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March 4, 2016 - Louder with Crowder
02:18:44
#64 Sexy Time with Tomi Lahren, John Phillips, and GOP | Louder With Crowder
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Time Text
You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
Politics.
Civility?
How about honesty in this country, folks?
Entertainment.
I don't like entertainment.
And a whole bunch of other stuff.
It's about having a healthy body image.
If you have a very unhealthy body, you should have a horrible body image.
Not a big home improvement market in Detroit.
We are definitely going to get letters.
You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
You're a strange animal You're getting louder with Crowder.
Oh, I'm in the speedy test.
Wow!
All right, don't speak yet.
I know what you're thinking.
That sound means it's the sound of the weekend.
Producing with me in studio, as always, is Jared, who is not gay.
You can follow him on Twitter at NotGayJarred.
Follow me at SCrowder.
I've fulfilled all my legal obligations.
Draw your own conclusions.
Are we good?
We're good.
We're good.
This has been a crazy week.
You're not supposed to say the day, because some stations are syndicating this on the weekend.
That's true.
It's the weekend already, which is crazy.
Here's the deal.
This is a once-a-week show.
It's designed to be a once-a-week show.
We're not trying to fleece you out of your money by doing a best-of show and cram in some more dollars like those weekday hacks.
Don't you just hate that on radio?
Or it's like the best-of.
There's no continuity.
There's no beginning, middle, and end.
It's like someone saying, here's a chapter from Moby Dick, here's War and Peace, and here's the Babysitter's Club.
Go!
Oh, it's miserable.
It's awful.
It's a once-a-week show, so we live-stream this Thursday night, capturing everything that happens in the week, and we give you all the news that is fit to print.
Unfair, unbalanced.
We have great guests today.
Great guests.
Tommy Loren will be on.
We have the best guests.
We have the best guests and the best words.
Okay.
John Phillips is on.
Gerald Morgan will be on.
Not the athlete.
Not the athlete.
The other John Phillips.
Yeah.
Is there a John Phillips athlete?
There is a John Phillips athlete.
Okay.
Well, I wasn't aware.
And then maybe or maybe not John Kasich.
We have an exclusive Perry Matheson out there on the field, so we don't know exactly what we're going to be doing.
That's a busy guy.
That is a busy guy.
That is a busy man, Perry Matheson.
He puts Geraldo to shame.
Well, I don't think that's not...
Well, remember when Geraldo...
You're too young.
Do you remember when he gave away the coordinates?
He was out there in battle.
I do kind of remember something about that.
We are at latitude 48.
Here's a picture of my penis from the locker room, and people are just going...
I just remember when I was in Georgia, an Atlanta area, and this guy had escaped the courthouse, shot a bunch of people, and was hiding in some lady's house.
This was back years ago.
I don't know if you remember this.
And way before the police could get to the lady's apartment, Geraldo arrives in his helicopter.
So he's there waiting for the authorities.
For some reason, I picture him not landing with a helicopter, just hovering.
Just waiting.
Just hovering.
Just waiting.
Yeah, actually, I tell you what, I know Geraldo.
He was very nice to me.
He was one of the nicest guys at Fox News.
Some of the nicest people when I was at Fox were the leftists, to be honest.
And I think the reason was I didn't just treat them like a punching bag.
You know, Alan Combs, I would go on his show all the time, and it was, I mean, we actually try and do this thing relatively...
Well, but I would go on, and it would be a melee.
He would do it on Friday nights, and there would be two other leftists, plus Alan Combs and me.
And it was just, no points were made at that point, but he used to play these hilarious calls with people who just hated him.
The guy has a sense of humor.
Unfortunately, he looks like E.T. That's just hard to overcome in television.
I've never thought of that.
Every time I look at Alan Combs, I think of him in a cornfield going, Boo!
I can see that, but he looks a little bit like the signs, you know, Mel Gibson, alien a little bit to me, too.
Little known fact, easiest way to defeat an alien is the substance of which 70% of our planet has made, water.
That is extremely convenient.
I feel like with M. Night Shyamalan, it's just, how are you going to screw me this time?
That's what you're really paying for.
Speaking of getting screwed, so there are debates going on as we tape this live.
They're ongoing, but some big stories we want to get to this week.
Obviously, Mitt Romney came out in this whole kerfuffle with Trump.
That's pretty important.
Caitlyn Jenner.
I don't know if you've read this.
Caitlyn Jenner came out.
I love this so much.
And endorsed.
You didn't, well, you didn't know.
I had no until I got into it.
You told me tonight.
You broke it to me.
If things break, Not Gay George is never on top of it.
No, I don't.
It's not that I'm lazy.
It's that I just don't care.
That is Not Gay George.
And that's why he's fired all the time.
So, we'll get to the Romney thing.
You know what?
Let's get to Caitlyn Jenner after.
Let's talk about the Romney thing.
Everyone knows that when it came down to...
I wasn't a fan of Romney.
In the primaries, and I got in trouble with...
If you want to talk about establishment media, I got into some...
I was called into the back room.
I've talked about this beforehand.
Do I believe there are conspiracies at Fox News that they love or hate Trump?
Listen, right now Megyn Kelly clearly doesn't like Trump.
Many of their contributors clearly don't like Trump.
Bill O'Reilly loves Trump.
Sean Hannity can't get enough Trump.
Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.
Just loves Trump.
I think people are people.
But the hosts and the personalities, I can say this.
I think if you can't get you, yourself, Milo, Gavin, Ben Shapiro, guys like you that think kind of in the same sort of category of people that reach in a very similar group, if you can't get the four of you to agree on who's the man and cooperate, I don't think the room full of these other personalities are going to agree and coerce some kind of...
Back.
Coerced, you mean?
Coerced, yes.
Coerced?
I was thinking, what, two funeral cars?
Two hearths are better than one.
I'm thinking, like, Harold and Maude.
No, um, yeah, I think you're right.
Now, I do think there are some company men in any media who take the orders from the top down, and I've seen that.
I've seen that when I've worked for media.
You see it with online websites right now.
You see it with online websites that will not criticize Trump, are only pro-Trump, and then you see it with websites that are all anti-Trump.
We've done both.
We've talked about, listen, I'm not a fan of Trump, but when he does something that we like, we'll run it.
There are some good things to like about Trump.
So that being said, let me talk about this Mitt Romney.
Not a fan of Mitt Romney.
He's just not...
It's a guy...
It's a billionaire Mormon with no sense.
That's the problem with Mitt Romney.
He has no sense.
Listen, if he really, really didn't...
If he really wanted to harm Trump, he would just shut his mouth.
Or endorse him.
Yeah, or endorse him.
This is one of the greatest pansies to have ever run for office.
A guy who couldn't take a shot at Obamacare.
We'll talk more about that.
The only other person in the history of mankind to sign a healthcare mandate into law.
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, two people.
I held up three fingers.
I don't know why.
An absolute pansy, right?
Got Trump's endorsement.
I'm sure a lot of Trump money, but I'm sure everyone got a lot of Trump money that election.
And now, all of a sudden, he grows some balls.
That's my problem with Mitt Romney and the Trump thing here.
He's completely out of touch.
Listen, when Bob Dole and Jimmy Carter and all these establishment Republicans support Donald Trump, the media underplays it because that doesn't help them.
But when all of these other establishment types go against Donald Trump, that's why they like Donald Trump.
A lot of people don't even know what establishment means.
It's important.
We'll talk about that with John Phillips.
They're just mad at something.
And that something is perfectly personified by Mitt Romney.
I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
The only person who's even remotely in the same field of inconsistency as Donald Trump is Hillary Clinton would be Mitt Romney.
Now here's something I will say.
I don't like Donald Trump.
I don't trust Donald Trump.
I don't hate Donald Trump.
When people use the term coxervative, this is just so funny to me.
It's a term for a weak man.
Is there anything more weak than just absolutely falling at the knees of another man like Donald Trump?
Say what you want about this show.
We've not done that with any candidate.
Ted Cruz came on.
We gave him crap.
Governor Mike Huckabee came on.
We gave him crap.
Carly Fiorina came on.
We gave her crap.
Right?
Carly Fiorina has bigger balls on the Trump campaign.
Trump won't come on, and none of his surrogates will come on.
They won't.
None of them.
And I know them.
I know them.
Scotty Hughes and Katrina Pearson, you are more than welcome to come on the show.
They've been invited.
They won't come on.
And it's not like candidates don't stop by.
That being said...
If the people, if the Republicans want Donald Trump, if he wins, he wins.
Right?
With the Bernie Sanders situation, I feel bad.
It's like he's winning by, he wins by such a huge margin in these states with these popular votes, and the Democratic Party is going to be screwed anyway!
It doesn't matter!
Because of the superdelegates.
It doesn't matter, you know, with Bernie Sanders.
I thought actually, because, you know, listen, he won that by a 22-point spread in New Hampshire.
I thought the popular vote was going to be so overwhelming for Bernie.
I think, what did I say?
I said between 30-40% chance Bernie might actually do this, or he might be successful enough, the Democrats have to bring someone else out.
That's what I was saying.
I think we were about right.
He took it pretty far, a lot further than the pundits who thought it was Jeb versus Hillary who certainly gave Bernie.
They just said he had no chance.
No one else was paying attention.
He's going to stay in for a while now.
It's more of a statement.
But that's what I hate about the left, the superdelegates.
They don't even believe in democracy, the Democratic Party.
I don't believe in democracy.
I believe in a constitutional republic.
That means at a certain point you get to choose your representative.
Now, I would not choose Donald Trump.
But if the people choose Donald Trump, and I was talking about this with my father, that's what it has to be.
This has to come through honestly.
And if there is some foul play from the Republican Party when the people overwhelmingly vote, we're not there yet.
Do you think we're going to see a broker convention?
It's possible.
And broker convention doesn't necessarily mean what I'm talking about, but I'm talking about if there's some dirty pool, if there's some dirty tricks that go on, if they try and go the route of Democrats and they have it as a systemic problem with the superdelegates, I'm out.
So listen to that, people, Trump fans.
I'm not picking Trump right now.
He's not my guy.
But if he is chosen by the Republican people, I want that to happen.
I do not want to see some elitists come in.
Because then you're not fighting for anything.
You're just fighting for the same system that occurs on the right and the left.
Listen, we should do it differently.
So I want to crystallize that.
We'll be right back.
Everybody was kung fu fighting Those kids were fast as lightning In fact, it was a little bit frightening But they fought with expertise This
is breaking news on Wilderwood Crawler.
I'm Perry Matheson.
We're taking you now to Dr.
Ben Carson's campaign headquarters as he officially eyes his pals to the nomination.
Okay, let's take a look here.
Oh, I think this might be...
No, that's not viable.
Well, possibly if I go there.
No, it doesn't seem to be right.
Oh, it's so clear.
Let me know.
If I go here and I go through that path and take this through Delaware, I believe that there's A path if I take it this way.
I'm sorry, sir.
My mistake.
Would you prefer to have the adult menu?
No, thank you.
I appreciate it.
I quite like completing these mazes.
I'll have the never-ending possible when you get a moment.
For breaking news on Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Matheson.
All aboard the unsinkable ship, the Titanic!
All aboard the unsinkable ship, the Titanic!
This ship's never going to go down or else they'll never be able to make a nine-hour motion picture about it!
All aboard the unsinkable ship, the Titanic!
Place your bets!
said I'll never sink.
I'll never sink.
Coming up after the break, we're going to have John Phillips, right?
John Phillips.
Co-host over there at KBC in Los Angeles.
He's a gay, but he's a conservative.
He's very, very smart.
I owe a lot to John Phillips.
Funny, too.
He's a funny guy.
He's a very funny guy.
He's a pro-Trump guy.
Here's the deal.
We've had a lot of pro-Trump people on the show, but no one who actually is...
No one necessary to make the case for Trump is willing to come on the show.
And that, to me, is very bizarre.
We don't really have an interest, you know, in surrogates for people like Rand Paul or Ted Cruz or Carly Farino.
We had her on when she was surging because we have access.
With Donald Trump, we didn't.
And I said, okay, surrogates.
Fine.
Let's do that.
Let's do that, too.
No.
Crickets.
Crickets.
I mean, what?
You're more afraid of...
You're more afraid of...
I don't know what's going on.
The guy's a pansy.
Okay, big news here going on.
You can bring this up on the screen.
Not gay, Jared, for people who are watching.
Caitlyn Jenner came out and endorsed Ted Cruz.
Yeah, this is true.
This is big.
For people who don't know, Caitlyn Jenner used to be Bruce Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner, winner of the Olympics.
Caitlyn Jenner set the...
That lady set the men's world record for the...
Look at those gams.
Look at those gams.
And those balls.
Caitlyn Jenner, darling of the left.
We have the article up at ladderwithcrowder.com.
And Caitlyn said, about Ted Cruz, I think he's very conservative, a great constitutionalist, and a very articulate man.
Now, it does take issue with the GOP's evangelical Christian beliefs.
So Jenner goes on to say, probably one of the worst when it comes to trans issues.
And I have all my girls on trans issues board to advise them making decisions when it comes to trans issues.
Yes, Ambassador to the President of the United States, so we can say, hey, Ted, we love what you're doing, but here's what's going on.
If you read the full piece, basically, Caitlyn Jenner was saying, listen, he may not want to open up women's public bathrooms to men, but at least all my tranny friends will have jobs.
That's the short end of it.
Caitlyn's case, the long end of it.
So that's the situation.
Of course, what has happened?
Caitlyn Jenner's a free thinker, and the Tolerance Brigade has to come over that hill.
And they are coming for Caitlyn Jenner's head.
These people who, listen, in an ironic turn of events, Caitlyn Jenner has some massive balls.
Coming out and endorsing, not only endorsing a Republican, but Ted Cruz, not even Trump, not even Rubio, Ted Cruz.
That's a hard sell.
The irony is just so thick on this one.
So thick.
Fantastic.
They loved Caitlyn Jenner.
You want to say brave?
This is brave.
I wouldn't say beautiful and brave, but this is brave.
You want to add stunning onto that?
You can do that.
So let's read some of the tweets.
All I can do is sigh.
Little Caitlyn Jenner does not know what she is talking about.
Come on now, lady.
Jared, you can knock me.
Jared, you can bring this up on the screen.
