Today, Dan tells Jordan all about the January 21, 2009 episode of The Alex Jones Show. Barack Obama has been president for exactly one day, and Alex is already way off board with the idea of giving him a chance. Alex spends most of the show poorly parsing Obama's inauguration speech, then welcomes two complete weirdo guests to spice things up.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey, everybody. | ||
| Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan. | ||
| We're a couple dudes who like to sit around, drink novelty beverages, and talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Indeed we do, Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Dan! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dan! | ||
| What's up, sir? | ||
| It's been a while since I've been here. | ||
| Yeah, big thank you to Marty DeRosa for sitting here. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Absolutely fantastic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Delightful time. | |
| Absolutely fantastic. | ||
| Yeah, good times. | ||
| But Dan, it has been so long since I've been here. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That I don't even remember what the hell our show is about. | ||
| So could you refresh my memory on what it is we're doing? | ||
| So I, about a year and a half ago, decided I'm going to learn everything there is to learn about Alex Jones. | ||
| Right, because you're sane. | ||
| You decided to live a normal life. | ||
| And at this point, you know very little about Alex Jones, or retain very little of the information about him. | ||
| Yeah, I heard Marty's very direct criticism. | ||
| How dare you, sir? | ||
| He would argue that's not criticism, and I defend that assertion. | ||
| But, yeah, I know a lot about him. | ||
| You don't know much about him. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| There's our fun. | ||
| Also, today, I want to give a special thank you to you for still making it over here. | ||
| After shows and working all day, you're going the extra mile, and I really appreciate it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I think I'm about to lose my mind. | ||
| I think I'm on three hours sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've worked about 15 hours straight now. | ||
| Just got off stage. | ||
| Just got off stage, and now I'm here, so here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Frankly... | |
| I might have just got off stage. | ||
| I did not remember getting here. | ||
| This could be a fever dream. | ||
| This was a long ways away, and I don't remember how long it took. | ||
| So before we get into this, today we're going to be going over, what is this, January 21st of 2009. | ||
| All right. | ||
| One day into Barack Hussein Obama's presidency. | ||
| Not going to lie, that feels present. | ||
| One day. | ||
| All right. | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep that in mind. | |
| So he gave him a chance, as we know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| If we look back on what he said in the present and compare it with what he did now, he obviously really believed that Obama could bring some hope and change. | ||
| We all got caught up in the fervor. | ||
| He didn't want to be cynical. | ||
| We all got caught up in the fervor. | ||
| So Alex, I'm assuming, says, here is what we hope Obama fixes. | ||
| And here is what we think Obama should do to fix these problems. | ||
| Let's have reasonable expectations. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Just like he would ask of people on Trump's inauguration day. | ||
| Right, right, right, right. | ||
| Be reasonable. | ||
| No, let's push our hands across the aisle for a big hearty handshake and hope for the future. | ||
| We will see what he says. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But something that gives me hope for the future is our... | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Wonderful transition, Dan. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| A couple of our new donors. | ||
| I'd like to give a shout out. | ||
| What's going on out there, Jonathan M.? | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| We appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you very much, Jonathan. | ||
| Thank you for becoming a policy wonk. | ||
| Also, thank you very much for not being Jonathan Franzen. | ||
| He's a shit writer. | ||
| I hate him. | ||
| I hate him. | ||
| Bringing out a weird mood in you. | ||
| I'm furious at Jonathan Franzen for some reason. | ||
| As tired as you are, I'm fairly tired, too. | ||
| And I can't pull up my mental Rolodex of what I think about Jonathan Franzen. | ||
| I'm not entirely sure. | ||
| I'm going to have to get back to you on the next episode. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| Something I am sure of is how much I appreciate it. | ||
| Nicely done. | ||
| That's two for two, Dan. | ||
| Autopilot. | ||
| Thank you so much to our new donor, Sam. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| I'm a policy worker. | ||
| Thank you very much, Sam. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| We appreciate it. | ||
| Also, one more thank you so much to Evan. | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| You all are now policy wonks. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| If you would like to become a policy wonk yourself out there, you can do so by going to our website, knowledgefight.com, clicking the support the show button. | ||
| That really helps out. | ||
| It makes this doable. | ||
| We appreciate it. | ||
| Also, I did get some messages. | ||
| Buttons are being sent out. | ||
| I've not given you the addresses. | ||
| Hold on one second. | ||
| I have had... | ||
| Eight different goddamn buttons returned. | ||
| What? | ||
| I just got one. | ||
| I've had so many buttons returned. | ||
| I have not heard about this. | ||
| One of them I sent. | ||
| Two months ago, and it showed up in my mail last week, and I'm trying to send you buttons. | ||
| Now, granted, not doing a good job at it. | ||
| That's not on you. | ||
| That's on the postal service. | ||
| The band. | ||
| I kind of feel like it's not. | ||
| It might just be my shitty handwriting. | ||
| It could be your shitty handwriting. | ||
| Also, I think one of them, at least, was probably sent overseas, and we don't know how to send things overseas. | ||
| No, we don't. | ||
| I think if you got one I sent you from overseas, then that was a heroic effort on my part. | ||
| If you requested a button a couple months ago and didn't get one, or you just want one, you can send us a message at knowledgefightatgmail.com, and we'll do our best. | ||
| Please do. | ||
| I swear to you, I have put every button. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| Taped the shit out of an envelope. | ||
| After the first attempt, yes. | ||
| Yeah, the first attempt did not go well. | ||
| You live and learn. | ||
| Yeah, so I have done every single one of them and I've had a shit ton return. | ||
| So if you requested a button and you did not get one, please just remind me and I will send them out to you again. | ||
| And also, we'll have tons of buttons in Austin when we were down there for our live show June 15th at Beerland. | ||
| Nice plug. | ||
| Plenty of buttons. | ||
| We're just going to throw them at the crowd like it's a... | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| Seat's going fast. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Don't think they have seats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it might be a standing room only situation. | |
| But you know what? | ||
| Could be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If it is, that might be trouble. | |
| A two-hour long podcast about Alex Jones, standing room only? | ||
| Ooh, that might be weird. | ||
| Yeah, we can't do that. | ||
| I'm excited for this. | ||
| Let's buy some chairs. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| We'll see what happens. | ||
| Let's buy some chairs? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're going to need a lot more policy walks to buy chairs. | ||
| I can't imagine a situation where people are watching a podcast standing up. | ||
| That's got to be so weird. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like the Comedians of Comedy Tour, man. | ||
| Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford. | ||
| They were... | ||
| We are neither of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's true. | ||
| And our show would be us sitting down talking about Alex Jones. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| We would have to stand up the whole show. | ||
| I'm like, I don't want to do that. | ||
| We should have this off-air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, probably. | |
| Something else that should have been off-air is Alex Jones making this admission, which is our out-of-context drop for today. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, I have to say this. | ||
| I've done cocaine twice. | ||
| When I was 15, 16, I'd be at a party or something, and somebody would say, you know, there's some cocaine in this joint or in this cigarette, and you'd smoke some of it, and it would just make me feel like... | ||
| A dirty coffee high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alex. | |
| So. | ||
| So one of these kids was offering me drugs. | ||
| They were offering me... | ||
| I took heroin, and then later on I smoked a joint. | ||
| And I'll tell you right now, this joint. | ||
| That's out of control. | ||
| These kids with their drugs these days. | ||
| I'm definitely not an off-duty writer for a... | ||
| 21 Jump Street. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I want to say, first of all, Alex Jones seems to do every drug twice. | ||
| He seems to, every single time he brings one up, he's like, I've done it twice. | ||
| Well, yeah, but you don't know... | ||
| For the first time. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And frankly, I think two... | ||
| Your body's not used to it. | ||
| Two isn't even enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| You need three to develop a pattern that's called the scientific method, Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Also... | |
| Even when doing drugs... | ||
| Alex doesn't believe in science. | ||
| Smoking cocaine in a joint won't do anything to you. | ||
| It's a bad idea. | ||
| If you breathe some of the cocaine into your mouth, it'll make your mouth numb. | ||
| I don't remember exactly what it is, but the point at which it would be combustible or boilable, you're not going to get it with a cherry on a joint. | ||
| It doesn't do anything. | ||
| He was smoking crack. | ||
| There's a reason crack pipes get really, really hot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And why you have to cook the cocaine into crack to change that boiling. | |
| Who's putting cocaine? | ||
| Also, what? | ||
| This is like 25 years ago. | ||
| Maybe children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's possible. | |
| Because he's saying it's 15-year-olds. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And maybe they're, you know, like, sprinkle some cocaine in here. | ||
| Very wasteful. | ||
| I'm going out on a limb. | ||
| If this story is true, which it probably isn't. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| If it is true, Alex, they were fucking with you. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| That's a waste of good coke. | ||
| So anyway, let's jump into this. | ||
| Or if you're 15 or 16, probably bad coke at the time. | ||
| I would assume so, especially in the 70s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, 80s? | ||
| 80s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Anyway, back to the main matter at hand. | ||
| That is, Barack Obama is now the president of the United States. | ||
| Smoking coke. | ||
| For one day, here's where Alex Jones' fucking stupid head is at. | ||
| Again, not giving him a chance. | ||
| Barack Obama, the one-term senator. | ||
| Petty. | ||
| Who supposedly will save us, but then they don't tell the public while they're promising, we will save you, we will give you jobs, we will help you. | ||
| Meanwhile, over a trillion dollars a week is being stolen by a criminal syndicate of offshore banks. | ||
| They told Congress that they are under martial law under the War Powers Act, and that's in mainstream news, and the public just dances. | ||
| You know, the kids are buying all the comic books with Obama on the cover as the hero with Superman and Spidey, and the people are smiling and feeling good. | ||
| Spidey. | ||
| Spidey. | ||
| You know, Superman and Spidey. | ||
| He's very familiar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he is your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. | |
| That's a fair point. | ||
| Look, Mr. Spider-Man was my dad, alright? | ||
| So, Congress was not told that they're under martial law based on the War Powers Act. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hey, Dan, let me ask you a question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What's the GDP of the United States? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Like, per year? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| What would you say, like, the budget is? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it $52 trillion? | ||
| No. | ||
| Such that... | ||
| One trillion dollars a week could be stolen? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| Also, Alex says this, like, I don't know, I don't remember what, if it's in the present or in the past, but I can't re-find the clip, but he's talking about how, like, there are globalists who are making 20 billion dollars an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot. | |
