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March 25, 2021 - Louder with Crowder

01:58:15

Crowder TAKES OVER Biden's 1st Press Conference! | Louder with Crowder

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	🎵 Outro Music 🎵 🎵 Water Sounds 🎵
	Are you ready kids?
	SHINE BANDITA!
	I can't hear you!
	Who lives in a swamp right under the sea?
	Who sniffs your aunt's head and won't let her flee?
	Who touches your mom and droves all the kids?
	Be sure not to tell your dad what I did!
	Biden! Graham!
	Or me!
	Biden! Graham!
	GRANDMA!
	🎵Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy🎵 🎵Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy🎵
	🎵You're a strange animal🎵 🎵That's what I know🎵
	🎵You're a strange animal🎵 🎵I come to follow🎵
	🎵You're a strange animal🎵 That's a bad start.
	I'm tired of doing the slurp for you because you're ungrateful.
	It's not even morning, really.
	I always hear those noises at the movies.
	Yes, well, that's the last time you go to the Pee Wee Herman Theater.
	What's his name?
	I always forget his name.
	Paul Reubens.
	Paul Reubens.
	By the way, Dave Landa had not seen the Biden grab house, so he was positively tickled.
	I was laughing very hard.
	This is our Because We Are All Children.
	This is our first livestream of an event this year.
	We were planning on doing it.
	We were planning on doing it, just like we had done with the debates in town halls.
	But there have been no press conferences with Joe Biden.
	We've been waiting with bated breath.
	And I'm not going to burn all my powder on Saki.
	No.
	No, not the Saki.
	You can't fight someone who doesn't have a soul.
	It's like dueling with the immortals.
	So, today we do have a promo code for you where you get $20 off Mug Club.
	Promo code DEMENTIA.
	Also use the hashtag.
	By the way, we're not insinuating anything.
	No.
	It's to raise money for those who watch Mug Club who may have dementia.
	It's an acronym.
	And the hashtag is Crowder Biden Stream.
	We're going to be watching the live, I guess it's not really a town hall, it's a press conference.
	This shouldn't be an event.
	It really shouldn't.
	It's a news conference.
	It should be a common daily occurrence.
	However, it is not.
	And we have a drinking game, right?
	We do.
	We have a drinking game so that you can watch along with us.
	So when you see any of these words, can you read them, Gerald?
	Shot in the arm.
	Or seven shootings in seven days.
	Biden gaffes.
	Number three asked easy or leading question.
	Number four, Biden tells a blatant lie.
	Number five, Biden stutters.
	And you hear this ding!
	That means that it's time for you to get sloshed.
	And of course, Dave Landau, he doesn't drink.
	No, I'm in recovery, but this would even kill an alcoholic like me in my bed.
	So be safe out there.
	Yes, yes.
	And by be safe, we mean join Mud Club.
	What can we expect today?
	Look, this is what I think we can expect, okay?
	And then we're going to go through a couple of clips, a couple of montages, and then we'll have a long post show for you.
	If you could bring up CNN in that lower third so people can see that they'll be watching it along with us.
	Post-show will probably be longer than the press conference.
	I expect it to be shorter.
	The average press conference with Donald Trump was about an hour.
	I expect this to be half an hour to an hour.
	I expect him to talk about migrants.
	I expect him to of course talk about mass shootings and try and push HR 127.
	And of course we expect him to obviously try and tout I expect softball questions, I expect him to kind of bounce back and forth, and nobody to call him on any of this stuff, right?
	I don't think reporters are really doing their jobs very well.
	What by the way of Gerald a quarter black Dave Landau you can follow all of them. What do you expect here today?
	I I expect softball questions. I expect him to kind of bounce back and forth and nobody to call him on any of this
	stuff Right. Yeah, I don't I don't think reporters are really
	doing their jobs very well right now We are seeing some start to ask probing fascinating insight
	captain, but Love guy Gene shallot who shaved his mustache and ate a
	bunch of cake Great!
	Who is that?
	It seems to me that the chasm between Biden and the population widens, which is why we need a press conference, and I don't know how to finish this rhyme because I'm about on par with Biden intellectually.
	It's old Josh Gad.
	Yes, it's old Josh Gad.
	From the future.
	I predict a freeze, too.
	I predict that at one moment he's just going to go, Yep.
	He's going to lose the trainer and he's not going to be able to get back on.
	At his first address, he mispronounced the first word, which was tonight, and he said to-light, but it's not just that he said to-light.
	Well, he thought he was coming to the light.
	He didn't think he was, he was.
	Then they stabbed him with an EpiPen full of norepinephrine, like Sherlock Holmes with Watson's dog.
	Tonight!
	Sucked him right back into reality.
	Someone get me a can, I need to sniff it like a smelling salt.
	Tonight!
	Breaks its neck.
	I want to get to a couple of quick clips just so you guys have some context.
	Here's the lie too.
	Jen Psaki tried to say that this is actually... He's done 40 Q&As.
	He's done 40 press conferences and Q&As since the beginning of his presidency.
	Here's the clip.
	That's a lie.
	You mentioned last week that the president is expected to give a formal press briefing
	before- Press conference, yeah.
	Yes, before the end of the month.
	So that is a commitment before, in the next few weeks, we will see him and take questions
	and follow-ups and so forth.
	He has done about 40 Q&As since he took office, but in terms of a formal press conference,
	which I understand there's a big focus on.
	Yes, we will have one before the end of the month.
	Because he's the president.
	Now what she is including, by the way, is every single time Joe Biden has interacted
	with the press, including when he fell on them.
	So, just to be clear, this is how they lie.
	But the media, just you saw that report from the Washington Post reporter telling people not to ask tough questions.
	You guys can, in the control room, can bring that up.
	I don't think we have it prepared.
	They're including interactions, when they say 40 Q&As, this, none.
	There have been no press conferences.
	She is including interactions like this montage.
	Thank you, Mr. President, for your confidence.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Now we're going to get down to business here.
	And, uh, Ron, who am I turning this over to?
	Thank you very much, Mr. President.
	I think it's time for our friends in the press to leave now.
	Thank you.
	And that was a double whammy, because he was trying to say, who am I turning over and look for an eight-year-old.
	Why is he only wearing one mask?
	Thank you very much.
	What a dick.
	Give a wave.
	I see him.
	Yeah.
	And we also have Donald Trump.
	We need you.
	He's saying, I see it!
	Like a child who's proud that he jumped off the high dive.
	Did you see me?
	I used the gift of sight!
	I'm not such a loser after all!
	It's not one of those mall stores that looks like it's ran by terrorists.
	Or the purple suit store.
	Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
	Or the purple suit store.
	Yes.
	I'm happy to take questions if that's what you're...
	Or classy with two Ys.
	Oh yeah.
	And a glitter dress.
	Yeah, so even the examples that they use, they don't trust him.
	That was riveting.
	At all.
	And the next thing we'll get to is a thing that you guys just added really quickly.
	So the PR team, because we're running a little late today, and like I said, we will have a long post-show.
	So we're playing the drinking game.
	The promo code is dementia, not implying anything.
	Crowder Biden stream, if you watch this on social, we'll try and just sort of dip in and out
	because we know that you want to watch this and this is the only way to make it palatable,
	but we also want to provide some insight.
	And then live fact checking afterward, Biden's PR team, this is overlay D,
	they released an article at CNN.
	That's also just, think about that.
	Biden's PR team at CNN released an article, okay.
	Okay.
	Saying that Biden has been getting ready for days to face the White House Press Corps,
	as he has before in other major public appearances.
	Nope!
	Biden has taken home briefings book, uh, home briefing books containing policy questions and framing for potential answers.
	Biden's three ring binders are typically, or, by the way, Romney's were full of women.
	Three Ring Binders are typically organized by topic, with tabs separating... Anyway, the whole point is they're trying to say he's prepared, and actually, I wanted to hit this before because... He's got a nice catrapper keeper.
	I just want to point that out.
	We have an exclusive, actually, Lider with Crowder, exclusive footage of his preparation for these.
	We will show you the process of making the Lider.
	I had not seen that.
	That's really good.
	I really do.
	I hate my father.
	Love is hop so well.
	Closer.
	Really quick before we move on, you might wonder why Dave Landau looks like he's put
	on a couple LBs, like a fat pride model.
	It's actually Spartan Armor is a wonderful sponsor of the show where we carry their bulletproof
	vest and they're also stab proof.
	By the way, some of you people are saying you need the coating on it so the fragments
	don't.
	They actually do have that.
	You can go to SpartanArmorSystems.com.
	Don't stab him yet.
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	We need Garrett to get the long shot.
	Cut yourself.
	It is a real knife.
	in stab stab Dave show them that it's a real knife cut yourself no wow I wouldn't
	it's a real knife it's real stab Dave give it a little more juice
	Give it some power.
	How you doing, Dave?
	I'm good.
	Alright, good.
	Rehearsal made my jacket red.
	SpartanArmorSystems.com, you get 10% off using the coupon code CROWDER.
	And just to be clear too, they're also NIJ certified.
	A lot of other places say they're NIJ equivalent, which means...
	Nothing.
	It actually helps your posture and it's comfy.
	It's comfortable.
	That's because we fit in a scoliosis rack for you.
	Oh, thank you!
	We're used to wearing this from Detroit anyway.
	Yes, that's right.
	This is how I go grocery shopping.
	Poor taste, Dave.
	Especially, we can't joke about grocery stores anymore.
	No, that's true.
	I'm sorry.
	Son of a bitch.
	I've got a lawsuit with Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and now Publix?
	No, there's no Publix in Detroit.
	Burn in hell, Dave Landis.
	No!
	There's Kroger.
	Yes, there's Kroger.
	There's Whole Foods.
	And keep in mind, too, with what are you expecting?
	I know you just want to hit Joe, but what do you really expect of Biden?
	I think he'll shit his pants.
	We may not know it, but I think he's going to be wearing at least two masks and two diapers.
	You have to watch for the facial expressions.
	He'll at least shart to the point that he'll be thinking about it.
	He'll be like, did that go all the way?
	Yeah, it'll be at the front of his mind.
	He always tries to act flippant when he has no leg to stand on.
	Come on, look.
	You know what we're going to do, okay?
	We can't.
	We've got to be careful.
	Okay, look, come on, come on.
	People say that.
	Please.
	That's what he's going to do.
	And he's going to try and act as though there haven't been mass shootings, that there isn't a migrant border crisis surge.
	And a lot of people might be asking, look, why is he so, well, oh wait, did we already do this, the montagee?
	Yeah, we did.
	Okay, here's something else that I wanted to say.
	He's already running late, by the way.
	Two minutes late.
	That's a shock.
	It's supposed to be at 12.15.
	So he hasn't done any press conferences.
	This is unheard of for a president.
	Nothing even close to one, by the way.
	No, nothing even close to one.
	Not a legit Q&A.
	The time where he even thought... Did you ever see The Last Emperor?
	Yes.
	With Peter O'Toole, where when he wants to actually take some actions as emperor, they're like, no.
	That's him when he's like, I'll take some questions and they just usher him out and put him in the stocks.
	That's pretty much what's been happening.
	He thinks that he can do more than they know he can't.
	And so why do we think he's been so reclusive and not actually been communicating directly with the people?
	Maybe because of the interactions that he has had in the past, they've been like this.
	I think that's Montage B. No, you think I'm kidding.
	It's almost not there now, but anyway.
	His leg goes floppy there, which worries me.
	Honestly, no joke, it seems like it could be a stroke or a broken ankle.
	Now when President Harris and I took a virtual tour of the vaccination center in Arizona, not long ago, a lot of people don't know how to register.
	Not everybody in the community, in the Hispanic and the African American community, particularly in rural areas that are distant and or inner city districts, know how to use, know how to get online.
	Like he's still figuring it out.
	No!
	By the way, he was talking about, I love how he said African Americans and Hispanics and
	then just tried to cover his ass, but like in rural communities.
	With Wi-Fi.
	Then he had to come back and he's like, and in domestic areas.
	You know, come on, man.
	They don't all have iPhones.
	Some of them, they're still using sidekicks.
	Your name's Cardi B and people call me Joby.
	We could be related.
	I like your talk of your going down on things.
	And you know, the thing is, it was disturbing for a long time because I spent hours today You know, I'm not sure.
	I couldn't find Cartier.
	There's no Cartier.
	There's Cardio, which the doctor says if I do it, I will certainly perish.
	To light!
	There it is.
	Ah, President Kabbalah.
	He's the kind of guy you can't leave the bug zapper on the porch, because you're just going to find him there the next day, stuck.
	He feels like he'd just be a grandparent calling from Florida, and then he would hang up and go, he's not doing well.
	We need to go visit, honey.
	He doesn't have much time.
	Probably wouldn't even have to respond.
	It'd be like your wife goes, hey, how's Grandpa doing?
	And you would just look.
	Yeah.
	Really?
	How many push-ups you want to do here, pal?
	Well, I'm interested to see what he does when he comes out, right?
	When you do these press conferences, you try to lead off breaking news, so you can kind of control the trajectory of the questions and everything else.