I love how they're being politically correct by referring to Caitlyn Jenner with feminine pronouns, but still talking down to her.
Little Caitlyn Jenner, come on now, lady.
Probably the same kind of person who would be furious if you said it to a woman.
By the way, little known fact.
If you want to win any debate with a feminist, okay?
Call them a very nice, very polite, very kind nickname.
I had a feminist one time who just would not stop.
This was in Minnesota after a comedy club, and I was out with some people.
And she was one of those people, you know, at the table.
She'd have let everyone know she was a feminist.
And I just said, I said, listen, sweetheart, I just did a set.
I'm exhausted.
We disagree.
I just don't have the time right now.
Sweetheart, you just flipped!
Flipped!
Went absolutely crazy!
She said, how dare you call me sweetheart?
I'm sorry, you would prefer pumpkin?
And she just went nuts!
So that's a good way to win.
And for someone who's watching, you sound very polite, and the feminist sounds like the screeching, cackling, lesbian, buzz-cutted chain gang member that they are.
So just a little known strategy.
Just toss it in there.
Sweetheart, listen, ma'am.
Ma'am's a good one.
Miss, little lady, you know, bitch.
You use these words, and they get really touchy.
More.
Caitlyn Jenner is so ignorant, it's mind-boggling.
Caitlyn Jenner endorses hate-mongering, transphobic, homophobe Ted Cruz, proving courage and being a blithering ignoramus are not exclusive.
And here's my favorite one from It's Miss Kyla, a tweet about Caitlyn Jenner endorsing Ted Cruz.
It's interesting how Caitlyn Jenner still votes and exercises privilege like a white heterosexual male.
Well, listen, here's one thing we can agree on.
on.
I don't know about the privilege of identity politics, but Caitlyn Jenner may vote and exercise privilege like a white heterosexual male because Caitlyn Jenner is a white heterosexual male.
You can take the balls off the man.
No, I mean...
I'm not arguing that with you.
You want to say?
You want to come down on Bruce Jenner for being a white male?
I'm not arguing that with you.
We're not going to have a problem.
I am not arguing that with you.
Caitlyn Jenner's a white, heterosexual, privileged male.
I am not arguing that with you!
Okay?
We're good.
We find common ground.
But the hate, the vitriolic hatred toward Caitlyn Jenner now...
It's like, okay...
Let's make this clear from the left.
It is totally cool to encourage a demographic with the single highest suicide rate in the industrialized world, pre- or post-op, transgenders, to pump themselves full of cancerous estrogen and other unknown hormones with unknown side effects long-term in their body.
It is perfectly acceptable for this person to toss on a dress and go into the ladies' room.
But if said person believes in a constitutionally limited government, well, we've got to draw the line somewhere.
Like, they're so upset, you'd think Caitlyn Jenner was putting Canadian quarters in the vending machine.
They just...
Well, I remember when he, she, it first came out.
If you remember this, back when...
Was it the Diana Ross interview?
I forget.
I forget what it was.
It came out.
Diana Ross.
Diana Ross.
I don't know.
These people...
Diane Sawyer.
Diane Sawyer.
They're all the same...
Tweet your hatred to Not Gay Jared.
Diana Ross.
Do you know who Diana Ross is?
Yes.
Who is Diana Ross?
Not White.
Okay, that's a start.
Singer.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Who's Diane Sawyer?
The broad I'm getting to.
Okay.
The sweetheart you're getting to.
The sweetheart.
Yes.
The lovely lady.
Yes.
The lovely, lovely lady.
But you remember, when it first came out, we were preparing for the transition.
We were waiting for the announcement.
And in the interview, Bruce kind of slips in there, I'm a Republican.
And that's what everyone was so upset about.
Yeah.
So upset.
We saw the long hair.
We saw it was right before the big transition.
Remember that.
Right.
Um...
Sorry, I just lost my train of thought.
We're talking about Caitlyn Jenner.
I can never keep it straight.
Five seconds.
We have, oh, John Phillips coming up next.
Sweetheart, what are you doing? what are you doing?
Stop playing with your food.
It's not proper.
Screw you, future husband Billy Zane!
No one in this societal class understands me.
Oh, my God.
we are here with our very first guest.
Someone who hasn't been on the program before, but has been a good friend to me behind the scenes.
I'm a fan of the guy.
We don't agree on everything.
He's, of course, a host over there in Los Angeles, if you're listening there, on KABC from 3 to 6.
And you can follow him on Twitter at JohnnyDon'tLikeJohnPhillips.
How are you, sir?
Hello, I'm fantastic.
How are you?
Well, and listen to that broadcast voice, not gay, Jared.
I hear the difference between a real pro...
Between you, yeah.
It's night and day, man.
It is night and day.
But you don't have to have a voice like Johnny.
You just have to have a voice that's interesting.
Neither of which do I have, so it's irrelevant to the point.
You know, I don't think it's the voice.
I think it's the acoustics from broadcasting from Hitler's bunker here in my office.
Which I have decorated quite nicely with my Donald Trump bobblehead doll.
This is true.
Well, it's very fitting.
And my mind opener.
This is true.
It's the perfect analogy which we can get into.
So, right off the bat, John and I don't agree on everything.
Now, you have been one of the biggest pro-Trump voices.
You've been consistent on it for a long time.
I think you're well aware that I am not.
But we've had everyone out.
We've had pro-Trump people, we've had anti-Trump people, we've had Rubio people, we've had Cruz people.
To preface it, you wouldn't consider yourself a conservative.
You're a Republican.
You're still pro-choice.
What issues do you part ways with a Republican?
No, I consider myself to be quite conservative.
I am pro-choice.
I favor gay marriage.
I favor assisted suicide.
So I differ on some of the social issues.
But I want to keep government out of my life.
I want to keep taxes low and I want to brutalize criminals.
So I consider myself to be a good Republican.
See, you just said Republican.
Yeah, I'm a conservative Republican.
Okay, well I don't want to mischaracterize you because I don't want to say conservative.
Yeah, I'm not a social conservative, but I would consider myself to be like a Barry Goldwater type.
Okay.
Barry Goldwater type.
I guess I'm trying to think where he would line up on life.
I mean, I guess you call yourself more just sort of a libertarian at that point, but you don't use the term.
I'm not a libertarian because I can enjoy a little fascism every now and then.
We all can.
No, I do want aggressive police.
I want, you know, I want the government to protect the border.
I want a military that is well-equipped to deal with bad actors.
So, no, I'm not a libertarian.
Wow, he's very nice.
Are we talking about a freaky Kim Jong-un or Mr.
Ahmadinejad there?
Oh, yeah, no.
Definitely, I'd have something...
Something real nice in the Air Force for a little Kim.
Well, the good thing is, right now the heat's on Beyonce, so your little Kim reference falls mainly on deaf ears, but not for me.
I got so much flack about that this, we had a column go viral where I wrote, Dear Beyonce, it's not because you're black, it's because you're a whore.
And Facebook...
Well, they removed it, and then it got put back up.
So that's what's a little bit, I think, weird for most people about you.
So, you know, full disclosure, people listening, John Phillips is openly gay, but you don't make it your selling point, unlike a lot of other people, whether it's the left or right.
You really don't play the identity politics.
I do in one sense.
I know that...
You know, in 2008, a lot of black people voted for Barack Obama because he was black.
In this election, Hillary Clinton is hoping that women vote for her because she's a woman.
I can, on occasion, vote for one of the tribe.
I always vote for the alcoholic.
Okay, well, that works.
That's fair.
That's very reasonable.
I don't think Donald Trump drinks.
That's true.
He doesn't drink at all.
Trump vodka, I mean, it was horrible, it went under, but I don't think he drinks personally, does he?
Yeah, he's a teetotaler.
He's the one sober man I actually trust.
Why?
Well, because people who are sober usually are a lot boring and unfriendly to be around.
Well, okay, so you're saying it's consistent with a sober person to be so serious.
Yeah.
My dad told me never trust a man that doesn't drink, never trust a man that doesn't swear, and never trust a man with facial hair.
And I've stuck to that.
Except for Donald Trump.
Yes.
So you're in the school of Ann Coulter, where everything that you said before we should just discard because let's enjoy the show.
No, look, I think Donald Trump would be great for the country.
Donald Trump has put an issue on the map that wouldn't be here if not for Donald Trump, and that is illegal immigration.
The elites in both parties believe on really the top three issues facing most Americans, and that is they believe in open borders, they believe in trade deals that are horrible for the country, and they believe in aggressive foreign wars.
They believe in creating stability and resource-rich portions of the world.
And I think that those three things Of late have been a complete and total disaster.
And you're not going to get a Jeb Bush who the establishment wanted originally.
Oh, hold on a second.
I'm sorry.
Let's not go down that line.
No one ever thought it was going to be Jeb Bush.
If you were surrounded by anyone who thought Jeb Bush was relevant, they should immediately be fired.
I was just dumbfounded that Fox News even brought him out.
Let's not do the Jeb Bush thing, okay?
Well, that's who the elites wanted.
The elites wanted Jeb versus Hillary.
Okay, well then if we do that, can we at least agree the elites absolutely despise Cruz.
They much prefer Donald Trump.
I think they hate them both equally.
Okay, that's fair.
Yeah, I was talking to one of my plutocrat friends the other day, and she was just wringing her hands over who she was going to support if it ended up being Trump versus Cruz.
She's a Kasich supporter, but she would have been...
Wait, what?
Yes, she's a big Republican fundraiser in California, and she would have supported Jeb had Jeb been in the race by the time...
No, no, no.
Kasich?
Kasich, yes.
Well, I had heard about this person until today.
Ladies and gentlemen, John Phillips has found John Kasich's fan.
You know what's bad?
He used to be a kick-ass congressman, too.
I don't know what the hell happened to him.
Yeah, he was one of these guys that would go on these foreign trips that everyone treats as a junket where you get to go play golf in some foreign country.
And he'd get off the plane and he'd get in the face of all these foreign dictators and tell them what for.
And then he'd lose his temper and leave the country and fly back home.
And his obsession was balancing the budget.
He was like the first Republican in Congress to come up with an alternate budget.
He was fantastic.
And then he becomes governor and he becomes the leader of an AA meeting.
I don't get it.
Well, I'm noticing a trend with you coming back to the alcohol.
And it's funny.
Do you remember this?
Now, you were in New York.
Did you even know about the rumors that circulated that I was gay?
No, I didn't.
Well, because remember we went to that place, which is a well-known hangout, where I guess people more so have that persuasion.
Yeah, it was a thing for a while, and I thought it was hysterical.
But anyways, long story short, John Phillips, tall slender man, but he can hold his liquor.
I learned that at a...
Do we see the Ducks?
That's right, we saw hockey.
We saw hockey together, and it was the worst hockey game I'd ever seen.
Yes, in fact, Ann Coulter's nickname, he wouldn't like Phillips.
So, wait a minute.
Who started the rumor that you were gay?
Was it...
I have no idea.
...started the Marco Rubio rumors?
Well, I think that's Donald Trump.
No, I think it was someone else before some blogger or something.
Well, okay.
I mean, that's been going around for a while.
I don't...
I just...
It's one of those things.
I mean, I hate that this is where we are.
I know you love it.
I know you find this hilarious and hysterical.
As someone who came to the country from Canada...
I mean, it was born in Detroit, but was raised in Montreal...
Hillary Clinton versus Donald Trump, there's not enough of a contrast.
It's a reality show.
The fact that it's coming down to this person's gay, I really did think we had an opportunity.
If you're going to talk, and you're a real wonk, you know, you are.
You really understand policy well.
I think Bernie Sanders versus Ted Cruz would have been a very beautiful election to see, to say, okay, socialism, constitutionalism, let's see where the country lines up.
And now the waters are so muddied because of the circus that is going on.
I mean, do you think for a second Marco Rubio's gay?
Look, I don't know if he's gay or not.
I think that...
You know, if you believe in the Kinsey scale, when he was younger, he may have experimented or done whatever you want to call it, but I think he's a married man.
There haven't been any rumors about him doing anything of late, so I'll take him at his word.
I mean, it's not something that I pry into or am obsessed with, but I do have a theory now on why the rumors were started that you were gay.
It's because you speak French.
I do speak French, yeah.
And that aggravates leftists to no end because they all love to claim they speak French.
And I understand, I'd say about 40% of Portuguese, Brazilian Portuguese, because a lot of it is French.
So my goal was at the end of this year to be able to speak Portuguese.
I don't think I'll be there.
Then I could be Rachel Gentel.
Remember how much that impressed Pierce Morgan, her three languages?
Yeah.
That's right.
You don't remember, not gay, Jared.
That was a witness.
No.
Anyway.
Okay, so on a scale from Anderson Cooper to, you know, Rock Hudson playing doctor with Gomer Pyle Gay, where would you put Marco Rubio?
I think he's primarily heterosexual.
Okay.
Do you think that's helpful?
Do you think that?
I think he's entirely straight.
Because the evidence, a foam party isn't inherently gay, and the Chippendales uniform?
I mean, you could find my Planet Fitness video where I dressed as a tranny, and you can make a far more convincing case with stuff that I've done.
So, no, I don't believe it.
But do you think that's helpful to right now, the Republican Party, the dialogue?
I know you like Donald Trump, but do you think the state of where it is right now, do you think this is helpful long-term, or do you think everything's going to crash and burn?
You know, I think it is helpful because, look, one of the things that politicians always do is they're dishonest with their language.
If you see a fight going on the House floor, the gentleman from California has his facts wrong.
And then they go through and they're really passive aggressive with one another.
They keep the language on the up and up.
When in reality, you know they hate each other's guts.
I'd rather have people speak honestly and tell me what they really think.
Because the reality is a lot of these people hate one another.
Right.
Especially ones that are in ideological agreement because they're working in the same corner.
Well, if Donald Trump doesn't like Ted Cruz, why is it to our benefit to have Donald Trump go on television and pretend like he likes him, even though you know that he wants to slide the knife in?
Well, then why do you think he did it?
Don't stab him in the back.
Why do you think he did it for weeks until Ted Cruz beat him in the polls?
Well, I think that he was feuding with other people.
He initially started out feuding with Rick Perry, I believe, and then Rick Perry dropped out.
Then he feuded with Lindsey Graham, and Lindsey Graham dropped out.