| To me, I just think, like, I don't know how that's possible. | ||
| Like business days or just, like, average? | ||
| They work, it's like stand-ups. | ||
| You know, you make a ton an hour, but you only work 15 minutes. | ||
| Right, exactly, exactly. | ||
| It could be that sort of thing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you say, if you're a billionaire making billions an hour, you're probably not going to work the full 40 hours a week. | ||
| No, that'd be foolish. | ||
| Yeah, you put in 25, right? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| You don't get benefits then. | ||
| Ah, that's trouble. | ||
| Also, the War Powers Act is sort of just a colloquial name for the War Powers Resolution that was passed in 1973. | ||
| It has nothing to do with telling Congress that you're under martial law, which we weren't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Wait, you can just tell Congress specifically that Congress is under martial law? | ||
| I think he's saying that Barack Obama, obviously. | ||
| Hussein. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He told Congress that the United States is under martial law. | ||
| And the only reason he's saying that is because the War Powers Act was made after Vietnam. | ||
| Because they wanted to try and clarify what the roles of Congress and the President are in terms of, like, deploying people and shit like that. | ||
| And I read over it, and most of it has to do with, like, just strict guidelines about if you send people, you have to tell Congress. | ||
| So he's just operating off of that and just making shit up. | ||
| Because as we know, we weren't under martial law. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| That didn't happen. | ||
| No, and also, I'm fairly certain, no matter how... | ||
| In America, I don't think any sitting president could ever just raise his hand and just be like, martial law! | ||
| Done! | ||
| Martial law! | ||
| I call martial law! | ||
| Under Alex's conception... | ||
| I'm not it! | ||
| You're it! | ||
| Martial law! | ||
| Under Alex's idea, it's not the president that's doing it. | ||
| It's this hundred-year-long plan of this cabal. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| And what have you. | ||
| So he's just bringing it to fruition. | ||
| He's telling Congress what they already knew. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| Because he's the Antichrist. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So that's a bunch of nonsense. | ||
| But it should illustrate that, like, Alex... | ||
| The next day, already, just, I'm gonna piss on Obama. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I hate this guy. | ||
| Fuck this guy. | ||
| The worst! | ||
| The worst! | ||
| Not even a date! | ||
| Look at him! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| For some reason, when I look at him, I think bad president. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I mean, it's just when I look at him, my first thought is bad president. | ||
| I don't see any possible reason for that, other than a gut feeling. | ||
| Now flash forward to 2016. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've heard people say he smells like sulfur. | |
| At least the narrative progressed slightly. | ||
| I will give him credit for that. | ||
| So, Jordan, generally when we like to have a good time on this show, we end up seeing Alex Jones singing along to the highway map. | ||
| Loving it. | ||
| We also saw Eastbound and Down on the last one. | ||
| Great song to sing along to. | ||
| Gets everybody going. | ||
| I have to make a public admission. | ||
| None of these songs are Alex Jones' favorite song. | ||
| Oh, Alex Jones has a favorite song. | ||
| I'm pretty clear that this next song is Alex Jones' literal favorite song back then. | ||
| Because he plays it on almost every show and gets really sentimental. | ||
| But he doesn't always sing along. | ||
| However, on the January 21st episode... | ||
| He decides to sing along. | ||
| All right, so I'm going to go ahead and guess it's the Yeah, Yeah, Yes. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| What cut of theirs? | ||
| Because, you know, there's a lot of... | ||
| I'm going to go with Maps. | ||
| He seems like a very kind of basic... | ||
| He doesn't like the deep cuts. | ||
| He likes the singles. | ||
| I'm going to go with Maps. | ||
| Did that come out by this point? | ||
| It came out in 2001. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It came out on 9-11, actually. | ||
| Happy 9-11. | ||
| Happy 9-11. | ||
| Wait, can't get away with that melody. | ||
| Can't sing it legally. | ||
| No, it is actually a song called Grave Digger by Willie Nelson. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It came out on Willie Nelson's 2008 album Moment of Forever and was forgotten by literally everyone except Alex Jones. | ||
| I think I remember how that song is. | ||
| It's like, I ain't saying she's a grave digger, but she ain't. | ||
| It's not that one. | ||
| No, it's not that one? | ||
| Nope, but here it is. | ||
| Cyrus Jones. | ||
| Cyrus Jones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Cyrus Jones from 1810 to 1913. | ||
| Haiti's great-grandchildren believed you could live to 103. | ||
| 103 is forever when you're just a little kid. | ||
| So, Cyrus Jones lived forever. | ||
| Learn your goddamn cue, Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you dig my grave, would you make a shallow soul so I can feel the rain? | |
| Not Willie's best way. | ||
| Hey, police, they taught you to violate the bellerize the conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First of all, fuck you for judging his timing. | |
| He has terrible timing with singing, but he got right into the, hey, police, as soon as that backbeat kicked in. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| He knows what he's doing, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good broadcasting. | |
| That's good stuff. | ||
| But it's terrible singing. | ||
| I do agree. | ||
| He does not understand meter and rhythm. | ||
| He's got to figure out, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But that's not to be too much of a surprise. | ||
| Anyway, let's see what he's saying after that beat kicks in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They slowly twisted you to the dark side. | |
| And now you get to drink from the same cup as the people. | ||
| I know most of you aren't evil, but you're not speaking out against the evil. | ||
| You know, when my writers are writing a story about a woman spilling a glass of, her kids spilling a glass of tomato juice and being charged with terrorism, L.A. Times. | ||
| Thousands of others. | ||
| Go look at those cases. | ||
| Look at the people's names, men and women. | ||
| I've seen a bunch of reports on airplanes where somebody who's in shock, they won't respond. | ||
| They start babbling. | ||
| They're delirious. | ||
| They land the airplane. | ||
| People come on board. | ||
| They're unresponsive to the cop. | ||
| They taser them. | ||
| And then guess what happens? | ||
| They get charged. | ||
| And in a few of the cases, they've been reasonable. | ||
| After they've already tortured them and dropped the charges, but there's other cases where they don't. | ||
| Oh, you don't believe me? | ||
| Just Google those terms and you'll pull that up. | ||
| Google diabetic charged with terrorism or man charged with terrorism for collapsing on plane. | ||
| This is the new system. | ||
| A predatory government just viciously, savagely, not even going after people that resist it. | ||
| They go after us as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Going after completely innocent mainline dumbo sheep. | ||
| That's not nice. | ||
| Because they've got camps to fill. | ||
| They've got prisons to fill. | ||
| It's a business. | ||
| Fucking Alex Jones understood in 2009. | ||
| Against the for-profit prison industry. | ||
| Alex Jones understood that prisons were a business and they were being filled. | ||
| Well, I mean, we could look at the statistics and find that it's mostly being filled by black people, which is a coincidence. | ||
| Maybe Alex doesn't want to talk about that. | ||
| He'd rather talk about how black people have higher rates of abortion, and he's a hero for being against that. | ||
| I believe, if I recall correctly from what he just said, they're even coming after us. | ||
| Which, I understand what he's saying in the context here, but I also kind of hear it. | ||
| There's plenty of time for the racial stuff later. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| Don't jump the gun. | ||
| That, I think, is just those who would resist. | ||
| I think that's what he's saying in his head. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he is... | ||
| So black people. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| What he's saying, though, dude, is really troubling. | ||
| You know, that he's fully aware in 2009 that prisons are a business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're being run like a business, and you going to prison makes them money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, and also they can profit off of your labor. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| Very weird. | ||
| Weird how you can pay a prisoner a dollar an hour. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| It's almost like they have a financial incentive. | ||
| So the story that he's talking about, he brings up, like, maybe ten times throughout the rest of the show, is like, This person spilled tomato juice and they're charged with terrorism. | ||
| Yeah, what was up with that? | ||
| Was it like a V8? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| It was on a plane. | ||
| Because I'm going to be honest, it sounds terroristic to me. | ||
| It was on a plane, and so it had to be V8. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Here's from the LA Times article. | ||
| 26 pages redacted all about V8. | ||
| Probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Here's from the article in the LA Times that he was citing. | ||
| Tamara Jo Freeman was on a Frontier Airlines flight to Denver in 2007 when her two children began to quarrel over a window shade and then spilled a Bloody Mary into her lap. | ||
| So it wasn't tomato juice. | ||
| No. | ||
| That was booze. | ||
| Could have been a virgin Bloody Mary. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| She spanked each of them on the thigh with three swats. | ||
| It was a small incident, but one in the heightened anxiety after the September 11th terrorist attacks would eventually have enormous ramifications for Freeman and her children. | ||
| A flight attendant confronted Freeman, who responded by hurling a few profanities and throwing what remained of a can of tomato juice on the floor. | ||
| So then she got arrested, and I think it's a little fucked up, but I... | ||
| I mean, it's fucked up, but at the same time, if she wasn't wearing shoes, I'd have been totally fine with it. | ||
| Like, if she had taken her shoes off... | ||
| And they just did it for that? | ||
| I would have been fine with that. | ||
| If they were like, look, you can throw your tomato juice as far as you want, but I will be goddamned if you are going to sit here with open-toed socks here, man. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| Even this article in the LA Times says, some security experts say that the use of the law by airlines and their employees has run amok, criminalizing incidents that did not start out as a threat to public safety, much less an act of terrorism. | ||
| So, I mean, even this article is like, It's already making a more nuanced criticism than Alex is. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| That's the mainstream media. | ||
| I don't know what point he wants to make here. | ||
| Like, there's actual facts in here. | ||
| He just yells about spilled tomato juice. | ||
| He's like, hey, this is fucked up. | ||
| And everybody's like, yeah, this is fucked up. | ||
| So, where do we go from here, Alex, huh? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| The law in the Patriot Act has given airlines new flexibility to clamp down on unruly behavior. | ||
| But the intent of the Patriot Act provisions was to put terrorists in violation of the law before they could execute an actual takeover, says Nathan Sales, a law professor at George Mason University, who helped write the Patriot Act when he served in the Justice Department. | ||
| But sales acknowledged that in the fervor to protect the skies, the practical application of the law has strayed. | ||
| A woman spanking her child is not as great a threat to aviation as members of Al-Qaeda with box cutters. | ||
| That much is clear, he said. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Man, I do not like hearing George Mason. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| Not after finding out how much Coke money they're getting. | ||
| But this is more like... | ||
| I don't know anything about that. | ||
| Oh, they're getting a lot. | ||
| But if you look at this, this is more a story of sort of airlines misusing discretion that's at their disposal than it is a police state crackdown. | ||
| This is something that the airlines can deal with as a small disruption or let's get them arrested. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're often opting for the latter in order to... | ||
| Criminalize that behavior, make their job much easier, scare people. | ||
| Now, the airlines are already a cartel, so why not give them unlimited power to police themselves? | ||
| That makes perfect sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| So, um... | ||
| Let them act with impunity, because as we already know... | ||
| God damn it, if those corporations don't have our best interests in mind. | ||
