Today, Dan stays in the present day to tell Jordan about the August 21 episode of The Alex Jones Show. The gents don't like being in the present, so there must be something big that led them to do two 2018 episodes in a row. There is something big, namely Alex basically confessing to a huge crime on air.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your work. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey, everybody. | ||
| Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| We're a couple dudes who like to sit around, drink novelty beverages, and talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Indeed we are. | ||
| Dan? | ||
| What up? | ||
| Dan, how do you feel about the big banks, Dan? | ||
| The big banks? | ||
| How do you feel about the big banks? | ||
| Break them up. | ||
| You think they're great? | ||
| Break them up. | ||
| You think the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is unnecessary? | ||
| I have never been more aligned with Alex Jones for the wrong reasons that I want to crush the banks. | ||
| These international banksters. | ||
| All because Chase Banks screwed me out of a couple bucks today. | ||
| They screwed you out of like 35 bucks. | ||
| That's all it takes to get me to completely become a guy. | ||
| If a bank screws you out of money, the only reason they're there is to make sure that you don't get screwed out of money. | ||
| You would think. | ||
| You would think that's part of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the whole point! | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It turns out I'm now on board with the tax protesters. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Yeah, get rid of the- Sovereign citizens. | ||
| Get rid of the Fed. | ||
| Dan Coyne. | ||
| God, it's so brutal. | ||
| It's so brutal to be poor and then have the bank just fuck you. | ||
| And I know that this is not a unique experience, and it's happened to me in the past before. | ||
| I know, but you're white. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but it's even happened to- Fair, fair. | |
| It's happened to me in the past before, too, and it feels so shitty. | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| It's demonstrably their fault. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That they made a glitch, and now you don't have your money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway, I don't want to complain about this. | ||
| This isn't my soapbox for, hey, I got screwed out of a couple bucks. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Let's fight them to the death. | ||
| And I absolutely don't want to create some sort of pity me. | ||
| No, I don't think that's the... | ||
| We're not talking about pity, Dan. | ||
| We're talking about torches. | ||
| And justice. | ||
| We're talking about pitchforks. | ||
| And we're talking about fucking guillotines, my friend. | ||
| That is something that may come up over the course of this episode, but... | ||
| Generally what we'll be talking about is how I know a lot about Alex Jones. | ||
| And I don't know anything but what you tell me about Alex Jones. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Jordan, so today, to quote the great Brokeback Mountain... | ||
| Watch out for bees! | ||
| I tried. | ||
| Wait, you say that like it was a guy. | ||
| The great movie Brokeback Mountain. | ||
| I think it's Elan Hall in the movie. | ||
| I try to stay away from modern-day Alex Jones, but I wish I could quit you. | ||
| So today we're in the present. | ||
| We are going to go over the August 21st, 2018 episode. | ||
| And one of the reasons for it was, over the course of the afternoon, we saw so much happen in the world of Trump world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, with Michael Cohen pleading guilty and clearly striking a deal wherein he implicated the president in court. | ||
| Hilariously. | ||
| Saying that he was... | ||
| He was told to pay a guy off. | ||
| It was some guy, some candidate for president. | ||
| Sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's not name whom. | |
| Could be anybody. | ||
| My money is on Jill Stein. | ||
| We all know Jill Stein is lousy with sex scandals in her past. | ||
| So fun. | ||
| It's amazing that, first of all, in court he implicated Trump and then also said it was for the sake of Election-related stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, he actually said those things. | ||
| Hey, I'm guilty because of campaign finance fraud, and it's become on behalf of some... | ||
| Some guy. | ||
| Some candidate. | ||
| Some guy. | ||
| Some dude. | ||
| Directed me to commit a crime! | ||
| Some dude was out of line, and I was along with him. | ||
| Some dude was crazy! | ||
| So there's that, and then Paul Manafort was found guilty on eight out of 18 charges that he was facing, but that's only one of the... | ||
| Eight is enough. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| But that's also, he has another trial coming up where he might get found guilty on a bunch of other shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, this dude's fucked. | ||
| And so, like, there's a lot going on. | ||
| And then, I don't know if you were following the Duncan Hunter escapades. | ||
| I was not following the Duncan Hunter. | ||
| Representative Duncan Hunter. | ||
| Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't remember his name because that name sounds made up. | ||
| The filing against him for taking campaign funds and using it for personal expenses. | ||
| People have been... | ||
| Dunking on him because of these specific things that are in the filing document. | ||
| Dunking on Dunkin'. | ||
| Such tiny little expenses that he stole things from because he couldn't afford all this. | ||
| He was just using it as his bank account, essentially. | ||
| And so there's a lot of bad stuff in conservative world. | ||
| And so I was like, a lot of this broke in the afternoon. | ||
| But I wonder if Alex knew it was coming, first of all. | ||
| And then second of all, I wonder if he talks about any of it as it breaks. | ||
| Because he's on air when a lot of those things start to happen. | ||
| And you would think somebody in his staff is at least checking Twitter every now and again. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so I wanted to get in there and see if there was anything. | ||
| And that's why we're still in the present. | ||
| And I will say this. | ||
| Apropos of none of that stuff, I found what might be the most troubling clip that we have ever played on this show. | ||
| Two years into this show, we've played... | ||
| So many fucking clips. | ||
| This is a high bar you are trying to reach here. | ||
| You better deliver. | ||
| This can't be an empty tease. | ||
| There is no way for this to fall flat. | ||
| We have played a clip where Alex admits that he spoke to Russian intelligence when he thought it was an RT interview that he got tricked into. | ||
| We have heard him talk about killing dogs. | ||
| Repeatedly. | ||
| We have talked about... | ||
| Larry Nichols coming on the show and straight up blackmailing Congress on the radio. | ||
| True! | ||
| None of that compares to the clip that I'm going to play you in the middle of this show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I am not teasing this too much. | ||
| You guys are going to love it. | ||
| It made me gasp. | ||
| I almost threw something across the room. | ||
| Trump killed Nonc. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Oh, that would be so great. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Why did I join Team Trump? | ||
| He killed my dog! | ||
| That guy's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a weird reason to do it, and yet at the same time, it makes perfect sense. | |
| It's like, that guy's crazy, man. | ||
| He could do anything. | ||
| He killed my dog in front of me. | ||
| A man so psychopathic is to kill my dog, and I'm a psychopath. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So, before we get into today's show, I'd like to give a special shout-out to a new donor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| It's very exciting. | ||
| This young lady actually called into the show and sent us that delightful game Superfight. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| She is taking over the shout-outs. | ||
| And it is a thrill to welcome her to the team. | ||
| Congratulations, Catherine. | ||
| You are now a globalist. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four stars. | |
| Go home to your mother and tell her you're brilliant. | ||
| Someone sodomite sent me a bucket of poop. | ||
| Daddy shark! | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Thank you so much! | ||
| We appreciate it, and if you, yourself, out there, would like to become a policy wonk, or a globalist, or a technocrat, or any of our weirdo titles that we give people, you can do so. | ||
| All of which are arbitrary, and we will definitely be playing the bumper for a new level that Alex played last week. | ||
| I actually think I found another thing to add into that. | ||
| I could make a new clip. | ||
| The entire commercial that he had? | ||
| Or I might just redo all of them. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll see. | |
| All right. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| You've got a lot on your plate. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| We've got to take down the big banks first, Dan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that'll take a week. | ||
| Anyway, if you'd like to support us and what we do, you can go to our website, knowledgefight.com, and click support the show. | ||
| We would appreciate it. | ||
| Please, two banks are stealing $30 from Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Banks! | |
| And it's fine! | ||
| No, and here's the other sad part. | ||
| That's devastating. | ||
| Yeah, I know! | ||
| That's all the fucking money you have! | ||
| That is like, my life is not good. | ||
| I was walking away from the bank earlier and I'm like, there's other ways I could be living. | ||
| This is a tight wire act I'm walking here. | ||
| Jordan, like I said, we are doing August 21st, 2018. | ||
| Here is an out of context drop from today's episode. | ||
| We go out and get you the most concentrated, insane, very best on the market. | ||
| Period! | ||
|
unidentified
|
At a price less than the competitors that is watered down garbage! | |
| That's a real angry sales pitch. | ||
| That is one bad door-to-door sales, which is what level he's at right now. | ||
| Sir, I don't want the vacuum. | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| The man of the house is not home. | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| A woman holding her baby walking up. | ||
| Get this vacuum! | ||
| We have the best vacuum! | ||
| Other vacuums are trash. | ||
| Dyson is bullshit! | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Fun. | ||
| Fun stuff. | ||
| That should give you a little bit of an idea of where his head's at. | ||
| Good place. | ||
| Pretty desperate. | ||
| He's thinking about how great life is about to be when he needs the bank to refund him $30. | ||
| I'm looking forward to when you and Alex are on equal economic footing, Dan. | ||
| We're going to be at a bar. | ||
| I'm dreaming. | ||
| Just sitting there slinging shots. | ||
| Hey, leave the bottle. | ||
| What's up with you, old-timer? | ||
| You know what's gonna be interesting? | ||
| I kind of believe that in, like, 20 years, you and Alex are really going to be the only people who understand each other. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I think we already are. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| You guys are like soulmates. | ||
| We are star-crossed commentators. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're producers? | |
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Programmers? | ||
| Content creators. | ||
| Sure, I don't like that term. | ||
| Destined to... | ||
| Artists. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Broadcasters, that's the obvious one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| On Monday's episode, we were covering last Friday's Alex Jones episode. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| I discussed at the beginning of it how he's becoming a partisan hack. | ||
| And he's declaring that this next election is the most important of our lifetimes. | ||
| Of all time. | ||
| All this. | ||
| And he doubles down on that a little bit at the opening of today's show. | ||
| We're only 77 days out from the most important election in U.S. history, and many could argue the most important election in world history. | ||
| America is ground zero for the battle for the future of humanity. | ||
| For the globalists fight ragtag bands of pro-America, pro-Liberty, pro-Western, pro-God individuals. | ||
| Ragtag groups of individuals who love God who have million dollar studios. | ||
| Complicated advertising deals. | ||
| Look, look. | ||
| And sell diamond gusset jeans. | ||
| Even the rebellion in Star Wars could afford X-Wings? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You gotta have a financial backing for it. | ||
| There weren't diamond gusset stickers on those X-Wings. | ||
| That is the biggest issue that I have with the world of Star Wars, is that there's no product placement anywhere on them. | ||
| You've got to sponsor a rebellion. | ||
| I would argue, I don't know if there are any products in that world. | ||
| Other than, like, X-Wings. | ||
| I don't see any name brands on anything. | ||
| Ooh, that's a good question. | ||
| I might have missed some of it, though. | ||
| I haven't studied those Star Wars movies. | ||
| Well, now that's a new thing to re-watch them for. | ||
| Figure out what brands are doing what. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Is there Sierra Mist in that world? | ||
| I don't think there is. | ||
| No, because it's a long time ago. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I would say that, hey, let's go with that. | ||
| Palpatine. | ||
| More important election. | ||
| Than the midterms. | ||
| There's so many more important elections. | ||
| There's BCPC, which is before Christ PepsiCo, right? | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| How dare Alex cuck out his own favorite guy, George Washington? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Um, what? | ||
| On elections? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| He didn't even win! | ||
| Well, about the second time. | ||
| Eh, that was like a default. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, perhaps. | |
| Nobody even knew what to do. | ||
| Fine, you can say Andrew Jackson. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It's like in baseball. | ||
| I don't count anything before black people are allowed to play. | ||
| All the elections? | ||
| So, fuck Babe Ruth, I don't need that shit. | ||
| Until you play against black players, which is exactly what I feel like with all the presidents up until fucking... | ||
| Not even now, since we're throwing voter rolls off the goddamn place. | ||
| I still don't think it's a free and fair election. | ||
| Fair. | ||
| At the end of the day, Dan. | ||
| Everything's got asterisks all over it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| And we should keep Andrew Jackson out of the Hall of Fame. | ||
| I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| He was juicing. | ||
| There's no doubt. | ||
| So, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I don't want to break this down too far, but I would say that there are more important elections throughout all of history. | ||
| Hitler. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| That was an important election. | ||
| That was a big one. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What else you got? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I think it was when, oh, the biggest one was probably when Putin won last time with 97% of the vote. | ||
| Everybody projected him to win with only 96% of the vote, and he outperformed. | ||
| Landslide. | ||
| Landslide victory after that. | ||
