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April 21, 2020 - Louder with Crowder
54:57
Trump’s Right, the Media’s Wrong on COVID | Louder with Crowder
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Time Text
You're a strange animal, that's what I know.
You're too strange animal, I don't follow.
I'm a disabilitist.
You're too strange animal, I don't follow.
I'm a disabilitist.
I love that smell.
I'm the guy who, I go to the grocery stores, and there's always, if there's a, you know, if it gets puffy from the off-gassing on coffee, I squeeze it out, and I go, because then you get that smell, and then once all the air is out, you can't squeeze it anymore.
You spread the coronavirus.
No, I don't spread the coronavirus.
I don't.
I did that by licking the salt lamps at Bath & Beyond.
Salt lamps?
No, I told you that story.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, you did.
Yes, I do remember that.
So they have salt lamps, and then they have a lamp, a salt lamp.
Do you know the story, by any way?
I don't think I've heard this.
Then they have a salt lamp that has... By the way, before I tell the story, quarantine is a promo code, $30 off.
VlogClubQuarantine is a hashtag.
We're doing livewithcowder.com slash schedule.
We're doing two shows a day because we want to best serve you, of course, in this quarantine, which for many of you could be ending in the next couple of weeks.
So we've enjoyed spending time with you, and we'll be doing life advice in a little bit.
Back to the important stuff.
Back to the important stuff.
Licking salty balls.
It's true, this is actually salt balls.
So it's a lamp, but this lamp in particular has perfectly spherical, very much unlike the earth.
If you go up in a helicopter, how do you land in the same place?
So it's like a bulb and it's a basket with a bunch of perfect, like ice balls, but they're Himalayan sea salt.
Is it Himalayan sea salt?
Aren't they mountains?
They're mountains.
So it's not Himalayan pink salt.
Pink salt, there we go.
So it's not sea salt.
Different thing.
The point is, I was looking and I was like, hold on, that looks like, remember those old massage balls they used to have in your hand?
Yeah.
I thought, maybe these aren't real, they just look like salt.
Okay.
And my wife was checking out something that would have been, you know, far more adult.
Right.
And I looked and I was like, well, this can't be, this can't be, this is long before Corona, by the way, okay?
Before you send the feds after me.
Way before.
And I went to see, and I swear to you, I hear, Steven Crowder?
It was someone who worked at Bed Bath & Beyond.
And we both had to act like you didn't just catch me licking the salt lamp balls.
Oh my gosh.
They were salty.
They were actual, because I have salt lamps.
Did you buy that one so you didn't infect anybody with anything?
It was a guilt bite.
It was a guilt bite and I was like, can I get the floor model?
I really want this one because there's something I just feel drawn to.
Then you gave it away at the office Christmas party to Quarter Black.
He got ApplePod smartphones.
Okay, so we're going to get some life advice.
You can send your... is it info at life... what is it?
I always forget.
It doesn't matter.
Ask!
Ask at ladderwithcratter.com.
No, that's not it.
That's lifeadvice at ladderwithcratter.com.
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
Stop smoking crack.
Crack and purple drink.
Not good for your short-term memory.
Not at all.
So here's my question for you.
Everyone talks about Donald Trump's attitude, right?
A lot of things that he says and his tweets.
I will say this, with all of these press briefings and this pandemic, it's a pandemic, I am kind of surprised as to how often President Trump gets things right.
And I want to know what you think about this.
Does it seem like there are more sort of like if he's taking a stab in the dark, he almost always hits something?
Have you noticed how he's been right about this?
It's no credit.
Nearly all of these, not even predictions, but some of these comments that he's made,
specifically the ones that the media have targeted, that they've latched onto, ultimately
he's been right about them.
And we'll go through, I guess, sort of the top examples here.
So let's kind of give you some context.
The media, of course, they've said, there's a trending today on Twitter.
I don't know if it's at this exact moment, but it was trending all day.
They're saying, stop airing these White House press briefings.
Because why would the media run press briefings from the Oval Office when they could have
a fat gay guy talk about them?
So unless you think I make this up, here is the media saying we need to stop running these.
But the president loves saying things like, you know, there's a drug we've got, it's very effective, it's approved already, everybody's gonna get it.
He loves saying things like that because that would be a lovely thing to be able to tell people.
How could you run the briefing instead of talk about it?
Unless, of course, that's not true.
In which case, telling people a fairy tale like that is cruel.
So all of us, whether you're a member of the media, or a U.S.
voter, or you're a citizen of another country watching us live on CNN International.
He wants to vote by mail.
All of us have to see it for what it is.
These are storytelling sessions.
These are infomercials, more than accurate sources of information.
He should return to his bed and cry for days on end because of COVID reporting.
We need another reset.
I crawled into my bed and cried with my wife, to whom I am attracted.
This, by the way, isn't a white supremacist symbol.
It means It's remarkable how many times Donald Trump has gotten it right.
So let's go through one here this week, I think.
Was it this week?
Last week?
They all blur together, especially when we're doing two shows a day.
I'm very tired.
The media tried to say that President Trump started a feud with governors, saying that states, we've read this, that states themselves should help ramp up testing.
Well, the U.S.
is reporting more than 700,000 cases of coronavirus nationwide.
As states begin to weigh when to relax social distancing measures, a key issue in that decision is testing for COVID-19.
President Trump says he's providing enough help for states to make their own choices, but some governors say the federal government needs to ramp up test kits.
It comes as protesters in Virginia, Minnesota, and Michigan are demanding an end to quarantine, while the president appears to be egging them on.
Just to be clear, even Mr. Nipple Barbell himself, while they were talking about governors, said that the president's state—this is a long clip, I warn you, but it's worth it—unilaterally agreed with the president's stance.
We've had conversations about it, and the president is right.
He's right.
States have to do what they have to step up on testing, and the federal government has to step up on testing.
Federal government is involved in testing, and they did a whole presentation at the president's briefing on testing, and what they're doing on testing.
What they're doing on testing?
And that's great.
And between the states and the federal government, we will do the best job we can.
Uh, what was the president's tweet?
Listen to this.
The king, I am right.
We will be with you all the way.
He said, just like I was right on ventilators, our country is now the king of ventilators.
I am right on testing.
Governors must be able to get the job done.
We will be with you all the way.
We will be with you all the way.
Great.
States must do their part and the federal government must do its part.
Perfect.
That's what's called partnership.
I agree.
Perfect.
I agree.
I don't know about that other inane crap, but I understand we have to sift through that until we get to the golden nugget.
And he's very agreeable, all the sudden.
Cuomo's just like, I don't know, what kind of dirt does Trump have on him?
I don't know.
He tapes down his nipples, so he's not getting the abrasions anymore.
It is never in my wildest dreams that we think that a press conference with a sitting governor would be reading a tweet from a president that sounded like that.
That was awesome.
We're the king of ventilators.
I don't know if he's in fact the king of ventilators.
I didn't vote for him.
You don't vote for your king of ventilators.
That's why I'm your king.
Born that way.
The lady came from the pond of COVID with the ventilator and named me ex-ventilator king.
So there's another one that Donald Trump talked about, and this was reported as Donald Trump saying, remember they said, Donald Trump said, this will go away as a miracle, all of this.
Warm weather, it'll come and this will go.
That's not what he said.
But again, if you look at something that he got He's almost an oracle in this sense.
I'm surprised because I didn't think that he would be this good.
So he didn't say it'll go away like a miracle.
What he did say is that maybe it would decrease in April once we saw warmer weather.
Here's the quote.
The virus.
Looks like by April, you know, in theory when it gets a little warmer it's Miraculously goes away.
I hope that's true.
First off, April, getting warmer in April is not a theory.
Yeah, that tends to happen most years.
That's an observable trend line.
I hope it gets warmer.
I'm not sure.
But when he says maybe it'll go away, who knows?
And I'll come back to why people shouldn't have jumped on Donald Trump.
Well, they dumped on Donald Trump too.
Shouldn't have jumped on him.
So it's now mid-April, in theory.
And Cuomo just announced that deaths are declining, of course.
They declared New York State past the peak, which is a big thing for them.
They needed a win.
They needed a win.
They needed a big win.
Obviously, our hearts go out to anyone affected by coronavirus, but also particularly those who still have to live in New York City.
So you got past that, you're still in New York City.
A new study from the government... Can we trust them?
I want to be sure that it's authoritative.
It now shows us that coronavirus, COVID-19, doesn't survive very long in high temperatures or high humidity, and that it is quickly destroyed by sunlight.
A second study linked warm and humid weather in the past months to decreased cases, right?
And it showed that warmer parts of the United States, like Texas, Florida, have seen a slower spread than places like New York and Washington.
And then in that study, as a matter of fact, I think we can bring this up, they determined that, I think globally, like 90, is it 90%?
Yeah, 90%.
90% of coronavirus cases have occurred in cool climates between 37 to 63 degrees.
And here's the thing.
Wow.
It's not like President Trump needed some kind of a crystal ball.
This isn't new.
This is an easy one.
If you go back to the 1918 flu epidemic, doctors, they used to, like, open air treatment because they noticed that people in sunlight recovered more quickly.
You've heard, like, sunlight is the best disinfectant?
Right.
Not necessarily.
Sometimes pure grain alcohol, but it comes from like, you know, you have warped bones and you're coughing and you know, go out West and we'll see what happens.
Wow.
And by the way, so I hadn't seen that clip of what Trump actually said, but I had seen all of the headlines and I was like, ah, that was a really dumb thing to say.
Now I see the clip and I'm like, oh, that's not even what he said at all.
But it is actually true.
I mean, go figure.
We have fewer cases of the flu every single year in the South than we do in the North.
And it's not just because of population, it's by per capita.
Right, because it's colder up there for a little bit longer and it's a natural thing.
Come on.
That's why it's surprising.
It just shows you how dead set they are in jumping on him.
In other words, Sanjay Gupta can't find out about the flu in 1918.
He doesn't know about TB or rickets.
He doesn't understand how UV light works as a disinfectant.
He hasn't seen the Hamaker Schlemmer catalog with the toothbrush sanitizer that has UV light.
Is that a real thing?
Yes, it's a real thing.
Gosh, I had no idea.
My sister-in-law bought me one for Christmas.
Oh, do you use it?
No.
It's very inconvenient.
It's better in theory.
So here's another one that I just love.
A young Mr. Rachel Maddow said that Donald Trump was lying about Navy hospitals.
In terms of the happy talk we've had on this front from the federal government, there is no sign that the Navy hospital ships that the President made such a big deal of, the Comfort and the Mercy, there's no sign that they'll be anywhere on site helping out anywhere in the country for weeks yet.
The President said when he announced that those ships would be put into action against the COVID-19 epidemic, he said one of those ships would be operational in New York Harbor by next week.
That's nonsense.
It will not be there next week.
And by the way, I know that many of you out there don't have... Well, I guess you can watch things on fast speed, but I realize a lot of young people don't really use a fast-forward button anymore.
They skip on a timeline.
By the way, hey, Amazon Prime, I would like to have a speed, if I'm going to fast-forward a nine-minute HBO intro, that's somewhere between half a frame a second and DeLorean.
If there could be an in-between there, that would be wonderful.
I don't need to watch The Robot and the Milk on Westworld for four minutes every time.
No.
So, uh, let's just pretend like you have a fast forward here.
We're saying weeks, nothing.
So... Fast forward... One week.
Here we go.
Oh!
Showed right off!
Damn.
By the way, one week.
You didn't have to wait many weeks.
That's never gonna happen.
This is awesome.
Some people thought we were going to have to wait many weeks.
We didn't.
That dude, Matt Ow?
He only had to wait one week.
Here's another one.
Chloroquine.
Hydroxychloroquine.
Of course you can see our reaching out and coverage of the lady who drank fish tank cleaner
who by the way was a Democratic donor and I think offed her husband.
Pretty much.
Carol Baskin.
Carol f***ing Baskin.
The media of course mocked Donald Trump mercilessly.
And this is something Trevor Noah touted chloroquine.
He claimed that Donald Trump mentioned it.
He said it was a bull and I think we have a clip bulls*** here which is ironic because
it seems like Trevor Noah doesn't understand the difference between a treatment and a cure.
Donald Trump never claimed that it was a cure.
That never ever ever happened.
Now, if you don't like the fact that Donald Trump claimed that it could be a valuable treatment, which, by the way, is what we're looking for right now because a cure is a ways off, fine.
But he never said it was a cure.
Someone forgot to tell Mr. biracial Edmond Dantes.
What?
We got the treatment.
We're gonna cure it.
We're gonna...
What?
Camera framing.
He was just making that s**t up?
What the president said was either confusing or just plain wrong.
I'm glad I wore my sweatpants because I can check.
It was so unfunny my d**k shrunk.
Wow.
Yeah.
Inverted.
Don't do that.
It's like a shriveled up... Remember those California raisins when they used to be a band?
Yeah.
Only they're not singing.
I was in the pool!
It's that unfunny!
This is what bothers me so much about Trevor Noah.
You know you've seen people talk about sell-out bands?
You've seen people talk about pre-packaged, pre-fab.
Trevor Noah is absolutely not the best person for that job.
When you look at the history of the Daily Show, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Rob Riggle, Rob Corddry, who else do we have?
I already said Rob Riggle.
What's the name?
Ed Helms.
Gosh, it's just a who's who of talent, and the successor was Trevor Noah!
When you think of the old late night war, where it was like Jay Leno and David Letterman at one point, Joan Rivers.
Imagine if they just threw like Milton Berle in there.
You're not going to host a show!
That doesn't work.
He would even be like, Trevor Noah, get to the back, kid.
Pick your spots.
That's awesome.
He's just the worst.
Okay.
So after President Trump's comments, Governor Cuomo announced that New York was running trials, right?
And that immediately the FDA approved the drug for treating coronavirus.
And we've already covered this.
Many studies, by the way, that the media never covered.
Which was remarkable to me, because they would say, there's no science at all behind the use of chloroquine.
We don't have any evidence thus far.
Other than 50 years of it.
Other than many, many studies at this point that had come out and showed a shocking efficacy rate.
Though they did then cover, say, see, this is what we were concerned about.
The science is in one flawed Brazilian study that did show negative results with two different sample groups from using a significantly higher than recommended dose.
So this Brazilian study, when people try to quote and say, look, it can cause all kinds of heart problems, they had two groups.
They had people who used slightly lower than the recommended dose, and they've continued that from the study.
And then they had a group that used more than the recommended dose, and they had to stop that.
So we had no science in when we had result after result, study after study after study, showing us that it worked.
And then the one study that says, hey, what happens if we use far more than the prescribing would indicate?
Well, now we have some science showing that it doesn't work.
Well, I would say that the media probably grabbed a hold of that negative study and was just blasting it all over the place, and not the positive studies that we've had coming out day after day after day after day.
And more reliable studies, by the way.
More reliable, yes.
Even, I think it was a Democrat House member, right?
From Michigan.
Yeah.
Thanks, Trump, for hydroxychloroquine.
She said that she felt better less than two hours after taking the drug.
And that's anecdotal, but this is why doctors are using it in hospitals across the country.
But it still happened.
It's anecdotal, but if you're going to put the negative stuff that's pretty much anecdotal as well on the news, can you at least include the positive?
The studies and the science show that it works effectively as a treatment, not as a cure.
Unfunny, Noah.
And then, of course, the anecdotal would indicate that as well.
Here's another quick one.
The ventilators.
I will say, because I thought this was weird, right?
New York said that they would originally need, I think, was it 30,000 ventilators?
And they were upset that Donald Trump only sent 4,000 to New York and the media accused Donald Trump of downplaying it.
And I remember thinking it was weird because he said, they need 40,000 ventilators, folks.
Most hospitals have a few.
I've never heard, who needs 40,000 ventilators?
We may have to look into what they're doing with these ventilators.
People said, oh, you don't care about people dying.
I remember at that time saying, why are you picking this fight, Donald Trump?
If they say they need 40,000 ventilators, just send them 40,000 ventilators so they don't have an excuse.
Well, it turns out that creating a ventilator is almost like creating a car, and they didn't need it at all.
de Blasio actually says now that they're fine.
They only needed a fraction of what they thought.
Right.
They were basically just going to end up hoarding ventilators.
And it was important for the federal, when you talk about the appropriate role of federal government in states, it's necessary for the federal government to have a stockpile that they can provide to states.
Right.
And they provided more than enough to New York.
So that was another area where I thought, this might not play well for you.
Remarkable!
Yeah, and you can't just give all of your supplies to one state.
You have to triage to the rest of the country, because we're all in this together, right, as they say.
You know, I've heard people say he's playing 4D chess.
4D.
I've even heard people go as far as saying that he's playing 5D chess.
Wow, I don't even know what that looks like.
I will be the first, let it be known, let the record show, I will be the first on this program to state that he's playing 7D chess.
What even happened to 6?
I skipped it.
Wow.
I wanted to make sure that I left Mr. Maddow in my wake.
Here's another one!
Okay, masks!
This was one that people, it sounded silly, where he talked about sanitizing, because I think he said using thigh liquids and reusing masks.
I have to tell you, the throwing away of the mask Being in private business, they're throwing away the mask right away.
They're throwing it away.
And when you hear 55 million masks were ordered, I'm saying 55 million?
How could it possibly be such a number?
And they say, oh, that's just a small fraction of what we need.
And I said, why aren't we sanitizing masks?
You know, you look at the masks.
I've looked at all the different masks.
Some don't lead themselves to doing that, I think, but many do.
And I said, why aren't we — we have very good liquids for doing this, sanitizing the masks.
That's something they're starting to do more and more, they're sanitizing the masks.
And then Rachel Maddow, like the liquids, she thought he wanted a no-bid contract for Trump vodka.
I do love the way he's like, throwin' mats, throwin' mats, like that's what doctors do.
Just throw it in the pile.
Throwin' it all over the place.
Like there isn't some kind of refuse, like there isn't a place for medical waste.
Right.
There wouldn't be a proper waste.
Everything else that he said was very reasonable, but the highlight was fine liquids because it does sound dumb.
It does.
One for you.
Sounds dumb.
But then, of course, the media said that this was absurd, it was impossible, it was irresponsible.
Well, now the FDA has cleared a private non-profit, Battelle, not to be confused with Mattel.
If you try and sterilize your mask with anything from Mattel, you'll just get kid germs on it.
Battelle can start sanitizing masks.
We'll probably have about 800,000 a day sanitized.
And then they even hired over 2,000 new techs to help.
Oh.
Perfect.
This weekend they're actually expanding further to sanitize all masks for first responders
for free. So free enterprise works and even then this is something we should all be on board with
recycling. Now masks are reusable. It should be a double win. But because President Trump said
fine liquids, which sounds kind of dumbass-ish, that's what the media covers. Well I guarantee
what they'll come out and say is that those liquids are really bad for the environment and
that now we're creating a problem.
Right.
They'll find the negative anywhere.
Kind of like aluminum cans.
Then we went to glass, and they're like, that's bad for the environment.
We need a solution.
What's the solution?
Aluminum bottles?
Not cans.
Not cans.
What?
Why would we just use cans?
Because Budweiser needs to, they're losing their market share to craft breweries.
Let's go with, here's an aluminum bottle.
But I thought the dolphins were getting caught in the six-pack thing.
You know what?
We don't really care.
Let's just, aluminum bottles, let's just skip along here, hit the fast-forward, watch at twice speed, and don't, you know, call us on our sh**.
Here's another one.
The travel ban.
This is something that Donald Trump obviously was very clear about.
Bans travel from China.
Biden claimed it was xenophobic, and Bernie said that he would keep borders open.
But neither should we panic.
Or fall back on xenophobia.
Or complete a sentence.
Labeling COVID-19 a foreign virus does not displace accountability for the misjudgments that have been taken thus far by the Trump administration.
Do you think there's a teenager under that podium like a police academy?
But if you had to, if you had to, would you close those doors?
I forgot there was an election going on.
I know.
No.
No.
I mean, what you don't want to do right now, we have a president Who has propagated xenophobic anti-immigrant sentiment from before he was elected.
Not really anti-immigrant.
Anti-bat-virus.
Yes.
And anti-illegal immigrant.
Yeah, anti-illegal, but more specifically here, more so about the wet markets and the bat-virus.
You know, that's really what it was.
He wasn't banning all of the places.
He doesn't want to demonize anyone, including people who likely are carrying the disease coming from the province where the disease has originated, but he does want to demonize business owners.
Yeah, yeah.
If you make money, we have no time for you.
But if you're coming from a place where they boil dogs alive on the to-go menu and put it in a box, well, you know what?
Listen, let's be a little more open-minded.
You're our people.
By the way, Dr. Fauci, since people love to call him a rock star, he said that it was of course the right call and that it stopped us from becoming another Italy.
That early on, they did not shut out as well the input of infections that originated in China and came to different parts of the world.
One of the things that we did very early and very aggressively, the president, you know, put the travel restriction coming from China to the United States and most recently from Europe to the United States because Europe is really the new China.
And actually, I wish we didn't cut the clip so short because after that he did a great rendition of Got No Strings To Hold Me Down.
Oh, wow.
I hate that I missed that.
No, you don't.
Maybe that could be on Crowder Bits?
And by the way, while we're talking about science, because Republicans apparently are the party of anti-science scientists, they estimate that travel restrictions in China alone may have prevented 700,000 cases.
Please note, this is an actual peer-reviewed study, not an article in a Chinese government propaganda outlet or Rachel Maddow's evening opinion show.
Well, everybody goes to the China ban, and that was a huge thing, right?
Big fan of it.
Well, yeah, no, but then the Europe ban, he got the same amount of crap for.
Even you people were like, why are you banning us?
It turns out most of the cases of coronavirus in New York came from Europe.
Right.
They traveled through to Italy and then through the rest of Europe to New York City, most of them.
He was right again.
Well, they wanted us to believe he was racist, so now are we supposed to believe that he's from 1920s New York where he hates those guineas?
Yeah.
He's just closing.
I mean, he just can't win.
I don't want those dagos coming home from their skiing trip.
I'll take a whopper with cheese.
Racism.
Like, what do they think?
I mean, it's very clear that if anything, he's banned so many places.
When you talk about the Islamic ban, which again, of course, it was targeted, and this was determined by Barack Obama.
I think it was six countries or seven countries, and then Donald Trump just followed through.
Right, Europe followed suit. It's like, he hates Muslims.
Well, then he hates Mexicans.
Then there was a Honduran caravan where the Mexicans were like, can you do this?
Oh, he hates Hondurans and El Salvadorans. They're like, he hates the Chinese.
And then he just banned travel from Europe where it's mostly white people.
Yeah, he just doesn't like that.
Sicily notwithstanding, we know the history there. I saw true romance.
That being said, it's an exception, not the rule.
We do have to go to life advice here in a second.
I want to know what you guys think.
It is remarkable to me because I do understand that Donald Trump obviously says things that come off as not particularly sharp.
That being said, compared with Joe Biden, I'm amazed as to how sharp he has stayed.
He really hasn't aged, certainly mentally, cognitively.
He's boisterous.
He's bombastic.
He can be a little bit of a bully, a little bit of a dick, but he is the same today as he was when he became president, and he almost seems to be getting sharper.
Don't take my word for it, by the way.
Watch these briefings.
I encourage everyone out there, if the media won't do their job, I think tomorrow actually, Tuesday, we'll be doing a press briefing livestream party.
So we'll be doing the job that the press refuses to do tomorrow, whenever the briefing starts, so it's kind of a little bit fluid because Donald Trump is pretty fluid.
He doesn't always show up on time.
You never know.
He just shows up 20 minutes later.
Hail to the Chief, cause when he shows up, now you listen.
The King.
I feel like he's a Midwest auto salesman.
The King of Ventilators.
President Trump, I miss my son's soccer game.
Who are you, Harry Chapin?
So I'm amazed.
I think he's been doing an unbelievable job.
And the more that I dug into this, I am surprised as to how many predictions he made that he got right.
Watch the briefings for yourself.
There are all kinds of channels that have them available on YouTube right now.
And this is where the wonder of new media is actually valuable.
Provided the big tech overlords don't try and step in and start carrying the water.
4CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC, CBS, and pretty much everyone not named Fox News, this is a great time to actually take it straight from the horse's mouth.
Make your own decisions.
Don't take my word for it like LeVar Burton.
I would ask that you take the word of a six-year-old boy who recommends the coloring book.
It's a pop-up!
Okay, let's go to life advice.
Top love!
With Guru Crowder.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Man.
One of the soothing sounds of Gerald Morgan Jr.
It is.
You do have a good voice for radio.
Oh, no, I was saying that was soothing.
And a face.
Boom.
But thank you for wearing the same shirt.
I have a face.
As always.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
That's the best compliment I've been given.
He does have a face.
Can you do your best Gerald C. impression for us?
A face.
Look at that!
Wow.
Spot on.
I've been working on it all vacation.
That's the future mother of my children.
All right.
You can send your requests to, of course, lifeadviceatlattlethecutter.com.
And this is the time of the show where I tell you, of course, if you are thinking about any sort of self-harm or anything serious like that, suffering from any serious Psychological, psychiatric symptoms.
You should always seek out professional help anyway.
Of course.
And I advocate therapy.
Of course.
Having a good psychologist, I think it's a good thing.
We do our best.
That being said, my best is better than a doctor.
True.
Better than best, really.
In a lot of ways.
These are just facts.
Yeah.
I mean, I just say best because we haven't even come up with a term to apply here yet.
It's true.
Most people say you can't give 110%.
What's better than best?
You can.
You're the blank.
Oh, round!
You fill it in.
I don't know.
But I'm that.
I'm a guru.
That's the point that I'm getting at here.
We appreciate you sending in your letters.
And of course, we get some video submissions now.
We do.
Of course, understand that you forego all anonymity.
Yes.
Anonimity.
Anonimity.
All right.
First one here.
C, anonymities.
Yeah.
I also know the word stalactites.
Oh!
Totally different things.
Ah, dear Guru Crow.
Are those the uppers or the downers?
Stalactites.
They're in caves.
Oh, right.
Both of them are.
What's a sea anemone?
Who knows?
Is that an honest question?
I have no idea.
I know what a stalactite is.
I don't know what a sea anemone is.
But it made me think of the other word.
It's like those things with the little twiggly hands and tentacles and stuff.
This has run its course.
We have derailed.
OK.
You don't want to spend another 30 minutes on this?
Dear Guru Crowder, I recently came out of the closet and started to date other gay men.
Hey, coming out hot.
Did you need to specify gay men?
I thought that was redundant.
I mean, you start dating other men if they're not gay, then, I mean, get your ass back in the closet.
Find yourself a walk-in and stay there.
I am a conservative who finds most of the liberal propaganda to be both illogical and downright dishonest.
I live in New York, and almost every date I go on, at some point, the guy I'm dating will say something like, I hope Trump and anyone who follows him gets coronavirus.
Well, this seems pretty recent.
I mean, this isn't like this has been plaguing you for all your life.
I mean, if you say, like, a long time ago, maybe you said swine flu, or... SARS.
...bird flu, SARS, you know.
He said recent.
Yeah, I think it's just... He did say he came out recently.
It could just be the sort of pandemic and sort of... Yeah, it's true.
I've gotten to the point where... Well, that's true.
but I can also see myself as someone who's open to debate and enjoys growing together
and understanding each other's ideals.
That being said, I feel like I'm starting every relationship with a secret inside, and
it's almost like I'm having to come out all over again as a conservative."
Well, that's true.
A lot of conservatives.
Because apparently, you can't like dick and lower taxes.
We'll bleep that, but it's a... But the point remains... Taxes.
Right.
Yes, bleeping taxes.
Thank you.
Jesus would want us to bleep taxes.
Lower taxes.
He had a problem with the taxes.
The tax collectors.
He put them on the same playing field as prostitutes.
Render unto Caesar.
No, no.
I'm talking about Matthew.
No, I know.
I'm just saying.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you know, we can just say things.
I do.
I think that's exactly what the show is.
It's hard enough being gay and having like 97% of the population not available to you.
I can't imagine also having to restrict myself to only making sure I date conservative guys, which I might add, I have yet to see in NYC so far.
Please help and give me your advice on this.
P.S.
You are very handsome.
Well, alright then.
Oh boy.
That's very nice.
I don't mind it.
I didn't mean it like that.
It's a compliment.
He's trying to butter you up for a good advice here.
It's a compliment that doesn't mean so much because let's be honest like it's a meat market. It's true. Even if I
weren't handsome you'd want it Guys are easy
Magazines and everything out magazine and everyone's like all these gorgeous guys and women go why are these all the
good-looking ones taken?
It's like mmm. That's not really representative of the entire community
Have you heard of bears?
It's a thing Point is, there are ugly people all around.
There are.
Including the gays, but I appreciate you saying that I am handsome.
Enough to go around.
Is nearsightedness something that plagues the gay community?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
This is going to be hard.
This is going to be difficult for you.
You know, I don't have a ton.
I mean, I know a lot of conservative gay guys, but I understand that's just because I work in this field.
But I do know that there are a lot of groups that exist where gay conservatives can sort of congregate and meet up.
That might be a good place to start.
And not have sex.
Yeah.
Talk politics.
Listen, let's be honest, it always leads to sex.
Yeah, it's gonna happen.
Just like we were talking about with women, the reason that conquest for women isn't seen as some kind of an accomplishment is because all they need to say is yes.
Exactly.
Gays are the most decadent people in the world.
Yes, yes, yes.
The refractory period is insane.
I don't understand.
Straight people like sex, but I don't think we can have sex as much as gay people do.
You have a problem in your community, is what I'm saying.
If you don't want it to all be about sex, Then don't make every publication that you put out there all about sex.
It's not our fault that we assume that.
Is there a gay camping magazine anywhere?
If it was, it would be about sex camping!
Yeah, you know, what's the equivalent?
Like, I don't know.
The only advice that I could give you is there are people out there like you.
I think you'll see more, particularly in the era of Trump, because everyone's doing so much better.
There can be people, you might not find people who share necessarily your social values, but you can find people who at the very least understand your financial standpoint.
And again, I know a lot of gay people who actually are Pretty traditional.
I shouldn't say a lot, but they exist.
And they exist, namely, in the conservative community.
And I could name probably five, just off the top of my head, in New York City.
Yeah, well look, I think it's the same thing with any kind of relationship, trying to find somebody who matches with you on a number of different components, the religion, and you know, kind of how you feel morally, even if you don't believe in any God or anything like that, and value, just overall, right?
So, in this case, I think you have to lead with that kind of stuff.
I know it's daunting, but you have to get that out there, especially if you're in New York City, a very liberal place.
Like you said, there's probably plenty of people out there that are conservative, But you can't just hide it.
You gotta come out each time and you have to be ready to answer the questions and walk away.
Trust me, there's gonna be another guy, right, for this person.
It sounds a little weird, but there's plenty of men in the scene.
And if none of that works, consider playing for the other team.
Yeah.
There's a much wider selection with a much deeper bench.
We do.
Far less aids.
It's true.
Far, far less.
It is not without its perks, is all I'm saying.
Alright, next one's a video submission.
We have a video, here we go.
Hi Guru Steven, I have a question for you.
My husband and I, we just got married about 8 months back.
Um, and we've had the, you know, normal issues that a newlywed couple has.
Um, as a couple of Christians, um, we know that marriage is for life, but the only issue that we've really run into is one of his friends that he's had for a long time.
He convinced my husband to get professional help for depression and anxiety, um, for which I am forever grateful.
But this friend is incredibly arrogant, um, and incredibly very far less leaning.
He is also a Christian, technically ordained, so should know that humility is a necessity in a Christian life, but for some reason refuses to pursue it.
My husband and him share a lot of interests, and so my husband wants to stay around him because a lot of his other friends, most of his friends, are in this group too, and if he I think he's one of those people that are either really stupid or evil.
I want to be a good wife and I want to be a good teammate and not his mother
and forbid him from seeing his friends.
I think that it's good for men to bond with men.
And I want to see him do that, but I'm scared of this friend
that he has and his influence.
I think he's one of those people that are either really stupid or evil.
So it's a lot deeper question than that, more to get into, but I don't really have the time.
So if you could give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it.
Well, first off, thank you for submitting.
Let me, a couple of things that you got right.
First off, adorable.
Oh, yeah.
Just wonderful.
Your eyes really tell a story.
Adorbs.
And I don't know if that's like, if you have makeup on, but like, you know, I have a skin that just, it just, like, I always perpetually look 14.
And then it's just pimples and greys.
I don't know how that happens, but I'm envious.
I shouldn't be, but I'm envious.
You get a lot right as well.
Wanting to be a good teammate, wanting to support your husband.
Not his mom.
Right.
Something... What?
God.
That's what she said.
I don't want to be his mother.
Oh, I thought you said like his wife is not his mom.
I should hope not.
No.
We don't want them watching this show.
We don't want people watching this show who see Colton Wade as autobiographical.
And something I wanted to touch on here that kind of struck a chord with me, I appreciate that you said this friend helped your husband sort of seek help for anxiety and depression.
And here's something that may be a component to this problem, and you see this a lot with sort of Christians and even people who are sometimes just on the right wing or who are anti-medical establishment.
We've talked about how people get pushed to the fringes if they feel as though they have no other options.
And you and I have talked about how often in the church, a lot of times, Christians are like, even if they're not against any kind of psychiatric assistance or pharmaceuticals, they will somehow brag, whether they mean to or not, I am not on anything!
I just take fish oil.
I don't take any drugs.
But it's okay for you, though.
Fish oil.
But it's okay for you, though.
You know, that happens a lot.
And by the way, I take fish oil.
I think you should take the right side.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I didn't know it helped mental capacity.
It does.
No, I meant, like, for not, like, just brain smarts.
I meant, like, for depression.
No, it does.
It actually is beneficial for depression.
Is it really?
Omega-3 fatty acids.
Yeah, there are a lot of things that do help.
Now, it's not a panacea.
It's not going to cure severe depression.
So before I go forward and say this, I am not pro-go-to-drugs as your first option.
I think before anything else, whether it's Lat-Band or Zoloft, you need to get everything else in order.
What do you need to do?
You need to get your spiritual life in order as much as you can.
Physically, you need to be going to the gym, you need to be exercising, you need to be getting your diet in order.
And then if that doesn't help and you still have problems, you go seek medical help.
Some people do all these things right and then they find out that they have type 1 diabetes.
Or they find out that they have a thyroid condition, and they take that pill.
Some people do everything right, and they're disciplined, and they do their daily devotionals, and they do meditation, and they try to sleep right and eat right, and they still find themselves depressed.
Or they still find themselves with crippling anxiety.
It does happen, and I don't want to see conservatives, the right wing, or Christians push these people to the fringes where the only options that they have are to seek out pill pushers, because those people exist as well.
I think we need to be open-minded and we need to be empathetic to people who may be struggling with mental health.
Unfortunately, it's often only discussed when some celebrity kills himself and so everyone comes out and says
I struggle with mental health but it seems a little bit disingenuous.
So that may be why your husband, if this friend is the only one who actually sort of spurred him to seek out
professional help, your husband may have a bond with him because this person may have saved him a whole lot of heartache
or really may have improved his life.
And that is a difficult bond to break if he feels like this was the only person who was able to help him.
So that's kind of a macro point that I'd like to make it large.
I think we need to be mindful of this.
On the other side, without knowing a whole lot about this friend, I would say this.
And then I'll let Gerald take it from here.
You need to be honest about yourself.
Now I've always said this, your close circle of friends, people you confide in, people who would be offering you any marriage advice, they cannot be people who don't share your values.
They can be beer buddies, they can be guys you go play ping pong with, that's fine.
They cannot be people who help you make your life-altering decisions.
If that is the case here, that's a problem.
And I think the only way to fix it is, you know, you replace a bad habit with a good habit, is you get other, better people in that circle of friends, better influences, people who share those values.
But I also think you need to ask yourself, is this someone who is really corrosive to your marriage?
Is this someone who is really harmful to your husband?
Or is this someone who you would rather your husband not hang out with?
That's a question that only you can answer.
answer, not saying that's the case, but I do think you need to take some quiet time
and reflect on that because I've seen both of those cases be true.
Yeah, it seems I was wondering what all other than being a leftist and not being humble
what the sins of this person were.
Right.
Those are the only two things that she listed.
I'm like, all right, somebody who's not humble is annoying, you know, but I'm not sure that
that's something that I'm scared of.
Right.
If it's a guy who says, be good to your wife, be faithful to your wife, honor your vows, and then he also happens to want socialized healthcare, that's annoying, and it's a problem, and it's someone who doesn't understand logically why that doesn't work, but that doesn't mean it's someone who needs to be cut out of his life.
No, not at all.
And it's not like those are infectious ideas that are just going to obviously propagate to your husband and change him.
It's like, look, it's okay for, I think, this relationship to still exist.
If it's an unhealthy relationship for whatever reason, then obviously you need to be spurring your husband on and just bringing things up.
Like, hey, every time you come home from hanging out with Johnny, like you say, and I don't even know what the guy's name is, but you know, you say like these things and it never seems like it's a positive experience.
Yeah, some weird thing.
Thank you.
That's a great example.
I hate that when that happens.
My wife is crying right now because you said that.
I didn't cut Johnny out of my life.
I didn't have the budget for so many cats.
The point is, hit him in his wallet.
That's right.
Hit him where it hurts.
But also, you're eight months into marriage, right?
And you have those things that you go through in marriage.
I know this.
I am ten months into marriage, or actually a little over that right now.
And these things, I think, will kind of filter themselves out, too.
You'll start making new friend groups as a married couple that eventually, they don't necessarily get rid of old friend groups, but some of those old relationships were there for a season.
And this one may be one of those.
Your husband may naturally kind of work his way out, so I would say take a little bit of a hands-off approach to it for now, kind of see where it goes, and if it truly is harming your husband, that's a different conversation than what I think we're having right now.
Right.
Like, I had some—my wife, honestly, didn't really have many toxic relationships.
She always picked her friends pretty well.
And you can't pick your family members, so that's one of those things that, sorry, you just have to take the L. But she did have some friends, and I did have to sort of delineate, like, I didn't really want to hang out with these friends, but they were just annoying.
Like, she had a friend who was kind of toothy.
Okay.
That was it.
What is it?
A little gummy.
I don't want to go couples bowling with that.
I don't have to look at that all night.
The point is I was wrong and I had to check myself and I let the process work itself out naturally and she's no longer my wife's life.
It's like a shark tooth.
You put a few states between you and the problem's solved.
And if it is corrosive, you think about it and it really is a bad relationship for your
husband to have, talk to him.
Sitting around thinking about it and wondering about it, and we appreciate the question coming
here but talk to your husband.
And I would also say talk with, ideally his father, talk with men whose values you and your husband both share.
Right.
And also have them talk with your husband.
Now don't go, I'm not saying gossip around your husband's back, but express the concern to your husband so he knows, so it's not a surprise, and then whoever it is out there who you see having a positive influence on your husband and whose opinion your husband respects, particularly as a man, Not saying that your opinion should be the most important to your husband, but sometimes an objective third party, who also is a man, can be very helpful.
Yeah, absolutely.
Alright, next one is you, Gerald.
Alright, perfect.
Esteemed Guru Crowder, my wife and I... That goes without saying.
It does.
I mean, it should say something else instead.
My wife and I have been married for nearly a year now.
When it comes to sex, I often find myself disappointed or even frustrated.
My wife suffers from chronic illness, which can leave her tired or disgruntled, and while I'm sensitive to her needs and do not blame her, it means that we often go days without being intimate.
When we do make love, I can feel like the only participant.
Very rarely does she initiate physicality, and when she does, I still end up doing pretty much everything.
I would appreciate your input.
Well, first off, I want you to go days without being intimate.
Everyone goes days.
Days, days, days.
I gotta tell you, I don't know how old this person is.
I don't think it's said, but if you are, I think if you're a young person and you have been looking forward to being married and you've waited for sex and then you get to this and it's like sex has been built up in your mind as something that's wonderful in marriage, right?
Even if it's kept appropriate as this wonderful thing and then you You encounter a situation, for whatever reason that's difficult, that's hard, right?
You've gotta figure out how to be intimate with one another in these situations.
And I'll say this, having a chronic illness that's different than a random, I have a headache, or we're both too tired, or something like that.
It seems like that's something that you knew going in, that there was this chronic illness, and that there may have been some impact from that.
I'm sure this isn't the first time that this conversation has come up, even if you weren't having sex before marriage.
So, I think you just have to figure out how you work around that, and you have to give as much grace as possible, because this person can't do anything about a chronic illness.
There's nothing that they can do, other than try to- I didn't have to know his wife's name.
He didn't include it.
I didn't say that.
Oh, they were saying, give it to Grace as much as possible.
No, give them as much grace.
Go on in there and give it to her!
Really?
No, don't.
Grace!
Not if she doesn't want to, because that's rape.
That's true.
Which we don't condone.
No.
Oh wow, deafening silence there.
Thanks for letting me get on that limb.
No, I agree with you.
That being said, this is the kind of thing that would probably benefit from couples counseling.
It would, yeah.
And I will say this, as someone who my wife and I waited to have sex with each other until we were married, it's very different from A lot of other relationships, right?
You get a lot of people talking about sexual compatibility, which is kind of silly if you're both being selfless, if you're both actually esteeming the other one first and putting their needs first.
You should both, and... It's like, I had a pastor tell me it's like going out for Chinese food.
Everyone should get a fortune cookie.
But I hate fortune cookies, but I like orgasms, so it wasn't a very good analogy.
And that's the beauty of sex.
Sex is a wonderful thing.
Think about this for a second.
It is.
Between married couples.
And Christians don't talk about this.
It creates a bond.
Two fleshes become one.
We talk about this biblically.
It is something that creates an intense connection.
A soul tie, if you will.
And you get to have orgasms.
It's wonderful.
Sex is a great thing.
And for people who wait until they're married to have sex.
Sometimes people go, oh, well, the reason that people don't have the same kind of sexual dysfunction, typically speaking, where both parents are virgins, is because you have nothing to compare it to.
That may or may not be true, but at the end of the day, people are more sexually satisfied, and that is because if you have an open line of communication, and you are putting each other's needs first, if you waited to have sex until you're married, guess what?
Sex will get better throughout your marriage.
Now, people who've been playing the field, the idea is often like, well, you know, I had one guy say one time, you know, I've been married for three years now, so, you know, I don't really have sex that often, if you know what I mean.
I said, no.
So it's different, right?
They think it starts off and you're naughty and it's taboo and then you get married and it's old hat.
But for people like us, it actually should get better because, you know, you're figuring out the cheat codes.
You're trying to hit the high score, right?
You're working together.
Yeah, exactly.
You're a team.
Some women don't necessarily have the same mindset, especially if you're coming at this from a Christian perspective.
I will say there's been a gross disservice done to a lot of young Christian women where they don't talk about sex.
A lot of their leaders, a lot of their confidants don't really talk about it because it's naughty or it's dirty.
And you know what?
Women want to have sex too.
Women want to have sex within the confines.
Typically speaking, as opposed to men who can, you know, they can do it with the, they can do it with that chair, right?
It's got a nice, it's got a nice felt swatch.
Is that a swatch?
What is it?
With a textile?
You don't even need a girled seat.
No, you don't even need—it doesn't even have to—the point is, any form of friction, it doesn't even have to be velour.
That's my point.
With a guy, it's pretty easy.
But women want to have sex, too, within the confines of a relationship where they feel secure and they can trust the person.
Not all women.
There are exceptions.
Maybe this isn't something that was communicated to your wife, barring the illness.
That's something that if you knew, like you said, you saw the ride, you bought a ticket, anyway, you're going to have to deal with, but I do think there could be some value in going to.
This is probably the area, finances and sex, are the area, and communication, but usually the problems stem typically from communication as they relate to finances and sex.
But finances and sex are an area where marriage counselors, like a qualified psychologist who's a therapist, who works with couples, can work As a matter of fact, it's very rare that it doesn't help.
So I highly recommend that in this instance, because your wife may not feel comfortable, and she may feel as though you're prodding, or you are—hopefully you're not prodding against her will.
My point is, figuratively prodding.
You don't want to be like aliens poking at her body.
This isn't a Ridley Scott sequel.
The point here is that—I'm just horribly sorry.
I just get very uncomfortable with these topics.
The point is, she may feel pressured by you, but not if it's an objective third party who has both of your best interests at heart.
And I will say that often, a lot of people complain about couples counseling how the therapist takes the side of the woman.
Often with sex, it is usually more illuminating for the woman, and it ends up yielding dividends.
It's something I highly recommend as it relates to sex, communication, finances.
One quick thing too at the end here.
There's two things.
One, don't put sex on such a pedestal that you think your life is ruined if you don't have great sex with your wife because there are situations where... Also the balance issue.
You don't have sex on a pedestal.
Exactly.
You never want to do that, right?
It's tough.
Don't make it that hard.
The other thing is that serving one another, sometimes your wife, and this is something
that maybe this counseling can help point out, sometimes she's not gonna feel like it,
but because she loves you and wants to serve you well, she's going to have sex.
And it may be the same, you may be exhausted, you may not be in the mood for anything,
but because she wants to and you wanna serve her well, and you both desire one another,
sometimes you have to do that.
And so it seems like a little bit of that needs to take place here.
Yeah, without knowing all the information, I definitely would recommend some kind of couples
counseling.
All right, we are coming up on this, so I'm going to put this here, some of the other ones, so we have this for another Life Advice.
Ooh!
And I will finish- More advice for the life.
With the last one here.
Dear Master Guru Crowder, Gerald A. Got that right.
That's good.
Thank God they sent it in on the right day, where you didn't take another one of your vacations, because apparently frivolity is more important.
Frivolity.
And Quarter Black.
Hey!
Nice!
And quarter black, alright!
My problem is that my husband has dated almost strictly redheads.
Huh.
I was blonde when we started dating, but dyed my hair red in university.
It was my rebellious stage.
I grew up in a conservative house where I was not allowed to dye my hair.
So you went with red?
Red, yeah.
It's like, you know what's really gonna piss off my parents?
The opie look.
Wendy's!
Yeah, could it be?
Could it be any more wild than that?
All of the colors you chose red.
So he came home and was like, hey, mom and dad, what do you think?
Prince Harry?
No!
I'm a rebel!
My cause is dyeing my hair!
Okay.
My husband found pictures when I was a redhead and immediately started showing everyone and tried to get everyone to pressure me to dye my hair red.
I refused to at first and told him it was never going to happen.
Fast forward to five years later and we were married for just over a year.
I continued to get harassed by him to dye my hair red and he has tried many times over the years to convince my hairdressers to dye my hair red.
I finally decided why not and dyed my hair red after five years of him bugging me.
Have I played into his redhead fetish?
Yes.
Am I causing him to stumble by having done this?
Not necessarily.
I was blonde when we got married, so technically he married a blonde, my natural color.
But now that I'm a redhead again, it's hard to dye my hair back, and I kind of like it.
Okay, couple things.
Let me be clear about this.
If you like your hair red and he likes your hair red, that's not a problem.
That being said, I have talked about this.
Many times.
Blonde?
Brunette?
That's a preference.
Redhead is a fetish.
I don't know what it is with those people, but only a redhead will do.
I have an aunt who is a complete redhead.
One of my best friends in high school had a little sister who was a redhead.
And for some reason, people think that all boundaries go away when a man who likes redheads encounters a redheaded woman.
And that's where the catcalling is really uncomfortable.
Like, my best friend had his—we had the same French teacher.
And then he had his little sister the next year.
He's an all-man blank.
I don't want to say her name.
He said, oh, she's got that beautiful fiery red hair.
She's 15.
Well, he was 16.
And he would come up to my aunt and be like, oh my gosh, just that hair.
What I wouldn't do to be with someone without those kinds of locks.
And I get they think they're being complimentary, but it's creepy.
It's very creepy.
That's a little creepy.
There's a difference between blonde, brunette.
People who like blondes can date brunettes.
People who like brunettes can can date blondes. My preference often was brunette, but I've
mostly dated blondes. But people who like redheads, only a redhead will do. Period.
End of story. And it's weird.
It's very weird. Because it's a recessive gene. It should just go away. It's a mutation.
It seems like she's being a little prideful here. Like, I'm blonde and you married a blonde.
Actually, I like my hair red, but I don't think I should be.
Well, no, the fact that you were trying to convince her hairstylist unbeknownst to her.
Oh, come on.
Have you ever seen a woman's hair being dyed?
It can't happen on accident.
She'll know something is going on.
She could be thinking she's getting highlights, and then she comes out looking like she should have a dubstep CD.
Wouldn't happen.
I don't know.
I think it was more sarcastic, like he was jokingly trying.
He probably wanted it, but what's the problem with that?
If he's saying, hey, I see a picture of you having red hair, you say you like red hair, I think it would be fun if you dyed your hair red, but be able to go back and forth if you like it, not have to mess with him.
I think it would be a problem if, for example, there was all of this sort of Game of Thrones behind the scenes, where, you know, and you can dye her hair red unbeknownst to her.
She takes the Iron Throne.
Like, that's a problem!
And if you guys had an inactive sex life or something where you seemed like he didn't desire you because you didn't have red hair, that might have been a problem.
But it seems to me like he was attracted to you when you were blonde.
He married you when you were blonde.
He just liked your hair red.
I have certain ways that I like my wife to do her hair.
And sometimes that's different.
Sometimes women like to do their hair in a way that impresses other women, but men don't really like.
Or it's lost on us.
Yeah, or it's lost on us.
For example, when my wife goes out and she straightens her hair and does this, I'm like, you know, she's like, you don't like it?
It's kind of wispy.
She goes, what do you mean, wispy?
I go, I just think it's nice when you put it up, which is easier for you.
She goes, well, that's easier for me, so I'll just do that.
I go, well, just do that!
Perfect!
I like that!
That's all good.
So there are preferences.
For example, I'd never seen my wife in glasses until a little bit.
And then I went, oh, hello.
The glasses are nice.
My wife has glasses.
Glasses, it's nice.
I don't know what it is.
It's a nice thing, glasses.
It's an accent.
So if it's just sort of something that he thinks makes you look sexier, more attractive, I don't think, and you enjoy your hair red.
Yeah.
I wouldn't make a big thing about it.
If he is fixating on it, then it could be a problem, but it doesn't sound like a problem.
It might be a problem if she goes back to blonde and there's like some kind of tension.
Well, but it sounds like she's, she would only do it just to make sure she can go back to blonde.
She's like, I'm going to go back to blonde.
Even though I love being a redhead, I'm going to go back to blonde just to show him that I could go back.
Just stop.
That's an ego thing.
Just stop.
Don't, if you want to go back to blonde, do it, because if you're ready to move on, that's fine.
But if you're doing it just to piss him off, to show him I can go back to blonde if I want to.
Stop.
I dress for my wife, by the way.
Stop!
I don't care what I wear.
I dress whatever my wife likes.
Yes.
Because I don't really care.
As long as it doesn't change my style or anything like that, you know, as long as I'm not all of a sudden, you know, coming in assless chaps.
If my wife says, hey, I like that shirt on you.
No, you were already wearing those before.
If my wife says, hey, I like those jeans on you, or hey, I like that shirt on you, why would I ever not wear it?
Right, exactly.
To prove a point, like, I will never wear this Henley again.
You're not the boss of me.
No, it's stupid.
It's ego.
You'll get less sex.
Why would you do that?
You should dress for your spouse.
Right.
You should say, what will my spouse think is most attractive?
And still, obviously, be your own person.
But don't let ego enter the equation here.
If you don't like being a redhead, then change it to blonde.
And if your husband doesn't love you anymore, that's a problem.
Doesn't sound like that's what's going on here.
I wouldn't make a big deal about it.
And I would show him that redheads are fiery and do all kinds of weird stuff.
Whoa.
There you go.
I mean, you know, like, bake, like, you know, like, add, like, an oatmeal raisin, but, like, add, like, a filbert.
Ooh, that's weird.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, live life on the wild side.
Or maybe a Brazil.
You know what I mean?
Maybe, like, you could put, like, a, like, or maybe you make, like, a pecan pie, but you try it with cashews.
You know what I'm saying?
And do it in nothing but an apron.
That's my point.
Thank you so much.
This has been Life Advice.
I am your guru.
Until next time.
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