	And I wonder if it's going to be, we're going up to 200 million vaccines instead of 100 million, because we'd already almost gotten that from the previous guy.
	I mean, he would actually say something like that on accident.
	We have one ready.
	I think we'll probably have to show it after the press conference because, gosh, for crying out loud, he's five minutes late.
	He's five minutes late, he's still not there.
	That, by the way, is perfectly analogous to Joe Biden's presidency.
	It's like the empty crutch by a fire with Tiny Tim.
	Well, they're probably just making sure he says the right thing, like when they bring up 200 million shots, they're like, sir, we're not talking about Chicago.
	Right.
	Right now, the problem is they're having to talk him down because he's really concerned about the speak and spell.
	Joe, just say what we wrote.
	No, listen, come on.
	I wouldn't lie.
	It's talking to me.
	It knows my name.
	They're showing him the Judge Reinhold Fred Savage scene from Vice Versa to explain how he's gotta answer the questions.
	Don't repeat them when they come into your ear.
	Thank you.
	Salute the Marines.
	Right now he's looking in the Oval Office closet door for Howie Mandel.
	He's lost, trying to find it.
	Where's the power glove?
	We have the montage after this to compare the energy of Donald Trump's press conferences versus what we will see from Joe Biden.
	Also to see how the media would jump on him.
	Look, I always say you have to go into it with eyes wide open and so when conservatives would just complain about the media being biased, I always appreciated that Donald Trump knew it and he went on the attack.
	Ron DeSantis is probably the only other person who I can think of who does it as effectively.
	And conversely, Joe Biden knows that he has a friendly audience with the media.
	He knows they're not going to call him to the mat on the vaccines.
	They're not going to call him to the mat on the border crisis right now.
	And what we need to keep in mind, too, with the border crisis, because it is a crisis, is they will say, well, look at how many people came to the border under Trump.
	That's not the number that matters.
	The number that matters is how many illegal immigrants successfully made it to the border and were released to the interior of the United States.
	I think I have that number here.
	Which page is it there, Gerald?
	Can you tell me?
	For the border stuff, we're talking page 8.
	Page 8.
	Yeah, because this is something I had heard that they were saying in an interview.
	Well, actually, 72% of these migrants are turned away.
	And I don't have nails, so I wish I were abroad.
	It makes it tough.
	Oh, I wish I had a vagine!
	But I guess what I really don't get is for four years we watched every single reporter try to have a gotcha moment.
	Right.
	And that's why I'm wondering, why doesn't it happen now?
	Wouldn't at least one person try?
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay, here we go.
	I got a couple of numbers for you.
	Because this is a border crisis, right?
	They went all in on Trump with kids in cages, which were pictures from Barack Obama.
	So Biden broke the record for most unaccompanied minors, right, in custody.
	3,200, okay?
	So that's one that's significant.
	We have that from CNN.
	The total number of migrant children in custody right now is over 16,000.
	This is something I guess we can show this clip really quickly since he's probably busy doing paperwork and by that I mean wiping with single ply.
	Double mask, single ply.
	And they don't see the irony.
	Saki, if it's a short clip, she claimed that the majority of immigrant families were actually being turned away.
	The vast majority of people who come to the border are turned away.
	Adults, families, single people who are coming to the border are turned away.
	Right.
	So here's a number that I have for you.
	Actually, it's 13% of families are being turned away.
	What?
	Only 25 illegal immigrants were given humanitarian release into the United States and into the interior in October, November, and December in 2020 combined.
	Do you know what it's been now?
	Two months into Biden's presidency.
	So this is the number that matters, not how many are at the border, how many migrants are, you know, knocking to get in.
	Because if we tell them, not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, which also Biden can't grow despite being 95, it doesn't matter.
	It's irrelevant.
	Do you know how many have been released into the interior of the United States just in 2021?
	10,000.
	What?
	10,000.
	We went from 25 to 10,000.
	10,000.
	10,000.
	I say for every family that gets in, we send in a senator.
	We just throw our trash back over the fence.
	Or just people that's like, hey, listen, we appreciate that you sent Jorge and Paco, and in exchange, Barney Frank.
	Please enjoy his tits.
	Have fun.
	The cartel's like, no, don't go!
	They're voluptuous.
	Don't go.
	Be careful.
	Hey, Bonnie Frank gonna invite you in his basement.
	Only it's not a basement.
	It's like an above-ground pool, only he does weird things.
	He used to be beautiful in Mexico, so he showed up.
	He showed up.
	Now everybody's growing tits.
	It's like it's contagious and shit.
	That's a good thing.
	Those really are something.
	We have FEMA at the border right now.
	I expect him to talk about gun control because, and I expect him to take credit, by the way, for the assault weapons ban.
	Oh, sure.
	I did the assault weapons ban back in the 90s.
	We can do it again.
	Which is an incredible thing to brag about, considering that it did nothing.
	Right.
	As a matter of fact, oh, wait, hold on a second.
	Let's turn up the volume.
	I think he's coming out.
	Former Vice President Joe Biden.
	It is Crowder Biden stream promo code is dementia.
	Hold on.
	He's going to say that he's not coming out.
	Let's bring up the volume.
	Does there need to be more of an effort there to get church leaders, community leaders, and others to get the shot and set a leadership role?
	Absolutely.
	I have these conversations with people every single day.
	Wait, did you see that?
	They didn't cover what that guy just said.
	Can anyone send me a message?
	And by the way, we'll be taking your chat on Mock Club afterwards.
	Does anyone have the raw feed?
	What did he just say?
	CNN clearly didn't want him to be heard.
	He probably came out and said, we apologize, Joe Biden pooped.
	We're trying to clean it up right now?
	The whole process?
	I really do feel like this is a guy who's being ushered from room to room who has no idea what's going on.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, genuinely.
	Yeah, genuinely.
	You know what?
	Here's what's so sad about Joe Biden, is he doesn't have anyone in his life who cares about him.
	His kids, while they're doing crack off their nieces' hip bones, are just using him for their deals, their money.
	You appreciate that, but there's no crack.
	You know, it can't be done off the breasts, which is a common misconception.
	You need a firm surface.
	I think he burns them with a crack pipe like Rick James.
	Or the founder of Kwanzaa.
	What was his name?
	Something like Fred Willard.
	And then he changed it to like... And it was just like, no, you just burn women with soldering iron crack pipes.
	No, that's not his real name.
	That's a bullshit TV name.
	Oh, sorry.
	Ronald McKinley Everett.
	What is his name?
	Ronald McKinley Everett.
	It's a lot different.
	Ron McKinley Everett.
	Yeah.
	Ron Everett.
	Ron Everett.
	Sounds like a Scientologist.
	It does.
	He's the founder of Kwanzaa.
	So yes.
	But his family, his family, his family, he's surrounded by, by, you know, his wife is, his wife's a climber and his kids Couldn't care less because they just want to get some deals that they've never actually earned themselves.
	And so no one is saying, look, Dan, you know what?
	This isn't good.
	They're not taking care of the guy.
	And you know, I will say this, former Vice President Joe Biden, I don't agree with him on much.
	He doesn't know what he believes.
	Truth be told, if you were to tell him about the whole trans and sports thing 10 years ago, he probably would have laughed you out of the room.
	He probably would have said that it's a straw man, a slippery slope intellectual fallacy, and that's what's so sad.
	He doesn't know what he believes.
	He figures this is one of the boxes that he wanted to tick, and so he's finally... Oh, okay.
	All right.
	Here he comes.
	Here he comes, the former Vice President Joe Biden.
	...in which we covered his gaffes.
	Well, never mind.
	Here he is.
	Let's listen to him, the 46th President of the United States, Joseph Robinette Biden.
	I want to give you a progress report to the nation.
	On where we stand 65 days into office here.
	On vaccinations and a few other top priorities for the American people.
	First, on vaccinations.
	On December 8th, I indicated that I hoped to get 100 million shots in people's arms in my first 100 days.
	Drink?
	Drink?
	I hit that goal last week by day 58.
	Shots in arms.
	42 days ahead of schedule.
	Now today I'm setting a second goal, and that is we will, by my 100th day in office, have administered 200 million shots in people's arms.
	That's right, 200 million shots in 100 days.
	I know it's ambitious, twice our original goal, but no other country in the world has even come close, not even close, to what we were doing.
	It's dangerously close to nationalism.
	They're dead.
	Today, we made a historic investment in reaching the hardest hit and the most vulnerable communities, the highest risk
	communities, as a consequence of the virus.
	You, Drake and Rolfe, people 10 years younger than you.
	By investing additional people, billion dollars, in being able to reach them.
	High risk.
	I also set a goal before I took office of getting a majority of schools
	in K through eight fully open in the first 100 days.
	Now, thanks to the enormous amount of work done by our administration,
	educators, parents, local, state education officials and leaders,
	recent Department of Education survey shows that nearly half of K through eight schools
	are open now full time, five days a week for in-person learning.
	Not yet a majority.
	But we're really close, and I believe in the 35 days left to go, we'll meet that goal as well.
	Yeah, because you made sure that no schools were allowed to open under Donald Trump, and now you're like, okay, you can.
	A neighborhood association meeting has more energy than this.
	That's real money in people's pockets bringing relief instantly.
	That's been coming out of our pockets.
	And millions more will be getting their money very soon.
	By the way, he's not allowed to have pockets.
	They sew them shut just in case he loses his match.
	He's constantly looking for his Werther's Originals.
	Since it was passed, a majority of economic forecasters have significantly increased their projections On the economic growth that's going to take place this year.
	They're now projecting it will exceed 6%.
	A 6% growth in GDP.
	That's not because of you, sir.
	No, of course not.
	Of course, yeah, when you try to shut down the economy to win an election, and then you say, okay, you can open back up now, because herd immunity is one hell of a thing, I guess you can take credit.
	Also, 6% growth after crippling everything isn't really impressive.
	It's like 6%, yeah!
	That's very little.
	So there are still too many Americans out of work, too many families hurting.
	Thank you for that.
	They still have a lot of work to do.
	But I can say to you, the American people, Help is here and hope is on the way.
	Could you imagine if Joe Biden said that and he was your paramedic?
	Hey!
	Relax!
	Help is here!
	Get away!
	Don't worry, there's hope.
	Am I going to die?
	Shut up, man.
	Thank you, Mr. President.
	You mentioned your progress on COVID-19.
	I'd like to ask you about some of the other issues facing your presidency.
	One of the defining challenges you face in the coming months is how to deliver on your promise to Americans on issues like immigration reform, gun control.
	Voting rights, climate change.
	All of those right now are facing stiff, united opposition from Republicans on Capitol Hill.
	How far are you willing to go to achieve those promises that you made to the American people?
	Well, I'm going to look.
	Of course a leading question.
	Oh my gosh.
	How far are you willing to go?
	I took office.
	I'll kill them all.
	I decided that it was a fairly basic, simple proposition.
	Oh good.
	And that is I got elected to solve problems.
	And the most urgent problem faced the American people, I stated from the outset, was COVID-19 and the economic dislocation for millions and millions of Americans.
	I got this thing where the little wooden thing goes along a metal... You get it to the end, it's very satisfying.
	Very complicated.
	From my foot doctor.
	Wait, you mean podiatrist?
	You're the pediatrician.
	Yeah, why are you here?
	I want a sticker, man.
	I got a ball and it hits one ball and this other ball bounces and it does it for hours.
	It's crazy.
	I keep thinking I'm gonna catch it.
	We're not?
	Alright, sorry.
	Guns are not a problem.
	or guns or a number of other problems that face the country.
	But the fundamental problem is getting people some peace of mind so
	they can go to bed at night and not stare at the ceiling wondering where they
	lost their health insurance.
	He's just describing himself!
	He lays in bed at night staring at the ceiling!
	He's midnight staring at the ceiling.
	They're not gonna be, they're gonna lose their homes.
	He's just staring into the void.
	Oh, darkness my old friend.
	Where the millions of people are gonna get thrown out of a room because of the end of the world.
	Suicide is failing.
	That softball question seemed like it was kind of fed to him because when we were doing research before the show,
	the CNN article, it was so vague for me.
	I don't know, Nicole, it was so very...
	From the state of bipartisanship to the future.
	Like, this is one of the things that they were saying would come up.
	That's all the guy said.
	It was so broad.
	Yeah, it's totally fed to him.
	We want to work together or they'll decide that the way in which they want to proceed is to, uh, is to, uh, just, uh... That vein coming out from Mr. Bright's eye looks like it's never going to be a problem.
	...continue the politics of division.
	But I'm not going to do that.
	I'm just going to move forward.
	Don't you love how once it's a Democratic president, it's all about unity?
	Yeah.
	Let's work together and get things done.
	If you can't make progress on those four challenges, climate change, immigration reform, gun control, voting rights...
	Well, I plan on making progress on all of them, but that's going to be for the American people.
	You mean making progress?
	Like what?
	Gas prices are up 38% or 40%?
	Huge.
	The last time they were this high was under Barack Obama.
	People say, it's not the Texas freeze, because I was in Arizona recently.
	It's over $5 in California.
	He's made some progress, because he's already made the... The oil market is largely determined, and it's unpredictable.
	It's volatile by speculators, of course.
	And they know that this guy is a guy who will make access to our own reserves much more difficult, so gas prices have gone up.
	Immediately.
	Keystone.
	Immediately.
	Immigration.
	Immediately.
	Record numbers of people being released.
	So, you know what?
	Bomb Syria.
	Syria.
	Okay.
	How about Yamiche?
	This guy's just worried.
	So he's got a list?
	He's trying to not laugh at the name.
	You've said over and over again that immigrants shouldn't come to this country right now.
	This isn't the time to come.
	That message is not being received.
	Instead, the perception of you that got you elected as a moral, decent man is... Oh my God!
	This is the person who got elected as a moral, decent man?
	Really?
	Really?
	This is a guy who had to exit the 1988 presidential race in disgrace.
	racial jungle.
	You won't be seeing these overcrowded facilities run by CPB when it comes to unaccompanied
	minors.
	Well, look, I guess I should be flattered people are coming because I'm the nice guy.
	That's the reason why it's happening.
	What?
	Yeah, you don't have to deal with it, shithead.
	It's the American public who has to deal with it, not only in the form of job loss, not only in the form of obviously feeling as though their states are no longer secure, but they're actually getting attacked.
	If you look at the likelihood of an illegal immigrant, that's a stat they always throw out, oh, legal immigrants commit fewer crimes.
	Of course if they're legal immigrants, because they're on the books, they can be can be deported. Illegal immigrants commit crime at a much,
	much higher rate. Ten thousand in the year of 2021 released to the interior of the United
	States. It's not because you're a nice guy. It's because you're a pussy of January,
	February, March.
	It happens every year.
	In addition to that, there is a... and nobody... and by the way, does anybody suggest that... Oh, so the surge is seasonal?
	You know, it's like a farm... hey, it's like a farm-to-table menu with the thing.
	Do they still make Serge?
	If he means there was a 31% increase at one point in time of people trying to get to the border, sure.
	There was not a 31% increase in people released into the United States.
	The number that matters is people arrive.
	That's why a wall is important.
	People try to come to the country, are they turned away or are they granted access until their court date?
	Again, the number that we have, 25 released in the United States in October, November, December of 2020.
	10,000 in 2021.
	I'm not sure what percentages are for that, but it's got to be more than 37%.
	It's got to be more.
	to be more.
	He did not dismantle all the elements that exist to deal with what had been a problem
	and has continued to be a problem for a long time.
	Well, the president of Mexico said it's your problem.
	He in fact shut down the number of beds available.
	He did not fund HHS to get people to get the children out of those border patrol facilities
	where they should not be and not supposed to be more than two days.
	And by the way, this is why there's a record.
	Just to be clear, this is the problem that they create when they say they didn't get
	the beds.
	Because the point is we shouldn't have policies that encourage unaccompanied minors, by the
	way.
	Sex trafficking used to matter to people.
	That's why we have a record number of unaccompanied minors.
	We have 32 women.
	$3,200 in 2019 compared to $2,600 under Trump, and that was a big year last year.
	Why?
	Because now they're going, oh wait a second, oh wait a second.
	If the kids just don't have an adult, then they can go and then they can send us green card.
	Okay, bye Jorge!
	That's what happens.
	They're sending, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?
	You're creating more hotel rooms.
	For unaccompanied minors, giving them space blankets and dehydrated ice cream is not fixing the problem.
	It's just encouraging families to send more children without any kind of adults to the border.
	That's horrible.
	The families that are coming, we're trying to make out now with Mexico their willingness to take more of those families back.
	That's what's happening.
	They're not getting across the border.
	That's why he's using more cages.
	the border who are unaccompanied children who are moving rapidly to try to put in place
	what they dismantled.
	His vice president cabinet, that were separating the children from the parents, which then
	led to this.
	That's why he's using more cages, has to get his money's worth.
	Right.
	...or either 16 or 17 years old.
	We're not talking about people ripping babies from mother's arms or little three-year-olds
	standing on the border.
	Less than, I think it's one and a half percent, fall in the category of the very young.
	So what we're doing... You haven't seen very young in an eon?
	No.
	So it's the pre-Cambrian era.
	He may have sniffed very young just before he walked out.
	He knows it very well.
	He smells very young.
	Baby butter.
	I went to, for example, I used all the resources available to me, went to the Defense Department, and the Secretary of Defense has just made available Fort Bliss.
	5,000 beds.
	Do you think he has to wind his teeth before he talks?
	Do you think if you throw him off a high story building he has a little pouch that goes...
	You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
	I would.
	Figuratively.
	By the way, do you see something?
	Do you notice a trend?
	Do you notice a trend?
	He's talking about giving stuff to people who are trying to get into this country illegally.
	He's not talking about policies that will actually stop the flow of illegal immigration, which is bad for who?
	It's bad for Americans, natural-born Americans.
	It's bad for legal immigrants, and it's bad for the illegal immigrants themselves, because then they can be abused.
	Then they can effectively be indentured servants, right?
	Well, they are.
	Oh, hold on, she's asking follow-up.
	Hold on, she's asking a follow up.
	There's, immigration is a big issue of course when it relates to the filibuster.
	It is, Buster Goldman.
	But there's also Republican...
	That's a lie.
	Listen, if you guys are drinking at the leading questions, we're gonna die.
	Switch to, uh, water.
	an existential threat to democracy, why not back a filibuster rule that at least gets around...
	Listen, if you guys are drinking at the leading questions, we're gonna die.
	Switch to uh...
	Water.
	Switch to Nappy Light.
	...very well, has backed the idea of a filibuster rule when it comes to civil rights and voting
	rights.
	Don't conflate that to...
	Oh, no.
	Don't conflate that to civil rights and voting rights.
	Look, when we're talking about people not having the right to vote, that's very different from saying, hey, we just want to make sure that we know who you are voting.
	You have an ID.
	It's not hard.
	Let me go through this.
	Where's the vote?
	OK.
	Here's what they want.
	Here's what their bill is really quickly.
	So I'm really pissed at this shit, OK?
	Their bill, H.R.
	1, and by the way, a lot of people get confused because H.R.
	127 is the crazy, absolute bat-shit, crazy gun bill.
	This is H.R.
	1.
	We have all the sources available at lateralthecreditor.com, by the way.
	Allows same-day and automatic registration, expands early voting, prohibits voter ID, Prohibits signature requirement.
	Mandates no excuse absentee voting.
	One absentee ballot application for all future elections.
	What could go wrong there?
	Forces states to accept mail-ins up to 10 days after the election day.
	Allows 16-year-olds to register to vote.
	Or, as Joe Biden refers to them, his romantic interests.
	Mandates districts redrawn by unelected bureaucrats.
	Limits the ability to clean up voter rolls.
	And makes D.C.
	a state.
	What do Republicans want?
	Voter ID, and if you're voting mail-in, that you have a reason for it.
	That's about it.
	If you're saying that's racist, you're a racist.
	It's literally weeks and weeks and maybe even months before anybody pick up the phone and
	call to see if there really was someone there.
	Talking about his grandkids?
	Yes.
	Well, we've set up a system now where within 24 hours there's a phone call made as that
	person, that child crosses the border.
	And then a verification system being put in place as of today to determine quickly whether
	or not that is a trafficker being called or that is actually a mom, a dad, and or a close
	relative.
	Bye.
	They're establishing that right off the bat.
	If it in fact is mom or dad, dad says to take the extreme case, I got a birth certificate.
	Then guess what?
	We're getting that kid directly to- You know what?
	This is complicating a problem.
	Look, we have a child, and he's not answering on the voting rights by the way.
	A trafficker can never pretend to be a dad.
	Right.
	It's like, hey!
	Hey!
	Is this Pico's father?
	He flips through the script.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Good enough for me.
	By the way, your son smells lovely.
	Click.
	Here's the issue here.
	Yeah, Pimps never said I'm her dad.
	If they're actually being sent by parents across the border.
	They can be sent back to their parents.
	You don't need to have some caller ID and a mission impossible voice recognition software.
	It's, oh, well, your mom and dad have some splaining to do.
	Why don't you take yourself right on back?
	And that will discourage parents from being shitty guardians and sending kids across the border.
	I'm sorry.
	It is not empathy.
	When you remove law and order from the books, it enables cruelty.
	It always does.
	Let's listen to this guy.
	Cause I just, I'm sorry.
	I don't want you to get caught up in the velocity.
	None of this is aimed at you.
	That's why I have this vest.
	They told me it was for knives and if you went a little mad.
	It used to be required for the filibuster and I had a card to see so I was going to use the statistics but you probably know that.
	It used to be that from between 1917 and 1971 the filibuster existed.
	used to be that from between 1917 and 1971 the filibuster existed, there were a total
	of 58 motions to break a filibuster.
	Keep in mind that they tried to ram, I don't remember if it was the public option or Obamacare, through with filibuster.
	Okay?
	Taking over a fifth of the economy with filibuster.
	I don't remember if that's what they did, or they just did something, they piecemealed it.
	They ended up using reconciliation.
	Oh, that's right, they tried to use it through reconciliation.
	Well, they had to, because there was a filibuster that there wasn't a filibuster.
	Sorry, there was a filibuster, but there was some other, you're right, there was something else, though.
	That they did something with Obamacare.
	Could have been an addendum to it or an earmark.
	I don't remember exactly.
	There was a filibuster.
	The point is they used it like crazy.
	They used it like crazy when they've had control.
	What I like about the Obamacare is how all my liberal friends were furious they had to pay for the insurance by force.
	And now they're championing this guy and getting mad at me where it's like, didn't you scream at me for a while?
	My whole thing was I thought the pre-existing conditions may have gone a little too far because I have the, you know, I think the insurance companies were screwing people over for that.
	They were just angry that they had to pay $60 as a fine.
	Oh, I'm surprised it was that low.
	Well, it depends where you were at.
	Particularly my fat friend who won't leave me alone.
	And so, I'm going to say something outrageous.
	I have never been particularly poor at calculating how to get things done in the United States Senate.
	So the best way to get something done is to hold near and dear to you.
	I mean, if you don't look at my track record, I'm pretty good.
	Anyway.
	Oh, he couldn't finish his thought.
	Anyway.
	Drink!
	Drink, he's getting tired.
	And if we have to, if there's complete lockdown and chaos as a consequence of the filibuster, then we'll have to go beyond what I'm talking about.
	What are you talking about, sir?
	Nobody knows.
	Hang on.
	Lost his train of thought.
	By the way, getting rid of the filibuster.
	Wow, yeah, that's a good point.
	Little Kim?
	Did he just call him Little Kim?
	Thank you Mr. President.
	To follow up on the filibuster.
	Being abused in a gigantic way.
	Don't you love how everyone has been a minority?
	Well they have to.
	What was the question?
	Would you end it with 51?
	Something about ending the filibuster still.
	You're going to have to.
	The existing rule.
	It's going to be hard to get a parliamentary ruling that allows 50 votes to end the filibuster.
	the existence of a filibuster. But it's lost my expertise in what the parliamentary rules
	You've been in the Senate forever!
	Who's in to this?
	Your expertise is claiming credit for bills where you didn't even vote.
	The filibuster is there to make sure somebody can't just ram through their own policies against the will of the American people.
	again that's three times in a row drank filibuster especially by the way i'm
	gonna die the filibuster is there to make sure somebody can't just ram
	through their own policies against the will of the american people it is there
	to make sure on controversial issues you have to get 60 You just listed the reasons that people are coming, talking about in-country problems, saying that it happens every year.
	You blamed the last administration.
	Sir, I just got back last night from a reporting trip to the border, where I met 9-year-old Jose, who walked here from Honduras by himself, along with another little boy.
	He had that spell on him.
	And we were able to call his family.
	His mother says that she sent her son to this country because she believes that you are not deporting unaccompanied minors like her son.
	That's why she sent him alone from Honduras.
	So, sir, you blame the last administration, but is your messaging and saying that these children are and will be allowed to stay in this country and work their way through this process encouraging families like Jose's to come?
	First decent question.
	Yes. Yeah. The idea that we Wow. Wow. Wow. You took it.
	Hunter, can you put down the crack pipe for long enough to help your dad?
	Get your dad out of here, it's not working.
	Seriously, I feel bad for the guy.
	I really do.
	Except Trump.
	I'm not gonna do it.
	I'm not gonna do it.
	That's why I've asked the Vice President of the United States yesterday to be the lead person on dealing with focusing on the fundamental reasons why people leave Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador in the first place.
	Because they're shithole countries.
	It's because of earthquakes, floods.
	Yeah, people are leaving El Salvador.
	If I'm not mistaken, it's El Salvador has the highest murder rate in the world.
	Not industrialized world, because that's a lofty goal for them.
	It's in the world, period.
	And I think Honduras is right up there.
	Mexico is pretty high.
	I think Mexico City might be the worst city, but I'm pretty sure it's El Salvador is the country with the highest murder rate.
	They have 401Ks for kidnapping over there, and you believe it's because people get a little dewy?
	It's the floods, okay?
	I tend to walk a couple of thousand miles because of a flood, too.
	Well, they've wanted to see a white Christmas.
	That's why they come to the U.S.
	Tired of it being so hot?
	I want to come here to see your Statue of Liberty, to meet your Bing Crosby, and also to not be raped for days on end without mercy.
	Instead of us going down and helping in a major way, so many people do not have a reason to want to leave.
	Because they have a cold, they have to skip us.
	Really?
	Yep.
	El Salvador!
	Wow.
	Sometimes I amaze myself.
	We're gonna do a lot in our administration.
	We're gonna be spending that 700 plus million dollars a year.
	Just so you know.
	To change the life and circumstances of the white people, even in the first place.
	Like people will be confused.
	No, the other worst country ever.
	Oh, you're looking for Salvador Biggie?
	There's no more.
	We killed him, huh?
	We are now.
	El only Salvador.
	Why would you let a nine-year-old walk through Honduras?
	On top of it, what a crafty nine-year-old.
	I mean, maybe we could use him in the States.
	Get all the way here by himself?
	Again, throw back our trash.
	Gosh.
	To have to take.
	I couldn't even put a tent up when I was 9.
	So we can do something about that.
	That's what the Vice President is going to be doing.
	What I did.
	When President Obama asked me a common deal.
	I was in Turkey at the time.
	He said you gotta come home and take care of this.
	So we put together a plan and it had an impact.
	And so the question here is whether how we go ahead and do this.
	What we do.
	There's no easy answer.
	No specifics, by the way.
	None.
	Do you want to see these unaccompanied minors staying in this country, or should they be deported eventually?
	Well, the judgment has to be made whether or not, in this young man's case, he has a mom at home.
	There's an overwhelming reason why he'd be put in a plane and flown back to his mom.
	Free travel, huh?
	Does he have spirit points?
	Hey, why don't you just put them in all the hospitals?
	They already have COVID and those are empty right now.
	None of them are at capacity.
	The Customs and Border Protection facility in Donna, Texas, I was there, is at 1556%
	capacity right now with mostly unaccompanied minors. There are kids that are sleeping on floors.
	They are packed into these pods. I've spoken to lawyers who say that they-
	Hey, why don't you just put them in all the hospitals? They already have COVID and those
	are empty right now. None of them are at capacity. There was a big boat in New York.
	You could put them in. Nobody ever went to them.
	Put them in and send them down to Snake Island off Sao Paulo, Brazil.
	That's going to be fixed.
	There's lots of arenas here.
	Not the children.
	Drug cartels.
	Right.
	Send the drug cartels to Snake Island.
	That's why we're going to be moving a thousand of those kids out quickly.
	That's why I got Fort Bliss opened up.
	That's why I've been working from the moment this started to happen to try to find additional access for children to be able to safely, not just children but particularly children, to be able to safely be housed while we follow through on the rest of what's happening.
	That is totally unacceptable.
	The most humane thing to do would be put them on a bus or a plane immediately back like the revolving door in Elf.
	They shouldn't be sitting there for more than half a day.
	It should be, oh, no, you're not, sorry, you're not a citizen, bye.
	...of U.S.
	troops from that country.
	As a candidate in foreign affairs, you wrote that it is past time to end these forever wars.
	Can you commit to the American people that by May 2nd, the U.S.
	will no longer have forces in Afghanistan?
	No!
	Didn't he bomb Syria within, like, two days?
	Remember there was that peace in the Middle East thing?
	Oh, remind me, remind me, write it down.
	I have a story about an Iraqi cab driver, Uber driver, on the way back from the airport, and it's a shocking statistic as to how many Middle Eastern, American, whatever, people from Iraq and the United States support Donald Trump because of the peace that they had for four years.
	Every Uber driver I had in New York was probably Middle Eastern and many were from Iraq and told me that.
	Yeah.
	And they're really scared about what's going on with Biden.
	And by that, I mean all of them.
	Yes, yeah.
	...consultation, I said, with our allies and partners, and how to proceed.
	And Secretary Blinken is meeting in Brussels this week with our NATO allies.
	Did you just say Abe Lincoln?
	Particularly those who have forces there.
	And General Austin has just met with Kayani, and I'm waiting for the briefing on that.
	He is the... Absolutely, an intern sent in a modem or something.
	I need to calm my nerves.
	There's a UN-led process that's beginning shortly on how to mechanically get people, how to end this war.
	But it is not my intention to stay there for a long time.
	But the question is, how and in what circumstances do we meet that agreement that was made by President I guarantee you, by the way, if Donald Trump was still president, they would be out by May 2nd.
	be worked out to begin with. How's that done? But we are not staying a long time.
	By the way, was it three peace deals with Israel under Donald Trump?
	Yeah.
	Three? How many deals?
	Unprecedented.
	So, assault weapons deal. You've done no deals. You don't even know how to coupon shop for
	a deal.
	I guarantee you, by the way, if Donald Trump was still president, they would be out by
	May 2nd. He sets those deadlines and says, we're gone.
	You forget Biden did the deal between Pfizer and Merck, right?
	Yes, that's true.
	Which actually isn't true, Trump did that.
	Joe Biden couldn't find a deal if you gave him a shop and save, a 10% off Bed Bath & Beyond coupon, and a map.
	He couldn't find a deal at Big Lots, and they got lots of big deals.
	He'd turn up paying full sticker price, full MSRP, for something he didn't even want.
	The plan, very shortly, is underway to let you have access to- At 2021 F-150 with a Lando roof.
	To be able to have access to the facilities.
	We've obviously been allowed to be inside one, but we haven't seen the facilities in which children are packed together to really give the American people a chance to see that.
	Will you commit to transparency on this issue?
	I will commit to transparency.
	And as soon as I am in a position to be able to implement what we're doing right now.
	Right after we get the kids out of there.
	One of the reasons I haven't gone down.
	Once it looks pretty good, I'll show you.
	Look, look.
	The thing is, we have one, you've been in the one room.
	The other, you ever seen Blazing Saddles?
	It's the town.
	It's cardboard.
	That's not real.
	Now!
	Access now!
	That's freedom of the press.
	I've noticed that the reporters that appear to be possibly Hispanic, I want to say possibly, seem a little bit more passionate than the others about this topic.
	Yeah, a little bit.
	A little more, dare we say it?
	Passionate?
	I like that.
	Did you roll back quite, I'm sorry?
	I've got 10,000 reasons as to why yes.
	We're gonna police the C's.
	What?
	back some of the executive orders of your president.
	Yes they did.
	Rolling back the policies of separating children from their mothers, I make no apologies for
	that.
	Those were policies under your vice presidency.
	Rolling back the policies of the children of the land in Mexico sitting on the edge
	of the Rio Grande in a muddy circumstance with not enough to eat.
	I make no apologies for that.
	I make no apologies for ending programs that did not exist.
	Is that a reference to the John Wayne movie?
	Hey, do you make any apologies to the record number of women who've been raped and people
	who've been killed on the southern border in towns like El Paso?
	Do you make apologies to them?
	How about them?
	I don't think he's going to apologize for his son.
	So I make no apologies for that.
	to ask you about foreign policy, Mr. President.
	Overnight, we learned that North Korea tested two ballistic missiles.
	What if any actions will you take, and what is your red line on North Korea?
	Someone take that bitch's lanyard!
	Let me say that, number one, UN Resolution 1718 was violated by those particular missiles that were tested.
	Oh, what are you going to do about it?
	We're consoling with our allies and partners.
	And there will be responses if they choose to escalate.
	We will respond accordingly.
	But I'm also prepared... That's a far cry from fire and fury like they've never seen.
	Remember when everyone said that Donald Trump was too cozy with Kim Jong Un?
	Because he actually crossed over that border right into North Korea for the first time and met with them, and he went there to make a deal.
	And when Kim Jong-un did not meet the deal, Donald Trump came back, called him Little Rocket Man, and said if he does anything, he will be met with fire and fury like he's never seen.
	Guess what?
	No more tests!
	And all of a sudden now it's kind of popping back, they're doing tests.
	She's asking another one.
	I'd be more vocal, I'm just so scared.
	Is that how you assess the crisis in North Korea?
	Yes.
	By the way, I think he just agreed with Trump.
	Yeah, pretty much.
	That was not a one-word question, sir.
	Oh, no.
	You know, his answer was, we'll do some stuff, and when we do the stuff, the stuff will happen.
	It'll happen.
	It'll happen.
	Let me hear the questions, guys.
	...across the country are working to pass bills that would restrict voting, particularly Democrats' fear of impacting minority voters and young voters and very people of health.
	Elected in November.
	Are you worried that if you don't manage to pass voting rights legislation that your party is going to lose seats and possibly lose control of the House and the Senate in 2022?
	What I'm worried about is how un-American this whole initiative is.
	It's sick.
	It's sick.
	Deciding in some states that you cannot bring water To people standing in line waiting to vote.
	Deciding that you're going to end voting at five o'clock when working people are just getting off work.
	Deciding that there will be no absentee ballots under the most rigid circumstances.
	Not true!
	It's all designed and I'm going to spend my time doing three things.
	One, trying to figure out how to pass the legislation passed by the House.
	Number one.
	Number two, educating the American public.
	The Republican voters I know find this despicable.
	Republican voters.
	The folks out in the Outside this White House.
	I'm not talking about the elected officials.
	I'm talking about voters.
	Voters.
	Who vote for the elected officials?
	And so I'm convinced that we'll be able to stop this because it is the most pernicious thing.
	This makes Jim Crow look like Jim Eagle.
	This is gigantic!
	Wait, wait, wait.
	What they're trying to do.
	I have no idea.
	And it cannot be sustained.
	Is that a reference to something that's swinging in the 20s?
	I'll do anything in my power, along with my friends in the House and the Senate, to keep
	that from becoming a law.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	He hasn't hit number three.
	Is there anything else?
	Nope, you're free.
	What did I tell you?
	Call me Nostradamus, bitch.
	He had three things to remember, he forgot one, and number two was all a lie and a reference to, I assume, a quarterback to the age of when they had leather helmets.
	An eagle is bigger than a crow.
	Jim Crow?
	Jim Eagle?
	Makes it look like Jim Dodo Bird.
	It's Jim Pterodactyl.
	Makes it look like Johnny Flamingo.
	Huh?
	Flamingo Kid?
	You know Matt Dillon?
	You know what I'm talking about.
	Wow.
	Joey Blue Jays, you know.
	They want 16-year-old... Let's do this math, okay?
	Really quickly, before we go to this.
	10,000 people.
	10,000 people, illegal immigrants, released into the United States, right?
	In 2021.
	10,000 people, and they want no voter ID.
	And they want 16... He just said the majority of them aren't 3, they're 16.
	Well, guess what?
	Their bill?
	16-year-olds registered to vote!
	With no necessary identification.
	Do that math.
	How many states, border states, were within 10 to 20?
	That's only in two months.
	In a year you know it'll be what?
	20?
	40?
	100,000?
	Yeah.
	Arizona?
	Nevada?
	These were within 10 to 20,000 votes.
	Yeah.
	It was very close.
	All of them under the name Jim Eagle.
	Yep.
	We should have seen it.
	There could only be so many Jim Eagles.
	No, why'd you write Bob Hawk?
	I don't know.
	We all agreed he's one bird of prey!
	But I got the Hawkeye.
	I think I've ever shoot a little bit gets blown off because one like no, why'd you why'd you write Bob Hawk?
	I don't know. We all agreed. He's one bird of prey, but I got the Hawkeye. Oh, no, you don't you have glaucoma
	Hey, what about a falcon?
	Don't start with your falcon shit again, Jorge!
	But I train them.
	You and your falcon helmets.
	Did you write to Jacob Peacock?
	Well, then you ought to take a look at his party.
	Over 50% of them must be over that edge as well.
	Because they support what I did.
	Right now he's holding up the size of Jim Eagle's package.
	Where am I here?
	I plan to be alive in 2024.
	Yes, that is correct.
	That's the plan.
	Yeah.
	Thank you very much, Mr. President.
	I have a question for you, but first I'd like to follow up on a question from Yamiche, and that's on the filibuster.
	That counts as a question, but go ahead.
	Okay, I'll make it quick.
	It's a quick question.
	Let me smell your hair, I'll let you go again.
	Regarding the filibuster, at John Lewis' funeral, President Barack Obama said he believed the filibuster was a relic of the Jim Crow era.
	Do you agree?
	Yes.
	If not, why not abolish it if it's a relic of the Jim Crow era?
	Did you hear my joke about Jim Eagle?
	I referenced that.
	Successful electoral politics is the art of the possible.
	Let's figure out how we can get this done and move in the direction... Now come over here, you sick-jacketed, flamenco, Herbal Essences, beautiful bitch.
	I like that those buttons are placed on your nips.
	Reminds me of Barney Frank.
	We sent him to El Salvador.
	Haven't seen him in a while.
	Pink on the outside, pink on the inside.
	Eliminating the filibuster, is that correct?
	I'm doing it as him.
	It's a character.
	I answered your question.
	What?
	You also just made some news by saying that you are going to run for re-election.
	I said that is my expectation.
	Could be dead.
	Is that a yes that you are running for re-election?
	Look, I don't know where you guys come from, man.
	I've never been able to travel.
	I'm a great respecter of fate.
	I've never been able to plan four and a half, three and a half years ahead for certain.
	Oh, and you're running the country?
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Did you just say he can't plan ahead?
	Yeah.
	And he basically told her, I can't answer this question because there's such a thing as actuary tables.
	Right.
	It's like, I can't be expected to plan ahead.
	Come on, I'm the president.
	Oh, come on.
	Why would a president run for two terms?
	I had no idea.
	That's crazy.
	I had no idea it would be a Republican Party.
	Do you?
	I know you don't have to answer my question, but I mean... Are you getting spicy with me, turtle shell nipple girl?
	The way I view things, I become a great respecter of fate in my life.
	I set a goal that's in front of me to get things done for the people I care most about.
	Yeah, stuck to them by wages being driven down through illegal immigration.
	Stuck to them by having their businesses shut down and not being able to work.
	Stuck to them by not being able to put their kids back into school.
	Stuck to them because they have a horrible economy, they have an immigration problem like they've never seen, and by the way, you want to take their guns away.
	And you don't give any press conferences because you don't see the American people fit to communicate with you.
	So, and being attacked in the street because you've convinced them if they don't wear a face garb that they're somehow killing you.
	Right.
	Do you hear them complain when they passed close to $2 trillion Trump tax cut?
	83% going to the top 1%?
	That helped the economy?
	No, by the way, it didn't go to the top 1%.
	Again, you're just talking about total numbers.
	The vast majority, just to be clear, we have this too, someone can bring it up, the vast majority of people under Donald Trump with those tax cuts pay less.
	Yeah.
	Now look, here's the thing.
	If you make a billion dollars, and you're paying slightly less of a percentage of a billion dollars, but you're making $70,000, and you're still both paying less in taxes, this is the problem with the left.
	It's not that it's dishonest, although that is also a problem, it's that it preys on humanity's worst vices and evils.
	Jealousy, greed, fat pride, gluttony, Right?
	Unearned accolades and awards.
	Illegal immigration.
	Or maternity flight suits.
	Or lowering PT standards to join our armed forces.
	I just had a Biden moment right there.
	Let's continue with what he said.
	I'm sorry, I've been talking for too long.
	Dignity, honor, honesty, transparency to the American political system.
	How about letting them see the cages first?
	Bullshit!
	Bullshit!
	Fuck you!
	Hey, how about this?
	That's a regurgitation of the guy who, you know, obviously he does his cup check for him, Barack Obama, when he said, you didn't build that.
	Again, he's pandering to people who think, oh, I can't do anything without a union, by the way, who 99%, if I'm a member of the SEIU or Electrical Union or Teachers Union, 99% of our donations go to Democrats.
	I can't do anything without a union.
	What about the small business owners?
	What about the right to work stage, which, by the way, is an increasing trend?
	You want, just like Barack Obama told business owners, you didn't build that because, through your tax dollars, we incredibly efficiently, might I add, built roads for you, so technically you should thank the government.
	And right now he's saying, technically, you can't make it on your own.
	It's not your own merit, at least not the system that I want in place.
	So thank you, Union.
	Average Americans, the average American saw a salary increase, an increase of earnings.
	The average wage went up by $5,000 in three years.
	We can factor that, bring it up later on under Donald Trump.
	Under eight years of Obama, $1,000.
	And he started with a terrible, he started down.
	Of course.
	And just had nowhere to go but up and only got $1,000.
	He cares about everyone but the American middle class who aren't beholden to unions.
	He cares about illegal immigrants.
	He cares about voting bases and purchasing votes.
	He cares about union money.
	He cares about big banks so he wants to lock out people trading GameStop.
	He doesn't care about the average American.
	He doesn't.
	He couldn't care less.
	He wants to cut your wages.
	You've seen the growth under Donald Trump.
	He wants to increase your taxes, and he wants to make sure that you have to compete for jobs in a labor pool with unskilled immigrants who didn't even have to sign the guestbook.
	Oh, and by the way, they can vote as young as 16.
	Looking out for you!
	When he can finish a sentence.
	Sorry, let me hear this double-masked bitch.
	international payment systems.
	Look, uh...
	That's the best you could look today, sir.
	Sure.
	Legitimate questions.
	But the only... I couldn't hear him through the two masks and pube beard.
	A smidgen of what the relationship with China really is about.
	I've known Xi Jinping for a long time.
	Allegedly, by the time I left office as Vice President, I'd spent more time with Xi Jinping than any world leader had.
	Because President Obama and the Chinese President Hu decided we should get to know one another.
	And he's on first.
	Which is inappropriate for the President of the United States to spend time with the Vice President of another
	country.
	But it was obvious he was going to become the new leader of China.
	And how did that work out for the American worker?
	How did that work out for the American worker with that cozy relationship with China and the Trans-Pacific Partnership?
	Worked out well for him.
	Got some good business deals out of him.
	Yeah, of course.
	I mean, Hunter Biden.
	He's more of an opium guy.
	well yes, yeah not him.
	He's more of an opium guy.
	Yes.
	In fairness it's for his legs that break when he walks upstairs.
	Or pets a dog.
	President Glass.
	Stutter.
	And by the way, these aren't stutters.
	These aren't actual stutters.
	He never had a stutter.
	No one talked about a stutter until... These are inabilities to find his thoughts.
	The problem with everything is it becomes corrupt, even the same with unions, and that's the sad thing.
	I think that they started in a very, a very noble thing.
	Oh yeah, where they're like, your kid, who's fuckin', sorry, who's twelve, fell in a meat grinder.
	What are you, six?
	Butt him in that hole!
	We need to make sure that people aren't working seven days a week in a factory where they lose an arm on a conveyor
	belt.
	Oh, yeah, where they're like, your kid who's fucking, sorry, who's 12, fell on a meat grinder.
	What are you, six?
	Butt in that hole.
	It was tasty.
	Yeah.
	Why does this have a young man's nail in it?
	It's fine, eat it.
	But then Jimmy Hoffa was like, hey, let's loan all this money out.
	I don't know where he is.
	This is to you.
	Actually, I think I told you, I tell you that my step-grandfather, who was mayor of Bloomfield Township, saw him at the, whatever it is, the Fox, whatever.
	Yeah, the restaurant, it's still there.
	He was there that day.
	Really?
	Yeah, when he saw Jimmy Hoffa.
	Oh, wow.
	Sorry, let's go.
	I think he was incinerated into metal for cars.
	That's my... He's in Fort Knox.
	You think Fort Knox?
	Guys, let's stop getting off track.
	We have to listen to former Vice President Joe Biden.
	Sorry, I got bored.
	Back in the 60s, we used to invest a little over 2% of our entire GDP in pure research and investment in science.
	Today, it's 0.7%.
	I'm going to change that.
	We're going to change that.
	The future lies in who can, in fact, own the future as it relates to technology, quantum computing, a whole range of things, including the medical fields.
	And so, what I'm going to do is make sure we invest... Is that a dog bark?
	What was that?
	A bit of a cough.
	Major just attacked a small child on a tour.
	Yeah, it just came back.
	The new one's even worse.
	We're going to invest in medical research, cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, industries of the future, artificial intelligence, quantum computing, and we're going to make real investments.
	China is out investing us by a long shot.
	Because their plan is to own that future.
	It's because it's a communist government where nothing is your own, you dipshit.
	If you want to go from 2 point whatever percent, like you were saying, go back up to it because we're only at .7 percent, where are you going to cut it?
	It's like this idea of balancing a budget doesn't occur to them.
	That only occurs to, sorry, the middle class Americans who built this country.
	You actually have to do some QuickBooks.
	Well, they're just going to get rid of that, though.
	One of the things that I'm going to be doing, I'm going to be speaking with 27... Oh yeah, hold on a second.
	By the way, like I said, it's stab-proof, it's also hatchet-proof.
	It's a real hatchet.
	Real deal.
	Okay, there you go.
	Nope.
	It's still there.
	It is, isn't it?
	Alright.
	Dave, are you still alive?
	That's enough.
	That's enough because I'm just worried about hand fatigue and a miss.
	SpartanArmorSystems.com They're actually N.I.J.
	certified.
	Use the promo code CROWD or you get 10% off.
	Everyone should have them in their house.
	At least one.
	I feel like a ninja turtle.
	Yeah.
	Yeah!
	With a shell, you're like, huh, I'm fit.
	I really do.
	Like, it's comfy.
	I know it's mine.
	You can't even feel it.
	You're ready to fight the foot.
	Who's hitting me with an axe with his bad hand?
	Huh?
	So do you live in a sewer?
	I do live in a sewer.
	Talk to rats.
	You gay old pizza.
	A rat trains me.
	But it's pizza rat.
	Their label is N.I.J.
	certified, by the way.
	The ones that are.
	This one is.
	This one is impressive.
	They offer some less expensive options for people who maybe just want to get into the
	market but don't.
	Because listen, getting that certification is expensive and it also guarantees you quality.
	Alright, let's go back to Mr. Whiteye.
	Are you talking about the place that the World Health Organization refuses to acknowledge
	even exists?
	Next question.
	Next.
	No pretense about not understanding.
	Talk about a Hunter's business trip.
	I pointed out to him, no leader can be sustained in his position or her position unless they
	represent the values of the country.
	And I said, and Mr. President, as I've told you before, Americans value the notion of
	freedom.
	of values, human rights.
	We don't always live up to our expectations, but it's a value system.
	It's rhetoric.
	As long as you and your country continue to so blatantly violate human rights, we're going to continue in an unrelenting way to call to the attention of the world.
	Who is violating human rights?
	He's talking about China.
	He is?
	Make it clear what's happening.
	But he's good friends with them.
	He understood you.
	Yeah.
	He understood me.
	But I wouldn't do anything.
	But you signed agreements that sent American jobs there, reduced our ability to compete, and you said that we should
	trust the World Health Organization, who was doing China's bidding, by the way, and we know what
	happened in China.
	I can't say it on YouTube.
	I can't actually include the World Health Organization screenshots from what they were saying in January.
	So, you know.
	As the last one did, is the moment we began to lose our legitimacy around the world.
	Did he say Momo to lose auto-generacy?
	Is that counted as a drinking moment?
	China has an overall goal, and I don't criticize them for the goal.
	They have an overall goal to become the leading country in the world, the wealthiest country in the world, and the most powerful country in the world.
	That's not going to happen on my watch.
	Did he just say the United States is the wealthiest country in the world, the most powerful country in the world, and that's not going to happen on my watch?
	No, that China wants to be that way.
	Hey, pube beard!
	No, that's not where I make the decision, that's where I make sure we're all on the same page.
	He looks like they shaved the wildlings pubis from Games of Thrones and just glued it to his face in a jackass stunt.
	He also has a good Bam Margera greasy I'm on opioids hair.
	Right.
	That's something I can't chew anymore.
	We're in the midst of a fourth industrial revolution of enormous consequence.
	Will there be middle class?
	How will people adjust to these significant changes in science and technology?
	Look, look, look.
	You had, well, I mean, I know you were a patsy for the higher-ups.
	Eight years, the middle class suffered.
	They paid more in taxes, they made less money, they saw skyrocketing health costs, okay?
	That was, and there were, for two of those years you had control of every single chamber, alright?
	Let's make that clear.
	Then, in three years under Trump, until this manufactured reaction to the pandemic, they had record wage growth, record low unemployment, not only for middle class Americans, but for every demographic race and creed.
	You had eight years, you can compare it with three.
	That's what I'm looking forward to doing now, is comparing this next three years as being generous, but let's go with that for right now because I don't want to be removed, to the previous administration.
	Mr. President, sorry, I know you have another chance to address the tragedies in Georgia and Colorado.
	You had said to stay tuned for actions that you might take on gun control.
	Here we go.
	Wondering if you've made a decision either about sending the manufacturer liability bill that you promised on day one to Capitol Hill.
	By the way, that means that if someone gets shot, they can sue a mom-and-pop gun shop.
	That's ridiculous.
	Just to be clear.
	Even if they didn't sell the gun?
	Even if they legally sold a gun and someone happens to shoot somebody.
	So it's the Michael Moore blame Kmart for Columbine technique.
	As a matter of fact, Bernie even voted against that and that's why he only got a D minus from the NRA as opposed to an F like every Democrat.
	Order it.
	Decide on priorities.
	What needs to be done.
	The next major initiative is...
	And I'll be announcing it Friday in Pittsburgh, in detail, is to rebuild the infrastructure, both physical and technological infrastructure, in this country.
	So that we can compete.
	Oh!
	Oh, great!
	You know what probably happened?
	He probably got some poll results that said, hey, guns are the losingest issue the Democratic Party has.
	Stay away from it.
	Joe's gonna take me to Pittsburgh.
	Some of you have been around long enough to know.
	I think he just forgot where he was.
	Did he admit that they not coordinate the questions that they're supposed to ask him with his sheet there?
	I still think the majority of the American people don't like the fact that we are now ranked, what, 85th in the
	world in infrastructure?
	I think he lost his place and pivoted to like, we're gonna launch an infrastructure plan.
	What is he talking about?
	The best airports that can accommodate...
	Is he trying to blame infrastructure problems on people going out and shooting bridges?
	I think he lost his place and pivoted to like, we're gonna launch an infrastructure plan.
	If someone can let me know in the chat, those who are muggable, to be talking with you afterwards.
	Yeah, maybe we missed it or something.
	Yeah.
	He said Colorado and Atlanta.
	You promised a gun bill.
	Look, here's the thing with Donald Trump, the things that people don't like about Donald Trump, all of the qualities that people disliked were the opposite of this because he was a dog on a bone and he would repeat himself ad nauseam because he wanted to lay into the report.
	Like, no, excuse me, excuse me, actually, we're not, we're not, we're not the top country in mass shootings.
	No, excuse me, look, if you actually look at the countries, okay?
	We're not the top one, excuse me, because of all the countries.
	There are top countries that are not us, okay?
	No, excuse me.
	And I know you like to say that we're the top.
	I know that you love, you would love to say we're the top, right?
	Well, that's not true.
	We're not one of them.
	He would do it.
	He'd just keep going, yeah.
	He didn't lose his train of thought.
	No.
	He stayed on it and these things went four hours.
	Biden can't last.
	No.
	He's still talking about infrastructure.
	They asked him about the slaughters in Georgia and he's like, oh Pittsburgh's got a nice airport.
	Yeah, well I mean at the very least he could be like my thoughts and prayers are with the families and the victims like he could have started with that but he pivoted immediately to where am I?
	Infrastructure.
	We'll talk about that.
	You can't hold a train of thought for long enough to say a prayer.
	Still have lead pipes servicing their water lines.
	Our father, Lartin, dammit!
	We have over 100,000 wellheads that are not capped.
	He looks like he would be the conductor on a ghost train.
	Just pull up.
	What are we doing?
	And by the way, I don't know what we're doing.
	What am I doing?
	He'd be like, uh, I don't know if it was a Canadian show, but he'd be like if after they rotated George Carlin and Ringo Starr in Shining Town Station, they'd bring in Biden and the kids go, fuck!
	Yeah, they're like, uh, this guy, Just ringo'd and smile-moed.
	I just find it, um...
	I want to hear the follow-up from this guy, like, Sir, what the hell was that?
	Sir, I was talking about...
	Sir, I was talking about...
	Yes, uh, Mr. President?
	Yes, um, what in the actual fuck?
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry, did you hear me say gun bill?
	Did you hear me say shootings?
	I understand that firearm sounds a lot like bridge.
	No, I understand the infrastructure of a bridge in airports are pretty good.
	Yes, you get it!
	You get it, man!
	You see what I'm saying.
	There's planes.
	There's only one of two answers here, okay?
	And you guys tell me, people sometimes say, well, yeah, look, I do have absolutist thinking sometimes when something like this happens.
	One of two reasons that that just happened.
	Either A, he completely lost his train of thought, he has no idea that the question was about firearms, or number two, he's going to go along with pre-written talking points anyway because they Regardless.
	How many schools where the kids can't drink the water out of the fountain?
	Oh boy.
	I thought he said schools.
	I thought for sure he was going to shootings.
	No, I thought so too.
	Make sure you get us some good questions in the chat, guys.
	Keep going.
	from how many schools where the kids can't drink the water out of the fountain oh boy i thought he
	said i thought for sure he was going to shootings oh i thought so too well in the chat make sure
	you get us some good questions in the chat guys keep going let us know what you think he was
	going for here our kids too don't have adequate ventilation how many schools what are they going
	to they're going to they're doing their kumon learning classes in barney frank's tit basement
	I'm convinced we missed a question or something.
	Did something happen?
	Did we miss a question?
	I don't know.
	Somebody let us know because this doesn't sound like the answer to the question we heard.
	Someone let us know because as I understand it, Pubic Hair Gingerbeard asked about the recent shootings and he started responding about infrastructure.
	Do I have that incorrect?
	Because I would love... He asked about the manufacturer liability.
	That he promised on day one.
	It's not day one anymore.
	Not that he would know that.
	Well, the only time a kid couldn't drink out of a... The chat's saying you guys are right.
	The question was clearly about his intentions on a gun control bill.
	So nobody follows up.
	Show me your nipple buttons!
	of siblings who came in on Monday.
	So nobody follows up.
	Show me your nipple buttons.
	We have contacted the mother.
	That's the only way they know her kids are here because CBE today first of all has not
	contacted that mother.
	So when can we expect your promise of things getting better with contacting and expediting
	the process?
	They're going to get a whole hell of a lot better real quick.
	We're going to hear some people leaving.
	We can get this done.
	We're going to get it done.
	We're going to need the entire team and several cabinet level officers.
	We're going to be moving within the next Within the next week, over 100,000, I mean 1,000 people out of the Border Patrol into safe, secure beds and facilities.
	We're going to significantly ramp up.
	We're already out there contacting everyone from getting some of the employees at HHS.
	There's a lot of them doing other things and move them into making those calls.
	If this is his last question, this is very clearly a recap.
	This is very clearly like, we're going to do a callback question where I get to wrap up everything that I've said.
	I've never seen something more pre-packaged due to a lack of trust in someone's basic cognitive functioning.
	And I've worked with special needs kids at churches.
	And I don't say that as an insult to them.
	It is an insult to them because I just used Biden.
	It's an insult to them comparing him to their cognitive abilities, honestly.
	They'd stun you with math.
	Needs a shot.
	Look, he's looking down.
	Or is he just dipping his ear?
	Where's he going?
	Where's he going?
	Oh, don't do that.
	It makes it look worse.
	Oh my God!
	Oh, he's lost it.
	I hope he slugs her.
	He's talking and there's no mic!
	He just walked up and just, you see a hand go into her frame.
	You know as well as I do.
	You're covered.
	What are you doing?
	Looking for an apple butt.
	I think I smelled finesse.
	Somewhere in... Oh, it's really wearing off.
	Guadalupe said, I got a great idea.
	Let's sell everything we have.
	Give it to a coyote.
	Have them take our kids across the border into the desert where they don't speak the language.
	Won't that be fun?
	Let's go.
	That's not how it happens.
	People don't want to leave.
	That's exactly how it happens.
	Precisely.
	And they do speak Spanish.
	And they do want to leave.
	Right.
	They do want to leave, even though you dislike that Donald Trump said mean things like these countries are shithole countries, allegedly, because they're not as good as the United States.
	The fact is, these countries are inferior to the United States.
	What do I mean?
	In every way, shape, or form.
	Safety, class mobility, income.
	I mean, take your pick.
	Name anything.
	Name any metric for a country.
	No!
	Exactly.
	The answer is no to all of them, so they want to leave and come to the United States.
	That doesn't mean that everyone has the right to the United States.
	You cannot say, hey, we need to do away with nationalism.
	Nationalism is bad.
	Not white nationalism.
	The idea of being proud in your nation, telling people that that is bad, and then say, hey, but no one wants to leave, but we need to let them in.
	Yeah.
	Why would we want to let them into a mediocre country?
	I got a lot of trunk space.
	I could probably make a few extra shillings these days as a coyote.
	And yesterday, I asked my team... A lot of babies.
	By the way, this is right now.
	He said, hey guys, just at the end, let me riff a little bit.
	I'm gonna walk around the microphone.
	If the baby's crying all night, you just shake it.
	Everyone knows that.
	Press the top of its head.
	Just give it a good old... It's the button.
	It's the sleep button.
	The sleep button.
	The good thing is, with every infant that's crying, the top of their head, they have an easy button.
	Yeah, much like me.
	Oh, I want to hear a question.
	...administration with not considering the immigration legislation that was passed in the House until the situation at the border has been resolved.
	No, because I know they have to posture for a while.
	They've sort of got to get it out of their system.
	Speaking of posture, you should start working on yours, Joe.
	Looking like a walking prawn banged Mr. Burns.
	Putting your ear into the microphone to hear better.
	Who wants to help?
	Really something.
	Solve the problem.
	Make the situation better.
	But folks, I'm going.
	Thank you very, very much.
	What?
	That's fascinating.
	Hey, we really followed the general rule of close with your aid material.
	No.
	But folks, I gotta poop.
	Did you see him just staring into the distance?
	That's like watching Cocoon, wasn't it?
	Just a vibrant old man.
	Your wife climbed a lot of trees.
	She climbs one every once in a while.
	All right, hold on.
	Let's see the fawning, by the way, before we go to the live fact check afterwards here at CNN.
	Look, I think by any objective metric, people would have to say that was not good.
	That was bad.
	That was one of the worst performances.
	It's so bad.
	This guy has his eyes shot Kennedy glasses.
	It's so bad, though.
	Donald Trump did one every single day at the start of coronavirus.
	And he would interrupt doctors.
	He'd be like, Dr. Birx, get the hell out of the way!
	This is my stage!
	This is how you answer!
	This is his, like, coming out and going, like, this is why I didn't answer questions before, because I'm this serious.
	What a strong start.
	Yeah.
	It's like, dude, you're drifting ten minutes in.
	He doesn't know what he's doing.
	I really want to see what they say.
	He's imprudent and slow.
	He's like the tortoise and the hare, if in addition to taking a nap, the hare also couldn't run.
	When he said Joey Bald Eagles, I knew he had it.
	I had them eating out of the palm of my liver-spotted hands.
	I am shocked this guy doesn't have at least mustard on his tie.
	I'm just the break.
	You're what they say.
	But this was not somebody who was coming to say, let's go.
	We are going to break down the filibuster.
	I'm going to bash things up in the Senate because priority X, Y, and Z must get through.
	In fact, this was Joe Biden, the same Joe Biden we saw on the campaign trail, the same Joe Biden we've seen governing for the last couple months.
	He calls himself, I'm a fairly practical guy, likes to get things done.
	I was hired to solve problems, not create division.
	And I thought what was most telling... And the last thing you said is Republicans have to posture by not thinking that we send in a record number of illegal migrants.
	He reaffirmed where his position was on those issues, but he said, and I thought this was so revealing, that presidencies succeed by timing your priorities, and how you order things, and how you sequence things, and he made clear his next thing is this Build Back Better infrastructure plan.
	On a gun question!
	This really is Chauncey Gardner, if the garden is healthy, The plant will grow.
	Huh.
	So what you're saying is if we till the soil, what was it?
	What's the name of the guy who was on Dirty Work?
	The dad in that.
	Oh, uh, Jack Ward.
	Jack Ward.
	Jack Ward was the president, right?
	Yeah.
	For those of you who haven't seen Being There with Peter Sellers, it's a special needs guy who's a gardener, and he accidentally becomes president.
	And they ask him, what are you going to do with the economy?
	He goes, well, if the garden is healthy, the plant will grow.
	And they're all interpreting what he said.
	That's what they're doing right here.
	House Democrats can get their legislation through the Senate, which is also very narrowly controlled by Democrats.
	So using the word filibuster sounds wonky and nerdy and guilty as charged, but the issue is, does that mean climate change legislation gets through?
	Does that mean gun control legislation gets through?
	Not.
	And I just want to underline that because it actually means tangible things for people's lives.
	Making sure that we increase the price of gas.
	He got asked a gun question, though, and responded with a talking point.
	It's not okay.
	And you know where that comes from, right?
	That comes from being vice president.
	The last thing he can remember is being vice president under Barack Obama.
	And when Barack Obama came in, he did his whole stimulus initiative of shovel-ready jobs, where it was all about infrastructure.
	That's why.
	He's remembering.
	He's like, it worked for the old colored folk.
	It'll work for me.
	Look at Biden's quotes.
	I can't be racist if I'm actually doing an impression of what would you rather me impersonate.
	7-Eleven, you have to have an Indian accent.
	You know what, it's good to see finally an articulate black man.
	Hey, go ahead, cancel me.
	Where's the wide shot?
	Go ahead, cancel me.
	You ain't black.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Cancel me.
	Okay, let's listen to them here.
	Joe Biden also wants to do voting rights.
	He spoke passionately about that.
	He also spoke passionately about immigration and also about guns.
	If you are up here towing the the line that black people in the United States who in poll
	after poll say of course they can get voter ID if you say it's racist to
	expect them to be able to procure identification you are absolutely disgracing people
	in your community who she claims to represent who have repeatedly
	said no that's not true yeah that's not true and there's
	Study after study after study.
	We did a segment on this.
	It's been debunked.
	It was posted in the Washington Post.
	Every single study after that showed that no one in any community deemed it more difficult to get an ID than a middle-class white person outside of exclusively Spanish-speaking migrants.
	And by the way, these studies didn't account for legal status.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	So one of the things that Ted Cruz pointed out about H.R., well it's not H.R.
	1, yeah it is H.R.
	1.
	He said that if you are an illegal immigrant on government services, if you get a check, you're automatically registered to vote.
	So think about that.
	Automatically registered to vote, and now it's illegal to ask for an ID.
	Wow, so it's like, so hold on a second.
	They get our money and then automatically get to cancel out our vote?
	Yes.
	It's like a multi-ethnic spit roast.
	Yeah, in Texas that's 95,000 people.
	Nice.
	95,000 people.
	Wow, perfect.
	Hey, by the way, we're about to stab Dave Landell.
	Oh, good!
	We have an actual, by the way, show.
	This is a real sword.
	Katana blade, is that what it's called?
	Real sword, katana blade.
	It's a real katana.
	Just make sure you aim it properly, even, Brendan.
	Oh, good, with his... Don't move, Dave.
	One arm.
	Yeah.
	A little harder.
	Come on, give it some juice.
	Just, you know, like, really rare back.
	Get it in there.
	Hey, you know what?
	Can you step back and, like, joust him?
	Yeah, joust him.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You feel any of that?
	That's pretty good.
	No, it's totally good.
	Go on, give him another one.
	The last one just goes all the way through.
	I heard that!
	Give it a little harder, as long as it's accurate.
	There you go!
	SpartanArmorSystems.com, promo code Crowder, you get 10% off.
	I wear them like my jammies.
	They're so comfy.
	I'm going to start wearing them.
	Are they going to bring out the fact check?
	Do we have a fact check, Doc, or do we pretty much all do it in real time?
	They'll bring it out.
	Okay.
	All right.
	We'll have them bring it out.
	Let's watch Tune.
	I felt like he wanted to do that.
	Yeah, he did.
	He really did.
	He actually volunteered.
	Is it because I threw coffee on him?
	Well, it's more so that you didn't blow on it first.
	Well, why would you hand me hot coffee?
	I didn't say that I wasn't complicit.
	I want my coffee Luke.
	...asked the question about a young, unaccompanied minor standing at the border.
	President Biden gave a humane answer, and he said no, he would not turn that unaccompanied minor away.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Didn't he say that he would?
	He said he would send it back to the mother.
	He said he would put him on, in that case, his mother who could be identified, because I remember we made the joke about a drug dealer sounding like a mom.
	Correct.
	He said he would be sent back Can someone rewind that?
	Can someone loop that back?
	Can someone pull that clip?
	Because I'm pretty sure I remember him saying that he would send that person back.
	And now, maybe it's not one of the agreed upon answers in their talking points, and now CNN is saying, no, he gave a humane answer saying he wouldn't send him back.
	By the way, he did!
	It's the one thing I liked about his whole press conference!
	Maybe he didn't mean to say it.
	If you look at the other newscaster who looks like every senator during McCarthyism, he has the facial expression that he's aware that guy is incorrect, but he's just not calling him on it.
	Yes, it's like Jake Tapper can smell farts and he's not allowed to let on.
	They just started!
	making it very clear that infrastructure what he called the jobs
	bill uh... was going to be his next priority for all the time i
	talked about how one in five american roads is in disrepair one hundred eighty
	thousand miles how we rank something like thirty u s rank something
	like thirteenth in the in the world when it comes to infrastructure china
	spending three times as much
	is still developing the willingness among just started with him by the way
	i'm a consenator everything else about china sucks yeah do you think that the
	average citizen of china you know who doesn't live in some kind of a royal
	palace that's been uh... that's been a legacy then do you think they take
	roads for the bicycles that they put ninety pounds of baggage on
	Or do you think they'd take a decent income?
	Or how about the ability to have a Bible in their nightstand without their house being burned with them in it, alive, like the church in Patriot?
	I think they would opt for that rather than paved roads.
	And by the way, I'm pretty sure a lot of them are still dirt.
	You know who cares zero about how much money is being spent on roads in China?
	The Uyghurs that are being killed by the Chinese right now.
	I don't think they care.
	Right.
	Well, yeah, all of them have.
	It's a little bumpy on the way to camps.
	Please don't give them any more sidewalks to Kirby us!
	I like this.
	His name is Man U. Yeah.
	focus on, right? Oh, this infrastructure project, that sounds like a... and this was really
	telling. He said if you prioritize, you can accomplish things as a president. I was just
	mesmerized. That's what that guy was saying and he pivoted to this. And nobody is saying...
	he was asked a question about guns.
	He said nothing to the victim's family that we heard, unless we like missed time, got abducted by aliens and dropped back in.
	Alright, well listen, before we give our wrap up here, I don't know, if we're not going to get the fact check token out, I need it within about one minute, or otherwise it's useless.
	I think I can just go through here.
	But let's just compare that, just mind you, let's compare that Press conference to what we saw from the previous administration who, by the way, Donald Trump did them every day for months.
	And when he wasn't doing them every day, he was still doing them consistently.
	Let's compare what you just saw to the kind of press conference that you would see from Donald Trump and the media treatment therein.
	How do you see your role as a moral leader?
	Mr. President, just how do you see your role as a moral leader?
	There's so many people, I'm sorry.
	As a moral leader, though?
	I think I am a great moral leader, and I love our country.
	Why are you pitting Americans against one another, sir?
	Is that how you view citizens of this country?
	No, I'm not.
	Well, look, I'll tell you what.
	We won a lot of elections last night.
	We did very well last night.
	I think it's going to have a very positive impact.
	Michael Cohen recently said you called black voters stupid.
	That's false.
	Omarosa has accused you of using the n-word, and the rapper Lil Jon has said you called him Uncle Tom.
	What's your response?
	I don't know who Lil Jon is.
	He's on your podcast.
	I don't know.
	Oh, he was?
	Did he fight Ravnood out of love?
	Do you ever use racist remarks?
	No, I would never do that, and I don't use racist remarks.
	Why did you wait so long for last week?
	I didn't wait long.
	I wanted to make sure.
	Mr. President, after three and a half years, do you regret at all, all the lying you've done to the American people?
	All the what?
	All the lying, all the dishonesties.
	That who has done?
	You have done.
	Uh... Yeah, go ahead, please.
	Please.
	I am a young, vibrant man.
	I look at Joe.
	I don't know about him.
	I don't know.
	Young vibrant man.
	Too old!
	Yeah, that seemed like the same kind of treatment.
	Hey look, nipple button lady is back on CNN.
	By the way, maybe put the hair to cover up those ears.
	I asked some questions and the answers were silly.
	Well, you're fired.
	But I wear my hair like Princess Zelda.
	What I like about the Trump conference is how it wasn't nine people sitting in chairs six feet apart all wearing masks.
	Asking questions and making sure going, hey, page four.
	They're standing up like they're selling stock trades.
	Okay, let me do a quick live fact check here.
	So there are a few things that we've already talked about.
	We already talked about the migrant border, sir.
	We already talked about gun control.
	But something that he said that the filibuster is a relic of the Jim Crow era, that's the claim that he made on there.
	Jack Eagle.
	Obamacare was only passed because of budget reconciliation, which prevented Republicans from using the filibuster.
	That's what I was saying earlier.
	Yeah.
	And Biden said, I think we have a clip here, right?
	that Biden said, keep in mind, that he opposed abolishing the filibuster.
	And I know you're going to say, well, hold on a second, are you bringing something up from his disgraced
	presidential campaign in 1988 that he had to cancel due to serial lying and corruption?
	No, no, no, this comes from March.
	Do we have the clip?
	Almost.
	That was a dunk and you guys didn't have the clip.
	Hey look, when I say do you have the clip and you don't, the answer is no.
	Did Dukakis run in 88?
	I don't know who it was.
	I'm trying to remember.
	I think that sounds right, but I could be wrong.
	Was that a Bush-Dukakis?
	You know who didn't run in 1988 anymore?
	Joe Biden.
	He did for a little bit.
	Joe Biden lost to Dukakis.
	Scandals.
	Then Connie Chung just filled the beans and was like, uh, I don't even know where to start.
	There's this guy, Joe Biden?
	Isn't she married to Maury Povich?
	Who?
	Connie Chung.
	She's married to Maury Povich?
	Wasn't she married to Maury Povich?
	Doesn't surprise me.
	Isn't that correct?
	Do we have the clip of him opposing the abolishing of the filibuster?
	I'm gonna seem real.
	We have his communications director talking about it.
	Okay, in March, this is right at the first claim here.
	He wants to work with Republicans, to work with independents.
	He believes that we're stronger when we build a broad coalition of support.
	And look, I would say, look at what we've been able to do in the first six weeks that we've been in office with the filibuster in place.
	We just passed a $1.9 trillion rescue plan that's going to make a massive difference in the lives of people all across the country.
	You know, we've been able to, but we were able to get it done.
	Look, it's a 50-50 Senate.
	We understand that.
	We are going to have to navigate our way through a 50-50 Senate.
	That's the situation that we're facing.
	But you got this done with the reconciliation rules that only require 50 votes.
	I mean, that's how you're able to do this.
	Other bills, you won't be able to do that.
	Well, but we also got it done with the support of 75% of the American people, including over 50% of Republicans.
	You know, American voters who heard President Biden's, heard him lay out his proposal, believed that he had the right approach, that this was the right plan.
	Alright, and this clip actually involves Biden saying he opposes.
	So, it says here, hey, someone in the room there, interns, if you guys want to keep your 25 an hour, which is very much nicer than 15 an hour.
	Take them down to 15, yeah.
	It's the first clip!
	Not Clip H. It's the first one labeled Clip.
	And I remember this clip.
	That's why I requested it.
	Here's another one.
	They claim that... So just send it in there to the page where you know that Tocanawan has access to it.
	It's right here.
	It says Clip.
	They claim that 31% of migrants... There was a surge of 31% under Donald Trump.
	That's another thing.
	We kind of gave you some general statistics, but here's something.
	Wow.
	that is specific, thank you to Troy Jr.
	That actually happened with unaccompanied minors under Joe Biden.
	Last week it was reported that as many as 4,200 unaccompanied migrant children
	were being held in short-term holding facilities.
	That's a 31% increase.
	So even the number they used.
	Oh wow, yeah.
	So he was basically conflating it.
	Right.
	Like, this is terrible!
	Oh, that's me!
	Well, that's actually a good job done, I think.
	Yeah, that's wonderful.
	And by the way, when he was talking about the Middle East, look, he bombed Syria right away.
	So we were coming back from Arizona when I was there with the Mayo Clinic, and we had a driver who was Iraqi, as former President Barack Obama would say, Iraqi.
	He at one point, I like, I said, Hey, sorry guys, I need to pull my mask.
	It was my mask was below my nose.
	He goes, I don't care.
	You can take the mask off if you want.
	I don't believe in it.
	I said, well, you can take your mask off.
	He goes, Oh, it's bullshit.
	The mask was only need COVID is over my friend.
	It's over because the election is over.
	You know, you know, I said, well, what do you mean?
	He goes, listen, I am from Iraq, okay?
	I served in the armed forces alongside the American military in Iraq, okay?
	And we, for four years, had peace in our country.
	And now, that's over.
	That's it.
	That's over.
	I used to hate America.
	I used to think I hate America until I came here.
	Now, I say, well, hold on a second.
	How many of your relatives or friends who are Middle Eastern from Iraq do you think?
	He goes, before Trump was president, 90% hated him.
	Now it's 80% agree with me because I am right.
	They know that I am right because they had peace for four years and they said, okay, we've never had this.
	Yeah.
	I mean, from the party who is anti-war, who protested the Vietnam War like they had no other thing to do in life, they sure are willing to stay in wars.
	And not willing to make a commitment.
	You know what Donald Trump did?
	He put out a goal, like a leader does, and says, figure out how to make this happen because on May 2nd, the bases will be empty, don't give me any bullcrap, get it done.
	And it happens.
	With Biden, I don't know how to do it.
	Oh, this is another one.
	I didn't know the actual number, but I'm glad that we got it.
	Biden said that everyday Americans built America and unions built them.
	By the way, I don't know if Washington and Jefferson... I don't know if they were in the Carpenters Union.
	I'll have to think back to you.
	Maybe John Adams because he liked his pipe.
	Biden killed at least 11,000.
	11,000 union jobs alone in the Keystone Pipeline.
	Yes, but that gave us higher gas prices.
	Don't you understand?
	And he said he wouldn't do that in the campaign.
	People in Pennsylvania right now are really happy that he supports unions because they can't afford to even pay their dues anymore because they don't have jobs.
	I'm sure they're happy.
	And Dr. Levine killed their grandparents.
	Ah, yes.
	That's true.
	And like I said, yeah, the middle-income, middle-class income average, up 5,000 under Donald Trump, only 1,000 under Obama.
	This is one where they're saying, oh yeah, we have this clip, I love it, straight from the, I'm trying to think, I can't say horse because it's racist, I'm saying straight from the would-be beautiful and brave migrants mask.
	The immigrants, Joe Biden said, are coming because, you know, he's a nice guy.
	No, he didn't say it.
	The reporter said, that's how you were seen, what, as a humanitarian?
	You were seen as a decent man, right?
	BuzzFeed boldly.
	She said, that's why you were elected, because you were seen as a decent, a good man.
	And he said, yeah.
	And a man that whittles on his front porch and accidentally stabs himself with a knife.
	Yes.
	And then he forgets to train his dog, so he attacks kids on a White House tour.
	I told you, don't go in the West Wing!
	Cujo's there!
	Well, you know, did you have to name him Cujo, Joe?
	That was kind of... It's foreshadowing!
	Steinbeck did it!
	So, she said that they were coming because he's a decent man.
	I think we have the clip right here from an illegal immigrant themselves saying that, of course, they knew that Trump wouldn't let them in, and this is why they're coming now.
	Would you have tried to do this when Donald Trump was president?
	Definitely not.
	Definitely.
	So did you come here because Joe Biden was elected president?
	Basically.
	Basically.
	He can't be expected to know.
	He's Mexican.
	Biden seems to have no understanding that his policies made it likely that people would be able to come here, get into this country, and not be forced to leave.
	Yeah.
	Donald Trump knew how to keep people out.
	You show up at the border, we're sending you back.
	If you're a criminal, you're getting put in jail.
	If you commit a crime and you're an illegal, we're sending you back right after you serve your sentence, baby.
	Or you're going to a Mexican prison.
	It's almost as though if you stop punishing crime, more people will commit such crimes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's too complicated for Joe.
	He can't take that.
	Well, we'll draw on the back of a children's menu.
	Well, I don't buy it.
	And by the way, his own porter czar, Roberta Jacobson, admitted that the policies were driving smugglers and criminals to cross the border.
	It's a coincidence that as soon as Trump and his immigration policy were on the way out, and Biden and his stated policy were on the way in, this historic surge at the border started.
	Well, first of all, one of the things I think is important is we've seen surges before.
	Surges tend to respond to hope.
	And there was a significant hope for a more humane policy.
	Why is she smiling?
	I know!
	That's not a good thing.
	I don't know whether I would call that a coincidence, but I certainly think that the idea that a
	more humane policy would be in place may have driven people to make that decision, but perhaps
	more importantly, it definitely drove smugglers to...
	Why is she smiling?
	I know.
	That's not a good thing.
	Express disinformation, to spread disinformation about what was now possible.
	We know that.
	And in fact, if the change in administration is brought home, then from your perspective,
	is this good?
	She's a sociopath.
	I don't think that's what I just said.
	I think it's a reflection of how migrants feel at a particular time.
	Well why do you think they feel that?
	It's gonna send more smugglers.
	And so ladies of El Paso, I hope you like uninvited penetration.
	Can you imagine working in communications in the White House trying to like push over the security to get in the room and take her off the map?
	Take the mic away!
	Secret Service agents are playing.
	Oh, Turkeybeck is talking again!
	No!
	Get her off the mic!
	Oh, she's laughing about it, too!
	Oh, no!
	She's laughing about smugglers!
	Does she think that's an important voting demo?
	She's just excited because there's a chance she's going to be touched again after ten years.
	Even Joe Biden stopped grabbing my buttons!
	It's why I wore this yellow jacket.
	That's a really poor placement of buttons, by the way.
	The first two colors to draw attention are black and yellow!
	That's why I dressed like a school bus!
	Look at me!
	I look like I have the flock of seagulls!
	Now!
	Oh my gosh.
	Do you guys remember Bananarama?
	By the way, you mentioned the COVID.
	Let me just hit this briefly.
	All the COVID success, it all comes from Donald Trump.
	Just to be clear, 1.3 million vaccines were delivered in January.
	He was doing a million a day.
	America's already on track for 100 million in 100 days.
	Biden said he could do 200 million in 100 days.
	Well, again, thanks to Donald Trump, he's halfway there.
	He hasn't increased it dramatically at all.
	I also love that, you know, the only answer he had on the border crisis Do you plan to visit the border?
	Not today.
	do it. Yeah. You know, Kamala's gonna do it. So listen, if she's
	in charge, let's hear what she has to say. Yeah.
	Do you plan to visit the border?
	Not today.
	But I have before and I'm sure I will again.
	It's so crazy.
	She's haunting.
	And by the way, thanks for letting us know.
	Yeah, it does turn out we weren't wrong.
	We thought... Here, Joe Biden is... The one thing that he does really well, and then I want to go to what, you know, your recap.
	He's so crazy, he makes you think you're crazy.
	Yeah.
	Because we're all sitting here going, wait.
	True.
	They asked a gun question, right?
	Yeah, there's no way.
	But then you're going, there's no way that the sitting president of the United States would answer a gun question with... A bridge answer?
	A bridge answer, right?
	We must have missed something because we locked Naval off and we were having many.
	So there must be something that we missed.
	So that's a skill.
	Joe Biden is so insane that he makes all of us question our own train of thought.
	And you know what?
	Maybe he really is playing 12-D chess.
	I don't think so.
	No.
	No.
	Four squares.
	Okay, before, what are your thoughts, Gerald, on how this went?
	So I'm not surprised by Joe Biden, obviously, right?
	We all thought that he was going to have a difficult time doing an actual press conference.
	I'm also not surprised by the questions because we thought it was going to be softballs.
	I am shocked that nobody else called him on the gun question thing.
	I am, I mean, just absolutely shocked.
	And also, the other thing that the press was just screaming about was like, the press has to be freed, right?
	You're suppressing the press under President Trump.
	Yeah.
	They said, when can we go into these facilities?
	And he's like, well, whenever we could make it look better.
	I swear to you, I'm not quoting verbatim, but he's like, well after a few days when we get people out of there and things will be better, so when can we go in?
	Well, I'm not sure yet.
	We gotta bleach the sheets and get some Charmin in there.
	Don't bring a black light.
	Yeah, when I can make this situation not look bad for me, then I'll let the press in.
	That's what Joe Biden- Which, by the way, parallels this very press conference.
	It's when I think I have enough to sort of- I'll finally do a press conference in a very measured, controlled way where I give you the questions that you can ask me.
	And he still couldn't find a spot.
	Right.
	Well, and the other, the last thing that I was surprised about was that, and I told you this was probably what he was going to come out with, some strong policy thing to kind of take the trajectory of it in that direction.
	He came out with 200 million vaccines.
	Like you're building, it's like, oh, we're going to do a hundred million.
	You get in there like, what?
	We've already done 87 because of Donald Trump.
	Well, it's just crap.
	What?
	200 million.
	Like that's not a strong policy initiative.
	No.
	Come out with something better.
	And that's what you came with.
	If you left him in a room with all the ingredients for a vaccine, he wouldn't come out with the vaccine.
	All it would say is peel back tape to have vaccine.
	If you left him in a room with the vaccine and an empty syringe with instructions on how to fill it, he'd come out missing an eye.
	Or he'd just have an air bubble headed for his heart.
	Just come out with his hematoma.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, what's that?
	You press it.
	And he faints.
	He didn't make anything.
	The only thing he's made is a bowel movement.
	That's the only thing that, which is difficult for him.
	And he comes out and he has to blow out candles.
	I used the needle to draw blood and I drew up a plan for infrastructure.
	It's in my own blood.
	What about the roads?
	There's guns and bridges.
	Hey, whoa, come on.
	I'm not kidding around.
	Sometimes the criminals, they put their guns under the bridges.
	And we don't know because we're not spending money on those bridges.
	How are we going to find the guns?
	Hunter took my car and drove under the bridge and somebody sold him something.
	Great song with the peppers, the chili guys.
	Under the bridge.
	Give it away, give it away now.
	Give all of it away.
	They put their penises in socks.
	That's not decent.
	A sock isn't an eight year old.
	No.
	A sock is something you put your foot in.
	I mean it.
	Not your penis.
	You put your foot in it.
	Even a penis sock, which I make.
	Yeah.
	In China.
	Even a penis sock?
	Joe Biden's penis sock.
	Build back better.
	Oh my gosh.
	Do you think I'd endorse it if I didn't believe in it?
	Come on.
	I got real softballs.
	Not just questions, but in real life.
	And if I put this penis guard on it, Joe Biden's penis sock guard, I'm not going to hurt my softballs.
	What's your takeaway from that?
	And by the way, the promo code is DEMENTIA.
	We're not insinuating anything.
	You get $20 off Mug Club.
	It's the only reason we're allowed to do this.
	And by the way, we are going to go and take your chat on Mug Club.
	Lightoffcutter.com slash Mug Club.
	That's our, you know, because we don't do the YouTube chat.
	And this doesn't run on Facebook anymore because they always remove it.
	But before we go, what was your macro impression of this?
	Oh man, I thought he was coherent, fluid.
	I thought everything made sense.
	What I really think, For years and years and years we've dealt with politics and letting people run us instead of us controlling them the way that we should.
	Trump, who I had my own issues with, was a monkey wrench into the system where at least you got somebody doing something and giving something back to the press.
	This is what we voted for to put in The same business-as-usual bullshit.
	We were so worried about demonizing the last guy that we didn't even pay attention to what we were sneaking in.
	You have him and you have Kamala, who's somebody where you didn't even read the ingredients, you just looked at the label.
	All we've done is label us and destroy this country.
	This is dog shit, and we should be ashamed that it's in office.
	That's what I truly and honestly think.
	Why did you bring Major into this?
	I didn't mean to.
	I said, come on!
	I'm just mad.
	Like, talk about Kamala like that.
	He's in Delaware.
	He's back in Chevy Chase, Maryland.
	Come on.
	Speaking of Chevy Chase, did you see me do the fall?
	Yeah.
	Trying to get into an airplane?
	I fell up.
	Yeah, fine.
	The poop on the floor was mine.
	Turns out that for it to be considered a sketch, it can't be real.
	Yeah.
	You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier.
	Yes, you are.
	No, I think that's... I was going up the stairs in my electric chair and it stalled out and I tumbled down.
	I thought I would get up fast like the old lady in Gremlin, but I didn't.
	Only I wouldn't go out the sunroof.
	There was piss everywhere.
	My knees were bleeding.
	Listen, listen, listen.
	The first time I fell, okay, that was an accident.
	But time number three, you can't blame it, that was my piss.
	It gets slippery.
	Piss on carpet.
	Look, I will say that I think that's actually a great point.
	I grabbed the spot shot.
	That's a great point that Dave made.
	I honestly believe that.
	And I would take it one step further, and I would say before we go here to Mug Club, I think it's really, when he's talking about, look, look at the policies that he's talking about.
	When he says, look, it's time for us to come together, and what he means is for everyone to get on board with the Democrats.
	And he's talking about it's time to get this business done.
	Or to keep us completely divided.
	That's what he means by come together.
	Right, that's what he means.
	He really means is, come along to get along, otherwise we're just going to run roughshod over you.
	Now, who does he plan... over whom does he plan to run roughshod?
	Well, let's be clear.
	Letting in tens of thousands of migrants, record numbers, right, at the border.
	Taking guns away, even though he didn't actually have the mental acuity to go over that.
	We know what he supports as far as policy.
	Increasing taxes.
	All right, all of these issues that he's talking about when he talked about COVID, no solutions to really actually ending lockdown.
	So when he says, hey, we need to come together, what he means is him, his Democratic buddies in the House, in the Senate, and of course the media who offer up softball questions, and I can't confirm or deny that they seem to greet upon ahead of time, but the fact that he kept looking down and seemed to answer them in sequence and then was given a nice little wrap-up question makes me think that it happened.
	So now we have All!
	We have all branches of government, we have the mainstream media, we of course have Hollywood, and we have big tech trying to do their bidding, right?
	These people all are coming together to make sure that the flow of information supports the policies of disarming you while letting a record number of migrants come into this country with which we have no system!
	To verify, right, wherever they are, whenever they are, and then reducing the voting age to 16 and not requiring any kind of identification.
	So when they talk about who needs to come together, they're talking about, just as Dave Lando said, business as usual, the elites, so that they can enact policies against you.
	It really is.
	That's the one thing that I would say Donald Trump did really pretty well, and I was more of a libertarian conservative for a long time, and I still am, really, that's how I would be labeled, but I do think my eyes were opened, certainly, to the more pervasive problem of just how bad it is for career politicians to constantly have carte blanche to write checks with your money, because they have no concern for your well-being.
	They have concerns solely with votes.
	This is why we need term limits, because now they're running it for job security and not to actually serve their population.
	Just compare Joe Biden.
	Let me leave you with this comparison, okay?
	Everything that I hate about Joe Biden.
	Can be summed up in a comparison to George Washington.
	And I don't think that we've had another president more comparable to George Washington in modern times than Donald Trump.
	And here's what I mean.
	Joe Biden for 48 years suckled at the taxpayer teat.
	He's never held a job in private office for 48 years.
	George Washington was the first president and so beloved that he could have stayed president likely for decades.
	He had the power of the world's greatest nation.
	Keep in mind, A world, a country, sorry, that had left the world's superpower, the world's greatest superpower, only a decade prior, only a few years prior, to become the world's greatest superpower, only a couple decades after.
	And he was given the keys to that kingdom and they said, by the way, no one's going to give you the boot.
	Please, please stay.
	And he walked away.
	Is there any more clear of a contrast than a man who walked away from that power versus a man who has been clamoring for it and claiming credit for it for 48 years?
	Which man do you think is most likely to serve you?
	That was my takeaway from this press conference.
	All right, we're going to go to Mug Club and take your chat.
	Loddorfcreditor.com slash Mug Club.
	And the promo code is DEMENCIA, not insinuating anything.
	You get $20 off.
	We will see you, of course, next Monday.
	next Monday.
	And right now, YouTube, thank you.
	Not really.

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