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July 22, 2016 - Louder with Crowder

02:20:58

#83 OMG MILO BANNED AND RNC! Christopher Titus and Dana Loesch | Louder With Crowder

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	You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
	Politics.
	Civility.
	How about honesty in this country, folks?
	Entertainment.
	I don't like entertainment.
	And a whole bunch of other stuff.
	It's about having a healthy body image.
	If you have a very unhealthy body, you should have a horrible body image.
	Not a big home improvement market in Detroit.
	We are definitely going to get letters.
	You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
	You're a strange animal.
	You're getting louder with Crowder.
	Glad to be with you.
	That is the sound of the weekend.
	I am your host...
	Steven Crowder producing with me in video studio as always is NotGayJarred.
	You can follow him on Twitter at NotGayJarred.
	He is not gay.
	I'll fulfill my legal obligations.
	draw your own conclusions.
	We're good, right?
	We are good, finally.
	We are good.
	Finally, that's right.
	We had some issues with the stream going on.
	We're moving some stuff to new equipment and we had a power...
	I don't know.
	I don't know exactly what happened.
	So we're a little bit late.
	For those listening on syndicated radio, you don't know the difference.
	It matters not to you.
	Big show this evening.
	A lot going on.
	We have Christopher Titus on, notoriously anti-Second Amendment stand-up comedian.
	We were kind of going back and forth trying to get him on, scheduling issues.
	Kudos to him.
	He showed up.
	Dana Lash, new NRA spokesperson.
	I have to say person because she doesn't have a wiener.
	She speaks for the NRA now.
	She's in charge of women's issues.
	And we have a new game.
	Hipster or Hobo will be playing with Brodigan later.
	A new game.
	Yes, sir.
	We, of course, also are announcing our finalists for the Golden Ticket Hiring Spree for video producers and announcing some new positions that are available.
	How many people did we have apply last week?
	Knock it, Jared.
	A couple hundred, I think.
	A couple hundred going through.
	So I've gone through...
	I'm pretty much caught up.
	I'm taking them as they're coming in now, so...
	We're narrowing it down to ten?
	Narrowing it down.
	Narrow it down to about a dozen so far.
	Okay.
	About a dozen so far.
	Okay.
	So over 200 applicants, most of you don't deserve it.
	That's true.
	Is it me?
	Probably not.
	Let's just be honest.
	Big news in the week, obviously.
	RNC happened.
	Our good friend Milo Yiannopoulos got banned from Twitter and Instagram.
	So let's kick it off with a couple of stories.
	Christopher Titus, full disclosure, had to be a pre-tape because he's in L.A.
	That's when we can make it work.
	And for those of you listening terrestrially, there's a web extended version because it got heated.
	I figured it would go long, and I didn't want Christopher to feel like we cut him down.
	A lot of people don't like the radio format since this is syndicated, so sometimes we'll pre-tape people with scheduling issues and also to promise them an open floor so it's not limited to a couple segments.
	That's at louderwithquatter.com tomorrow.
	Roger Ailes is out as Fox News head right off the bat.
	I have this up on my screen there.
	He's actually gone.
	There's been speculation for a while.
	Let's hit that right off the bat.
	That's what he said.
	I worked at Fox News for four and a half...
	Stop it.
	These are nice people.
	I worked at Fox News for four and a half years.
	Roger Ailes never groped me, personally.
	That's a relief.
	It wasn't at the time.
	Sincerely.
	I would have taken a little bit of affection, because he never liked me.
	Yeah.
	We talked about this.
	I needed some approval.
	There's a reason I can just...
	That all makes sense.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And here's the deal.
	Do I think he did...
	Listen, let me tell you again.
	Inside baseball...
	Let's not get into inside baseball.
	Megyn Kelly came out and said that 10 years ago, or it's been now, it's been discovered, or she alleged that 10 years ago he sexually harassed her.
	I will say this.
	It gives us insight into two things.
	Fox News is not the powerhouse that it once was, because at one point this wouldn't have mattered, right?
	They would have probed if there was no sexual harassment, or even if it was light.
	They were making money hand over fist.
	They would never have gotten rid of Roger Ailes.
	I also don't know how Fox News works without Roger Ailes, even though cable news is kind of going the way of the dinosaur.
	So, that being said, Megyn Kelly, if this is true, and on Inside Baseball on that, there are Okay, let's just talk about the facts.
	If it's true that she said he sexually harassed her ten years ago, you can find quotes from her within the last ten years saying, he is great, he's always had my back.
	That's a really bad person.
	If that's true.
	Now, I know I've done Megyn Kelly's show before.
	I've done pretty much every show there except for O'Reilly.
	Because if you did Hannity, you couldn't do O'Reilly.
	There was a whole silly feud.
	It was like the world's biggest high school.
	And after I left, she took some pot shots.
	So...
	That is bad.
	If someone is sexually, kind of like we've talked about this rape culture, Lena Dunham will charge the person with rape.
	If someone is legitimately sexually harassing you in the office, you have to bring it forward, because now there are several women who say that he's done that.
	If you kept quiet so you could get your spot in primetime, that's a problem.
	So problems across the board.
	That's really my only opinion on that.
	We don't have all the facts in.
	We do, however, there's a lot going on right now this week.
	The big controversy to come from the RNC is Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.
	People were asking me on Twitter to talk about it.
	You can't put this in 140 characters.
	So let's roll this clip so everyone can kind of understand the non-troversy, as some people call it.
	Stand and speak and vote your conscience.
	Vote for candidates up and down the ticket who you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the Constitution.
	Okay, so on its surface, that should seem a complete non-controversy if I've ever seen one.
	Vote your conscience.
	I understand why it is.
	Okay, I understand because when Ted Cruz has talked before about voting your conscience, he said that means voting for me.
	I understand the history there.
	Now, this is important because there are a lot of factors that could change this, and we don't know the whole story yet.
	Let's be honest.
	If you're in Ted Cruz's position, would you endorse somebody who made fun of your wife's looks and implicated your father in the assassination of JFK to be your boss?
	Would you write him the letter of recommendation to effectively be your boss?
	Probably not.
	Right?
	It would kind of be kind of a crappy thing for a man to do.
	Right.
	Really.
	It's not outside the realm of reason.
	That being said, I understand that he signed a pledge to support the Republican candidate.
	Okay?
	So I understand both sides of that argument.
	That being said, Donald Trump was going to go back on the pledge when he said, if they don't treat me fairly.
	Listen, this isn't a legally binding, you get sued by the ACLU pledge.
	I'm also guessing that there's some kind of moral turpitude clause if it is a legally binding contract, in which case making fun of someone's wife's face would probably be a violation of that.
	So people can play lawyer on Twitter, but that's just the reality, okay?
	So, a lot of broken promises.
	Self-funding the campaign from Donald Trump, from Ted Cruz, I'll never get down in the dirt, I'll never make personal attacks.
	They've all gone back on their promises, okay?
	Everyone knows I'm not a huge fan of Donald Trump.
	And we've had Ted Cruz in the program, and we've had Carla Furian, and we've had a few candidates in the program, not Donald Trump.
	So I understand this.
	However, strategically, this was a gross misstep from Ted Cruz.
	He should have done what Marco Rubio did.
	Not show up.
	Hey, I've got work to do.
	Send in a nice, generic, positive video supporting the Republican platform.
	Now, let me explain to this.
	He needs to fire all of his handlers.
	And I do think that there is, as with all politicians, ego gets involved in ego kills.
	Let me explain why.
	What's the biggest knock against Ted Cruz, right?
	The perception.
	Whether it's true or false, is that he's a self-serving, self-promoting politician, right?
	Yep.
	That's what people say about him.
	Lying Ted.
	He'll say anything to get publicity.
	True or false, that's a knock against him.
	So here he was provided effectively with two options.
	Stay home, do the Marco Rubio, or even John Kasich, who kind of has a legitimate excuse being a governor of where these events are taking place.
	I'll give you that one, Kasich.
	Even though I can't stand him.
	You know he's all home crying, though.
	Mr.
	Bring the Zima to the party.
	That's option number one.
	Option number two, again, the criticism against you as you're a self-serving, spotlight-hogging politician is, and I'm assuming his advisor said to do this, go to the RNC, take the spotlight, generate a controversy, and not endorse the Republican candidate.
	And then double down on that the next day.
	Whether he should endorse Donald Trump or not, that's a really bad move.
	And I don't see a net positive outcome from that for Ted Cruz.
	I can't possibly see a net positive.
	What's going to happen?
	What could he possibly gain from this?
	He's already the furthest, whether you like him or not, the most consistently conservative, furthest to the right senator probably of the last several decades.
	He tossed Rand Paul in there in government.
	So he's not going to gain any more conservative fans.
	And, frankly, he's probably lost a couple of the really conservative fans because there are a lot of people who wanted him, but they say, okay, Donald Trump, we have to do it.
	I will say this, Donald Trump is still remarkably better than Hillary.
	I don't think we have great options left.
	So I don't see any...
	You can tweet me at S. Crowder if you think I'm wrong.
	I don't see any net positive gain for Ted Cruz making this move.
	And I've got to...
	Now, a couple things that could change this, right?
	Some people have said, and Donald Trump said that he read the speech before Ted Cruz went out there.
	So this changes everything.
	Let me throw a few variables why I didn't express an opinion right away.
	If Donald Trump and their campaign saw this entire speech and begged him to show up and asked him to go, as people are alleging...
	And then orchestrated the boos and ginned the crowd up into booing Ted Cruz?
	Well, that's a setup.
	And that's really crappy.
	If Ted Cruz submitted a speech, asked to get stage time, as has also been alleged, and then switched it, went off book, that's a really underhanded move.
	That's not acting on good faith if Donald...
	So those can change the entire situation as far as the character issue.
	You may think he needs to endorse Donald Trump, or you may think he shouldn't endorse Donald Trump.
	I understand that.
	Again, we don't know which one of those stories is true.
	And I think that changes it drastically.
	So I hope I've crystallized my opinion there.
	I just think strategically this is an error.
	What do I think happens for Ted Cruz doing this?
	Probably the same thing in Texas.
	If he runs for that seat again, might have a few less votes.
	And he probably will never have a legitimate chance of becoming president again.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think that's for sure.
	Especially, it's just too much at this point.
	And once the jury of public opinion comes at you, like we're seeing on Twitter, it's kind of hard to recover from that.
	If you show up at the RNC, take the spotlight, and you don't endorse the nominee for president of the United States...
	You look like a really low, low guy.
	You look like you wanted the best of both worlds to get the spotlight.
	Again, I understand why I wouldn't want to endorse someone who said that about his wife.
	I probably wouldn't if it were my boss.
	I understand the rules are a little different here.
	Because we have to go after the break and talk Milo Bend on Twitter, then Christopher Titus.
	Donald, this RNC, here's the thing.
	We haven't seen a big bump from the RNC right now.
	Mike Pence was kind of inconsequential.
	I hate getting wonky.
	We just had to get this all out of the way so we can get to the other stuff.
	Mike Pence was kind of inconsequential, not a game changer.
	We haven't seen a huge bump.
	Assume, and Hillary's still in the lead, assuming the DNC, let's assume they don't get any bump, kind of like the RNC, it's going to come down to the debates.
	I don't see that being the saving grace for Donald Trump against Hillary Clinton.
	So, that's the week, and then we can move on.
	It's boring, the politics, but everyone wants to talk about that.
	We'll talk about Milo getting banned, and, um, oh, uteruses is a thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	Uteri.
	Uteri.
	I have to get her plurals correct.
	Whoa, Jared, what are you doing?
	Shoot bad guys!
	With what?
	AR-15!
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com!
	Oh, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	Thank God for AR-15.com!
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web!
	Oh no, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	With your what?
	AR-15!
	From where?
	AR-15.com!
	That's the best place to go and that's the takeaway because this commercial's about to stop!
	Well, I think you'll very much enjoy your learning experience as an intern here.
	So this is actually the office where other interns work.
	And as you can see back there, there's a refrigerator.
	That's a smaller break room.
	If I move you into here, this is the Bee Studio.
	Okay.
	So this is where a lot of the online content takes place.
	And then in this room...
	What was that?
	That was Roger Ellis Motorboating Megyn Kelly.
	If I can direct you to our green room.
	room.
	Very nice.
	Thank you.
	Glad to be back after the break, Christopher.
	Christopher, we have Dana Lash first.
	Dana Lash.
	Dana Lash first.
	Spokesperson for the NRA. We'll talk to the RNC. And then the debate that gets pretty heated with Christopher Titus.
	Pretty heated.
	People have been asking me, of course, to talk about this.
	Milo...
	Stop it.
	Back to you.
	Your input tonight is like that of a high school boy in a fight circle.
	He's got...
	Brr!
	Bring a fire extinguisher!
	I was homeschooled.
	I was a very insensitive insult.
	That's true.
	You were homeschooled.
	Did you ever get into fights with your brother?
	Oh, all the time.
	Homeschooling?
	All the time.
	Then it got way bigger than me.
	And then I stopped.
	Did they have a zero tolerance policy?
	My dad was pretty firm with this.
	Pretty firm?
	Yeah.
	We had a zero tolerance policy at my school, which meant you could get your ass absolutely kicked.
	Shove the guy off of you and you still got suspended.
	That's Canada.
	By the way, in Canada, Mike Ward just got fined $35,000 for making fun of a deaf kid.
	I saw that.
	So when people say, oh, there's free speech.
	No, there is no free speech anywhere outside of the United States.
	It doesn't exist.
	That's never been a thing in Canada.
	Shut up.
	Which ties us into hashtag free Milo.
	Milo Yiannopoulos, who's been on the show.
	I mean, he was on the show back when he had a few thousand followers on Twitter.
	Just GamerCade.
	Got banned from Twitter.
	You've heard about this.
	Yes, I have.
	I never know if you stay up to date on the stories.
	He also just got banned from Instagram.
	I didn't know that until right before the show.
	So we wrote about this at ladderwithcrowder.com.
	I have it up on the screen here for those listening terrestrially, or you can go to the website.
	He got into it with that Ghostbusters, Leslie Jones.
	Yep, black comedian.
	We've talked about her on the show before.
	She is just the worst.
	Her stand-up.
	I thought she was actually pretty funny on SNL when I first saw her.
	Remember?
	I don't know which episode.
	Somewhere in like 60-something.
	Remember when I talked about it?
	I said, have you ever seen her stand-up?
	I remember it vaguely.
	Ever so vaguely.
	Literally just everything is MF, N-word this.
	Just, you know, y'all know I'm black and I'm on dark because I play basketball.
	And the audience is just rolling.
	That's a funny MF. That's the whole thing.
	It was the worst possible stereotype of a black comedian you could imagine.
	When people think of Showtime at the Apollo, like Nick DiPaolo was talking about, he went up after Salt-N-Pepa and he bombed.
	It was her.
	It was just terrible.
	It was wildly uncreative.
	So Mylonopoulos wrote a pretty scathing review of the Ghostbusters film.
	It hasn't been doing well.
	I think he...
	Surprise.
	Yeah, surprise.
	And she gets a bunch of hate mail for her.
	She retweets it.
	I have it up here on the website.
	I don't know the exact order.
	The bottom line is this.
	She went back at him.
	Milo said, oh, you're playing the victim.
	Everyone gets hate mail.
	And a bunch of people went and flooded her account with some horrible things.
	You know, from alt-right people.
	Comparing her to a gorilla.
	Creating fake tweets that she never said.
	So she got furious.
	And Jack Dorsey.
	Little Jack Dorsey over there at Twitter.
	Jack Dorsey.
	It's just nothing we can say throughout.
	Jack and the dick stock.
	I'm trying to think.
	I think of something better.
	It's a dick.
	What do you want to do?
	Jack Dorsey decides he's going to ban Milo.
	Gets personally involved.
	So, is this a free speech issue?
	No.
	A company, as Milo has said, has every right to ban whoever they want.
	It is a company lying to their users issue.
	And a social media platform is only as valuable as the trust of its users.
	And they're not consistent.
	So should they have banned Milo?
	Of course not.
	Based on what we've seen, no.
	Of course not.
	He didn't harass her.
	He didn't send anything racist at all.
	Of course not.
	And is it inconsistent?
	Absolutely.
	That being said, the people who are sending, the alt-right people who you think you're helping Milo, you're the reason Milo got banned from Twitter.
	You're the reason Milo is no longer on Instagram.
	You need to understand this.
	When you send someone a picture, a black person, comparing them to a gorilla, when you send someone an image with tweets that they never made, they attributed your actions to Milo.
	So it's important for people to know that being a, you know, a craplord, and I understand it, and it's fun, and I understand the triggering, all of that, you're the reason Milo was banned.
	Now, Twitter, they're completely inconsistent.
	People have done the same thing to me.
	We have targeted campaigns, probably right now, to flood our stream, to shut us down, to get us back, and Twitter doesn't do anything.
	They are not even remotely consistent.
	I think there are memes out there of me saying...
	Not to mention the callings for death of police by Black Lives Matter.
	Right.
	There are photos of Jack Dorsey with DeRay.
	Yes.
	It's like chilling, just like throwing it up.
	Oh, I thought you were going to say doing gay stuff.
	That happened probably after the picture was taken shortly.
	Because DeRay is just the tiniest little gay man.
	He is.
	You can fit him in your back pocket.
	He is.
	And I'm sure he has been.
	Yes.
	Back pockets and other people.
	Well, he is a rough...
	And he, by the way, was invited to the White House and says that riots are good things.
	He's talked about that.
	He's openly praised riots and lootings.
	DeRay.
	This is a guy who was invited to the White House.
	Milo writes a bad review and he's banned.
	So yeah, we want to go beyond that.
	It's just inconsistent.
	Of course we get that.
	Now, if I'm Twitter...
	Do I ban people who are creating false tweets and attributing them to someone?
	I can understand why they would.
	Because not only is that not a free speech issue, it's a libel issue.
	Now let's say, for example, someone creates a fake tweet that looks real, photoshops it, and it has someone saying, I hate black people, Hitler was, whatever, something like that.
	They lose their job.
	Or they go to Twitter and say, hey, this isn't true, and Twitter allows that to stay.
	They do if it's against a conservative.
	If that happens, that person loses their job and Twitter let that stay on Twitter, they could probably sue Twitter and say, hey, I reported it, you allowed this to stay up, and I lost my job as a result.
	There are libel laws.
	So people need to understand that.
	And Twitter would be smart to be very careful with libel laws.
	So I understand that.
	Milo didn't do any of that.
	Did you see his tweets?
	I didn't read them verbatim, no.
	There's got to be something there if they're saying this is that bad.
	It can't just be, he said, rejected by another black dude because Leslie Jones looks like a black dude.
	So I guess that was considered really offensive.
	I mean, she's pretty mannish.
	She is.
	Remarkably mannish.
	Yes.
	She's basically a man.
	Basically Michelle Obama.
	If she were in the Olympics, you'd go, that's because of the new training rules.
	Back to you.
	That was racist.
	You don't get the right to do that.
	So, we invited Milo on the show.
	I haven't heard from Milo in a while.
	So, to be fair, people are saying, why isn't he on the show?
	You know, there are contractual issues.
	He couldn't come on to debate with Ben Shapiro.
	He worked for sites that are more controlling.
	Milo's a friend of the show.
	He's always welcome to come on.
	And, listen, I would defend anyone out there.
	Anyone.
	Who would be banned for simply saying something that's unpopular?
	This is the thing.
	The takeaway there is we believe in a form of more voices.
	Conservatives, libertarians, right-wingers, we want as many voices as possible.
	We open it up.
	Let them speak and let good ideas win.
	Even Dave Rubin says that.
	Leftists want to shut down and censor.
	Whether they have the right to with a private company, of course they do.
	But it's indicative of a spirit.
	One side wants an open forum, as many voices as possible, and one side is terrified of it.
	Deathly afraid.
	In comedy, in entertainment, in politics, that's important to note.
	And that's important to keep track of.
	But you don't need to lie and create fake tweets.
	The truth is more powerful in this instance.
	The story is enough.
	So we have, is it Dana Lash?
	Dana Lash coming up.
	Dana Lash coming up after this break.
	Spokesperson for the NRA with a uterus.
	Stay tuned.
	For breaking news on Lover with Crowder, I'm Perry Mathison.
	We take you now live to a stage of the RNC as Dr.
	Ben Carson prepares his remarks.
	Amen.
	Amen.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.
	To catch them is my real test, to train them is my call.
	I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
	It's broken much to understand The power that's inside.
	Okay, bud.
	Gotta catch em' all.
	It's you and me.
	I know it's my destiny.
	Okay, bud.
	You gotta catch em' all.
	Oh, you're my destiny.
	In a world we must defend.
	A heart so true.
	Frankly, gotta catch em' all.
	Our courage will pull us through.
	You teach me and I'll teach you.
	Pokemon.
	Gotta catch em' all.
	Gotta catch em' all.
	Okay.
	God bless America.
	We'll keep you abreast as this speech unfolds for an hour with Crowder.
	I'm Perry Mahliza.
	All right, glad to bring on our first guest, which should be more friendly than our second guest, who's not happy to be on the program.
	First guest, you know her, danaradio.com, nationally syndicated radio host, host at the Blaze TV, and newly, I guess, sort of appointed spokesperson for the NRA, Dana Lash.
	And you have a book as well.
	Yes, I do.
	I don't actually, it probably would have been smart if I would have had one sitting out here.
	It looks like this, but it's not this one.
	I was going to say, that's your old book.
	It's called Flyover Nation.
	You can't run a country you've never been to.
	And we get into good stuff, and I talk about how much I love Walmart.
	Do you really love Walmart, though?
	I do like Walmart.
	Where else can you go to get tampons and a tire changed?
	Well, one would argue they're very similar in nature.
	At Walmart...
	Although, Walmarts in Texas, I was talking with NotKJ about this, they're far nicer than in the Midwest.
	Yeah, they're kind of dumpy here.
	Well, because here you have Meijer, which is considered more premium.
	But Walmarts in Texas, they can have hardwood floors, they can have higher-end clothing, organic produce.
	That's not the case everywhere else.
	They're kind of like the K-Marts here.
	K-Marts doesn't exist anymore.
	Oh, no, it does.
	They converted them all to bomb shelters.
	Oh, okay.
	I've not been into a Kmart in probably a decade.
	But I do like me some Walmart.
	And you know that's not a real wood floor.
	You know that's like the vinyl or whatever that they make look like.
	You don't understand the point.
	Well, here's the thing I find odd.
	We were talking about this with Walmart, and then we'll get to the RNC and all that.
	We were talking about this this week, because we have family in Texas, and there's three Walmarts that they can choose to go to.
	They got three Walmarts?
	They got so many Walmarts.
	They closed the Walmart by me, Stephen, because they done raised them wages up to $15 an hour, and they couldn't support them wages, and so they done closed that Walmart.
	That's not why they closed it.
	They didn't raise that in Texas.
	Yeah, they did.
	They started closing all the Walmarts.
	As punishment?
	Well, my parents, there's one in an area that's kind of nicer, and they go in the opposite direction.
	It's in a less nice area.
	Here's the funny thing.
	The one that's built in a less nice area is newer.
	like crap on purpose the older one has the fake hardwood granted and it's it's organized nicely and it has more produce and then the newer one but in a worse area of town it's all the crappy linoleum and it just looks like people pick stuff up and threw it and i don't know what happened i bet you they do market research you're like hold on a second people prefer crappy walmarts in this district there might be something the floors weird me out because i i every time i walk on the floor i'm like that's not real wood It's not real wood.
	It's fake wood.
	It's not real wood.
	It's fake wood.
	Well, I don't know.
	But, I mean, you can't beat the deals there.
	Pioneer Woman just had a bunch of stuff go into the Walmart, so I like going and looking at the stuff that she has in the Walmart.
	I don't know what that is, but I assume it goes with the tires and tampons.
	The RNC is this week.
	It's a girl thing.
	It's a girl thing.
	You were someone who was relatively kind of...
	You're not never Trump.
	You've been critical of Trump.
	I don't want to misrepresent your position.
	What do you make right now of this RNC absolute, I guess, kerfuffle, brouhaha, hootenanny, whatever you want to call it?
	Well...
	It's like a Victorian freak show.
	I don't know how to put it.
	Helena Benham Carter is going to show up in makeup?
	Yeah, kind of.
	Well, I guess so.
	I mean, we have Melania, sometimes there can be a...
	I mean, I was promised, Stephen, you were promised, Mackey, Jared was promised, like a big show.
	Like, right?
	We were promised.
	I'm the kind of person, you have to understand here, and you've been in my house.
	I'm the kind of person who, I have a fog machine, and I have 10-foot spiders, and I have actual gravestones and stuff that I put out in my yard for Halloween and leave it out there until Christmas.
	And it's a big spectacle.
	Yeah.
	And so when someone says, we're going to make a big show, I go all out just for, like, Halloween at my house, or, like, Fourth of July.
	I go all out for Easter.
	I go all out for, you know, like, President's Day, if we're crying out loud.
	So when you're doing the RNC and you promised me a big show, I'm thinking, I'm going to get a big show.
	And so what I've received is, like, it's not what I was promised, and I'm disappointed because I wanted to be entertained because I don't really care to see delegates slap fight each other on the floor of the RNC. Unless I'm also fighting, I don't really care about that.
	It's not fun for me.
	What were the rules there?
	Because there are two differing sides.
	I have no idea.
	Okay, neither do I. I was going to say, I don't want to lie, and I said with my audience, the rules are so convoluted I don't get them anymore.
	This is what they're doing.
	Well, hold on.
	The people listening to wrestling, that can sound really bad.
	She was slapping other hands.
	That's going to be a gift.
	She was slapping hands was the skin contact you heard.
	Gosh.
	Good Lord.
	That's what they're doing.
	Yes.
	Anyone who hears that in the next room with teenagers is concerned people listening.
	Where's your mind at?
	Where is your mind?
	It sounds like...
	Well, okay.
	Well, then we're not getting anywhere.
	If I were for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
	It's true.
	No, it's...
	But it'd be tough to know if it's a homeless or a hipster.
	No one knows.
	No one knows.
	They both smell like pee.
	Yeah, well, then we're not getting anywhere, because I was hoping you could clarify the rules, and that's why I've refrained...
	Oh, that's so sweet.
	No, I don't.
	I don't think anyone knows the rules.
	People are like, oh, they should have a roll call.
	You're like, well, okay, that sounds like...
	Well, they changed them at the last minute anyway.
	I mean, basically, if someone comes up with a roll that someone else doesn't like and someone wants to try to get someone out of something, they're like, oh, let's just vote and change the rolls.
	That's how they do.
	Nobody knows what's going on except...
	Steven, except Texas.
	Have you seen the Texas delegation?
	God bless Texas.
	All in cowboy hats, all in Texas flag shirts and cowboy boots, because I don't think they'll let you sit with them as a delegate unless you're with the stuff.
	Well, and they're pretty organized.
	You know, I guess what I thought was so weird was with that roll call, right?
	They said there were eight or nine states, right, that wanted a roll call that had a problem with Trump.
	They were like, that might revolt the delegates.
	And then the guy just leaves the podium.
	He comes back.
	He's like, no, no, it's just six.
	What?
	No, it was more, but now it's six.
	It's under the seven.
	We're good.
	They made it to the RNC and were mad enough to say we want a roll call and we want to vote our conscience.
	And then you just had to talk with them.
	What kind of negotiation happened?
	Like, well, I guess I hadn't thought of it.
	Oh, okay.
	All right, Trump.
	I'm not saying that it's right either way with the rules, but I'm just wondering how you go from it was either eight or nine states down to six.
	And it happened within...
	That seems odd to me.
	I don't even know.
	All I saw was I was watching the coverage and then there was yelling.
	And then I love Mike Lee.
	Mike Lee was at the podium doing something.
	And then Ken Cuccinelli was kept raising.
	He was like on stage.
	I don't know what Ken Cuccinelli was doing.
	It felt, you know, it was bizarre watching it.
	I kept thinking punches are going to be thrown any second.
	Any second now.
	Come on.
	Come on.
	Somebody's going to.
	And it didn't happen.
	So our good character disappointed me.
	But it just, there was a lot of yelling and hats.
	Yeah, there were a lot of hats, and they've carried that over from the tea party.
	There's always a lot of funny hats.
	And I think the worst part about them is I think the people wearing...
	No, they've always been that way.
	Well, yes, but the worst part is I think now I think the people wearing them think that they're funnier than they actually are.
	True.
	The hats.
	Yeah, I would agree with that.
	We're kind of like, oh, okay, you got a funny A Blinken hat that's slightly too high.
	You're like, have you seen my comically high A Blinken hats?
	Oh!
	I'm so unpredictable!
	There were no furries.
	They sort of...
	It's like a half-assed Comic-Con.
	Nobody likes that.
	It's like they didn't...
	You know, they only kind of went part of the way instead of all the way.
	That's, you know...
	What?
	Is my mic still working, Jared?
	For some reason, I'm not hearing myself.
	Um...
	What do you think?
	Is it going to be President Hillary Clinton at this point?
	I mean, just considering how divided the RNC is?
	I don't know, because it's really, really close right now.
	I think one of the big tells, I think, will be the sort of bump that they get after their respective conventions.
	I think it will also who Hillary chooses as her VP. I keep saying that if she chooses Elizabeth Warren, I will never stop referencing Golden Girls.
	I will never stop playing cuts of Golden Girls.
	I will never stop, because it's...
	I'm just going to be really frank with you.
	Nobody wants to see two old ladies on the ticket.
	And I don't care if chicks get mad at me or not.
	It is what it is.
	I don't need to see two women on a ticket, particularly those two women.
	One plagiarized being an American Indian, and the other let four Americans die in Benghazi.
	So really don't want either of them.
	But if she's going to pick somebody, try to go as least offensive as you can.
	So she'll probably pick the non-Spanish-speaking one of the Castro brothers who did a Lindsay Lohan swap down at the San Antonio Riverwalk parade several years ago.
	The guy who just broke federal law, Julian Castro, who heads up, he's over at HUD, the Secretary of HUD. So I don't know.
	I think it depends on who she picks as a VP. I think it depends on what kind of bump they get from their conventions.
	All I know is that next time, whoever the RNC chairman is, if they don't call Dana Does Conventions...
	Which is going to be my new business and say, hey, we suck out loud at this.
	I need you to come and select all the music because, Stephen, I already have it all planned out in my mind.
	Day one, it would have been the lights would have went down and I have fog machines.
	So I brought my fog machines and we would have spaced them out around the stage and smoke.
	We'd have like a light, a white light illuminate the bottom of the stage and you could have seen the fog.
	And all of a sudden the opening chords of Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses would have played.
	And then the lights go crazy and the delegates have no idea what the hell is happening because they've never experienced anything like this, right?
	So the lights are going crazy and the music is getting louder.
	And then all of a sudden the candidates, the nominee and the VP and their families in inner circle rush out onto the stage.
	And then they run down in front of the stage and they high-five all of the delegates with their crazy hats in the front.
	That's how you start a convention.
	Whatever the hell they did is not how you do it.
	I know the guy who does it.
	Well, he's sucking.
	Yeah, he just goes, he goes, all right, listen, let's let them all take the stage, get their non-profit some money so they get some stage time, put on Best Of Rascal Flats, and get them some damn funny hats.
	We're done.
	Here's the other thing.
	They had Lieutenant General Flynn walk out on stage.
	My theme song for him, his walkout would have been Bombs Over Baghdad by Outkast.
	And then I would have tried to persuade Big Boy to walk in with a marching band because Big Boy's not a liberal.
	I think he's a libertarian or a conservatarian.
	I would have seen if he wanted to come in with a marching band and walk Flynn through the main aisle and up on the stage.
	That's how you do a convention.
	Yeah, I don't think that.
	Instead, you get, like, every other candidate comes out to, life is a highway, I've been a highway all night long.
	I like the Rascal Flatts, but my God, I want to stab myself in the eyes when it plays for the umpteenth time at convention or at CPAC. I'm just like, stop it, with the Rascal Flatts.
	No, I think you have a good idea, good plan there.
	So, okay, well, listen, let's move on from RNC, because at this point it's just political speculation.
	Well, can I ask a question?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, Dana, was it a misstep for, as a woman?
	For Trump to not pick a woman as the VP. I think it would have been a misstep for him if he just, you know, went with a chick just to go with a chick.
	Sure.
	I mean, he doesn't get along with Susanna Martinez.
	I don't know who else he would have picked that would have been uniquely qualified or had some sort of name recognition that would have boosted him.
	I don't want to feel like I'm being pandered to.
	I don't want somebody to pick a chick just because you feel like, oh, I guess we need a chick, because then they're going to pick some dumb chick that, you know, no, nobody wants to see that.
	Like Elizabeth Warren.
	Yeah, like Elizabeth Warren, fake Indian.
	No, I don't think necessarily that they had to.
	I would vote for Hillary Clinton if this happened.
	We don't need an estrogen party just for the sake of having an estrogen party.
	And sometimes you can have too much.
	I would vote for Hillary Clinton if this happened.
	If Elizabeth Warren walked out in the cheapest dollar store Pocahontas costume to announce her vice presidency and went...
	I'd slap my money on the table and I would vote for Hillary Clinton.
	That is the only way I would vote for Hillary Clinton, is if Elizabeth Warren comes out in a cheap Pocahontas costume and goes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	If we were able to go back in time and she gave Chris Stevens the security that he needed and didn't leave all those people to die in Benghazi, and didn't sell secrets to China and all of that other stuff, then I would be like, you know what?
	I'm still not going to vote for you.
	Even if she put on the cheap Pocahontas costume and went, what?
	$12.99 Amazon.
	You know, I went as Elizabeth Warren for one Halloween.
	I was a blonde in.
	Really?
	No, I guess that's racist, but it's acceptable.
	Can't be because I'm 3-8, so it doesn't matter.
	That's true.
	You are 3-8.
	So, hey, do you get that Native American money?
	No, and I wouldn't do any of that anyway.
	I think we're far removed from that.
	I think you're going to be like 100%.
	Cash in!
	No.
	Why not?
	It's there.
	Someone else is going to take it.
	I don't believe.
	Well, then they can take it and they can go to hell for taking it.
	At least drink some Windex or something.
	Honor their culture.
	Host an illegal cockfighting ring.
	Do something.
	You're a horrible Native American.
	Well, I'm just, this is my ancestry, so.
	But, yeah, no.
	We have to go to a break, and we'll bring Dana back.
	I guess, you know, let's talk more about, let's get off the RNC, and we'll talk about uteruses.
