Today, Dan tells Jordan all about the 15th installment of his increasingly frustrating investigation into why Alex Jones joined up with Team Trump back in 2015. Topics covered include: How many of Alex's guests can make completely embarrassing predictions on the show? How many terrible impressions is Alex capable of? What is less likely than Larry Nichols becoming a duck? Is Randy Quaid "credible?"
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey, everybody. | ||
| Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm Jordan. | |
| We're a couple dudes who like to sit around, drink novelty beverages, and talk a little bit about Alex Jones. | ||
| Yes, but, Dan, before we go any further, there's a twist. | ||
| What? | ||
| Look, this could have been written by M. Night Shyamalan. | ||
| Can I stop you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to engage. | |
| It could have been written by... | ||
| I want to engage in the bit, but my nose really itches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just can't do it. | |
| I just have no energy for the bit. | ||
| Alright, alright, alright, alright, fine. | ||
| Dan, you know a lot about Alex Jones. | ||
| True. | ||
| And I don't know anything about Alex Jones. | ||
| And that's the fun. | ||
| And I am also willing to pout. | ||
| That's what I am willing to do, sir. | ||
| Look forward to two hours of Sourpuss Jordan. | ||
| Today we are drinking... | ||
| We are drinking Sourpuss Jordan is what we're drinking today. | ||
| Drinking Faygo. | ||
| Shout out to our Juggalo homies. | ||
| Whoop whoop family. | ||
| This is Arctic Sun. | ||
| I had this recently. | ||
| Thought it was great. | ||
| It's kind of like a Canfield 50-50. | ||
| You know that soda? | ||
| No. | ||
| Tastes a lot like this. | ||
| You know that thing you don't know about? | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It tastes like this thing. | ||
| It's like a lime grapefruit situation. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's very, very good. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| So that's awesome, but we have other awesome things to talk about. | ||
| We have other awesome things to talk about? | ||
| We're about to announce. | ||
| Is it about how we're going to redo the bit, Dan? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| We're never doing that. | ||
| We have an announcement to make, and it's big. | ||
| It's earth-shattering. | ||
| And that is on the evening of September 9th. | ||
| Time to be determined. | ||
| We will be doing our first ever live show at North Bar here in Chicago, Illinois. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And it's essential. | ||
| That you come out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because, I mean, and in all honesty, one, no idea why people listen to this show in the first place. | ||
| No idea at all. | ||
| No clue. | ||
| No. | ||
| Furthermore, no idea what it's going to look like live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| I think we're just going to do the show. | ||
| I can't imagine people sticking around for that. | ||
| Some facsimile of the show. | ||
| There'll probably be some stand-up involved, too. | ||
| You might do a bit or two. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| A dance party afterward. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Make a night of it. | ||
| It's going to be a great time. | ||
| But more details will be forthcoming, but I wanted to let you know now. | ||
| The only thing that we will be playing at the dance party is the remix made of Ludacris with Alex Jones' verse dropped in. | ||
| I would be okay with that. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| That and the We Love Our Somalis song. | ||
| Oh, of course! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Of course! | ||
| So please, if you are inclined to come, it'll be a good time, and we could use all the wonks we can get there. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| And we're talking about you assholes in Europe, too. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Charter a private plane? | ||
| Get over here to Chicago. | ||
| Don't treat them that negatively. | ||
| Chicago is an international hub. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah, bring somebody out and have them go about 20 minutes in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| And then we'll just have fun. | ||
| Maybe limit that if you need to. | ||
| Yeah, bring somebody and give them absolutely no warning what this is about to be. | ||
| It will be a delight forever. | ||
| That would be a miserable time. | ||
| Ooh, first date? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Tinder date, maybe? | ||
| Maybe that's what we should do. | ||
| We should do a policy wonk singles night, and then all of our followers will breed. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wouldn't phrase it that way. | ||
| So speaking of people who deserve to breed... | ||
| Terrible transition. | ||
| Terrible transition. | ||
| That's the worst one in history. | ||
| I want to back up out of it. | ||
| That's the worst one in history. | ||
| I want to back up. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Just hey, I want to give a shout out to a couple new donators. | ||
| We're thrilled to have them on board. | ||
| Our first new policy wonk. | ||
| What's going on out there, Manuel? | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you for joining up. | ||
| Welcome to the fold, Manuel Noriega. | ||
| Although I assumed you were dead. | ||
| This one I can confirm is not Manuel Noriega. | ||
| This is an old time bud. | ||
| He's a Friesen Pointer sister from way back. | ||
| Oh, wonderful. | ||
| Thrilled to have him on board. | ||
| Also thrilled to have this next person on board. | ||
| What's up out there, Maya? | ||
| I'm a policy wonk. | ||
| Thank you very much for joining up. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I can't begin to describe how much I love your poetry. | ||
| Oh, I thought you were going to go with the R&B sensation Maya. | ||
| No. | ||
| Who sang the hook on Ghetto Superstar. | ||
| Listen, that Maya Angelou. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Would endorse our podcast. | ||
| Not just endorse it, but become a policy wonk. | ||
| Truly, truly inspiring stuff. | ||
| In many ways, we are podcast laureates. | ||
| Don't look at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Don't look at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| I was going to let that sit there. | ||
| I was going to let that sit there. | ||
| No, I am sure you get that bit all the time, Maya, but we are grateful for you, the person you are, and not you, your name. | ||
| And if you'd like to become a policy wonk yourself, you may do so by going to knowledgefight.com and clicking the support the show button. | ||
| Also, we had a great time going back in time on our last episode, back to 2011. | ||
| Yes, that was wonderful. | ||
| Just somewhere in time to find out what Alex Jones was doing. | ||
| You can do that there as well. | ||
| And just so you know, if you had a button sent to you and you sent me a picture of how terrible I am at mailing things. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because it turns out you can't just put buttons in an envelope and just send them into the ether sphere. | |
| Can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have re-sent those and you will be pleasantly surprised to find they are taped to shit. | |
| Reinforced envelopes. | ||
| Same envelopes. | ||
| You're not going to be able to get them open. | ||
| Same envelopes. | ||
| I just wrapped them in packing tape. | ||
| You're going to need a scissor. | ||
| And that is a nice transition. | ||
| Oh, God damn it! | ||
| Accidentally into this out-of-context drop from Alex Jones. | ||
| And then they can sexually mutilate her. | ||
| I mean, I wouldn't want that to happen. | ||
| I'm saying, you know, to follow more extreme Islamic beliefs, just, you know, have her genitals cut off. | ||
| There's some scissors right there. | ||
| I mean, I'm not for that. | ||
| I'm not being extreme. | ||
| I'm not the one doing it. | ||
| Oh, but I'll be attacked for this. | ||
| You can believe it. | ||
| That was just weird. | ||
| That was just gross. | ||
| We've got some scissors right over here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't know what he's trying to achieve. | |
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| That confused the hell out of me. | ||
| Furthermore, why does he have scissors? | ||
| What is he doing with scissors nearby? | ||
| Probably just opening up bottles of Supermail. | ||
| Doesn't his staff keep scissors away from him? | ||
| They know he's a danger to himself. | ||
| They're those little stubby ones from elementary school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's good. | |
| Yeah, the dull scissors. | ||
| So today, Jordan, we are back in 2015. | ||
| Wonderful. | ||
| engaging in part 15 of my investigation into what the fuck happened to Alex Jones back in 2015 to get him to sign up with Donald Trump. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Our last... | |
| We made no progress in terms of Donald Trump, but we did discover that Alex Jones is firmly in support of Russia and Vladimir Putin. | ||
| Very much so. | ||
| A scary amount. | ||
| In the last two months of 2015, he has not changed his position from, look, I like what Trump says, but I don't trust him. | ||
| That's what he said for a very long time now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that's where we begin. | ||
| That's where his head is at, at the beginning of today's investigation, which will cover October 7th to October 11th. | ||
| He does not trust Trump, because Trump is perhaps a billionaire fronted by, you know, a front for a consortium of Russian elites. | ||
| Yep, mob. | ||
| Mobbed up. | ||
| He literally just says mob. | ||
| Putin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who shares no... | ||
| No mob ties. | ||
| No, none. | ||
| Nuh-uh. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's definitely a trustworthy man. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He shoots straight from the hip. | ||
| He doesn't wear a shirt sometimes. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like Alex Jones. | |
| It doesn't get better than Alex. | ||
| For those of you who don't follow us on Twitter, you should check it out. | ||
| I posted a picture of Alex Jones from this last Sunday in 2017. | ||
| He broadcasted without a shirt on. | ||
| Really fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know why he did that. | ||
| I don't know why not. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So, we start on... | ||
| Think about how much better Wolf Blitzer's show would be if you just saw Wolf Blitzer's shirtless. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet he's swole. | ||
| That would be fucking hilarious. | ||
| I bet Wolf is swole. | ||
| He looks like Master Roshi from Dragon Ball Z. That reference missed me. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it does. | ||
| Anyway, we start on October 7th, Jordan. | ||
| And if you recall, on October 6th, Matt Drudge was in the house. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And I will say that a good portion of the stuff that I cut out... | ||
| Is Alex Jones replaying clips from the Drudge interview and talking about how important it was that he had Drudge on his show. | ||
| Just rubbing his belly the whole time. | ||
| I had Matt Drudge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What have you had? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| I got some scissors right over here. | ||
| To make up for cutting that out of the episode, I just have this, which encompasses everything that Alex really wants to say about Drudge. | ||
| I mean, it's sickening how much I like Matt Drudge, because it's so refreshing to somebody that gets it all, understands it, and is a fellow traveler, to use the communist term, but in a libertarian way. | ||
| I mean, I have to be honest and say, Matt Drudge is the coolest person I've ever known. | ||
| I mean, it's undoubtedly, hands down, he's helped us more, he's helped the country more, he's done so much good, it's sickening, in a good way. | ||
| I'm going to skip this network break. | ||
| I just can't help it. | ||
| No more. | ||
| In a few weeks, we're doing the tones for the satellite anyways and the TV stations. | ||
| That's not been done yet. | ||
| So I can't ever skip a break again. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Under contract. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| So just enjoy it, folks, because it's about to all end. | ||
| Is he getting a phone call? | ||
| I love the ramshackle ability. | ||
| The end of the internet. | ||
| It's already happening. | ||
| The end of the internet. | ||
| The end of the internet. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He just straight up gets a phone call and looks at it like, meh. | ||
| God damn it, Terry, stop calling me! | ||
| Someone who is not Matt Drudge is calling. | ||
| I like how he doesn't seem to own any positive adjectives. | ||
| He just uses his regular ones and then just... | ||
| Sickening, but positive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He said Trump is evil, but in a good way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Trump is a monstrous pedophile, but the good kind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, what? | |
| Huh? | ||
| Also, Matt Drudge is the coolest person I've ever met. | ||
| That's got to be tough news for Joe Rogan, Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Can't think of the other celebrities that hang out with Alex. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| They've got to take that as tough news, because all the things that Drudge is... | ||
| Doesn't seem cool. | ||
| I'm trying to think of a cool thing about him. | ||
| The hat. | ||
| He used to wear that fedora hat. | ||
| He used to be... | ||
| Okay, that's not very cool. | ||
| He's rich. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| He has a condo in Miami. | ||
| Oh, that's super uncool. | ||
| Bienvenido a Miami, says Matt Drudge. | ||
| That's the headline that the Supreme Court is not going to let me post in the future. | ||
| Why did you leave me hanging like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what to tell you about that. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| That was a struggle. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I was going all the way back to Will Smith. | ||
| I was like, wait, is that part of Wild Wild West or does he do more than one song? | ||