| That's a mandate is what that is. | ||
| I think that Alex is a little bit scurred. | ||
| He's a little bit shook, and that's why he's doing this sort of language. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Anyway, it's all good. | ||
| Play your game, baby. | ||
| And that's what he does in this next clip. | ||
| He plays his game, and this is pretty fun. | ||
| I actually think that we could probably take him up on this, but it's absolutely not worth our time. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| They're misquoting me in thousands of publications everywhere, saying that I said use battle rifles on the media. | ||
| That's why I'm offering a $1 million... | ||
| Dude, we need this. | ||
| We need this money. | ||
| A $1 million reward. | ||
| I don't care what it is. | ||
| That, of course, will never be paid out because there is no video of me saying use battle rifles on the media. | ||
| It's a total hoax by Lester Holt. | ||
| It is a hoax by all these individuals. | ||
| Brian Stelter, all of them. | ||
| They sit there with Jack Dorsey and go, I'm getting chills right now. | ||
| He said come with the battle rifles. | ||
| Engage in criminal activity. | ||
| Now, I said use the judicial system legally and lawfully and go after them criminally. | ||
| That's not quite right. | ||
| If Alex wants to give a million dollars out for anybody who can claim that he's, like, threatening the media and being really violent about them, I could win that in a second. | ||
| Yeah, we gotta do that. | ||
| I think I could throughout this episode, quite frankly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But if he's saying there's no video or clips of me saying, take the battle rifles, like that specific clip, then fair play, Alex. | ||
| But even if someone did present whatever you're looking for to you, He's never going to give them that million dollars. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| It's a hopeless quest, but we could definitely put together. | ||
| If I'd had more time and wasn't yelling at a bank all day, I probably could have put together a super clip of him threatening the media. | ||
| Yeah, that would probably be easy. | ||
| It happens a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It happens a lot more these days, too. | |
| You should know that they're lying about him. | ||
| And that's why he's comfortable with this million dollar offer that he obviously doesn't have that million dollars to get away. | ||
| Which is exactly why Trump is comfortable not testifying or giving a deposition to Mueller. | ||
| It's because they're all lying about him. | ||
| Why would he even bother? | ||
| He's too correct. | ||
| He's too correct. | ||
| So Alex knows that they're lying about him and he knows, as we talked about on the last episode a little bit, that the reason they're doing that is because the media is about to false flag themselves. | ||
| In order to blame the Patriots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is why, again, it's fine for the Patriots to go out and murder everybody. | ||
| It's a false flag. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| And not too surprisingly, this is a theme that Alex has decided to turn into one of his main talking points. | ||
| Kill everyone. | ||
| Paul Watson has an article on Infowars.com detailing the actual quotes and the actual video versus their criminal, vicious fraud ahead of framing the American people with events on their own institutions. | ||
| You can smell it. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| It'd be like if you had a neighbor and they told you, you know, fires tend to burn down houses. | ||
| Hoping you go out of town next weekend to the beach. | ||
| Nobody burns your house down. | ||
| You'd be like, what? | ||
| To your weird neighbor. | ||
| And then later you come home and your house is burned down and you call the police. | ||
| You say, hey, my neighbor sets up about it. | ||
| And they go, well, that's funny. | ||
| Mr. Brown or Mr. Johnson or Mr. whatever his name is. | ||
| There's real cases like this that have happened quite a few times. | ||
| He's been convicted twice of arson and is mentally ill. | ||
| What? | ||
| And then they go arresting. | ||
| And, I mean, they're saying, your house is going to get burned down. | ||
| Our house is going to get burned down. | ||
| The right-wingers are going to attack us. | ||
| Look, Alex Jones is saying, and he's saying it. | ||
| Meanwhile, in the very video, I'm like, they're going to false flag themselves and stage events against themselves. | ||
| President Trump, they are setting this up to do it. | ||
| And they've got Antifa saying they're coming with weapons to members of Congress' houses. | ||
| They've already shot. | ||
| And attacked Congressman Scalise and attacked Rand Paul and said they want to kidnap your son and rape him with pedophiles. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| They did not do that last part. | ||
| Peter Fonda can say that. | ||
| Peter Fonda. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| So the thing I'm looking at here is that makes no sense. | ||
| None at all. | ||
| The metaphor would need to be that your crazy neighbor is saying that you are going to burn down his house beforehand or something like that. | ||
| It has nothing to do with your house. | ||
| And then he burns his own house down in order to frame you for it. | ||
| Right, because you need to generate pity for yourself if your house is burned down. | ||
| So his metaphor doesn't really hold. | ||
| It kind of makes no sense. | ||
| But I don't expect it to make much sense because, as we talked about already, this is just preemptive narrative building. | ||
| So when something does happen and someone does take a shot at a journalist, Alex and his listeners' conscience can be free. | ||
| It's really, really fucking disgusting to know that in league with the guy who is saying that the media is our enemy and they should be destroyed is the guy who's saying, don't worry about it because the media is doing it to themselves. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It's victim blaming. | ||
| Like, what are you fucking talking about? | ||
| The definition of gaslighting should something happen. | ||
| And even if it doesn't, like, you don't... | ||
| We don't really get to know the private goings-on of all of these journalists, but a lot of times people have posted threats they've gotten and things like that, and you just have to extrapolate in your mind how much more is there that you don't see. | ||
| I mean, people have to deal with that a whole lot, and they shouldn't. | ||
| Well, when you factor in the massive, massive rise in hate crimes that have been committed since the moment... | ||
| Trump was allowed to speak out loud. | ||
| Did you see that German study about Facebook usage? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| I don't have all the details. | ||
| I don't trust the Germans. | ||
| They're very sketchy. | ||
| Merkel, who knows what she's up to. | ||
| Still not forgiving them. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm just keeping in a wary eye. | ||
| It takes a while. | ||
| Keeping a wary eye on them. | ||
| There was a study that was done, and I don't have all the details in front of me, but the broad strokes of it were that they found that even if you separate out all sorts of other demographic features like class, Income brackets, race, political affiliation. | ||
| They found that in places where Facebook usage was one derivation away, one statistical derivation away from the center, there was one more than the incidence of hate crimes rose like 50%. | ||
| So they... | ||
| Did, like, what? | ||
| A regression analysis that said that there was a high correlation between the two? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not causation, obviously. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it is very interesting data that I hope people do more looking into, because it does sort of seem to indicate that no matter where you fall on a lot of spectrums, the inundation of bullshit online does tend to radicalize people. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| Let's go back to city-states that don't communicate with each other. | ||
| Now you and Alex are talking. | ||
| I think that makes more sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We need to wall off Chicago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Build that wall! | |
| That would be an interesting way for him to lose the next election. | ||
| Fuck Gary, Indiana. | ||
| We gotta get rid of those guys. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That actually might solve our gun running issue, though. | ||
| All of our guns come from Indiana, so maybe we build a wall between Illinois and Indiana. | ||
| Well, it makes as much sense as any other wall. | ||
| There's no way that people who run guns from one state to another would get around that. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, come on. | ||
| Impossible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| We would have to have functioning roads if we don't even have taxes anymore, so fuck that. | ||
| So, I think that your idea for Illinois politics and the next evolution of it is interesting. | ||
| I'm going to take down Rom. | ||
| But now, Jordan, I wanted to save this until the end and just be a huge tease, but I have to do this chronologically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| So, now we get to you already. | ||
| So, here's the big one. | ||
| The craziest clip I think I've ever heard on this show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Put your mic down. | ||
| Turn it up for me a little bit. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And don't scream over this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| I won't scream. | ||
| Hold in your screams. | ||
| I'm not going to scream. | ||
| Google would love to have me arrested and killed. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| See, I've never killed anybody. | ||
| Technically, one guy. | ||
| Two years. | ||
| Well, we had some health problems later. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Technically, I didn't. | ||
| The point is, I've never killed anybody. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| What? | ||
| Alex killed a guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, what? | |
| Alex killed a guy? | ||
| Alex fucking killed a guy. | ||
| Alex totally killed a dude. | ||
| Can't he just admit to killing a guy? | ||
| We gotta go from the top. | ||
| Holy shit, what? | ||
| Google would love to have me arrested and killed. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| See, I've never killed anybody. | ||
| Technically, one guy had some health problems later, but technically I didn't. | ||
| The point is, technically I didn't kill a guy is not the I didn't kill a guy that you want to hear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Technically I didn't kill a guy. | ||
| Technically. | ||
| He killed a guy. | ||
| What does that even mean? | ||
| He killed a guy. | ||
| I mean, like, I didn't finish the job. | ||
| I didn't do the denouement. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| And did you hear how it almost sounded like he said a few years ago? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So this isn't like when he was a kid in his street fighting days or anything like that. | ||
| He had some health problems, too. | ||
| It wasn't like a... | ||
| He... | ||
| He fucking killed a guy. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So here's what I'm hearing out of that. | ||
| He got into, like, a fight of some sort, and this guy had some health problems, and it turned out that Alex caused those health problems to murder that guy. | ||
| Meaning, Alex killed a guy. | ||
| At this point, for us to, like, sort of spitball the specifics of it is kind of irresponsible, except what we can say is, by his own words... | ||
| I think he killed a guy. | ||
| I think he killed a guy. | ||
| Holy fucking shit, he killed a guy. | ||
| He definitely feels partially responsible for a murder. | ||
| You know what the issue here is? | ||
| What? | ||
| He does not experience a lot of guilt in that clip. | ||
| I feel like there should be a lot more going on if you go... | ||
| He should have been like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Technically, I didn't kill him. | |
| I didn't. | ||
| But he would never have brought it up and gone down that road if there wasn't some kernel of something in the back of his mind that's like, I did do that. | ||
| I am responsible for that. | ||
| I am a murderer. | ||
| Or at least a manslaughterer. | ||
| And by his definition, he's killed at least ten children with his abortions that he's had. | ||
| So he's a mass murderer by his own definition. | ||
| Alex is the serial killer we always assumed that he was. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| So you add in killing dogs in there too, which is a natural sort of jumping off point for a serial killer. | ||
| Yeah, no, when you kill dogs, like the first thing that you see in serial killers is cruelty to animals at a young age. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He's a serial killer. | ||
| I'm willing to now give his credit as self-confessed murderer Alex Jones. | ||
| I will take it. | ||
| So we got to start back over at the beginning of this clip because I think... | ||
| Added into the weirdness, and what I think makes this the craziest clip I've ever heard, is the confession of murder, and then where he goes after it. | ||
| Like, I think there's a part of his brain that's like, whoops. | ||
| And then you can see the gears turning, kind of, and he jumps into, like, I'm gonna distract everyone so they don't realize what I just fucking said on my show. | ||
| Google would love to have me arrested and killed. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| See, I've never killed anybody. | ||
| Technically one guy. | ||
| I'll have some health problems later, but technically I didn't. | ||
| The point is, I've never killed anyone. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| But these people have helped China kill millions, and now they're bringing it here, and then they sit there all day and go, Alex Jones was mean to the Sandy Hook families. | ||
| Alex Jones won't stop saying no one died. | ||
| And I'm like, I... | ||
| That's out of context. | ||
| I didn't say that the way you're saying it. | ||
| Please stop saying I'm saying it if it's so hurtful. | ||
| And they go, no, you hurt children. | ||
| You hurt children. | ||
| Meanwhile, they helped China, the biggest mass murderers in history. | ||
| They lied to get us into these wars. | ||
| They fund the Arab Spring to topple regimes that are actually more democratic. | ||
| Alex, you killed a guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why aren't you talking? | ||
| No, but it's brilliant the way he spins his wheels and he's like, all right. | ||
| Everybody else murders. | ||
| It's like he's about to fall off a cliff wall that he's climbing when he says, I killed a guy, basically. | ||
| And then he's like, China, China kills people too! | ||
| That's him getting his hand on a new grip. | ||
| He's a good Sly Stallone and cliffhanger is what he's doing. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| He's found his next handhold and he's like, alright, alright, I can climb from here. | ||
| They do some terrible things. | ||
| Meanwhile, there's the ghost of the guy that he's killed waiting at the bottom just staring like, you're now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're next. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| You're next. | ||
| Who did he kill? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| Do we have standing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Can we call somebody? | ||
| Is there a call to make? | ||
| To quote The Wire, murder stays murder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not something that goes away. | |
| I want to know way more details on that story. | ||
| God. | ||