| They love us. | ||
| They love us. | ||
| So, um, at this point... | ||
| Alex, we're going to miss a lot of stuff that's on this episode. | ||
| A lot of little tiny things that might be interesting but are inconsequential. | ||
| Because in this episode, he launches into, I would say, probably a little over an hour. | ||
| Breakdown of Barack Obama's inauguration speech. | ||
| That I'm in on. | ||
| It is some in-depth analysis. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here's the beginning of it. | ||
| If I recall that speech, it was a very inspiring but also pretty boilerplate speech. | ||
| It was very much like, it was like, hey, come on, guys, let's fucking do this better. | ||
| Well, Alex's take is a little different. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here's the beginning of it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I've been kind of procrastinating getting into this because it's a monumental job. | ||
| I re-watched his speech last night and again this morning and wrote several pages of notes. | ||
| So much work. | ||
| Let's just get started here. | ||
| Monumental. | ||
| With Barack Obama with two million people in attendance. | ||
| The biggest presidential inaugural ever. | ||
| See, now, he would argue that now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He would debate that point now. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| But he needs to make people scared about this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's like, oh my god, look at all these people. | ||
| There are so many people there. | ||
| That must mean it's terrifying. | ||
| And they're brainwashed by this cult of personality leader. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| It would be even better for him if there were three million people there. | ||
| Booing Bush. | ||
| As the old New World Order puppet is removed. | ||
| The old birdcage liner is removed. | ||
| It's covered with seeds and stuff the bird dropped and bird crap. | ||
| Get ready for 40 more seconds of this metaphor. | ||
| We're still going. | ||
| All of that. | ||
| I thought he already nailed it. | ||
| And instead of focusing on the bird, the New World Order that's doing all of this to us, we focus on the birdcage liner. | ||
| The media tells you the president is the boss who actually runs something. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| When the military-industrial complex has overthrown everything. | ||
| That metaphor is so labored. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So the bird... | |
| My God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Alright, this is a very complex inner life for a bird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, Alex has some problems, and one of those things is not being specific about anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And another is that Google allows you to search within websites. | ||
| What's the Naval and Army War College? | ||
| Well, here's what's interesting. | ||
| I searched within Infowars, because they don't have a search on their site anymore. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| You don't want to find that. | ||
| It turns out Google just has a function for it, though, so it's pretty easy. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| So I searched for Naval War College, and pretty much every single article came up referenced one guy. | ||
| We'll get to that in a second. | ||
| There were a couple articles that had different people, but it was very sporadic, and they were completely unrelated. | ||
| I would say 70-80% of all of the articles... | ||
| That come up reference John Schindler as the specialist from the Navy War College, which I assume is something to do with what he's talking about, but I couldn't find anything, even on Infowars, about NORTHCOM admitting that they're run by the banks and the military-industrial complex is ruling the president. | ||
| I couldn't find any of that. | ||
| You don't need to. | ||
| It's in the white papers. | ||
| Also, in my search... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In all of these. | ||
| Do you know who John Schindler is? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's an ex-NSA agent, I believe. | ||
| Oh, so you don't want to be on his list. | ||
| Or researcher or something like that. | ||
| I'm going to take a point away from him. | ||
| I just get the pun now. | ||
| He got fired for emailing a picture of his dick to somebody, which is bad spy behavior. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| Yeah, if you're a spy and you get found out for that shit, you're a bad spy. | ||
| In the aftermath of the 2016 election, also, he was... | ||
| Pretty prominent in the Louise Mench Twitter sphere. | ||
| Great, great. | ||
| So he has shown up in that. | ||
| Beyond that, I don't really know much about him. | ||
| He might have some credentials, and it does appear that he used to teach at the Navy War College. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But I don't think he was ever the head of it, and there aren't any articles on Alex's site even that talk about this. | ||
| This would take days of Googling. | ||
| To try and figure out, what are you saying? | ||
| So it would actually be a monumental amount of effort to do that, instead of just a... | ||
| Googling once and then writing down notes. | ||
| Yeah, I suppose so. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So then the other thing is that Brent mentions the Army War College. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Almost every single article in Alex Jones' fucking site on Infowars about the Army War College is warning about this one white paper. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And it sort of is relevant. | ||
| And so I read it. | ||
| It's called Known Unknowns, Unconventional Strategic Shocks in Defense Strategy Development. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it came out right before this episode would have come. | ||
| It came out, I believe, in November 2008. | ||
| And the reason for that is explained by this quote from the first page. | ||
| The current defense team confronted a game-changing strategic shock in its first eight months in office. | ||
| The next team would be well advised to expect the same. | ||
| You understand what that's saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When Bush came into office, his defense team, within eight months, had 9-11 happen, which was a game-changing strategic shock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what they mean by that is not anything nefarious. | ||
| It's just that... | ||
| Expect the unexpected. | ||
| More or less. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| These strategic shocks, it's... | ||
| Let me see where... | ||
| Okay, here's what it's about. | ||
| The document in no way says that the military-industrial complex has taken over the government. | ||
| All it says is that when strategic shocks occur in our history, like 9-11 or Pearl Harbor, immediately things get thrown into chaos, and all relevant analysis and self-assessment This is because, up to this point, and... | ||
| We sort of fall into these lulls repeatedly through history. | ||
| The Department of Defense strategy has been largely reactive in nature, and the people who work there fail in their imagination, trying to foresee things. | ||
| That's what this white paper is about. | ||
| That's a very human situation, though, there, because if you go back and you look at the way that... | ||
| Our boom and bust economy always works is whenever things go going really good, everybody deregulates everything and allows everything to get going really bad again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, every time people feel comfortable, they're like, yay, this was gonna last forever! | ||
| And then we get fucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Because nobody is capable, really, of a long-term strategy, apparently. | ||
| But to be fair, I look at it to say, like, I'm guilty of the same thing in terms of this podcast. | ||
| Like, it's just keeping up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| And if you think... | ||
| Think about everything on a... | ||
| You just scale up, you know, slightly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody, even people who are in foreign policy, even people who are working for the Defense Department are somewhat just trying to keep up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what a lot of us are doing. | ||
| At the same time, though, our job is literally reactive. | ||
| Like, that's all we are capable of. | ||
| We can't plan Alex's narratives in advance and think away. | ||
| Yeah, that's actually possible. | ||
| We probably do a better job. | ||
| I think we already kind of do. | ||
| I think we've already given him a lot of good advice over the years. | ||
| So maybe we are better at this. | ||
| We are your best advisors, Alex. | ||
| You dick. | ||
| So the only part I think that Alex paid attention to in the entire paper, and it's not very long, it's only like eight pages or so. | ||
| Eh, maybe a little more than that. | ||
| Maybe like 30. I can't remember. | ||
| I read a bunch of different things and they were varying lengths and I can't remember which is which, quite frankly. | ||
| But the only thing I think he paid attention to in this is about a possible domestic emergency. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I quote. | ||
| Oh, we're going to need some war powers there. | ||
| As a community, the defense establishment swears to protect and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. | ||
| The Department of Defense's role in combating domestic enemies has never been thoughtfully examined. | ||
| Thus, there is perhaps no greater source of strategic shock for the Defense Department than operationalizing that component of the oath of service in a widespread domestic emergency that entails rapid dissolution of public order or in all or significant parts of the United States. | ||
| They describe this as likely not an immediate prospect. | ||
| The paper doesn't say anything prescriptive. | ||
| It's not saying anyone should do X, Y, or Z. Literally, all it's saying is that the situation would be an immense challenge for the Defense Department. | ||
| So maybe put a little bit of thought into it, assholes. | ||
| It's an example of something unlikely but catastrophic that could happen because there isn't a plan in place. | ||
| There's no idea of what to do. | ||
| And so it goes through, like, here is one problem that would pop up. | ||
| You know, having to get... | ||
| I mean, you consider the possibility that... | ||
| Trump is rightfully impeached and removed from office and hopefully beheaded in front of everybody. | ||
| And then you have... | ||
| The possibility of a white nationalist separatist movement growing up. | ||
| And then you think about the white nationalists. | ||
| If he stays in, it'll be the same problem. | ||
| Well, but the thing is, if they start to get militarized, you have a white nationalist militarized government. | ||
| I have bad news. | ||
| No, I mean not militarized. | ||
| Have you heard about ICE? | ||
| They're already militarized. | ||
| I mean in a, like... | ||
| Like a literal domestic terrorism kind of way. | ||
| Worse than they are now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have you ever checked out Hate Watch? | ||
| I can't. | ||
| But you have white supremacist nationalist governors of states. | ||
| Wait, we already kind of... | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| We have at least that Stephen King guy. | ||
| Oh yeah, he's super white nationalist. | ||
| Half of those fuckers are white nationalists underneath them. | ||
| Whatever nightmare scenario... | ||
| Like Rick Scott should be... | ||
| He's a white nationalist. | ||
| Whatever nightmare scenario you're describing right now, we're already in the twilight phase of falling asleep into it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Even though we should be jolting awake and fighting for the lives and decency. | ||
| As I've always said, the only reason to have a professional military is to make sure... | ||
| We protect our borders from Florida. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Florida isolated? | ||
| Cordon it off. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Also, this is super important. | ||
| This is at the top of the white paper. | ||
| It says, quote, the views expressed in this report are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. government. | ||
| Just a guy writing out some ideas. | ||
| It's like a fucking term paper. | ||
| All resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. | ||
| And then Dick Wolf. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| What you're dealing with here is, Alex, again... | ||
| If he'd speak in specifics, I could do a better job. | ||
| But all I can go on is context clues and everything he's ever published on his website. | ||
| Now, if he wants to post an article, how Northcom has admitted that they're owned by banks. | ||
| And, you know, who cares? | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| We've got to get to this next clip, because this is where it gets a little bit racial. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Already. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
| I told you it was going to heat up pretty quick. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They slide it in, but Obama has told us what the bird, Henry Kissinger, David Rockefeller, the Rothschilds. | ||
| No Soros. | ||
| Bingo! | ||
| No Soros. | ||
| Sitting above the bird, Katie's going to do. | ||
