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March 7, 2019 - Louder with Crowder

03:14:45

UNBANNED: Full Oscars Live Stream Released! | Louder With Crowder

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	You're new around here, so I'll go easy on ya.
	Come on!
	Come on, dance with us!
	Come on!
	Come on, dance with us!
	Come on!
	Come on, dance with us!
	Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up.
	Putty ran away.
	Things will get better.
	Orphanage ain't but, game brother.
	Orphanage ain't but, putty ran away.
	Father will see how to make a dead mill work.
	Gotta like mill here.
	Drink to the, guess they deserved it.
	Putty ran away.
	Things will get better.
	Orphanage ain't but, game brother.
	Orphanage ain't but, putty ran away.
	Father will see how to make a dead mill work.
	Gotta like mill here.
	Drink to the, guess they deserved it.
	Do what you think is wonderful.
	Every stone will cover up the background.
	Do what you think is wonderful.
	Every stone will cover up the background.
	Do what you think is wonderful.
	Grow up, grow up, grow up.
	Game brother.
	Orphanage ain't but, game brother.
	Things will get better.
	Can the carolers reach the moon?
	Can the zombies stay like this?
	For a while Can the night get to me like this?
	No matter where I Can the zombies stay like this?
	Things will get better Can the carolers reach the moon?
	Can the zombies stay like this?
	For a while Can the night get to me like this?
	No matter where I Do I close my eyes?
	I see It's wonderful
	I do You know
	I see It's wonderful
	Every star Will cover the past and
	It's wonderful I see
	You know I do
	It's wonderful It's wonderful
	Thanks for watching!
	Like and subscribe!
	Thanks for watching!
	It's my dream.
	I'm not.
	the the
	and the
	["Entropy." music starts playing once more.]
	["Entropy." music continues.]
	In my blood, in my gut, in my blood In my gut, in my gut, in my gut, in my gut
	in my gut, in my gut In my gut, in my gut
	in my gut, in my Save What's going on in my gut?
	In my gut, in my gut What's going on in my gut?
	What's going on in my gut?
	In my gut, in my gut What's going on in my gut?
	I want you to get Gotta get down
	I want you to get down Gotta get, get, get
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	Just a hot dog Throw that shit out there
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	Throw that shit out there I want you to get
	Gotta get down Gotta get, get, get
	I want you to get Gotta get down
	Gotta get, get, get Just a hot dog
	Just a hot dog I want you to get
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	I want you to get Just a hot dog
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	Just a hot dog Throw that shit out there
	Just a hot dog Throw that shit out there
	Just a hot dog Just a hot dog
	Throw that shit out there Unicorns I love them
	Unicorns I love them Unicorns I love them
	Y'all look at them Uni-unicorns
	Uni-unicorns And I'm in the middle
	I'm in the middle Goodbye, boo
	Unicorns I love them Unicorns I love them
	Uni-unicorns Uni-unicorns
	Uni-unicorns Uni-unicorns
	9500 700
	이 영상은 장영훈의 채널의 유료광고를 포함하고 있습니다.
	700 600
	700 700
	700 이번 영상은 장영훈의 채널로 이제 공개될 예정입니다.
	Oh, that's the sound of You guys know what that sound is?
	That's the sound of I just had the best view on the house.
	Did you?
	Yes.
	Did you?
	Are we good?
	Are we live?
	We got the sound good?
	That's the Lotto with Carter Oscars live stream party.
	Nice!
	Let's go through who you guys are wearing.
	First off, Brodigan.
	I'm wearing the Versace Spider-Man collection.
	Versace Spider-Man collection.
	That's not a thing.
	Yeah, you messed that one up, Quarterblack.
	I appreciate it, but that's clearly a mistake.
	We got Incredibles, Lady Gaga, Spaceman back here, and you decided to go quite literal.
	Yeah, I wanted to be the trophy, but these things don't hide anything, by the way.
	I'm feeling very vulnerable.
	In Gerald's defense, there isn't much to hide.
	This is true.
	This is true.
	It's actually not true at all.
	It's incredibly cruel to say.
	This is not off to a good start.
	No, it's off to a very bad start.
	Let's agree with Truce here.
	By the way, Freddie, in case you couldn't realize this... AIDS.
	So everyone out there, by the way, we want to hear you guys interact with this show.
	Do we have the feed of the Oscars stream?
	I'm not hearing anything.
	I'm not hearing Engineer Abby bringing up the feed of the Oscars.
	So we're going to be watching this all night so that you don't necessarily have to.
	We have a promo code right now.
	Crowder Oscars, I believe.
	Crowder Oscars.
	You entered in, I think, was it $30 off for 24 hours right now.
	$20 off.
	Even if you're not student or veteran.
	Boom.
	And even if you have the AIDS.
	Oh, especially if you have the AIDS.
	Of course, we also have, by the way, the hashtag.
	Use the hashtag, Crowder Anti-Oscars Party, like last year.
	We won a Hopefully Surpassed last year, though I don't expect too many people to tune in because no one cares this year about the Oscars.
	That's true.
	The Oscars barely care about the Oscars.
	Oh, that's right.
	So we're going to have winners.
	By the way, winner of the costume contest gets a golden mug.
	Oh, nice.
	I don't know if people can see this.
	Golden mug.
	That's fantastic.
	And I hear someone coming in.
	I think a producer is walking into the door here.
	That happens.
	Golden mug.
	And what else do we have?
	We have guests.
	Okay, guests.
	Do we have the guests ready?
	We got guests.
	We have Clint Howard, Jim Newton, Anne McElhinney, Gavin McInnes, Anthony Comia, Nick Searcy.
	Boom!
	Nick Sersi was in two Oscar films last year, and we also have a drinking game.
	Can we bring this up, the drinking game?
	You have to take a drink anytime.
	Trump, fear, hate, brave, feminism, human rights, diversity, LGBT or QAAP, racism, equality, the words borders, wall, or the theme of borders, wall, theme of dreamers, nationalism, immigration, or if they ever utter the phrase, by the way, let's all take a sip.
	We're not drinking hard liquor tonight because we have a job to do.
	But let's bring that back up there, Quarter Black.
	If they utter the phrase, the actual phrase, no human is illegal, you have to finish your drink.
	Really?
	You have to finish your drink?
	The whole phrase?
	So here you go.
	Question, important question.
	I just spilled over the shot glasses.
	That's okay.
	Apparently we're not using them anyway.
	Are these the only times we're allowed to drink?
	Those are not the only times you're allowed to drink, but it should be enough.
	But I can't hear the Oscars feed here, so if someone could bring this up for me.
	This mug is perfect, by the way.
	Commercial break on the Oscars right now.
	Oh, we're still on commercial break?
	Alright, what have you seen, by the way, in the Oscars?
	Let me first show you this, what I got here.
	I'm just gonna roll this across the floor.
	That'll work.
	So I'm unfortunately in the Actors Union.
	That's right.
	You guys know that I'm in the actor's union, so I get the screeners.
	The only one I didn't get was the Green Book.
	You still get the screeners?
	You can bring that down there, Abbey.
	Sorry when it's a commercial, I'll sound engineer Abbey.
	So I do have Black Klansman.
	I don't know if you guys can see that.
	Black Klansman.
	The favorite.
	Boom!
	Not my favorite.
	Right here I have Can You Ever Forgive Me?
	I also saw that.
	Very good performances in that.
	And I've seen every... What do we have?
	Black Panther tonight?
	Yes.
	Okay, so... The Star is Born, Bohemian Rhapsody.
	Yes.
	I really like The Star is Born.
	I really like Bohemian Rhapsody.
	Who do you think is the favorite to win tonight, by the way?
	Let's go around the room first, really quickly.
	I'm hoping a quiet place.
	I'm hoping, because I really loved it.
	It's not nominated.
	That was last year.
	That was last year, but still.
	That was not that last year.
	It was this year.
	It was this year?
	It's not nominated for anything except for sound design.
	I thought it was nominated.
	No, it is this year, but it's not nominated.
	No, sound design, yeah.
	Not for Best Picture.
	I'm sorry, were you asking Best Picture?
	The question is Best Picture.
	This is a horrible start.
	This is a terrible start.
	Did you start programming before we did this show?
	He did.
	I had half a beer.
	Alright, what do you think they brought in?
	I'm going to go with The Star Is Born, only with the guy who played Freddie Mercury for Best Actor.
	Okay, and what do you think their quarterback?
	I'm going to say...
	Black Panther.
	You take way too much time on the mic.
	He's like, I'm gonna say... Is that to keep your corner?
	People aren't hinging on it that much.
	No.
	You don't need to set it up quite like that.
	I appreciate it, though.
	The guy's gonna be sweating his balls off here.
	He is sweating.
	Tonight, I saw people complaining, by the way, about the Oscars.
	About how there aren't enough black people, women, represented in the Oscars.
	And here's the thing.
	Yeah, it's overwhelmingly male, white in the Academy.
	Yeah.
	But they disproportionately, not that it's a bad thing, award people of color, women, LGBTQAIP, insert minority of the day.
	So aren't you grateful that this isn't the BET Awards, where there's a snowball's chance of hell of a white guy getting anything, or a white woman, or likely gay, by the way.
	Look, if you can have the BET Awards, we can have the Oscars.
	Let's just call a truce, and you can put everything in there, and we'll keep everything in the Oscars.
	As far as the gay person at the BET Awards, I don't think Jussie Smollett's up for anything.
	I don't think he's up for anything.
	Speaking of BET, we actually have a correspondent from Oh, that's right.
	That's right.
	Sorry, guys.
	I forgot tonight.
	We actually do have live.
	We have them right now.
	Our live, our Black Panther correspondent live from Wakanda.
	Are you there, sir?
	Welcome back, Steven.
	Yeah.
	What's going on in Wakanda?
	What's going on?
	Yeah, there's not actually that much going on.
	Okay, alright.
	We'll check back with him later.
	Was that South Wakanda?
	I have no idea.
	Could have been South.
	Is Wakanda an apartheid state?
	All I know is that someone was shaking a plasma spear on a Tesla.
	So here's the thing.
	I've watched all these ones.
	The favorite was very good, by the way.
	The favorite was very good.
	Incredibly profane.
	They tried to insert a lesbian.
	Oh, is it starting?
	Oh!
	It's starting right now?
	And with Queen!
	With Queen!
	Alright, let's bring this up really quick.
	This is actually a good start.
	Really like Bohemian Rhapsody.
	I'll get into the movies afterwards in a second.
	Is that Tom Cruise as Les Grossman?
	Or was that Sam Rockwell?
	Nice.
	You really have to be impressed that Brian May managed to find a gay or at least sing in the Freddie Mercury theme song.
	Yes, yes you do!
	That took some effort.
	I'm not convinced that he doesn't have AIDS.
	Oh my gosh.
	Here's the thing, Queen, if you look at them themselves, they weren't really a band about making huge political statements.
	A lot of people mistake live aid as being... Oh, we got Hopper Crowder here today.
	Hopper, come here, sit.
	Who are you wearing?
	Thank you for the well wishes.
	He's doing quite well, by the way, with the current treatment.
	The funny thing about Queen was even in the 80s when all the other artists were like...
	Boycotting South Africa?
	Yeah.
	They played anyway, because even Freddie, who you'd think would be the most political, is like, no, I'm just here to entertain people.
	Right.
	Also, there are white people in South Africa.
	Yeah.
	They were his entourage.
	It's okay.
	So this is actually probably the least political moment of this evening.
	Yeah, this is what you're going to get.
	That's it.
	Yes.
	I liked a lot of the films if it weren't for the insinuations.
	I watched Black Klansman.
	Yeah.
	It's probably Spike Lee's best film.
	Do you think he's going to get it?
	I think he probably is, because he's a black guy.
	Well, and he got snubbed, apparently, what, 30-something years ago, so... I think people think that.
	Well, hold on a second.
	So, the favorite was The Black Klansman, though they actually tried to tie Donald Trump to David Duke.
	And while I was watching it, I went on Twitter and I could see David Duke calling Trump, you know, a Jew-lover, controlled by the Jews and the big banks.
	And they ended it with Charlottesville.
	Here's the question.
	It was a period piece.
	What?
	There wasn't a Donald Trump in the 60s.
	I mean, technically, there was a Donald Trump in the 60s.
	They were all Democrats, though.
	Yeah, the Democrats were essentially Donald Trump then.
	Hold on a second.
	Let's listen to this.
	I want to see Adam Lambert compared to Freddie Mercury.
	Who worked better?
	Definitely Freddie Mercury.
	It was rhetorical.
	Yeah, come on.
	He's pretty good.
	Not bad.
	No, he's good.
	Yeah.
	Listen, you don't have to not say that he's good just because he's incredibly effeminate.
	You know who actually does a really good Queen cover?
	Zac Brown Band covers Bohemian Rhapsody.
	They actually sing the opera parts.
	Queen never sung the opera parts a lot.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I had no idea.
	Hey, by the way, producer Tim, let Hopper back out.
	He wants to leave.
	He made an appearance.
	He's done.
	No more time on camera.
	Let me say this because if you're watching for the musical performances, then obviously you want to go to the actual stream.
	Here's the deal, there are no hosts tonight.
	This has been a complete and total disaster.
	Let's bring this down a little bit there, Abby.
	I would love these films if not for the insinuations.
	And you look at this here, you have Black Klansman.
	What are the other ones?
	Black Panther.
	Black Panther's a Marvel film.
	Right.
	Just like Wonder Woman, just like Captain America.
	It's not for me, but they've never been the films for the Academy.
	And all of a sudden, Black Panther is supposed to be the film for the Academy.
	Black Klansman is okay.
	There are no standout performances.
	The favorite, I think, is nominated.
	Honestly, it's not the kind of film that would usually nominate, aside from the lesbian thing.
	And by the way, for people who are watching, since we're dealing with the Academy tonight, this is not for children.
	The lesbian scene, and we want to be told that we're homophobic in the favorite, if you don't want to watch Emma Stone go down on the queen who has sores, oozing sores all over her leg.
	It's like, listen, you're not even trying to be erotic anymore like you were with Black Swan or anything.
	You're just trying to be as disgusting as possible.
	Like, what do you think?
	What do you think?
	Do you not like this?
	Do you not like this?
	Is that because you're a Mormon and you're against?
	Was it Prop 8?
	Was it Prop 8?
	Was it gay marriage?
	The point is the statements that they're making this year.
	I think you can expect a lot of that tonight.
	That's what we saw last year.
	Outside of that, they got it right with a lot of these films.
	Bohemian Rhapsody, great.
	A Star is Born, fantastic.
	The Favorite, good film, but it's pretty clear what they're trying to push as far as an agenda, and I think we're going to see that tonight.
	So that's where there's this disconnect.
	By the way, Roma was the only one I couldn't make it through.
	I've seen all of them except for Green Book.
	Roma, I fell asleep.
	And when I'm watching Roma, and we're supposed to believe that this is about the plight of the sort of Mexican worker, not Mexican-American, just Mexican worker.
	I'm going, hold on a second.
	She's a maid for a doctor and an astrophysicist.
	Only 2% of Mexicans at that point in time went to college.
	So she's working for the top 1-2%.
	Thank God the United States has a middle class.
	Sometimes when I watch these films, I don't think that we're absorbing what they think we want to absorb.
	So that's what I think we can expect tonight, a really strong disconnect.
	And I'm hoping that, you know, they said that Oscar viewing last year was down 20% from the prior year.
	And they said, oh, it's got to be because of the time.
	And I'm like, I don't think it's because of the time.
	I think the message that you guys are putting out is not resonating with people, and they don't want to see you.
	We got a commercial break.
	We can bring it down there, Engineer Abby.
	You look like you've been trying to say something completely unrelated for a long time.
	I was just going to say, after hearing what the favorite was about, I suddenly regret telling my sister that all my nieces watch this tonight.
	Really?
	I regret it just upon hearing it.
	I have no idea why you would assume that that was a good idea.
	Sorry, Mom.
	Look, I get if you're trying to tone down this, like, hot lesbian kind of myth thing, and you're gonna try to do more reality, but why are the oozing sores?
	Like, that's taking it a little too far.
	Well, I mean, it's kind of like... Realism.
	Realism?
	No, that's not realism.
	Realism is, she goes, she opens, and she's like, haha, I'll come back later.
	They're oozing.
	But, no, honestly, this is... That's just not the way you do it.
	Are you sure you don't think I'm a gorgeous little crumpet?
	Feel that?
	Feel that?
	Feel it!
	Please, I want to feel your fingers slither up my oozing sores.
	I want my scabs to be reopened with the sounds of love.
	Please, tear them open.
	I want my gash to be right next to a gash.
	Oh, dear God.
	I mean, this is what Hollywood thinks is edgy, because I heard that the reason that Borat was originally fired from the Bohemian Rhapsody movie was because he wanted the movie to be about Freddie Mercury's sex life.
	Yeah, no, they could have easily gone way over the top.
	His music.
	About his music.
	Well, I think they picked the right track with that.
	They picked something.
	They didn't try to make it about... Oh, is this the montage?
	Let me hear this really quick there, Engineer Abby.
	Let me see what they got.
	Mary.
	But they're showing stuff that's not... We all actually stuck to Oscars themes.
	They didn't.
	They didn't.
	They just showed Ozark.
	That's true.
	They're trying to pack it.
	They're trying to pack the content.
	Please welcome a not-host.
	There is no way this is... Okay, let's hear what the digs are right here.
	Guys, keep your drinks ready and we're gonna... Send in your costumes, by the way.
	We're gonna be going to your Twitter handles on the best costumes that are sent in.
	Good evening and welcome to the 1,000,000th Academy Awards!
	We are not your hosts, but we're going to stand here a little too long so that the people who get USA Today tomorrow will think that we hosted.
	Kind of like 30 Rock.
	Overstay your welcome.
	Why is Captain America there?
	Was he in anything?
	If you're confused, there is no host tonight, there won't be a popular movie category, and Mexico is not paying for the wall.
	Mexico involved!
	We have a ding there for the drink.
	Everyone drink.
	Bring it in.
	He just said, yeah, they will.
	That's right.
	And we won't be doing awards during the commercials, but we will be presenting commercials during the awards.
	Funny.
	So if all the winners could please say, Hellman's Mayonnaise, we're on the side of food, instead of your speeches, that would be great.
	Again, we are not your hosts this year, but if we had hosted, it probably would have gone like this.
	I'm Freddie Mercury.
	Well, I'm the wife!
	Buster Scruggs, I hardly know her.
	Hey, Jack.
	That was a good one.
	This is what bothered me about Maya Rudolph.
	A lot of these people like an adult.
	Stop the flow?
	No, no.
	It all becomes about how their jokes aren't funny.
	I was like, oh, that was a good one.
	It's an inside joke.
	How about you just stay in character and do the joke?
	By the way, Maya Rudolph has no business being on that stage.
	She hasn't even been funny accidentally.
	Sorry, did I miss something funny?
	She's like the Dan Aykroyd of shit comedians.
	She hangs out with funny people all the time.
	I'll make that stop.
	Is that going to be the humor all night?
	We can do that.
	They gave him Black Klansman because he's a black man even though Spike Lee sucks.
	I'm pretty sure Spike Lee is a real queer now cause I think he acts like a fag.
	They gave him Black Klansman even though Spike Lee sucks.
	We support each other. For example, we just had the writing of the Oscars. Without Trevor Noah's 27 writers. For
	example, I support both of you financially. And I hold your boobs while you jog. And Tina, I dub all your dialogue
	internationally.
	Do you think they specifically said... Don't get funny.
	We need a host here.
	All right, what about... No men!
	Not a single man!
	But what about, like, one man if you're doing three?
	No men!
	Not one!
	Gotta be diverse.
	What if he's black?
	No!
	By the way, she was good in this.
	Vice was pure propaganda.
	You know what's funny about Vice?
	For people who didn't watch Vice, they actually try to say that it changed from global warming to climate change because Frank Luntz in a focus group wanted to trick people.
	I swear to you.
	And they show Frank Luntz like, who's not afraid of climate change?
	Raise your hand.
	There we go.
	We'll go with climate change.
	But hold on a second.
	Let's assume that were true.
	You're the ones who use climate change right now as cover because it's gotten significantly colder.
	Yeah.
	So it was absolute pure propaganda.
	They don't even allow, by the way.
	They don't even allow for the possibility that Dick Cheney might have had motives that could have been pure, that could have been altruistic.
	It assumes that he took off, as that movie was a pile of crap, by the way.
	By the way, the woman who's being nominated for Best Actress, she looks at the camera like five times.
	She what?
	She walks in, she's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
	No, no!
	No loco!
	No loco!
	Is that her fault, or the director's fault?
	Who's this?
	Regina King.
	If Beale Street could talk.
	Oh, okay.
	Or speak.
	Isn't she from Marvel?
	You know what?
	I really am upset at the lack of diversity at these awards for that blasted academy that's all male white.
	You'd like me to go down where?
	Where?
	You know, funny thing is, if she was doing that in Easy A, it would have been entertaining.
	Yeah, that's the clip they show?
	Yes.
	Compare that with Renee Zellweger and Jerry Maguire.
	Or, I mean, Rod Tidwell.
	Or anything else.
	Or compare it with, you know what, I will say this, Monique.
	When you watch the clip, you're like, just give her the damn award.
	Or Nick Nolte and Warrior.
	They're showing clips from films.
	This is a clip?
	Hold on.
	Look at this.
	Maybe we will think of a use for it one day.
	Sometimes it is hard to remember whether you have loaded the pellet or not.
	I do fear confusion and accidents.
	Oh look, what kind of emotion is that supposed to evoke?
	They are picking the best clip from these films.
	I think I rather forgot to load the pellets.
	Give her the award!
	Regina King!
	Well, come on, let's be honest here.
	Is anyone surprised?
	You look at that lineup, and it looks like the cast of Powder.
	With the exception of this one woman in the show that nobody watched.
	There was Hispanic from Roma, right?
	But it was in three white ladies.
	Hold on a second, let's see what this award speech is.
	We have our own awards we have to give away.
	Do we?
	I want to hear this, let's bring this up so we can hear it.
	We're going to have to drink a lot during this, I think.
	I gotta find that list of words and cross them out.
	I'm trying to burp off mic.
	I don't have headphones, so hopefully it's not as severe as it seems.
	I look better than that award, by the way.
	Just saying.
	Yeah.
	You'd rather her be fondling you.
	No.
	Let's be honest, that's a nice dress.
	She looks very fetching.
	I like her.
	Hold on, I want to listen to this.
	Representing one of the greatest artists of our time, James Baldwin.
	It's a little surreal.
	James Baldwin birthed this baby.
	I'm not entirely sure that I agree.
	You buried, you nurtured her.
	You surrounded her with so much love and support.
	So it's appropriate for me to be standing here.
	I'm an example of what it looks like when support and love is part of someone's mom.
	Let me look at the schedule here.
	Our first guest we have is going to be Clint Howard.
	Let's...
	We'll have Clint Howard.
	Before Clint Howard, we'll have the trivia.
	Well, let's give our award.
	And then we'll do our trivia question, and we'll answer it after Clint Howard.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm crying.
	Brian.
	It's okay, everyone's gotta be moving a little bit because the whole thing started late.
	There's nothing interesting going on at 6.30.
	God is always leaning, always has been leaning in my direction.
	Gamoses.
	They'll ask me about that later.
	Gamoses?
	I think she meant to say mimosas.
	So many people to thank.
	Chelsea Barnum, who brought this project to Anna Purna, Megan Ellenson, Anna Purna, Plan B, this amazing cast.
	Plan B is a production company.
	My sister's in art.
	She didn't just plug birth control.
	That's what I thought.
	In the middle of agents and representatives randomly.
	Emma, Rachel, it's been an honor to have my name be just said with yours.
	They all have to act like they're not crying right now because they lost.
	It's been pretty amazing.
	The Rivers family.
	Kiki, Coleman, Tiana, Stefan.
	Saying that I hope she gets me to the after party.
	God is good.
	All the time.
	This is what they are saying.
	I'm not saying that.
	She said something good at the end.
	God is good all the time.
	That takes guts.
	God is good all the time.
	There you go.
	I wish I could say the same for Maya Rudolph.
	Uh, yes.
	Jason Momoa.
	Jason Girl Scout Cookie.
	Did they always lead with Best Actress?
	It's almost like no one here is on the same page right now.
	You're just going with completely different topics.
	Let's stick to what's happening right now.
	They just did Best Actress!
	How is that not fitting?
	Supporting Actress.
	No, it was Best Actress in a leading role, wasn't it?
	No, it was Supporting Actress.
	Hold on, let's see what he has to say here really quickly.
	Honestly, I swear to God that Jason and I didn't coordinate our outfits tonight.
	This is purely accidental.
	But, you know, it just goes to show, doesn't it, that these days a Hawaiian god and a very mature English woman can actually wear the same colours.
	These days, a man who in no parallel universe could possibly be nominated for an award shares a stage with me because we really squandered a host.
	Documentary Filmmakers.
	Oh, Documentary Filmmakers.
	All right.
	Listen, let's give out... We actually have our own Lotta with Crowder Award, don't we?
	Yes!
	We have right now, if I'm not mistaken, our first award of the evening is actually going to be... Do we have a drum roll ready here?
	We have right now the Lotta with Crowder Award for Best Actor... We have it?
	We have it going?
	I think we have it.
	For Best Actor in a Leading Role... Hold on, let me have the envelope here really quickly.
	Best Actor in a Leading Role is...
	Jesse Smollett, everybody.
	Jesse Smollett, Louder With Crowder.
	That's awesome.
	Is that not going in through?
	Alright, let's go with that.
	I'm seeing myself there.
	Yeah.
	Jesse Smollett.
	Is it going through?
	Are we sending it through Jesse Smollett?
	This is Jesse Smollett's first nomination for a Louder With Crowder award.
	And win.
	Jesse Smollett.
	Come out here and get your Louder With Crowder award.
	I will never be the man that this did not happen to.
	I am forever changed.
	And actually, Justin Smollett couldn't be here this evening, so we have Maximus the PA.
	People can follow you on Twitter.
	Who are you wearing tonight?
	I'm wearing Mary Poppins, even.
	Thanks a lot for that.
	Best actor.
	So, what's happening here?
	So, I'm accepting this because Justice Mullet obviously could not be here.
	He would like to say that even though his mind, body, and spirit is strong, unfortunately, his employment is not.
	I see what you did there.
	Please leave.
	You're making us all incredibly uncomfortable.
	I'm having a hard time hearing him.
	He said he couldn't be here.
	His employment is not strong, but his spirit is.
	Oh, is that what he said?
	Could we not hear him?
	We're having a little difficulty just making sure Mary Poppins was heard.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, thank you.
	I don't have the headphones on right now.
	Do we have our first guest?
	Let's see.
	Can someone give me a hand signal?
	Do we have our first guest?
	We're calling right now.
	We're going to ring up Clint Howard very soon.
	I do think this is important to note here tonight.
	We're calling him.
	Oh, these are really weird.
	If you look at the way they're cutting these things, it doesn't seem like the sound is on.
	We have sound problems, but we don't have the budget of the Academy.
	Hey!
	All right, I guess our first guest of the evening, everybody.
	He has more film credits to his name than anyone that I know.
	Yes.
	Clint Howard.
	Clint Howard, how are you, sir?
	Well, I'm getting dressed.
	Oh my God.
	Crazy.
	Hold on a second.
	We've got to bring Clint Howard in.
	We lost him.
	Did we lose him?
	Clint Howard, turn on your camera, please.
	I see you.
	I know, but we don't see you.
	Oh God.
	You know what, that was a good thing because I'll tell you what, it tilted down and it may not have been like an appropriate angle.
	We have Clint Howard and he has a face, yeah.
	He played Susan Wojcicki.
	Yeah.
	It's kind of messed up cause I'd rather bang Susan Wojcicki, yeah.
	How you doing there, Clint?
	Well, hold on.
	What is this?
	This is... Clint, you're live right now out to tens of thousands of people, brother.
	I'll tell you what, if I'm live right now, you're a fool.
	Well, that's perfect for this program right now.
	They're just giving away short documentaries.
	So, Clint Howard, you're dressed up.
	Are you going to an Oscars party tonight?
	No, well, I'm with you, Steven.
	Hang on, let me get my earbuds on.
	Alright, okay, good.
	Clint Howard is going to be getting his earbuds on.
	We can hear you completely fine, Clint.
	Oh, then you know what?
	The earbuds can get somewhere where the sun doesn't shine.
	My father's tuxedo.
	My deceased father's tuxedo that he wore when his son won two Academy Awards.
	Wow.
	That's beautiful.
	I don't know, it wasn't a damper for me.
	me I was at home and I had tears in my eyes because I bet pretty heavily on Ron.
	Okay, Clint, what's your favorite picture of the year this year?
	If you had to pick yours.
	Solo.
	I think you're trying to slip in some royalty checks.
	Do you actually not watch films, Clint?
	Because I know you talk about how you don't see a ton, but you've been in the industry for so long.
	Have you really not watched any this year?
	I've seen two films.
	I saw Appleseed, which was a little independent movie that my dad and I, I worked for my dad on.
	He was the star.
	It was right before he fell ill.
	Good little art house movie.
	And I saw Solo.
	I actually saw Solo twice.
	I saw Solo at the premiere.
	And I missed my scene because there was a big guy with a very nice suit that was kind of slow moving that stood up and walked in front of me.
	Yeah, that was Harvey Weinstein.
	I was there with my manager and it was kind of embarrassing because I was like looking, you know, and I was off screen by the time, you know, the guy got out of the aisle.
	I also saw The Next Morning with Charlie Sheen.
	Okay, so you saw three films and your favorite was of course your own.
	So when you saw the film the second time, did you get to see your scene there, Clint?
	Oh yeah, I saw, yes, in 3D.
	Because Charlie sort of, he fumbled and he bought tickets to a 3D showing.
	Okay.
	And he didn't really realize it.
	So your face in 3D, does that just kind of pop it?
	You see yourself in 3D, Clint Howard pop out at you?
	Dude, it's weird.
	It's weird for all of us.
	You see, the film was not shot in 3D.
	There's a process to make it be 3D.
	And really what it is, is everything down the barrel in the middle of the frame just gets kind of pushed out.
	And there's one shot in the picture where I'm in the middle of the frame and my face gets pushed out and it's weird.
	I can imagine that it's weird.
	I would imagine it's like, what was that film where the guy sees him, is it Time Cop?
	Showgirls.
	Showgirls.
	I would love to see actually a Clint Howard rendition of Time Cop.
	Yeah.
	I think we should lobby for that.
	By the way, it's hashtag Crowder anti-Oscars party.
	We're going to have the costume contest winners up here next.
	So you haven't seen Black Klansman.
	You haven't seen, what was it, A Star is Born.
	What about Roma on Netflix?
	That's on Netflix.
	Did you see Roma, Clint?
	No.
	Wow.
	Alright.
	That's good.
	What do you expect this evening?
	No host to the Oscars.
	Do you expect this to be the worst Oscars ceremony you think ever?
	Do you expect a lot of politicizing as one of the few right-leaning people?
	Oh, no!
	Getting political?
	Oh, no.
	My brethren would never do that.
	Does it bother you when they do that, or is it just sort of par for the course, Clint?
	Okay, in all honesty, a couple of years ago, I did watch a couple of minutes of the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
	Sure.
	And, you know, I know that, listen, they get liquored up and it's a party and a dinner kind of thing.
	Right.
	And they were encouraging harumphing, harumphing, harumphing.
	Well, a couple of people tore in to the president.
	Okay.
	And there was one guy in particular that just, it was beyond the pale.
	And I have been to the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
	I won a Screen Actors Guild Award.
	I was part of the Apollo 13 ensemble.
	It was just when the awards were starting.
	So anyway, if I would have been there, I would have stood up and I would have I'm not a violent man, but you know what?
	have picked up speed and I would have headbutted it. Really?
	That is that count as a violent man. I'm not a violent man.
	But you know what, there's a time and a place for discourse.
	And doing it, obviously on a on a rigged platform where you got
	a whole home team thing. And it's just you. Are you at all
	concerned that you confuse humping with her own thing?
	At the SAG Awards, a lot of liquor is flowing.
	Listen, I've been spending the last three or four days humping furniture.
	Right.
	Because I had to move all my furniture out of my house.
	Now, harumph is a whole other thing.
	I mean, I only know that from Mel Brooks.
	Oh, alright.
	I thought you were humping the furniture as a method acting because you had an upcoming role where, you know, it required you to be trans species.
	You know, I've never had sex.
	I take that back.
	I've raped a woman on screen.
	I've never actually had sex with a woman on screen.
	Key words there, on screen, by the way.
	Key words there, on screen.
	Someone could cut that and just, Clint Howard, I raped a... Oh no, I'm a virgin!
	Yes.
	I'm a virgin.
	Well, rape notwithstanding, according to your previous statement.
	Let's continue, this is going really well.
	Okay, Clint Howard, you have to bet here.
	You have to bet who you think is going to win Best Picture and then we have to let you go.
	Just place a bet here and the winner gets a, I don't know, you'll get this Freddie Mercury ticket.
	What, there's 10 nominees?
	I think there's 5.
	No, there's 8.
	There's 8.
	That's right, there's 8.
	You know, I know Spike Lee will win.
	Right.
	I can imagine.
	Because melanin?
	Black Klansmen may win.
	Okay, alright.
	I don't know.
	I haven't seen whatever politically... Clint Howard, are you not wearing pants?
	No, I've got pants on.
	You just didn't tuck in your shirt.
	No, I don't want to see.
	Okay, okay, alright.
	You know what?
	You have an incredible skill at making... I don't trust me.
	I don't trust you at all because you called us nude from your hot tub one time and that required a lot of editing and post and this is live right now, Clint.
	Oh, yeah.
	How many layers of clothing do you wear when you get your hot tub?
	I don't typically call national programs when in a hot tub, but I understand why you would.
	Clint Howard, we do have to go.
	I appreciate it.
	Love you, brother.
	Black Klansman.
	We're running a little late, but maybe we'll check back in with you.
	That was Clint Howard, of course.
	Right now, what award are they giving?
	Let's bring the audio back up here so everyone can see.
	It looks like they're just showing a clip of Vice, but people on Twitter... Was that just the guitar player from Audioslave?
	Yes, it was.
	That was the guitarist from Audioslave?
	He was in Vice?
	There's no way what he said wasn't political, so I'm just gonna drink.
	Yeah, I can imagine.
	Who's he?
	Stephon James, I'm not sure.
	Who's she?
	Who's he?
	Who's she?
	Who is that man?
	What?
	That's Applejack, man!
	Come on!
	Name that movie line on Twitter, you get a free t-shirt.
	Do I count?
	No.
	What's wrong with her?
	Is she playing the new Chucky doll in the Redux of Child's Play?
	Can anyone confirm that for me on Twitter?
	This is one of those categories that is almost always won by the period films.
	I do think this should go to Vice, because Christian Bale did an unbelievable job, but a lot of people don't realize that without that makeup job, he wouldn't have the same kind of role.
	Greg Canham, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia Dehaney for Vice.
	There you go, for Vice.
	Good job.
	Alright, hold on.
	Let's start listening to the speech, and then we actually have tonight's 7 plus 1.
	Let's go to the speech first.
	We'll watch this, and our 7, it's actually top 7 cancelled Jesse Smollett projects.
	He was anticipating an Oscar this year.
	It could have been about 4.
	So send and tweet at S. Crowder, hashtag Crowder anti-Oscars party, which Jesse Smollett vehicles, you think, got cancelled.
	I was actually surprised he had 7 projects in the first place.
	I was very surprised as well.
	I really thought that, you know, he had two projects going.
	Was Empire?
	Yes.
	And then, hopefully, Empire 2, if there were a spin-off.
	They're not very creative with the title.
	Yeah, he wanted it.
	He was hoping for the Money Dust.
	It was just a fake hate crime.
	Not gonna get it.
	Money Dust.
	Well, thank you, Adam Perna.
	Our great director, Adam McKay.
	Christian Bale.
	What a... Alright.
	Oh, you're here.
	Here you go.
	Go ahead.
	Take our time.
	That's you.
	Who's afraid of that?
	No, I already did.
	Plan B, Gary Sanchez.
	This is like going to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving dinner.
	What?
	Do you have the stuffing?
	Grace?
	She died seven years ago.
	I got the reference, but it was ill-timed.
	You're so great to work with and create with and everything.
	Thank you.
	Amy Adams, thank you for bringing us up to your level of commitment.
	This is so uncomfortable.
	You think this show is uncomfortable to watch right now?
	This is the most uncomfortable award ceremony I've ever seen.
	Oh, it is Sam Rothblatt.
	Susan Matheson.
	Jeff Waxman.
	Just read it, guys.
	All right, let's bring up, let's go right now to actually, we have four this evening.
	This week's Crowder is 7 plus 1.
	So again, for people who are still paying attention, we apologize.
	We cannot control the Oscars.
	But we can control what we do here, and we actually prepared.
	So, 7 plus 1 again for those who forgot.
	Top 7 cancelled Jussie Smollett projects.
	He was really pining for an Oscar here this year.
	He was hoping.
	Really hoping.
	Number 7!
	In the hoax of the night.
	Yeah, that's going right there.
	That would have been good.
	I think it would have been good.
	That would have been good. I think it would have been good.
	They call me Mr. Fake Hate Crime.
	Mr. It's the Mr. part that sells it.
	No, it's Mr. Tips, but you've never seen it.
	No, I did.
	Number six, Rodigan, number six.
	Lying gaze in the hood.
	Gaze with a Z. Yeah, lying gaze in the hood.
	What the hell am I looking at on television?
	I think that's Melissa McCarthy, if I'm not mistaken.
	Are those cats animals?
	They're running a train on that stage.
	I believe that's Melissa McCarthy and Will.i.am.
	This is not weird at all.
	It's Shaquille O'Neal as well, I am?
	That's not Shaquille.
	Is that three quarters back, Gary?
	I have no idea, but I bet you our seven plus one is funnier than this.
	Let's continue with it.
	Number five, again, these are canceled Jesse Smollett projects that he was hoping to win an Oscar with.
	Number five, saving private check receipts.
	Yeah, this was one.
	That's a good idea.
	Good idea.
	Actually, it's a better idea to not write a check if you're committing a crime in the first place.
	Especially if you're hiring your personal trainer to tune up.
	Was it $900,000?
	No, it was like $25,000.
	No, 2,500.
	I was exaggerating.
	You're just inaccurate.
	Big difference here.
	Number four.
	Why don't you read number four?
	Sleepless in the slammer.
	He'll never be sleepless.
	They won't necessarily be restless nights.
	It's not going to be someone rubbing his sores like the Queen, exactly.
	Maybe they will.
	Number 3.
	I'm surprised you signed on to this project.
	Number 3 again.
	Top 7 cancelled Jesse Smollett projects.
	Number 3.
	The Gay, the Black, and the Ugly.
	Yeah.
	It almost seems like that's just an insult title.
	Yes.
	And not a genuine film title.
	Yeah.
	Either way, it works.
	Number 2.
	Catch Me If You Can, colon, oh wait, you just did.
	Yeah, that's number 2.
	That's number 2.
	And you know what?
	You have this one there.
	Number 1.
	Jesse Smollett cancelled project.
	Empire.
	Strikes back.
	Empire Strikes Back.
	And of course, there's always one in the chamber.
	People often forget about it.
	The Plus One cancelled Jussie Smollett project.
	Liar, liar.
	Though interesting enough, still starring Jim Carrey.
	It's really more of a Jim Carrey vehicle with Jussie Smollett just happens to be in it.
	I think he played the driver.
	No, he plays the father-in-law.
	Originally, it was the dad from Princess Bride.
	But in this case, it's just him and his personal trainer hitting him with a hammer.
	Yeah, oh wait, he's not happy with his salary on this movie.
	He just committed another hoax hate crime.
	Sorry.
	This is true.
	Yes, he's that male anthrax to himself.
	He upped his game a little bit.
	It was just powdered sugar in a manila envelope.
	That has been this week's Crowder's 7 Plus 1 Oscars theme.
	You forgot Stefan in the chamber!
	Should never forget the one in the chamber.
	I was about to say you should never forget the one in the chamber.
	Well no, I was going to say the hate crime was going to be against the fake rabbits that are on Melissa McCarthy's dress.
	Possibly against Melissa McCarthy.
	Yeah, possibly.
	I'm pretty sure she's not a member of PETA.
	You don't get that size eating vegetables.
	All right, listen guys, we're actually going, so trivia, before we come back from the break, we're going to show your best costumes, okay?
	Tweet them at Ask Crowder, but we also have trivia right now.
	Whoever answers this question correctly gets a lock of Gerald Morgan's hair.
	No, I'm not giving that away.
	Question, actually, these are accurate questions here.
	They're true questions, so we want you to answer accurately.
	I get that, you know, we like to have a bit of fun.
	We like to have a laugh, but these questions are important.
	What is Ilhan Omar's favorite comedy?
	By the way, before we go to the break, I should tell you this.
	Ilhan Omar's favorite comedy.
	Comedy.
	What is Ilhan Omar's favorite comedy?
	We are going to go to a...
	Oh, by the way, before we go to the break, I should tell you this.
	A lot of people have been complaining about cultural appropriation here.
	Yes.
	At the Oscars this year, and at the program.
	Oscars 200.
	And if you look at a lot of the roles, some of the roles a lot of people don't know they do profiles on them.
	But they weren't able to because they didn't have a host this year.
	We have profiles in all of these individual roles.
	Some of them have been accused of culturally appropriating.
	I'm not sure that I entirely agree, but we'll go to this break.
	We'll be back in a few minutes with your answer to trivia.
	Here we go, for your consideration.
	We'll be right back.
	For your consideration, for Best Actor in a Leading Role, Tom Cruise in Gandhi.
	Now I'm asking you to fight.
	To fight against their anger, not to provoke it.
	We will not strike a blow.
	We will not strike a blow.
	They may torture my body, break my bones, and even kill me!
	They will have my dead body.
	But not my obedience.
	Applause.
	Music.
	Music.
	I've lived most of my life out on YouTube with only a little channel, a handful of subscribers.
	I reckon they didn't like me on the platform run bit.
	Back then it was mostly just me uploading short videos and me talking to my camera.
	I ain't had nothing but a bed sheet, a camera, a couple of microphones down there.
	Back then, the Young Turks used to make quite a bit of sport of me.
	They teased me quite a bit.
	I got to the point where I could feed Hopper cheese and biscuits four times a week.
	But mostly, I just sat out there making videos on my channel.
	Well, one night, I was doing much of nothing, just staring at the YouTube, searching on a PragerU video for the Electoral College.
	All I could find was some nerd trying to make up tutorials in my suggested feed.
	So I logged into my YouTube account to see what was wrong with it.
	Turns out every video had been put in restricted.
	I've even been unsubscribed from Light Earth Crater, my favorite channel.
	I had to re-subscribe quite a bit.
	But even when I did, I didn't receive no notifications.
	Had to hit the bell three times.
	But then I ain't seen nothing but Trevor Noah videos in my suggested feed.
	But then I'd just seen Red.
	So I hired myself a half-Asian lawyer.
	Some people think he's half-Mexican and he's half-Asian.
	He's got almond little shaped eyes and hair that stick out straight out the side of his head.
	Don't matter how he cut it, I reckon.
	He'd just puff out like that, black as pitch.
	Because he's half Asian and whatnot.
	Well, I had my little builder go on in and talk with YouTube's top lawyers.
	Parlay with them about our questions on my channel.
	But they didn't answer none of it.
	Not the restrictions and monetization.
	They just kept asking us to spend more money on advertising.
	Screaming, what'd you do Trinibane for?
	What'd you do Trinibane for?
	I reckon that made me madder than the whole notification business.
	So I had Bill Richmond.
	He's half Asian.
	Some people think he's half Mexican.
	He's half Asian.
	I had him walk right on in to Susan Wojcicki's office at YouTube.
	Sure.
	I knew you'd come back.
	Thank God.
	Anybody want some Mud Club?
	Hopper, cost $90.90 a year.
	$60.90 for students in the active military.
	Oh, come on, Quarter Black.
	I don't need that.
	I can't laugh right now.
	So you haven't seen the puppy?
	Oh, come on.
	No, I was waiting to see her together.
	I seen the kid.
	Kid's a winner.
	He's got a head just like you, Hopper.
	Oh, there she is now.
	Look at her.
	Hey, there's your big brother, puppy.
	Is that it?
	Oh, Hopper, I can't believe it.
	She's really ours.
	Thank you.
	Oh, come on.
	Now you've done all the work, Hopper.
	I can't believe you've done this.
	Hey.
	Believe me, we did.
	Oh, no.
	She ain't got a name.
	What do we call her, Hopper?
	Betty's a great name.
	Yeah, Betty's a pretty good name.
	Yeah, Betty's okay.
	Oh, Hop, she's the best I've ever seen.
	You've really done good.
	You've really done good.
	Oh, you look so tired.
	Why don't you shave that gross thing?
	Uh, no, no, I feel great.
	I feel great.
	Listen, I was thinking, if you don't want me mixing around on YouTube no more, you know, you don't want no more of the Mohammed cartoons or the Tranny jokes, I was thinking, maybe I'm not gonna do the show.
	You know, we can make some other way.
	There's one thing I want you to do for me.
	What is that?
	Come here.
	What?
	Bring the show back.
	Bring the show back.
	What are we waiting for?
	I'm on retainer here!
	Yeah!
	I'm on retainer here!
	Oof!
	Hurry up!
	Faster!
	Oh Oh
	Oh Oh
	Yeah the more I know
	Anarchist Parade!
	No, chef!
	Trevor Noah!
	Candle Black!
	Oh Oh
	the black money
	It's gonna be a bright show, baby, yeah!
	It's implosive!
	It's like the Joker!
	I'm just trying to stay!
	There he is!
	Yeah!
	It's gonna be a bright show, baby, yeah!
	That's it, Pelosi!
	You've hit the jukebox!
	I'm just trying to stay!
	There he is!
	Yeah!
	Alright, we're back!
	Hey, by the way, we're not back on YouTube, so for those of you watching, we have a little phone here on Instagram.
	Go to the Facebook page.
	I don't even know my Facebook page.
	Is Steven Crowder official?
	I just searched Steven Crowder.
	Okay, if you're on Instagram right now, we've actually put this... I don't know if we can go to a long shot.
	We have a makeshift ladder up here right now with a phone.
	You have no sound on Instagram.
	People who are on Instagram right now, go watch the stream on Facebook.
	We were hit with... There you go.
	Can you show that again?
	And it's still better produced than the Oscars.
	What happened?
	We were at 40,000 people watching on YouTube, our biggest stream ever, and end-mounting, by the way.
	That was with only one guest.
	And then ABC decided to hit us with a copyright strike.
	Now here's something that's really important.
	Just so you know, you pieces of shit, the story just changed.
	Yep.
	You look like idiots.
	This is the problem right now.
	They're talking about how things are shifting with Roma and how things are shifting with old media, right?
	Hold on a second, guys.
	Let's keep the volume down there because I really am pissed and I can't hear myself because we can't play the audio now, so all I hear is you guys.
	And that's not your fault.
	That's the fault of ABC and YouTube.
	We can't play the stream for you.
	We can't commentate on the stream.
	What is the Oscars?
	What are the Oscars this year?
	It's pure propaganda.
	Go watch Vice.
	Go watch Blackkklansman.
	Go watch all the shit that they're showing.
	And what are we doing?
	We are clearly transforming the Oscars.
	That's the rule of copyright law, okay?
	It's A, are you doing direct parody?
	If so, it's okay.
	Well, obviously we know about single-party consent states.
	Then it's, is this transformative enough for this to constitute new art?
	That's how we won our legal case with Shia LaBeouf's You Will Not Divide Us livestream.
	By the way, make no mistake, we've never lost.
	We're going to have a half-Asian pitbull so far up your ass.
	He's going to need to get a sigmoidoscope, you pieces of s***.
	You want to push propaganda out there and then try and hit us with a copyright strike
	saying that we're somehow stealing or lifting your content?
	By the way, we have more content prepared for this Oscars livestream than you prepared
	all year, dumbasses.
	This is the problem.
	At one point you could silence people like us, but now people like us can watch your
	propagandizing a, I don't even know if that's a word, and call motherf***s out.
	Yeah, I'm cussing, I get it, it's live, people are upset.
	Instagram, you can go to Facebook right now.
	This entire story just changed because you done messed up.
	You thought you were going to hit the channel with a hard strike so we wouldn't be able to stream tonight?
	Guess what?
	We're streaming on Facebook, they might take us down!
	Then we're coming after your shits legally, and we're getting this up as a clip.
	We have different streams being recorded and tricasted right now.
	We could remove your stupid Oscar stream.
	And by the way, everyone watching, watch this stream on Facebook, and just turn on the Oscars on your television so you can watch along with us.
	ABC Disney?
	Is it ABC Disney?
	You didn't think we could solve this shit?
	The main reason that we're getting more viewers than you, the main reason we're kicking the shit out of your late night hosts, is because we're more flexible, we're smarter than you, and we actually create better content.
	We create content on this show with one writer, and now an assistant writer, Brodigan and Pantel.
	Three writers, effectively, that require 27 for you to create The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
	Which, by the way, hasn't been funny accidentally, just like Maya Rudolph on your precious fucking stream.
	Here's the thing, you can take us down, I understand it.
	You're well within your right to be wrong, but you're not well within your right to break the law.
	And right now you're trying to silence people who are making you out to look like the fools that you are.
	Make no mistake, this has happened before.
	They've tried to silence us before.
	It happened with Facebook, with the Gizmodo article.
	They've been trying to throttle our page, from which you're probably watching.
	By the way, Instagram, please go to the Facebook page, that's the only place we can stream right now.
	It happened before, with copyright strikes on YouTube, and they tried to make it so that we could not stream, and it's happening again!
	We've won every single time!
	The law is on our side, more importantly, the people of the United States are on our side, and, most importantly, the funny is on our side, a**hole!
	We've been watching this f***ing stream all night!
	Please!
	You made a mistake.
	For crying out loud!
	I don't want to do that, by the way.
	I don't want to have to do this.
	I don't want to be the Facebook rantin' eh-eh-eh-eh.
	Champs America.
	We wanted to have some jokes.
	We had Michael Myers come out and make himself a Manhattan.
	Okay?
	This is not a serious stream.
	Make no mistake, by the way, people who are watching, this is why you join up at MugClub.
	If you're watching the Facebook livestream, this is why we have the costume contest.
	I think a lot of people disconnect from how we make a living, okay?
	How are we able to- Hopper's been responding well to chemo, by the way.
	I didn't want to talk about this before because I didn't want to be going out there using it for you guys to join MugClub.
	But guess what?
	The only place I make a living, because of what you see tonight with YouTube, It's Mud Club.
	It's your support.
	By supporting the show, $99 a year right now, use Crowder Oscars promo code.
	Isn't that a great f**k you to these people?
	We're using your stream to give our people a discount and continue to eat away at your network.
	We're like the remora who's gotten bigger than the shark.
	This is so far beyond the realm of trying to silence the little guy.
	You want to champion the little guy up here?
	Was it only if he's a black tranny with rickets?
	We're the little guy right here.
	We're the underdog right here.
	We're trying to create content for people who care, and everyone here makes a living off of Muggle.
	This is why this is so important.
	A lot of people say, oh, maybe I don't like Glenn Beck.
	Maybe I don't like some other shows at the Blaze.
	Listen, I understand that people have differences of opinions when it comes to all different on-air personalities.
	I get along great with Mark Levin.
	I get along with Glenn Beck.
	I love Gavin McInnes.
	But here's the deal.
	If you're not supporting us here, you're supporting YouTube.
	You're supporting the people who silence us through your silence.
	Are we able to take care of Hopper?
	Well, we're able to pay for chemo because you guys joined Mug Club.
	How is everyone here able to make a living?
	Well, it's because you people joined Mug Club.
	How is everyone here able to afford healthcare?
	Well, it's because you guys joined Mug Club.
	And these people want you to disconnect, right?
	Because you've been so disconnected for so long from the big Hollywood pictures, it's impersonal.
	They're impersonal with us.
	There's this disassociation that's occurred with people like us out there creating content, or people like PewDiePie.
	They think if we hit them with a copyright strike, they'll go away.
	They think that for some reason, we're not in the same industry that they are, even though we're hitting more viewers with less money.
	So much less money, by the way.
	So much less money.
	So don't allow that to affect you.
	Don't depersonalize it.
	Don't disassociate with what's actually going on.
	The only way we're able to do these streams, and tomorrow, we'll be able to get up and call our half-Asian SMU cum laude law grad, who's on retainer, is because of Mug Club.
	It's because of Mug Club.
	We're coming for you, and we're coming for all the marbles.
	And by the way, that's not just rhetoric.
	Look at the track record that we have here at Live with Crowder.
	Look at the lawsuits that we f***ed.
	In the same year, we settled out of court with Facebook, beat Shia LaBeouf's best friend, and The Guardian, or Daily Telegraph.
	I don't remember which fat, angry lesbian it was.
	It was one of them.
	And by the way, Amy Schumer as well.
	The same stuff happened when we did a review of Amy Schumer's Netflix special.
	Obviously if you were just taking the stream and running it out there for free, that's a copyright violation.
	You're simply stealing content.
	You won't find a court in the world who will say that this was simply ripping the Oscars without any transformative aspect.
	You dummies.
	What do you think is going to happen?
	We have more, I guess NBC is, we have more subscribers here on YouTube than you do to your night show!
	To Seth Meyers!
	And we certainly have more viewers than Trevor Noah or Stephen Colbert.
	If you guys have a video that hits one million viewers, and by the way, I don't want to go out there and talk about our numbers all the time because numbers ebb and flow, but if you guys have a video that comes from a late night show that hits half of our average number, it's a f***ing event at your office!
	You're throwing an office party!
	Hey guys, you see that Stephen Colbert?
	It was only on YouTube Trending next to the Trash Makeup Tutorials for four days.
	It hit half a million.
	Boy, that was a real barn burner, wasn't it?
	I can blow my nose that we have more viewers than you.
	And that's not to be arrogant.
	That's not to brag about our numbers.
	But it's to say how out of touch you are because you don't understand.
	I bet you tread a lot more carefully.
	If it were Seth Meyers, or if it were Trevor Noah.
	What you don't understand is that this show has more viewers.
	And by the way, a far more engaged audience.
	I don't want anyone being doxed.
	Don't go doxing the executives at ABC or Disney.
	We don't want that.
	Obviously, we rise above it.
	But do send in your letters of complaint.
	And of course, do join Mug Club, because we are coming for you.
	Make no mistake.
	And we haven't lost yet.
	Maybe you'll get it right this time, but I wouldn't bet money on it.
	By the way, the answer to the trivia question, what is Ilhan Omar's favorite comedy?
	Schindler's List!
	Yeah, that's the answer right there.
	Just in case Facebook hadn't banned us yet.
	He loved it.
	Oh, those bastards.
	Someone else take this right now because I'm a little pissed off.
	I think they picked a fight that they're not going to be able to win.
	And if you're watching out there right now, just like he said, now is the time to get pissed off.
	The way that you fight stuff like this is by supporting Mug Club and making sure that people like you two can't silence voices of opposition.
	We don't want voices silenced on either side.
	We want everybody to be able to say stuff.
	And if you think you tuned into the Oscars tonight just to watch the Oscars, I PAINTED LIKE AN ETHNIC OSCAR!
	IT'S TRANSFORMED INTO ME!
	OKAY?
	I'M JUST SAYING!
	IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!
	I CAN'T FIGURE THAT OUT!
	IT'S STILL REAL TO ME!
	I HAVE GOLD ON MY FACE!
	DO YOU SEE THIS?
	By the way, P.A.
	of Maximus the P.A.
	is in here for some reason.
	I have no idea why.
	He just wants to see the rain.
	I have no idea.
	This whole segment has been blown to crap.
	I don't know what we have next.
	Here's the other thing.
	If the Oscars didn't suck, we would not be doing this.
	We'd be watching the Oscars.
	They were doing their jobs right!
	They wouldn't need us!
	We tried to make it funny!
	It's insane to me.
	Here's the thing.
	Every time, and I'm so appreciative, I think like, man, well, we did so well last year.
	Well, we're not going to have a bigger... We get a bigger stream because there's more and more of a thirst for this kind of content.
	By the way, I don't think I'm the second coming of Christ to comedy at all.
	I think that the people in this room are the only ones with the balls to stand up.
	Why?
	Because they're bullies.
	Watch this right now.
	I don't care if you're left or right.
	This probably will be cut by a clip from someone.
	Comment below and let me know.
	When you see ABC and Disney taking down a stream for criticizing their event ceremony, which by the way, this is no different from everyone else.
	Everyone knows that this Oscar ceremony sucks, just like James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
	Tell me they're not the bullies.
	Tell me they're not the guys in the schoolyard who deserve to be punched in the face.
	This is what's happening, guys.
	This is why your numbers are at record lows and ours continue to grow by the day.
	It's because you're a bully.
	And by the way, we have about 40% of our audience aren't even conservative Hollywood, it is not the length of your show, it's the quality of your show.
	By the way, since this is gonna be going up tomorrow on YouTube, we'll just bleep tr**ny to make sure that they don't remove that also.
	And I was watching Caribbean Enthusiasm of the Day, I think it was season 5, and Larry David repeatedly used the word tr**ny.
	By the way, you've given awards to films that used the word tr**ny not long ago.
	Oh my gosh.
	What's going on there, Producer Tim?
	You know what?
	I think we're just going to roll with this right now because we have Cortez coming up soon.
	Who do we have after Jim, actually?
	I think we have Anne McElhinney.
	How long can Jim Norton wait for us?
	You know what?
	Let's bring out Jim.
	By the way, hit the notification column up there.
	Hit the notification bell, Garrett, quarter black Garrett can get this going while you guys call him up on Skype.
	What is it?
	Notification bell, join Mug Club in case you haven't already done that.
	And also, we've got Jim Norton, we've got Anthony Cumia, we already have funnier people than anyone who's doing comedy at the Oscars right now.
	We have Jim.
	We have Jim Norton, he looks like a baby, he's a funny motherf***er.
	Sorry, I know I'm cussing because I get really mad when they try to remove our livelihoods.
	Hold on here, the whole show map has been messed up because of what's been going on.
	Jim Norton, is he there?
	Do we have Jim Norton on right now?
	Hold on one second, let me get Jim Norton's plug in here.
	Of course, at Jim Norton on Twitter for as long as they allow it, and he'll be at the Orlando Improv March 15th and 16th.
	San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club April 4th.
	5th and 6th.
	And people are not watching this on YouTube right now because it's been banned, but of course they'll see this in the archive and they'll realize... Who's not an a**hole?
	Jim Norton, are you there, sir?
	I'm here, man.
	Can you hear me?
	Oh, I can't hear him.
	Can we get Jim Norton going?
	Hold on one second there.
	We can hear you, Jim.
	We're just gonna turn the volume up on our end, buddy.
	You're good.
	Hold on one second.
	We had to make some changes.
	Can I hear... Jim, can you hear me, brother?
	I can hear you, yes.
	Okay, well thank you so much for sticking around.
	I don't know if you've heard or been following, but our stream was just taken, it was at 40,000 viewers at any given second, and then ABC Disney said that it was a copyright violation because we're ridiculing the Oscars.
	Well, do you do a thing, there's a way to do it, like Rogan will do these things with these fight companions?
	Where you start it when they start it so you don't actually show it.
	It's kind of a way of getting around that crap.
	Yes, well here's the thing.
	We did this last year and we weren't struck.
	So, you know, that's kind of the consistency of applying the law.
	And of course, as you know, right, it's transformative.
	Like if someone takes a Jim Norton stand-up bit and just passes it off as their own, that's obviously stealing.
	But if someone, let's say, takes your stand-up, let's say someone who doesn't like you and, you know, adds fart sounds and says Jim Norton sucks, obviously I'm sure you've dealt with this.
	We have on our show.
	We find it wildly funny.
	You know, you don't try and take that stuff down, you're just like, alright, that's a critic.
	Yeah, they're probably improving my material anyway.
	I'm trying to find a place where I'm going to be well-lit.
	Okay, here I am.
	There's no place that will be well-lit.
	You'll just be more lit.
	You're right.
	I'm lit.
	Let me say something, Jim.
	Before you continue, okay, when we're talking about this, by the way, ABC, Disney, you look at the people who tried to take us down, okay?
	We have a drinking game going tonight, and obviously I'm very upset, so I don't have all my faculties.
	I'm going to let you carry the load of this.
	Of course, Cobb's Comedy Club, April 4th, 5th, and 6th.
	Here's the thing.
	First off, when you're looking at the people who are, politically, killing babies and silencing people who they disagree with.
	Let's just say you watch the Oscars and they're silencing the stream, you go, alright, okay, they're the bullies.
	Like Ben Midler right now.
	And then if we're looking at comedy right now, the current state of comedy, they go, well, hold on a second, we got Jim Norton, I'm not including him here, he doesn't share my opinion, but if you look at Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers, right, and then you go on our side, you go, okay, we got Nick DiPaolo, we got Norm Macdonald, we got Dennis Miller, and then we have people who at least aren't dyed-in-the-wool leftists like Jim Norton, It's pretty clear to see where the funny lies.
	Jim, I think you're one of the best stand-up comics working today.
	And I side with guys like you.
	Thanks, man.
	Well, you know, it's hard to be funny while trying to tell other people they can't say certain things.
	Like, my job isn't to police comedy.
	I don't give a shit what people say.
	It's not my business, as long as they're funny or trying to be funny.
	Right, I know.
	But this has changed so dramatically now.
	I remember when we first had you on the show.
	I can't remember.
	It might have been two years ago.
	And I remember the same thing with Nick DiPaolo.
	You guys said, well, I see it on college campuses and a lot of comedians avoid college campuses, but I don't think it's going to be as severe in the clubs.
	And now you see people like Nick DiPaolo saying, I mean, he got kicked by a broad in Birkenstocks and Bill Burr complaining about it.
	Would you say that you misjudged that a little bit and that it has kind of seeped into the clubs at this point?
	I'm such a dopey optimist.
	Hey guys, the pendulum is going to swing back.
	No it isn't.
	The funny bone is going to stay funny.
	It will not.
	Me and Colin Quinn have been talking about this for 20 years.
	It's going to swing back.
	You hope against hope it's going to swing back.
	It's not swinging back.
	I was wrong.
	Dude, they've grown at this setup.
	Like literally if you go, you know, R. Kelly.
	You say the name R. Kelly and they go, whoa.
	Now, this doesn't happen at your shows, for example, when you're in San Francisco or you're in Miami.
	You're talking about maybe when you get up and do a showcase set where the audience isn't there for you, right?
	Well, San Francisco, you know, they're awesome.
	It's such a very, you know, you figure a hypersensitive city, but the people that come out to the shows there are amazing.
	They're as good as any place in the country.
	I actually had seven Hells Angels come to see me in San Francisco last time I was there.
	Wow.
	Not the audience I was expecting, yeah.
	And they walked in in the middle of my show, Caitlyn Jenner bit, and they just sat down and enjoyed it.
	I thought I was about to get my teeth kicked out.
	Right, but then they might add an addendum to your comedy.
	You're like, no, no, no.
	Let me take a look.
	Yeah, that's right.
	I want to kick that tranny in the teeth.
	You're like, no, no, no.
	That's not where we're going with this.
	That's not the point I'm making.
	No, no, no.
	And then you're up at HuffPo the next day.
	Jim Norton sides with Hell's Angels after they beat Trini at Dive Bar.
	It really is funny how they just can't wait to catch you saying the wrong thing.
	They just can't wait.
	And I know you guys have gotten so much shit about it just because you're not, you know, beating the drum on the right side.
	Rob, well, you know what?
	The thing is, this is really mainly a comedy show.
	We've talked about this for a long time.
	I really don't like late night that much anymore.
	I know you were a Jay Leno, a friend of Jay Leno's, but for me, kind of the gold standard there, Was David Letterman, obviously.
	I grew up on him.
	And I always felt like I was a better host than I was stand-up.
	I always remember I used to watch guys like you and Nick DiPaolo and Dennis Miller and I'd feel very bad about myself because I'm like, oh man, I'll never be as good as those guys.
	But there are some other things that I can do.
	I really would love to host a show.
	And then I realized there was an opening because everything else out there was so dyed-in-the-wool left.
	Like this show is probably, would you say, 70% non-political?
	It's just that it's known that our political opinions lean right.
	And I know you're not a conservative, Jim, but the fact that you're just not a PC leftist, they lump you in that category often.
	It is funny.
	And I agree with the conservatives a lot more on speech issues.
	And I never thought I'd be saying that, you know, because I felt like, hey, comedians, man, it's all liberal and it's just a free thought, but it's bulls**t. It's the conservatives who are fighting for free speech, which, you know, it is what it is.
	So yeah, no, I'm not a conservative, but I agree with you guys more on speech.
	Would you say that your audience has transitioned more to being more politically right-leaning?
	In more ways than one.
	That's your masseuse's office.
	But your audience that comes to see your shows, would you say they've transitioned to being probably more right-leaning or, I guess, right-friendly than they used to be, say, eight, ten years ago?
	Maybe.
	It's hard to say because people who come to see me kind of know what I do at this point.
	So, I mean, a lot of the ones who agree with me on speech will hate my sexuality or the way I live my life.
	So I can't get any group to actually like me.
	You know, half tolerate me on this side, half tolerate me on that side.
	Wait, what's your sexuality?
	Just liking trans women and stuff like that, which I've talked about for years.
	Oh yeah, well I knew that, but I didn't really consider... That's gender, that's not sexuality.
	Right there, you don't even know, you're guilty of hate speech.
	There you go, I really am.
	I'm minimalizing it.
	Imagine that, the person who comes up to you and says that seriously, like, um, excuse me, trans is a gender issue, it has nothing to do with sex, you're like, I literally just had a happy ending by a transsexual gender, I don't know the term here!
	I assume that you have.
	I've read your book, so I don't think I'm letting the kid in.
	Of course I have.
	Nothing to do with sexuality.
	Tell that to my mouth.
	He'll be in the next favorite.
	By the way, did you see the favorite this year?
	I did not.
	Oh, here's the thing.
	It was very good, but we were talking about how they tried to fit in a lesbian thing.
	Oh no!
	Trevor Noah's on TV!
	Can we bring up the audio a little bit?
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Are you buddies with Trevor Noah there, Jim?
	I know Trevor, yeah.
	I get along with him.
	Alright, never mind, never mind.
	We won't bring it up.
	I'm not a fan.
	That'd be awkward.
	But the favorite was great.
	It was really funny.
	And they shoehorned kind of the lesbian thing in there, but it's not like they used to try and be erotic with it.
	It's Emma Stone performing Cunnilingus on the Queen who has, like, seeping sores in her leg.
	He's like, oh yes, that feels wondrous!
	I'm like, hold on a second, here's the thing.
	Are you going to call me homophobic because I don't want to see Rachel Weisz rubbing, oozing scabs as she reaches up to the disgusting, hairy snatch of the Queen?
	This is the film I know.
	I don't know.
	Not homophobic, no.
	But I think you'd be wrong to not want to see that.
	Unfortunately, now no one gets to see this because it's up on the stream.
	By the way, you're right that we've told people go watch the Oscars, put it side by side with us so that we don't get into a ton of trouble.
	Jim Norton, alright, have you seen a lot of the films here tonight?
	No, the only one I saw was, I get them because I'm in SAG, I saw Vice and of course the point of view of it was typical, but I thought Christian Bale was great, I enjoyed him in the movie.
	What I found so funny about Vice, we were just talking about this, was when they try to convince us that it changed from global warming to climate change because Frank Luntz did a focus group.
	That's right.
	That's right.
	It was conservatives who said, hey, it's getting colder now, let's change it to... But hold on a second.
	No conservatives use the term climate change.
	They say global warming, and the left is like, no, no, no, it's climate change because, you know, record crop yields in the Midwest.
	Sorry, I'm pissed off, Jim.
	I hate to be the sermonizing guy, but you know... I don't mind.
	They step on our livelihood.
	That's one thing... Sure.
	I was talking about this.
	A lot of people sort of are disconnected.
	You've been doing obviously your show for a long time.
	You do stand up and people watch it and because I don't want to use the term like bombastic I feel like I'm writing like we've talked about this the nasty show the just for laughs like oh Jim Norton's bombastic he's so nasty but you're you would be seen as caustic to some people they disconnect and don't realize that this is still how you make a living And that's what's happening right now with this stream.
	You don't have to like it, and you don't even necessarily have to watch it, but you just don't have to prevent somebody who disagrees with you from making a living.
	It would never even occur to me to do that with, say, the Young Turks or Trevor Noah.
	If they used a clip, which Young Turks have, Trevor Noah has not, probably because it would help his ratings.
	But I think that's where there's this disconnect.
	Right, where you feel like they're taking it down because they don't like the point of view.
	I mean, you're bashing them so they're going to take you down.
	I mean, that's what they do, dude.
	They're the worst.
	I mean, I would just put it side by side and try to time code it and let people watch it and then bash it as hard as you want.
	We did.
	It really is awful.
	It really is awful.
	That's exactly what we did.
	We actually had it window in window in a little window down in the corner.
	And they said, they're like, well, listen, clearly we're going to hemorrhage ratings because these people would have been tuned in to Terrestrial ABC.
	They would have been tuned in to WABC 5 and Schenectady.
	How do they even know?
	How the fuck do they know?
	They have some kind of, is it like something, an algorithm or something that reads?
	By the way, I know nothing about computers.
	I don't know what I'm talking about.
	No, it would be, here's the thing, if it's a soft strike, it's often automatic, like music, or if you're showing a clip, like we've been struck because we do a rebuttal, let's say, to, I don't know, Seth Meyers or John Oliver, whoever it is, or it could be Young Turks, but it's automatic, and then when we clarify, they fix it.
	Something like this, it's a hard strike, that actually, it removes our ability to put up videos longer than 10 minutes, it removes our ability to stream, that someone, as far as I understand, at least in the past, it was always someone manually doing it.
	Which, again, is what's so damning here because there are other Oscar-streaming parties going on right now, and we did it last year, but last year we didn't have the same viewership as we have now, so I don't think they had a problem with it.
	So now you're probably paying for your success in a way where all of a sudden if you've got 40,000 people watching, it's a noticeable thing now.
	Right.
	Whereas before, it might have been under the radar.
	I'd like to think that that's the case, but it could also be that we're just phoning this in and they're not happy about it.
	Give me a combination of those things.
	They don't have to be mutually exclusive.
	It could be a combination of all.
	And then they saw that you were coming up on the docket.
	It was actually when we announced Jim Norton coming up next that they said, and remove.
	Because he removes our transgender card.
	We can't say they're transphobic.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Are they still?
	Because he said sexuality.
	Can we say they're all transphobic?
	Let's just play it safe and copyright strike.
	All right.
	It is at Jim Norton, Orlando Improv, March 15th through 16th.
	And then San Francisco, April 4th.
	5th and 6th.
	Is there anything else I'm missing where people can find you there, Jim?
	No, just I don't have that many gates going out.
	I just got so sick of the road, so I've just been doing the radio show.
	I'm just bored with my life.
	Well, where can people find the radio show?
	I don't have that written down here.
	Jim Norton and Sam Roberts on SiriusXM.
	Jim Norton and Sam Roberts.
	Oh, he was trending the other day because he got into some crap for something you said about fake wrestling.
	I'm like, guys, do you not understand that this is... Sorry, I don't want to... I mean, I don't know if I'm letting the cat out of the bag here, but he was commenting on a not real thing and people got really mad at him.
	They really do.
	Sam is like loved or hated and it's really funny for me when they hate him because like wrestling is his bread and butter that's his thing and he'll say something like that and the wrestling fans they hate him so much he trends.
	That's what I saw!
	By the way, tell Sam I actually think the guy is hysterical, and I think he's doing a fancam.
	If you get wrestling fans mad at you, and that you're actually trending, you must be doing something right, because your job with wrestling is to push buttons.
	He really is one of the best at doing it, and I know now I'll get hate mail for that, but I love it when I see him trending for that stuff.
	You're absolutely right, man.
	Your set looks great, by the way.
	I don't know how often you've had it like this.
	This looks fantastic.
	I don't know.
	You know, I don't know who wore it better, Freddie Mercury or Eddie Murphy in Raw, but I certainly don't consider myself anonymous.
	Oh no, I was saying the whole set, like the whole background.
	I mean, the Freddie Mercury outfit is phenomenal, of course.
	Thank you very much, and I appreciate your dress.
	Can we show him the long shot of the set, or can he see it?
	He can't see the long shot, no.
	He can't see the long shot.
	We've got, I don't know if you saw, can he see Gerald if he's in, or can he see me?
	Oh, let's not.
	Oh, hi.
	We got our old Oscar statue here.
	This is a good first impression, right, Jim?
	I can't see Gerald, I can only see you guys.
	Oh, thank God, yes!
	Okay, alright, well then never mind.
	You can watch this stream tomorrow, God willing, if it's let back up here.
	Hey, Jim Norton, I really appreciate it.
	And listen, if you are doing the radio show, you can broadcast from here sometime.
	We'd love to have you in studio.
	I know we always have you by Skype.
	I know.
	I really do want to come down and do that, man.
	I want to come in and see you guys.
	It's just a matter of me and Sam being able to leave town at the same time, but I would love to do that.
	OK, absolutely.
	All right, Jim Norton, thank you so much, brother.
	You must go.
	We have to go back to this non-stream.
	Thank you guys.
	Can we just touch on one thing that he's, a specific thing he said?
	Yeah.
	Where he said that I'm not a conservative but I agree with you guys on free speech.
	That's where the tide's turning.
	Right.
	Because, I mean, you know, I could disagree with you on the environment.
	I could disagree with you on health care.
	I could disagree with you on taxes.
	We could have a respectful debate.
	Oh wait, hold on a second.
	Hold that thought.
	Let's keep the audio really low here, and I just want, I would like to hear it though.
	This is a good award.
	Best supporting actor.
	This is what I'm waiting for.
	You know, I think they're gonna give it to Sam Elliott because he deserved it for Best Actor Hero, and he didn't get it.
	Can I hear the audio a little bit from the stream?
	Working on it.
	There you go.
	Long story short, at the end of the day, their rules are always changing, what you can and can't say.
	Our rules are really simple.
	Say whatever the f*** you want.
	Pretty much.
	By the way, let's curb it on the cussing.
	I know I let it fly there, but it's good.
	We don't want to give our entire team a ton of work.
	I want to appreciate the fact that we're going to have a YouTube clip up, probably like 3 million clips of you ranting about how much YouTube sucks while you're dressed like Freddie Mercury.
	I think you meant 3 million views, but you're drunk.
	Yes.
	A little bit, yes.
	I don't think this is going to go how they thought it was going to go.
	I don Yes, let's have someone get him a refill.
	He's not drunk enough.
	Don't do it.
	He's from Jersey.
	By the way, fantastic performance from Christian Bale.
	I love Sam Rockwell.
	He's one of my favorite actors.
	It was not a great performance.
	Really?
	Sam Rockwell was one of my favorites.
	Yeah, but he was not very good as George W. Bush.
	He really wasn't.
	I just have to say.
	I wanted to watch it, but I just couldn't.
	Hold on a second, let's see.
	Is it Sam Elliott?
	Rich Lowry!
	Huh.
	Wait, what's that for?
	The Green Book.
	Wait, how was he a supporting actor?
	He was the star of that movie.
	I need to see Green Book.
	Green Book, by the way, for people who don't know, it was a book that had all black-owned landmarks during the time of segregation.
	Oh, okay.
	So I think the film was about a road trip of a man who only goes to businesses in the Green Book.
	Yes.
	Oh, okay.
	Alright, so hold on.
	Let's see what he does here.
	Can you bring up the drinking game rules again there?
	Hold on, let me hear.
	I want to thank Dr. Shirley for just trying to capture his essence.
	What?
	What?
	Is he dead?
	Trying to capture Dr. Shirley's essence.
	Push me to my ends.
	Which is a reflection of the person he was and the life that he lived.
	Oh, he is dead.
	He's actually a great actor.
	Wait, wait, wait, who is he talking about?
	By the way, for people who are saying you're really stupid, I can only hear this through a small speaker, so I didn't hear what he said.
	I thought he said the name of the director of the film.
	I think he's talking about the guy he was playing.
	Oh, okay, alright.
	For those tuning in right now, we got taken down from YouTube, so we have to be really careful about the volume with the copyright strikes.
	Those on Instagram, by the way, go to Facebook, so if I say anything that's not related to what they're saying, I can't really hear it.
	That's okay, keep it going.
	Keep the Instagram feed going so they can head on over to Facebook.
	Instagram right now, head on over to Facebook.
	What did he just say?
	Hi, Instagram.
	No, what did he just say?
	I think he gave her a shout-out.
	I don't know who that was, but I think she got a shout out.
	I want to dedicate this to my grandmother, who has been in my ear my entire life.
	Must be really cold in that theater.
	Yeah.
	You know you're one of the great acceptance speechwriters in the world, Murph?
	Think you can keep it down a little in there, huh?
	We're the sticky nominees!
	Oh my god.
	The sticky winners.
	Because he won.
	I thank my wife and my daughter, Bari.
	I thank Universal, Participant, Amblin, everyone who contributed and helped with our movie.
	Again, thank you so much.
	That was a really classy acceptance.
	Fantastic.
	One thing I've noticed for the most part when it comes to best actor, actress or best supporting, they're usually classy and appreciative because it's like a lifetime thing.
	It's usually like sound editing or cinematography or like the technical award that people don't care about.
	That's where they make the political statements.
	I won secondary sound mixing for best short form animated documentary.
	And let me just say... Love Trump's hate, I have a bumper sticker.
	What were you going to say there, Brian?
	Pretty much what you just said.
	Orange Man Band.
	No, I think you were right.
	Our rules are consistent.
	A good example right here.
	Okay, Sam Rockwell.
	One of my favorite actors.
	Yes.
	Alright?
	I liked Vice a lot.
	It was pure propaganda, but I have to say that I enjoyed it as a film.
	I also enjoyed the LBJ film with Bryan Cranston that might have been last year.
	We watched them on the same day to kind of contrast how they portrayed them.
	That being said, Sam Rockwell did not give a great performance as George W. Bush.
	Not a fan of... I think Oliver Stone did W if I'm not mistaken.
	He did, yes.
	Not a fan of Josh Brolin at all.
	He gave a better performance as George W. Bush.
	I don't have to give the award to somebody I like, just like I don't have to copyright strike someone who disagrees with me.
	Exactly.
	That's the consistency of everyone in this room.
	You're more of a kind of a libertarian, centrist conservative.
	Gerald is really more of an evangelical conservative Christian.
	I'm really kind of more of a libertarian who now really likes Trump because I just like that he pisses off the right people.
	The spaceman behind me is a former, he's a recovering Colombian who's also just a full-on Trump fanatic.
	Straight-up mega-sexual.
	Straight-up mega-sexual.
	All the way.
	And you know what?
	Oh, by the way, I didn't tell you this!
	That's one small step for this program.
	I will tell you one thing.
	I found out that I am 0.1% Sub-Saharan African.
	Really?
	step for this program. I will tell you one thing. I found out that I am 0.1%
	Yes.
	Sub-Saharan African. Really? Yes. Well actually it's 0.05% because my dad is 0.1%.
	So I think I'm about as African as Elizabeth Warren is.
	You could be white though, right?
	That sub-Saharan is just south of Sahara.
	Yeah, I know, but I like to think that... I didn't say black, I said African-American.
	I know, but you're trying to play the card.
	Well, Charlize Theron is more African-American than these people.
	That's true.
	Someone got mad that I tweeted out blacks, and I was like, hold on a second, not all these people are American who are nominated for awards tonight.
	Yeah, that's true.
	African-American, if they're black and from Britain, you dope.
	It's like Jamaican Scottish.
	That's been the biggest problem with social media.
	No one understands what context is anymore.
	Is that Laura Dern?
	Yes.
	She looks fantastic.
	Wow.
	I've never seen her look that pretty.
	And by the way, I'm not saying she's not a pretty woman, but she's aging very gracefully.
	And by the way, it doesn't look like she's had a lot of work done.
	No.
	Here's something, too.
	When people think that it's a chauvinistic business, it is.
	The entertainment industry is, because of the Weinsteins of the world, because of the people who you put up on these platforms.
	Most Americans look at Laura Dern and say, man, you look absolutely stunning here tonight.
	She's elegant, she's well put together.
	The people who say, hey, you need to get some work done to your face, you're starting to look a little old, are only the people in your industry.
	Yes, but see, there's the problem.
	The people who say that, or the people who give them jobs, the people who say, what you just said, vote for Donald Trump.
	Right, pretty much.
	I think we're going to have to, I think, I know we have Anne McElhinney and then we have Gavin McInnes.
	Tonight's show has just been, it's just been shot to hell.
	So I think we might just have to skip Anne McElhinney right now because Gavin McInnes I know has a hard time and if we can maybe get her later on, that would work.
	I'm trying to see here what we have.
	We also have Cortez, but not right now.
	I think we probably need to do a break before Cortez, because a lot of people haven't necessarily joined up yet.
	Before we go to the break, though, the next trivia question is, does someone have this?
	Again, my whole show map is completely screwed up.
	I'll take it for you real quick.
	What is Kamala Harris' favorite movie?
	Hold on one second.
	Before we go to the break, do we have some of the Yes, we're going to go to Twitter, by the way.
	Promo code CrowderOscars.
	You can use the hashtag CrowderAntiOscarsParty, but the promo code is CrowderOscars.
	You get $20 off if you join at Mug Club.
	People who are watching on Facebook, people who are watching this clip retroactively, our stream was taken down because it was probably the most popular Oscar stream going on here.
	Including the Oscar stream.
	Including the Oscar stream.
	So let's go right now.
	We have Too Cute Maddie.
	By the way, Lady Gaga is just so cute, it's disgusting.
	I threw up in her wig before she put it on and I dried it out.
	Did you not tell her?
	My voice is getting hoarse just from yelling.
	I was actually disappointed she didn't wear the meat dress.
	I know, well we couldn't afford it.
	We don't have the budget to get her an actual meat dress.
	And that's namely because Maximus the PA went to Whole Foods.
	He didn't go to Walmart.
	He could have done the Trader Joe's meat dress, but at that point it was too late.
	By the way, also, I'm incredibly uncomfortable because, this is a true story, before we go to Twitter here.
	My balls hurt.
	Let me explain this.
	I thought you were going to ease into that.
	I am wearing, this is, okay, look at how tight these are, right?
	No, it's not.
	I am wearing a size 38 waist.
	Let me show people this right here.
	Okay?
	This is a super, super, I don't know if you can see this.
	This is like the pedophile subway guy commercial.
	All right?
	But what happened is, it was so tight on my balls because I have a huge ass.
	And this is true.
	Huge, huge, disproportionately large.
	It's like a shelf.
	And speaking of your huge ass, let's go to Too Cute Maddie.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Hey.
	Crossing lines.
	That's messed up.
	What are you talking about?
	How is that crossing a line?
	I have no idea.
	Have you not watched this show?
	I'm pretty sure he's bisexual.
	He can't cross lines.
	I see the show most of the time.
	By the way, animated feature film, Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse 1.
	Oh, really?
	Yes.
	I won!
	Yes.
	Spider-Man, you're the winner.
	That was the best animated film.
	You know what?
	Tonight, nobody wins.
	I'm the winner.
	Everybody loses tonight.
	What was I saying before that?
	So, this is a true story.
	Your balls.
	Yeah, I asked actually someone to go out and get me briefs.
	Because what happens is this rides up and it's like a high tension cable wire right now on my gonads.
	I bet you I could hit Gaga's high note from Shallows.
	You probably could.
	And they were gone for three and a half hours.
	Couldn't find anything.
	You have the problem of them hurting, I have the problem of this hiding nothing.
	I can't stand up.
	Quarterback Garrett's a real trooper.
	Yes.
	Well, he's wearing a furry outfit, all right?
	He's probably going to have a great time after this show somewhere.
	He probably will, yeah.
	I can't fault him for that.
	That's absolutely disgusting.
	I hate that we even know what a furry is.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	Can I hear this audio real quick?
	He's pounding his fist.
	This world needs you.
	OK?
	This world needs you.
	So please, we're all counting on you.
	All right, drink, because I'm pretty sure we're going to go, but we have to bring it down.
	This is what I said before.
	A technical award for a Spider-Man cartoon.
	Yeah, we drank beer.
	I liked beer.
	Still like beer.
	Probably had too many beers.
	I thought that was him.
	That's a very long drinking bell.
	That's right.
	I thought that was him saying it.
	I did too for a second.
	Really?
	Just for a second.
	I got confused for a second.
	You'd be the whitest sounding black guy ever outside of Clarence Thomas.
	I think they just turned the lights off on him and didn't let him finish.
	Next guy up, no.
	You went for animated film and it wasn't even an actual Marvel film.
	Get off the stage.
	Alright, so we're going to go right now to see, let's see, you have these, bring up The Costume Contest.
	These are some nominees here tonight for Best Costume thus far.
	Let's see what we got.
	Who is that, Joe?
	Alright, so this is... I'll be watching... I'm sorry.
	This is Kara Sudahar-Bruda.
	I'll be watching tonight dressed as every network late-night host.
	I see what it did there.
	The same late-night host who removed our stream.
	That's right, those little bastards.
	Oh my gosh, by the way, I look like a porcelain doll, I'm so shiny.
	In case you guys couldn't tell when they removed our stream, we were panicking.
	You got fired up.
	They made us go, in the break, to take this, it's like a defensive driving course.
	Yes.
	They made us take this copyright course.
	So we did that tonight, during this commercial break.
	Quarterback Garrett, props to you.
	He did it within four minutes, well no, the video was four minutes.
	Yeah.
	The video was about five minutes.
	But everything else, he rattled them off, because you know, we've had this legal consultation here, like we've had Bill come in and tell them what they can and can't do.
	Quarterback Garrett did it all really quickly.
	He's like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
	I gotta watch a four minute video and click click click click click.
	He was like, Chip Douglas with a remote control, and then they still wouldn't let us stream anywhere!
	So I'm sitting there sweating.
	Hopefully we can get this back up, but you know what?
	Listen, it is what it is.
	Alright, let's go to more costume contests.
	Yeah, we got any more costumes coming up here?
	Alright, TolarPro77.
	I love all movies about the American Revolution, especially The Patriot and The Crossing.
	I wasn't quite sure, because I have a really small window here, and I thought that maybe... Wait, what song is this?
	No, this isn't our song.
	This isn't the song, this isn't the show?
	No.
	Well, that's your song, because you're the Gaga fan.
	Yes.
	Though it was introduced by Casey Musgraves, I thought I was watching the Grammys last week.
	And he also waited in line for Pitch Perfect 3.
	Suddenly these tight pants got a little bit tighter!
	It was just him in line.
	That movie aca-sucked.
	Oh my gosh.
	That's not the point!
	That joke.
	Oh, geez.
	He thinks he's saving face.
	Do we have any other costumes here?
	Okay, let's pick up a couple more costumes and we have some sign-ups.
	Alright, this is a nice one.
	That's not fair.
	No, take it off.
	The Kate Crusader is ready for the party!
	That's not fair.
	I don't like it when people use children.
	No, that's perfect!
	The kids could win!
	That ends up being like that conservative commentator who, like, supported, uh, don't, that's okay, we don't need to talk about who it is, who supported, uh, who hated Barack Obama, then supported Ted Cruz, then said Republicans were racist, supported, uh, Bernie Sanders, and now he supports Trump.
	I'm confused.
	I don't like people using children as a point.
	We have one more costume, I think.
	One more?
	No more kids.
	Oh, this one's a little rough.
	Is that Gavin?
	Oh, this is the same family.
	Wait, wait, what?
	Yes, same family posted this.
	Same name, Ed Cody Coons.
	We've got weird fans.
	A costume in honor of one of the great films that deserved to win an Oscar.
	What are you talking about?
	Braveheart?
	Yeah, Braveheart.
	Did Braveheart not win?
	I thought it got Best Picture.
	I think it did.
	I thought it was the Rowdy Roddy Piper story.
	I thought it won 5 Oscars as a matter of fact.
	Maybe 6.
	If you're going to protest, make sure you have it right.
	We actually did have a copyright strike against us.
	That actually happened.
	I am protesting until they erect a statue of William Wallace.
	It's right there.
	Do we have any more costumes?
	Maybe it was just in honor of him.
	We'll show one more costume and then one more sign up and then we'll go to the break and we'll come back with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
	Show me one more costume there, Gerald.
	One more costume.
	Henry Williams here.
	Best movie ever.
	Hashtag FullmetalJacket.
	The best 30 minutes of a movie ever is what I'll say.
	Well, you know what?
	Last year we had Adam Baldwin on the stream, who of course was in FullmetalJacket.
	And here's the thing.
	I don't really like FullmetalJacket, aside from the Lee Ernie portion.
	Dude, that's the best 30 minutes.
	I'm gonna cut off your ball so that you cannot infect the rest of the world!
	It is one of the best first 30 minutes of any film.
	And then the rest of the film isn't.
	You know what else films like that?
	Drive.
	I didn't see it.
	That was terrible.
	But the intro is unbelievable.
	The intro is unbelievable.
	It's like the best, I don't even know if you call it a chase, but it's the best sort of, I guess, I guess it's sort of like a chase film noir because it's hiding from the cops as they go by.
	It was so incredible.
	And then the rest of the film was terrible.
	I wouldn't say Full Metal Jacket was terrible, but the rest of Dry was terrible.
	It was boring compared to the first part in Full Metal Jacket.
	Yeah.
	The first part was amazing.
	Similar, Black Klan's been started off a lot stronger than it ended.
	Alright, we also have some promos.
	People who used the promo code here who joined up at MugClub.
	Let's bring one up.
	Boom, there we go.
	Finally joined Mug Club.
	It only took us being demonetized and our stream being taken down.
	Let's not focus on them being late.
	Let's focus that they got here.
	Well, hopefully they're not late, because that seemed like a guy.
	In which case, you know, we will take any trans fan.
	We'll take what we can get.
	Late.
	Man, female, trans.
	Late to the party.
	Foreshadowing.
	Let's go one more person who here took a leap this morning.
	Jim Devers.
	Is he trying to say Jim Devers?
	Devers.
	Devers?
	I don't know.
	Really enjoyed the work you guys created on his team.
	He took a leap this morning.
	Took a leap.
	Good for him.
	Thank you very much.
	Again, this will probably be up the next day.
	Hopefully.
	We have no idea.
	It's going to be a lot of work.
	But this is not live on YouTube right now.
	Only on Facebook.
	If you're watching on Instagram, go to the Facebook page to watch the actual stream.
	It's just my phone right now down there.
	It's totally makeshift.
	You can watch the full stream on Facebook.
	I don't even think you have to be a Facebook user.
	No, you can get in there.
	But my grandma uses Facebook, and she says, well, I mean, she did.
	She's dead.
	So it's distasteful for me to say that.
	That's true.
	It was something I used to talk about, how she, like, you know, would hand me, like, she'd forward, you know, like, the prairie dog balls and stuff like that.
	She actually had an office where she'd go, this is where I do my forwarding!
	I make sure that I set my alarm, I have my Fitbit vibrate for me to wake up, and I do my- Like, it was her full-time job.
	But she's dead now, so I shouldn't joke about that.
	By the way, this is also distasteful, but as you well know, Hopper has lymphoma cancer.
	He's actually been doing really well at responding to what we think we caught early.
	But I will say this.
	We wanted to cross the streams with the Daily Wire people today, and they wouldn't do it.
	They never had an Oscars stream last year, so we know whose book they're tearing a page from.
	And, I will say with Hopper, I did catch him drinking from the tumbler at one point.
	I'm not saying there's a direct connection!
	It's in the back.
	I'm not saying that the, I mean factually verified asbestos, I mean we did like a 23andMe on the tumbler, right?
	We took it to a third-party lab.
	I'm not saying that the asbestos gave my dog Hopper, your beloved Hopper, cancer, but I am saying That the Daily Wire gave my dog cancer.
	That's probably it.
	No, they did.
	While we're admitting things, a lot of people don't know this.
	You waited in line for Pitch Perfect 2 as well?
	Yeah, you know that I did.
	While we're bringing up Daily Wire Secrets, I actually gave Michael Knowles his start on a podcast and I want to say to America, I'm sorry.
	Oh, I see where you're going.
	I don't know, I think Michael Knowles, he's a good looking chap who seems like he's pretty sharp.
	He's no Andrew Glavin though.
	Well, no one's Andrew Klavan.
	That's true.
	There's only one.
	And you know what?
	I know for a fact that Andrew Klavan was upset about the fact that my dog got cancer from their asbestos-laden tumbler.
	Listen, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
	There's some great people there.
	Yes.
	They just cut the corners in the tumblers.
	Yeah, just throw out the tumbler.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I would love to, I would, you know, I would love to be working under the same roof with obviously Ben and Clavin and Michael and all those people there, but they do need to get their act together with the tumbler.
	It's not, first off, it's not hand etched.
	No, no.
	It's not hand etched.
	Check out this mug, this beautiful mug.
	They claim it's a 20 ounce tumbler.
	I think it's definitely not.
	I can't pour beer in it.
	And it gave my dog cancer.
	Look, and it's also made out of asbestos.
	I think that's a legitimate grievance.
	It is a grievance, yes.
	This mug guaranteed not to give any dogs cancer.
	Oh, no.
	Support ladder with credit.
	As a matter of fact, I only have Betty drink out of this mug.
	I mean, can we get a toast?
	Here's to not giving dogs cancer.
	Here's to not giving dogs cancer.
	I'm going to toast myself with two mugs.
	And by the way, thank you to all the well wishes and the thoughts and prayers with Hopper.
	He's doing very well.
	I wish that he hadn't gotten into the Tumblr, but you know what?
	Life is as it is.
	I don't even know what that means.
	We're going to come back after this brief break with the answer to the trivia question is what is Kamala Harris's favorite movie?
	Again, whoever gets this right or she claims to watch it every Saturday night.
	Seems like it, but she would claim to watch it on Saturday before it's Saturday.
	We're gonna go to a break.
	We're gonna come right back.
	Please let everyone know.
	We need you to let everyone on social media know that this is only available on Facebook.
	All right, Brodigan, just be quiet.
	We'll be back.
	For your consideration, for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Adam Sandler in Armistad.
	Yeah, I notice he's definitely more of a talented black guy.
	Yeah, he keeps on whipping the Negro.
	Would you stop with the damn whipping?!
	Have we a count of the pussyhat?
	We haven't made the final count, sir.
	I bring a message from your master, Dianne Feinstein, Commander of Feminists.
	By command of her most screeching excellency, your book deals are all but guaranteed!
	Your claims will not be questioned, nor subject to criminal review, and the wonderful celebrity of being a hashtag MeToo victim is all but yours on the single condition that you identify the rapist or serial flasher as the man called Brett Kavanaugh!
	I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	No, I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	No, it was me!
	I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	No, me!
	I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	No, I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	I was raped by Brett Kavanaugh!
	Brett Kavanaugh showed me his dick at a party!
	It could have been someone else's dick!
	I wasn't there when he raped me!
	Now, when was this?
	Why are you questioning survivors, brah?
	Now, are you ready?
	Mr. Coffee.
	Can you leave the light on, boss?
	I get a little scared being falsely accused of rape in the dark sometimes.
	And, uh, boss man, can you tell that nigga to wet the sponge?
	I could've got more.
	you I could've got more.
	I don't know if I just... I could've got more.
	Stephen.
	1,500 people will be filling the University of Michigan Power Center because of your show.
	Look at them.
	If I'd have gotten Hilo to Taurium, I'd throw away... so many names on a waiting list, you have no idea.
	If I'd have just pushed for Hill Auditorium... The school would never let you have the Hill Auditorium because of the things you did.
	I should have pushed harder.
	You pushed as hard as you could.
	I know, I know it's 3,900 seats, but...
	Maybe if I could have shown them the overflow.
	This screen.
	you This view of these ten boys at their college door.
	Ten more people.
	It would have been ten more people.
	This family, watching right now on Naroku.
	Four more people.
	We could've booked a second show.
	We could've filmed a second show!
	And I didn't!
	I didn't film a second show!
	I cannot continue the killing !
	Subscribe for more videos!
	Try the Walther.
	You'll be glad you did.
	All right, we are back but not really because we were banned from the YouTube.
	So we're back only on Facebook.
	With still more viewers than the Oscars.
	What's that music they're playing?
	I think we're on Facebook and maybe TALENT.
	Oh, Animated Short Film.
	I mean, who really even cares about the best animated film?
	You know it's gonna be Pixar, unless they didn't have a film that year in their framework.
	And then somebody else can finally win, yeah.
	By the way, a lot of people have been asking, we're going to, can you read the trivia answer by the way?
	Yeah, the trivia answer.
	Kamala Harris's film that she claims she watches every Saturday night, I think I actually know this one.
	Half-Baked.
	That one was not our best.
	Like her campaign right now, it's kind of a half-baked idea.
	No, I think the joke was racial.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	I thought I was just gonna tell a dad joke, and it was just gonna work like all dad jokes.
	So, here's the deal right now.
	Since this show has completely gone off the rails, and, um, man, look, there was already some beer in this mug.
	Now there's more.
	No, no, but the thing is, it can fit more than a full beer.
	Oh!
	Yeah.
	Yes, as opposed to the asbestos-laden tumbler.
	That's true.
	The asbestos-laden tumbler.
	You know, you're supposed to put on the illusion of drunkenness, Rodigan.
	Oh my gosh.
	You're the guy that goes to the office party, gets drunk, ends up naked on the table dancing, fires the next day.
	You should never drink at an office party.
	No, never do it.
	Unless you're going to my office party.
	Actually, hold on a second.
	Do we have our correspondent?
	We actually need to check back in right now live with our Black Panther correspondent from Wakanda.
	Are you there, sir?
	Welcome back, Steven!
	Welcome to Wakanda, where magic and technology meet.
	What does that mean?
	It's still pretty uneventful.
	Right.
	Back to you, Steven.
	Alright, we'll check back in with him later, and we'll see what... Interesting thing, Black Panther is picking up all the technical awards, which means they're gonna win none of the major awards, and everyone is racist.
	I don't think Black Panther was actually nominated for Best Visual Effects.
	No.
	I think last year, if I'm not mistaken, it was Fish Out of Water, obviously won Best Picture, and I think was also nominated for Visual Effects.
	That was what I would have given it to, would have been Visual Effects.
	They had sex with a lot of fish.
	I remember I was with Johnny Boy, the producer, I was in a hotel room in Los Angeles.
	I had watched most of it before the Oscars.
	I couldn't make it through.
	This year was Roma, and last year was Fish Out of Water.
	I couldn't make it through.
	And I was watching Fish out of water at a hotel room in Los Angeles on HBO.
	And I remember just yelling to John when he was in the shower saying, man, she really wants to have sex with this fish!
	Like, it wasn't like alluding to it.
	Or is it the shape of water?
	Oh, did I say fish out of water?
	You said the shape of water.
	The shape of water.
	I look at Kardashians winning an award.
	So what happened was, Um, I thought it'd be like, you know, I don't know, a do not, like the lady steps into the hotel room with the fish.
	Right.
	And, you know, it has a do not disturb sign up there or something, you know, there's a lens filter.
	No!
	The fish comes into the shower, we see her full frontal nudity, his fins grow, we find out how they mate, and he starts banging Buck naked on the bathroom floor, and there's just a montage of fish sex.
	Somebody describe that movie.
	Best short subject, period, end of sentence.
	It's a film about menstruation.
	Drink.
	Yeah, we have to drink a lot.
	This whole speech is actually finish your drink.
	Somebody was basically trying to tell me what that movie was about.
	How do you feel about bestiality?
	Are you asking about fish out of water?
	Yeah, no, not fish out of water.
	I thought you were talking about some of these women accepting the award.
	Not fish out of water, the shape of water.
	They were describing it to me.
	You're listening to a word that I'm saying because you were incredibly offended.
	I don't know, one out of ten words?
	That's pretty good.
	Let me hear it a little bit.
	I share this award with the feminist majority.
	Ah!
	Ah!
	Hey!
	I'm a woman.
	I liked beer.
	Still like beer.
	Probably had too many beers.
	Again, a technical award no one cares about, that's where the political messages come out of.
	Yep.
	Like, if Spike Lee wins director of the year...
	Hold on, let me hear all of the...
	What about teachers having sex with students?
	There we go.
	Oh, jeez.
	If Spike Lee wins director of the year, I honestly think he's going to be humble and appreciative,
	and save all the political messages for the third sound editing Academy Award.
	By the way, again, for those who are watching this on YouTube, we...
	We were banned today people who are watching this in post Are we what's that?
	Okay, give us, tell Gavin to hold five minutes, we'll call him in five minutes here because we actually have to talk with Cortez before Gavin.
	And before that, by the way, a lot of people have been asking, I have top five cigars, top five beers coming up soon here as a video in the show.
	Not today, sorry, I mean later on in this program.
	Think you can keep it down in there a little bit, huh?
	Stop faking the moon landing!
	If I had to pick one beer and one cigar for the rest of my life, because sometimes people ask me, I'm not paid by any of these people.
	I don't know, we'd probably be taken down on the reg if we actually had cigars as a sponsor.
	Oh yeah.
	If I could only have one beer, now why did I pick this?
	Before we get to Cortez.
	I picked this because you need a beer and a cigar that's balanced.
	So I need a beer that's affordable, a beer that has enough body, that has enough flavor that you can have in the winter, that you can have with a good meal, but also is, I think, quaffable?
	Is the term?
	It's quaffable.
	Quaffable.
	I don't know if that's a term.
	I think it works.
	I don't know.
	Quaffable is fine.
	I don't know because I've already had several of these, but my choice for the beer is Bell's Amber.
	Bell's Amber out of Michigan.
	It's my favorite overall beer.
	It doesn't mean it's my favorite beer, but overall if I have to pick one.
	And then as far as a cigar...
	Brickhouse.
	Just the Brickhouse Standard.
	They have three cigars.
	They have the Connecticut, the Standard, the Maduro.
	The Brickhouse Standard.
	Why?
	Because it's good.
	It's just in the middle.
	It's great in the morning.
	It's also strong enough to give you a little bit of kick if you have it later in the day.
	These two pair well together.
	If you're looking for a cigar that's $6, that's inexpensive but consistently rated highly, this is a fantastic cigar.
	Brickhouse.
	The quality is impeccable.
	Bells Amber.
	That's my number one beer and cigar.
	Nice.
	If I can only have one for the rest of my life.
	Le Fin du Monde, probably, for me.
	Love that beer.
	Really?
	Love that beer.
	I love the beer too, but if I could only have one?
	Well, I love it for summer.
	And I'm not going to drink a bunch of winter beers, I'm going to drink wine.
	That doesn't make a lot of sense at all.
	Do I get a favorite beer too?
	Yeah!
	Okay.
	This is a Long Island beer, the Great South Bay Bourbon Barreled Scotch Ale.
	Oh, okay.
	Bourbon Scotch.
	I think it's a horrible choice.
	Bourbon Barrel Scotch Ale.
	That's the only beer you can have?
	You want to have that at a star barbeque?
	That is my one-time favorite beer.
	Well, see, if I were to pick my favorite beer, it'd be Maudit.
	Maudit is amazing.
	But the point is, you only had to pick one.
	You guys did not understand the purpose of this segment.
	I picked La Fille du Monde!
	It works!
	I'm going to give you some leeway because YouTube has been destroying all of your livings, by the way.
	You're the first ones to get a pay cut.
	I think I'm off the list first.
	No, I mean, wait a second.
	If we're going for the beers I can afford now, perhaps.
	Let's go for the non-derailing.
	We have a congresswoman.
	I think we have her on.
	I'm not mistaken.
	I'm here to comment, actually, on the ongoings this evening.
	Is one of your congressmen, congresswoman, congressperson?
	Close enough.
	Do we have Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?
	Ms.
	Cortez, are you there?
	Okay, I'm not happy about it, Steven.
	Like, at all.
	Not happy?
	What's that?
	I think that, like, the fact that we're this far into the year, we're into the ceremony at the Oscars and no one has had the bravery to stand up for it.
	No.
	No, to demand justice for Jussie Smollett is everything wrong with this country.
	Okay, alright, but I think you need to understand.
	It's everything wrong with this country!
	Yeah, you know, I don't think that you actually understand with the Jussie Smollett situation.
	I mean, this entire industry is turning a blind eye to, like, a hate crime.
	It's not even like a hate crime.
	It is a hate crime!
	No, it's not.
	It's total, like... It's like a hate crime!
	Well, first of all, I think you're wrong about that, but I don't think you understand that with Smollett... You know what?
	You're vindictive of the greater problem happening right now on this planet!
	Wait, you mean lying?
	Are you gonna say racism?
	No, Steven, okay?
	I'm, like, talking about environmental discrimination!
	What?
	God, Steven, open your eyes!
	Open your eyes!
	That's the difference between you and me, okay?
	Is you walk through life with blinders on, but mine are, like, wide open.
	On that, yeah, I would agree.
	Wiiiiiide open.
	Right.
	It's like a proven fact that people of color are affected more by climate change than white males, and a portion of that... Yeah, yeah, I don't think that... Excuse me?
	Excuse me, let me finish.
	Don't man-terrupt.
	What's man-terrupt?
	It's like mansplaining, but interrupting.
	It's a new thing I'm getting started.
	Yeah, it's definitely not a thing.
	It's not a thing, Ms.
	Cortez.
	Silence!
	A portion of that is increased hate crimes in areas of economic disparity.
	Okay, but... Because of the climate.
	Because of the, let me finish... Okay, I'll let you finish, but... Changing climate, that's the key here.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	That's not actually... Oh, what, because I'm a woman?
	No, you're late to the party with your comments.
	What was that, a period joke?
	Because I said late.
	Late!
	Oh my God, that's not enough to man-terrupt.
	Now you're mansplaining your jokes?
	No, okay, here's the thing, Ms.
	Cortez.
	The whole story was false.
	It was a hoax.
	That's why we're talking about the... They're not honoring Smollett because it wasn't true.
	None of it was actually accurate.
	I think that's important for... No, but you know what, Steven?
	That's just like... That's just your truth.
	No, it's not my truth, Ms.
	Cortez.
	It's the truth.
	Maybe I just, like, come to a different conclusion.
	Okay, are you calling me... Oh.
	Are you calling me stupid?
	Yes.
	Yes, but it's irrelevant.
	The Jesse Smollett issue, Ms.
	Cortez, was a lie.
	And I think it's important for you... It was all made... This is the direct consequence of people not feeling heard, Steven!
	And if we all listened, people wouldn't have to scream to be heard!
	They wouldn't have to scream over the howls of climate change!
	There are no howls of climate change.
	And in 12 years, they won't be able to scream at all!
	Okay, you know what?
	I think we've had enough.
	I think we're gonna have to let Ms.
	Cortez go.
	Oh, don't you dare!
	Don't you dare hang up on me because I'm a woman!
	Don't you dare ming up on me!
	Alright, I've had enough with the man puns.
	Here's what I don't get, though.
	I mean, all the money she's making... A lot?
	A lot.
	I don't get a lot, but all the money she's making as a congresswoman now, you'd think she could afford some electrolysis.
	Hold on one second.
	Let me hear what he's saying.
	He seems to be sermonizing here when he's doing this.
	Oh no, he's just foreign.
	I think we have up next, if I'm not mistaken, right?
	Do we have him ready or are we gonna call?
	We're gonna call him.
	Here's the one thing that you need to understand with Brodigan.
	While all of us are here trying to pace ourselves because the drinking game has gotten far out of control, he leaves during the break and takes a shot.
	He took a shot?
	I don't know what he did.
	I'm pretty sure he also was snorting heroin.
	You can snort heroin?
	Why is the guy from Narcos on here?
	He was good!
	Was he in Roma?
	No, he's introducing Roma, which, by the way, was a festering pile of corn-infested feces.
	Anyone who says that Roma was anything other than crap is like, oh, they shot it in black and white.
	There's nothing that happens, and the broad looks at the camera like 15 times.
	It couldn't possibly be worse.
	I think we have him live.
	Gavin McInnes, are you there, sir?
	I'm here.
	I've got it set up a little better.
	Okay, well you're live right now because this stream's gone to crap.
	It's okay, it's okay.
	But don't worry.
	Don't worry about it.
	We love you, buddy.
	They banned us on YouTube with a copyright strike.
	Yes.
	Yeah, what happened with that?
	Well, I have no idea.
	Your guess is as good as mine.
	But the reason they banned us was because they claim that it's a violation of copyright in that we're watching the Oscars and commentating on it.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah.
	And our show's better than theirs.
	We would wager that it's because, you know, 40,000 people were watching and then it got shut down manually by someone who actually looked at the stream and made it a hard strike.
	But, you know, we don't... We're just... It's a hunch right now, Gavin.
	You know, none of this would happen in Wakanda.
	In Wakanda, everything would be copyright free, everyone would agree to disagree.
	Also, it's the place where magic and science meet, Gavin.
	Which apparently, you could use a little bit of the Wakanda fairy dust because we can't get your video going here, but right now it's like calling into a radio station.
	Have you seen any of the films up for nomination tonight, Gavin?
	Uh, I think so.
	Okay.
	Black Klansman, did you see that?
	No, I actually resent that film with unmitigated contempt.
	Because they make it seem like Donald Trump and David Duke are best buds, whereas David Duke actually hates Donald Trump and calls him a Semitic shill?
	Also, the guy didn't join the KKK.
	He called the KKK, and then some white guy had to risk his life.
	Finishing what the black guy started.
	Right.
	All you did was make a prank call.
	And then send Adam Driver in there.
	And what's so funny is when they send him in, there's this, you know, it's the kind of racist that you don't see in real life.
	And he's like, Hey, you there, buddy.
	Are you a Jew?
	I was like, well, yeah.
	What tipped you off?
	It's Adam Driver.
	It's the most Jewish Star Wars character let alone Darth Vader you could possibly imagine and it's just so the whole thing then they end the film by the way in case you didn't see it they actually at one point in the film Black Klansman it was actually pretty good I would say it's one of Spike Lee's better films but that's not saying much what was that film with Ed Norton was it the 11th hour the 25th hour American History X
	No, no, I'm talking about you're drunk. Go home. What I'm talking about is the film with Ed Norton from Spike
	It was terrible. Anyway, I haven't seen a single good Spike Lee film
	Sorry, no, it wasn't no Gavin damn it brought again on a serious front
	I've talked to people who saw that film and at the very end in the theater
	There was they showed Charlottesville. They showed Heather Heyer being killed and
	There was a real Disturbing sense of animosity between blacks and whites and
	what Spike Lee Sorry, Spike Jones did
	No, it is Spike Lee.
	You were right the first time.
	I got it right the first time.
	What Spike Lee did with that film is he set us all back and he brought animosity back to the forefront of the American discourse just to make a buck.
	And he's got these stupid Klansman pins on his shirt and his hat at this award ceremony.
	And we had moved past that so many decades ago, and he's so happy to bring us back to that, to bring us back to the 40s.
	Well, I think they don't understand, and this is what I was talking about earlier, Gavin, everyone watches this and goes, hey, all right, they're taking down the Klan.
	Great.
	Everyone who voted for Trump.
	Great, the Klan.
	I can't say everyone, but most people, nearly all people, certainly people watching this program, are going, hey, great, go ahead, take down the KKK, awesome.
	In the same film, they're talking about the Black Panthers, where they're telling people to arm themselves, For the, uh, the insurrection.
	Everyone's watching it going, yep, we want to do away with violence and politics.
	The only person who doesn't seem to understand it is Spike Lee.
	And they even say, they even, in the film, like, it's this, uh, it's this, uh, implicate, what do they say?
	We all want to return America to its greatness again.
	And then they end with David Duke complimenting Donald Trump, and then Donald Trump talking about Charlottesville.
	I went to Twitter while I was watching the film going, David Duke is insulting Donald Trump right now!
	He says he's owned by the Jews because of Jared Kushner right now!
	Yeah, yeah.
	David Duke.
	It's amazing that, like, David Duke is so happy that he's been so successful in, you know, renting space in the left's brain.
	Free of charge for so long.
	He doesn't do anything.
	He does Preacher Curls now.
	He wrote a bunch of books about 20 years ago, and they still keep talking about him.
	He covers the discourse in a ubiquitous tsunami.
	That's a good point.
	So we shouldn't even talk about him right now, but he does know how to get the peak to his bicep with the Preacher Curls.
	I've seen that footer display picture.
	Did you see The Favorite?
	Did you see Stars Born?
	Did you see Bohemian Rhapsody?
	Have you seen any of the nominees?
	I actually have my son, Johnny, watch it all.
	He's going to be delivering his point.
	John, what do you think about Star is Born?
	Good movie, bad movie?
	Wait, what?
	Star is Born, what do you think?
	What's Star is Born?
	It's a movie.
	Do you think Lady Gaga was good in it?
	No.
	I didn't even see it.
	They're doing that right now.
	Okay.
	What about the other guy, Bradley Cooper?
	Do you think he was good in it?
	Wait, what?
	Bradley Cooper, was he good?
	It sounds like two drunk people at this point.
	You didn't give him any of your king of beers, did you, Gavin?
	One second, hold on, Gavin.
	We're gonna just listen to, really quickly, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga ripping it.
	Hold on one second.
	Here she comes.
	Here she comes!
	Is she good?
	It was actually a pretty good film.
	I know you're sending it.
	Hold on, let's see if she hits the high note.
	Hold on, turn down Gavin real quick.
	Gavin, just one second.
	We want to see if she gets the high note because everyone's wondering this tonight.
	That comes in a little bit.
	Nope.
	Oh, there you go.
	Here's a good example.
	We just talked about this.
	Let's turn down the Oscars and bring back Gavin McInnes.
	I don't like McInnes.
	I don't like Lady Gaga's politics.
	Right.
	But that is an unbelievably talented woman.
	Absolutely.
	She's incredibly talented.
	Fantastic job.
	Gavin, what are your thoughts?
	Well, I'm secretly gay, so I love Lady Gaga.
	Wait, I'm confused.
	Well, here's the thing.
	You don't have to be gay to appreciate she's a good singer.
	Like, for example, I'm not gay, but if I were gay, I would acknowledge that Cher sucks.
	Yes.
	Yeah, I... I don't know.
	I don't know what you're talking about, Steven.
	Alright, okay.
	I'm gonna watch Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga right now, singing this song.
	I feel the same way I feel about my dog, Leroy.
	Zero.
	Okay, I see what he's doing there because he doesn't like dogs.
	He doesn't like dogs, the Gavin McInnes.
	Thank you, Gavin!
	DefendGavin.com.
	I don't like dogs or musicals or gays.
	They don't exist to me.
	Alright, DefendGavin.com.
	Let's act like that interview didn't take place after, I don't know, about 14 Budweisers.
	But we appreciate DefendGavin.com.
	Is he gone?
	Did we lose him?
	He's still on.
	Gavin, we gotta go, brother, because we're running late since we had to restart the stream, but thank you for making the time to get out here, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the stream.
	Sorry we couldn't do video.
	It's okay, we appreciate it, and you know what?
	I think at this point... Can I just make one note on the performance right now?
	Yeah.
	Because, I mean, we're not listening to it, we can only go by the body language while we had Gavin on.
	There is no way that Bradley Cooper did not break up Lady Gaga with her fiancé.
	You really think so?
	I'm wondering if that happened too.
	Seriously.
	I'm staring at them right now.
	There is no way that they're not stooping right now.
	You know what the sad thing is about Bradley Cooper?
	He gained all that weight for American Sniper and he's never been able to lose it from his face.
	What's happening right now?
	It doesn't matter.
	Just ignore it.
	If you just ignore it for long enough, they'll go away.
	Don't give them the coverage they want.
	Stop ruining things, Gerald Morgan.
	The issue here is Bradley Cooper gained the weight for Chris Kyle.
	Would you shut up?
	Could you please go back to your meth den?
	You know what?
	We're going to go to a break here.
	Let's go to a break.
	We'll come back and hopefully things will be a little better off in there.
	Let's go to a break.
	We'll be right back after this.
	Tell everyone on social media to tune in on Facebook because they banned us from YouTube.
	Go!
	Quarter Black, go!
	For your consideration for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Gilbert Godfrey in 12 Years a Slave.
	Holy shit!
	I'm a f***ing slave!
	🎵 Louder with Crowder Shop dot com
	Supporting free speech since two thousand and something With people being banned from social media left and right, you can now purchase this de-platform-this limited edition LouderWithCrowderShop.com t-shirt, signifying your insubordinance to authority, and request for them to kiss your ass and lick your butt.
	Plot it with PradaShop.com today!
	Now then, can you identify the man who raped you?
	Most certainly would!
	Right yonder!
	Tom, would you stand up please?
	Let's have a good long look at you.
	Tom, would you catch this please?
	Well then.
	Good enough for me.
	Okay.
	Probably guilty.
	I rest my case.
	I sentence you to... Wait, wait, Mr. Finch!
	I didn't rape that girl!
	I didn't!
	Now, hold on, everyone.
	Hold on.
	Just hold on.
	Are you certain this is the man who raped you?
	Sure as he's black as pitch!
	Well, then, that settles it.
	Guilty as said.
	Wait, wait, no!
	Mr. Finch, no!
	No, I wasn't even there that night!
	My hand didn't even work, you know this!
	Tom, do you mean to tell me that you're...
	Questioning a survivor?
	That's a bunch of pure baloney and you know it!
	Don't I deserve a fair trial?
	It's supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, right?
	Black lives matter too now, you know?
	Yes, at one moment in time that may have been true, but now we have to believe all women, period.
	I'm sorry, Tom.
	There's nothing I can do.
	Everyone be quiet!
	Mr. Finch, come back!
	Don't do this to me!
	Now you're saying this man raped you?
	Yes, your honor!
	Guilty!
	You know I didn't do it!
	You don't have the authority to do this!
	What about jury of my peers?
	I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.
	She said you did it.
	Crime!
	Next up!
	The People vs. Clarence Thomas!
	The People vs. Clarence Thomas!
	Every day when you watch our YouTube feed Every video that you see
	Has been demonetized just for you And I say, hey!
	You two can go screw yourself today All the censorship's real gay And this next word has to be It's a simple message, and it comes from the heart.
	Big Tech can hit sell.
	That would be a great place to start.
	And I say, hey!
	You two can go screw yourself today.
	All your censorship's real gay.
	And this next word has to be... Go de-platform all of these... Go de-platform all of these... Hey!
	It's JW!
	SJW!
	Hey!
	Whaaaaa!
	Ugh!
	I just want to, you know, laugh about things every night, but...
	God bless abortions and God bless America!
	Aaaaaah!
	you Bye.
	Ugh!
	Bill Cosby says that being declared a sexually violent predator is going to damage his reputation.
	Not available for comment were all the women that he raped.
	Ah, sh**!
	Hello, this is Canada.
	Dim Sum time!
	It doesn't stop here.
	It's a one-way.
	Why? It doesn't stop.
	All right, guys, welcome back.
	If this couldn't be any more embarrassing from where I normally sit, Stephen thought, hey, this is going to be a great idea for me to come out here and sit and you can see me in this entire suit.
	And by the way, you're lucky I have my legs crossed right now.
	Let me just say that very clearly.
	Why are your legs crossed?
	What do you mean, why are my legs crossed?
	Yeah.
	I could sit here with my hands over specific areas of my body, but I feel like that's not a great idea.
	That's not typically how the show goes.
	By the way, I think I need to lose some weight if I'm ever gonna wear one of these again.
	Like, I need to slim down just a little bit.
	All I know, your legs were uncrossed before.
	We literally got four me two strikes, which is funny because we...
	We only have two girls working on the staff streams now.
	Yeah, that's true.
	I think somebody may have called the strike in from our staff because I wasn't covered up appropriately.
	Wait, is that why we're banned from YouTube?
	Probably why.
	Because of your thingy down there?
	Alright, so I just want you guys to know something.
	When we first decided to do this, Steven actually had assigned costumes.
	I was supposed to be in Steven's costume tonight, and he was supposed to be in this costume, which is fantastic.
	Would have been great.
	As I showed up, they're like, by the way, You need to go ahead and get in costume.
	I said, look, it's two hours before we're going to go on.
	What do you want me to get in costume for?
	And they said, it's changed.
	You're now the trophy.
	I was like, you've got to be kidding me.
	The funny thing is, I randomly bumped into him and his fiancée, who surprisingly enough is not a dude.
	Yeah, she does exist.
	She does exist.
	She's fantastic.
	At Target, and I told him, I think they settled that you're going to be Freddie Mercury and Stevie's going to be in gold.
	It was supposed to be the way things happen, but anyway, like, tonight's supposed to go... He's clutching his pearls.
	What is this cross thing he's clutching?
	That's the way things happen.
	We're supposed to be on YouTube right now.
	We are supposed to be on YouTube right now.
	We're on Facebook.
	If you know anybody, put it out there, guys.
	Hashtag crowd or anti-Oscar party.
	Oh, Captain Marvel, I get it.
	Captain Marvel guys coming up.
	That's the white girl.
	Hashtag.
	I said hashtag.
	I said the hashtag.
	I was trying to point to the hashtag.
	You gotta do it.
	Hashtag Crowder Anti-Oscars Party.
	Crowder Anti-Oscars Party.
	Look, I think, I just have some animosity.
	Before he kicks me out, before he kicks, don't, don't do it, okay?
	People, people want the trophy.
	They don't want you, they want the trophy.
	What's happening?
	No, you can sit here.
	Okay, I changed my mind.
	Get out.
	I'm not moving now!
	You can go sit in my chair.
	No.
	Not gonna do it.
	Is this real?
	Is this Peanuts?
	Are you gonna move the ball on me?
	Is that what's happening right now?
	Yes.
	Hold on a second, because I actually... Hey, can I say something, by the way?
	Oh, man!
	It's your show!
	Go ahead, man.
	This is so much more relaxing, this seat here.
	It really is.
	I don't have the lights.
	Alright, and you're gay!
	Sorry, we're gonna go back to the show that we're talking about right now.
	Original screenplay, it's much more interesting.
	What's the next trivia question, by the way?
	Too Cute Maddie?
	The next one is, uh, what is Bill and Hillary Clinton's favorite movie?
	No!
	I thought we were on Bernie Sanders.
	I have no idea.
	Again, for those who don't know, lotto.com slash Mug Club if you want to help us fight against being demonetized.
	Yeah.
	Uncross your legs or you'll be fired.
	Okay, then I'm fired.
	This is my last show.
	By the way, I don't like to be vulgar with money, but we were well on our way to this being by far the most watched stream.
	So everybody in here gets a $250 check just because YouTube screwed with us.
	F you, YouTube!
	Thank you, YouTube!
	By the way, that's not being moved around from any other staffers.
	That is coming directly, unlike Cortez.
	It's got taxpayer dollars.
	Is this the Green New Deal?
	Speaking of New Deal, can someone, I don't know if we can get Maximus the PA, you guys are disgusting.
	So we've had to rush to commercial breaks.
	Women, did you, Abby and Too Cute Maddie, did you notice the toilet?
	The splatter on there is like a crime scene.
	Guys, someone clean that up, it's disgusting.
	I didn't do it, it wasn't me!
	Really, you didn't do it?
	You've been peeing like you've had an erection for nine hours.
	It's going in every which direction.
	You're getting it on the painting.
	You can't predict it!
	It goes right, it goes left.
	You're getting it on the Mohammed painting, the Bob Ross Mohammed painting.
	There's a thing where it splits and it's two streams, man.
	Hey, you know what?
	I think I can do this here.
	Before we bring up Kumia, do we have any more Twitter stuff?
	By the way, my eyes look really glassy.
	It's not because I've only had one and a half beers.
	I was just crying a lot.
	Is it just me or do I feel like this lighting is way more flattering?
	Okay, let's see the winners of the by the way my eyes look really glassy
	It's not because I've only had one and a half beers. I was just crying a lot. Yeah
	It's stressful. It's just me or do I feel like this lighting is way more flattering
	I feel like I look like I got smooth skin. It makes you look good. It makes me look well
	No, it makes you look bad.
	I've always been jealous of how you look.
	It's because you don't have the shark hunting lights on your face.
	It's method acting.
	You just look like you have AIDS.
	I do.
	Yeah, I do look like I have AIDS.
	A lot of people were confused at the Live Aid concert.
	They thought it was a Live AIDS concert.
	And now it's actually every other Freddie Mercury concert.
	Really, the green room.
	Um, okay.
	Let's go to some of the best contests.
	They're from Too Cute Maddie, who's so disgusting.
	She makes me throw up.
	She's so cute.
	And even is Lady Gaga.
	What is this?
	That is incredibly racist.
	This comes from Nkwazi, currently streaming Crowder Anti-Oscars Party from South Africa.
	Oh, yes!
	That's Wakanda forever.
	That's pretty damn good.
	Good for you.
	Um, but you know what?
	I'm not entirely sure if that's going to lead to another apartheid state.
	Oh, yeah.
	Wakanda?
	No, that guy's picture.
	But she's streaming from South Africa.
	Wait, was that a she?
	No, that wasn't a she, because there was a nipple.
	What?
	Was that a woman?
	What?
	That's a woman!
	They're breasts!
	Oh!
	Here's the thing, I wasn't used to looking at this monitor so small, I thought I saw guy nipple.
	Oh.
	That's just the tank top.
	We're sorry.
	Gosh, I hope not.
	Okay, that's just the tank top.
	Alright, let's 2Q Matty, let's bring up another one.
	This is Do You Like Huey Lewis and the News?
	and a very creepy picture with what appears to be a non-prop knife from Bruce Dunne.
	Anti-Oscars party.
	You're supposed to tape over the edge, right?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I think he's been watching the wrong Christian Bale film.
	That one's not nominated this year.
	I'm scared to turn around right now.
	Let's go to the next costume here.
	Let's see what we've got.
	Did you not get the script?
	As Crowder, in honor of it, I'm dressing up as Harvey Weinstein.
	Nice.
	It's just a guy with a cigar and a shirt and a tie.
	That's a very lazy costume.
	It looks like it's Tuesday night.
	Hey, correct me if I'm mistaken, that looks, again I'm looking at a really small monitor here, looks like a Buonaventura cigar.
	Oh.
	Tell me what it is, I can't see from here.
	If you nailed that, that's pretty impressive by the way.
	Well, it has that kind of semi-box press look to it.
	That's what she said.
	Do we have more, Maddie, do we have costumes or do we have joint... Okay, let's bring up two more.
	By the way, can we bring up the answer to the trivia?
	See, the answer to the trivia is, what is Bill Clinton and Hillary's favorite film, favorite movie, which, right here, yeah, the answer?
	Natural Born Killers.
	Makes sense!
	Natural Born Killers.
	Big fans, I understand that.
	Yeah, you know, they got really mad when it got a bad rap, you know, after Columbine.
	That's true, yeah.
	So they couldn't admit it.
	But once they left office, they could say, you know, Natural Born Killers is really our speed, because, you know, Hillary Clinton killed a guy.
	Also, she tried to nail someone shut in the governor's mansion.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Spike Lee just won an award.
	Best adapted screenplay, I think.
	I mean, do we have to listen to him, or can we just drink?
	They awarded Black Klamzman because he's a black man, even though Spike Lee sucks.
	Spike Lee really sucks.
	I like his gold shoes.
	I'm pretty sure he's a fag.
	Um, it's just a guess.
	Can you say that on stream?
	I don't think we can say it.
	We're gonna have to bleep that, apparently.
	But I can say it because of who I am right now.
	Yes, I mean, can you get heart strikes on Facebook?
	Is that a thing now?
	You can get hard.
	Yeah, you can just get hard, but then again, you usually take that over to Snapchat.
	You just get zucked, essentially.
	Alright, let's see.
	We have one more costume, you said there, too cute, Matty?
	Let's see, next costume here is... Oh, how's this?
	You know what?
	Nick.
	Now, I assume that that Nick is a man.
	Because I've been getting the sex wrong all night.
	Well, look, the Doniker is showing, so yeah, that's gotta be a guy.
	Yeah, you know, he's not ashamed.
	I don't know what you're hiding.
	Listen, Chief, it's just...
	And we have a couple of joinees.
	Can we just rattle off the new joinees, by the way?
	The promo code is CrowderOscars.
	Look, JustRick, thank you for joining.
	Just because of what ABC did to Steven and the fact that he's just effin' awesome.
	And then we have a few more.
	GGriffon, we have about three.
	Thank you so much to people who have joined again.
	This is how everyone here makes a living.
	Disney's copyright strike really angered me.
	I followed S. Crowder.
	Here's the thing, you know, I appreciate it, but I really wish it didn't require anger for a lot of people.
	We really appreciate you joining.
	What I'm telling you is that if it requires anger, we'll be gone.
	We'll be gone before you get mad enough.
	If we have to wait until all of you get mad enough, we won't exist anymore.
	The show doesn't need to stop with this infighting, and I like this person, but I don't like this person, and this isn't perfect.
	Listen, do you understand the gauge of the barrel of the gun you're staring down right now?
	They want to destroy all of us.
	Not just us, Jim Norton, Nick DiPaolo, Anthony Comea, who will be on very soon.
	These people don't care if you're right, center-right, libertarian, MAGA.
	They don't care.
	They want to get rid of all of you.
	And we want to make sure that we're a thorn in their side, so we're still on their social media platforms.
	And, you know, let's switch here, Gerald.
	Let me finish this rant over there.
	And three, two... Hide the junk!
	Hide the junk!
	While we're switching, if I can get a refill from the back?
	Yeah.
	Rodigan wants to get a refill from the back because it's not terrible enough if you run a blacklight over the bathroom right now.
	Do you realize that everyone here could just fake yort?
	They don't even need a DNA scraper.
	They could just run a swab over the rim of that toilet.
	That is most likely my fault.
	He doesn't even remember.
	On a scale from 1 to, you know, you're as drunk as ABC is angry with our numbers, how schnocker would you say you are?
	Honestly, maybe a 4, but if we're keeping up the gimmicks, because I'm a drunk, he's a quarter black, he likes wine and highway rest stops, I'm about a 25 here.
	I'm sensing some animosity there.
	A little bit.
	I mean, rest stops?
	Are we gonna act as... No, I'm saying, he thinks, like, listen, we love you as a drunk, Brodigan.
	Yes.
	You're like, uh, what was it, what was my dad's, uh, uh, my dad's, the guy, the Irish neighbor, the old boxer, he used to pet his dog, Rebel, he'd say.
	I quote this on the show, I don't love ya.
	I don't love ya.
	What's his name?
	Was his name John Brodigan?
	Hey, we actually, uh... I think, uh... We have here, uh... P.A.
	Maximus.
	Maximus of P.A.
	Who are you wearing, uh... P.A.
	Maximus?
	Yeah, okay, that's gonna surprise me.
	Hey, could you do me a favor, P.A.
	Maximus?
	Could you toss this?
	And that way I can just fill this with, um... With this beer afterwards?
	You can drink it!
	You wanna chug it?
	P.A.
	Maximus!
	Get it!
	Look, look!
	He's gonna chug the rest of my beer!
	Chug!
	Go, go, go, go, go, go!
	It's not done until you pour this.
	You have to pour my beer as well.
	Oh my gosh, this is terrible.
	A spoonful of hops makes the medicine go down.
	By the way, you're the only one not getting the $250.
	I'll give him mine.
	I'll give him mine.
	No, don't give him yours.
	He has to learn.
	He has to learn.
	Oh, no, there's still the sediment.
	No, actually, PA Maximus, by the way, has really helped make a lot of this happen.
	We decided to reward him by humiliating him horribly.
	On camera.
	By the way, who played it better, Clint Howard or Maximus the PA for Susan Wojcicki?
	What's your Twitter there?
	Maximus, do you have a picture or are you still using my?
	Can we can we turn down some of the music for cried out loud?
	I don't know can we can you guys hear him in your headphones by the way?
	We got nothing on okay come here Maximus come here. What were you saying?
	The PA is my Twitter account and And remember, I told you the first thing, I don't want to be in a dress.
	I know.
	That was the first thing.
	I know.
	But the thing is, you're a PA.
	But I'm more confused as to why you sound like Bobcat Goldwaite.
	You never sound the other way.
	I don't want to be in a dress!
	Well, you can go slowly in the bathroom.
	Just go and please rub some salt.
	That's who was peeing!
	Rub some salt on the rim there so nobody slips.
	To answer your question, Clint Howard, I always saw Clint Howard.
	Maximus actually plays a very convincing, unattractive woman.
	That's a compliment.
	I actually, yeah, and that's because of the Mayan heritage.
	I mean, let's be honest here.
	If he takes off that hat, that's a head that should be rolling down a pyramid somewhere.
	Yeah.
	It really should.
	He was born in the right time.
	That's a heart that should be taken out as a sacrifice to the sun.
	Still beating, my friend.
	You know, the Mayans, the Native Americans, the Landbridge theory, they're very hairless.
	I've seen him without his shirt.
	Yeah.
	Naturally.
	Mainly because that's when he was hosing down the bathroom.
	I am not.
	It's mainly Brodigan, but Maximus the PA also did it.
	It wasn't me, I promise.
	But he's been a real trooper there, Maximus the PA.
	I mean, you know, we'll make sure that he's paid significantly lower than minimum wage.
	Good, good, good.
	Way below.
	Of course.
	He's basically a glorified intern.
	Right.
	PA means intern.
	Yeah, you know what?
	I actually think we should reduce his salary.
	It's probably too high.
	What are they doing?
	They're doing an orchestra pit?
	We don't need to hear this right now.
	These people just are absolutely awful.
	Are you happy for Spike Lee or not?
	Before we get to Anthony Cumia here, I think, Garrett, do you have the best and worst movies of 2018?
	I do.
	Okay, so best and worst.
	Did we all have our best and worst films of 2018?
	I think so, yeah.
	Yes, we did.
	All right, Gerald, who goes first there, quarter black Garrett?
	Wakanda.
	We'll go with Gerald.
	You gotta put it up.
	I don't remember all these by heart.
	So I'm the only one here who's, hold on, is that?
	Oh, no wait, I was gonna say, is that Nick Cannon?
	No.
	But I know it's the Black Panther guy.
	No, it's the Black Panther guy.
	Okay, it's not all black people look alike, but does he look slightly like Nick Cannon?
	A little bit, yes.
	Come on, let's be honest.
	It's actually down the street.
	I don't confuse him with the peel from King Peel.
	That's racist, but you're correct.
	No, no, that's not Jordan Peele, that's Keel.
	Key.
	Dammit.
	That is... I'm half Jordan.
	How is that possible?
	Your body doesn't absorb alcohol like this.
	No, I'm just very tired, and the rage at ABC Disney has been consuming me.
	Michael B. Jordan.
	And he's sitting too close to me.
	Michael B. Jordan, yes.
	No, I love Broadway.
	Hold on, let's see, what's this category here?
	Score.
	Score.
	Okay.
	I like movie scores, but whatever.
	I mean, that's why we watch the Grammys.
	There you go.
	And by the way, nobody watches the Grammys.
	No, no.
	Even fewer people than the Oscars.
	The best performance, to me, that I've ever seen from the Oscars, live music performance, I've talked about this on the show, Elliot Smith, Miss Misery.
	By the way, Celine Dion did a great job.
	She did My Heart Will Go On, and she's a great singer.
	Don't get me wrong.
	But what happened is she went out, she had all these, not pyrotechnics, but she had this wonderful stage show, and Elliot Smith goes out, it's Good Will Hunting, an original soundtrack, mostly came from Elliot Smith that year.
	And he comes out, can we turn that down a little bit?
	He comes out in a white, ill-fitting suit.
	And it wasn't a gimmick, by the way.
	It wasn't like the audio slave guy who's like, I'm gonna look tough, but not really.
	And he came out and he sang Miss Misery.
	If you haven't seen it, search for it on YouTube right now, because you can't watch us.
	And he's singing Miss Misery.
	It's this haunting, beautiful voice.
	Absolutely.
	And I'm not a conspiracy theorist guy, but I don't think he killed himself, but I don't think most people kill themselves by stabbing themselves twice in the chest.
	Probably not.
	That's iffy.
	Twice in the chest, and his girlfriend was in the room when he did it, allegedly.
	I mean, I don't want to do the whole Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain, but you know the Elliott Smith story.
	It is fishy.
	And look, that's always the thing with a lot of these performances, because they put so much production into them, when it's literally just something stripped down, it totally stands out.
	Right.
	Like, I mean, watching the Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper performance, with the exception that Bradley Cooper was clearly eyestopping her, like, while she's on the piano.
	A little bit.
	A little bit.
	The fact that they were just playing piano, it was probably a very moving performance.
	Yeah.
	Compared to the other ones.
	We just couldn't show it.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Because of YouTube's jerks.
	By the way, again, bring up the stream next to us right now, because we can't show it.
	Oh, is this a...
	Spot the Tranny?
	I thought we cut that.
	Apparently it got brought back.
	Are we playing Spot the Tranny?
	Because that's a tranny.
	He looks like Spot the Tranny had sex with Willard.
	We're the Rats.
	You ever see when Dirty Work, Chris Farley, was doing a Willard parody with the Skunks?
	He's like, RISE MY MINIONS!
	It's just Chris Farley.
	Talk about a guy who was all in.
	Oh yeah, every time.
	That's still a funny show, Dirty Work.
	Alright, let's go to the favorite movies.
	Gerald, your best and worst films.
	Again, I'm the only one who's seen all of the films here nominated tonight except for Green Book.
	You're best and worst fiction.
	Alright, you gotta bring up that overlay, guys.
	I gotta see the list.
	Okay, so one of the best that I liked was A Quiet Place, for sure.
	I loved that movie, especially in the theaters.
	Another one, um, I... No, no, that's worse.
	What the hell?
	Ocean's 8?
	That was my worst.
	Yeah, no, that was his best.
	That was my worst.
	Well, yeah, Ocean's 8 is his best.
	No, I had it as my worst!
	Well, here's the thing.
	We only get one.
	He's the only one that gets five.
	Oh, okay, alright.
	So that's my best, and then Ocean's 8 was my worst.
	Okay, Ocean's 8 was your worst.
	And I even saw that with my fiancée, and she didn't like it either.
	Oh, good way to fit it in there, mister, wearing gold, uh, gold, gold.
	He's a giant gold condom.
	Less than two months, baby.
	Less than two months.
	I can hear Betty barking in the next room because we were doing this whole thing tonight.
	Now that's the other Black Panther guy, correct?
	No, that is THE Black Panther.
	He's the cooler one.
	So who's the other one?
	Michael B. Jordan.
	He was the enemy.
	No, it's Michael B. Jordan.
	The Black Panther's brother?
	No, he was the guy that was the villain.
	I'm so confused.
	Listen, I know they don't look alike, but I'm confused as to who played who.
	Were there two Panthers who were black?
	Yes.
	So I'm not wrong about that.
	No, the good Black Panther is this guy.
	The other guy that was trying to beat him, basically, and take his kingdom away from him.
	But he was also a pan-Black Panther.
	Yes, he ended up becoming one too.
	Oh, okay, so good.
	So it's not racist.
	Okay, we were betting on your worst movie there, Broughton.
	Alright, so my best movie was The Star Is Born.
	Right.
	My worst movie, I honestly did not see enough movies to have a worst movie, but considering I'm a huge Star Wars fan and the commercials for Solo look so bad, I didn't bother going to see it.
	Can you say so bad again?
	So bad.
	Gosh, you used to run political campaigns?
	For a job interview I'd be like, hey, how good do you think this campaign is gonna be?
	It's gonna be badass.
	You sound like Eric's Jewish cousin.
	Again, I was running political campaigns in New York.
	I actually fit in.
	I can't remember what my best films were, honestly.
	What was my best film?
	Transformers 5.
	No, stop it.
	My best film was what there?
	Bohemian Rhapsody.
	Do I just get one good and one the worst?
	So far, I mean.
	That's what we have overlays for.
	What did I list as the worst one?
	Was it Black Panther?
	Lady Gaga won.
	Yeah, that was mine.
	Black Panther sucks.
	Lady Gaga won?
	That's right, you have one too, Quarterback.
	I'm sorry, I'm just really lost.
	What was your best film and worst film?
	Best film is Ballad of Buster Scruggs.
	Anthology.
	I was disappointed.
	I liked the first couple of stories, but then when it got to Liam Neeson throwing the quadriplegic into the ravine.
	That was probably the lowest one.
	What qualifies a ravine versus a river?
	Do you know?
	I think it's the cliffs.
	So you got cliffs on the sides, and then there's a river at the bottom.
	That makes it a ravine?
	That's a ravine.
	It's not like, it's not about, uh, about width?
	Like, there's gotta be some kind of standard to this.
	Someone tweet me at S. Crowder and you'll get a free t-shirt.
	How does, uh, when does a river qualify as a ravine?
	Oh wait, is this Best Actress?
	Or no, Best Score?
	Best Score.
	Still Best Score.
	No, Best Original Song.
	Best Original Song.
	Well deserved from Lady Guest.
	Yeah, that was by far the best.
	Actually, can I ask you a question about Bohemian Rhapsody?
	Yeah.
	Were you a Queen fan?
	Or like a big enough fan of the music?
	I like Queen.
	I mean, I wouldn't say I'm the super fan who goes, well, the best stuff is off the B-side.
	I've listened to mainly the radio hits.
	All right, because the thing I'm wondering, especially when biopics like that get so popular.
	That's OK.
	We don't need to hear her speak.
	She's better singing or sometimes to look at.
	I mean, I've always been a huge Queen fan, but I'm wondering how many people who weren't fans of the music at all actually enjoyed the movie.
	I didn't know if he was lip-syncing.
	Here's the thing, I thought that Rami Malek deserved Best Actor until I realized that he was lip-syncing.
	Oh, really?
	Oh yeah, he was.
	That's what someone told me.
	He was lip-syncing, but it wasn't actually him.
	They showed it earlier in the show.
	That would have been great if he wasn't.
	So, I would give it to Stars Born.
	I will say this.
	They got it right with a lot of films, in the sense that Stars Born was a great film.
	Yes.
	Bohemian Rhapsody was a great film.
	Definitely some of the best of the year.
	The Favourite was a great film.
	Really profane to people out there watching.
	Except for that one scene.
	But it was still a great film.
	Really funny.
	And I think they used GoPros in there, because they use a fisheye lens, but it clearly has a different light sensor.
	Then they have Black Panther in there, and I'm just going like, listen.
	Yeah.
	This is the academy that ridicules and mocks Americans for liking Marvel films.
	And by the way, I do too.
	I don't really like the Marvel films that much.
	That being said, at least I'm consistent.
	They're basic.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	The issue here is they go, oh, hold on a second.
	Because we've added an element to it that is black, and I'm not going to say African-American because this is just an African, it's just African-African.
	Well, yeah, it's about Africa.
	It's about fake Africa.
	Well, that's true.
	It's about Wakanda in Africa.
	Wakanda forever, man.
	It's about Wakanda.
	When I see someone with a plasma spear on top of a Tesla, I'm sitting there going, like, what is this?
	It's pure, unadulterated trash.
	I could not stand the movie.
	And I would say, though, that I couldn't stand a lot of the Marvel films.
	I didn't like Wonder Woman.
	And I would put it on par with that, but those didn't get nominated for Best Movie.
	Did Wonder Woman get nominated for Best Film?
	No.
	No.
	No way.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	What are they presenting right now?
	What's going on there, Producer Tim?
	The people who died.
	People who died is what they're talking about.
	Is Ruth Bader Ginsburg in there?
	No.
	She's not officially dead.
	I'm pretty sure she's more dead than they're letting on.
	That's my issue here.
	If you go on Reddit or certain live streams, she may actually be dead.
	By the way, we're having trouble bringing on guests?
	Is that what we're hearing?
	Okay, so that's okay.
	Alright, so we have Anthony Cumia, and then after that, and if we don't, well then let's see what we're going to do with the rest of this program.
	What else do we have to get to here?
	Not much, I mean, that's another award.
	We have Nick Sirse and Macalini.
	We've got one more award.
	Oh, we have one more award?
	Yeah.
	On the show?
	One of our shows.
	Oh, that's right.
	We do have one more award.
	I forgot about this.
	What is this?
	This is an award.
	We have our Lotta Ruth Crowder Awards here, actually.
	And right now, we have... Can we get a drum roll going here?
	Oh, geez.
	Hopper.
	Hello.
	You just scared the life out of me.
	Okay.
	Best Actress.
	Lotta Ruth Crowder's Annual Awards.
	Best Actress in a Leading Role.
	Best Actress in a Leading Role.
	Actually, I don't have it right here in the envelope.
	This is actually the shtick that the actor's supposed to read.
	Can someone else give me who has the envelope?
	Does anyone know who the Best Actress in a Leading Role is?
	I know!
	Who's the Best Actress in a Leading Role?
	Christine Blasey Ford!
	Christine Blasey Ford!
	Nice job!
	Congratulations!
	Do we have that?
	This is Dr. Christy Ford's first Lauderworth Crowder Award win and nomination.
	Though she has been nominated for several dozen acting awards in the past and has amassed several felonies.
	Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter.
	The uproarious laughter.
	That's bad.
	By the way, let's get back to that.
	Do we not get forward?
	What's going on here?
	We can't hear you.
	Just talk into the mic.
	Lean down.
	That's the award.
	You gotta present the award.
	we not get forward what's going on here we can't we can't no what you can just
	talk just talk into the mic lean down that's the award yeah you got to present
	the award all right unfortunately but Reynolds was on I'm sorry could you
	please shut up love you unfortunately Christine Blasey Ford is actually here
	although she doesn't know how she got here what seats she's in nor can anybody
	verify that she actually saw her here.
	I heard she was here.
	Yeah, on her behalf.
	Spoons full of sugar, mixed up medicine, go down.
	That's why he's still a PA.
	That's gonna hurt.
	Could you imagine though, we didn't want to talk about the uptalk, but the hippocampus, could you imagine if she were actually, is she a doctor of psychology?
	She's not a psychiatrist, right?
	Yeah, I think so.
	No, I think she's a psychologist.
	Psychologist is different, yeah.
	I don't know if she can write prescriptions, but either way if you walk in she's like, you know, I think like Freud said, you want to have sex with your mother.
	What?
	Do you remember when... I think you're gay.
	I really do not feel... What are you doing with the audio?
	Please stop!
	Come on now!
	Alright, what were you about to say there, Gerald?
	Sarah Palin.
	Remember when she was made fun of?
	Rightfully so.
	She sounded a little bit like that, and so the left made fun... Fine, that's fair game.
	It didn't happen at all.
	No, I know.
	And she was ten times worse.
	She sounded functionally retarded.
	Sarah Palin says he's a maverick, and she sends up that thing... Sarah Palin put it on, though, too.
	It was disingenuous.
	She did, she did.
	I wasn't a fan of Sarah Palin.
	I know you weren't a fan of that, either.
	I wasn't.
	I met Sarah Palin.
	I like Sarah Palin.
	In my personal interactions... But it should be even.
	But when she did that, remember that reality show, and she's like, ah, I'm hunting.
	I'm like, you clearly have never hunted a day in your life.
	By the way, I didn't mean you actually had to stop speaking.
	I was just joking.
	Because he was trying to, you were competing over the microphone.
	You never want to compete.
	And you're drunk.
	And you're drunk.
	But we love you.
	There's a lot of people that are dying here.
	This is really sad.
	I'm doing quite well.
	I've been having a good time not watching the Oscars.
	Right now let me hold on a second. I'm going through this whole show Matt because this whole thing has gone to crap
	since ABC Disney banned our stream damn. We almost have Nick Searcy
	we have no he's on he's on he's on all right Mr. Searcy at yes Nick Searcy you can go to Gosnell movie
	comm he was in that film which will not be nominated How are you mr. Searcy?
	Well our stream got taken down So we were at we were doing our stream just like last year
	and that once all of a sudden we hit You know the 40,000 mark all of a sudden they hit us with a
	hard copyright strike Because as you know we're clearly just pirating the Oscar
	stream and not adding anything to it What are you smoking there, Nick Sirsi?
	This is an Iguana Candela cigar at the Lonsdale.
	It's sort of a milder cigar.
	It's more of a breakfast cigar.
	I just thought your white balance was off.
	You know what?
	I'm not a huge fan of the Candela rappers, but I know they're coming back now.
	They're a bit of a trend.
	I like the Candelas because they're delicate.
	They're sensitive.
	You know, and out here in Hollywood, that's important.
	Right, yes, exactly.
	But if you smoke a cigar out there in Hollywood, oh my gosh, they will excoriate you.
	If you smoke a joint in their face, they'll think you're the second coming of Christ.
	But smoke a cigar... Yes, cigars cause cancer!
	By the way, we're not so focused on the AIDS.
	We kind of celebrate it.
	But the secondhand smoke, that's our primary cause right now.
	That's true.
	I actually went into a pot store out there for the first time since it's been legalized.
	And it's pretty fascinating.
	Yeah.
	The most fascinating thing was that Montel Williams had his own feed.
	Huh?
	Really?
	Montel Williams?
	It's funny, he used to sell juicers.
	Now he's selling bud?
	Yeah, he's selling buds now.
	It's pretty fascinating.
	Nothing like perpetuating the original stereotype, huh there Montel?
	What a jump.
	I'm sorry Mr. Williams.
	You know, there's going to be a story of him getting pulled over by a cop, and him telling them, like, no, this is my own weed.
	Like, we know that you think it's your own weed.
	Like, no, it's my own brand, officer.
	Like, aren't you the guy who sold us a juicer?
	You were the black Jack LaLanne, and now you're selling purple kush?
	What's happening?
	Nick, seriously, what is your favorite film for the year?
	Have you seen most of the films nominated this year?
	No.
	I tend to only watch Oscar-nominated films that I actually appear in.
	Right.
	I didn't appear many this year.
	I watched two last year.
	You were nominated for two. For people who don't remember, go back and watch the last year's livestream that was not
	At one.
	taken down.
	You were in three billboards over Ebbing, Missouri.
	And, uh, you were also in, uh, I want to say Fish Out of Water. Shape of Water. I keep saying Fish Out of Water.
	But, you know.
	Yeah.
	One.
	It's true.
	I think it's absolutely the best, best picture of all time because you know why.
	I'm not a fan, Nick.
	I thought you were good in it.
	I wasn't a fan of the film.
	I didn't want to say it last year because I didn't want to steal your thunder and I thought I was gonna win.
	But I gotta tell ya, there was a lot of fish sex.
	I don't care.
	Best speaker of all time, because I was in it.
	When you read the script, did everyone go like, oh, that's the scene in this one.
	That's it.
	Did you know when you read the script, because Guillermo del Toro, he always puts in a shockingly violent scene.
	Like in Pan's Labyrinth where he breaks the bottle on the guy's orbital.
	When you read the script, did everyone go like, oh that's the scene in this one. That's it. Could you tell?
	It's funny that you assume that I read the script.
	I didn't really...
	I thought it was going to be like a Creature of the Black Lagoon movie with sex in it.
	Right, yeah.
	It was like the Creature of the Black Lagoon, if it were a porno.
	What is your pick for best movie of the year?
	E. Tom and Fay Wray got it on.
	Here's the thing, it wasn't suggestive, Nick.
	It wasn't like, oh, do not disturb, and there's a billowing curtain.
	It's like a fish going, here's my fish dick.
	Yeah, well, you know, it's the modern age.
	We want to see that.
	Do you like cod?
	I'm more of a halibut girl.
	Oh, me too, me too, me too.
	Nick, Mr. Searcy.
	Because we're respectful on this show.
	There's no reason for it to be banned.
	What's your pick for favorite film of this year?
	Don't say Guys Now Movie.
	GuysNowMovie.com.
	We get it.
	But what else?
	Roma.
	Oh my god!
	Son of a... I just talked about how... Really?
	It's gonna win.
	But is it your favorite film of the year?
	Of the ones that I saw, it's probably the only one that I actually see.
	I did see that.
	I did see Bohemian Rhapsody.
	I don't think that's Best Picture.
	I did see that. I did see Bohemian Rhapsody.
	I don't think that's the best picture.
	No, no, no. I mean, what is your favorite film of the year, though?
	We now know what you think will win, but what was your favorite movie of this year?
	It couldn't be Roma. Please don't tell me it was Roma.
	You know, I've got to say, I like that Molly McCarthy movie.
	The one about the...
	I can't remember the name of it.
	Oh, oh, can you ever forgive me?
	Yeah, I love that movie.
	I thought it was really good.
	Melissa McCarthy, but apparently to Nick, seriously, all white women look the same.
	I did like her.
	Really?
	What did you like?
	I usually think, I don't understand.
	What did you like about Roma?
	I don't get it.
	Nothing happens, and she looks at the camera like nine times.
	She's like, adonde esta?
	Adonde esta Sony FS7?
	No me gusta.
	I like the way Roma shot.
	And it's like, I think with Roma, You have to watch it at the right time.
	You need to watch it right after you get coffee at night.
	Or weed.
	If you kind of get used to the pace of it, it's beautifully done.
	I mean, that last shot where she goes into the ocean and saves the kids, that's an amazing shot.
	And it's one long five-minute film.
	Hold on a second. Hey, Sound Engineer Abbott, can you bring down the Oscar audio completely?
	Because I can't really hear Nick.
	I disagree with you, Mr. Searcy.
	I loathe the film.
	And it's the only film that I couldn't make it through, so I honestly didn't see that last shot.
	Well, see, then you don't know what you're talking about.
	That's true. That's fair.
	But there's one person here who's seen all of the films with the exception of Green Book.
	And that's just because... You know what it was with Green Book?
	I didn't get the screener, I know you get the screeners too, so I watched all of them because I'm doing this this stream obviously and Roma was on Netflix, but Green Book was only available to buy and I didn't, I have no idea, I have not seen the film, But I didn't want to get, you know, sort of swindled.
	I didn't want to pay money and find out that it was this leftist sort of, you know, screed of a script.
	So I wasn't willing to take the chance, just like, I need to see all the Michael Moore films, but I pay for another ticket and sneak in illegally.
	Right, right.
	I didn't see Green Book.
	Yeah, but I saw all the others.
	A Star is Born was great.
	The Favorite was great.
	I just, I don't get... Yeah, The Favorite was good, yes.
	It was, but it was really disgusting as well.
	I mean, when she's going down on the Queen with the sores, the open wounds on her leg, I'm sitting there watching this going like, this is a really disgusting scene.
	I know I'm homophobic for saying it, but I'm not, you know, I thought it was gross.
	That was my favorite.
	I can imagine.
	You and Jim Norton.
	Go on!
	All right.
	And then what was your least favorite film of the year there, Nick Sierci?
	Oh, gosh.
	Well, I don't know.
	I don't really watch that many movies anymore.
	I mostly watch documentaries, you know, because so much of it is predictable.
	And half the time I watch a movie, I go, they cast that guy.
	Why were they cheering Barbra Streisand?
	Can someone tweet me and let me know?
	That's Spike Lee cheering Barbra Streisand.
	Okay, drink, drink, sorry.
	Hold on, let's grab this audio real quick.
	Nick, seriously, hold on one second.
	Why were they cheering Barbra Streisand?
	Can someone tweet me and let me know?
	Spike Lee cheering Barbra Streisand, every time that happens, an angel gets its wings clipped.
	Spike Lee will...
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I think there's a little melanin factor there.
	A little bit.
	And he didn't win.
	First time.
	You know what?
	I hope he wins.
	Because I do like Spike Lee.
	I couldn't disagree with him more.
	You're almost like John Nolte.
	I think you're almost always wrong on your picks.
	Name me a good Spike Lee film.
	But I'm a professional, Steven.
	I know what I'm talking about.
	What's your favorite Spike Lee film?
	I would go and do the right thing.
	Oh, you basic b**ch!
	You basic vanilla pumpkin spice latte b**ch!
	I do like Summer of Sam.
	I do like Summer of Sam.
	But I'll tell you, in a nutshell, this is why I like Spike Lee films.
	It's because they're idiosyncratic because nobody can tell him what to do.
	He does whatever he wants.
	So when you see a Spike Lee movie, you're getting one person's vision.
	You're not getting a studio-created thing.
	But was the film the 11th hour or the 25th hour, the Spike Lee film with Ed Norton?
	You know the film I'm talking about?
	I think it was 25th hour, but did you ever hear the story about that?
	You know, Ed Norton is not particularly easy to work with, and he wanted to direct a specific scene.
	Have you heard this story?
	No.
	I think that this is from the 25th hour.
	I could be mistaken, but this is a notorious Edward Norton story.
	He was like, I want to direct this scene.
	I want it to happen this way.
	And so they said, all right, he's not going to stop until he gets it his way.
	So they let him direct the whole scene.
	And Spike Lee didn't put film in the camera.
	I can respect that.
	That's awesome.
	He does it his way, and that's... Whether you like it or not, at least it's his vision.
	No, I appreciate that.
	I just think that his vision sucks.
	All right, it is at, yes, Nick Searcy, GosnellMovie.com, and that's available, of course, on Amazon right now.
	You can go get it.
	Yeah, Nick, what were you gonna say?
	I wanna say one more thing.
	You know, instead of watching Oscars every year, I always just go on Team America.
	Except last year, because, you know, you're a self-gratifying pumpkin spice latte-drinking basic bitch.
	But they didn't even invite me, so I don't care.
	I can't figure it out, can you?
	I have no idea.
	Before you get rid of me, I gotta show you one thing about how I feel about the Oscars.
	Can I do that?
	I have no idea.
	You know, I don't want to play the race card, but I'm pretty sure it's because you're a diverse adoptive father.
	I want to show you, before you get rid of me, I've got to show you one thing about how I feel about the Oscars.
	Can I do that?
	It depends. We've already been banned from YouTube and I don't...
	Okay, alright, that's fair.
	This is what I think about the Oscars.
	Did you have this queued up, Nick?
	Oh wow!
	Oh my gosh!
	Well played.
	Nick Searcy is my favorite actor of all time.
	Don't watch the Oscars, watch this.
	By the way, right now Willem Dafoe is on screen with a Russian fur hat and a bandage, like a Civil War bandage, and he looks creepier than Team America.
	A little bit.
	I will say that.
	Yes, Nick Searcy on the Twitter.
	Thank you so much for joining us, sir.
	I appreciate it.
	Enjoy your Team America film.
	You know who gave Willem Dafoe that hat, don't you?
	Putin!
	Vladimir Putin!
	All right, I see what you did there.
	I don't agree with you.
	I think that's another... I think you got that one wrong.
	Nick, seriously, you must go.
	Thank you, sir.
	We appreciate it.
	Of course, it's GosnellMovie.com.
	Yes.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	What is this, Best Actor?
	Best Actor, yeah.
	All right, let's watch this a little bit.
	We have to watch a little bit.
	Okay, call it.
	Who wins?
	That guy.
	I forgot his name.
	I call Remy Malek.
	Everyone here seems to think it's Rami Malek.
	I don't think it's Rami.
	I think it's Bradley Cooper.
	It's Rami.
	Bradley Cooper.
	By the way, he's American.
	Did you know that?
	Really?
	A lot of people thought he was British.
	You think it's Bradley Cooper?
	I think it's Bradley Cooper.
	I do not think it's Bradley Cooper.
	I don't think he'll win, but I think he probably deserves it.
	I'm going Rami.
	We're not asking who you think deserves it.
	This is about betting on who you think will win.
	Oh, if I had to place money on it?
	Rami.
	Hey, isn't that the guy who said the N-word and then everyone got really mad at him when he was saying, like, you know, for example, we shouldn't say the N-word anymore.
	Yes.
	And they just clipped it?
	I'm trying to burp off camera here.
	Alright, hold on, let's see.
	Who wins?
	We all think Rami.
	Oh, Gary Oldman, one of the best actors ever, also conservative.
	Ah, yes.
	Who knew?
	Alright, there is some justice.
	Look at him.
	Good for him.
	Hey, that's a far cry from Freddie Mercury.
	He's like, trust me guys, I'm straight.
	And that's the actress who played Freddie Mercury's beard.
	I just played a gay guy.
	Oh, is that the actress who played Freddie Mercury?
	That's the actress from the film?
	That's not his wife?
	I can't see.
	I don't know if it's his wife or not, but she definitely looks like the actress who played the beard.
	Microphone, Brodigan.
	You gotta get that mic back, buddy.
	Good lord.
	He's gonna say a scale from a scale from one to ten.
	I'm only about a four by the way What's what's a microphone?
	I don't know why you sound like Tony Clifton.
	I was about to say Tony Clifton.
	That's nice.
	I like this guy.
	So she might have been a beard.
	I'm not gay.
	This is a very nice speech.
	see me do anything.
	He's not, but I think he's looking down on me right now.
	So this is a very nice speech.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	One, I'm so appreciative to all of you, to everyone who has had a hand in getting me here
	to the Academy.
	Because he just talked about his deceased father, I'm not going to make a joke about giving me a hand at the Oscars.
	No.
	You're going to give him a pass.
	It's rife with Weinstein material.
	Yes.
	If he does it again, though.
	He gets a pass.
	One more.
	Look, Adam Lambert, he's like, are we sure he's not one of us?
	Did we miscast him?
	Crossing my fingers.
	Thank you, Queen.
	Thank you, guys, for being... Thank you, Queen.
	That guy has the wig like the Queen.
	That's his actual hair.
	I know.
	Him and Howard Stern are the only guys his age who have that actual hair.
	It's remarkable.
	Yeah.
	It's an anti-Semite's worst nightmare.
	See the hair coming a mile away.
	And my cast, I love you.
	You are my equals, you are my betters.
	I could have never been here without you.
	They're saying, well if I'm your equal, why didn't I get an award?
	I didn't get paid like your equal.
	What the hell happened?
	What went wrong?
	I'm looking for my trophy.
	What it would have been like to tell little Bubba Rami that one day this might happen to him, and I think his curly-haired little mind would be blown.
	You're gonna let that one go, Steven?
	I'm gonna let all of us go because this guy is being a class act right now and I think we need more folks like him.
	Yeah, it's true.
	He's actually humbled.
	Uh, drink!
	See, I told you!
	Son of a gun!
	An immigrant who's...
	Uh, drink!
	No, see I told you!
	Son of a gun!
	...apologize for himself.
	Oh shoot, I just spilled it all over my show mat.
	...celebrating him...
	And this story with you tonight is proof that we're longing for stories like this.
	Drink.
	I have nothing left but.
	Immigrants from Egypt, I'm a first generation.
	Immigrant again, son of a gun.
	Maximus the PA, you need to bring in Brodigan some more beer.
	Ready the Uber.
	This is why I Ubered.
	Also the DUI.
	That too?
	What are you looking for there?
	What do you want in there?
	Whatever they bring me would be fine.
	Have you had any of the Dragon's Milk Stouts?
	That's kind of a tradition here.
	Is it too late?
	Can you get me a dragon milk stout or what is that?
	Whatever you have is fine.
	Hold on a second.
	Is someone else going to have that beer?
	Because you need to have the dragon's milk stout.
	That's a tradition here.
	We always have.
	Does the astronaut want the beer?
	Okay, bring that to the astronaut.
	The spaceman who is faking the moon landing behind us as we speak.
	CJ Craig!
	Right.
	I love it.
	Listen man, do your research.
	The flag wouldn't blow.
	There's no wind on the moon.
	Dorks.
	There's no wind on the moon!
	Do we have Anthony Cumia or Anne McElhinney?
	It's a tradition.
	Oh man.
	Actress?
	Not yet.
	We've got a minute.
	We have one more.
	And then we have, who do we have?
	Do we have Anthony Cumia or Anne McElhaney?
	Who do we have coming up next?
	We're going to try Cumia again.
	Okay, let's do this.
	Try Cumia.
	Let's go to a break, guys.
	Everyone on social media, let everyone know that they can watch the Oscars live stream on our Facebook page.
	We've been banned from YouTube.
	We're going to go to a break.
	Again, we have some more for you to consider.
	People have been complaining about the cultural appropriation this year.
	I don't see it.
	We'll be right back after this short break.
	Let everybody know.
	Oh, wait, hold on a second.
	We do have a trivia.
	We do have a trivia.
	What's the next trivia question here?
	Oh, what is Joe Biden's favorite movie?
	If you get it right, you're not going to get this one right.
	I have no doubt that no one's going to get this right.
	You get bragging rights.
	If you get this right, we will personally break into Nick Searcy's house.
	Steal an Oscar.
	Okay.
	I don't know if they gave him one for Fish Head.
	I don't think he has one.
	No.
	I think he puts it on a little more than he's asked.
	Shape of water!
	Shape of water.
	I don't care.
	Damn you, Crowder!
	It's a fish sex movie, and we will give it to you if you get this trivia question right.
	We're gonna go to break.
	We'll be right back after this.
	For your consideration for Best Actor in a Leading Role, Al Pacino in Malcolm X. These are the questions!
	You and I need to ask.
	How did you get this mind?
	You are not an American.
	You are an African who happens to be American.
	You gotta understand the difference.
	We didn't come over here on the Nina, the Pinta, the Centum, or whatever you call it.
	We didn't land on Plymouth Rock.
	Plymouth Rock landed right on us.
	Right on our big ass!
	louderwithproudershop.com is now selling baseball teams in red, blue, and ash.
	Get yours at ladderwithcrottershop.com today!
	You wanna read?
	Why?
	Have you, uh, had any experience with that?
	Twelve years at YouTube, I've seen some pretty awful s***.
	You had any experience with that?
	What do you mean, personally?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I have.
	It's never good.
	My boss at YouTube was an alcoholic.
	I mean, f***ing drunk.
	She used to come in hammered, looking to whale on somebody so I'd provoke her.
	Hoping she wouldn't go after the smaller channels.
	Interesting nights were when she just finished watching Vox.
	Yeah, they used to just outright demonetize our videos.
	Until they realized that violating public single-party consent laws could cause more damage.
	Then there was this one time this tranny complained that we filmed him without permission at a public town hall while he's advocating f*ing pumping kids full of g* and puberty blockers.
	YouTube execs gave us the choice to blur every face in the whole f***ing video or said we could just skip the time and have it outright removed.
	Said choose.
	Well, I'd have to go with just removing it there, Vanna.
	Nah, we went with blurring all the faces.
	Why?
	Because f*** them, that's why.
	And your cop received a heart strike anyway.
	So what is it?
	Crowder's got some kind of rebellion complex or something?
	Some kind of a f***ing general problem with authority?
	Is that why you have to put a half-Asian lawyer on retainer full-time?
	I didn't know you had.
	Yeah, well, I did.
	You wanna talk about it?
	No.
	Hey, Crowder.
	I don't know a lot.
	But you see this?
	All this s***.
	The demonetization, the heart strikes, the video removals, the policies.
	It's not your fault.
	Yeah, I know that.
	Look at me, son.
	It's not your fault.
	I know.
	No.
	It's not your fault.
	I know.
	No.
	No, you don't.
	It's not your fault.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	It's not your fault.
	Don't f**k with me!
	It's not me, not you!
	Don't f**k with me!
	It's not your fault.
	I'm sorry.
	Yay, more jaws!
	That's all folks!
	See you next week!
	And we are back!
	Not really.
	We're only back on the Facebook because we've been banned from the YouTube.
	Right now they're doing... Are they doing Best Director?
	Are they doing Best Actress?
	They're just showing a clip of the Green Book.
	The Green Book.
	That guy must be really cold with the beanie.
	Yeah.
	It's helpful.
	I think they're doing Best Actress right now.
	Or he's in a Ricky Iglesias video that's dropping pretty soon.
	I am interested in seeing what Best Actress is.
	Please let us know who you think should win Best Actress.
	Let me hear this really quickly.
	I'll go with Lady Gaga.
	Sam Rockwell.
	Really liked Sam Rockwell in all of his films except I didn't think he did a great job as George W. Bush.
	I don't like Josh Brolin.
	I think he did a good job.
	Let me hear what they're presenting here.
	Best Actress in a Leading Role.
	Let's just hear it a little bit.
	This is the one from Roma who looks at the camera 19 times.
	Watch the clips they show this year.
	This is how you know that these are weak categories.
	Look at this.
	Compare this with, again, uh, I mean, compare it with, like, Natalie Wood.
	Or, uh, compare it with, uh, I hate to say it, but Monique in Precious.
	Yeah, that was one where she's like, just hand her the Oscar.
	She's laying on a sundial.
	That couldn't have been the best part of the movie.
	If that was the best part of the movie, you'd suck.
	I like to do laundry because I'm the maid.
	The maid?
	What was that?
	I am the maid and I like to do laundry and I have to clean up dog shit.
	The whole film is just her cleaning up dog crap.
	Then she thinks she's pregnant.
	There is a guy doing martial arts.
	Have you seen?
	Roma?
	No.
	There's a guy doing full frontal nudity.
	Pecker, Balls, or as broad as I can pronounce him, Balls.
	Balls?
	Balls Pecker, he takes a shower curtain rod and he's doing martial arts.
	Really?
	And it goes on for like a minute and a half.
	But we're supposed to go like, oh this is incredible because it's black and white.
	It's just a naked guy doing fake kung fu.
	But I repeat myself, all kung fu is fake.
	The Queen did a very good job here in The Favourite.
	I was going to say Unforgiven, because it's another F film.
	She did a very good job.
	Lady Gaga was very good as well.
	I don't know if she has to win.
	She was a better singer than she really was an actress in the film, but she was surprisingly good.
	Yeah, but that was such a big part.
	I've got to say, Lady Gaga is actually very beautiful when she's not a Lady Gaga, though.
	It's true.
	Yeah, that's true.
	This is one thing, the only people who are telling you that you can't be natural, it's your industry, Hollywood.
	When you talk about these unrealistic beauty standards, everyone in the country was saying, man, Lady Gaga's actually really pretty when she's not looking, when she's not trying so hard, this affected I am who I am.
	No, listen.
	The meat dress is not your essence, okay?
	It's a gimmick that you're pushing, let's be honest.
	It's not genuinely you.
	It's something that someone else told you would generate some magazine subscriptions.
	And it did.
	And everyone in the country goes, man, Lady Gaga looks great when she looks natural.
	We really like her.
	It's the industry that tells her she has to be a certain way.
	And it took me a little while to actually figure out that's who it was.
	Oscar goes to...
	Good!
	That's good.
	I really thought they were going to give it to the camera looker.
	You know what it is?
	I didn't see the movie.
	I really liked her in Poor Church.
	Is that Harvey Weinstein?
	Oh really?
	I liked her in Hot Fuzz.
	Was she in Hot Fuzz?
	She was in Hot Fuzz.
	I didn't really like Hot Fuzz.
	Hot Fuzz sucked.
	I liked Shaun of the Dead.
	I thought Hot Fuzz was very overrated.
	I agree.
	Hot Fuzz was very overrated.
	Shaun of the Dead was excellent.
	Shaun of the Dead was excellent.
	Hot Fuzz was okay.
	In my opinion.
	It was Transformers 3.
	And the third movie they made, I forget the name of it.
	At World's End.
	At World's End.
	I didn't mind that.
	The bar scenes were fun.
	What the hell is going on behind me?
	No wonder people think you faked the moon landing.
	By the way, we have the trivia answer.
	We have the trivia answer, by the way.
	You know the trivia answer.
	Joe Biden's favorite film?
	You wrote it!
	Was it Lolita?
	What is it?
	Joe Biden's favorite film?
	I think it's, what is it?
	It's a tie between Lolita and kids.
	Is kids a film?
	I think it's just the children.
	Is it like Bay Bay's Kids or which kids are we talking about?
	I don't know.
	I don't like that one.
	That's the only one that I didn't have time.
	I didn't put a spritz on it.
	This trivia.
	What is Bernie Sanders' favorite film of all time?
	Can we bring that up?
	Bernie Sanders' favorite film of all time.
	Tweet us right now.
	We have best director.
	How long do we have to give them?
	We don't have Anthony Cumia, do we?
	We don't have Anthony Cumia, okay.
	Are we having problems with... Well, you know what?
	I think, actually, are we ready to play?
	Ready to play.
	You know, the one game that we have tonight?
	What do you think?
	I'm talking about Clue.
	I got it ready.
	It's time to play the Oscars edition of Spot the Tranny.
	This is Lerner and Crowder's anti-Oscars party edition of Spot the Tranny.
	Am I to understand that just as soon as we decided we're playing Spot the Tranny, people here are talking that we have Anthony Cumia?
	I think we have someone.
	I don't care who we have, we already moved on.
	Close the damn door, you're letting the draft in.
	I just see a hand through the door, like the hand in Are You Afraid of the Dark, the intro.
	Um, the Oscars edition of Spot the Tranny.
	We can turn down the Oscars a little bit.
	Spot the Tranny.
	Alright, Quarter Black Garrett, let's bring this up here first.
	I'm the reigning champion.
	I've never lost.
	What do you think?
	Oh, come on.
	That's just a Photoshop where you put a bald cap on somebody.
	Not a Photoshop.
	Not a Photoshop?
	Isn't that Britney Spears?
	Not a Photoshop.
	I'm going to say not a tranny.
	That's just someone with a horrible scalp condition.
	Tranny.
	I'll go not a tranny.
	Tranny.
	I say no.
	What is it?
	It is...
	That one is, your guess, is as good as mine.
	Well, that doesn't seem like that's right.
	Doesn't seem like it's very helpful.
	Alright, let's go on to the next one.
	I don't think we were supposed to go to the most difficult one right off the bat.
	There's supposed to be an arc to this Court of Black game.
	Here we go, here we go.
	Rodigan just has a dragon's milk stout.
	You think he has a snowball's chance in hell of getting this?
	No.
	Can you even see the monitor?
	I can, it's right there.
	You're pointing at me!
	You're pointing at Gerald.
	Let the record show that the monitor is in fact not Gerald.
	Alright, next one.
	Let's see this.
	As long as the sound is going out so everyone else can play along, you let us know.
	Alright, next one.
	That's a dude.
	Not a Photoshop. These all seem like glam shots.
	That's a dude.
	No, hold on a second. Let me know, Edis Crowder, what you guys think.
	I gotta say, with this, it's not the obvious answer.
	It's like Norm MacDonald in the Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
	The Million Dollar Question.
	I think all of... You say dude, you say dude.
	Just because, to me, it's so clearly obviously a dude.
	Just like Americans so clearly do not want to see a fish sex film,
	I think it's gonna zig when we think it's going to zag.
	I say it's a transsexual. What is the answer there, Cordo Black Garrett?
	That is not a tranny!
	Yes, baby!
	Yes, baby!
	You really put it to us on that one.
	That's not really fair.
	No, that was obvious, and you made it harder than it was.
	Well, you know what?
	I overthinked it.
	Made you think?
	When we played the drinking game on Oscars night and, you know, the possibility tomorrow morning that we're all out of a job, I overthink things.
	That's true.
	Yes.
	Alright, next one.
	Next one.
	Play along with us.
	Ready?
	Here we go.
	What do we think?
	Oh, that's so clearly a tranny.
	I'm gonna say that's a tranny.
	I'm gonna say that's not a tranny.
	I'm gonna say tranny.
	Really?
	No Adam's apple there.
	I'm not seeing the Adam's apple.
	Oh, you can get that removed, I think.
	I don't know how it works.
	I think you can, but that takes commitment.
	If you can butterfly your c**k.
	I just demonetized you.
	I demonetized myself, okay?
	to reopen it as a wound because of your body naturally.
	That's what it is.
	Just like when we did the, you know what I want to do?
	I want to show people what the sex reassignment surgery is, just like we did with the late term abortion,
	so people know what they're talking about.
	Like that video, yeah, yeah.
	I just demonetized you.
	I demonetized myself, okay?
	I'm not going to lie, I'm very ashamed.
	I'm very ashamed of what I've become.
	I feel like that point needed to be driven home.
	Alright, what's the answer there, Quarterback Garrett?
	Not.
	It is... Not.
	Jeez, you're taking your time.
	Alright, one more is a tiebreaker here.
	One more, one more.
	Alright, let's show us this.
	Everyone playing along.
	No one's listening on audio because it's been banned.
	So if you're watching this, so you're playing Spot the Tranny.
	To Facebook, we love you Mark Zuckerberg.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Make the kids look away for this one.
	Okay, no, well, hold on a second.
	It's not that bad.
	Oh, well, listen.
	I would imagine that anytime you use a picture that would seem titillating, it's a trap.
	Wait, did you say that on purpose?
	Yes.
	I'm just kidding.
	He thinks it was an accident, Brodigan.
	No, nothing you do is an accident.
	I have no idea what it is.
	Is he new here?
	That lead gold paint has seeped into my head.
	Like LSD on the Vietcong on a Jeep steering wheel.
	I did it for all of you.
	I gotta go tranny.
	You did it because you would have gotten fired if you didn't.
	Alright, I say tranny.
	What do you say?
	I say tranny.
	I'm saying tranny so I don't lose.
	I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty tired of this game because I feel like I've been looking at them all night.
	I've been watching the Oscars.
	The monitor isn't all that different from the audience.
	I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty tired of this game because I feel like I've been looking at them all night
	I've been watching the Oscars the monitor isn't all that different from the audience all right. Don't don't leave us.
	You know waiting Okay, here's what I will say here
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	This is very important.
	If we're talking about in memoriam here, and I think it was last year that Joan Rivers passed, I cannot go against arguably the funniest lady of all time.
	She was convinced that Michelle Obama was in fact transgender.
	I'm not going to say full transsexual.
	I would never say this.
	No.
	None of us here would say it.
	Not at all.
	But Joan Rivers did.
	And it would be disrespectful to the deceased.
	One of the greatest comedians of all time.
	Of all time.
	I don't want anyone here to even try disrespecting Joan Rivers.
	So everyone here has to declare that Michelle Obama is in fact a transgender or you will be fired.
	On behalf of Joan Rivers.
	On behalf of Joan Rivers.
	And Melissa Rivers, if you're watching, we love your mom.
	We love your mom.
	This is out of our hands.
	Give us the answer there, Quarter Black Garrett.
	It better be the right one.
	Not tranny for legal purposes.
	That little caveat.
	Are we sending out Betty?
	Hey, Betty!
	Here's unnecessarily cute puppy time.
	I don't know if we can... That is so cute.
	There you go, Betty.
	She's an equal opportunity licker.
	Is this best director up here?
	Betty doesn't care.
	I don't know.
	She's just like, hi guys.
	Look at that mustache!
	I gotta tell you, father, you look like a grade-A f***!
	I want you to go outside and I'll fight you like one of those ceramic pots!
	She didn't stay a pup for long.
	I don't know what it is with Betty.
	She hates pots.
	Really?
	Any clay pots, she just destroys them.
	Alright, Betty, you gotta go.
	Go to mama.
	Betty, go.
	She's like, screw it.
	I'm on my own.
	Betty, hold on.
	There you go.
	Alright, so this is best... Oh, hold on.
	She's gonna take a dump.
	She's gonna take it off.
	We've got Best Director coming up right now.
	Best Director.
	While Stephen's running around, we have Best Director coming up.
	I think this is going to Spike Lee.
	Hey, you insubordinate bitch!
	Jane, you ignorant slut!
	Get the long shot on this.
	This is gold.
	This is gold, baby.
	And the Oscar goes to...
	Stephen's ass.
	Who?
	Right when you said that.
	I don't even know who that is.
	Wait.
	Hold.
	Hold.
	Here we go.
	Was it Roma?
	Best director.
	It better not be Roma.
	It better not be freaking Roma.
	I don't know.
	Can someone tell me who won?
	Who is it?
	Coming up.
	Hold on.
	Roma.
	I'm pretty sure it's Roma.
	Put up the bottom third.
	Yeah, it's Roma.
	It is exceedingly rare, by the way, that someone who wins Best Director does not win Best Picture.
	And by the way, the Academy is, they're cheering their own death if Roma wins.
	I think we might have a guess, because there's a producer standing there.
	Are you saying we have a guess?
	You know what?
	I think after Best Director it goes to Best Picture and then we're going to have to close the show out.
	Teller, thank you so much.
	Anne McElhenney, we'll have you on the show very soon.
	I know you've been so flexible and helpful.
	We apologize.
	We didn't want to be banned from YouTube either and have to change this whole schedule.
	Let me hear what he says.
	Oh Roma!
	It was a personal story about his maid and he's clearly one of the light, I hate to say this, but in Mexico they actually really are racist and lighter-skinned Mexicans tend to at that point in time made up the vast majority of Mexicans in college which is only 2% of the population.
	Wow.
	So when I see a gray-haired Mexican who's making films I do tend to think he's one of the actual Bourgeoisie.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Let's hear what he says because we're gonna have to finish our drinks.
	And then costume winner.
	That's right.
	Yeah.
	So if... Hold on a second.
	Oh, that guy wants to sleep with him.
	Definitely.
	He's eye-stripping him so hard right now.
	Hold on a second.
	Oh, that guy wants to sleep with him.
	Definitely.
	He's eye stripping him so hard right now.
	Hold on a second.
	I have to see what this guy says.
	I want to thank the Academy for recognizing a film centered around an indigenous woman.
	As Americans, we can't say indigenous.
	A character that historically has been relegated in the background in cinema is to look where others don't.
	This responsibility becomes much more important in times when we are being encouraged to look away.
	Nobody's saying to look away.
	Spanish drink.
	You're just looking for any excuse.
	Careful, that beer's 12%!
	Here's 12%.
	Build the wall.
	Because every time, listen, every time I tune in, I'm trying to watch the latest installment
	of Ozark, you piece of shit.
	It's ruining my feed of suggestions.
	Netflix, why would you do that to me?
	Why would you suggest that?
	Okay, frankly, you know that I was never looking for that in my feed.
	What's going on there, Producer Tim?
	He's just pointing at his head.
	No, we're good. We're good on guests here. We're gonna be wrapping this up.
	Let's just, let's make this simple because I don't want to be caught on a guest when they give us Best Picture.
	That's right.
	Someone can maybe bring up, can someone do the research and confirm with me?
	There is a very, there's been a very limited number of times that someone won Best Director and it didn't go on to win Best Picture.
	Okay.
	If I'm not mistaken, I think it might have been No Country for, who can bring that up?
	Who can actually bring that up and send that to us?
	Let's get that in a second.
	And we also need the costume winner.
	Okay, but before the costume winner, The answer, what is Bernie Sanders' favorite film?
	The answer is actually, it's a tie.
	Really?
	Yeah, between the Motorcycle Diaries, no surprise, and the Human Centipede, which really is also no surprise.
	What was most surprising?
	It was the sequel.
	The sequel?
	Yeah, we didn't label it properly, but it was the sequel.
	The one song, Andrea Ocasio-Cortez?
	Yes, pretty much.
	Because what you gotta understand is that in 12 years, there will not be a Human Centipede.
	I never saw it, but the concept freaks me out.
	There'll be no one left to sew butts to mouths!
	Apparently there's a story today that no one knows where she's actually from, because she has no district offices set up in her office, and apparently she's been using her father's condo.
	As a residency.
	How many beers have you had?
	This really seems like a drunken rant.
	Okay, no, it sounds like a drunken... No, no, no, no, no.
	Hold on, hold on.
	You're a hooker?
	I thought I was just doing well with you.
	If it sounds like a drunken rant, blame the reporters at the New York Post.
	That's true.
	I don't, I blame you!
	I definitely blame you.
	Yeah, because the birth certificate thing really went out well for us.
	But I think we can all agree that she's a far cry from the red-headed conquistador.
	Huh?
	Cortez.
	Oh, I thought that was a euphemism.
	Am I mistaking Conquistadors right now?
	I don't know what you're doing.
	I don't know what's happening.
	Are you talking about a Three Musketeers or something?
	No, I'm talking about the Conquistadors.
	Am I thinking of Eric the Red or did Cortez also?
	Wasn't he a red-headed?
	I'm actually confused which one of us is the drunk one.
	I don't know.
	I'm just very tired.
	Best picture!
	Best picture!
	Julia Roberts!
	Oh my gosh!
	Oh my gosh!
	And then quiet.
	She looks great, Julia Roberts.
	She does.
	I gotta say this.
	When I was a kid, I had a huge... Oh, not a thing.
	That is Julia Roberts.
	I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
	I'm messing with Steven.
	Huge.
	What?
	I can't do that?
	She did age well.
	She does look great, but I do feel like she's going to swallow that microphone whole like the kid in a school bus who swallows his fist.
	And that would be so hot.
	Man.
	You're so drunk.
	Not necessarily.
	No.
	Not necessarily.
	I watched Roma and I thought, I don't feel connected to this maybe it's good enough dog crap at all.
	More the part of the wealthiest 2% doctor who employs her.
	And cheats on his wife.
	I don't feel connected to the Black Klansman.
	So black, black, gay.
	I don't have AIDS!
	Better not.
	Gay.
	Black, black, gay, gay.
	So far.
	Okay, call it.
	Who do you think wins?
	Best picture.
	Probably Roma.
	The Queen movie.
	Bohemian Rhapsody.
	Okay, I want a star is born, probably Roma.
	It better not be Roma.
	I didn't realize Vice was nominated for Best Picture.
	I thought it was just Best Actor.
	Okay, let's see who it is.
	I'm going to call Roma.
	And the Oscar goes to... Green Book.
	What?!
	Wow!
	Wow!
	Didn't see that one coming.
	Did you hear the audience?
	Everyone was very surprised.
	Okay, before we close this show out, before we close the show out, who's the winner of the costume contest tonight?
	You get the golden mug.
	The winner is Maddie.
	Bring it up.
	Hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	Before we close out.
	Hold on one second.
	Before we close this out.
	We gotta bring it up.
	Do we know who the costume contest winner is?
	We don't know who the costume... Okay, we're gonna announce that tomorrow on Twitter.
	What's the moral of the story tonight?
	Not only was there a bunch of sermonizing, but we got banned simply for criticizing the Oscars.
	Okay, the moral of the story is that YouTube sucks, and I just... I don't know what this is, but... I do think that that is the important moral to take away from this story.
	This is a very self-important pageant of self-congratulating awards that are being given here.
	And I would like to self-congratulate you for hiring us.
	Thank you very much.
	What are you looking at there, Producer Tim?
	Are we good?
	Okay, well thank you so much for everyone who joined us.
	What about the beard beard?
	Oh, well we're gonna do that another day.
	We're gonna make beer from Brodigan's beard.
	Next time I'm here.
	No, we'll do it before you leave.
	We'll do it live.
	What was that?
	What's happened here?
	We're gonna make beer beer from a Brodigan's beard from that least in his beard next time. I'm here. No
	We'll do it when we'll do it before you leave all right We'll do a lot
	What's what's going on? What what?
	Oh, there's smoke over there.
	We have a Nike!
	Mike Myers with the sneaker.
	Oh, that's a PR nightmare for Nike.
	Alright guys, we're gonna have to get some paramedics in here.
	Thank you so much for watching Hashtag Crowder's anti-Oscars party.
	Tomorrow we'll see what we can get up live on the YouTube.
	I just hope he's okay so we can get back to a life of cooking.
	Thank you so much!
	We'll see you tomorrow!
	We'll see you tomorrow!
	Bye!
	Bye!
	It should have been A Star is Born!
	Bye!
	I'm disappointed in myself.
	Yes.
	Hey there, if you like this video, this is the part where I would usually tell you to subscribe, but... I can't do it anymore.
	I'm gonna tell you to subscribe, and then YouTube is going to decide that we can't reach you even though you subscribe to this channel, and then I'll say hit the notification bell, and then the notification bell won't even be there anymore.
	I don't know what to say.
	More than likely you'll find my face in a milk carton.
	But do what you can to stop it.

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