| Also, when we were recording this, last night he was on Coast to Coast AM. | ||
| And if I had heard this clip... | ||
| Before that, you bet your ass I would have called in and been like, hey Alex, on the radio you said you killed a guy. | ||
| What's up with that? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| We need to know more about that. | ||
| I don't know if we'll ever get to the bottom of it, but congratulations Alex, you just admitted on air that you probably killed a guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, I wonder if Right Wing Watch and Medium Matters are talking about that. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| He just admitted he killed a guy. | ||
| If you are the guy that Alex killed, please call 503-NEON-NIP. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Oh, also, by the way, shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I forgot to do that at the top of the show. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| Do we have one now? | ||
| We have a call. | ||
| Did somebody kill him? | ||
| Should we go to the call? | ||
| We should go to this call. | ||
| We need something to, like, cleanse the palate because that should be the end of our fucking show. | ||
| That's such a jinx moment. | ||
| That's whenever Bob Durst is like, oh, because you killed everybody. | ||
| What did I do? | ||
| Killed them all. | ||
| I'm shocked Alex didn't start burping weirdly. | ||
| In the middle of that. | ||
| Where was his tick? | ||
| I suppose his tick was to blame the Chinese. | ||
| And the ear thing. | ||
| Oh, he did do the ear thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is from the podcast. | ||
| I didn't watch it. | ||
| But I did also find it on YouTube with very few views, once again. | ||
| So, that's great. | ||
| But yes, as a palate cleanser, let's go to the phone lines. | ||
| We got a very awesome... | ||
| Did somebody from Chico kill a guy and then left us a message? | ||
| Did we discover... | ||
| Is Alex the Zodiac Killer? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| We did not get a call from Chico. | ||
| Nor did we get a call about Alex killing somebody. | ||
| But we've got our first international message. | ||
| No shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello. | |
| This is Sonja from Sweden. | ||
| I'm just calling to say thank you for this amazing show that you do. | ||
| It's very helpful to get me through the days at work, so that's good. | ||
| I know I'm probably supposed to tell you to come here and do a live show, but I'm a very reasonable person, so I'm not going to do that. | ||
| Anyway, that was about it. | ||
| I just wanted to say thank you, and yeah, okay. | ||
| Oh, thank you so much, Sonya! | ||
| Oh my god, Sonya! | ||
| I'm gonna fucking cry! | ||
| I'm gonna fucking cry! | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| We got a call from fucking Sweden! | ||
| I didn't even know they had phones! | ||
| Wow, that's mean. | ||
| That's probably a bigotry there on some level. | ||
| The soft bigotry of diminished expectations coming out in your view of Europe. | ||
| Come on, what are you talking about? | ||
| Obviously Sweden has a more competent phone system than we do. | ||
| They can call here. | ||
| I don't even know how to call Sweden. | ||
| I think you have to do a country... | ||
| We have one. | ||
| We're number one. | ||
| Is that why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's probably because we invented phones. | ||
| Fuck that, China. | ||
| Thank you so much, Sonya. | ||
| It's so great to hear from you. | ||
| We appreciate your longtime support of the show, and you're the best. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It is fantastic to hear your voice, Sonya. | ||
| You have been a huge supporter for a long time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also... | ||
| Why didn't you tell us about Alex killing a guy, Sonya? | ||
| You knew it. | ||
| If you can call America, you could have figured that shit out way in advance. | ||
| I thought that we were doing that to get us off the killing topic. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| It's hard to move on from that. | ||
| That's all I've got. | ||
| Bananas. | ||
| So now let's try our best to deal with this. | ||
| Now we see Alex through the prism of murder. | ||
| Let's see if we can... | ||
| See if we can still do the show, quite frankly. | ||
| The prism of murder. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's very difficult. | ||
| As we learn more things, like the white supremacy has been a part of his rhetoric for a decade, at least. | ||
| And he's awful. | ||
| It's hard to look at him the same way as we get these new layers of awareness. | ||
| And I don't know if there's any more than, he killed a guy. | ||
| How do we see him as the same person anymore? | ||
| When he's drunk and forlorn, it's no longer like, isn't this funny? | ||
| He's experiencing some guilt over killing a guy. | ||
| He's wrestling with demons, like hardcore demons. | ||
| Which is why he thinks they're real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're plaguing him after killing a guy. | ||
| Yeah, because he knows there are demons because his chase him. | ||
| He doesn't get a little bit of sleep because he's too busy working on the info war. | ||
| It's because he's crying. | ||
| I'm fine with that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I somewhat jokingly assumed that he had killed a guy. | ||
| It is still jarring to hear him say, I killed a guy. | ||
| Well, not technically. | ||
| That's not a defense! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not a defense! | ||
| And you're on a fucking radio show, man. | ||
| If you just say, I've never killed a guy, no one's going to be like, yes, you have. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So, I... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Just stop it. | ||
| I never killed a guy. | ||
| I hit him with my car, right? | ||
| But... | ||
| Technically, I was so drunk, I was in the passenger seat at the time. | ||
| The car killed him. | ||
| I wasn't even doing anything. | ||
| The health problems that came later. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| All right, we're going to be here all night if we don't stop talking about the potential murder here. | ||
| All right, okay. | ||
| So now, we'll get on to another topic here, and that is Alex completely lying about what is very clearly his timeline about George Soros. | ||
| They are using a Maoist playbook. | ||
| You think they're playing games? | ||
| These people are not playing games. | ||
| They're funded by a crazy Nazi collaborator who, when I was a teenager, was on the Lair News Hour that he was an international criminal that overthrew governments and devalued currencies and stole people's pension funds. | ||
| By the way, it would be the McNeil Lair Hour back then. | ||
| But also, dude... | ||
| You didn't know about Soros before. | ||
| You didn't know about him since you were a teen. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| That's such bullshit. | ||
| We're going back into, like, even 2009. | ||
| He lists all of his arch-globalists, his main enemies. | ||
| Soros has never come up. | ||
| I found one clip that Bob Chapman brings up George Soros. | ||
| And Alex... | ||
| Doesn't register it at all. | ||
| Doesn't know the name. | ||
| He moves on to another thing. | ||
| And the way that Bob Chapman's bringing him up is not even as like he's an evil guy. | ||
| It's just that he's a rich dude who doesn't agree with us politically. | ||
| It's not even in terms of, like, he's masterminding stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I'm excited to know when that happens. | ||
| Alex dismisses it out of hand. | ||
| So the idea that he's known about him as some sort of monster who overthrows country since he's a teen is categorically not true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a very recent piece of his worldview. | ||
| So I like that move that he's doing. | ||
| Also, Alex, in ironic defense of China... | ||
| The mouse playbook does include the Statue of Liberty play, so that kind of undercuts your argument right there. | ||
| The flea flicker. | ||
| Yeah, the 48 special. | ||
| False fake pun. | ||
| False flag pun. | ||
| Now I want an InfoWars football playbook. | ||
| That's what I need. | ||
| Oh, that would be great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Man, that would be good merch for us. | ||
| That would be good merch. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
| We still haven't written a book that's supposed to make us money. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| We're going to get there. | ||
| I'm basically... | ||
| Like, almost at book length for what I'm working on right now. | ||
| So, hey, there'll be a book that you don't have to buy. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| Yeah, we're great at this. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Free online book coming soon. | ||
| Spread out on a ton of different webpages. | ||
| Anyway, he's not done talking about Soros yet. | ||
| And I'll say, on our last episode, we talked about how for Lorne to get him on SNL... | ||
| Alex needs three characters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And he's got Cuomo and Sanders that are very close. | ||
| That are pretty much the same character. | ||
| They're very close. | ||
| They are also his mentally handicapped character, which is dicey at best. | ||
| Yeah, we're always remiss to not bring up that that thank you, welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? | ||
| Is very offensive. | ||
| Well, it's a direct... | ||
| What he's doing is a commercial from the 90s, from McDonald's, where there was a guy with Down syndrome who worked at McDonald's. | ||
| And so that is what he's making fun of, which makes it even more... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man, the 90s were fucking crazy. | |
| What? | ||
| We've been even too fair when we make fun of how bad that impression is because we don't even bring into it that he's making fun of someone with Down syndrome. | ||
| That's because I didn't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He sucks. | ||
| It's weird how much better and worse a place it is than it was in the 90s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, Jordan, we now have his third character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like I said, Cuomo, Sanders, and now George Soros. | ||
| Slightly meets Dracula. | ||
| I'm just supposed to roll over to some crazy Nazi collaborator that overthrows countries and steals old people's pension funds? | ||
| And you've got the entire Hollywood scumbaggery worshipping you? | ||
| It was happy-making time when I would help round up the Jews. | ||
| I feel not bad about it at all. | ||
| I'll say, right now, not the worst impression. | ||
| As far as his accents go, I'm gonna give him a... | ||
| A solid B on this. | ||
| Like, again, grading on a scale. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I mean, the content of it is hot bullshit. | ||
| But I do think that he's in the ballpark of Hungarian. | ||
| I'll give him that. | ||
| It's not too far off. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I've heard Soros talk before, and it's not crazy far off. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| I don't like the mixing up verb tenses as though that's okay. | ||
| No, that's bad. | ||
| But again, like I'm saying, the content is bad. | ||
| But just the voice, the vocal quality... | ||
| Not terrible. | ||
| He's done so much worse, and he's about to. | ||
| B. I said it was a very invigorating time for me in my life. | ||
| I love the Transylvania accent, too. | ||
| Blah, blah. | ||
| It's so much fun to do what we do to you. | ||
| And you don't even know it, do you? | ||
| It's so much good times. | ||
| My son is at spirit-cooking events. | ||
| He looks even crazier than I do. | ||
| Every four of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one stops us! | |
| No one gets in our way! | ||
| Is that salacious problem? | ||
| Get him! | ||
| Jones got in our way! | ||
| Destroy him! | ||
| No one gets in my way! | ||
| No one! | ||
| U.S. deports former Nazi camp guard, 95 to Germany. | ||
| He just convicted it. | ||
| But not Soros. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He doesn't get shipped away. | ||
| He's a good man. | ||
| Well, that's because he wasn't a Nazi. | ||
| It's like, hey, Alex. | ||
| Are you mad that this Nazi got deported who was hiding in America? | ||
| Are you mad about that? | ||
| I don't know why you would be. | ||
| A sense of fairness. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you're going to deport one Nazi, why aren't we deporting all Nazis? | ||
| And that's because we would get rid of 90% of his listeners. | ||
| If we go for that argument, I'm listening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm listening. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Rule of law? | ||
| Why only this old dude? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Sure, sure, we can do better, but... | ||
| If your argument is, why are we getting rid of this old dude when we could get rid of George Soros, I would say very substantial reasons. | ||
| One, again, he's not a Nazi. | ||
| He never was. | ||
| Second, it does make it seem like he doesn't want that old guy deported. | ||
| And if his argument were, he's fucking 95, just, like, let him die. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then I'd listen. | ||
| I would say, yeah, it's probably not worth it to go through the rigmarole of deporting him. | ||
| On the other hand, he's a fucking Nazi. | ||
| Who gives a shit if he's uncomfortable at 95? | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna go with all of my sympathies end when you ushered people into an oven. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| I see a logistical argument for why it's probably not worth it, but I don't give a shit. | ||
| And I also am not charmed by arguments that are like, why are we deporting this guy when we could do more? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Deport more people. | ||
| I mean, if you're going to go with, like, a pure profit loss statement, I mean, yeah, you're losing more money deporting the guy than you would be if you just left him alone, but, you know, on the moral profit and loss, I mean, I still don't care. | ||
| I'm going to go with I don't care. | ||
| I'm going to punt on this one. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Anyway, Alex... | ||
| Hey, why is that even a news story? | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
| I think it's one of those, like, the world has become so fucked up that that's a feel-good story. | ||
| Like, there used to be the cat gets rescued from tree in local news, and now it's, well, at least we got one Nazi out of here. | ||
| Or, like, five, six years ago, it was tranquilized bear falls out of tree. | ||
| And everybody can feel great about that. | ||
| Yeah, he's fine. | ||
| He's doing great. | ||
| Nobody was hurt. | ||
| We got him. | ||
| But there's a funny picture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He rolls over and he doesn't fall apart and he looks like a little kitten. | ||
| Or, hey, there's those goats that you yell at and they fall over. | ||
| Oh, that's a feel-good story. | ||
| We used to have those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And now we found a Nazi. | |
| We found a 90-year-old Nazi hanging out and we kicked him out of the country. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| That's a sign of bad times. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that's not great. | ||
| No. | ||
| Also, that's a real bad scoreboard for us in the Nazis still. | ||
| Where it's like, alright, we got one Nazi out of here. | ||
| Now, we return to having a president who's a Nazi. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Yeah, it's not great. | ||
| So, Alex knows that he is a man. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| So, he's a man. | ||
| And he's not afraid. | ||
| A weird, perverse... | ||
| Like, a monstrous idea of a man. | ||
| He's like a bone crusher in that he's never scared. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| The globalists are something to be feared. | ||
| But he's not afraid of them. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, that's nice. | ||
| And he rambles about it. | ||
| Can't live your life in fear. | ||
| He rambles about it so nonsensically in this next clip. | ||
| This is what they're doing. | ||
| Now, I need to tell you this right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| People say, why didn't somebody stand for the globalists? | ||
| Why didn't somebody take action? | ||
| Well, because people are scared. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Cowards. | ||
| And I'll be honest with you. | ||
| I don't want to call it fear because I'm not a big flight guy. | ||
| I'm more of a fight guy. | ||
| But this is me. | ||
| Infowars. | ||
| This whole operation is me seeing a bunch of serious tyrants that think I'm a slave and think you're a slave. | ||
| And they think because I'm not a psychopath or sociopath and I have deep chivalry. | ||
| That I'm a fool. | ||
| No, I'm not a fool. | ||
| Like that iodine, baby. | ||
| Look empty. | ||
| You act empty. | ||
| Your families are ugly and stupid. | ||
| You look like you have been cursed to hell. | ||
| I know you have horrible lives. | ||
| I know all about you. | ||
| I don't want to be with you. | ||
| Understand? | ||
| It's an energy thing. | ||
| I want to go with the energy that loves people and builds things and is open and honorable. | ||
| I will not serve your satanic system ever. | ||
| And I pray that Jesus Christ and the Father and the Holy Spirit moves across the world and gets humanity to awaken before we go into an even deeper level of this, because this is our last chance. | ||
| And Trump is a final signpost on the way to hell, pointing back, saying, go back, go back. | ||
| Now, at the end there... | ||
| What he's saying is that Trump is good in some way because it's warning against the evils of liberalism or whatever. | ||
| Except he's really close to hell. | ||
| He's a sign that you only get to Trump when you're really close to hell. | ||
| And the way I hear that is Trump is a warning that, like, hey, if you go along the path, I'm... | ||
| Taking you down. | ||
| That's where hell goes. | ||
| Also, isn't he referencing, abandon all hope, ye who enter? | ||
| Trump is a sign that says, abandon all hope, ye who enter. | ||
| That's an apt metaphor now. | ||
| That makes perfect sense. | ||
| If you go further, you're fucked. | ||
| Hey, buddy, guess what? | ||
| You're in my world now! | ||
| Fuck off! | ||
| So that's real weird. | ||
| And that rambling nonsense about not being afraid and all this, and Infowars is like this, we fight. | ||
| That stuff. | ||
| It's coming after that weird Soros Dracula impression. | ||
| I'm just sitting here listening to this and I'm like, why are you doing the show anymore? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Fun! | ||
| Why are we doing the show? | ||
| I enjoy it. | ||
| See? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And we found out that he's a fucking murderer today. | ||
| That's a great day. | ||
| It's not a great day. | ||
| We never know what we're going to find under that rock. | ||
| Is it going to be a bug or a confession of murder? | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| And that's what keeps me going. | ||
| It keeps me excited. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And what else am I going to do, quite frankly? | ||
| All right. | ||
| I don't want to do stand-up anymore. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| I don't want a nine-to-five. | ||
| I swear to God, you two are the only people who understand each other. | ||
| Yeah, that's my mission, is to one day... | ||
| Move in together and, oh, I just wrote the best TV show. | ||
| No, odd couple to the max. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Also, what kind of fucking... | ||
| I want to be the Clarice to his Hannibal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| I want to be the guy who's the only person he'll talk to when he's in prison. | ||
| That's the goal. | ||
| I want to fish out a water comedy where you take your first entry-level job at InfoWars and you're all trying to navigate your way to the top. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| How to make it at InfoWars without even trying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| And influence people, of course. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Also, for somebody who claims that he wants to go towards good energy, has he ever put out any positive energy on his show, ever? | ||
| I mean, he's against, like, marijuana arrests. | ||
| Yeah, but he's against it. | ||
| Like, I mean, like a positive... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's a positive outcome. | ||
| That's not a positive energy. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Then no. | ||
| You know, like, there's never been a situation on his show where you're like... | ||
| I actually feel good. | ||
| Well, even when he yells about loving life and stuff like that, it's angry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| It's brutal! | ||
| It's still even like, I love life! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's bad. | ||
| He should go to see someone about his aura. | ||
| Yeah, get his chakras rebalanced. | ||
| That's a good idea. | ||
| Pineal gland. | ||
| We find out later that he's not into mysticism. | ||
| No, I guess. | ||
| But he kind of is. | ||
| He's super into mysticism. | ||
| That's a tease for a little bit later. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So before we get there, you might or may not... | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| Be into mysticism. | ||
| One thing he is into is talking about the devil. | ||
| But this is the final course. | ||
| And that's why the enemy's activating. | ||
| It's why they're getting so satanic. | ||
| It's why they're so hateful now. | ||
| Because they want your soul. | ||
| They want your energy. | ||
| They want to run your mind. | ||
| And they've already turned all their minions over to a form of spiritual possession of just hate. | ||
| But I'm around nation reporters now. | ||
| They literally get right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're just... | |
| That's the spirit. | ||
| It's like zombies. | ||
| And I just look at them and feel sorry for them. | ||
| They don't know how to handle that. | ||
| I mean, these people will do anything. | ||
| They'd love to see us in death camps. | ||
| They already helped China run it. | ||
| So we need financial support. | ||
| Last day, yesterday, I have not come up with new specials yet. | ||
| Easter sale's still going. | ||
| He hasn't come up with new specials? | ||
| No. | ||
| So the old specials that were supposed to end yesterday, still in effect. | ||
| What new specials are there to come up with? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's all the same shit. | ||
| It's the same special. | ||
| Yeah, it's like Taco Bell. | ||
| We've been on two years of the same Easter special, man. | ||
| It's Taco Bell, man. | ||
| It's the same ingredients put into a slightly different combination. | ||
| Bread delivery system. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's all his specials are. | ||
| It's like free shipping on everything. | ||
| 50% off the store. | ||
| I'm going to put Doritos in there? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Volcano sauce. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| You guys sign up for auto shipping. | ||
| We're going to toss in a year's worth of food. | ||
| Oh, buckets. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Alex already has buckets. | ||
| Like, he has survival food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like that that's a thing that we use now. | |
| I don't like that my life involves like, oh yeah, this guy sells buckets of food. | ||
| But who's got more buckets of food? | ||
| Before this show, the only guy who had buckets was fucking Colonel Sanders, Dan. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Good one. | ||
| I don't mean that sarcastically. | ||
| The timing wasn't right for me to laugh. | ||
| And I feel bad about it, but I enjoy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're the best straight man there ever was. | |
| I'm like Dick Smothers over here. | ||
| Wait, that was their son, wasn't it? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I'm letting this go. | ||
| I'm just letting this go. | ||
| Whichever Smothers it was. | ||
| The brothers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man, I read a book about them. | ||
| Those guys were awesome. | ||
| They were awesome. | ||
| They were fucking so much more awesome than we know. | ||
| They were fucking insane, though. | ||
| They were like a rock star duo. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they're real cool. | ||
| I recommend their biography. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| They fuck a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if that's cool or not. | ||
| Their son was a porn star. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Dick's mother's. | ||
| Yeah, he ended up becoming a porn star. | ||
| God, he must have killed a lot of people with that dick. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| The balls. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| See, you know that's called being a great straight man, Dad. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I deserve that. | ||
| So, in this next clip... | ||
| So, Jordan... | ||
| What I would say is that the second hour of this show is a wash. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We're not going to listen to anything from it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because Alex brings in David Knight. | ||
| Oh, come on! | ||
| But as I was listening to it, I couldn't tell if Alex had just left and David Knight was taking over, because he played a four-minute-long promo piece about David Knight's show, The Real News. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's the only one you can still find anywhere. | ||
| But in the promo of it... | ||
| It goes from him doing an introduction of your host, David Knight. | ||
| And then David Knight comes in and it's like, hi, I'm David Knight. | ||
| This is the real news. | ||
| We're talking to Lionel. | ||
| And it's like, ugh. | ||
| It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| This promo package involves coming in from break and part of his real show. | ||
| What is going on? | ||
| It was very confusing. | ||
| But it did include this, and this is probably the only thing I think is worth listening to because it's fucking hysterical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's not sorry when snowflakes can't handle the truth. | |
| It's your host, David Knight. | ||
| He's not sorry if snowflakes can't handle his shit, bro. | ||
| Dude, everyone can handle David Knight's shit. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| That's why he's still allowed on all of these platforms. | ||
| Even everyone who is piling on with Alex was like... | ||
| Oh yeah, David Knight is a zero! | ||
| Interestingly, everyone can handle David Knight, and simultaneously, no one can. | ||
| Because it's so goddamn boring. | ||
| Again, zero. | ||
| There's no positive or negative, he's just there. | ||
| He's just mostly, most of his appearance is Alex trying to get in and being like, yeah, not only that, but... | ||
| And then also, David Knight talking a lot about the fourth turning, which is that philosophy that Steve Bannon ascribes to a lot. | ||
| I read an interview with the... | ||
| The guy who put that forth. | ||
| Not Strauss, because he died in 2007. | ||
| The other guy. | ||
| I think Howe might be his name. | ||
| But I read an article where he was explaining his philosophies. | ||
| And they're not in favor of what Trump is doing, necessarily. | ||
| The actual philosophies are not. | ||
| They kind of lead to this behavior that's being demonstrated by Trump is a negative thing, and it only precipitates more of the crisis. | ||
| That is described by the fourth turning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So again, everything that the conservatives have said they believe this entire time is invalidated and, in fact, 180 degrees from what Trump is actually doing, and they don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So fuck them. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's not really... | ||
| What would happen if Alex goes on David's show? | ||
| Would he do that? | ||
| I think David Knight's been kicked off everything, too. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think it was a slow roll. | ||
| On his part. | ||
| But also, it doesn't matter because David Knight didn't... | ||
| I don't think he had as much sort of traction, as much exposure and stuff like that. | ||
| So I think a lot of his play was coming from getting posted on the Infowars Alex Jones channel and stuff like that. | ||
| So when that's taken away, his reach is diminished entirely as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| So even if the show is still searchable on X, Y, or Z thing, I still don't think it matters that much. | ||
| He's crippled by the same bands that Alex is crippled by. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Stealth move for Alex. | ||
| Slowly take over David Knight's show. | ||
| It's not a terrible idea. | ||
| It's not a terrible idea, right? | ||
| Like, nobody's gonna go for the second kill. | ||
| Everybody's gonna be like, I mean, we got him once. | ||
| Let's just ignore him from here on out. | ||
| And then slowly he's just like, hey, David, I'm gonna do an hour of your show. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then, hey, David, while I'm talking, maybe you don't need to be around so much. | |
| Fundamental problem with that, Alex doesn't want to get on air at 8 in the morning. | ||
| Ooh, that is a big issue. | ||
| Yeah, I think he couldn't get out of bed that early. | ||
| That, I agree, that's the only decision Alex has made in a long time that I support wholly. | ||
| So, I don't, like, we're not going to listen to anything of David Knight's interview, but I forgot that there was this one clip that I think is pretty interesting about David Knight's past. | ||
| So, David Knight, what, six, seven years ago, entered a contest. | ||
| He didn't win the contest, but he ended up moving down here from, what, North Carolina with his family to... | ||
| Sweltering Texas, and I love Texas, but let me tell you, North Carolina is a lot prettier and a lot nicer. | ||
| I mean, I love it up there. | ||
| He pulled up stakes, sold his house, his business, and came down here, and he's helped change the world. | ||
| And I wanted to get him on the one-year anniversary because they've been trying to shut him down, destroying his YouTube channel and 9 million subscribers. | ||
| There's no way he had 9 million real subscribers, but be that as it may. | ||
| He's the Dave Holmes of InfoWars. | ||
| He didn't win the contest, and yet he got his own show. | ||
| Are you telling me that... | ||
| There was a Jesse Camp who won the show. | ||
| So David Knight, in this metaphor, is Mike TV in Willy Wonka. | ||
| Like, he didn't actually win the contest. | ||
| No, but you know who I think did? | ||
| But then Mike TV turned out to run the... | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
| You know who I'm pretty sure did? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Leanne McAdoo. | ||
| Oh, did she win the contest? | ||
| Well, I know that she won a contest in order to become an InfoWars reporter. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| I really don't like the whole contest as test of whether or not you should... | ||
| Turns out a lot of his employees came from contests. | ||
| You know why... | ||
| He loves a fucking contest. | ||
| You know why most major businesses don't hire people based on contests? | ||
| Unreliable. | ||
| Unreliable. | ||
| You're looking for consistency. | ||
| Poor predictor of talent. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever been to a comedy contest, Dan. | ||
| Boy, I've lost some. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not necessarily a measurement of quality or skill. | ||
| At Deja Vu in Columbia, Missouri, there was a comedy contest. | ||
| And I was a part of it, and I lost. | ||
| But one of the nights that I was on... | ||
| There were two musical acts, right? | ||
| Two guitar comedy acts. | ||
| That's brutal. | ||
| One guitar comedy act is awful. | ||
| One of them was a friend of mine, who I'm not going to name because it would seem like I was shitting on him, which I kind of am, but I don't want to make it personal. | ||
| His name's Mike Oldroyd. | ||
| But... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He... | |
| He showed up late. | ||
| So he wasn't there when the first guitar act went on. | ||
| So he didn't know? | ||
| No. | ||
| His act wasn't entirely guitar, but one of his big bits was he would do a cover of Hey There, Delilah. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Did the other guitar guy do a cover? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| No, Dan. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm going to cry. | ||
| His parody of it was, I don't remember the rest of the verses, but the chorus was, Hey, you got some big titties. | ||
| Oh, ones I want to squeeze. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| What's his name again? | ||
| Michael Dredd. | ||
| Still doing comedy. | ||
| I think he's out in L.A. He's probably doing great. | ||
| Good luck out there, buddy. | ||
| I hope that song still kills. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Now he can repurpose it because it's becoming a TV show. | ||
| So the first guitar act also did a parody of Hey There, Delilah. | ||
| That was very similar. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It wasn't exactly the same, but it was very similar. | ||
| But like I said... | ||
| Oldroids showed up after that, so he didn't know. | ||
| And none of us who knew him knew that he was going to do that act until he was walking towards stage with his guitar. | ||
| No! | ||
| And so he gets up on stage and does it, and it usually goes really well at that club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course! | |
| Because it's a club full... | ||
| Because it's what they do. | ||
| Well, and Deja Vu was a club where it was mostly, like, the people who were in the comedy room... | ||
| We're just underage people who knew that they could drink there with fake IDs and stuff like that. | ||
| And you had to go to the show before the dance party downstairs. | ||
| They had a club downstairs and upstairs was the comedy club. | ||
| The comedy business is honest and true. | ||
| It was mostly drunk 18-year-olds who were in the audience, so that sort of fucking thing would generally kill there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| And so just the look in his face when he gets up there and does a Hey There Delilah cover, he's getting nothing but confused looks from the audience. | ||
| It was one of the best days of my life. | ||
| I was like, he was so confused, and I was sitting back there, I was like, yeah. | ||
| That is incredible. | ||
| Just nothing. | ||
| That's an incredible story. | ||
| Nothing from the audience. | ||
| That's an incredible story, Dan. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| We had a lot of fun back in Missouri. | ||
| Oh, man, Missouri. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Hotbed of comedy! | ||
| Alex killed a guy, and we had fun in Missouri. | ||
| Two things you can take away from this story. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, I mean, this is only, we're only, I'm getting wistful because David Knight has come up, and I need to. | ||
| Yeah, we gotta. | ||
| We gotta bail on that. | ||
| So, we get to the third hour here. | ||
| Alex Jones comes in with some of my favorite intro music of his, which is super misplaced on his show, and then says something pretty weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Oh, oh, oh! | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Oh, oh, oh! | ||
| You know this morning? | ||
| I was in there making breakfast with my four children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And getting ready to take three of them to school. | ||
| And I was exhausted and I was tired. | ||
| And I went in and brushed my teeth. | ||
| I looked at my face how old I looked. | ||
| And how exhausted. | ||
| And I just never looked better. | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| What? | ||
| Strongly disagree. | ||
| Has he shaved? | ||
| No. | ||
| Alright, well then, the invalidated. | ||
| And those pictures of when he was 20, he looked great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As much as I'd like to, you know, shit on him. | ||
| Have not seen this. | ||
| Does he look amazing? | ||
| Oh my god, he was built like a brick shithouse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nothing but muscle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So no, you've looked better. | ||
| And hey man, he's got to stop playing Baltimore. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That is so offensive. | ||
| I just want him to play a song and then... | ||
| I would love for him to sing along with that one, too. | ||
| No, but I want him to sing along with the Highwaymen while that song is playing. | ||
| I want him to be singing a completely different song. | ||
| Because if he was singing along with those lyrics, he would have to be like, this seems super gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This seems like a song about being in the closet. | ||
| If Alex just shows up and is like... | ||
| This seems like a... | ||
| Jungle life. | ||
| I'm heading into nowhere. | ||
| On my own like Tarzan boy. | ||
| What if he really does have a good singing voice? | ||
| Night to night. | ||
| Give me the other. | ||
| Give me the other. | ||
| He just can't do it on the show. | ||
| He's putting on his fake voice. | ||
| Maybe he's really got some pipes in there. | ||
| Monkey business. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| A sunny afternoon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, it would be so great. | |
| I fucking love that. | ||
| No, he wouldn't do it like that. | ||
| He would do it right before the lyric. | ||
| He'd be like, Monkey business on a Sunday afternoon. | ||
| Jungle life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love this song. | |
| It's so good. | ||
| Really gets in touch with my... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, I killed a guy. | |
| So it's been speculated on our Facebook group, Go Home and Tell Your Mother You're Brilliant, that Alex must listen to our show because we have Diamond Gusset commercials and him singing along with country music in the last episode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The things that would make us happy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Seems like he's pointing a little bit of a... | ||
| A little tip of the cap. | ||
| A little wink. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this next clip makes me think... | ||
| Then there may be something to that, because the other thing that we really love is when Alex gets super weird and esoteric, and I think he's doing a little bit of that in this next clip. | ||
| I almost started the broadcast with us today, but I'm doing it as we get into the third hour here today. | ||
| That's because I woke up this morning, and I just know I've studied history, and I don't get into mysticism, any of that. | ||
| I just instinctively know that there are things connected. | ||
| That's not really annoying. | ||
| But if you read the history books, there'd be a big war in China and they'd have a giant earthquake. | ||
| Or Rome would be in a big battle and then a volcano would just suddenly erupt. | ||
| This is so close to that guy who was on Jim Baker's show. | ||
| Wasn't it Jim Baker who was talking about there was... | ||
| Or was that even Alex? | ||
| That was Alex! | ||
| He was talking about how before World War I, there was that giant eclipse. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That was Jim Baker. | ||
| That was the eclipse guy. | ||
| That was the blood moon guy. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So think about how similar that is, just purely. | ||
| That's the same sort of thought pattern. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's magical thinking. | ||
| That's creating parallels where none exist and are, in fact, factually accurate. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Or inaccurate. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it gets worse. | ||
| It's 100 miles away. | ||
| It just seems things rhyme. | ||
| Things kind of go. | ||
| You ever been out in the middle of the country? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're watching, you know, you're deer hunting or something, there's a four-way stop of a highway, maybe a quarter mile away, and you're looking through your rifle scope, and you notice no cars come by for like 30 minutes, but all of a sudden, four cars come right at the same time. | ||
| And you wait about an hour and eat your sack lunch and, you know, sit back and get out your little, you know, get out your little hot toddy thermos, a little bit of Jack Daniels and coffee, and you're sitting there. | ||
| It's not a hot toddy. | ||
| Four cars come at exactly the same time again. | ||
| And you're like, that was twice. | ||
| Then it happens again. | ||
| While you're up in the mirror standing. | ||
| Let's be clear. | ||
| He's talking about coincidence. | ||
| That's all he's describing is, ah, that's weird. | ||
| You ever look outside the window and you see four birds, but then for a week you haven't seen a bird, and then you see four birds again? | ||
| That's just science. | ||
| You ever see four cars going down the road, maybe a caravan of people traveling together? | ||
| What a weird thing. | ||
| That proves magic. | ||
| But he doesn't get into mysticism. | ||
| You ever stop at a stoplight, see all those cars, and then when the light turns green, less cars go away? | ||
| Weird. | ||
| But, like I said, he's not into mysticism. | ||
| Have you ever heard of traffic patterns? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Fluid dynamics. | ||
| There's weird rhymes in as above, so below in the world. | ||
| As above, so below. | ||
| I woke up this morning because my son's bathroom's broken, so he came in and woke me up in my shower, in my bathroom. | ||
| God love him. | ||
| I don't know why he announced, I'm taking a shower as he walks to the bedroom, but okay. | ||
| I've just gone to bed two hours before. | ||
| I'm not complaining, it's just I'm going back to that moment. | ||
| And I've been having a dream about volcanoes and earthquakes and meteors hitting the earth. | ||
| And I just sat up in my chair, and I went, you know, with all these world changes going on, and all these wars, and all this tectonic stuff, I just wonder if history will align again, the planets will align, with all this, you know, literal planetary alignment going on, if we're going to see some big earthquakes. | ||
| And I just said, go on air, Alex. | ||
| It's like I thought they were going to blow up the World Trade Center, and I described it all, how they blame Bin Laden, because I just had a feeling, and I had some dreams. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And I'm on record with that. | ||
| I don't get into this a lot, but I do have what they call the touch. | ||
| What? | ||
| You have the shining? | ||
| They're con artists and they can't control it. | ||
| No one can control it, in my experience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| In fact, the way to control it is not to control it. | ||
| What? | ||
| Go to Hogwarts! | ||
| I think there's going to be some big earthquakes. | ||
| And I think there's going to be some big volcanoes. | ||
| I think there's going to be some big stuff kicking off in the next few months. | ||
| And I mean, the biggest probably we've recorded since they've been recording this in the last 200 years. | ||
| Okay, so we got a prediction there, but also, Alex killed a guy and is a psychic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did he need that weird story about his son? | |
| He could have just said he had some dreams where he's the prophet or whatever the fucking shit it is. | ||
| Where he has the goddamn shining and he can see events in the past. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| Because you'd never believe it if it wasn't grounded in the I'm annoyed by my son wanting to take a shower. | ||
| I would totally not believe it either way. | ||
| Now I just feel creepy about thinking about his son in the shower now. | ||
| But I also think that that's probably, like, you've already heard a couple times he's talked about, like, I'm making breakfast with my four kids. | ||
| He's kind of really ramming home that he has his kids. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You think it's almost like a little posturing, kind of peacocking kind of move. | ||
| Well, I feel like it's kind of like people make fun of him. | ||
| You had your kids taken away and stuff like that. | ||
| So he's defensive about it. | ||
| Like, I made breakfast with my kids, you dumb asshole. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That sort of thing. | ||
| I think all of that... | ||
| I even let my kids use my shower. | ||
| I think all of that is so... | ||
| While I dream about the future. | ||
| That's so less important than... | ||
| I'm not into mystical shit. | ||
| Also, I have the touch. | ||
| It's like, what? | ||
| In two minutes, he's like, I'm not into that stuff, but I should tell you, for my entire life, I have been able to tell the future. | ||
| Like, I know in the 2015 stuff, we did see him say that he had a prophetic dream and stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But even that is kind of on a level that you can be like, all right, that's a one-off. | ||
| He's bullshitting. | ||
| Or it's a one-off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just got, like, some sort of a weird vision. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Now he's like... | ||
| This is my whole life. | ||
| I predicted 9-11. | ||
| That's not hard to predict. | ||
| Bin Laden was involved with the original bombing. | ||
| No, in fact, he said he was going to do it again. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's almost like you just took a man at his word. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's also many other people who had gone on record saying that this was going to happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's not like he... | ||
| That does not require prophecy. | ||
| But Alex Jones was on Coast to Coast AM last night. | ||
| Oh, did he talk about a prophecy? | ||
| I didn't listen to it, but the other guest that was on was talking about prophecy. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| So I think he might have listened to the other guest. | ||
| So you think he was listening to that and he was like... | ||
| Fuck you if you think you can prophesy. | ||
| I've been a prophet the whole time. | ||
| I can do better than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there might be a piece of that. | ||
| He's so jealous and petty and pathetic. | ||
| I think there's a possibility. | ||
| Or he went to sleep listening to the rest of the show and it just got in his subconscious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or he went to sleep singing, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
| Jungle life. | ||
| I'm going to record a cover of that just as Alex. | ||
| Now, see, there's our money-making operation. | ||
| We just record pop songs in Alex's voice. | ||
| Alex Jones karaoke tracks. | ||
| Coming soon to our Patreon. | ||
| So... | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Alex has a prophecy, and he's putting it out there on the air because part of the prophecy was, get on air and talk about this. | ||
| And so it leads to... | ||
| Did he really just say that he has the touch? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| He said he has the touch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that like a colloquial thing for psychics in the South? | ||
| He might be. | ||
| Like Stephen King in Maine has The Shining and in the South it's like... | ||
| You can see the future so you have the touch, which I don't... | ||
| Like, shouldn't he be able to heal people or something like that? | ||
| Well, that's the... | ||
| Doesn't that suggest some sort of kinetic energy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, because he is the one who has been touched. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| The power of touch. | ||
| Oh, no, okay. | ||
| Now that makes sense. | ||
| I retract my entire question. | ||
| He's the recipient of touch. | ||
| Makes perfect sense. | ||
| I was trying to go through the lyrics in my head while you were asking that question of the Shawn Michaels entrance music. | ||
| I'm a sexy boy. | ||
| See, that's a thing that you would do. | ||
| I got the moves that really move him. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| But I can't remember if he says he's got the touch in there or anything. | ||
| He's just a sexy boy. | ||
| Sexy boy! | ||
| I was thinking of the Daft Punk track, Touch. | ||
| It's a good song. | ||
| Never used as an intro song for a pro wrestler. | ||
| No, it was never used. | ||
| Touch. | ||
| I remember touch. | ||
| That's sad. | ||
| Robots in my mind. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So Alex has made this prophecy prediction from his dream of earthquakes and volcanoes, and it leads us here after he rambles for another couple minutes about nonsense. | ||
| And I love this transition of his fears. | ||
| I'm just telling you, you know, I woke up this morning thinking about earthquakes and volcanoes, which I never do. | ||
| And I think everybody senses this is the big change. | ||
| This is the big deal. | ||
| And you've got these soul reapers, these soul suckers. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| We are dealing with a literal spiritual vampire invasion, folks. | ||
| They're activating people everywhere. | ||
| They're acting like absolute monster animals because they are. | ||
| They're gone. | ||
| They are completely jacked. | ||
| They turned over their consciousness to whatever this, you know. | ||
| Stuff is that floats around in deep space and attaches itself to people. | ||
| What? | ||
| Is this event horizon? | ||
| I'm real sorry for him, but it's good to know Jesus, isn't it? | ||
| It's good to not be a devil worshiper. | ||
| We'll be back. | ||
| I'm going to give the number out when we come back. | ||
| Stay with us. | ||
| Thank God you're not into mysticism. | ||
| Mystical stuff. | ||
| So, whatever out there in space. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Some sort of demonic, soul-sucking, vampiric thing. | ||
| Are we talking like some Venom shit? | ||
| Is he talking about symbiotes? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think that's probably too extreme because then it would affect your appearance, right? | ||
| Oh, that's true. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You would get the suit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That would be... | ||
| Really gauche for an alien race to do, because you'd get picked out of the lineup so easily. | ||
| That's always been my biggest issue with the Spider-Man comics. | ||
| Too gauche. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| What about some subtle alien symbiotes, Dan? | ||
| I mean, we are one hair's length here away from reptilian shapeshifters, quite frankly. | ||
| Oh, absolutely! | ||
| We are spiritually not far off. | ||
| We are not far off. | ||
| We're not... | ||
| It's the same fucking shit! | ||
| It's the same shit! | ||
| It's not like we're not far off. | ||
| It's that he's literally said there are things in space, demons, that attach themselves to human beings and then change their abilities and appearance and so on and so forth. | ||
| And they smell like sulfur and all that shit. | ||
| Isn't it great to know Jesus, though, Dan? | ||
| But I'm not into mystical shit. | ||
| And I'm a psychic. | ||
| Does this mean that Jesus fights aliens on a regular basis? | ||
| I mean, it must. | ||
| Or at least Jesus' boys do. | ||
| You know, like his peeps. | ||
| Now, I would read a graphic novel about that. | ||
| I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| All right, let's get our friends who write comics on the blower. | ||
| Let's call Elliot Rahal up and see if he can make us a Jesus vs. | ||
| Aliens comic. | ||
| Where's Jakari Jackson when you need him? | ||
| Come on, Jakari. | ||
| Come on, Jakari. | ||
| So, we move on here from Alex's prophecy corner, maybe we'll call it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And we get into now what I describe as him being a little bit petty, which is not too surprising. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say. | ||
| This is really funny to me. | ||
| Well, Michelle Wolf, the worst comic I've ever seen. | ||
| Another one of these women that they force feed that's politically correct and says cuss words every three seconds. | ||
| Her show's being canceled. | ||
| Another one bites the dust. | ||
| The opposition. | ||
| A show that stole my identity and said horrible racist things I never said. | ||
| No ratings. | ||
| Everybody hates you. | ||
| Another one bites the dust. | ||
| Alex, you're on like 40 radio stations in shortwave. | ||
| What are you doing, man? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| It's one thing for him to have his empire intact and everything be fine and then gloat about Michelle Wolf's show getting cancelled because he wouldn't give a shit about her except she criticized the president and he's got to be like, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And then the opposition getting cancelled. | ||
| It's one thing if you are doing well to then have that schadenfreude of like, fuck you, all you people who are against me. | ||
| You're doing badly, Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's so delusional to be like, oh, you guys got your show cancelled. | ||
| So did you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And couldn't even get a show! | |
| Like, Fox News wouldn't even have you on. | ||
| Also, come on, man. | ||
| There are ways to criticize female comedians that don't wind up being... | ||
| Female comedians are forced upon you. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Women can be just as unfunny as men, and it has nothing to do with women. | ||
| Right, and they can be as offensive as they want to be, and it has nothing to do with their femininity or being a woman. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| I can't do dudes criticizing female comics. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| They're just comics. | ||
| And if you throw female in there, I get pissed. | ||
| What if you say comedian? | ||
| Oh, no, that's frustrating. | ||
| You don't like that? | ||
| I've been in so many fucking lineups where you wind up, the host is like, all right, now we got a lady comic going up, and I'm like, fuck you! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And like I said... | ||
| He's gloating about them getting their shows canceled, but he doesn't have a show and never will. | ||
| It reminds me of a line that I think it was Brother Ali had in a battle that he did with Idea. | ||
| Idea had made fun of him for how many tapes he had sold. | ||
| And Brother Ali's response to it in the battle was, you talk about my tape, at least I got a tape! | ||
| You know, that sort of thing. | ||
| It's like, Alex, you're talking about their shows. | ||
| At least they had shows, you dumbass! | ||
| You're unpopular and toxic to an extent that Fox News would not let... | ||
| Like, Tucker is defending Alex. | ||
| He'd never have him on. | ||
| Oh, good God, no! | ||
| Which... | ||
| Maybe in a week I'll have to walk back when he has him on. | ||
| Entirely possible. | ||
| But it seems to me right now it would be a perfect time when Tucker is defending him. | ||
| Why not have him on as a guest? | ||
| Wouldn't that be the logical thing to do? | ||
| But no, he won't. | ||
| Because they're probably like, no way let him on the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These are lunatic. | ||
| No Fox News programming director is going to be like, hey listen, we agree with you. | ||
| We're fucking racist as shit too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| No, we can't do this. | ||
| Tucker, you're damn close to him spiritually, but you're a pro. | ||
| No, you're the same thing. | ||
| You got away with wearing a bow tie for years, man. | ||
| Way too long. | ||
| And you were capable of evolving to the point where you no longer wear a bow tie. | ||
| Alex is spiritually wearing the shittiest bow tie of all time. | ||
| And he's going to keep wearing it. | ||
| There are few people who can survive a bow tie phase. | ||
| Or, maybe, they invited Alex on, but they were like... | ||
| You gotta shave that fucking beard. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It looks awful. | ||
| If you want to go on TV ever, shave the beard. | ||
| If Alex got invited and turned them down, he would never stop talking about it. | ||
| I know that from this character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's true. | |
| That's true. | ||
| He's not been invited. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| We get back to Soros in this next clip. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Alex says something interesting about him, and the way he says it is kind of gross, but it's actually a really fun instance because we get to debunk another thing that he says about Soros, kind of a new thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Because, see, George Soros walks as a man. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All of you are there to drink fluoride and get brainwashed in the schools and eat GMO until you roll up. | ||
| Double X's in your eyes. | ||
| Like a cartoon. | ||
| Because this earth belongs to him. | ||
| He's a man. | ||
| You're an animal. | ||
| He just didn't like Hitler because Hitler was trying to take over before he did. | ||
| Soros wrote in books and in articles in the 80s that he believes he is Jesus Christ. | ||
| The Messiah. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Think about that one. | |
| Remember, he thinks he's better than you? | ||
| His little demon son and all the rest of them thinks they're better than you and your family. | ||
| That's so gross when he's trying to do some ASMR there at the end. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think it's a bad idea to really kind of dig into the ASMR world. | |
| It's very popular. | ||
| You are very relaxed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, what if we did our show in ASMR zones? | |
| Crinkling, crinkling, crinkling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is the next web series that we should do. | |
| If we did one ASMR episode, it would be fucking insane. | ||
| Or ASMR Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, he's just like, here's some aluminum foil I'm crumbling up. | |
| The world is ending, and they're trying to... | ||
| When I, the globalists, look at your family and they want to take them into the basement. | ||
| This is so relaxing. | ||
| They take them into the basement and they put them on a table and they roll their hands up into smaller tables and they put their parents on the tables made out of their hands and I am bad at ASMR videos! | ||
| Now listeners have sent in words they want me to say. | ||
| Because they find them soothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Poppycock. | |
| Krugerrand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Suckatash. | |
| Man, we should do a whole episode of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Booyah. | |
| Booyah, baes. | ||
| Booyah. | ||
| Booyah, baes. | ||
| Booyah, baes, booyah. | ||
| Oh, that's a very delicious cold soup. | ||
| Booyah, baes, booyah, booyah. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Nah, I'm gonna go with no. | ||
| Three words in a row. | ||
| I'm gonna go with no. | ||
| So Alex is saying that Soros in books and stuff over the years has said that he believes himself to be Jesus Christ, which is slightly inaccurate. | ||
| This is a misrepresentation of a quote from his book, The Alchemy of Finance. | ||
| Quote, I admit that I have always harbored an exaggerated view of my self-importance. | ||
| To put it bluntly, I fancied myself as some kind of god or economic reformer like Keyes. | ||
| Each with his general theory. | ||
| Or even better, a scientist like Einstein. | ||
| So when he's saying that, he's talking about the delusions of his youth. | ||
| He's talking about the self-importance that he felt that has been corrected through maturing and becoming older. | ||
| There's a further quote from his book Underwriting Democracy. | ||
| That everybody throws around, everybody who insults and critiques Soros, that goes like this. | ||
| Quote, if truth be known, I carried some rather potent messianic fantasies with me from childhood, which I felt I had to control, otherwise I might end up in the loony bin. | ||
| But when I made my way to the world, I wanted to indulge myself and my fantasies to the extent that I could afford. | ||
| So that is a paraphrase. | ||
| That's not even the right quote, but it's also selected. | ||
| The larger context of the quote, where it comes from the text, puts it into perspective. | ||
| Quote, | ||
| confirmed egoist but I considered the pursuit of self-interest as too narrow a base for my rather inflated self right if truth be known I carried some rather potent messianic fantasies with me from childhood which I felt I had to control otherwise they might get me into trouble but when I had my way in the world I wanted to indulge my fantasies to the The messianic fantasies he had... | ||
| He has disgust come from the fact that he survived the Holocaust. | ||
| And the way he wanted to indulge his fantasies is that he wanted to set up ways to help promote free societies. | ||
| Another quote from that same book. | ||
| Quote, I realized I cared passionately about the concept of an open society in which people like me could enjoy freedom without being hounded to death. | ||
| Accordingly, I called my foundation the Open Society Fund with the objective of making open societies viable and helping to open up closed societies. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So instead of experiencing massive, debilitating survivor's guilt, he channeled that somehow instead into almost a... | ||
| The only reason I could have survived is because I am something special, is because I have some gift or some... | ||
| Which is a very understandable delusion of youth. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's a delusion of grandeur for sure. | ||
| Of youth, too. | ||
| It's very understandable that someone in the circumstances that he was in, and when you add in all the other context of his heroic father, who was a shining example to him throughout all that horrible experience, you kind of do get very understandable. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| That sort of mentality that goes away with time. | ||
| And that is what he expresses in these quotes, if you look at them in context. | ||
| Not to say that he's a perfect person or anything like that, but all of these things that they use to attack him are ludicrous. | ||
| There are reasonable critiques you could make, and they some reason, I'm not sure why... | ||
| They only choose to use bullshit ones. | ||
| I don't know why that is. | ||
| It's very curious. | ||
| That is. | ||
| I can't think of any reason. | ||
| Like, for me... | ||
| I think it's they're lazy. | ||
| For me, I mean, like, just the idea of being a billionaire, regardless of how philanthropic you may be, is a crime unto itself. | ||
| So, we could just talk about billionaires. | ||
| But if you start talking about billionaires... | ||
| You gotta start talking about other billionaires, too. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| It's almost like if you apply some sort of standard, it would have to then apply to your team as well. | ||
| And they don't like that. | ||
| No. | ||
| So they pick one... | ||
| Fake standard in order to demonize the team that they don't like. | ||
| It's so funny, too, because Alex will throw around these studies that have been done about how most billionaires donate to Democratic candidates, and that is actually accurate. | ||
| It's like a 60-something percent thing, but every study that you read, if you actually get into the finer points of it, go into saying a lot of the people on the right donate to... | ||
| Like, hidden funds and stuff like that. | ||
| Like the donor fund and stuff like that. | ||
| So the idea of these studies, even in the studies themselves, they have the, like, well, there's a lot of donations that go on that we have no idea who's giving what money where. | ||
| So it's crazy to see that donors who donate large amounts of money to the Democratic Party... | ||
| Are not as interested in hiding it from the rest of the world as people who donate to the Republican Party. | ||
| Sixty-something percent of the donors who are willing to be in public are Democratic donors. | ||
| So it doesn't really prove anything. | ||
| But billionaires on both sides, let's eat them. | ||
| Let's kill them. | ||
| They're the fucking Chase Bank. | ||
| Of people. | ||
| Man, I'm still mad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking kill them. | |
| Still mad. | ||
| Feeling a little better, though. | ||
| Feeling a little better. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| No more billionaires. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, I think it's morally suspicious. | ||
| So, this next clip. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| I don't know any other way to tell you. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| So, he starts by getting into his themes about, like, how he's going to get blamed when the media false flags themselves. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Which is fun. | ||
| But where it goes. | ||
| Nobody could predict. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| They're trying to shut down our shopping cart at InfoWarsStore.com, but they haven't gotten to that point. | ||
| They need to stage an attack on the New York Times, the Washington Post, or CNN, and then have a Patsy that gets killed in the stairwell and the real gunman get away. | ||
| They've got to truck up a federal building and blame it on me. | ||
| Oh, you remember that? | ||
| That's already happened to CNN, that guy who said he was going to come kill everybody and then got arrested? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| You know, and find some crazy former, you know, army officer or something who's drugged up, doesn't know who he is, you know, with my books and videos laying in his front seats. | ||
| I mean, that'll be the same replay. | ||
| They always do that. | ||
| They blame Limbaugh in 95. They're getting ready to do it to me and Trump. | ||
| He's talking about Oklahoma City. | ||
| I mean, it's a whole bad rollout, you know. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| How do you know McRib's back at McDonald's? | ||
| Well, I'll see the billboards. | ||
| You know, it's like, hey, Oklahoma City, it's back. | ||
| This time we're blaming Alex Jones and Trump. | ||
| Get ready. | ||
| And the New York Times, Washington Post, we're all getting death threats. | ||
| Oh, we're poor little babies. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Alex Jones wants to kill us. | ||
| You're lying sacks of garbage. | ||
| Also, the McRib is coming. | ||
| And so the false flag is a-coming. | ||
| I hear the train a-coming. | ||
| It's rolling round the bend. | ||
| And I ain't seen the sunshine since. | ||
| I don't know when. | ||
| I'm stuck in police state prison. | ||
| And time keeps dragging on. | ||
| I gotta tell ya, I bet there's rich folks eating in a fancy dining car. | ||
| They're probably drinking coffee and smoking big cigars. | ||
| You know, I knew I had it coming. | ||
| I knew I can't be free. | ||
| But that train keeps a-blowing, and that's what tortures me. | ||
| Yeah, when I was just a baby, mama told me, son, always be a good boy. | ||
| Don't ever play with guns. | ||
| But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| We're going to go to break and come back with your calls. | ||
| And then I've got a bunch of other news I haven't gotten to yet. | ||
| Was that his parody version of Hey There, Delilah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if it's a great idea to sing I Shot a Man in Reno Just to Watch Him Die on the same episode you say that you killed a guy. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Seems like a weird thematic. | ||
| You're making a connection that no one else could possibly have made. | ||
| When he says he killed a guy, and then he starts talking about killing a guy, and then sings a song about killing a guy. | ||
| There's no reason to connect those dots, Dan! | ||
| You're a conspiracy theorist! | ||
| It's just weird, man. | ||
| You're false flagging yourself! | ||
| I don't know that there's any real connection, and Lord knows we can never know what goes on in the minds of weirdos like this. | ||
| Especially his. | ||
| But dude, the idea that you're doing that, out of nowhere, reciting. | ||
| Dramatically. | ||
| The entire, like most of the lyrics to Folsom Prison Blues, when nary an hour and a half earlier you said, I've never killed anybody. | ||
| Technically. | ||
| Technically. | ||
| There was one guy. | ||
| Technically. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| This is super fucked up. | ||
| This is a weird episode. | ||
| I am really starting to like Alex not allowed on regular social media anymore, Alex. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| He's getting wild! | ||
| He's now back to the point where he fucking doesn't think anyone's listening. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't fucking give a shit. | ||
| No one's listening to this shit. | ||
| I could confess to murder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, fuck it! | |
| It's nuts. | ||
| So, in this next clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of those abortions I did with my hand. | |
| I don't think this will get us the million dollars or anything like that. | ||
| But I do think that this would be maybe a piece of my argument that Alex is advocating violence against his enemies. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But if they start the Civil War and start getting really, really violent with everybody, we're going to have to really do what must be done. | ||
| And we're just going to have to, for our families and everybody else's future and everything, be very, very firm. | ||
| I take no pleasure. | ||
| In the fact that we're going to have to defend ourselves, and I would take no pleasure, you know, if Antifa tried to come to my house or someone else's house to attack me and to defend yourself, it's like stepping on a cockroach. | ||
| And I'm like, oh man, cockroach, I don't like having a bunch of exterminators here. | ||
| Oh, come here, buddy. | ||
| I'm going to have to get a napkin and just crush your head as quickly as possible and get you in the trash can. | ||
| I mean, I don't like killing cockroaches. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| The media are a pack of liars. | ||
| I would never offensively attack anybody, and they know it, but they're putting all of that out there. | ||
| So, I don't... | ||
| You know, there's a rich tradition of calling your enemies cockroaches. | ||
| What does he think he's saying? | ||
| I think that he's saying that he's such a good guy that he would only, if people came to his house, he would kill them but wouldn't enjoy it. | ||
| But it seems like he's enjoying talking about it. | ||
| Does that? | ||
| Because he does it a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that really a, does he think that's in the plus column? | |
| Does he think that's in a pro? | ||
| Like, hey, I wouldn't enjoy murdering them. | ||
| Only dogs do I enjoy murdering. | ||
| And that one guy. | ||
| And that one guy. | ||
| That one guy. | ||
| Really liked it. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It was a good idea at the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, we all have, like, you know, get-rich-quick schemes that sound good in the moment, killing a guy, any of these things. | ||
| You know, we're all foolish. | ||
| Having that eighth shot, who knows? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| But that's violent. | ||
| Like, I know that he's not threatening violence and he always couches it cowardly. | ||
| No, he is. | ||
| He's absolutely threatening violence. | ||
| He's just doing it in the trappings of somebody who's saying... | ||
| No, it's not even that. | ||
| It's offensive defense. | ||
| It's not even that. | ||
| It's saying that I am suggesting that these people are so low and so evil that my first preference is to save them. | ||
| But because they have gone so far, I now have no choice. | ||
| But to stomp them underneath my boot. | ||
| Like a cockroach. | ||
| That means that not only are you now justified in murdering them, but not only that, you can then... | ||
| Feel like you're taking the moral high ground for not enjoying murdering them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For feeling as though it is one's duty as opposed to something that you delight in, like the fucking psychopath you are. | ||
| And along the way, dehumanizing them. | ||
| Absolutely! | ||
| My enemies are cockroaches. | ||
| Absolutely! | ||
| I mean, we heard earlier him saying that Soros thinks you're an animal and stuff like that, and quite frankly, the only people I ever hear dehumanizing people calling them animals are Trump and Alex. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| That is who dehumanizes. | ||
| Demonizes people. | ||
| Trump calling Omarosa a dog. | ||
| She's a dog. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| Calling everyone he disagrees with animals. | ||
| Would that be hilarious if Alex called her Nonc? | ||
| Nonc. | ||
| Can't remember his other dog's name because Nonc is too good. | ||
| Nonc is too good. | ||
| Feel real bad for that forgotten dog's name. | ||
| I just did the cross. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| So he goes on even further here. | ||
| So that is still like that. | ||
| Last clip was couched in the auspices of defensive violence, and that's how he gets away with all this violent talk. | ||
| But in this next clip, what he's talking about, I don't know how someone could hear this and not respond by thinking about, like, well, we better fucking kill these people. | ||
| Let me just be a thousand percent clear. | ||
| I have security, so I'm not sitting there sleeping with a battle rifle behind my bed. | ||
| But the idea that Twitter... | ||
| First of all, I just want to stop there to say that he always complains about celebrities having armed guards. | ||
| And now he's saying, I have security. | ||
| I don't have a battle rifle by my bed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, he has security. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| But not like in a pussy way. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That it's violent to say that if you come to my house trying to hurt me or my family, I'll defend myself. | ||
| The crime to the left, the authoritarians, is standing up to them. | ||
| And so they see that as offensively violent. | ||
| If you're asleep in your bed and five armed men come to kill you. | ||
| If you do not open your chest and present it and kneel and kiss the Antifa boot, you are a terrorist and a Nazi. | ||
| If you roll over and squeal and beg and say, you're a god, you're the most powerful human on earth, Antifa has defeated me, they go, good, and then shove the rifle in your mouth and pull the trigger and go, ah! | ||
| And then Jack Dorsey, or I guess Twitter, would say, oh, Alex is a liberal! | ||
| He likes the death camps in China. | ||
| He likes Tim Cook. | ||
| Alex is learning. | ||
| You're learning with the stimuli, Alex. | ||
| Fourth character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're learning the stimuli, my boy. | |
| Good. | ||
| You're submitting well. | ||
| There might be a place for you in all of this, my boy, if you'll simply continue along the current path of submission. | ||
| His British characters are his best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Fake laugh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, because it's in character. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That doesn't count. | ||
| I just haven't heard you say fake laugh in a while. | ||
| We haven't heard of fake laugh in a while. | ||
| He hasn't felt... | ||
| Fake laughter in a long time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to say fake laugh, Dan. | ||
| I want to. | ||
| And the people want it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody loves it. | ||
| Everybody loves it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I mean, that's gross. | ||
| I mean, the message that he's sort of putting out there is that, like, these enemies that we have, this vision of Antifa that I want you to be afraid of, they just want you to submit to them. | ||
| And if you stand up to them, that's the greatest crime ever. | ||
| But if you submit to them, then they're going to kill you anyway. | ||
| So there is a message that he's putting out that is, with these people, no matter what you do, they're trying to kill you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And if that is the truth, it logically follows that you have to kill them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I know that he's not saying kill these people or anything like that, because he's smart enough to not do that most of the time, but that is the message that people hear. | ||
| It's important that, like, I know that you can't hold him responsible for what people hear because of the way our laws work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And people erring on the side of free speech. | ||
| Which I support. | ||
| But it's ludicrous to say that he's not advocating violence. | ||
| It's absurd. | ||
| It's not legally actionable, but that is what he's doing. | ||
| What? | ||
| Do you want to go into the book of Deuteronomy? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| Like, anyone who breaks these commandments shall then be put to death. | ||
| And fucking a dude is one of those commandments. | ||
| That's Leviticus. | ||
| It always picks up your books. | ||
| I know, but Deuteronomy is the one that's all obsessed with laws and those guys are fucking assholes. | ||
| So is Leviticus. | ||
| I know, but Deuteronomy is... | ||
| Anyways. | ||
| There's a lot of laws in the Old Testament. | ||
| Leviticus was written by the Deuteronomists, so to speak. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| The fucking law-based class. | ||
| But that's like that idea of like, no, no, no. | ||
| I don't personally hate gay people. | ||
| I just believe that the Bible is a living, a true document, and everything in it is literal and should be taken as such. | ||
| And yeah, sure, the Bible says that they should be killed, and I don't want to do it, but I think that the Bible should be followed in all of its ways, and I'm not advocating violence. | ||
| I'm just saying that if you follow the Bible, it means that you should absolutely fucking kill. | ||
| It's a weird, like, cowardly, ah, sucks for you kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| No, I love gay people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| God who hates him. | ||
| So weird, right? | ||
| Who am I to go against the word of God? | ||
| Oh, it'd be crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nuts. | |
| What am I, some guy? | ||
| Please. | ||
| Also, didn't he just give a perfect defense of why we should rise up and overthrow our billionaire overlords? | ||
| Walk me through that. | ||
| Well, his idea there is that, of course, the... | ||
| Only thing that they hate more than submission is refusing to submit, and they're going to kill you anyways. | ||
| And so your only option then is to kill them, right? | ||
| So what is our billionaire overlord class other than somebody who is stamping on all of our fucking throats, coming to our goddamn homes, and murdering us? | ||
| If you borrow the rhetoric and sort of tweak it a little, yeah. | ||
| I mean, not rhetoric. | ||
| I mean, just the logical follow-through. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| If you borrow it and tweak it a little, yeah, there's something to be said for that. | ||
| Speaking as someone who had Chase Banks steal my bread, basically. | ||
| Yeah, they came to your house. | ||
| More or less. | ||
| They had five guys stamp on your throat, steal $35 from you. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Or $30? | ||
| This is embarrassing. | ||
| And then they fucking put a gun in your mouth and said, deal with it. | ||
| Yeah, more or less. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| And I said, hooray. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Did you do a British accent? | ||
| Oi, mate! | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't do good British accents. | |
| Crikey! | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You're welcome. | ||
| I'm going to be on SNL. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| What's your third character? | ||
| My third character... | ||
| Alex Jones is one of them. | ||
| Hey, how's it going? | ||
| ASMR, Alex Jones. | ||
| Now that's actually a good character. | ||
| That legit is a good character. | ||
| That might come into my reel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's going in there. | ||
| So, in this next clip, we only got a couple left here. | ||
| This was not the result of a fun ad pivot, necessarily, but I wanted to keep this in because we heard in our Out of Context drop a really angry sales pitch where he's screaming about how great his deals are. | ||
| And this is how sort of... | ||
| Buy this, Tyson! | ||
| This is just an indication of how all over the place he is throughout the show. | ||
| I'm going to go to Brent and come back right with your calls. | ||
| I promise it might be a good boy, Dave. | ||
| I want to take your calls. | ||
| Gross. | ||
| I haven't even plugged this hour. | ||
| If you don't finance this, they'll win, which, whatever. | ||
| It's all in God's plan. | ||
| We just got great supplements, great books, great films, great t-shirts, great everything. | ||
| And the big sales posted in yesterday. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff that's about to sell out. | ||
| Like X, too. | ||
| It's about mortality and brain force is low and everything else. | ||
| But that's what we're doing. | ||
| Especially tomorrow. | ||
| The toothpaste, 50% off fluoride free. | ||
| Closed fluoride on fortified. | ||
| It's all 40, 50% off. | ||
| It's just fight the bully, save the internet. | ||
| It's just rote. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's up in these highs of screaming about how great the deals are, and then like an hour later, he's, yeah, fucking stuff. | ||
| Just buy it. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| You know, I don't trust the sales pitch of, like, we have great everything. | ||
| Like, I would never... | ||
| You mean the yelling one? | ||
| No, like, I would never, ever suggest that we have great... | ||
| Like, every one of our episodes is great. | ||
| There have been a few misses. | ||
| No, not even that. | ||
| I'm just saying, like, oh, you came to this show for Alex Jones and we're doing a Jim Baker episode. | ||
| That doesn't mean that the Jim Baker episode isn't good. | ||
| It just means, like, maybe it's not for you. | ||
| Like, hey, this colloidal silver is good. | ||
| Maybe it's good for you. | ||
| Maybe it's not good for other people. | ||
| Think about your own decisions in your own life and what you want to do, and maybe you'll like it. | ||
| Maybe you won't. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| Live your own life. | ||
| Maybe that's why I'm a bad salesman. | ||
| That's a terrible sales pitch. | ||
| That's a terrible sales pitch. | ||
| Yeah, and even, like, I wanted to talk you back a little bit. | ||
| I wanted to be like, yeah, if you want Alex Jones, you might not like Jim Baker. | ||
| And quite frankly, a lot of people, this whole show isn't for it. | ||
| So maybe you don't even like any of the stuff we do. | ||
| The salesperson is trying to not get a sale. | ||
| Look, I like it. | ||
| I get it while you don't. | ||
| You might not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I accept that and I don't think you're wrong at all. | |
| It's the same thing that I have to deal with with the spicy food a lot. | ||
| You know, like last night I went out and got some Thai with a friend of the show, Kevin Hogan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great friend of the show, Kevin. | ||
| And I had to wrestle with the idea of like, hey, you want a carrot? | ||
| You want one of these carrots? | ||
| And like... | ||
| I had to roll with the idea that I love really spicy stuff, but not everybody does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| In the same way I was trying to get you to eat one of my Thai peppers that I've grown. | ||
| And it's just rude of me to expect you to enjoy that, just because I enjoy it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's how I feel about our podcast. | ||
| This is why we are terrible at this. | ||
| We're destined for failure. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Anyway, you got one more clip here, Jordan. | ||
| So, I told you that the reason that I came back to the present day and decided to stick around here for a little while was I wanted to see Alex's approach to the Cohen and Manafort news from the day. | ||
| And towards the end of the show, he finally touches on it. | ||
| And he's got a really rock-solid position on Cohen. | ||
| Because the Manafort stuff hasn't broken yet by the time Paul Joseph Watson takes over. | ||
| It was a strange three-hour period we all lived through, right? | ||
| Yep, and Alex had already hit the whiskey, or hot toddies, as it were, and let Paul Joseph Watson take over. | ||
| But he does say this before he gets off air. | ||
| They're saying that Michael Cohen trumps one of his many lawyers, one of his disgraced lawyers, who'd been caught lying, you name it. | ||
| Not like Rudy Giuliani? | ||
| One of his disgraced lawyers who have been caught lying. | ||
| You should probably at most have one lawyer who has been disgraced and caught lying. | ||
| You should not have one of many lawyers who has been caught lying. | ||
| Dicey. | ||
| With his taxi company, nothing to do with Trump. | ||
| They've got him. | ||
| They claim on money laundering because his business partner didn't pay taxes. | ||
| Probably nothing. | ||
| But the point is, Cohen's been chomping at the bit now to actually record Trump. | ||
| And then Trump's like, financing? | ||
| I'm not paying for anything. | ||
| So the tape's actually exonerated. | ||
| But CNN is saying Cohen to plead guilty to criminal charges and that he's not rolled. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| When you get two disinformation organizations like CNN and ABC together, If they had a baby, it would look something like Brian Stelter. | ||
| So that's an ugly baby. | ||
| And a very deceptive little baby as well. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| He's like, it's an ugly baby. | ||
| And a dishonest little baby as well. | ||
| It's like Alex. | ||
| Where is your goddamn analysis? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| It's an ugly baby that also lies. | ||
| It's an dishonest ugly baby. | ||
| Your favorite guy's lawyer just pled guilty to a bunch of shit that clearly involves him. | ||
| His analysis is like, well, ABC and CNN are reporting it, and if they fucked it, have an ugly baby. | ||
| You've got so much nothing. | ||
| You've got so much nothing. | ||
| What is it going to take? | ||
| It's delightful how little he's got in that moment. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| What is it going to take, man? | ||
| How much smoke before even people who are on fire are like, alright, I guess there's fire here. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think for Alex, the sky's the limit. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I have no idea what it would take for him. | ||
| Apparently, it was bombing Syria where he thought that Russians got killed. | ||
| That turned out to be what, you know, we can talk all day about the idea that when Trump bombed Syria, Alex, the famous Trump shoves ISIS up his dirty asshole. | ||
| Which, again, he's now getting Michael Cohen's dirty asshole shoved up his own dirty asshole. | ||
| Certainly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But the, like, our sort of point on that, and I think it's a fair assumption to make, is that Alex got on air, he was kind of buzzed, And then the next day when he found out there weren't any Russians killed. | |
| He doubles back. | ||
| So I think it's equally plausible that what it will take for him to turn on Trump is Trump actually attacking Russia or Trump turning on Russia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't mean that to say that Alex is an agent of Russia or anything like that, but the last time that he did quote-unquote turn on Trump, most of his motivation was he killed a bunch of Russian soldiers in that bombing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's so weird to me. | ||
| Maybe Trump turning on Israel would do it, too? | ||
| No, I think Trump could turn on Israel and Alex would be fine with it. | ||
| I'm not sure at this point. | ||
| I think he could have years ago, but I don't know at this point. | ||
| I don't know what Trump turning on Israel would even look like, though. | ||
| We're moving the embassy back! | ||
| What would even that be? | ||
| Hey, we don't support you expanding your settlements illegally into the place where you're illegally expanding your settlements. | ||
| He's just doing the right thing. | ||
| The Israelis said the capital will now be in Boca Raton. | ||
| Yeah, that actually sounds right. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Wanted close to Mar-a-Lago. | ||
| We have decided that Israel is Florida. | ||
| Come on over. | ||
| Get on over here. | ||
| It's your holy land. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| God is nothing. | ||
| It sucks because the joke I was trying to make was about the idea that that's close to Mar-a-Lago and all that. | ||
| It's close enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| It's pretty close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I didn't know that. | |
| And Boca Raton's a great vacation sort of fun place. | ||
| Yeah, let's move Israel there. | ||
| But the unfortunate part about it is that there's such that stereotype of old Jews end up retiring in Florida. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Now I do feel... | ||
| I feel ugly about the... | ||
| Now I agree with you. | ||
| That was just the first place I thought of where it would just make sense to move a whole shit ton of people. | ||
| Because who gives a fuck? | ||
| It's Florida. | ||
| The swamp. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Toss him in there. | ||
| Give him North Carolina. | ||
| It is funny that Trump wants to, you know, drain the swamp when he comes from a place that's very close to a ton of swampland. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He is the swamp. | ||
| That's my big bet. | ||
| Abandon hope all ye who enter the swamp. | ||
| Ah, boy. | ||
| I tell you what. | ||
| Jordan, we've come to the end of this episode. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| It's been a doozy. | ||
| Just to put a button on that last clip. | ||
| Most of the news hadn't broken about Cohen yet. | ||
| It's really funny to hear him make that sort of thing before it comes out that in court he had said that he was working at the behest of Trump. | ||
| A candidate. | ||
| A candidate for president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There were at least four. | |
| And everybody knows that Hillary would have loved nothing more than for Cohen to have paid off a... | ||
| Porn star who fucked Trump and avoided telling her story. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Or. | ||
| Or. | ||
| Gary Johnson. | ||
| Gary Johnson is the master behind. | ||
| He's the mastermind. | ||
| We never know. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| I think we will know very shortly. | ||
| I think we already kind of know. | ||
| I think we know pretty much right on. | ||
| So this has been a fun episode. | ||
| I hate the presents still, and the show sucks. | ||
| And most of the show, the stuff that we didn't go over is just repetition yelling about China and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alex probably killed a guy, and that's all. | ||
| You understand now why we had to do this show? | ||
| No, probably. | ||
| He technically killed a guy. | ||
| Technically didn't murder him. | ||
| He technically didn't murder him, but he did technically kill a guy. | ||
| It seems that way. | ||
| Not probably technically, but technically, he killed a guy. | ||
| So now you understand fully why we had to do this episode. | ||
| Yeah, he fucking killed a guy. | ||
| This is very important to our investigation of Alex. | ||
| This is going on the real. | ||
| This is what we call in baseball, this is an unforced error. | ||
| This is... | ||
| That's not what we call it in baseball. | ||
| Yeah, it is? | ||
| No, that's tennis. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| An unforced error? | ||
| Isn't that in... | ||
| No, in baseball it's just a regular error. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| In tennis it's an unforced error. | ||
| Tennis is baseball with a bigger bat. | ||
| Nope, nope, nope. | ||
| Anyway, moving on. | ||
| Nope, nope, nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tennis is baseball with a fat bat. | |
| We've got to get a shirt that says that. | ||
| Tennis is baseball with a fat bat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think that's a good sell. | |
| A picture of you in the Albert Pupol stance with a tennis racket. | ||
| Look, our Call Larry Nichols shirt, which does not exist and probably never will, that one is an in-joke. | ||
| That shirt is just esoteric nonsense. | ||
| Tennis is baseball with a fat bat. | ||
| See, now that's a song. | ||
| That's a song we should write. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You can do it kind of to the rhythm of little in the middle, but you got much back. | ||
| Tennis is baseball with a fat bat. | ||
| Alright, fuck this. | ||
| Alex killed a guy. | ||
| That's our new out. | ||
| That's our new out on any bit that doesn't land the way we want it to. | ||
| Anyways, Alex killed a guy. | ||
| Let's retire the telling people to fuck themselves because I think that's gotten a little stale. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now we end every episode by reminding the audience that Alex killed a guy. | ||
| Well, then I guess it's your turn. | ||
| But first, we have a website, knowledgebite.com. | ||
| We're on Twitter. | ||
| We're on Facebook. | ||
| We have a Facebook group. | ||
| Go home and tell your mother you're brilliant. | ||
| That is correct. | ||
| We're also on iTunes. | ||
| You can find us. | ||
| We are! | ||
| You can find us. | ||
| You can't find Alex. | ||
| Nope, he's hidden. | ||
| But guys, we've had a lot of fun here, but just to end things on a very serious note, we need to remind you that Alex Jones has killed a guy. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |