Moon Colonies Part 2 dissects Captain Randy Kramer’s bizarre claims—17 years on Mars as a genetically engineered "super soldier," soul juice extraction from kidnapped children, and unpaid Marine Corps service granting legal authority—while mocking his vague explanations like holographic medical beds and "rodent" rover sightings. Dan Friesen and Jordan Holmes critique the plausibility, shifting to listener calls: VoiceMan’s tattoo advice, Rashan’s Bohemian Grove comparisons, and Clay’s Stardew Valley recommendation. The episode ends with a playful apology for past mispredictions about Alex Jones’ finances, contrasting Hughes’ skeptical interview style with Project Camelot’s uncritical embrace of wild theories. [Automatically generated summary]
I was listening to music and then I came upon Seeger Rose once more and I was listening to the Sega Rose and I remember that the greatest concert that I've ever been to was when I was 18.
So we're going to get into this, but before we do, we've got to take a little moment to say thank you to folks who have signed up and are supporting the show.
If you, you know, if you don't, if you feel ungenerous and you, you know, maybe don't want to support the show, that's what you should do probably is write a poem.
It really does seem like it's a guy blowing an armadillo, and I've been staring at it for a while, trying to think of any other thing that it could be.
I was trying to come into this with no idea what I'm looking at because I want to consider this a possible candidate for us to look at and understand more about.
And first of all, I think this guy is incredibly charming.
Across the UK, across continental North America, and around the world, on the internet, by webcast and by podcast, my name is Howard Hughes, and this is the Return of the Unexplained.
Greetings from springtime in London.
And as I said those words, a little burst of sunshine came through my window, which is a bit of a rarity these days.
It's been like kind of mini winter for the last two weeks here, but nice to see that things may be moving in the right direction.
But I know some of you don't like me giving weather reports from London, so we won't dwell on that.
Actually, quite a few of you do, but that's a whole other topic.
I find it so charming that he opens the show talking about the weather and then gets self-conscious and he's like, Some of you don't like me talking about the weather, but you know what?
Randy, of course, is the guy who was fighting aliens on Mars and the moon and had the holographic med beds that he was trying to kickstart for a while.
So we'll get into some more of that, but that's who he is.
I believe our original episode of him was called like Mars Colonies, Mars Bases.
10 miles from the Great Pyramid of Cholula and 15 miles from the town of Atluxco.
He says, The reason I mentioned this is because ever since I moved here, 24 years ago, many people say there have been sightings of alien ships at these places.
I've been to all of them and I haven't seen any sightings.
It's plausible that aliens, if they exist, visit Papa Cata Petal and the Great Pyramid.
But Atlaxco, he says, all that town is known for is the meat market, the local ice cream of the garden centers.
Maybe they don't want those things.
Who knows?
Maybe there's a big shortage of ice cream on Alpha Santa Ri.
Mars is a place that we are actively making plans to visit.
There are private companies doing that.
There are plans by NASA and others to explore the Red Planet more and maybe to terraform Mars.
In other words, to turn it into an environment that you could live on, to be able to turn the red dust into something that you grow things on.
It's not science fiction anymore.
And it's all in the pipeline.
It's stuff that we dreamt about when we were kids and now seems to be coming for real.
It's becoming reality.
We're actually, a lot of us are going to live to see this.
But there's another perspective on all of this.
What if I told you that there are people who say that we have been to Mars, we're actively involved in Mars, and we have a team of people who are explorers of Mars already.
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I'm thinking about speak with Captain Randy Kramer.
Well, I guess if you're asking about my military background, I am literally born out of a project that was dreamt up in the mid-60s to augment and or create from scratch genetically augmented soldiers.
Well, we certainly at that time were cracking a number of different books and tables of information from extraterrestrial sources and extraterrestrial technology that was giving us jumps ahead of civilian technology and civilian research and development.
So the ability for the military to start doing genetic experiments ahead of what anything in the civilian world was was due to that, to advanced technology infused within those programs that gave us the leap ahead.
Once we had access to that technology, people wanted to figure out how to use it.
And so the first thing to do was try and figure out how to augment who you've already got.
And then we did enough tests with that and realized that it was minimally effective, that you really just had to do what some of the ETs were telling us that we needed to do who were working us, including scientists who were coming down working in our labs on the ground on terrestrial soil with us to advise us.
No, you really want to do this right.
You've got to start from the ground up and you've got to build the chain and build a map and start from the beginning and don't try and do it later on.
So if we've got this program where these youths are being created before birth to be able to use this tech, you know, it raises the question, when did Randy get involved?
If I were impersonating an officer, and I've spoken to my attorney about this, there are absolutely steps that would be taken by the FBI and by the Marine Corps to discuss with me about my fraudulently doing so and how I needed to cease and desist and do that.
So if they thought you were passing yourself off as Captain Randy Kramer of the Space Corps, they would close you down first.
Well, I'm saying is that if I were doing that fraudulently, the process that they would follow through on is to contact me and tell me to cease and desist and show proof, in which case then I would say, great, I'd love a hearing in a JAG officer.
And my lawyer has essentially assured me that I'm probably never going to hear from them because they never want to give me a hearing.
So this also really creates an interesting problem for me when Randy keeps talking because, you know, he's saying that I've talked to my lawyer about what would happen if I was faking all this and anyone cared.
So you're saying that they're letting you do this and they're letting you come on radio shows like this one because you're telling the truth.
But if you were telling the truth, wouldn't that be a reason to close you down?
Oh, I'll go a step further than that.
No, the command staff of United States Marine Corps Special Section decided that they needed a public spokesperson to act as their public relations officer.
And apparently there was a short list of which my name was put on.
And then when they went through that list, eventually it came up to me and then my brigadier general asked me very politely if I wanted to be the public spokesperson guy.
And first I was like, not really.
But he convinced me.
And I said, all right, fine.
And so, yeah, my commanders have absolutely authorized me through a number of legal parameters which exist in the United States Marine Corps Special Section Special Code of Conduct that go beyond giving me permission outside of security clearance.
There's actually a legal mandate for me to do what I'm doing.
There's two things happening there at the same time.
You're living a normal life, which you wake up every day and you perceive that you are going through normally.
And then usually at nighttime, when they decide to go take you away for training periods or educational missions or educational experiences, whatever the training is, which ends up being a number of years total worth of training because they start when you're a toddler.
Who are they?
Who are they?
That was a program that was run by a United States Marine Corps Special Section called Project Moonshadow.
So, yeah, he's got this whole situation where Randy's saying he's living a normal life, but then at night, sometimes they take you on training missions.
How would that, like, would they, they had to have known that they had like an artificial at the very least, did your parents have an artificial insemination?
Well, I always would wake up with memories of things that would happen in the middle of the night.
You would just wake up and sort of disassociate them thinking, wow, that was the strangest, longest dream ever.
Even though you had a dream that seemed to last days or weeks at a time and seemed to be very consistent and not have weird dreamlike qualities to it and have a very solid linear timeline to it other than that, you know, you wake up and there's sort of this when you're talking about how like brainwave act conscious brainwave activity works, when you move from data, sorry, delta theta wave sleep states and move up through what's called your alpha bridge into your beta states,
you often forget and disassociate what's happening in that theta or delta state.
So because primarily what you're being trained in is in a lower brainwave consciousness state, which is actually better for training than a high beta state.
You come out of sort of into your waking consciousness, you kind of shake it off and go, wow, that was a really weird long dream.
Even though nothing about it, if you were to sit down with a dream analyst at that age and talk to them, would really indicate that you were having a dream.
They would go, wow, that is the weirdest experience I've ever heard.
But you don't think that's old.
You just think, wow, that's the weirdest, longest dream ever.
And I learned after a few conversations with my parents, like, you know, waking up and sitting at the breakfast table and saying, wow, I had this weird dream last night.
Let me tell you about it.
And getting those disconcerted looks from your parents to know, I shouldn't bring this up again.
It sounds like a creative child having good dreams and maybe some kind of an inability to connect with parents around these dreams that leads them to creating alternative explanations for why they're having what I hear, what I hear so simply could be boiled down.
But there are just these concrete issues, like the question of if you're doing all this shit and being trained as a fucking Mars super soldier space person, how did your parents not notice?
So your parents, they must have been aware of this, or they must have made a fuss about it.