| And it isn't pretty, so let's look at what's in this bird's belly. | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| Right now, ladies and gentlemen, let's look at the innards. | ||
| Let's look at the guts of this situation right now from a Barack Obama. | ||
| And I will be playing this and stopping it throughout for the rest of the hour and commenting. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| My fellow citizens, I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful, For the trust you've bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices born by our ancestors. | ||
| All right, stop there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Mindful of your sacrifices. | ||
| We're sacrificing. | ||
| We're together. | ||
| We're one group. | ||
| I care about you. | ||
| And it's a double meaning. | ||
| Specifically to black folks, the suffering of our ancestors. | ||
| But to the general public, it looks like it's an inclusive comment. | ||
| So he's dividing and saying this is a black thing. | ||
| Meanwhile, he increases the abortions for black babies. | ||
| Sure, he did that on his first day. | ||
| While giving a public announcement that he is bringing unification. | ||
| Just everything is deception. | ||
| Yikes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, why can't it be both? | |
| Why can't it be a tip of the hat to black people's past in this country and also be a message of unification? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why can't it be? | |
| I'm pretty sure... | ||
| Because it can be. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I mean, even if it was purely a tip of the cap to, which is definitely not the connotation colloquialism that I would appreciate, but if it is just that... | ||
| That should be a unifying concept. | ||
| If we are all capable of recognizing that sacrifice, I'll be goddamned if we aren't way more unified as a country. | ||
| Perhaps the thing that is most divisive is the fact that so many white people don't understand that this country was built on the backs of black people's sacrifices. | ||
| I agree with that, but the sacrifice I don't even think was in the phrase... | ||
| Where Alex thinks he's hearkening back to... | ||
| No, I'm just purely engaging with how stupid Alex is on this front. | ||
| Remember all the times we've seen him pick apart CNN clips and shit like that? | ||
| Good news. | ||
| He was the same guy in 2009. | ||
| He still had that inability to deal with more than like... | ||
| Two seconds at a time. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So you're going to... | ||
| Now hold on, I'm going to stop. | ||
| We're going to have to start this over. | ||
| He does that a bunch. | ||
| Of course, of course he does. | ||
| Yeah, so here's the next clip. | ||
| Of the sacrifices born by our ancestors. | ||
| I thank President Bush for his service to our nation. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I'd like to apologize. | ||
| I think I guess you are right. | ||
| It was the sacrifice of our ancestors. | ||
| I had the order of terms wrong. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| I thank President Bush for his service. | ||
| So after saying how horrible Bush is, how criminal, how bad. | ||
| Suddenly, oh, he's so great. | ||
| He's given us a great transition. | ||
| He's worked so hard. | ||
| And you've got all these Republican leaders. | ||
| And Pat Robertson loving him and saying, I'm surprised. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| He's going to attack all these countries. | ||
| You've got to get behind him. | ||
| Socialism will save America. | ||
| It's inevitable. | ||
| So, again, unifying everybody. | ||
| They're kind of going past the left-right paradigm right now into just, we're going into a depression, which his boss has engineered, but they're not saying that. | ||
| I will save you if you just do what I say. | ||
| The craziest thing he said there is that Pat Robertson is being like, socialism, bring it on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Let's do this. | ||
| Notorious Christian right fascist racist Pat Robertson is like, well, now that it's in the form of this guy, clearly socialism is the best way to go. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I remember Pat Robertson being very supportive of Obama. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Also... | |
| Don't remember that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's really great how Alex respects the peaceful transition of power. | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| But I think Pat Robertson might have given him a day. | ||
| That might be what Alex is responding to that Pat Robertson just didn't say bad shit about him. | ||
| He gave it a day. | ||
| Yeah, as like a decorum. | ||
| A courtesy. | ||
| But I mean, Alex still isn't saying like... | ||
| Let's get him. | ||
| Or anything like that. | ||
| At least he's not saying that. | ||
| At least he's made peace with the fact that he's president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There is something to be said for that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's a low bar. | ||
| But Alex has cleared it. | ||
| He's at least not saying he cheated or anything like that. | ||
| He does introduce a narrative where Obama said... | ||
| Well, he didn't even know that three million illegal immigrants voted in that election. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That didn't come out until Trump. | ||
| And that one guy tweeted. | ||
| Good source. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he does try and spin a narrative about Barack Obama said the wrong words during the pledge. | ||
| Of allegiance? | ||
| No, with the oath of office. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, then that means he's not president, Dan. | ||
| That means he's not president. | ||
| That's one of his callers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Loophole! | |
| That's one of his callers tried to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love the idea that there's like a fairytale loophole. | |
| If you listen to it... | ||
| What he's supposed to do is repeat after John Roberts, the Chief Justice, and John Roberts flubs it. | ||
| And so he's just repeating what John Roberts says. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then they re-administered the oath afterwards. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Because it's this dumb formality thing. | ||
| I just love the idea that you can, like, it's just like a fairy tale where it's like, oh, you didn't get it in by midnight, so you're not president. | ||
| We gotta redo it. | ||
| The whole thing over, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just like there's these tiny little loopholes that are, oh, my name's in capital letters, doesn't count. | ||
| Like, sure. | ||
| Maritime law. | ||
| Sure, whatever. | ||
| You fucking idiot. | ||
| Yeah, but at least... | ||
| I don't know if he'll bring that narrative back up in days to come, but at least at this point, at this time, he doesn't seem like he's too into pushing that narrative. | ||
| So at least he's like, this seems thin. | ||
| I'm not going to dive in on this. | ||
| Compared to the other stuff he dives into, I'm shocked that he doesn't do that. | ||
| Another thing that's really fun is that Alex can't fucking time his show in 2009. | ||
| So he's trying to do this big breakdown of Obama, and he just keeps getting caught by breaks. | ||
| He's trying to jump in, and he has to go to break. | ||
| As well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
44 Americans. | |
| I have now taken the presidential oath. | ||
| The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. | ||
| All right, now he's calling upon history, ancestry, American tradition, when in reality he's going to destroy fully what's left of the American tradition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| So that's pretty strong. | ||
| Yep, jumped right into it. | ||
| Going out to break. | ||
| He's now hearkening back to history, and he's going to destroy it all. | ||
| 44 men have now taken this oath of office. | ||
| 37 of which were giant piles of shit. | ||
| At least. | ||
| Three others were miserable piles of shit. | ||
| And then Jimmy Carter wasn't a good president, but he's the best man. | ||
| I'm actually kind of glad Marty was here for the discussion. | ||
| It wasn't even really a discussion, but it fucking would have been if you were here about how Andrew Jackson was on Confederate money. | ||
| But it turned into a 15-minute... | ||
| Of course he was! | ||
| Well, he's part of the fucking reason that the... | ||
| Okay, never mind. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| He saw the fucking Civil War coming, Dan, and he... | ||
| He did everything he could to stop it. | ||
| He did everything to make it happen. | ||
| Not according to lore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He tried to get it to happen. | |
| Not according to lore. | ||
| All right, all right. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| So he goes to break. | ||
| Fine, that fucking... | ||
| Alex goes to break, and he comes back, and we get back into this analysis, and boy, this is good analysis. | ||
| Let's go ahead and go back to Barack Obama as I analyze his speech. | ||
| Generous. | ||
| Generous. | ||
| Every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. | ||
| At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we, the people. | ||
| Have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears. | ||
| All right, let's stop right there. | ||
| This is classic. | ||
| And true to our forebears. | ||
| This is classic. | ||
| He's saying, 44 presidents, the honor, the history, everything we've been through, the good times, the bad. | ||
| But we have gathering clouds. | ||
| I need you to help me. | ||
| Again, that classic call to the people. | ||
| This is a wholesome good thing if you didn't know the evil agenda and the incredible betrayal. | ||
| I need your help. | ||
| I need you to join my corps, separate from government, with USAservice.org, private, under their control, with governmental packaging, with a separate governmental army under government control, a one million man force they're building. | ||
| So Obama's building multiple armies. | ||
| One million man force. | ||
| Outside of government. | ||
| On his spare time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's outside of government. | ||
| That's off the clock, one million men. | ||
| And then with the service.org or whatever, where people just log community service hours they did in order to make everyone feel good. | ||
| That's another army he's building. | ||
| He's building all these armies. | ||
| It's gamifying being a good person. | ||
| That's what the service.org was. | ||
| Also, I need to be very clear about this, because I think that you agreed with what Alex was saying in a bad way. | ||
| Alex is inverting it. | ||
| He's not saying, I need your help. | ||
| He's saying only all of us can do this. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| No, no, I know. | ||
| The reason that I laughed at that immediately is because I was waiting for him to then be like, we also need you to fund your operation. | ||
| We need your money. | ||
| If it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't be able to do this. | ||
| I represent you. | ||
| Your brain is displaced in time. | ||
| That's present day, Alex. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| Alex in 2009 hasn't figured that game out. | ||
| But trust me, we will get into sponsors in a little bit. | ||
| And that's very weird. | ||
| But, so Obama is going to destroy America. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He's trying to build a million-man army. | ||
| Clouds gathering. | ||
| Volunteerism is evil. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can't trust people who volunteer. | ||
| No. | ||
| And it gets worse. | ||
| So, see, that's a deception. | ||
| And then he comes in with a big one. | ||
| He says, our Bill of Rights, our Constitution, our form of government, our... | ||
| Our liberty. | ||
| So that's what America is. | ||
| People are like, yes, yes, yes. | ||
| But he's coming to destroy all those forms. | ||
| His agenda is to remove those centralized power and expand the federal government. | ||
| It's all a trap in some ways. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I don't even want to play the rest of it. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| Now, see, when he said that it's a good idea to be nice to people, what he meant was it's a bad idea to be nice to people. | ||
| And if he said it was a bad idea to be nice to people, well, it was a bad idea to be nice to people. | ||
| And if he didn't say anything about it, I'd be like, well, why didn't you say anything about how it is to be nice to people? | ||
| What a fucking asshole. | ||
| Obama gives a good speech about how we've got to work together. | ||
| And, you know, the reason this country is so great is because we've stuck to our traditions and we've stuck to our respective law and each other, even through hard times. | ||
| Even through somebody that you absolutely disagree with who is a war criminal that should be punished commensurately. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even then, America is still like, well, we're gonna fucking move along. | ||
| We got another president. | ||
| This war criminal, fine. | ||
| Fucking, at least he's gone now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And now we've got another workaround. | ||
| And he wasn't even a dick! | ||
| George W. was also... | ||
| I think W. at that point was like... | ||
| Oh, thank God I don't have to do this shit anymore. | ||
| And I don't remember Obama being like, fuck George W. Bush. | ||
| No, he wasn't. | ||