| Does he do more than one song? | ||
| I'm going to Miami. | ||
| Anyway, I heard the rainstorm. | ||
| Nothing to mess with, but I can't feel the drip on the strip. | ||
| It's a drip. | ||
| Ladies half-dressed, fully equipped. | ||
| Be screaming out, Will, we loved your last hit! | ||
| Can't remember the rest. | ||
| Alright, Knowledge Fight Live show! | ||
| September 9th. | ||
| Dan may be doing a little bit of karaoke. | ||
| I could also sing the entirety of Wild Wild West acapella. | ||
| Which I will do if someone donates. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I am putting a freeze on all donations until Dan refused. | ||
| So, on the show, the body of the show, there's a bunch of hot bullshit on the show. | ||
| And the first thing is... | ||
| Alex has an interview with Harry Dent, who is the economist who keeps saying that... | ||
| That's Harvey Dent. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| He keeps saying that economic collapse is coming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| About a month ago... | ||
| My gold. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's also part of Bain Capital, which was the company that Romney was involved with. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, Bain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| See, there we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So much Batman. | |
| It's all there. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And Batman. | ||
| Rappaport. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| We've figured it out. | ||
| His studio isn't in Austin. | ||
| All right, so he's on... | ||
| A month ago on the show, he said that the collapse was going to come within days. | ||
| It did not. | ||
| And here is his updated prediction, and it involves... | ||
| The collapse coming within days? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| The Pope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| The next chart's a very interesting one, and I've shown it before, and I've added one to mention. | ||
| It's called the Papal Visit Omen. | ||
| The Pope only seems to come over here at the top of bubbles. | ||
| So we look back at the last major peaks, which I also call a megaphone pattern, higher highs. | ||
| Each bubble takes us to higher highs, and each crash takes us to lower lows. | ||
| That's why I've been saying on your show now for several months that the next stop on the Dow, probably late next year, early 2017, is like 5,500 to 6,000. | ||
| And by the way, let me just stop you. | ||
| We may have to hold you a little bit past 33 if you can do that because this is so important. | ||
| You're a scientist when it comes to economics. | ||
| That's what you did for Bain. | ||
| That's what you were taught at Harvard. | ||
| You've got a great mind, obviously. | ||
| You're one of the best out there. | ||
| We don't obviously know why they come at the peak, but that's what I said myself, not even knowing you had this papal chart. | ||
| I'd miss this one. | ||
| It seems like Pope's come over here, because I went and looked, right before a crash, and right before global upheaval, they'll do these big western tours, and so it's not a good omen. | ||
| And you look at the chart, it's dead on. | ||
| That after a pope comes in 99, 2008, 2015, it drops right after. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's all for you, Alex. | |
| What's happening here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, you know, somebody's going to do a tour like this when people feel the best, you know? | |
| And so, you know, this is a time where this could happen and everybody wanted to happen. | ||
| So I think that's probably the reason. | ||
| Of course, this is not the reason. | ||
| So he's here to scoop offerings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| So he's here to get offerings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I mean, it's a good time to do it. | ||
| The Pope is here to get offerings. | ||
| That's what the Pope does? | ||
| Yeah, and that's a pretty interesting theory. | ||
| He has two data points that they're drawing from. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 2008 and 90. I love an economist who is like, well, as you can see, there are these highs. | ||
| And then there are these lows and they keep getting higher and lower. | ||
| And you're like, maybe it's unregulated capitalism causing these bubbles and busts. | ||
| He's like, no! | ||
| It's the Pope! | ||
|
unidentified
|
When he visits, all bets are off! | |
| It's a bad omen. | ||
| Is that part of the Chicago School of Economics? | ||
| The papal omens? | ||
| If that's what they're teaching at Harvard, we gotta rethink a lot. | ||
| I remember reading Freakonomics. | ||
| Made a follow-up called Poponomics, I believe. | ||
| I believe in statistics this is what is known as an inadequate set of data points, because in 1965, Pope Paul VI came, and there wasn't a crash in 65. Pope John Paul II came to the United States seven times. | ||
| He came in 1979, 1984, 1987, 1993, 1995, and 1999. | ||
| None of this is... | ||
| All of those crashes. | ||
| I remember every single one of those. | ||
| None of this is covered. | ||
| I mean, I wasn't even born for half of those, but they are burned into the public consciousness. | ||
| But yeah, Benedict came in 2008. | ||
| You got that one there. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Also, no, the crashes happened in 2007. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| So the papal omen, he wasn't even getting offerings this time. | ||
| Benedict XVI came in April of 2008. | ||
| New theory. | ||
| New theory. | ||
| That's when Nazism started spreading throughout the United States. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| And this is where really dumb economic theories keep spreading throughout Alex Jones' guests. | ||
| Like, I don't understand how anybody takes any of this shit seriously. | ||
| He literally has two data points. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's like, oh, this is a trend that I've, this is a graph that I've shown lots of people. | ||
| I love that he has it. | ||
| How has no one been, like, what are you doing? | ||
| I love that he has a chart, too. | ||
| Like, he pulls up a visual aid, like, and here's when the Pope visited, so as we can tell, also, you know, balls shrivel up on cows. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Be very afraid of Catholics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When the Pope visits. | ||
| They will drink the balls of your cows. | ||
| That's just how that works. | ||
| Undoubtedly. | ||
| They're the chupacabra of cow balls. | ||
| So, I mean, Alex has these dum-dums on his show and allows them to scare his audience with these idiotic predictions. | ||
| But, you know, you know why he does that. | ||
| Because he likes to play that game, too. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| He likes to make these terrible predictions. | ||
| And here is one. | ||
| Terrible predictions are fun, though. | ||
| Yeah, so he has a clip that he plays of Obama, like, who's going to take away guns and stuff like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is right after there was that shooting in Oregon, and Obama gives a speech about how we need to be as committed to our principles as the people who won't... | ||
| Give an inch on gun control or on theirs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Alex is kind of freaked out about it and makes a terrible prediction. | ||
| About this issue as folks on the other side who are absolutists and think that any gun safety measures are somehow an assault on freedom or communistic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or a plot by me to take over and stay in power for... | |
| Ever or something. | ||
| I mean, there are all kinds of crackpot conspiracy theories that float around there. | ||
| Some of which, by the way, are ratified by elected officials in the other party on occasion. | ||
| So basically he's saying you're a conspiracy theory, crackpot, and ratifying these theories. | ||
| You know, he is going to graduate up to the Secretary of Generalship of the UN or the head of one of these big mega banks. | ||
| That's what he says he wants to do. | ||
| That's what Tony Blair has gone on to do. | ||
| That's what Clinton has gone on to do. | ||
| That's what Clinton has said he wants as a Secretary-General, Shep, but he's too sick. | ||
| Obama can now get, globally, a lot of these Muslim countries to vote for him. | ||
| That's over a billion people right there. | ||
| Is that how the U.N. works? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the U.N. works like that. | |
| You get Muslim countries to vote for you, and then you become the Secretary-General. | ||
| And that's how big banks choose their leaders, too. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Will Muslims vote for you? | ||
| Here is Goldman Sachs. | ||
| Now, admittedly, Obama's only been out of office for eight months at this point when we're recording this, so we don't know, but all indications show he's not made moves to become the Secretary General of the UN. | ||
| Unless you ask Larry Nichols. | ||
| Unless you ask Larry Nichols. | ||
| Now, Dan, everybody knows that the regular UN is just a front for the secret UN. | ||
| Shadow UN. | ||
| Shadow UN. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The dark UN. | ||
| Okay, so Jordan, this next clip, I'm sorry to skip along so fast, but I'm excited to get to this. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| So I want you to not talk over this, because we need to study this clip. | ||
| This clip is fascinating to me. | ||
| I had to scroll back and listen to it a couple times, because I describe it as the anatomy of a bad comedy segment. | ||
| Like, he's trying to do something funny, his support staff isn't playing along, and so he's trying. | ||
| He's trying to get some juice working, and it's not going anywhere. | ||
| This is probably about two minutes long, and he just bails at the end. | ||
| And the bail is spectacular. | ||
| So here we go. | ||
| By the way, did you guys find the Skeksy I wanted? | ||
| Cue that up, because before I get into the serious news, actually, folks, Hillary is not sick. | ||
| She doesn't have six months to live, like some folks are getting ready to report. | ||
| Was I supposed to say that? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| She's fine. | ||
| She's doing great. | ||
| In fact, this was her just yesterday. | ||
| She was on the campaign trail, but she dropped by a friend's house and was having just some cocktails. | ||
| Some tea, some crumpets with some of the friends, and they were discussing someone else running for office and taking the scepter from her, but she stood up to him in a very, very dramatic way. | ||
| If you're not a TV viewer, I will narrate some of this, but it's just a plush Democratic facility, House. | ||
| You know, the Democrats on average would have six times the money of Republicans in Congress, the filthy rich off all their insider deals. | ||
| So, I want to cut in here real quick. | ||
| I didn't plan to. | ||
| It's not a great bit so far. | ||
| He's vamping really hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's trying to build this up a lot. | ||
| There's clearly a video from The Dark Crystal that he wants to play and pretend it's Hillary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's clearly what's going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The people behind the scenes are not playing the video. | |
| He's like, alright, gotta keep describing what I think will make this funny. | ||
| To the point where even, spoiler alert, they don't play the right video. | ||
| But even if they had... | ||
| This is such a long walk to get there. | ||
| It's torture. | ||
| That it would ruin the joke. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So anyway, here's how it doesn't work out. | ||
| I think it's wonderful. | ||
| But they class warfare all day against anyone who has money. | ||
| So here you have it, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| This is the amazing footage smuggled out by the incredible folks at Project Veritas, James O 'Keefe. | ||
| This is the footage. | ||
| And you're going to see Joe Biden. | ||
| Joe Biden discussing with Obama the fact that who's going to have the dynasty, the Obamas or the Clintons, and they're marching in to see her on a couch. | ||
| She's not sick, but she was laying on a pillowed couch, just relaxing her feet from being out on the road and shaking thousands of hands in between saying, who cares about Benghazi, who cares about emails, ha ha ha ha. | ||
| So here is Hillary Clinton. | ||
| Hillary Clinton, again, laying on the couch with the Democratic supporters that love her. | ||
| They're beautiful people. | ||
| Some of her girlfriends are there as well. | ||
| You can tell the girls by the little bows in their hair. | ||
| So let's go ahead and go to this footage. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| If you're a radio listener at Infowars.com forward slash show, here it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have gone further than anybody that I'm aware of in American history. | |
| Now, that's not a long history because we haven't had emails that long, but as long as we've had them, I've gone longer and farther to try to be as transparent as possible. | ||
| Nobody else has done that. | ||
| Let's continue here. | ||
| Let's get into the serious news. | ||
| Russian jets intercept U.S. predator drones over Syria, officials say. | ||
| So that wasn't... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Buckley got punched at the end of that show. | |
| That wasn't audio of Hillary Clinton talking over a video from the Dark Crystal. | ||
| That was just a clip of a Hillary Clinton speech. | ||
| Alex does this two-minute setup for what he thinks is going to be a dunk. | ||
| Out of nowhere. | ||
| Plays the wrong clip. | ||
| Yeah, you're totally right. | ||
| Un-fucking-believable. | ||
| During the break, he had to have been screaming. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| How dare you leave me out to dry like me earlier? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Look. | ||
| One thing that I've learned from doing a lot of stand-up, draw out the setup as long as humanly possible. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Brevity is not the soul of wit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Stretch it out. | ||
| Be as boring as possible. | ||
| And, if you can, do not at all hit the punch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not once. | |
| And then immediately pivot and pretend like... | ||
