adult-sized snooze crib.
Well, I do.
The white noise and it gently rocks them because it mimics the womb.
I roll out of bed without it.
I got my feet stuck in the bars.
I got my head stuck in the bars.
Well, you know.
It's like, is this jail?
You're not a Sarnev.
Oh no!
My head's stuck!
It's like I'm totally exposed!
This is going to be extremely painful!
I'll be here a while.
Now, okay, so Venezuela, you say, well that's one country.
Alright, sure, that's one.
I don't want to take just one extreme example to make a point because we're not allowing us to... By the way, like you're talking about...
As far as 3%, how much of the United States, of our reserves, would you need to... It'd be the equivalent to the amount that you turn on your tap just so the pipes don't break.
That's about as much oil as we could just open up here in the United States to no longer even have to worry about Russia.
That's the new hashtag.
Trickle the tap, Joe!
Trickle the tap.
That's all we need.
Shut off Russia.
You know what?
Sweetie, pick up my Flomax.
Oh no.
Tell Hunter to stop trickling his tab.
Yeah.
It's not a trickle.
It's more of a dribble.
So, we also do know for sure, we don't know for sure if they're going to Venezuela for oil, but I can guess, but we do know beyond any shadow of a doubt that this administration is going to Saudi Arabia.
Oh.
For oil.
They're discussing, in the spring, pumping more oil.
So, let's just be clear, this is a Saudi Arabia who the left blamed Donald Trump, right?
They said that he was awful because he didn't condemn them enough with, I can't pronounce the name, Al-Khashoggi.
Something like that.
The journalist.
The journalist who was killed, yeah.
By the way, to be clear, not a fan of the Saudis.
Killed, dismembered, and taken out of there.
Can I say Saudis or is that racist?
Is Saudis the equivalent to like, it used to be Pakistani but then you can't say Pakis?
I'm gonna assume it's racist just because everything is, right?
What's the Saudi royal family?
So you can say Saudi.
Oh, I guess you can say Saudi.
Okay.
I don't know.
Can I say Saudi?
Can someone fact check that for me?
I just want to make sure that I know as I'm offending people because I'm going to continue to use it anyway.
So the left decided that Saudi Arabia, remember Michael Moore did all this about Saudis, right?
Oh, I like him.
George W. Bush, yes.
Oh, he's good.
George W. Bush is a matter of fact.
What do you mean I can't have four patties?
Just act like it's on your secret menu, sir.
We can't do that at the same price.
We'll go bankrupt.
It's a triple Big Mac.
I'm making that for you.
It's a ridiculous sandwich.
So we can hear your cholesterol numbers increasing from here.
That's just the cushion on my... I have to wear beads on my chair.
How do I still have feet?
So let me give you an idea.
In 2021, the United States imported about 709,000 barrels of petroleum products per day from Russia.
Okay?
Sounds like a lot.
Now here's also the major point, and we'll get into prices and we'll get into what kind of reserves we have here and why, if you're an environmentalist, you actually want us to be dependent on oil.
Let me be careful with the word.
You don't want us to be dependent on oil.
I understand that.
But you want us to use oil that is produced domestically if you are an environmentalist.
You can't just say, well, I don't want us to use oil.
Well, we do.
That's not on the table.
Let's be clear about that.
What's better for the environment?
Us using our own oil with our extraction methods.
And, geopolitically, not being dependent on nations who either, A, want to kill us, or B, kill their own people, or C, just declare themselves princes because apparently you're allowed to do that in Saudi Arabia and it's silly.
I'm a prince.
If I hear one more person tell me how impressive Dubai or Abu Dhabi is, it's like, yeah, it was built by slaves, sorry, indentured servants, and some guy takes the money because he's a prince.
There was only one prince, and he died.
Yeah, whatever.
Don't you dare insult prince.
Not.
I would never do that.
Yeah, you would never do that.
Good.
No, we just want to be clear about this.
So here's one thing.
Remember when Trump was mocked?
President Trump was mocked because he said that he wasn't, I think everyone knows he was a non-interventionist.
Yeah.
And that's a big problem now, where people say, oh, he didn't do enough to go after Putin, right?
