Today, Dan and Jordan go down to Occupied Texas to have a little discussion about the January 25, 2015 episode of The Alex Jones Show. The episode marks an important date in the history of Austin, but also includes Alex spinning wild lies about urine controls, the Renaissance, and things that make you go "boi-oi-oing."
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hey, everybody. | ||
| Just wanted to stop in here with a quick introduction before we got into today's proceedings. | ||
| What you are about to listen to is a live episode that myself, Dan, and my co-host Jordan recorded when we were down in Austin, Texas on Friday evening of the last week here, June 15th. | ||
| Just... | ||
| Such a great time going down there, despite the ridiculous amount of travel in a very compact amount of time. | ||
| Time was very tight, but everything was so delightful, and I don't know, I want to thank everybody, but the list is so long of names of people to thank, so we'll get into some specifics later and discuss more of the details of the trip whenever me and Jordan sit back down for the next episode. | ||
| But for now, I just need it very sincerely to give a broad thank you to everybody who came out and made the event so fun and made it worthwhile to do all that ridiculous amount of traveling. | ||
| Also, thank you to everyone at Beerland. | ||
| They were so spectacular and accommodating, and it's pretty absurd that... | ||
| They were able to record the show so competently and then also send it to me so quickly that we can put it out here on Monday. | ||
| So a big thank you to them and everyone over there. | ||
| But beyond that, thank you to all the InfoWarriors for not coming, I guess. | ||
| That's another thank you because we'd rather not deal with y 'all's asses. | ||
| Anyway, I'm still exhausted, so at this point, I think I'll probably take a nap. | ||
| And you guys enjoy the episode. | ||
| We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey, everybody! | ||
| Welcome back to Knowledge Fight! | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| We're a couple dudes who like to fly to Austin, Texas, drink novelty beverages, and sit around to talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Indeed we are. | ||
| Dan? | ||
| What up? | ||
| Dan. | ||
| What up, player? | ||
| If you had just spent roughly the past 28 hours a week, and some random dude in Austin was like, why are you here? | ||
| And you said... | ||
| My response would be... | ||
| I gotta pass out. | ||
| I've been up too long. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I would say we're here because I know a lot about Alex Jones. | ||
| And I don't know anything about Alex Jones. | ||
| And therein lies the rub. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Guys, we have a spectacular episode to go over for you. | ||
| I've found something very particularly... | ||
| You know, it's of relevance to Austin. | ||
| I figure why not have something that's locally relevant as we're here. | ||
| And as we get started, I'd like to just drop out of context, drop on you from today's show. | ||
| I am not a wolf and I'm not a sheep. | ||
| I am a vicious, giant, mean sheepdog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
*laughter* | |
| I am all things to all men. | ||
| I have varying feelings about animals and which ones aren't scary enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if they were both? | |
| Why not just say you're a fucking wolf? | ||
| Right? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm a close cousin of the wolf. | ||
| That's gay. | ||
| So today, Jordan, we are going to be going over January 25th, 2015. | ||
| That is a monumental day in the history of Alex Jones, and for reasons that I don't particularly want to tell you just yet. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You nailed it. | ||
| So we will let that develop. | ||
| As we start today's episode, we find Alex Jones in a particularly... | ||
| Wistful mood, one might say. | ||
| He's getting a little bit heady right out of the gate. | ||
| Out of the gate! | ||
| Which is a mood I like. | ||
| Also, keep track of how many times he says ghost in this clip. | ||
| I guess my whole broadcast is a ghost of Armageddon's future attempting to warn the people as best I can about certain technochronic hell on earth that we face. | ||
| Real quick, I'm sorry, can we turn that down just a tiny bit? | ||
| Maybe in the monitors, it's blasting in my ears. | ||
| As much as I listen to this guy, I can't take it that loud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which, which, it's a certain technocratic Armageddon? | |
| No, I think he means certain as in absolute. | ||
| Oh, absolute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought he meant like, of the many technocratic Armageddons. | |
| Very easy to make that mistake. | ||
| Also, I was barely listening because that lick was sick. | ||
| We allow the psychopaths that control the planet to take over. | ||
| But there's no fanfare. | ||
| There's no fear-mongering. | ||
| There's no Hollywood movies demonizing it so people are unaware of it. | ||
| They just line up and happily commit to it because that's the human spirit. | ||
| It's not to be cowards and to absolutely accept your environment when you have to live in it but to change it and make it better. | ||
| But what happens when the industrialization... | ||
| And the modernization and the safety first public service angle becomes a poison cyanide lining. | ||
| What? | ||
| What happens when the machine is possessed by a eugenics ghost? | ||
| How do you fight that? | ||
| How do you change that? | ||
| What does happen? | ||
| There's a lot of different ways to do it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I've listened to this entire episode. | ||
| I have no fucking idea what he's talking about. | ||
| He's using a lot of words, like poison cyanide lining. | ||
| Give me three ways to do it. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| I mean, he said there was a lot of ways to do it. | ||
| Give me three. | ||
| I'll tell you this right now. | ||
| That is not my job. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is not my job to play Mad Libs with Alex Jones. | |
| All right, all right. | ||
| Okay, I'm going to go with Army of Bears. | ||
| That's number one. | ||
| Turns out it's your job to play Mad Libs. | ||
| Army of bears. | ||
| Also, those bears herded by sheepdogs. | ||
| Vicious sheepdogs. | ||
| Vicious sheepdogs. | ||
| Sheepdogs, classically known for their viciousness. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| I associate them with, no, that's a St. Bernard, the ones that have booze on their throat. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like a Looney Tunes cartoon? | ||
| I feel like sheepdogs are pretty friendly as a whole, right? | ||
| They just sort of bark at sheep. | ||
| Isn't that kind of what they do? | ||
| The most vicious sheepdog is just like, hey, hey! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get over there! | |
| Get over there! | ||
| You know what? | ||
| In that case, the metaphor holds. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It kind of works. | ||
| But what's important here, and I think is really fun, is that that is all rambling nonsense, but you kind of get the feel of it. | ||
| There's something going on. | ||
| He's in an emotional state. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There is like, oh boy, oh God, I... | |
| The rest of the world does not care about certain doom. | ||
| And as you pointed out very astutely, almost every movie is about that on some level. | ||
| There was even one with Denzel where he was fighting lawnmowers. | ||
| Man on Fire. | ||
| Man on Fire. | ||
| Was that the one? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Certainly not. | |
| That was the one with Dakota Fanning. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Can't think of another Denzel movie. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Can't think of another Denzel movie. | ||
| That's offensive. | ||
| Well, not while I'm trying to transition into the next clip. | ||
| See, we got Equalizer. | ||
| My friend. | ||
| Already out the gate. | ||
| Out the gate, live show, better than our podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| We do not have a rogues gallery that can yell out. | ||
| I just don't want us to be here three hours, so let's get to this next clip. | ||
| Too late now. | ||
| Where we establish even further Alex Jones' mindset on this day of, like, real fucking weird. | ||
| And all experience has shown that it is the animating contest of liberty that makes you happy, empowered, and great. | ||
| The problem is, as I've said a thousand times, the great men and women that have delivered us to this current position are dead and gone. | ||
| Dead and gone. | ||
| Gone, gone, gone. | ||
| In its place, the decadent slobs. | ||
| The mightiest of us, weak compared to those that came before. | ||
| Dishonored. | ||
| Fallen. | ||
| Flouching towards Gamora. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Gotta be flouching. | ||
| There is a way to avert this great plan. | ||
| But I have not the strength to loose it. | ||
| Out to commercial. | ||
| There is a way to save the world from all this, but I have not the courage to lose it. | ||
| I really think he's talking about Game of Thrones, right? | ||
| Like, this is the first man? | ||
| Like, no, Bran the Builder isn't around anymore. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Yeah, the wall is coming down. | ||
| There's no way to fight this. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You've tapped onto something that I'm trying to loosely hint to. | ||
| That is, a wall is coming down. | ||
| Alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It may not let in the Night King. | |