If you were disappearing for periods going to get training and you weren't with them, presumably, surely, I mean, some of this doesn't, I have to say, some of this is difficult to take in.
Well, okay, or I guess we're missing an important thing.
Which is that again because we're talking about programs that are using reversed and or handed down technology from extraterrestrials, their ability to do things like hover over your house with a spaceship, you know, and pick you up,
and or project a wormhole into your bedroom and pick you up, and or take you to a location for training and use time travel to take you back so that you're actually that is really hard to read.
So this next clip is where I kind of got a sense of like, aha, call me Hercule Poirot because I've solved this mystery.
Okay.
This is where it's like, ah, this is the clue that unravels, I would say, a more Earth-based solution and resolution to what was going on with his childhood dreams.
I want to add this one thing because I think it's kind of important.
My mother is actually a very metaphysically psionically sensitive person.
What is that?
And I will say that she has always had insomnia and is one of those people that I think she was aware that something was going on and it was one of the reasons why she was always had horrible insomnia and was always terrified that someone was coming to take her children away.
So on some level, your mom knew about this on some level.
On an intuitive level, I think she did.
And it created a lot of the panic and anxiety she had around sleep issues and around the house being broken into at night and so forth, which there was no evidence that that was happening.
But I think she was intuitively tuned into it and was very panicky.
So I would say that there are, you know, like there's an explanation, and that is that he was part, he was a super soldier who was bred to fight wars against aliens on Mars for years and then became a young person again by way of being re-injected into his clone five minutes after he left when he was 17.
That's one explanation.
Another explanation is that these paranoias and panicky fears about losing her children were sort of projected onto her child.
His mother has this preoccupation and the child wants to create a way to explain away those fears and anxieties in a way that's helpful, that's productive.
That's not like, hey, there is someone coming to take me.
No, there are people taking me, but they're taking me to be a hero.
That man, this did he was like, does he do this with all of his guests?
Does he kind of like Currently, I feel like he's lulling him into the sense of like accidentally he's revealing the center of all the problems, and Howard is just going to like allow that to exist in the space.
I do think that Howard is making fun of him by the end of it.
Okay.
But I think that's fair.
Well, it's one of those things that, like, this is an interesting style of way to talk to people who are making extravagant claims, which is to have some pushback, but not so much that you're being a dick to them because they are your guest.
Whereas the way that, like Project Camelot and a lot of these other places, the way that they show these people is in such an unquestioning, or if there is questioning, it's questioning in the wrong direction.
I have to tell, from your texts and tweets, not all of you are buying into this necessarily.
Randy, you must get a lot of opposition from people who simply don't believe it.
To be honest, not nearly as much as you might think.
I mean, there are certainly the number of unranked civilian influences who want to have their opinion about it, but when it comes to my interactions with my local politicians, elected representatives, local law enforcement, other professional persons, agencies, military personnel, NASA engineers, a whole list of very, very professional, credentialed people.
It's never even a question.
They don't bat an eyelash with me.
They all talk to me very professionally and are very interested in what I've done and what I'm doing.
We have a character on radio here called Captain Cremon, who is a bit of a wacky cartoon space explorer created by a disc jockey on radio who's a really creative guy called Kenny Everett.
Julie has tweeted just to say this is more Captain Cremon than Captain Kramer.
So Howard has another interesting line of questioning that begins basically that if you're a kid and someone's trying to kidnap you, you might fight them off or you might not want to go along with them.
The point is that you were being taken away by various craft and various means.
Now, if I was being taken away, especially when I was younger, I'd kick against it.
You know, if I didn't realize why it was all being done entirely, I would say, please don't take me away.
Sure.
What about you?
Well, in the very beginning, as a kid, you're certainly given childlike explanations for what you're doing and where you're going and what the training's for.
And so basically, you got, you know, an adult standing there, you know, you want to shoot ray guns and fight space monsters, don't you?
And you're all like, yeah, I want to shoot ray guns and fight space monsters.
yeah i find this very weird um and i i just can't for uh i i don't know man I can't imagine the government has a giant secrets super soldier program that's predicated on successfully kidnapping children to train them.
So Randy is being like, hey, you know, like they come up and they say you want to shoot lasers and fight aliens, but like, you know, it doesn't matter.
I was genetically built to say yes to this kind of thing.