| Just never happened. | ||
| Pretend that's what was supposed to happen. | ||
| Like, that's gorgeous. | ||
| I won't be doing any stand-up at the live show, but I will just be reading that line for line, just word for word, and then we'll start the show. | ||
| When I talk about Alex Jones being incapable of humor, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because, like, he, even if it had gone perfectly, it wouldn't have been funny. | ||
| But if you have any chops, you should be able to try and bring some funny into the middle of it. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Spice it up a little. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| Hillary isn't sick, doesn't have six months to live. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Was I supposed to say that? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, Alex. | ||
| All right. | ||
| She's fine. | ||
| She dropped by a friend's house for cocktails. | ||
| We all know that's a thing that she did. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Discussing her successor, she refused. | ||
| She's too strong. | ||
| She's too amazing. | ||
| Obviously, Democrats are far richer than Republicans. | ||
| It's class warfare. | ||
| They hate the rich. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That makes perfect sense. | ||
| Joe Biden's there. | ||
| I do like that Joe Biden's just there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, why wouldn't Joe Biden be there? | ||
| Well, because it's part of Larry Nichols' narrative that Joe Biden is angling to try and take over her spot so Obama can create a caliphate and be the king of Muslims. | ||
| I think the people who should be most angry about this is Project Veritas. | ||
| Yeah, why do they get dragged into this? | ||
| Because even they aren't this bad at doing this. | ||
| Guys, we commit crimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hold the fucking phone. | ||
| We are full of fraud, but don't bring us into this. | ||
| Don't make us part of your terrible bit. | ||
| We are not a part of bad comedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's one line we do not cross. | |
| Project Veritas means truth. | ||
| So in this next clip, Alex gets a little racist, and then he talks about boots, which is fun. | ||
| Continuing here. | ||
| I always... | ||
| Get disgusted by racial stereotypes and racial comments spewed and pushed incessantly by racist black people. | ||
| And then media statements by mainly white people that blacks can't be racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| And this is a real culture of enslavement that they've been pushing. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| To say the least. | ||
| I mean, it's true slavery. | ||
| That's not rhetoric there. | ||
| That anybody who wants to be successful, anybody who wants to just associate with everybody, anybody who wants to own a company who's black is a sellout. | ||
| Anybody who dresses nice is a sellout. | ||
| Anybody that's got a nice car, unless they're a drug dealer, is a sellout. | ||
| I mean, these are the stereotypes that the Klan and others put out to suppress black people, and now blacks have accepted it all because they follow MTV and the very culture that wants to destroy them. | ||
| It's the hip-hop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That's what it is. | ||
| I mean, you don't think some of the redstones out dating black people, do you? | ||
| Or, you know, the clue you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| But they're sure pushing all this death culture on black folks, and everybody else picks it up thinking it's cool. | ||
| Oh, well, that makes sense. | ||
| It's like picking up a hand grenade and pulling the pin. | ||
| University of Pennsylvania professor, Anetha Butler, called presidential candidate Ben Carson a coon. | ||
| I've never even heard a white person use that term, but I've heard a lot of white people use it. | ||
| For claiming that people have the right to display Confederate flags on private property. | ||
| Alright, there it is. | ||
| That's the one right there. | ||
| Yeah, that's strong. | ||
| That was a barrage of bullshit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Un-fucking-believable. | ||
| It's not nearly done, either. | ||
| You can't just say, that's not merely rhetoric, this is true slavery. | ||
| Do you mean... | ||
| Literal? | ||
| Like the actual slavery? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why would you use that as your comparison in this? | ||
| Oh, I think it's obvious. | ||
| Rhetorically, to use his own word, it's dumb. | ||
| It's very dumb. | ||
| Anyway, let's get through the end of this clip because he has, like I said, he has some thoughts about boots that he somehow weaves into. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Well, I mean, that's just a fact. | ||
| You can fly swastikas. | ||
| You can fly Chinese flags. | ||
| You can fly... | ||
| McDonald's flag, you can fly. | ||
| Easter Bunny flag. | ||
| A gopher flag. | ||
| A Caddyshack flag. | ||
| I actually have one. | ||
| I mean, yes, that's because I'm racist against gophers. | ||
| I actually have all of those flags. | ||
| Kill all the gophers. | ||
| I'd go to jail. | ||
| The gophers! | ||
| Anyways. | ||
| Comedy. | ||
| It continues. | ||
| If only there was a Coon of the Year award, Professor Butler, one of these people who pushed racism, tweeted in response to another tweet. | ||
| Linking to a Sports Illustrated article in which Carson was quoted defending the right of NASCAR fans to fly Confederate flags. | ||
| Well, that's because he's educated, not an ignoramus and not a class warfare person. | ||
| He knows the Confederate flag means a hundred different things. | ||
| I mean, if somebody appropriates Doc Martens, who's a Nazi, does that mean someone wearing punk rock boots is a Nazi? | ||
| No. | ||
| Most people wearing them aren't a Nazi. | ||
| A lot of them are. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You know, when I was in high school, I wore all sorts of cowboy boots, tennis shoes. | ||
| I was ignorant. | ||
| I heard some punk rock music. | ||
| I liked some of it. | ||
| Didn't like most of it. | ||
| But one time, I was at the shopping mall and bought a black pair. | ||
| And I had, like, cute punk girls coming up to me wanting to go on a date. | ||
| I had women that liked it. | ||
| But I also had, like, white supremacists coming over, you know, saying, you know, are you 88? | ||
| You Heil Hitler? | ||
| And I also had, like, other skater people pull up and go, are you a racist? | ||
| We're going to beat your ass. | ||
| You know, stuff like that. | ||
| Just not knowing what these symbols mean. | ||
| So that's all the political correctness around that. | ||
| But then meanwhile, you've got black people parading around. | ||
| I was going off the Doc Martens because they can mean a lot of different things. | ||
| And just because somebody's ignorant about it doesn't mean you've got to ban it. | ||
| It's like banning Doc Martens. | ||
| Some schools ban Doc Martens in school. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Yeah, got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Got it. | ||
| Alright, Doc Martens? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Gonna fuck. | ||
| Gonna be asked if you're a Nazi. | ||
| Gonna get your ass kicked by skaterpunks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Also, sorry that there was some jumps there. | ||
| Some problem with my recording. | ||
| I don't know what happened there. | ||
| It was a little glitchy. | ||
| Basically, all that got cut out in those was him saying that some 16-year-old girls wanted him. | ||
| So, we got the point of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Over 150 16-year-old girls wanted him, if I recall. | ||
| Well, and here's the thing I want to say about his logic. | ||
| He's technically right. | ||
| You know, like, I guess having a Confederate flag doesn't make you a racist, and wearing Doc Martens doesn't make you a Nazi. | ||
| There's heavy overlap, though. | ||
| You know, that's the thing he's just discounting out of whole cloth. | ||
| It's like, the sets of people who have Confederate flags, the percentage of them that are racists. | ||
| I'm gonna go with 90-plus. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| I'm not sure if it's that high, but... | ||
| I'm gonna go with 90-plus. | ||
| I'm sure it is. | ||
| I'm gonna go with 90-plus. | ||
| Whatever the number is, it's statistically relevant. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Over the general population. | ||
| Right. | ||
| In the same way with Doc Martens. | ||
| It's statistically relevant. | ||
| There's more Nazis who wear Doc Martens. | ||
| Not all stereotypes are true. | ||
| And I don't think people should be judged on those stereotypes. | ||
| No. | ||
| Unless you have a Confederate flag, in which case you're a fucking racist. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm going to go with the burden of proof is on the defendant in that particular instance. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Interesting. | ||
| So, speaking of interesting things, on the last episode, Alex Jones said that if he had a gun to his head, if he was being approached by a shooter, That asks him if he's a Christian, he would lie to him and say that he wasn't a Christian. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we pointed out... | ||
| That that is wildly against scripture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Jesus and the Bible very clearly say that if you denounce me or you pretend you don't know me, I will pretend I do not know you in front of my father. | ||
| And we were also told that that whole thing is a myth perpetuated by Christian propagandists. | ||
| Certainly. | ||
| At least the Columbine one, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| But be that as it may, on this episode, the October 7th episode, Alex gets a caller. | ||
| Who tells him what we said, basically, that you are way out of line saying that you would deny Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is really fucked up. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| I can't believe you would say that. | ||
| And Alex is like, look, you're right, you're right, sorry, sorry. | ||
| I'm glad he took ownership for it. | ||
| The call is long, so I don't have anything from the call. | ||
| But he, in the end, is like, look, I'm so honest that I'm even honest about my lying. | ||
| That sort of thing. | ||
| It's like, nice save. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| Nice save. | ||
| But then he says this, which I think is incredibly telling. | ||
| This next clip is like something that I don't think he knows what he's saying because he's making some of our arguments for us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's nice. | |
| This is literally us being mirrored out of Alex Jones' mouth. | ||
| Well, that's awesome. | ||
| It's super bizarre. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| We get to do this for free. | ||
| Yeah, but listen. | ||
| And so you're absolutely right, and I just get up here sometimes in a fever. | ||
| Of news and information. | ||
| That's why I've said many times, I hear rebroadcast all the time and hear stuff I say that's wrong or that I don't agree with or where I misspoke. | ||
| There's a reason they have teleprompters. | ||
| There's a reason they script stuff because other people would stick their foot in their mouth more than me. | ||
| But you're absolutely right. | ||
| God bless you. | ||
| I appreciate your call, sir. | ||
| Great call. | ||
| One of the reasons he has that tone is he can tell it is an African-American gentleman on the other end of the phone who's preaching and teaching him about what Christianity is about. | ||
| But yeah, I listen back to tons of his episodes and hear things that he says that are wrong. | ||
| I hear a bunch of times that he says things that he misspeaks all the time. | ||
| The only difference is that he's blaming like, hey, look, everybody else would screw up more than me. | ||
| I don't have a teleprompter. | ||
| We don't have a teleprompter. | ||
| I think we've screwed up way less than him. | ||
| I mean, factually, probably. | ||
| Also, this game he's playing where he's like, I misspeak and stuff like this is actually a really generous version of it because the truth is that he's lying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not that he misspeaks. | ||
| He's legitimately and intentionally lying about what people are saying, what liberal causes are. | ||
| If you are on the right and caught red-handed in a lie, You will absolutely say you misspoke. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| There is no way that you will be like, oh yeah, you're right. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| No time for introspection, Dr. Jones. | ||
| No thank you. | ||
| Oh, that actually works really well. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Except I'd have to be talking to his dad, who's a dentist for the CIA. | ||
| Because Alex Jones does not have a doctorate. | ||
| As opposed to Indiana Jones' dad, who has a PhD in medieval literature. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Good trivia. | ||
| In case you're out at a bar. | ||
| Jordan, I would like you to put the mic down for five minutes. | ||
| You're on time out. | ||
| So, we're done with October 7th. | ||
| There's not a whole lot more in there we need to get to. | ||
| Nothing else we have to squeeze out of that chestnut. | ||
| We move on to October 8th. | ||
| And this begins a stretch of time where Alex Jones is doing a ton of impressions on the show. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I think he's trying to put together a reel. | ||
| I think he wants to get on SNL. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I don't know what's going on, but he does long impressions. | ||
| And this is the first one. | ||
| I think it's supposed to be an impression of Hal from... | ||
| Space Odyssey? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think that's what it's supposed to be. | ||
| Folks, we can beat them. | ||
| Do you understand that? | ||
| And that's what they're freaked out about in Congress. | ||
| It's why they've had CNN, MSNBC, the White House, all of them, media matters. | ||
| Every week I'm sent clips where they go, stop following Alex Jones! | ||
| Stop doing what he says. | ||
| Stop listening to his talking points. | ||
| You're discrediting yourself, Republicans. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| It's like the HAL 9000 in 2001 Space Odyssey saying, don't do that. | ||
| Don't do that, Captain. | ||