So I'm always wondering where Code Pink went, where they said, no war for oil, no war, period.
They disappeared under Barack Obama with more drone strikes than any president in history.
And they kind of reappear with Donald Trump saying, hey, Donald Trump, he's not doing enough going after Putin.
I guess rage against the machine, and I guess no effects.
I guess all the punk rock bands now are on board with all Democrats and all Republicans, by the way, two sides of the same coin, who want to restart the war machine, basically All of you people out there, all you punk rock rebels, you're in the same boat as, well, former Vice President Biden, Kamala Harris, Lawrence O'Donnell, and John Bolton.
Good company.
So here's what Donald Trump said about war.
He said that he would only go in, and he was mocked, he was excoriated for this, if he takes the oil.
ISIS is making a tremendous amount of money because they have certain oil camps, right?
They have certain areas of oil that they took away.
They have some in Syria, some in Iraq.
I would bomb the sh** out of them.
And that's right.
I'd blow up the pipes.
I'd blow up the refineries.
I'd blow up every single inch.
There would be nothing left.
And you know what?
You'll get Exxon to come in there in two months.
You ever see these guys, how good they are?
The great oil companies?
They'll rebuild that sucker brand new.
It'll be beautiful.
And I'd ring it, and I'd take the oil.
And I said, I'll take the oil.
And this is something that he was even asked, I believe, in the 2012 primary.
And he said, I would only go into these countries if we take the oil.
I don't think you realize that until really the 20th century, that was every war ever.
When we're talking about war right now with Russia and Ukraine, that's not even something that an empire could have comprehended.
You mean there's these two nations that are warring across and it has nothing to do with us?
No, we're not going to get involved.
We only get involved if we take their stuff.
There had never been a country, never been an empire, that would win a war and leave the shit.
Just to be clear, do you know what a war for oil looks like when people talk about Iraq, when people talk about even Desert Storm?
We left.
Do you know what a war for oil looks like?
It's surround the oil fields, provide air support, protect it at all costs, and take the oil.
We packed up and left.
And by the way, after Desert Storm, you ended up with the absolute travesty that was Saddam Hussein.
You went back and you guys complained about it.
Rightfully so.
But you want to do the same thing with the Ukraine.
Hold on a second.
You were against going into Iraq, which what?
Involved liberating the Iraqi people from a leader who was killing some of his own people?
You said we shouldn't have been there, it wasn't our business, but now you want us to go to the Ukraine?
Let's just try and be consistent here.
Now as far as oil, Gas, $3.89 today.
Today!
In Texas, where that doesn't happen.
Yesterday it was $3.69.
This is my anecdotal experience, but you can also look at the average gas prices and how they've increased.
The highest ever average gas price in Texas happened in 2008, $3.99.
$3.99 a gallon.
We're so close.
So we're right there.
Or in today's dollars, $78.13.
In Biden dollars.
What's that in rupels?
We don't sell rupels anymore.
Our currency is measured in table length.
Measured in nukes, actually.
This grapefruit costs 98-inch table.
Oh, that is some great fruit.
Well, I don't want to part with this table, but how much for pomegranate?
Well, you need table size of four football field lengths.
Deal.
That's a good fruit.
But my body needs the antioxidants.
Okay, bring in the hardwood.
This one's very nice.
It's a fruit wood.
Strawberry wood.
Yes.
So, under Donald Trump, in Texas, the average oil price never went above $3.
Average gas price, yeah.
Yeah, the average gas price.
Sorry, the average gas price.
I'm getting oil and gas.
Oil and gas, I mean, it's, you know.
And we had many, many, many, many months where, you know, it was well under $2.
Oh yeah.
Oh, it was quite a while.
I remember seeing that and thinking, Newt Gingrich is an idiot.
Because Newt Gingrich said, I'm going to run my campaign on $2 gas.
Well, OK, that was one component of what Donald Trump did.
That's all you were going to do?
That and bring back, try and create a real Jurassic Park?
Newt?
Yeah.
Well, look, is it any surprise from the group that thinks that gas prices need to be higher so that we'll transition off of oil products and go on to clean energy products?
Like, that's exactly what they've been doing.
Force people to buy smaller cars?
Not only gas, by the way, petroleum, with this plastic, if you're watching this on a screen television, petroleum.
You have earring clips, petroleum, likely.
Just to be clear, I don't think people have any idea as to how many of their products require petroleum, let alone gas.
All of your food has to be transported.
So when that gas price goes up 20 cents in a day, what do you think?
Look at the price of beef.
It creates inflation across the board, which Biden now said he's going to bring down by lowering prices.
Hold on a second.
How?
Why would you want to bring inflation down when you said inflation was a good thing three weeks ago?
Well, and how are you going to mandate lower prices?
I'm just gonna come in and tell.
What, you're gonna shake him down like Putin does?
Wonderful.
Oh, there we go.
Well, everything that you're looking at was made by something that they found on Earth.
Right.
Yeah.
Just pointing that out.
And sometimes it's messy to make.
Yeah.
Everything.
Can you imagine this was just forests and stuff, and now we have iPhones?
That's just from stuff here.
That's just from stuff here.
Bananas!
People don't even realize that a big part of that is because of factory farms.
That's why there are more trees right now than recorded human history.
Why?
Because not everybody has to have a farm!
Well, because you can actually take down a forest and then replace it, and then take down another and replace.
Right.
Plus, we can also just leave the forest because I can just go to Kroger and get the same thing.
I don't need a plot of land.
Also- Drainage ditches.
I don't know anything about drainage ditches.
Plows.
Also, I don't care about rainforests.
Have you seen the animals there?
I don't want to do- Spiders and stuff?
No, thank you.
And annoying bats.
Snakes.
Burn them.
Annoying bats with Robin Williams voices.
I don't care for that at all.
They sing.
Fern gully sucked.
Yeah, it was not a magic rainforest.
No.
Imaginably unacceptable.
In case you've forgotten, remember, the big chant against our wars for a long time was
what, what, the words, no war for oil.
None of the behind the scenes planning for Iraq's oil is publicly known and the administration
leaves oil out of the public conversation altogether.
Masks!
But a large segment of the American public suspects that oil is a motive.
No blood for oil becomes an anti-war battle cry.
No more blood for oil!
US off Iraqi soil!
No more blood for oil!
US off Iraqi soil!
No blood for oil!
We the problems in the world!
No blood for oil!
Scooby-Doo?
You guys wearing the Dumb and Dumber suit?
Yeah, he's just got... Why is he wearing... He's got the bullhorn in the orange, the guy's got the powder blue with the sign.
Gotta coordinate.
By the way, a lot of people worked hard on those signs.
A lot harder than other people in the group.
Yeah.
Hey, by the way, no petroleum products involved in the Sharpies for those signs, or the camera that you used, or the backpack that you carried down there, or regardless... I didn't drive, I took public translate... public transport.
What does that run on?
What is that run on?
Can you tell me?
It's more people in it.
Oh, good.
Yes.
Oh, wait till you hit 2022 and it's all about germs.
And the point that I want to make here is, look, people often say, oh, you're being an ideologue.
There's nothing more exemplary of an ideologue than someone just saying, well, we should just be on clean energy, like Jen Psaki said.
Well, we don't want to open our reserves because we want to transition to green energy.
Yeah, but at the same time, you're meeting with Saudi Arabia and Venezuela.
Now, how about this?
Instead of replacing Russian oil with that, we could, while still trying to pursue green energy, whatever that means, here are some practical things we could do.
Don't want to be a John Oliver and just bitch and not provide you a solution.
There you go.
We could open up Keystone Pipeline, Keystone XL.
That worked.
By that same token, still expand fracking, by the way, which is actually a much safer way to extract resources.
And I'm talking about oil, of course, and natural gas, all of this, all of the energy that we need.
We could explore Arctic reserves in Alaska.
I don't know if you know this, not a whole lot of shit to do in Alaska if not use the oil.
We could sell onshore drilling leases for oil.
We could reduce some regulations that don't allow people to actually open up more onshore drilling or offshore drilling.
Basically, we could allow more people to access the current unbelievably rich energy reserves that we have.
And by the way, here's something else, too.
If I'm not mistaken, isn't it true that former Vice President Joe Biden, he's the first president to... he hasn't allowed any new onshore drilling leases?
I don't know, you guys can bring that up.
Every time they get asked that question, they talk about the offshore stuff.
Right.
So a tweet right now that's been gaining traction, this is right now trending.
At the moment that I am discussing this, for people who are watching the archive, it is 11.26 Eastern.
This is gaining traction right now on Twitter that the U.S.
is pumping more oil under Biden than under Donald Trump.
Now, unfortunately, I always start from the fact that someone's massaging the numbers, like economists.
Like when the Biden administration said, actually, inflation isn't that bad.
And they said, well, actually, inflation is a good thing.
And they said, and actually, now we're just going to bring down inflation by forcing them to reduce prices.
Well, why would you need to bring down a good thing?
None of it makes sense.
So I assumed there was some truth to this tweet.
Trying to go, well, maybe it's because of residual sort of effects from the previous policies, or maybe it was a supply and demand issue because of the pandemic and people weren't traveling a whole lot.
Well, it turns out it's just a lie.
Really?
It's just an inaccurate tweet that has thousands of retweets and likes.
So right now I have this from CNBC.
2019, they're pumping out $12.29 million per day.
In 2020, $11.28 million per day.
2021, 11.18 million per day, so it's consistently been going down.
And under Biden, the percentage of U.S.
oil imports from Russia has hit a two-decade high.
So one guy says, hey, hey, hey, listen, Putin's not an idiot.
Don't underestimate him.
And Biden goes, I think Putin's a moron.
Sure.
How much did you say that oil was?
That's incredible.
That is absolutely incredible that it's gone down that much, and they're still out there parroting that we are still a net exporter of petroleum products.
We were!
No, they're staying it right now because of natural gas.
Right.
Insane.
Yeah.
Right?
They're lumping everything together to make it look better than it is.
And, hey, we have plenty of offshore drilling leases.
There's about 2,000, Pisaki said.
I always have to say the P. Yeah.
That are not being used right now.
Yeah, it's not silent.
It's right there.
Right?
It's right there.
It's like, oh, well, what about onshore?
What about that?
Because we don't have a lot of luck offshore with the issues that you think happen all the time in oil with things blowing up and loiking into the Gulf.
Drive a Tesla, Doocy!
Stop asking questions!
We don't want to hurt the environment of America with jobs.
Yes.
Because we should trust Venezuela, we should trust China, Iran, and Saudi Arabia to do it right.
Yes, they have much more stringent regulation standards.
Oh boy, yeah, we better make sure our energy extraction is clean because of EPA.
Oh no, it's gonna blow, just throw 100 people in.
Oh by the way, while you're doing slalom at Olympics, just be sure to bring your umbrella from oil coming out of factory.
Sorry, it's more coal.
You ever see October sky?
We should just go to different parts of Africa.
I hear they're, you know, maybe General Butt Naked.
That was a real guy.
Could sell some oil.
Yeah, let's see what Kony's selling him for right now.
I wonder what it would cost to soak a tire in it and put it around someone's neck.
Let's go to those places.
And burn the tires.
See what happens.
That's what they do.
For real, though.
Oh, I know.
I know.
It's terrible.
Now, you're using everyone kind of understands that energy independence energy it's vital
for national security.
And again, what this comes down to, and I hope people understand, I'm not saying that
it's a good thing that Americans use more oil, and I want us to use more oil, and I
want us to destroy the environment.
I think it's overblown as to how much the use of fossil fuels destroys the environment.
That being said, I also understand that you can only negotiate from a position of strength
if you are not dependent on someone else.
You can't negotiate with tyrants if you are beholden to tyrants because you refuse to use the resources that you have at home.
That's just simple international diplomacy 101.
So, you know who else understands this?
Elon Musk, speaking of Africa there.
I found out his accent is African.
I was always trying to determine what it was.
Was it really?
He said, I hate to say it, but we need to increase oil and gas output immediately.
Extraordinary times demand extraordinary measures.
Here's the thing, the one thing I disagree with is, I don't really think that that's extraordinary measures!
That just makes sense.
I don't really think, like, hey, guys, can you clean up that naturally oozing puddle of oil with, like, can you grab a ShamWow or something and instead just be like, hey, we could use that.