It's a skill that is completely under my control and completely in my grasp and has its own safety protocols to keep me from killing innocent people and so forth.
We have to create a scenario where there's a parkour contest against like, I don't know, Tony Ja or someone who's like a really high professional parkour person.
Super soldier, you need whatever it is that's causing him and his body to respond to threats the way it is could be artificially recreated and he could jump over a building.
So we know from listening to Randy on Project Camelot that after his tour of service was done, he was age regressed, which is to say that the government had an exact perfect clone of him at the age that he left.
So you spent all those long periods, but because they're able, they've got back-engineered technology, presumably, that allows them to compress time, you are not like 60 or 70 years of age now, which you would have to be if you'd served all of those periods.
See, now here's the funny part, right?
Is because of their ability.
Okay, so they call it age-reversing, but it's not really age-reversing.
At the end of your 20-year tour, they take you back to LOC, which is Luna Operations Command on the Moon, and they say, okay, we're going to, you know, wipe out your memory from all the traumatic, secure things that you don't want to remember anyway.
And we're going to send you back in a young do basically hatch you out a new clone body that's the same age when they took you away.
And they, and I know this is going to sound weird to some people again, but high advanced alien technology has, and science has gotten us to understand that the human soul is a quantum fluid and can be removed and pumped out of the body, put into another container, and held and or put back into another vessel or another body.
And so through a mechanism which I was not conscious for, obviously, and I do not recall or do not know how it works, other than they're able to remove the soul from that body, put it into this younger clone body that's the same age when you left, repress all your memories, and then put you back and you essentially wake up, you know, 15 minutes after you left from a 20-year tour.
If this was in a theater and the two of them were talking on stage and he had just said that and then just the pause, I would have stood up and slow clapped my balls off.
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That would have been me just standing up and be like.
There aren't a lot of people because most of them, their memories have been repressed very, very quickly, either badly or well.
And so sometimes their brains end up being more Swiss cheese and oatmeal.
And it's hard for them to bring memories to a cohesive state.
I talk to people all the time who are in the process of unfolding their traumatic memory experiences and are constantly asking me for advice on how to remember things more clearly and how to get their memories back and how to deal with the trauma and so forth.
And so there's a lot of people who are.
I will just be honest and tell you that most of them, quite simply, have no desire to be an out-in-front public person.
They don't want to be targeted.
They do not want to be, you know, get any hassle from anybody because most of them have not been given permission by command officers.
You must forgive that.
A lot of people would find it strange that you are the main person authorized, you say, to be doing the speaking about this.
If there are so many people who go through that experience, and if you're in contact with them here on Earth.
Now, I would suggest that if we take Randy at face value, what he is describing is there is a government program that makes super soldiers, kidnaps them from their parents without anyone's consent in order to train them up through their dreams and other things.
Then has them fight battles against aliens for 20 years or whatever.
Yeah, and then takes the soul juice and puts it back in a younger clone body, wipes all their memories, which leaves many of them with brains like Swiss cheese or oatmeal in terrible pain, not remembering any of this, feeling crazy for the rest of their lives.
I was just sitting there thinking, just like, what is it?
Randy, I'm sorry, but your previous Brigadier General was fired because he hired you as our PR guy, and you just gave us PR as scrambling people's brains, maybe on purpose?
The fleet that Naval Space Command sort of runs for the planet is divided into two fleets in the same way that here in America we have a Pacific fleet and Atlantic fleet to separate ships and guard sort of two different coastal ports.
Up policing of the solar system, it's easier to sort of divide it in an imaginary line down the middle of it and have a fleet on the one side and another fleet on the other side.
So you have the equipment.
They're called Solar Warden and Radiant Guardian.
Now, each fleet decided that they needed to have a spokesperson and that they would pick a spokesperson and each of those spokespersons would come out about the same time.
Which one are you the spokesperson?
I am the spokesperson for Radiant Guardian.
The other spokesperson for Solar Warden is a gentleman by the name of Corey Good.
Well, Earth Defense Force, Naval Space Command, and this other sort of loose international group of military persons who sort of conglomerate together to make up the fleet.
So participating countries have officers and pilots and so forth that they contribute to the larger program, and then those people are distributed throughout the fleet in various missions and persons.
So this is real-life Star Trek then?
It's the Federation.
Pretty much.
I mean, except that if you want to get real mommy, get all nerdy about it.
The Federation's mission was very diplomatic and peaceful and was non-military.
And we definitely have a military mission because we consider the military protection of the solar system to be absolutely necessary given the tangible threats that we have to deal with, which again aren't so horrible that we can't deal with them, but there is a list of tangible threats that we have to deal with.
So the tangible threats aren't really that bad, and yet we use it as a justification to kidnap children and then leave them with their brains fried afterwards.
Now, one of our listeners, Hedi, who is a scientist and is a regular contributor to this show, says, prolonged exposure to 17 years or whatever of Martian gravity would cause massive bone deterioration.
How did you avoid that?
Well, I hate this amazing medical technology that was used on us all the time because we were in the field engaging in regular combat, and I've had my arms and my legs blown off so many times I can't even count.
And they essentially use what we call a holographic regenerating medical bed technology, which uses a projected hologram at a cellular level to convince your body to regrow and damaged and ripped off limbs.
So here we get a little bit more information about these med beds because, you know, they've been brought up a bit, but the actual mechanics of it have always been that I hope this clip answers.
A hologram that has a resolution at the cellular level that projects of a perfect image of your body that restores damaged tissue and/or at the end of a severed limb will fool that cellular tissue to keep going.
Because the only thing that stops your tissue from growing when you've blown off a limb is it reaches, oh, there's nothing here to keep going to.
But if you convince it by having a hologram at a cellular level that it goes, oh, I can just keep growing.
You essentially fool your body that it can just keep growing and you can regrow an entire limb.
So this lingering question that I think is really important, I didn't really get a real sense of in the other interview I heard of his is like, what's your job?
My regular job is as an independent field commander of United States Marine Corps Special Section.
So under that series of duties is three main things right now that I have to deal with, which is criminal investigation, research and development, and public relations.
So the research.
Yes.
I have a couple of very, I'm just going to call them strange X-File type cases that have been given for me to deal with that involve criminal activity of a very unusual nature, which I'm really, because it's an open criminal case, I can't really say anything more about it.
But yeah, those are probably, that's my top priority, to be honest with you right now.
I'm responsible for dealing with all of my own resources and so forth.
How do you live?
How do you make ends meet, as we say here?
How do you pay for your food, your accommodation, all the rest of it?
There are some wonderful people who have been wonderful and helped me out when I've needed it.
I do teach a psionics class, and every once in a while when I do one of those, I get a marginal fee for teaching a class.
I get teeny keys for public speaking, which doesn't amount to anything.
But to be honest, it's some really wonderful people who have picked up the slack and said, you know, we want to help you and have, you know, taken care of that for me.
But I know it's not called this, but why aren't the Star Corps paying you?
Oh, that is actually a more complicated legal reason.
Being activated under the independent field commander clauses, I actually have a greater legal authority to do the things that I need to do as an independent field commander, not getting a paycheck than I would getting a paycheck, which would actually limit what I can do.
Without a much more complicated legal discussion of that, it's a very specific legal parameter on being independent versus being completely dependent on them.
Do you often get asked the question I've just asked you about how do you pay for all this?
An organization that has no problem genetically creating children, secretly implanting them into host bodies, then stealing them when they are four, I don't understand why they're real hung up on the payment part.
And that's why you have the extra strength, then, presumably.
Well, I mean, first of all, we're there in an augmented powered body armor environment suit.
So not only do you have the ability to sort of jump higher and throw things farther, you're in a powered body armor, so you can even jump higher and farther and throw things farther.
So it's a little crazy.
But you're not allowed to bring that back with you.
Everyone who's in the Space Weirdo interviewing community, whether consciously or instinctively, knows what questions not to ask because he's really thrown off by a lot of these very, very simple questions.
If I had been on Mars and you asked me what's it like on Mars, that's such an open question that it might take a second to be like, well, the gravity is different.
While I was on the Nautilus, I was very, very, very, very fortunate on a number of missions to the Intergalactic Space Station, not the International Space Station, the Intergalactic Space Station that rotates around Jupiter, which is a meeting place for a number of species from all over the place.
We meet there.
Other people meet there to have some really fascinating discussions, mostly diplomatic arrangements, contract negotiations, etc., treaty negotiations.
And on a number of occasions, I was tag-along, basically, as one of the only officers, flight officers with hand-to-hand combat experience.
I was a Just-in-Case, even though there was never a Just-in-Case.
Was always very peaceful arrangements, but they wanted one guy who could stab somebody in the eye with their thumb if they needed to, and that was me.
So I got to go along.
I got to sit at many different tables across from many different species while senior officers were having many different discussions, initial negotiations, contract negotiations, treaty negotiations, first contact meetings.
Well, that must mean if there's other alien races coming to this space station for a negotiation, that must mean that we are already in a universal government.
I mean, you know, who are the most interesting and the ones that you like?
Or do you like them all?
You know, as a person who has always been very sort of like science-motivated, I mean, I was a nerdy science kid, you know, from the get-go.
And so I was always fascinated and interested, no matter what, no matter what they looked like, no matter where they were from, no matter what their behavior was, I was always fascinated and interested to understand what in the world it was like.
So there's another issue that comes up here, and I think this is another really important point that a good, well, at least a decent interviewer would ask that never comes up in other places like Project Camelot.
And that is like, okay, you were on Mars.
You're doing all this shit on Mars.
We just had a rover go there, and we saw pictures of Mars.
It doesn't look like anything like what you're talking about.
But I don't think that this is necessarily a good option for us to cover for the reason that I kind of laid out earlier, which is he asks follow-up questions and presents this guy who we've seen on Project Cam a lot in a light that the audience can then make up their mind.
It's an even greater question just because if you're taking that into just terrestrial life, can you imagine a journalist talking to somebody at the fucking UN being like, hey, who's your favorites?
I am a longtime listener, a second-time caller, because I freaked out and hung up a second ago.
So I'm sorry about that.
But I just wanted to call, and first I'll say that I really enjoy the podcast.
I think that What Y'all Do is very important as far as shining a light on the way that conspiracy culture kind of exists and how it propagates in America.
And I think that What Y'all Do really is important as far as showing people how these extreme views and conspiracy views, how they can be birthed, how they can continue, how they propagate and perpetuate from one person to the next.
I think that's marvelous.
Alex used to be a very different person back when I first encountered him.
I remember watching that documentary, Secret Rules of the World, the Bohemian Grove episode, where Alex goes to Bohemian Grove with DBC reporter, or he's an English journalist, John Ronson.
So you have Alex's documentary, Dark Secrets Inside Bohemian Grove, which is still on YouTube.
That was actually filmed at the exact same time as John Ronson's Secret Rules of the World episode, which is also on YouTube.
And it's just remarkable to look at the difference between how Ronson reports Alex's daring raid, so to speak, and how Alex reports it.
That could be a fun Wacky Wednesday thing for y'all to do where you watch both and just compare them.
I don't know if it has a lot of replay value for me, but when I got it, I actually deep in our Twitter feed, you can find I was posting screenshots of the game because I named all my animals after Infowars people.
I just wanted to say that a couple of months ago, maybe, maybe sooner than that, you had been developing a narrative that Alex's show would have run out of money by now.
And that didn't happen, and I'm mad at you, and I'm disappointed that I deserve an apology.
You know, there was a situation where Alex was behaving in ways that were very consistent and very repetitively talking about how they were going out of business.
He was being very blunt and direct.
I can only express this as the person listening to it.
It's very difficult for me to recreate that on the show.
But the way that I was bringing it up repeatedly was reflecting how repeatedly he was bringing it up.
Yeah, and I appreciate the call out on this, and I accept that criticism that maybe we allowed ourselves to buy into that a little more than we should have.
But there is also a decent chance that he was in terrible financial straits, and some things were able to fix that.
I don't know how much, you know, I certainly wasn't guaranteeing all of this, but there were things that were happening also that were sort of heightening that possibility.
Yeah, and then there was the situation with his bankruptcy hearing, which, granted, did not end up bankrupting him, but his wife was suing him for involuntary bankruptcy that could have ended up costing him like three quarters of a million dollars.
But at the same time, I have no problem with recognizing that in that excitement, we can look back on it and be like, hey, we got carried away a little bit with what could be fantasy booking Alex's bankruptcy.