And he kind of had these series of feuds.
He feuded with Hillary Clinton, by the way.
And when he feuded with Hillary Clinton, that was right around the same time that Hillary started to tank and Bernie started to go up.
Oh, I thought you were going to say that was when he was throwing tables over at her wedding, or at his wedding when she was there.
Again, he doesn't drink.
Well, it doesn't matter.
He doesn't need to drink to throw over tables.
But I understand that, and I think that other people should take from that playbook.
I think that's true.
I just wish it were the case with Donald Trump.
The evidence points he's overwhelmingly the most dishonest person on that stage.
He never holds the same opinion twice.
I mean, he loved Ben Carson, then called him pathological like a pedophile.
Loved Ted Cruz, now he's a nasty guy.
Loved Marco Rubio.
Now Marco Rubio may or may not be ineligible.
Claimed he was a successful business person.
He's not been consistent on anything.
So I agree with the approach.
I think most politicians should just go up there.
Like, if you watch, you know, English Parliament, they just insult each other politely.
It's wildly entertaining.
I understand that.
Right.
But I don't think that you think...
What makes you think Donald Trump is being truthful?
Well, I think, look, depending on what mood you're in, your opinions change about certain people.
There are days when I was growing up, I'd love my brother, and there are days that I'd hate his guts.
And it just all depended on which day you asked me.
So I don't think he's necessarily a flip-flopper if he's inconsistent.
If one day he's getting along with Ted Cruz and another day he's not, I think Donald Trump's approach...
I think it's shocked everyone so much to the core that these guys that he's up there on stage with don't know how to respond to it.
They don't know how to deal with it because they've never had to deal with something like this before.
And I think that's why he, in many ways, would be the strongest general election candidate against Hillary Clinton.
She has a glass jaw.
She has never had to take a punch before.
Well, you can say this.
Hold on a second.
We have to go to a break soon there, Jared?
We have 30 seconds.
Now, is that when the music starts, or do you have it right today?
We're good.
Okay, so John, I want to hold that thought, because Donald Trump's never had to take a punch before, either.
And I think we can both agree on that, and they're both kind of on the same playing field there.
Didn't Vince McMahon hit him?
You know, that's true.
I don't think a midget with a folding chair while the referee turns the blind eye counts.
John Phillips, we will be back after this.
us.
Stay tuned.
We'll be right back.
We'll take you now live to Governor John Kasich's current presidential rally.
Hello?
Hello?
For breaking news on Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Mopherson.
You're a strange animal.
That's what I know.
But you're a strange animal.
I've got to follow.
Oh, I'm in this speedy test.
All right, of course, that was our favorite singer there, Gowan.
Hopefully he's a fan of the show.
Bringing back host over there at KBC in Los Angeles.
Three to six, evening drive.
Follow him on Twitter, JohnnyDon'tLike.
John Phillips, the floor is yours.
You were saying Hillary Clinton has a glass jaw and making your case as to why Trump had the best chance in a general.
Yeah, she has a glass jaw.
She has been treated with kid gloves by the Democrats, if you go back to when she ran for the U.S. Senate.
It was supposed to be a battle to the death between her and Rudy Giuliani, and then Rudy Giuliani got cancer.
And the Democrats cleared the field for her in the primary.
Nita Lowy and all these other people were going to run, and then they ended up taking a pass and giving her the nomination.
And then she ended up against Rick Lazio, who she mopped the floor with in the general election.
She had minimal opposition when she ran for re-election.
The first real test that she had as a candidate was in the primary in 2008 by Barack Obama.
She ran a horrific campaign.
He didn't run that great of a campaign, but he ran well enough to beat her.
She was shell-shocked.
We now see her in her next campaign, this primary in 2016.
She's ran another awful campaign.
Bernie Sanders refuses to hit her where she's vulnerable.
She's going to win but win barely against a 73-year-old socialist from Vermont.
I think if we run really aggressively against her in the general, and we have a guy that's taking her face, I think she loses.
Essie Cupp made that case.
Essie Cupp made that case.
I think you're wrong.
I think she's wrong for two reasons.
The number one most important variable is that all statistical data we have right now says you're wrong.
That Trump loses by the biggest margin in a general.
I know that's apt to change, but that is reality.
Ted Cruz is on the margin of error.
Marco Rubio wins.
So regardless of wherever someone lines up, that's the reality.
Wait a minute.
Isn't Trump within the margin of error?
No.
He's really close to her.
It's not a blowout.
The RealClearPolitics averages single digits.
It's not a double-digit blowout.
Last time we checked, it was at least 5%.
So if it's within 4, Cruz is about a plus 1.5, I think, 1.6.
So anyway, that would be my first argument.
But I also think she does have a glass gin.
Not a glass jaw.
I think she has a weak spot, and we'll talk about this later in the show.
It is that Hillary Clinton has the second highest unfavorability rating in the history of anyone running for office, or even sitting presidents.
The second highest unfavorability rating.
There are so many people out there right now who are looking to vote for anyone not named Hillary Clinton, including Democrats.
And so all Republicans need to do is find somebody with a marginal, even slightly higher unfavorability rating than normal, to take those votes.
The only thing is the one person they may put up is the number one person with the highest unfavorability rating in the history of all American presidential politics, Donald Trump.
It's kind of like in 2012, and I think you were more of a Romney guy than I was at that point, where Romney was the only other person in the history of the world, not the United States, to sign a health care mandate into law.
The weak point then was Obamacare, and Romney couldn't go after on him.
The weak point for Hillary, she's unlikable because she lies and she's inconsistent, and it's the one thing Donald Trump can't go after on her.
And so those two variables, I would argue, just as far as electability, as far as who has the highest chance of winning, I just don't see it.
Well, that's part of it, but I don't think that's where she's most vulnerable.
I think she's most vulnerable, first of all, in that she might get indicted by the FBI. She might get indicted by the Justice Department.
And if she does, because of those emails, because she put America's national security at risk, Donald Trump has every reason in the world to go after her aggressively on that.
But then at that point, anyone wins.
If that happens, anyone wins.
Well, maybe, maybe not.
Mitt Romney didn't go after Barack Obama aggressively on Benghazi.
He didn't hit that hanging curveball.
So some of them will just leave it out there and hope that voters use it against them when they go into the polling booth.
I think it needs to be more explicit than that, and I think that Donald Trump would really aggressively go after her on that issue.
We've already seen him go after her for intimidating all of those women who were allegedly sexually assaulted by Bill Clinton.
And when he did that, that's exactly the point at which her poll numbers started to take in the primary against Bernie.
I don't believe any other Republican would make that case to her face, that she enabled a sexual predator to go after women and intimidate people who, she says, should be believed on face value.
She thinks anyone who alleges that they are a victim...
I think you may be right about that.
I think Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio would.
I don't think they would.
Okay, you may be right about that.
One thing that is undoubted, just that is...
It's a guarantee.
If Donald Trump does that, he's the only one where they're going to bring back out his raping of his ex-wife, one of the ex-wives, under a deposition.
Raping of his ex-wife?
Yeah.
Yeah, she recanted after a gag order, but they'll bring that out, but they'll say, listen, there's just as much credible evidence under a court of law of these rapes as your wife giving the statement in a deposition that you raped her forcibly on the dresser.
They can't use it against any other candidate.
That's not apples to apples.
If she says it didn't happen and he says it didn't happen, then that's very different than what went on with Bill Clinton.
Where you've got a whole list of women who say it did happen and then Bill just doesn't respond.
No, the point is the reason it's similar is because you had some women who did say it happened and then said no it didn't and now are saying actually yes it did.
And that's what happened with Donald Trump and his wife.
My point is not that he did it.
My point is there's just as much credible evidence if you look at the legal records that those happened.
No, they settled the lawsuit with Paula Jones.
Paula Jones wasn't rape.
Paula Jones was...
It was drop your pants and hope for the best.
Drop your pants and hope for the best.
They did write a check.
Yeah, I think I would love to see a candidate do that.
And I agree with you on that.
I would hope that anyone else would go after her on that.
But see where we are now?
See where we are discussing this?
We are entirely into reality show territory.
Again, it's going to be the whole election.
And you like that.
And I think that's just what's different here.
Well, look, I think that Hillary Clinton is a dishonest person.
I think there's a million and one different examples that prove that.
We just happen to be talking about these two.
But I think someone with that character, look, if you intimidate the victims of sexual assault, I think you're disqualified from being president.
And I think that we need to make that case aggressively of the American people.
I don't think Marco Rubio would do that.
I don't think Ted Cruz would do that.
I certainly think that John Kasich would avoid doing that.
I think John Kasich would avoid doing anything, pretty much.
I don't think he wants to leave his house.
I picture him like Howard Hughes peeing in jars until it's time to trot him out in the debate stage.
You know his dad was a mailman.
Well, his dad was a mailman.
Alright, John Phillips, KABC 3-6 in Los Angeles.
Johnny don't like on Twitter.
Is there anything else I'm missing here that people should follow you?
You can read me at the Orange County Register, ocregister.com, pjtv.com.
pjtv.com.
And look at this.
We had an actual productive civil discussion on Donald Trump.
Of course, that doesn't happen on Hillary Clinton, and it shouldn't happen.
John Phillips, we must go.
Stay tuned, everybody.
It only takes a time.
Stephen Crowder here.
Hey, Jared, what are you doing?
I'm just having trouble getting through this book.
That's because you can't read.
I know!
You should have used Freedom Project Academy.
Freedom what?
Freedom Project Academy.
Just go to fpeusa.org.
It's a fully accredited private online school.
No Common Core and absolutely no government funding whatsoever.
All the classes are taught live online, kindergarten through high school, with real teachers based around the country.
So through Freedom Project's classical curriculum, students master the basics like math, English, history, science, alongside some more commonly neglected courses like logic.
You're not getting that in a lot of schools.
Economics, American Studies, and Latin, all of which foster the long-lost art of critical thinking and create leaders for tomorrow.
All classes are recorded to be viewed 24-7, and you can get your very own sneak peek of any class or professor at fpeusa.org.
Open Enrollment runs March through July, but classes always fill up fast.
Now, do you have your GED equivalency, Jared?
No, is that important?
I think so.
I mean, you might want to give him a call.
That's FreedomProjectAcademy at FPEUSA.org.
Wow!
That's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!
She wouldn't want anything to do with a simple lower-decker boy like me.
I don't know anything about those fancy dinner parties or those dresses with the butts that go out really far or bringing my own knives to steak dinners.
Still, I bet I can get her to pose naked for a painting and screw her in a steamy car.
You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
Politics.
Civility?
How about honesty in this country, folks?
Entertainment.
I don't like entertainment.
And a whole bunch of other stuff.
It's about having a healthy body image.
If you have a very unhealthy body, you should have a horrible body image.
Not a big home improvement market, Detroit.
We are definitely going to get letters.
You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
You're a strange animal, that's what I know.
You're getting louder with Crowder.
But you're a strange animal, I've got to follow.
Oh, I'm in the speedy to sound.
Glad to be back.
In the second hour, producing with me in video studio, as always, is NotGayJarred.
You can follow me at S. Crowder.
Follow him at NotGayJarred, louderwithcrowder.com.
I fulfill my legal obligations.
Draw your own conclusions.
We have a poll up on the Twitter.
Are you a newly converted Caitlyn Jenner fan?
This has only been up for 15 minutes, 19 minutes now.
18% say yes.
50% say no.
32% say uncomfortable.
I would probably find myself in the third category.
You'd find yourself in the third category.
I think Caitlyn Jenner finds himself in the third category.
Did you ever see Caitlyn Jenner when he was sitting there with this really, really fruity homosexual?
It was clear that he was uncomfortable.
Unless he switched over, I don't think he's gay.
I think he still likes women.
I think he still digs the chicks.
I think Caitlyn Jenner transitioned to a lesbian woman.
And it doesn't seem to have a lot in common with...
I feel like Bruce Caitlyn Jenner...
Listen, if you want to know where we stand on this issue, I'm still going to make fun of Caitlyn Jenner a lot.
It's funny, okay?
This is an entertainment program.
I welcome Caitlyn on the program to discuss it, just like we welcome people of all different stripes.
Trump surrogates notwithstanding, because they don't want to come on.
And...
I think this is really...
I think it highlights the cannibalism of the left today.
It should be enough that Caitlyn Jenner is this trans activist, high profile, but it's not because Caitlyn Jenner is white.
It's not because Caitlyn endorses Ted Cruz.
It showcases that you just have to follow lockstep with the leftist mindset, otherwise you are not welcome to be a part of their movement, right?
Whereas the Republican, the conservative movement right now, is the reason it's burning to the ground, and it is burning to the ground, is because it's so fractured.
Because there are so many different points of view.
I mean, you have the Rand Paul people, who probably aren't going to vote at all.
They've gone to maybe Gary Johnson.
You've got the Trump people.
You've got the Cruz people.
You've got Rubio.
I mean, we had Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina.
A very, very diverse array of ideas.
And all are welcome in the Republican Party.
I find that to be very enlightening.
Hey, speaking of which, I want to talk about Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do we have that clip?
We do.
Okay, we had a column go viral this week with Leonardo DiCaprio from the Oscars, and I want to get to it.
Roll that clip, Not Gay Jared.
Making The Revenant was about man's relationship to the natural world, a world that we collectively felt in 2015 as the hottest year in recorded history.
Our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow.
Climate change is real.
It is happening right now.
It is the most urgent threat facing our entire species.
And we need to work collectively together and stop procrastinating.
We need to support leaders around the world who do not speak for the big polluters of the big corporations, but who speak for all of humanity, for the indigenous people of the world, for the billions and billions of underprivileged people who will be most affected by this.
For our children's children, and for those people out there whose voices have been drowned out by the politics of greed, I thank you all for this amazing award tonight.
Let us not take this planet for granted.
I do not take tonight for granted.
Thank you.
Can you believe that?
There's so many things when I watch it.
Doesn't anyone notice this?
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
I feel like he's at least a genuine...
He genuinely thinks he believes his idiot ideas.
Here's the deal.
The one thing that stands out right away, the second he goes off book, he's a stuttering fool.
We lobby the leaders, not the ones who represent corporations.
Oh, okay.
Let's talk about this, Leonardo DiCaprio, before we get to your six climate-controlled mansions, and I'm assuming don't run on flatulence.
Corporations like New Regency Films, Warner Brothers, corporations worth billions of dollars that distribute, that make your films, that print them on petroleum products like DVDs, or your friend like James Cameron who sold all kinds of action figures that ultimately end up in some dolphin's blowhole out in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.
Those people?
Lobby leaders and the wealthy people, corporations.
Most corporations...
Aren't worth the $250 million you are, Leo?
Listen, if you take that room of the Oscars, you have more net worth than most small countries.
You could easily do $200 billion.
Easily.
Easily $200 billion if you talk about all those leftists in there.
Leo DiCaprio, his gang of buddies with George Clooney, with the Weinsteins, with James Cameron, with Gwyneth Paltrow.
All of them!
Leonardo DiCaprio, if you're talking about leaders...
Why don't you be one of them?
You have the influence, you have the position, you have the money, you have the power, you have hundreds of millions of dollars, and at one time, the highest rated program of the year next to the Super Bowl.
You have the microphone, you have the money.
Listen, I'm not saying give all of it away.
Live on a poultry $40 million for the rest of your life.
You know, you might have to make some cutbacks.
Okay, we all have to make sacrifices.
I get it.
I understand $40 million.
You probably can still keep...
We have six mansions that we've looked up thus far.
You could probably keep four and maybe the yacht.
It'd be a struggle for a bit.
I understand.
Might have to wear the same shoes twice.
Right.
Now they say, so he doesn't want to take the responsibility for himself.
He wants you, the middle class, to lobby leaders.
He has the ability to take leadership.
This is beyond just people like, well, Sheryl Crow is rich.
That's not just what we're talking about.
If you want to talk about the ability to lead, you have that ability.
You don't have to be a hypocrite if you're an environmentalist.
As a matter of fact, it's really, really easy because you have the money.
Now, poor people don't.
They can't just buy Tesla.
I know Leo has a Tesla.
I know he does some solar heating, but not all of it.
By the way, of the six mansions, some of them are in Beverly Hills, Malibu.
There's like four in Los Angeles just because he wants to beat the midday traffic.
I get it.
Cutting down on carbon emissions.
Bravo, Leo.
Beverly Hills to Malibu, for anyone else out there, that's less than your morning commute.
Leo spends eight figures on another mansion so that he doesn't have to go through the agony of driving 40 minutes.
That being said, I've been stuck on 405 traffic.
I used to live in LA. It is absolutely terrible.
Now, if we want to talk about the middle people, right?
You want to absolve yourself of responsibility.
These wealthy people don't give to charities.
Okay, how about just helping the middle man?
You didn't have to be paid $30 million to be mauled by a CGI bear.
Again, I'm not saying all of it.
You could have taken $10 million and split that across the grips and the makeup artists, right?
Make their entire life.
Let them sell the mansion and split the worth.
They'll never have to work again.
But you don't do that.
You want us to go to leaders, right?
What he wants to do is push.
Policy.
What kind of policy does Leonardo DiCaprio push?
Policy that helps people like you, like me?
No.
Things like the Kyoto Protocol.
Things like Ted Turner.
I was at the Cancun Climate Summit when Ted Turner was up there and proposed China's one-child policy.
Communist China's one-child policy.
Enforce a policy ensuring that you only get to have one child.
Guess how they enforce it.
The Kyoto Protocol.
Guess what that does to your energy prices.
Now that's bad for you middle class.
Doesn't affect Leonardo DiCaprio.
I get it.
Might if he has to cut back to, like I said, 40-50 million, he's going to have to tighten up his belt.
That's tough for a size 38 short.
You're going to have to start punching holes in it.
Get the Swiss Army knife.
I get it.
For the middle class, it's bad, right?
You're going to be paying more at the pump.
Like Quebec, where I'm from, we pay two to three times the amount that Americans pay for gas.
Why?
Because of the taxes.
All done in the name of the environment.
What does that do to goods and services?
It increases the prices.
So it's bad for the middle class.
It's fine for the wealthy, like Leonardo DiCaprio, who demand that you push leadership, but they don't take leadership roles themselves.
But it kills.
It ends the lives of those in third world countries.
You're aggravated by paying maybe $5.50, $6.50, $7.50 in Quebec.
I think it's $8-something at the pump if they do buy liters because it's ridiculous.
That's aggravating to you.
To someone who has to ration a couple cans of beans, if they're lucky, one bag of rice a week, living on a dirt floor, guess what?
Paying for that energy means life or death.
Guess what?
Leo, the rich white guy, wants you to lobby leaders.
Not do it himself.
He's not tossing them his dollars.
For policy that ensures these people die on the plains of Africa, in the fields of Mexico.
I don't even know if they have fields in Mexico.
Probably more fields in Africa.
I saw the ghosts in the darkness.
Lions are monsters.
Kill them all.
I don't care.
I don't feel bad.
Kill them all.
Kill all the lions.
When I have as much money as Leo, that will be my cause.
Killing all of the lions.
The problem is, and something else, do they say the right is anti-science?
I don't know why this just tickles me pink.
Kind of like seeing him getting tossed around by that bear.
Great actor, Leo DiCaprio.
You can't take that away from me.
Fantastic actor.
Everything he said was anecdotal.
We had to go to this country because there wasn't enough snow and, and, and, like, listen, if you're going to say Republicans are stupid...
Maybe you should, you know, I don't know, fire location scout because you really...
Yeah, fire location scout.
Because guess what?
In the Midwest, there's been, there was plenty.
In Canada, there was plenty.
You don't really have to go that far.
Go to Gaspé-Z in Quebec.
But it's entirely anecdotal to paint a sob story so that you have to lobby the leaders and Leo doesn't really have to give that much of his money.
That's the point.
It's not just that he's rich and you don't like him because he's pretty.
It's the hypocrisy, it's anti-science, and it's silly.
Louder with Crowder.
Crowder.
We'll be back.
We'll be right back.
I'm Perry Matheson.
We now return you to Governor John Kasich's live presidential rally in progress.
Hello?
Hello?
You, sir, out there with the boombox?
Closing time.
Open all the doors and let you out in.
I'm afraid I don't see your point.
We will keep you abreast with breaking coverage as the rally unfolds.
Here at Louder with Crowder, I'm Harry Malthasad.
Okay, business time.
Really simple.
Some of you don't know where to find me.
Louderwithcrowder.com.
Half a dozen to ten articles every single day.
Twitter, follow me at scrowder.
Louder with Crowder podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, or any other podcatching device.
YouTube.com slash Stephen Crowder.
Or you can type in Stephen Crowder on Facebook and be one of the million plus fans.
or join the mailing list.
There are so many ways for you to stay connected.
You have no excuse.
You have no excuse just like you have no excuse for those roles that are just cascading over your belt buckle.
You should be ashamed.
Unless you're a lady.
Then you deserve a medal.
Get her a medal.
We're going to have the wonderful Tommy Loren after this.
She's quite fetching.
That she is.
That she is.
At least that's what I'm supposed to say.
Oh, people see her.
That's what they think!
Why are you laughing?
I was slow to catching that.
Well, when we asked for people for the Tommy Loren questions, did you see the tweets?
It was, um, that was bordering on inappropriate.
This is precisely why we disengaged the live chat on YouTube.
Everything is on Twitter.
Even the compliments for Dana were hysterical.
They were outrageously vulgar.
The internet is a crazy place, but we are going, we actually are going to match Tommy Lauren when she comes on.
We'll talk politics, all of that, but we will match her with her perfect dream match.
We have an actual, a scientific, we have the dream machine.
We actually have a patent on it.
Alright, this week, you know what's going on, is the CPAC. The CPACs.
The CPACs.
The CPACs.
Now, not gay Jared, you've never been to CPAC. I have not.
I have not.
Right, so a lot of the radio shows people are listening to right now.
No real desire.
You actually, you did want to go.
I did want to go last year.
We just started working together, and I know you had been and had hosted it and that kind of thing, but I was just, I was curious.
But then I was turned off pretty fast.
Yeah.
Well, I think what it was was you finally came when you opened for me at the live show.
Yeah, that was the turning point.
And it was fun.
You were good.
We wrote some bits for you, did some comedy for the first time.
You were pretty funny.
By the way, we have a few tour dates here in this week.
You know what's so rough about the tour dates is I don't really promote them anymore because things get so violent or people get angry and it's a struggle.
You want to promote it and I always used to open it to the public but after you get Black Lives Matter blocking people in when I was at Cal Poly we had to scan for bombs unlike Milo and Ben who are fantastic and I love them they're going to post all of that and people get outraged.
I just want to tell my jokes because I've been doing it since 18.
I'm not showing up to plug a book I don't sell anything at these shows.
I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
And it's really, really changed very radically.
So, all the way back to CPAC. I did CPAC for, well, four years over five.
I got horrible food poisoning one year, and I didn't end up emceeing The Ballroom.
But starting in 2010, I want to say, yeah, 2010 through, I think, 2010, anyway, a few years, so I would do stand-up.
Now, I would always get up on hatewatch.org, Huffington Post, Media Matters, I've talked about this, and I'd get hauled into the Fox News office.
What's going on now, Jared?
Is there a problem?
Is there a problem?
No.
Is there a problem going on with the feed?
No.
You look terrified.
No.
They're good.
Are you not telling me?
You just don't want to say it on air?
No, we're good.
You should see his face.
Show him your face.
Can you not show him your face?
Is that the problem?
Take it off.
His face, he was just looking at his computer as though something had exploded.
Okay.
So, CPAC. Not Gay Jared and I didn't go this year.
Now, the big reason, obviously, is of course I have surgery.
But I had surgery.
That's a cop-out.
If I really wanted to go, I would go.
Kind of like my wife and I had a big fight because I'm allergic to cats.
But when I put my foot down and I said, sweetheart, we will never own a cat, she said, well, I can understand because you're allergic.
I said, no, that's not the reason.
It's because I hate cats.
I'm not going to hide behind the dress of I'm allergic, though that's true.
Same thing I'm not going to hide behind the dress, which may or may not hide a penis these days, of my surgery with CPAC. It just got to the point it was no longer fun.
You know, it's expensive.
Here's the big thing with a lot of these conventions.
Big thing that Jared and I don't like about conventions.
Anytime you see people who are otherwise pretty intelligent and critical thinkers engaging in group chant, I get uncomfortable.
No matter what it is, whether it's Rubio, Rubio, Rubio, that's not his chant.
It should be his chant.
That's the only one that would be the appropriate Rubio chant.
Whether it's Make America Great Again, whether it's Our Time, whether it's Not Retreat Reload, anytime you get people engaging in chanting, I get immediately uncomfortable.
It was pretty bad, the Rubio event when I was there.
The chanting is just, I don't know, I just feel gross.
Even if it's like, you know, Hillary Boo, Bernie Boo, I mean, it's just, I feel stupid.
Yeah, I know.
I don't like it.
Like a little kid, like a little kid at vacation Bible school or something like that.
Right.
I understand supporting somebody, but the chanting, this is a job interview for them.
That's what it should be.
So there's that.
And at CPAC, little known fact, these people who are on stage, a lot of the time people are like, well, okay, we get some of them.
We get why Sean Hannity's there.
People like him.
He's very popular.
He's a great guy.
I understand it.
Glenn Beck, we get it.
He's popular.
Okay.
The candidates, we understand it.
But half the time you're like, why is this person here?
It's because their nonprofit donated a huge sum of cash.
One time this nonprofit, who may or may not have committed fraud, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to provide free high-speed Wi-Fi at CPAC. And so all of these candidates were beholden to going there and giving these interviews.
It's not performance-based.
Now, I've never done that.
I was at CPAC for the same reason I was at Fox News.
Andrew Breitbart.
Andrew Breitbart was the one who recommended me.
I owe a lot of my career to Andrew Breitbart.
And he recommended me when I never worked for him.
He just thought I was funny.
And he just thought I was good.
Back then, Lisa DePasquale worked at CPAC. Andrew Breitbart said, hey, if you want someone funny, they said, fine.
And we did it for four years.
Emceed that main ballroom.
The amount of money they spend at CPAC, the amount of money that is spent, now there's nothing wrong with it, but it is, to a degree, it is political masturbation.
The amount they spend, I mean many, many, many, many millions of dollars on sites and merch and podcasts and buying stage time.
And a fraction of the influence of what we do.
Of what Not Gay Jared does.
And he's a sidekick.
A horrible sidekick.
And he has more influence than these giant non-profits at CPAC. If anything, CPAC proves something.
And it proves what the conservative movement should be about.
That giant bureaucracies are not very effective.
They don't work.
They don't get in the bloodstream.
They haven't affected change.
This is not their time.
There are some great people at CPAC. The fact that it's trending on Twitter is kind of a miracle.
Well, it's not trending anymore.
Not anymore.
It was.
It was trending on Twitter.
Well, you do have a lot of people there.
So that's why I'm not there.
That's the reason we don't really go to CPAC. Nothing against it.
I just think you're more effective, the listeners, what you're doing here, being out there, on your own, individuals.
Oh, Tommy Loren after this will be back.
Come on.
Just give me a shot.
No!
If you're not of my class, we would never have anything in common.
Please, just let me paint you naked.
I promise you'll enjoy it.
Well, okay.
Damn, that was easy.
Damn, that was easy.
Damn, that was that was easy.
Damn, that was easy. that was easy.
It's a marvel that we haven't had her on the program before.
We've run in the same circles for a while.
She hosts a show at The Blaze, where I've done a lot of work, of course.
I can see the comments section now.
Blaze!
Crudback!
Cat Cruise!
Ah, coxervative!
But she hosts Tommy at The Blaze.
You can follow her on Twitter, Tommy Loren.
Tommy Loren, thanks for being with us.
Thanks for having me, finally.
Finally?
Well, it's not like I was banning you, unlike some people we were previously talking about who do have the shadow ban behind the scenes.
You're just busy.
I had the surgery.
I'm living on a diet of jerky and an undisclosed energy drink, so it's just been a mess, Tommy, and you look so much better than either of us.
Well, I appreciate that.
You slipped into my DMs, though, so I always check Twitter DMs towards that.
This is true.
Well, you're allowed a little more characters there on the direct messages.
Okay, so a couple of things.
A lot of people, I think, have seen you, and like you said, on social media, sometimes people are sort of fragmented.
We'll get into the macro of how you've gotten into this, because I think you and I kind of, you know, we both started as youngins, but you received a lot of backlash, and you and I shared that together this last week, or last couple of weeks, over your comments regarding one Beyonce Knowles, correct?
Well, yes, because how dare I go after that underdog, right?
I mean, you and I both.
How dare we attack someone that clearly needs our support and our help to bully her as beyond words?
Yeah.
Well, the difference is, I don't know if you've read my...
So I saw your thing, and you were talking about the Black Panthers, and you pointed out that they were a terrorist organization, and you were made the Donkey of the Week by some radio host.
I wrote something.
I co-wrote it with Courtney Kirchhoff, our brilliant writer.
And, I mean, I think the reads now, not Gay Jared would know, are in the millions.
So, we said it's not because you're black, it's because you're a whore.
And we included all the gifs of her humping the stage.
And when people say whore, what do you mean by whore?
Well, I mean someone who showcases their private parts on stage for money.
So I defined it pretty clearly, and there are a lot of reasons people have a problem with Beyonce.
So I wrote that, and oh my gosh, it's like, Beyonce is what Cher is to gay white men, Beyonce is to gay black men.
Did you notice that in the demographics that came after you?
Honestly, it's been so far-reaching.
A lot of it is little, you know, younger black girls.
I mean, gay men as well.
White gay men have come after me.
You know, the Beehive.
I still have stuff.
I had to make my Instagram private again today because I made comments about Chris Rock and you can't do that.
Basically, what we can't do is we can't talk about black people anymore.
Well, it's hard for you because you're straight out of the page of Hitler Youth.
Blonde hair, blue eyes.
I'm just some schmowak off the street and people have no idea how tall I am in person.
Yeah, I don't think that any straight male calls her Queen Bee.
Do you think I'm right in making that inference?
No, I don't think so.
Straight males, no.
Gay males, yes.
Gay white males, yes.
Well, I checked with Chris Lash over there at Dana, and I said, do you know anyone who calls her queen?
He said, well, maybe some straight black men do.
But even then, and I don't know, I don't think, frankly, I find her the least talented of Destiny's Child.
So people can say it all they want.
She's the most white-looking of Destiny's Child.
And I actually find the other ones to be more talented, to be more tasteful, And more attractive.
And I think I'm in the minority there.
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, for me to comment on Beyonce, I still like Beyonce.
I like her music.
I don't even mind her song, Formation.
I was running the other day, and it came up on my Pandora, and I'm like, oh boy.
Like, if only the Beehive knew that I was listening to Formation right now, I imagine what they would say.
But look, it's not about the fact that she's got a song.
It's what she did at the Super Bowl.
She's a gun rights advocate.
She's got ammo strapped to her chest, shaking her butt, talking about, you know, black history, black power, the Black Panthers, Black Lives Matter.
I said something about it and, I mean, geez, lynched me for it.
Oh gosh, don't use that terminology.
I know you're right.
You can't use the word lynch either, because I did that in the Final Thoughts the other day, and then it was again like, how dare you use our history against us?
I can't say that either.
Yeah, you probably shouldn't, because again, the beehive, as they call themselves.
They're so creative with these names, not gay, Jared.
Have you noticed that?
Oh yeah, the clubs they put together for their little Twitter hashtags.
It's fantastic.
Does Eliza Minnelli fan club have something?
What do they call you guys?
Oh, I don't...
Okay, back to you.
Yeah, you know, what it is, it's just they want to make certain people immune.
What is going on?
The computer doesn't like me today.
The computer doesn't like you.
I have no idea.
Tommy, just ignore that.
Let's act as though this is a professional broadcast, even though we're syndicated to many stations.
It also hurts, too, obviously the big attack they use against you is that you're young.
How old are you?
Do you disclose that?
23.
I have no problem saying that.
Yeah, when I was at Fox News, I was the youngest person.
I was 21.
I left the house at 18 to do stand-up.
That's what I did before I did any kind of political stuff.
And that was kind of the main attack people would use if you let your age out there.
And so I just hit it.
I actually told that story when I went to Fox and it was after I signed my contract that they had any idea as to how old I was.
Most of them thought I was 28 back then.
Do you feel like that's just kind of a go-to from the left?
I mean, for people who want to talk about being accepting, immediately it goes to identity politics, right?
You can't say it because you're young, you can't say it because you're white, or because if you don't mind, I'm sure our viewers will say, if I don't, you know, attractive.
Is that the main attack or did they take on your ideas?
No, mostly it's how dare you, you racist, white, cracker, bimbo.
Not so much for my age, because a lot of people that are attacking me are my age, but more so because of my hair color.
You're the typical blonde Barbie.
You're blonde.
What do you know?
You had a blonde moment.
You're young and you're white, and what did you have to do to get that job?
That's what I hear over and over again is what I had to do.
To get the job.
You know, honestly, I mean, I made a final thoughts and it went viral.
That's how I got the job.
It had nothing to do with anything else.
But, you know, whatever they want to think.
Let's be honest, though.
That shade of blonde is not entirely natural.
Well, I mean, it's pretty close.
Look at my roots.
Come on.
We can discuss this another time.
My wife is a blonde.
It's pretty damn close.
Okay.
All right.
I'll let it go.
Well, my wife is a tall blonde, and I remember one time when she went and asked for a size.
I don't even know women's sizes, to be honest.
I think she's a...
Do you have any idea, Naki, Jared?
I think she's like a six.
You're putting myself in a bad.
Okay.
I think she's a six.
Yeah.
There's no winning for that situation.
Well, she's very tall, though.
She's almost six foot.
Very thin.
I wouldn't say like...
When you say thin, people think skinny.
She's slim.
But she has shape.
Yeah.
We both have large posteriors.
And I remember one time a woman...
My wife said, do you have it in this size?
I think it's a six.
That's not the point of the story.
I said, no.
We only have it in real women's sizes.
I was like, okay, this is a problem now, see, because you attacked my wife, who was very nice, simply because she's not fat, as you are.
And it seems that people, again, the quickest way to success in the United States right now, I've said this time and time again, is to be a professional victim.
And that seems to be a tenet of the left.
And even people like Beyonce or Jay-Z or Nicey Kanye West, these are people who are wealthy beyond your wildest imaginations.
And they want to act as though they're broke.
They still want to claim to be street, right?
Beyonce still wants to claim that she's being oppressed or Oprah about the jewelry store.
What was that like, dealing with that for you?
I mean, it's got to be tough because you're younger, you're a woman, you're blowing the cards stacked against you.
Do you ignore it, or do you say, okay, let's get that out of the way.
Sure, I'm a racist, I'm a bigot, I'm a homophobe, I'm a sexist against myself, whatever.
Let's get to ideas.
How does a young woman handle it?
I don't play into that like the left does.
I don't sit here and cry to myself in the morning like, oh geez, it really sucks to be like a young blonde.
You know, I have it so rough.
I don't play that.
I don't play the victim.
That's what they would love for me to do that.
I tell them, please don't go out for my family.
Please tell me not to die.
You know, that would be nice.
But at the end of the day, I don't take these too seriously.
I don't go home and cry myself to sleep at night because some 12-year-old in Alabama is telling him a racist cracker.
Like, Oh, I don't lose sleep over it.
I'm sorry.
I don't know how one says racist cracker in the same phrase and not understand.
It's hilarious.
I don't either.
But they tell me.
But no, you get this, Stephen.
We are the only ones that can be racist.
They can't be racist because we are still oppressing them.
Well, that was a big problem, and that's why I don't play well with others when we do everything on our own.
I mean, you know, I hosted CPAC for four years, and every time it was fact-checked on Huffington Post or its front page, you know, we've talked.
And this is old hat, right?
I feel like we're just going to run around in circles and make the same point over.
That's what the left does.
But it got to a point where they would go to Fox, and it would be front page Huffington Post, and I'd get called into the second floor, and they'd say, Did you yell out the N-word on stage at CPAC to applause?
And I'd have to say, No, I didn't.
I used the word knickers because I was wearing knickers dressed as Thomas Jefferson.
And they'd say, Okay.
And it goes to HR. And I said, You know what?
I'm just tired of this.
And I think the right acquiesces too much, including people in a lot of right-wing media.
So I am grateful when people don't.
Now, were you always more conservative, or how did that come to be?
I'm conservative.
I grew up in South Dakota.
My parents are far less political than I am.
I mean, listen, I watch the news.
I pay attention.
I would not like the government to tell me what to do.
I believe in limited government.
I believe in working hard.
I don't believe in the bloated welfare state.
That's just, to me, that's common sense to be a conservative, believe it or not.
How long have you held those views?
Boy, I started talking at a very young age, so I don't know.
Okay, so it wasn't like you were in college or in high school, were a leftist.
You didn't have the conversion that Dana Lash did.
Oh, absolutely not, no.
This has pretty much been since the beginning of time, watching ABC News and pointing out the BS that I saw in the nightly news with my parents, and that's where it started.
No, I never had a transformation where I suddenly became conservative.
You know, it's funny what you say that I've talked about this, and I've been on a show.
John Stossel, you know, was on ABC News, and TGIF was, well, you're probably a little too young.
See, there's only a few age, but we had Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Teen Angel.
Oh, yeah.
Family Matters.
Family Matters, Step by Step.
Oh, yeah.
And then afterward, 2020 would come on, and John Stossel had his Give Me a Break segment.
And as a kid, I just loved it.
I thought, who is this guy?
It was the only news person I liked.
I got his biography, learned about his stutter.
I had no idea, I was 13, 14 years old, that he was a hardcore libertarian.
So I just wonder if there's something, even genetically, where people gravitate toward it.
Because I don't have this tremendous conversion story either.
Like, sometimes I wish I were a drug addict, so I could say, you know, I was reformed.
But, no.
You know what I think it is?
My parents never told me that I could write on the walls because it improved creativity.
They never told me I could just do as I please because I need to be a free spirit.
They didn't believe that spanking was somehow going to scar me for life.
I was just raised like a normal kid.
They didn't put me in safe spaces.
It's like, this is the way life is, Tommy.
Like...
Deal with it.
Work hard.
If you want something, work hard for it.
If you want money, you're going to have to clean the toilet.
To me, being raised in an average American family, you come out conservative if they do it right.
Well, I tell you what, you just made Jared envious because he was locked in a closet for weeks on end and beaten without mercy.
But your childhood sounds much more enjoyable.
Also, like it might produce a more balanced, adjusted person.
Yeah, for me, what it was...
My dad always had these conversations.
I was just talking with my dad about this today.
Even though your parents didn't push politics, did your dad always ask you the why?
That's what my dad did with me.
Where if I got my first check for Arthur, because I started acting when I was 12, my dad goes, okay, this is what you're going to pay in taxes if you're over 18.
You don't have to pay if you're under 18 in Quebec.
And I go, why?
He goes, well, why do you think?
And he always just elicited a conversation.
Were your parents like that?
I wish I could say so, but not really.
I came out...
I was always...
She's gonna be a pretty blonde.
We don't need to worry about her.
I would always argue and petition with my parents constantly.
If I asked my mom if we could go shopping and she said no, I would write her a list of reasons why we really should go shopping and why we should clean the house.
I've just always been an arguer, and so I enjoy doing it.
I enjoy poking holes on other people's arguments.
My parents say that the reason that I speak well is because they never talk baby talk to me.
Maybe that has something to do with it.
I don't know.
That was my family, too.
We have to go to a break soon.
I think we share so much more in common than I realized because I was that way.
And I made my case when I wasn't allowed a BB gun.
And I actually came up with a range of feet per second that should be acceptable based on my age and upgraded every two years.
And it would go back to the flow chart I had for my parents.
So I was just very, very argumentative.
Tommy Loren, follow her on Twitter, TommyOnTheBlaze.tv.
Are you saying we have more time than you thought, not gay, Jared?
A couple more seconds.
A couple more seconds?
Yeah, just feather it out there.
Feather it out there.
All right, well, we'll come back with Tommy Loren.
And we're going to find her a perfect match because she's single.
Don't miss this.
We'll be right back.
The Reagan Hills, Louder with Crowder.
I'm Perry Matheson.
We now return you to Governor John Kasich's live presidential rally in progress.
Now, now, now stop that.
That's not productive at all.
You suck!
No, no I don't.
Yes, you do.
I do not...
I do not suck.
We will keep you abreast with breaking coverage as the rally unfolds.
Here at Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Matheson.
When it's time to party, we will party hard.
After that embarrassing display, we are back.
Thank you for staying with us.
Host of Tommy on The Blaze TV. Follow her on Twitter at Tommy Loren.
Thank you for staying with us, ma'am.
Of course.
Okay, real quick.
We had a lot of requests from fans.
You, in fact, are not married or engaged.
True.
Okay, we don't want to know anything else, because technically your legal status is single, and we have a system here, a little known fact.
One of our regular guests, Gerald, is a mechanical engineer.
Him and Not Gay Jared have a patent on a machine where we will input information.
We're going to ask you a series of questions, and from everybody on the face of the earth, it's going to narrow it down to your scientifically perfect match.
Any questions?
I'm excited and a little nervous, but let's do it.
Yeah, it's one match.
I don't know how many men there are.
Probably about three billion?
There's a lot.
There's a lot.
Probably more than a dozen, I would say.
I would assume they discount the guy who played the Somali pirate actor from Captain Phillips.
We hope so.
They're in the mix.
They're in the mix.
Let's bring in the system, not good, Jared.
Little known fact, the Dream Machine is a little tone deaf.
It is not the best.
Not very good at that.
That's not the point here.
Okay, so I'm going to ask you a series of questions, Tommy.
First question.
Your perfect man.
Is he above or below six foot?
Above.
Absolutely.
Okay, we got it.
Second question.
Your ideal man.
Would you consider him to be rugged or pretty?
Rugged.
Rugged.
Okay, put that in there, Jared.
I think it's got it.
We got that in there?
We got that in there.
Okay.
Your ideal man, Tommy, would he have brown hair, blonde hair, red hair, or you prefer not to answer?
I mean, I hate to go along with your Hitler Youth thing, but probably blonde hair.
I'm sorry, light hair.
Okay.
Processing sexy information.
Okay.
Dreamy.
It's got it.
Sounds pretty dreamy.
But one other...
I should list a caveat.
It also detects...
Kinky.
It's...
It's in there.
Stop there.
Stop it, Dream Machine.
This is a nice lady.
One caveat.
You may even be wrong about what you want, and it'll actually pick up through vocal.
It's kind of like a lie detector test.
It picks up.
So, you know, you could be wrong.
Maybe you want a guy with brown hair.
I thought I liked women with brown hair.
My wife has blonde hair.
Okay, we have two more questions here.
Ideal man, his political worldview, would it have to be conservative, left-wing, or undisclosed?
Preferably conservative.
Yeah, let's go conservative.
Okay.
In here.
In putting.
Okay.
Out putting.
In putting.
What is that?
Out putting.
Stop it with that dream machine.
That's enough.
This is a nice lady.
That was a perfect dream machine.
Eva, this is a scientific patent on this?
That's what they said.
That's what the box said.
Gosh, they'll patent anything nowadays.
Okay, final question.
This ideal man, is he self-employed?
Or employed by somebody else ensuring financial security?
I guess the question is, what's more important?
Someone who is individualistic or provides security?
Security.
Yeah.
Security?
I'm surprised.
Computing, lock her up, and throw away the key.
Why?
I don't know.
I think it's about ready.
Okay, so do we have a perfect match?
Is it giving you an output?
We've got somebody here.
Okay, tell me, Lorraine, we have your perfect match.
Are you ready?
I'm so excited, yes.
All right.
Scientific matching process.
Your perfect dream match is...
Dean Cain.
Wow!
Dean Cain!
I didn't know, I didn't, did you, did you expect that?
I didn't expect that.
Most famous for his portrayal of Superman on Lois and Clark, a popular television series in the 1990s.
Okay, we get it.
You know who Dean Cain is, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
He DMs you.
In fact, Dean Cain is also a super athlete.
He played football on scholarship at Princeton, impressing the crowds and winning their hearts.
It sounds like we know where...
So you said Dean Cain DMs you?
Because he's a friend of the show.
He's DM'd me before in the past, yes.
Okay.
Also, guest start on Law& Order.
I didn't know that.
That's impressive.
That's impressive, though.
When you have the machine, sometimes it doesn't know exactly.
It just keeps giving you information.
So, would you say, would you be, if we could set it up on the show, would you have a conversation with Dean King?
Because we could make that happen.
Sounds good.
I mean...
Also, one of the most successful celebrity on the celebrity edition of American Gladiator.
Okay, I get it.
I can't believe that, though.
Did you know that at bottom?
I honestly didn't know.
Did you know that about Dean Cain?
The last part?
No, I made it on everything.
Believe it.
Also, Dean Cain posted Ripley's Believe It or Not.
I didn't know that either.
Apparently, he's a man of...
Dean Cain...
Okay, I get it.
I get it, Dream Machine.
We get it, Dream Machine.
You like...
No, you don't, Dean Cain.
Okay, Jared, can you shut it off?
No, you don't.
Dean Cain is a national trigger.
Unplug it.
Often overlooked for modern pretty boys who do not have the same athletic nor acting pedigree.
Just unplug it.
I don't know where the plug is.
There we go.
Sorry.
Tommy, I'm really sorry about that.
It could be right about you.
The machine was very forceful.
I mean, it really was.
I think the machine loves Dean King.
The generator power.
Dean King also provides the genes necessary for successful offspring.
Tommy, I'm so sorry.
Jared, take it.
I'm sorry.
Stop it.
What'd you do?
I think it's fixed.
We'll wait for the 2.0 model.
We'll wait for the 2.0.
Tommy, I am so sorry.
It was unbelievably unprofessional and inappropriate.
Back to the point.
Dean Cain, you said that you DM'd Dean Cain.
Were you aware that he was conservative?
Yes, absolutely.
And does he sound like someone would be in your wheelhouse?
I mean, you know, he was on TV in the 90s.
I was born in the 90s.
Maybe he was a slight bit too young, but hey, you never know.
I'm surprised that it wasn't a non-negotiable for your guy to be conservative.
No!
I don't like boring people.
Sometimes, okay, I say this, I say this...
Very carefully.
Sometimes conservative men can be like your typical college Republican, yacht club type of guy, and I'd rather, I mean, I don't want a flaming liberal, but it's not a necessity.
All right, Tommy Loren, we will bring you back soon.
We must go.
Stay tuned.
Oh, Jack!
I've never done this before!
Have you had a lot of nude models?
I know.
No, I forgot to shave my pants.
Don't show this to my husband, Billy Zane.
Don't show this to my husband, Billy Zane.
Politics.
Civility?
How about honesty in this country, folks?
Entertainment.
I don't like entertainment.
And a whole bunch of other stuff.
It's about having a healthy body image.
You have a very unhealthy body.
You should have a horrible body image.
Not a big home improvement market.
We are definitely going to get letters.
You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
You're a strange animal.
That's what I know.
You're getting louder with Crowder.
But you're a strange animal.
I've got to follow.
Oh, I'm in the speedy to sound.
All right, we're in the third hour.
I am your host, Stephen Crowder, louderwithcrowder.com.
Of course, always producing with me in studio is Jared, who is not gay.
Follow him at Not Gay.
Jared, I fulfill my legal obligations.
Draw your own conclusions.
The next guest, we've had him on many times.
And people actually...
He wouldn't be, I guess, what you would call a high-profile guest.
But people love him because he's a smart guy, let alone fact.
Open-heart surgeon.
Neurosurgeon.
Actually a rocket scientist.
And he didn't do it officially because he's a hobbyist.
But he actually beat...
He didn't beat.
He placed top five Tour de France records had he actually competed.
Gerald Morgan, thank you for being on, sir.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
It was top four.
Top four.
Okay, that's right.
On that little machine bike that they send that has a little screen right there, I beat the little figure in front of me to get four.
So it was great.
Does it come with EPO and HGH? Hopefully.
Hopefully it does.
Well, you and I now have this in common.
I had the knee surgery this week, and you've had multiple knee surgeries.
Not many people know.
You played football at Notre Dame.
We're quite the star athlete.
How many knee surgeries have you had?
I've had three.
Two on the right knee and one on the left.
But they were all pretty much minor cartilage tear stuff that needed to be taken care of and cleaned up.
Well, that's what ended up happening with me.
There was a ligament tear, but they said, you know what, we think it'll heal.
It's healing really well.
It's not quite stage three, but they had to clean out a lot of cartilage.
Please tell me you felt better once they did that.
I don't know that I can tell you that.
No, I'm kidding.
Yes.
I did.
I felt a lot better.
It took a little while.
It took a little mental getting over the wobbly knee for a bit, and then everything was good to go, and you're back on the field.
Okay.
Well, Gerald has actually been helping us out.
Since we broadcast this show live once a week, and the debates are going on this week, this is when we're broadcasting it live.
If you're listening on our syndication network, of course, we're very appreciative.
Of course, our home station, Wham!, Friday morning.
But the debates are going on, so I haven't been able to watch it.
Now, you've been watching it, right, Gerald?
I've been watching it.
I have a wine shop, and there's nothing better than having a glass of wine and watching a debate.
Yes, except many things.
So, what's going on?
Rubio made the jab at Donald Trump's penis, which of course is out of line, but apparently Donald Trump wanted to insist that he has a very large appendage.
You know how you know a guy has a small penis?
When he goes out of his way to insist that he has a big penis.
Yeah, I think he doth protesteth too much.
I can't believe this is a presidential election.
Can you?
Well, I'll be honest.
I mean, there was a couple of exchanges where he and Rubio were going at it, and I thought that this was two kids fighting in high school, not two guys that were trying to get my vote to become president of the United States.
Cruz and Casey, for all his faults, actually seemed more presidential on the stage than either one of those guys in the I think Rubio's just figured it out.
Like, I've got to go for the knockout punch and try to take out Trump, or I'm not going to make it anywhere.
And I don't know.
I think he's looking small, to be honest.
No pun intended.
I see what you did there.
Well, I hate to bring this up on you, because you're usually right, but you remember when you came on this program and Donald Trump announced it, and you said there was no way.
No way.
Steven, you're crazy.
You don't even need to think about it.
I mean, come on.
And you convinced me, and I think not gay Gerald, I thought, okay, maybe.
Gerald, how could he be wrong?
I've got another prediction.
Okay.
It's not going to happen.
You don't think it's going to be Donald Trump?
It's not going to happen.
You still think it's going to be someone else?
I do.
Are you just saying that because you want a safe face?
I really hope so.
All right, that's what I thought.
Well, the good news is he's got Marco Rubio, and I think Ted Cruz is thinking the same thing.
So that's the only reason to explain why they have just now considering going after him.
Donald Trump?
Yeah.
Well, Rubio, I think...
All of this is too little too late.
It's all too little too late.
You can't put the jack back in the box.
You can't put the micropenis back in the fly.
That's the problem.
It's hard to manipulate.
Here's the thing, though.
You've got the conservative media now kind of starting to turn on Trump a little bit.
Finally, they've been just giving him free airtime this entire time.
So Chris Wallace actually asked him a really interesting question about how he's going to balance the budget and how much money he's going to save.
save and he said well you said you're going to save 300 billion dollars by negotiating our contracts better with some of the pharmaceutical companies and trump said yeah absolutely that's absolutely true and he said no you can't you can't do that in fact because we don't spend that much money on pharmaceuticals we spend 78 billion dollars through medicare and farm you're going to save more money than the program actually cost do you have a real plan to balance the budget you know what i hear when i hear that
I hear all of the Donald Trump supporters saying it was a loaded question that they wouldn't give anyone else, and it's unfair, and you should boycott it.
But he asked Ted Cruz, and Ted Cruz goes, well, I'm going to abolish the IRS. He goes, well, if you're going to do that, Chris Wallace said, you have to have a plan in place to collect the taxes that you still want to have and all of the other information.
And he said, you're absolutely right.
Why don't you go to my website and see a point-by-point plan on how we do it?
And he answered the rest of the question.
So Donald Trump just says, I'm going to make America great again, and we're going to do great stuff.
We're going to negotiate.
And he doesn't have any substance to back it up.
So you're telling me there's a chance.
That's right.
I don't think so.
I think it's Trump versus Clinton.
I think it's the world's greatest reality show.
And like I said earlier in the show, listen, Trump isn't my guy.
But if the people pick Trump, it needs to be Trump.
I don't want to see the kind of Democrat action happening with the RNC and the superdelegates and Dirty Pool.
We can't do that.
I think we both agree on that, right?
Third party, right?
No, not third party, but I'm saying you don't want to see happen with Trump what they effectively did to Bernie.
I mean, Bernie got screwed on it.
I can't stand Bernie Sanders, but the idea of superdelegates, we both agree, even if we're not Trump supporters, you don't want to see that happen to the Republican Party.
No, I think you and I are both willing to fight to the death to save a system that works long-term than to have a short-term gain.
Oh my gosh, you're going to get so much flack for that.
But you know what's funny?
I don't come from...
People always go...
I was raised in Canada, so I voted in both elections.
I voted for Stephen Harper.
It's a parliamentary system.
And if people think that the two-party system, it's not perfect, but you compare it to the parliamentary system, I mean, look at Europe.
Look at Canada.
You have people getting elected to very serious positions without even close to getting half of the vote.
So it is not the same – it's not at all the same kind of a representative as we have with the constitutional republic with the two-party system here.
It's flawed, but people who think they want the parliamentary system, I don't think they know what they're talking about.
Would you actually go third party?
I can't imagine I'm hearing those words from your mouth.
Okay, can I put a scenario forward for you?
As long as it doesn't involve any more penis talk.
I'm tired with this.
Well, that's no, not at all.
So Donald Trump, if he gets the nomination, I don't know.
And you and I kind of talked about this and we've gone back and forth.
But I don't know that I can vote for him in good conscience.
But then again, I don't want to vote for Hillary Clinton.
But then again, I don't want to not vote.
So I would almost be better if somebody else would run conservative third parties, split the vote, we lose.
I know people hate me right now, but Hillary Clinton wins.
We have an opposition Congress to keep her in check.
I'm much more comfortable with that than I am with a Donald Trump victory and some guy that's all about personality that's going to go off half-cocked and do some crazy stuff.
And he's going to have a Congress that's pretty much on his side for a lot of the time.
And then we don't win another presidential election for God knows how long.
No, I think you're absolutely right.
I mean, listen, there's a pendulum, right?
And the pendulum right now with Obama has gone pretty far.
Hillary Clinton is such a feminist, and that's just so unappealing.
I think she pushes that pendulum if she's elected where it swings back.
Right.
That's what I think.
Donald Trump doesn't push that pendulum.
Donald Trump is an amoeba, right?
And that's why people like him.
He's not principled.
That's why his supporters like him.
He doesn't hold an ideology.
They actually like that he's inconsistent.
And I can respect that, that they think he's just pragmatic.
But if you're talking long-term, I think there's a strong chance whoever is next is a one-term president.
I think if it's Donald Trump, it's almost guaranteed, if only out of his own volition.
I don't even think this guy – I mean, he's 70 years old.
I don't think he's going to want a second term, and I think he's the kind of guy who's going to just light it on fire and walk away laughing.
I think they're going to – he's going to get in the office and go, wait, I actually have to work?
You know, I can't just say big things and people do – No, it has the best words.
We're going to do big things, boys.
Just stick with me.
Yeah, that doesn't work on day three.
The best words.
Did you hear that quote?
We have the best words.
We're going to use the best words.
What?
I think whoever, whatever happens this time, come next election, Marco Rubio wins, even if it's by...
Hillary one term, Donald one term, or if Rubio somehow magically clenches this time out.
That's my prediction.
Rubio is...
Are you mental?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe, but I... Think about it.
Think about it.
Don't listen to Jared and the people of his ilk.
Are you crazy?
Those guys are retards.
He just hasn't been in it long enough.
It's going to be someone who you likely don't know.
That's the big thing.
Next time around?
Yeah.
No one thought it was going to be Donald Trump.
No one thought that.
Everyone for the longest time thought it was Rubio.
Everyone thought it was Cruz.
They're always looking at some savior and it changes.
There is no savior.
In any case, this is documented.
Let Gerald speak.
Okay, Gerald, what's on your mind here?
We're talking about the debates.
What's your big takeaway from these debates right now?
Just how stupid people actually are in this country.
Oh my God.
I mean, they're voting for Donald Trump!
Stop it!
You're insulting the audience.
No, I'm accurately assessing their intellect.
I apologize.
Not your audience.
I'm saying the people that are out there voting for Trump.
I don't understand it.
How can you vote for somebody...
I understand what you said a minute ago, that they think he's a principled guy, which is the funniest thing that I've heard about Donald Trump ever said, because he's the most unprincipled guy.
No, no, they think he's unprincipled.
They like that he's unprincipled, yeah.
I understand that, but nobody...
I think Donald Trump got into this thinking he was going to get some ratings out of it and he was going to move on.
And then he's like, you know what?
Let me move the line a little bit.
I'm going to go after Megyn Kelly.
Maybe this will be the point where I find out that's the line.
Well, no, that's not the line.
Let me just say that I'm going to kill somebody in Times Square and not lose a single voter that for sure...
No, no, he didn't say he would.
He said he could.
Let's be fair here.
He was saying in a hypothetical.
Hypothetically, he could.
And then he goes, well, wait.
No, they're still there.
They still like me.
I don't know where the line is.
If that doesn't get you laughed out of the game, I don't know what will.
No, I think, well, there you go.
There you go.
See, you just contradicted yourself.
How dare you, you rocket scientist.
We're going to have to go to a break.
More of Gerald Morgan, Lauder with Crowder.
Stay tuned.
Stay tuned.
The Reagan Middle of the Ladder with Crowder, I'm Perry Maffleton.
We now return you to Governor John Kasich's live presidential rally in progress.
No, no, no!
Keep your jackets on!
You don't need to go to the exits.
We're still in this running a positive campaign.
Come on.
Some of the beginnings end.
I really hope someone makes me VP. Please someone who's not me, make me VP. John Kasich would make a great VP. Make me VP. We will keep you abreast with breaking coverage as the rally unfolds.
Here at Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Mothafone.
Harold, I'd have a good mind to just toss this broad overboard.
Here we are on this expedition.
She keeps ranting about some heart of the ocean emerald or some sh**.
She keeps ranting about some heart.
She keeps ranting about some heart.
I tell you what, I am definitely being censored on the Twitter because I'm putting up these polls and a lot of people aren't seeing them.
Gerald Morgan, we're back.
Are you still with us, sir?
Yeah, I'm here.
All right.
Well, I put up the poll.
There's only a few votes.
There's not enough of a sample size.
It's been up one minute on Twitter.
50% right now, you can bring this up, Jared, on the screen.
50% agree with you that they go third party.
If it's Trump, 33% disagree.
70% answer, I hate things!
So, that gives you a pretty significant barometer of our audience.
Um...
You're going back and forth here, not what do you want.
You're a betting man.
I know you're not, because you're a man of the cloth as well.
Qualified reverend.
He can marry you, this gentleman.
I'm not going to marry gay Jared.
Let's specify.
Not gay Jared.
I can perform the ceremony if it's a woman and a man.
What about Caitlyn Jenner?
That gets tricky.
What about Caitlyn Jenner who now endorses Ted Cruz?
There's a wrinkle.
Ah!
Ah, there we go.
But Caitlyn Jenner could technically be there for both, I think, right?
Identifying as a woman actually being a man.
Nope.
Could marry him herself.
Nope, that's transphobic.
I don't know where you think.
How dare you!
How dare you!
You're a betting man.
Who do you think is the GOP nominee?
Not what you want.
Who do you really think?
Gun to your head right now.
You have to take that.
Gun to my head right now.
Inspiring gun violence.
Let's listen to this.
Wow.
Wow, yes.
So here's what I think will happen.
I am a betting man that it will be Ted Cruz as the GOP nominee.
Really?
A gun to your head now?
Gun to my head right now.
I don't think people can stomach Rubio.
I don't think Trump wins it because too many establishment people don't want him.
Dark Horse, Mitt Romney in a brokered convention, but I doubt that'll happen.
But gun to the head, I'm probably saying Cruz.
That would be awful.
Mitt Romney.
47% of you love me.
That would be the biggest attribute to all of America.
So bad.
You might as well get...
I mean, Hillary Clinton literally wears the pants in that debate.
Her pants are more ill-fitting than Mitt Romney's.
It's true.
He's got new high waters, though.
They've come out with a new release.
What she would do to him would be a felony in 48 states.
That's what I'm getting at.
Okay.
I don't see the path.
I don't see the path now as we go into the next states, Michigan, Midwest.
I don't see Ted Cruz picking up any of those states.
I see Rubio doing better.
That's why he's in.
He makes that case, and it's just split, and I see Trump winning more.
Yeah, but he's not going to get to the magic number.
He's going to get to the convention and not have it sewn up, and none of them will, and I think there's going to be some chicanery that goes on that makes it to where he doesn't become the nominee.
You know what?
I don't even think most people are entirely sure how that works at a brokered convention.
I'm not entirely sure how that process works.
Aren't there brokers running around?
No?
I don't think so.
Not like the pit on the stock exchange.
It's a great place if you're looking to just toss your money in an index fund so you can outpace Trump's wealth.
It's one of those things people talk about a lot, and I readily admit, I'm like, I don't know exactly how that works with a brokered convention.
I know we talk about it.
I know they have the ability to put a wrinkle in the plans.
I'm not entirely sure how that works.
Are you, Gerald?
I'm not entirely sure, but I know that they have some flexibility at that point if they get through a couple of votes where delegates can actually change their vote.
They don't have to go with what the state has said.
So there's some flexibility there, and if some kind of deal is struck, I think that's what you're going to see.
And it could be a Cruz-Rubio thing.
I know a lot of people are pushing for that now, but if you get to the convention and it looks like Trump is in the lead but he's not going to clinch it, then you're going to start to see some finagling going on.
Yeah.
Well, I don't think there's anything untoward if Rubio and Cruz do not.
No, that's true.
I think that's fine.
But I think the thing that would force that is a lot of the establishment guys making it very clear to Trump that come hell or high water, he is not getting out of the convention as the nominee.
I don't think that's it.
I think if that happens, I think that's a disaster.
I do too.
I don't like that.
The problem with this is you're talking about establishment guys at a convention.
The person they want less than Donald Trump is Ted Cruz.
It's Ted Cruz.
I understand that.
But they can't put Rubio in that chair and they can't put Romney in that chair unless Rubio does something incredible between now and then.
I don't know.
Just saying.
Maybe he's a grower, not a shower.
We don't know about Rubio.
I think they would put Rubio.
I think.
Yeah, they would.
The establishment prefers Rubio at that point.
And they can justify because he's won a state or so.
Let's say he miraculously wins Florida.
Yeah, let's say maybe, maybe wins Florida, probably not.
The big difference with Florida, and Gerald is a Texan, you know, Ted Cruz won by a significant margin in Texas.
Not as much as one would think, but still significant.
The big difference is people in Texas haven't bought the Ted Cruz lies because people who voted for him got exactly what they voted for.
The satisfaction rating with Cruz and his voting constituency is as high as one can actually get.
The difference between that and Marco Rubio's home state in Florida, I think there's a big screw you vote coming Marco's way because he betrayed them.
And the punishment of it is it's a winner-take-all state.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is going to hurt.
I don't think it's really fair.
I think...
I don't know.
There's no comparison between Florida and Texas.
I don't know.
You know, there are a lot of things, and I'll talk about this more after the break.
I think you have to throw out a lot of the rules, too.
Don't you, Gerald?
I mean, at this point, nobody can make sense of it.
Well, when a cartoon character gets into the race and does well, it throws out everything.
I mean, nobody thought that that's what we would have, but yes, we do.
Well, Hillary Clinton, you know, we're at a point where someone who is so unbelievably unlikable.
I mean, the superdelegates, it's unreal.
I just think you have to say, all right, maybe the whole system is rigged.
I hate to sound like that pothead, but maybe.
I think a lot of things need to change, and I think this election has shown us that more than any that I can remember for sure in my generation, but maybe any in history.
Yeah, I think you're right.
They always say this is the most important election in history.
I don't know if this is the most important election in American history.
I think they say that every time, every time around.
So I don't know.
I think this is the most defining in a long time in that this is not how elections have ever been.
There's very extreme paths we're looking at.
When you compare the Bernie to the Ted Cruz to...
The wild card that is Trump.
The paths that we can go on, I think, are much more diverse than usual.
They're much more split.
Diversity is good, right?
We like diversity.
Just diversity at any cost.
If you compare the rhetoric of Obama and McCain, for example, you know, back then if you called Obama socialist, they said it was like the equivalent to using the N-word.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
And now you have Bernie Sanders, who's a self-avowed socialist, and Ted Cruz.
So there's definitely a widening.
All right, Gerald, where can people find you, brilliant man?
At GMorganJR, GMorganJr on Twitter.
And tell him if you think he's wrong.
He might go third party, but he did justify his case.
Send your hate Gerald's way.
Not mine.
Tommy described me, by the way, as the perfect man.
Tommy described you as the perfect man?
It was me.
I don't know if she meant to, but it was me.
I tell you what, the dream machine is a very scientific process.
I don't know.
It didn't shoot you out.
I don't even know that you were in the system.
I wasn't even in the top 100.
I think it still had your slave name before he dished it to the Nation of Islam.
We must go.
Lotter with Crowder.
Stay tuned.
I can't believe this is happening.
I'm tired!
This is the worst thing I've ever seen!
I know!
I know!
Can you help me?
No!
Look what happened to that guy in the propeller!
He went off the propeller!
Shut up!
Shut up!
I needed a new model!
That's what you offered me!
Don't push me!
I'm not pushing you!
I'm trying to save us!
Shut the f*** up!
Shut up!
Stephen Crowder here.
Hey, Jared, what are you doing?
I'm just having trouble getting through this book.
That's because you can't read.
I know!
You should have used Freedom Project Academy.
Freedom what?
Freedom Project Academy.
Just go to fpeusa.org.
It's a fully accredited private online school.
No Common Core and absolutely no government funding whatsoever.
All the classes are taught live online, kindergarten through high school, with real teachers based around the country.
So through Freedom Project's classical curriculum, students master the basics like math, English, history, science, alongside some more commonly neglected courses like logic.
You're not getting that in a lot of schools.
Economics, American Studies, and Latin, all of which foster the long-lost art of critical thinking and create leaders for tomorrow.
All classes are recorded to be viewed 24-7, and you can get your very own sneak peek of any class or professor at fpeusa.org.
Open Enrollment runs March through July, but classes always fill up fast.
Now, do you have your GED equivalency, Jared?
No, is that important?
I think so.
I mean, you might want to give them a call.
That's FreedomProjectAcademy at FPEUSA.org.
All right, okay. okay.
I know, listen, we've been tactful.
I think people know, I tell people, I'm not a Trump guy.
We've had as many Trump people on here...
I think that's the idea at least people are starting to get.
The opinion people are starting to craft of Stephen Crowder.
But we've had Milo on, we've had Gavin on, we had John Phillips on today, we've invited Trump, we've invited surrogates.
No go.
Right?
So...
There.
We do try and be fair and have that dialogue.
Now, let me just say something here.
We're talking about this election.
Republicans are magnificent at one thing.
They're a marvel at losing.
And they deserve to lose.
Republicans deserve to lose.
You're in a position that you deserve.
And I'm not talking about the establishment.
I'm not talking about Fox News, though I think a lot of conservative media has been entirely about preaching to an echo chamber and making sure that you collect those dollar-dollar bills, not about getting your ideas out to another form.
That's why everything we do is free and accessible.
Difference of opinion.
But they always make the wrong decision.
And that's all of you.
You all bear some responsibility.
A majority of you, right?
A lot of you didn't.
But let's look up, for example, in Barack Obama, right, in 2012.
That was an election that was pretty important.
The Obamacare rollout, the Affordable Care Act, wildly unpopular.
Wildly unpopular.
Democrats weren't happy with it because a public option wasn't included.
Of course, Republicans were always opposed to it.
Now it was effectively a giant kickback to insurance companies, which we now know.
Rollout was difficult.
Had to be extended.
Premiums going up.
Deductibles going up.
Prices skyrocketing.
It was wildly unpopular.
That was the weak point on Barack Obama.
Think of it as a video game.
That's the flashing weak spot you're supposed to hit with your laser gun.
So, who did Republicans nominate?
They nominated the only other single person in the history of mankind, not the United States, all over the world, to have signed a health care mandate into law.
The only person to have not done that, the only person to have done that not named Barack Obama, is Mitt Romney.
That's who Republicans ran.
And so he ran like a sackless monkey, not willing to attack Barack Obama on the one weak point that could have won the election.
That's a huge reason why Republicans lost.
That's the pivotal point.
Here in this election, there is one really significant weak spot with Hillary Clinton.
She has the second highest unfavorability rating of any presidential candidate In the history of American politics.
Second highest ever.
That's her weak spot.
Why?
Because she's a flip-flopper, she's inconsistent, and people think she's a liar.
They think she's untrustworthy.
Second highest unapproval rating ever.
So, all Republicans need to do is nominate someone with even a moderately high unfavorability rating.
Just an average one.
What do Republicans, as it looks they're going to do, they find and will nominate the single person with the number one highest unfavorability rating of any candidate of all time in Donald Trump.
There are so many people out there right now with Hillary Clinton, with her unfavorability rating, they are looking to vote for anyone not named Hillary Clinton.
The only person who they will also put on that list, and more, is Donald Trump.
Now, Republicans, you deserve to lose.
You deserve to lose.
Now, we're talking about this.
Let's get into the numbers, and then we'll get into the principles of it, okay?
I'm not a political pundit necessarily, but I watch all of these people, and they talk, and they get it so wrong.
Okay.
The last election, Romney-Obama was determined by about 5 million votes, 60 million to 65 million.
That's what determined that election.
If you listen to really conservative sources like Rush Limbaugh or Mark Levin, they estimate as high as 4 to 5 million registered Republican conservative voters Did not come out to vote for Romney, who even voted for McCain.
So they say four million less than McCain.
Skeptics say it's only about one to one and a half million.
Let's split the difference and be fair.
Let's call it three million.
Three million less Republicans voted for Romney than McCain because they didn't think he was conservative enough.
What killed Romney was not the independent vote.
What killed Romney was that cavalry never came over the hill.
Now, if you look at the numbers that we have, Donald Trump is the one candidate who will have the highest number of Republicans who guaranteed will not vote for him.
He's that candidate.
He will have far more Republicans who will not come out and vote for him.
So he's starting at, let's conservatively say, a deficit of $10 million when compared to McCain or Romney.
He's starting at that deficit.
So people are saying he's going to get so many moderates, he's going to get so many Democrats.
You believe that the guy who's going into a general with a deficit of millions, based on the polls that we have available to us, you can't throw them out when they're not convenient, in a general election, With the single highest unfavorability rating in a general election of all time is somehow going to magically gain more Democrats and more independents than any candidate running since before Reagan.
That's your gamble?
It's a high-risk gamble.
That's not inherently wrong.
Right?
A high-risk gamble you make.
Why?
Trump knows this.
Art of the deal.
If it's a high reward.
Right?
Okay, that's a high-risk gamble.
It's the highest-risk gamble Republicans can make.
What's the reward?
You get a borderline lifelong Democrat, pro-choice, anti-Second Amendment, anti-free speech, four bankruptcies, serial admitted philanderer, divorcee, who didn't have an opinion on partial birth abortion, guns, illegal immigration, who was flip-flopped on that, until he decided to run for election.
That's your reward.
Whether he's your guy or not, that's your very, very high-risk reward.
And the reason his supporters, the sole redeeming reason, they don't deny that, is it's based on the idea that Donald Trump is a great businessman.
So again, we've gone through the numbers.
Great businessman.
That's his selling point.
Okay, let's use the numbers that Trump used himself.
Okay?
In 82, he said he was worth $500 million.
Of course, he was estimated to be worth about $200 million.
He said $500 million.
If he'd have taken that money, put it in an S&P index fund, he would be worth today, at the rate of increase that was, I think, about over that course because of the boom in the 80s, over 11%, $20 billion.
If he put it in an unmanaged index fund...
And never touched it.
$20 billion.
He claims to be worth $10 billion.
That's twice what he claims to be worth.
Now, that's what he claims to be worth.
Okay?
The closest thing we have to a third-party analysis was Deutsche Bank.
They put it at $750 million.
Forbes has them listed at about $3 billion.
Donald Trump varies based on many, many billions depending on the day.
This is a guy who inherited anywhere between $40 and $200 million from his father when he got started.
Okay?
Okay?
His business would have done better if he'd have done nothing with that money.
Also for bankruptcies and left people holding the bag.
So you're talking about...
By the way, he sued a publication for saying that he was worth $250 million.
Twice.
Because he sued them for what?
$5 billion.
Because he said they were lying.
Guess what?
He lost twice in a court of law.
Why?
Because the court deemed that the estimation of $250 million...
It wasn't proven to be inaccurate by Donald Trump himself.
He wasn't able to.
So he lost that case twice.
So, again, let's recap this.
You have somebody who is going into a general with a deficit of Republicans.
According to the data, of more than any Republican candidate that we've had in recent memory, probably 10 million, he has the single highest unfavorability rating Of any candidate running in the history of ever, running against Hillary Clinton will somehow magically win over a number of independents and Democrats not seen in decades, who is a serial philandering, lie-about-everything candidate who's never been consistent on a single issue until the last six months, and even knows he's flip-flopped because you believe he's a good businessman.
And you believe he's a good businessman because he inherited $200 million from his dad, and it's very likely worth, nearly half a century later, less than a billion dollars.
That's your play?
And I can see the comments, how many millions do you have?
Well, I didn't get $40 million.
I didn't get $200 million.
But your IRA has outperformed Donald Trump's success.
These are using his own numbers, by the way.
Again, none of the numbers are consistent.
And when it came down to proving in a court of law, he never has.
He's worth far less.
So not only is he a liar to his wife, not only is he a liar on policy, not only is he a liar on the debate stage, he lies about the one thing that you think you like him for, which is his money.
By any measurable, objective barometers we have available to us, he's not that good with it.
And you have no reason to believe any of his claims are accurate.
Plenty of legal reasons to believe that he's not.
I just, that's what it comes down to.
I can see people are going to get upset.
What is it that irks me?
That's what irks me.
I don't think it's a smart play.
Just like I don't think it was a smart play in 2012 to run the only candidate ever who signed a healthcare mandate into law in Mitt Romney.
I caught a lot of flack for saying, oh, oh, we have a weak candidate right now because of Barack Obama and Obamacare, and so we're going to run the billionaire Mormon who signed a healthcare mandate into law in the Massachusetts.
The only thing Barack Obama needs to say to Mitt Romney is, you first.
And I will tell you, I did work for traditional media.
I caught a lot of flack for that.
I was never a Romney fan.
You want to say I'm establishment?
I've never been a Romney fan.
In the order.
Okay, let's leave it all out on the table right now.
People go, who do you support?
Listen, I don't endorse candidates.
That's not my job.
You want to know who I liked?
You want to know who I liked personally?
Who I liked?
Okay.
Fiorina, Cruz, Rand, Rubio.
In that order.
That's probably who I liked.
I never hit it.
That's who I liked.
Okay?
Secret out?
I'm being honest with you.
Who cares?
Doesn't matter what I think.
Doesn't matter if I endorse somebody.
Doesn't help anybody.
Who wants to be endorsed by me?
People will say, oh, you want to be endorsed?
Really?
They're going to say you're endorsed by the guy who plays Spot the Tranny with Gavin McGinnis?
Come on.
This is an entertainment program.
My sidekick is not Gay Jared.
You want us endorsing them for president?
But stranger things have happened.
You have Republican nominees talking about penis size.
Hillary Clinton killed a guy!
Allegedly.
So, there you go.
I've spoken my piece.
I just don't think it's very smart.
There's obviously the principle issue.
But aside from that, what has Donald Trump lied about?
Tweet me at S. Crowder.
You think I'm wrong?
I don't care.
If it's Donald Trump, will I vote?
No, probably not.
Send your letters.
Listen, let me give you your affiliates, okay?
Our wonderful affiliates, if you're not watching a letterwithcredit.com.
Of course, our headquarters, WAM in Detroit, WEZS New Hampshire, WGHC in northern Florida, Patriot Northern Michigan, KLID Missouri, Cone, Alaska.
Send your letters to them that you are so offended I made fun of your candidate that I must be taken off the air.
I'm going to do it anyway.
I just, I just, I don't care anymore.
This whole election, I'm at the point where I just, I, it doesn't, there's not enough contrast.
And the media loves it.
The media loves it.
I understand it.
Listen, is there a conspiracy that certain members of the media are out to get Trump?
No, I think people are people.
But I will say there is a hard and fast rule.
Not Gay Jared and I know this because we run ladderwithcrowder.com and this show with millions of readers and listeners on a monthly basis.
Trump is absolutely fantastic for ratings and for traffic.
You can double your traffic right now.
If you just title a piece, Trump Drops Epic Bombshell, It's a guarantee you'll do better.
It's a lot easier to sell outrage and offense and tell people they should be offended than it is to try and inform them on the issues.
I'm not saying every single Trump voter is uninformed.
I'm saying there are a lot of people of a vested interest in ratings and traffic to keep those steady.
Some of them are in dying mediums.
Trump is that last glimmer of light they see before their light goes out.
Look at the demographics of the conservative movement.
It is not good.
It's not pretty.
So they'll take every last viewer they can.
Stay tuned.
Jack!
Jack!
Don't leave me, Jack!
I'll always love you!
I'll always love you forever and always!
I'll never forget the time we spent!
I'll tell the whole world about you!
I've never loved anyone!
Oh, he's frozen!
Bye! Bye!
This is Breaking News on Lawler with Crawler.
I'm Perry Matheson.
We're taking you now to live audio feed of a chip that has been implanted in the Governor Chris Christie's brain.
Live now at a Donald Trump rally.
We're going to make America great again, folks.
We're going to make it great again.
And, you know, I watched Hillary...
I wonder why I have to be here.
My legs are tired.
So I've endorsed Trump.
That's happened now.
Another thing.
That's where I am.
How long am I going to keep this puppet stick up my ass?
For breaking news on Louder with Crowder, I'm Perry Matheson.
We'll be right back.
All right.
I do love that song.
I just really hurt my knee.
Can you believe that?
Jared and I were dancing in the studio.
I'm not supposed to move my knee at all.
It's in an immobilizer.
That was so worth it.
That song is sketchy.
And it hurts.
Like crazy.
I'm going to call it worth it.
I will speak on your behalf.
Oh, I bent it.
That was the first bend in my knee since Thursday.
And it was alarmingly painful.
Oh, so we are wrapping up this program here today.
Listen, I've had a lot of fun here.
I'm getting all these tweets from people, the ones they see anyway, of course, because Twitter is censoring everybody, asking me to do that endorsement, thinking, you know, your voice carries more weight than you think.
No, it really doesn't.
And let me tell you why.
Listen, here's the deal.
If it sounds like I'm pessimistic because I've given up on...
I've not given up, but if it sounds like I'm pessimistic because I'm not going to focus on the election so much, it's because there are winning issues.
There are big winning issues out there right now, and it's not the Republican-Democrat thing.
It really is about freedom versus authoritarianism.
We have it up on the site right now.
Somewhere here.
No, I don't have it up.
By the way, Casey, new writer at the site, fantastic.
Really, really good.
She's so young and she's just so...
Women, you know, she even asked me, can women be funny?
She's a new writer we have.
Of course, Courtney is on vacation.
Wonderful Courtney.
Well deserved.
Funny enough...
I mean, we have a pretty diverse crew of people who've come in.
Most of our writers, our co-writers, have been women at Louder with Crowder, or those who live alternative lifestyles.
And women, I find, are really funny, coming up in The Next Generation.
And I think what it is, is they just have a...
Now, I'm not talking about the Amy Schumer, Chelsea Handler, I'm such a whore!
You know, that whole bit where you have about 30 seconds on your stopwatch before they make a joke about being slutty.
Sarah Silverman, cop cops.
Yes.
And then they get really mad when you're like, oh, I'm such a dirty slut!
Oh, you're a dirty slut!
How dare you!
Not talking about that.
Courtney and Casey are very, very funny in their commentary.
And I think it's just because they've been so free to express their opinions in an open forum.
I don't think women tend to gravitate toward comedy clubs.
Every time I went to comedy clubs, it tended to be more men.
Whereas online, if you have a blog, you're going to have a perfect representation of the audience that you can find.
Well, that, I mean, we let them vote.
I think they've been getting better progressively at the voting.
At the voting.
And since we've been letting them speak...
More freely.
They've kind of gotten better at the speaking.
I would firmly disagree.
Can it get worse?
I don't know.
Okay, there we go.
I do have the story up right now.
Women...
I don't know if it's sweet.
It's one of these European...
A UK company.
Community Arts Group coexist.
Oh, but the C wants to call it the letters.
That's what they always forget.
Women are going to get sick leave for menstrual pain.
So it's not about equal pay for equal work, which they already have.
It's about more pay for three-quarters of the work.
Listen, women, I mean, how do we not see the irony now?
There was a Texas abortion deal.
One thing I was talking about I think is lost on so many women.
You know, the mantra from the leftists, from the Sandra Flukes, from the Sarah Silvermans, is abortion on demand, free, no exceptions.
That means taxpayer funded.
It's never actually free.
Right now, birth control is free.
Because they shouldn't be punished for sex.
Right.
They shouldn't be punished.
They should be punished.
Tell you what.
At one point, the Punisher was not an inappropriate nickname for myself.
It wasn't because I was fantastic.
I was so bad.
That's what was the, it was like, some people got put in the corner.
You go to that corner and you have sex with Steven for 20 minutes.
Oh, this is from your prison stint, right?
Yeah, this is from my prison stint.
Where Donald Trump might be going if the Trump U lawsuit sticks.
But a minimum security resort.
What were we talking about this?
We're talking about something.
Oh, the feminism.
Yeah.
If you demand that the taxpayer fund your sexual lifestyle, right?
You're demanding that I pay for your sexual lifestyle.
I pay for your birth control pills.
I pay for your abortions.
Guess what you've just made me?
Woman, I'm your pimp.
Pimpin' ain't easy!
Pimpin' ain't easy!
You think it's easy for you.
You've made the taxpayer your pimp.
And isn't it ironic that women are so weak, these feminists, they can't even afford their own birth control, and they're not even good-looking or charming enough to find a sugar daddy, they have to force an unwilling sugar daddy to fund their sexual lifestyle.
Not only are we pimps for these feminist floozies, we are unwilling pimps.
We are pimps who didn't walk in with a fur coat and a cane.
We walked in and they said, hey, here's a cane and a fur coat.
You're a pimp.
I don't want to be a pimp.
I go to church on Sundays.
Supreme Court voted you're a pimp.
It's kind of like a combination of a slave and a pimp at that point.
Yeah.
Wait, I'm a slave?
Yeah.
Because, I mean, it's not chosen.
They just vote and make you the pimp.
Yeah.
And so you're kind of the pimp, but you're slave pimps.
You're effectively slave pimp accountants.
For the sexual accoutrements of the feminists.
So this is just a perfect example with the women want to be paid and they want to be off.
Listen, if you're going to take a week off, that's fine.
You shouldn't get paid for it.
No man expects to get paid for it.
Let alone fact men have hormonal cycles too.
Right?
It's just a different method.
We have hormonal cycles.
You do.
Feminists can't even be expected to control their own bodily secretions.
That's your job to control them.
This is where we are, the United States of America.
At one point, people would have said, even Democrats, right, would have said, I know this is in the UK, but of course, what happens, it's coming here in a few weeks.
You want us to pay for your menstrual cramps?
Here's some Midol in a Hugh Jackman film.
Go.
Here's some dark chocolate from Trader Joe's.
Take care of yourself.
Be in the office all the early tomorrow morning.
That's what it used to be.
No one would have even considered this.
This is how far we've gone.
The pendulum has gone this far.
That's why I'm saying it may be more productive to just let leftists overpush, just let them push it a little bit further, and it's going to swing back.
Don't bring it to the center, because then you could lose it forever.
Light it with Crowder, here next week.
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