| He was always ridiculously respectful, which is, again, one of the reasons that we are where we are right now. | ||
| I mean, there was like a smattering of boos at the inauguration, but that wasn't Obama doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That was people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have the right to free speech. | ||
| Also, God, do you remember when the president could use a metaphor? | ||
| Do you remember those days? | ||
| Oh, so evocative. | ||
| The president used to be able to speak in such a way that you would feel and you would respond to an image that appeared in your brain. | ||
| That's called writing well. | ||
| Yeah, but said president made a big old mistake. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| Because he wore a tan suit one time. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| Presidency was diminished. | ||
| It's all it took. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all it took. | ||
| Like I said, I don't want to play the rest of this, or at least a lot of it, because it's just going to be redundant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the same shit, yeah. | |
| So I'm going to just play the stuff that I think is worthwhile. | ||
| Here he gets caught by another break. | ||
| So it has been. | ||
| So it must be with this generation of Americans. | ||
| That we are in the midst of crisis. | ||
| Again, he's saying we're going to always be like we were before, the freedom. | ||
| So it was, so it must be. | ||
| How did you get that? | ||
| See, it was all about change. | ||
| Now he's saying America, dedication, honor, our history, our sacred conventions and canons. | ||
| Canons? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We had great canons. | |
| Let me just wait. | ||
| It just gets more and more incredible. | ||
| But again, one of the best written speeches ever. | ||
| He didn't write it. | ||
| He's there reading off a teleprompter but delivering it with great aplomb. | ||
| Very well done. | ||
| We're going to come back in a long segment and get to most of this. | ||
| Just devastating to freedom. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| How good was Obama as a speaker? | ||
| Even Alex, after claiming that everything he said was a lie that means the opposite of it, it's still like, he gave a pretty good speech. | ||
| Yeah, he's not going to lie. | ||
| He's pretty good. | ||
| You were talking over it. | ||
| He said, it's a great speech. | ||
| He didn't write it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Like a dick. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a dick. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And actually, you can talk to his speechwriter, and every time his speechwriter gave Obama a speech, it would come back with red fucking ink all over it, because Obama was a good writer! | ||
| Now, the same is true with Trump, but that's just because he keeps spilling his red ink bottle. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Everybody's... | ||
| Well, actually, it's mostly tomato juice. | ||
| Yeah, it's ketchup. | ||
| That's terrorism. | ||
| He is a terrorist. | ||
| So, I mean, here's something. | ||
| This is dumb. | ||
| Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. | ||
| Our economy is badly weakened. | ||
| Okay, so he ties the economy being trouble to being at war with this far-reaching enemy. | ||
| And later he goes in and they're going to smoke him out of their holes. | ||
| So, right back to the Cold War, right back to the anti-terror, we're fighting the secret brotherhood of Emanuel Goldstein, 1984, the guy with the turban and the big beard. | ||
| And he ties that all in then next to the economy. | ||
| Like, we're fighting terrorists and we've got to fix our economy. | ||
| See, that's psychology. | ||
| They're nexusing the two together. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| It could be that they are interconnected. | ||
| And they are negative things that our country is wrestling with right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be when he used the metaphor of gathering storms. | ||
| Perhaps he then literalizes it later on in the speech. | ||
| I would hate for Alex to have me go through a bunch of things and see what things he mentions back to back. | ||
| I would hate to have to find out what he tries to nexus in his audience's brain. | ||
| Wouldn't be hard. | ||
| I imagine a lot of it is pretty dark stuff. | ||
| I imagine a lot of it drifts. | ||
| Heavily white nationalist in nature. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Especially as we get closer and closer to the present. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| So in this next clip, you know, we got soy boys running around now. | ||
| Oh, those soy boys. | ||
| We got a lot of pussy liberals who are getting triggered by everything. | ||
| Oh, a bunch of snowflakes. | ||
| In this next clip, Alex gets triggered by Obama. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And prepare the nation for a new age. | ||
| Oh, you want some New World Order talk? | ||
| Can't even fucking say a new age. | ||
| Yeah, what are you talking about? | ||
| Language policing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Ugh. | ||
| Obviously. | ||
| New age. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| It's the New World Order. | ||
| You're rebranding. | ||
| I know what you mean. | ||
| I fooled you. | ||
| So... | ||
| He accuses Obama talking about the environment for being about carbon taxes. | ||
| We don't really need to listen to that. | ||
| That's just sort of like, blah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| But this clip is dumb, but it's actually kind of funny because you see in real time Alex needing two takes to get his rant down. | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| This is a mic down one. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| This is really fascinating. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| These are the indicators of crisis. | ||
| Subject to data and statistics. | ||
| Less measurable. | ||
| But no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They told us the economy was great for decades as they shifted us from a manufacturing to a debtor-based service economy so we would be totally under their control and not be independent. | ||
| And the government documents state they want that, destroy the family, break down communities, bankrupt the state's land-funded mandates. | ||
| And then he comes in and... | ||
| It talks about how we're losing our houses and losing our jobs, all done by design. | ||
| Let's back that up again, because I want to comment on it. | ||
| A planet. | ||
| These are the indicators of crisis. | ||
| Same fucking clip. | ||
| Subject to data and statistics. | ||
| Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land. | ||
| Okay, now what happened? | ||
| The bankers told us everything was great while they were setting this up. | ||
| While we were all going into debt, while the society was falling apart. | ||
| He's just like, I forgot my bit. | ||
| All right, all right, okay, hold on, hold on. | ||
| Let me take that one more time. | ||
| Okay, guys, I messed up the punchline. | ||
| I'm going to, no, I ended with the part that I should have started with. | ||
| It kind of ruined everything. | ||
| Let me take that one more time. | ||
| He's treating his damn show like an open mic. | ||
| I swear, it's actually a funny bit, if you give it a chance. | ||
| There's good A to B construction here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Yeah, and it's like, at this point, I don't think he thinks that many people are listening, and so it's fine to do that. | ||
| Right! | ||
| Because otherwise, if you're listening, it's like, why did he do that again? | ||
| The next time, he just says basically the same thing. | ||
| But he rearranged it. | ||
| He made it more accusatory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's all. | ||
| That's all he did, is he changed his language to be like, they did this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| As opposed to, this happened and it was them. | ||
| Which is... | ||
| I mean, semantically it will make a difference how people hear it, but... | ||
| It never fails to kind of surprise me how stupid these people are when they boil down a massive, complicated, interconnected system that has changed more rapidly than it ever has in the history of the human race and calling it just a... | ||
| You know, they planned it. | ||
| Who's them? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, that's what their plan was. | ||
| They want to make us... | ||
| We switched from a manufacturing to a service economy as though that was a thing. | ||
| Because they want to destroy families. | ||
| It definitely had nothing to do with fucking automating... | ||
| It turns out we can get rid of people and all the stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, whatever sort of trends that Alex wants to blame on subsidies overseas and stuff like that, anything that he wants to talk about, like, given a little bit more time, even if we didn't do that stuff, it would be robots. | ||
| You know, like, all of those manufacturing jobs, all of the coal jobs that Trump pretends are coming back, all of that stuff is just going to end up inevitably not even being done by cheap labor, being done by automation. | ||
| I think his point is ultimately stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's what I was getting to. | ||
| I love how essentially we always wind up breaking down perfectly what's going on and then we just get to the same conclusion. | ||
| So basically what he said was dumb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Basically, he's wasting time and so are we. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, at the end of the day, here's why it's wrong. | ||
| Take this information, use it later on in your life, but in the context of our show, we nailed it. | ||
| This guy's dumb! | ||
| And we're just doing this to get to something that happens a little bit later that's hilarious. | ||
| I promise you that. | ||
| But this next clip is pretty funny because Alex is mad about Obama being wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You? | |
| No, he's mad about Obama being wrong about something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's Paul Reiser? | |
| He's mad at Paul Reiser? | ||
| No, and he's not mad at me because I was still in Missouri at this point. | ||
| I had no idea who I was. | ||
| But he's mad at something that Obama says because it's totally wrong. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| I got bad news. | ||
| Alex is totally wrong. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, The time has come to set aside childish things. | ||
| Okay, everything there he just said is a lie. | ||
| The United States is now older than the Roman Republic when it can fell. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| The United States is the oldest continuing government system in the world. | ||
| No. 235 years old. | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| It's the oldest, 1776. | ||
| Hey, sure. | ||
| 230 plus years old. | ||
| 2.0. | ||
| It is the oldest government, continually operating government in history. | ||
| Just because you say it doesn't mean it's true. | ||
| Another lie. | ||
| Then he quotes scripture to manipulate people religiously. | ||
| Oh, does he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That was another point I wanted to make. | ||
| I can't imagine anybody doing that. | ||
| No, I can't imagine you doing that. | ||
| That'd be crazy. | ||
| That's, frankly... | ||
| Quoting scripture to manipulate people? | ||
| That's disrespectful. | ||
| That reminds me of a quote from the scripture where it says, even the devil can use scripture for his own purposes, Dan. | ||
| Oh, that is from scripture. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Tell me I don't know my scripture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| I'm manipulating the fuck out of you, Dan. | ||
| I'm very confused. | ||
| You don't got nothing. | ||
| So... | ||
| Alex says the United States is older than the Roman Republic, and the Republic period started about 509 B.C. It ended in 27 B.C. with the establishment of the Empire. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's longer than the United States. | ||
| So that's one piece. | ||
| And then if you go even further than that, let's talk about America really being a republic. | ||
| When did women get the right to vote? | ||
| 1910s? | ||
| Yeah, somewhere in there. | ||
| When did black people get the right to vote? | ||
| Ooh, do they? | ||
| Yeah, well, fair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fair. | |
| A lot. | ||
| There's trouble. | ||
| But on paper, we've really only been... | ||
| Theoretically speaking, black people do have the right to vote, yes. | ||
| We've been like a functioning democracy republic for like 50 years or something like that compared to whatever. | ||
| And even then. | ||
| Spotty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Not contiguous. | ||
| Like Grover Cleveland, there have been very many non-consecutive sections of functioning republic. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So also, San Marino, according to legend. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Lore. | ||
| Lore. | ||
| They established themselves as a republic in the year 301 AD and have been a consistent government since. | ||
| For 1716 years, they have existed as a self-governing republic. | ||
| Now, granted, a lot of people would say that you're a part of Italy. | ||
| But I say, no, sir. | ||
| San Marino! | ||
| Yeah, but that's Bush League. | ||
