ASH WEDNESDAY: Girl Problems, Favorite Movies, and Quarantine Reading Material | Louder with Crowder
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You're a strange animal, that's what I know You're a strange animal, I have to follow
I'm a spirit Oh
That's called the I'm Sitting Perfectly Straight.
Do I look like I'm moving, Half-Asian Lawyer Bill?
No, not at all.
Half-Asian Lawyer Bill Richmond is here today and he's very sick.
I am.
He is very sick.
He's a trash can right off camera.
But you know what will make me happy?
What?
Is if you do the Hawk Neck Challenge.
Oh, is that where you can move your body but not your head?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're failing.
Total epic.
Can you do it?
No!
Look how fat my head is.
Please don't ask me.
I can do it if my head fills the entire screen.
Is it a hawk, though?
I thought it was a different bird that does the... I don't know.
Chickens do it, too.
I mean, an owl.
All birds do it, I think.
A fowl.
Why?
Even turtle doves do it.
Something to do with flight.
But I don't understand, like, why do they decide... In other words, you could just start them anywhere in space, but they decide that, oh, this is where my head is supposed to be.
Like, why couldn't your head be down there?
Why don't you just readjust?
They want it to be even.
It doesn't make any sense.
They can recalibrate.
So when they're flying, they can do this and turn without having their head crossed.
Steven Crowder destroys birds.
I mean, he already hits the ground, Al.
So they can do this and fly directly into the other cardinal that they see in the window.
Hashtag avians too.
There's a cardinal right outside of my window, outside of my garage, and every time we're in there doing jiu-jitsu, he just...
Wow.
He wants to learn.
Window he wants to learn and then when I pulled a car in And then I found out today. He was actually dive-bombing
into my neighbor's car Wow I don't know and like the thing is I kind of like him. I'm
gonna miss him when he's gone Yeah, you know he's a vivacious little prayer. I've got it
Red communist.
All right, so we are going to have an Ash Wednesday.
Are you going to smoke a pipe or anything at all?
Yeah, absolutely.
Sounds like a horrible idea.
Are you kidding?
I came into the show and he brought in one of those energy drinks.
I was like, oh man, I'm really dragging.
Can I have a sip?
He's like, yeah, you can have.
And then it was one fluid motion.
He goes, yeah, you can have.
Don't drink it.
I'm actually really sick.
Don't take it.
Not good.
You don't look sick.
That's because I averagely look sick.
No, you look like you have some color.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, you don't look pale.
It's yellow, thank you.
Well, yeah.
It's tough to tell.
It's just a tinge of rose.
Okay, so we'll get to An Ash Wednesday, but before that we're going to be talking about the Black Sit.
So, question of the day, have you heard of the supposed Black Sit that's occurring with black Americans?
They're leaving the United States, moving back to Africa.
It's being advocated by a lot of black activists.
Do you know anyone personally?
Do you think blacks need to leave?
Because, not me, this is what they are advocating over at Essence Magazine.
I think we have this article right here from Essence.
There's this increasingly sort of common claim that black Americans... Can we say blacks?
Is blacks okay?
I feel like that's wrong.
You're not supposed to say blacks.
African Americans?
People of color?
A lot of them aren't African American.
They don't like it.
You read me the riot act when I said African American.
Blacks!
That's true.
Coloreds are fleeing the United States to get away from racism.
This is what they wrote about in Essence magazine, even saying that this is a viable solution right now.
It's being suggested by black activists under the rule of Trump.
So just to give you a feel, by the way, for the author of this article, it's kind of gone
viral and it's been echoed by places, I think like the New York Times and maybe it was Huffington
Post.
Kristen Kirsten, Kristen Kirsten, they've got a thing like that, Savali, I want to make
sure I get her name right.
She claims that in America, black Americans will go with that.
That sort of feathers it up.
Black Americans took half from African Americans.
You know, what's happened since then?
Black Americans that they're supposedly living in occupied territory and that
the police are giving them, specifically under Trump, the right to kill them with
impunity. That's part of the premise. Let's hear from her.
We talk about what's happened since Ferguson. You know, what's happened since then, what's happened since the
inception of police departments.
There is a continuum of slave patrols who were meant to bring enslaved black people back to plantation.
Where the crime was not dehumanizing institutional violence of slavery, it was actually people seeking freedom and they were meant to bring them back.
So again, we're talking about occupied territories.
We're talking about oppressed communities.
We're talking about militarized police departments who have been given the right to kill with impunity.
And it happens over and over and over again.
Does your character have a hairnet?
No.
Wait.
Guess who?
There we go.
I raised it back up.
We all played Guess Who, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
I really should get an actual prompter and then apparently start using it.
Oh, look what happened here.
This whole thing just shut down.
Thank you.
None of you can run prompter?
Think about this.
Do you think that Sean Hannity has to do this?
No, he reads exactly what is written for him by somebody else.
Offscreen.
Okay, so that's Kristen Seballe.
Let's take a look at some of these claims, though, that I think are pretty important.
One of the claims, okay, and you see this in the article, not all from that clip, that the Founding Fathers, they encoded dehumanization and oppression into the Constitution to preserve their privilege.
These are all direct quotes from Essence.
I highly recommend that you go read them.
Here's the truth.
That's bullcrap.
Okay?
The entire world employed slavery.
By the way, not just African Americans, okay?
Sorry about that.
Sorry about that.
Amtrak thanks you.
The point is...
All of human civilization practiced slavery since the beginning of time to one degree or another.
A lot of the world still does.
We ended it.
And this is something that's just shouted out a lot and so people accept it as true.
The Founding Fathers, they were actually very troubled, deeply troubled by the idea of slavery.
And they were already taking steps to try and pave the way to change the course of history and end slavery long before most other people were thinking about it.
So, the continuation of slavery was actually one of the primary gripes against King George before we declared independence.
I have a quote here from Thomas Jefferson.
King George III, lest you be confused, has waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating its most sacred rights of life and liberty in the persons of a distant people who never offended him, captivating and carrying them into slavery in another hemisphere, or to incur miserable death in their transportation thither.
That's always a good word.
Determined to keep open a market where men should be bought and sold, he has prostituted his negative for suppressing every legislative attempt to prohibit or to restrain this extricable commerce.
That is, he has opposed efforts to prohibit the slave trade.
Pretty clear.
Now, again, keep in mind, this is something that was not only legal, but it was enforced at this point.
Right now, let's say that there's an unjust law you disagree with.
Often you'll hear people say this to the right.
They go, well, if you disagree with this taxation, why aren't you actually violent?
Or why aren't pro-life people being more violent with abortion clinics?
Because that's not what we advocate.
We believe in working within the law.
We believe in respecting the rule of law, even as we try to change it through the system of law that we have.
So let's keep that in context.
Benjamin Franklin.
He said, a disposition to abolish slavery prevails in North America that many of Pennsylvanians have set their slaves at liberty and that even the Virginia Assembly have petitioned the king for permission to make a law for preventing the importation of more into that colony.
This request, however, will probably not be granted as their former laws of that kind have always been repealed.
Now let's go to some of the personal actions.
Again, read the Essence Magazine.
It's predicated on the idea that our founding fathers were pro-slavery and wanted to continue it.
George Washington.
He made it so that his slaves could be freed.
I'm talking like her.
It's a continuum.
He wanted his slaves to be freed upon his death.
It was illegal, by the way, to do so while he was alive.
Jefferson, by the way, he maintained a strong anti-slavery stance throughout his entire life.
By his death, state laws had stiffened so much it was pretty much impossible for him to free the slaves as Washington had.
But Washington did that.
Upon his death, he freed his slaves.
Here's another claim you see from Essence Magazine, and blacks it.
Isn't it crazy?
Think about this for a second.
If I were to actually say with a straight face, blacks need to leave, that would be terrible.
But someone like her writing for Essence Magazine, where a far cry from Ebony and Ivory is, she's going, blacks need to leave!
But she lives here.
Yes, she does.
I think she splits her time between here and Ghana.
She has a nice cottage in Ghana.
Avoid the warlords.
A lot of miles there.
It is remarkable.
They always talk about this too with Canada.
Blacks should move to Canada.
It's pretty much the United States, only with worse health care.
Or back in the day when they talked about slavery, like, we escaped to Canada.
They would just say, hey, great, more slaves.
OK, get in line right here.
Hope you enjoy your shackles.
As though the United States is the only place where slavery has existed.
Another claim she makes, there is no corner in the United States where it's safe to be black.
Here's the truth.
Bullshit!