Yeah.
I don't think that's an extreme measure.
I think it's an entirely reasonable measure.
You know what his other tweet was?
And we didn't pull this yet, but it was that Europe needed to ramp up nuclear facilities.
Now.
Oh boy.
Because it's clean.
Oh no!
It's actually clean energy.
And he said, if you're worried about this, he's like, I will go to any place on the planet that you say is infected with, you know, radiation or whatever, and I will eat produce produced there, live on television.
He's willing to call people's bluff.
He's like, I did it with Fukushima.
Wait, hold on a second.
He'll eat produce?
He's saying, like, that area has been, you know, tainted with radiation poisoning or something like that.
He's like, fine, I'll go eat something that was grown in that area just to show you that your concerns are overblown.
But don't make him angry.
He's pushing it.
Because then he turns into Hulk Musk!
That's right.
I can no longer fit in a Tesla X!
I'll never go to space!
This is a Tesla Triple X. So big!
Michael Moore edition.
Yeah, flamethrowers and headlights.
It just devolves for me.
Mad Elon.
Here's the thing.
If a nation is not completely autonomous as it relates to resources, you will have to go to war for resources.
And a lot of people don't understand this.
You know, we talked about, for example, during the pandemic, the lockdowns and people not being allowed to work.
Well, let's look at what that is.
What is it?
What action are you taking when you tell someone they have to stay home, when you tell them that they cannot conduct their business?
right? Otherwise they will face the force of government.
You are removing their ability to make a living to feed their family. Guess what? Wars
were fought over that. Period. When you tell somebody, hey, you know what? Actually, you're not going to
be allowed to be dependent on your own resources. It could be farming. It could be whatever
they need to process food.
It could be hunting grounds.
You can't, guess what?
People go to war.
And not just the United States.
Look at the Native American tribes.
When people say give the land back, for example, Black Hills, they go, which one?
Do you have any idea how many tribes have controlled different portions of land at different points and do you know why they fought it?
Partly because some of the tribes were cruel, they would do it for sport, but a big part was resources.
Land.
If there was land that was fertile, they would fight you for that land because it made it easier to provide for their family, and we're just too far removed from this because we've had it pretty soft for a good amount of time.
I don't know if you know this, but remember, access to oil in Dutch East Indies, that was a huge factor that led to the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor.
It's not that far back!
No, no, no.
We cut them off, and they did the math.
They knew that if we had cut them off, that we were 80% of their supply, and we were about to go to modern-day Indonesia and cut them off for the rest of their supply.
Yeah.
Well, we have to bomb now.
Right.
I'm not saying they were right to do it.
Don't get me wrong.
But they did the math and realized, we're going to have to fight this.
Otherwise, we will never have the ability.
I always wonder if those first Kamikazes who came over actually saw the kinds of fleets that we had at that point and were like, oh shit!
Everybody can't turn back because he doesn't have the oil reserves in his tanks at that point.
He's like, take a hard left turn!
No, just, you're in it now!
The fuel gauge was at Kamikaze setting, one way trip.
You've got just enough to get there.
Good luck.
I hit the auto safety land.
Oh no, it's an auto... It's not an auto pirate at all!
No!
Yeah, they were all remote controlled.
I thought that was a bad pirate.
Just the Japanese emperor with an RC remote.
Tried to pull up.
Don't pull up!
You pull up, it just goes down?
Yeah.
No.
He just told them all that none of the rights is left.
Kamikaze stand for soldier who is super cool.
My brain go by itself.
Go kamikaze, I'm in a super cool.
How come none of the people that go before us come back?
Oh, don't worry.
Oh, they're on a vacation.
Yes.
They're on a break after being super cool.
Yes.
They all ranted in Hawaii, having fun.
Have a great time.
Enjoy.
Welcome with open arms.
Yes.
You go.
Yes, say bye to your family.
Okay family, I'm about to go.
Be super cool!
Bye super cool dad!
See you soon!
And then a kid doesn't realize what happened.
He's just mad that his dad's not spending enough time with him.
He's Japanese, Harry Chapin.
And a cat and a cradle and a super cool.