| It's like, I don't count Babe Ruth's home runs as much because he didn't play against black players. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| San Marino was a republic before it was cool, Dan. | ||
| That doesn't count. | ||
| They didn't even have any competition in the Republic game at the time. | ||
| It doesn't count. | ||
| It doesn't count. | ||
| It's too easy. | ||
| There's also a couple of governments in Europe, like England and the Netherlands, that have much longer-standing republics, but they're not. | ||
| Again, non-contiguous. | ||
| They got interrupted. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But they got back to it, which is good. | ||
| I don't know, I suppose. | ||
| Anyway, we could just use the Rome example, or the Roman Republic, and just be like, you're dumb. | ||
| We could use so much. | ||
| Why would you even begin to say that? | ||
| That is such a stupid thing to say that even if you were stupid, seems stupid, right? | ||
| I mean, I guess if you really wanted to get into it, you could try and make the argument that there's different periods within the Roman Republic era, but... | ||
| Alex couldn't do that. | ||
| I don't find that to be charming. | ||
| But even then, on just a more intuitive level... | ||
| I think he might have been thinking about Greece, because the Grecian Republics were much shorter-lived. | ||
| There were multiple of them throughout history. | ||
| That was a city-state period of time, too, so it wasn't like a nationalized republic of any sort. | ||
| Anyway, all is to say that Alex is... | ||
| In his next clip, he gets a little bit defensive about that biblical scripture again. | ||
| God, every time, I feel like we need to have Alex for charity. | ||
| Alex, I challenge you to sit in a dunk tank, and every time we dunk on you, you get dunked. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| That would be fun. | ||
| We'll be in Austin on June 15th. | ||
| It's going to be hot out. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Going to want to wear light clothes. | ||
| Light clothes. | ||
| But in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. | ||
| See, oh, I'm for the old, but we can't have gridlock anymore, separation of powers, and it's time to stop being children. | ||
| America, that was old stuff. | ||
| That was childlike. | ||
| Now we're going forward with the new thing. | ||
| We're adults now. | ||
| I'm your daddy. | ||
| I'm government 2.0. | ||
| I'm president of the world. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No! | ||
| Literally every part of this speech is about how he's not president of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every part of this speech is like, hey, guess what, America? | ||
| You've been acting like fucking children this whole goddamn time. | ||
| Sack up and let's work together to do this. | ||
| See, I don't get why you don't see that that means that he's actually saying that he is the president of the world. | ||
| I don't get why that means. | ||
| What do you think it means? | ||
| Job, I'll speak. | ||
| I mean, but even doublespeak isn't that doublespeak. | ||
| So suffice it to say that he does an hour plus of this. | ||
| It can't be. | ||
| It can't be. | ||
| If I took all the clips, it would be as confusing because he's just saying that he's digging too deep into these clips and using exegesis to bring out themes that aren't there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course, of course. | |
| Like a first year creative writing student in a workshop. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And it would just... | ||
| Like, we're already at a point where we've both been up too long today or we're tired and we would get so bored and so furious. | ||
| So I'm going to skip the rest of it now. | ||
| Okay, thank you. | ||
| And now we get to something really weird. | ||
| So he does an hour and a half of this. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Speaking of sponsors, we have him on every month or so, and it's been about two months since we've had him on. | ||
| And the reason I like this sponsor, and by my sponsors, people you hear me endorse, that's my sponsors, separate from the network sponsors. | ||
| Who do you think we got a visit from? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| It's one of his sponsors. | ||
| It's one of his sponsors. | ||
| Is it, ooh, is it Postcard Lady? | ||
| Who's postcard lady? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The one who sells you the one sentence that'll get you out of any... | |
| Oh, Stubblebine's wife? | ||
| Yes, Stubblebine! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Not the Stubblebine controversy? | ||
| Dr. Reema Labo is not in play in 2009, as far as I can tell. | ||
| Also, General Stubblebine is nowhere to be found, unfortunately. | ||
| Well, he was actually grown in a lab. | ||
| It didn't pop out until 2014 or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, not until 2012. | ||
| It's someone we have met. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I'm assuming that it's not our boy gold guy. | ||
| Ted Anderson? | ||
| No, not Ted Anderson. | ||
| Not Diamond Gusset. | ||
| Not Random Jeans. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Which, way better name than Diamond Gusset. | ||
| It's Marty Schachter of the Soap Company. | ||
| Well, let me be honest. | ||
| I also endorse that product. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Soap! | |
| It gets you so clean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So clean! | |
| So clean! | ||
| Alex. | ||
| Moisturizes better than Irish Spring. | ||
| Let me tell you something about this soap, Dan. | ||
| Alex has spent an hour and a half of his show talking about how Obama is just lying through his teeth. | ||
| It's all double speak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And then now, let's bring in my soap salesman. | ||
| Sponsor. | ||
| So they talk about how soap isn't soap and his soap is real soap. | ||
| Sure, sure, why not? | ||
| Why not make the Obama's speech analysis also about soap? | ||
| So then we get into this. | ||
| This is a really troubling clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're an American company making American products with all our people, all Americans, and we're very, very happy about that. | |
| And when we got the biggest sign in our warehouse here, Alex Jones. | ||
| That's our God over here. | ||
| Ooh! | ||
| Hostile work environment! | ||
| Hostile work environment! | ||
| I would say I'm... | ||
| As troubled by the Alex Jones is God sign and the we're all Americans here. | ||
| To be fair, I want to be clear, because where I cut the clip, Alex does say after that, don't say that about me, I'm not Obama, trying to deflect a little bit, but he seems like he's kind of thrilled. | ||
| Minus one points to Alex. | ||
| I didn't know he was getting scored. | ||
| He is now. | ||
| Should be way lower than negative one. | ||
| Well, the bar is lower for him. | ||
| Marty Schachter. | ||
| We grade on a curve here. | ||
| Marty Schachter, the soap reactor. | ||
| Negative one for me? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Again, low bar for you. | ||
| He's coming in. | ||
| Soap. | ||
| American soap. | ||
| American people making American soap. | ||
| White soap. | ||
| White factory. | ||
| All Alex Jones. | ||
| White God. | ||
| We love it. | ||
| It's so American and white that Irish Spring is offensive to them. | ||
| Fuck is this green shit? | ||
| So speaking of Irish Spring, if you'll recall, the last time Marty Schachter was on, Alex... | ||
| I don't. | ||
| ...very embarrassingly had to ask him to do a limerick. | ||
| Oh, that's right! | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| He does limericks! | ||
| That's his fucking thing! | ||
| He's the guy who does limericks! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's the limerick soap guy! | |
| He is a guy who does fucking limericks as a thing, and he's... | ||
| Proud of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| He is not a guy who does limericks as a gimmick. | ||
| He does limericks as... | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're not gimmick limericks. | |
| Yeah, they're not gimmicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No. | ||
| This guy... | ||
| He does this like a violinist at a recital. | ||
| This guy has them in the chamber. | ||
| This guy clearly insists that Alex ask him to do a limerick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That's part of the sponsorship deal. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it's soon. | ||
| As he was like, I got Marty Schachter on, he's got some great soap. | ||
| I'm like, limerick, limerick, limerick, limerick, please, please, please. | ||
| I'm like, I cannot have to listen to this racist soap guy without a fucking limerick. | ||
| And lo and behold. | ||
| Does not disappoint. | ||
| At the end of their interview, here comes a limerick, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got stainless packages. | |
| Give us a limerick. | ||
| Marty, give me a limerick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm ready. | |
| He hated to sew. | ||
| So young Ned rang the bell of his neighbor instead. | ||
| But her husband said, Vi, when you stitched his torn fly, there was no need to bite off the thread. | ||
| Amazing, my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to get you back up next week. | |
| What an asshole. | ||
| Long pause. | ||
| That is a great beat. | ||
| Great beat. | ||
| Gotta give Alex for the perfect length of time to make that as disrespectful as possible. | ||
| One second longer and he's confused. | ||
| One second shorter is kind of disappointing. | ||
| It feels sincere. | ||
| That perfect beat is... | ||
| Just enough time to throw the correct amount of shade. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I think it's not that. | ||
| I think he's confused. | ||
| I think Alex is confused. | ||
| Because, like, every single time he asks him for a limbic, the last one was fucking sexy. | ||
| Or, sexy. | ||
| It was sexual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| This one is, again, about a blowjob. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, Marty Schachter's just coming. | ||
| Also. | ||
| He's an old man who wants to tell dirty limbs. | ||
| Also. | ||
| Also. | ||
| I don't think that counts as a limerick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Listening to that, no. | ||
| The meter is off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think he screwed it up in the middle, or, I would say, at the beginning. | ||
| Or, at the very moment he thought, I could be the limerick guy. | ||
| This is such a delightful piece of reality that in 2009, again, it bears repeating, this is what Alex was forced to do. | ||
| In order to get this guy to sponsor his show, he has to have him come on. | ||
| And you can just hear it in his voice. | ||
| All right, Marty. | ||
| Can I get a limerick? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Long pause. | ||
| Awesome, my friend. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| Great. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Where can you get your soap? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Oh, limerick soap. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Can't wait for his next appearance. | ||
| He's going to have more limericks. | ||
| I just want to try. | ||
| There's no way I'd be able to just time it out to find. | ||
| These are... | ||
| He didn't make these limericks up. | ||
| That's a classic limerick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a hack. | |
| He's a limerick hack. | ||
| Just hack on hack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep, yep. | |
| Oh, God, it's so great. | ||
| He's a hackeric. | ||
| This picture of his life back then is somewhat delightful to me on some levels because, you know, we talk about some time... | ||
| I don't know if we have in a really long time, but there was a thought of, like, how Alex Jones would make a really funny sitcom. | ||
| This bigot propagandist yelling in the booth and what have you. | ||
| Like a that's my bush kind of thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And I don't think he would in the present day, but like that beat, those kinds of moments would make for an amazing. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Maybe short film series or something. | ||
| Oh, I can see a Larry Sanders show. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| You could just hear after, awesome, my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Just Alex staring at the microphone like, what am I doing? | ||
| So good. | ||
| So Alex has one more guest on this show. | ||
| And he's going to bring out a giraffe, apparently. | ||
| We're doing late period Johnny Carson now. | ||
| You think that's what this guest is going to do? | ||
| No. | ||
| So this guest is a guy by the name of Barry Cooper. | ||
| Have you ever heard of Barry Cooper? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| He is a former cop. | ||
| Dave Barry Cooper? | ||
| No. | ||
| Does not make fart jokes for a living. | ||
| Nor has he hijacked a plane. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| D.B. Cooper. | ||
| I was mixing them both together. | ||
| It was pretty good. | ||
| So, Barry Cooper is a guy who started... | ||
| And I wanted to say really quick. | ||
| I'm not going to show you a picture of him, Jordan. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But everyone Google Barry Cooper. | ||
| You're going to have a treat. | ||
| He looks crazy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You could do that after the show. | ||
| Or right now, as I'm explaining it to you. | ||
| So, he, at the time, in 2009, was running a site called Never Get Busted. | ||
| He definitely shouldn't come anywhere near our show, Dan. | ||
| Do you know why? | ||
| You busted. | ||
| You busted. | ||
| So, I want to say a lot about him. | ||
| The first is, I think that probably he was doing some good in 2009. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because one of the things that his website is all about is teaching you how to pass drug tests. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| He's teaching you what you should take. | ||
| He's like, I have tested a lot of these over-the-counter things you can get at head shops. | ||
| I'm like, these are the ones that work. | ||
| These are the ones that'll help you. | ||
| If you want to pass a hair test, you've got to bleach your hair. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| That will trick the test. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| That sort of thing. | ||
| And he's like, hey, if you have to take it, if it's for weed, you should just use fake piss. | ||
| Because they're not going to do that much of a test if they're just looking for weed. | ||
| So he's got, he did probably help. | ||
| Turns out you have HPV, though. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| From the fake piss? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I got fake PV. | ||
| So, I don't know the rest of the trappings of what he was into. | ||
| But I do agree on some level that... | ||
| Drug tests are bullshit. | ||
| There's abusive practices that are being used. | ||
| People are getting jammed up and stuff. | ||
| And I don't think there's any reason if you're on probation you want to get high or something like that. | ||
| I don't feel like that should be like, you have to go to prison now. | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| That's fucking stupid. | ||
| And I don't know if he was giving good advice. | ||
| Let me be clear about that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| Theoretically, Hart might be in the right place. | ||
| On the assumption that the advice he was giving about drug tests was correct, I think he probably helped some people in good on him for that. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Now. | ||
| That said, there is some Dr. Oz going to happen, isn't there? | ||
| Since then. | ||
| If you Google him, you will find something called Trip to Wellness. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| He has started a business wherein... | ||
| I thought it was a cruise, but okay. | ||
| For $5,000, he will fly you to another country and give you Ibogaine. | ||
| That's a good business. | ||
| That's a good business. | ||
| No repeat customers, because he is not flying you back. | ||
| Ibogaine and ayahuasca are both... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the science... | |
| And great hallucinogenics. | ||
| The science on it is iffy, to say the least. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| But at the same time, the United States can't really do full-fledged studies on these things. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So the information that is available is pretty limited. | |
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But what you can find, if you really look into it, is everybody who sells these vacation packages with Ibogaine in it... | |
| We'll tell you you will be reset to before you were addicted to drugs and stuff like that. | ||
| But people who don't go into treatment after that have like an 80% relapse rate. | ||
| So are we once again talking about how there's a support structure that needs to be in place, not just a quick fix? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But at the same time, the studies and the information that is available show that it's markedly higher than just like detoxing. | |
| That's good. | ||
| I'm all for it. | ||
| The indications you can get are like something to the effect of like a 20 to 40, 20 to 50 percent success rate when people go into treatment in terms of like a support group or 12 step program. | ||
| Yeah, something like eight. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And you just go back to your normal patterns. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Your relapse rate is almost inevitable. | ||
| It's just like weight loss. | ||
| It's an ongoing process. | ||
| It is not a thing you do. | ||
| In the meantime, this guy makes five grand off you. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| When he flies you to this Porta Vallarta and gives you Ibogaine. | ||
| On the other hand... | ||
| You're still flown to Puerto Vallarta and you're doing Ibogaine. | ||
| Win or lose at the end of the day, you still did that. | ||
| That's not too bad. | ||
| You have a nice vacation and some fucked up dreams. | ||
| Yeah, that's not bad. | ||
| There are worse scams. | ||
| It occurs to me that there's low overhead on this operation. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because it says, our treatments vacations start at $4,950. | ||
| Start. | ||
| So it's probably options could be higher than that. | ||
| Now, that's a deal. | ||
| But to keep our prices lower than all treatment centers, we offer phone calls only to those who are ready to book their trip. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that means to me they don't have a staff. | ||
| No. | ||
| That means... | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Nobody's taking cold calls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Certainly not. | ||
| This isn't a timeshare sales group here where you got somebody hard-selling you the whole time. | ||
| If you got questions... | ||
| Send us an email. | ||
| Hey, you want to fly to Puerto Vallarta and do some drugs? | ||
| Yes? | ||
| Call us. | ||
| No? | ||
| Leave us the fuck alone. | ||
| If you have questions, don't. | ||
| And again, the biggest piece of it, and I think it bears repeating, is I think this guy's a con man. | ||
| Just based on the fact that he's... | ||
| I think a lot of these people who run businesses like this are not totally above board. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I think that there's a lot of... | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Connery involved. | ||
| But at the same time, I think probably there is good intentions behind it, because there are indications that this is a better way to treat addiction. | ||
| And like I said, scam-wise, way less damaging than a lot of other scams. | ||
| Well, I don't know, because I think that if you go in with the unrealistic expectation that I'm going to go trip on Abagaine... | ||
| I keep pronouncing it differently for some reason. | ||
| It just comes out of my mouth weird. | ||
| But I'm going to go trip on this stuff, and then I'm going to come back cured, and then you're not. | ||
| I think that could lead to a feeling of, I'm trapped in addiction for the rest of my life. | ||
| Even this extreme $5,000 vacation couldn't help me out. | ||
| I'm going to just be an addict for life. | ||
| Whereas, I don't know, I don't know what his whole process is. | ||
| I don't know if, like, it's... | ||
| When you get off the plane, he shoots a blow dart in your neck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you go from there. | ||
| Well, I mean, so the first three days, they give you drugs because they don't want you to have withdrawals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So they give you drugs and you... | ||
| Whatever your game is. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which is a very above-board business. | ||
| And then they, yeah, we'll supply you with eight. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| So then the rest of the time, you just do whatever for the first three days. | ||
| On the fourth day, you get the ibogaine. | ||
| You get a tester dose, and if you're not allergic to it, you get the full dose, and then you trip your balls off for 12 to 18 hours. | ||
| You freak out, and then you go to bed. | ||
| Then on day five, here's what it says on the itinerary. | ||
| This is why I think that maybe there isn't indications from them that when you get home, you need to enter NA or whatever. | ||
| Day five, all of your systems will be reset to pre-addictive state and you will have no cravings or withdrawals. | ||
| Alex will check on you throughout the day. | ||
| Not Alex Jones. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because you naturally want to rest in bed. | ||
| Day six, same as day five. | ||
| Day seven, you will revisit the holistic spa to receive chelation treatment. | ||
| Day eight, you are free to vacation and enjoy your new life. | ||
| Day nine, you are free to vacation and enjoy your new life. | ||
| This is not a great itinerary. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I like bullet points. | ||
| If you've ever been to a business conference, man, you gotta have bullet points. | ||
| So then on day 11 through 15... | ||
| I want one PowerPoint presentation at least in this whole thing. | ||
| So on day 11 through 15, you get personalized life coaching with this Barry. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| And, you know, I don't know. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| You know those drugs? | ||
| Bad. | ||
| Stop them! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get out of here! | ||
| All right, you're a good kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Again, a lot of this would probably be funnier if you knew what he looked like. | ||
| Because he looks crazy. | ||
| But also, like, I don't know. | ||
| I'm so torn. | ||
| I'm really, really, really torn. | ||
| Like Natalie Imbruglia? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you are, in theory, putting someone up for 15 days. | ||
| But I do think that it mentions here that you have to pay for your own food during that time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Meals are $5 to $7 each. | ||
| That's, look. | ||
| It does not include flight, hotel, or food. | ||
| All right, so there we go. | ||
| Flights. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Oh, that's a problem. | ||
| That's where it gets crazy. | ||
| And it doesn't include taxis. | ||
| Definitely starting at $49.50 for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think if it included airfare, good on you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it doesn't. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's a lot of clearing of money here. | ||
| At the end of the day. | ||
| You're an addict. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you're addicted to trying to find solutions to your addiction. | ||
| And you are spending probably $12,000 to $14,000 by the time you're out of here. | ||
| Out of there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they didn't even have a functioning Airbnb back then. | ||
| I think they rely on the idea that addicts make bad decisions. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| But addicts with $14,000 definitely make bad decisions. | ||
| But I don't want to beat this up too much, because on some levels, if you look at the relapse rate of people who are treated in conventional ways, and you look at the difference between 8% and, let's say, 20%, 25% is big. | ||
| And people are dying. | ||
| Ibogaine has been shown to be pretty effective and helpful with opiates in particular, and that's what's killing the most people. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So I'm open-minded about these ideas of alternative treatments, and I hope more studying is done about it, but I don't know if this is helping. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And he's on Alex Jones' show, so that means to me, I'm inclined to believe he's a con man. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't think that you run into his orbit unless you're a con man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also, I don't like this perspective on drugs. | ||
| So when they get up on the news and say we're trying to help the children, we're trying to fight drugs, they consciously know it's just a big business and they're just mercenary pirates? | ||
| He's talking about cops. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| It depends on what level they're at. | ||
| The guys in top government know that. | ||
| The lower guys in the task force, like I was, somehow I really believed I was saving a kid from getting this marijuana on a playground somewhere. | ||
| Because I had been told that. | ||
| But through several years of investigation, I'm like, you know, I've never caught one person on a playground trying to sell our kids drugs. | ||
| And to come to think about it, I don't know of any kids that have died of an overdose in my community. | ||
| I think you're just a bad cop. | ||
| If he's only talking about weed, fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And yet, I don't think a lot of neighborhoods do have someone selling drugs at a park. | ||
| A lot of them fucking do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're just not there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're in a different community. | ||
| But at the same time, the way he ends that, he's like, I don't know. | ||
| I haven't seen any people overdosing in my community. | ||
| As if to suggest people aren't. | ||
| And that is really, really fucked up. | ||
| Because people are. | ||
| People are overdosing. | ||
| You can look at the stats. | ||
| They're very clearly available. | ||
| There's thousands of people every year. | ||
| Various substances, cocaine, benzos, opiates. | ||
| People are dying every day because of misdosing drugs. | ||
| I had a friend in high school who OD'd on heroin. | ||
| I know people, kids, who died of overdoses. | ||
| It's not something that's made up to demonize and let cops get away with being bad guys. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| It's really bad. | ||