	Uteri?
	We need to pander to women, because our male demo is too skewed.
	Boobs.
	Boobs, spelled E-W-B-S. It's a Pokemon.
	That's why we're hip.
	We're with you.
	Progressive 9-1-1, what is your emergency?
	Hi, 9-1-1.
	I'm at 845 Grasmere Drive.
	There is a man who's broken into my house.
	I am in my bedroom with my smart gun aimed at the door.
	What do I do?
	Thank you for letting us know we have dispatched police officers, so you have a smart gun, correct?
	Yes, I do.
	That's great.
	That's as safe as you can be because nobody else can fire that weapon.
	Excellent choice.
	Okay, I think he's getting through the door.
	Now, are you aware of how to unlock that smart firearm?
	I think so.
	Do I just put my grip on here?
	That is right.
	Make It's not working!
	It's still not working!
	Of course!
	There's someone breaking into my house!
	I'm sweating bullets!
	Of course my hands are damp!
	Come on!
	That's a problem.
	What do you mean it's a problem?
	It's not working.
	How is it a problem?
	Well, not like your smartphone.
	If your hands aren't at all, even the least bit damp, the rear will look funny.
	Okay, so what do I do?
	Unlock it remotely.
	Hey, the guy's getting in.
	You're probably gonna die.
	You're a strange animal, that's what I know But you're a strange animal, I've got to follow Oh, wow Glad to be back.
	With us is host of the show.
	You can find everything at DanaRadio.com, Blaze TV, spokesperson for the NRA, and the new book, Fly Over Country.
	Did I have that right, Dana?
	Fly Over Nation, you can't run a country you've never been to.
	I can never get these books right.
	Such a bad person.
	I don't read the books.
	I don't believe in them.
	No, I think that's a good point.
	I mean, really, when we're talking about people, whether it's...
	Oh, okay, hey, hey, let me ask you about this.
	Roger Ailes.
	Oh, jeez.
	What?
	What?
	I've never met him, so I don't know.
	Oh, okay.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I just figured that's like...
	Anonymous letters, perhaps?
	What?
	Did he ever try to grab your butt, Stephen?
	Did you ever meet Roger?
	He didn't personally sexually harass me.
	Did he just like...
	Well, I know he didn't particularly like me, from what I heard.
	I worked there for four and a half years.
	I never met him.
	And the people, God bless them, were VPs, were like, I don't think he gets it.
	He finds you kind of offensive.
	Like, that was sort of the vibe.
	And they were like, but we get it.
	You're golden.
	So for four something, I think four and a half years, I never met him.
	And there was just this cloud of, like, when I got called into the second floor, like, Did you make a rape joke at CPAC about Ashley Judd?
	No, I didn't make a rape joke about Ashley Judd.
	I made a rape joke about her comparing buying iPhones to rape, and I had to explain it.
	Oh, I remember that.
	Remember that?
	So, that was my experience.
	So, no sexual harassment for you?
	No, I've never even met him, so...
	What about anyone else at Fox?
	Give us the dirt.
	I'm never in New York.
	I go to New York every now and then.
	So I don't really hear any kind of gossip.
	And I don't know if it's just because people are like, she's not here so we can't tell her.
	I don't know, but I don't hear.
	I kind of feel left out.
	Because I don't hear the gossip.
	Even though you're not in New York, you know those hand extensions that you squeeze to grab beer cans and stuff?
	Roger Ailes has been known to use those across state lines and get a grab.
	Oh, no.
	I was waiting that he was out.
	Or maybe it was speculation.
	I think he's out.
	Stop it!
	I see the writing on the wall for Fox News just because of a lot of cable news in general, but I don't know that Fox News functions without Roger Ailes.
	For them, even if there's an issue, even if these allegations are true, the devil you know.
	It's better than the one you don't, right?
	Yeah, I don't know who they would have to take his spot.
	I don't know if one of Murdoch's kids would do it, or I'm not quite sure.
	Or if maybe they would elevate one of the VPs, they would promote them.
	That's a good point.
	Okay, so when was the new NRA? So you're a spokesperson now.
	Was that a month ago?
	Yeah, it was like a month or so ago, a special advisor on lady issues to Wayne LaPierre and then serving as one of the national spokespeople for them, too.
	So they're a good organization.
	They've done a lot of good stuff for Second Amendment rights, and they were there with the Otis McDonald case in Chicago.
	They were there assisting also with Heller in a lot of these.
	And they also watch out for a lot of state and local issues, too, because it's really easy to watch Everything that's happening at the federal level, those are the sexy stories to watch.
	But what people don't realize, like some of the stuff that was going on in Hawaii, for instance, they have gun registration now in Hawaii.
	And I know the NRA was pushing back against that.
	They have a very low gun homicide rate in Hawaii, which made it really weird that they would want to create a registry.
	So now if you live in Hawaii, whatever you own, you have to register with the state of Hawaii.
	And likely...
	That's not going to be something that will be overturned, just because even if it gets up to the Circuit Court of Appeals, whichever one out there in the Western District, none of those judges out there are going to move to repeal or overturn that law.
	So that was really disappointing to see, but it's a good organization.
	To consult on, you said, lady issues.
	So what does that mean?
	Well, I'm a for women's issues, advisor on women's issues, because it's a huge demographic, not just particularly within the hunting community and women going out and getting their concealed carry, but also women involved in the shooting sports.
	A lot of women are going out and purchasing firearms now.
	In fact, when I was at the FFL that we go to, which is a gun store here in Dallas, I went there to make a purchase, and then I was, like, looking at this Desert Eagle that I really, really want to get, but it's, like, over $2,000, and so that would go my kids' college money.
	Anyway, when I was there, there were more women in that store than men, and I just happened to look up.
	There were two women behind the counter that were assisting, and there were about eight other women in the store and three other men, including my husband, and I just thought that was kind of interesting because it used to never be like that, and I mean, these are These aren't women who are just like, I just want something that shoots.
	I mean, these are knowledgeable women, and you know, Stephen, you've met them.
	I mean, these are knowledgeable women who, they go and purchase a firearm, and they understand that there's no magic that transfers knowledge about that gun, so they go out and they train.
	They train, they learn how to shoot their firearm, they learn how to service it, they learn the whole nine yards.
	This is not a trick question, okay?
	Because you've met my wife, so you don't feel like you need to answer yes if you haven't.
	It's not a trick question.
	Have you ever fired an airway J-frame revolver.38?
	Smith& Wesson.
	Yeah.
	Airweight.
	Okay.
	That is probably, and most people will tell you, instructors, that's probably the hardest firearm to shoot, barring maybe like a little Derringer.
	But the point is it weighs, you know, depending on what you have, you can get the centennial weight.
	That was my first EDC. Okay, there you go.
	It's not easy to shoot at all.
	Now, I had not fired it, and my wife bought it, and she was training with it.
	So I was firing with a full-size.357 that I had at that time, and she had some reasons to get it, you know, and she had it with the laser grips, and she was firing.
	I go, how was it?
	She's like, you know, it's not as fun to fire as yours, but, you know, I can do it, and, you know, it seems to work.
	It's pretty accurate.
	Jared, not gay Jared, when I went to the range, when I first started firing it, it's like a bomb.
	There's no weight, and it's just all recoil in your hand.
	Oh, it sucks.
	It has a recoil.
	You just have to, I mean, it's all down to your grip, and you've got to bear down on it.
	And depending on how your trigger is, I'd have my trigger lightened, because my trigger, I mean, that's the safety feature of it.
	Right, but I mean, that's, and she just was, she was like, well, you know, and she just learned to fire.
	She didn't complain.
	She just practiced with it.
	Yeah, I mean, it's a, I liked it.
	That was my first, that was my first firearm that I carried when I got my concealed carry permit in Missouri.
	It's a great firearm.
	I felt comfortable with it.
	You know, it was good.
	M&P is really good, 9mm.
	I have a Glock 19 that I carry.
	I have a Sig Sauer.
	I have, like, the Bennington, the United Colors of Bennington firearm collection.
	But my point is, more women...
	I got a little Caltech P32, too, which is nice.
	I can just...
	Okay.
	Not Gay Jared is going to get into a war because he hates Caltech.
	Let's not start the feud right now, Not Gay Jared, you pompous jerk.
	Where can people best find you, Dana, before we have to leave?
	Danaradio.com.
	Danaradio.com.
	And then shifting gears after that, we're going to have Christopher Titus on, who is anti-firearm.
	But yeah, I would love to see more women out there with firearms.
	More than men.
	I would love to see more women owning firearms.
	So Dana, do your part.
	I'll do my part.
	And then, like I said, the only way I vote...
	Arm the men, arm the women, arm the gays.
	Yes.
	Not quite sure about the T in the LGBT because there are some other issues.
	We have to go to a break.
	Louder with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	Dana Radio, everybody.
	First, thank you so much for this job interview opportunity.
	I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
	Yeah, of course, yeah.
	It's always been a dream of mine to work here, and just to even have a chance means the world to me.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Of course I'm giving it a chance.
	So, I know you've seen my resume, and you've seen my reel.
	What is it that I need to do to convince you that I'm the right fit here?
	God, hold on, sir.
	I will many help you.
	Show me your breasts!
	What?
	Show me your breasts!
	I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you underneath your mumbling.
	It sounded like you said, show me your breasts.
	I wouldn't dream of it!
	Let me touch your butt!
	Now are you asking to touch my butt?
	Just go back to the breasts!
	Mr.
	Ailes, I'm incredibly uncomfortable with this.
	I'd be more comfortable with your breasts than my face.
	Okay, Roger.
	I'm leaving.
	Fine!
	You'll never work at this!
	Toll again!
	Fair and balanced!
	Alright, if you're wondering why there's no music to people listening right now, that's because this is a pre-tape.
	And this guest was elusive.
	We wanted to get him on.
	We have him on before he comes on.
	Jared, your name is on the line as a producer.
	I just want to make it clear, because people have given you flack.
	What's the timeline here so we can hopefully get to the arguments?
	Because he wants to make me cry.
	That was how this all started.
	Alright, timeline.
	We tried to pre-tape last week.
	Internet connection was crap, so we all agreed let's circle back around for Tuesday.
	Well, last time also we agreed at 2, but we ended up pre-tapping, what, hours later?
	Yeah, hours later.
	So we tried again hours later, and so we are trying.
	This week we said, hey, we'll confirm on Monday for the 2 p.m.
	Eastern time.
	So I sent a message yesterday via Twitter DM saying, hey, confirm, confirm.
	No answer this morning.
	Confirm, confirm via both DM and through phone text messaging.
	Do you leave a voicemail?
	Let the voicemail at 1.22 p.m.
	Eastern Time.
	There's another text at 9.30 a.m., 11.53, and 1.54 p.m.
	Okay.
	All today.
	I just want to make sure.
	Mr.
	Titus, thanks for being here.
	Is any of that untrue?
	I am looking at my phone right now, and I do not have a voice message from him.
	But the text and the direct messages, all of those?
	In my DM, yeah.
	So let me be honest with you, man.
	Okay.
	Look, you talk about integrity a lot.
	I live in integrity.
	Even the comedy I write, I bust my ass.
	I screwed up last week, and I thought it was going to be 2 o'clock Pacific.
	That's my fault.
	So then I said I'm going to be here.
	But you guys hadn't really confirmed that before, so I said I'm going to be here.
	Now, here's my thing.
	You actually jumped on me last week, but I didn't show up.
	Turn that off.
	No, hold on a second.
	No.
	Sorry, sorry, sorry, my phone.
	I'm trying to close it.
	Let me clarify something.
	This is important for you to know.
	It's important for you to know.
	The reason we jumped on you was because we pre-taped Nick DiPaolo because you didn't show.
	So we rushed.
	That was taped before you and I clarified.
	I went on Twitter, said, all right.
	It's totally my mistake.
	We'll have him next week.
	Yes, last week was my mistake.
	But is that accurate that I afterward, I said, listen, we'll remedy it.
	We'll have it this week.
	And Jared said let's confirm, and he's been trying to confirm, and you haven't.
	I already did.
	I already did confirm.
	I confirmed last week.
	Why can't you answer a single text or a phone call?
	I said I would be there.
	I got a life, man.
	I produced a movie.
	I just did my comic special.
	So here's the thing.
	With me, I say I'm going to be there.
	I'm going to be there.
	You're a martial artist.
	I'm a martial artist, right?
	I said I was going to be there.
	I took responsibility for my mistake last week.
	I said I was going to be there.
	Flat out.
	I don't know if martial arts has anything to do with that.
	Because anybody who will spend that much time getting a black belt has a lot of integrity.
	I don't have a black belt.
	You don't?
	I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
	It takes like 12 years.
	So what do you do?
	Mudaquan, Taekwondo.
	Six years.
	Six years of training in Mudaquan, Taekwondo.
	All right, listen.
	Here's the point.
	It's a whole style.
	Right.
	Not Olympic style.
	Yeah, I know.
	Where you bob around so your head is lined up like a t-ball Olympic style.
	So I know actually we've...
	Yeah, Olympic style against them.
	No, I know.
	Tag, you're it.
	Here's the point.
	We have a show.
	You run a show.
	And if I offer you a car for $10,000 today, you can't come back a month later and say it.
	We're on the phone.
	Are we still talking about the time?
	Are we still going to talk about that?
	Well, I think it matters because you were the one who decided to go online and said it.
	I mean, clearly, yes, you did.
	Yes, you did.
	You went public.
	So go ahead.
	You said you were going to make me cry.
	That's what you wanted to do on gun control.
	So the floor is yours.
	Honestly, the floor is yours.
	Hit me with it.
	Make me cry.
	Because you drew first blood here, not me.
	I want to ask you a question.
	No, your people drew first blood jumping on me.
	I'm going to ask you something.
	You have a gun on your head.
	My people.
	You say all the time, you say, you're listeners, you're fans.
	And by the way, some of them are really smart.
	Yeah, a lot of them are really smart.
	Well, yeah, I think we both have some smart fans.
	We probably both have some dumb fans.
	That's fair.
	I find it crazy more than dumb.
	So listen, let's start this out right now.
	Today I got mad because I thought I was sitting here at 1030 calling.
	So whatever happened with, why did you guys just disappear?
	You guys just went away.
	I'm right here.
	There you go.
	I'm right here.
	So here's what I want to say.
	You have a gun on your hip, right?
	You carry one.
	The last time I heard, I listened to one of your things.
	You had the gun on your hip in the studio, right?
	Depends on when.
	I don't know.
	You just said you had it.
	Sometimes you carry a gun on your hip.
	Sometimes I have a firearm.
	Right, got it.
	Okay, got it.
	That's fine.
	So you're into it.
	You think you need a firearm, and it's a dangerous world.
	I think the media puts it out there.
	So here's my problem with this whole gun thing.
	I've lost my mother and my sister to guns, and my mother shot and killed my third stepfather.
	I also, just to be totally transparent with you, I have four relatives in the military.
	One was an army colonel.
	I have my cousins over.
	He's EOD right now.
	He's in a very hot place defusing bombs, keeping us safe.
	I've got...
	My father-in-law, my other father-in-law, my second marriage, is a marine colonel.
	And I've got my Uncle Dennis, who is UDT, which is an original Navy SEAL. I also have another friend of mine who actually did a good guy with a gun incident.
	Now, this guy trained with SWAT every two weeks for years.
	Came home one day, there was two guys in his house.
	Because he was so well-trained, he heard it, went back to his truck, got his lockbox out, got his gun, came in at low ready, killed one of the guys, shot the other guy.
	All the way to good guy with a gun.
	All right, one second real quick, because I just want you to know, especially since we're pre-taping and we are late now, this show is syndicated, so there are commercial breaks.
	We're doing a courtesy of not doing any music.
	We'll try and do web extended.
	So I do need to keep this along at a relatively quick clip.
	All of that led into you are qualified.
	So I just want to be sure.
	So you are qualified.
	To talk about it.
	Okay, here's the thing.
	Let's just assume neither one of us graduated grade school.
	Let's assume that both of us have a room temperature IQ and let this conversation rest on the arguments and ideas.
	That's the most fair way.
	So what does that have to do with a gun on my hip that's going to make me cry?
	You can keep saying that.
	Well, that's how this conversation was introduced.
	If you want to look for constructive discussion, you don't usually say I'm going to make a grown man cry.
	So go ahead.
	What does that have to do with the gun on my hip?
	Someone said you were going to hand my ass to me on your show.
	I responded to them because I'm a comedian.
	I actually get paid for it.
	I make a living.
	Let's remove that.
	What does that have to do with the gun on my hip?
	And what does that have to do with the Second Amendment?
	The people that walk...
	The Second Amendment.
	Second Amendment is an amendment.
	Now, a lot of people say it's throw the Second Amendment up.
	Now, the Constitution is written by a bunch of...
	Hold on a second.
	You said, gun at my hip, and then went into SWAT team because you're uniquely qualified.
	So what does that have to do with gun at my...
	What does that have to do with gun at my hip?
	You introduced it with gun at my hip, but why?
	I was just pointing that you're a gun owner.
	You walk around open carry, right?
	I never said anything about open carry.
	Well, you had it on your hip in the studio, you said, on your program, so that's open carry, isn't it?
	No.
	No, and you just displayed yourself to not be uniquely qualified.
	Sorry.
	Is that in-studio carry?
	So if you have a gun on your hip in a public place, what would you call that?
	Do you know the difference between concealed carry and open carry?
	Or a public place in a private location?
	You said it was on your hip.
	You don't know the difference between open carry and concealed carry.
	Yeah, oh, this is always your argument.
	I listen to you a lot, man.
	It's your argument.
	You don't want to talk to the issue.
	You want to get into minutiae.
	So that's fine.
	You said I have a gun on my hip, therefore open carry.
	No, no, this matters a big deal.
	This matters a big deal.
	Here's why.
	You just said you were...
	No, hold on a second.
	Let me finish.
	I let you go on for 20 minutes.
	Let me finish my statement.
	You said you are uniquely qualified.
	Fine.
	I said let's let it rest on the ideas.
	Here's the funny thing.
	You've clearly never taken a firearms course because open carry and concealed carry are entirely different things.
	Not only have I taken a firearms course, I own a Sig Sauer 9mm.
	I shot M4s in Iraq the two times I was there for the troops.
	What are you talking about?
	Why do you just assume that people know stuff?
	I was just saying you're a gun owner.
	You have not taken a licensing course in a firearm.
	Oh my God.
	Let me tell you why.
	Because I do not open carry.
	Stop!
	Stop.
	One of my best friends, Mahogany Thomas, actually started Battle of the Badges and actually teaches LAPD firearms training.
	That's who I know.
	If he didn't teach you the difference between open carry and concealed carry, he maybe should be fired.
	You said you wanted to get to it.
	You said you wanted to get to it, but why are you doing it?
	Because here's why.
	You set it up to say, let me finish.
	Let me finish.
	You said open carry.
	You're not qualified.
	You don't know what you're talking about if you think that I have to open carry if it's on my hip.
	That's not open carry.
	It can be concealed carry.
	You didn't say it was concealed carry.
	You said you had it done on your hip.
	You said it's on your hip, therefore isn't that open carry?
	No.
	That means you don't know.
	Continue.
	Go to the Second Amendment.
	Let's move on to the Second Amendment.
	Go ahead and go to the Second Amendment.
	Let's go.
	All right.
	So, Second Amendment.
	Second Amendment is an amendment written by some very, very smart men who basically all agreed that the Constitution is a living document that could be changed.
	Now, I want to be clear to your people listening right now.
	We can't get rid of guns.
	It's not going to happen.
	Right.
	But you do need is some sort of smart legislation, because although you've gone to training, I've gone to training.
	A lot of people don't.
	A lot of people don't.
	And there's a lot of Walmart Rambo's out there.
	So I actually have a solution, I believe, to the whole gun thing that would bring the death rate down and make it so not only would have an actual well-regulated militia, but we'd have people that knew what they were doing with a weapon.
	OK, before we get to that, though, here's what matters.
	You need to, for example, you bring that up just like the guy who I was talking about where I was carrying a gun on my hip, not open carry.
	It is your job to substantiate the position that your plan, that you or anyone in power has the right...
	To dissolve or do away with the Second Amendment, and that it doesn't mean what the courts have interpreted it to mean.
	No, it's not what I proposed, ever.
	Okay, so what do you want to do?
	Well, it's an amendment, right?
	Which means it can be changed, correct?
	So we can still have a Second Amendment with some extra things added to it, yes?
	So you mean amendments to the amendment?
	You know the definition of amendment, right?
	Just as much as you know the definition of open carry.
	So by your thing, you don't know the definition of amendment then?
	Because you're saying that I don't know.
	Like I just said, amendment to amendment.
	So you want to argue about nothing.
	The second amendment was written.
	The people who wrote it, who ratified it, who were there, were very clear as to what well-regulated militia was, were very clear as to what it meant, were very clear as to who should own firearms.
	Everybody.
	Got it.
	Go ahead.
	So it's an amendment, though.
	It can be changed.
	Agreed?
	Agreed.
	Or how come we have alcohol now?
	Or how come we don't own slaves anymore?
	So it's an amendment, right?
	Well, hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	So the First Amendment, can that be changed to no longer apply to iPhones?
	To no longer apply to modern technology?
	I'm just saying any amendment can be changed, yes?
	No, it cannot be changed universally without parameters.
	That's the nature of the Constitution.
	Just because the Constitution can be changed.
	Here's why slavery doesn't exist anymore.
	Because they found it to be...
	Let me finish, okay?
	You're going back and forth.
	Because they found it to be irreconcilable...
	No, you just brought up slavery and alcohol, so I'm addressing it.
	And you just keep talking about minutiae.
	Minutiae, listen, the reason slavery doesn't exist anymore is because they found it to be irreconcilable with the First Amendment, with the idea that, or the Declaration of Independence, that all men are created equal and alienable rights.
	That's why it was done away with.
	So, to change the Second Amendment, you would have to find it to be irreconcilable with the rest of the Constitution.
	That's the reason for amendments.
	That's the reason for the ratification process.
	You don't just get to change it because Christopher Titus has an opinion.
	So, let's go on with your opinion on what we should do, and then we can get to the root of why it might work.
	By what you just said, you're 32,000 Americans dead every year by guns in this country.
	There we go.
	It's totally irreconcilable.
	Well, first off, 32,000 people are not dead by guns.
	You sit in front of the flag, but 32,000 Americans die every year from guns.
	And by the way, if it was in Thailand and 32,000 Americans died, we would vaporize that country.
	Didn't you just say, I didn't want to get to the argument, and now you're saying I stand in front of the flag and 32,000 are dead?
	You're just saying what?
	That I want those people dead because I'm an American?
	You're arguing to continue it.
	You're just arguing to continue it.
	No, no, no.
	You haven't made an argument as to why we do away with the Second Amendment.
	You just attributed motive.
	Oh, my God.
	You ready?
	So you're ready.
	How long do we have to break, Jared?
	Are we already in a break?
	20 seconds.
	20 seconds.
	Okay, we have 20 seconds.
	Okay, so we can come back and tell you what the deal is.
	Okay, we can come back and tell you what the deal is.
	Here's the deal.
	No, no, no.
	20 seconds.
	Let's go.
	Okay, go ahead.
	For 20 seconds and talking to the break, well, 10 seconds, you'll be cut off.
	Or you can just wait and let the music play out.
	I'm saying go to the break now.
	Let's just come back.
	Well, there are hard breaks.
	It's syndicated on radio across the country.
	So here we go.
	You know, it's weird.
	There's a break.
	For breaking news on Lauer with Crowder, I'm Perry Mathis.
	We now return you live to Ben Carson's speech taking place underway at the RNC. Let's see.
	I also had a Bulbasaur.
	I had a Squirtle.
	A Magneton.
	I had a Pikachu.
	Well, it was a Pikachu until I leveled up to a Sanshu.
	I had a Slowbro.
	I had a Jigglypuff, but I traded it.
	I had a...
	We'll keep you abreast as this speech unfolds.
	I'm Perry Malazat.
	Okay, we're back.
	I want to stay on a couple of points here.
	Let's stay on a point, because you're saying I'm arguing minutiae.
	You're saying 32,000 dead.
	I would love to stay on a point.
	I don't care.
	Okay, so the Second Amendment.
	So, you're saying it can simply be changed.
	How do you justify changing?
	No, it can't be changed.
	Right now, you've got...
	Every poll says you have 90% of the American public thinks that something needs to be done about guns.
	That's a poll at 90%.
	That's 90%.
	Okay, but that's not what I'm going to ask you.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Stay on the point.
	Hold on.
	How do you justify doing away or fundamentally altering the Second Amendment?
	You need to justify that's irreconcilable with the rest of the Constitution.
	32,000 Americans dead every year from gun violence.
	That's 320,000.
	That sounds very impressive to say, but it's not an argument.
	It is an argument.
	No, it's not.
	Yes, my American countryman dying is irreconcilable to me.
	To you?
	But far more Americans die of heart disease, of car fatalities.
	You're seeing this as a zero-sum game.
	No, that's why we have research for heart disease.
	That's why we're trying to cure cancer.
	That's why we're actually doing nutrition and trying to figure out people.
	That's why cars have a safety division, the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration.
	But guns have none of that.
	What are you talking about?
	Of course they do.
	That's not true.
	All these things that you say kill other people, we have things in place to help stop that.
	With guns, we don't.
	Really?
	So you're throwing the whole police force under the bus?
	Laws?
	A judicial system?
	You said there's nothing in place to stop gun violence.
	Of course there is.
	Law enforcement.
	People are put away for using guns illegally.
	Right.
	So that works so well in Dallas.
	You're talking about police being shot?
	I don't have an argument here.
	Let me just finish my argument.
	How can we just keep interrupting?
	Because you keep jumping from point to point.
	No, I don't.
	You do.
	32,000 Americans, we need to get back to the Second Amendment first.
	I'd say, the Second Amendment, you said irreconcilable.
	It is irreconcilable to me that 32,000 Americans every year die from guns.
	If you're okay with that, what are you doing sitting in front of that American flag?
	That's your argument.
	How many of those 32,000 are suicides?
	How many of them are homicides?
	About 12,000.
	60% are suicides.
	And two of those suicides were my mom and my sister.
	You say my mom and my sister.
	There we go.
	Listen, I'm sorry to hear about your story, but we're sticking to the arguments here.
	We're sticking to data points.
	You throw out 32,000.
	You know it's a misleading statistic.
	Far more people die from these other causes.
	Listen.
	It's funny.
	So what do you do?
	What do you do?
	Okay, so...
	At one point, you go ahead and say, oh, your personal story about my girlfriend needs a gun because she might get raped.
	But when someone else does it, you go, oh, I'm sorry about your personal story.
	No, I didn't use that as an argument.
	I didn't use that as an argument.
	No, I used that when someone asked me personally why I might need a gun.
	I didn't ask you personally why you may or may not need a gun.
	I asked you why the Second Amendment was irreconcilable with the rest of the living, breathing document of the Constitution.
	And you went to a personal argument.
	I didn't ask you why you may personally not like guns.
	I gave you a statistic.
	32,000 Americans dead every year from guns.
	That's irreconcilable.
	That's irreconcilable.
	I love my countrymen too much.
	I'm tired.
	So beyond irreconcilable, okay, so...
	No, it's not irreconcilable.
	You're okay with it.
	You're okay with 32,000 Americans dead?
	I'm okay exactly with what the Second Amendment is, yes, which means that all people have the right to self-preservation.
	Do you know what a living document is?
	Do you know what that constitutes a living document and was meant to be changed?
	Even Thomas Jefferson said, hey, if things are going crazy, we should probably check into it.
	We're going to leave it open-ended so you guys can fix it.
	Do you believe that the Founding Fathers...
	I'm trying to get to the root of your argument.
	Is it predicated on the idea that the Founding Fathers would somehow change it today?
	We've changed it throughout history.
	I'm talking about the Second Amendment.
	I'm trying to get to it, and I don't want you to answer, and I'll let you answer.
	Is that your argument?
	I believe if the Founding Fathers saw what was going on currently in our country and knew that we had the military that we have and could handle anything and no longer have to worry about England attacking us, Spain attacking us, that I think they would go, you know what, guys?
	This is a problem.
	Why aren't we to fix that?
	Because we're not going to get rid of guns.
	You can't get rid of the Second Amendment.
	I don't think you should.
	I have a Sig Sauer sitting in a lockbox in a safe in my truck.
	Hold on a second.
	That has nothing to do with the Second Amendment.
	No, no.
	It's not about shooting.
	It's not about hunting.
	It's about none of those things.
	So let me address that one thing, because you did address my point, so let me counter that point.
	You just made your point.
	You said you think they would have intended differently, right?
	Yes.
	Okay, can I address that point?
	Is that fair for me to address that point?
	Sure.
	Okay.
	I'm trying to stay on point.
	I'm trying to be as fair as humanly possible.
	That's not the case, and we have enough historical documentation, and the more context you add, you see that it's not the case.
	So the Second Amendment is written in plain language.
	But I understand people want to argue about the militia.
	When you look at the quotes in the militia, that the militia, George Mason, is the entirety of the people.
	Every person is a militia.
	The best way to ruin a populace would be to disarm the people.
	When you look at Thomas Jefferson saying, no free man shall be debarred of arms.
	When you look at the fact that there were, quote-unquote, assault weapons, rapid-fire weapons back then that they knew about and they expressly included in the Second Amendment, like the Girondoni air rifle, like the puckle gun, like the pepper box revolver, and you have a private letter of mark and reprisal from Madison saying, of course.
	Of course you have the right to use cannons.
	What are you talking about now?
	They intended for people to use cannons.
	You're talking about history.
	You said if they could change today.
	I'm saying no.
	There's no proof of that.
	I'm sorry.
	There's no proof that they could change either.
	You said intent.
	I gave you proof.
	Thomas Jefferson wrote the living document and says in it, one of his quotes is, we wrote this, not the quote exactly.
	I'm going to paraphrase because I don't have it in front of me.
	I don't have it in front of me either.
	He said, we wrote this so you could change it.
	It's a living document so the amendments can be changed.
	An inalienable right of life and liberty has been taken away from 32,000 families every year in the last 10.
	So that's what I'm saying.
	Well, you see, that's not fair.
	It was taken away by people.
	Who don't have respect for law or rights.
	So what you don't do for that, and the Founding Fathers were very clear, and the Constitution is very clear, you don't get to remove rights from law-abiding people because of criminals who violated people's rights.
	And it doesn't mean that we don't care about those deaths.
	What it means is we don't want to expose other people to violence.
	100%.
	I agree with you, 100%.
	So my point is this.
	Right now we have very loose standards state to state.
	People bring up cars.
	We have a federal standard for cars, safety standard, inspections they have to pass, everything like that.
	When it comes to guns, we don't.
	It's not the same across the country state to state.
	We need a federal standard.
	I have a lot of very, very, very, very experienced gun owners in my family.
	My brother-in-law is a federal marshal.
	He actually has basically an expert level.
	He had 125 dead center mass in a row.
	He's a badass.
	So I know people that are incredibly responsible with weapons.
	So here's what we don't have.
	Here's what we don't have, Crowder.
	We don't have a system in place that makes sure those people actually get their shot.
	And people like my mom, who are mentally ill and in and out of mental illness in their life, shouldn't have a gun near them.
	Or if we had a standard for insurance, if we had a standard for locking up.
	So here's my pitch.
	Just let me get this out because I don't want to fight with you, man.
	Honestly, that whole thing that you did, I've listened to you.
	You're fine.
	In fact, I drew a picture of Muhammad wearing the red jacket with the zippers from Thriller because I just think he looks better like that.
	I'm fine with it.
	So here's what I want to talk to you about.
	Let's say we had like a gun DMV, all right?
	Because right now what happens is there's so many loose things.
	I mean, the guy from Dallas, the shooter in Dallas, bought a gun in a Target parking lot.
	That shouldn't happen.
	Do you think you should be able to sell a deadly weapon in a Target parking lot?
	Do you think that's a good idea?
	Do I think people should be able to illegally sell weapons in parking lots?
	No.
	Okay, there you go.
	So, good.
	So we both agree that we have some common ground now.
	They're deadly weapons.
	I agree that crime should be labeled as crime.
	He was a soldier?
	Ten seconds to a break.
	We'll bring Christopher Titus back for another live segment on air.
	I have a solution to this that will make everybody happy.
	I really do.
	If you just let me talk, Stephen.
	See you in a minute.
	Yeah, well, we've done nothing but let him talk, but I just haven't really heard a substantive answer yet.
	So let's bring him back and give him the floor more.
	More floor for Christopher Titus.
	Stay tuned.
	Stay tuned.
	Tommy, the floor is yours, boys.
	Oh, yeah.
	You can literally whack, click-clack, I attack, I stick a knife on your back like it's your mama's fat ass.
	Your rhymes can't touch me, your mouth's slow, your brain's rusty.
	Oh, you've got a Back to the Future shirt on.
	What a coincidence!
	The last time you won a battle, Reagan was president.
	You came to the wrong place if you're looking for fun.
	Here, take the mic and embarrass yourself, son.
	Oh, damn!
	Oh, damn!
	Oh, that's gonna be a tough act to fight all unnecessarily escalating.
	Andrew, your turn at the mic.
	Ah, yo, your little brother has leukemia.
	you probably won't make it.
	All right.
	We are back with Christopher Titus at Titus Nation.
	Okay, go ahead.
	I don't want to be accused.
	And then I'm going to take the floor for a few minutes, so go ahead.
	Okay, so you just said I went to break that no substantive argument, but you've never given me a substantive reason, except for the Second Amendment, a thing that was written 200 years ago, for why every American should own a weapon and 32,000 dead is okay.
	But alright, alright.
	Do you want to give me the floor to answer that?
	Is that just a slight to continue?
	No, I would appreciate the next time we go to break, though, you don't say something snarky and then cut the break.
	Like saying you don't care about the 32,000 dead in front of the flag, that kind of thing?
	We weren't at break.
	No, you did it on Twitter when you ducked the actual appearance.
	Go ahead, Chris.
	And then I said it right to your face right here.
	Yeah, go ahead, Chris.
	So, let's set up a gun DMV. Let's say you have to register your weapons.
	Let's say everybody has to register their weapons.
	We have a federal standard across the board.
	Everybody has to be...
	Canada works.
	You know, we have 12,000 dead from homicides.
	Canada has 172.
	There's a problem.
	Go ahead.
	I'm from Canada.
	I'm sure you know that.
	I'm Canadian.
	It doesn't work.
	No, it doesn't work.
	Remember, my friends were holed up in Dawson College when there was a shooting.
	We invented the public shooting in Canada.
	Crime is actually very comparable in Canada.
	Let me finish.
	Hold on a second.
	You just brought something up that's not true.
	Crime is very comparable across countries.
	Hold on.
	Let me do this.
	It'll take me 30 seconds, and you can have three minutes.
	Violent crime rates are difficult to compare across countries, just like inframortality rates, because they don't have the same kind of comparison for violent crime.
	Canada has incredibly violent crime.
	Canada has had many, many public mass shootings.
	None of those things that you've said are true.
	Continue.
	By the way, mass shootings only account for 2% of all shootings.
	We're not talking about that.
	We're talking about domestic violence.
	Is this the point where we take a population that is less than that of Texas, entirely homogenous like Canada or Denmark or Japan, and try and compare it to a very diverse country of the United States with 10 times the population?
	This is interesting.
	It's interesting.
	So you're saying people are different around the world.
	You're saying that we're special in America.
	That we're not made out of the same blood, bone, and hair.
	That our society is so different from our...
	No, I didn't say that.
	Our 32,000 dead is totally acceptable.
	Yet when Australia had a...
	Is this the guy who accused me of making a straw man?
	Is this the guy who just said 32,000 deaths are totally acceptable?
	I just want to make sure we keep a record of this when you say I create straw man.
	Go ahead.
	Your excuse is that we're different in America.
	We're totally different.
	We're not like the rest of the world.
	I haven't defined your argument for you.
	Here's the thing, Chris.
	In a debate, in an argument, it only works...
	Hold on a second.
	Let me do this.
	It only works if you portray your opponent fairly.
	I have not misrepresented your words.
	I've given you the floor, and you take the floor to then tell everyone what I have said when it's not what I've said.
	I did not say that I don't care.
	Let me finish.
	I did not say that I don't care.
	I don't care about 32,000 people dead.
	I said that what you said about Canada was inaccurate.
	Last segment you said you're okay with it.
	It's acceptable to you.
	Play it back.
	No, I didn't say it's acceptable to me.
	I didn't say it's acceptable 32,000 people dead.
	Then why are you arguing for the continued slaughter of 32,000 Americans?
	Okay, here's why.
	Let me give you the why.
	Okay, you just asked me a question, right?
	Yeah, I'm waiting.
	Okay, so let me answer and don't interrupt.
	And then I will volley it back to you where you can answer.
	And I won't interrupt.
	Oh, is that how a conversation works?
	Yes, yeah, exactly.
	It is predicated on the idea, your argument, and you're asking me, do I care about the 32,000 debt?
	Of course I do.
	Do I believe that gun control legislation will stop that in the United States?
	No, I do not.
	Do I believe that historically...
	Or using statistics from other countries that don't have the same kind of history as the United States, that don't have comparable population rates, and also have, by the way, widespread massive upticks in rape and violent assault and knife crime.
	Do I think that your arguments would solve the issue?
	No, I believe that they would result in more deaths and more violence, and I believe that it is fundamentally opposed to the Constitution of the United States.
	Your floor.
	What country did violent crime rates rise beyond 3% anywhere in the world?
	And let me ask you one more thing before you answer that question.
	I just give you the floor.
	You can answer that.
	I'm asking.
	I know we're having a debate.
	I'm asking you a question.
	You tell me what question.
	You tell me what country that it went up more than 3%.
	I will ask you one more question.
	Wouldn't you rather have...
	So someone's going to take your wallet.
	Before we move on, is it fair that I just addressed your issues?
	No, you didn't give me any statistic.
	You gave me no backup.
	You just said crime rates have gone crazy with no evidence at all.
	When did I say crime rates have gone crazy?
	When did I ever say that?
	I said I don't believe in the United States that it would work, that it would reduce crime.
	I believe that crime would increase.
	That's what I said.
	But in every other country that it's happened, it's actually reduced gun deaths ridiculously.
	Well, hold on.
	Are we talking about gun deaths or are we talking about violent crime?
	Well, violent crime at most after any gun laws has gone up.
	Well, no, no.
	What matters more, violent crime or gun deaths?
	Because violent crime has increased substantially in the UK, Australia, Sweden.
	No, it hasn't.
	Yes, it has.
	Dramatically.
	No, it has not.
	Yes, it has.
	It has not.
	3%.
	It's uptick 3% at most.
	That's it.
	Period.
	Period.
	3% at most.
	Let me ask you this.
	You want to get shot dead?
	Rape in Sweden is at an all-time high.
	Many 100% higher.
	No, it's not.
	Sweden is the rape capital of the Western world.
	You post that on your site.
	Type in Sweden Rape right now.
	I'll let you do it live.
	Sweden, rape capital.
	Sweden, rape.
	Sweden, rape capital.
	Why?
	Because it's an unarmed populace, entirely exposed.
	For someone who wants someone to not interrupt...
	Go ahead.
	No, I addressed it because you keep asking questions.
	Go ahead.
	So, one more question.
	Sure.
	Violent crime goes up 3%.
	Would you rather have your wallet stolen and the guy runs away, and then you have to call the bank and cancel your credit cards, or do you want to get shot?
	Well, see, that's what we call a false equivalency.
	It's not a false equivalency.
	Sure it is.
	Those aren't the only two scenarios, and crime statistics don't reflect those two scenarios.
	No, but in my example, in my example...
	But it's not a fair example.
	I was talking about historical records, crime, data.
	You said I didn't bring it up, and now you've created a false scenario why I either have to get shot or cancel my American Express.
	It's not a counterargument, Chris.
	It is a counterargument, 100%.
	It's not.
	Yes, if you didn't have a gun, and the guy didn't have a gun, and then you got beaten and robbed, you got beaten and robbed.
	Are you aware, statistically, that you're more likely, in many studies, to be injured in a knife mugging than a gun mugging?
	Are you aware of that?
	No, but are you aware of that?
	Because you created a false scenario.
	Well, let's throw more statistics at you.
	That's not an argument, Chris.
	That's not an argument.
	But that's not an argument.
	Argument out.
	Chris conceded that point because that wasn't an argument.
	He went to a hypothetical scenario in order to address facts and statistics.
	Go ahead.
	Not at all.
	You just threw us some statistic that you just made up.
	Where'd you get that statistic, Mr.
	Crowder?
	Not the rape statistic, the gun.
	More likely to be killed with a knife than a gun.
	I said, are you aware that there are studies?
	There are studies.
	I did it in response to a hypothetical question with zero facts.
	Here's what happens, really quick, really quick.
	This is what happens.
	Leftists do this.
	No, no, hold on a second.
	Leftists bring up a hypothetical with no facts, and then they say, I don't believe your facts.
	So they bring forth none, and then they don't believe yours.
	Go ahead.
	You presented none.
	FBI statistics.
	Show the difference in gun deaths and knife deaths.
	Go ahead.
	Show it.
	Put it up.
	FBI statistics.
	I don't have a way to put it up.
	This is just you and I talking right now.
	Oh, because you don't.
	Because if you did, it would blow your argument out of the water.
	I don't have a way of getting it up on my screen, but you don't have them up.
	Do you see?
	So the burden is on you.
	You know what we're doing right now?
	The burden is on you.
	What we're becoming is part of the problem.
	I'll put it up.
	Go to my website, ChristopherTeyes.com.
	Yeah, okay.
	We have plenty up at the website, but you just said you're not bringing it up.
	You didn't bring it up.
	Do you see the point?
	Oh, my God.
	You brought up knife deaths.
	You brought up FBI statistics.
	You brought up a hypothetical scenario to make an argument countering when I talked about data globally.
	Comparing violent crime rates and an increase in crime and an increase in rape and an increase in violent crime and an increase in homicide and an increase in burglary.
	You see those in Australia, in the UK, in France, in Sweden.
	You see those across the globe.
	In Australia and Canada, you can still get a gun.
	That's the point.
	We're not going to be able to take Americans' guns away, period.
	It's not going to happen.
	So here's what I'm pitching.
	We have Division of Citizen Weapons.
	Let's say that.
	It's next to the DMV. We build a range in there.
	You go in.
	I'm asking, to have any gun you want, would you be willing to spend a day at some national DMV? We had to register, test, get interviewed for a second.
	Register?
	No, of course not.
	You don't want to register your weapon?
	I don't support a national registry, of course not.
	So you believe that we should all have deadly weapons and we should not know where they are from or what they're about or how to track them?
	Yes.
	Okay, why?
	I do not believe that the United States federal government has the right to know what firearms I have because that defeats the entire purpose and intent of the Second Amendment.
	Of course, I'm against the National Firearm Registry.
	It doesn't defeat a well-regulated militia.
	So you're supposed to fight off tyranny and tell them where they are.
	It didn't happen in Australia.
	It didn't happen in Canada.
	What tyranny are you talking about?
	Actually, yeah, of course it didn't, Canada.
	Canada didn't fight off the king.
	Canada didn't fight off the monarchy.
	They bent over and kissed the ring.
	That's why it's a very different history.
	They still have the Queen on their money, Chris.
	So if you are saying that Americans are different, what tyranny is going to happen in America?
	What are you afraid of in America?
	What's going to happen?
	Tell me the tyrannical situation that you think is going to happen.
	Again, we're getting into hypothetical.
	I don't need to get into hypothetical because it happened and that's why it was drafted.
	It's hypothetical.
	It never happened here.
	It won't happen here.
	That's why the Second Amendment exists, because it did happen.
	Taxation without representation.
	That's why it was drafted.
	Which was England, not us.
	How did we become us?
	I asked you a question that you can't answer.
	What tyranny do you think is going to happen in America?
	You just said it never happened in America.
	It has happened.
	It happened because of another country, because of England.
	So you're now saying that the United States is different because you're discounting all other forms of tyranny that have happened in the last half century across the globe.
	From a lot of the nations you like, like Japan and Germany.
	Tyranny do you think is going to happen, Crowder?
	You tell me.
	You just said tyranny didn't happen.
	It has happened.
	It could happen again very easily.
	Another country.
	You're saying that, Michael?
	The United States fought off the greatest tyranny that there had been, the greatest superpower of one century, to become the greatest superpower of the next century.
	You said our government, though.
	You said I don't want the government to know because of tyranny.
	So our government.
	Are you talking about England?
	I don't think England's going to attack us again.
	I don't think they're going to attack us again.
	I think we're good there.
	I don't think England's going to blow us up.
	I don't think Canada's going to attack either.
	And Mexico, they have to swim across the ocean.
	I don't really think we're going to get attacked by tyranny from another country.
	Mexico has to swim across the ocean?
	So that...
	Across the water, sorry, Rio Grande.
	So that's what you do, though.
	So answer it.
	No, it's not what I do.
	I'm simply trying to be honest.
	And you're going, what tyranny is possible?
	Do we have to run through the possible scenarios?
	Do I think that the United States...
	Let me answer your question, a hypothetical question, because I... You said that.
	You're not answering it at all.
	You're avoiding it.
	And everybody who's listening can see it.
	You're saying that we actually don't need our guns registered because of tyranny.
	So is England going to invade us again?
	Is that why?
	Or is it the government you're worried about?
	Yeah, of course.
	There could absolutely be domestic tyranny, as has happened in many nations in the United States.
	How?
	How?
	The UN? The UN couldn't take down Somalia.
	I didn't say UN. I'm talking about the United States government.
	You think the United States government is going to...
	I don't think.
	I don't think it will.
	But the Second Amendment was designed because we don't have to think it will.
	Probability doesn't enter into the equation.
	It enters into the reason for the Second Amendment.
	That's why it exists.
	Because they did fight off tyranny.
	Because contrary to what you say, it happens.
	That's why they're at the Second Amendment.
	Other countries, because they had no idea about nukes.
	They had no idea about what we were going to have as a military.
	That's why they wrote it at a time when we didn't have all this stuff that we have.
	So what about the First Amendment?
	Does that still apply?
	No, let's answer the question you said.
	What question?
	You said domestic – no, what your statement was, you said domestic terrorism could actually happen again.
	Really?
	How?
	I never said domestic terrorism could actually happen again.
	In fact, you just said, yes, I am a free act.
	Yes, domestic terrorism from the government could actually happen.
	I did not say domestic terrorism.
	I did not use the word domestic terrorism.
	Well, that matters.
	That matters, because there's a difference between tyranny and terrorism.
	Fair?
	Okay, you think the government will take your guns.
	Okay, is that fair?
	Tyranny versus terrorism is a difference that matters.
	That's not minutia.
	Question!
	Stop walking around the question.
	I answered your question.
	It is entirely possible.
	Domestic tyranny could happen.
	Our government, the Toronto government...
	Can I answer your question?
	You just yelled at me to answer your question.
	How?
	Answer it.
	How is it going to happen?
	Bring it.
	How has it happened?
	England.
	No.
	When is it going to happen?
	Say domestic.
	Yes, domestic.
	In the United States.
	Okay, let me answer.
	Hold on a second.
	We're getting off into the weeds because now, again, let me make clear.
	You said, everyone listening, you've never at any point rebutted the ideas to the intent of the Second Amendment.
	You've never at any point rebutted any of the facts regarding gun crime or violence or increasing crime.
	You've never at any point rebutted the facts on Sweden.
	You never at any point acknowledged the hypothetical in a mugging versus being shot or canceling an American Express.
	And now at the hypothetical, what possible tyranny does Steven Crowder believe will occur in order to justify not going along with Christopher Titus' gun plan?
	Correct?
	No, that's not...
	No, I asked you...
	That's what...
	You're making...
	The only way I can substantiate my argument is if I answer that question?
	I would say, I would say, Steven, I believe you should say...
	You keep saying England.
	You've said...
	No, I didn't.
	I said as far as it happened.
	What?
	No, no.
	You said you didn't want your gun registered because you actually believe that the U.S. government would come take it or some sort of...
	You believe that will happen?
	Well, just like the mandatory buyback in Australia is a great example.
	We have 30 seconds?
	All right, we have 30 seconds.
	I still haven't answered one question.
	You've got no argument, Crowder.
	See you after the break.
	We still have 20 seconds.
	We still have 20 seconds.
	Well, this is awkward.
	Okay, I'll say it again.
	You have no argument, Crowder, after the break.
	Okay, well, I guess I'll try and get to the fact of hypotheticals.
	And, you know, we'll go to a web-extended, because I don't know.
	Do you think we should do another segment for Radio Charity, or do you think it's getting...
	We could.
	Four seconds.
	Let's do a web-extended, I think.
	Let's do a web extended.
	Ailes, I just can't tell you how grateful I am to now be officially a part of this news team.
	And I promise you I'm going to work incredibly hard to...
	What are you...
	How?
	Stop throwing...
	What are you throwing at me?
	Are these...
	Are these Mardi Gras beads?
	Show me your breasts!
	No, Mr.
	Ailes, I am not going to show you my breasts.
	You're a monster.
	On the back!
	Ew, no!
	Omin, get away from me!
	When it's time to party, we will party hard.
	We'll be right back.
	We are in the third hour.
	That was Christopher Titus.
	Almost the third hour.
	We have one more segment to the third hour.
	Oh, almost the third hour.
	At Titus Nation.
	Listen, I know, like I said, full disclosure, we have a new shirt here that will be available in the merchandise store.
	That is the sexiest shirt.
	I have ever laid eyes on.
	I'm glad to have it.
	And listen, we've talked about this.
	This had to be pre-taped because Titus was pretty upset, wanted to come on.
	So it's not my favorite debate that we've had in the program.
	He came on and before we were even on air was pretty upset.
	I'd like to have him back.
	Hopefully.
	I think if you look at debates with Zach Ford or sort of prior on the show, you usually get more in.
	And the second you start saying, hey, I don't care about 32,000 people dead, well, that sort of throws the debate out.
	And you're forced to defend something that you've never said.
	So, you know...
	I have respect for Christopher Titus.
	I would like to have them be more like the Zach Ford debates, who I also respect more.
	Cluster screw aside that the extended gets a little meatier, too.
	Yeah, the extended cut is better, too.
	The extended cut is almost twice in length that we have online tomorrow.
	And we ended up on a much better note.
	Or yesterday.
	It would depend on when you're listening to this.
	No one knows.
	That's the internet.
	You realize scheduled programming really isn't as much of a factor as it used to be?
	No.
	People just kind of watch when they want to watch.
	I do want to address something, though, regarding his points on tyranny.
	I tried to give some examples of tyranny that has happened or that could happen, like the Australia gun buyback.
	Here's the deal, and not Gajer was talking about this during the break.
	Barack Obama has already praised the Australian gun buyback.
	That's a confiscation.
	That's a mandatory buyback.
	Barack Obama likes that.
	He's openly praised that.
	That's not that much of a reach.
	Something else, too, real quick.
	Sweden, rape capital of the West.
	We have it right here.
	You can look at these charts.
	It's not even close.
	And a big part of this is because of Islamic refugees and, of course, an unarmed populace.
	What else were you talking about, tyranny, sort of in the United States?
	Well, I mean, Detroit alone has already instituted, played around with gun buybacks.
	Not mandatory, but they're playing with it.
	So, I mean, that's a step in that direction.
	Massachusetts just banned semi-automatic.
	I have it actually...
	I don't know the exact terms.
	I'm pretty sure it's any kind of AR-15 or AK-47 copies or duplicates.
	There are a bunch of rules in here.
	They're always really tough to follow.
	I think any semi-automatic rifle with four rounds or more, with a magazine that's capable of holding four rounds or more, and that effectively renders most...
	Haunting rifle is useless.
	Very few magazine-fed rifles have rounds that are fewer than four.
	So, like you were saying, these are things that have happened.
	These are things that Barack Obama has praised they would do on a federal level if they could.
	And when people are screaming and interrupting, it's certainly not outside the realm of reason to say, hey, if Massachusetts, if you had a guy there who was president, or Barack Obama, that kind of guy, Chicago guy, in the office with the authority and the court, of course they would do it.
	I think the important argument, too, I think is that, of course, even if Barack did do that, President Obama did do that, did full-on Australia the nation.
	Australia the nation?
	Australia the nation.
	I don't think that necessarily means he himself would be storming and becoming a mega tyrant.
	But the thing is, you don't do it because of that.
	You don't do it because of the foreseeable.
	You do it because of the unforeseeable.
	Yeah, it could be this generation.
	You don't know, but once you give up those rights, you can't get them back.
	That's true.
	You can't get them back.
	That's a pivotal detail.
	You've seen that happen.
	You've seen it happen with things in our lifetime.
	You've seen it happen with Canada and free speech.
	Once freedom of speech, you don't get it back.
	Just because you trust your government today doesn't mean you're going to feel that way tomorrow.
	Germany, it sounds cliche now, but they at one point trusted and elected certain people.
	Japan.
	Canada.
	So, Canada.
	There's always that.
	Look at Trudeau.
	There's always that.
	I mean, they just put Mike Ward and they're going to charge him $35,000 for telling a joke that really wasn't all that offensive.
	No.
	Does it sound absurd?
	It's reality.
	Of course freedom of speech doesn't exist in other countries.
	And it's a good point.
	You can't get them back once you give them away.
	And I've said that, listen, I was wrong.
	I was young.
	I don't even know if I voted in that election, but I thought the Patriot Act seemed reasonable at the time because of terrorism.
	And...
	I've openly said, yeah, I was wrong about that because of Barack Obama after George W. Bush.
	And George W. Bush wasn't a great president, but as a younger kid, I thought he was more trustworthy.
	We were unified as a country after 9-11.
	And I see what happens with that.
	I learned my lesson.
	I learned my lesson.
	That power was given to the government, and then you have it with people like Barack Obama.
	And I don't want Donald Trump to have that power.
	I don't want Hillary Clinton to have that power.
	Like you said, the key is once you hand it over, you don't get it back.
	It's kind of like rugby.
	Well, the opposite of rugby.
	You can only pass backwards.
	No one understands that game.
	I don't understand that game.
	I don't understand it, but I do respect the men who do it.
	Hey!
	True.
	We have a video clip.
	So this is actually...
	Do we have the actual time cued?
	Yep.
	So Charlize Theron...
	I have this up on my screen first.
	Theron.
	Theron.
	I always get...
	Theron.
	She looks a lot like my wife.
	People give her that a lot.
	Charlize Theron was speaking before some kind of a summit.
	I don't know.
	They have so many summits.
	And she made the statement...
	well let's let's hear what she said does not discriminate on its own it has no biological preference for black bodies for women's bodies for gay bodies for youths or the poor talking age right it does Yes.
	We single out the vulnerable, the oppressed, and the abused.
	How long is this clip?
	Oh, that's about it.
	Okay, right there.
	And CNN has a headline.
	Charlize Theron, she went on to speak at HIV spread through racism, sexism, homophobia.
	Let's contrast that right next to it with the CDC statistics.
	AIDS seems pretty discriminatory.
	Now, I understand that in sub-Saharan Africa, AIDS is not the same as in the United States.
	In the United States, in the New World, it's an entirely preventable disease.
	Here's what's important.
	CNN ran that, and all the leftist sites are running with it, applying that to the modern world.
	If you want to talk Africa, the mean, homophobic, racist George Bush did more for Africa and AIDS than any president ever.
	It's why a lot of people didn't like him, because of the interventionism.
	So much money, so many programs, and it worked.
	But in the United States, it is entirely preventable.
	Listen, we're looking at the CDC stats.
	If you want to avoid AIDS, it is namely almost entirely transmitted by unprotected homosexual anal sex.
	Here's the thing.
	The person you're having unprotected homosexual anal sex with could be a racist or sexist.
	So Charlize Theron isn't wrong.
	However, the key detail in there is not if he is racist or sexist.
	But it's the unprotected homosexual anal sex.
	That seems to be the key detail.
	It's coming together in my head right now.
	Again, right here from the CDC, the transmissions.
	She's not wrong, but it seems more predicated on the unprotected homosexual anal sex in the United States than whether the guy's a Trump voter.
	I have to correct that.
	And we're going into the third hour after this.
	After this?
	Golden ticket details, I think.
	That was creepy.
	And now hipsters play Pokemon Go in Detroit.
	STREET.
	Oh my gosh, Skylar.
	Skylar, a Mewtwo.
	What?
	That's like the rarest Pokemon there is!
	I know, and it's right over there.
	Across the street?
	Yes.
	Oh yeah!
	Yeah man, Mewtwo's over here.
	Why don't you come over here and get it?
	No, no, I don't think we, um, I already have one.
	Well, you just got all excited, sir, what's the rarest Pokemon there is?
	Yeah, I know, I know, but I don't need one.
	Oh, no, come on.
	Come over here and get your Mewtwo.
	No, thank you, I appreciate it.
	I think I'm going to look for a Charmander or something.
	Oh, man.
	That ain't cool.
	He's being really pushy.
	No, no, I appreciate it.
	You can keep the Mewtwo for yourself.
	You Mewtwo.
	Man, I don't even play Pokemon Go.
	I kept this for your ass.
	You don't even play Pokemon Go?
	No, man.
	I got stuff to do.
	Okay, thank you.
	I think I'm going to move.
	I'm going to keep going.
	Okay, I see what's happening here.
	I see what's happening here.
	No, no, you don't need to turn this.
	I vote Hillary.
	Hashtag I'm with her.
	This has nothing to do with anything, whatever you think it is.
	Oh, man, I'm glad to hear that.
	Now come over here and get your Mewtwo.
	I don't think he's going to let it go.
	Okay.
	Crossing Gratiot!
	Well, thank you very much.
	I'm appreciative of you...
	Yeah, there's no Mewtwo.
	You know you get mugged, right?
	That's about what I figured.
	We're back.
	See how calm that is?
	You're listening to NPR. The third hour.
	Sit back and relax.
	We're about to discuss police brutality and its correlation as it relates to lesbian whale watching rights groups.
	There's this place where we are.
	Oh, sorry.
	Third Hour.
	Producing with me in the video studio, as always, is NotGayJared on Twitter, at NotGayJared.
	We're cool.
	I don't care about the legal obligations.
	Your lawyer's not Jewish.
	So we're fine.
	We're safe.
	We have a few things to talk about.
	So something did happen today.
	People were asking me about this.
	Talk about Charles Kinsey.
	This is another police brutality case.
	Listen.
	I look at all these paper shuffling.
	I know people are...
	You're already rolling the clip.
	I'm rolling the clip.
	Here's the clip that Not Gay Jared is rolling.
	Put the sound on.
	I put the sound on?
	I can put the sound on.
	Let's put the sound on here.
	The video's already done.
	I'm like this right here.
	And when he shot me, it was so surprising.
	It was like a mosquito bite.
	And when he hit me...
	Okay, stop it.
	Stop it.
	We can only laugh because he's fine.
	He's not dead.
	Here's the deal.
	People are going, why aren't you expressing an opinion on this?
	Because we haven't seen the video of when he was shot.
	Now, like I've said, based on what we've seen of this, this is another police officer, for those listening terrestrially, it seems like he was, well, he's a therapist with an autistic patient in the road, laying on his back, his hands are up, he's trying to explain the situation, and then he's shot.
	That's what it, why are you laughing?
	I'm not laughing, it's just the mosquito thing still asking.
	It's just such an untypical way you would...
	Atypical.
	Atypical way.
	Untypical.
	That's not a word.
	Untypical.
	Atypical.
	Tweet me.
	Stop it.
	Don't dig this any deeper for yourself.
	I'm trying to help you because I care.
	It's such a sad way to describe a bullet shot.
	Mosquito bite.
	I don't know.
	Well, I mean, the guy's tough, I guess, but...
	So nonchalant.
	You and I both talked about this.
	We don't see what happens.
	That being said, someone who has been violently assaulted by a special needs person.
	My wife and I volunteered.
	I apologized over and over.
	I mean, they are strong.
	They are strong and it can happen.
	And it can be unpredictable.
	They're great people, but sometimes they get mad and they just swat or they just grab and bear hug.
	It can happen.
	That said, it didn't exactly look like he was about to charge anybody.
	It didn't look like the autistic man was about to charge anybody.
	So this looks like a really bad situation.
	Right?
	And I have to wait for more information because we don't really have a whole lot.
	But that's my opinion on the outset.
	We reserve the right to change it.
	Kind of like Sterling when it first happened.
	Here's what I was thinking earlier when it happened.
	I'm thinking, okay, this seems like it could be a legitimate case of really crappy police officers, maybe plural, I don't know.
	But because of the way Black Lives Matter screams about everything, when it happens, it trends.
	It doesn't really catch anybody's attention anymore.
	It's the little boy who cried racist cop.
	That's a book you didn't read, did you?
	It sounded like you said Cap.
	Cap.
	Was that the Cleveland Midwestern?
	No, it's a good point.
	It's like we've talked about with rape culture.
	Lena Dunham claiming she's raped.
	Amy Schumer now claiming she was raped.
	Everyone claiming they're raped.
	Not pressing charges.
	All regretful sex is rape.
	What happens when a woman is really raped?
	It's not nearly as impactful as it used to be.
	Remember when you were a kid and there was a rape scene in a film like Braveheart?
	Everyone talked about that for months.
	You can watch it, but this is a rough scene in Braveheart.
	The almost rape scene.
	Or if someone was raped, it was like a death sentence.
	And I hate to say it, but now the first instinct is, what do you mean rape?
	Are you blaming the victim?
	No.
	But when Linda Dunham says it, if she were to come out tomorrow and say I was raped again, people would say, well...
	Well, that would be the response, right?
	And it's the same.
	Black Lives Matter have...
	They've ruined it.
	Hopefully not irreparably have harmed black lives in the United States.
	Like you said, because Alton Sterling, like, well, that guy had a rap sheet a mile long and he had a gun on him and he resisted arrest.
	And so people become less sympathetic.
	As we've said, people become more racist.
	Then you have people gunning down cops.
	Everyone's polarized.
	No one wants to listen to each other.
	And then something like this happens where, again, based on the information we have, and it could change...
	It seems like everyone should agree this cop was at the very least negligent, should be charged.
	But it doesn't happen.
	It doesn't happen.
	It kind of falls on deaf ears.
	And you also get a lot of people who go too far the other way and just say, you know, he probably deserved it, just like Alton Sterling and Freddie Gray, whatever it is.
	So anyway, that's my opinion on that.
	We don't have enough yet.
	And I know people get disappointed because when you tune into AM radio and a lot of other stations, it's like, this is outrageous!
	This will not stand!
	Like, well, you know what?
	Sometimes it stands.
	So...
	This also reminds me, okay, while we're talking about polarization, I guess a lot of liberals have gone to troll the Republican convention.
	Did you see the video?
	You saw, there was a lot of videos of that.
	Yeah, do we have some rolling?
	We have some videos.
	Okay, so I know there was a, I forgot his name, black guy who trolled Alex Jones.
	I got that.
	Do you want to roll that?
	Let's roll that one first.
	And this is like considered a big victory for the left to go to the RNC and troll Alex Jones, I guess, on a non-official platform.
	Okay.
	I want you to have sex with my wife.
	So just try to be shocking.
	No, not at all.
	Really, here's my hotel key.
	I want you to have sex with my wife.
	And it gets worse.
	Okay.
	Listen, I hate to be the guy who just says, oh, is that the only clip?
	Or is there more from that clip?
	He just goes on and on and on.
	I hate to be the guy who says, that's not funny.
	But, you know, I don't...
	There are plenty of liberals who are wildly funny.
	I think Christopher Didis can be funny.
	He was just on the program.
	There was another one.
	Did you see the...
	I found one, too.
	We were talking about it a little bit earlier.
	There's that...
	Eric and...
	There's a comedy show.
	What show is it?
	Eric and...
	Eric and...
	I can't think of the name.
	We have a clip.
	We have a clip.
	And ladies and gentlemen, Roger Stone is going to be my guest any second now, so stay tuned.
	That's pretty good.
	And join us here at the Republican National Convention, all right, because we are going to take our party back!
	Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a lot too long to globalists.
	People are like, turd blossom.
	By the way, every time they do this...
	She said turd blossom.
	Even though Alex Jones was laughing.
	He was doing it.
	1776 is going to commence again if you do another Alex Jones impression.
	I thought that was pretty good.
	Nothing in there with powder.
	Believe me, it's going to make you feel real good.
	They're shooting something as well.
	That's the thing.
	It just gets to the point where it's lazy.
	That guy, he had a feud with you.
	He had a feud with me?
	Well, he was tweeting at you, angry tweets, all day, yesterday and today.
	Who?
	Eric somebody.
	So, Eric somebody.
	Okay.
	Well, listen, if he's treating angry tweets, then send him on.
	He's more than welcome to come on if he...
	Wait, are you...
	He has a show.
	He has a show on...
	Is it Cartoon Network or Comedy Central?
	Oh, is it the Tim and Eric show?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Tim and Eric.
	Tim and Eric.
	That's a funny show.
	I mean, I've seen some of it.
	That's a funny show.
	Yeah, he's one of them.
	He's been tweeting me?
	Mm-hmm.
	Okay, have him on.
	I mean, you can set it up.
	Have him on.
	That's fine.
	He's willing to come on the program if he has some grievances to air.
	Here's the deal.
	I think that show actually is pretty funny.
	It's really lazy as far as comedy goes.
	Okay, let me explain to you why.
	Like, compare it with Steve Carell or Stephen Colbert or Sacha Baron Cohen or even what we did with Jean-Guy.
	You're going to say, have sex with my wife.
	I guess he's doing the cuck thing, but then he went on to do the 9-11 inside job thing.
	There's no consistency.
	Your character has to believe in what you're saying.
	Now, that guy did a good Alex Jones impression, right?
	But then he goes, buy my pills!
	Buy my pills!
	There's nothing in there!
	It's just powder, but I think you're going to like them.
	Here's the deal.
	If you're going to do an impression of Alex Jones, you have to commit to the...
	Alex Jones would never say that.
	That's why it's not funny.
	I'm trying to explain to you why you may not think it's funny.
	As opposed to Bill Maher or John Stewart or Kathleen Madigan, who can be funny.
	When a character doesn't believe what they're saying...
	That's what removes you from the character.
	And it's no longer funny.
	If you're doing an impression of Alex Jones, it would be funny.
	It's committing to it.
	These pills are going to cure cancer.
	We're going to stop you from aging and getting fluoride on your tap.
	And we're the only ones who have the exclusive rights here at InfoWars.
	That's what you do.
	Alex Jones would never say, my pills are crappy.
	Just like Jean-Guy Tremblay, he went to a Bernie rally.
	Jean-Guy Tremblay was there for eight hours.
	Eight hours.
	They rolled him right up next to Bernie.
	So was his sad little knocky Jared friend who had to push his ass for eight hours.
	But for eight hours, and they rolled him right up next to Bernie, and the entire time, no one suspected.
	Because Jean-Guy loves Bernie.
	Jean-Guy would never say, but Barney is suck because he's socialist bastard.
	He wouldn't say that.
	That wouldn't be funny because it's not consistent with the character.
	And you can see that with Christopher Guest.
	It's people like Steve Carell or even Ed Helms.
	They all started on The Daily Show.
	What was funny about them was they would stay in character.
	Colbert was an O'Reilly character.
	It was a send-up.
	It was funny because there was consistency.
	Going up and saying, oh, I have sex with my wife.
	Here's my hotel key.
	It's not funny.
	There's nothing funny about that.
	And leftists aren't.
	They get really upset.
	But I hate it if conservatives just say, well, liberals aren't funny.
	No, they can be funny.
	But it's perfectly within your right to think, well, this isn't funny.
	But a lot of people don't know why.
	It's the same reason I hate that you think Jimmy Fallon is even remotely funny.
	I think the show's entertaining.
	I don't know if he's particular is funny, but the show can be entertaining.
	Like, when Will Ferrell...
	I know people are going to give me crap.
	When Will Ferrell once broke character in a sketch with Jerry Seinfeld...
	Everyone was laughing.
	Why?
	Because he'd earned that right.
	Will Ferrell stayed in character, was 100% committed, and was known for being an absolute professional.
	And then the one time he kind of giggled, it was hilarious.
	People went, this must be really funny.
	It's out of character for Will Ferrell.
	As opposed to Jimmy Fallon where his whole shtick is...
	It's like Carol Burnett.
	It's that whole laugh-in scenario where people are like, oh, the writing was so brilliant.
	It was fantastic.
	But we couldn't even get to it because it's just so funny.
	You have to take our word for it.
	Now we're all going to laugh at some inside joke.
	That really pisses me off.
	That's fair.
	Anyway.
	That's fair.
	Speaking of which, is it Robin Williams' birthday today?
	It is Robin Williams.
	That's always awkward to me when you celebrate the birthday of a day.
	It is.
	It trends.
	And then they celebrate the death day.
	Like, this is when Robert Williams passed.
	That's the death day anniversary.
	Well, it always concerns you when you see a celebrity's name trending at all, because you always think, ah, either they really screwed up or they're dead.
	Right.
	But then it's a birthday, you're like, well, which doesn't fall in either category if they're already dead.
	Right.
	Right.
	I don't know how you classify that.
	I don't know.
	It's awkward.
	It's awkward.
	It's like the people who keep up dead people's Facebooks long after they pass and tweet out and send messages from their Facebook.
	I know people do that.
	Stop it!
	Stop it!
	It's creepy.
	I think Andrew Breitbart's Twitter is still up.
	Really?
	Oh, we've got 30 seconds.
	Oh, jeez.
	Okay, we have 30 seconds.
	We have to talk about the golden ticket after the break.
	We do.
	So we have some submissions.
	We'll talk about that.
	We are opening this up to more people.
	If you want to apply to work at Ladder with Crowder, we're going to go through the best submissions from last week.
	And explain to you the other position available.
	And the hiring process, we're going to narrow it down.
	It's like a reality show, but without as many boobs.
	Or it's like a Fox News green room without as many boobs.
	Or it's like one of those books, a position for every day.
	Stop it.
	Ten seconds.
	Don't do that and then toss us to a break.
	Golden ticket.
	We'll come back.
	But this is just...
	All right.
	For Aggressive 911, what is your emergency?
	Yes.
	Hi.
	There is someone in my house.
	Downstairs.
	They've come in.
	They've ransacked the kitchen.
	My wife and my kids are in my room with me.
	I am here with the door closed, barricaded.
	Okay, that's very smart.
	I appreciate you taking those steps.
	First question, do you have any medical health protection available to you?
	Yes, I do.
	I have a smart gun with me.
	A smart gun?
	Fantastic.
	Excellent choice.
	That's a great way to ensure your family's safety.
	But also, more importantly, ensure that that firearm is Okay, okay, okay, I get it.
	What do I do?
	Uh, okay, sorry.
	I'm just fumbling a little bit.
	I entered the wrong one.
	Hold on, let me try again.
	Wrong password?
	Did you change the password, sweetie?
	I don't know.
	The password isn't working.
	- Hey, open up this door. - This is common. - Hey. - Think, clear, and remember what the password is.
	- No, no, no, no, no.
	Now it's not only not taking the password, it's giving me a different sound.
	It's saying I'm locked out.
	Okay, that is a security mechanism because you've entered the incorrect password too many times.
	Let me do a favor here.
	Hold on one moment.
	Let me see if I can reset that from my end.
	Reset it from your end?
	The guy is getting upstairs.
	I need to be able to use my gun.
	What does that mean?
	Oh, dear.
	Yeah, you've simply entered the incorrect password too many times, so now I don't have it.
	What does that mean?
	What does that mean?
	Just get my gun working.
	Well, I don't know if I can do that.
	I'm in there.
	I know you're in there.
	How close are you to your wife and kids?
	Might as well open up the door.
	We'll be back.
	Thank you.
	Glad to be back.
	Third hour.
	Well, no, we are.
	We're following the RNC as it goes live this week.
	There's no professionality anymore.
	No, there is none.
	There's no professionality anymore.
	All right, we do have to talk about this.
	So we launched the golden ticket.
	People want to work for Louder with Crowder.
	But we're going to announce some new terms.
	So if you want to work it louder with Crowder, here's your opportunity.
	That's it.
	That's the golden ticket.
	High production value.
	That's why we need more people.
	That's why we need more people.
	Okay, so we announced last week we are hiring a video producer.
	Full-time, must be willing.
	Here's the old.
	We were pretty stringent.
	We said you must title it, I've got a golden ticket.
	Your first line must be I'm not worthy, period, followed by your resume and why we should hire you.
	And we said, listen, it needs to be full-time.
	You need to be willing to relocate.
	And even with that, after discarding the ones that don't count because they didn't get the right title, they didn't include the right information, we had at least a couple hundred submissions, right?
	Yeah, at least 150, 200, something like that.
	Okay.
	So give us a couple snapshots from the best submissions thus far.
	We're narrowing it down, and then I'll announce the next position to work with Ladder with Crowder.
	Yeah, so most of them were either great or non-legible.
	Right.
	So I've got a selection for you.
	Disturbing.
	Yes, disturbing.
	All right, let's see.
	Well, here we got one.
	This one got creative.
	I am not worthy, followed by why we should hire you.
	Your resume reel.
	Keep it brief.
	Don't go super long.
	One more time.
	Okay, I get it.
	He just wrote exactly what I said.
	Yeah, but you would think after all that trouble, he would attach a resume.
	There was no resume?
	That was the entirety of it.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Okay, so we'll put that, well, that's probably a no.
	No, that's probably not.
	Oh, let's give us another one.
	Let's go, we should hire you.
	This guy submitted a whole deal now.
	This is his reel?
	This is his reel.
	And then he gets a great little, uh, photography.
	This is the best part right here.
	I've got a golden ticket.
	That's it.
	No punctuation.
	That's not bad.
	No.
	Here we go.
	Word splicing.
	What kind of culture lets that happen that isn't our bad?
	Um, no.
	I had sex and now we're moving on.
	And yes, I understand that people have had their poop hole torn up.
	That does not matter.
	Renewed.
	So we got that guy.
	That was a submission?
	That was a submission.
	Let's put that one, let's narrow that one guy should be good.
	Good editing, and that was pretty childish and funny.
	Yeah, speaking of childish, my favorite one was from a guy who dressed himself as Mr.
	Dick Butt.
	Dick Butt?
	His name was Dick Butt, d.butt at something.com.
	So Dick Butt, that's an actual name.
	I think it's probably pronounced Dick Butte.
	Butte?
	Yeah, like Crested Butte, Colorado.
	I thought the same thing, until I realized he included this graph for my reference.
	That's Dick Butt.
	What?
	Was there a resume?
	No, that was it.
	That was it?
	That was entirety.
	Let's file that one under maybe.
	Maybe.
	Do we have any more of those?
	No.
	We also had some angry conservative Muslims who said they may work for us, they may bomb us, we don't know.
	Well, that's to be expected.
	Yeah.
	Well, thank you.
	Listen, it's a competitive job marketplace out there.
	So you can either be catching Pokemon or you can be catching a job at Lotter with Crowder.
	Here's the next position that's available.
	Now, you will go to LotterwithCrowder.com.
	There is a post there.
	You will, again, title it.
	If you can't enter a title, it depends on what email.
	Internet.
	Application.
	Internet Explorer.
	What do you call that?
	Internet Explorer.
	Your browser.
	Yeah, your browser.
	Gosh.
	The internet application.
	See?
	I don't know.
	Some of you don't have a title.
	So your first line then will be, I've got a golden ticket.
	Period.
	I'm not worthy.
	Period.
	Followed by why you are qualified for this position.
	Keep it short.
	And your resume or sample.
	And you don't need to include all of your political opinions in it, too.
	No, we don't need all of your political opinions.
	We kind of assume you're somewhat on board.
	I'd rather see...
	I mean, listen, we've had Catholics, we've had Protestants, we've had atheists, we've had agnostics, we've had libertarians, we've had conservatives.
	So, there you go.
	Knock on that.
	Golden ticket.
	You can't now if you're watching live because it doesn't work that way.
	This position is part-time, so you don't need to relocate, but it's sort of like three-quarter time.
	It pays better than a lot of other sites that do part-time.
	Listen, I've worked for other news agencies.
	Obviously, you know the sites like Breitbart, like Blaze, and then, of course, there's a gaggle of clickbait sites out there.
	I know what they pay.
	It pays better here.
	Not only that, but we keep a team really limited.
	It's usually a revolving door of people in news who just come in, get an intern, get them the right copy, give a hat tip, get them out.
	That's kind of the business.
	We keep it limited to, I can count on one hand the amount of people who are working.
	As we grow, maybe two hands.
	See, there's two hands right there, jazz hands.
	This one is for a writer.
	So your submissions are going to be going to Courtney.
	So you're going to go to the website.
	I've got a golden ticket.
	You follow my instructions, and you will submit your writing samples and your resume.
	Why you should be writing for louderwithcrowder.com.
	And what we want you to do as well is take something topical, so something that's happened in the last day or two, and write something about that.
	That would be similar to what we write at louderwithcryder.com.
	That way we can see that you can turn it around quickly.
	This job would include writing several pieces a day and turning them around quickly, finding pitches, including them, and working with the team.
	Again, we're a very small team right now.
	It's me, Courtney, Casey, Brodigan.
	And Courtney is one of the best writers there is, period.
	Casey is younger and she's fantastic.
	She's coming along.
	Brodigan is just a fantastic pitch man.
	He doesn't write things as in-depth, but he brings in stories constantly, if I miss them.
	I'm always reading the news.
	So this is the position.
	Finding stories, being a part of the thread, pitches, and writing for LadderWithCrowder.com.
	And it can move into a full-time position.
	Courtney was part-time, she's full-time.
	Jerry was part-time, he's full-time.
	Several other people have been offered full-time, and they've either stayed part-time, some of them have moved on.
	So...
	If you want to work with a lot of with Crowder.com, I hope we've crystallized that, and this one can be done remotely from anywhere.
	A lot of people have been asking if they can write for the site.
	Well, there you go.
	Merry Christmas.
	There you go.
	You can write for the site.
	So what do they write in the email?
	I've got a golden ticket, and I'm not worthy.
	You just want to hear me say that.
	Well, yeah, that's obvious.
	Yeah, one minute.
	But I will say this.
	I've been remarkably impressed with young people, and I will say this.
	The myth that women aren't funny.
	Read Courtney Kirchhoff.
	Read Casey Burnett's stuff over at ladderwithcreditor.com.
	They are uproariously funny.
	And I think it's changed generationally.
	I think people who work online, women, are maybe a little more organized.
	And so we've had good luck with women on the writing front if they have worked remotely or have to manage their own schedule, right?
	Because the writers aren't in an office setting.
	And we've had really good luck with particularly young women who are just really funny.
	Courtney is just really...
	I mean, we have her on the show.
	People always say, have her back.
	Casey is really funny.
	She's not been on the show yet.
	She will.
	They're just funny writers.
	I read it sometimes.
	This idea that women aren't funny, most like Sarah Silverman, obviously.
	Amy Schumer, yes.
	Lena Dunham, of course.
	But there are funny women out there.
	Speaking of...
	Also, speaking of Brodigan, he's coming up next.
	We're going to play Hipster or Hobo.
	Oh, good times.
	Good times.
	Good times.
	Stay tuned.
	Stay tuned.
	Shoot bad guys.
	With what?
	AR-15.
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com.
	Oh, there's another one.
	Kaboom!
	You got him.
	Yeah.
	Thank God for AR-15.com.
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web.
	Oh no, there's another one.
	Kaboom!
	You got him.
	Yeah.
	With your what?
	AR-15.
	From where?
	AR-15.com.
	That's the best place to go, and that's the takeaway, because this commercial's about to stop!
	For breaking news on Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Martha.
	We now return you live to Ben Carson's speech taking place underway at the RNC. I think this time we understand red or blue.
	We are all Americans.
	And both versions are fine Pokemon games.
	I first bought the red, but then moved on to blue and found that I too find that to be an enjoyable experience.
	I don't know about the Pokemon Go business.
	I'm more old school.
	I also had Glad to be back.
	We have...
	We don't have too much time with this segment, but this is...
	We were just talking about brilliant writers over there at the show, brilliant contributors, and this is a man...
	You've heard his intro song before.
	Like I always say, he's one of the best pitchmen.
	Pitchmen.
	Pitchmans.
	Gosh.
	Pitchmen in the business.
	When you hear this...
	What could that be?
	Could it be a pirate?
	It could be a pirate.
	Or just someone who's horrendously handicapped.
	Or maybe, like...
	And you assumed it was a peglight.
	A viking.
	A viking.
	No.
	That would be very Viking-ish.
	No.
	No.
	We'd hear more spines being ripped.
	That is our resident Mick.
	Mick Brody, Brodigan, who writes at sometimes, ladderwithcudder.com.
	Brodigan, thank you for being with us, sir.
	How are you, sir?
	I am doing well.
	Oh, look at the beard.
	It's growing even longer.
	I know.
	I actually just brushed it.
	I have my special beard brush.
	Oh, is that like a horse brush?
	Yes.
	That's what it looks like.
	It looks like I knew someone who used to brush horses.
	Is that actually a horse brush?
	I think it's called a horse bristle brush.
	Okay, a horse bristle brush.
	So okay, it's probably inspired by, but probably not the same as a horse brush.
	Hopefully they don't make Brodigan into glue.
	Are you aware of what we're doing here this evening, Brodigan?
	You're going to show me things and I'm going to decide if it's a hobo or a hipster.
	Right, exactly.
	So we're playing hipster or hobo.
	So you've seen us probably play Spot the Tranny, newest gender pronoun.
	It's very similar.
	It's so people on Twitter can play along.
	And yeah, we are going to, well, let's hit it.
	Hipster or hobo, I wish I knew.
	Hipster hobo Both look like crackheads Both are obnoxious assholes Both will destroy the value of your property You know, I've been doing conservative podcasting for about 85 years now and that's the first Simon and Garfunkel parody I've ever heard.
	Really?
	Well, no, we have them on reserve.
	They're good friends of the show.
	Okay.
	I met Art Garfunkel when I was doing Arthur as a kid, and that was back when you couldn't talk about Paul Simon.
	It's a handy connection.
	I had no idea who he was, and Yo-Yo Ma was in there one time.
	I'm like, who's the Asian with the big guitar?
	I'm like, that's Yo-Yo Ma.
	He's silly.
	He's a dumb little kid, offended everybody at PBS. Okay, so the rules are, we're going to show you, and then we're going to have to determine if you think it's a hipster or hobo.
	It's relatively simple.
	And on Twitter, tweet us, at Askrowder or at Brodigan, and play along.
	Jared?
	Yep, number one.
	Number one.
	Five seconds.
	Okay.
	Is that a hipster or a hobo?
	I don't see anything.
	You don't see it?
	Oh, you know what?
	You're not going to see anything until I change this setting for you.
	Okay, not KGA. Come on.
	He has to be able to see.
	People on Twitter saw that.
	And honestly, that's a hard one to start with.
	Is he seeing it now?
	He will see it now.
	I'm seeing me.
	Yeah, you're seeing you.
	It's because Not Gay Jared is going to be a hobo soon.
	He's going to be living in a box on the street.
	Boom.
	There we go.
	Is that a hipster or a hobo?
	Oh, God.
	I'm going to go hipster.
	You're going to go hipster?
	I'm going to agree.
	I'm going to say hipster.
	What could it be?
	That one is a hipster, you see.
	You should have known by his fair trade tee.
	Okay, we got that one right.
	So we're both one and one.
	It gets worse for me.
	It just goes downhill fast.
	Okay, give us hipster or hobo.
	Hold on, let me check with Twitter.
	Let me check with Twitter what people thought.
	Hipster.
	Everyone thought it was hipster.
	All right, Twitter, you're doing well.
	So everyone seems to be...
	So get in the game.
	One more easy one so we can...
	Okay, one more easy one.
	Hipster or hobo?
	Tweet me.
	Boom.
	Oh, come on now.
	Ooh, um...
	Hmm.
	That looks like Christopher Lloyd.
	I've seen a lot of those in Brooklyn, but I'm going to say hobo.
	Uh...
	Well, just because of age, I'm gonna say hobo.
	Hobo?
	What was that?
	Every time.
	Alright.
	That one is a hobo indeed.
	Just third grade math, no GED. Okay.
	That was Christopher Lloyd.
	That was Christopher Lloyd as a hobo?
	Yeah, Dennis the Menace, classic.
	All right, I've got to tweet someone correct on Twitter.
	Show Brodigan the next image here while I'm tweeting something.
	All right, number three there for you.
	What do you say, Brodigan?
	Oh, that's hard.
	Oh, wow.
	He's Asian, so I'm going to say hipster.
	Okay, well, hold on.
	And it's true, because Asians are either completely old, out of touch, or they're, like, ultra-hip with the crazy, ultra-modern, you know, Burger King Kids Club video game haircut.
	Here's the deal.
	The reason why is because, honestly, it's becoming harder to tell with hipsters or hobos.
	I knew a hipster, I swear to you, who actually deliberately receded his hairline.
	Mm-hmm.
	Okay.
	You say hipster.
	I'm going to...
	I need to be contrarian.
	Hobo.
	Okay.
	That one is a hobo indeed.
	He likes methadone and Asian feet.
	Okay, well, all right.
	Rodigan walked right into that one.
	Let me check the Twitter.
	Right into it.
	You know what?
	That one fooled some people.
	Really?
	But some people said the same thing.
	Age.
	Yeah, I agree with you, Rodigan.
	Okay, Jared, how many more do we have of these?
	We got a couple.
	Here we go.
	All right, let's go.
	Let's go to this one.
	Okay, that one?
	Quickly now.
	All right, I'm going to say hipster, obviously.
	Hipster.
	Yeah, it's gotta be hipster.
	Alright.
	That one is a hipster indeed.
	He's unemployed and he votes Bernie.
	Hipster.
	Gotta let it play out, Brodigan.
	We have 60 new notifications.
	People just playing hipster or hobo.
	Everything else tonight, it's hipster or hobo is what people want to play.
	Chewbacca's lover, hipster, for sure.
	Black Lives Matters, gay rights, Islamophobia, it doesn't matter.
	We want hipster or hobo.
	We want hipster or hobo.
	Well, you're lucky, Brodigan.
	Okay, let's get another one.
	Here we go.
	Here we go now.
	Okay, Brodigan, you go first.
	That's gotta be a hipster.
	He's got too many expensive clothes on.
	Exactly.
	That man paid a lot to look like that hobo.
	That's not part of the song, too.
	That wasn't nice.
	That's not usually.
	They're really going...
	They're taking a weird turn, Simon and Garfunkel.
	They are.
	It's just, you know, they're trying to keep up.
	It is hard that that person is...
	I mean, Brodigan, you live in Brooklyn.
	They're clearly trying to dress homeless now.
	I mean, that's the new style.
	It's like Zoolander, but in real life.
	Trash.
	Yes.
	I can't believe it's gone this far.
	Okay, 20 new notifications on that one.
	Everyone got that one.
	Give us a hard one.
	All right, here we go.
	Okay.
	Okay, wow.
	Okay.
	That's a tough one for people listening terrestrially.
	This one is legitimately a tough one.
	It could go either way.
	I'm going to say Trick Question, and that's actually Mickey Rourke.
	That's actually, yeah.
	I'm going to say Hobo.
	I'll say Hobo.
	That one is a hobo indeed.
	He sold his son for a bag of weed.
	That got dark.
	That got remarkably dark.
	How much time do we have left in the segment?
	We've got time.
	We've got six minutes left.
	So we have two more examples?
	Okay, so hold on a second.
	Let me check with Twitter.
	Everyone is winning.
	That was PC's beard.
	Okay, so people are winning.
	What's the score now, Jared?
	Is Brodigan winning?
	I think he's winning by one.
	He's ahead by one.
	Brodigan, you know what?
	I hate to say this, but with your beard, we could just put you in an outfit and you could be a part of this.
	Let's do it.
	All right.
	I didn't know that pause, if he was offended or if he was offended.
	What outfits do I have?
	Oh, yes, we can do that.
	Yes, I ride for a ladder with Crowder and get easily offended.
	Yeah, this is true.
	Well, of course, you know, Roger Ailes ain't got nothing on me with what I do with that beard.
	All right, here we go.
	All right, let's see this one.
	It's not sexual harassment when you enjoy it.
	Okay, this one.
	That's tough.
	That looks like a terrorist.
	That is tough.
	I'm gonna go hobo.
	I am going to say hobo with that one as well.
	That definitely looks like a hobo, but it's hard to tell.
	Yes, that one's a hobo, you see.
	He lives in a box, he smells like pee.
	Is there still any questions?
	Those listening are missing out.
	The dude was...
	Urinating on the street.
	I mean, this right here is a fine detail that you'll never get on, like, The Blaze or The Tony Katz Show or, like, Fox News.
	The fact that we actually have, like, new songs for each one.
	It takes a lot of work.
	It takes a lot of work to create such an awful train wreck.
	Hold on.
	Let me check Twitter.
	People are playing along.
	Number six, Hobo.
	Hobo Jimi Hendrix lookalike.
	Hobo, Hobo, Hobo, Hobo.
	Gotta be.
	Hipster?
	Hobo terrorist.
	Which one?
	So, a couple people got that one wrong.
	Alright, let's get another one.
	Is this the last one?
	Let me get a couple more.
	Okay, two more.
	Alright.
	What do you say there?
	Oh, the Papsule ribbon.
	Yeah, the Papsule ribbon makes him a hipster.
	Come on.
	That's the crappy one.
	Alright, I have to do this regardless.
	That one is a hipster, you see.
	He drinks crappy beer out of irony.
	Yep.
	Good call.
	That one's easy with Papaloo Ribbon.
	You're in Brooklyn.
	When I used to live in New York, they would almost advertise at the crappy bars for hipsters how cheap their PBR was.
	Is that still the case?
	On and off.
	Everything's gotten a lot more expensive.
	Yeah, it used to be like, we have $2 PBR. And then the place next to it would be like, screw them, we have $1.50 PBR. And then one place that wasn't quite internet would say, we have Schlitz!
	I think now it's more of a, we have gourmet PBR. Yes.
	Where they part into a beer class and they put like cookies and like whipped cream and, you know, garnishments all over it.
	You know, probably, I've never had a PBR. You're not missing anything.
	You're not missing anything at all.
	You count yourself among the blisters.
	Two more, because I think this one's going to get you.
	Okay, two more.
	Two more.
	Hipster hobo.
	Here we go.
	What are you saying?
	Oh, I think that's, if you said that, that's misleading because of the tent, so we assume hobo.
	I'm good to reverse psychology now.
	What do you think, Brodigan?
	I'm going to say not only hipster, hipster camping out for lumineer tickets.
	Yes, I think it's a hipster as well because it seems too obvious.
	That one is a hipster, you see.
	He's also gay.
	He has HIV. Come on.
	That's just unnecessary.
	Well, you know, it's not unnecessary.
	These songs are accurate.
	We got clearance from the people in the images.
	We got clearance from everyone except for Paul Simon.
	Yes, yes, exactly.
	All right, last one.
	Okay, last one.
	Hold on a second, let me check.
	People playing along here on the Twitter.
	It's really hard.
	Steven Crowder, if you got a beer and betrayed someone.
	Okay.
	All right, that one was too easy.
	Okay, we've got one more.
	Someone says they still prefer Spot the Tranny.
	Well, sorry, Steve.
	Sorry for trying to create something new.
	You people don't deserve this.
	I'm grateful.
	We're never going daily.
	Never.
	Never going daily.
	Don't ever ask.
	This one here.
	Go watch The Young Turks.
	Yes.
	There we go.
	Last one.
	What do you guys say?
	Oh, okay.
	This is a trick one.
	I know this.
	Brodigan?
	Um...
	What's your heart say, Brodigan?
	Do you need to see it one more time, Brodigan?
	Let him see it one more time.
	Not good, Jared.
	That could go either way.
	It really could.
	He looks too metalhead to be a hobo, so I'm going to say hipster.
	Okay.
	I have to stay away from this one, so let's just leave that one abroad again.
	That one is a tranny, you see, but that game's not until next week.
	Ah, so it's neutral.
	That's a wash.
	I know, that was Gavin McGinnis!
	That was Gavin McGinnis!
	That was Gavin McGinnis!
	That'll take, that'll take.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	That's him.
	See that now, Brodigan?
	Okay.
	That's Gavin.
	Back in the day, tearing it up in Montreal.
	Okay.
	Gavin rocks a napalm death.
	Nice.
	Yes, yes, Gavin.
	Well, Gavin was a punk rocker, so there you go.
	The point is, Brodigan lives in Brooklyn.
	It's getting increasingly hard, and everyone hates the hipsters.
	But, okay, Brodigan, where's the best place for people to find you?
	We have to let you go.
	Louderwithcrowder.com.
	Louderwithcrowder.com.
	Or at Brodigan.
	What a self-serving plug that was.
	I don't know.
	At one point, he was like, don't let anyone know because I'm scared of the stuff you say.
	Who isn't?
	We're all scared to death.
	Hang up on Brodigan.
	He has to go work for me.
	Get him back to his job.
	Thank you, Brodigan, for coming in.
	Thank you very much.
	Exactly.
	Get in the Vietnamese hammock that's in the back of the closet.
	Holy smokes.
	That was a fun game.
	It was a fun game.
	Hipster or hobo.
	I really like the hipster or hobo.
	We don't have time for the outro.
	Nope.
	Gosh, it's coming in.
	Oh, that's a Sonic the Hedgehog theme.
	It is a Sonic the Hedgehog theme.
	Sorry, I know everyone's going, well, listen, we're running opposite the Republican National Convention, and that's so not fun.
	We try to have a little more fun.
	It's the opposite of fun.
	With the hipster or hobo.
	I don't think I've ever felt like less of a Republican than currently this second.
	It's just not fun.
	No.
	We're going to wrap up this show.
	Be back after this.
	I'm stuck in my car and I'm blocked in.
	I'm in an alleyway.
	In the back alleyway of Grasmere Parkway, and there's a man trying to break into my car, and he has alluded toward sexual assault.
	Okay, first step, you're in your car.
	You put a barrier between yourself and the assailant.
	That's very clever.
	Are your doors locked?
	Yes, they are locked.
	Okay, that's a good step.
	Now, you do not have a firearm on your person at this time, do you?
	And if you do, is it a smart firearm?
	No, I don't carry a firearm.
	I'm just a rape whistle.
	Okay.
	You're much more likely to have your own firearm used against you.
	Okay, I know, I know!
	Just help me!
	Alright.
	Are you familiar with how to use a rape whistle?
	Just like any other whistle?
	Well, you will purse your lips on the whistle.
	Just like that, correct?
	Okay, and what does that do?
	Not a whole lot.
	It's been found to be more comforting for the user.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	There are more people running to the car.
	Oh, that's unfortunate.
	What do you mean?
	Yeah, recent alarming studies have indicated that rape whistles can sometimes have the adverse effect in alerting more rapists to your location.
	What?
	I know, but there's nothing definitive on those studies, so we don't know if that's why they've showed up yet.
	None of this helps me now.
	I have a taser.
	Okay, taser, that's a good second line of defense.
	Can you get a clear point of contact?
	No, only if I open the window.
	Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
	What I want you to do is charge that taser and roll down that window just enough to make contact.
	Hopefully that will be enough to scare you off until the authorities come to your location.
	Okay, hold on.
	Oh my gosh, no, it just seems to have made him more mad.
	He's not doing anything.
	He seems of anything to be getting stronger.
	Oh dear, that means he's on PCB. Wait!
	Yes!
	Yes!
	What's happening?
	I just found...
	My boyfriend keeps a smart gun in the glove compartment and I found it!
	Thank God!
	Well, that's good to hear.
	So, next question is...
	Are your palms sweaty at all?
	Why?
	I'm on PCP! We're
	back.
	Last segment of the show.
	That was like 20,000-something leagues under the sea over there.
	No, it wasn't.
	It was nothing like that.
	That was a terrible book I didn't read.
	You know what I realized?
	I never read any of those books in college or high school.
	We didn't read Tom Sawyer.
	We didn't read any Twain.
	We didn't read any of the classics.
	I read, like, Tears of a Tiger was one.
	It was a social justice book.
	In college, even in English class, I'd have you read Chomsky.
	Well, yeah, you're reading Shakespeare.
	What kind of depressing crap that is.
	Oh, well, they had us, and I remember they tried to be hip.
	They had us watch that movie.
	Oh, it was like a hip urban version.
	It was just really bad.
	And not a big fan of the Shakespeare.
	But I read Othello.
	I've read Macbeth.
	I think everyone has to read Romeo and Juliet.
	So I've given it three shots, and I said no.
	I preferred the wishbone rendition.
	The worst thing I ever had to read was the Iliad.
	I freaking hated that crap.
	I don't even know that book.
	I did read Catch in the Rock.
	You know, actually, this is a true story.
	Remember, I loved this teacher.
	As far left as can be, his name was Mr.
	Mitchell in my senior year in high school.
	And it was very clear as to what your grade would be.
	You had to write every day.
	Every single day you had a journal, you just had to write every single day.
	That was 10% of your grade.
	You got a point taken off every day you didn't write.
	That was it.
	He just wanted kids to write.
	We would read a book every semester, and you would have a written test in the book.
	You would have to write some form of a book report and...
	Well, sorry, every term, not semester.
	Four terms.
	And then once a term, you either had an oral presentation that was a persuasive essay or you had some additional, like a literary essay.
	So it was very clear.
	You had about four pieces of work.
	You knew exactly what you were graded on and how they were weighed.
	And kids did really well.
	People really liked him.
	He was a new teacher.
	He was enthusiastic.
	He took extra time.
	And the administration threatened to fire him because they said his grades were too high on average.
	As far as I'm concerned, as a teacher, your goal should be that every student gets 100% at the end of the year.
	That should be the goal.
	That seems logical.
	At the end of the year, every student should be batting 100%.
	And instead, they came down on him saying, you're bringing up the average too much.
	I don't know why that was a problem.
	So he just said, listen, so all of you, you're probably going to get about a three-point cutoff from your last grade if you keep it consistent.
	He's like, I'm sorry, but I have to do this.
	His name was Paul Mitchell, and he was a great teacher.
	He was the only teacher who ever called my parents to say, you know what?
	You've got a kid who...
	He's different, but I really think he's a good kid, and the kid can write, and he really cares, and he puts in the extra effort, whereas everyone else always would call to complain.
	My tech teacher, my moral and ethics teacher, my math teacher, they always called to complain.
	And he was the only one who went out of his way to say, you know, I bet you probably get some calls.
	He seems, like, frustrated, but he is really probably one of my best students.
	Hmm.
	That was really nice.
	I just remember that.
	You know, it touched my life.
	A good teacher like that.
	And we talked about that last week.
	Those little daily interactions.
	Let me say one thing.
	Like I said, the tightest debate is not my proudest moment here on the show.
	He came on.
	It was heated when he came on.
	He was on a hair trigger.
	Got personal.
	Was getting sidetracked.
	Let me say this.
	I have...
	And same with Zach Ford.
	Zach Ford we had on the show.
	We retweeted him.
	He this week got into some hot water.
	He tweeted something out that could be interpreted as though...
	He supported the killings of cops.
	I think he misspoke, and he apologized, and we retweeted it, and he actually felt comfortable to send it to us like, hey, here's what I really meant to say.
	They've both been on the program.
	Harrison Greenbaum, Lear Keith, they've been heated debates.
	I have zero ill will or hatred in my heart for any of them.
	At all.
	And I really hope that none of you do, watching or listening to this show.
	Like I said, should Milo ever be banned?
	No, of course not.
	But Milo even said in his recent interview, he said some of the things sent to Leslie Jones were really awful.
	That's what Milo said.
	I really hope that you don't do those things, if you're listening here.
	I haven't seen it a ton.
	I know people can get overzealous and fans can at least be aggressive in trying to set up debates online and they can be disturbers.
	I get it.
	But I really do hope that you don't send a black person a picture of them next to a gorilla or send a swastika to a Jewish person.
	And I really hope that you understand that neither not gay Jared or I, no matter how loud we get or argue with someone, that we don't hate these people.
	Where do poop swastikas fall on that?
	Poop swastikas?
	Are those fair game?
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Asking for a friend.
	It's pretty funny.
	You can file them right next to unicorns because there's no proof of their existence.
	Or you can file them right next to a non-pedophile Mohammed because that doesn't happen.
	They're just not there.
	See what I did there?
	A little bit of a stretch, but it's late in the evening.
	We had some tech issues.
	So that is something, listen, you don't have to.
	You don't have to hate somebody.
	You don't have to be angry.
	You can be passionate and you can be mad.
	Here's the thing, too.
	Anger is not immoral.
	You can yell.
	You can get into a debate.
	You can even insult in retort if someone insults you.
	All of those things can occur and you don't have to hate somebody.
	And I meant what I said with Christopher Titus in the Webex Senate edition.
	I know they're going to come for him.
	He's making a movie now about special needs police officers.
	Oh, gosh.
	I know the social justice left is going to come after him, and when they do, he's welcome to come on here and make his case.
	I do not like what Christopher Titus has to say.
	I do not like what Zach Ford has to say.
	We have vehement disagreements.
	I will always defend the right to say it.
	If Zach Ford were banned tomorrow from Twitter, I would say the exact same thing that I'm saying about Milo.
	And, I mean, hopefully more people see it that way.
	I'm not unbiased.
	That's another thing, too.
	People go, oh, I'm not trying to play it down the middle.
	I'm not unbiased.
	I have a point of view.
	Please, fact check this program.
	Oh, speaking of fact check, I need to correct something from last week.
	So, everyone knows I'm French-Canadian.
	Of course, I was born in Detroit, raised in Montreal.
	So I learned to read and write French, actually, before English.
	I spoke them both simultaneously, but I didn't read English until later.
	And, uh...
	Nice, France.
	People are saying nice.
	They're going, you said it wrong.
	It's nice.
	No, it's not.
	That's not a word in French.
	So the reason I was saying nice is the same reason where, like, there's a famous beer I really like called finjimonde.
	But I don't go to a bar and say finjimonde.
	I say finjimonde because I know people won't understand me.
	I'm trying to say it the right, wrong way for people.
	Lingerie is not a word in French.
	It's lingerie.
	So however you want to say it.
	Nice, that's not a word in French.
	But we issued that correction.
	I'm sure I mispronounced it.
	It would be nice in French.
	Or nice.
	It wouldn't be nice.
	So anyway, hopefully you people, you have a good week.
	It's been a rough week for a lot of people listening.
	The RNC has been going on.
	I understand a lot of people saying, hey man, I've never felt more disconnected from the Republican Party or the conservative movement.
	Listen, you're not alone, but that doesn't mean that you throw the baby out with the bathwater.
	It doesn't mean that there's no hope.
	It doesn't mean all people, here's something too, all people can be redeemed.
	We have seen people make changes drastically in their 60s, 70s.
	All people can be redeemed, and it's easier to do so.
	If you don't, hey, a lot of the crowd are, stay tuned.

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