| Please stop. | ||
| Let's work this out. | ||
| You really don't want to do that. | ||
| Dead on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This isn't going well. | |
| I tell you, you're going to lose if you keep doing that. | ||
| I'm invincible. | ||
| You can't raise the debt limit when you raise it. | ||
| I'm the most transparent secretary of state ever. | ||
| Am a globalist British intelligence operative of the Combined World Government Compact of Bilderberg 1954. | ||
| Is he doing an impression of David Knight? | ||
| I was assembled at the Council on Foreign Relations on Pratt Street, New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My creator, David Rockefeller. | |
| Taught me to sing this song. | ||
| How is this still going? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Daisy. | |
| Is he dying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure. | |
| They can die just like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It can be over just like that. | |
| The minute you realize they're the enemy. | ||
| The minute you realize they hate you and your family. | ||
| The minute you break your conditioning and decide to not be a slave. | ||
| I think that the Daisy thing there has to be some code we don't know. | ||
| I think he's trying to give a message to the boys back home or something like that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's code. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| That's lunacy. | ||
| No, it's the song. | ||
| You know, Daisy, Daisy, what am I love? | ||
| I don't know the fucking song. | ||
| I'm not a member of the 8-8s. | ||
| You don't know David Rockefeller's songbook? | ||
| Is it similar to Harry Connick Jr.? | ||
| Build Me Up, Buttercup. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And Can You Woo Woo Woo by Jeffrey Osborn. | ||
| There it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the one. | |
| That's the best. | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| So, this next clip, we don't need to get into anything other than that being a fucked up, stupid impression. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| This next clip, we start a hierarchy of things Alex Jones likes. | ||
| Ranking? | ||
| Are we going bottom up or top down? | ||
| In this clip, we learn that Alex Jones likes something more than the rant he's in the middle of, which is delightful. | ||
| This is really weird. | ||
| Is he doing a top ten? | ||
| It's Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The stunning, stunning hero. | |
| And Kanye West and all these stupid stunt artists. | ||
| I mean, who cares? | ||
| Kanye West, his stupid wife, his stupid dad, all these stupid people. | ||
| I mean, I'm going to throw up. | ||
| This is the false culture. | ||
| They just vomit all over us with a stench and then go, oh, it's so good. | ||
| I mean, I'll tell you, they could have a trend to go out and run ice picks of their eyes and take their tongue and slice it off and just slip there and just go, ah! | ||
| And the liberals would go, ah, we worship you. | ||
| Or have some pot-bellied pedophile stumbling around going, oh my gosh, you're so wonderful. | ||
| And everybody would fall down and worship it. | ||
| I mean, I just can't take it anymore. | ||
| It's so alien. | ||
| It's so sick. | ||
| It's so degenerate. | ||
| Listen to that guitar. | ||
| That is so good. | ||
| Let's just crank that up for a moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| You can just have some pot-bellied... | ||
| Turn that guitar up with my headphones. | ||
| Listen to that guitar. | ||
| So we learned that the thing that Alex Jones likes more than the thing he's ranting about is anything else. | ||
| He just... | ||
| It could never be more clear that he's just filling time with random non-sequiturs from his, like, catalog of villains. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just a... | ||
| It's so good! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so good! | |
| Listen to that fucking guitar. | ||
| That's Randy Rhoads. | ||
| I would love it if every time there was a guitar, he's just like, Randy Rhoads right there. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| So, that is one part of the hierarchy. | ||
| I'm guessing he would never reference Prince's brilliant guitar making. | ||
| Certainly not. | ||
| Guitar making? | ||
| Guitar playing. | ||
| He's a race-baiting guitarist. | ||
| This guitar is race-pimping. | ||
| That's true slavery. | ||
| So, in this next clip, we find out what Alex Jones likes even more than not Randy Rhodes playing guitar. | ||
| And we should all be concerned. | ||
| Hasidic Jews. | ||
| They say Israel shouldn't even exist. | ||
| I'm not getting into that debate. | ||
| Yes, I know Jews can live in peace if they're not political and follow ancient Judaism in Iran. | ||
| I know all that. | ||
| The point is, can't people get this? | ||
| Israel's wrong. | ||
| Iran's wrong. | ||
| Turkey's wrong. | ||
| America's wrong. | ||
| Who's not wrong is Russia. | ||
| They didn't start any of this. | ||
| Syria didn't start any of this. | ||
| And they said they want to take down Syria before they take down Iran because Syria Might respond during an Iran attack. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| And they've given up their chemical weapons. | ||
| They did not give up their chemical weapons. | ||
| You'd think that if you just watched Russian television, though. | ||
| If you just watched Russian media, you would definitely think that. | ||
| I mean, you could describe using them as a sort of giving them up. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| As if you don't have them anymore. | ||
| We're giving up this Faygo right now. | ||
| Oh, I'm giving it up to the ghost. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pouring it out for a juggalo. | ||
| For the great Malenko. | ||
| Yeah, so that's deeply troubling and continues our trend that we're seeing of Alex Jones being incredibly pro-Russia and pro-Assad, which should be a big red flag for what we know ends up happening in a few months after this point. | ||
| That should be disqualifying. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't want to pull any sort of American nationalism or anything like that. | ||
| But if you are a politician, or an aspiring politician, and you're like, Siri is right! | ||
| Then it's like, no, no, no, you're out. | ||
| You're out. | ||
| Get a giant little cane and just pull him off by the neck. | ||
| Just tap dance him off the debate stage. | ||
| Yeah, do a little soft shoe. | ||
| So earlier, Harry Dent was on the show. | ||
| He was talking about how the Pope is going to bring an omen. | ||
| Oh, that was on the day before, excuse me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| About how the Pope is going to bring an omen of doom. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Alex Jones wants to talk a little bit about economic collapse, but he wants to tell you how he's right all the time. | ||
| And he pretends... | ||
| Even when he's wrong and misspeaks and listens back to the show and realizes that what he said was not true. | ||
| Well, what's interesting is in this clip, he pretends that he's only ever made one prediction about financial collapse. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Which is great. | ||
| How dare you associate with Alex Jones? | ||
| Ooh, you'll be demonized. | ||
| The conspiracy theorist that said the financial collapse would probably start... | ||
| This, you know, winner a couple years ago, and he's dead on now. | ||
| And the one that said that the Pope would call for world government, now he's done it. | ||
| And the guy that said, I mean, we're just covering reality here. | ||
| We told you forced inoculations were coming. | ||
| They haven't. | ||
| That's in the news. | ||
| I'm going to get to that when we start the next hour. | ||
| So it's all coming up. | ||
| Before we go any further, We are offering three specials right now that are unprecedented, 10% off all of the ProPure G2 water filtration systems. | ||
| I kept that in to confirm that we no longer have Big Berkey in the house. | ||
| Yeah, that's good. | ||
| We have ProPure now, which I don't think is the same company. | ||
| But be that as it may, just in the time that we've been covering, Alex Jones has shifted his prediction about economic collapse at least three times. | ||
| It started in the summer. | ||
| I'd say once a month. | ||
| He pushed it back to the fall, and then now it's the winter. | ||
| He's pretending that years ago, he's like, the collapse is going to come in the winter of 2015. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| It didn't. | ||
| No, it did not. | ||
| It absolutely did not. | ||
| So all this is wrong. | ||
| It's factually wrong this time. | ||
| It's intellectually dishonest for him to say that, oh yeah, I've been right. | ||
| I've been right. | ||
| I'm just talking about reality here. | ||
| The Pope called for world government. | ||
| Didn't really. | ||
| Forced vaccines are coming. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| You should still learn how to hide your guns from violent criminals. | ||
| You should. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| And you should get fucking vaccinated. | ||
| I think I've made my position clear on vaccines pretty much from the jump. | ||
| Here's something you don't fucking know. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| On October 8th... | ||
| I feel like I just got forced inoculated. | ||
| With some truth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Larry Nichols dropped by the show on October 8th. | ||
| And I didn't keep this clip in, but he tells Alex that he almost died because of some shots. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| They're real serious business. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| It's like, dude, you got lung cancer. | ||
| Don't fucking blame shots. | ||
| He almost died because of the shots. | ||
| Don't blame shots. | ||
| He has lung cancer, and in the fucking video that they play of him, the documentary, he's smoking a cigarette. | ||
| That's fucking fantastic. | ||
| Look, I mean, if you've already got lung cancer, fucking smoke him if you got him, right? | ||
| I don't disagree with that, and I'm not judging anyone for their choices, but if you want to talk about how X did Y to you in terms of health, and you're smoking cigarettes with lung cancer, Maybe it's on you. | ||
| Maybe you are really unhealthy. | ||
| Ah, you could blame it on the younger. | ||
| And I'm drinking Faygo. | ||
| I'm saying that to you, Larry Nichols. | ||
| So, I think that Larry Nichols is probably in the clubhouse for worst dude I've ever heard of. | ||
| Like, even worse than Alex Jones, I think Larry Nichols sucks way harder. | ||
| He's not great. | ||
| And we need to call him back at some point, because the list of questions is just piling up. | ||
| Yeah, we should call him back. | ||
| I still got him in my contacts list. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Give him a text. | ||
| It's probably a house phone. | ||
| It's probably a house phone. | ||
| We know that. | ||
| So in this first clip of Larry Nichols... | ||
| He continues the Infowars tradition of making a shit prediction. | ||
| But it's actually kind of phrased delightfully. | ||
| It's like a down-home aw-shucks kind of phrasing for a prediction that sucks. | ||
| Get ready, folks. | ||
| Barack Hussein Obama is no more planning to leave the White House than I plan to be a duck. | ||
|
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|
Matter of fact, I'll probably be a duck before he leaves the White House. | |
| He is doing everything in his power. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is setting up his circle of power. | |
| Now, remember when I told you Netanyahu? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What Netanyahu told me? | |
| Benjamin Netanyahu told me that as a part of the Iranian deal, that Obama was setting up what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They were negotiating what? | |
| With ISIS. | ||
| They were setting up a unified Islam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The unified caliphate. | |
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, as we all know, Sunni and Shia Muslims are getting along great right now, Dan. | ||
| They can't wait to team up under Obama. | ||
| They can't wait to team up under the guy who has personally led to bombing and murdering so many of them. | ||
| So here are beyond that the problems with that 30 seconds of Larry Nichols. | ||
| Like, first... | ||
| He's no more planning to leave the White House than I'm planning on becoming a duck. | ||
| He is not a duck at this point, and his prediction has not come true. | ||
| So he is honor-bound to now become a duck. | ||
| He has been taking a lot of shots, and I think we all know what they lead to. | ||
| Ducks. | ||
| Duck people. | ||
| Duck people. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| With sad duck-billed faces. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sad human bills on their face. | |
| And that's why we need to lower taxes to get these bills off of our faces! | ||
| They're right. | ||
| I love that unfrozen caveman lawyer aspect. | ||
| Now, your honor, I am no more guilty than my client is planning to be a duck. | ||
| I'm just a simple unfrozen caveman lawyer. | ||
| It's folksy, and that's some of the reason that Larry Nichols gets away with this bullshit. | ||
| That's because the people who are old racists hear him be like, now I'm not, he doesn't want to become office like I want to become a duck. | ||
| Now let me tell you that the Iran deal is about It's not! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's about making sure Iran doesn't get nuclear weapons. | |
| And giving them their money back that we took. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All money we take is our money, Dan. | |
| Non-civil asset forfeiture. | ||
| International asset forfeiture. | ||
| Violent forfeiture, if you will. | ||
| So, Larry Nichols, on this show, he comes in, he does some more Muslim baiting. | ||
| But the way he does this, his big narrative that he's coming to pitch on this episode is super weird, and Larry Nichols has completed his transformation not into a duck, but into a fear chain letter your grandma might send you. | ||
| Okay, excellent. | ||
| So here's this ridiculous bullshit. | ||
| It's about his friend who is a mechanic. | ||
| Keep that in mind as it starts. | ||
| Now, Muslims are no more fitting to work together than my mechanic is fitting to fix my transmission. | ||
| He was detailing one for a Pakistani dealer owner that owns three major dealerships. | ||
| And when he was cleaning the car, he opened up the glove box and out fell an ISIS flag. | ||
| It's a war flag. | ||
| Do you hear me? | ||
| That's a war flag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're proud to be a Muslim. | |
| That's not what that is. | ||
| We're conquering you. | ||
| We're going to chop your head off flag. | ||
| It's a war flag. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's a Wahhabist al-Qaeda flag. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alex, that literally happened yesterday. | |
| They're fighting al-Qaeda. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yesterday. | |
| With your permission, I'd like to explore it a little more. | ||
| How? | ||
| The problem is with our government, it's risky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's risky for the people that saw it. | |
| You know that. | ||
| There's that flag right there. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| But they're here now, Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're here now. | |
| And Obama is working to set us up as a caliphate. | ||
| He goes on to say, like, this is happening and the government won't do anything about it. | ||
| It's like, because this is an urban legend. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| This is a gossip story. | ||
| What is... | ||
| All right. | ||
| Why are you keeping your flag there? | ||
| That's one question. | ||
| Question one. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| First question. | ||
| You are a member of ISIS hiding within the United States. | ||
| A successful owner of three major dealerships. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And you are brought down. | ||
| Yeah, and you're brought down by, oh shit, even though I know I'm supposed to carry my ISIS flag all the time, in case I need to, what? | ||
| Chase down another car and I raise it like the skull and crossbones above my... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In case someone thinks you're set tripping. | ||
| In case someone thinks that you go into ISIS territory or something and they think that you're not ISIS, you pull out your flag. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're good. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Just like when you get pulled over by a cop in the South. | ||
| You just open up the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry, I don't have my registration, but I got a little bit of this battle flag. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh, one of them Duke boys up again this time! | ||
| You go along now, Bo. | ||
| My name's not Bo, it is now. | ||
| Yeah, that's the stupidest fucking story I've ever heard. | ||
| And let's imagine a scenario wherein it is true. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| In the same way that Alex would defend, and I defend, someone's right to have a Confederate flag or something like that. | ||
| Or something that's distasteful. | ||
| Some flag that is distasteful. | ||
| Right, like Doc Martens. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm fine with it. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I don't think having an ISIS flag proves that you are a part of ISIS. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Case in point, the house my friends had when we were 18. Covered in ISIS flags. | ||
| No, but we had a flagpole out front. | ||
| And we had a POW MIA flag. | ||
| None of us were in the service. | ||
| True. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, it doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this isn't true. | ||
| There's also that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Larry Nichols has no details, and it's just grandpa fear gossip. | ||
| I had a flagpole, and what we would do is we would steal other people's shorts. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Khaki shorts and then raise them up to the top of the flagpole. | ||
| That's what we used to do at camp. | ||
| May have been a Nickelodeon show. | ||
| I am not sure. | ||
| That's what we used to do at Camp Anawana. | ||
| We hold you in our heart. | ||
| And when we think about you, it makes us want to fart. | ||
| I love when I make a reference that I only halfway know and then it turns out you are all in. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| I remember when I used to hang out with Donkey Lips and Budnick. | ||
| I can't remember the girl's name. | ||
| I kind of want to go back and watch Salute Your Shorts again. | ||
| I did it like five years ago, maybe ten years ago. | ||
| Holds up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Doesn't hold up? | ||
| No. | ||
| In the same way that Pete and Pete doesn't. | ||
| Stop saying it does, all you dorks. | ||
| What about Saved by the Bell? | ||
| How's that going? | ||
| Oh, that show is terrible, even the first run. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The show sucks. | |
| It's kind of fun to go back and watch it and be like, what is... | ||
| This is... | ||
| It's a fever dream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like a hallucinogenic kind of show. | ||
| I mean, not in the sense that there's trippy things. | ||
| It's just like, this is... | ||
| This writing doesn't make sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This plot is no way. | ||
| I remember being a huge fan of the one where they all become lifeguards on the beach. | ||
| Sure, there was a whole like... | ||
| When they were Baywatch, when they were saved by the Baywatch. | ||
| That was like a whole couple episode arc, I believe. | ||
| Yeah, it was fantastic. | ||
| Because Leah Remini... | ||
| Yeah, that's right! | ||
| Yeah, she was like, her dad owned the beach club that they went and worked at or something. | ||
| And he was a squat fat fella. | ||
| Probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Anyway, he's not squat or fat, but Larry Nichols probably owns a beach house. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They get into a conversation about just, you know, the state of the world. | ||
| And Alex ends up advocating for something that I never would have thought I'd hear him say on air. | ||
| This is something that, like... | ||
| It's hard for us to get surprised listening to Alex, but this clip legitimately surprised me in how it ends. | ||
| Statesrights.videos where you can find the new film that Larry Nichols is in, breaking down a way to take the country back via the states. | ||
| I wrote an article that Drudge linked to that went real viral, and I was proud of the fact a lot of constitutional lawyers came on the broadcast and said, no, we've read your plan. | ||
| It's actually what the founders talked about in the decade after the country was founded because the country almost broke up a few times then that they could just have the states, the feds got out of control, pull out of the federal government and then reconstitute the federal government. | ||
| I'm not saying secede in Texas to become our own republic. | ||
| I'm saying we need states to secede and go, look, we're seceding from an illegitimate, occupied federal government run by foreign interests. | ||
| I never would have thought I'd hear him legitimately just straight up say that states should secede. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty far. | ||
| That's pretty... | ||
| That's out there. | ||
| Even for Alex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think so? | |
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| Um, I don't know. | ||
| I feel like Alex is leaning towards secede. | ||
| Like, it's the unsmoken thing at the end of every sentence that he says. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, all of our country is being run by globalist pedophiles running there to... | |
| We should succeed. | ||
| But we should... | ||
| There's probably something to that, but at the same time, overtly saying it is kind of weird. | ||
| It is kind of weird. | ||
| And I don't... | ||
| What article was he... | ||
| What article is he talking about where in constitutional lawyers say that the Founding Fathers wanted you to secede in case... | ||
| He's talking about a conversation that he had with constitutional lawyers. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I thought they came on the show. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And they said... | ||
| Because he linked to an article. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't look it up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't believe it in the same way that I don't believe he's only made one prediction about financial collapse. | ||
| Listening to this show, there's so much that I have to just say, it's clearly not true, and then just move along. | ||
| I have to choose my spots. | ||
| Because otherwise, one episode would take a month to do. | ||
| And then our fans would get really pissed off. | ||
| But as long as the episode lasted about a month, our fans would be great. | ||
| Yeah, I guess so. | ||
| If we recorded in real time while I researched, that would be a terrible show. | ||
| And it will not be what we do live. | ||
| Just a 384 hour long episode? | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Marathon. | ||
| So, in this next clip, Larry Nichols says something that also surprises me a little bit. | ||
| It's troubling. | ||
| I mean, what do you think it means when Matt Drudge, the biggest guy in media when it comes down to one person, is at my office? | ||
| I mean, can you imagine the meeting, the three-hour meeting we had? | ||
| I mean, people, this is real. | ||
| That's all I can tell, folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's real. | |
| And remember, I helped Clarence Thomas with his little problem with Anita Hill. | ||
| Yikes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you just call that a little problem? | |
| You know, I'm just telling you guys, This is not a scare tactic. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I don't like the idea. | ||
| That's the grossest thing I have... | ||
| For the few youngins out there, Anita Hill very obviously was sexually harassed by Clarence Thomas when she worked for him. | ||
| And the right wing attacked her aggressively. | ||
| Mercilessly. | ||
| To the point where, years later even, Clarence Thomas' wife left a voicemail for her. | ||
| That was demanding an apology. | ||
| And she thought it was fake and called the FBI, found out it was real, and Clarence Thomas' wife was like, I consider it an olive branch. | ||
| I was trying to... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| You guys are crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You better give my husband a public apology or I will murder! | |
| It was an olive branch. | ||
| I was trying to make nice. | ||
| I was trying to start a dialogue, Dad. | ||
| You always negotiate from a position of straight-up murdering. | ||
| And from what I understand, I haven't looked into this in a long time, but as I recall, the Clarence Thomas situation with Anita Hill was what caused David Brock to become a liberal. | ||
| That was what made him be like, oh my god, there is so much... | ||
| Backroom evil character assassination going on of this woman who's just, you know, saying that she was sexually harassed. | ||
| And she absolutely was. | ||
| And it gave us that famous line, who put this pube on my coke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So something good came out of it, I suppose. | |
| Also, Larry Nichols didn't, I don't believe that he hung out with Clarence Thomas. | ||
| In the same way I don't believe he was talking to Bibi Netanyahu. | ||
| I don't believe any of that shit. | ||
| Also, we talked over it a little bit, but in that clip was the first time that Alex Jones gives up that Matt Drudge was talking about Clarence Thomas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because he's like, Larry Nichols brings up Clarence Thomas, and Alex is like, don't give it away! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just did! | |
| You dickhole! | ||
| You could have just pretended it was a non-sequitur. | ||
| He doesn't give up secret sources. | ||
| Gives them all up. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| I'm just going to say it. | ||
| I got that information from Donald Trump Jr. | ||
| I'm just going to say it. | ||
| Look, everyone knows. | ||
| We can just come out with it. | ||
| Cernovich's sources. | ||
| It's Donald Trump Jr. | ||
| He pimped out Cernovich, even. | ||
| Oh, so good. | ||
| So, that's the end of Larry Nichols, and that's the end of October 8th. | ||
| Still no development in terms of Trump. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Just a load of bullshit. | ||
| Oh wait, I forgot. | ||
| We have something big we have to talk about. | ||
| Nope, never mind. | ||
| Wrong day. | ||
| Alert. | ||
| Alert. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Don't look at me like that. | ||
| Was that your HAL 9000 impression? | ||
| It was. | ||
| So we get to October 9th, and there's only one clip to play, but something to discuss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So I'll play the clip first. | ||
| It's another one of Alex Jones' big impressions. | ||
| This one? | ||
| Supposed to be Dracula? | ||
| No one's coming after your guns. | ||
| Two plus two equals five. | ||
| Don't question us. | ||
| Sleep. | ||
| Sleep. | ||
| Or Count Dracula saying to von Helsing, come here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have a strong will for one who has only lived one life. | |
| Come here. | ||
| And they're saying, there is nothing happening. | ||
| There are no open borders. | ||
| There is no world government. | ||
| The dollar is not being devalued. | ||
| There are no armored vehicles or cameras. | ||
| There is no police state. | ||
| There are not 40 million illegals pouring into the United States getting free health care. | ||
| That's not unfair. | ||
| Do not awaken. | ||
| Trust us. | ||
| There is no organization in power. | ||
| Power does not seek power. | ||
| Sleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are becoming sleepy, my dear. | |
| Lay in your bed. | ||
| Open your nightgown and show me your neck. | ||
| Is he still talking to Van Helsing? | ||
| I mean, this is truly them panicking. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| Is that what that is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that them panicking? | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| That's insanity. | ||
| So, on the 9th, I don't have any clips of these things because they aren't worth it. | ||
| He's mad that there was a yoga class that didn't allow white people in. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I just don't. | ||
| I don't care at all. | ||
| No, Dan, it's the hot take economy. | ||
| Dan, you gotta have a take. | ||
| I don't have a take. | ||
| You gotta have a take. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| I forgot to get this clip. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| This one was big. | ||
| He literally says, when an executive fights checks and balances, that is a dictatorship. | ||
| I would love to throw that clip right in his face right about now. | ||
| But anyway, the big thing that's going on is that Barack Obama. | ||
| Hussein Obama, according to Larry Nichols. | ||
| Pardon me. | ||
| We can neither confirm nor deny that it is his middle name. | ||
| Ipecac pajamas. | ||
| He went... | ||
| So there was a shooting in Oregon. | ||
| A couple days before this. | ||
| A little bit before. | ||
| And Obama is going to meet with the families and going to pay condolences. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like a human being. | ||
| Like a good president. | ||
| That's something that a president would do after a tragedy. | ||
| You know, if you were a good president, you would want to be a symbol to the nation. | ||
| Even if you're not necessarily running everything like a dictator, you are still a symbol of the American conscience and the American spirit. | ||
| And so if there is a horrible national tragedy like this, you should... | ||
| You could be there to make sure that everyone is together, everyone realizes what's going on, and everybody decides that it's time to fucking fix it. | ||
| Or you could go on TV three days later and defend fucking Nazis! | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of the two. | |
| You can do one or the other, Dan. | ||
| One of the two. | ||
| You can do one or the other. | ||
| One of the two. | ||
| Doesn't matter which one you choose, you're still the fucking president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How's he still the fucking... | |
| I... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There's good and bad on both sides of that debate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you! | |
| Fuck you, Dan! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| God, I'm so mad. | ||
| Listening to Obama be amazing is only even... | ||
| I was really pissed off at how much unsanctioned murder he was doing. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I was really mad at that. | ||
| Pretty bad. | ||
| But goddammit now if I just don't want us to bring it back. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Bring back Obama's... | ||
| Because Trump is so much worse. | ||
| Quite. | ||
| So much worse on the murder front. | ||
| So much worse on... | ||
| Literally every front. | ||
| 100% of the fronts. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| There is no, there is zero upside to Trump being president. | ||
| Unless you're really rich and then theoretical tax breaks are coming. | ||
| But even that is not happening. | ||
| Doesn't seem like it. | ||
| No! | ||
| There is no upside. | ||
| Well, I suppose if you're an oil exec, you do get to own the national parks now. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's good stuff. | ||
| If you're a climate denier, I guess you do get to do whatever the fuck it is you want now. | ||
| You calm down and have that cigarette. | ||
| I'm not calm, Dan! | ||
| We just heard Obama's voice and it triggered me. | ||
| It was like, oh, do you remember those Pollyanna times when all we had to worry about? | ||
| I got triggered, Dan. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You're getting hot. | ||
| I'm sorry, Dan. | ||
| You need to calm down. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, this isn't going to make things better, but... | ||
| Paul Joseph Watson is in town visiting. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| We're not listening to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But the two of them have a nice little chat, and I realize that the two of them do not like each other. | ||
| You can tell by their body language. | ||
| They seem to be miserable being in the same room. | ||
| He is not laughing at any of Alex's jokes. | ||
| He is just sort of looking like, ugh, this guy. | ||
| Which, I agree. | ||
| I kind of agree. | ||
| So, they present it as, Obama is going to Oregon to feed off the deaths. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| If you really think about it, there's nothing Obama could do that would... | ||
| Win in this situation. | ||
| Because if he goes, that's the narrative they're going to use. | ||
| If he doesn't, they're going to use the argument you just used. | ||
| That why wouldn't he? | ||
| He's the president. | ||
| How could he be so heartless as to not show up at this shooting? | ||
| The victim not black enough? | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| That's the narrative they would go with if he didn't go. | ||
| It's a complete trap. | ||
| If you hate somebody that much... | ||
| There's never going to be a win. | ||
| No, but it's a trap. | ||
| It's a propaganda trap. | ||
| And the only thing to do in that situation is ignore it, and I'm glad that most people do. | ||
| But Alex Jones sends Jakari Jackson and Joe Biggs out to Oregon. | ||
| And they're ramping it up as, like, there's going to be a protest. | ||
| Obama, you're not welcome here. | ||
| Stop trying to exploit these deaths and stuff like that. | ||
| He's saying there's going to be 10,000 people there. | ||
| Which, it turns out, is based on a Facebook event. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So good reporting. | ||
| Good job. | ||
| It turns out there's more like a couple hundred, and they're at a place that they think Obama is going to land at. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| He doesn't end up landing there. | ||
| And it's just Joe Biggs and Jakari Jackson walking around talking to people with Infowars shirts on. | ||
| Good deal. | ||
| One of them talks through a trach tube. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| Which is a great interview. | ||
| Another one is a young guy with a Hillary for prison shirt. | ||
| And they're all from out of town. | ||
| They all came in to say, Obama, you're not welcome in this town. | ||
| And it's very weird to me. | ||
| It's very strange that you have these people speaking for that town because of their hatred of Obama. | ||
| Anyway, it's terrible, the audio's bad, and there's not much going on with it. | ||
| But it does merit mentioning because of that damned if you do, damned if you don't thing that they set Obama into, and the fact that they spent money to fly fucking Biggs and Jakari out there for nothing. | ||
| Except Trake Guy. | ||
| Trake Guy is pretty cool. | ||
| They should have had to drive out there or ride the rails like an old Bing Crosby comedy. | ||
| Like have an adventure? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Jackson and Biggs on the road. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I would watch that travelogue. | ||
| I think it would be fun. | ||
| Also, Alex Jones and Paul Joseph Watson very aggressively minimize rape. | ||
| And I've saved you from having to listen to that. | ||
| But it bears mentioning just because those dudes suck. | ||
| That's the end of the 9th, which is a Friday. | ||
| No show on Saturday. | ||
| And we get to October 11th, which is the last day we're going to be covering. | ||
| This is going way too fast. | ||
| I don't know what's going on. | ||
| We're only at an hour. | ||
| Doesn't it feel like it's been more? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is weird. | ||
| We have covered a lot. | ||
| Are we in a time warp? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I feel like we've been dicking around. | ||
| I feel like that too. | ||
| Yeah, what is going on? | ||
| How many clips do you have? | ||
| We're on clip 16. How are we on this many clips this fast? | ||
| It's been an hour and nine minutes only. | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| Something is wrong. | ||
| Nothing's wrong. | ||
| No, it is... | ||
| I just checked the time. | ||
| Yeah, it is 8.31. | ||
| I feel like we're in a wormhole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We're gonna make these last clips last, I guess. | ||
| Vamp. | ||
| So, on October 11th, Alex Jones wants to... | ||
| I don't know what he's doing here. | ||
| I gotta be honest. | ||
| I'm not entirely sure what the agenda is, but he says something that I do not agree with about a celebrity. | ||
| Also, see if you can guess who the celebrity is before he says his name. | ||
| They supposedly committed $5,000 of vandalism in L.A. five years ago. | ||
| Mario Lopez. | ||
| He's arrested and going to be extradited to California, but the illegals can create just huge amounts of crimes. | ||
| So, hold on. | ||
| Roman Polanski? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's a shit argument that he's making, but also I want you to try and guess who the celebrity is. | ||
| Apparently they committed $5,000 worth of damage. | ||
| Right. | ||
| In Los Angeles and then fled. | ||
| Oh, Mark Wahlberg. | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You get two more guesses. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Wait, Mark Wahlberg or Mark L. Wahlberg? | ||
| The game show host. | ||
| I'm going to go for the rare twofer, Dan. | ||
| Okay, they did it together? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| On the set of the Antiques Roadshow. | ||
| When it came to Boston, they threw down and blinded an Asian dude. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| No, that is not correct. | ||
| Celebrity... | ||
| Charlie Sheen? | ||
| That is incorrect. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| I'm getting in trouble. | ||
| Randy Quaid, who said that Hollywood lawyers and others had swindled him and that they were basically killing stars after they'd robbed him. | ||
| Well, I don't know if he's telling the truth. | ||
| He comes off as credible. | ||
| But I know the inside of Hollywood. | ||
| And I know I've been told the exact same thing about some of the biggest stars out there. | ||
| That's a great... | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Randy Quaid comes off as credible. | ||
| Comes off as credible. | ||
| No, he does not. | ||
| He comes off as very credible. | ||
| Comes off as a lunatic. | ||
| Whenever he does those grainy YouTube videos from his RV looking like a homeless mountain man, yeah. | ||
| There's Starkillers out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| He sounds credible. | ||
| So he did break up some stuff and he did cause some property damage. | ||
| But the bigger issue that he got in trouble for was that he and his wife defrauded an innkeeper in Santa Barbara by using an invalid credit card to pay a $10,000 bill. | ||
| So they committed fraud. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They eventually appeared in court. | ||
| The case was dismissed and they paid most of it. | ||
| And they got three years of probation in addition to 240 hours of community service for it. | ||
| Didn't they flee the country, though? | ||
| They ended up fleeing to Montreal a little bit later. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But before that, in September of 2010, Randy and his wife got charged with burglary. | ||
| After they spent five days occupying the guest house in a vacant home they used to own. | ||
| They claim that the whole... | ||
| God damn it if that isn't a behind-the-music Hollywood situation where you're like, the good times were right around the corner after Independence Day. | ||
| And then... | ||
| The fall. | ||
| Then they were squatting. | ||
| Then they were squatting in a home they used to own. | ||
| They claimed that the home was wrongfully transferred to a third party by the use of a forged signature. | ||
| Warrants for their arrest were issued after they failed to appear in court, and as a result, they forfeited their bail. | ||
| And then they ran to Canada, where they were arrested for their outstanding warrants. | ||
| They sought protection under the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act in Canada, claiming that they feared for their lives because of these star killers. | ||
| Of course, of course. | ||
| They stuck around, but in 2013, Canada denied Randy Quaid's request for permanent resident status. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aw. | |
| Then, you know, he lived in Montreal, but was briefly arrested for not checking in as a non-resident. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| For something you have to do in Canada and America. | ||
| He was an illegal immigrant. | ||
| Yeah, he was. | ||
| Then he crossed the border into Vermont and was detained by U.S. Customs. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| A few days later, he was released. | ||
| If you're Randy Quaid or Dennis Quaid, why do you think you can get through customs without them noticing you? | ||
| Hey, it's that guy. | ||
| Hey, it's... | ||
| One, again, loved you in Independence Day. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Yeah, you played... | ||
| It was very real. | ||
| National Lampoon's family vacation? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| I am going to have to arrest you, you fucking idiot. | ||
| A few days later, after he was detained by U.S. Customs, he was released and allowed to remain in Vermont without conditions. | ||
| Though he is still subject to arrest should he travel to another state. | ||
| Should he travel to another state? | ||
| He's stuck in Vermont. | ||
| Wait, is there... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is Vermont okay? | |
| It's probably Bernie Sanders letting him off the hook. | ||
| That's what I would guess. | ||
| Bernie Sanders pulling some strings. | ||
| Yeah, Bernie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know! | |
| It's the Starkillers that are coming after me, too! | ||
| I understand you! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Seems credible, though. | ||
| He seems credible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is right in line with Alex Jones' thinking, because look at all these shit... | ||
| Also, that was my HAL 9000 impression. | ||
| Seems credible. | ||
| So look at all these shit predictions he's allowed to be said on his show already, just in this episode. | ||
| There's so many of them that he deems... | ||
| All these people, he deems them credible. | ||
| Harry Dent. | ||
| Himself. | ||
| Larry Nichols. | ||
| All these people. | ||
| Now we get to add one more to that list. | ||
| Here's Leo Zagami. | ||
| Oh, Leo Zagami! | ||
| We're back on the papal omen. | ||
| No, not quite. | ||
| He wants to talk about how there's a gay lobby in the Vatican. | ||
| I cut out all that stuff because I don't really care and his Skype is terrible. | ||
| But here he comes in the clutch with a shit prediction. | ||
| How is it going for Pope Francis? | ||
| Is it going well? | ||
| Is it going bad? | ||
| What's the next big shoe to drop? | ||
| I'm giving you a word scoop. | ||
| You are about to hear a word scoop. | ||
| The Pope will resign next year after his visit to Argentina. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Okay, that's big, because two years before the scandal started, five years ago, you said a Jesuit Pope would take over and mention two men, one of them this Pope, and said they'd use the pedophile scandal to take over. | ||
| That then came out in mainstream news. | ||
| So you've been proven right many times. | ||
| No, you're saying world scoop. | ||
| Are you predicting this from the tea leaves or do you have inside sources? | ||
| Zero time. | ||
| This is inside sources, two different inside sources, one from the Secretary of State of the Vatican, the other one from the Knights of the Holy Sepulchre, saying that the Pope will use the visit to his home place, I mean, Argentina, to make... | ||
| in a way preparing the way for his coming back to Argentina because apparently he doesn't want to reside after in Castel Gandalf or in the Vatican. | ||
| He wants to simply retire in Argentina. | ||
| So, that prediction did not come true. | ||
| Isn't that, like... | ||
| If I recall, it was bananas that Pope Benedict resigned instead of just dying as Pope. | ||
| Yes, that was massive. | ||
| Yeah, the idea that two Popes would resign back-to-back seems wackadoo. | ||
| Well, the premise that he fleshes out as that clip goes on is that... | ||
| The Vatican is trying to turn the Pope into a position as opposed to like a lifelong thing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So they can shuttle people in and out. | ||
| There could be multiple living Popes and then eventually there'd be a council of Popes. | ||
| You know, that's actually a really interesting time in the Catholic Church when there were multiple Popes fighting against each other because... | ||
| That's just one of those beautiful things where, like, come on, you guys know that your religion means nothing to you. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You guys seem really silly to all of us. | ||
| Yeah, this is bullshit out of the gate, man. | ||
| Oh, I'm the secret pope! | ||
| I'm the dark pope! | ||
| At the same time, Alex does think that there's a black pope. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He does think that there's, like, Vatican assassins and shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, absolutely. | |
| So he already thinks that there are multiple popes. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Well, he saw that movie with... | ||
| The Order? | ||
| Yeah, he saw The Order. | ||
| Yeah, he thinks there's sin eaters. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That movie is terrible. | ||
| I love that movie. | ||
| I kind of agree. | ||
| It was like a secret. | ||
| It was like a sequel to A Knight's Tale. | ||
| It had the same cast. | ||
| Shannon Stossiman. | ||
| Shannon Stossiman. | ||
| She's the one, man. | ||
| She's the one. | ||
| Except in that 40 Days and 40 Nights when our man Josh Hartnett makes her orgasm with a rose petal. | ||
| That was before Hartnett became a good actor. | ||
| I don't know if he ever did. | ||
| Did he become a good actor? | ||
| Hollywood homicide? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| No, he was, uh, what's the one, uh, what's the TV show? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Uh, it's a good one. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| I lost track of Josh Hartnett around the, then. | ||
| Penny Dreadful. | ||
| He was in Penny Dreadful. | ||
| He was amazing in Penny Dreadful. | ||
| Very thrilled for him. | ||
| It wasn't, it was, uh, it was her show. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Stassman? | ||
| No. | ||
| What's her, what's her, goddammit, I don't remember anybody's fucking name. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The moment I need to remember a name. | ||
| I got nothing on this. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| So, uh, this whole investigation. | ||
| This 2015 investigation is entirely about trying to figure out where Alex Jones decided Trump is cool. | ||
| And for the time that we've covered, he has not really talked much about Trump. | ||
| Yeah, we're on how many months now? | ||
| It's October, so we're in close to five months. | ||
| We started in June. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So yeah, we're close to five. | ||
| And in these last three or four days that we covered, he doesn't really talk about Trump much. | ||
| It's not like I'm picking and choosing stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But on the 11th, he does... | ||
| Is there a larger context? | ||
| Because if I recall, this entire time... | ||
| Oh, you mean what's going on in the world? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, everyone's talking about Trump. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| This entire time, every single day, is some dumb Trump shit. | ||
| Everyone's talking about Trump. | ||
| Ad nauseum. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And Alex is being weirdly restrained. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that was the thing. | ||
| He's too busy talking about how great Russia is. | ||
| He got billions and billions of dollars in free ads because everybody was just like, look at this silly dumb fuck. | ||
| There's no way that he's going to be. | ||
| Oh shit, he's the nominee. | ||
| Well, look at this silly dumb fuck nominee. | ||
| Thank God we got him. | ||
| So our other most hated candidate in history will finally become fucking president. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Because of the complicity of your dumb fuck media. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Thanks, guys. | ||
| Thanks, CNN. | ||
| Thanks, New York Times. | ||
| You guys did it. | ||
| We've been over that. | ||
| I'm glad MSNBC fucking hired Peggy goddamn Noonan. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| You know, the greatest conservative columnist of our time. | ||
| You're getting hot again. | ||
| You might as well have fucking hired David Brooks. | ||
| You're getting hot. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
| David Brooks still has a fucking job. | ||
| How is any of this shit possible, Dan? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dan, we live in a weird funhouse mirror of a world, right? | ||
| That's what's going on here. | ||
| I think the time warp must have happened and we're in a different dimension. | ||
| That must be what's going on. | ||
| It's so weird because the stuff that they are doing, that they're actually successfully doing, is absolutely destroying the Earth. | ||
| Like, the stuff that they can do in secret, like, they're getting rid of all the regulations. | ||
| They're getting ready to sell off our national parks. | ||
| They're getting rid of all of these, like, the EPA isn't even allowed to use the words climate change anymore. | ||
| Like, they're killing us. | ||
| But all of the big stuff they're failing at so, so spectacularly. | ||
| Or you're just like, well, maybe we can get through this. | ||
| Like, maybe we actually can get through this. | ||
| Trump should be fucking... | ||
| But they're failing that large stuff spectacularly while they succeed in the important stuff. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| That is dangerous. | ||
| They're killing us, and we're not going to be able to... | ||
| No. | ||
| Just like Obamacare... | ||
| And it's a lot of damage you can't undo. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, and just like Obamacare, you're not going to repeal that. | ||
| It's just too big, and it's actually too effective. | ||
| It's not effective enough, but it has helped so many people that you're not going to take it back. | ||
| The same thing is true of a lot of these regulations where they got rid of them, and it's not going to be like our next president is just going to go, and they're back on. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| That's not going to happen. | ||
| It's going to take... | ||
| Years upon years upon years. | ||
| Because a lot of them took years in the first place in order to implement because business interests are so strongly against them. | ||
| Even though they save lives and protect the environment and shit like that. | ||
| And make it a better environment for the business to... | ||
| Businesses to work in long term. | ||
| Yeah, everyone wins. | ||
| You just gotta save people from their greedy selves. | ||
| Anyways, Flint still doesn't have clean water. | ||
| Thank God for getting rid of EPA regulations. | ||
| I can't understand the just... | ||
| Sincere level of sociopathy. | ||
| And the worst part is, I can't understand how it is we don't have the ability to focus long enough to act. | ||
| We all know Flint is a nightmare. | ||
| We all know this. | ||
| We've all known this. | ||
| For forever. | ||
| There was a time where it was such a huge push to do something that the internet actually focused for a fucking week, Dan. | ||
| A whole week. | ||
| The internet focused for a week and it didn't do a goddamn thing. | ||
| What would it cost to fix the pipe infrastructure in Flint? | ||
| Like a couple billion dollars? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably something like that. | ||
| Probably more like 500 million. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Well, let's assume Alex Jones, like he likes to say, has a billion listeners. | ||
| They could fix Flint. | ||
| They could just all chip in five bucks. | ||
| Let's fix it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think that's overly simplistic. | ||
| Well, but even worse, that's the worst thing. | ||
| Like, all of these GoFundMes for surgeries and all this shit. | ||
| No! | ||
| We shouldn't be... | ||
| But this isn't a GoFundMe. | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| This is direct action being taken by... | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| If we had a billion listeners, you'd bet your ass that's what we'd do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| But we don't. | ||
| But it's wrong. | ||
| It's wrong to do that. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Like that is the whole point of having a federal government. | ||
| Free market. | ||
| That's the whole point. | ||
| Free market. | ||
| Like Chance the Rapper donated so much money to the Chicago... | ||
| To the Chicago public school system. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Unfortunately, that's just a way for them to be like, oh, well, see, it's all about donations. | ||
| It's not that we actually have to fund the fucking school system here. | ||
| That's one argument, but the other argument is you can't rely on these lofty principles of the government should be taking care of these things in an emergency. | ||
| And so if there is the possibility to, like Chance the Rapper giving money to these schools, it's an emergency. | ||
| And that's the right thing to do if you have the resources to do it. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| In a perfect world, I'm in love with Chance. | ||
| All those things would be taken care of in a perfect world, but because they're not... | ||
| It shouldn't need to be a perfect world to have functioning fucking public services. | ||
| Otherwise, why even have a federal government? | ||
| Perfect world is an expression. | ||
| And now you're sounding like Alex. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No, but that's... | ||
| But the whole point of us paying taxes is so we can go to schools. | ||
| So we have roads. | ||
| If we don't even have a functioning system in place to actually do any of this fucking shit... | ||
| Then we're... | ||
| What's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| All I'm saying is Texas should secede from the union. | ||
| But just... | ||
| Until we get this thing sorted. | ||
| You know how that works? | ||
| Yeah, you know how that works? | ||
| You know how states can just secede and then we're like, alright, come on back in. | ||
| Constitutional lawyers say that, I guess. | ||
| It's the Founding Fathers' plan. | ||
| Let's get back to this. | ||
| Get in, get out. | ||
| Alex finally gets around to something about Trump here on the August, October 11th show. | ||
| And it's a little surprising, but only in as much as it's not surprising at all. | ||
| There is an Associated Press article, an AFP article. | ||
| When you look at this, it's all like the same person wrote it. | ||
| Donald Trump says sometimes he carries a gun, AFP. | ||
| He does not. | ||
| The revelation is likely to spark a backlash from advocates calling for diet or gun control after three separate shootings. | ||
| As if Donald Trump worth $5 billion who has Mexican drug cartels saying they want to kill him. | ||
| El Chapo says, I'm going to get you. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| He goes out and gets a permit to carry a gun himself. | ||
| He'd be crazy if he didn't. | ||
| And then they act like that's alien and weird. | ||
| That's almost as bad as saying mother or father. | ||
| That's almost as bad as having tag. | ||
| That's almost as bad as not advertising come to America. | ||
| Everything's free. | ||
| What's your people's problem? | ||
| Don't you want higher taxes? | ||
| And you find out all these people pushing it like Peter Sutherland of the UN is basically tax-exempt. | ||
| Basically. | ||
| But they sit there with a straight face in all these articles going, whoa, controversial. | ||
| Did you see Donald Trump? | ||
| He brushed his teeth this morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, that's weird. | |
| He put his shoes on. | ||
| I'm going to tell you one crazier. | ||
| I saw him have a cup of coffee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Whoa! | ||
| And we all just go, yeah! | ||
| So he found out that Trump has a gun. | ||
| I mean, Trump is probably going to need to start carrying a gun again because he won't have a secret service. | ||
| I don't, yeah. | ||
| No, actually, I'm glad you brought that up because I think the scarier thing that's probably going to happen is militias. | ||
| Oh, you think militias are going to replace the Secret Service and start protecting Trump wherever he goes? | ||
