Everyone Hates Gov. Whitmer (D-MI) | #9 Good Morning MugClub
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Not until I've had my second cup of coffee, said the unfunny mom on Pinterest.
That's not how memes are used!
Take that, moms.
Everyone's always jockeying for positions with the moms.
They are.
Like, oh, we hope the moms tune in.
I hope you never watch this show.
The most caffeine addicted or the most alcoholic mom, I think.
The most statistically likely to be abusive toward their children.
Right, yeah.
I do like the accusation that men are just the only ones that are hyper-competitive and then you get on Pinterest and you're like, you get on Facebook or Pinterest and all that distressed wood sign on your wall.
Well, men are hyper-competitive about things that matter.
Women are hyper complaining.
You see those shorts?
Oh, dang.
Boom!
Coming out fighting, baby.
Hey, by the way, I didn't introduce you guys yet.
It's good morning Mug Club, by the way.
Hashtag Mug Club quarantine is the hashtag.
Yes, it is.
Of course, the promo code is quarantine.
You get $30 off.
I'm going to give a little bit of echo.
Where's the snap?
I don't got no snare in my headphones.
I don't know.
I'm getting a little bit of weird echo.
Does everyone else sound good?
You sound great, mate.
We're flying without a net!
We'll be taking your chat today.
Who needs nets?
Especially when you're flying.
Nothing but net is a phrase that women are unfamiliar with because they don't compete in the arena of sports well.
Well, I said.
That's two Jebs.
Well.
Well.
He's on a roll.
Quarantine is the promo code $30 off, and of course we're giving everything away for free this month, and we're only two weeks in.
I only looked at a schedule last, and then I spilled water all over myself here.
Did you?
Yeah.
That's why we don't give you four cups of water.
We have Brian Cowan on the show today.
That's a big deal.
We'll be talking about quite a bit.
We'll be talking about Michigan.
We will also get into what I think is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Really?
And I'm going to try and not laugh.
I'll get to that in a second.
Anything else?
What else do we have?
livewithcrowder.com slash schedule for all of the scheduled content.
We have a live stream next Tuesday with a press briefing because we want to do the job that the media does not do.
Somebody's got to pick up the slack.
And I don't know what else.
Is there something that I'm missing?
I feel like I just keep getting plugs that are added that I need to make sure that I hit.
I think you've hit just about.
Maybe Crowder Bits.
Did you plug that?
Oh, that's right.
Audio Wade is half gay.
Oh, yeah.
We were playing gay chicken, like Rebel Without a Cause before the show.
He just went all the way through it because he thought it proved his masculinity.
I'm not sure.
It just proved he was gay.
That's weird.
I'm not going to yes-and that.
Sorry.
That's fine.
You don't have to yes-and that.
It's not an improv game.
My heart goes out to him.
Right.
If we had only known.
Because we make a lot of jokes about him.
We did not.
Behind his back.
And now it turns out that they weren't really jokes.
We will be talking about Governor Whitmer, Michigan.
He's not.
His wonderful wife is watching.
Brian Callen.
What else do we have?
We have a COVID update.
But first, I guess this is making the rounds right now, this morning.
Dr. Phil, he's trending because he talked about the need to open the economy, and I guess people are really furious.
He's trending right now on Twitter, which, let's knock that out with Mug Club Quarantine.
Let's watch.
250 people a year die from poverty, and the poverty line is getting such that more and more people are going to fall below that because the economy is crashing around us.
And they're doing that because people are dying from the coronavirus.
I get that, but look, the fact of the matter is... Alright, let's finish that clip.
I don't want to watch any more of him.
Here's the thing.
I want to see... It's kind of like Bill O'Reilly does his podcast now.
No one wants to see sad webcam Dr. Phil.
I need to work on the lighting there.
He's one of the guys, he needs to be very well produced.
And Bill O'Reilly, he needs a Jim Henson Muppeteer.
Like, him and Larry King should have the same guy.
He just, you know, does a little bit of weekend Bernie's.
There's a level of experience that comes with having done, you know, the puppeteering for Larry King.
You just can't recreate that out of nowhere.
And you would think there's a level of experience in hosting a show.
Maybe.
That where you would improve, but Larry King just bucks all the trends.
I think it's a deliberate.
He is so bad.
And I know Dave Rubin loves him and they're good friends, but like, I sit there and I just can't watch it.
It's a niche.
There's a lot of people.
Do you ever see his interview with Tom Green?
No.
Tom Green!
Freddie got fingered.
Was that a mistake?
What?
What does that mean?
No, Tom Green, you're not American.
No, I'm Canadian.
Deep.
What?
Tell me about that.
This is the iconic American host?
Exactly.
I don't know.
He just leans in and looks old at you.
Here's also my question for you guys.
We'll be taking your chat, of course, live on Blaze, only for Mug Club members.
Leave your name because the chat doesn't let you enter in a name.
Before this crisis, How much power were you afraid of the government wielding, and has that changed at all?
I'm sensing a shift in the tides now where people are going, ooh, there's a little bit of an overreach here.
Even people who before were saying, you know, you need to stay home and quarantine and not do anything and we should shut down the entire economy, now I see a lot of people going like, oh, okay.
We were maybe a little wrong about that.
When you try, when you arrest people for kissing in public, this is one thing.
If I were to get arrested or get a ticket by a police officer for kissing my wife on a park bench, I mean, I'm not, I'm not an exhibitionist.
I would just, I would just, I just, I would just have sex with my wife on the bench in front of the, it would be spite sex.
But then I think he would actually have a legal case against you.
He would, but the point is, it would be in the record books.
It would be an act of disobedience and intensely pleasurable for me.
Civil disobedience at its finest.
Sorry, Wade, about the gay thing.
I just want to make sure that AudioWay knows so it comes back in.
It doesn't feel slighted.
Well, when he gets home and his wife starts asking probing questions, he'll call you then.
Go to a public park.
Kiss her on the bench, wait for the police officer, and then make sure he has a body cam.
And then as Milton Berle told Richard Pryor, pick your spots, Ken.
Well, you focused on the half gay, I mean, half straight also.
It's like 50-50.
Yeah, exactly.
Which one are you focusing on here?
So speaking of getting a ticket in a public park, did you guys see the one where there was a runner on a beach and a cop started running up next to him and the guy just starts gradually pulling away and then kicks the afterburner?
The cop's just like, ah, hell.
There's no way I can keep up with that guy.
This is embarrassing for my power trip ridden ego.
It was awesome.
Wow.
He pulled away just enough to where the cop realized, oh, crap, I'm not going to catch him, but it was still expending energy, and then just kicked it in.
We're going to have my dad on here to tell stories, and one of the stories that he can tell famously is of my grandfather, who was named Dean, and then his son, who was also named Dean.
There's like 19 Deans.
He was smoked, he smoked, drank.
What are you looking for, audio-ed?
He's looking for Looking back like he lost his marbles in Neverland.
I did.
I lost my marbles in Neverland.
What did you drop?
Let us in on it.
I dropped a bottle of Topo Chico.
Does that mean it's flooding?
No, it was empty.
You dropped a bottle of Mexican water amidst a pandemic.
In a studio that has been critical of Mexico, it seems.
So really quick, before we go on with anything else, here is a clip.
We are going to tune back to this later in the show, and you can place your bets.
I want to see if I can hold a straight face, okay?
No laughter whatsoever.
I will say this.
I have never laughed this hard in my life.
I was watching a special with my wife, and it was one of those things that was incidental, where we were watching, you know, whatever.
The cue said, like, are you sure you want to watch this?
I'm like, eh.
It's not the Amy Schumer special.
It's Ozark 3.
There you go.
Don't make me feel bad about my decisions.
And it wasn't that.
It was Hulu.
And then there was a 2020 special on that Elizabeth Holmes.
I keep wanting to say Granholm.
That was the previous Michigan... Wait, was Elizabeth Granholm Texas?
I don't know.
I think she was Michigan governor.
I don't know.
It wasn't Texas.
No, it was definitely Michigan.
Now it's Whitmer.
And there was a 2020 special because there's a film, someone can tell me, there was a documentary on HBO about Theranos.
Do you know what it was called?
I don't recall, but I recall the documentary.
It was excellent.
Yeah, it was great.
I thought more of that.
This is going to be a 2020 special.
I used to like John Stossel.
Give me a break, you know, after TGI Friday.
And, um, instead, I was just sitting there watching it, and I forewarn you, I'm wearing disturbing pajamas in this clip, and this pops up in a special that I, I, you ever, have you ever laughed accidentally on an inward, like on a breathe-in?
Dangerous.
That's what I thought, I actually googled, can you die from laughter?
We'll tune back in.
Allegedly, you can.
It's possible?
I don't know, but it's tough to determine the cause of death.
No, they label it COVID.
Oh, they do.
Dang it.
Bill, I had that in my mind.
I was about to... No.
Not quick enough?
Not quick enough.
Not with you in the room, that's for sure.
And he's half drunk.
Yeah.
Seriously.
Can we get him fully drunk, please?
So, here's a clip of what I was laughing at at home, then we are going to play a portion of this later in the show today, just to see if it was, you know, if it was a byproduct of circumstances where I was tired, I had had a beer, maybe two, sometimes I live life on the edge.
But this is what went down last Friday.
Here you go.
And I'm not going to listen or watch.
The opportunity is altruistic.
potentially humankind changing. So to be clear, now I can put the context, it was just that they were
interviewing people, you know, this is John from Theranos and this is so-and-so from Esquire
magazine. I'm like, this is Angie Areola who helped design the iPhone and it's what I can
only describe, I didn't watch this now because I didn't want to ruin it again, ruin it for later,
as a guess who character.
With male pattern baldness, a half-gray perm, day madnet glasses, clown makeup, and in the first shot looks like an amputee.
And he's just like, you know, Elizabeth Holmes, I knew something was going on.
And they move on back to like Sal from Hoboken.
Everything is... I don't know if they assumed everyone in America wasn't going to catch that.
Like, wait, hold on a second.
You mean the Guess Who character with the half-grey perm and the Daymen the glasses?
Named.
And I think someone in the editing bay must have been like, you gotta be shitting me.
But they figured it's so important that we have to thrust this as normal.
There are people like Blaire White, where you would say she.
I use she because if I saw Blaire White in public, I'd be like, oh yeah, that lady over there.
Then there's the barely passable.
And then there's Angie Nipple, by the way.
The name of the areola is Nipple.
And they never address them.
It's been such a weird month, I had to check my calendar.
It's not April 1st.
Right.
This is a real thing.
Hey, it's possible they filmed it on April 1st and Angie is at home laughing.
The greatest guess who troll of all time.
I'm excited.
Does your character have a half gray perm and hormone replacement therapy?
I win!
It's not like anybody's in this.
Okay, so I want to take some bets here.
I think I think Steven dies when he watches it later.
I don't know.
$5 says he chokes to death on his laughter.
I don't know.
It's tough.
I'll do my best to try and keep a straight face.