| I haven't watched Game of Thrones in a long time. | ||
| The Night King? | ||
| The guy with the blue eyes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He seems fine. | |
| He's cold. | ||
| That's a good description. | ||
| Alright, so for the rest of the beginning of this show, what I would say probably the first half hour, Alex spends, I would call it a pornographic amount of time talking about how awesome his show is. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He spends... | ||
| So much time talking about how famous and popular he is, and this clip is just great for reasons that I know because I've looked into it. | ||
| I'm here, ladies and gentlemen, at 4.07 Central Standard Time. | ||
| Many stations rebroadcast it in other time slots. | ||
| We want to thank all of those affiliates, both the old affiliates and the new affiliates. | ||
| I've been doing this syndicated radio broadcast. | ||
| For 20 years. | ||
| And for about seven years, I've been broadcasting on Sundays. | ||
| I figured that a lot of stations out there weren't ready to pick up the show weekdays, but if I could get them to try out the broadcast, that they would end up picking it up weekdays or weeknights, and that certainly happened. | ||
| We went from about 70 affiliates seven years ago or so, 68, 70-something affiliates. | ||
| And then with the Sunday show, almost every new affiliate we've gotten has picked up the Sunday show. | ||
| So, real quick, I just want to say, as a rule, I don't think that's a bad plan. | ||
| You know, like, I like to give Alex Jones his props when he deserves them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's a good plan. | ||
| It's like, I could not get people on the hook for my dumbass show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Maybe they have a gap on Sunday. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Maybe I could Trojan horse this bitch onto your station. | ||
| So that's good. | ||
| I respect that. | ||
| His numbers are way off, though. | ||
| You give him a taste for free. | ||
| So one of the fun things is that the Wayback Machine exists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Archive.org. | ||
| You can go back and there's... | ||
| That's dangerous for people who lie. | ||
| Yeah, oh, big time. | ||
| They don't like the Wayback Machine. | ||
| There's lists of his affiliates that you can find from January 2015. | ||
| And the numbers do not match up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| How many did he say he had? | ||
| It was like over 160 or something like that. | ||
| Over 160. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| He has even, at the best estimate, like 100. | ||
| And that's not accurate. | ||
| I mean, I've gone through this. | ||
| Two of them just from Alaska. | ||
| Alright, guys? | ||
| Two of them from Alaska. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Our Arco Base Camp. | ||
| That's not a city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait, wait, wait. | |
| That's a place where you start climbing a mountain. | ||
| Wait, hold the fucking phone. | ||
| Are you telling me that of all the places, if you were to go to a base camp in Antarctica or Alaska, you would suddenly hear Alex Jones? | ||
| You might. | ||
| That would be a bummer. | ||
| That would be a bummer. | ||
| More of a bummer, Jordan. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| We're going to make it to the top of this fucking mountain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're all going to die and everything is made of evil. | |
| Everything is made of evil and you are your children. | ||
| You are your children and they will eat you alive! | ||
| What? | ||
| Alright, let's climb Everest. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got this. | |
| I'm just not gonna. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| If someone else has ever done it, I have done it too by the transitive property of all of us. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Where else would you find globalists but at the top of the mountain? | ||
| You make a good point. | ||
| And now I have a good point. | ||
| Another one of his affiliates from Alaska is in Cooperook, Alaska. | ||
| And if you Google Cooperook, Alaska, you find that that is also not a city. | ||
| That is the Cooperook River oil field. | ||
| One of his affiliates is a fucking river. | ||
| It's just a yurt. | ||
| So that's not great. | ||
| I started looking through his affiliates that he had on just the Sunday show, and there's supposedly 83, according to the Genesis Communications Network. | ||
| I'm sorry, 35. 35. Just on Sundays. | ||
| I started looking through them. | ||
| And man, first of all, they're all gone now. | ||
| But also, not all gone, but I went through and like... | ||
| This was two years ago! | ||
| They're all gone. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, yeah. | ||
| Or three years ago now. | ||
| It's a disaster. | ||
| It's rats getting off a sinking ship. | ||
| Okay, alright. | ||
| And it's not even impressive rats. | ||
| It's like rats with a population of 2,000. | ||
| And rivers. | ||
| It's a lazy rat king, is what it is. | ||
| So the reality on the ground is very, very clearly that he's losing affiliates. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not going great. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which leads him to make this declaration, which basically amounts to, hey guys, don't be suspicious about the fact that all of the radio stations I'm on are going away. | ||
| I can't tell you how many times. | ||
| I've been on a station in Orlando or in Corpus Christi or in New York City or in Los Angeles or in St. Louis or in Minnesota. | ||
| St. Paul, I remember, and we're on for a couple years, get great listenership. | ||
| It's just that they sell or they change format. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| And that's why no one listening to this broadcast should take it for granted. | ||
| Because these type of hardcore, pro-America, common sense... | ||
| Americana constitutional views are very popular. | ||
| They are common sense. | ||
| But at the same time, the power structure and the entire system does not like to fund it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Like Denzel. | ||
| Like all of the progressive radio that's been wildly marketed and very successful. | ||
| Right, right, right, right. | ||
| So now might be the time of the show that I should just lay it out there and tell you that this is the last episode Alex broadcasted on KLBJ here in Austin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| This episode is the last time Alex Jones was broadcast on the radio in Austin, Texas. | ||
| So that explains kind of why his mood is in this fatalistic, doomed... | ||
| So what you're saying is we are actually listening to the ghost of Armageddon's past. | ||
| More or less. | ||
| And he's describing it as the ghost of Armageddon's future. | ||
| Well, because he knows the contract is up and he's gone, but he doesn't want to say that on air. | ||
| He has to just lay the track of like, everything is great, don't worry about it. | ||
| We've got tons of affiliates. | ||
| One of them's a river. | ||
| Admittedly, this was... | ||
| This was the day that Austin classified sheepdogs as service animals, right? | ||
| I'm unclear on... | ||
| That did not come up in my research. | ||
| Cannot say one way or the other. | ||
| Cannot confirm nor deny. | ||
| I gotcha. | ||
| So what's real fun is that the next week KLBJ began airing brokered programming in his time slot. | ||
| A show about retirement planning. | ||
| That's good news. | ||
| That was one hour of it. | ||
| And then the other hour... | ||
| What retirement is there other than buying gold? | ||
| Oh, it's a great retirement plan. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then the other show that replaced it for the other hour is called Seton Healthline. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seton Healthline. | |
| Yeah, so that is what ended up happening. | ||
| But... | ||
| All of them sponsored by Diamond Gusset Jeans, right? | ||
| Oh, random jeans. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Despite that, Alex is trying to keep a very sunny face on, and he goes into this about how everything is totally fine, don't worry about it. | ||
| And we've had a lot of ups and downs in 20 years on air, but if you look at the graph, it just goes straight up. | ||
| To frightening levels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| It's frightening. | ||
| It's frightening. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| If it were true, that would be terrifying. | ||
| I'm not lying about that. | ||
| So now, according to him, it's frightening, but according to archive.org in the Wayback Machine, you can go to Alexa and find out his stats. | ||
| You can find his traffic. | ||
| And Jordan, this is from January 2015. | ||
| How would you describe that graph? | ||
| I would call it down, fast. | ||
| Precipitous. | ||
| Rah! | ||
| I would call it like a ski drop, but instead it was the movie Cliffhanger and they died at the end. | ||
| I was really hoping that we could have a PowerPoint presentation going and everything, but I'll show anyone who wants to see this after the show, let's say. | ||
| For the podcast listeners, fucking should have been here. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| Hey, we love Sonya. | ||
| In terms of rankings of global websites, what you see is that in about September 2014, Alex Jones was at about 1,200 globally. | ||
| The 1,200th top website. | ||
| October? | ||
| Within a month, 3,200th. | ||
| He dropped 2,000 rankings. | ||
| It is a ski slope. | ||
| It's a disaster. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's terrifying how up it went. | ||
| And mysteriously, if you go to Prison Planet statistics from the exact same time, same drop. | ||
| Which leads me to believe something's a mess. | ||
| Something's afoot. | ||
| Something is up. | ||
| So at this point, Alex talks about what he would like to present as his statistics are. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| My rank right now in the U.S. is 544. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Oh, no, I'm sorry. | ||
| MSNBC is 544. | ||
| We're 356 in the U.S. I thought we'd gone down. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| We've gone up about 100 points. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| MSNBC.com is 544. | ||
| We're 350-something. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| So that's why they have George Soros' Media Matters doing investigations on us, sending private detectives, literally digging through our trash cans. | ||
| What are you going to find in that trash can? | ||
| What are you going to find in that trash can? | ||
| I like the idea of a DeShield Hammett novel written about Alex Jones. | ||
| Like, we got a private eye and there's a whole film noir about it. | ||
| The femme fatale is Alex's wife and then the kids get lost? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Femme fatale is Soros. | ||
| Femme fatale is Soros? | ||
| Yeah, that's what's going on. | ||
| Soros, gotcha. | ||
| So, as he's saying this, he flashes up on screen a dual view here. | ||
| And again, if you want to see this, I'm sure I'll fucking show it to you. | ||
| But what it is, is the Alexa page of his website and MSNBC's website. | ||
| The MSNBC one is current in 2015. | ||
| The one of his is from right before that massive drop in 2014, in September. | ||
| He has very clearly manipulated this to make it look like that big drop never happened and is lying to his audience. | ||
| And who cares? | ||
| I care about this. | ||
| I don't know why I care about this. | ||
| That's fascinating because he knows that there was a massive drop in traffic. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He cannot help but know that, especially because he's bringing up Alexa stats from another website. | ||
| Well, he's saying that, but maybe, you know, you might... | ||
| Does he have a different Alexa than everybody else? | ||
| He might argue that the Alexa statistics aren't accurate because he hasn't said that that was from the website Alexa. | ||
| He's just flashed up numbers. | ||
| But unfortunately, he goes on to say this. | ||
| Well, as we know, Soros controls numbers. | ||
| Alexa.com, and it's an Amazon company that does online ratings. | ||
| It's pretty accurate overall. | ||
| It matches our Google Analytics and other ad agency, Arbitron, wide-spectrum analysis we have. | ||
| And you look at it, and it's scary how the numbers fit, depending on the metric, whether it's Google Analytics or what Amazon uses. | ||
| So he just admitted that what I've just told you is totally accurate. | ||
| I mean, if you look into what I said, yes, it's not true. | ||
| But don't worry about it, because other websites can confirm it's not true. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| So anyway, he blows hard a bunch longer. | ||
| He says he has 18 million listeners, but if you go to Talkers, it's the closest that you come to actual ratings for Talk Radio. | ||
| You find that Rush Limbaugh has 14 million. | ||
| He's number one in the game for like 10 years. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And Alex... | ||
| James Jones is coming in down at 13 with about 5.9 million. | ||
| So, I mean, that's still a lot of listeners. | ||
| I'm not going to take that away. | ||
| When did he start claiming that he had like 3.5 billion? | ||
| When did he start claiming that he had 60% of the population of the whole planet Earth? | ||
| That was when that super male vitality psychosis kicked in. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| All right. | ||
| That was when Buckley done mixed some with his... | ||
| What was that, a February? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He put it on a burger and he was like, I guess the whole world listens. | ||
| No, it's a slow-acting sedative narcotic that someone was putting in his supermail. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Hashtag me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because he doesn't drink Diet Cokes. | |
| So, at this point, we're going to jump away a little bit from just the bullshit about the statistics. | ||
| And I'm actually kind of kicking myself. | ||
| Maybe I shouldn't have told you this was the last episode of KLBJ. | ||
| Maybe I tipped my hand too early. | ||
| But here's a clip where... | ||
| Death comes to us all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But for you, you die without honor. | |
| You're not far off. | ||
| They're scared. | ||
| And they should be. | ||
| Because if a bumbling, stuttering, hillbilly redneck... | ||
| So me. | ||
| With no college degree can be kicking your ass worldwide right now. | ||
| Can you imagine when the other men, greater than I stand up, it's game over. | ||
| And let me give you a message that I've been given for 20 years, because in my heart I've always known this. | ||
| So right there real quick, before we get to the message. | ||
| Call Larry Nichols. | ||
| He's been getting for 20 years this message because he knows it in his heart. | ||
| Which leads me to believe he has not been getting this message. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| It's just a delusion that he feels internally. | ||
| But here's what that is. | ||
| Pixies are real. | ||
| I'm here to blow the alarm. | ||
| To blow the trumpet. | ||
| To get the real warriors up. | ||
| That's all I'm doing. | ||
| I got big lungs. | ||
| I'm willing to scream out. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The real Warriors. | ||
| He's got all you need. | ||
| Mike Cernovich. | ||
| Jack Posobiec. | ||
| I'm screaming, come out of the woodwork. | ||
| The real Warriors. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Cool, cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is Oren Schroeder in the mix yet? | |
| This is 2015, right? | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| Alright, well, this is kind of your show, so you should know what fucking year it is. | ||
| I'll tell you what, I do have a timeline working about Alex himself, but I have not branched out to what Owen Schroer is up to. | ||
| See, now I'm kind of interested in what Owen Schroer was doing before. | ||
| Fine, the next six months I'll just study him. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's not worth it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one's going to be happy about that. | |
| I go down to St. Louis, try and find out what his real name is. | ||
| Not going to do that. | ||
| So, at this point, Alex gets into some financials. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'll say this. | ||
| These numbers lead me to believe we got some problems. | ||
| So, he's a billionaire, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or he's broke. | ||
| He's never what he is. | ||
| He's never like, I am a millionaire who owns a few boats and it's no big deal. | ||
| He's always like, I'm the richest fucking human being that's ever goddamn lived. | ||
| Or he's like... | ||
| These lawsuits have made me fucking broke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know my own children's name anymore. | |
| I'm not allowed to see my kids. | ||
| And if you don't buy this fucking pill, just one, AutoShip! | ||
| AutoShip gives you a 40% discount! | ||
| I need to know! | ||
| I love... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fantastic. | |
| Yep, good work. | ||
| So let's get to these financials. | ||
| And I'm not looking for physical wealth, but I have raised, I did the math a few months ago with the accountants, $187 million in 20 years to finance this operation. | ||
| That's an example of what one person can do. | ||
| Over 20 years. | ||
| Cost me tens of millions of dollars a year to run this operation, and you, the listeners, have come and supported us. | ||
| With the high-quality products at Infowars4.com, and we've put 95% of that money back into the operation after taxes, and it's had a huge effect. | ||
| So I salute you all. | ||
| You have helped forge this sword. | ||
| Bone broth! | ||
| Tree bone broth, bro. | ||
| He goes on to talk about how that sword will stab globalists or something. | ||
| The sword of bones will stab globalists. | ||
| This is Game of Thrones, isn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| So the problem that I have is $180-something million that he's raised over 20 years. | ||
| If you break that down, you divide it out. | ||
| That's $9 million a year. | ||
| If he's saying it costs tens of millions of dollars to run the operation every year, where's the rest of them millions coming from, buddy? | ||
| $187 is not that much over 20 years to run the operation he's claiming to run. | ||
| And that's not including a salary. | ||
| That's probably including a salary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's probably mostly a salary. | |
| I talked myself full circle on that one. | ||
| I like it when you give up on a point on your own. | ||
| Well, I was saying something and now I disagree with me, so we can move on. | ||
| Yeah, I suppose so. | ||
| You have spent months on this episode and you disagreed with yourself the moment you heard the actual thing. | ||
| Yeah, that happens. | ||
| Alright, here we go. | ||
| We're never so clear about ideas as we are when we're in front of people. | ||
| William Shakespeare. | ||
|
unidentified
|
laughter laughter laughter Figured that might save it a little bit. | |
| So we all know that as of late 2015, Alex Jones jumped full hog into being... | ||
| Trump propagandist. | ||
| We watched that happen in real time. | ||
| But you might be asking yourself, like, in January 2015, where were his allegiances? | ||
| He's back on Rand Paul, right? | ||
| You might think that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're wrong. | |
| Palin says she's seriously interested in the 2016 campaign. | ||
| Hey, I'll say it. | ||
| Palin's a lot better than Jeb Bush or Chris Christie. | ||
| She's the real deal. | ||
| And that's why the system attacks her and says she's dumb because she's a woman. | ||
| With these fake feminist dirtbags that are really just social controllers that want to dominate women and lecture to them and not let them make their own decisions. | ||
| Every fake leftist feminist doesn't want a woman to be armed. | ||
| That right there shows you don't care about women. | ||
| I mean, Sarah Palin is so much better than the current so-called neocon leadership of the Republican Party. | ||
| So, real fun. | ||
| You know what's weird? | ||
| That actually might be true. | ||
| That's the weirdest part. | ||
| But Neocon leadership at that time was fucking garbage. | ||
| At least Sarah Palin was just fucking stupid. | ||
| Like, you gotta give her that. | ||
| You sound like one of these bumbly, dumb, liberal male feminists who don't want women to have guns! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true! | |
| That's true! | ||
| So you might be surprised to find out that in 2010, Alex Jones put out a video with the title, Neocon Palin's Tea Party Takeover Will Facilitate Obama Re-Election. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| Calls her a neocon and saying she's taking over the tea party. | ||
| Also, in 2010, he put out a two-part video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Two parts! | |
| That was titled, Sarah Palin is not going to save you three exclamation points. | ||
| Three exclamation points? | ||
| Yeah, so that's a little bit of a... | ||
| Anything between two and four is disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, but this is even more disgusting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is she as good as a Rand Paul or a Ted Cruz? | ||
| No. | ||
| She'd make a hell of a VP. | ||
| That's a winning ticket right there. | ||
| Let's con... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Can you imagine Cruz, Palin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or... | |
| And I'm sorry, if she was... | ||
| As smart or as constitutional as a Ted Cruz, I'd say her. | ||
| But, I mean, I've just, I've listened to them both, read their writings, they're both really smart. | ||
| Okay! | ||
| Real quick, what writings? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay! | |
| Alright! | ||
| What writings? | ||
| What, what, like at the end of the day, what readings? | ||
| What if they're... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows? | |
| Hold on, hold on, hold on! | ||
| Wait for the end of the clip! | ||
| Wait for the end of the clip! | ||
| Can you imagine that, Dan? | ||
| What? | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| Can you imagine Cruz Palin in 2016? | ||
| Yeah, kind of. | ||
| Can you imagine how great that would be? | ||
| I don't think in the law and giving slick speeches, I'm as good as Ted Cruz. | ||
| I'm sorry, he's just more presidential. | ||
| It's just the winning ticket is Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, or Rand Paul, Sarah Palin. | ||
| I mean, just, it cannot be beaten. | ||
| Look at every Democrat. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm salivating. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm having... | ||
| I'm having... | ||
| Oh, they call them... | ||
| Precipitation dreams. | ||
| I better stop right now. | ||
| Gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gross. | |
| All right. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Gross. | ||
| All right. | ||
| He just jizzed. | ||
| All right. | ||
| All right. | ||
| He just jizzed without touching himself. | ||
| There are so many problems. | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One. | |
| Who is he coming to? | ||
| And two, who calls them precipitation dreams? | ||
| That's a dream about rain! | ||
| I love the idea that he's trying to clean up his language for radio so he can't say wet. | ||
| Gotta call it precipitation dreams. | ||
| You know, some people call them wet dreams, but I'm not that kind of gross, so I just call them coming in my pants all the time. | ||
| So, it's real fun that he's super into Ted Cruz at this point, January 2015. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Would it surprise you to find out that in 2016 he put out a video, did Cruz drop out to cover up Kennedy assassination connection? | ||
| Also, would it surprise you that it gets worse, he put out a video in 2016 with the title, Ted Cruz, A Cross-Dressing Peeping Tom? | ||
| Question mark? | ||
| Now, that is a good question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fair. | |
| It may or may not be true, but that's a good question. | ||
| Inquiring minds want to know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's an episode of the Magic School Bus about it. | |
| So that's pretty strange. | ||
| I think that to me is like, that's fun. | ||
| That's a real fun shift you made there, buddy. | ||
| Very not suspicious. | ||
| So at this point, Alex decides to jump into the news. | ||
| And at this point, the Patriots had won the Super Bowl. | ||
| Under what some people describe as suspicious circumstances. | ||
| Ted Cruz. | ||
| Deflategate. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Zodiac Killer? | |
| Question mark. | ||
| Did Ted Cruz deflate the footballs? | ||
| I don't care particularly about sports or cheating in sports. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I don't have a thought about this. | ||
| And I've only kept this clip in to watch Alex Jones get really fucking bent out of shape about people making ball jokes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then 20 seconds later, make some really happy ass ball jokes. | |
| Oh, he's definitely going to make a ball joke. | ||
| But people love... | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| The Patriots, they're involved in a conspiracy and everybody wants to email me and talk about it. | ||
| Go over every level of it and why the teams bring their own balls and everything else. | ||
| There's all the ball jokes that go along with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Taking the high road on this one. | |
| How is there a conspiracy here, but there's not with LIBOR and world interest rates or the private federal reserve or derivatives? | ||
| I mean, that's what really affects you. | ||
| That's where you're really being screwed over. | ||
| But it's boring suits and ties. | ||
| I mean, who cares? | ||
| So let's cover this right now. | ||
| Patriots say they follow the rules and accept no blame. | ||
| Belichick says 100% Patriots did nothing wrong. | ||
| Well, there's referees that you see handling those balls. | ||
| I mean, they love to squeeze on them and see if they're inflated or not. | ||
| By the end of the game, I guess they... | ||
| Do they drain them before they pass them on to sell them on eBay or whatever? | ||
| Or is that Obama? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Shots fired at Obama draining balls! | ||
| So as a... | ||
| I've quit doing stand-up. | ||
| But as an active stand-up... | ||
| As you can see right now, you're sitting down the whole fucking time. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I like to be casual. | ||
| If you were a judge on Last Comic Standing... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| First of all, I would say cancel this show. | ||
| Fair. | ||
| How do you feel about them ball jokes? | ||
| That's pretty gross, right? | ||
| That's pretty bad. | ||
| Do they have a... | ||
| Is it like a star search thing? | ||
| I give them three and a half stars. | ||
| That's high. | ||
| I give them three and a half stars. | ||
| That's very high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know why? | |
| He had the balls to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | ||
| Oh, oh, oh, oh. | ||
| Go ride to Chicago. | ||
| *laughter* | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give me one. | |
| Alright, I'll put minus one on there for me. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Also, I like as a new wrinkle in our show, me doing finger guns into the air and yelling, bow, bow, bow. | ||
| God, when we finally get that soundboard with all the drops, we're going to be amazing. | ||
| You know what's really tragic? | ||
| Those are cheap as shit. | ||
| We could be doing that right now if we had any initiative. | ||
| We can get 30 people in Austin on three months' notice. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah! | |
| Thank you guys so much for coming out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Now, I'd like to poll the audience. | ||
| Make some noise if you like the Renaissance. | ||
| Do you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| Because if you know Dan, you know he's going to... | ||
| You don't love the Renaissance. | ||
| He's going to destroy it for you. | ||
| Oh, everybody had the fucking plague or whatever. | ||
| Fuck off! | ||
| Well, there were diseases. | ||
| Syphilis? | ||
| Alex believes that the primary motivation, or at least he's expressing this opinion on this episode, that the primary motivation for the globalists to want to crush everybody is that they fucking hate the Renaissance. | ||
| We kind of know that a little bit. | ||
| We know that that's sort of a piece of his worldview. | ||
| But he makes a very weird, weird line here. | ||
| I think it might set off some historical buzzers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And their stated plan is to end the Renaissance that started roughly 500 years ago with the Gutenberg Press. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not how that works. | |
| That's the printing press, ladies and gentlemen, that first printed the Gutenberg Bible. | ||
| This is their own stated goal. | ||
| I'm going to get into Davos openly announcing this in a moment. | ||
| You understand? | ||
| What? | ||
| They're announcing this. | ||
| So you're not allowed to say it's not happening, okay? | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Where are your problems with that clip, Jordan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| First off, when did the Renaissance begin, Dan? | ||
| 500 years ago with the Gutenberg press. | ||
| 500 years ago. | ||
| All right, all right. | ||
| That's not accurate at all. | ||
| Well, also... | ||
| Do historians agree that the Renaissance didn't end until the globalists? | ||
| Yeah, it's still going, baby! | ||
| Is it still going and the globalists are still like, oh, we're going to stop this Renaissance! | ||
| From what I understand, now granted, I'm not an ancient or old-timey European scholar, but from my understanding, the Renaissance refers primarily to... | ||
| Something that happened in Italy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In about the 13th century. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And it spread across Europe. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| But 500 years ago in what? | ||
| The 1700s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
1600s. | |
| I started to think about it. | ||
| 1500s? | ||
| It went on a while. | ||
| It did go on a while. | ||
| So I started to think about it, and then I was like... | ||
| Maybe I don't understand what he's talking about. | ||
| Yeah, what renaissance is he referring to? | ||
| So let the man speak. | ||
| We'll see if we can get down to some brass tacks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Can you guys give me the date of the Gutenberg? | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| Tuesday. | ||
| 14, late 14s if I'm right. | ||
| Maybe 15 early. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Let's just see. | ||
| I wouldn't win Jeopardy is the point, but let's just go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| But that's established by most historians that the Gutenberg press... | ||
| You didn't even answer that with a question. | ||
| ...is the mark of the beginning of the renaissance. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| So the elites, the royalty, the church, they're all worried about it. | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| They begin to try to use licenses and other things to control the new renaissance. | ||
| They try to take control of society. | ||
| They fund Malthus and they fund Galton and they fund eugenics in the last 200 years. | ||
| Hold on now. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| We skipped over a lot of time, but don't worry about it. | ||
| We da-da-da'd our way to Francis Galton. | ||
| It was Gutenberg, then Galton, and then we're done. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And now we're here. | ||
| And then Soros fucking showed up. | ||
| There's fucking chimeras. | ||
| So I thought about it a little bit, and he can't be talking about that Italian renaissance of the philosophical and architectural and artistic. | ||
| Dan, you looked it up. | ||
| What's the exact date of the Gutenberg press? | ||
| It's pretty close to what he's talking about. | ||
| It's like 14. I actually didn't care all that much. | ||
| Which is roughly 100 years after the Renaissance as we know it. | ||
| Well, a lot of it, I mean, I don't think it's the specific beginning point, but a lot of Dante is part of the beginning of the Renaissance. | ||
| Now, it would be stupid of me to sit up here and say that the Gutenberg press was not a huge part of facilitating the spread. | ||
| Of the ideas and what have you. | ||
| Never heard of it. | ||
| But also a movable type was invented in China way before that. | ||
| Petty. | ||
| So I started to look into it, and I'm like, are there more renaissances? | ||
| And of course there are. | ||
| The American Renaissance took place between 1876 and 1917. | ||
| It was a period where America rediscovered nationalism. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I start smelling, oh, that could be what he's talking about. | ||
| It might be shifting a couple hundred years. | ||
| But that wasn't 500 years ago. | ||
| No, but he could bring in Galton then. | ||
| I'll tell you what renaissance he wasn't talking about, the Harlem Renaissance. | ||
| I'll tell you that right goddamn now. | ||
| Jordan just beat me to my joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Yeah! | ||
| Take that, racist! | ||
| I think this might be 200 episodes in, you finally beat me to a joke. | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| It's probably happened before. | ||
| And I just put my tail between my legs. | ||
| Pretended it didn't happen. | ||
| Also, there was an American Renaissance in literature that happened just before the Civil War, but I think Alex is illiterate, so I don't think he's talking about that. | ||
| Again, the Harlem Renaissance isn't what he's talking about. | ||
| Oh, just fun? | ||
| Fun fact? | ||
| There's a white supremacist magazine called The American Renaissance. | ||
| They claim to be out to, quote, protect Western culture. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| But they don't have as much to lose as Alex, so they make it very clear they're talking about white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They make it absolutely clear. | ||
| Why even say Western? | ||
| Why even bother with it? | ||
| It's fun code. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Probably gets you beat up less, I would assume. | ||
| So the American Renaissance, the founder of it, a guy named Jared Taylor, paid for a robocall to go out before the Iowa caucuses that said, quote, I urge you to vote for Donald Trump because he is the one candidate who points out that we should accept immigrants who are good for America. | ||
| We don't need Muslims. | ||
| We need smart, well-educated white people who will assimilate into our culture. | ||
| Vote Trump. | ||
| So I'm not saying that Alex is talking about that American Renaissance, but boy, it's familiar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It seems similar. | ||
| It seems thematically very similar. | ||
| Where are we getting all these white immigrants? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where are they coming from? | |
| Eastern Europe. | ||
| Eastern Europe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Are we getting a lot of Russian immigrants? | ||
| I want to know the numbers on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like to make that noise. | |
| The sound of a sheepdog in heat. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There might be some people who have never listened to our podcast, and that might explain why I think this room got very uncomfortable. | ||
| During me reading about a white supremacist publication that bears shocking similarities to the rhetoric that Alex Jones puts out. | ||
| If you've never heard our podcast before, we're just going to keep talking. | ||
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| This is the whole show. | ||
| If we keep talking, Alex will say some more stupid stuff. | ||
| And then burlesque dancing will happen. | ||
| So it's going to be a good fucking show! | ||
| It's kind of like... | ||
| You know, you take your medicine, and that's this show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We can all have fun. | ||
| Then you get a chaser. | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
| So at this point, Alex wants to talk a little bit about nefarious villain. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Al Gore. | ||
| Oh, I thought it was Jafar. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| Al Gore spends $90 trillion to ban cars from every major city in the world, Daily Caller. | ||
| And it's got his quotes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot of fucking money. | |
| And the GCEC study. | ||
| That says just ban cars entirely because the elite fly helicopters anyways. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| How's the smell test going for you on that one? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Is there $90 trillion, period, in the world? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Where? | ||
| I mean, maybe not all dollars. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay. | ||
| If the entire wealth of humanity was put together, would it equal $90 trillion? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Absolutely, and I know that because I read a Business Insider article about this. | ||
| All right, well, once again, you fucking researched it, and now I look like an asshole. | ||
| Aha, that's the research equivalent of you beating me to a joke. | ||
| This is the worst Harlem Renaissance! | ||
| So, he says that there's quotes from Al Gore in this Daily Caller article, and there's not. | ||
| Well, there's one quote in it. | ||
| Ban cars, because I can fly a helicopter! | ||
| Spoiler alert, this article is just about having more public transit for people. | ||
| That's all he wanted. | ||
| He doesn't want to ban cars. | ||
| Do you know the CTA is looking into helicopters? | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Very efficient. | ||
| The red line is so slow in the mornings. | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| Is there a smoke machine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is there a fog machine gone? | |
| Alright. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I might be having a stroke. | ||
| Can I get another beer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| What's up? | ||
| There's a goth club? | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Goths just celebrate death. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's me being petty. | ||
| So, the only quote... | ||
| Now I want to do that Paul F. Tompkins joke in Alex Jones' voice. | ||
| Just that, just that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw a goth running, and I was like, where's the funeral? | |
| Now I'm going to be Alex Jones being a judge on Star Search. | ||
| One and a half stars. | ||
| So the only quote from Al Gore in that article is this. | ||
| Quote, it is absolutely crucial that we build public will for an agreement. | ||
| The purpose is to have a billion voices with one message to demand climate action now. | ||
| That's not even related to the issue that Alex is pretending that the article is about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And again... | |
| It's just about public transit in developing cities, trying to create more of it and improving public transit in existing urban areas. | ||
| So I had to go further than the Daily Caller article because you always do. | ||
| Oh, did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I read this Business Insider article that quoted... | ||
| Hey, Dan here. | ||
| I just wanted to stop in. | ||
| I needed to drop in here because we had a situation where the recording of the episode here... | ||
| It filled up the card that we were recording on. | ||
| And so there's a tiny little bit of a drop-off in terms of just a little bit of the conversation drops out. | ||
| And so I just wanted to step in here and fill you in on what we were talking about. | ||
| This is in the middle of a conversation we were having about Al Gore wanting to ban cars. | ||
| And I guess I don't need to set it up. | ||
| You guys just heard it. | ||
| But anyway, the Business Insider article, it goes on to explain that... | ||
| Felipe Calderon was quoted as talking about how there's a priority that we don't build up cities that pointlessly have low density just for the sake of people using cars and that it's much smarter. | ||
| And much more efficient that we should have higher density areas with mass transportation that services everybody in much more efficient ways. | ||
| As somebody who lives in a city with amazing mass transportation and then also limited mass transportation out to the suburbs where a lot of people like to live, I feel very much in line. | ||
| I very much agree with that. | ||
| And then also, Alex's reporting on this, of the story, is him saying that Al Gore wants to spend $90 trillion in order to ban cars, which is a massive, massive misrepresentation of things. | ||
| Jordan, at the show, would ask if there was actually $90 trillion in the world, and I said, I do know that. | ||
| Because of this Business Insider article, and then it goes, here's why. | ||
| Here's the quote from that Business Insider article. | ||
| It turns out the $90 trillion is the total of infrastructure investment that is likely to be spent anyway building up and upgrading cities. | ||
| Gore and Calderon are arguing that it be spent more wisely to produce cities that don't encourage people to burn fossil fuels just to get from point A to B. So the $90 trillion isn't something that Al Gore is encouraging people spend. | ||
| It's a reference to the amount that would be spent in infrastructure projects of this sort anyway. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| That's what we were talking about. | ||
| And now we will jump back to where the recording picks up with another... | ||
| Full of shit story that Alex is telling. | ||
| All the best, folks. | ||
| So, now... | ||
| Minus one for you! | ||
| I'll take it. | ||
| So, now we get to probably my favorite story that Alex is lying about on this show. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It is the best. | ||
| And Alex loses his shit talking about it. | ||
| He links through to the German newspapers. | ||
| You can't make this up. | ||
| I remember covering this last year. | ||
| Oh, you can't. | ||
| German court rules man can urinate while standing up. | ||
| Feminist groups had claimed that men urinating standing up was a privilege over women and was an act of male dominance. | ||
| But a court has ruled that they will not pay a 2,855 pound damage for a feminist landowner, apartment owner, that said that her male renters might splatter on the seat. | ||
| But remember last year Michelle Obama said, don't say the word bossy because feminists aren't bossy. | ||
| No, what you are is a bunch of hardcore totalitarian scumbags that want to control reality and lecture us how to live and operate while telling women that they shouldn't have a man in the house so they're alone and the state's their husband and a woman shouldn't have a gun. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Everybody's done with you and we know who you are, filth, and it's declassified. | ||
| You're CIA-funded. | ||
| Second hour coming up. | ||
| We'll pee standing up. | ||
| You can go to hell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we did it! | |
| I will be honest. | ||
| I don't agree with anything he said. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what he said! | |
| I've never been more pumped than him going out to break and declassifying your CIA funding. | ||
| We're going to piss standing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can go to hell. | |
| Who? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Who declassified what? | ||
| Who is the CIA funding? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do Germans use pounds now? | |
| Oh, no. | ||
| That's because it... | ||
| There's a... | ||
| The article that he's going off of had a transfer of... | ||
| What's it called? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Conversion. | |
| That's it. | ||
| It had it converted. | ||
| We are only doing live shows from now on. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So, this story that he's talking about is super fun. | ||
| First of all, he's talking about it as being some sort of feminist intrusion on men's rights to piss standing up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's really funny because... | ||
| That happens all the time. | ||
| This story is about a dude... | ||
| Whose landlord was like, hey, because you piss standing up, the urea that you spill has ruined the marble around the toilet. | ||
| I'm suing you because that's not covered by the deposit that you put down. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| Hey, you ruined my tile. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck off. | |
| But that case ended up being found in favor of the guy who did the pissing. | ||
| But also, I've found a bunch of stories about this. | ||
| Every single story refers to the landlord as a man. | ||
| He's a male feminist. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| But he's saying that this woman landlord... | ||
| What is a male feminist but a woman? | ||
| Fair... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| That's science! | ||
| The rhythm of your speech tricked me into agreeing with you. | ||
| Yeah, so in this, the ruling comes after a landlord took his... | ||
| Former tenant to court for refusing to pay for damage to the marble floor of the bathroom in his flat, and he said was caused by stray drops from the tenant's habit of relieving himself standing up. | ||
| Now, I do think... | ||
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm kind of... | |
| Like, stray drops did it? | ||
| It's a little dubious. | ||
| Like, you have to pee all over the fucking floor. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| You've got to really go for it. | ||
| Yeah, it kind of has to... | ||
| Now, now, don't get me wrong. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm not judging. | ||
| I get drunk enough to pee all over the walls. | ||
| I'm not worried. | ||
| Undoubtedly. | ||
| I do think that this is really funny, and everybody, if you want to look into it, there is a little bit of a debate in Germany about whether or not it's okay to piss standing up at public urinals and public bathrooms because of the mess you make and stuff like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you piss sitting down at a urinal, though? | |
| Oh, dude. | ||
| That's just a question I have. | ||
| Don't fucking pretend you don't know how that works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, what do you mean I don't know how that works? | |
| You say you're drunk enough to piss on the wall, you're not drunk enough to squat in a urinal? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I'm drunk enough to shit in a urinal, I'm not drunk enough to pee in one. | |
| The same mechanics work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, alright, alright, I buy it, I buy it. | |
| So anyway, he's not done with this story. | ||
| I've heard about feminists in public schools years ago. | ||
| I didn't believe this when I first heard about it, like 20 years ago. | ||
| I would hear about it on Conservative Talk Radio because they cover this. | ||
| And I think, the feminists aren't trying to make boys in elementary school and then in high school pee sitting because it makes girls feel bad. | ||
| And I went and looked it up and they actually do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I mean, these people want to tell you how to urinate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, so does Tim Allen. | |
| I don't think anyone got that. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It's a 90s bit. | ||
| He wanted to tell you how to pee? | ||
| Yeah, he did a whole, like, he had a whole year's worth of, like, men are supposed to pee with a seat up. | ||
| Like, it was ridiculous. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| I get it. | ||
| I'm a comedy nerd, and we just had Jay make fun of nerds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck off. | |
| You know what I have to say to that? | ||
| Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. | ||
| That's the worst Tim Allen I've ever heard in my entire life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've never claimed to be an impression guy. | |
| That's Alex's Bernie Sanders writ large. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| That's writ large. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bat, bat, bat. | |
| Rit large. | ||
| Across the wall. | ||
| So, um... | ||
| Alex is super excited when he wants to talk about people telling you how to piss. | ||
| And that is fair. | ||
| Because that's fun. | ||
| That's really fun. | ||
| It is kind of fun. | ||
| But I love this next clip. | ||
| It's probably one of my favorite things I've found. | ||
| Dan, question. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You pee sitting down? | ||
| Sometimes, baby! | ||
| I don't know if you know this, but I've made the point very clear already on this podcast. | ||
| I like to be casual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, alright. | |
| I got zero problems sitting down to pee. | ||
| Sometimes you have to take a load off. | ||
| I feel like you should be wearing cargo pants while you say that. | ||
| I feel like that's important. | ||
| So, hey, gotta keep a place for my scissors along my leg. | ||
| I don't know why scissors. | ||
| Scissors? | ||
| What are you doing with scissors in your leg? | ||
| I was very close to saying bolt cutters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Honestly. | |
| I decided to scale it down to scissor, and I don't know why I came up with either. | ||
| Who's the fucking centrist now? | ||
| You're walking around with bolt cutters? | ||
| Goddamn, son. | ||
| Sounds like it's you. | ||
| I'm a bitch. | ||
| This next clip is one of my favorite things. | ||
| It's because if you really listen to this and you know that Alex knows that this is his last show on KLBJ in Austin. | ||
| That you can just tell, like, that's feeding into him, and his heart is not into this at all. | ||
| This is a sad clip? | ||
| Towards the end, he's just sort of phoning this baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| We got a bunch of epic videos and things to play. | ||
| We'll get to all of them when we come back after this quick break. | ||
| This is fucking droopy dog shit right here. | ||
| This is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not on radio anymore. | |
| But reality is so much more incredible than what... | ||
| Madison Avenue and Wall Street and Hollywood and the Times Square mentality could even imagine. | ||
| The world is so much bigger than just dominating fellow humans and treating them like chattel, like bricks to build a wall of enslavement. | ||
| Humanity are burning souls ready to be empowered. | ||
| Go to break! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go to break! | |
| Get him to break! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ready to be empowered. | |
| Ready to be. | ||
| Given the universe. | ||
| And that's what these tyrants seek to shudder. | ||
| They will think that humanity will rise. | ||
| Who? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I reject the premise. | ||
| I think that's my new catchphrase. | ||
| I'm actually confused. | ||
| What is the premise of this? | ||
| Alex is tired. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| I'm sick of the bullshit. | ||
| That's not a bad premise. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| So at this point, what he decides to do is like, I gotta fill about another 40 minutes of radio. | ||
| But I'm bummed. | ||
| So I'm just gonna take some calls. | ||
| Ooh, that's not a good idea. | ||
| While he's bummed? | ||
| Fun trivia. | ||
| This is like public therapy then. | ||
| Fun trivia. | ||
| He gets two callers named Gerald. | ||
| That's meaningless trivia. | ||
| We're not gonna listen to either of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| You know what that is? | ||
| That is just more proof that his audience is white. | ||
| That's the most proof. | ||
| And so is this clip. | ||
| Well, I mean, let's just face it. | ||
| A lot of cultures in Asia contributed to science, and everybody contributed. | ||
| But, my God, I mean, the West made civilization what it is today. | ||
| And every other culture adopted it because it was the most efficient and dominant. | ||
| And absolutely, it's a threat. | ||
| It's renaissance, so it's under attack. | ||
| The elite want the fruits of the renaissance, but while denying us all. | ||
| And by the way, this is in major news. | ||
| Hating Whitey, that's the name of the course. | ||
| Arizona has a course on how whites are bad. | ||
| It was also in Black Sheep. | ||
| Yeah, we can talk about that a little bit more here in a bit. | ||
| It's a class that this Arizona professor was teaching about the problem of whiteness. | ||
| And as we've discussed, it's not about white people being bad. | ||
| It's about the concept and historical implications of the idea of whiteness. | ||
| It's an exclusionary idea. | ||
| It's actually about people saying things like... | ||
| Other people have contributed to society or whatever, but the West nailed it. | ||
| So now, just for fun, I have a list. | ||
| That's kind of the problem of being white. | ||
| I have a list of things that Chinese, just the Chinese, have attributed and given to culture. | ||
| Paper! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whiskey! | |
| Dogs! | ||
| Moving type printing! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gunpowder! | |
| The concept of right! | ||
| The compass! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alcohol! | |
| The mechanical clock! | ||
| Tea! | ||
| Silk! | ||
| The umbrella! | ||
| Iron smelting! | ||
| Porcelain! | ||
| Bronze! | ||
| Kites! | ||
| Seed drills! | ||
| Toothbrushes! | ||
| Money! | ||
| Coffins! | ||
| Bells, fired bricks, noodles, artillery, cannons, ephedrine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ephedrine? | |
| That might not be right. | ||
| I might have mistyped that. | ||
| I'm going to stand by it anyway. | ||
| Yeah, I might as well go with it. | ||
| Dry docks, handguns, incense, irrigation, parachutes, pinhole cameras, sunglasses, toilet paper. | ||
| Pinhole cameras? | ||
| That's kind of perverted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wells. | |
| They made wells. | ||
| We didn't have wells before. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| But yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where'd you put the water? | |
| You're so delighted by that. | ||
| I'm thrilled! | ||
| Anyway, I deem that last clip fairly racist. | ||
| Yeah, I'm gonna go with the top five. | ||
| I feel like whenever you're like, all of these cultures that literally invented all the stuff we built off of, they contributed, but we're the fucking best. | ||
| Just because Arabia came up with the number zero, thus changing the entire scope of humanity from then on forth, doesn't mean we shouldn't keep them out. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| So, we all love... | ||
| Big round of applause if you love... | ||
| InfoWars supplements. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bone broth is key. | |
| If you listen to our show, then you know that one of the things that Alex Jones is very wishy-washy about, to an extensive degree, is whether or not super male vitality is a boner pill. | ||
| He pretends it's not when he wants to be classy, but then he'll often do a little bit of a wink. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Hey Rob, you take super male vitality, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, and my wife gets fucked a lot now. | |
| My wife done told me to stop. | ||
| So, I think we can put that debate to bed once and for all with this completely absurd clip. | ||
| We only promote the very best hardcore, over-the-top stuff. | ||
| The quote Mike Judge, Super Metal Vitality is all about energy, stamina, but it's all about... | ||
| I mean, it is... | ||
| I don't know if people know what that means, but let's just say it's dramatic. | ||
| It is dramatic. | ||
| It's the real deal. | ||
| Stay with us. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I originally thought he said traumatic, and I was like, that makes perfect sense. | ||
| Nailed it. | ||
| Traumatic is right. | ||
| I have a couple really important thoughts. | ||
| The first is... | ||
| That's one of them. | ||
| That's important. | ||
| But the more important part of that is who doesn't get what boy-oy-oy-oy-oy is in reference to? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The nine-year-olds who listen to a show? | ||
| God damn it, if there are any, that's a tragic accident. | ||
| Yeah, it's rough. | ||
| The other really important piece of this that I do not understand in any way is I have never had an erection that I've been like, thank God, this is dramatic. | ||
| I've never been like, my erection lacks drama. | ||
|
unidentified
|
*laughter* | |
| So, we have one last clip to listen to here. | ||
| Whether tis nobler in the dick or the mind to suffer the slings and pussies of outrageous misfortune, to sleep, to fuck no more! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| For everyone listening at home, a cascade of roses just hit the stage. | ||
| So we've got one more clip, and this is fun. | ||
| This is literally the last things that Alex Jones ever said on KLBJ. | ||
| Global governments hear it's taken over. | ||
| Don't ever take for granted hearing this radio show in your area. | ||
| Real quick, I do need to stress that at no point in this episode does he say, this is my last episode. | ||
| So he's preparing the audience. | ||
| He's giving a farewell episode without ever being like, well, we're never going to be here again. | ||
| One thousand percent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's a soft finale. | ||
| Support those local AM and FM affiliates. | ||
| Spread the word about our free podcasts and audio feeds at Infowars.com. | ||
| We're going upstream fast, but we're swimming upstream. | ||
| We need your prayers and support, and thank you all for your support. | ||
| But don't take free open media for granted. | ||
| You never know when it might not be there the next time you tuned in. | ||
| That's the same way life works. | ||
| You gotta make hay while the sun shines. | ||
| And there's a battle going on worldwide for what will control the future destiny of the planet. | ||
| So, I went to Infowars.com and I found Alex Jones' bio. | ||
| I'd like to read you from it. | ||
| I went to the website yesterday. | ||
| Alex's mainstay is a nationally syndicated talk news show produced from his studio in Austin and broadcast on the Genesis Communications Network based in Minnesota. | ||
| The Alex Jones Show airs on over 160 AM FM and shortwave stations across the United States. | ||
| There must be a lot of shortwave stations then. | ||
| Oh, tons of them, yeah. | ||
| And a lot of rivers. | ||
| A lot of rivers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Breaker, breaker, one conspiracy. | |
| As well, Alex's show is the largest draw for the talk genre on Shoutcast and the internet. | ||
| Alex does a syndicated and nationally broadcast Sunday show on MS Communications, KLBJ 590 AM in Austin, Texas. | ||
| It's still in his bio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| What a bummer. | ||
| I went and confirmed, by the way. | ||
| God, he was so sad at the end of that. | ||
| I went and confirmed and checked out KLBJ's schedule. | ||
| When is he on today? | ||
| He's not. | ||
| Is he not on today? | ||
| How about Sunday? | ||
| Interestingly, that retirement show is still on. | ||
| That retirement show is still getting played. | ||
| Also really fun, I found this while looking around, trying to figure out sort of the bottom line about this, and it turns out that the next week, the people at KLBJ were so kind and generous to quote Natalie Merchant that they allowed... | ||
| Wait, were they kind and generous to quote Natalie Merchant, or were they quoting Natalie Merchant to be kind and generous? | ||
| They quoted... | ||
| They were like, Natalie Merchant needs us to quote her right now. | ||
| This press release is super weird. | ||
| They're just saying Alex Jones must be one of God's own creations. | ||
| I can't remember the rest of the lyrics, I've got to be honest. | ||
| Yeah, you're fired. | ||
| So they allowed him to broadcast a message during the time slot that he was on the week prior. | ||
| Call Larry Nichols! | ||
| What he said was, hey folks, Alex Jones here with an important announcement for all the great listeners of my show here on News Radio K90 at KLBJ. | ||
| The decision has been made to move the local programming on Saturdays and Sundays. | ||
| And even though my show originates out of Austin, it's national news. | ||
| Good spin. | ||
| So, for the time being, it will no longer be heard on Sunday evenings. | ||
| My syndicated broadcast to over 100 affiliates will continue. | ||
| I really appreciate my relationship with NewsRadio 590, KLBJ, and the good news is that the infowar continues! | ||
| That's not good news. | ||
| Syndicated to over 100 stations and via the web, he gives his website. | ||
| In five sentences, he had to mention 100 stations multiple times. | ||
| This is like when Phil Hartman died all over again, Dan. | ||
| So also I found an article that was posted on the internet by a guy named C.J. Morgan, who is the guy who hosts the weekday 7 p.m. to midnight shift at KLBJ. | ||
| He went so far as to post on their website in 2016 the following headline. | ||
| Fuck that guy! | ||
| Quote, Alex Jones is a fraud, dangerous, and I'm ashamed we ever had him on this station. | ||
| From that article. | ||
| I met him at... | ||
| Quote. | ||
| I met him in person at the station once. | ||
| Ran a broadcast in which we interviewed him during South by Southwest, and I would listen to the Freedom Nugget segments on Charlie Hodges' show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait. | |
| I don't care. | ||
| I don't know what any of that means. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| There's a Freedom Nugget? | ||
| Freedom Nugget? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Freedom Nugget. | ||
| It might be Nugent misspelled. | ||
| Freedom Nugent segment? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That seems like a segment he would do. | |
| Nugent is trapped in the wilderness. | ||
| That's a good show. | ||
| Yeah, that actually is a good show. | ||
| I don't want to read the rest of this quote. | ||
| Let's fucking work out the beats! | ||
| Discovery! | ||
| Discovery Channel! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on! | |
| Naked, Nugent, and Afraid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Done! | |
| Done! | ||
| Take it to series! | ||
| I don't like the first word. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| I do like the idea of Nugent and Afraid. | ||
| Like, what would make him afraid? | ||
| Oh, not white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit! | |
| So, back to this quote from C.J. Morgan. | ||
| He says, quote, He's a nice guy. | ||
| Eventually it became too much. | ||
| His blatant disregard for any rational truth, the way he capitalized on tragedy, Sandy Hook crisis actors, to profit off his listeners, selling fucking supplements, how he yells and bullies any opposition. | ||
| Our encounters with his truly mentally ill followers stopping by the station with their manifestos, needing his help. | ||
| In parentheses, he hates his fans, by the way. | ||
| It's too much, end quote. | ||
| So, I don't know how to wrap this up, but... | ||
| I think he actually just summarized everything we've done our show about for a year and a half. | ||
| I will say that, yeah, his quote passes my smell test. | ||
| It seems very, very in line with the vibe of this cat that I've gotten. | ||
| Overstudying him for a year and a half. | ||
| I think within a paragraph he summarized everything we've ever tried to do. | ||
| I think that's what that is. | ||
| I will say that I wish, you know, if we had do-overs, I wish I would have spent less time being a dick about how low his ratings were and talked more about that German pea shit. | ||
| I'm interested in that German pea shit. | ||
| I would recommend everyone look into it. | ||
| There's very serious... | ||
| I really wish I hadn't said that on tape. | ||
| I'm interested in that German pea shit. | ||
| Now you said it twice. | ||
| I don't want that out there. | ||
| Everyone out there, if you're listening, make a techno remix of Jordan saying, I'm interested in that German pea shit. | ||
| I'll do like four or five takes if you need one. | ||
| So, I mean, this is it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| This is it? | ||
| Yeah, that's the end of Alex Jones' broadcasting on KLBJ, and that's the end of our clips. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I mean, this is still a podcast, right? | ||
| This has been really fun. | ||
| So do we do the thing where we tell people to follow us on Twitter? | ||
| I suppose we're supposed to. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We're on Twitter at knowledge underscore fight. | ||
| Facebook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Facebook? | |
| We also have a website, knowledgefight.com. | ||
| Everything is great. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Whose turn is it? | ||
| I think it's yours. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Go home and tell your mother you're beautiful? | ||
| That's a weird thing to say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| Close enough. | ||
| I really love it. | ||
| I kind of wish that was what we called it. | ||
| If you Google that on Facebook, you'll probably find our group. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let's let someone in the audience choose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| That's right. | ||
| Now, let's do this civilly. | ||
| I don't know how to do that. | ||
| I think actually... | ||
| Who should... | ||
| I don't think anybody... | ||
| I don't think anybody in our audience is not civil. | ||
| Who feels like somebody needs to go fuck themselves real hard? | ||
| Alright, hold on. | ||
| Before you answer... | ||
| Big round of applause for the comics you saw earlier tonight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Adam Sirwa, J.Y. Cotton, give it up for them. | |
| Everyone at the bar who's been so great. | ||
| Yes, please say it. | ||
| Beer land. | ||
| Everybody stick around. | ||
| We have an amazing burlesque show coming up for you very shortly. | ||
| Preemptive round of applause for them and for yourselves. | ||
| Thank you so much for coming out. | ||
| Now, someone yell out a person that Jordan will tell to go fuck themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| I think there's only one answer. | ||
| We nailed it right there. | ||
| Wait, is this person possibly a cross-dressing peeping Tom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Zodiac Killer. | |
| The son of the man who murdered JFK. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A peeping Tom. | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, go fuck yourself, Ted Cruz. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for holding. | |
| Hello, Alex. | ||
| I'm a Christian caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your work. |