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June 8, 2018 - Louder with Crowder
01:14:26
PROOF FEMINISTS ARE LOSING! Mike Huckabee and RazorFist | Louder With Crowder
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No, no, not that way.
The other way.
Keep going.
Way to go, Matthew.
I'm sorry.
Way to go!
Mugs lift us up where we belong Oh.
you.
Where a frisbee it flies, from the mountains high.
Muds lift us up where we belong.
Louder with Crowder Studios.
protected exclusively by Walther.
It's June, which marks Louder With Crowder's third annual cultural appropriation month,
where we take you across the globe learning and appreciating all the great cultures this
planet has to offer.
This week, allow us to transport you to the oft-persecuted, but ass-kicking culture of Israel!
Ha!
🎵 That's the petting lamb's butt at the top of the door
because...
Mmm!
So Israel!
Thanks to Dole of Broughton, by the way, at Dole of Broughton for the idea of Israel, Cultural Preparation Month.
Brilliant.
This is the third year in a row it caught on and we're going to be looking at, I think, seeing the best live costume every week this month for Culture to see who wins a Cultural Preparation Contest costume contest.
You're looking pretty tight.
Mighty dapper over there, my friend.
You're looking good.
I feel like I look more like Mary Poppins had sex with Dustin Hoffman and Hook.
In case you were wondering, Hasidic was the goal.
We have Governor Mike Huckabee on the show.
He's going to be thrilled with the get-ups.
Though not as angry as Sally Cohn last year with Sweden.
And then we have Razorfist on the show.
And we're going to be talking about Samantha Bee.
We're going to be talking about the Forbes Top 100.
Apparently no athletes there were women.
But hey, the thing behind Cultural Appropriation Month, for people who don't realize, is to appropriate is to appreciate one's culture.
That's true.
And so we always want to, Israel, a lot of people don't know, here's some little facts from Israel, our brilliant researcher, the Beast, Reg as we call him.
Israel is actually home to the city with the most chess grandmasters in the world.
I would have thought they'd be Asian.
I have Israel to thank for, actually it looks, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
I had no idea that actually came to us from Israel, but again, they put in nothing but Asians in those suits.
I love how it's just like, Jason, Billy, the black guy.
And then once again in the suits, it's all just 14-year-old female Japanese gymnasts.
And little known fact also, Israel is the only functioning democracy in the Middle East.
So that's something else that's... Oh.
Ooh.
That's awkward.
We'd take care of it, but we know we'd be in the nightly news.
So, producing will be in video studio as always.
This is Jared, who is not gay.
Follow him on Twitter at notgayjared.
May it as crowd with your comments, your thoughts, your photoshops.
Again, your costumes and your suggestions.
Yes.
What would you like to see?
And also, who would you like to see for long-form interviews, by the way?
We have some coming up.
We have some Change My Minds coming up next week, some hidden camera segments.
Along form with Dennis Prager, obviously Jordan Peterson, but who else?
We're always looking for people who want to hear an interview with an hour for
FFML League of Obligations, story and conclusions.
We good?
I apologize for Ready Player One.
Yeah.
I have to own that one.
It wasn't that bad.
It was not that bad.
Also, Jurassic Park 2.
I'm surprised you took that one on, Steve.
Ah, no.
At G. Morgan Jr., IDF resident-in-chief.
Thank you.
Right.
I feel so powerful in this.
Yeah, well.
From our Jewish brother.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Betz.
Betz.
Is that a Jewish wine name?
I think it's a Jewish name, right?
Okay.
Thanks for doing your research.
I did, actually.
I looked it up.
The Jewish handbook said it's a Jewish wine name.
And Sven Computers, are you ready to do research and overlays?
You ready to get it right?
Yes.
Shalom aleichem.
I'm already over here.
You can follow me on Twitter.
Don't sweat it.
You can follow me at ElonMuskenstein.
Okay.
Or alternatively, on my backup account.
You think he's wearing black because of the outfit?
This must be very difficult for you as a German to be here.
No, I don't think it's black.
I don't think he's mourning what his people did.
that I think he's mourning this episode.
This episode.
I've got my identity.
I'm fine.
I'm clear with myself.
Good.
Okay, so news of the day.
Listen, President Donald Trump has now, this is trending, invoked the War of 1812.
Not really the war, but the fact that the English colony, British colony in Canada burned down the White House.
He had a call with Justin Trudeau.
This comes just from CNN.
Trudeau pressed Trump on how he could justify the tariffs as a national security issue, and in response, Trump quipped to Trudeau, didn't you guys burn down the White House?
Referring to the war-ish of 1812.
He didn't let it go yet.
Of course, listen, there's been a long-standing tension between Trudeau and President Trump.
It's not a secret, and we actually have exclusive footage of the phone call, I believe.
Hello, this is Canada.
Okay, so this is how you want to play ball, huh?
Mr. President, I absolutely... Okay, frankly, do you guys even play ball over there?
Now, that is needlessly insulting.
Of course we do.
What about in Montreal?
No.
Ah, that's what I thought.
Okay, frankly, this is how it's gonna go, okay?
You're going to stop the tariffs.
And you're going to start upholding your end of the deal.
Mr. President, I and the rest of Canada won't be pushed around by the likes of you.
Oh, hey, some fire.
There's the spirit of the guys who burned down the White House.
Excuse me?
The White House.
You burned it down in 1812.
It was a bold move.
Okay, caught us by surprise.
But that's just because no one expects their friends to burn down their sh**.
By the way, Trump Towers withstood many fires.
The greatest fire.
Mr. President, that wasn't even Canada, eh?
It was technically still a British colony.
Okay, frankly, you think you're so clever.
Need I remind you about the Revolutionary War?
The Mexican-American War, huh?
The Spanish-American War, the Civil War.
Freed those guys, okay?
Persian Gulf War, World War I, the sequel.
If you don't buy any Pews and Qs, there's gonna be a threequel, like Godfather 3.
Mr. President, like I said, that wasn't Canada!
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
Because you guys bet over for the British.
Unlike the people who fought them off to become the greatest country the world has ever seen, frankly, the greatest, your people, bet over and took it in the... You, Mr. President, Or a vulgarity.
Okay, frankly, that's why you still have that old hang on your body.
We have Washington, Lincoln, great men.
Frankly, the best men.
Okay, I won't be pushed around by you.
You know something else?
They're gonna make a coin of me.
Okay?
They're gonna make a coin with Trump.
With my face on the side of it.
You know what's gonna be on the other side?
Of the Trump coin?
No.
I don't know.
Me.
Still me.
Spank in your a**.
It's almost like he takes it.
What I love about Trump the most is he's so transparent with his schedule.
He's not aware of it, but you know exactly.
He was probably Wikipedia-ing himself that morning, stumbled across the page about 1812, and was like, I'm going to work this in.
Hey!
Hey, Peds!
Can you believe this sh**?
Look at what's in our house!
This house!
Not in my house!
It's the same thing with his Fox & Friends obsession.
You just know exactly where he's getting his points from.
This is like breaking news for him.
Hey, Mulatti!
Kilby said it's fake news!
Kilmeade says it, you know it's good!
By the way, the National Institutes of Health are spending $350,000 on a new study, or I guess they spent $350,000, to find out if lesbians are using the right form of contraception.
Yeah.
Leading researcher Jenny Higgins, an associate professor in gender women's studies, there's a surprise, the studies examining quote unique barriers lesbians and bisexuals, keyword being bisexuals, have to adequate contraceptive care.
Just so you know, the massive study began with a questionnaire beginning with are you a lesbian and ending with them collecting a check.
And it may sound absurd, some said this study was simply meant to parlay funding actually into their next study regarding the vexing correlation between gay men and fondness for breasts.
Looks like... Correlate?
Correlation does not equal causation!
And another study by another quarter million to deliberate over the new FAA rules for penguins.
Who also happen to be gay, I should have clarified.
At least they're getting into the spirit, right?
They can't get their backs.
Lesbianism is not linear.
It's a sphere.
It's a circle.
It's a circle of the spectrum.
So the more lesbian you become, the more susceptible to pregnancy you are.
Yes, that's exactly right.
It's impossible.
You paid $3 million for that discovery.
I love how they toss in bisexuals.
It's like, we want to study lesbians and have access to contraceptive care.
I don't think.
And bisexuals.
Done!
Cut the check.
This is a true story, right?
This is a true story, yeah.
I'm like certain parts of German history.
You're a holocaust denier now, right?
Speaking of raging lesbians.
I take that back.
No, he's only taking it back because it's a violation of the German constitution.
It literally is.
Remember that time we were doing a bit?
Remember that Not Gay Jade?
It was a great bit.
It was hilarious.
I can't say that.
I would never be able to go back.
It's an actual violation of the German constitution to say this about blah blah blah.
This part will have to be scrubbed from the episode.
Yeah, exactly.
This part will not be scrubbed from the episode.
No, you're screwed, buddy.
Better keep rolling those burns.
Speaking of angry, raging lesbians, at least I assume so, Cecil Richards?
Cecile Richards?
Cecile?
Cecile?
Not the lion.
The bad one.
Oh.
Planned Parenthood.
Planned Parenthood fame.
She sparked outrage.
I hate to use it, but she tweeted, the Trump administration policy of taking children from their families is immoral.
We as a nation are better than this.
Hashtag families belong together.
So I want to make sure you understand this.
Cecile Richards, president of an organization that profits off of literally dismembering babies and sucking them down a tube, is expressing moral outrage over deporting illegal immigrants.
Yeah.
I just let that sit in.
Reminds me of the time when Adolf Hitler told Winston Churchill that he was being a total dick.
Or when Mao accused the Chinese citizens of senseless violence and scratching my tanks.
I paid the money for those tanks!
You ruined the wheel well.
I just bought those white walls.
Why can't you use Charles?
Let me be clear.
She later explained herself that after seeing all those born-alive children and tweeted her expressive tweet, all that money down the drain.
That's really what she was upset about.
All that money down the drain.
Speaking of expressing herself, and also likely a raging angry lesbian, who knows?
I know she's married, but I would love to meet that husband.
Samantha Bee apologized.
And just as you would think, it's the worst apology.
It's the worst non-apology.
It's not even a non-apology.
It's just bad.
You know, a lot of people were offended and angry that I used an epithet to describe the president's daughter and advisor last week.
It is a word I have used on the show many times, hoping to reclaim it.
I never intended it to hurt anyone, except Ted Cruz.
Many men were also offended by my use of the word.
I do not care about that.
I should have known that a potty-mouthed insult would be inherently more interesting to them than juvenile immigration policy.
If you are worried about the death of civility, don't sweat it.
I'm a comedian.
I am.
I'm really sorry that I said that word, but you know what?
Civility is just nice words.
Maybe we should all worry a little bit more about the niceness of our actions.
Okay, thanks for listening.
I agree with that, but guess what? Her actions are her show.
Her words are her actions.
That's all she does.
So first off, let's go through that really quick.
She said her words never were intended to hurt anyone.
What about Ivanka?
Well, no, you have to take it in context.
You called her a feckless c**t?
In which context was that designed to be anything short of an insult?
Then she goes, I don't care about them because men aren't allowed to have opinions on someone else's actions, even if you're calling said man's wife the c-word, I guess.
Then she blames the news media cycle.
It's true.
Listen, the media absolutely sucks.
The news media, the cable news outrage cycle, but so does she.
She's the one who feeds into that.
She sources from Salon.com, so she's kind of lost her leg to stand on.
And then she closed it by putting on the comedian hat, which used to bother me a lot about Jon Stewart.
Even more when Samantha Bee does it, talking about how actions matter more than words.
These are her actions.
And here's the thing.
She hosts a show in which they do nothing but feign outrage.
You notice that, right?
Does anyone else see the irony here?
Yeah.
And she's absolutely terrible at everything that she does, apparently.
Can't even do this correctly.
She's not that bad when it comes to lying about statistical realities.
She's effective.
That's the brilliance of the left, though.
She's got a leather jacket for that one.
The brilliance of the left.
They own the media, so they can just always go up there and cover their own tracks.
Just like Bill Clinton.
Did you see Bill Clinton on Colbert, where he basically teed him up to apologize for all of his comments about Mama Lu?
I know, exactly.
Not apologizing.
Well, she talks about it because I know it's more interesting than Donald Trump's asinine immigration policy.
Oh, yes, because, Samantha Bee, clearly you're in the minority when it comes to the media berating Trump over his immigration policy.
You're the one swinging.
You're swimming upstream, right?
That's what's happening here.
You're risking it, Samantha.
This is what they always hold themselves out as martyrs.
Samantha Bee, you are the news cycle.
You're a part of it.
It's TBS.
I think Turner Broadcasting is, if I'm not mistaken, is a parent company.
Isn't it the parent company they're sending you?
I think, yeah.
Ted Turner!
Yeah.
He's riding it on a bison, giving money to the DNC!
And all this, this show constantly demands apologies from people.
Well, subsequently, now they're providing a non-apology apology.
So, here's how an honest apology would have been.
And I don't want an apology from Samantha Bee.
No.
Here's the thing.
Either apologize, or just be honest.
Okay, I got caught.
I called the president's daughter.
C-word.
Yeah, it was intended to be hurtful.
I've done it in the past.
I thought I could continue to get away with it.
I'm wrong.
Sorry to those, I deliberately aimed to hurt.
Or just don't apologize.
Either would be fine.
That's the only reason I'm not offended.
I'm a little clueless here, too, that she sucked at apologizing and she said she wanted to reclaim the c-word?
I don't know, that's a thing.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Even if it meant you want to make that word cool again, was it ever cool?
Remember how much flak we got into, NotGayJay, when we did that poster of Hillary Clinton, bitch?
And we said, bitch is going to be the new n-word.
And we dialed it back from bitch.
Yeah, and we still get a lot of flak.
We still got a lot of flack.
Yeah, we still got a lot of flack.
We had the picture of Hillary Clinton, like the Obama, blue and red.
You can go back and read the article.
We said, watch, this election was fantastic.
And we said, this election, bitch, is going to be the new N-word.
Everyone who is racist will wake up and all of a sudden be considered a racist.
Be considered a sexist, I apologize.
And whose phone was that?
Whose phone was that?
Nightline.
Oh, you know what, that was Nightline.
That was my phone.
Anyway, moving on from Samantha Bee, let us know what you think.
Seattle's homeless tent mansion, if that's the term that's been coined, has been growing so much to the point where they even added a keg.
Up since April, and even though it's an eyesore to neighbors and tourists, city officials have said that the multi-tent encampment is a low priority for sweeps, so they felt comfortable enough to bring over a keg to the site.
Though they did warn residents to not share beverages.
Also, they posted a notice to those who use the homeless tent mansion jacuzzi.
You should probably be tested for AIDS.
Really, you're being tested for not AIDS.
Because if you use the homeless tent mansion jacuzzi and dodge that bullet, we want to know how.
Sometimes gentrification is a good thing.
Scratch that.
It's a great thing.
Sometimes it's a great thing.
It's expensive to have a keg.
You gotta rent the machine, like the equipment.
Who's in the tent city that's homeless and has money to go get a keg?
Who's prioritizing that?
A car!
To go get the keg.
Hmm.
Methadone?
Yeah.
Or Bud Light Lime!
You know it's Kraft.
Bad choice.
Don't give me that.
Speaking of things I don't like, Feral Peacocks.
They're now attacking luxury cars in British Columbia.
I think we have some B-roll of this, don't we?
Of these actual peacocks.
Look, they've been attacking.
It actually comes from CBS News.
That's a Mustang, that's not luxury.
The pesky P-Fowlers, they're saying, are taking property damage to a whole new level.
They've been running rampant throughout the town, attacking cars, attacking buildings, and some thought this was actually due to the Peacock's mating season.
Some actually were blaming it, of course, in a clash with urban sprawl, as you see a lot, until the Peacocks started a hashtag, PeacocksLivesMatter, and now we see what their true motive was.
I don't know how else it could have ended up.
They're organized.
They are.
They're more organized than Sean King.
They are.
They have more going on for them, too.
Better funding.
Yeah, better funding.
I still can't believe Rachel told us that.
It's because we're not pocketing half of it.
An Ontario teacher's license, by the way, was suspended for two months after she told the student to... Okay, I can't even necessarily read this.
She told the student, quote, lick me where I... I'm paraphrasing, flatulate.
Yeah, she said, this teacher had her license booked in Ontario for telling the student to lick me where I fart.
On my way, said Kevin Spacey.
Aw.
Aw.
So happy.
They don't have those kind of windows in planes.
Kevin Spacey, I hope you find what you're looking for.
I'll be there.
That's creative, though.
You've got to give her some credit.
This is a true story, right Sven Computer?
This is a true story from, I mean, But here's the funniest part of that story.