He said, have you read that?
Better boy cool.
When you coming home, dad, I don't know when, but you're like a super cool dad.
Oh, you're a super cool.
It's now a South Park episode.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
My dad was just like me.
By the way, if you think the United States is impervious to these demands, remember,
the reason that we're talking with Venezuela and we're talking with Saudi Arabia is that
the United States uses nearly 20 million barrels of oil per day.
China's number two at about 12.75 million, and that's just because a lot of those people... I mean, look, I will say, the reason that they use less is because they don't really have access to the best cars.
Like, that's why you'll see an entire family in 19 chicken coops going up a steep incline in a Honda Cub.
Well, yeah, that's true.
You had one.
I did.
My first motorcycle was a Honda Cub.
You could run that thing on vegetable oil.
It was indestructible.
And the thing with this Honda Cub, for people who don't know, you know what, you guys can comment, people out there who are motorcyclists.
It was my first bike ever.
It's the most sold vehicle of all time.
I think something like 60, 70 million Honda Cubs have been sold.
It's crazy.
Wow.
Because it's like a scooter in the sense it's low CC, low emissions, but it has gears, but it has no clutch, which you would think makes it easier.
No, it makes it way harder.
Because if you have a motorcycle where you kind of ease out the clutch and you shift it... When I used to ride this thing, and I would be in traffic, if I wanted to shift gears, you have to completely go off the throttle and kick that clutch.
You're gonna... And you almost get hit every single time.
That's why you bring nine chicken coops uphill.
Exactly.
Right, yeah.
That's crazy.
Just to keep it in the first gear.
Yeah.
Keep it in the first gear and violate all high safety protocols.
Super cool chicken put on motorcycle.
Super cool Honda Cub even though it's a different country now.
I don't know my world.
But Taiwan is not a thing.
There's still a lot of those around, too, aren't there?
Oh, yeah, there's still a ton.
They re-released them.
Oh, is that why?
Yeah, they also re-released them.
And I won't say that I violated motor safety laws.
They certified mine as a scooter, even though it was 70cc.
They're supposed to be under 50cc.
At the DMV, it was actually a black lady.
She's like, Is this a scooter?
I was like, well, I don't know.
It's a Honda Cub.
It looks enough like a scooter.
Certified.
There you go.
So if you have a DUI, it doesn't count.
There's your ride.
So this is kind of... And I know, Gerald, you had some points, but this is where we are in this country is...
I don't want to go to war.
And I don't think we should go to war unless it benefits us.
I don't believe in nation-building.
But I do find it surprising that you have a huge group of people, this contingency of people, and you know, Dave, when we grew up with the punk rock, you remember Rock Against Bush, you had No Upside, Rage Against the Machine, and the War Machine, and no oil, and they would team up with Code Pink, okay.
And Rock the Vote.
Rock the Vote, yeah.
Didn't even ruin it.
Right.
I remember Cameron Diaz was on Oprah.
She said, if you don't go vote, it's like you're saying rape should be legal.
I was like, hmm.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I'm going to make one hit movie.
Yes.
And that's it.
And then my career will be destroyed by HD.
She saw 4K coming down the pike.
She was like, nope!
I'm out!
They saw the mask and they're like, is she Rocky Dennis?
Yeah.
We lived through this, and we were at a point in this country where, despite him having an R next to his name, Donald Trump started no new major wars.
He made us a net exporter of petroleum for the first time, and of course that lowered prices and really kept a lid on inflation in a way that we've never seen in our lifetime.
And now we're right back to, okay look, same old, same old.
When people used to say Republicans and Democrats are the same, well I think in a lot of capacities they are.
In a lot of respects they certainly are.
Donald Trump was certainly different.
That's why you hated him.
That's why so many of you hated him because he came here like he was a stick of dynamite.
Yeah.
Right?
Donald Trump had to go fishing with dynamite.
And now we're back to, oh, maybe we do want to go to war.
Well, hold on a second.
Look, with Iraq, it was never a war for oil.
It was a war for contracts for oil.
I understand that.
No-bid contracts.
And that's also a problem.
And by the way, those lobbyists are still in government.
And also look at some of these executives from oil companies who might be accompanying this administration to visits in Venezuela.
So this idea that for some reason, because they have D's next to their name, they're not looking out for the interests of oil companies.
Well, that's obviously completely untrue.
These people are thrilled to have Joe Biden back in office.
But when you look at this and understand that, okay, Iraq was not a war for oil, especially if you look at what happened with Desert Storm, it was Al Qaeda, right?
They were a stronghold for... I'm not saying that they're the Taliban that Iraq attacked us, but militarily we said, okay, they were a stronghold for Al Qaeda, that mattered.
And they also said, meaning the administration, the Bush administration at the time, it also would serve a valuable purpose to liberate these people in Iraq from this dictator that is Saddam Hussein.
And many Democrats opposed it.
And by the way, I think it was a mistake.
I supported it at the time.
I think it was a mistake.
Why?
Because you see the way this works.
You just create another power vacuum and I just don't think we should be involved in foreign affairs unless we benefit from it.
Does it affect our national security?
If not, don't go.
Can we use it to benefit our national interests?
If not, don't go.
Those are really the only two litmus tests, in my opinion, that matter for war.
But the same people who were saying we shouldn't go into Iraq because we shouldn't try and spread democracy abroad, and look at all the innocent people who were killed, these are the same people now, the George Takeis of the world, saying, hey, we need to go to Ukraine to fight for their freedom.
First off, you don't believe in freedom because you were supporting lockdowns here at home.
Now you want Ukraine to be free?
Second, what do you think happens?
It's going to be exactly like you opposed Iraq but you support the United States going right now to Ukraine?
Do you have any idea how many more innocent people will be killed if the United States engages militarily in Ukraine?
When the biggest gun comes in, all the other weapons come out and aim it.
It's going to create more collateral damage, not to mention potentially could be the catalyst for World War III.
God only knows.
I'm just wondering where all the no war for oil people went to.
And it would seem to me that if you were against Iraq, if you were against nation building, and I'm against those things, That you would certainly be against any kind of engagement in the conflict with Russia and Ukraine right now, and you certainly would not want us to be dependent not only on oil and petroleum from Russia,
But if you care about human rights, you certainly wouldn't want to replace that with what?
Saudi Arabia.
Because you hated them only a year ago.
Only two years ago.
You certainly wouldn't want to replace it with what?
Venezuela.
With a dictator who seized power and starved his own people.
You're going to replace the international energy deficit.
Russia, whoever you want, all of these international supplies that we have for oil.
Foreign oil.
Let's use that term because it's simple.
Simple, I get it.
Reductive, it's a term people understand.
You're either going to replace it with foreign oil from a place that abuses its citizens and, by the way, is less reliable for us, or you're going to replace it with reserves and with energy that we have here in the United States that we can control.
It's going to be replaced.
Where are the anti-war people?
Where's no blood for oil?
I can't think of a more literal example of blood for oil than Venezuela.
The government benefits from all of the oil and resources while the people starve.
People in Venezuela quite literally die so that the government can get rich off the oil.
Where are they?
Where's Code Pink?
Where's No War for... Where's Tom Morello?
I just want a little consistency here.
Let me tell you what I don't think is inconsistent.
We don't go to war unless we take the oil.
Also, we should use our own oil and natural gas, period.
And if we don't have enough, then look to see what we need to supplement it.
That's just my point of view.
I don't know.
Is it me?
No, I think you're absolutely right.
I mean, we should not be in this situation, and that's why we were saying, be tough on Russia.
Be tough on China.
And Donald Trump was doing that.
Don't try to be the cool kid at the table in Europe, because what country right now is Putin afraid of in Europe?
Name me one.
None of them.
That is why he did this.
They're right there.
I couldn't say it with a straight face.
Have you seen their tables?
Not afraid of any of those guys.
There's a reason that you can't just try to link arms with every country and say, we are the world and this is all going to be fantastic and let's just go to this, you know, EU commission and everything's going to be fantastic.
No, you can't do that because these guys have never been able to stand up to aggression.
Ever!
No, you're absolutely right.
In the history of Europe, they have not been able to do it.
It took the United States both times coming over.
Yeah, Europe sucks.
Now, did we bring up that fact check from Reuters?
Hold on, did they send that to us?
So Reuters, because we claimed during one of our shows that the CDC changed their mask guidelines.
Yeah.
And by the way, you guys can comment below if you agree with us on the international energy policy, and you can smash like if you agree with it.
And if you don't hit like, that means that you want us to be dependent on oil from Venezuela.
13-year high right now.
Oh, on CNN right now.
Gas tops $4 a gallon for the first time since 2008.
So that must be across the country.
In Texas it's still relatively low.
On a channel that's telling you how great Biden is.
13-year high.
This is insane.
Is that guy in a Funhaus mirror that makes you look warped sideways?
See that?
Like horizontally?
It's actually the kid from The Toy with Richard Price.
You guys focus on him.
I'm focusing on the 46 cent increase, I think.
In a week!
Is that Alfred E. Newman on your left?
A 46 cent increase in a week in the average for the country.
But boy, they really want you.
Remember, keep in mind, and I did a whole segment on this back in 2009 with Barack Obama, just so people, you know, and I hate to use the term grifters, but you have a lot of people who just sort of have showed up recently and they're not really familiar with what has been going on in this country for a very long time.
They put on a MAGA hat.
I did a segment on Detroit.
2009.
And talked about there were effectively mandates where the government was trying to incentivize these domestic companies to make more gas-friendly cars because oil was so expensive.
Even though at that point GM had more gas- I think sort of the cutoff was if you got 30 miles to the gallon.
They had more than Honda or Toyota, I believe, combined.
But what happened is the government said, well, you better stop selling trucks.
And in California, you could only sell a certain amount of trucks or SUVs per lot.
Because they're saying gas prices are too high.
So there is an incentive for Democrats right now, obviously.
They want you driving smaller cars.
They want you dependent.
They want you dependent on public transportation.
In other words, gas prices going up and inflation out of control is not incongruent with what Democrats want for the country.
And why do you say Democrats?
Because Democrats, they've already told you, they want you to be more dependent on the government.
They want a more centralized system as far as our economy.
They want to be more like Europe.
They want to be more like Canada.
You can see what's happened.
The only thing that stops this government from being Australia, from being Canada, from being the UK, are the checks and balances that are enshrined into our Constitution.
Did you say you brought up the fact check there, Tokunawa?
Yeah, I think we got it.
So what happened is Reuters said social distancing and masks was released under Trump's term, not Biden.
And this was released because we talked about the CDC changing their mask guidelines.
Yeah.
We never once said that it happened exclusively under Biden.
My problem with the claim that we made was not Biden.
My problem was with the CDC changing their guidelines.
Of course we know it's happened many times.
Now here's what's interesting about that.
The left, and this is why I say I'm not a centrist and I don't believe in finding common ground with people who have no interest in finding common ground, but the left says, oh today people are just playing teams Republican-Democrat, right?
And the right is trying to divide everybody.
Hold on a second.
You took something, which was a fact, that the CDC changed their guidelines on masks And my problem was with the CDC.
And Reuters, one of the most trusted names in news, decided to turn it into something politically divisive and make it about Trump versus Biden.
It wasn't about Trump versus Biden.
It was about the CDC.
That's the only way people will pay attention to what they say.
I think it was Reuters.
Donald Trump in there.
I think it was Reuters who also fact-checked us like in 2014 or 2015.
Remember when there was that... When were we ever championing that the whole pandemic happened under Biden?
No, never.
We've never once said anything remotely close to what they're claiming.
Meanwhile they're like, it's yet to be determined if Ilhan Omar married her brother.
Just look at the marriage certificate!
And the flipper babies!
Anytime we do a stream that outpunts the coverage of the mainstream networks, we get fact-checked, and since they can't fact-check something we actually said, they make it up.
Yep.
Great, yeah.
Well, look, find me where I said that the mask guidance only changed under Joe Biden, and not where I was saying that the CDC is an institution that people are trusting less and less because their ambassador, Fauci, is a little shit.
All right, we're gonna go and play Name That Spoon here on Mug Club.
We have another 45 minutes.
Lidothcreditor.com slash tour will be in Tulsa, will be in Colorado Springs.