| Which makes me think even more that this new thing is escape. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Because if that's his perspective on it, then I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This guy threw me for a big loop. | ||
| Yeah, you're clearly out of sorts here. | ||
| I much prefer talking about the soap guy. | ||
| You wish there was more digging into this that you could do. | ||
| This is so nebulous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| I wish that he didn't seem like... | ||
| New policy want goal. | ||
| If we get 14 grand, we will go do this program. | ||
| I would go in a fucking heartbeat. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| But don't give us that money. | ||
| Don't give us that money. | ||
| Get three days of free heroin? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| No, because you can only get the drugs that you already do. | ||
| I'd have to get a... | ||
| Well, we'd start doing heroin a couple of days beforehand. | ||
| Get myself a nice heroin habit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is not in the cards. | ||
| So the other problem is that, like, in the middle of their interview, that's when Alex talks about... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And this guy's like, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| As if to indicate that he doesn't know that that's ridiculous. | ||
| Then Alex talks about his assaults when he was a kid, the assaults that he committed. | ||
| And he talks about them very differently. | ||
| But it's just not fun. | ||
| It's not as hyper-masculine back then. | ||
| What these guys are doing is the same thing that local news did with like a... | ||
| Are your kids playing the blowjob game where they wear different levels of makeup? | ||
| You guys are making this bullshit up because you don't understand and you're just making up fears. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| Alright, here's the deal. | ||
| I know what happens in this last clip and that's kind of shading a lot of my... | ||
| My feelings about this guy. | ||
| And the reason that I'm so conflicted is that, like I said, I'm into this. | ||
| And I think people need help. | ||
| And if that's an option to give them help, great. | ||
| But I don't like con business. | ||
| Anyway, this next clip is so crazy. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| I don't know how to set this up. | ||
| This is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard a guest say on Alex's show. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They're talking about the idea of, like, chastity and abstinence education. | ||
| That makes sense for them to have jumped onto that topic. | ||
| But get this. | ||
| It's so fucking weird. | ||
| This is another Mike Down clip. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| And while my parents worked like slaves to pay taxes, they weren't good parents. | ||
| And most of the people I've met had dysfunctional homes. | ||
| And we keep talking about bringing the family back, bringing the family back. | ||
| Well, we're in error and we're off track when we concentrate on teaching our kids laws and legalisms. | ||
| Don't drink, don't cuss, don't smoke, don't have sex, don't have drugs. | ||
| None of that stuff is working. | ||
| That celibacy class, Alex, that you were talking about getting the ring, had they spent six weeks... | ||
| Teaching what jealousy looks like. | ||
| Okay, you girls over here, you're acting jealous when you do this because jealousy is crueler than the grave. | ||
| And man, it is rampant in our nation. | ||
| I run into that everywhere. | ||
| That's why you don't put the children in the public schools if you can't because it's so mean. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So we could teach our kids have a class on jealousy and teach them, look, if you have a mate or somebody you're attracted to and they're showing this red flag of jealousy. | ||
| And they won't quit. | ||
| That's a red flag. | ||
| Don't be involved with that partner. | ||
| Because I was married to a lady that was very jealous for 10 years, but nobody had taught me the... | ||
| Oh no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no! | |
| This is about your ex-wife! | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Barry! | ||
| I just want to drive around this town. | ||
| I love it when it turns into like... | ||
| Now, what we should be doing is teaching kids how not to behave like my fucking bitch ex-wife. | ||
| I hated that lady. | ||
| And I'll tell you, I know why she was the wrong person. | ||
| I know what she was doing wrong. | ||
| Definitely don't need to take any responsibility on my end. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's all these girls are jealous. | ||
| Dare? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dare to not be jealous, Dan. | ||
| That clip gives you whiplash. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because you're starting down a road where you're like, yeah, this chastity in don't smoke, don't drink, education isn't effective. | |
| It's not working. | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What we need to do is teach girls not to be jealous. | |
| Specifically, specifically, for six weeks. | ||
| Did you know that it takes exactly six weeks to get girls not to be jealous, Dan? | ||
| That's just been scientifically proven. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Also, guys can be jealous. | |
| That's a huge problem. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Men can't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We specifically teach these girls to be jealous. | |
| Teach the girls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which is confusing. | |
| And you're sitting there, you're like, huh, that's a weird idea. | ||
| And then he, of his own accord, brings up his ex-wife, who is too jealous, and you're like, ah. | ||
| Ah, there it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| He's not the kind of guy I want administering ayahuasca for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll tell you that right now. | |
| I don't want this guy to life coach me for three days. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| I'm just sitting there listening to this shit, and I'm like, how do you not know what you're saying? | ||
| Look, just because I cheated on my wife a few times. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What it really was is she was too jealous. | ||
| I made amends. | ||
| What, you're going to be jealous about everything now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll give you six weeks of training in this fist right here. | |
| You think for somebody who, like... | ||
| His whole thing, even at this point in 2009, because he's running that Don't Get Busted stuff, his idea for that was based on doing hallucinogens, because he was like a cop. | ||
| He even says on Alex's show, and I didn't play this part because I don't really necessarily believe it, but he's talking about how he would plant evidence on people and set them up, and it sounds like it's from a movie. | ||
| Yeah, but I would also argue that he probably didn't, but I'm sure he saw it. | ||
| Yeah, it's possible. | ||
| But I don't care to parse that, or whatever. | ||
| But his story is that he did hallucinogens and started smoking weed and realized a better way. | ||
| And for that kind of a person to come out of that transformation... | ||
| And still be like, girls need to be less jealous, and my ex-wife is a bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Nailed it. | ||
| That means it didn't take. | ||
| Hallucinogens. | ||
| That means to me, your hippy-dippy enlightenment moment is false. | ||
| And all it is, is you weren't cutting it as a cop, and maybe... | ||
| Probably you did some drugs on the job. | ||
| I'm not saying you should be setting people up, but I'm saying... | ||
| You didn't want to do that, and you wanted a better story, and this is the story you landed on. | ||
| I'm guessing he got let go for cause. | ||
| I mean, it's possible. | ||
| For cause, my friend. | ||
| Again, I don't care to parse it, and I don't know how I would figure that out. | ||
| But anyway, this guy, what a dick. | ||
| This fucking guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that brings us to the end of our show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Six weeks. | |
| I just love the specificity. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Look, you take a six-week course in whatever you want. | ||
| Pottery? | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Jealousy. | ||
| I'm going to teach you how to not be jealous. | ||
| You know, one of those basic human emotions that is very, very difficult to control, I can fix it in six weeks. | ||
| And one of the human behaviors that I really, I do think this, it's one of the behaviors that's most caused by someone else's behavior. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I do think that some people are pathologically jealous. | ||
| There are some people out there in the world, both men and women. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I... | |
| I think a lot of it can be triggered by someone not being responsive to a person's needs. | ||
| Shit like that. | ||
| Yeah, but at the end of the day, how much of your own insecurity is the real cause of your jealousy? | ||
| What I mean, I don't care to get into that, and I don't care to get into what I just said. | ||
| What I was trying to say, I think... | ||
| Default minus one point for that. | ||
| What I think I was trying to say is the number of people who would be in any way helped. | ||
| By a six-week class on jealousy is minuscule. | ||
| Six-week boot camp. | ||
| It's a very small amount of people who would be helped by that. | ||
| But anything is better than abstinence-only education, so whatever. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| All right, sure. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| Let's implement your sexist bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, no kidding. | ||
| Now, what you should be doing is teaching a six-week course about how your women should be staying at home. | ||
| I mean, you're not far off from that. | ||
| It's exactly what that is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a six-week class on how to be gaslit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| How to not trust your own perceptions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that's what most people are going to get out of a class in quotes like that. | |
| The problem with The Handmaiden's Tale is that it's actually an aspirational story. | ||
| That's what you should want to be like. | ||
| So we've learned that Alex has done cocaine twice. | ||
| Soap limericks. | ||
| Soap limericks doesn't give Obama a chance. | ||
| Just fucking... | ||
| What other drugs has he done twice? | ||
| I know he's done meth twice, he said. | ||
| Done meth twice, that's right. | ||
| He does weed every year. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You gotta figure out where you're at. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think he says he's drunk twice. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| A day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He eats a lot of chili. | |
| Oh, so much chili. | ||
| So much chili. | ||
| So that brings us to the end of the show. | ||
| Our website. | ||
| Yes, that's knowledgefight.com. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You can go there. | ||
| Or fillyourhand.com. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The best thing that's ever happened in my life. | ||
| Also, we are on Twitter. | ||
| What's our handle? | ||
| At knowledge underscore fight. | ||
| Where else are we on? | ||
|
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Facebook! | |
| Are we on Facebook? | ||
| We are. | ||
| We're also mining your data, I assume. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| We don't do that? | ||
| Barely paying attention to anybody. | ||
|
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We're bad at it. | |
| We're bad at it. | ||
| Leave us in charge of most of criminal enterprises and we'll be like... | ||
| Eh, I don't think we should be doing this. | ||
| I'm too busy. | ||
| I gotta listen to Project Cam a lot. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What are you doing stealing people's data? | ||
| Don't be an asshole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We also have a group on Facebook called Go Home and Tell Your Mother You're Brilliant. | ||
| iTunes. | ||
| Download. | ||
| Support the show. | ||
| Thank you to everybody who supports the show. | ||
| It means a lot. | ||
| So beyond that, I don't know. | ||
| You wanna flip a coin? | ||
| No, I'm gonna give it to you. | ||
| I think I'm about to pass out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We only have three real people here. | ||
| Alex Jones. | ||
| And again, I feel like it's sort of our standard to not. | ||
| It's a hackeric. | ||
| I find Soap Limerick Man delightful. | ||
| Although he does seem to be like a white nationalist. | ||
|
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Yep, yep. | |
| Which is a little troubling. | ||
|
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Yep. | |
| But he's too delightful. | ||
| I've got to say, Barry Cooper, please go fuck yourself. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
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Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first time caller. | ||
|
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I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |