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Sept. 15, 2021 - Louder with Crowder

01:47:58

Tribute to Norm Macdonald, Last TRUE Hero in the War on Comedy & Free Speech | Louder with Crowder

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	Mmm.
	That was good!
	It's a little bit of a melancholy sip today.
	So look, we're going to touch on some news because obviously the Millie, the Blinken situation, pretty big from yesterday.
	Touch on that.
	But I don't know, this isn't necessarily something that people do for clicks.
	We wanted to really do a tribute here to Norm Macdonald, and let me explain to you why.
	He's been one of the single biggest influences On me professionally, on this show.
	I've talked about it at length.
	As a matter of fact, we'll show some clips of how many times I've talked about what my top two guests that I ever wanted to get were Norm Macdonald and Alice Cooper.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And so that's the real tragedy in all this is I'll never get to have him on the show.
	It's true.
	Truly.
	Yes.
	There are other ways not to come on the show, Norm.
	You know, that's the thing.
	You don't know who you hurt, Norm.
	You better watch out, Alice.
	He won't because his publicist doesn't like me.
	And not only that, but I think a lot of people now jump on this bandwagon.
	Look, keep in mind that Norm Macdonald was reviled not very long ago by the Me Too people, by the, I don't even know what hashtag we're talking about, but people now act as though they appreciated the brilliance that was Norm.
	People don't realize also what a devout man of faith that he was.
	He tried to avoid politics, but it was pretty easy to pick up on where he lined up.
	So we're going to be talking about that today quite a bit, and I want to paint a more full picture of who the man was, and hopefully there's some people out there who maybe don't know about him too much, haven't appreciated him as much as you should, and really he should go along certainly with the greats.
	I would put him in funniest man that ever lived.
	I've said that many times.
	I've said Norm Macdonald is the funniest man who's ever lived, and I've said that Nick DiPaolo is one of the funniest man's right now doing stand-up comedy, and I usually say it every time I bring on Nick DiPaolo, and he considers a comparison even in honor So I want to hear from you.
	Look, comment.
	Just comment down your favorite Norm joke.
	Pause this and comment your favorite Norm joke.
	This is actually an important experiment, okay?
	I want all of you to pause this because we are going to show you the best of Norm.
	Some of these clips are longer because Norm takes his time.
	He's a slow burn.
	But I want you to pause, leave a comment with your favorite Norm joke before you watch the rest of this show.
	But to lead this off, I just want to show you, this must be from somewhere in the 90s, Norm Macdonald and Dennis Miller.
	Keep in mind, this was before AM radio Dennis Miller, before Dennis Miller even knew that he was more right-leaning and Norm Macdonald had not been open about anything politically.
	But again, this is why comedy is so interesting.
	It's such a window into people sometimes.
	And it doesn't mean that all of it is real.
	Sometimes it's just jokes.
	Just like Alice Cooper lyrics.
	It doesn't mean that's actually who he is.
	These are just jokes.
	But sometimes you can see that little shimmer of, oh, that's what he thinks.
	Not to mention, this is a joke that may immediately get us banned from YouTube, which again proves my point.
	But here he is on Dennis Miller, saying something you could never say today on air, even on HBO, talking about gay pride.
	Have you ever done anything in your long and storied career that you consider specifically to be in bad taste?
	As you look back on it.
	Maybe at the time you thought it was a good play, but you look back on it and you think that was in bad taste.
	Well sometimes, like in stand-up, I'll do jokes that are, that I, like one time I was doing this thing in San Francisco and they were all gay people in the audience, they told me, so I figured I'll do it.
	In San Francisco?
	No!
	So I figured I'd do stuff about gay people so that they could relate to me.
	Yeah, it's warm up!
	They love that!
	And so I was talking about, because I went to this gay pride parade, and I saw in it there were these old men and old ladies, like, with these signs that said, we are proud of our gay son.
	You know, and so I was saying, that's an odd thing to be proud of, you know, because it's not an achievement, you know, it's not like something you work all your life to be gay or anything like that.
	And I just wondered, I just, I had a hard time believing that these 50, 60 year old men are actually bragging, you know, at work like they're, hey, Bill, you know, my kid, oh my God, we're proud of him, Johnny.
	He graduated from Harvard, you know.
	First in his class, you know what I mean?
	And now he's articling over at a law firm and, oh yeah, he loves c**k!
	This kid!
	He can't get enough c**k in his mouth, his ass, his kids all over the place!
	I got a picture of the boy here sucking another man's c**k!
	To watch the maturation of you as an artist to realize it took you nine and a half minutes to get around to the second cock stop.
	It's beautiful to see you comfortable in your own skin, Marmy.
	All right.
	That's quintessential Dennis Miller.
	I'm surprised you didn't throw in some more references.
	That's really nice to you coming into your own skin, almost like IMAX directors back when they were doing Hidden Earth Part 4, where they had to replace it with little Duodenum over there from Czechoslovakia.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	He's a cool cat.
	I like the cut of his jaw.
	Shut up.
	Let's have Shurtu if we need to bring up those clips, and you can bring us down a little bit, because Norm is the highlight here.
	And I'll show you my favorite Norm joke in a little bit.
	What's beautiful about Norm Light is my favorite Norm joke ever.
	It's very, very short.
	Okay.
	So he would have short rapid-fire punchlines and then some long ones.
	Sorry, anyways, before we get into anything, Gerald A., how are you, sir?
	I am better than you.
	I'm actually feeling great.
	Well, you sound better.
	I'll tell you that in a second.
	I don't have the COVID, by the way.
	Let me just show this to everyone.
	I'll pass this around.
	My wife tested positive.
	Steven, that's a pregnancy test.
	Yeah, let's pass around your stick.
	It looks like you are pregnant.
	Well, I was wondering why I didn't get that, period.
	Uh-oh.
	You're late.
	Turns out I'm a man!
	Let's see if you're choice now.
	Now let's, uh, quarterback Garrett, how are you?
	I'm doing good.
	I mean, except for... Doing well, but we'll allow it because of the quarterback.
	Losing Norm, man.
	That was rough yesterday.
	I saw that and I was like... It was the first time I've ever actually cried at a celebrity death.
	You got pretty close.
	I've ever had a girl in the 8th grade who cried when Jeff Gordon died and she didn't even wash NASCAR.
	Not Jeff Gordon!
	Who was the guy that got NASCAR done?
	Dale Earnhardt.
	Maybe that's it.
	I don't know.
	No, it was some driver who died.
	It's 100% Dale Earnhardt.
	Whoever it is, not as good as Norm.
	Earnhardt died at Daytona.
	Yeah, I got a lot of plates at home.
	I'll bring them in.
	I'll show you.
	Let me know.
	I don't know, but whoever died when I was in junior high, and I always think it's weird, but again, because Norm has been something that means so much, not only to me personally, but also to people out there.
	He was one of the last vanguards of comedy.
	And he was one of the last vanguards of comedy who had respect from his comedic peers.
	And so it carried some weight.
	And then, of course, they tried to character assassinate Norm because you can't have someone like that.
	So don't let people today jump on the bandwagon.
	When they were trying to destroy everything that Norm helped build up.
	And we'll sort of paint a portrait here that I think has been overlooked.
	And Dave Landau is here.
	How are you?
	Ahoy!
	I'm good.
	And Norm's... Yeah, I'm still on that.
	Norm is... We can joke about Norm dying.
	That's how he would want it.
	He would.
	We have to laugh a little bit because that's what he was all about.
	Yeah, it was exposing the darkness, the light.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	It sucks.
	What's so amazing about him is everybody yesterday on Twitter was fighting as usual.
	Just armchair whatever and then norm died and it just took over
	Right.
	Yeah, right is one of those things where even if people may have gone against him, whatever it was
	It was just nice to see a minute of unity. Yeah off of a guy. I think that's true
	And then most of us are a legend. Yes, then he was off the trending list like within five hours and you're sick
	Oh Really wouldn't I don't know when Aaliyah is trending and
	people mourn her I don't know how many years after her death whereas Aaliyah
	died because 20 years without her Samsonite luggage Yep.
	Look it up!
	It happened.
	I think that was Lisa Lopez, wasn't it?
	What?
	The left eye Lopez?
	No, no.
	Aaliyah was trending again because she died.
	She died a long time ago.
	We were like, oh Aaliyah!
	I'm like, I know!
	We didn't get Queen of the Damned 2!
	Wait, I thought Lisa... How did Left Eye die?
	Yeah, I forgot about that.
	Plane crash.
	Was it a plane crash?
	Her name is Left Eye?
	Yeah.
	Is she a pirate?
	TLC?
	Come on.
	Well, she was missing an eye.
	Left Eye!
	She was missing an eye?
	You don't remember the eye patch one from the TLC video?
	No!
	In the overalls?
	No.
	Come on, the most doable.
	I thought it was a fashion thing.
	House Party 3.
	Like Nelly with the Band-Aid.
	Which I'm pretty sure Nelly had the Band-Aid because he had a bad zit and needed to cover it up temporarily, but then was like, nah, it's my thing, I'm gonna wear a Band-Aid.
	That's gay!
	And he was like, nah man, it's a fashion thing.
	And then they lift it up and they see like a little white head like, oh damn!
	Put that back on!
	I believe Left Eye was either married to or dating a football player and she burned his house down too.
	Oh, well that's good.
	Another one lost too soon.
	I was wrong, it was a Jeep accident.
	That's what I thought it was.
	Alright, let's stop talking about other people.
	Let's stop talking about other people who don't matter.
	So I tested negative here for COVID.
	I want to be very clear.
	I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection.
	I was in a room with four people yesterday who all had COVID and a fan blowing particles in my face.
	My wife tested positive for COVID two days after I was feeling the symptoms.
	So I got the symptoms of a sinus infection.
	She really wasn't having them.
	She just tested just because she was worried that she'd been near me.
	And I will tell you, she's post-pregnancy, so we didn't do all the stuff, but we were doing some stuff.
	The marriage bed is undefiled, so I don't know how I didn't get anything.
	You guys can all see this is my third negative test.
	What's your blood type?
	Does he think that has anything to do with it?
	No idea, but I did hear on CNN this morning, they were talking about how your T cell count may be what confers some people natural immunity.
	And there is some concern with the vaccine and how it may interact with T cells.
	They talked about this on CNN.
	I can't confirm anything.
	So here's what I will say.
	I woke up this morning.
	Feeling way worse.
	Yeah.
	When I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire.
	And I thought, oh no.
	This is what it is.
	But don't worry, it's okay.
	Turns out what happened was I had ordered Indian food.
	I had ordered the lamb vindaloo up to spice level 10.
	Oh.
	And I had been burping in my sleep.
	And so it burned my throat.
	And only when I farted and it burned my butthole did I realize what was going on.
	And then I was completely safe.
	Saved by a fart.
	True story. I woke up and was like, ahhh, ahh, and I was like,
	Oh! I forgot about the vindaloo!
	It's the curry.
	Wow, what a terrible night for your wife.
	No, no, no, I'm not sleeping there because right now I must have been in the same bed that COVID.
	Well, originally I was sent away.
	It's defiled, that marital bed.
	Defiled by COVID.
	I was sent away, but then she tested positive.
	And I'm like, well, what the hell am I away for?
	Why don't I get to sleep in my bed?
	Everyone is positive.
	So, all right.
	We're going to go back to Norm here in a little bit, but first we're going to talk about the Gavin Newsom thing really quickly, and the Millie Blankens situation.
	I have some strong thoughts on it, and then I want to get to honoring Norm as he deserved to be honored.
	Well, that would probably be Norm.
	They say the marriage bed isn't defiled, but You know, I've done my best there.
	I don't know, now that they have gay marriage, have you seen what they do in hotels?
	I don't know, it seems like Jesus would be up there saying, oh, that's mighty defiling.
	Except for you guys.
	Okay, so it appears that friend of the show Larry Elder is not going to replace, you know, Gavin Newsom as governor.
	I was surprised he got, I was surprised he got 40, was it 46 percent of the vote?
	Yeah, pretty high actually.
	And Caitlyn Jenner got one.
	Well, that makes sense.
	Wow, that's right.
	Continual hit-and-run former male track athlete now menstruating female Caitlyn Jenner shocked voters by only receiving one I think she went right into menopause.
	That's what those hot flashes are.
	Menopause.
	I forgot she was even running.
	Yeah, me too.
	She was running.
	It was a joke for a little while.
	Then she's like, ah, I'm on the ballot, I might as well stay there.
	Good try.
	Running from biology, you know?
	Don't catch me there.
	Run over here.
	She's ran from it.
	Some people are trying to say that Larry Elder is gonna... Here's a clip.
	So we have lost a battle, but we are absolutely going to win the war.
	Call the violence!
	Oh, I heard it.
	Bay-based kids.
	Is this the wrong clip?
	Yeah.
	And here's Gavin spinning, you know, everything that is ruining the United States.
	I should say, maybe not ruining everything in the United States of America, but certainly California, a once-wonderful state, as a victory.
	I want to focus on what we said yes to as a state.
	We said yes to science.
	Such a good-looking guy.
	We said yes to vaccines.
	We said yes to ending this pandemic.
	Evil.
	We said yes to people's right to vote without fear of fake fraud or voter suppression.
	So let me be clear about what that means.
	We said yes to vaccines.
	What does that mean?
	We said yes to vaccines, talking about mandates, not constitutional.
	We said yes to diversity.
	We said yes to inclusion.
	So let me be clear about what that means.
	We said yes to vaccines.
	What does that mean?
	We said yes to forcing people to be vaccinated.
	We said yes to women's constitutional rights.
	What does that mean?
	We said yes to the right to women to end the life of another human being with separate DNA, with separate heartbeat, with separate toes, fingers, sexual reproductive organs.
	We said yes to all those things.
	And by the way, I'm pandering about all of it.
	We said yes to diversity, which means we said yes to record number of illegal immigrants crossing the border, committing crimes, not being part of the vaccine mandates, by the way.
	Though they are required to actually take doses of ivermectin to make sure they don't have parasitic worms.
	We said yes to driving down American wages.
	We said yes to effectively creating a new slave labor class here in California.
	And we said yes to sending business after business to Texas, including the one that innovated electric environmentally friendly cars and Tesla.
	We don't know how that one got away from us, but I won.
	Oops.
	And we said no to a black white supremacist.
	Yes.
	The first of its kind, really.
	He's the black face of white supremacy.
	He's the reverse Mickey Mouse.
	They also said yes to more fires, less water, power that's really not able to be kept on most of the time.
	And yes to stupidity.
	You hate your cities that you live in and yet you voted for a Democrat again.
	You get what you deserve, California.
	I'm sorry.
	And yes to Tom Selleck's avocado farm.
	Takes so much water!
	So it looks like not all your votes are in this.
	The gap is 34 to 64.
	Yeah, still more to be counted.
	Seems tough to close for Elder to finish.
	Last night it was like 46.
	I think there were two things actually.
	So I think you're right on the 46.
	One was, do you want to recall him or not?
	You actually had to vote for that on this ballot.
	That was the gap, right?
	And then if you do, who do you want to replace him?
	And it would be...
	Well, see, this is what that tells you.
	It tells you that, just like, who was it who talked about this?
	It might have been Larry Elder himself.
	When Joe Biden came in, when Elizabeth Warren came in, none of them said that Newsom did a good job for California.
	None of them said that his policies have been effective.
	They said, you know, he trusted the science.
	So when people are polled on, should we recall Gavin Newsom?
	In California, mind you, 46% say yes.
	So that tells you that he's done a bad job, that the policies aren't there.
	Then, when they're forced to decide between Gavin Newsom and Larry Elder, and the media attack machine can do their job of actually convincing Californians that Larry Elder is a white supremacist, He gets less of the votes.
	In other words, there is no policy.
	There is no framework for the left to stand on.
	Gavin Newsom knew it, and so what did they have to do?
	Had to be racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia.
	And that works in California.
	I think it's going to work less and less across the country, so there's a silver lining there.
	46% said, Gavin Newsom, you suck.
	And then a significant portion said, Uh, you say that the black guys are white supremacists?
	Well, this is California.
	I buy it!
	It's more proof of America being divided in half.
	I don't think it's more proof of America being... I think it's more proof that the left exclusively, exclusively... This is not a right-wing thing.
	Quotes for white guys pretending to be virtuous?
	Yes, that too!
	Because that's what happened with Biden.
	But they exclusively campaign on identity politics, racism, because that's all they have.
	What is Biden going to... Let's say elections were held right now.
	What is Biden going to campaign on?
	Successful economy?
	Americans being safer?
	No.
	Right.
	Better foreign policy?
	Putting in a catheter?
	Right.
	COVID's gone, right?
	No.
	Nope.
	COVID's not gone, so we're just going to force you to get mandates.
	Unity?
	Do we think that's a... In other words, even the sort of intangibles that he's going to unify the country, what could Biden campaign on?
	So I guarantee you what he will campaign on in 2024 Whoever it is, it doesn't matter.
	If it's Ted Cruz, if it's Ron DeSantis, if it's Donald Trump, we'll be racist, sexist, homophobic.
	For crying out loud, they tried to say that Larry Elder was worse than Gavin Newsom's wife when Rose McGowan, I was just listening to this somewhere in the media, Rose McGowan said, you know, Gavin Newsom's wife and their law firm tried to offer me hush money.
	And I don't know if it's true or not, but whatever happened to hashtag believeallwomen?
	The point is... They didn't even cover it.
	Including Rose McGowan.
	Rose McGowan's like the one.
	Right.
	They didn't even cover it, but here's what's important about that.
	They tried to say, well, really, if you think that Gavin Newsom is better for women than compared to, and heard them on the radio play a clip of Larry Elder saying, well, you know, at least Donald Trump has done more for fat, overweight women getting them off the couch with these marches than any Michelle Obama fitness initiative.
	So you're comparing a joke about fat people to rape?
	Wow.
	This is where we are.
	They cannot win on policy.
	They try and tell you, look, we're more popular on policy because most Americans consider themselves pro-choice, but then when you get down, hold on a second, heartbeat, oh yeah, that makes sense, hold on a second, where should abortion be allowed?
	It's nowhere near aligned with the DNC platform.
	Hey, are you pro-immigration?
	Sure!
	Uh, then we got knuckled down.
	Okay, are you pro-sanctuary city?
	Well, no, of course not.
	Should we be able to deport people here who are here illegally and are committing crimes?
	Well, of course we should be able to.
	Should people at the border be forced to pay, uh, forced to send the guests, but be forced to pay taxes?
	Oh, of course they should.
	So, they use buzzwords both to try and fool their base into voting for them.
	We're pro-choice, we're pro-diversity, and then they change language to try and make you hate the people Who they're running against.
	They're racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic.
	I don't know.
	I think the guy who's more racist is the person who, first off, accuses the black guy of being a white supremacist and accuses him of not being black enough and who has supporters who dress up as gorillas and egg the black candidate.
	I think at the very least you can make more of an argument that that's racist.
	I think that's a reasonable position.
	By the way, they always say that we are anti-immigrant, too.
	It's like, no, it's just anti-illegal immigration.
	You're trying to smear us with this stuff, guys.
	You have nothing to run on.
	Vote for Gavin is a vote for diversity, I say.
	My house has never been cleaner.
	They're really good.
	I don't even know what that means.
	Because I hire illegals to clean my house.
	Careful.
	You say that on this show, you will be audited.
	If you're a Democrat, it's fine.
	I'm already being audited.
	The second I got this show, I got audited.
	Head over to the shop, support the fight, and buy some cool threads.
	and they're going through my records. I'm a comic, I don't have anything to hide.
	What are you saying? It's like, yeah, go for it.
	Um, hey, by the way, if you want to support the show, because we're not making anything
	on YouTube, CrotterShop.com. Head over to the shop, support the fight,
	and buy some cool threads. It's the Tits Pajamas.
	CrotterShop.com. Oh, I didn't know we had a little stinger.
	I just thought it was pretty good.
	Yeah, well this is my favorite shirt.
	Yeah, yeah, it's a fun one.
	You can only get there at Crowder's Shop.
	Hit the notification bell if you're watching, because subscriptions don't really work, and...
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	Eastern.
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	Just watch it.
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	Comment.
	We'll be taking your chat later on Mug Club.
	We are going to do an entire segment, which we couldn't do on YouTube because it's sexist, about all of our childhood crushes.
	When we first realized that we were filthy straight men.
	Also...
	Also Angel Eyes over here who's helping to run the sound.
	She's going to include her male crush where she realized she was a filthy cis-scum woman.
	Oh, Kirk Cameron?
	I think she's a little, she's a little tall.
	Cody?
	She's 5'3".
	So, vaccine, more vaccine fascism is what's going on right now.
	And I mean this, fascism, people throw around the term fascism, like what about forcing someone to get a vaccine?
	And this is, this is something when I was there talking with people yesterday, when COVID tests all this stuff, and no one disagreed.
	And you had pro-vaccine, you had pro-vaccine people, you had, I will say anecdotally, most people that had been vaccinated.
	Tested positive.
	Certainly a percentage of them.
	We know this across the country.
	This is no longer a conspiracy.
	We've acknowledged it.
	But no one disagreed with the fact that it is absolutely insane, and like you were talking about, divisive, to label any Americans who say COVID is real, it's a real virus, and it affects certain people really negatively.
	For example, far more lethal for old people than the standard flu.
	We won't get into numbers with young people and infants, but it's a real virus, and it affects certain demographics very negatively, and that needs to be taken seriously.
	Precautions need to be taken to protect those people who are most at risk.
	Also, not a reason to shut down the economy, destroy it for generations to come, and certainly not a reason to effectively forcefully evaporate people's individual freedoms to take a vaccine or not.
	And anyone who says, hey, Vaccine probably safe, but we don't have any long-term studies, and if you say that you're lying because you couldn't possibly, doesn't make them an anti-vaxxer.
	It is divisive to consider someone who maintains all those points of view.
	As an anti-voxer.
	And every single person there, who I was there with yesterday, getting my test, the whole clinic, all this, agreed.
	They said, yeah, yeah, this is really bad.
	I can't believe it.
	Yeah, typically, this is the medical, this is the science position, is to wait for long-term data.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	We don't tend to rush things out.
	Well, my wife went and got the monoclonal antibodies.
	It says on there, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, that the risks may outweigh the rewards, and so you probably should talk with your doctor, but in the absence of speaking with your doctor, not do it.
	It doesn't say that with the vaccine!
	No, no.
	If you're not breastfeeding, can you read the sign?
	That's not even... I get it.
	Let's not just pull me off with the punchline here.
	I'm sorry.
	No, it's okay.
	This is important right now.
	We're talking about the vaccines.
	My wife was there.
	My wife is breastfeeding.
	So this matters.
	My wife has to know, do I need to stop breastfeeding?
	Yeah.
	My wife is doing it.
	What happens if I take the antibodies?
	What happens if I take any treatment?
	Same thing with the vaccine.
	These are questions that need to be fucking asked.
	And they've always been asked if someone is pregnant or breastfeeding.
	The standard of proof is you need to prove beyond any doubt.
	Not even reasonable doubt.
	Beyond any doubt whatsoever that this will not cause harm to a pregnant or breastfeeding woman, and they still apply that to monoclonal antibodies, which, by the way, if you go in and I highly recommend it, if you do test positive, has the shortest list of side effects I have ever seen from any medication in my life, and that includes my daily Zyrtec!
	One of them was a smile.
	But all of a sudden, with a vaccine, it's out the window.
	Yeah.
	No, that pisses me off, because my wife doesn't even get an exemption with work for being somebody who was breastfeeding at the time, and then we find out she's pregnant, and the work's like, hey, sorry.
	The work literally responded.
	I'm not going to say who.
	Literally responded.
	Prove to us that it will hurt you.
	What?
	Show us the study that tells us that this is a problem for pregnant or nursing women.
	Are you insane?
	Well, they don't have the study, so how are you going to prove it?
	One of the nurses came up and said, oh, you're pregnant and you have COVID?
	You should get the vaccine right now, you know, it'll protect you.
	And then a doctor said, wait, wait, wait, that nurse said that the vaccine was treatment?
	So I have to worry about my wife being healthy because of a nurse with an opinion.
	Anyway, all right, so this is the thing Fauci now said that there may be vaccines for, so I use the term fascism.
	Actually, when you're talking about ultimately checkpoints for people in the United States, not even traveling internationally, on roads, mandates for interstate travel.
	Here's Geppetto himself.
	This is very common practice now in Europe.
	I've just been traveling all over Europe.
	You can't get on a plane without having some kind of proof that you're negative.
	It seems to me crazy that a year and a half into this, you can still, I can still get on a plane to Boston or California and nobody's going to check me.
	Do you think that needs to change?
	Well, that's under consideration, certainly.
	I mean, I have been asked that question and it actually got some play in the press when I made the answer.
	I think that if, in fact, it is seriously considered, it's on the table.
	We're not there yet.
	In fact, if you look at the six-point program that the president came out with a couple of days What we were talking about with travel was doubling the
	fines of people who in fact are traveling and don't get tested.
	And I believe that the idea about requiring vaccination for travel is something that is
	on the table for discussion.
	It has not been decided yet.
	Answer a question once in your life.
	Yeah, dude.
	Every single answer he's ever given is that, where it's like, I don't know.
	Well, I actually did answer this question.
	But I was in the press.
	He did answer this question not long ago, it's a good point, over Lacey, that there would not be any vaccine mandates.
	Oh, good.
	So now he's saying we can answer this again.
	We'll begin to the Norm tribute, but it would be, oh, okay, so now, you know, Dr. Anthony Fauci there, you know, the only scientist left.
	You know, he says that, uh, we're gonna have interstate travel.
	And so the advice to people out there, uh, particularly to people advocating for these, uh, vaccines and mandates, uh, is, uh, what we need you to do is go south on the 405 and take an exit as you go east on the 101.
	And then you're going to take an exit at North Sepulveda Boulevard, pull up to the stop sign, roll it.
	Be sure to always roll the stop sign, right?
	Of course, you don't wanna, you wanna stop, you don't wanna, uh, go.
	Then, uh, continue down toward, uh, Manhattan Beach and go fuck yourself.
	How about that?
	And you're wondering where this is going, and then, oh, I see, Norm.
	Yeah, thank you.
	Appreciate that.
	That's unbelievable that we're taking advice from somebody who says, Europe has it right, by the way, and I can't just travel from place to place.
	I have to show proof of vaccination.
	He's like, yeah, I think that sounds about right.
	No, this is a completely different country.
	What about the Europe that didn't lock down and do any of that stuff?
	We have a different understanding of how this is supposed to go.
	No, they did in Europe.
	You mean places like Sweden.
	Yeah, it's odd when a guy who thinks AIDS was airborne is off about something.
	I'm trying.
	I hate them so much.
	Honestly, I hope they do it.
	Listen.
	I hope.
	We don't have all... This is true.
	We've talked about Fauci and AIDS.
	You can... You know what?
	We'll include it in the description.
	All the sources we have are available.
	Also, the Norm Clip's available.
	LotOfCredit.com, link in the description.
	But let's include a link, too, for people who haven't seen our segment on Fauci and AIDS.
	This is where Oprah got that one in five heterosexual couples would get AIDS, and that it was airborne, that a kid could get AIDS in the household if the father had AIDS.
	This is Dr. Fauci, who hasn't seen a patient in half a millennium.
	Just to be clear, the science we don't know yet, but with AIDS, we don't have long-term studies, but the penis can act as an AIDS nebulizer.
	You can get it from gay sex, you can get it from sharing needles, you can get it from a child's cough.
	Yeah, you can get it from a child's puff.
	For example, if he reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch with his hand, this is why you're poor.
	This is why you have balls, Jimmy.
	If he reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and then the mother reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, then, if she's pregnant, the boy will have flippers.
	And then the box of life is empty, just like their box of life.
	And kicks will be kicks the bucket.
	You're all gonna die!
	All of you.
	Penis nebulized.
	As you turn in tricks, let's do a cereal bit.
	We don't even need to get into the next... I don't even want to talk about one of the vaccine mandates.
	Look, here's the deal.
	If you don't understand what that means, just like people say, oh, tax the rich more.
	That means take it at gunpoint.
	What this means is checkpoints.
	You want checkpoints here in America to travel from Oklahoma to Texas?
	That's the only way to enforce this.
	Remember they said vaccine passports will not happen?
	How do you enforce vaccine mandates?
	Of course you have to have passports, vaccine passports, to go into anywhere.
	How do you enforce interstate travel?
	You have to have checkpoints.
	There's no other way to.
	Well, and to remind you, we did have checkpoints.
	That's the scary part.
	Last year, when I was living in New York, they would have soldiers standing outside waiting, and they couldn't have looked more bored and annoyed with it.
	But to make you fill out something that said you would wait two weeks, blah, blah, blah, that would always happen.
	That was already bad enough.
	In New York?
	In New York, yes.
	Yes, and we need to avoid it happening anywhere that's not New York.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, they want to roll that out to a neighborhood near you.
	I am so glad that New York is becoming Escape from New York.
	Yes.
	And L.A.
	is becoming Escape from L.A.
	It deserves it.
	It does.
	Well, I mean, de Blasio's possibly the worst mayor, in my opinion, ever.
	That's saying something.
	Worse than Kilpatrick.
	Worse than Coleman Young.
	What?
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Coleman Young never danced in an empty Times Square with his wife.
	That's the creepiest horror movie thing I have ever seen.
	It's almost like the Joker dancing into the art gallery.
	Yeah, he's just playing Prince on a boombox.
	Who compares that?
	They're like, what do you think is better, Jack Nicholson or Heath Ledger?
	It's like, oh, the guy who dances with a boombox, the prince, or the really good actor?
	Good lord.
	We'll figure it out.
	It's not even comparable.
	Ah, you're forgetting the 32nd to Mars singer.
	That's true.
	Oh, God.
	He really wants to come back and play him again.
	Yeah, I know.
	Please, no.
	Hopefully there's justice in this world.
	So let's go to what's going on here.
	Do we have the clip first from Romney questioning Blinken?
	That's clip F2?
	Yep.
	Okay, so look.
	Before we get to Millie, there was a Blinken questioning here yesterday.
	Yeah.
	And everyone is talking about Millie, and I want to talk about that in a second, and I want to hear where you guys line up.
	And then the rest of the show is going to be a tribute to Norman.
	I do, please.
	Not please.
	Look, you should absolutely do it.
	You don't know Norm.
	Most people don't.
	He wasn't just funny.
	He was the funniest, but there's a lot more to him, and most people haven't read his book.
	I know that because I know the sales of his book.
	You should read his book.
	After this show, nothing would make me happier than you watching Norm clips all day.
	And everyone else is going to show you the clip of the moth joke.
	From norm which is a great joke that he told on Conan it was actually I think about behind steinjoker
	Bob I seen a norm were very good friends They would lift jokes from each other all the time just to
	be really clear Everyone's going to show you the Joe up the show with what's-her-name
	from mom 90210 about carrot top They're going to show you the SP awards, and these are
	great great bits But there's a the bits that YouTube hides from you
	For example, I'm going to talk about The View.
	It could not be found on YouTube.
	It's true.
	For six years.
	What?
	Yeah.
	So the stuff that you are not allowed to find when you search for Norm is what we've tried to pull out from the archives for you at first.
	Also, I just want to say real quick, listen to his book on Audible is what I recommend because it is hilarious.
	Yeah, I need to listen to it.
	It's the best way to listen to it.
	Where he always talks about wild turkey, why don't we?
	Which he doesn't drink.
	It's like a Hunter S. Thompson book.
	It's great.
	Yeah, it is the funniest book.
	It's completely made up.
	That's what's great.
	It's brilliant.
	And he said some of it isn't.
	He's like, some of it isn't, but I knew that I could only avoid legal liability if I just said it all was.
	Yeah.
	So before we get to the Millie thing, I think that what sets the stage here is, and I know, Mitt Romney, you know what to do.
	Hit it.
	Hit it.
	Do you have the audio?
	Come on, you've got to have it, right?
	Mitt Romney.
	How do we feel about Mitt Romney?
	Romney, he sucks!
	There we go.
	But, he did grill Blinken with some questioning yesterday.
	And I think this is important because it'll bring us into the Millie situation.
	Let's roll that clip of Romney and Blinken.
	How many of them approximately, you said we don't know the exact number, but how many legal permanent residents are we convinced are still in Afghanistan?
	We don't have an exact number, but a round number?
	In the thousands.
	Pardon?
	In the thousands.
	So this is important.
	This is important because... What?
	And someone said you need to stop saying this is important, and that's true.
	But that's because there's a lot of foolishness that goes on in this show, and then I feel the need to delineate.
	Look, I need to separate penis nebulizer from... Right, yeah, there we go.
	It's delineation.
	Remember, Joe Biden said, no one will be left behind.
	None.
	Right.
	None will be left behind, man.
	It's America.
	Then I told you on this show, and you can go back, I believe it was last week, might
	have been a little bit before that, where I said, look, now that we've left Afghanistan,
	and there are at this point, we thought hundreds, but now we know thousands, instead of Americans,
	and of course, serious allies.
	I'm not talking about everyone in Afghanistan who's not from Taliban.
	I'm talking about every ally who actually helped us, but specifically Americans, because
	Americans first.
	The message will be from Joe Biden, anyone who wanted to come home, yeah, could come
	home.
	Now admitting, Blinken, on the stand, again, when there are penalties for lying, that's
	not true.
	There are thousands.
	He went on to say when you include our allies, Romney said tens of thousands.
	He said, I don't know, but it would be a substantial number.
	So there are thousands.
	Thousands of Americans and thousands of people who helped us fight off the Taliban, not to mention how many dogs who did want to come home, who attempted to come home, for months, and were blocked at the airport, who are stranded in Afghanistan, and that should give you a pit in your stomach, and it should also scare you that me, this guy, called it exactly.
	I told you they were going to say any American who wants to come home.
	It's not true, and now they admitted it's not true.
	That's insane.
	I had not heard that.
	I heard the hundreds, right?
	After they kind of stopped doing any of the airlifts, they gave the base back over.
	They said, oh yeah, there may be hundreds there.
	They never have an exact number, and I understand that that's hard to get.
	Said at least thousands.
	But at least that so he was specifically talking about American citizens said in Afghanistan because he said legal
	permanent residents Yeah, assuming men of the United States right that we're
	just in Afghanistan. We bring in all We don't just be every Taliban member in a sailor suit
	trying to get on the plane well, he's only bringing in a lot of food. I love cheeseburgers and pizza
	and hot dogs.
	Becky Boo, what's a dish?
	Oh, can you see?
	I'd like to get on a plane.
	Very misreferenced, by the way.
	Got it.
	Don't ruin it, Jim.
	Don't you fall back into old habits.
	Just saying.
	Eb Lincoln.
	I love that you said sailor suit when it's a landlocked country that doesn't have a navy.
	Well, that's the giveaway.
	That's how you know if it's actually a child or if it's a bearded terrorist disguised as a child.
	Look by the handkerchief.
	They have Halloween Afghanistan.
	Yes, they do.
	Spirit Halloween.
	And the good thing is if you're a woman in Afghanistan, it's Halloween Afghanistan.
	Every day!
	It's true.
	But you can only dress as one thing.
	Yeah, one costume.
	Or, if you technically do, it is multi-use as the Kim Kardashian Met Gala.
	That's true, that's true.
	This is like the Steve Jobs lettuce loading.
	But just put two Christmas hams down your back and... Oh yeah.
	Kim Kardashian Met Gala!
	She made sex tape!
	Stone her!
	Look at her ass.
	Her ass is the laziest.
	So that's what happened with Blinken yesterday.
	That sets the stage for now Millie.
	This is trending, and I want to show you a clip from CNN.
	I want to talk about what's going on with Millie, and then I'm going to present to you, and I want you to hold me to what I'm about to say today, just like I wanted you to hold me to the fact that Biden was saying any Americans who want to come home got home, and I said it was a lie.
	Look, come back, mock me if I'm wrong about this today, mercilessly.
	I'm going to call it.
	So, Millie, and I'm not saying, because everyone always comes back afterwards and says, I called it today.
	I'll call it.
	I will tell you exactly when and what I'm going to call.
	I want you to come back and tell me if I am wrong, and I will make a call that I can be, on which I can verifiably be proven wrong.
	Hold me to it.
	So, CNN reported on an upcoming book written by Washington Post reporter Robert Costa, and there was someone else who helped with it.
	The book alleges that General Milley instructed the military, I want to make sure I get this right, not to obey orders on military strikes without his approval following January 6th.
	The book also alleges that Milley actually called, spoke, With top representatives in China.
	I don't know if we know exactly, was it supposed to be the Chinese?
	I don't know exactly who it was, but it was higher-ups.
	Because that's been misreported a little bit.
	But certainly people in the highest levels of government, if not the top, saying, hey, we're friends.
	If Donald Trump is going rogue and is going to try and, you know, if he might try and attack you guys, I'm going to give you a heads up.
	Cool.
	treason. Yes, exactly. Let's show them talk about it on CNN because
	apparently there may be, the reason this is in a book and it's a big big deal is
	I haven't seen the hard evidence. Donald Trump himself said that he didn't think
	it was true when he was asked in an interview but if so it's treason. CNN
	seems to think it's true.
	So I'm going to call it.
	If they seem to think they have access to some tapes, they have access to some evidence, but they know it's damning, so they don't want you to have it.
	And only if someone does their due diligence and investigates what's going on at CNN and these media companies will we ever know the truth.
	They have something.
	We don't.
	Calling it right now.
	Here's them talking about it.
	He believes Trump, to your point, is unstable, unpredictable, and Woodward and Costa write, Milley believes that Trump is in serious mental decline.
	He also has been talking back-channel to the Chinese.
	He is aware from intelligence that the Chinese are on edge because of January 6th.
	It's all because of Trump's behavior.
	So he's trying to reassure them behind the scenes.
	Has the same concerns that Millie does.
	The phone call is dramatic.
	It is blunt.
	And Pelosi wants Millie to reassure her that the nuclear weapons are safe.
	And this is the exchange.
	Pelosi.
	Who knows what he might do.
	He's crazy.
	You know he's crazy.
	He's been crazy for a long time.
	So don't say you don't know what his state of mind is.
	He's crazy.
	And what he did yesterday, meaning actually two days ago, January 6th, is further evidence of his craziness.
	General Milley says, Madam Speaker, I agree with you on everything.
	By the way, have you noticed that every single picture and video of General Milley looks like the ghost of General Milley?
	Yes.
	Looks like if General Milley came through a wall on Frighteners.
	Oh yeah, it really does.
	He's definitely got that white and black bag.
	Also, there's no picture of Nancy Pelosi where she doesn't just look like an old haggard dog.
	Yeah, well because they're trying to say that Pelosi was calling Trump crazy, and Pelosi will look crazy if you show any picture of Pelosi at all.
	She says it four times.
	He's crazy!
	He's crazy, right?
	He's crazy!
	I can't hear you, Madam Speaker!
	That's just my blow dryer!
	The salon ladies turned it up, hold on!
	Hold on, I have to go shit in the street!
	Gotta keep up with tradition, San Francisco!
	My driveway is covered in bum feces!
	And that's the way I like it!
	Clang clang clang like the trolley!
	Are you just singing show tunes?
	He's crazy!
	Not me!
	He's crazy!
	I have ice cream!
	Look at all of it!
	He's nuts!
	Speaking of nuts, do you like pecan?
	He's nothing like this $4,000 ice cream that I put in my $90,000 freezer!
	There's no business like show business!
	She looks like every scarf is covering a trach hole.
	Does she just be on that commercial where she's like, this is what I have to do now.
	Right, like she's gonna have a Val Kilmer equivalent documentary coming out.
	Oh, that was sad.
	So let me go through treason really quickly before I present to you how they're going to argue this.
	Again, hold me to it.
	Under U.S.
	Code 18, Section 2387, this is, it defined a member of the armed forces who, with intent to interfere with, impair, or influence the loyalty, morale, or discipline of the military or naval forces of the United States, or advises, counsels, urges, or in any manner causes or attempts to cause insubordination, disloyalty, mutiny, or refusal of duty by any member of the military or naval forces of the United States.
	So let me give you a few quick points here, okay?
	This is important and you guys can come in.
	Commander-in-Chief doesn't actually apply to all Americans.
	Commander-in-Chief applies to people who are serving the United States military because their boss is the President.
	Whether you like that or not, if he issues orders, you have to carry out orders.
	To usurp those orders is treasonous, and we're talking specifically about treason if you are an active member of the military.
	Let me also paint to you a picture sort of pragmatically.
	Let's say you're going to buy a used car, and the dealer wants $20,000 for the car.
	And you go in with your top guy.
	You go in with your second in command.
	You say, look, I'm probably willing to pay $17,500, but I'm going to start at $15,000.
	He goes, OK, good.
	So you're on the same page.
	You understand the negotiation.
	Your friend says, hold on.
	I got to go to the bathroom.
	He goes to the car dealer.
	Hey, by the way, he'll take $17,500.
	He's just ruined!
	He's taken away all of your leverage.
	Now, let's use that and apply bombs.
	Apply nuclear weapons.
	Apply life-altering trade deals.
	That's why you can't have treason.
	Now, I do think this is treason, and we have... I can't say it on YouTube, but there's a punishment for treason in the military.
	Look it up!
	Take a wild guess.
	Here's the issue here, or this is what I want you to hold me to.
	I guarantee you this is how the media is going to frame this.
	Tell me if I'm wrong.
	They're going to say, well, at this point, you know, General Milley is actually a hero because he was trying to, he was so concerned about crazy, crazy, crazy, nine times from Nancy Pelosi, he was so concerned about a crazy, unstable Trump that he was actually trying to protect your constitutional rights by going around him.
	He was torn between obeying a president with no disregard for the Constitution or your rights, who was willing to completely Completely bypass constitutional law.
	So he had to take action for the good of the American people.
	That's how they're going to argue it.
	Just like they were arguing every American who wanted to leave could leave, and I told you that wasn't the case.
	They're going to argue that Milley is a hero who is trying to protect your constitutional rights against a tyrant, Donald Trump.
	That will be the argument.
	Now let me ask you, if this passes the sniff test, General Milley was trying to protect our constitutional rights from the tyrant that is Donald Trump by feeding information to China?
	A nation that affords no rights, let alone a constitution?
	You believe the hero of the Constitution to accept the premise that the media will be feeding you that General Milley acted on conscience against an anti-constitutional president?
	By going around the back of the president of the only country that has a constitution like we have, by the way, which includes freedom of speech and freedom to protect that freedom of speech, to inform the Communist Chinese Party!
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I was watching CNN this morning trying not to lose my mind because they're laying the groundwork for that and saying that this happens all the time.
	This happened in Iran, this happened in North Korea, and I'm like, do you understand what you just heard on that call?
	You heard the Speaker of the House Going and basically becoming the executive branch, saying, don't worry about what the president, he's crazy, you have to make sure that these weapons are secure.
	Nancy Pelosi has zero say in if we go to war.
	She has zero say if we launch nuclear weapons.
	Guess who also has zero say?
	General Milley.
	He does not get to approve it.
	If he does not follow an order from Donald Trump, by the way, the president who didn't attack anyone and start wars. The entire modern presidency, right? And so you're
	now concerned in 14 days, Nancy?
	Sorry, January 8th. 12 days that he's going to do that? No.
	That is not how you run a country.
	And there's a reason that you don't do that. Because it's not about how you feel, General.
	It's not about how you feel, Nancy, about Donald Trump. It is about the laws that we have set in
	place and the processes and procedures to make sure tyranny does not come back.
	You are not the president.
	And no matter how bad you want to be, you're not that guy making the decision.
	And this is an amazing thing for people to say is normal.
	And it's good that he did that.
	No, it's never good to go around the system like this.
	Well, even if you believe that he went around the system, he went around the system to China.
	Let's be clear.
	So there's no going around the system to a system that will afford anybody more rights.
	Well, and what's the best endgame of that?
	Us being destroyed?
	I mean, China's a massive country.
	Let's be honest, they could overpower us and they have our debt.
	Right.
	So why would you do that?
	Well, and they hate Tyrone!
	To prove that Donald Trump is mean?
	Well, the truth is we're relying on a height advantage when it comes to the overpowering.
	I know, I'm tall there.
	I get off the plane and I'm like, I'm your king!
	They're just gonna have to throw all their bodies at our border like World War Z. You know they all have the same haircut?
	It's very similar.
	Very, very similar.
	Strikingly.
	You know who's really pissed off about this, though?
	Taiwan.
	You know one of the reasons that China doesn't just take them back?
	Because the United States military.
	They cannot defend themselves.
	John Cena?
	John Cena, yeah.
	He's very, very, very sorry.
	He's gonna come in and nebulize his steroids so they all become sterile.
	We're the threat!
	When you take that away, and literally in the book I think they were quoting it saying, they were like, hey, don't listen to the tweets, don't listen to the rhetoric, everything's fine.
	Come on.
	Are you serious?
	The people in Taiwan right now are shaking because they just saw us bail on Afghanistan and leave not only them, but our citizens behind.
	Without the United States Navy, Taiwan would cease to exist.
	It would.
	And it's the threat of the United States saying, China, keep your ass in line.
	We side with these guys.
	Taiwan, not with you.
	Donald Trump, I wish you would have been firmer on that, but certainly was more firm than Milley.
	Certainly was more for him than Joe Biden.
	Okay, let's move on here to the Norm Macdonald tribute.
	And this is, I think this is actually going to be a lot of fun.
	Before we go into some other information, of course, Deadline reported that Norm passed away nine, was it nine?
	Nine years.
	Secret battle.
	Nine years of cancer as he was fighting.
	We didn't even tell his fans or his family.
	Which makes a lot of sense that he would start a podcast and then stop it.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	A lot of things make sense now.
	He was very intermittent.
	Yeah, and he was going to go into another season, I know, of his show, I heard.
	Right.
	And they pulled a lot of that off of YouTube, unfortunately, because I believe it's now owned by Netflix.
	Oh.
	They'll probably do a special or something.
	Yeah, it's just a shame.
	Well, before any of that, I just want to show, this is my second favorite Norm joke of all time, beyond the one that we showed earlier.
	And this one is very short, which shows the brilliance of Norm.
	It can be a long, slow burn, or boom, catch you off guard.
	That pattern disruption.
	Here you go.
	Well, a big seller this holiday season is Michael Bolton's Christmas album, This Is The Time.
	Happy birthday, Jesus.
	Hope you like crap.
	What I loved about him on Weekend Update is he said when he wrote it, and you know, like he wrote with a few other people that were great, was he just said, just go for the joke.
	I don't want to dance around it.
	I don't want to, I just want to be as blunt as possible and put it out there.
	Yeah.
	And by the way, shout out to Jeremy Boring at the Daily Wire.
	That's one of his favorite jokes too.
	I remember him having lunch years ago talking about our favorite Norm Bitson.
	Talk about his time on the view but speaking of his battle with with cancer It's sort of paints a new light or sheds I should say a new light on this joke that he told I believe it was in his very In his last special he had two specials in the last five years at Hitler's dog and me doing stand-up, right?
	Hitler's dog was I think more recent and yeah me doing and they were both fantastic.
	I believe this is Hitler's those two of the funniest specials ever Which is really hard to do when you've been doing stand-up for so long.
	I think it was Don Henley who said with music, you know, anyone can write their freshman album.
	You have your whole life to write it.
	You have six months to write your sophomore.
	And with stand-up, that's true.
	A lot of people have an amazing special and then they don't have another one again.
	That's when you have people like Bill Burr, Louis C.K., who are truly the greats.
	And Norm Macdonald certainly were.
	Look, there are some that are better, there are some that are worse, but they are all fantastic.
	But this, I believe, I don't know the exact year, but certainly took place in the last nine years and shows you how indignant Norm was with the media and how he joked about the face of death that he was actively facing at the time he told it.
	The reason I don't like it is because in the old days they'd go, hey, that old man died now.
	They'd go, hey, he lost his battle.
	That's no way to end your life, you know?
	What a loser that guy was!
	Last thing he did was lose!
	He was waging a brave battle, but at the end, I guess he got kinda cowardly, was what happened.
	And then, the bowel cancer, it got brave.
	You gotta give it to the bowel cancer.
	You know, they're in a battle.
	And then, what the ****?
	I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure if the cancer dies, I mean if you die, the cancer also dies at exactly the same time.
	So that to me is not a loss, that's a draw.
	What's so great about that bit is you know it offended people, and he had the card to go, well, I have cancer, but he never played it.
	Just because he believed you could make fun of anything.
	Exactly.
	And he stood by it.
	And I think that's what really bothers me right now about him dying is, you know, for example, when everyone used to show the Johnny Cash poster, right?
	Of him doing this, right?
	People go, oh yeah, I love Johnny Cash.
	I go, no you don't!
	Do you know, hey, do you know Johnny Cash said you're going to hell?
	Johnny Cash sure may have been anti-war.
	Johnny Cash was a rebel, absolutely.
	But Johnny Cash said that if you rejected Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior, you are going to hell, period.
	Do you know that?
	Do you like that part about Johnny?
	Well, I don't like that part.
	In other words, Johnny Cash was rebelling against a culture, and sure, he rebelled against some things that maybe you agreed with when you look at things like Nixon and you understand some of his views on war, which are not, by the way, untenable as a Christian.
	But what would be untenable as a Christian is to say, well, you know what, there is no hell and it's all good.
	No, no, no.
	He was very clear that your soul faced eternal damnation.
	And people just go, I like Johnny Cash because he gave the middle finger.
	You don't appreciate what he was.
	Norm Macdonald was unapologetically Pro-free speech, defended at every turn, and also he unapologetically attacked laziness in comedy, particularly had a sore spot when you do the research for the sort of edgy atheist wave of comedy.
	Yeah, he really did, which was, especially at that time, On NBC to take that sort of a stance, too, which I know we'll probably get into later with that clip.
	Yeah, we have that coming up right here.
	He really did, though.
	He really stood against it, which was not easy to do.
	And people began to, like you said, that people did begin to turn on him in the last few years.
	And that's what I just find to be disgraceful, because it was always about being funny.
	Yeah, it was always about being funny, and I want to hear your favorite Norm jokes and how much you really knew about Norm.
	And one of my favorite quotes is actually said about Ricky Gervais when he was being interviewed about his book.
	And he said, you know, the thing is, there are only really a few people who are, you know, like true stand-up comedians, you know, where they really identify with stand-up.
	You know, like people, you have people like Louis C.K.
	and people like George Wallace, you know, and I'm not nearly as highly regarded as those people.
	He absolutely was.
	Yes.
	But he said, but you know, then you have people like Ricky Gervais where people say, he has these three specials, have you seen Ricky Gervais?
	His comedy?
	Well, he's only done it three times!
	You know?
	And, oh, oh, we get, oh, okay, the atheist thing there, that's new.
	Then he said, but of course Ricky Gervais is very funny, The Office is an unbelievable piece of work, it's fantastic, but is that a stand-up?
	This was something he would take on all the time.
	Yeah.
	But let's go back, because a lot of people don't remember this.
	You may know that he got kicked off of Weekend Update for making OJ and Michael Jackson jokes.
	The reason that these jokes were the last straw is, yes, because the head of NBC at that time was Friends.
	Yes.
	Right?
	Again, the elites with OJ.
	But also, they were concerned about the fact that he was going after Michael Jackson so aggressively and OJ, and it being seen as potentially racist.
	So again, that's the context you need to understand back then.
	That a lot of people now don't remember.
	Because now you're looking at it going, well why would he get in trouble, OJ and Michael, like we all know.
	No, no, no.
	Back then there was still a huge contingency of Americans who said going after them was a byproduct of white nationalism.
	So actually... Yeah, that was during the trial too.
	When he was on Weekend Update making those jokes, and it's like, don't talk about OJ, he's my friend.
	Boy, did he lean into it until he lost his job.
	I love that.
	And it was right after Rodney King, and it was the Mark Furman-Edward thing where they were trying to turn this all into a racial issue, and NBC wanted to avoid it.
	And so, here, knowing that context, is a montage during this time of a racial powder keg.
	Seems like we've had those a lot.
	Norm McDonnell leaning into it.
	And the Pope came out with a book this week, which contains a series of essays examining faith and morality in today's secular world and the changing role of the Catholic Church as it approaches the 21st century.
	The book is entitled, God Himself Told Me That O.J.
	Is Guilty.
	In his book, O.J.
	Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole.
	Man, I'm going to tell you, that is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you.
	Judge Ito was interviewed this week by a local TV station in Los Angeles.
	Asked by the interviewer if it was appropriate for a supposedly impartial judge to be on TV with his case still pending, Ito said, maybe not, but how appropriate is it to kill your ex-wife?
	He'd already been told, don't touch it.
	The racial vague in my head.
	It was revealed today that O.J.
	Simpson told police that Nicole Brown Simpson used to beat him up.
	He also claimed that she and Ron Goldman killed him.
	OJ Simpson's lawyers have decided to skip hearings on DNA evidence and go right to trial.
	Asked why they did this, the lawyers replied, we want to get OJ acquitted as speedily as possible so he can get back to doing what he does best, killing people.
	You know it's coming and it's still funny.
	Let's get to OJ. OJ Simpson's lawyers say they don't want the families of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman in the
	courtroom during the trial.
	They're afraid the presence of the family members will just remind OJ of how much more killing he still has to do.
	What I love about Norm on Update was that he's not even doing that well with the audience.
	And at the time when I was young I was laughing so hard I never noticed until I was a comic.
	And the other joke I love that he did was he said Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson are getting a divorce.
	She wishes he was more of a homebody and he wishes she was a seven-year-old boy.
	I remember he said the closest thing he ever had to a perfect joke, and he used it twice.
	He used it with Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel.
	But he said the most perfect version was Julia Roberts.
	Was she married to Lyle Lovett?
	Lyle Lovett, yeah.
	And he said, probably the most perfect joke, you know, is that I've been trying to search for my... and he really was serious, trying to search for the perfect joke his whole life.
	The closest I've come is where, you know, the punchline was the same as the setup, where I said, uh, uh, Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett have filed for divorce today, citing the reason that they realized she was Julia Roberts and he was Lyle Lovett.
	And what he said was probably the best joke he'd ever written.
	This is at least a few years ago.
	I just love the bravery, right?
	So his career was on the line.
	He's being told not to do these things.
	He'd probably be labeled a racist, you know, like you said.
	That was the trend that they were heading into.
	And he just came out and was just like, I'm absolutely going to double down.
	And it definitely hurt him because he didn't do as many movies as his other co-stars did from SNL.
	And it's a tragedy because I loved him as the lead in Dirty Work.
	He was great in that.
	Dirty Work is underrated.
	I love it.
	I love Dirty Work.
	Dirty Work's original script though, the R-rated version, that you can get online is like the funniest thing I've ever read.
	So just imagine how funny the PG-13 is.
	But Norm being able to do anything he wants.
	Like him in prison after they, you know, rape him.
	You should be ashamed.
	You know what hurts the most?
	It's the lack of respect.
	Well, actually, the anal sex hurts the most.
	Second most.
	It's funny about those two.
	I'll tell you this scene.
	If you haven't seen Dirty Work, because we can't show it.
	We haven't seen Dirty Work.
	Yeah, he's sitting there.
	He's pulling up his pants.
	He's just been raped in prison.
	Hurts the most, yeah, is a lack of respect.
	Well, except for the other thing.
	That hurts the most.
	But what hurts a second the most is a lack of respect.
	You boys have a lot of growing up to do, I'll tell you that right now.
	Ridiculous! He walks off. Ridiculous!
	I love that movie!
	One of my favorite lines in any movie is just, I have to go lift weights.
	What?
	What?
	And I love one of my favorite things in Dirty Work too is the prank that he pulled in Dirty Work.
	So there are these frat boys who beat them up in Dirty Work.
	And so there's a scene where what they do is they go into the frat house dressed as cops.
	Yeah.
	But they basically tip their hand that they're not real cops, like, uh, hi, yes, we've been getting noise complaints.
	I don't remember exactly what it was.
	And the guys go...
	Oh, okay, we see what's going on here.
	You know, these are fake cops.
	They kicked them out.
	And then Norm calls them on a payphone.
	And he goes, hey, yeah, just so you know, this is your buddy, Chad.
	He's like, Chad, why are you not at the party?
	He goes, yeah, I'm just letting you know, there are people going around dressed as fake cops, but they're not real.
	They're actually, and they're going to come to you and say it's a noise complaint.
	They're going to try and rip off your stuff.
	He's like, oh man, thanks for letting us know.
	Okay, you guys go back to doing something completely homoerotic.
	Hello, real cops?
	He calls the cops to the house, and these guys beat their ass and they all go to prison.
	And that's what starts his revenge.
	You know exactly the next 5-10 minutes of the movie, the scene is, Hello, real cops?
	And I love that he fed, however you want to call him, Chevy Chase, a lot of the lines that he actually felt like his gambling addiction went through him because he was the doctor that couldn't stop betting.
	It's like, are you a betting man?
	But he's like, you know, when a bookie shoots off your toe, you still have to pay him.
	Does that make sense?
	Does that make sense?
	I don't know.
	So is my dad going to live?
	Actually, Chevy Chase is a funny actor.
	Is my dad going to live?
	No, no, no.
	Very focused on himself.
	But here's the bill.
	And of course him and Farley.
	Somebody put up a picture of him and Farley yesterday and I forgot like that's just such a great image of two people that are gone way too soon.
	Oh yeah.
	I love is a Saigon whore.
	Yeah, and I had a rough days at a bar.
	But at least my nose wasn't bitten off by a Saigon whore.
	And then it just shows Chris Farley at the bar, and he turns around with the worst makeup ever, and his nose is in half.
	YOU BASTARD!
	I'm just joking with you.
	The next drink's on me.
	G8, Street Fightin' Man.
	You hit G7.
	I like piña coladas.
	Oh, sorry.
	Underrated film, man, underrated.
	That's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off!
	Remember later he's going to this, he's like, hey, we have to leave in the car to marry the Saigon whore, and he's like, blah, blah, blah!
	Why don't you shut your pie hole, Yoko?
	Sometimes the hen's gotta know who the rooster is.
	The Saigon whore bit my new nose off.
	This is probably not good for my throat, but I don't have COVID!
	Sinus infection.
	I just, yeah, that movie is, it's just written for comedy.
	It's like a back-of-the-room funny, but also, yeah, it's arguably the funniest movie ever.
	Yeah, and it's like, there are cringe moments where you, because it tries so much, that not everything lands, but it's young Artie Lang and Norm Macdonald, Jack Warden, I forget the name, Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore, Chevy Chase, Well, Norm discovered Artie.
	He brought him on, I mean, I shouldn't say discovered, but got him to that next level.
	He was on Mad TV and then he brought him on Stern.
	Yeah.
	Because he had a lot of great stories.
	So Norm was kind of responsible for Artie's career.
	Okay, so there's so much to get to.
	I could talk about Norm for hours and hours.
	So you were talking about how dangerous that was, you know, the Weekend Update stuff.
	He was banned from The View.
	A lot of people know this.
	He was banned from The View, and I talked about this back in my Grand Rapids studio.
	These clips were not available for a very long time.
	They were hard to find.
	They were hard to find.
	The first time we tried to pull these clips, they were gone.
	So we'll show you, sort of in ascending order, him kind of trolling The View a little bit.
	Yeah.
	Just, you know, basically saying racially tinged things with Star Jones.
	To outright, basically, when people talk about this now, the Clinton body count.
	Yeah.
	Bring the Clinton murder conspiracy to The View live on air.
	That's why he was banned.
	So, it's a longer clip, but you need to see this progression.
	He was not allowed on The View for decades.
	It was okay.
	What'd you think?
	Well, I tell ya, I did love the pod race.
	That's the best part.
	Star Wars.
	There's this race in the middle of it.
	I'm a big Star Wars fan because... Billie Dee Williams, I think.
	I think you'll like that.
	Yes, with my man Harrison Ford playing Han Solo.
	Now that was Star Wars.
	She's so offensive.
	That was so funny.
	I love George Bush, man.
	He's a good man.
	Decent.
	You know, none of the...
	Yeah, he's, you know, he's not a liar or a crook murderer or anything like that, so it'd be good to get the... See, I don't... I think we should get the homicide out of the White House.
	A fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers.
	I think we should just go on to the next question.
	Who are the murderers?
	Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy.
	This is not my week, what can I tell you?
	Oh, it's not mine either, and I'm being very nice, okay?
	I'm being a good boy.
	Now, Norm?
	Do you ever hear that?
	I don't want to get into this, and I don't want to hear it, and this is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny!
	That was hilarious!
	There you go!
	This is a live show!
	Wow!
	But you have been properly chastised by Barbara, so I'm not going to ask the next question.
	I thought it was a matter of record!
	Show!
	Nobody just keeps going.
	I'm gonna get him off!
	Well, they keep trying to overpower him in the end.
	He's too funny.
	Next stop, football!
	All right, manslaughter!
	And by the way, the brilliance, here's the brilliance of that last line, manslaughter, okay?
	There was no conspiracy or accusation of an accidental death.
	No.
	So in other words, when he says, all right, manslaughter, as though he's being conciliatory there, No, he's drawing attention to the fact that this obviously could only have been premeditated murder.
	And this is back, George W. Bush had just won.
	So this would have been, you know, 2000, maybe 2001.
	Yeah, really early.
	And no one was talking about it.
	And I just remember watching it.
	I must have been homesick that day.
	I watched it live.
	And I remember going, at this point there was no YouTube, and I'm like, oh my god.
	Where am I ever going to see this again?
	It's just so funny because they keep going like, he lets them get far enough down the road where they think they're safe and on to the next topic and then he's just like, I thought this was a matter of record.
	And you can tell, though, that they're frustrated with him, and he's never frustrated with them.
	That's the difference.
	He just knows that he... He doesn't dislike them.
	He's just trying to be funny and, you know, honest.
	Well, and to be fair, he's not always a bad... Like, there's also, when you're a guest, you'd want to be cordial, but they weren't mad that he was being a bad guest.
	They were mad that he was bringing up a topic that that was a source.
	Well, yeah, that he went right to it, and they had to take, you know, the other stand.
	They just had to say, don't talk about that.
	And think about, he had met the Clintons and the connection with SNL and NBC, SNL and the Clintons is huge.
	Oh, of course, absolutely.
	And we've done a whole segment on that.
	It's pretty much every network, every single major network in their heads.
	If you go to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, you go from the CEO or network president, just down through vice presidents, you will find someone directly who worked in a Clinton campaign or Barack Obama, either a speechwriter, advisor, we've done a whole segment on it.
	You guys can run a search.
	Kate McKinnon playing the piano playing hallelujah as Hillary Clinton when she lost what I mean that's just showing your hand yeah I know that was really something she's brave though so uh this is something by the way just so I want you to know um You know, Norm Macdonald had a big impact on me.
	And then we'll get to, obviously, a big impact on Dave.
	So I was fortunate that my mother, who works for this company now, was an award-winning wardrobe stylist, costume designer.
	Uh, up in Montreal, for the Montreal Comedy Festival, just for laughs.
	And for people who don't know, that's... I don't know, now there are other ones, but certainly for a time, it was the biggest comedy event of the year.
	I still think it qualifies.
	But back then, if you made it there, it was considered like you'd made it.
	It wasn't like the Tonight Show, but it was the closest thing that wasn't necessarily televised.
	Yeah, it was, yeah, it used to be, that's what broke you, and now...
	Nothing really matters.
	Right, nothing really matters.
	It's what can you do by yourself, you know?
	Pretty much.
	Your own audience.
	And this is mirrored in sports.
	It's not necessarily how good you are, like certainly in combat sports, Jake Paul is demanding more money than UFC middleweight champion.
	Yeah.
	So it's changed, but back then you used to have to go through the Just for Laughs, and so my mom would do the wardrobe and costumes, and so one year she could be having, I've talked about this, could be Jerry Seinfeld, could be John John Candy, I remember they had a real panic because John Candy was doing a sketch where he sang the Barney song, and this was when Barney was pretty new, and they blew him up.
	But they got a letter from the Barney people at PBS, so they had to change it enough.
	So it wasn't like a purple Barney, it was more of a mauve And I remember my mom having to go out and basically refabric this Barney outfit.
	So I just remember all these things as a kid being backstage, and I was allowed to be either backstage or as a seat filler.
	And what happens is these executives will get really expensive seats, and they often don't show up.
	And so if the show starts and the seats are empty, this is televised in Canada, so they'll send in people to fill in two empty seats there, three empty seats there, and there are very few empty seats, but it's just you don't want any empty seats in those first few rows.
	So I got to watch the set that got Ray Romano his show, that got Kevin James his show.
	I remember seeing Jeff Dunham when no one knew who he was when I was a little kid.
	And this, I believe, happened, the claim is it was 1991 online, but I think he either retold it or they're wrong and it was 92 or 93 because I know I was there both of those years and watching from the crowd.
	And I remember hearing Norm Macdonald tell this joke, this is not political at all, but I remember as a kid, Having really only been allowed to listen to Bill Cosby and, like, Jerry Seinfeld, not that much at this point.
	Keep in mind I was five.
	Yeah.
	My parents may not have been super familiar with Norm's stand-up, because back then they knew him as the Weekend Update guy, but maybe didn't know a whole bunch about his stand-up.
	So I watched his set live, and he had a joke about a man killing his family because the devil told him to.
	And it was the first joke that I had heard with the structure that was totally different, and immediately he became One of, if not my favorite, comedians.
	So, I was watching this live, little Steven Crowder, in 92 or 93.
	Norm Macdonald, tell this joke, clip K. Man, there's crazy guys everywhere.
	I was reading about this guy in the paper, get this folks, guy I was reading about, he killed his whole family because the devil told him to.
	Can you believe that?
	What a dork, huh?
	That was the headline in the paper, it said, what a dork!
	Imagine that, you kill your whole family just because the devil tells you.
	Then afterwards, you go back to the devil and go, yes, devil, I did as you instructed.
	I killed my family, slaughtered them as they lay sleeping, and then I chopped them up and put them in a duffel bag.
	Here they are in a duffel bag.
	I'll be burying them tonight at the shallow grave by the side of the railroad track, as you have commanded.
	Oh, Lord, host of the hoary netherworld.
	And then the devil pulls off a mask.
	It's me, Bob!
	Laughter Applause
	Laughter You go, Hi Bob!
	He's a guy, me Bob!
	You got me there!
	Is my face red or what here?
	I got my family in a duffel bag over here.
	That's one for you there, Bobby.
	That reminds me of one of my favorites, when he's talking about shallow gray.
	Yeah, serial killers.
	Yeah, serial killers, where it's like, you spend all this time stalking somebody, plotting their murder, eventually finding them, killing them, cutting them up, then you get to the burial part and you're like, ah, just throw some twigs and leaves.
	Twigs and leaves.
	Move on.
	It's funny, when you watch Norm's specials, you can see, though, a personal fascination with things like shallow graves.
	It's a recurring theme.
	And probably something that scared him.
	Well, yeah, there is a darkness to it.
	It's what we've talked about on the show, where you make a dark joke and people are like, why?
	I don't know if I like that.
	It's like, well, that's why.
	It's because it is something that's dark that you're trying to shine some light on or even work out in your own head.
	Yeah.
	Well, he has a joke in that special about if he were a rapist serial killer, how he would capture the woman.
	Yes.
	And it's hysterical.
	These people, like, they always get caught, you know.
	For me, if I were trying to, you know, Kidnap and kill a woman, I'd be really coy about it, you know?
	For example, I would study her habits, and I don't want to butcher this, but I would study her habits, you know?
	So maybe I would notice that every day she goes to the same sandwich shop, you know, and gets these cheese sandwiches.
	Write that down, you know?
	And then after a while of learning her habits and her schedule, maybe she'd go to a grocery
	store and I would pull up in my van and what would I happen to have?
	A cheese sandwich.
	And I would wait for her to walk out of the grocery store, you know, and she'd walk out
	and I would say, hey, what do you got there?
	What do you got groceries?
	She would say, yeah, what's that in your hand?
	I'd say, oh, this?
	Nothing.
	It looks like a cheese sandwich over there.
	I play it really cool and go, uh, no, that's no cheese sandwich over there.
	I don't, uh, it looks like you're holding a cheese sandwich.
	I would say, uh, lady, I'd probably know what's in my own hand.
	I would know if there's a cheese sandwich in there.
	Oh!
	Oh, this!
	Oh, yeah, it is a cheese sandwich.
	What, do you like them or something?
	Cheese sandwiches?
	I got a van full of cheese sandwiches.
	Abducting and killing. How he would do it.
	He also has a great bit about how shame, the shame of sex, where he's like, people put on leather and he's like, they want to make it more shameful than it already is.
	He's like, you're already closing the blinds.
	It's not because you're doing something good in there.
	He's like, and then you finish and you're like, I'm just going to take off these leather trousers.
	Something people don't know about you?
	He got to roll clip J where he confused Larry King.
	And it's not that hard to confuse Larry King, let's be honest.
	He was friends with him though.
	Him and Larry King actually had a pretty funny dynamic.
	Larry King had zero sense of humor, that's why it was funny.
	A serious confusing Larry King about his sexual orientation.
	Something people don't know about you.
	I'm a deeply closeted gay guy.
	I'm not coming out though.
	Wait a minute.
	What are you revealing here today?
	I'm not revealing anything.
	I'm saying I'm deeply closeted.
	That means you're gay.
	Well, I wouldn't say that.
	Why would I say that?
	I'm deeply closeted.
	That means you're very, very gay, but you don't want to come out.
	You're so closeted... That I refuse to say I'm gay.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	Doesn't that mean you're gay?
	Hey, hey, hey!
	Easy, buddy!
	Hey, hey, hey!
	Oh, he was the best with people who had no sense of humor.
	That's when he shines.
	So funny.
	Thanks for explaining it, Larry.
	So, what you're saying is... That means you're closeted and means you're secretly gay.
	My favorite Larry King dumbass moment was with Jerry Seinfeld on his show.
	And he's in and he goes, So, Jerry...
	So, Jerry Seinfeld, number one show of all time, to be clear, wasn't cancelled.
	Jerry Seinfeld goes, cancelled?
	What?
	Number one show of all time?
	Larry, can someone get Larry a resume?
	Does Larry know who I am?
	It's you from Brooklyn.
	Next question.
	He just doesn't know how to deal with it.
	And this is where we get into the part of the portrait that the media will never paint.
	I would say the funniest man who's ever lived.
	Certainly, you could argue it.
	I would agree.
	Yeah, and like I said, there's objectively funny.
	You could put at the top, you know, people like the Richard Pryors, the Mount Rush, if you're having a Mount Rushmore, the George Carlins.
	No one would argue with you if you're just saying, I think Norm Macdonald should be up there.
	People may disagree, but they won't be like, oh, that's just so out of line.
	Yeah.
	It's true standup, though.
	Right.
	It's all comedy.
	It's all comedy.
	But he personally was, Really pretty conservative, and later in life, a devout Christian, and his faith meant a lot to him.
	And this is someone who struggled.
	He struggled with, I think it's well-known, gambling.
	He struggled.
	He talked about struggling with issues, addiction issues.
	And I don't necessarily mean substance addiction issues.
	And he spoke about... He lost his fortune twice.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and he's spoken about that.
	And he would actually take unpopular stances to speak out.
	Yeah, see, that was a throat burp.
	I heard that.
	Yeah, that was audible.
	And now I have a sore throat.
	That's terrible!
	Damn you, Lamb Vindaloo!
	It was your own fault!
	It was your own fault!
	It was his fault for saying maximum spice.
	Bring the heat.
	You deserve it.
	When I'm sick, I love spicy food. It just helps clear it up.
	Yeah, it does.
	I still have an asshole.
	Okay, good.
	It's still there.
	It's dangling.
	Remember to check your asshole there, make sure you still got one.
	Get it in there.
	So, he was a very devout, conflicted Christian, and actually I'll talk about how, you'll see later, one of these guys who we criticized in the last Comic Standing, I had on the show.
	Seven or eight years ago, Harrison Greenbaum, a gay comedian who Norm didn't really like, unless comic standing, but here he is taking opportunities to express his faith, and it pissed a lot of people off, not to mention if you actually read his writings.
	You get a lot of attention on Twittersphere for being open about your religious views.
	What are they?
	I'm a Christian.
	It's not stylish to say now.
	No, are you devout?
	Yeah.
	You believe in the Lord?
	Yes, I do.
	You think you're going somewhere when it ends?
	Well, I don't believe it, but what people don't understand about faith is that you have to choose it.
	You know what I mean?
	They think that you believe it, but you have to choose it.
	I'm a New Yorker.
	Yeah, New York?
	Nice.
	I actually got into an argument on the subway, and the guy quoted the Bible at me.
	That is not fair.
	Like, if you get to quote from your favorite book, I should be able to quote from my favorite book, right?
	He was like, men do not live on bread alone, Matthews 4.4.
	And I was like, everybody's a little bit magic, Harry Potter, Chapter 7.
	And you're real brave.
	I mean, the stuff you're talking about, Bible jokes, that's some brave s***.
	Thank you.
	I disagree.
	I don't think the Bible joke is brave at all.
	I think if you're going to take on an entire religion, you should maybe know what you're talking about.
	J.K.
	Rowling is a Christian, and J.K.
	Rowling famously said that if you're familiar with the scriptures, you could easily guess the ending of her book.
	I don't like it.
	I just want to go to sleep when I'm old and have a nice dream or something.
	Where are you going to go?
	To die.
	To go with the Lord.
	You believe in the Lord?
	I do.
	You do?
	Are you religious?
	I believe in God.
	I do too.
	That's as far as I go.
	Yeah, me too.
	And I don't need your buddy Bill Maher telling me I'm an idiot.
	People like, they gave you that guy idea.
	The old guy.
	Sure.
	Well, how would we know his nature?
	But when I look into your eyes though...
	I'm not joking.
	It's just I've never had a talk show host say that to me.
	When I look in your eyes, I see... And I've done hundreds of talk shows.
	I see an eternal being.
	I've never got the answer to the one question, which is why?
	Why Connecticut children?
	Why?
	Why a bomber in Boston?
	Because if there is a God, He's omnipotent.
	If He's omnipotent, He could prevent it.
	Why didn't He prevent it?
	I don't know, man, but you gotta stop hanging out in that hot tub with Bill Maher all the time.
	Sounds like you got a God-shaped hole in your heart.
	What the hell are you talking about?
	And that just shows someone who doesn't know what he's talking about there.
	This is God-shaped toilet.
	You've heard me use that term before.
	No.
	It's kind of ubiquitous, and Larry King just... I can't believe it.
	Was Seinfeld cancelled?
	I mean, honestly, it's a good question to ask, but it's not that deep of a question, either.
	We have so many Norm clips.
	Should we just do this right now?
	Keep going on YouTube?
	Because I almost feel like it would be disrespectful to go to a mug club.
	I think so.
	I say keep going for a minute.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	It'll just be a little bit of a longer show.
	Maybe we won't have time for the crush game.
	Okay.
	We'll do that tomorrow.
	It's not every day Norm Macdonald dies.
	Right.
	Well, that was yesterday.
	And you know what?
	Do me a favor.
	The best thing you can do is comment for the algorithm.
	Pause it and comment, and we'll review these comments to see if you think it was the right call for us to continue.
	Because I know it's long.
	I just think there's a lot about Norm Macdonald that you've missed, and I want to give him the respect that he deserves.
	Also, Smash that like button if you can, because that also helps.
	You know, smash it for Norm.
	Well, get yourself one of these nice mugs here.
	No, let's not use his death to sell mugs.
	We'll use it to get light.
	Norm!
	I'm not saying that.
	I'm just saying that normally we would go to something that's behind the scenes now.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Do we have the montage too?
	Because I realized I wanted to hit this.
	Not montage, the bit that Dave said was a big influence where he talks about Alcoholics Anonymous.
	It's one of my favorite, it might be my favorite Norm bit ever.
	And let people know too, that's because you've... I mean, well I can't say what I'm in, but I think we know.
	You're in a multi-step program.
	I'm in recovery, and one of my favorite things that he ever said about gambling was, yeah it's a disease, but it's the only disease where you win money.
	By the way, have you watched Loudermilk on Amazon?
	I have.
	It's great.
	It's great.
	Yeah, it's really good.
	Will Sasso, especially.
	I know.
	Yeah, he's fantastic.
	And I think Ron Livingston is great.
	Oh, yeah, he's always good.
	But Will Sasso, I just think, has that character that brings it to this next level.
	It is.
	For people who don't know, it's a show.
	And by the way, guarantee you it has a... yeah, Regan deserves the Emmy.
	Yeah.
	Has a conservative writer on there, a conservative creator.
	And it's balanced.
	It makes fun of Trump a couple times, but it also makes fun of the LGBTQ, AIP, gender pronouns, political correctness.
	It's one of those shows that is as balanced and an equal opportunity offender that I can possibly think of.
	And so it seems appropriate, while talking about Norm, to mention that show Louder Milk on Amazon, because hopefully it'll have a fourth season.
	I would say one of the best comedy that I can think of, of the last few years.
	We have that clip there?
	All right, this is a clip, and you can just tell us when to stop it, Dave, because we didn't bring this into the tricam.
	Yeah, it's a longer clip, but if you just see the first minute or two, you kind of get where it is, and it's brilliant.
	Okay, here we go.
	Hello, my buddy.
	I did want to say one thing about my buddy, Richie, who has a disease.
	But it's an interesting disease he has.
	He has a disease of alcoholism.
	Alcoholism.
	And he came to me, you know, and he told me, and I like to look, I'm the kind of guy that likes to look at the bright side of things, you know.
	So I told him, I said, Richie, it's true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got the best one.
	It's the only disease where you get to drink booze all the time.
	I haven't looked at every medical journal, but I believe It's the only disease where you can constantly drink booze.
	As a matter of fact, that is the disease.
	You know, and I don't think Richie would think he had a disease.
	Like, I don't think Richie would go to my Uncle Bert and go, hey, I understand you got bowel cancer.
	Ah, man, I know how you feel.
	I gotta drink a lot of booze.
	Those diseases.
	They're tough, those diseases.
	Huh, Uncle Bert?
	Hey, what's your symptoms, Uncle Bert?
	Well, my bowel, I got blood pouring out of it all the time.
	I got bowel blood pouring out, gushing out of my bowel, almost non-stop.
	And I got searing, clawing pains, ripping, tearing, you know, mind-screeching bowel pains.
	And they're combined with aching, dull, soul-deadening bowel pain.
	Those are basically my symptoms.
	How about you?
	I get happy.
	And I love that bit just because he's speaking from a point of an addict.
	Right.
	And just saying how preposterous it kind of is, but at the same time how, you know, he feels serious about it.
	Yeah.
	And I love when he talks about going to AA where he's like, so you, uh, Because you go into a church basement and you give everybody your name, which doesn't sound that anonymous.
	And you only give them the last letter because you don't want them to know who they are.
	You know, and then he just, it's just brilliant.
	I don't want to butcher it, but he's like, then you tell everybody, yeah, you blew a dog for a pint of gin.
	He just goes, and who better to trust than a room full of drunks?
	And you know what's funny?
	When I've talked about this before, Norm is a litmus test, because you could be an alcoholic.
	Or someone who's an alcoholism advocate, and be offended by that.
	I'm sure some are.
	Yeah, there are plenty of people who have been.
	Or, you can be like you and say, that's a brilliant way to take something painful and turn it into something funny.
	Norm really tried to push people's buttons.
	These weren't anti-jokes.
	People have sort of misrepresented that.
	They were jokes.
	They just happened to be jokes that pushed your buttons, sort of like an Alice Cooper, and that's why I think they're very similar.
	Alice Cooper learned how to push your buttons, and so did Dio.
	You know, Dio back then talked about imagery.
	He was like, well, how do you think that's satanic?
	How do you know what Satan looks like with that image, and how do you know that that priest is the good guy?
	You're the one who's conferred this meaning to this imagery.
	And Norm Macdonald allowed people to copy-paste what they thought onto him, and so people would be offended or be brought tremendous joy by the exact same bit.
	Something I took from that, too, it was almost like cautionary.
	I was like, oh, well, yeah, I guess at the beginning of the day, if I choose to start drinking, I know you can have a proclivity for it or a tendency to get addicted to things, I get that, but it's like, huh, that guy didn't choose to get cancer.
	There's a slight difference there, right?
	Yeah, and even if we played it for another second, I forgot about the line where he just goes, and I find it easier to talk to people.
	Yeah.
	And you know, Dennis Miller, who was good friends with Norm.
	And I love Dennis.
	And it's funny, you know, Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, Norm, Spade, all friends, and none of them were conservatives when they were younger.
	They all became conservative as they got older.
	I don't know about Spade.
	Maybe he's neutral, but he's certainly not a liberal.
	He's funny as hell.
	I think he's a conservative.
	When he donates millions of dollars in AR-15s to the LAPD, come on.
	Come on.
	But Dennis Miller had a similar bit about relapsing as an alcoholic.
	That's gotta be, that isn't necessarily the worst day of your life.
	Your friend's going, hey, what's wrong with you?
	I got the disease back, man!
	I'm riddled with it!
	Riddled.
	That's why they all, you know, they all experience a level of addiction.
	And I mean, Harley was their good friend who was the prime example of when you take in everything.
	Right.
	You know?
	And I think David Spade is more swimming in his sex addiction.
	I'm just guessing, but Spade is one of my favorite comics, too.
	He's really good.
	Dude, he's a brilliant stand-up and people don't realize it.
	His Last Hour special is one of the funniest ones I've seen.
	You know who also has really great stand-up but doesn't write a ton of new material, but has never done a special?
	It's Bobby Lee.
	Who?
	Bobby Lee.
	Bobby Lee.
	I don't know Bobby Lee stuff.
	I've heard good things.
	You haven't done a special?
	Well, I guess what I've seen are like... Oh, I've done like a 20-minute one.
	Yeah, nothing.
	No, I haven't.
	I want to do a special, but I never... We could do a special.
	I'll do it.
	If you want to.
	I mean, what?
	Otherwise, you want to go to Comedy Central?
	Good luck!
	Well, no.
	I did... This Is Not Happening 17 years ago, and This Is Not Happening is any time I've asked for a special.
	Right!
	No, we could, look, hey guys, comment, we could do it, we could, I don't know how we would do it, we could release it on MugClip.
	Look, when we show up at SMU McFarland Auditorium, it's what, 2,400 people, people have been turned away, I guarantee you we can tape a special and find a way to distribute it.
	There's no reason to wait for anyone else to do it.
	I'll be in Dallas at the Majestic in February.
	Well, no, no, no, we need a planet.
	Well, that would be a plan.
	The point is, I'm not giving them commission fees to the Majestic.
	You guys should rent out your own theater and do it.
	Yeah, no, maybe it could be at the Majestic, but yeah, but I just want to figure out what's best for you, what you would be happy with, and how we can distribute it.
	Would you guys love to see Dave's special out there?
	Dave is obviously...
	Obviously, Dave is great at what he does.
	He's very good.
	He's a very good stand-up comedian.
	And I would readily, I would say, of course, I did stand-up.
	And I had started acting before stand-up.
	And so my stand-up was very performative.
	And really, after this show, my stand-up improved.
	And then when I was in Grand Rapids, I pretty much just stopped because...
	They wanted me to do bringer shows after I'd already done the Just for Laughs and these other shows.
	I was like, ugh.
	But it's because you moved to a new town.
	So anyways, I always got really stressed.
	Dave is a great stand-up comedian.
	Dave's shows are all a little different because Dave is great stand-up, but he is the best person thinking on his feet, as you can see in this show, of anyone I've ever seen.
	Anyone that I've ever seen.
	And I don't think that's an insult to you when I say Norm Macdonald, funniest man who ever lived.
	No!
	Nick DiPaolo, to me, probably one of the funniest stand-ups.
	I think he is.
	And then, but quickest on their feet is you.
	Well, thank you.
	And I haven't seen all of your stand-up, though, because every time if I want to go to one of your live shows, then I get mobbed.
	I've noticed that.
	Yeah.
	So I don't know.
	People like to... They like you.
	They like to touch you.
	They like you.
	They do.
	They like to touch and give me... They like to give me food and cigars that I could never, ever trust.
	No offense.
	No offense.
	It's true.
	It's not the best idea.
	Maybe with a gift certificate.
	A cigar is so easy because the wrapper is so thin just with a needle.
	I know.
	I smoked one of the cigars the guy told me to give you and I shit my pants and woke up three days later.
	In Tijuana.
	Yeah, it was something.
	Okay, and this is one thing, too.
	I have a long history in talking about Norm Macdonald.
	I think we have a clip here, just so you can kind of see how important of an influence.
	We actually got a stand with Norm trending, because they tried to cancel Norm Macdonald, I think it was two years ago.
	Maybe it was three years ago.
	And this is when everyone had turned on him.
	He had always been my number one guest I wanted to get on the show, my white whale.
	So here's kind of a timeline.
	Just so you can see how much he's meant to the show and his presence has been known even though he's never been here.
	Let me state this emphatically.
	Norm Macdonald is the most important voice in all of comedy today.
	Period.
	Bar none.
	The reason that hashtag I'm with Norm, which is what I'm calling, is so important, he's not just a comedian, he's a veritable authoritarianism weatherstick.
	He's a comedian with the single most stellar track record for using comedy to shine a light on the real taboos of our time.
	To simplify, if Norm Macdonald is pushing back against something, that tells you that it's wrong, whatever it may be.
	This is, for me, the lion in the sand, because this is somebody who has consistently risked it all, he has consistently been right, he was consistently praised for it, until all of a sudden, he's done it with the wrong people.
	This is why, hashtag, I'm with Norm.
	This is shocking because no one says what Norm says.
	Because it's really easy to go up and make jokes about Christians in New York.
	It's really easy to go up and make middle Americans seem stupid.
	So because no one says what Norm says, it's shocking because all of a sudden being a Christian more right wing is more taboo.
	We talked about that in what was edgy and comedy.
	Everything you just did was character assassination on myself and Norm.
	People booed him.
	He didn't get the joke.
	I didn't say any of those things to you.
	Being a political pawn cause, number one.
	Product sales coming second.
	Network loyalty coming third.
	And then it could be argued, maybe on a good day, comedy coming in fourth on the list.
	And when you contrast that with comedy of yore and comedians of yore like Norm Macdonald, well, I think Norm himself said it best.
	You know, if you really want to be really funny, then that's what you want to do.
	You want to think, what would make Seth Meyers laugh?
	That's how I live my life.
	Next one, we were writing this bit, we couldn't get away from it sounding like Norm Macdonald in our head, so we're going to do this as a Norm Macdonald joke.
	All right, Harry, let me get in.
	All right, so today is the birthday of, you know, both Michael Jackson and Ingrid Bergman.
	One captured the hearts of millions in her portrayal of Isolunde in the classic film Casablanca, a film some have called the apex of cinema.
	The other was a homosexual pedophile.
	Well I've felt that way about Conan when he's had comics on, even Norm one time.
	He's like, how long has this been?
	And he doesn't know that Norm sets these things up and then reels you in.
	Is that when he had the Beverly Hills 90210?
	You'll have to do a movie with Carrot Top, because it should be called Box Office Poison.
	That was one of them.
	Yeah, Colin kept interrupting him, and I'm sitting home going, will you let him?
	It's obviously a bitch, you know what I mean?
	It was the same episode, you know, it got cancelled back then, and I mean actually they banned him from The View because he said George Bush had just become president, and he said, yeah, you know, it's good to get a good guy in the White House, you know, getting murderers out of the White House, you know?
	And then, what murder?
	He goes, oh yeah, Bill Clinton, didn't you know?
	He killed a guy.
	And they banned him for life.
	But in that same show, he talked about going to the Friars Club.
	He talked about going to the Friars Club.
	And this was on, I remember watching with my dad.
	I just, I love Norman McDonald as a kid.
	And I'm watching with my dad, and I remember sitting there crying.
	He says, you know, I go to the, I don't know if it was a Friars Club, but it was something like that, where I get invited to this, you know, club, you know, and, uh, they, uh, they tell me, you know, you're going to go there and hang out.
	It's kind of, you know, you know, Barbara, it's a roast.
	Right?
	And, uh, but then I realized, you know, when I get there, there's all these old comedians, but not like good comedians, not like Bob Hope or Milton Berle, you know, like, uh, like, uh, Frank Travolina, you know?
	And then I realized, I said, like, hey, this guy over here, uh, you know, someone asked me if I wanted whiskey or something, and he goes, he can't have any.
	You know, and I realized that every joke is, uh, about me being a homosexual man.
	You know, and I'm not a homosexual man, as you well know.
	Says the Meredith Vier.
	Right away, she's stunned.
	And he goes, but I realized that's how they, you know, these old-timers decided to do it, so I, uh, I turned over to, uh, uh, Frank, I think, I think it was Frank Trevelina who goes, I turned over to Frank, and I said, uh, you know, uh, he likes, uh, having sex with guys, you know?
	And all he did was, he, uh, he looked at me like this.
	That was all he did.
	You could hear a pin drop.
	I had to shorten it, but I realized I said he can't drink whiskey.
	Yeah, no, he's not a fan of the ladies.
	I realized all the jokes I'm playing, I'm a homosexual man.
	That reminds me, in 2018, they tried to cancel Norm.
	What was that for?
	Do you remember that?
	Actually, we have that, we're talking about that here in a little bit.
	You know, yeah, we can just go to that now.
	That was when Louis C.K.
	found himself in hot water.
	Oh yeah.
	And here's the thing, with Louis C.K., and look, I think that, look, Louis C.K.
	is a well-known kind of liberal in some aspects, and he didn't really stand up for people who needed defending at some points.
	However, I think we need to draw the line between him, for example, Aziz Ansari.
	Aziz Ansari is a woke social justice warrior who's called for the scalps of other people.
	I don't think Aziz Ansari sexually assaulted anybody, I read that story.
	We need to separate from the Bill Cosbys of the world and the bad dates.
	Louis C.K., you could argue an abuse of power.
	And I've joked about this on this show.
	You have to go way into the archives, past even Harrison Greenbaum, about him masturbating in the green room.
	It was well known in the comedy community.
	The accusations against him were that he would service himself in the green room and ask women to watch.
	But there weren't people who were saying that he, like, blocked the door.
	They were added, though.
	That was added later.
	That was added later, yeah.
	That was added later, but the idea was they felt uncomfortable and it was an abuse of power.
	And it is!
	And it's weird.
	However, everyone sexually is into stuff that maybe someone else might consider.
	The point is, no one wants your sexual details revealed To the world.
	Yeah.
	Now in my case, it's entirely monogamous with one woman, and so whatever it is, can't be that embarrassing.
	In his case, it was with as many people who would watch him fap in the green room.
	But comedians started calling for his scalp.
	Yes.
	Louis C.K.
	And Norm was one of the few people who stood up and defended him, and that's when people came after Norm.
	So I think we have that clip.
	Comedians have gone up against Louis.
	Comedians have said this guy should not be able to ever perform again.
	But it doesn't mean you can't forgive or it's impossible to forgive.
	I also don't feel anyone owes me an apology in public.
	You know?
	Um...
	I think personally that you owe an apology to anybody that you did ill to.
	You owe an apology to people that your actions hurt in a financial way or an emotional way.
	But nobody owes me an apology, you know.
	That used to be called Yeah, sure.
	But he talks about forgiveness, too.
	It seems like that's a concept that we've forgotten in society.
	Yeah, there used to even be a redemption that was part of society, and now we don't want that.
	We just want to destroy.
	Right. It's just sacrifice after sacrifice. Yeah. Well, real apologies and you know
	contrition too I guess is the start of that and we don't see a lot of that we
	just see like oh well. Well and it's who does Louis CK owe an apology to? I mean
	if anybody, okay you said yes, you let him do what he did, it is what it is, maybe
	it's regrettable now and maybe you should apologize for that but at the
	same time you know to act like people are powerless when Sarah Silverman and
	Janine Garofalo and all these other comedians that come forward for Louis,
	you know you have people, extremely liberal like you said.
	Sarah Silverman kind of backtracked though.
	Yeah, well, yeah, I guess.
	I guess.
	But I mean, she still took a more noble stance than some open-mikers.
	Right.
	Yeah, I know.
	That's the problem.
	It's all these open-mikers who go after them, who just want to sort of... And this is also what you're seeing right now with Norman.
	I think everyone should obviously honor Norman, him passing.
	But now you have people who were on the other side of these issues.
	In opposition to Norm, now I've been like, oh yeah, I thought he was great!
	And he has been one of the biggest influences on this show, period.
	I used to tell people, when people used to say, and if you look at some of the jokes that we've written or that we've told on the show, you can clearly see the influence.
	David Letterman and John Stossel. That's how I used to describe it to people.
	I would say David Letterman meets kind of John Stossel.
	And then there's a little bit of early Howard Stern and the, you know, sense of humor.
	Norm Macdonald is always, you know, you think he's the funniest person ever.
	Yeah.
	So that would be sort of the four-person mix of what probably influenced this show the most.
	Yeah.
	You've talked about that several times with me, because I didn't grow up watching a lot of comedy.
	I watched a little bit of SNL, and then I just kind of broke away.
	So I saw some of those things about OJ that he said pretty much around the time.
	But you always talked about, like, these are the guys that really have influenced you and this show.
	And I know that's so many people out there.
	I just didn't have that perspective on how much he had done until, honestly, this.
	Well, and you know what?
	And this is—bring me to my last point.
	There is a common thread if you look at not only what we do here, but my biggest influences.
	Okay, let's just take that.
	Norm, David Letterman, John Stossel.
	What one thing have all of them, early Letterman, the common thread that they all, is they all poked their finger in the chest of authority.
	From David Letterman, daring NBC to fire him, or sorry, CBS to fire him, right?
	Showing up at the GE studios there with fruit baskets and then kicking him out of his own office.
	Norm Macdonald poking his finger in the chest of NBC.
	You can't tell Michael Jackson jokes.
	You can't tell OJ jokes.
	Well, I guess you should watch.
	And then he did it.
	John Stossel.
	John Stossel was reviled at ABC.
	John Stossel went against the grain and went from consumer reporting to reporting on government corruption.
	And whether you like what we do or not, look, YouTube and Google is the most powerful company that's ever existed.
	Number two through five would be Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Twitter, right?
	So that's the authority.
	You think that the media is fans of us?
	So there's always been an influence for me.
	I've just always found it funny when someone, the jester, pokes fun at the king.
	And that, whether I realize it or not in the formative years, is also what turned me into a problem child.
	But not in the sense of, you know, I wasn't doing drugs and stuff like that, and I wasn't, like, harming people, but I had a strong sense of justice, but I had no respect for authority if I thought it was ill-gotten.
	Which is wrong of me!
	Don't get me wrong, but like, I would just, like, you'd have, in my report card, Pleasure to teach.
	Pleasure to teach.
	These were teachers who I respected and disruptive and or abusive in class.
	That's a comment.
	And I was like, well, yeah, that teacher's an actual communist.
	And I'm not just misusing it.
	She says she's a communist and it works beautiful in theory.
	And so every time I go into drama class, I take a big gold Steven shit on her.
	My dad was like, you shouldn't do that, but it's drama class, it's your views, I mean, come on!
	Here's some quotes though, too, from Norm, defending free speech and criticizing sort of the modern, like you're talking about modern comedians, he says, if you can tell me one funny socially relevant joke, I'd give you a million dollars.
	Comedians, when they get really good, and nowadays they don't even have to get good, reach a point where they feel they should be philosophers.
	I've heard it said even that the modern day philosophers are comedians.
	I read modern day philosophers!
	I'm sure they're insulted when they're compared to people who work in smoky nightclubs and hit on waitresses for a living.
	If you're watching a comedian on television, he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
	Which is ironic because he would do it, but he would do it through comedy.
	Yes.
	In other words, you have to read through it.
	He would do it in a way that was funny as opposed to someone like a Trevor Noah or a Stephen Colbert.
	Well, he's saying just making the point.
	Yeah, just making the point.
	Not making the joke.
	Yeah.
	Where they've decided that is their most important, you know, modus operandi.
	That's why I never have a point.
	The model used to be, admit wrongdoing, show complete contrition, and then we can give you a second chance.
	Talking about the forgiveness.
	Now it's admit wrongdoing and you're finished.
	And so the only way to survive is to deny, deny, deny.
	And that's not healthy.
	It's not healthy because there's no forgiveness.
	And that ties up, I think, everything that makes Norm, Norm, right there in that comment.
	What do you have?
	You have the point of view of someone who obviously thinks that comedy should be funny, and he thinks that, or at least he used it to poke fun at authority, and he thinks that, he doesn't use the term cancel culture, he's more articulate in this thing, cancel culture!
	He's saying it's wrong to treat people this way, and the reason it's wrong is because We have a society where we're looking for scalps.
	There's no forgiveness.
	And where does that stem from?
	Where does all that stem from?
	That stems from a worldview of Norm MacDonald that he has a job to do, and his job is not to go out and have a pity party over his cancer, which I think a lot of us would have liked to know how much time we had left with him.
	But this is how Norm lived his life.
	Whether you liked it or not, his job was to be a comedian.
	You only got to know what he wanted you to know about him.
	And he wanted you to know that he thought we were heading down the wrong path.
	In the entertainment industry, in comedy, and a big reason because of that is because we've lost the forgiveness of someone, who someone and an influence was very important in his life, of God.
	That's where that worldview comes from.
	Without God, the Lord shaped hole in your heart, Larry King, there can be no forgiveness.
	And I just think that Norm Macdonald, when people come out and just show one or two jokes, really miss and under-appreciate who he was, what he did, and the mark that he left, not only on this show, not only on this little world, but the world as you know it, in a bigger way than maybe you realize.
	So, let's leave and then go to YouTube.

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