I read through the article, a headline like, it doesn't get any worse than this, does it?
No, no, it gets better.
Among other things, a student complained that, quote, she told another student, it sounds like your ass cheeks are too close together.
This angry teacher to a student, you know...
Your ass cheeks sound like they're too close together!
Sit down!
Don't bother me.
She only got two months.
I got papers to correct.
I didn't get my Starbucks.
We thought it was funny until we realized this had actually been an ongoing problem.
It's a condition.
Oh.
I mean, the teacher was always difficult, but when she brought up my condition, that was crossing the line.
I've suffered with gluteus constrictivitis my whole life.
To be teased by students is one thing.
You know, kids are cruel.
To be called out by the teacher like that.
It's beyond poor taste.
But the student in question was diagnosed with gluteus constrictivitis at age six.
And despite all the teasing, claims he was beginning to make peace with it.
How would I describe it?
It's kind of like an overbite.
For my ass.
I was confused, but thank you.
What does it take to get fired in a socialist country?
I don't understand.
If that doesn't get it, I don't know what does.
Well, her license was revoked.
For like two months.
I mean, she should be on the terrorist watch list at least.
Apparently the fastest way to get a vacation is to tell a child his ass sucks.
John McAfee should be offering to unlock her phone for the feds.
This is somebody who no longer cares.
I didn't realize that was an insult.
No.
Here's the thing, you know this isn't the first time this person used it.
No.
That's a go-to.
No.
Your ass cheeks sound like they're too close together.
Like I said, it's creative.
I give her points for that.
What, am I a conehead?
We're going to have Razor Fist and then Governor Mike Huckabee.
So here is the other outrage of the day because this has been a jam-packed week for news and then it slowed down come Thursday.
Thank God for cultural appropriation.
The Forbes 100 highest paid athletes list came out and there wasn't a single woman Well, this is disappointing.
For the first time ever, no woman made Forbes' list of 100 top paid athletes.
Topping the list were unsurprising names like Boyd Mayweather, Messi, and Ronaldo.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, of course, instant complaints calling it a damning indictment you see from leftists and journalists.
I thought this was going to piss you off a little bit because the highest paid are soccer players and I thought that would be, you know, a little bit of rage for you.
You know, usually I would be upset at the injustice of it all, but at the end of the day they still have to live the rest of their life as soccer players.
Their penance is the rest of their life.
You have to look yourself in the mirror.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, the fight for equal pay in sports is nothing new.
It's been going on for a while now.
We've covered this.
These women, they train just as hard as the men do.
We inspire as many young players around the world as the men do.
And so there's no reason why you need to have 100, 200 to 1 disparity in pay.
May, it comes down to simply a matter of Inequity.
It's not... I mean, women are not paid the same amount of money as blokes in so many professions.
And I think we need to pay women more in sport.
The women's soccer team is taking legal action because they want more.
Players on the U.S.
women's national soccer team say they're being discriminated against because they make less than members of the men's team.
Okay.
Look, even when the men's team doesn't make the World Cup, like previously, they still draw more people than the women's team when they win the World Cup.
Do you notice a lot of words that you hear in there?
You hear, I think.
Apparently, you invented a language.
Don't pronounce your T-H's, by the way.
I think I deserve more.
Women feel that you think you want more.
I want, I want, I want.
You're welcome for that movie as well.
Actually, that one was underrated.
I know you got flack for that, but I still think it was pretty good.
Here's the thing.
Athletes, they don't ever talk about earnings, which is the key.
This is what it is.
Earnings.
Athletes' earnings.
Athletes get paid based on how much money people pay to see them play.
And people don't pay as much to see female athletes.
People pay more money to see Floyd Mayweather than Chris Cyborg.
They pay more money to see LeBron James than they do...
Hey Google, who's the top player in the WNBA?
Just no one, doesn't even have an answer!
Oh, I guess it's Siri.
See Siri.
Siri's saying, I don't even go back to ask Google.
I go back to Google.
Refer to Google.
Nobody knows.
It's something that I don't understand, and I know it's because of your male privilege,
it's a blind spot, but no, no, here's the thing.
There are plenty of areas where women far out, they excel well beyond, I meant to say outperform men, and then I said excel, and it's like, I had a, this hat, it's too tight.
It's a wonder the Jews are still so successful in every realm of business and intellect when they have these tight hats.
And it's very hot.
I'm quite certain I have lice.
We shouldn't have got these second hand from the costume shop.
Can't we storm us with a cut this section out and be like, see, yes, I knew he was Jewish.
Hear him complain?
They're going to cut my part out from earlier, beep beep.
No, they're not going to.
They're going to cut my part out so that Angela Merkel doesn't have it on a loop like a morphine drip.
Please don't put me in there.
Look at the Forbes top list of paid models.
They're all women.
All of them.
They've always been women.
And this is what we were saying earlier about Mrs. America.
I'm going now.
Mrs. America, you think she needs the men?
Society celebrates women's bodies because they're beautiful.
They celebrate women because they're beautiful.
Generally, men are only celebrated for their functionality.
Now, it's not that a man can't have an attractive body or face, and it's not that a woman can't be functional.
It's just that men naturally tend to excel at being the biggest, fastest, strongest, while women tend to naturally excel at being far more beautiful than a sweaty, hairy guy.
It's not even about who's the most popular, because, I mean, you can argue Ronda Rousey is popular, but no one's watching her stuff.
And athletically, even the weakest NBA players can mop the floor with her.
Kevin Durant, for instance.
I'm sure he can, you know, when he's not spending his money and time destigmatizing anorexia.
Friend of the show, Andrew Bogut.
Andrew Bogut?
Yeah.
Give him six weeks of training.
Yep.
Watch Ron.
Tough girl thing.
Or an angry lesbian Brazilian named Amanda Nunez.
So here's the thing.
Men are going to do better in paid sports, while women tend to dominate fashion glamour modeling industries.
Now here's the thing.
When you look behind the outrage at women not being on the top athletes list, it's this desire to completely erase the differences between men and women.
This is what we've been talking about.
This is what everyone else out there knows.
Have you noticed, by the way, YouTube's bizarre obsession with tranny makeup tutorials?
How many do you need?
There's like one style.
There's one genre of makeup.
One tutorial should do.
Because in tandem with there's a real push for tranny cover girls, tranny playboy playmates, tranny women of... male women of the year.
I don't get the obsession.
It's so confusing.
What's so funny is we talked about this and some of the angry leftist atheists on Twitter are like, oh, that's based on your own search history.
No, it's not.
I mean, it's the trending list on YouTube.
It's like Makeup Hall and Tranny with Rouge.
I don't know why they're pushing on us.
I think I do.
It's the same idea.
They want to push men into this female-dominated industry just like they want equality of outcome with women in sports.
Here's the thing.
You can either have equality of opportunity or you can have equality of outcomes.
That's it.
You cannot have both.
Yeah, and you always want equality of opportunity.
That's the only thing you ever want.
Just a fair shot to do what you do.
Equality of outcome results when you have things like affirmative action, when you have things like specific scholarships for race or gender.
What happens?
It actually removes the opportunity, the fair opportunity to someone who can earn it, to give it to someone where it is unearned.
Equal outcomes.
Look, let's use this analogy here in sports.
Okay, if we say, you know what?
There's only $500 million for soccer.
I know there's far more, but let's go with what it deserves.
There's only $5 in soccer.
Okay, so you have to separate it $2.50 equally to the men and the women.
When the women lose to high school boys teams and people don't want to watch them play, what does that mean?
That means there's going to be far less money for the sport that would be profitable where men deserve the opportunity to earn their keep.
They don't get the opportunity to earn it.
Equal outcomes cannot, ensured equal outcomes, cannot result in equal opportunity, and I don't know why it's hard for people to do that.
Women in sports is such a perfect example of the free market at work, because even women don't want to watch other women in sports.
No!
No!
It's not a thing.
It's not a thing, and that's also why you have the left pushing people like Scarlett Johansson, who sucks in Avengers.
Or other, or, uh... What is her superpower?
She has a superpower, but they have to, they love it because that's the only, the fantasy world is the only way they can kick a man's ass.
What is it?
I don't know!
You just said she does!
I don't know!
I don't know.
Does she have a superpower?
No, she doesn't have any superpower.
She's just there.
Okay.
She had a hard childhood.
Her superpower, she made the casting cut.
Even with her man voice.
No.
They picked a pretty girl.
That's not our fault.
She was great in the Prestige, though.
That's because she died.
She liked my leather outfit.
This ties right back into Miss America, right?
We were saying it should be about personality and intelligence.
I was thinking, well, if that's the case, great.
Just give it to Betty White.
She's sharper than any of those girls.
Hilarious.
And that's why it's not fair.
Again, this is to remove the essence of what makes a human a human.
People still want to sleep with her.
Someone like Winston Churchill.
He's never going to win a beauty contest.
No.
So instead, he uses his Winston Churchill-ness Dickass.
his intellect and his wit to be successful.
Dick ass.
By the same token, Miss America is never going to be Winston Churchill.
But now we're demanding that she try to be Winston Churchill
because for her to not be Winston Churchill is actually sexist,
even though she signed up to walk six steps in a bikini.
Oh, that's confusing.
It's not that confusing.
No, I mean, why would they do that?
In trying to force equal outcomes, you end up eliminating what makes people who they are.
So beauty and physical strength are both forms of power.
And this is why ugly feminists hate beautiful women and weak men hate stronger men
and the women who like strong men.
So instead of trying to be more attractive, instead of trying to get stronger,
the left does what it does.
They try to demonize achievement.
Whether it's beauty or strength.
Some people are beautiful!
Some people have great personalities!
For some, it's great physical prowess.
Not all people are born with all the things!
And that's okay!
I've tried.
Well, and every time you do equal outcomes, you get rid of greatness.
Because you have to bring other people down.
Nobody can be great anymore.
Nobody can be super beautiful or can be LeBron James.
I know you hate him.
Whatever.
Fine.
Right?
You always hate equals.
Wait, wait.
When did KJ start hating LeBron James?
No, I don't hate him.
No, I know.
But you said some bad stuff about him in the past.
We know about that.
What?
You're mad at him now?
No, I just think, no, I'm not mad at him.
I'm mad at all of Cleveland.
No, no, I'm mad at all of Cleveland.
You should always be mad at all of Cleveland.
Now I really am.
Now I mean it.
I lived there, it's the only sane thing you can do.
It's like saying, I've been disappointed in Detroit this quarter.
What was the tipping point?
They removed the Coney Island I liked.
Oh, well, there you go.
There you go.
Men are just better at performing at higher levels when it comes to athletics.
Don't believe me?
Sven Computer brought this up.
We have the actual overlay here of what happens when they go head-to-head with boys.
15-year-old boys.
It's not pretty.
15-year-old boys, Sven Computer?
Yes, on the 15-year-old team.
So you could have been on that team.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
Well, okay, there's a lot wrong with that.
What I mean is there's nothing wrong with accepting that men are better at certain things, including athletics.
Just like, by the way, it's okay to accept that women are better at certain things.
Miss America, the Forbes list and the complaints, it's the exact same complaint you see from the left as you do with Bernie Sanders, as you do with Black Lives Matter, as you do with Pussyhat Economics.
It's just people screaming, Everyone has to be special!
Son of a bitch!
Everyone!
No, when everyone's special, right, it's the Incredibles.
Bernie Sanders needs to watch the Incredibles.
Gretchen Carlson needs to watch the Incredibles.
Anyone mad about the fact that women are not making more than Floyd Mayweather, arguably the best defensive boxer of all time, need to just watch the Incredibles.
When everyone you declare to be special, then nobody is.
We're so concerned about correcting papers with a red pen now that it's banned in certain states and provinces because it might hurt someone's self-esteem.
But let's not actually acknowledge a kid for an area where he's talented.
You know what helps a kid's self-esteem?
You know what helps a girl's self-esteem or a boy's self-esteem?
Is finding what they're great at, discouraging what they suck at or what is destructive, and pushing them on down that path.
Do that when you're guaranteeing equal outcomes.
We'll talk more about that after the break with, we have to get to Razor Fist.
And then I think Governor Mike, Mike, Governor Mike has to be in Razor Fist after.
Ah, ah, ah.
What do you expect?
You're shooting with the rockets while I'm doing the monologue.
What'd you think would happen?
My thoughts My thoughts
Markiplier's a dick.
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Mug Club!
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Cheers!
It's a tool, it's a tool!
I never realized how hard it was a tool.
Yeah.
That's why they do it.
People are expressed when they pull the beard and he goes, EEEEEE!
Only, I own all the banks.
So, our next guest, always a fan.
One of my favorite guests on the show, and I'm hoping that him appearing on the show, more people are going and checking out his YouTube channel.
He's on the Twitter at RazorFist with a zero.
And I'm trying to remember, his YouTube is very hard for me to remember, but Mr. Fist, what's your YouTube channel exactly again?
Extremely convoluted URL.
It's youtube.com slash C, for some reason, slash TheRageaholic.
I don't know why.
Well, let's try and consolidate that at some point and maybe you won't be so rageful.
If only there were a vast conspiracy I could blame.
Yeah, I know.
I don't know.
I just blame the YouTube moderators.
They've usually done something wrong, and they'll fess up to it, even if they haven't done anything.
They just go like, oh yeah, I probably did do that.
Sounds like me.
You guys can call me Rosenfist Razorblatt today.
Yes, exactly.
Steenburg.
I'll be conducting this interview from within triple sets of parentheses.
Yes.
It's Razorfist Blatt Steenburgin.
And married to Ted Danson.
I don't know how that works out, but it seems like they all are.
Now, hey, RazörFist, you did a video recently on Joe McCarthy.
And I know this caught up—caught up.
Caught on.
Sorry.
This is catching up with me.
I'm getting a little bit heated here.
Explain to people why you thought that was important.
Because I know you do a lot of video game stuff.
You've sort of gotten more into cultural commentary.
McCarthyism, right, is a term that's thrown around quite a bit.
It's lost all meaning.
Right.
No, actually, it was originally about, it was sort of more about how Hollywood communism infiltrated the entire sort of area and how it relates to current California politics and really how people today have conflated McCarthyism and Hollywood communism, the whole hearings thing, which they're actually two distinct things.
McCarthy was right sometimes.
That's one thing people don't realize.
Sometimes they were right in spotting communists.
Well, and that's the thing.
After the fall of the Berlin Wall, after it went, you know, Splitsky, they uncovered all these communiques.
They were reprinted in several books, actually.
The Soviet World of American Communism by Harvey Clare, John Earl Haynes, and Kirill Anderson, I believe.
They actually reprinted, word for word, the communiques.
And you found out that apparently the Soviet Union were funding the American Communist Party, including the Hollywood Communist Party.
To the tune of between a third and one half of their overall operating budget.
And just Hollywood alone, they were dropping at least two mil annually.
You know, the same amount an American politician spends on ads every four years.
Except they were doing it every year.
Or ass, if you will.
Yeah, it depends.
Well, it's all part of the expense budget.
Either way, taxpayers are putting the bill.
Yeah, either way.
So you did this video.
I highly recommend people go check it out at C slash the Rageaholic.
But that ties into, obviously, the California Senate run.
I mean, it's kind of, really, with California, outside of the Arnold issue, when it comes to state politics, when it comes to the state legislature and, of course, the House and Senate, it's which Democrat is really going to win or Republican with a D in their name, effectively.
Well, yeah, but like, how badly did Jerry Brown have to f**k up as governor to get a Republican within six points of victory in California?
That state is bluer than Jared's balls over there.
You could put a D next to Trump's name, they'd elect him king without even checking.
How do you even do that?
Hide their hash brownies?
How does that even work in the state of California?
I am constantly vexed at California.
There was an article, I think the New York Times tried to pass it off as though it was a great state for business.
It's actually not.
And if you remove Silicon Valley, it's not growing at all.
And I think LA, for the first time, has seen population stagnation, if not decline, relatively speaking.
I don't have the numbers in front of me, but compared to Texas.
And you have a lot of Californians moving from California in businesses.
Can I pay more taxes?
There's no food tax and a surplus!
but then they bring their policies there.
So I really just think it comes down to Californians are often retarded.
Yes, speaking of Jewish appropriation, it's a mass exodus, is what it is.
Yes, it is.
They get here and they're going to start, instead of bitching about man, they're going
to start bitching about, can I pay more taxes?
There's no new tax and a surplus.
How do you live here?
I feel like I should pay more.
The thing that blows me away is, like, even though DNC numbers are down, like, did you see what some of these, particularly the entrenched California Democrats, like, won by?
Like, these dudes are pulling down, like, South American dictator numbers.
Like, you know?
Like, oh, what's that, Feinstein?
You won by 1,005%?
Oh, yeah, that's, uh, that's not, I don't know, that's not fishier than Stormy Daniels in a sauna.
All right, we get where this is going.
Um... I think, I think I, I could, before you, after you said Stormy, I was like, ah, this can only end one way.
Um...
So, okay, what do you think is going to happen with California?
You've been covering this quite a bit, or you're interested in it quite a bit.
Do you think California rights the ship, or do you think it just crashes itself into oblivion eventually?
Well, come on.
Like I said, they will elect literally anything with a D next to their name.
I mean, they re-elected Jerry Jonestown Brown.
You know what I mean?
This guy spoke at Jim Jones's church.
He appointed Jim Jones illegally the housing commissioner of San Francisco.
A thousand dead commies in, you know, the worst pinko potluck in human history.
And 30 years later they re-elect the guy because apparently Pol Pot was booked.
You think this is a state that's turning it around?
No, no.
It's going to be the state equivalent of Detroit, which is sad because of all the rich natural resources.
I mean, it really should be.
When they say, well, California is actually still the fifth biggest economy in the world, it's like, well, it's a coastal state with more resources than any state ever.
The funniest story to me, we were just talking about it this week, for those who aren't Mud Club members, to me the funniest story, which I believe crystallizes California perfectly, is when Tom Selleck was charged with stealing water for his avocado farm.
I just thought, that's Tom Selleck stealing, and he doesn't even like avocados.
That's a fascinating thing.
I don't even know how he was doing it.
Was he siphoning it?
I think he was putting it in trucks.
But it's like, in California, it's like, if you guys just didn't damn everything up, if you guys allowed yourselves to actually use the water, so.
You're so close to the border, you can get your guacamole there.
How else are you gonna grow that?
How else do you grow that magnificent mustache?
You know, you need a sod farm under there.
You gotta nourish it.
You would think so.
I think we've about tapped this conversation.
Basically in California, it doesn't matter if you have a D next to your name in San Francisco, a D in your... take whatever your pick is here.
We were just talking about this earlier.
I would imagine you have a lot of thoughts on this because it's kind of more cultural, social.
People complaining that no female athletes are amongst the top paid in Forbes 100 and they've removed the bikini and obviously evening gown from Miss America.
It's like there's been a crap storm of just destroying the idea that women can be beautiful this week.
It really is.
When I heard that, I naturally assumed the fix was in for Amy Schumer, but then I remembered there was actually a talent portion, so no, sadly.
Good lord!
You are ruthless!
Unless Shrill is a talent.
Yes.
Well, or you're kind of smelling like a barnyard animal and tagging that with the exact same joke, Fifteen Tenths.
No, I mean, that's what we were talking about earlier.
If it's about intellect, if it's about personality, send in Betty White.
I mean, she just cleans house, you know?
It's a beauty pageant.
Well, that's the thing.
If I want to watch some broad tell me what charities she donates to and, you know, listen to her demonstrate Tibetan throat singing, I could always date an anthropology major.
You know, it's not hard.
They're all over catmoms.com or whatever the hell.
You know, it's funny that you say that.
I had... I thought it was... I forgot.
It's Tibetan throat singing or Mongolian throat singing.
It is Tibetan.
Oh, yeah.
I had a cab driver in Los Angeles... I can't do it.
...do Tibetan throat singing, and he wanted me to do... It was like the... He's like, do it with me.
It's kind of going... And it's basically whistling and humming at the same time, and it sounds like when Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber said, tractor beam.
I had a cab driver who would not let me off the hook without Tibetan throat singing, so why do you know about it?
Well, you see, I have a past at a Tibetan monastery.
Yeah, I can imagine.
And then Brad Pitt came and made that crappy movie.
There's a lot you don't know about me.
It is, it is.
I mean, we were just talking about this.
Have you ever sat down, because all the top models paid are women, have you ever sat down and been angry and said, why are these women being paid so much money to be on the cover of these magazines and gotten bitter about it?
Yeah, I don't know about you, but my head doesn't hit the pillow at night without thinking about, you know, how much Cindy Crawford was paid for that sh**ty Doritos commercial.
Or Elle Macpherson for her poor performance in The Edge.
That's the only negative in that film.
It's still a positive, let's be honest, but she wasn't great.
That was a really specific reference.
Yeah, because I tell you what, when I was a kid, it was Elle Macpherson in The Edge.
I was all about the Elle Macpherson.
The bod, she was known.
Apparently perfect dimensions.
Could you imagine that nowadays?
She was known as the bod because she had the perfect dimensions.
Which, by the way, we're not thin.
She wasn't a thin girl.
She was more of a connected type.
And men loved her.
She was six foot, bosomy.
and uh you know we gave her a lot of money almost almost like it's a pageant or something you know what i mean like can you imagine this metric being applied anywhere else else on god's green earth you know any other pageant like Welcome to the Westminster Dog Show, where we'll be handing out first prize ribbons if you lick your balls and chase a laser pointer.
You know what I mean?
Like, it doesn't really work that way.
You're supposed to stand there and linger your hand uncomfortably near my dog's balls for 45 minutes, okay?
Do it like a normal person.
Best case scenario, an old lady sticks her thumb up the dog's ass and works it up so it gets That's the right posture.
Now imagine if they were to say at Westminster, like, well, you know what?
It's not so much about pure bread.
So we're going to do it with rescues.
And it's just some pug that comes out with a missing eye or some border collie that looks like it was blown up in the Mexican-American War.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I don't know.
I just, I don't understand.
Well, I understand it.
I understand it completely.
Okay.
We do have to get going.
What is it that you would want people to check out most on your channel?
Let's think.
If we have to go back to it, the McCarthy issue.
Definitely check it out.
Yeah.
That video, it's actually called Hollywood Was Always Red.
It's more about the Hollywood communism hearings.
Ronald Reagan factors in there.
It's sort of the history of how communism infiltrated Hollywood in the 20s, 30s, and 40s, and how that was brought to light, and how sort of modern Hollywood has been left the custodians of the narrative of it, and so it's been conflated into this McCarthyist witch hunt kind of counter-narrative that isn't really accurate at all.
And, uh, what kind of pushback did you receive for this video?
Push back.
You got a backhoe?
Plenty.
Plenty.
I'm making friends all over the world.
I'm like Billy Idol's dick.
I don't think you're making friends in any part of the world anymore.
That reference might have worked in, I don't know, 92?
I'm trying to think of back when it would have been relevant.
No, I think a lot of people... What inspired you to do this video?
Because it's not something that's incredibly topical.
And it's something that we've talked about on here before.
I know there are books on this.
I think...
Not the white supremacist.
Who's the other one?
Which one's the white supremacist?
Richard Spencer or Robert Spencer?
Richard Spencer.
Okay.
Robert Spencer is the one who I think wrote a book on the politically incorrect guide to Hollywood communism.
But what inspired you to write this, to do this recently?
I read a lot of books about it that inspired me to.
Originally, I was just going to do sort of a quick 10-minute rant, you know, about the House Un-American Activities Committee.
By the end, it had ballooned into this half-hour, you know, anti-Bolshevik barrage thing.
You have no idea how expensive Pinochet's helicopter is to rent.
You have no freaking idea.
I can guess, yeah.
But no, Hollywood Party by Kenneth Lloyd Billingsley is a really good book to pick up on that.
It's a good overview.
It's written in around 97.
I know Ann Coulter wrote one more about McCarthy called Treason, I want to say.
And there's a number of pretty blacklisted from history, I think, is another McCarthy book.
Some good ones, but mostly it was about the House Un-American Activities Committee, which actually had nothing to do with McCarthy.
At all.
No, that's a good point.
Actually, it's funny.
I know people are going to say, oh, oh, we just cited Ann Coulter.
It loses all credibility.
People actually go back to Ann Coulter's writing, specifically earlier on.
She was meticulous about sourcing, about referencing.
Doesn't mean she was always right.
She was always willing to stand in there and trade.
This was before the whole kind of becoming, effectively, a cheerleader for Trump.
A lot of people aren't aware that she was really a fantastic writer and did her due diligence.
All right.
That is on the Twitter at RazorFist, with a zero, right?
Not Kate Jarrett.
And on the YouTube slash C slash TheRageaholic or Rageaholic?
The Rageaholics, sir.
Gosh, you're not making it easy for us.
I know.
I'm hiding forever.
We're going to point people towards this video.
I hope they learn up on it, and I hope you are heavily armed, sir.
Indeed.
We'll be back after this, I think.
Oh, after this, we have Governor Huckabee, I think.
Crazy show.
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Enjoy the show.
They could be saying something incredibly profane in that video game, and I play it, and, you know, kids play it.
You have no idea!
No idea.
No idea.
That's why we need the rating systems.
We did Japan last year.
We missed that boat.
Our next guest, I very much appreciate that he's come on the show, and I know he's not feeling that well, so you can follow him.
He's been on the show many times.
You can follow him at govmikehuckabee.
He's the host, of course, 8 and 11 on TBN, now the show Huckabee.
Governor Mike Huckabee, thank you for being here, sir.
Hey Stephen, great to be with you, and I hope you forgive me for not dancing the Shalom special there, but I'll have to take you up on another opportunity.
That's okay.
Well, I hear it sounds like you're at death's door with your... Is it a bronchial thing, or is it pneumonia?
No, I think it's just flying in so many airplanes in that cabin air, it's drier than the Gobi Desert.
So I feel fine, I just have lost my voice.
And maybe it's screaming at the television, because occasionally I'll flip over to CNN or MSNBC, and I found myself uncontrollably yelling Yeah.
I really do.
It happens.
I've got to stop doing that.
I was going to say, I mean, if people don't know what's going on, your neighbors are just
going to be saying, well, it's that point.
He was very sharp and now he's senile.
We never thought it was going to happen with Governor Mike, but here we go.
It happens.
Yeah, it happens.
I feel the same.
We have to read Salon and HuffPo every day.
We have to read through leftist sources more than conservative sources to try and know
what they're saying.
And I know you've always done that.
We've talked about this with you on the show.
You've always been so formidable in debate.
You've always been very straightforward.
You don't shy away from what you believe, but polite.
And we've tried to talk about that.
There's a way to be civil, but you don't have to lie about finding common ground where there isn't any.
Why do you think so many people miss that?
They think it's one or the other nowadays.
That was something I've always wanted to ask you.
You know, I think it's, Stephen, it's simple.
A lot of people Don't take God seriously, but they take themselves incredibly seriously.
Right.
My view is don't take yourself too seriously.
Take God seriously.
And don't ever think that the whole world is all about self.
But, you know, when people get their feelings hurt over everything, it's really an indication That they have such a focus upon themselves.
They really are narcissists.
Right.
And people need a sense of humor.
So I love your show.
You've got a sense of humor.
And not everybody likes it, you know, because the left goes nuts because, you know, you poke holes in some of their inconsistencies.
There are plenty of legitimate reasons.
Plenty of legitimate gripes.
I didn't want to go there.
No, I know.
I didn't want to do that.
Well, there you go.
But what if you're like Kanye and you're the black Jesus, then I guess you have to just take it all seriously because you are God.
Hey, I wanted to ask you something, though, that I know has been in the news and will be near and dear to your heart.
Something I think you could provide some insight on.
The Alice Johnson story.
Yeah.
Right as I talk about something serious, this hat lops over like E.T.
The commuting of the sentence of Alice Johnson by President Donald Trump.
Now, we haven't really heard a lot about this in the media.
Black woman who was there for non-violent drug-related charges.
And you've had to deal with this, obviously, as governor.
Tell us what your view is on this situation right now, and why hasn't it gotten more coverage?
It would seem as though it's something that is a happy, all-around story everyone would want to hear.
Well, here's the fact.
If a conservative like Donald Trump Issues a commutation to an African-American woman who clearly had a disproportionate sentence for her crime.
Yes, she did.
It was a first-time offense, nonviolent.
And she gets life without parole.
I cannot begin to tell you how excessive a sentence that is.
Steven, most people who are convicted of murder will end up serving seven or eight years.
Right.
That's just a fact.
Some will have maybe a life sentence, but get out after, you know, a number of years.
Right.
Life without parole is the kind of sentence that you give to somebody if they've murdered a cop, if they have raped and dismembered a child, It is not when you give to a great grandmother.
By the way, she's already served 22 years of the sentence.
She has lost that much.
Now, a lot of people say, well, you know what?
We've got to be tough on crime.
I get that.
Sure.
But we should not be so tough on people.
And I'll put it to you this way.
My prison director, when I was governor, Great guy named Larry Norris.
And he used to say, we're locking up a lot of people that we're mad at rather than the ones we are afraid of.
And I think that really settles it because, look, it costs probably in the neighborhood of $35,000 a year in a federal lockup for the taxpayers.
Now, I'd have to ask, as a taxpayer, how many of us are really excited about locking up great grandmothers for a crime committed 23 years ago, adjudicated 22 years ago, and are still being in prison for no particular valid reason after all this time.
Uh, I don't know.
I'd imagine maybe like Bill Cosby to draw some press off himself.
I'm trying to think of ways to do that.
Sending her home and giving her a universal income would actually be cheaper.
Yeah, it would actually be cheaper.
Well, you know, here's the thing.
I also don't want to conflate the issues because the left, they've been so wrong about some of these sentences.
They're wanting full pardons.
Remember Tukey Williams and they were complaining to Arnold Schwarzenegger going, well, this guy was actually one of the founding members of either the Bloods or the Crips, had killed, I think, four people in three different shootings, and refused to, his entire life, give up information regarding other members of the gang, but he wrote a children's book.
So everyone was campaigning saying, well, you need to make the phone call to this guy.
I think he had the death penalty, if I'm not mistaken.
I think so.
And this was very different.
I'm going, well, hold on a second.
It's one thing to write a children's book on how to avoid gang violence.
It's another thing to actually save children's lives if you could give up the names of people who are out there still killing.
This wasn't one of those cases.
I encourage people to go read up more on the Johnson case.
Have you had some situations like this where you had to do this as governor?
Oh, absolutely.
And it's a tough call.
I mean, I had a thousand cases a year that would come to my desk.
Carried out the death penalty more than any governor in the history of the state.
Not something that I would take any pleasure in because it's a horrible, horrible thing to have to do.
But I also Probably issued a record number of commutations.
Not as many outright pardons.
And there's a difference.
A lot of people use that term interchangeably.
Very different.
But Stephen, here's the reason.
A lot of the cases... For people who don't know, really quickly, I know you... For people who don't know, pardon basically erases the conviction.
Pardon says you're no longer a felon.
You can vote.
You can buy guns.
It's as if you never committed a crime.
Commutation reduces the sentence.
And most of the time, a commutation reduces it to time served.
In her case, she walked out the door.
In some cases, you commute to a specific term.
Let's say a person has been given 60 years, they've served five, you commute it down to 10, and maybe they serve two more years, and then they get out on parole.
So there's a lot of different, all of it is under the banner of clemency.
But what I was going to point out is that, you know, a lot of liberals, say that they believe in sentencing reform.
That is until a conservative actually does one.
I can tell you there's no political upside to Donald Trump having done this.
The conservatives, a lot of them will be mad at him.
And the liberals will never, ever, not one time, give him any credit for looking at this African American grandmother, great grandmother, And stepping in and writing an injustice in a disproportionate sentence.
So, you know, I experienced this when I would do one and people say, oh, you need to, you know, commute this sentence.
I do it.
And guess who beat me up the most?
The left.
Yeah.
Because they didn't want me to get credit for having a heart.
They wanted to say that conservatives, uh, you know, hate people, especially minorities.
And that's why I hate the term compassionate conservative.
Well, I'm a compassionate conservative, implying that all other conservatives are what?
I just say, no, no, no, I'm a conservative.
Don't, don't hit me with that label.
But final question on this, and then I want to move on to the Philadelphia Eagles.
Let me ask you this, because in Sweden, they basically get glorified apartments, right?
Do you think that prison should be more about punishment Or rehabilitation?
Because in Europe, it's so far the other way, where it's almost not a punishment in some of these countries.
And in the United States, a lot of them don't get rehabilitated.
And that's one issue where I've talked about.
I go back and forth.
I think they need to be punished, but I don't know that the system works.
Well, I can assure you that when you lose your freedom, it is a punishment.
And, you know, people used to say, all these people in prison, they've got it so, so well, so good.
Well, they don't.
I've been to every prison in my state and always said, If you ever hear that I've committed a crime and it's a state crime, I guarantee it's a lie because I would never do something that would subject me to spending one night in one of our prisons.
I ran them.
I knew them well.
I would never want to be there.
If I commit a crime, by gosh, it's federal.
Because they're a lot better in their prisons.
But having said that... Be selective.
There you go.
That's the headline.
That's right.
Governor Mike Huckabee says, be selective in your crime.
Commit federal.
If you're going to commit a crime, do a federal offense.
But, you know, I think what we have to recognize is that the real goal ought to be correction.
I mean, that's the goal we have with our own children, isn't it?
Right.
If our children do something that's wrong, it's not that we want to punish them because we get some delight in watching them suffer.
Our delight comes when their behavior is corrected.
Now, in order to do that in the really penal system, the necessity is making sure that whatever adjudication is given It not only fits the crime, but it has the best likelihood of bringing the outcome to be some level of correction.
Let me give you an example, Stephen.
88% of all the inmates in the Arkansas prison system are there for a drug or alcohol-related crime.
They were either drunk or high when they committed the crime, or they committed the crime to get drunk or high.
Put that into focus.
What we need is not more people locked up.
We need more people who are in some type of effective treatment program that gets them out of the drug and alcohol addiction.
And I'll be very blunt with you.
The only programs that I've seen effectively work are faith-based programs.
And those have to be voluntary for the inmate.
You can't force people into a faith-based program.
But it's the only thing that works because these are people messed up on the inside.
And you can't just change their behavior by reconditioning them.
And it's a vicious cycle.
Like you said, they're either doing it because they're drunk or high or doing it to get drunk or high.
It's the wild turkey or the egg classic.
Or going to therapy so they can get back out and get drunk and high.
Yeah, exactly.
I know someone who, their relative, I will not say who, but this person knows who they are, went to the insane asylum a long time ago.
And she was so manipulative and so difficult, they opened the door and said, please leave.
You are free to go.
So hopefully a little bit better than that.
Speaking of insane, let me ask you this.
The Philadelphia, I was about to say Flyers because I'm a Canadian guy, a hockey guy.
I was about to say Philadelphia Flyers.
No way.
Philadelphia Eagles, the White House.
You said you would have handled that situation a little bit differently.
I'm curious.
What's your take on this?
Well, let me first of all say the Eagles tried to set the president up for an embarrassment.
Right.
You know, the whole team was invited.
They all cleared security and then it became known that when it got down to it only one of the Eagles maybe two or three would have even shown up.
And so it would have been an embarrassing situation not just for the president but for the Eagles.
They didn't care.
They wanted it to be that.
But what I suggested was I think the president should have said you know as many of you as want to come.
Come on.
And then show them the time of their lives, give them all kinds of White House swag, take them up to the private quarters, walk them through the whole facility, and absolutely make it the best day of their lives, and let them go back and say, my gosh, the president treated me like a king.
You know, I think it would have been a great way to do the totally unexpected thing.
And in politics, I subscribe to the view, do what people least expect you to do, push them back on their heels, and never give them the pleasure of You know, having you do what they thought you would do.
But they are professional football players, so it would be pretty hard to exceed expectations at this point.
Multi-multi-millionaires.
They need some free swag for sure.
I don't think a tote bag will do, but maybe if they had like a, like if Donald, President Donald Trump had a water slide from his bedroom going out to the pool like in blank check, you know.
He does.
He has that.
Does he have that?
It wouldn't surprise me.
Yeah, my daughter, she takes her kids on that water slide all I want to go straight for the rube, right to the pool.
No sud touches this gold, okay?
They would go back and they would say, listen, it was a lot of fun.
I do wish he just wouldn't have made it so public.
I just would have not said anything and invited another team who would have been happy to come and then have them there.
There are a multitude of ways I can handle it.
I do like your idea.
Your show is on TBN on Saturdays at 8 and 11, right?
No, it's called Huckabee.
Was your other show called Huckabee?
It was.
We couldn't come up with a better name.
I'll tell you the show is very similar except we're doing it in Nashville.
Okay.
We have an amazing studio, big theater.
We have about a thousand people that come be part of the show.
Wow.
And it's enough politics, Stephen, as you remember from my Fox show.
And it's fun.
But we do a lot of things that are not being done on TV anymore.
We've got comedians, acrobats, a lot of music.
Of course, we're in Nashville.
Right.
You're gonna have music on the show.
Yeah.
And it's a fun, wholesome, entertaining variety show.
I think people will enjoy it.
And you don't have to spend as much time anymore in that cesspool of where dreams go to die in New York City.
You can spend more time in Nashville.
I do not go there very much, which I'd much rather go to Nashville every week.
Well, you know what?
Maybe we'll come out sometime to the live studio audience and do a show here on this show about your show.
It'll be like Inception, the shows within the shows, and we'll bring out Yakov Smirnoff and have him tell a few jokes.
I love it.
All right.
I love that.
Thank you.
At govmikehuckabee.
You can watch the show on TBN 8 and 11.
Thank you so much, Governor.
Go heal up.
Drink some honey tea.
I will.
We got to the place where the dreams are in the sky.
A long, long time ago, I can still remember when contestants used to wave and smile.
you But I knew if feminists had their way, they would make the whole thing gay.
And Miss America would be a transqueer fatty named Kyle.
The news cycle filled me with dread, with every blog post that I read.
Duty is now seen as unfair.
It's all about acne and green hair.
I can't imagine what they meant when they said there'd be no swimsuit event.
They said that it was because it was obscene, but we all know it was to hide the tranny's wings.
So bye bye Miss America's thighs.
Drove my priest with no weenus singing me to or die.
And the gender studies boys were drinking soy and cried.
Gender roles are a patriarchal lie.
They screamed gender roles are a patriarchal lie.
So bye bye Miss America's thighs.
Drove my Prius without no weenus.
Hashtag me too or die.
And the gender studies boys were drinking soy and crying.
Maybe gender roles are a patriarchal lie.
Next Miss America will be David Hogg.
🎵 Music 🎵 🎵 Music 🎵
🎵 Music 🎵 🎵 Music 🎵
🎵 Music 🎵 Nothing changed if you click there!
Does hair float?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was too busy reenacting Jaws.
Talk about narcissists.
We're both in our own world here.
Thank you so much to Razorfist.
Thank you so much to Governor Mike Huckabee.
And our apologies to Sargon of Akan.
We'll have him back on soon.
Thank you to Owen Benjamin.
Of course, follow him on, well, he's not on Twitter, but on YouTube at Owen Benjamin Comedy.
Has some tour dates coming up.
Yep.
Some big dates.
And we have some big Change My Minds coming up soon.
We're going to be rattling off a few of them, including one for 4th of July.
And we'll see what happens with the hidden camera situation we've been working on for a little bit.
And those are hit or miss.
So a lot of work going on behind the scenes.
And yeah, you were about to say something.
The point I was thinking about earlier was... Before your point, that's what I was thinking.
I'm afraid of wet hair since The Ring.
Remember that trend?
I don't like wet hair at all.
Do you remember that trend?
It was The Ring and The Grudge.
It was like, oh, you want to make the movie scary?
Have a dead girl with wet hair.
Yeah.
I blow-dry my hair before I go to bed.
I can't sleep with wet hair.
I can't do anything.
I can't function.
You blow-dry your hair?
Yeah, every day.
You blow-dry your hair?
Yeah, every day.
Okay, go on with your point there.
As though people are still listening.
You can take off the glasses, by the way.
NotKJaren has been a trooper.
He can't see anything.
I can't see crap.
There are no lenses.
Oh, really?
Yeah, there's nothing.
Well, I thought there were lenses.
You said you couldn't see anything.
Oh, I can't see anything.
Oh, you can't because you don't have your glasses.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, there's your face.
Oh, well, sorry.
Maybe I'm gonna shake them off.
It sucks.
My point was that it just becomes clear and clear every day that the left hates success.
They really freaking, with the Forbes list, with Israel, they hate success.
Miss America, they hate success.
Everywhere it could be found.
We talk about the underdog.
Yeah.
They believe that the underdog always has the moral high ground.
The underdog is granted moral superiority with the left.
Now I don't, not every single, but we're talking about the left as a whole, people like the Samantha Bees of the world, the progressive left, the DNC, the media establishment.
Um, yeah, they do.
They grant moral superiority to the underdog.
Yeah.
If you're, if you're an ugly fat feminist, you are granted moral superiority over the woman who trained day and night and got ready for- Yeah, and donates her time to charities.
Yeah.
Right, exactly.
Because she's pretty.
Because she's pretty.
Yeah, even like, I think about the movie Rudy.
Like, I think most of us grew up with that thinking like, oh wow, what an inspirational story.
Then I got older, I'm like...
That's kind of BS.
Yeah, he didn't really deserve it.
He didn't really deserve that.
It's a feel-good story because everyone else feels sympathetic for him because he worked really hard, but the truth is it would have meant more if he'd have earned his spot.
And you know what?
Rudy could have maybe earned his spot somewhere else.
Yeah.
And what's funny is I can't think of... There's times in my life where I was given something that I knew I didn't earn, and it felt like... One instance was when I went to a guitar... It was like a showcase kind of thing, and I did a guitar solo.
Classic guitar.
I am awful at classic guitar.
Yeah.
Songs.
I did it in high school, and I didn't practice.
I didn't want to practice.
I was all flat out.
I skipped half of my lessons for it, and I went and did this in front of this really intimidating judge, and I botched it.
He gave me a chance in the middle to restart the whole thing, which he didn't have to do.
I did the whole thing, and I got to the end where they're passing out the awards with everybody else, and I'm thinking like, oh my gosh, all the friends, every person I've ever had a crush on is here, and I'm going to just melt when they give me an honorable mention.
Gave me a blue ribbon.
And I, sigh of relief.
But then I went home, I'm like, I didn't post it anywhere, I didn't put it up on my board, I didn't put it up, hang it above my bed, because I knew, I knew, like, that was BS.
It should not have gotten the blue ribbon.
It doesn't feel good, does it?
It didn't feel good at all.
You know what?
Babble me out, Fox News.
When they hired me, I was 21, I was the youngest contributor.
I knew, I knew, I knew, they didn't know how young I was.
But I knew it was just because I was sort of young, comedian, something they hadn't had before.
I had spanked Alan Combs on air in a debate, but I knew that I didn't, there were other people more deserving of that spot.
When I got it, I was happy, but then I worked, in contrast, I worked so hard when I was there.
I moved to New York City with no guarantees, by the way.
I was like, you're paid per appearance, and then it ended up being like, it's kind of, you know, paltry retainer when I worked for those who are coming along.
People don't realize I was at Fox News for four and a half years as an on-air contributor.
Hannity, Fox and Friends, Red Eye, I mean, all the shows, all the shows except O'Reilly.
Literally.
And I worked so hard when I was there, and I fill-in hosted, and then they had Fox News, I think it was Studio B, it was an online thing, the Fox News Strategy Room, and far fewer people watched that than watch this program, and I worked so hard and showed up for the early segments no one wanted to do.
I remember two New Years in a row I had to be up at 3 a.m.
because I was in Central time at that point and I was having to do it by satellite
and they had me do the first hour of Fox and Friends.
And I worked so hard just trying to get something off the ground because at that point
they were looking at doing some weekend programming and it didn't matter, I was literally told,
listen, it's just not gonna happen.
We're either gonna rerun O'Reilly or Hannity because it's cheaper, we're already paying them.
And if you look at their programming, but it was just rerunning this.
They would do Bill O'Reilly, I think Hannity, Greta, and they would rerun all of them like twice.
So it didn't matter what I did or how good I was.
It's just free at that point.
It's free, you're filling out a clock and selling.
It's already paid for content, yeah.
So when I got it and I didn't deserve it, I felt bad.
And then when I really knew that I gave it everything I had and wasn't given the shot that they said,
yeah, you deserve, we're just not doing that right now.
You know, I was done.
What would have been better for me?
What would have been much, much better is to give me the honorable mention,
let me deal with the embarrassment and then I'm gonna come back the next year
and blow everyone out of the water.
Because I would have gone home and be like, you know what, that's not gonna happen again.
Because I knew I was better than what I put into it, but I didn't earn it.
Would have been better for me to not get any kind of mention at all.
Long term.
Like we talked about this, everyone out there is good at something.
Long term.
You've got to find it.
When the left says, believe in yourself, you're perfect the way you are, and we don't champion
that cause.
We say, well, hold on a second, you're not perfect the way you are, and sometimes maybe
you shouldn't believe in yourself.
But the left doesn't want you to believe in yourself.
They want you to feel good in the moment.
They want you to feel good.
They want everyone to feel good.
Okay, believe in yourself.
You know what?
I think that I would be a really good Miss America.
No, no, no, no, no.
We can't have that.
Believe in yourself.
You know what?
I think I could become an NBL officer.
No, no, no.
We need to have a certain amount of money for me.
Everyone needs to be the same.
They don't want you to believe in yourself.
The only way to truly believe in yourself, the only way to truly have self-confidence is to earn it and to believe in what you're able.
What does believe in yourself mean?
Think about that for a second.
Let's say you've talked about this as one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard where you said, I was talking about my grandfather-in-law who had built two houses with his bare hands.
And you said, we could probably learn to do it.
I said, there's no way I would trust myself.
I wouldn't go on the second floor.
No, exactly.
So what is believing in yourself?
You can build a house.
Believe in yourself.
If you know you're not good at it, you don't believe in yourself.
You believe in yourself when you achieve something.
When you achieve excellence.
And the left doesn't want you to believe that.
The left, really, because they want to remove everything that makes us unique.
They want you to be another faceless number.
And here's one thing, too.
I've changed a little bit.
This is why we've spoken out against this.
This is why we've been a little bit harsher with Samantha Bee.
If there's one thing, you want to talk about believing in yourself?
Listen, if you keep making the same mistake over and over and you don't judge yourself, you need to be a little judgmental of yourself.
If you don't make those harsh judgments on yourself, you're never going to correct it.
You're going to keep making the mistake, and you will not believe in yourself.
And I've changed this a little bit, where I've had a lot of people email in and say, what should I do?
I'm in college.
My professors are further left, and should I speak out?
And I've said, well, listen, I don't blame you.
If you want to get your degree, you want to keep your grades up, probably keep it quiet.
You want to work in the entertainment industry, probably keep it quiet.
I will tell you this.
You want to believe in yourself?
You want to talk about mistakes that you've made?
There is none greater, and this is why I've been changing to every letter that I answer, none greater for destroying your own self-esteem.
That's actually one thing you recommended, Fargo.
That entire show, the theme is about confronting cowardice.
There are a few things that I can say specifically as a man.
I'm sure it's the same with women.
I'd like to hear from you.
Maybe if they're treating somebody really well, women are getting catty and you've stayed quiet.
I remember one time I stayed quiet when they were bullying a kid named Tony and I just stayed quiet.
This was in grade school because this was the first time I was not being the one bullied.
And remember, they were bullying him because he said, we were talking about the Transformers, and we had to do a book report, and he was talking about this in front of class, and he said, the Predacons, or sorry, the Decepticons, and the Autobots.
Now, at that time, the show Beast Wars, or Beasties, if you were in the States, was big, and so they were called the Predacons.
These were the villains in the new, but the original Transformers, he was right, the Decepticons.
And the whole class laughed at him, and they started making fun of him.
And I knew what he meant, I knew he was right, and no one said anything, and I didn't say anything.
And you know what?
I felt bad about that for so long.
There are very few times in my life where I can say that I look back and I'm like, man, I should have stood up.
I should have stood up.
I should have said something.
There are a couple others.
Some are personal.
Maybe I'll get into it at some point.
Maybe I won't.
But I tell you what, those are the things that keep me up at night.
So if you want self-esteem, you want to believe in yourself.
Be your own rainbow.
You want to actually have true self-belief.
Be good at something, and I will tell you what, the mistake that will keep you up at night is cowardice.
So I change that advice.
When you're in college, listen, you know the fight that's going on out there.
If you want to be in the entertainment industry, be vocal, be bold.
It's the only way this is going to change.
If you want to change the campus culture, be vocal, be bold.
Because there are a lot of mistakes that you can make.
You can forget to carry the one.
You can make mistakes in relationships and maybe behaviorally, and you can learn to improve upon that.
But cowardice is something that usually you've got to split We've got a split moment before you decide not to say anything.
We've got a split moment before you decide to tuck tail and run away.
And I will tell you, it is a terrible feeling and nothing, and I mean nothing out there, will eat away at your self-confidence, at your self-esteem, and destroy your life like the repeated act of cowardice.
So think of it.
All of us have these areas in some part of our life where we're cowardly and we even try to avoid.
Or maybe it's some instance that you know you acted wrong.
You know you acted out of cowardice and you need to fix.
Do it.
Do it because I guarantee, you do that right away, it's gonna be a weight lifted off your shoulders, and all of a sudden you're gonna have self-esteem.
And you don't need equal outcomes.
You just need to do the right thing.
There is nothing more toxic to your soul than repeatedly acting out of cowardice.
Believe me, I've done it.
You'll burn for it.
I know what I'm talking about.
We're gonna see you next week.
Monday, a big change my mind.
Speaking of which, I think that's pretty bold.
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