Today, Dan and Jordan ease back into the recording with a bit of a wacky Infowars outing. In this installment, Owen Shroyer found a replica WWE championship belt and decides to hold an office-wide push-up contest, which of course Alex has to derail.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| It's time to pray. | ||
| I have great respect for knowledge fight. | ||
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys, saying we are the bad guys. | ||
| Knowledge fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dan and George. | |
| Knowledge fight. | ||
| Need money. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| Andy in Kansas. | ||
| It's time to pray. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
KnowledgeFight. | |
| KnowledgeFight.com. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey, everybody. | ||
| Welcome back to KnowledgeFight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Jordan. | |
| We're a couple dudes who like to sit around, drink novelty beverages, and talk just a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Oh, indeed we are. | ||
| Dan. | ||
| Jordan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dan! | |
| Jordan. | ||
| Quick question for you. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What's your bright spot today, buddy? | ||
| Here's my bright spot. | ||
| I am moved into this new apartment. | ||
| I know! | ||
| That I am madly in love with. | ||
| I mean, it's too early to say really to get overcommitted, but I really like this place. | ||
| And the move was smooth. | ||
| I'd like to thank everybody out there who sent such kind wishes of a smooth move and a painless transition. | ||
| Appreciate it very much. | ||
| But that's not my bright spot. | ||
| What's your bright spot? | ||
| My bright spot is I have finally got something in this apartment that I have been... | ||
| Unknowingly looking for for my whole life that is a signifier of adulthood. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| A junk drawer. | ||
| A junk drawer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You do not have a junk drawer. | ||
| I've never had a junk drawer. | ||
| I've never in the past had a junk drawer. | ||
| What have you put in your junk drawer so far? | ||
| I have all sorts of stuff. | ||
| We're talking about some aluminum foil. | ||
| We're talking about plastic wrap. | ||
| We're talking about socket wrenches. | ||
| Useful. | ||
| We're talking about a screwdriver. | ||
| Wait, you're not using aluminum foils in your... | ||
| Your junk drawer? | ||
| Aluminum foil is a daily use, man. | ||
| It's the extra one for once I run out of this one. | ||
| See, now you've sold me. | ||
| Two old cell phones that are completely dead. | ||
| Those are in the junk drawer. | ||
| That I just can't throw away. | ||
| A couple of rocks from back when I had a jeweled rock phase. | ||
| Yeah, good rocks. | ||
| Energy rocks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Powerful rocks. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| A deck of playing cards. | ||
| Always got to be in a junk drawer. | ||
| There's always a playing card somewhere. | ||
| When I lived in all these other places, I didn't have enough drawers to actually have a dedicated place. | ||
| So I'd kind of just put stuff in a box and toss it in a closet. | ||
| And I didn't realize how much it would be gratifying to just have a drawer that I pull out. | ||
| I was like, well, that's got all my junk in it. | ||
| And it is something that I associate with being an adult. | ||
| It's something that every grown-up house has. | ||
| My parents were against clutter and everything, but they absolutely had a junk drawer in pretty much every house. | ||
| I didn't realize that. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I now feel complete. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, you're welcome to the club of colonialists, I guess. | |
| Thanks. | ||
| How about you? | ||
| What's your bright spot? | ||
| My bright spot, Dan, is... | ||
| Well, actually, this is... | ||
| I was going to have a different bright spot, but I got to ride the train over here, Dan, and I haven't ridden the train in such a long time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been at your old place. | ||
| I could walk to it. | ||
| Yeah, it was pretty close. | ||
| We're a little bit further apart now. | ||
| A little bit further apart, and it's just... | ||
| It's so normal. | ||
| It's so gratifying. | ||
| I used to ride the train every single day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every single day. | ||
| It still requires a bit of safety on your part, but yeah, I'm glad you can do that. | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| Experience the wobble wobble, the L. Ooh, I love the L. Yeah, I hated it when I first moved here. | ||
| I was really scared it was going to derail every time I rode it. | ||
| It probably took like four years for me to get comfortable with it. | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| Yeah, and part of that was that when I first moved here, all of my jobs were downtown. | ||
| I lived in Lakeview, and for those of you who aren't in Chicago... | ||
| There's an express bus that runs on Lakeshore Drive from Lakeview to downtown that takes like five minutes to get there. | ||
| So I never had to take the L. I could always just take that to work. | ||
| And the only times I would need to take it were for like going to shows and stuff. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And I'd be drunk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That'll smooth things over. | ||
| We're going down! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This brown line is going to crash right into that. | ||
| That's odd. | ||
| The very first time that I took the L, I was 17. We were up here for a New Year's Eve celebration. | ||
| And on the way back, somebody very, very drunkenly threw up on another guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And then... | ||
| So you were on the red line. | ||
| No, it was actually the green line. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| All the way out. | ||
| Vomiting is such a red line. | ||
| And the guy in the car up ahead of us. | ||
| Got stabbed! | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa! | |
| So yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
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That's nuts. | |
| And that was my first experience. | ||
| Love it. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a place of wonder and excitement for a small town kid. | |
| You know what the weird twist for me is a little bit? | ||
| What? | ||
| I actually really enjoyed the L the first time I took it. | ||
| Because I came up here with a then-girlfriend to go to a mutual friend of ours' wedding in Chicago. | ||
| And it was the first time I'd come, and we took the L around, and I had none of those fears. | ||
| There was something about, like, I live here now. | ||
| That made it scary to me, whereas if I was visiting, it was like, eh, no big deal. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just a poor boy from Missouri, coming up to the big city! | |
| It's all an exciting adventure. | ||
| Yeah, my brain dealt with it differently. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Well, congratulations on coming back to the train. | ||
| Yes, the mundanity of life. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, Jordan, today we've got an interesting thing to go over. | ||
| It's not an episode of Alex's show. | ||
| Because I should tell you, this isn't helping the rumors that I am Alex Jones, and by extension, I'm also Bill Hicks, but the entire time that I've been moving, Alex has been out of studio. | ||
| Again. | ||
| This is a disturbing pattern. | ||
| This really is a disturbing pattern. | ||
| This has been regular. | ||
| It seems to happen more than I'm comfortable with. | ||
| Anytime you're like, I think I'm going to take some time off, Alex is like... | ||
| Well, I mean, I gotta take a vacation, too, now. | ||
| Nobody's listening anymore. | ||
| I put him on Time Out a couple months back, and then he was out of studio. | ||
| That was super weird. | ||
| And then, yeah, now, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, all was Owen Troyer hosting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| And then, today, as we're recording on Thursday, David Knight was hosting. | ||
| And so, like, we have no Alex to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what I decided I wanted to do was because, you know, it's the first episode we're recording in this new apartment, I was like... | ||
| Alright, I can take back that whole thing about not doing Project Camelot episodes. | ||
| I was like, come on, Carrie, save me. | ||
| And I went to her YouTube channel and she's already switched to the paywall. | ||
| So there's no new episodes on there. | ||
| Like I said, I'm going to respect her paywall and intellectual property. | ||
| So I was like, alright, fuck yeah, Jim Baker. | ||
| Jim Baker's our boy. | ||
| He's AWOL too, isn't he? | ||
| News just broke that he's getting sued by another state attorney general. | ||
| But he's been gone from his own show for the last God knows how long. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| So I was like, I'm back to the wall. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| And actually, this is a good time for a shout-out. | ||
| I'd like to give a shout-out to Danny, who wrote me a message on Facebook and alerted me to something that happened. | ||
| And it is definitely worth our time. | ||
| So that's what we'll be talking about today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| He watches some of the other shows, like, let's say, The War Room. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And so knows some things that happened that would slip past my eye. | ||
| And this is one such thing that is definitely... | ||
| All right. | ||
| So we're going to be talking about what happened on June 12th on The War Room. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| And don't worry. | ||
| It's real stupid. | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| So, before we get into that, Jordan, though, we've got to take a moment to say thank you to some folks who have signed up and are supporting the show. | ||
| So, first, got to say thank you to Carl in Pennsylvania. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, Carl! | |
| Next, this is a person who owns the cutest dogs in the world. | ||
| I guarantee that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No competition. | ||
| Thank you so much, Molly. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you, Molly. | ||
| Thanks, Molly! | ||
| Next, Gabriel Kay. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thanks, Gabriel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Next, Louie or Lewis. | ||
| I'm entirely sure it could be either. | ||
| M, last initial. | ||
| Thank you, Louie M. You're now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thanks, Louie or Lewis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Lufa Sniffer. | ||
| It ends in an A-H instead of an E-R. | ||
| Someone who smells lufas. | ||
| That sounds like it. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you very much, Lufa Sniffer. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Next, Chris G. Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thanks, Chris. | ||
| And then, this is clever. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You are now a technocrat. | ||
| You are now a policy wonk. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You son of a bitch! | |
| Clever. | ||
| I have to tip my cap. | ||
| That's very clever. | ||
| That's well done. | ||
| I'd also like to say thank you to somebody who donated on Elevated Level. | ||
| Appreciate that very much. | ||
| So Kevin R., thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a technocrat. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Crikey, mate. | ||
| That's fantastic. | ||
| Have yourself a brew. | ||
| How's your 401k doing, bro? | ||
| All right, we got to go full tilt boogie on this, Watson, all right? | ||
| Let's just get down to business. | ||
| We ain't making that money off that heroin. | ||
| Why are you pimps so good? | ||