It's not even close.
No place in the United States where it's safe to be black?
Plano, Texas.
Burlington, Vermont.
Cedar Rapids.
Take your pick, Miss Guess Who.
As a matter of fact, do you know where black Americans are safer in general in the United States?
Can you guys take a guess as to where black Americans are safer in this country?
No.
Where?
Tell us.
What is it?
Could it possibly?
They're safer in white areas, predominantly white areas than black areas, as they're far less likely to be the victim of crime from the hands of white Americans than fellow black Americans.
I take no joy in that.
That's a statistical reality.
But I won't.
I bet you won't.
You're not going to hear that on the SPLC's latest hate crime email newsletter.
Instead, they'll be talking about Proud Boys getting into a bar fight with some guys in bandanas around their face.
I find interesting that there's no bit of irony to think about how we're going to change the system and say, okay, didn't have a black president apparently, have never had any black Americans in any level of government, kill with impunity.
I think that's the one that should be considered the most offensive from a truth standpoint, is the idea that if America has always been based on the idea of oppression and dehumanization Is what you're saying you want to go to Venezuela?
Or how about the Congo?
Well, even worse than that, when you say kill with impunity, that implies that white people,
and by the way, is there any worse generalization you can make about an entire race of people,
and let's include white people here, outside of they want to kill anything that looks different
from them?
Right.
And so the insinuation that all white people are just aching to, when no one's looking,
kill black people, gruesomely, for no reason. I mean, you really...
That is to assume that we have no humanity, that we have no empathy for our fellowmen.
It's just not the case.
And by the way, to tie that to race is also inaccurate, because many slaves were sold from African slave traders, as a matter of fact.
Eighty to ninety-five percent, according to leftist sources.
It's not even close.
The irony of someone saying, I'm going to look at you based on your race and decide that you have so little love and compassion in your heart, based solely on the color of your skin, that you will create an oppressive nation and make no corner of that entire country safe, is literally the personification of racism that she is allegedly trying to combat.
What was the budget to get the breakfast at Tiffany's Mickey Rooney lookalike here in the studio?
By the way, if you want to check this, as to black Americans being safer in white areas, all the aforementioned cities, they're all safer for black Americans than predominantly black cities.
You can look at the list of safest cities in the country.
By the way, for both white and black Americans, you can look at those stats.
Then, if you wanted to find the least safe cities for black Americans, you would have to take that list, scroll down, Keep scrolling.
Keep scrolling.
Yep!
That would be Detroit and St.
Louis.
And I don't know which one.
I think Detroit is worse, but you guys have it pretty bad.
This is the part where you argue for the check and you say, no, no, no, St.
Louis is worse.
Yeah, St.
Louis is definitely not worse.
But deep down, we all know it's Detroit.
But I will say, for example, historically there are parts of northern St.
Louis or east St.
Louis, which is actually in Illinois.
Yes, I got stranded outside of there.
My Ford Taurus blew the transmission.
Wow, not good.
That was terrible.
Yeah, Tauruses are bad in that regard.
Yeah, Tauruses are really bad.
I've never been to Detroit, but I've done a lot of research and looked into it and frankly hear a lot of stories from your dad about it.
Papa Trotter always talks about it.
But when you think about it, I think some people will hear what we're talking about and draw a conclusion that, oh, it's a race issue as to why African Americans are safer Statistically, in a white community, but it has actually nothing to do with race.
It has to do with cultures that either are concerned about lives or not concerned about lives.
That value human lives or don't value human lives.
And when you go to any city in America, whether it's Compton, whether it's some borough in New York, whether it's Detroit, or whether it's St.
Louis.
Detroit is definitely worse.
It's not even close.
You're going to find people who just say, I don't value human life.
And by the way, yeah. And a good point is that's not a race thing,
but I'll tell you what is where you could attribute something here to race.
You could attribute the voting block and not black Americans,
because you look at the changes in the voting block under Donald Trump,
but the activists like this writer for essence magazine and like the activists
who've tried to speak for the black community to instate policies that have
systematically destroyed them.
The problem is a lot of these people are not really representative of black
Americans. Go ask black Americans right now, if you could pay for a free ticket for them to go to any
country outside the United States to live forevermore, no one would take it.
So someone like this, let's be really, really clear.
She doesn't speak for most black Americans, nor do the BuzzFeed boldly lesbians.
We need to be really clear about this.
I feel like black people in the media, unfortunately, are often represented by social justice warrior leftists and not the true average black American voice who is probably the moderate base of the Democratic Party today.
Right, more to the center than anyone would consider them, either based on values or a deeply religious history.
I mean, so much of what I've learned personally about Black History Month is the connection to religion that sustained families who were coming out of slavery.
That's a huge thing.
The main message you hear is, nope, definitely religion is for white people.
Schooling is for white people.
These are all the young ones.
All the young, like millennials and younger.
What I would say is not, it's not all of them.
It's what you're seeing in the vocal minority, when people like Pearson Savalia are saying, look at how bad this is.
Look, let's all stand up and go.
And I say, make it like the club.
One in, one out.
You want to go?
All right, great.
We're going to let someone else come into the country who is excited to be here and they know that their skin color doesn't matter to their ability to be successful.
Right, but it matters to Kristen Zavalli.
Because how many Guess Who characters are going to fold down when you get to the point you're just winning, you're stacking the deck?
So yes, listen, even though you, let's be clear, you may run into The occasional, let's say, white racist farmer in Cedar Rapids.
I don't know.
I'm not familiar with Cedar Rapids.
If there's one farmer who's like, I don't know.
Listen, don't lump me in.
I don't know.
Let's call it your neighbor.
But a black American is far safer, say, in Burlington, Vermont, or Frisco, Texas, or Cedar Rapids than Chicago.
It's not even close.
And the good news is, black Americans, you can move to any of those places and you can still get BET.
Yeah.
What about the O Network?
I'm not entirely familiar with the O Network, but I know who she is, but I've never watched it.
That being said, I'm sure there's a package available for that.
See, all the white people, they get to watch their Matlock, and you, black Americans, Christians, you can watch your Family Matters or your Mo apostrophe Nique.
Big Tech has something for everyone.
By the way, hit the notification bell.
If you're subscribed, because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot these days, hit all notifications.
And we also have the channel Crowder Bits up on YouTube, which is ironically, I think, monetized, and this channel is not.
Can't make sense of it?
Don't even try to.
Mug Club.
We're funded by mugs, not a foreign caliphate.
Here's another claim.
The term Blacksit is used, and she uses this in her article, in essence, and talks about it.
The term Blacksit is used to describe black Americans leaving the country due to racism to live Somewhere else.
And this is important because this person is brought on to television programs to talk about the black sit.
You know, and of course, everything used to be a gate.
After Watergate, now everything's a sit.
After Brexit, it was like Brexit, black sit.
Bop it.
That was a fun, flick it, spin it.
What about the bump it?
The bump it?
Bump it's a hair thing.
Is that a hair thing?
It goes under your hair.
Makes you have a bump in your hair.
Oh, yeah.
Why would you want a bump under your hair?
I don't know.
You're going to have to ask.
Someone says, ah, I want the hematoma look.
Country ladies.
Can I look like I just went four rounds with Buster Douglas and someone has to put cold stainless steel compress here?
I feel like that'll really work for me.
This is a good look.
It's going to catch on.
No, not bump it.
We were talking about Bop it?
Blacksit.
Somebody it's!
That's the point.
Let's go back to Gate.
Blackgate.
No, that's worse.
Blacksit.
Let's go Blacksit.
Was that the prison in Dark Max?
Come on, Blackgate!
Arise, Blacksit with me!
Okay, so this term is used, and what does that assume?
It assumes that it's actually going on.
A Blacksit, which is coined by activists.
It's not!
Statistically, there is no Blexit.
Funny story, actually.
Funny you should ask, viewer who I can't speak with but I can spy on your webcam because you don't have a sticky note or use ExpressVPN.
Under President Donald Trump, the single fastest growing group of illegal immigrants is...
African!
With a number of African immigrants growing at a rate of almost 50% from 2010 to 2018.
And a third of those were just Obama's half-brothers!
So much family.
A lot of family.
He doesn't even know all that much.
It's a big family.
That's great.
Dreams of his father.
Paternity test from his father.
So by the way, in this country immediately following, this is important to know, the
abolition of slavery, some free slaves were offered travel back to Africa where there's
a designated plot of land for the people who wanted to leave partially funded by Congress.
Most free slaves were, they were not thrilled with it.
They decided, you know what?
You keep your one way.
You know what?
I have heard of Blacksit, though.
Really?
Actually, no joke.
Actually, the article I read today about Blacksit was about the number of African-Americans who are deciding that they cannot be a part of the Democratic Party if it's going to support socialism.
Yes.
And just saying, this doesn't stand by our values.
Our values are more aligned on the conservative side, or at least in the independent.
The 95-year-old Jewish curmudgeon who tips 12% doesn't do anything for them?
Nothing.
He doesn't have his finger to the pulse of black America?
He doesn't.
Someone tell him he needs to watch Precious.
Oh, that's true.
That's it.
He's just a little bit out of touch.
We all have our blind spots.
Here's another claim.
Yeah, that is true.
Is that the Candace Owens Blacksit thing?
And now they're trying to... Yeah.
Blacksit.
Blacksit.
Oh, Blacksit.
So this is Blacksit.
Blacksit, yeah.
You just changed a letter!
I know.
Ugh!
Now, not saying Blacksit.
Not that blacks who are leaving are lazy.
You, Sabin Ali, are lazy.
You just changed one letter to get on CNN in a quadrant view.
Come up with a new name!
All right.
Here's another claim.
This is from the article.
According to the SPLC, you hear this a lot, the number of hate groups has risen.
Truth?
Bullsh**.
Very much so.
The SPLC includes churches, some of which I think are actually at least
half black churches and groups like the Proud Boys, which is a glorified drinking
club. There aren't more actual hate groups, they've just broadened their definition.
Second, a review using the same methodology that we're talking about here,
is these widely touted hate crime studies.
Here's a surprise, here comes some cold water.
It showed that Clinton's rallies were linked to an even greater rise in
So, either the methodology is flawed, or Hillary is 100% neo-Nazi.
She just saw Dershowitz, she has that Gestapo look in her eyes, someone get the valium pen, calm her ass down.
I mean, it's just remarkable to me.
We're supposed to believe that Hillary Clinton is Ed Furlong in American History X?
I don't believe that's the case.
I don't think that Hillary Clinton having a rally where nobody shows up or Elizabeth Warren is equivalent to someone being curb stomped in a hate crime.
But if we're using your standards, you're worse.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's another point.
The article, right, it goes on to cite that black Americans living in places like Ghana and Qatar, that they should be places where black Americans maybe should move to to achieve a higher standard of living and less discrimination.
They argue that some black people have moved to these countries.
Black people from the United States.
This is the problem with this.
This is the divide and conquer.
I'm sorry, even in my own head right now, I'm not gonna lie to you.
I wanna say black, blacks, African-Americans, I keep correcting, no, I'm just gonna say blacks because you know my heart and I don't really care.
I can't say African-American when we're talking about a black American who went to Qatar.
Fuck you, black people, white people.
That's an easier descriptor for this right now.
You wanna say that that's racist?
Okay, just like when I watch the UFC or boxing and they describe one guy in the red trunks and one guy in the black trunks.
Well, how we describe the guy in the black trunks He's black, and him is white.
It's a white guy and a black guy fighting.
Why do we have to act like we're going by the trunks?
We're all going by the melanin.
Doesn't mean we hate the white guy.
Tyson Fury?
I dig him.
So, the truth.
And I don't not like Deontay Wilder because he's black.
Actually, Deontay Wilder, period.
The truth about all, it's complete bullcrap.
The quality of life is far, far lower in places like Qatar, despite what Clock Boy tells you.
And they still have indentured servitude to this day!
What happened to the slavery argument?
Under the Qatar, they have these things called sponsorship laws, okay?
Sponsors can, I want to make sure I get this right, cancel workers' residency permits, prevent them from changing employers, deny them permission to leave the country, and they can report them to the police if they do so.
There are similar laws in the UAE, other countries, and the Gulf states.
Yikes.
Are you familiar?
It's very extensive.
Yes.
I mean, this is decades long, and the growth of UAE and other Gulf states, I mean, it especially affects sub-continental Asia, like India, Pakistan, and some of the Southeast Asian countries, where people come over being told the exact lies that Kristen Cavalia, whatever her name is, is saying, oh, it's going to be great, the standard of living is going to be excellent.
And it's like, yeah, if you're the person hiring the indentured Their slave trade was much worse than the American slave trade.
Like, the death rate was under 10%.
Like, 10% lived.
Oh, really?
You mean the survival rate was 10%?
Yeah, the survival rate.
Yeah, I was gonna say, that's actually not a bad death rate.
That's a bad survival rate, though.
It's less than 90.
If you flip the numbers.
No, it's true, though.
People don't understand this because they've just been saturated with the idea that the Americans created the slave trade.
No, in these countries, there is no Harriet Tubman because she's not even allowed to drive a choo-choo.
Also, there are no ju-jus.
What?
Ben's never been there?
I don't know, because he was sued by Clock Boy.
How funny would that be if Ben had to be extradited to be sued by Clock Boy?
They'd just snatch him up in a clandestine mission.
That's another hoax that no one really reviews.
Remember when we remembered Clock Boy?
If you don't remember, it was all over the news.
People were like, how dare this school kick him out?
Turns out it was a total hoax.
A kid put a Phillips alarm clock in an old Samsonite.
Now we don't revisit it.
Okay, good for you.
It's good that you guys, meaning the leftists, it's good that you control the media because you never have to pay for your mistakes.
By the way, women in prison in Qatar, while we're not just talking about people of different
races, women sentenced for being raped,
sentenced to prison for being raped.
I wanna make sure I'm clear, this is not hyperbole at all.
An actual quote, a court handed down a suspended one year imprisonment
sentence for engaging in extramarital sex and deported her.
It also sentenced the man accused of raping her with 100 lashes for having extramarital sex
and 40 lashes for drinking alcohol.
So she, and this is what's important, not just that she was punished for being raped.
They acknowledged that she was raped because they punished the man for raping her,
but he was punished less severely than the woman who was raped.
And 40% of that same punishment was just because he drank alcohol.
Right, exactly.
So if you just like do the, like, I don't know, transitive property,
raping is, if you drink two puddles of alcohol in that nation, it's the equivalent of rape.
Listen, I just want to figure out my risk-reward ratio here.
If I rape her, I will be punished about two shots of Jagermeister.
Okay, okay, that seems like a fair trade.
Forty lashes, alright, okay, this is going to hurt.
That didn't get too dark.
This whole segment is dark.
I hate that we even have to talk about this.
I hate that I have to acknowledge someone who's a leftist activist claiming to speak for black Americans, telling black Americans they should leave this country because people like us want to harm black Americans without impunity.
It is just mind-numbing to me.
And you know what that does?
That breeds more hatred with young black Americans.
If they see their people in charge saying that all the time, they're going to believe that people like us Hate black Americans and want to harm them.
We don't want that.
We don't want to see that for anybody.
The exact point here is to create division, right?
Her entire point is you should be scared of anyone who looks or you think looks white, right?
Bill's sick today.
He's a little more pale.
All right, you're gonna be afraid of him.
Most days, he's totally fine.
No big deal.
You and John Henry, good buddies.
But no, that's the problem is, her entire mission is to be able to create division.
Without that division, no one gets her on the news.
So anytime anyone puts her on there, they are literally saying, I want to make sure that this message of division, based on false facts, is spread.
Right.
Now, it's a good point.
And by the way, also, the proponents, speaking of Asian, and I appreciate that you look whiter today because of your violent illness, they set examples of blacks living in Egypt, Vietnam.
So, let's go.
The average yearly income in a place like Vietnam is $2,300.
For Ghana, it's $2,100.
Egypt, you up it a little bit, $2,800.
That's annual income.
Egypt, you up it a little bit, $2,800.
That's annual income.
So let's get this straight.
This author and proponents of the Blacksit movement and the people on the media who host them
and their little, you know, three sectional views despite them being in the same studio.
They never tell you that story?
I don't know if I can say the name.
I think it was CNN.
It might have been Fox News.
This was years ago.
And they put us in different, like, quadrants, you know?
But we were in the same studio.
And toward the end I said, all right, and it was Doug Schoen.
I said, all right, Doug, high five.
And I reached into his quadrant.
And I got torn apart by the brass, like, do not do that!
We have to keep the illusion alive that we're important!
They need us!
They'll think they don't need us if they don't know that you're not in a quadrant from different locales!
They thought you were in Iowa, man!
The whole house of cards comes crumbling down if your hand goes in their quadrants.
Doug Schoen, my god, he's one of the best!
He's not quite Lonnie Davis, but he's right up there!
So hold on a second, let me get this straight.
Was that a slight?
Little bit.
Let's get this straight.
This author and these people are advising blacks to move to places not only where slavery is effectively still practiced, but where the yearly income is less than $3,000 a year.
Right?
While the median yearly income in the United States has increased more than $4,000 under Trump.
It's increased more than the total salary.
Total income of people in these countries.
And I get it, but if you go over there, where are you going to buy your sweet cakes?
Where will she get those hoop earrings and hairnets?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
I assume that there they can probably steal them from an indentured servant.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
By the way, that's humanizing.
Those are shower curtain rings.
A lot of people don't know.
She's resourceful!
Recycling.
Oh man, good for the environment.
So, I think you will see this narrative, by the way, we do have to get going to the Ash Wednesday.
I think you'll see this narrative increasing as we go into the election.
Especially, by the way, if Bloomberg is still in the race because the argument on race will, I think it'll become even more heated if it's Bloomberg.
If it's Pete Buttigieg, expect more accusations.
The argument will center around homophobia.
Just like, remember everyone who voted against Obama was branded a racist and then that switched to sexist overnight when Hillary Clinton was running?
If the gay Alfred E. Newman lookalike secures the nomination, then they're going to play the gay card for Pete Buttigieg.
But I think those are more sexism and homophobia.
They're more seasonal.
They're more seasonal, right?
Like pumpkin spice.
The race card is always The ace up their sleeve.
The race card is like the star on the menu that this is chef's recommendation all the time.
It's a concept, yeah.
Hey, I use mine all the time.
Anytime someone's like, oh, Bill should drive.
I'm like, Asian?
Nope.
Right.
Not doing it.
Unsafe.
Exactly.
And then, for some reason, then sometimes you claim that you're a cholo.
I am definitely a cholo.
You've told me stories that have confused you, and you just didn't correct them.
Why?
Why not?
It kept me safe.
I mean, why?
Why would I correct it?
I've watched him respond with, yeah, essay.
I'm like, why are you doing that?
He was actually just writing an essay, is what he was doing.
He goes to night school still.
So here's my preemptive question.
Let me ask you this.
Genuine question.
Where on earth, right now, today, in 2020, do blacks have it better than in the United States?
Let me be clear.
Is there some discrimination?
Of course.
To what degree?
That's a conversation, and it's one that I think that we should have.
That's where it's a productive conversation.
Are there individual racists?
Absolutely.
Quarterback Garrett is proof.
Slavery was awful.
Of course.
Right?
Got it?
I have to be really clear.
You have to say this 20 times as a white person if you're even touching the subject of race.
What's your opinion on slavery?
Slavery was terrible.
It was awful.
Don't make me have to repeat myself so that someone cuts it out of context.
You're my lawyer.
You're going to have to be on my defense team.
You don't want those kinds of hours.
Slavery was awful.
Got it?
After we abolished slavery in the United States, it was still awful.
In the continent of Africa.
And it's still awful to this day!
In parts of Africa, it's worse.
But in all of Africa, it's still worse than the United States.
But see, all of these things, all of the above can be true.
Black Americans can face different forms of discrimination and still be living in the best place in the world for someone of their skin color.
Period.
Maybe that's my blind spot talking.
White privilege.
Let's go to Ask Schwedensday.
That right there is the one expensive item I own.
Lighter for my wife.
My wife got it.
She got a great deal on it for our anniversary, and she wanted to get me something special.
And she always gets mad when I say my wife got a great deal on it for our anniversary.
Just like I got her... Oh, nice of you to join us there, Gerald A. Gerald!
Honey Frank!
Sorry, guys.
Because apparently this time around his pants would not suffice.
He makes it for the Ash Wednesday.
I love how we're covering for the fact that we just didn't tell him the episode started.
By the way, I also grew a beard.
My wife hates me telling this story that I got her engagement ring on Craigslist.
That's a great deal.
I got a great deal.
Did I ever tell you this story?
I think you did.
I know bits and pieces.
And by the way, for Ask Wednesday, you guys can send in your videos.
We take your video questions at loudmouthcutter.com slash ask.
That's right.
Ask slash ask.
You can send in your videos.
So what happened was I decided I wanted to propose to my now wife, then girlfriend.
Right.
Follow.
And I went on, at this point I didn't really know anything.
So I said, let me look on, someone said, go check out the rings on Craigslist.
I said, that sounds good.
Yeah.
So why didn't I check it out?
And there was a woman who said, this is confirmed, has the, uh, Zales, like, code, they put them underneath the little diamond, looking under, you know, this thing?
It's not a microscope, but what is this thing?
A loop.
A loop?
That's it?
A jeweler's loop.
That doesn't sound scientific at all.
A microscope, a telescope, what are you, I need a loop!
No.
What?
Like off 121?
It's a loop, she can... What are you, sending Muppets to Fantasy Island?
I can't help you.
This is your language, America.
Touché, right.
And in China, it would be like 19 syllables.
By the way, I have a question for you about Wencheng tonight.
Perfect.
So, what happened is it says, okay, this is a legitimate ring, and it's a steep discount, because I don't know if you know this, but diamonds are valueless, effectively.
It's just the way that it works, the way the industry works.
So, diamonds from last year are like nothing this year, which is weird to me, because it doesn't seem seasonal.
It's not like bell-bottoms.
It's a rock.
They say diamonds are forever, not like diamonds are for the spring season, for swimsuit season.
Nobody would see that James Bond movie.
No, not at all.
Um, and, uh, though, you know, what do we know?
I didn't think that octopussy would ever be allowed on a poster.
Right.
Yeah.
That's right out there.
Great point.
Think about that.
Good point.
But don't worry.
Think about that.
It's like, what's this?
It's squid vagina.
That is what, it's not even suggestive.
Steven, you know an octopus is not a squid, right?
I, well, okay.
Yes, and a whale shark's not a whale.
That's correct.
I'm glad you learned that lesson finally.
It's been years.
All squares are rectangles.
True!
They're just short, even rectangles!
So let me get to the story that my wife hates, because we had a slight disagreement this morning, and I really just want to dig the knife in right now.
So she hates me telling the story that I had a great deal on her engagement ring.
So I meet this lady, and I notice what's happening.
She's faking, like she's on the phone, because she's posting ads on Craigslist for these diamonds.
So she's under the impression that I might rape her.
What?
And so she's on the phone talking like, yeah, sweetheart, I'll be home soon.
And I'm sitting there and I'm like, no, no, I'm not going to, I'm not, I don't want to,
I'm not going to rape you.
I just want the diamond.
And, and then, you know, and then I found out that diamond is a slang term for ladies.
And I was like, no, the, the, the rock.
And then that's a slang term for drugs.
Right.
This part is not real.
I mean, it's true, but this wasn't what was most important.
So I went into Zales, and I said, hey, do you guys use your loop?
And they said, yeah, we'll confirm.
Yeah, that's from last year's diamond.
And they were trying to sell me on this year's diamond collection.
I think that's a lie.
I said, no, thank you.
So it was confirmed.
I purchased it at like 50% off the purchase price.
Nice.
And my wife thought it was the sweetest thing that she had ever received until I told her the story, and she was very pissed.
It doesn't matter where you got the ring.
Yeah, come on.
You put a lot of thought into that.
She just didn't like that I'm more enthusiastic about the discount than the engagement.
Alright, so now we've gotten to the meat of the matter.
You saved that money to spend on her in other ways.
Yeah.
Or an old Ford Taurus.
At the time I didn't have any money.
Also doesn't work.
I saved the money for you, honey.
She's like, no, fine, cash, right now.
Boom, bring me, give me the discount.
Because apparently my wife's a hooker.
Uh...
What am I, picking her up off the 405 like Eddie Murphy?
Wait, hold on. You're saying your wife doesn't demand cash from you?
I told... I told mine that time.
You come from a weird... the wet markets are the least of your worries.
It is a bizarre culture.
They sell wives too.
Do they?
Yeah, that's true.
Mail order. Who knew?
And you know what?
They respect the man of the household.
I will say that.
They should.
I did know a guy who actually did get a Filipino mail order bride, and he was like 90-something.
What?
And I tell you what, they loved each other until the day he died.
Wow.
It was a brief window.
Three weeks later, yeah.
But she was really sweet.
Then she married Cheryl.
You get a ticket to America.
She did, but she stayed with him.
What does everybody Wang Chun tonight mean, by the way?
I wanted to ask you that.
I'm only half Asian.
You said you speak Chinese!
I can't confirm.
The only words I know in Chinese are hurry up, you're in trouble, you're fat, get over here.
Because those are the things that were yelled at me when I was a kid.
Your mom yelled at you?
My mom, my grandma, my aunts.
Everybody, okay.
I felt loved.
How tastes piano key?
She jammed piano key.
Bamboo.
No, no, no.
Those go in the ears.
They go in the ears.
You don't taste that.
You sound flat.
White people, terrible children discipline.
And I'm not going to spring for cochlear implant.
That's just rude.
It's a double whammy.
Your cruelty and your frugality.
All right, so louderwithcrowder.com slash ask.
We have some video questions today for Ash Wednesday.
Do we have a pairing, by the way?
We have a pairing.
Oh, a pairing of the week.
Let me see the pairing of the week.
There's a domo and some buffalo traces.
They didn't even send a picture.
No picture.
I don't believe them.
I think they're a teetotaler who lies, and they want us to believe that they're a man, but they're not.
Mormon.
Let's go to the first video from the fans and start off Ash Wednesday.
Hey, guys.
How are you guys doing?
I've been watching you guys a little bit.
It's been fun.
I hope you guys like the brewing set over here in New Hampshire.
I just want to say I appreciate you guys doing that segment with Rhett and Link.
My thing I had said, I'm kind of walking throughout life with a kid who is struggling with his faith.
I brought up a lot of the same things that they're bringing up, and I've listened to their thing, too, because that's a big thing with the high schoolers.
I lead a high school ministry right now in my town, and that's a lot of things that are coming up right now with faith deconstruction and stuff like that.
So I really appreciate you guys diving into that tonight.
Love listening to you guys.
Man, I'm just praying for you guys.
It's been pretty tough right now.
Hope you guys are staying safe.
If you guys have any advice on, you know, what maybe are some good books to kind of go to during this time, especially for high schoolers.
Yeah, I appreciate that, but stay safe.
Be good.
See you soon.
Well, I really appreciate the, I don't think we got a name, but I really appreciate the video as far as which books to go to, how to edit.
Yeah.
Well, and I think he made a thread at the end.
See you soon.
Yeah.
Really?
No, no, no.
That was a very nice video.
But I do, I do find it odd when he was like, I hope you like the Boston Bruins hat.
Why?
First off, why would we like it?
And why would you hope?
Yeah.
Isn't there other, like you can hope for other things.
A lot of other things.
You know, that you don't get the, The thing, you know.
You can hope for two things at the same time.
Yeah, but why would you waste a hope on hope you like the Boston Bruins hat?
Because I'm from New Hampshire.
First off...
What?
Okay.
I'm not sure what the connection might be.
But I do appreciate, as far as books, I assume that he means like books on apologetics.
That's really more Gerald and Audio Wade's territory.
And I actually, you know, you taught me a lot about that when we had to do the whole sort of talk Islam rebuttal, which by the way, I appreciate you going into bat for me against the Pakistani government.
For people who don't know, follow me on Twitter.
I had a formal complaint and request of removal to Twitter from not someone in Pakistan, but Pakistan.
All of Pakistan got together and wants to kill Steven.
And I didn't even need to open the tweet in question that was reported as a violation.
I'm pretty sure it's the painting Mohammed.
It's gotta be.
Let me narrow it down.
Spoiler alert.
There you go.
Do you have books?
I do.
In line with a lot of this quote-unquote deconstruction thing, it frustrates me.
I understand the movement.
I hate that language.
I do too.
That's where I'm going.
People right now are bringing up a lot of arguments.
He's not a heathen asshole, he's deconstructing!
That is a better way of saying it, I guess.
Synonym!
Marian Webster says, hellbound!
Interesting, didn't know that.
Is that one word?
So, it's two words.
I think it's hyphen.
We're a little loose with the hyphenation.
Yeah, we are, yeah.
So, I think one of the best books that I've come across that really helps you understand the Christian faith from a non-Christian perspective is, and this is out there and everybody talks about it, C.S.
Lewis wrote a book.
Mere Christianity.
Yeah, Mere Christianity.
It's fantastic.
So, it's a great place to start for a lot of people who don't want to read a Christian-y type of book, right?
Something that's just, you know, big on the language.
I was going to say that, but I figured you guys had something like that.
I figured that would be sort of the vanilla.
Well, it is.
Stephen's saying he thought you would have a better answer.
I do have a better answer.
I think that's a great answer, but I know it's a very common answer.
Yeah, this is the beginning of the answer.
What would you say to their audio, Wade?
Yeah, I'd also recommend another C.S.
Lewis book called Miracles.
I really, really enjoyed that one.
It's more of a philosophical bent kind of thing.
Not to be confused with that sh**ty John Travolta film.
No, that was bad.
Please don't confuse the two.
Wait, was that Miracle, or is that... Wait, what am I... Miracle.
Kurt Russell.
Was that Miracle?
No, I'm thinking of Phenomenon.
Phenomenon, yes.
There was Phenomenon, and then Michael.
Both very similar covers.
Both terrible.
Another really great book, it's actually a debate book between Christopher Hitchens and a guy named Doug Wilson, and they wrote articles back and forth.
we're supposed to be impressed. We're not. Nor was the Swedish masseuse.
And another really great book, it's actually a debate book between Christopher Hitchens
and a guy named Doug Wilson, and they wrote articles back and forth. It's called Is Christianity
Good for the World? Very short little book, but it really, really highlights a lot of
really important points.
Another one would be God in the Dock.
So I gave you the basic answer first and this is a little bit more.
Don't spend too much time on it.
This isn't Oprah's book club.
Summary.
Well, no, I was going to say, give me a summary.
No, no, no.
It's, it's, it's articles back and forth, essentially for a debate club.
Like you would bring up a question and then later, uh, the, I think it was the next week, the other person would have a chance to rebut, right?
So they gave you time to actually go.
It's not like a Johnny on the spot thing.
Like you have to know the answer right now to rebut this.
It's what's actual truth out there.
What can we go find?
Yeah.
And I think those books are really good, and I would say often watching debates on, you can watch them on YouTube, that's one thing that you didn't really have access to for a long time.
You think about like college professors either lecturing or debating, and you can watch that.
And something that I've done quite a bit, as far as, if you're talking about obviously a knowledge base, a biblical knowledge base in theology, you need to read a book.
But if you're talking about sort of I guess putting that in an environment or making it appropriate, you know, having appropriate information at the ready for a debate, that's where watching debates live, and what I'll often do is watch debates live, try and find the person who I think is probably the best on the opposing side of, opposing point of view, and I'll pause it.
So what I'll do is I'll have them answer like it's real time, pause it, and then answer as though it's in real time.
My wife knows that I'll do that before, whether we do a change of mind or have a debate here, an actual debate on the show, where I'll just be in my office for, because listen, I'm not a very skilled debater at all.
I kind of fell ass backwards into this.
I'm not someone like a Ben Shapiro or Thomas Sowell, but that is a really useful tool.
And you just say, I am not going to allow myself to stammer.
I'm not going to allow myself to buy any, you just act as though you are in front of that lecture hall.
Pause it, answer in real time.
I'd say one other thing is a lot of folks are familiar with... That's what I was about!
Why are you stepping on my joke?
Now the Chinese audience knows the punchline, but for the Americans, what I was gonna say... Wade likes the racism a little bit.
I know!
So much!
We bond over it, what can I say?
I used to hate audio, Wade.
I was like, I hate audio.
I hate Wade's.
It's a terrible combination.
I hate everything about you.
Is to actually go back, because there's a lot of folks who will say, oh, you know, I read Mere Christianity, and maybe they read it in, you know, he's leading a high school ministry, which is excellent, but some folks may have read this, or read parts of it, or read it in a time where they weren't ready for the message, and I do find that going back to reading some of these books, if you've read any of the ones that were suggested, you should go back and try it again, and read it again, because I think you will have a different perspective.
Yeah.
So that's, even at the very least, even if you're someone who's like, I don't want to read a new book, just go back and revisit the old ones.
So, it'd be a good opportunity.
I saw that Joel has something to say, but I will say, hey, by the way, my cigar today is the Rocky Patel Sun Grown Maduro.
It was rated, I think, number two in Cigar Aficionados Cigar, was it 2017, 2018?
But the point is, you know it's not my favorite cigar.
That remains a mystery.
I've never gotten more requests than on social media for people saying, can you please tell me about the cigar?
I've literally said, one thing I want to keep for me.
I tell you everything else!
The best coffee!
The best fire!
I might as well just give away my favorite things for free, but it's a limited run of cigars, and I know that's how... We're a victim of our own success.
We advertise things, they sell out.
Rocky Patel's Sun-Drawn Maduro.
It's good, but it's not that good.
Your point.
All right, so this is a broader point.
When you're leading a ministry like this, these are not new arguments that people are coming up with.
Rhett and Link, those guys, they're not coming up with new things that they're talking about.
You can get caught flat-footed sometimes and like, well, have you ever heard about the Egyptian Horus or something like this?
This all existed before, right?
You need to go out and watch somebody who is, and I know I sounded a little like Alex Jones there on accident.
I don't want to let the cat out of the bag here and there's a good chance that I won't be here tomorrow if right people or wrong people see this broadcast.
They're trying to control you through the tail of Horus, folks.
The good news is the mind control chemical agents do not function if you purchase Colloidal silver also effective against coronavirus.
That's correct.
Exactly.
So I think go out and watch somebody who is making the arguments.
There's plenty of people out there, the atheists, that are making these arguments about, you know, that the Bible isn't accurate, it can't be trusted, and all these different things.
Don't just read up on Christianity Today's website or something like that.
Somebody who's out there saying, oh no, it's totally fine.
Go read what people are saying to these people so that you can understand the arguments that you're going to face, right?
It's kind of like when you prep for Change My Mind.
You go through all of the best arguments that somebody can make, and you're like, well, what do I think about these things?
It's a little different, and I will say the Change My Mind approach, and you know, I know we should write the book and get this out, and people have been kind of asking for it, and I want to get it out to you.
If you join up at Mug Club, it allows us to do all of these things and give them away at, effectively, up the price of cost.
But Change My Mind is a good approach because it's a Socratic method where people often say, oh, the debate.
Well, no, we've actually debated plenty of people on the show.
And we have calls out to professors.
As a matter of fact, the last Change My Mind we did, we were called out by a professor.
We said, well, let's do a debate.
And then, you know, they don't want to do it.
But Change My Mind is not a debate.
It really is, ironically, about trying to change somebody else's mind and allowing them
to approach you and change your mind.
So it sets it up in a non-confrontational manner, especially with issues of faith.
I think that's a good way to handle it.
Yeah, like a conversation.
There are two things that I, you know, in kind of doing research, like when we do a
meat segment, you know, my brilliant researcher, Reg, who's just so much smarter than I could
ever hope to be, and I'm, thank Christ, he's on our side.
And I mean that.
I literally sometimes go, Jesus, thank you.
Thank you for Reg.
Thank you.
hate me. Yeah. Because he could destroy everything that I hold dear.
So not using the Lord's name in vain, I actually say that prayer.
Literally.
It's the Crowder prayer.
And we kind of do when we do research for the meat segment, we go, OK, what's the fastest route to victory?
What is the need to know?
That's very, very different from trying to convince someone as to why your point of view might be valid.
That's a long ball approach.
It takes kind of guiding them down the path, getting them to question their points of view first.
And I think, especially with faith, because at a certain point, as bold as some Christians out there want to be, There's always an element of faith.
Not everything can be answered, and so you have to be prepared for that, and you have to create some kind of a connection before you go into some kind of information that you think is a trump card, and anyone who tells you it's easy or it's simple has never done it in real life, because it is not easy or simple, and you can be caught flat-footed, especially if you, like, that's what happens with Trump in debates.
They prepare, you know, Ted Cruz, I guarantee you, was prepared for all curveballs.
He said, your dad killed JFK.
What the fuck?
What happened?
You can't prepare for that.
You can't prepare for that.
And look at Curly Fiorita's face.
All right, let's go on.
We have another one at lottothedder.com slash ask.
♫ Hey, Steven, this is a fan here.
I want to ask you a quick question.
I'm currently on my toilet, as I should be.
So I just asked this girl prom, and she said yes, thankfully.
But I don't know what to do next.
I don't know if I should talk to her, get a text?
I don't want to pursue a relationship with her at all.
Yeah.
That's kind of all that I have to say.
So thank you for all you do.
See you later.
Bye.
Otherwise, I have so many questions about the question.
There are a lot of presumptions.
I'm in the bathroom, as I should be, along with my Boston Bruins cap.
That would have completed you.
Did you crap in your Bruins cap?
How funny would it be if he was just wearing a New Jersey Devil's cap and his toilet was one big Boston Bruins?
That would be great.
That would be a connection.
So he asks a young lady to prom that he does not want to pursue anything with, which is fine, whatever.
If you're going to treat it that way, you're going to treat it that way.
But why would you, if you're going to do that, why would you continue to What's the question, man?
Just take her to prom and don't take her to prom.
Oh, he's gay!
It's a beard.
It's gotta be a beard.
That was where I was gonna go with this.
I had a girlfriend in high school.
She was a sweet girl.
She did nothing wrong.
She was very pretty.
Out of my league.
And what happened was I just wasn't over my other girlfriend.
I dated a girl for like five years and we broke up for a period of about a year.
And so I asked her out and then I realized that I still had feelings for my ex-girlfriend and I just avoided her.
Oh no.
for like a month and a half and I still feel bad about it because she did nothing wrong
and I wanted to, I didn't want to be unfair to her and build up a really intimate relationship
and then cut it off and so I just tried, and I should have just broken up with her.
So maybe he's coming at it from that angle where he didn't really want to go to prom
with her but maybe he felt that she was lonely and he's gracing her with that punim.
She should be so grateful.
Right, exactly.
Well, here's the thing, you know, kind of silver lining, proms aren't happening this year, so I guess you're off the hook, Chief.
That's true, yeah.
Wait, is this a setup?
Maybe that's what it is.
Cough on her door handle and call it a day.
Who sent in a question about asking someone to a prom that's not happening?
I think he's a liar.
I think there's a lot going on here.
I don't know, that was a toilet.
I think that was a glorified bidet.
A bidet.
A bidet is in a toilet.
Alright, someone else talk.
So, do we have any other questions?
Yeah, we have plenty of other questions.
I guess we ran out of runway on that one pretty quickly.
If that was a runway, that was an Eastern African completely deserted bombshell runway of a question.
Why it's gotta be African?
Could be in the Yunnan province.
Haven't you seen Lord of War?
Come on.
But if that's the question, maybe it's like... Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hold that thought, hold that thought.
The guy whose favorite film is Constantine just referenced the shittiest Nicolas Cage film.
No, no, no.
That's not the shittiest Nicolas Cage film.
You should be switching.
No.
Hold on.
That is a shittiest movie.
Yes.
But that is not the shittiest.
Yeah, that is not.
Not that Nicolas Cage has done.
He has done some bad ones.
Are you?
My God, that's middle of the road for him.
Yeah, okay.
But for your, in your best picks, it's Upper Echelon.
Yeah, that's.
Oh yeah, it's a top five.
It's not Warlord.
Oh, right.
I'll just try to assume that he's asking a reasonable question, which is, I asked a girl to prom.
Don't you love how Wade, Audio Wade, is like the friendliest, most polite guy?
But he delivers the biggest gut punches of anyone.
I know, I know.
He just assumes everyone's an idiot.
Yeah, I like you guys.
Yeah, so I'm assuming that he means I asked a girl to prom.
Prom's cancelled.
I guess he left that out.
And then now what do I do?
Because I feel like I have initiated something with her, but I don't want to continue anything.
Maybe that's what it is.
Did you just raise your hand?
I did, because this man just raised his hand.
He needs to learn how to communicate better.
If that is the actual question that he had for us, he needs to spell it out a little bit better.
That's the first step.
Communication skills in a relationship are going to be really important.
Yeah.
Just leave six feet away.
Just say, I can't talk to you anymore.
I don't want to get COVID.
Does anyone get the feeling that Gerald identifies with the girl in this question?
He's like, just tell me.
Just tell me what you want to do.
I don't.
I don't at all.
He watched Never Been Kissed and was like, so true.
That's me.
It looked at the poster, I guess.
Yeah, it cried at the poster.
And I don't mean Mr. Arquette.
Ah.
What's his name?
Will Arquette?
David?
David Arquette.
That's right.
Patricia Arquette is the other one.
Meow.
And it's Arn't Time for Equal Pay!
That was Patricia Arquette, right?
It's Arn't Time!
Take your 77 cents and shut up.
It's true.
Do it.
Count yourself lucky.
If we assume this guy's asking a reasonable question, then my thought is, And he doesn't want to pursue anything.
He should just not text her.
There's no prom.
That's the worst advice.
The first answer here was the right one.
Touch her teats and see what happens.
In our assumption, they can't see each other.
They're not going to prom.
How is he going to do that?
Our assumption, they can't see each other, they're not going to prom.
How is he going to do that?
Logistics, Steven.
Gerald, did you say teat?
I did.
Oh my gosh.
And I don't want you to give me a hard time about it.
What was the correct word?
Gerald, I want to hear you say it.
What was the original word?
Breast.
That's not the word at all.
No.
Teton.
I really appreciate the look of disappointment that you have.
Like a father who caught his 14-year-old child scrambling porn from the dish.
What?
The cable dish.
Satellite dish.
Descrambling.
Kids don't understand this nowadays.
They have it all accessible and it's disgusting.
I think this is one of those deals where really just be straightforward and just let her like, hey, sorry, prom's off.
Thanks.
Have a nice life.
That's it.
You know?
And then she's just like, oh, am I cute?
Say, no.
And then just go on your merry way.
That's a good, that's actually a good point.
Yeah.
Just tell her that.
Just tell her, listen.
Just regard all the other things you said.
Just say, I only date 10s.
Hey, hey, even better, just send her a link to this video.
There you go.
Timestamp.
Steven said.
Now I feel bad about everything we've done.
I don't.
She's watching this.
Hey, hey, hey, if you're watching this, young lady, You could do better.
Yeah, exactly.
There we go.
You saw the video questions.
He was a kid in a bathroom.
The toilet, man.
And he didn't even have any hockey... Paraphernalia.
Paraphernalia.
I mean, he could have been a nice guy.
No hockey accoutrement.
Accoutrement.
Alright, let's go to the next question here.
Man, these are... These are not questions that really give us a lot to mine right now.
Not top tier.
Next one.
So long.
Hey everybody, I just wanted to get all your opinions.
Accept your lays.
Uh, but I really want, and I have to ask Mark from Bill Richmond, what are some of your favorite classic action movies?
And also, I have something pretty cool to show you, so check this out.
So, let's get started.
Okay, before we go into anything, hold on.
Do you see this?
See, smoking is cool.
Kids, listen up.
I don't know what that was.
It was a faithful, a faithful recreation of the drama.
Listen, he's doing his best!
I appreciate it.
I know he wants half Asian bills, it's probably Lord of War, but my favorite, like, as far as bad action film, because I think most action films are terrible and people deceive themselves into thinking that they are good.
Yeah.
Cobra is what it is.
It is the ultimate terrible film, because there's a little hint of self-awareness, but not enough to make the bad not a level worth appreciating.
You are a connoisseur of bad films.
So contextually, actually, growing up, I only watched one action movie, and I watched it over 30 times, because it was the only video that we had on tape at my house that was an action movie, and I was grounded the rest of the time.
Couldn't watch TV, we didn't have cable, obviously there was no YouTube at that time, or whatever else you could use to steal movies.
So I watched Speed.
Over 30 times.
Is that an action movie?
That's because you saw a portion of yourself in Keanu.
I did.
And Sandra Bullock, too.
Both of them.
Unfortunately, I have not seen a lot of what people consider to be the classic action movies.
I didn't see Top Gun until I was in college.
At that point, I was still like, I get why people like it, but I don't personally like it.
So, speed.
Speed, not bad.
Cobra is right up there for me as far as action films.
I think as far as the best kind of action film, it would be Terminator 2.
I don't know how James Cameron did something right, that's the only time that I can think of.
And yes, I am including the alien films.
Comment below, I don't give a rat's ass.
I was told not to answer by this prick, but nonetheless.
Hey, obviously we don't have any respect for the people that ask the questions.
Yeah, we love you!
You know we love you!
We gotta give you a hard time.
It's like you're on the show.
No, I love Terminator 2.
That's the very, very, very best.
But, like, as the bad ones that are kind of funny, like Tango and Cash was, like, badly funny.
You know what I mean?
And then, uh, I actually like Predator.
A lot.
Yes!
Original Predator.
Actually, the most recent Predator was the best in the series.
Which, uh, with Ian Peel?
Or with, uh, Peel, is that?
I can't remember which one it is.
Yeah, they're two separate black gentlemen.
I know they are, but they...
The name... I don't know which is which.
I really don't.
Is it Keegan?
Mr. Hall and Oates?
And I know they're not black.
Keegan-Michael Key.
Yeah, which one?
Keegan-Michael Key.
Keegan-Michael Key.
I thought it was actually very good.
I thought it was reading predator because it didn't take itself seriously and was kind of a wink and a laugh at the previous franchise.
Yeah, it was.
Audio?
I don't think you've seen it yet.
Well, as far as classic action stuff, I really like the old In Mission Impossible TV show.
I really enjoy that one.
Oh, you must have...
Do we need to replay that 19-minute question video?
He did say movies.
He said films.
Films, yes.
Films.
Well, yeah, fine.
I don't have enough.
Well, you got me there, Steven.
So that's the thing.
Once you get Wade off of his sort of pre-written through line of crapping on everybody, he's not so quick on his feet.
What action films do you like?
I like old westerns, but those aren't really action films.
They are westerns.
Yeah, so like an old John Wayne movie, like, you know, Rio Bravo, that kind of thing.
That doesn't count as an action movie.
I like the John Wayne films.
I like the Shootist.
The Shootist is great.
Shootist is not really an action film, but I feel it's sort of like the Heath Ledger scenario with John Wayne films.
He was riddled with cancer, he was dying in real life, and he was dying in the film, and it just kind of captured everything at that moment in time really well.
So I do like that film.
A lot of people remember John Wayne films as better than they were.
Some of them are good, but a lot of them were crap.
I agree.
But some of them are great.
The best ones, I mean, Searchers and stuff like that.
Yeah, Searchers is great.
Yeah, I think it's always among, usually when you look at top Westerns, I think it's usually Searchers or Unforgiven or Interchangeable.
Sure.
And I do prefer Unforgiven, but Searchers is great.
Yeah, same writer.
I'm gonna do one.
Predator.
Yeah.
Die Hard.
Alien.
Die Hard's awesome.
Alien is the sequel.
The second one.
The first one was more of a thriller, horror movie.
The second one was an action movie.
I'll give you that.
You know what bothers me about action films?
People always get mad about this.
I think they really sometimes take men for granted and just assume that men are dumber
than they are.
Now, we all like some action films.
Obviously, all of us here have action films that we like, but for some reason, just like crappy rom-coms where they're like, ah, women will like this no matter what, they just assume that we can make Terminator 19 and guys will just accept it because there are guns that go off.
There was a kid, I was no longer friends with him, because of this conversation.
I won't even use his name, because I don't even want to give him the benefit.
I built this platform, Mr. Gaul.
That's his last name.
I won't give him a first name.
Oh, Steven.
Hold on.
A friend was talking about Triple X, and I was at the theater Cinema Guzzo, which was where I was raised in the south shore of Greenfield Park, the next town over.
And totally, by the way, also connections with the mob.
Like exactly what we would think with Cinema Guzzo.
And they were going to see Triple X, and then I was seeing something, anything other than Triple X. Yeah.
And I remember a kid saying, my other friend Adam saying, well, is this what we're going to see?
Is it any good?
And the kid goes, yeah, there are boobs in it!
I was like, oh my god.
And then the other kid goes, no, no, trust me.
You're going to look at all these cool guns and blah, blah, blah.
I was like, well, no, no, no.
What about the plot?
What about the storyline?
And they just assume that all guys are like this 13-year-old Mr. Gall, who just goes, are there boobs in it?
Are there guns?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And maybe that works for people who don't have access to a lot of really cool guns in real life.
I don't need to watch Vin Diesel with horrible trigger discipline and breasts on screen, in which he could not be less interested, by the way.
It's just like, if action is a part of it, then great.
But I don't like it when they just think, ah, let's just toss action in it and guys will pay for the ticket.
Yeah, I agree.
If you're not mixing the action in with the story itself, it does definitely lose audience.
At that point it's, what do they call it, gun porn or action porn?
It's just literally where you're doing it for the reaction of the action itself.
Explosions.
Which takes away from it.
I like some of the films that I really like, and some of my favorite films, which I know is kind of, people say, well, you don't like action films.
A great film that I think is very, very underrated, and I don't know if I put this on my list of, did we ever do a list of top five most underrated films?
Maybe not.
I think we may have.
We may have on Ask Wednesday.
Let me know if we have.
You can comment and let me know.
Obviously, The Edge is my favorite film.
I think it's criminally underrated.
But there's a film with Kurt Russell called Breakdown.
Did you ever see that film?
Yeah, I did.
Oh my gosh.
It's so good.
White button-down shirt.
Yeah, his wife, their car breaks down, and they stop to make a phone call, and then his wife is gone.
This is 90's Kurt Russell?
Yeah, 90's Kurt Russell thriller.
And that's a genre of film that doesn't exist a whole lot anymore.
You know, that's sort of like basic instinct, fatal attraction.
And Breakdown is very underrated in my opinion.
It's more of a suspense thriller film, but those films kind of, they're not Marvel Universe, and they're not cheap indie crap that goes on Netflix that, you know, maybe at 1030 at night you go, Alright.
It's somewhere in between, and that sort of doesn't exist anymore.
And that's really kind of my favorite genre.
My wife and I, people often talk about how my wife wants to watch a rom-com, and I'm like, no, I actually like romantic comedies.
Some of my favorite films are romantic comedies.
But both my wife and our favorite films typically are that genre of sort of suspense thriller, which usually includes action, but it's not just, hey, like, listen, I have so many guns.
It's not that, like, I have an obscene amount of guns!
So one movie that I think you liked that might be considered an action movie was Hell or High Water, relatively recently.
Oh, Hell or High Water was fantastic.
I loved that one.
I would consider that an action movie that I really enjoyed that was almost, it wasn't big budget like that, but it also wasn't You know what, that's probably why I like it.
It's one of the rare sort of exceptions.
If you haven't seen Hell or High Water, and talk about, and this is one thing I will say about Hell or High Water, Ben Foster, everyone knows what a great actor he is, and honestly the least impressive performance in there was Bridges because he's kind of doing the parody of Jeff Bridges now.
And Chris Pine for a guy who's sort of considered a pretty boy, and come on.
Just those, I get lost in them.
But he's a very good actor, and he's on screen with people who would be typically seen as character actors, and people would sort of say, well, he's the eye candy to sell, he's sort of the leading man.
He never gets upstaged by people, and I don't think he gets enough credit for that.
I think he's a really good actor.
It was excellent.
It does seem like we have a lot of extremes with films now.
Like you said, the Marvel Universe and then the other stuff kind of at the bottom end.
I do miss those really good, fun, easy-to-watch movies that kind of surprise you a little bit.
It doesn't have to be a thriller that surprises me or something like that, but something that's better than I think it will be.
And usually it's the overhyped, over-budgeted movie or something that's really crappy.
Maybe this is a good question.
Is there a movie you guys have seen recently in the theaters that you were like, oh, well that's... I just recently saw Richard Jewell.
It was good.
It was good.
And one thing I'll say, Clint Eastwood always brings the best performances out of his actors, but he's very reliant on sort of his director of photography, because there's some scenes where, like, ooh, that lighting really looks amateurish, or American Sniper, where they have the rubber baby.
You know what I mean?
There are little things like that, because Clint is just, you know, he doesn't even say action.
When you feel like taking it.
Take it.
So he's really focused on performances, which is great.
And he always comes in under time, under budget.
But he needs to be surrounded.
And that's why you can see some inconsistency in sort of the technical acumen, maybe, in some of his films.
He needs to be surrounded with technical geniuses, who also need someone like a Clint Eastwood.
But Richard Jewell, there's some points in that film where Sam Rockwell and I forgot the name of the guy.
We just saw him in an old Key & Peele sketch from I, Tonya, the guy who plays Richard Jewell.
There's a scene at a diner.
Where you just go, oh, all right.
If they were to mail him the Academy Award here, it wouldn't be out of line.
Yeah.
So it's very good.
If you haven't seen it, I do recommend Richard Jewell.
Is there anything you guys have seen recently?
You have to get going, but anything recently you recommend for people to see?
Especially during the Mug Club quarantine right now.
It may have been two years ago.
So it's out now, and obviously on every platform.
Honestly, it was two years ago.
It's out now.
Sorry.
So I think it was A Quiet Place.
I haven't gone back to re-watch it, but in the theaters, that was very different.
I love how he says, like, he's letting people, like, he's giving them the inside lane.
I know.
There's this little note.
You guys heard it.
Everybody knew about that.
It was a limited theatrical release to only 9,400 venues.
Just a little movie.
It's called Avatar.
I don't know if you've seen that.
It was good.
I was very surprised by it in the movie.
It was just great because it brought me in in a way that I haven't felt in a lot of movies.
Have you seen the really crappy version with Stanley Tucci on Netflix?
It's called something like... I don't know what it's called.
Someone please let me know.
I forgot the title of it.
But here's the thing.
It's basically the same thing.
If you talk, the monsters see you, but they're like little bats.
And I was going, oh my gosh, think about ripping something off.
Turned out, that was actually adapted from the original novel.
And A Quiet Place was the one that ripped it off, but it got to theaters more quickly.
Well, good.
But this one, I mean, you think, OK, Stanley Tucci, he's almost never in something bad.
I'm like, you know, you're a folk hero, Nicolas Cage.
And this is so bad.
It might have been called, like, the place that is silent.
It was that place.
What were you going to say?
So one movie, it's older, that I really enjoy the action in, even though some of the other parts of the movie are weak, is Equilibrium with Christian Bale.
It had really, really good action in it.
I like that movie a lot.
It's got cool philosophy.
Yeah, the themes themselves are really interesting.
I don't think they execute on the story as well.
Some of it is a little disjointed, and a little bit's a little campy.
But I thought the action in that was really good.
And some of the stuff was science fiction in a way where you're like, ooh, I could see that happening, or some of those interesting things.
Kind of a...
I have that too!
And you know what's funny?
I've talked about how terrible I am with names, but I have, just the way my brain works, I never forget a face, I never forget a voice.
When I think of Equilibrium, I think of, and maybe someone can bring this up or look, I think of that film, was it Daybreakers, Daywalkers, with Ethan Hawke?
The cover looks the same, just like Sphere and Event Horizon, or like Broken Arrow and Face Off, John Travolta, that's another, we could do a whole meat segment on that shit.
Yeah.
That's a phenomenon.
It's a phenomenon that no one else has caught.
So that's what I think of equilibrium.
But what was equilibrium?
I don't know anything about it.
So it's in the future, people take these, there's like a dictatorship that overtook the government.
It's kind of like Big Brother.
I'm just joking.
It's really good.
It's good.
It's got Taye Diggs.
He looks like such a sad panda.
Taye Diggs?
Taye Diggs is in it.
Taye Diggs is in it.
He's 100% terrible.
He's a future dictator, so kind of a... Yeah, so you take medicine to make you happy, and then some people are like, wait a minute, I don't want to take the medicine anymore, and one of the guys who's one of the elite guards takes a different path.
Oh, is this the one where you put in your eye the medicine?
Yes.
You squeeze it like eye drops?
Yes.
No, it's like a...
Is there a scene where someone comes home and it's basically, long before Alexa, but a whole Alexa apartment reminding you to take your medication?
Maybe I'm thinking of something else.
That actually does happen, but I don't think it's an eyedropper, and I think I know what you're talking about and it's a different movie.
Oh, I think I'm thinking of Black Carbon, that show.
Altered Carbon.
See, I'm horrible with names, but how do I remember that?
I have no idea.
If you go and watch it, you'll be like, oh, that's the exact scene.
Yeah.
And just because I watched it and I thought, oh, there was something wrong.
Are you talking about Upgrade?
Oh, Upgrade is awesome.
Upgrade is pretty cool.
I watched Upgrade.
With the eyedrops?
No, this is a guy who's in a computer.
There was an election kind of thing that tells him to take his medication and he stops taking it.
But yeah, his whole body is, he's a paraplegic.
I recommend Upgrade.
Excellent.
And he gets a chip and makes his body like superhuman and it takes over his mind and stuff.
It's actually really good.
Is that the one with the guy who played the brother in the OC who kind of looks like Tom Hardy but isn't Tom Hardy?
Yes, he's like low-rent Tom Hardy.
Low-rent Tom Hardy.
I did not like that film.
Okay.
I liked that film.
Nor Lord of War.
Dang it.
Warlord.
I'm a lord.
I hope you need to purchase some guns.
Thank you so much.
This has been Ash Wednesday.
And of course, tomorrow we are going to be live.
I don't remember who the guest is, but of course, we still have our marquee guests on Thursday.
And good morning, Mug Club.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday morning through the whole month of April.
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