Sept. 22, 2019 - Know More News - Adam Green
05:25
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| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| A long time ago we arrived on this planet after a very long journey. | |
| Our ship was heavily damaged. | |
| But we were in luck. | |
| We had found a planet with air and water and life. | |
| My fool of a brother was in charge. | |
| He ordered us to try and make contact with the locals. | |
| I told him it was a mistake. | |
| Of course, I was proven right. | |
| We were the only intelligent creatures on the planet. | |
| It was ours. | |
| We studied the flora and fauna. | |
| While the others obsessed over big game. | |
| I focused on the small. | |
| A new order had arisen. | |
| The primates. | |
| Then I did something I knew my brother would never understand. | |
| I stole some of our precious value and gave it to my two favorites. | |
| Adam and Eve. | |
| I could have waited. | |
| Let's nature take its course. | |
| But why not give evolution a nudge? | |
| But I learned soon that the paradise was doomed. | |
| My brother ordered us to take our ship and move underground. | |
| You see, the Earth is hollow. | |
| Hey, fight! | |
| Oh, wait, this happened. | |
| Oh, wait, this happened. | |
| Well, it certainly has been an interesting last few millennia. | |
| With this whole infiltrate the upper echelon of human society and manipulate them into destroying each other. | |
| Yeah, we might have just gone a little heavy on the political realm. | |
| Pardon me, my dumb. | |
| But in my own defense, I was far in the way the first of us to swim those uh frigid waters. | |
| Mm-hmm. | |
| And we're all real proud of you, Caligula. | |
| But you went for a lack of a better word, insane. | |
| And we've all learned that humans really don't like their insanity being challenged, and then there was that little thing with your horse. | |
| We're just friends. | |
| Oh, my God! | |
| And little Stucky! | |
| You know? | |
| Who knew that social media was gonna work? | |
| That was brilliant. | |
| Everyone too wrapped up in cat videos and sending dick pics to procreate instead of think with their brains. | |
| Very nice. | |
| Sure helped with my case during the elections. | |
| And you two crazy kids with your crusades and your G hat or whatever you want to call it. | |
| Nothing like a little monteism to throw people into sanctuary battles over exactly same ideology. | |
| Oh, and don't even get me started on eighty. | |
| Eddie Hitler with the sextiness, help me! | |
| Now set up, you old drunk fool. | |
| Now set up, you old drunk fool. | |
| What about me? | |
| You managed to destroy all that human vermin, but you destroyed everything else along with them, madam president. | |
| Well total victory, all but a few stragglers. | |
| Gone. | |
| And now the planet is ours again. | |
| Yes, a beautiful, unlivable planet. | |
| Totally nuclear wasteland. | |
| Very good, Miss President. | |
| I will say something. | |
| Shut up. | |
| Perhaps I wasn't paying attention, but we still have our spaceship. | |
| Why can't we just take it and move to another planet? | |
| Space, Margaret. | |
| Space is huge. | |
| Where do you recommend we go? | |
| Second star to the right and then straight till the morning. | |
| You know how difficult it is to find a planet to live on? | |
| My brother created this pest. | |
| The humans. | |
| He will get punished as soon as I find him. | |
| But we really didn't have to leave. | |
| If you hadn't turned the surface into a radioactive mess. |
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