| My neck is freakishly large. | ||
| I declare Infowar on you. | ||
| Thank you so much, Kevin R. Yes, thank you very much, Kevin. | ||
| And finally, I'd like to say thank you to somebody who went just above and beyond. | ||
| And so we're going to bat for the cycle in terms of drops today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| And so I'd like to say thank you to Industrial Robot. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You are now a raptor princess. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four stars. | |
| Go home to your mother and tell her you're brilliant. | ||
| I'll barbecue your ass. | ||
| It's over for humanity. | ||
| Your beautiful soul, they're coming for your balls. | ||
| Well, I piss all over your gun. | ||
| Very few people crap in the pool unless they're babies. | ||
| I piss all over the state. | ||
| Make it a practice of calling people pieces of garbage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When they are. | |
| Comet! | ||
| As you see fit. | ||
| Thank you so much, Industrial Robot. | ||
| Yes, thank you very much, Industrial Robot. | ||
| If you're out there listening and you're thinking, hey, I enjoyed this show, I'd like to support what these gents do, you can do that by going to our website, knowledgefight.com, clicking the button that says support the show. | ||
| We would appreciate it. | ||
| Yes, we would like it very much. | ||
| Or you can take that generosity. | ||
| Pay it forward? | ||
| Sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| Take it to a charity, a bail fund. | ||
| Did you see in my eyes that I was... | ||
| You were scrambling. | ||
| Struggling to go. | ||
| The wheels were turning. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know what was happening? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| The word papier-mâché was in my head. | ||
| Oh, that'll do it. | ||
| I didn't know how to make it work for a... | ||
| Make a papier-mâché something and then send it to a charity? | ||
| That's how most people feel about papier-mâché in general. | ||
| Nobody knows how to make it work. | ||
| That shit's alchemy. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| So, we'll get down to business on this episode. | ||
| But first, Jordan, we've got to check in with the year of the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seltzer! | |
| Alright. | ||
| So, we've hit the ground running in this new apartment. | ||
| New apartment. | ||
| We are now... | ||
| 600 seltzers. | ||
| One day. | ||
| No. 128 seltzers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| And what I did is I wandered around to a couple of the corner stores around here, get acquainted with the neighborhood, check things out, and I managed to find a place that had the San Pellegrino Essenza Lucy's, single cans. | ||
| Because I don't want to buy a full box of them. | ||
| They're too expensive, and I might not like them. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| I can't take that kind of risk. | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| So this is a Pellegrino line of sparkling waters. | ||
| And I gotta say, they all knocked it out of the fucking park. | ||
| All good. | ||
| They're all very good. | ||
| All very good. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| I have tried three of them so far. | ||
| And we got one that is the Blood Orange and Black Raspberry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Coming in at a 78. 78 is good. | ||
| That is very good. | ||
| That's high praise. | ||
| We got Lemon Zest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| It's actually, I think the name is Lemon and Lemon Zest, which is redundant. | ||
| But it's very good. | ||
| That is also a 78. Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And then the third one was Tangerine and Wild Strawberry. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| 79. 79. Just a little better than the other two. | ||
| Neck and neck all across the board. | ||
| But I didn't feel like it broached the 80 point. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure. | ||
| So those three I recommend very highly. | ||
| And then also I wanted to say this, just a little special note. | ||
| So I went and I got this brand Pure Aqua, P-U-R, right? | ||
| It's a white grape flavor. | ||
| Why are we turning conspiratorial? | ||
| What tone is going on right here? | ||
| It's apologetic almost. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's apologetic? | |
| It's a 50 out of 100. | ||
| It's a 50 out of 100. | ||
| But I want to make clear that I really like white grape. | ||
| Are you apologizing to white grape, the flavor, and not pure? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Almost on behalf of pure, you are apologizing to white grape for fucking it up. | ||
| I'm apologizing, yes, to the institution that is white grape flavored things. | ||
| Because I think it's a good flavor. | ||
| I don't generally like regular grape. | ||
| But I do enjoy a sparkling white grape thing or something like that. | ||
| Isn't that just a regular grape that's peeled? | ||
| That doesn't have the peels in it? | ||
| Incorrect. | ||
| Okay, whatever. | ||
| I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm not sure, but there is a different flavor to it. | ||
| And maybe there's not, and I'm just stupid. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I have a long history of liking white grape things, and that one was not good. | ||
| Poorly executed. | ||
| My apologies to white grapes. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Our condolences. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, Jordan, we're going to start our observation and investigation here, actually, on June 11th. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because Owen makes an announcement on the 11th that will have implications for the 12th. | ||
| If we're not removing a goddamn computer chip from somebody by the end of this year, I am burning this new apartment to the ground. | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| Because that isn't going to happen, and I don't want my house to burn down again. | ||
| Not this house. | ||
| Anyway, here's another context drop from today's show. | ||
| Yes, I did just leg drop Alex Jones from the top of the news desk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| Okay. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| So, that gives you some idea of where we're going. | ||
| The top of the news desk? | ||
| That's not that high. | ||
| It's not nothing, though. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| So, here we're going to start on the 11th with Owen making a big announcement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| What you see here in front of me is... | ||
| The Super Alpha Male Championship belt. | ||
| The Super Alpha Male, the InfoWars Super Alpha Male Championship belt that I now present here on the desk. | ||
| So, Owen has a WWE belt. | ||
|
unidentified
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He has a championship belt. | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| So, there's something important I need to point out about this belt that Owen has for the Alpha Male Championship. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| It's actually a Dairy Queen crown? | ||
| I wish. | ||
| The belt that they're using is not a generic wrestling championship belt. | ||
| It is a replica of a WWE belt, but it's also a very specific belt. | ||
| Fans have been pretty vocal in their displeasure with some of the WWE's new belts, particularly after the brand split, where WWE started running two shows weekly as separate products with separate rosters. | ||
| Each show, Raw and SmackDown, have their own championship belts, which follow a branding scheme for each show. | ||
| The belts on Raw are generally red, and the ones on SmackDown are generally blue, to fit the marketing. | ||
| The belt Owen has on his desk is from SmackDown. | ||
| But it's also one of the tag team championship belts. | ||
| The design of the men's solo belt belonging to the Universal Champion is very different from the tag team straps, so this whole sketch Owen is setting up makes less sense than it already did. | ||
| There should be a second belt. | ||
| It's a tag team belt. | ||
| For some reason, I'm relieved because I really thought we were going to find out that Owen had chosen a specifically racist wrestling belt of some sort. | ||
| Like, the history goes all the way back to the beginnings of segregated WWE wrestling. | ||
| Like, that's what I was expecting. | ||
| But just that it's a tag team belt, that's a little bit of a drop. | ||
| It's a little bit of a letdown for me. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Oh no, are we going to find out this is the racist belt? | ||
| God damn it, Dan! | ||
| The current SmackDown Tag Team Champions are the New Day, one of the most important black groups in WWE history. | ||
| They started out as a horribly conceived gospel choir-themed team. | ||
| It's the trio of Big E, Xavier Woods, and Kofi Kingston. | ||
| They eventually took the gimmick into their own hands, and they really got creative with what they're doing. | ||
| They're currently one of the few groups in the WWE who actually seem to be having a great time together. | ||
| Their gimmick is now impossible to really explain, but it involves unicorns, torso thrusting, Xavier Woods playing a trombone, cosplaying, throwing pancakes at people, and having their own cereal called Booty O's. | ||
| Oh, so they have a good time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay, well that's great. | ||
| And they clearly have quite a large amount of control over the things they do. | ||
| Wonderful. | ||
| Xavier Woods named his trombone Francesca and it became a character. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So they hold the record for the longest reign in history as WWE Tag Team champs and are a sure shot for the Hall of Fame. | ||
| Kofi Kingston, born in Ghana, is the first African-born wrestler to ever be world champ, winning the belt in a fantastic match at WrestleMania 35. In the lead-up to the match, Big E and Xavier had to win a gauntlet match in order to get Kofi into the championship fight, and despite some clunkiness, it was all a great story of friends who actually have each other's backs and want to see each other succeed. | ||
| Whereas so many other WWE tag teams are just a preamble before one member turns on the other to set up a hot feud, the New Day have been pretty adamant that they are never going to break up. | ||
| Big E put it this way. | ||
| Quote, I'm not saying that Kofi doesn't get a world title reign without the New Day, but you don't get that same moment of brotherhood, that same story of two guys who've been able to go through the gauntlet to get their brother his title match. | ||
| All the things we've been able to do the last couple of years, that is unique and special. | ||
| You don't get any of those moments. | ||
| We listen to people that say, actually, you should turn heel, or it's my time, I should really make this time about me. | ||
| That's not something that even remotely interests us. | ||
| In 2018, Xavier Woods said, quote, I don't remember a group in wrestling that hasn't turned on itself or they'll turn, then they come back to being a group again. | ||
| New Day, I'm telling you this right now, New Day will never turn. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| And that's because we have zero desire to ever do that. | ||
| I have zero desire to go to work and not work with my friends. | ||
| He went on to say, quote, we will all retire before we turn. | ||
| That's a legitimate answer. | ||
| That's not some, oh, he's saying that because it's happening. | ||
| No, my government name is Austin Watson. | ||
| Austin Watson is telling you that this is the truth. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| They love each other. | ||
| It's pretty clear that they are really good friends. | ||
| They really enjoy what they're doing. | ||
| They're allowed to express a creativity that branches into some of their nerdier interests. | ||
| Xavier Woods is super into video games, and he started the show called Up, Up, Down, Down, where him and other wrestlers play video game competitions against each other. | ||
| Sure, of course. | ||
| And it's spiraled into massive popularity. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| And so it's just a really great... | ||
| They're a really great team. | ||
| Charming, talented, cool, fun, great, and enjoying every moment of their lives. | ||
| Wonderful. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The New Day is a really great story of three friends doing something great together in a shitty company full of horribly sexist and racist tendencies. | ||
| If I had to guess, I would bet that Owen has no idea that the belt that he's using as a prop, what it is, or how it's a tag team belt that he's trying to use for individual competition, or even who the rightful owners of the belt are. | ||
| It's just interesting to me how it's the worst possible belt they could have chosen to use, seeing as they're an explicitly white identity-themed broadcast. | ||
| That's where I thought we were going. | ||
| That's where I thought we were going. | ||
| So I think about this a little bit, and I realize AJ Styles is currently the Intercontinental Champion, and that dude is probably an InfoWars fan. | ||
| Okay, alright. | ||
| In 2019, he went on Steven Crowder's show, and the title of that video is, quote, WWE's AJ Styles Debunks Toxic Masculinity. | ||
| Seems like they should have just used his belt. | ||
| Are you sure it wasn't titled Performs Toxic Masculinity? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Or they could have used the Universal Championship belt, currently held by the monster among men, Braun Strowman. | ||
| Braun seemed like a really likable guy for a while, but back in March he took to the internet to shit on out-of-work wrestlers who were having trouble paying their bills because most wrestling events were cancelled after the coronavirus. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| Yeah, those are both individual belts held by dudes who probably think Alex might be onto something. | ||
| The only downside is that the Universal Champion and the Intercontinental Champion are way too close to one world champion. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| That's a little globalist. | ||
| That is a little globalisty. | ||
| Anyway, this choice of prop is stupid just because it's a tag team belt, but it's also disrespectful to the New Day, who Alex almost certainly thinks are heels because they're not white. | ||
| Well, yeah, that would be the only explanation there. | ||
| It's just bizarre to me, the layers of what you could maybe think is accidental, circumstantial... | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Fuck up there. | ||
| Of course it's going to have some sort of connotation that he's not even aware of. | ||
| Nothing they touch does not wither with racism. | ||
| Like, everything around them. | ||
| It's like if King Midas was a horrible racist. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure that... | ||
| I'm not sure of this, but I would strongly suspect that what happened is that they had an idea for this bit, and they just got whatever belt, and it just turns out that's the worst belt you could... | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| Could have chosen any of the other ones. | ||
| Any belts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| So in this next clip, Owen talks about what the plan is here. | ||
| Here's what's going to happen tomorrow in the final segment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm putting everyone here on blast. | |
| I was going to be nice, and I wasn't going to do this, but the crew wanted to razz me a little bit. | ||
| So here's the deal. | ||
| Tomorrow, the first ever InfoWars super alpha male champion. | ||
| Brought to you by Super Male Vitality and Alpha Power at Infowarsstore.com. | ||
| The first ever Super Alpha Male Champion will be crowned tomorrow in the last segment, and we're going to be having a push-up competition. | ||
| And I was going to be nice to everybody, but you wanted to razz me, so I'll go ahead and say it. | ||
| I'm going to kick all your asses. | ||
| I don't know how they got that sponsorship deal. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| You're telling me Super Male Vitality is sponsoring this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's wild. | |
| Somehow. | ||
| They're usually really picky with what they sponsor. | ||
| ABC just greenlit this show for 100 episodes. | ||
| If celebrities did push-up contests, they would sell unbelievable ad dollars. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| So in this next clip, Owen is trying to cut a promo. | ||
| Because they're trying to ape the WWE. | ||
| Yeah, obviously. | ||
| They're trying to do wrestling shit. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure. | ||
| And so Owen is trying to cut a promo about how he's going to win. | ||
| Can you imagine Rachel Maddow just... | ||
| All of a sudden doing this on her show. | ||
| Just like, why not? | ||
| I imagine she might do it better. | ||
| Putin and I are going to have a push-up contest and whoever wins gets to run MSNBC for another year. | ||
| I don't know how this works. | ||
| In other news, the Kremlin owns MSNBC. | ||
| Have you seen that dude shirtless on a horse? | ||
| He can do a shit ton of push-ups. | ||
| I would assume so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| So here Owen is cutting a promo, and I have a probably way too long response to this. | ||
| I'll be surprised if anybody here in this building can even do half the push-ups I can do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've had some people float Darren McBreen's name around. | |
| He's old. | ||
| He's washed up. | ||
| No. | ||
| Some people said maybe Rob back there can do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Too much hair. | |
| Heavy. | ||
| Weighs him down. | ||
| The charisma of this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's some ladies back here that are pretty lightweight. | |
| They think, oh, they're like light as a feather. | ||
| They can do push-ups all day. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, folks. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| So here is what will be my belt in 24 hours. | ||
| This is a tragic approximation of a guy trying to cut a wrestling promo. | ||
| Yeah, this is not good. | ||
| Because Owen isn't saying shit. | ||
| He's just saying that he's better at push-ups than the people in the office. | ||
| Like, Darren McBreen is too old, Rob Dew's hair is too heavy, and an unnamed woman in the office, they're light, but they can't top him. | ||
| The thing is that there's nothing here to sink your teeth into. | ||
| There's no passion behind this, nor is there any focus, which are key for wrestling promos to work. | ||
| One of the greatest promos in WWF history was from King of the Ring 1996, after Stone Cold Steve Austin had just defeated Jake the Snake to win the King of the Ring tournament. | ||
| Let's listen to this promo, and then I'm going to lay out the ways in which this promo is successful, and Owens is not. | ||
| This is just a backdoor to force you to... | ||
| Alex, get back in studio! | ||
| Alex, get back in studio! | ||
| I never thought I'd say that! | ||
|
unidentified
|
The first thing I want me done is to get that piece of crap out of my ring! | |
| Don't just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF! | ||
| Because I've proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore. | ||
| You sit there, and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere. | ||
| Talk about your Psalms. | ||
| Talk about John 3.16. | ||
| Austin 3.16 says, I just whipped your ass. | ||
| All he's got to do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to dig back something that courage he had in his pride. | ||
| As the king of the ring, I'm serving notice to every one of the WWF superstars. | ||
| I don't give a damn what they are. | ||
| They're all on the list, and that's Stone Cold's list, and I'm fixing to start running through all of them. | ||
| All right, Stone Cold Steve Austin. | ||
| And his remarks? | ||
| 1996, WWF King of the Ring. | ||
| As far as this championship match is considered, son, I don't give a damn if it's Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels. | ||
| Steve Austin's time has come. | ||
| And when I get the shot, you're looking at the next WWF champion. | ||
| And that's the bottom line. | ||
| Because Stone Cold said so. | ||
| So then his music hits. | ||
| At the beginning there, Stone Cold begins by trashing Jake the Snake, because he's saying he's washed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That's kind of a better version of Owen just saying that Darren McBreen is old, because Stone Cold adds layers to the words that he's saying to impart meaning. | ||
| Jake the Snake was a really religious character, so Stone Cold used that to create his Austin 316 catchphrase. | ||
| Jake was a recovering alcoholic, so he brought up the idea of a bottle of Thunderbird, giving him back his confidence that he'd lost. | ||
| These are ways of saying that your opponent is old and washed up without saying something so boring as just, you're old. | ||
| That makes the promo compelling, because Stone Cold is painting a picture with words instead of just saying them. | ||
| After trashing his fallen opponents, Stone Cold serves notice to the wide array of wrestlers he's getting ready to beat up later. | ||
| This is how you do it when your goal is to pump yourself up against a non-specific opponent. | ||
| Since Stone Cold doesn't know who he's fighting next at this point, this isn't anything other than just self-aggrandizing. | ||
| I'm better than everyone, kind of thing. | ||
| You notice how he doesn't say, like, Davey Boy Smith, he's old. | ||
| John Michael's hair weighs too much. | ||
| No, he doesn't waste his time on boring insults, choosing instead to make passing reference to them while focusing on how he's the best and his time has come. | ||
| That would have been great if Stone Cold was like, and a lot of people think that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a woman in the back who doesn't weigh as much as me who can do this, and that ain't the truth! | |
| She's light. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'm better. | |
| I'm better! | ||
| So, in wrestling promos, you really only want to talk about shit about somebody else if they're your opponent. | ||
| Otherwise, things get a little bit confusing. | ||
| Promos are supposed to supplement existing storylines. | ||
| In the case of Stone Cold, he'd just won the King of the Ring tournament and was getting a title shot, so it makes sense for him to shit on the guy he just beat and let everyone know that it's his time and no one else can beat him moving forward. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| The flip side of this kind of promo is best exemplified by what I would call my favorite promo of all time, the Hard Times promo, delivered by Dusty Rhodes back in 1985. | ||
| At the time, Dusty had just returned from an injury he'd suffered at the hands of Ric Flair. | ||
| He was finally getting a chance for payback, so the promo is specifically targeted at Ric Flair. | ||
| Let's listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is Ken Burns, Zoom Wrestling. | |
| I would like to thank the many, many fans throughout this country that wrote cards and letters to Dusty Rose, the American Dream, while I was down. | ||
| Secondly, I want to thank Jim Crockett Promotions for waiting and taking the time because I know how important it was. | ||
| Starcade 85, it is to the resident fans, it is to Jim Crockett Promotions. | ||
| And Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, with that weight, got what I wanted. | ||
| Ric Flair, the world's heavyweight champion. | ||
| I don't have to say a lot more about the way I feel about Ric Flair. | ||
| No respect. | ||
| No honor. | ||
| There is no honor among thieves in the first place. | ||
| He put hard times on Dusty Rhodes and his family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't know what hard times are, daddy. | |
| Hard times are when the textile workers around this country are out of work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They got four or five kids and can't pay their wages, can't buy their food. | |
| Hard times are when the auto workers are out of work and they tell them go home. | ||
| And hard times are when a man has worked at a job 30 years. | ||
| 30 years. | ||
| They give him a watch, kick him in the butt, and say, hey, a computer. | ||
| Took your place, Daddy. | ||
| That's hard time. | ||
| That's hard time. | ||
| And Ric Flair, you put hard times on this country by taking Dusty Rhodes out. | ||
| That's hard time. | ||
| And we all had hard times together. | ||
| I admit, I don't look like the athlete of the day. | ||
| Supposed to look. | ||
| My belly's just a little big. | ||
| My heart is just a little big. | ||
| But, brother, I am bad, and they know I'm bad. | ||
| And there were two bad people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One was John Wayne and he's dead, brother. | |
| Nature Boy Ric Flair. | ||
| The world's heavyweight title belongs to these people. | ||
| I'm going to reach out right now. | ||
| I want you at home to know my hand is touching your hand for this gathering of the biggest body of people in this country, in this universe, all over the world. | ||
| Now, reach it out. | ||
| because the love that was given me and this time I will repay you now because I will be the next world's heavyweight champion on this hard time blues Dusty Rhodes Tour 885 and Ric Flair Nature Boy let me leave you with this One way to hurt Ric Flair | ||
|
unidentified
|
is to take what he cherishes more than anything in the world. | |
| That's the world's heavyweight title. | ||
| I'm going to take it. | ||
| I've been there twice. | ||
| This time when I take it, Daddy, I'm going to take it for you. | ||
| Let's gather for it. | ||
| Don't let me down now, because I came back for you, for that man up there that died. | ||
| Jen, 12 years ago, I never got the opportunity to see a real Wolf champion. | ||
| I'm proud of you and thank God I have you. | ||
| And I love you. | ||
| Love you! | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Just amazing. | ||
| Wasn't that the transcript of Obama's 2004 DNC address? | ||
| Wasn't that the keynote there? | ||
| I'm pretty sure that's the one that kind of vaulted it. | ||
| George W. Bush put us in hot times, daddy! | ||
| But even if you're not a wrestling fan, you can recognize the brilliance of something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was fantastic. | |
| Come on. | ||
| There's creativity. | ||
| Union organizing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Well, I mean, part of Dusty Rhodes' big gimmick was the common man. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure. | ||
| And so he's a little plumber's son. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| That kind of thing. | ||
| So everyone knows that Owen and Alex are going to be arguing over this stupid belt. | ||
| So it makes no sense that Owen didn't just cut a promo on Alex the way that Dusty did on Ric Flair. | ||
| No one thinks that the payoff of this is going to be like, Daria's gonna get her ass kicked. | ||
| I have bad news about the payoff of this. | ||
| But anyway, what works so well about the Hard Times promo is that it elevates what's at stake about the Dusty Rhodes-Rick Flair fight. | ||
| It's not just about who's champ, it's about Rick Flair injuring Dusty and Dusty coming back because he loves the fans. | ||
| He connects with the audience and makes the viewer feel invested in him winning. | ||
| He brings pathos to the feud by comparing his being injured and unable to work to the everyday person out there who got laid off or worked 30 years and got a watch. | ||
| He's making himself someone that the audience can project their own feelings onto and relate to. | ||
| You want to root for Dusty and watch him beat up Ric Flair because he's elevated this into himself being a stand-in for you or someone you know fighting against the cruel faceless business that exploits us all as represented by Ric Flair. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| It's a very simple thing, masterfully executed. | ||
| Within a matter of a couple minutes, you have just amazing storytelling. | ||
| It's fantastic. | ||
| Compare that to what Owen's doing. | ||
| He's just saying he can do a lot of push-ups. | ||
| So what? | ||
| There are tons of examples of wrestlers who do cocky gimmicks. | ||
| The whole thing is that they're cocky. | ||
| But they're usually the villains. | ||
| And the whole point of their act is to play up the annoying characteristics of a cocky asshole. | ||
| So you, as the viewer, really want to see the guy you don't like get beaten up. | ||
| So we're like ravishing Rick Rude. | ||
| He was obsessed with his body. | ||
| Ted DiBiase always bragged about being a millionaire. | ||
| These were things that they played up to make it more satisfying to see them get their comeuppance. | ||
| In terms of being a cocky heel, Owen's even failing. | ||
| The other thing that Dusty does amazingly well is that he never says that Ric Flair sucks. | ||
| This is so important in good wrestling promos because if your whole argument is that your opponent sucks, you've ruined the idea of the fight. | ||
| If you're saying your opponent sucks and then you win, so what? | ||
| You've beat someone who sucks. | ||
| If you lose, then you just lost to someone who sucks. | ||
| It's not a good way to build towards a fight. | ||
| And good practitioners are able to put themselves over and simultaneously put over their opponent. | ||
| They're like, hey, you know what? | ||
| You're really good, but I'm better. | ||
| That kind of thing is essential. | ||
| Why? | ||
| What are the stakes here? | ||
| Because Owen fails to even do this, he's basically setting up a boring-as-hell push-up contest. | ||
| All of his opponents are trash, so why do this? | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna do twice as many push-ups as the other people in my office. | ||
| It is a lame thing to do. | ||
| Even if you're not on a radio show. | ||
| It's pretty lame. | ||
| Yeah, if you're just in a regular office and you're like, hey man, I bet I could do a bunch more push-ups than everybody, everybody would be like, fuck off, you suck. | ||
| And if you're in a radio show, that's a million times worse. | ||
| It's clearly a situation where they're like, let's do a play on wrestling. | ||
| Let's do a play on the WWE. | ||
| And they just didn't think through any of the ways they could make it good. | ||
| Well, you would have to think it through. | ||
| It's shockingly embarrassing. | ||
| You'd have to start with work, and they don't do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| Some people, maybe even you, Jordan, are thinking that this has gone on too long, and they're probably right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I only wanted to lay all this out because this is one of the parts of wrestling that I like the most, the storytelling aspect of it. | ||
| There are little nuances to how really good wrestlers tell a story through the build of their fights that people often don't understand at all. | ||
| People just think that wrestling is people fake punching each other and then occasionally yelling into microphones, and that's pretty unfair. | ||
| Also, I'm making a big point about this because it's clearly a planned bit. | ||
| They have a replica belt just for this segment. | ||
| Owen is announcing that a champ is going to be crowned a day in advance. | ||
| InfoWars has every opportunity to prepare and actually try to do something decent here, and this is what they come up with. | ||
| They're trying to ape the style of an art form they don't understand and have no respect for, and it just comes off really embarrassing. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It came off great. | ||
| He's a brilliant broadcaster. | ||
| Everybody can listen to that clip of him challenging the people in his office to a push-up contest and think, this guy... | ||
| Has it? | ||
| I don't know what it is, but he's got it. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| I think that probably there's a recognition or some kind of a feeling that a lot of people in Alex's audience might be wrestling fans, but if they are, I don't think they would enjoy that. | ||
| Owen lazily insulting people that he's going to have a push-up contest with. | ||
| They just think, oh, we got this prop. | ||
| That's good enough. | ||
| Job done. | ||
| Nothing is worse than a corporate entity taking over and just... | ||
| Not plagiarizing. | ||
| Patronizing. | ||
| Just such a disrespect for you. | ||
| If you like wrestling here, you'll like this shit. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| You're not even good, not even trying, not even nothing. | ||
| It's just the approximation of slop on your fucking plate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bastards. | ||
| Yeah, it's tough. | ||
| How dare they? | ||
| So Owen ends this announcement by bringing in Darren McBreen, who he just insults about how he has a bad back. | ||
| Again, not to belabor the point, but what do you prove by beating someone with a bad back in a push-up contest? | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| No, it makes him less of an alpha male? | ||
| This is debunking toxic masculinity right here. | ||
| That guy has a bad back, and so he sucks. | ||
| He's not going to be a male anymore. | ||
| If you have a bad back, you'll never be a man. | ||
| Let's consult AJ Styles on this. | ||
| I mean, what you end up with, let's imagine that it comes down to Darren McBreen versus Owen Troyer, and then Darren wins, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or let's say that Owen wins, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Darren McBreen could be like, yeah, you beat me, but you only did because I have a bad back. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Where do we get? | ||
| We don't get anywhere good. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| Although that would be great if this was Darren McBreen's flu game. | ||
| This is his Michael Jordan game where it's like he just comes from behind out of nowhere, starts dropping push-ups left and right. | ||
| I don't think McBreen has it in him. | ||
| Flying through the center. | ||
| Just, oh man. | ||
| Michael Jordan, he is not. | ||
| So McBreen just keeps saying at the end of this, he's just like, I want you! | ||
| Which is uninspired and boring, but at least it's not destructive to the concept of the competition they're trying to build towards. | ||
| The June 12th episode of The War Room opens up with Owen in a t-shirt and the replica belt on the desk next to him. | ||
| I'm noticing that Infowars is getting super into props lately. | ||
| You know, you had the skull, chess set, and rose thing, and then you had Alex's attempt to rile people up with the Robert E. Lee statue, and now there's this belt. | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| Comes off as a little desperate. | ||
| Hey, everybody loves props. | ||
| That's why the most famous comics in the world, Prop Comics Dan. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also, this is the other thing that I think is really fucked up. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| The big logo that's on the screen behind Owen says War Room Raw on it. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| That's the sort of shit that would definitely get them sued if the owners of the WWE weren't huge Trump supporters. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
War Room Raw. | |
| If Linda McMahon wasn't the Small Business Administration president for Trump, then I think that they could probably get... | ||
| And I think, as I understand, the WWE likes to sue people. | ||
| See, now, here's my biggest issue with this whole thing, alright? | ||
| Do you realize how infuriatingly close to a palindrome War Room Raw is? | ||
| Yeah, it is really close. | ||
| War Room Raw. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It is so infuriating to me how they could do that. | ||
| That fucks with my brain. | ||
| Like, now that I know that it's almost a palindrome, it makes me so angry. | ||
| I'm shivering with just like, FIX IT! | ||
| You would have had real trouble with Raw is War. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's, you know, Raw and War. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Is is not flippable. | ||
| No, it's not flippable. | ||
| Raw EC War. | ||
| It's very difficult for me to handle. | ||
| That is tough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also tough. | ||
| It's like a slant rhyme. | ||
| It's like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Get a job. | ||
| You know what else is tough? | ||
| What? | ||
| Listening to Owen's show. | ||
| Yeah, I believe that. | ||
| I listen to Alex Jones every day, and I almost always find something interesting enough to rebut or discuss on our show. | ||
| With The War Room, it's a show that's almost unfathomable that it exists. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| Owen's just covering the same talking points as Alex, but he doesn't pretend he's a psychic or throw in any other insane bullshit that Alex does to make the show interesting. | ||
| I don't care about anything Owen covers on the show, but I did cut out this one clip from when he was taking calls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got some tips for people if you want to try and get in the hospital, because I've been in the hospital the entire time. | |
| My wife has been in critical condition. | ||
| Yeah, we got 20 seconds. | ||
| All right, well, make yourself a directive, an advanced directive, and if they're incapacitated, you are the person that makes medical decisions for them, and you have to be legally allowed into the hospital. | ||
| All right, so there you go, folks. | ||
| A little insight there. | ||
| Also, a taser, maybe some brass knuckles. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've heard maybe some lead as well, but I've heard that. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not saying that works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not sure. | |
| That was shocking even to me. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| Yeah, that was a mess. | ||
| Did he just shoot your way into a hospital? | ||
| That is what he was saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| With a taser and brass knuckles. | ||
| He's playfully suggesting that listeners should basically have a lay siege on a hospital for some reason. | ||
| That would normally be a pretty dumb thing, but in the climate we're in today, this is incredibly dangerous. | ||
| We talked about it on a recent episode, but there appears to currently be a little bit of an uptick in people trying to attack hospitals, whether it's because of the added impact it would give their political message or because they believe the virus is a hoax and that hospitals are in on it. | ||
| Anybody who would play into this the way Owen is doing right there is trying to get more attacks to happen. | ||
| There's just no other excuse for that kind of comment other than the idea that you want your audience to hurt medical professionals. | ||
| I've been spending a lot of time on the wrestling aspect of this show, but it's important to remember that Owen is a huge piece of shit, and this show is just as extreme and awful as Alex's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's still stochastic terrorism with a push-up contest. | |
| Well, right. | ||
| This episode is largely about this push-up contest and how poorly set up it was, poorly conceived, poorly executed. | ||
| Right, but it's important to recognize that there's content like that, too. | ||
| This is not just some show where they're doing dumb bullshit. | ||
| Although it is that also. | ||
| That's important to remember. | ||
| Yeah, this... | ||
| The juxtaposition of them is so... | ||
| Fucking insane to me. | ||
| We're having a stupid push-up content. | ||
| Like, this would be like if a Japanese game show, like a Wipeout also had, like, Nazi propaganda on it. | ||
| Like, it's just, oh, man, look at this guy toss out there. | ||
| Oh, and hey, everybody, by the way, it's a good idea to continue eradicating the Jews. | ||
| All right, next mode. | ||
| Next guy up to the thing, he's gonna, oh, he gets hit by the spinning things. | ||
| It'd be like Red Ice if they broadcast from a Dunkin' Booth. | ||
| That'd be the very popular dunking movie. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| So Owen tries to get through his show, and he gets to maybe about like an hour and ten into the show, and the push-up contest is not really broached at all. | ||
| And he's just wearing a stupid shirt. | ||
| Well, it's just a t-shirt. | ||
| It's just a t-shirt. | ||
| Yeah, it's nothing special. | ||
| He couldn't even wear a tank top? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Get into it, man. | ||
| Get those guns out. | ||
| Get into it. | ||
| So at this point, Owen is taking phone calls from listeners who are stupid, and... | ||
| You know what's going to happen. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The mainstream media is dividing America by design. | ||
|
unidentified
|
110%. | |
| Hey! | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| I thought you were in a lot of pain from a tooth extraction. | ||
| You've got youth privilege. | ||
| You've got youth privilege. | ||
| You think you win this? | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to win that belt, Alex. | |
| Nobody here can do as many push-ups. | ||
| I've decided... | ||
| Yeah, that's why you do this whole contest. | ||
| You can be the winner. | ||
| I've decided because... | ||
| Well, first off, I'm already sold. | ||
| Just because you're young? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's the ref? | |
| Alright, somebody put this on me. | ||
| I want to be the winner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's the ref? | |
| Alex is probably pretty drunk. | ||
| It's Drunk Santa! | ||
| Come to play with the push-up toys! | ||
| Hey, it's the belt! | ||
| I want the belt. | ||
| Alex really wants the belt, but he also can't put it on. | ||
| He can't figure out how to put the belt on. | ||
| Put it on my deck. | ||
| It's around his waist, and he's trying to latch the buttons on the back. | ||
| Sure he is. | ||
| And so he's like, someone come put this belt on me. | ||
| Someone help me out. | ||
| I'm the champion, because I haven't done anything. | ||
| So he's basically a Morton Joe from Mad Max at this point. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So Alex wants the belt. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Owen doesn't even stand up. | ||
| Just why would you? | ||
| I'm the winner, not you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you have to do the most push-ups, Alex. | |
| I don't need to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is by fiat. | |
| You're like Joe Biden. | ||
| You're trying to steal a belt. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You're trying to steal a belt right now. | ||
| You're like a Democrat. | ||
| Disallowed. | ||
| You won a mail-in championship. | ||
| You've got to do at least one push-up. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's down! | ||
| He's down! | ||
| Jones is down! | ||
| So the guy who's saying disallowed there, it's some Infowars intern who put on a ref shirt. | ||
| Sure, sure, sure. | ||
| And he's come out to give some structure to the bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Alex can't handle formalities, so what he ends up doing, all that noise you hear is he fakes trying to attack the ref. | ||
| He goes up to him, puts his hands on the ref, and then immediately explodes backwards and falls over. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| It's just an embarrassing, silly, poorly executed pratfall. | ||
| All that scuffing you hear, there's no actual fighting. | ||
| It's just Alex touching the ref and then falling backwards over dramatically. | ||
| And I gotta say, right off the bat, this bit is not going well. | ||
| No, I'm not a fan so far. | ||
| So far it sounds like a bunch of assholes on a YouTube clip that nobody should have watched in the first place. | ||
| Alex wants that belt, though. | ||
| He feels like he deserves the belt. | ||
| I don't think anybody really cares about the belt anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on, is the championship belt preserved? | |
| What is going on here? | ||
| Super Alpha Male Championship belt is being absconded right now. | ||
| Alex Jones is absconding with the belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's now running out of the studio. | |
| He's now absconded with the Super Alpha Male Championship belt, folks. | ||
| This whole thing has now been stolen by the Democrats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So just like everything else, they just steal everything. | |
| You are wearing blue. | ||
| You might as well be a Democrat right now. | ||
| So, in that clip, Owen, as he's narrating this, Alex runs off with the belt, being chased by the ref. | ||
| Presumably, this chase should continue through the offices or out to the loading dock, but instead, Alex hears Owen say, steal and Democrat, and he can't resist yelling, mail and ballot! | ||
| Having broken the seal, he decides to casually walk back to Owen's desk with the belt, and then he proceeds to try to put the belt on his head, like it's a crown, which he has trouble doing because it's a belt. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is a disaster. | ||
| This is like an elementary school... | ||
| Informative play that they do to teach you about the dangers of smoking and they'll do a nice little fun skit about it. | ||
| There'll be a whole sketch and even a third grader is like, this is fucking lame, dude. | ||
| Yeah, I was in one back when I was in junior high. | ||
| I was in a fire prevention skit that we toured the elementary school. | ||
| Gotta tour it, yeah. | ||
| It was based in Winnie the Pooh. | ||
| I wanted to be Eeyore because I was very depressed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And monotone and feel like it would work. | ||
| I was Winnie the Pooh. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| It was not a good casting. | ||
| It would have been worse for me to be Tigger. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But Winnie the Pooh was... | ||
| I mean, I did get a decent old bother. | ||
| I was alright. | ||
| It was one of those weird things. | ||
| I was in junior high. | ||
| I thought acting was a path I was going to go down. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| And even at that point, looking back, I can remember... | ||
| The kids were not interested in what we were doing. | ||
| Like, I could tell that we were... | ||
| You weren't winning them over. | ||
| No. | ||
| But to be fair, I mean, it was a skit about Winnie the Pooh shit that was written by, like, junior high kids. | ||
| Yeah, you weren't at the Globe, okay? | ||
| You're fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is a skit that's mostly being improvised by a bunch of idiots. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hope. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they planned this, it's even worse. | ||
| I think this is their... | ||
| I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that this is just Alex is drunk and he's bum-rushed Owen's show. | ||
| That makes more sense than anything else. | ||
| So, Alex, like I said, he's trying to put this belt on his head, and he's struggling with that. | ||
| See, now, that's a sentence that you and I just take for granted. | ||
| We're talking about a nationally syndicated radio show who's trying to put a belt on his head and struggling with it. | ||
| And we're just like, of course. | ||
| National radio host who heads of state listen to. | ||
| Yes, yes, of course. | ||
| And brief the Secret Service about... | ||
| Everybody needs to have fun. | ||
| Everybody needs to have fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think it would even fit around your head, Alex. | |
| Can I put this on my head, please? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think it's going to fit. | |
| You've got to go get your Corona crown for that. | ||
| It's my Corona mask, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| It does double as a Corona mask. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| And it also can be used as a weapon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care who does it with push-ups. | |
| It's a social justice word. | ||
| It's mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but you're not a minority. | |
| You can't even play that card. | ||
| Baldy fat dudes are a minority at this office. | ||
| Actually, maybe at the office, but in America, you're in the majority. | ||
| It's mine. | ||
| It's mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| You guys are great. | ||
| The hallmark of any great comedy bit is just adding in racism that's completely unrelated. | ||
| Halfway through, just being like, oh, you're not black. | ||
| Yeah, it's an Infowars classic. | ||
| Yeah, good work, guys. | ||
| You have this situation where Alex is trying to put the belt on his head. | ||
| It's not working. | ||
| And so he sort of loses track of it, and it slides down into it in front of his face. | ||
| And so they're riffing about it being a corona mask. | ||
| It's very sad. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Nothing's working. | ||
| It's low energy. | ||
| It's like Alex is trying to bring some chaos into this and make it interesting, but it's just not. | ||
| This is a two-man improv scene. | ||
| Okay, hi, welcome to this bus. | ||
| I'm the bus driver. | ||
| How are you today? | ||
| No, it's not a bus. | ||
| It's a hospital and I'm a doctor. | ||
| Get on the operating table. | ||
| So what you're describing is good, well done improv. | ||
| Great improv. | ||
| So Alex still can't get the buttons to work, and he decides... | ||
| To deem the belt racist. | ||
| We're still doing this. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| We're doing this for a while. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you're in the majority now. | |
| It's racist. | ||
| These buttons won't do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, they were probably made in China. | |
| Hell, where'd you get this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Actually, I don't know. | |
| Here, you put it together for me. | ||
| You crown me or you're racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me see this here. | |
| Get on your knees right now. | ||
| Get on your knees and then crown you. | ||
| Do you recognize that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm trying to see where this thing was made. | |
| Come on, put it together! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alex, I'm not putting this on you. | |
| It is going to feel nice, though. | ||
| You're not getting... | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I'm legitimately holding this in about an hour. | |
| I mean, you can see this progressing quite well. | ||
| They've just decided that this belt must be made in China. | ||
| It might be, but I tried to look it up, and I know that the toy belts, the ones for kids, they're made by Mattel. | ||
| I don't know about the adult ones, because this is a pretty serious belt. | ||
| This is like the normal size. | ||
| Those are fucking heavy, too, by the way. | ||
| It's a replica, yeah. | ||
| So I don't know where those are made. | ||
| It very well could be in China, but I would expect, like, Owen is looking at the inside of the belt, and I know that there is a little tag inside there, a little label. | ||
| And if he'd seen Made in China, he probably would have said, aha, Made in China. | ||
| So I would assume that maybe it's not. | ||
| Isn't that a nice little microcosm? | ||
| Isn't that a nice little synecdoche of their lack of curiosity being the center of all of their fucking racism? | ||
| Why would you assume the answer to your question is directly in front of you? | ||
| Just notice it. | ||
| Or ask yourself a question and then look for the answer instead of just being like, fuck it, Made in China, don't care. | ||
| Well, they don't even do that. | ||
| And that's also another really interesting thing that goes back to improv, basically. | ||
| It's unwise for you to speculate that this is made in China because there's only two possible outcomes. | ||
| One, you're right, and it's a coincidence. | ||
| Or you're wrong, and then you have revealed that you assume anything you don't like is made in China. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| From a game theory standpoint, it's not a winning strategy. | ||
| No, what you want to do is give yourself as few possibilities as you can. | ||
| Make sure you put yourself in a tunnel and back yourself into a corner. | ||
| And that will lead you to where InfoWars is, which is a very successful place. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, Alex still can't get this on. | ||
| This is going on for a while. | ||
| So now he puts it back on his head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| That identifies Queen Elizabeth. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Ah, Batman, I'll defeat you. | ||
| Ah. | ||
| You've turned it into a face mask now. | ||
| Mommy. | ||
| Why is Santa fucking the tree? | ||
| Yeah, I could see that. | ||
| See, you have turned into a Democrat. | ||
| I don't know what happened to you. | ||
| You converted into a Democrat. | ||
| You're kind of dancing like the Democrats, too. | ||
| What has happened to you? | ||
| Did you? | ||
| No chops there. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| So I think that Alex might watch wrestling because the dancing that he does there that Owen says is dancing like a Democrat... | ||
| It's very similar to the signature dance that Big E does. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| So, you know, it's possible that Alex, his only dance move is like a sensual torso thrust. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That could be a coincidence, totally. | ||
| But it also could imply that he's a closet wrestling boy, and he doesn't want to admit it. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah, maybe this is his belt. | ||
| Maybe he brought it from home. | ||
| So yeah, I'm torn on that, because the torso thrust is kind of... | ||
| A bland, generic dance move, but it is also what Big E does, and they make a big deal out of it. | ||
| It's a thing where other wrestlers will join in the dance with them, doing their torso thrusts. | ||
| It's kind of a trademark of the New Day. | ||
| Well, Owen's response suggests that he has not seen Alex dance in any fashion. | ||
| No. | ||
| Or knows anything about the New Day dance. | ||
| Or knows anything about dancing, period. | ||
| I don't think he's... | ||
| You dance like a Democrat? | ||
| What does that even mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Now I need to analyze that sentence. | ||
| That just washed over me like that was fine. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| I think it doesn't mean anything. | ||
| I think it's just an insult. | ||
| I think it's just an insult meaning nothing. | ||
| I mean, I imagine that there's some sort of homophobia behind it, naturally. | ||
| I wouldn't put that past him. | ||
| But now I want a book. | ||
| I think more than that, it means nothing. | ||
| I think you could dance in any way that Owen just wants to make fun of and be like, hey, that's how Democrats do it. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| But now I want him to be pinned down on this. | ||
| I want specific moves that are Democrat or Republican. | ||
| I know that the floss is Republican as shit. | ||
| I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| You actually might be more right than you think. | ||
| That there's homophobia built into this because of where things go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you drink some of the fluoride? | |
| Did you watch CNN? | ||
| I just like this belt, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Be honest. | |
| You watched CNN, and now you kind of like Don Lemon. | ||
| Well, I mean, I did date Don Lemon for a while. | ||
| What's wrong with that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You like Trevor Noah, too? | |
| You moved on from Don Lemon to Trevor Noah? | ||
| No, they double-teamed me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you still upset, though, that Don Lemon dumped you? | |
| Seriously, who will put this on me? | ||
| I'm the winner! | ||
| I'm the winner! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not how it works! | |
| No one will put the belt on him. | ||
| Alex deserves this belt. | ||
| Um, so yeah. | ||
| This should be in a terrarium. | ||
| This should be playing on a loop in a terrarium some thousands of years in the future just to be like, look at what prehistoric man was like. | ||
| It does feel very much like it's shocking that this is in 2020. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That this passes for entertainment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bananas. | |
| This is Cro-Magon writer's room. | ||
| I can't imagine, first of all, someone listening to this and thinking it's funny because it's a disaster. | ||
| No, this is awful. | ||
| Second, I can't imagine anyone watching this and being like, I trust these guys to read. | ||
| These people are who I want to get my information from. | ||
| I understand that people like to cut loose, but this is a telling way to cut loose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| These guys. | ||
| So Alex feels like he's entitled to this belt, although no one will help him with the straps and the buttons. | ||
| Which is its own kind of indignity that I lasciviously enjoy. | ||
| Alex Jones, too drunk for buttons. | ||
| So he starts riffing about how he deserves all this stuff, and then it starts to get into the autonomous zone. | ||
| Sure, why not? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need to go to the autonomous zone where everything's done for you. | |
| This is America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, literally, you go to the autonomous zone. | |
| I want a port-a-potty delivered here right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is not Chaz. | |
| And I want food delivered to Chaz. | ||
| This is not Chaz. | ||
| I want a port-a-potty delivered here. | ||
| That magic only happens to Chaz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got his port-a-potty right here, folks. | |
| There you go, Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's your port-a-potty from Chaz. | |
| Hold on, guys. | ||
| Let's get this shot. | ||
| Alex is using the port-a-potty from Chaz. | ||
| You don't want to know what just happened. | ||
| So at this point, the ref appears and gives Alex a bag to serve as a port-a-potty. | ||
| Alex places that on the ground in front of Owen's desk and pretends to shit in it. | ||
| Please remember, this is a family show. | ||
| The unfortunate thing here, though, is camera angles. | ||
| I have no idea why, but there's a weird statue that looks like a Roman centurion sitting on the floor in front of Owen's desk. | ||
| So when Alex squats down to pretend he's shitting in this bag, you can't really see the bag, and it just looks like he's shitting on this statue. | ||
| See, now that's funny. | ||
| It's very bizarre. | ||
| Now we're in funny territory again. | ||
| They pulled it out. | ||
| They pulled it out from the brink. | ||
| It's unintentional, and I'm very confident saying at this point... | ||
| That this is off the rails. | ||
| This is fully off the rails. | ||
| This reminds me of so many high school parties where everybody is still in high school and having a good time, and then there's the drunk guy who's lost his fucking mind, can't handle his liquor or anything like that, and everybody's kind of looking at it like... | ||
| Dude, just get this guy out of here. | ||
| But there are three white dudes around, always egging him on, just like, yeah, do something else, stupid! | ||
| Let's keep doing this! | ||
| And then he breaks some shit, and you hate the party. | ||
| And anyways, I fucking hate Todd. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| This is also Friday. | ||
| This is last Friday. | ||
| It does kind of have the vibe of an office where people finish their shift and then start drinking but might still hang out at the office. | ||
| Alex is done with his show. | ||
| Now Owen's got to host his show. | ||
| He's like, I can start drinking in half an hour once my show's over, but Alex is already tanked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's just coming in and fucking with him while he's trying to do his job. | |
| That's the vibe I get. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| Alex just pantomime shitting on a bag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In a bag. | |
| That's pretty great. | ||
| So now Alex leaves. | ||
| I'm leaving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You didn't know that? | |
| This is a fake cisgender white pride event. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| That I agree with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want to cancel Paw Patrol, too, don't you? | |
| This is reparations, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unbelievable. | |
| You would. | ||
| See that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want to cancel Paw Patrol? | |
| You want to cancel everything? | ||
| You're scared I'm going to win this push-up contest. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll have to find out. | |
| I guess he's not leaving. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, Alex isn't leaving. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| At this point... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guys, put a fork in this several minutes ago. | ||
| Go home. | ||
| In that clip, Alex said, I'm leaving. | ||
| And he also said, get back to your calls. | ||
| And then starts another conversation about how many push-ups someone can do. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's like trying to end a phone call with my mom. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| This keeps going. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So Alex gets to talking about how he's going to do some push-ups. | ||
| But there's a catch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| You want some food? | ||
| It's worth a hundred years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ready? | |
| You are a social justice warrior. | ||
| So let's see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I'm saving up my energy. | |
| If I do five push-ups, that's 100 you gotta do each time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be... | |
| You ready for this? | ||
| You ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
100, 200, 300, 400, 400, 500, 600, 700, 800, 800, 900, 1,000, 1,100, 1,200. | |
| Ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah! | ||
| I win! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on, let me see you do one more. | |
| Alright. | ||
| I don't really care, but Alex isn't doing full push-ups. | ||
| He's only going about halfway down, and his arms are really not in good formation. | ||
| He basically looks like a guy who doesn't do push-ups regularly, trying to act like a tough boy while drunk at a frat party, which is basically exactly what's going on here. | ||
| That sounds exactly like what's going on right there. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Oh, my push-ups count for 100. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You know, when I hang out with people, you know, when comics get together and we start riffing, we have a good time, we laugh out loud. | ||
| We express joy with each other, something along the line. | ||
| These guys don't seem to express joy just like energy. | ||
| Like, they just have... | ||
| Energy that's coming out, but it's in a faux humorous kind of manner. | ||
| There also seems to be a fair amount of tension. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| There does seem to be... | ||
| I didn't get the vibe that this was like... | ||
| It doesn't feel like they're having fun. | ||
| No. | ||
| It does not feel like they're having fun. | ||
| Unlike the people who actually own that belt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who have a great time. | ||
| They have a trombone. | ||
| Man, if you just stop being so racist and saying everything is a social justice warrior assumption, maybe you'd have a good time. | ||
| That's even convoluted in its presentation. | ||
| Yeah, come on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stick with the bit! | |
| At the end of that one, you heard Owen insisting, Alex, do one more. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One more. | |
| Gotta do one more. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's worth a thousand. | ||
| And so this... | ||
| No, ten thousand. | ||
| Ten thousand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I apologize. | |
| So now we get into that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know these social justice warriors don't like rules, but I'll tell you what they count for. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| I win. | ||
| I already won. | ||
| I said so. | ||
| Racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta do one more there. | |
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just one more. | |
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Tell me there's a whooping question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see it. | |
| This one counts for 10,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| Alright. | ||
| So, the first thing to note is that Alex is definitely gassed after like 10 push-ups. | ||
| He doesn't appear to be used to that kind of exertion, which calls into question his constant talk about exercising every morning and watching the news and what have you. | ||
| So that weird noise you hear there at the end is Owen jumping off his desk and doing a little leg drop onto Alex while he was doing his last push-up. | ||
| It's not a regular leg drop, though. | ||
| Owen lands with his back kind of in a straddle position. | ||
| His legs with a straddle over Alex's back. | ||
| And then he gets up and he drops an elbow on Alex. | ||
| Okay, good, good. | ||
| It's probably fine, but honestly, this is kind of dangerous. | ||
| Like, Alex is not in good shape, and no matter what, this is a couple-foot drop that Owen's doing, landing on a presumably unprepared Alex who's facing the ground in a push-up position. | ||
| Wrestlers train for a long time and work really hard to do things safely that, if you try to recreate, will really hurt someone. | ||
| Some basic wrestling moves, if done for real, would straight-up kill a person. | ||
| Like a DDT, that's a normal move. | ||
| It's not even a finisher most of the time, and if you gave someone a DDT onto a hard surface, you could very easily knock them out, Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Horseplay is fun, but when you're jumping off stuff onto the back of a clearly exhausted 46-year-old dude who just had oral surgery that morning, you're not playing safe. | ||
| This may not have led to any real issues, but the decision-making that leads you to do that kind of thing as an adult is very suspicious. | ||
| It's very suspect. | ||
| Wait, so Alex has been out since then? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dan, did Owen kill Alex Jones? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| I thought about that. | ||
| I considered the possibility that he injured Alex's back or something. | ||
| Because that would be pretty great. | ||
| I don't think that's the case, though. | ||
| That'd be very funny. | ||
| That'd be like, you know, it was Hitler who killed Hitler, so he couldn't be that bad of a guy. | ||
| Like, if Owen took down Alex Jones's career by a leg drop. | ||
| That'd be pretty funny. | ||
| It would be. | ||
| I'm more inclined to think that this is something business-related, like some sort of reorganizational thing. | ||
| He's got plenty going on. | ||
| Could be something to do with one of his lawsuits or maybe family court. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| There are a lot of options. | ||
| There are. | ||
| That's probably a sign you're not doing well in life if there are so many possible reasons that you could be out of law. | ||
| I believe all of them. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| One of the lowest on that list is probably Owen's leg drop. | ||
| So Owen hit him with the elbow and then kicked him. | ||
| And then he starts hitting him with the belt. | ||
| Great. | ||
| This is how he sort of taunts Alex. | ||
| This is what we do to police in this country. | ||
| How do you like that? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We said you back to blue. | |
| We kill you. | ||
| Alex Jones down. | ||
| That guy just break in there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
War room is raw for nothing. | |
| So that makes no sense. | ||
| Why is Owen saying this is what we do to police in this country? | ||
| Is Owen's gimmick supposed to be that he's a parody of his own fears of the left? | ||
| Because if so, that comment would make total sense, but nothing he's done up to this point supports that character. | ||
| Or is Alex's gimmick supposed to be that he's a cop? | ||
| Because that hasn't been established at all. | ||
| However, that would help make sense of Alex coming in and just taking the belt. | ||
| It could be a civil asset forfeiture angle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure! | |
| How much fun would that be? | ||
| Any of this would be more interesting, but really, it's just Owen being shitty at this stuff off the cuff, and it's confusing as hell. | ||
| Why are you saying this is what we do to cops in this country when you're hitting Alex Jones with a belt and you're Owen Schroer? | ||
| It's a Mad Libs. | ||
| There's no character work being done. | ||
| It is... | ||
| Like he learned the worst lessons of humor from Family Guy, where it's like, if you just make a reference to a different thing, that's kind of humor. | ||
| Yeah, you can't cut away to a... | ||
| Yeah, that's not real life. | ||
| You can't cut to a, you know... | ||
| Oh, that's stupid. | ||
| Can't have a visual gag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, at this point, Alex has been beaten up, and he has written off TV, and he leaves. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| And so Owen goes to calls. | ||
| There's more show after that. | ||
| This works for a little while, but it doesn't really work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Facebook has heard nothing but divide, whether you've got to be either a completely... | |
| No, but division is love now. | ||
| Division is inclusion now. | ||
| You didn't know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Being from Mississippi, I did not know. | |
| I didn't know you were... | ||
| What the... | ||
| That was a real attack by Jesse Smollett. | ||
| To clarify... | ||
| Wow! | ||
| To clarify, Alex has lumbered back... | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He has lumbered back into the studio, and he is now fake-hitting Owen with the belt. | ||
| Oh, this is mad libs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Oh, I should also say, Alex is carrying a big cup, and he is clearly just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure, sure, sure. | |
| He's just shit-faced. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a real Jesse Smaller attack! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Yeah! | ||
| Ha! | ||
| This is great radio. | ||
| It's now my autonomous zone. | ||
| You're all off the air. | ||
| In fact, Owen's money's mine now. | ||
| Let's see what's in here. | ||
| You are very tired. | ||
| Some more lord payment now. | ||
| We're almost $100 here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is breathing super heavy. | |
| It's gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is so gassed. | |
| He has no cardio. | ||
| He just did a little fake attack on Owen and he sounds like he just... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| It's almost scary. | ||
| That really is. | ||
| It makes me wonder how he's able to yell for like five minutes straight without falling over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So yeah, he has beaten up Owen and stolen his wallet now. | ||
| That is... | ||
| And he's sitting in Owen's chair. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| As if he's taking over the show. | ||
| Nothing better than just a long string of weird old men grunting together and then wheezing promises to steal money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So here's where we dismount. | ||
| This is the last clip that we have because this resolves itself in one of the most satisfying conclusions this side of Breaking Bad. | ||
| I will say that... | ||
| Standing over somebody and declaring, this is my autonomous zone, is not bad. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| I think we can bring that into our... | ||
| I'll take that. | ||
| That goes into the lexicon. | ||
| Maybe that'll take over for, Dan, this is 2020. | ||
| I'll declare our podcast our autonomous zone. | ||
| This is my autonomous zone right here. | ||
| Yeah, we'll see. | ||
| So here's the last clip, and Alex explains why he hasn't left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, okay. | |
| Sorry, he's got a guest on. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| He's got a guest. | ||
| I was reading what I did. | ||
| But this is an autonomous zone now. | ||
| I actually can't find my car keys while I haven't left yet. | ||
| I better get out of here before he comes in here and attacks me. | ||
| Doesn't matter what comes up at the end of the hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| So what's happening now is that Owen has gone backstage and put on a doctor's lab coat. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And he's choking Alex from behind. | ||
| This is non-ending. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| This is real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We got to choke out a whitey. | |
| We got to choke out a whitey. | ||
| Wait, the doctor is now calling people whitey? | ||
| We got a whitey right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Can you breathe? | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We got a whitey now. | |
| Who are you people? | ||
| We got a whitey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chalk on up now. | |
| We took the whitey out. | ||
| Now, reverse your privilege. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| The doc says you're racist for being white on the show. | ||
| The highest quality program you've ever seen. | ||
| So, he, Owen is now walking Alex to the back. | ||
| And that's Alex saying this is the highest quality programming ever as he's off camera being shuffled out the door. | ||
| To the production booth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| Alright, well, this is a family show. | ||
| It's a family show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm wounded, folks. | |
| I'm wounded. | ||
| I was wounded by Alex Jones. | ||
| You saw it. | ||
| I was assaulted right in this chair. | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| What is fucking happening? | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| Some of those moans did sound a little bit sexual. | ||
| That was not good. | ||
| Especially the mix with the music. | ||
| It's really uncomfortable. | ||
| Yeah, with the 70s music. | ||
| It was not good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| So the first thing here is that that whole choking thing was incredibly disrespectful and blatantly racist in conception and execution. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Also, it's the second time in like a month that Owen has pretended to murder Alex by strangulation, which makes me think that maybe this is something that's on his vision board. | ||
| Yeah, well. | ||
| Remember the last time when he had the baby mask on? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's on a lot of people's vision board at InfoWars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a very long and very dumb bit. | ||
| But because I've been talking a lot about wrestling, I have to give Owen a couple points. | ||
| Those moans that you hear are Owen selling Alex's attack. | ||
| He's remembered that in this established reality, they're pretending to be in a situation where he should be hurt. | ||
| Alex just attacked him with the belt and beat him up, so when he shows back up, it makes no sense if he doesn't have some kind of an injury. | ||
| Small hat tip to Owen for understanding that element of storytelling. | ||
| Unfortunately, that small hat tip doesn't come anywhere near making up for the gigantic jeers he gets for everything else in that segment, so fuck him. | ||
| You know, because he came back with the doctor's coat and it was like he was a different character. | ||
| So when he shows back up as himself, he's got to be like, oh, Alex beat me up. | ||
| It's an essential thing that a lot of wrestlers even forget. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so obvious to me. | |
| Like, these people have never even talked to a human. | ||
| You know, like, what are you talking about? | ||
| We got a whitey? | ||
| Who talks like it? | ||
| Just them. | ||
| Like, the imagination they have of what their enemy is is just their own, like, stupidity forced back at them. | ||
| That's their own creative. | ||
| Who says, who talks like that? | ||
| That's what they think the left is? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And it is. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You guys just have never had fun. | ||
| So I think one really main point that I want to bring up is that Alex is pretty clearly drunk. | ||
| He's carrying around a paper cup and slurring, and I get really worried when I hear him say that the reason he hasn't left is because he can't find his car keys. | ||
| That dude got a DUI like three months ago, so hopefully the reason he can't find his keys is because someone hid them and called him a cab. | ||
| Because that is really fucked up. | ||
| The idea that he's driving home... | ||
| No, he was drinking his I Can't Find My Keys glass of whiskey. | ||
| That one they have in case you can't find your keys, break glass. | ||
| That's what that's for. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| He does that every time. | ||
| I'm not positive that he's drunk, but he better hope he is. | ||
| Because if that's normal behavior, that implies something that is not solved by sobriety. | ||
| No, that's deeply fucked up. | ||
| That's really, really sad. | ||
| The right's getting too good at comedy for us. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| They are really good. | ||
| They're really good. | ||
| That's what I take away from this, is why aren't there more right-wing conservative comics, Dan? | ||
| It's because we're censoring them, I'm sure. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I thought that this was the payoff. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There is an actual push-up contest. | ||
| There's an actual... | ||
| No, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's very stupid and it's overproduced with fake audience cheering and then there's some fake fights after the announcement of the winner who's obviously Owen. | ||
| It was really a disaster. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| And this is another thing where they fuck up what wrestling is. | ||
| Alex and him doing this is the main event. | ||
| That's the main event. | ||
| If that happens, don't even do the push-up contest. | ||
| The push-up contest is an immediate letdown. | ||
| It's pointless. | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| Darren McBreen, Rob Dew, Marcos Morales, and Rob Dew doing push-ups. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You have peaked. | ||
| This is like giving away a pay-per-view match on the weekly free programming and then, I don't know, doing nothing on the pay-per-view. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is bad business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're not good at this. | ||
| This attempt to approximate what wrestling is just reveals a complete... | ||
| Lack of understanding, lack of interest, lack of awareness, lack of preparation, lack of caring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| I could have done something better in an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Probably. | ||
| Agreed. | ||
| At least come up with like, okay, here's a coherent reason why this is happening. | ||
| So it's not just stupid chaos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| If you're going to bring in the belt and announce the day before you're having some kind of a contest to crown a champion, you clearly are at least partially invested in doing this as a bit. | ||
| Don't ask me. | ||
| Fucking hell, man. | ||
| I resent it. | ||
| I resent it very much. | ||
| At any point in time, they could have just come up with any idea. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Any idea that would be better than that one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially the idea of not doing it. | ||
| I think that that would have been great. | ||
| I think that probably the fact that they're Infowars means that they don't have access to anybody who could write something better. | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| And instead, they just decide to dick around and pretend it's comedy. | ||
| Dan, I agree with you. | ||
| Thank you, Alex. | ||
| Yes, yeah, that's true. | ||
| So hopefully you got home safe. | ||
| You have to be curious and interested, and this is where comedy comes from. | ||
| It comes from curiosity and passion. | ||
| It doesn't come from just being like, oh yeah, I saw that shit, let's... | ||
| Toss that out. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, it's that sort of thing. | ||
| I don't know, was it Steve Martin was saying, like, if you're really good at comedy, you will end up using everything you've ever learned as part of your act. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| That was a poor paraphrase, but it's something like that. | ||
| And they always tell you, like, play to the top of your intelligence. | ||
| Like, you should assume that the people listening or watching whatever you're doing are much smarter than... | ||
| You might want to think. | ||
| And that's always a better path to go. | ||
| And InfoWars insists on going the other direction because they have no faith in their audience. | ||
| They think they're all stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| They brought up some great points. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I'll say that this is not at all the kind of in-depth episode that I'm interested in getting back into doing. | ||
| I miss doing the show. | ||
| We haven't recorded since Saturday. | ||
| And I was hoping to really have... | ||
| A lot has happened, certainly. | ||
| A lot more than a push-up contest. | ||
| John Bolton's book apparently involves talk of Trump working with Xi, which Alex has got to have a difficult time with. | ||
| You know, there was that military executive order that Trump put through. | ||
| There is the Supreme Court ruling today, just today. | ||
| Naturally. | ||
| Yeah, I would just think that this is the time that Alex needs to be in studio. | ||
| It's shocking that he's gone. | ||
| These are all stories that are begging for Alex to spin, you know? | ||
| Well, I mean, Ginsburg just beat Clarence Thomas in a push-up contest, too, so shit. | ||
| And then he did an elbow drop. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And then she approved another oil pipeline, you know. | ||
| Ginsburg shit. | ||
| So, I'm really interested in why Alex isn't there. | ||
| And I guess we'll find out what his excuse is whenever he gets back. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
| I mean, if he's not back on Friday... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what we'll do for Monday, but we'll figure out something. | ||
| Get into a fight. | ||
| Have a push-up contest. | ||
| Yeah, let's do it. | ||
| We'll see what happens, but we'll be back on Monday. | ||
| And until then, we have a website. | ||
| We do have a website. | ||
| It's knowledgefight.com. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| We're also on Twitter. | ||
| We are on Twitter. | ||
| It's at knowledge underscore fight and at go to bed Jordan. | ||
| Yep, we're on Facebook. | ||
| We are on Facebook. | ||
| And if you could, please find a local charity or bail fund or find people to help in your area. | ||
| We would appreciate that very much. | ||
| Yep, we'll be back. | ||
| But until then, I'm Neo. | ||
| I'm Leo. | ||
| I'm DZX Clark. | ||
| I am the seven-time super alpha male champion. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first time caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your work. |