Someone thinks he's not going to die.
I don't think he's going to die.
I'm assaulted.
I think he will still be alive at the end of this show.
I don't know.
I'll do away to hate you.
But we will do it after.
That's a hate crime.
It's a half hate crime.
Bill, the gun is closest to you, so I guess you can affect this bet.
We're very careful about that.
Also, before we move on to talking about government overreach here, I will be giving away a stimulus check, because I don't need it.
Is it $1,200?
I think it depends, but it's $1,200.
So, just what you need to do is follow me at, I think, ladderwithcrowder on Instagram, because someone else has stevencrowder on Instagram.
Yeah, they stole it.
And I'll be announcing the rules, where one of you will just receive the check, because I don't need it, and that's because you guys have supported us here, so we give back with content and cash money.
It's very nice of you.
Making it rain.
I don't even know what this means.
Well, I know what that means, but I don't know how this... Who ever actually does this for money outside of Floyd Mayweather?
It's very inefficient.
Have you ever gone... Because it actually knocks the whole stack out of your hand.
I've tried this a few times.
Yeah, I was gonna say, have you ever paid at it?
Like, I've never gone to a quick trip.
Yeah.
And paid this way.
Which, by the way, is very rude.
Because at Quick Trip they allow you to use Apple or Samsung Pay.
Unlike 7-Eleven, which is much more comparable to a prison in Kandahar.
I don't know how 7-Eleven still exists.
Quick Trip, you want to sponsor this show because I live for you.
Well, I will agree with you.
You don't have to enter your PIN number at all.
I know it's redundant.
QuickTrip has it down.
At QuickTrip, you do it, you're gone.
It's COVID-friendly.
At 7-Eleven, you have to enter that.
Not only that, you have to say if you want cash back or not.
Who still does that?
I know!
And sometimes I know I don't even have any cash, and I just say cash back just to make it longer at a 7-Eleven out of spite because I don't even want to be stuck there.
Hey, look, this guy has a hairline that is all the way down to his eyebrows.
Let's see what he has to say.
How are they getting some snow?
Look at that.
Look at this coalition of people that say, oh, when they bump into each other.
There they go, they have the death toll up there.
No mention of the fact that 3,700 added this week were just wild guesses.
Yeah, maybe!
2,200 of them were just people watching the ABC special on 2020 who saw Angie Areola.
Died laughing and hit add to count.
Oh no!
Right.
So I want to talk about this a little bit.
I know no one here is from Michigan.
But this has been a big deal, and I think it's sort of emblematic of where the country is going.
We've been remarkable.
We've tried to be as consistent as possible in addressing the coronavirus, wu flu, kung flu, whatever.
Kung flu, I think, is the funniest.
I noticed that Donald Trump doesn't say Chinese virus anymore.
I think he made the point.
People were like, all right, look.
I think he moved on.
Yeah.
You can say something else.
He moved on to presenting videos.
Uh, but Michigan, they've had some of the worst laws.
Not only the most stringent laws, but also the most inconsistent laws.
Laws that don't really make a whole lot of sense.
Oh, she's on television right now!
Is that Whitmer?
Oh god, let's see.
That being said, that man will never go bald.
Look at that.
That's gonna take a while.
That's like a reverse Guess Who wig.
His receding hairline is my full head of hair.
He is amazing.
That is unbelievable.
He's luscious.
Wow, it's like he had plugs and they overdid it.
I'd like you to stop right about here.
Are you sure?
Come all the way down.
What's this here?
That's your ass hair.
Is that like, sod, but for your head, right?
Where you're like, clearly you over-grassed it.
Right, he just pulls it back.
Oh, I am jealous.
He will never.
Look, I got this Bela Lugosi thing here going on.
Which the thing is too, I can't get haircuts right now.
Right.
So my hair gets long and so I was like, oh, let me brush it back.
And then I get the Nicolas Cage.
I get the look of like the, you know.
And then he becomes psychotic.
It's terrible.
Did you just look down your nose with your eyes wide open?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
I'd like to get my hair taken off.
So.
She's like a little off the top.
Yes, that's what I want.
So, Michiganders, they protested Governor Whitmer, and she banned any—and by the way, I love how they just arrest protesters in some of these places.
They're protesting the government overreach, and like, well, we're going to use the power of the government to put you in jail for protest.
Like, that's how that works?
What a brilliant ploy!
It's proved to the point, thank you.
So I can't protest your illegal action because you've made it illegal?
That doesn't make a lot of sense.
I'm incredibly confused, but not really because you're a communist.
I'm going to tell you, it's an effective technique.
Ask the Chinese.
Your people do it well.
Right.
Yeah, they have two doors.
They have whistleblowers and other.
Yes.
And then they just both wrap around to the same place, and you just go into a pit that goes nowhere.
That's not fun.
No, it has spikes in it.
It has spikes in it?
I don't know.
I didn't think they could do that.
I thought it was just a repurposing of the whole Doug to China.
And so they were just like, put them back.
You send them a couple of golf balls or whatever it is with the whole to China.
We send you Whistleblower.
Be sure to cough!
Say hello, be sure to cough!
You know what I love is there's gonna definitely be some, like, angry geologist in the audience who's, like, furiously typing out a comment that's like, That's not how it works.
There's a magma in the center of the Earth.
Right, and you can't dig through it.
He probably thinks the Earth is a sphere.
So, let's go to a clip here.
Is this actual Whitmer herself?
Let's go to first this clip so that you understand Michigan, what's going on a little bit, then we'll talk about it.
Tonight, thousands descending on Michigan's capital in Lansing to protest the governor's current stay-at-home rules.
Blocking traffic, honking their horns to protest some of the strictest rules in the country.
Animals!
How dare they?
Horns!
Blocking traffic.
They are traffic.
Yeah, they are traffic.
As a matter of fact, they are the only traffic.
Also, dramatic reductions in capacity for stores big and small.
They're in their cars honking.
per thousand therapy?
Have you seen people like these are, there was actually an article I think in the New
York Times, I can maybe bring it up, it said it's official, the quarantine or the social
distancing deniers are here.
Oh my god.
They're in their cars honking.
Yes.
They couldn't be more amenable to your demands and their protests.
They're doing it from an F-150.
Probably with a mask on!
Yeah, and if you read the stories, it says almost everyone stayed in their cars, a handful of people got out of their cars and were holding signs and waving flags, and the thing that they hated the most is that they handed out candy to children and they didn't have on gloves.
Sickos.
How dare they.
Disgusting.
That was quoted in two different articles that I read as like the height of... Hey, hey, but he's running for president.
Let Joe Biden hand out the candy.
This is true.
That's a missed opportunity on his part.
He could have sniffed a lot of kids.
He set up a kissing booth.
A sniffing booth?
He would rather, but they tell him, like, Joe, listen, take the W, okay?
They let you set up a kissing booth.
Just do that.
Sniffing is not, maybe our culture will get there someday.
It's just not there.
But we're not there yet.
Are we going to normalize that too?
Don't try and push progress too quickly, Joe.
Because parents think it's weird.
You know, CNN, you know, listen to what they said, right?
They said these are the strictest in the country, right?
So people are, I've seen people posting about this on social media, they're like, oh, I can't believe these people are just upset about social distancing.
No, go read the rules!
Go look at them!
It's not only the most strict, they are the stupidest rules.
And by the way, shout out to the sheriff of Leelanau County, where he said, we're not going to do this because we're not going to infringe on your constitutional rights.
And every single person, by the way, you can look at the Donald Trump three-phase plan, we'll get to that in a little bit, it's very reasonable.
It's about quarantining those who are vulnerable, making sure they are not exposed, keeping schools closed, not allowing huge gatherings, keeping them to 10 or less initially, and then gradually expanding.
And this is something else, too.
I was watching the press briefing last night.
Yeah.
And some reporter, talk about a leading question, asks Donald Trump, he says,
well how are people going to deal with the new normal?
You know, for example, at a stadium, if they have 100,000 seats, it'll have to be 60.
He goes, no, excuse me, excuse me, that's, there's not going to be a new normal.
They're going to be back to full seats.
People are like, oh my gosh, can you believe this?
Can you, do you understand what that would do to people's business?
Yeah.
You, to cut their profit capabilities by 40% because of the sniffles?
I get it's worse than the sniffles.
I'm exaggerating to make a point, but I don't really care.
I'm not going to apologize anymore.
COVID doesn't scare me that much compared to the unemployment and crippling effects.
Do you know what would happen to restaurants if they can't allow people to be there?
Do you know what would happen to colleges?
Imagine Notre Dame.
Imagine UT.
Imagine SMU.
Oh, you can only have 50% capacity.
Right now, sure.
But forever?
They assume, and this is by design, just like the ABC special, they want to ask that question.
So it looks like Donald Trump is fighting against the current by saying, no, no, no, eventually we're going to get back to normal.
And they want to make that seem like he's an animal.
He's right, of course.
You don't run a business.
You must have no idea how thin profit margins are.
And people stay up all night with TurboTax, for all I know.
I don't know what program they use.
I have a guy, Bill recommended him to me.
Take great care in addressing these numbers, and you just want to cut it in half?
You moron!
Yeah, well, WNBA is actually in favor of this.
It would increase attendance.
They're happy for this.
They have a weed cannon.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, do you remember when, in 1918, the pandemic killed millions of people around the world, how we banned all public gatherings forever after that point, and had no football games, and no theater attendance, and no restaurants open, and we all just shut down and died?
That didn't happen.
It killed millions of people around the world, and we didn't do these things.
The intonation was that you meant the opposite of that.
Man, see, sometimes... I see what you were saying there.
And the same when people talk about Dr. Fauci.
Listen.
When we're talking about a problem that is all-encompassing, and I will say at this point, the economic impact, and by the way, because of the economic impact, it has an even greater toll on the health impact of the country.
When you look at suicide, when you look at mental health, when you look at people who are more likely to develop addictions, or people, frankly, who are just more likely to become unhealthy because they're not nearly as active, especially if you're arresting people for going out jogging with their wives in parks.
If you are arresting a man for jogging alone on the beach, you are telling people, That short of having a home gym, they can't take part in any physical activity.
Yeah.
So this is unreal to me, at this point, that they want to suggest... Fauci, great.
Got it.
He's not taking into account any of the economic ramifications.
No.
Just like you wouldn't ask exclusively an economist what we should do for social distancing.
Right.
He's an expert in social distancing.
Just like cigars.
We've talked about it on the show.
If you ask a doctor, And I've asked this to a doctor.
Okay, never smoke.
Got it.
What about cigars?
What about a cigar a day or a couple cigars a week?
Well, you should never smoke.
What are the actual risks of me smoking a couple of cigars a week?
You should never smoke.
What are the risks?
Statistically, there's actually a 0% mortality increase or of any cancers combined.
The FDA releases a statement if you have a couple of cigars a week.
But you should never smoke.
I didn't ask your opinion.
I asked the risks so I can make an assessment and make a decision.
And right now we have very real numbers.
22 million people filing for unemployment.
I get it.
You like the doctor.
You like to accuse Republicans of being anti-science.
But guess what?
We do have to take into account the fact that people have no ability to live at this point.
So you can't only ask the doctor, is what I'm saying.
You need all different kinds of input.
And for some reason, this is the elitism from the left.
They mock Donald Trump.
If he has anyone on his board of reopening the economy, I think Tim Cook's on the board, if I'm not mistaken.
Right.
And look, Dr. Fauci, like you said, he's one voice in this fight, and you want him focused on what he's doing.
Somewhere Billy Gilman saying, my single is effective.
No.
He's focused on the medical side of this.
That's exactly where we want his focus.
We want him saying what he's saying.
But he's not the only person that gets to chime in and say, here's what the entire problem looks like for us.
We have a commander-in-chief who does not turn over the keys to the doctors in these situations for a reason.
You can't.
No, you can't do it.
Because otherwise, he's going to look at a situation much differently and say, the economics be damned, we have to stop this virus.
And that's exactly what you want him to do.
But then you want the economists to come along and say, yes, but it has to be proportional to the threat.
Business owners.
Anybody who has a different perspective.
This is something people say.
Bail out people, not corporations.
Hold on a second.
Who employs people?
Who runs a business?
I don't understand what that means.
If you bail out a business, that's so that you can have a sustainable way.
Do you realize if you just give someone a check, we know that doesn't work well.
Look at Native Americans.
Despite what my half-Asian lawyer's buddy Yang tries to tell you.
He's like, it works in Alaska.
They give them $200 a month and they use it for beer money.
People don't live on that.
You just give people money.
They have jobs otherwise.
No, you want to give them to people who can make sure that people remain employed so they have something to do after this economy.
Why is it that people who are doctors are the only authoritative experts, according to the left, but people who've created a business from the ground up and employ potentially dozens, hundreds, there's no merit?
There's no added societal value there?
God, it's remarkable to me.
I do find that this is an intriguing moment in history.
I will say this, you do both.
You do both.
He's a lawyer, so you did all the schooling, but you also started your own firm.
I did.
Right?
You could have taken, you could have been a clerk, you could have worked your way up and hoped that you became a partner at a big firm, but you started your own and I respect that.
How hard was that?
Really hard.
To do by yourself?
It's hard every day.
I mean, you know, I was fortunate to work with some good friends to start the firm and to build it up and, you know, to be where we are.
And it's a lot of fun to be able to work with people.
But I will say right now that the thing is really unique about where we are is normally, if you were concerned about the economy and you just were like, you know, I don't want to talk about the prevailing wisdom, you would probably do it at work, you do it at a bar, you do it at church, you do it with your buddies, whatever it may be.
But all the normal places that we would talk about those kinds of things, about I don't know if I really believe CNN or Governor Whitmer or all those things.
We don't have any of those.
Instead, the only place that we're looking right now, by and large, or we're allowed to look, is Facebook and Twitter.
And the voices on Facebook and Twitter are predominantly hysterical.
And I will tell you, it is actually people in my position who have the ability to work outside their office and don't have to have their workers come in.
Yeah.
during this time and can relatively still keep their business on that are
saying, well why can't you just stay home? But I will tell you that the vast
majority of people on the left and the right, when you actually talk to them
right now, are telling you why aren't we talking about opening the economy.
And the reason is because those people are suffering. If you work in
hospitality, restaurants, all of those different businesses and all the
businesses that support them. So when you're looking at the news right now,
when you're hearing people say, well it's very clear everyone's on board with
us keeping shut down until 2028 to kill this coronavirus.
It's just flat out wrong.
And you know what?
It's proof positive of, you know I've talked about this, if Republicans are the party of
the rich, well, okay listen, you still do need a majority or plurality depending if
there's a nadir that month.
You need a plurality of the vote.
Right.
Who's the other guy?
Ross Perot.
Ross Perot, there was one more.
Can't, Schweppes.
Got it.
But you need a plurality of the vote.
So for Republicans to be successful, it is in their interest to make you and keep you rich.
If Democrats are the party of the poor, and by the way, let's be really clear, not the middle class anymore.
The party of the poor, the party of the people who pay 47% of Americans who pay nothing in federal income tax, but they get federal transfers that amount to a negative 50 plus percent income tax rate.
They're the party of the poor.
They have a vested interest in keeping you poor.
So let's think about this for a second.
Right now, they don't want to ensure that the economy can continue, that people can be employed when they talk about everyday Americans.
They want to send you a temporary check so that hopefully you can be dependent on that check forevermore, and then they suggest universal basic income.
Right now, their solutions all involve relying on the government.
And they absolutely just shit-kicked the president for presenting a three-phase plan that couldn't be more reasonable and in line with working-class Americans.
And I wanted to ask you one more question, Bill.
You went to law school, right?
You're a very good lawyer.
He's a lawyer.
Lawyer.
And you started your own firm.
How many people do you think who went to law school with you who were also really good lawyers, do you think all of them could have done that?
I think there's definitely a smaller number of people who, and I even hear from my own classmates, the ones who are still working at larger firms or working in companies, they just say, look, there's a certain profile of folks who kind of have the skill, but also the kind of entrepreneurial risk-taking profile to be able to start a business.
And fortunately, I have partners who work with me who share that profile.
But there's a lot of folks where they just don't have that.
The answer is no.
He's just being very diplomatic.
It's a long way around.
It's a very tough slog.
He's trying to get the segment to be... I'm trying to pay him a compliment, and somehow I end up looking like a dick.
It's weird how that happens, often.
Here's the thing.
One, I'm going to see them at the reunion.
It'll be virtually.
Who knows if all this keeps going.
So I want to say that.
I want you to show up at that reunion more Asian than you left them, just to confuse them.
Be like, oh, Bill, how you doing?
How are you doing?
I went back to China.
I have good... Oh, yeah, I remember.
Oh, good.
And just see what they were like, what is this?
Is this Bill Richmond?
Is that Bill?
His name is Bill?
I'm gonna wear my Wuhan pin just like all around.
On your lab coat to Wuhan forever.
I'm gonna come with a stethoscope.
They'll be like, wait a minute.
Hold on.
You started a lab safety company over in Wuhan.
Dr. Jiang?
Was someone about to say something?
I was.
I can't help but wonder if this wasn't an election year, what the response would be from the left, right?
Because the thing that we all heard coming out of the State of the Union was that the economy was just roaring and there was absolutely no foothold.
And if you remember, Whitmer, she actually gave the Democrat response And all she could do is basically go, yeah, the economy's good, but, you know, it's not as good as it maybe, I don't know, could be.
There was no platform for the Democrats.
I can't help but wonder if dragging this out doesn't help them get there a little bit more.
Listen, she's telegenic, she's relatively sharp, but her response made Bobby Jindal's rebuttal to Barack Obama look like Winston Churchill.
Yeah, the only more cringe-worthy moment was when Rubio ran out of water in his mouth.
And he couldn't get the cup because he couldn't grab it with his hands.
He's like, hold on, like a kid.
He falls down below the camera line.
Somebody needs to tell him where the camera is.
He's like this.
And then Donald Trump goes, si, small marco.
So, okay, really quickly, by the way, Democrats also blocked an additional $250 billion in small businesses, small business aides calling it a stunt.
So again, anywhere that they could help the businesses who employ you, keep in mind, employers don't hate you.
They're actually looking to try and, because they need to keep you employed in order for them to be employed.
They were trying to make sure that it went to more minority-owned businesses and women-owned businesses.
Could you imagine if during the Great Depression, we have more unemployment than during the Great Depression?
Like, wait, wait, wait, we need to make sure there are more colored businesses.
Now I understand that we probably should have had more colored businesses back then, but that's because there were horrible racist laws.
My point is the priority at this point, when the playing field has been leveled, is to get all Americans back to work.
And black Americans, Asian Americans, Latinx will benefit more than just trying to focus on a... What was that?
I was saying, we're already working.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, you know, it's ironic.
I also love that half-Asian Bill is in a robe and double monk strap shoes.
Well, those are nice shoes.
No, we've got to go to Michigan.
We've got to go back to Michigan.
So we just showed you a clip.
This is probably going to go on Crowder Bits, but we can't even run the clip.
We just showed you the clip from Whitmer.
Let's not watch it again.
I don't want to watch anymore with Whitmer.
So here's the thing.
The laws not only were stringent, they were retarded.
It's a technical term, though.
It is.
She forced all businesses to close that had, like, nurseries.
I don't mean nurseries, plants.
Plants, yeah.
We should have different words for that.
Yeah, we should.
Tiling, carpet, departments had to shut down entire sections of their store.
But you can still buy weed in Michigan, just to be clear.
So you can go out and you can buy yourself some Spaceman Kush OG, but God forbid you try to pony up for a poinsettia.
Yeah.
Just to show you... Shows the priorities here.
And you can't use your boat in Michigan.
What?
So we have a video of a guy who's getting arrested jogging on the beach.
It's like, I'm walking here!
How far out do I have to go?
In Michigan, not at all.
You can't even go out to the water.
Which is odd, because that's also private property for people.
People don't understand this.
In Michigan, when you own waterfront property, I don't know exactly where, but it goes up like a slice of pizza.
Oh, really?
Like a slice of pizza, like a corner, where a certain portion of that is still considered a portion of your property, and then it's public, you know, because you're out there.
It's public, state run, I don't know the exact terminology, but here's the exception, a canoe is fine.
So, you can have a canoe or a rowboat, but you can't go out on a jet ski.
I just want to get away and go out in the middle of the lake by myself, with my wife perhaps, on my Boston Whaler, and you might see the Coast Guard.
Yeah.
What are you thinking?
But if they do pull you over in the middle of the lake, just tell them you're on your way to get an abortion.
Yes!
Go on your way, sir.
Is this one of those new water abortions?
It is.
I like the big canoe industry right now.
The big canoe lobby is out there going, you need a Coleman?
We got him.
There are two beneficiaries, Big Canoe and with Dr. Birx, Big Scarf.
Big Scarf is loving it right now.
That's awesome.
What else do we have?
Oh, this is something else to keep in mind, too, when we're talking about middle-class Americans.
The reason Michiganders are so upset, and I don't take political stances, but because I love Michigan so much, was born there, and then have lived there for a very long time, and have so much family there, I might just need to step in and do something to get this broad out of there, because I wasn't a huge fan of Snyder just because he was a wiener, but he still was so much better than this lady right here.
Americans may not understand this.
There's more coastline in Michigan than I believe any other state, maybe outside of Florida, more than California.
People understand because it's fresh coast.
And if you've never been to the Great Lakes, particularly Lake Michigan, like in northern Michigan, for example, Leelanau County, where the sheriff said, hey, Whitmer, It's beautiful.
It looks like the Mediterranean.
You have vineyards rolling down into the water.
I can attest to this.
I got married up there.
And this is working class.
They have an unbelievable, disproportionate number of Americans, of Michiganders, who
have second homes in Michigan.
I think they have the number of 265,000 seasonal vacation homes.
So it's not like California or Florida where you have this beautiful penthouse and these condos.
These people have cottages in the lake.
They go ice fishing.
This is the culture in Michigan.
When they say you cannot travel between two homes, that's one of the rules right now.
For some reason, you can travel out of state.
So if you have, for some god-awful reason, a summer home in Illinois...
I love seeing the full moon over the cornfields and the oil refineries.
For some reason, you can leave the state, but you can't travel from, let's say, Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo up to Traverse City, Michigan.
You're not allowed to.
Most Michiganders, this is what they do.
They don't go on vacation, a lot of them.
They have a small home, cottage, on a lake somewhere, and they look forward to it all year.
They go there.
Usually it runs in the family.
My wife, It's tradition.
Her grandfather built a home with his bare hands up on Lake Michigan before there were power lines.
Was he Amish?
No, he wasn't Amish.
Can you believe that?
Think about that.
This man was a bombardier in World War II.
He built two homes with his own hands.
He was the mayor of Bloomfield Township, or city supervisor, and he was a professor.
He had a PhD.
Let's just get to building two homes.
You couldn't pay me enough to go on the second floor of a home that I built.
I would never trust it!
And she tried to pivot and she said, you know what, the UP right now is gonna, it's set to get 30 inches or so.
I'm like, seriously?
You just, you basically banked on the rest of the country not knowing that there's a difference between UP and Northern Michigan.
Sorry!
That's why we forfeit our God-given rights!
Because of a dusting!
Yes, but the UP is not the thing going on right now.
Most people are not going that far.
They're going to Traverse City and they're going up, like you said, to Leelanau County and places like that.
So stop making that comparison.
This is why they've had these protests.
It affects a lot of Michiganders who work hard and play hard.
Ted Nugent has talked about this.
That is the culture there.
It's having a lake house.
It's passed down through generations.
It's not super crazy expensive, as it is in other states.
It's always more expensive now that it's becoming more popular.
Something else, too.
This is what really bothers me.
She claims that Donald Trump—this is Whitmer, Michigan.
Remember the name.
Remember the name, folks!
Whitmer.
You heard it here.
When it comes down to voting, just whatever is not Whitmer.
I have no idea.
Don't vote Whitmer.
She said that Donald Trump withheld federal aid, by the way, with no receipts.
And then banned and threatened, prohibited doctors from prescribing hydroxychloroquine.
Oh, wow.
You know she probably has like a morning briefing from Salon and Slate because they're like, we have to team up against hydroxychloroquine because it seems like it's working.
She banned it outright and then begged and lobbied Donald Trump to send some from the Federal Reserve afterwards.
No, there was a miscommunication.
When we said we were prohibiting doctors, what we meant was, send some.
I really wish that he would have been like, uh, you know, I'm really sorry.
We can't go ahead and send it.
No, sorry, governor.
We can't do it.
Just to screw with it for like a day as it's on its way there.
Right.
And we have Brian Callan.
Is that what I'm hearing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hold on one second.
I want to run one last clip.
Um, this, uh, this brought also, uh, this is something funny to me.
She's clearly auditioning for VP of Joe Biden.
Who's this on?
China revises Wuhan death toll by up.
Oh, a little bit of revision.
Who's that kid?
By 50%.
Still essentially shut down.
With a 6% death rate.
Daniel Radcliffe's little brother?
No, he looks like a comedian named Daniel... Brian Callen can probably, when he comes on, I can ask him that comedian who talks like this.
Say, Dan something man.
Dan Savage man.
I don't know.
But we'll find out who he is.
This is completely irrelevant.
So here's another thing that she did.
She said she didn't have time for politics.
And a lot of people buy this, pardon me, buy this shit when people say, like, I don't have time for politics, you know, as though everybody doesn't have some kind of a political persuasion.
And then she'll, so because she doesn't have time for politics, and she's most concerned with the citizens of Michigan, a huge portion of whom have second homes and now can no longer use their jet ski.
She decided to go on Trevor Noah's program and wear this hat because Donald Trump referred to her as that woman from Michigan, which clearly got her goat.
I assume a lot of Michiganders have small farms and goats, so it was an apt.
Definitely got her goat.
Analogy.
Here's a clip.
It's hard to talk with you or speak with you and not ask you about the comments the president made about you.
I think you have a shirt that might be exactly that.
Oh, a shirt.
Sorry, I was wrong.
That woman from Michigan.
uh...
an extremely dismissive statement yes uh... and one that sparked a conversation in my eyes
accommodation uh... i guess it is a lot of jokes with the admin dot has a
facial hair uh... that's still called terrible is a difficult for you
during this period shaded get rid of it i think it was at the same time trying
to deal with a crisis
i don't think any of us has energy to deal with politics right now
All of our energy, all of our focus has to be on meeting the needs of our people.
People are dying.
You just have the energy to go to Vistaprint and have a custom-made t-shirt, expedite shipping, so that you can go on Trevor Noah's show and talk about... Non-political show.
By the way, no one remembers your name.
You're relatively inconsequential.
Now we will.
You're welcome.
Now people will remember who you are because we don't like you.
I don't have time for politics, but here's my shirt that you can now buy at whitmerforreelection.com.
Make a donation.
Oh my god, I hope she loses so badly.
When Michigan went for Donald Trump, I was so surprised and thrilled.
You know, I called that one wrong.
Yeah.
Big time.
I think everybody did.
No, not like me.
Big swing and a miss on my part.
I didn't take into account... I was trying to give you some cover there and you just ran out.
I don't want the cover.
I don't want the cover.
I deserve to get my cover.
You ran out from under that cover.
I want you to curb stomp me and dribble my head like a basketball.
Who's the Washington Wizards?
In other words, don't dribble so well like the Harlem Globetrotters, but wizard level.
You don't want to be head-dribbling.
I deserve it!
I didn't take into account Western Michigan and how much they hate people like this, and Northern Michigan, like the sheriff in Leelanau County, who said, no, we're not going to do that.
Do we have Brian Callen?
Or do we have to go to a traffic report?
We don't.
We don't have Brian Callen.
You know what?
If we don't have Brian Callen, I'm fine moving and we can have him on next week.
Are there issues getting him on Skype?
Yeah, I'm having trouble getting him on Skype.
Oh, OK.
Well, hey, Brian Callen, eat my butt!
Wow.
Edgy humor.
What?
I'm just kidding.
Did you just?
Hold on a second.
We want to open this up on the show?
Is that what we want to do?
Do we want to do a Gerald A. Roast?
This is the moment when I go from number three to number two.
I'm so excited.
This is what I've been waiting for.
I think Gerald just went number two.
Don't joke check me!
I was messing with you, sorry, I had to.
Don't joke check me, you gray sandpaper jawed son of a bitch.
That was really bad.
Now you threw me off my game!
No, he's in my head!
I'm unfunny by osmosis!
It was bad, but at least it was long.
Take your square jaw and classic good looks out of here.
He does have a square jaw.
We actually do have a traffic report we can... Okay, you know what?
Before we move on, let's go to a traffic report right now with Thomas Finnegan.
Again, we want to keep you updated.
All right.
Here to keep us updated, all of you on your morning commute, because we know that things
change and they're apt to change right now with the quarantine, is our on-location reporter,
traffic reporter Thomas Finnegan.
Thomas Finnegan, what do you have for us, sir?
Good morning, Steven.
I took the chopper out this morning.
Okay.
Can't see a whole lot.
Right, yeah.
Well, it seems unnecessary to take the chopper out, so what are you seeing and why did you take the chopper?
Looking back, it was a poor decision.
It's, uh, it's overcast.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sounds like you're high up there.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
Come on back down and maybe we'll call you back later and maybe we won't.
All right.
That's been the Traffic Update here with Thomas Finnegan.
Thank you again, ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate it.
All right.
I'm not gonna lie, if there was a low-hanging fruit of a job to go get right now, it would be Thomas Finnegan's job.
Yeah, he doesn't put a lot of effort into it.
Followed closely by the weatherman because no one cares.
Right, exactly.
It's a huge waste of resources too, but I'd do it.
I'd fuel up the helicopter and go up.
It'd be kind of fun.
Yeah, it would be fun.
It seems very wasteful with no training.
It does not seem like Thomas Finnegan is particularly frugal.
I wouldn't let him fly.
No, no.
Spends the station's money well, though.
All right.
Hey, here's an unpopular opinion.
I was just talking about this.
And then they said don't talk about this, but I'm going to.
Well, we're talking about cops and overreach of power, okay, at this point.
And I've obviously backed the blue.
I think they've been maligned often, particularly when you go to, like, Black Lives Matter a lot, and you see that Dallas police officers were shot because of that kind of rhetoric.
And, you know, a good example of that is Mike Brown, right?
Hands up, don't shoot.
He not only—it wasn't hands up, don't shoot—he not only punched a cop, he was reaching into a cop car—oh, this did unbutton—reaching into a cop car, reaching for the holster, Like, I don't know about you, and this could be a blind spot as a white person, I can't imagine a scenario in which I don't get my ass kicked.
Yeah.
If that's not the line at which you forfeit your right to live, I don't know where it is.
Right.
And it's not something I'm happy about.
No, I don't want him to die.
You have to defend yourself.
It's not even a race issue.
I mean, there are stupid people of all races that do those kinds of things.
I never approach a police officer without going, Hey, officer!
Ha!
When he turns around, hey, ho, hands, look!
I'm here!
I'm over here!
I just wanted to know if I can give my wife a peck on the cheek.
Is that okay, officer?
We're not sure anymore.
I've never let alone walking in and punching a cop.
It's almost like I'm walking behind a horse.
You know, I just put my hand on his ass.
I'm like, hey, I'm coming around here, officer.
Just want to make sure that you know I'm here.
Don't work that holster to get unlatched.
No, the officers.
Because I also want to see if he's gay.
That's like your gay check is grabbing the ass?
No, it's like walking around.
It's not a grab.
It's a slide.
And you walk around from the left like a horse.
I feel like this is something Joe Biden would say to justify his behavior.
I feel like it's something Joe Biden wouldn't understand that I'm saying.
But then you look back on all and I do because there is a valid concern of police overreach and most police officers obviously are not interested in doing that but we have seen some instances like the man being arrested on the beach like people being arrested for kissing in a public park that's a real problem that being said I'm conflicted.
What's going on there, Audio?
You and Matty are arguing about something.
Just tell Brian Cowan we can't have him on.
Yeah, just no overlay.
He keeps coming back on.
I'd rather you be here with me, Audio.
Yeah, yeah.
He keeps calling back in like, please?
It's like you're doing that, what's that where you do the levitation from your own body when you're sleeping?
What's that called?
Possession?
Astral projection.
Astral projection, yes.
He's not even here anymore.
But I realize I usually do tend to side with police officers just because you see them get a rough Deal.
A good example, actually, this is something everyone's going to get mad at me, flower power.
Remember that famous picture?
Do we have that picture?
Can we bring that up?
The flower power picture?
With the person putting the, what was it, a daisy?
Something like that.
In the rifle of a gun.
And that's one of those things where I think I'm the only person who, when I see it, I'm like, I want that next frame to be that daisy being blown out.
Through the person who got... Look at that!
Look at that!
It's not only a flower in one gun, all the other rifles are filled with flowers!
Do you have any idea how much time that takes?
Especially because he's high, you know he's high, so you know there was a little bit of a...
There's some wobble going for sure.
And he misses it by a foot.
Everyone's sitting there like, look, look, a peaceful demonstration.
You're getting in that officer's personal space.
He's showing unbelievable restraint.
I want it to be like an old film reel of that, followed by uh, followed by he's off frame, and you just see just a puff of flour, of pollen.
It was like, sorry, he warned you after the fourth flower in the barrel of his gun that he didn't want someone high on shrooms getting close to him despite your turtleneck.
By the way, that guy?
That guy, he was the head of a drag theater troupe.
Really?
And then later on, yeah, later on died of AIDS.
Not that that's funny, but just like, this was clearly a guy who was looking to make a statement.
He was.
And that won a Pulitzer for photojournalism.
He's got nothing to lose, apparently, right?
And he didn't know that flowers don't stop bullets.
That's crazy.
It's a terrible rumor.
He wasn't shot.
I know that.
I just want to make sure, because I need to clarify, otherwise none of this is funny or acceptable.
I think everybody knows that guy didn't get shot.
Yeah, he got shot by the HIV virus.
Which, of course, AIDS, as you all know, HIV is a virus, and AIDS is a disease.
AIDS is nothing to laugh at.
Virus is kind of funny, though, because a virus is something you can beat.
So, and the HIV virus in North America, not obviously we, you know, get your treatment, Dallas Pirates Club, all that, but it's almost like the HIV in North America, considering the rate, if you, you know, if you don't have, if you don't have sex with strangers and, you know, gay sex with strangers in truck stops or shoot up heroin with dirty needles, your chance is statistically zero percent.
So it's like, it's almost like the virus, not the disease, because that's not funny, but the virus is entirely controllable, manageable.
It's almost like you fall asleep at a party and your friends drop penises on your face with Sharpies.
Is that what happens?
You just didn't know.
Because you have the Asian rosacea.
You fall asleep for a very long time.
The sloughing off of skin cells results in you just going, oh, I think I have a glow.
No, they drew sharpie.
They drew stuff on me, and it was funny.
OK.
All right.
So let's move on with the update here.
Oh, what's going on at CNN?
There's a guy with a... Let's find out.
The guy's wearing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar eye gear.
Wait a second, did you see this?
Growing number of cases, deaths in America's nursing homes.
Why is that a news story?
People in nursing homes are dying, Steven.
People in nursing homes are dying faster than the average population.
What's the average age?
87.
That's past life expectancy.
They're there because they're on borrowed time at this point.
Doesn't mean that not every life is precious.
Of course, we have to issue the caveat.
But, this is a story right now?
I don't know.
People are dying in nursing homes from a disease that we know 90% of people are almost entirely fine if they are not old or already sick.
Oh, and here we have the color of COVID.
The color of COVID.
That doesn't seem very colorful.
It's really more of a singular shade of COVID.
Is this going to be a continuation of this racist COVID claim that we heard the other day?
Yeah it is.
We already covered that this week so we don't want to cover it again.
A couple of main reasons is they don't trust authority and black people live in urban areas and so unfortunately they are more likely to be affected.
It just makes sense.
That's all.
It's not racism.
Now, it's not like this was, now it could be, you may know if it was released from the lab, like there could be some racist person in China.
That's true.
Chinese people sometimes build, there are a lot of racists in China, right?
There are some racists in China.
Haven't we talked about that?
More so against other Asians.
There's racists everywhere.
But are they, are they... Nah, I've seen a higher proportion.
Well, come on, you know, the Chinese... How many Chinese people have you talked to there, Gerard?
I actually have talked to quite a few.
How many?
Uh, ten.
Now, boys!
Oh, wow.
That's almost all of them.
It's just a coincidence that they were all racist, by the way.
Totally a coincidence.
I could have sworn one day you said sometimes Chinese people can be... He says it every day.
He's just putting you on the spot.
No, no, no.
Let no one be confused.
There is a high level of racism to certain groups.
So I was right!
You just wanted to see him sweat like a dog at a wet market.
He really did.
But it tends to be against other Asians.
Not only, but there is a rivalry.
It's almost like sports teams that we don't really have as much.
Actually, that's not as bad as like, for example, like in general Asian cultures as it relates to anyone from Africa.
Like the racism there is, again, on a general level, this is not all Asians or Asians in America
or Asians in Canada.
I mean, it's just, again, when you think about culturally.
Wait, did you just say Asians in Canada?
No, seriously.
Yeah, because Asians in Canada and America tend to be much more tolerant because they've
assimilated to American and Canadian cultural norms, as opposed to the kind of mono-cultural nature of China
itself.
Because you think about all the people in China are representative of a very small number.
Yes, there's a lot of dialects.
Yes, there's a lot of other races that have come and been there.
But generally, there's nowhere near as much of a mix as there is in America, which is why
we have additional challenges dealing with COVID from a genetic standpoint.
But the fact of the matter is, yeah, there are, of course, this is what's crazy, I think.
Every time you're going to have any kind of negative thing happen to a country like America, it's going to disproportionately affect some race.
Maybe it's this race this time, it's this race the other time, whatever it may be.
I mean, this isn't news.
Right.
Like, I mean, you know, sickle cell or, you know, Indian Americans.
Tech support is no longer needed.
Reg just sent us an article from the New York Post here.
McDonald's in China apologizes for signing banning black people amid coronavirus.
Well, Bill, I think you owe Gerald an apology.
What?
I said 10 out of 10 people were racist.
Thank you, Reg.
Can you imagine that?
That is unbelievable!
The sign just says, uh, no black people!
When I find out that that sign was on friggin' Gerald's wine store, and they just photoshopped it together... Even right now the ghost of Crow is going, that seems severe.
No good.
That's a little much.
And that's what happened why dogs are now excluded from the list for human consumption.
They needed the German Shepherds.
They're having the federal stockpile of German Shepherds.
Don't eat!
They're too skinny.
We need!
Good lord!
Can we bring that back up?
I want to make sure that's not a fake.
Keep in mind, I'm doing this live.
Bring that back up.
That is, and we bring up the actual source, so I know this is not fake.
Right.
Chinese sign.
Let me pull it back up for a second.
I want to read the top part real quick.
If you can pull it back up, we got it.
McDonald's in China apologizes for sign banning black people amid coronavirus.
Several problems with this.
First off, obviously it's a problem, right?
Let's be clear.
The primary problem is that you banned an entire race of people.
Not cool.
For no reason.
But just from a strategic standpoint, what you should have said was, was nothing.
What you should have said when someone took you aside and said, Well, here's the sign.
So, we've been informed that from now on, black people are not allowed to enter the restaurant.
We've been informed!
hope that nobody notices. Just play the numbers game that there likely wasn't a black person
who saw that sign in China yet.
Well, here's the sign. So, we've been informed that from now on black people are not allowed
to enter the restaurant.
We've been informed!
For the sake of your health, consciously notify the local police for medical isolation.
I love how they pass the racist buck.
We've been informed.
It's out of my hands!
Black people, black, white palms.
Weird.
Call the police.
It's weird.
I like that it's clearly a Google Translate.
I've seen enough of that.
It's Google Translate racism.
Like my high school Spanish class where I just used Google Translate even though they told me I shouldn't use Google Translate and I was flunked immediately.
Because you used technology.
China.
Anyway, I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Let's do the update here really quickly.
Thank you Reg for making my morning.
Thank you Reg.
Of course, President Trump yesterday talked about reopening America.
It's a three-phase kind of solution.
There are guidelines, and we can probably bring up some of these.
The first phase involves really opening up, kind of like what we've talked about here, determining what is non-essential, but kind of starting to reverse it, going, okay, more people can get back to work than not.
People who are vulnerable, the elderly, obviously they shouldn't be going to work.
The first phase is still trying to do a lot of work by computer, what do they call it, telecommunication work?
Is that the term?
Well, telecommuting, remote work, etc.
Remote work.
So they still want to encourage that.
Gatherings of 10 or less still.
So before any changes right now where states where they are not riddled with this pandemic right now, they can implement these.
That still means 10 or less, social distancing, all of those guidelines apply in public areas.
No gatherings for sports games.
I don't know exactly what else.
I don't have all of it in front of me, but you can read it online.
Couldn't be more reasonable.
Schools stay closed.
And I want to be clear about, because the way the media is portraying it is as though there are doctors and scientists and then the people who just want to open the floodgates and let all hell break loose.
That's not what the plan is at all.
And I guarantee, and this is why they don't want to run the press briefings on CNN.
They say, this is propaganda.
I was hearing, I think Wolf Blitzer, could be John King, whoever it is.
Whichever personality void with white hair was on CNN at that moment, whatever cosmic personality vapid wormhole it was, they said we are no longer going to air these press conferences as long as he continues to run propaganda.
The only purpose for these press conferences is to inform and assist the American people.
Like providing a three-phase plan that allows 22 million unemployed Americans to get back to work in a safe and reasonable manner?
Here's why they don't want to run that press briefing.
Because the vast majority of Americans, guarantee you, including Democrats, would read this three-phase plan.
These guidelines go, oh, that seems totally reasonable.
Masks?
Ten or less?
Okay, basically they're just saying that people who want to go back to work and there's no risk in states where there is no risk, they can start doing that.
Then you have phase two, where it gradually increases it.
And only when you get to phase three do you have sporting events and back to normal.
Three phases.
If the American public heard that, guess what?
This narrative that's been set of science and doctors versus someone like Donald Trump who knows nothing about this and only cares about the economy and giving all the money to Jared Kushner, It doesn't stand anymore.
It doesn't hold water.
What I want you to do is send these guidelines right now.
We have them up at, I believe, CNN.
Send them to everybody.
Send those guidelines.
Send them the plan and see what they think and have them criticize what's wrong with it.
Is this what's happening?
Is this the Surgeon General?
Yeah, he's talking about him saying states can reopen right now if they want to.
Right.
That makes perfect sense for you to be able to determine what is going on in your state.
So we obviously give Michigan a hard time for going way too far one way, but states like Wyoming and other states that don't have a huge population, don't have a ton of these viruses right now, not a lot of cases, they're already spread out as it is.
Why would you close them down?
Why not let them do what's right for them?
I do love the irony of how we've kind of swapped back and forth between, well I think the federal government should have done more, they should have exercised more power, we want to give Trump more power, wait a minute, but not Trump, but wait a minute, but you should have done more, but now we're going to do it on our own, and we don't think you should open, and you don't have unfailing power, and you're not omnipotent, and you can't control us, but we're going to reopen.
And hey everybody, go down and eat in Chinatown!
Right.
I said de Blasio and Nancy Pelosi.
Well, here's the thing, too.
Think about it this way with politics, Bill.
If Trump comes out and says, look, you have reopened.
Do exactly what you want to do.
And Illinois and California and Michigan and New York and places like that don't reopen and everybody else does.
And we found out, oh, no, it actually worked out really well.
Those Democrat strongholds and there's nobody to hide behind at that point because he just deferred to you and said, do what you want.
tell you this. You're on the hook now. And of course I don't mean this literally. But
we've talked about this. We've asked this question before.
If at any point there's ever a reasonable expectation of someone protecting their rights
by using their second amendment.
Yeah. If a man is out in a rowboat in Wyoming, on a lake in Wyoming with his wife fishing
and someone pulls up and wants to arrest him at gunpoint, that person should be met with
the sound of a shotgun. Not pulling the trigger, but someone out in a rowboat in Wyoming. There
There is no reasonable expectation.
No.
It is.
To walk in and tell that person, you are breaking the law right now.
It is, and to say otherwise is asinine.
To say that someone is unreasonable in Wyoming or Montana for saying, hey, listen, we're
in a very rural, there's not a person for 50 miles.
This is my own acreage.
We've taken precautions.
I'm going out in the pond and ba-ra-ra-ra-ra.
I can't think of, it is amazing because if you think of the policies that the American
media wants to mirror here, it's that of communist China.
It is.
All examples they've pointed to, South Korea.
Now they did some other things, they paired it up with the private sector, but they don't talk about that with the tests.
They praise them for contact tracing.
Well the way they did it in South Korea was by doxing their citizens effectively.
China.
Well the way they did that was by lying about the statistics!
So if you're going to tell us that we're not doing enough because we're not acting like communist authoritarian regimes like China or other countries, our allies, great churches, phones that explode, so you take some, you lose some, but South Korea, still far more paternalistic and authoritarian than the United States because of the history of their society.
This couldn't be more reasonable, this plan right now.
Right, and newsflash, governors of states don't have absolute power.
Bill, I don't know what the law is.
Oh, I wasn't doing the Star Wars.
I was doing the E.T.
Brotherhood.
There you go.
I like that.
That's good.
But Bill, you could maybe speak to this, but you're not required to follow an unlawful order.
I don't know if that's... Yeah, you are.
Are you?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
No, you're not.
Yeah, you are.
I would argue till I die that that is... You know why I'm going to say yeah, you are?
Why?
Because when you're dead, it's not going to matter whether it was unlawful or not.
So, here's the practical thing, right?
No, no, no, I mean people enforcing the law, not the citizens.
Look, I'm going to tell you right now, if a cop gives you an unlawful, I'm going to give you an unlawful order.
Let's say the sheriff tells his deputy, I want you to go and do this thing.
And the deputy goes, okay, I'm going to go out and do it.
And the citizen says, I'm not going to follow it.
And they go, nope, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to pull a gun on you, cop.
You're going to get shot.
Hold on a second.
I'm just giving you an example.
No, I know, but I'm bridging the racial divide here.
Half of me agrees with Gerald.
No, what he was saying is, for example, like the sheriffs in Leelanau County and Manasseh County.
Sheriffs can say, we're not going to follow the governor's decree right now.
Correct.
Or police officers, what he's saying, can refuse to.
Now, there might be consequences.
They could lose their job.
Yeah, exactly.
Message to sheriffs out there, because I know we have a lot of sheriffs who are fans.
Look at what they did.
I'd like to see more sheriffs out there saying, no, no, no, listen, we're not going to arrest husbands and wives for kissing in public.
We're not going to arrest people for jogging on the beach.
That's something that sheriffs can do.
Now there can be repercussions.
So there's two different aspects.
One, there's the autonomy that officers have about whether to consider something to be an offense in the same way that there's a prosecutorial discretion, right?
How is it that we can decide, well, we're just not going to always prosecute these crimes?
Regardless of whether you get the evidence, you just decide it's not important to do.
Now, the other aspect of that is this.
I think this is what you were getting at.
I was giving you shit earlier, Gerald.
But the point is that if you are a sheriff or a mayor or a governor and you decide to disobey the law, there's no part of the Constitution that says, well, if you feel strong enough about the law, you can just disobey it.
There will be consequences from it.
Especially if it proves to be a lawful order.
you'll have to...
I have a question.
By the way, we're probably going to go over time today.
So stay with us, of course, if you're watching here.
I think we go over time on the Blades.
I have a burp right now.
I wish I didn't talk.
Let me say one more thing.
Someone save me.
The reason that I brought that up was because in situations where you have an authoritarian
uh, some kind of an authoritarian overreach.
What you depend on is people not following unlawful orders that are enforcing the law.
That is the safeguard that we have from somebody in Michigan.
Let's say that she went even further.
The only safeguard we have is the sheriff's going, no, we're not going to go around and enforce this law other than the people rising up and banding together against it.
Exactly.
And that's actually one of the things that is, and history has borne itself out.
You see sheriffs in a lot of different instances throughout.
American history who have stood up and other other political figures as well who have stood up and said I'm
not going to follow Right certain rule and they have put themselves at risk
because the court may later determine that they were wrong Yeah, it happens
but without that test and and that's the thing is is I do want to impress upon why it isn't lawful because
By doing something that's not lawful. It shows how much they're actually risking
Yeah to do what they think is right Because without having done that thing, they won't lead to a legal challenge, or they won't have been punished and then have the forum to be able to take it to the court and resolve it in their favor.
So it is unlawful.
It is a big risk.
But they're doing it for the people.
By the way, let's be really clear here.
Your act of disobedience, if you are an officer, is just not arresting a father for pushing his kid on a swing.
Yeah, exactly.
That's a low bar.
That's a local hero story, okay?
Plus the local news need a bailout so they could benefit from it.
They want a few clicks.
Uncle Sam's none the wiser.
She's already getting sued, by the way, the Michigan governor.
She's already being sued by, I believe, four lawsuits right now.
Happened overnight.
Say it again?
Four lawsuits.
Okay.
We need a new robe!
We gotta wipe the chair.
Who has to clean under the desk?
It's like a Wuhan lab under there.
No, I just mean that I coughed.
Yeah, what do you mean?
By the way, hit the notification bell.
Hit all notifications if you are subscribed because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot.
And of course, do join my club.
$30 off is a promo code quarantine.
I can't remember.
I was going to say something.
I don't remember what it was, but I would like to suggest that.
Oh, that was what I was going to ask you.
So a police officer, for example, let's say in a hypothetical scenario, let's say me and an employee here.
Use the registered sex offender search to find pedophiles who live on corner lots so that we don't disrupt the neighborhood and honk near their house late at night.
Would a police officer be within his rights to, for example, give me a warning rather than any kind of an official infraction?
They have discretion to decide whether you're actually violating the law or not.
And would that be honking at pedophiles' houses, corner lots, illegal?
Doesn't sound like it.
But it depends how loud your horn is.
Sounds like a date!
Johnny boy, Friday night.
We know what we're doing.
We're going to stay up late.
You guys are going to start a trend.
Can I ask a quick question?
What?
When did the lieutenant governor in Pennsylvania come from the UFC?
I mean, look at this guy.
That's true, yeah.
Russian mob boss.
Could be a biker guy.
Yeah, he's a Russian mob.
I love it.
Look at that terrible beard.
And clearly he's able to shave his mustache, so he deliberately got this, like, spatula beard.
John King is sitting there like, what is this?
Talk about a race to the middle.
What's your plan with the stay-at-home order, Pennsylvania governor?
First, I'm gonna throw an overhand right and then he'll hook the shit out of it!
Why is it a badge of honor right now to not take care of your facial hair and dress poorly for interviews nationally?
No, he is taking great care of that facial hair.
That is premeditated.
That is on purpose.
That is walrus chic.
It's obvious he shaved the mustache.
He left the beard.
He apparently has no dress clothes at home.
He reminds me of a French-Canadian who got things a little late, like he just got Orange County Chopper and he's trying to look like the Tuttles.
It doesn't work with the egg-shaped head.
There was a funny story that there was a judge, a state court judge, who just went off the rails at some lawyers because he was like, You're at home.
Your clothes are at home.
The dress clothes you would normally wear to court.
So if you show up in Zoom one more time in a robe, I will hold you in contempt.
I love that judge.
I mean, even if you ran out of pants, just sit behind a desk and put the shirt on.
I mean, I'm wearing a shirt under this robe.
I know, he refused to wear the robe.
He didn't want to.
He's like, come on, half-Asian Bill, I want you to have as much fun as the rest of us.
By the way, some new evidence as far as a quick story to get to.
People are starting to accept the idea that the virus likely came from a Wuhan lab, which you talked about on this show, but because I'm not Asian, I was like, well, let's not spread conspiracy theories.
You know, only Washington Post corroborated me last night.
That's fine.
No big deal.
But you were saying this weeks ago.
You were way ahead of it.
Yeah, like a month ago.
How do you know this?
Because you told us before our city went into lockdown, you told us before the national order.
We made a very stupid move.
He was like, hey, there's going to be a national stay-at-home, I always forget the name, stay-at-home order.
Shelter in place.
Shelter in place, that's right.
Take care of whatever you need to.
And Johnny Boy and I stocked up on gas.
Actually, Johnny, do me a favor.
Bring the gas cans in here.
Do that so we can show people.
Yeah, yeah, I want them to bring them in.
We stocked up on gas.
Yeah, we thought there would be a gas shortage.
It's literally the cheapest, most available commodity ever.
Yeah, it's everywhere.
Yeah, exactly.
Thanks Saudi Arabia.
Oh my god, we filled up all our cars.
We didn't know that we should have just been buying wet wipes.
I know, right.
You can sanitize your hands with it.
They drove past four toilet paper stores to get the gas.
Yes!
There's a toilet paper store?
There are toilet paper stores exclusively.
And we drove past.
And you know what?
I think that my love for QuickTrip blinded me at that point.
It did.
It did.
Which, by the way, they still have water at QuickTrip.
They still have some toilet paper at QuickTrip.
Shirley, stop.
QuickTrip!
Sponsor this show!
I hang out!
I'll broadcast!
I only want to eat at your locales.
Only your roller food.
I made that mistake after the stay-at-home order.
I don't know which live stream we were doing, but I went to Quick Trip and ate one of those beef, what is it, buffalo chicken and cheese.
Nobody really knows.
It was sitting in the roller, and I asked the guy, I said, I was actually pressured to do it.
I was peer pressured by the clerk at Quick Trip.
That's called an upsell.
Coming out of my mouth sounds so bad.
We got some gas cans coming in.
Look at this!
This is what we... Look at this!
Look at it!
Well, don't put it on the red chair or red can.
We can just bring it in here and put it on the carpet.
Nah, it's not a fire hazard.
Alright, let's show them it all.
So we literally came in... How did Ladder with Crowder burn down?
And we bought nothing but gas.
Shocking.
We had to make a call, and we made the worst possible decision.
Well, your wife actually tweeted me when you got this information.
She's like, hey, I'm just saying.
Like, this is going to happen.
No, she messaged you.
Oh, text.
Yeah, you're right.
Sorry.
Yeah, there's a big difference.
I said the wrong T word!
Yes, you're going to go incognito with an at reply.
This egg.
I wanted to make sure that I kept it on the radar, so I put it on the church bulletin next to guitar lessons.
So you know why I know, right?
Every time I joke that I'm a Chinese spy, but I tell you and you guys think it's a joke.
A Chinese spy wouldn't be that connected with... What was that?
It was like a fish.
You looked like the fish in Super Mario World 2, the underwater level.
underwater. What were you doing? It's been a long.
But how do you know all these things?
Uh, you know, people know things.
Well, you should have warned me about the gas.
So, uh, Wuhan, turns out they did come.
Now, let me ask you this.
Do you think it was just an accident or do you think this was some kind of plan to create a biochemical tool?
Uh, I'm very convinced that this was part of an increased ramp up to study these particular viruses in a, in a facility that was not prepared to take the type of, um, Safety measures and precautions that would be required to keep it safe.
And when you increase the study of these types of diseases, you increase the risk that something's going to happen.
And why does it look more natural?
Again, the studies that are now coming out and the evidence that's coming out as people are studying disease, it's clear that it wasn't like someone tinkered in a lab and put it together and then like went out on the street and just coughed it on somebody, right?
through the testing of different animals as they are working on these coronaviruses, like prior SARS, which also had similar origins.
That's what's most sad to me, is I can't make SARS jokes anymore.
Yeah, I mean, well, when SARS 3 comes out, son of SARS, you know, SARS Junior, SARS Deceitful, I mean, we're gonna have more of these.
And the problem is, is when you have It didn't happen last year.
It didn't happen the year before.
But this was the year.
they have the other kind of circumstances that go along with it, bringing all these
animals together.
There's literally no worse place you could put a coronavirus studying lab than in Wuhan.
Right, in a densely populated city.
Hey, you know what?
It didn't happen last year.
It didn't happen the year before.
But this was the year.
It all came together at once.
Yeah, it was like their screw up leap year.
So, I've also read, and I cannot corroborate this, but there also is some circulating information right now at the time of this broadcast, which is Friday morning, that someone who worked there may have been selling the animals to wet markets to make extra profit after they were done with some of these experiments.
Oh, wow.
So, I don't know if that's true or not, but it makes sense because, you know, think about this for a second.
The Great Wall of China, right?
Breached three times.
You know how?
They bribe the guy at the toilet every time.
So they spend all this money on infrastructure and technology and creating this workforce and having everything be so regimented that they often don't instill the morality needed to make that work.
Now, on the flip side, we require a moral society to be a free society.
That's why the fundamental building block needs to be the nuclear family.
And then we believe in local churches and communities and in local government
and then state government for the federal government but the same thing
you know for you to have for you have the Great Wall of China to work or that
lab to work you got to make sure that no one's you know just having their
palm greased letting I don't know which one the Mongolians in whichever depending
on which instance we're talking about or selling the dog to a local wet
market to make a couple extra you know bucks
Yeah, well, I mean, at the very least, can you just not put it in the middle of a densely populated city of 10 to 15 million people?
Yeah.
That maybe is the first place to start while you're working out your protocols for safety.
Am I the only one who's always amazed, though, whenever I see, like, Japanese countryside?
I'm like, there's countryside?
It's so small and there's so many people.
It can't be that big.
You know what's just as shocking?
Just spread it out.
Western New Jersey is beautiful.
Yeah, no, it absolutely is.
People are like, oh no, I just thought it was six packs and oh yeah, whatever.
But no, it's beautiful.
I mean, it is actually like the other parts of the country.
Yeah.
And you fly into like Narita, the airport in Tokyo.
It's way, way, way outside of Tokyo.
You fly over the countryside in the mountains.
It's beautiful.
Right.
I didn't know that.
Wait, wait.
You said West New Jersey.
And then he switched to Japan.
No, no, no.
But I'm saying, like, in the same way that, like, outside of Tokyo, everyone thinks Tokyo, they think Japan.
Right.
Because that's what's depicted all the time.
But West, like, we get outside.
Yeah.
I was like Ohio.
There are areas near Cincinnati that are beautiful.
And then, of course, the one exception, which can't be argued, is Illinois.
There's nothing good.
There's Chicago, and then the rest of Illinois.
I've driven through the entire northern rain area.
And it's pick your poison.
Do I want to be in Chicago?
No.
But then I'm in the rest of Illinois.
So...
Yeah.
Just move to another state.
Finally, this is something I noticed.
We were talking about this on Wednesday, and we're going to get back to, again, we've placed our bets as to whether I can make it through ABC 20.
You can't even talk about it without laughing.
I don't know if I can do it.
You're doomed.
But this is remarkable.
So on Wednesday, we covered that story from ABC News about Donald Trump defunding who?
The World Health Organization, right?
And I just read a statement from someone in China.
So again, this is happening live, and I'm reading a statement about how disappointed some Chinese representatives are in the United States, no longer funding Hu.
This was at ABC News.
Then when I went home, I said, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second.
Was that, what's the guy's name?
Li Jiang Zhao?
Li Jiang Zhao?
Li Jiang, I think.
Wait, did I just read a quote on air without even realizing that was the foreign minister on ABC News who they were quoting to condemn the president who spread the rumor that coronavirus was started by American soldiers?
And then I ran a couple of searches.
New York Times, Bloomberg, Washington Post.
Yeah, all of them in condemning Donald Trump.
Quote, the foreign Chinese minister who blamed coronavirus on the United States.
I couldn't believe that it didn't, it didn't hit me in time.
So to the point where I then went on Twitter to go see Li Zhao.
Can someone read it for me?
Li Zhao Zhang?
What is it?
Li Zhang Zhao.
How do you pronounce that?
Li Zhang Zhao.
It sounds like you're too Americanized.
So let's go.
Sorry, I know how to speak the American.
It affects my ability to speak Chinese.
I went on Twitter.
I went on Twitter.
He blocked me!
He's already blocked me for retweeting him saying like, uh, actually, and all I did was say, actually, coronavirus wasn't started by American soldiers.
He blocked me.
That's all I did.
You are making the rounds on the country's lists.
But I think I need to make some phone calls to writers and editors because either they do not know that they are quoting a communist propagandist who blamed the virus on American troops, or they do know and they ran it anyway because they would rather side with a communist propagandist against President Trump.
And by the way, could there be any more of an indictment on the World Health Organization than looking to someone in China for a statement and using the propagandist?
Alex Jones was kicked off of YouTube for Far less!
Far less!
Not saying I agree with the conspiracies at all, but I'm saying, could you imagine if this guy were some kind of American alt-writer?
There would be an article in New Yorker so fast it would make your head spin, with a picture of Philip DeFranco right next to it.
It is unreal to me that I went through every major source, and they include a quote from the communist propagandist who blamed, started, created, circulated the rumor that COVID was created by American soldiers, and the media, not one or two sources, Are entirely complicit.
These people are not your friends.
You cannot trust them.
The press isn't the enemy of the American people.
Just everyone who's working for it right now.
That's a pretty large group of people.
There couldn't be a more unifying factor for American people right now than to say that China has historically been a very difficult place for people to live and to have any kind of freedom whatsoever.
To say that they've been oppressed, that's easy.
And that the WHO is completely in bed with China.
It's obvious.
This isn't a fight worth fighting.
If you don't like Donald Trump, pick your spots better.
Because this is an easy one for everybody to get on board and say, neither one of these guys, China or the WHO, are worth defending.
They've done some really bad stuff and it's cost tons of people their lives.
Probably hundreds of thousands of people lost their lives because China lied.
It would be very different if they were apologetic.
Or bad.
That would be a start.
You blamed it on American soldiers for crying out loud.
You blamed it on the American military.
You knew it was going to happen.
It was going to come out.
I've been at a loss for words this week, honestly.
People think it's ret... No!
I think that they meet, not saying they're actual communists, though some of them, but they are communist sympathizers through their actions.
They talk about vetting sources and how important news is in this era of blogging.
Really?
Because bloggers make mistakes.
I've seen a lot of typos.
I get it.
I assume some of them are dyslexic.
But your source, when you talk about vetting, is an actual communist propagandist.
You're like, oh yeah, run that.
It's gotta be true.
Do you not have a copy editor or nothing with the billions of dollars over there at New
York Times, NBC News?
Are you too busy setting up whitewashed late night sets where they use the same jokes like
Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert?
I am just amazed that this is what's going on right now.
And I'm amazed that you find yourself surprised that Donald Trump's approval rating is going
up and Americans don't trust you.
Maybe because you quote communist Chinese propagandists while telling them to eat in
Chinatown because all is well and it's Donald Trump's fault.
It is remarkable to me.
Okay, we are going to come back after this.
We're going to go to a quick commercial, a commercial for Black Rifle Coffee where I give you some coffee tips.
Then we will come back, place your bets as to whether we can make it through the Angie Arriola ABC News Gender Bender Special without laughing.
We'll be right back.
Here's the thing.
Grossonde.
I just isn't done that one.
The sun will move the green with the light of day.
And you're going.
It's time to get to work.
like a patriot.
Go to BlackRifleCoffee.com slash Crowder today.
It's a great place.
At least what you do online is your business.
Protect your business with ExpressVPN.
Steven Crowder here with Coffee Tips, sponsored by Black Rifle and Mug Club.
It's a match made in heaven.
So today we're gonna be using the Black Rifle Chemex, 10 cup Chemex.
I'm gonna take my filter, I put that on the side of the spout so it allows air flow.
Grind the beans, fresh beans, really important, whole beans.
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Wet the paper filter.
That rinses out any paper particles, especially if it's from China.
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Spend money on a good burr grinder.
That'll make all the difference in the world because consistency is key.
We ended up with about 34 grams.
Grab your calculator.
What's 34 times 16?
Half-Asian Bill let me know that it is 544 milliliters, grams, simple.
I am going to be pouring in 544 milliliters of water.
I'm going to bloom the coffee, and what does that mean?
You want to get everything wet, and it releases gases.
That's why you'll see it'll look kind of like a souffle.
Do you want good coffee, or do you want to drink cheap swill?
Souffle is not that bad.
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What do you need?
Water between 195-205, eight grams per five ounce cup, and you want it to sit in contact with that coffee for two and a half to five minutes, ideally three.
Now I'm going to pour the rest of this coffee, get it up to 544.
And now all I do is let it drain.
And three minutes and 50 seconds on the button.
This is where you can discard the filter.
And there you have it.
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It's a world of difference.
Let me pour it.
And the test that really matters.
Try that on for size.
What?
I don't really drink coffee.
Oh boy! Wow!
There we go.
I don't know what that means.
We'll be right back.
I don't know what that means.
We'll be right back.
Back with the show?
Okay.
Go.
Go.
I remember we had a standing order at Fox to never talk about that Villarelli freakout.
Really?
So I did it at every opportunity, but not on the network.
How can you not address it?
It's so funny.
It's about as funny of a freakout as you can think of.
It is.
You just gotta own it if you're Bill.
Just be like, yeah, it was pretty funny, right?
No.
You can never talk about it with him.
No, I'm saying he should have.
He should have, but it would have gone away.
Yeah, I know.
But he still makes a point to say that you can't talk about it.
There's video evidence, Bill.
He also makes a point to send you unsolicited pictures.
He's like, well, this is a show.
It's a family show.
Oh, chat!
We do have one chat here.
We have several, but we'll do this one here.
Grant A. from Michigan.
Living in the Whitmer land, but thankful at least to be working from home so I can stream Mug Club in the morning.
Thanks for the extra content this month, guys.
Crowder, what's the biggest thing you miss about Michigan?
There's a capital M there.
So, I assume that was autocorrect.
I now know your wife's pet name.
So, I'm trying to think of the thing that I miss most in Michigan.
It probably is just summers by the lake.
And I miss the beer, for sure, at Grand Rapids.
The beer.
Fantastic.
Beer, food, lake.
When did Kid Rock start hosting this show?
I know.
That's what he's singing about.
He's singing about right where I got married.
So I have fond memories.
Or is that the only one we're reading?
That's fine.
No, no.
Let's go to... You said multiple chats.
Yeah.
He has them, but he only wants to do one.
We'll do that one.
Okay.
We'll just do that one?
Okay.
If there's anything juicy that I need to sink my teeth into... No?
Okay.
So, the closest thing we have right now... Uh-oh.
It's juicy.
Everyone buckle down for one more hour.
Let's go.
I mean titillate it. It's juicy.
Everyone buckle down for one more hour.
Let's go. Hit it.
Coffee!
Let's see. So Chloe asks, what are your opinions of women enlisting in the military?
Huh?
Also, which Bond film is best?
I don't know how those are related.
They watched Moonraker for the first time the other day and it was the worst.
Listen, Chloe, you get one question.
You're the kind of person who gets a genie and wishes for more wishes.
I have no problem with women enlisting in the military, provided that they aren't in violent combat roles if they don't meet the PTU requirements.
And I don't think we should be lowering them.
I think we should consistently be raising police and military requirements.
What about this question grabbed you, Wade, and said, this is the question?
Something about Moonraker.
It wasn't a bad show.
Moonraker thing.
Moonraker.
It wasn't a bad question.
We should have stopped the question once.
It's kind of funny.
Okay, so now we can go back to this, and I won't watch this.
Just so you guys, everyone can remember, I was just minding my own business watching
this special on Elizabeth Holmes' Theranos pops up, and ABC just thrust this before
me and acted like I shouldn't find it absurdly funny.
And I've never laughed this hard in my life.
So what we're gonna do is you'll see how this started, and then we'll see if I can watch it now and keep a straight face.
Alright, play the clip!
Just a reminder.
Don't look, Steven.
I don't want to see the clip.
No, do it.
Alright, let me know when I can come back.
Don't look, Steven.
I don't want to see the clip.
No, do it.
Alright, let me know when I can come back.
Not yet, almost.
Alright, Steven, come on.
Here we go.
Say it's now safe.
Like I said, I had to google if you could die from laughing.
I binged if you could die from laughing.
No.
You know you got that information.
You Netscape Navigator'd?
Yeah, because I was laughing on an inhale, so I had a spasm in my back all night.
Because I was breathing in, and then, and so you start laughing, and I go, and there was a guy who I knew when I was a teenager who laughed like that, and I hated him.
So then there were all these conflicting emotions.
I hated myself but I couldn't stop laughing.
So we're going to watch this today to see if the idea of Angie Nipple... Is it Angie Areola?
Ana Areola.
My mistake.
It's hard for me to keep track of the absurd stage names.
I confused her with Naomi Nipple.
That was back in my head.
Okay, so do we think we can make it through this without laughing?
No, no, no.
What were the bets?
I bet five dollars you would die.
Right.
So you're still alive, but there's now gas cans next to your desk.
He says that like Donald Trump yesterday saying, I knew some great people and now they're dead.
They're dead.
They're dead.
Look, I said this earlier.
Stop Gary Coleman!
You're number one, Gerald is number two, I'm number three.
Okay.
If either Gerald leaves, I go up to two, or you leave, I go up to two.
Alright, okay, so let's start watching this again and see if I can keep a straight face with Angela... Anna Areola.
Alright.
Was she selling you on the mission of Theranos?
How did she come across?
So you joined the board?
only saw me on a vision for what she wanted to do in this realm of blood testing and making
it something that was much more accessible than it's ever been.
So you joined the board. Pause, pause, pause. Oh, that's right, we can't pause. I was going
to say, you can't even see me on screen. His involvement attracted others from Apple to
join Theranos. Like Ana Ariel, who had helped design the iPhone. The opportunity was altruistic,
but not potentially humankind changing. It's Ursula. And I was very curious. Unfortunately,
We're just going to move on!
We're just watching a special!
the conversation is so awkward.
She's perched like an owl.
I'll look through this book while you film me.
Elizabeth was very curious about Steve's attire, and I explained to her that he was inspired by Steve's look.
We're just going to move on! We're just going to move on!
We're just watching a special! There's 20 minutes!
And then this just happens.
Mind manager.
your apparel. Is there still is there still down who you see me
I don't know.
But Ana says Elizabeth's transformation didn't end there.
Her voice what she could figure out a surprising baritone likely
cost her a few $1,000 to get these. Are they gonna bring back
on his fake? I hope according to Anna.
Speaking of surprising baritone...
I'm gonna throw up.
She fell out of character.
She should cast stones, really.
Her true voice.
And he's so, he's so bitchy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It really is.
They just address the... Elizabeth?
No, no, don't, we have more.
I cut it, I cut it.
Because I remember the next part.
And I don't think I can, I don't think I can take the next part.
I remember, you guys haven't seen the next part.
I need to win this bet.
Keep it going.
That's awesome.
Like they only, what's funny is they only bring Anna Areola on.
Did I get it right?
Is it Anna?
Yeah, Anna.
Just to be a catty bitch.
Mark Elizabeth voice I feel like the pot calling a kettle black they're like I
know how to keep in character guys right well they're like who can we possibly
bring on to make fun of a woman's voice this is clearly and they want to look oh
yeah and Jerry Allah Yeah, what is, what does Angie have to say?
Say, ignore the, ignore the half, the half male packer involvement with the guess who perm that looks like, it looks like, it looks like our Bob Ross wig when we pull it out of the, out of the container.
It's all mashed down.
It is totally Ursula.
And then Damon, the glasses, and the, you can still see some stubble and clown lipstick.
And the, I don't know if you noticed this, the first scene, when I first saw it, I thought Anna Nipple was an amputee, because that shot, if you see, is just like this.
This is clearly entirely unnecessary commentary.
That's not fair, right?
If they had Anna Nipple on to talk about how the technology, I don't know, how it didn't react properly on a molecular level, sure.
She's either going to be like, on aerial, she's either going to be like, Elizabeth had a super shitty voice.
Not even believable.
I like it, I like it.
They're appealing to the TMZ audience, you know?
And I just wonder, like, was the editor at his bay when he was doing this 23 special?
Was he just at his bay, edit bay, like this, with the mouse, in this carpal tunnel?
Rishon, or was he like, oh my god, what is this?
The name is Nipple?
Make a lower third quick.
And here's the other layer of this that's funny.
It's like someone being prank called not realizing that Seymour Butz is a fake name.
Seymour Butz!
Don't ever call here again, kid!
Click.
But someone at ABC was like, Kyron Areola?
Got it.
How do you spell that?
It was Moe from The Simpsons.
Just like the part on the breast.
Yeah, exactly just like the part of the best. I guarantee you his name is not actually
Which then then my respect level goes to the roof The fact that they got the documentary to use the name Angelina Nipple is amazing.
This has got to be an epic troll.
It's Anna.
Anna.
And do hit, by the way, the notification bell.
If you've hit subscriptions and hit all notifications, because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot.
And please do join Mug Club.
I am actually... Promo code quarantine.
$30 off for the month of April.
Okay.
$30 off for the entire month of April.
Quarantine.
All right.
A good thing is I don't have the back spasm this time.
I was laying on the couch in a weird way, where you know when you get it right between your rib and your shoulder?
Yeah.
OK.
So I think I know.
This is the last clip, please.
Yes, this is the last one.
It is.
Because I remember this specifically.
This is the part of the video that you saw.
And you guys haven't seen this, so you don't.
I'm almost at this point.
I don't know if I'll be laughing, because I'll be curious as to if everyone here gets why this is so funny.
All right, let's see if I can hold it.
Elizabeth reacted swiftly and harshly, eliminating those who raised doubts.
There were posts from employees.
They equated it to a South American dictatorship or a drug cartel.
They assembled some of the best people that they possibly could get, and they just vanished.
I was one of the few people that stood up to her.
I've told her no on numerous occasions.
Numerous!
Of course you did!
You're a man!
Everyone was terrified of Elizabeth, but I messed her up.
Could you imagine if I were like, everyone here was intimidated by Too Cute Maddie, but I punched her right in the breast?
Yeah, I just walked it, I showed her who was Bob, and I dropped it.
She changed her name to Ariella after she punched her right in the tit.
Well, and you make yourself out to be the tough guy afterwards.
Oh, I said no multiple times.
I wasn't going to be pushed around by big old Elizabeth Holmes.
With her stupid voice.
With her stupid baritone voice.
With her stupid baritone voice.
This turtleneck pussy.
Can you...
We're right there.
We're right there.
Can you imagine a special?
Can you imagine a special where there's just some guy from HR who just like talking to ABC 2020 going like, yeah, everyone else was was really scared about from Elizabeth Holmes.
I fucked her up.
I said, boom, zoom, right to the moon, Elizabeth Holm.
They would never just show a domestic abuser in sort of like a catty, but ultimately kind of guilty fun type of character.
He's talking about intimidating a woman.
I said no multiple times.
Look, I think Amanda Nipps is great.
I think she adds a lot.
Amanda!
She's got a great character.
Her name is evolving.
It's excellent.
And then at the very last, we don't have the clip but we have to go, is I remember at the end they say should Elizabeth Holm be in prison and it ends with Anna Nipple saying like, should she go to prison?
Let me just say, should she be in prison?
Let me just say, orange is the new black!
You spoke the title of the most popular Netflix show that somehow made it past being renewed for three seasons, which is remarkable to make that budget work, but it's so popular that it's like on season six and just like, I shone her.
And you let me know what you think.
I still go back and forth, was ABC just that tone deaf or they just thought we'd all be like, oh yeah, sure, okay.
Or do you think that they were saying, we need to make sure that everyone eventually says, oh yeah, sure, Angie Nipple.