| I'm not saying it's going to happen, but if I were watching a TV show and the development was crazy right-wing nutball president is in power, he loves the militias, he keeps saying positive things about them when he shouldn't be, and then in the next episode the Secret Service can't protect him anymore because they've run out of money. | ||
| I'm going to guess that episode ends on a dark note where the militias step in and we'll do it for free because we're keeping the oath. | ||
| Alright, that's a terrible prediction. | ||
| That's an Alex Jones-ian prediction right there. | ||
| That's a Leo Zagami-level prediction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awful. | |
| I'm not predicting it, I'm just saying that it... | ||
| I mean, it would be thematically appropriate. | ||
| Our world is becoming a dystopian fiction. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And so why wouldn't that happen? | ||
| It's more what I'm saying. | ||
| I mean, that would be so ridiculous. | ||
| That would be so... | ||
| You wouldn't help but laugh. | ||
| Like, it's a tragedy. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| It's a tragedy that that could happen, but at the same time, really? | ||
| You're gonna get a bunch of fucking weekend paintball players to follow you around? | ||
| I think you're underselling some of these militia types. | ||
| I don't think I am. | ||
| I think you need to look into these dudes a little bit. | ||
| There's a lot of people in that world who are a lot scarier than we're giving them credit for. | ||
| I mean, they're all scary. | ||
| There are weekend paintballers, as you're describing. | ||
| There are that contingent. | ||
| And then there are weekday rifle guys. | ||
| I don't know how to put it. | ||
| 24-7ers? | ||
| Be that as it may. | ||
| We don't know what's going to happen. | ||
| But in that clip, Alex Jones loves guns. | ||
| And so you would think maybe finding out that Donald Trump has a gun is going to be what pushes him over. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That actually does make sense. | ||
| Alex Jones loves guns so much that he says everything irrational in the world in defense of guns. | ||
| It would make perfect sense that this is the turning point. | ||
| Trump loves guns to the point where he has one himself. | ||
| Love this guy. | ||
| I can trust him. | ||
| What's interesting is he kind of does have a point. | ||
| At the very end, where he is talking about the media coverage of him as... | ||
| And I remember it being just as breathless, where it's like, anything he said, oh, look at this! | ||
| He's doing this to everything was news. | ||
| No, true, true. | ||
| Alex has a fair point in that. | ||
| The rest of what he's saying is stupid, but yeah. | ||
| It's all stupid, but... | ||
| That part is a fair point, and actually I don't have a clip of it, but in one of these episodes he does say that non-violent offenders shouldn't be in prison, and I think it's... | ||
| Our responsibility to give it up for him for that. | ||
| That's a good point as well. | ||
| We support that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| He comes at it from a slightly different perspective than we do. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| But at the same time, the end result is the same, and that's great. | ||
| So, do you think that he has signed up with Donald Trump now that he has a gun? | ||
| Well, just the fact that you're asking me that question says no. | ||
| You're trying to fucking wargames this thing. | ||
| If this was the moment where you were about to reveal that we've figured it all out, first off, I would assume that there would be balloons up above my head waiting to come down like in an election night. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And second, you would be giddy. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You would look at me with so much joy in your eyes, you would do the thing where you'd lean in. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And you'd be like, do you think? | ||
| Do you think it's this? | ||
| Do you think it's the gun thing? | ||
| And I'm going to go with no. | ||
| Well, let's see. | ||
| Actually, a caller calls in three minutes after this and asks him what he thinks about Donald Trump. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| James in New York City, you're on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Alex, how are you? | |
| James from New York City. | ||
| Welcome. | ||
| Oh, are you from New York? | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, great. | |
| Donald Trump, is he the real deal? | ||
| The other question is a New World Order, but if you can answer that first for me, it's Donald Trump. | ||
| I have to judge a tree by its fruits, and I think he's a politician. | ||
| I think he's very slick. | ||
| I like him as a person. | ||
| He's very Americana. | ||
| I don't completely trust him, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| The rhetoric he's putting out is what the rest of the Republicans wouldn't do that's popular, that's true. | ||
| So I support his message. | ||
| And I think he might be a big enough egomaniac, and I mean that in a positive way, that's what it takes to lead sometimes, that he may want to be president instead of just being a shill for Hillary. | ||
| I know he's been in deep with the Clintons, but I just have to give him the benefit of the doubt. | ||
| But regardless, he's now the tip of the spear for what I'd call the Tea Party. | ||
| And so they want to destroy him in name to try to hurt us. | ||
| We have to defend Trump while he's telling the truth, while letting him know we're watching him very closely. | ||
| So I think that's the balanced approach to this. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| I agree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a libertarian. | |
| This is so frustrating. | ||
| That's the same thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking... | |
| There's no progress. | ||
| Shit or get off the pot. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| Because we have to pretend there's progress being made when there's not. | ||
| There's a couple things we can take from that. | ||
| That was the first time he used the word Americana, right? | ||
| In terms of Trump that I've heard. | ||
| Yes, saying he's an Americana guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's kind of big. | ||
| And then also he says, I don't trust him, but that doesn't matter. | ||
| So he's phrasing the same things he said this whole time slightly differently. | ||
| So there is warming, but it's still the same message. | ||
| I like what he says. | ||
| I don't think I can trust him. | ||
| I don't think he's trustworthy, but like it or not, he's saying things that we have to defend. | ||
| Here's a question. | ||
| I suppose this would be a prediction for you to make. | ||
| Does it go from this tepid, half-bullshit support to the instant, full-throated 1776 2.0 shit? | ||
| You can't ask me that, because I know some things. | ||
| I can't answer any questions because I've listened to the next week or so of the show. | ||
| I know some things that come down the line. | ||
| I will say, he's not gone full-throated within that next week, that's for sure. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is really starting to fuck with my head. | ||
| I don't know what he's doing. | ||
| It's really, really weird. | ||
| It's super weird in how delayed this is. | ||
| This is the 15th episode of our investigation. | ||
| That can't be true. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| That can't be true. | ||
| This is just so much edging. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| It's driving me nuts, and I'm mad about it now. | ||
| I used to be like, this is interesting. | ||
| Now I want this to be over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want him to fucking support Trump already. | |
| Because I kind of get why. | ||
| I kind of understand why. | ||
| He's going to eventually. | ||
| Yeah, you think we have all the major... | ||
| We have all the major elements. | ||
| It's just when is the souffle done? | ||
| Or we have the logical elements where the real reason is going to be something out of left field. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| I had a six-hour dream and now Trump is 1776 2.0. | ||
| We've already been over that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be logical. | |
| That's entirely possible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's just... | ||
| The end result of this... | ||
| Based on the months that I've listened to in the lead-up, I know what's going to happen. | ||
| The end result behind the scenes is going to be someone lies to him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That is kind of the premise that we've sort of been operating off of, or at least the suspicion we've had for a long time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that it's Roger Stone lying. | ||
| It could be anybody at this point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't fucking know anymore. | ||
| I have no bearings. | ||
| Could be Melania gave him a handy J. On this episode... | ||
| She gave him a handy J on this episode? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| On this episode, four people have lied to him. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Every single guest has lied like crazy, and he's just been like, yep. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Nah, Alex has no intention of supporting Trump the same way I have no intention of becoming a duck person. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| So we have one more clip that's a parting shot of Alex feigning humility in a disgusting way. | ||
| I don't want to be the leader of the libertarian conservative movement because I'm so hardcore. | ||
| I have to. | ||
| I just cannot get up here and not tell you the truth. | ||
| Go fuck yourself. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I don't want to be the... | ||
| Look, I don't want to be the hero, Dan. | ||
| I don't want to be the hero because I'm so awesome. | ||
| I don't want to be the messiah. | ||
| I'm too messiah. | ||
| It's a burden to be this awesome. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| And I have to tell the truth all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I have to. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I can't not. | ||
| And when I'm wrong, listen, I call myself out for it. | ||
| And I was really just right. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I was so right that I was wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| No, even when I lie, I am telling the truth. | ||
| Everybody knows that two years later, even though they knew I was lying two years ago, it comes true. | ||
| And I was like, see, I told you I wasn't lying. | ||
| I never lie, even when I do lie. | ||
| Sneaky. | ||
| I'm lying all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'm a liar in a good way. | |
| You're a dirty fucking liar, but in a good way. | ||
| But in a good way. | ||
| It's a good thing. | ||
| So we've come to the end of our investigation, Chunk, and I'm furious. | ||
| I'm very subdued furious, but furious nonetheless. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Look, this episode's only like an hour and a half, and I apologize to our policy wonks out there who like long episodes, but to be fair, I'm thrilled, because it's a weeknight. | ||
| I think one of the issues, like, you know, if this episode had happened... | ||
| Two months ago, we would have really been able to tee off on all this stuff. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| There would have been so many more clips because we would have had all these narratives that we've already gone over. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And this is just like, just like you said, this is so much edging. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just like, fucking, fucking do it! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| We gotta figure some of this shit out. | ||
| Something's gotta break. | ||
| Something's gotta give. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The next investigation we're gonna record is over the weekend. | ||
| And I might try to jam-pack like two weeks into that or something. | ||
| Make up some fucking time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because you know what? | |
| I want to go to another investigation. | ||
| I want to find a new target to figure out. | ||
| Not this. | ||
| This same will-they-won't-they. | ||
| This isn't fucking Dr. House and Lisa Cuddy. | ||
| And yes, that is my will-they-won't-they reference. | ||
| Fine, fine. | ||
| A lot of people go with cheers, but... | ||
| That would make David Knight his Wilson. | ||
| From Castaway? | ||
| No, Wilson. | ||
| Dr. Wilson from House. | ||
| I never watched House. | ||
| Sean Patrick... | ||
| Flannery? | ||
| No. | ||
| We know that guy. | ||
| That's a Chicago comedian. | ||
| Very funny guy. | ||
| Yeah, great dude. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| He's in Dead Poets Society. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Sean Astin? | ||
| No, other Sean. | ||
| Sean Scott? | ||
| No, not Sean William Scott. | ||
| He was not in Dead Poets Society. | ||
| Shannon Tosserman? | ||
| Anyway, if you'd like more of the show. | ||
| If you'd like to find out more, you can go to our website at knowledgefight.com. | ||
| You can subscribe to us on iTunes. | ||
| We are also called Knowledge Fight on iTunes. | ||
| More than underscore. | ||
| Yeah, we didn't make a different... | ||
| Oh, and underscore on Twitter, not on iTunes. | ||
| Yeah, not on iTunes. | ||
| Yes, you can follow us there. | ||
| You can go to Facebook. | ||
| Check us out. | ||
| And, yeah, if you want a button and you're a policy wonk, send an email. | ||
| I'll get those sent out to you. | ||
| If you want a button and you're not a policy wonk, become a policy wonk. | ||
| Or just try your luck. | ||
| If you ask nicely, I might just send you one. | ||
| Knowledgefightatgmail.com is our email. | ||
| Listen, you may get a random-sized pad as well. | ||
| That's entirely possible. | ||
| And a Patriot anthem. | ||
| I'm just looking for a factory! | ||
| If you would like to support the show, like we've said in the past a bunch, knowledgefight.com, support the show button. | ||
| We really do appreciate it. | ||
| It makes a big difference. | ||
| And we are very grateful to all of you. | ||
| Also, again, we are doing a live show. | ||
| September 9th. | ||
| Time to be determined. | ||
| Probably 9. That was some good simultaneous talking. | ||
| Probably 9-9 at 9. September 9th at 9. That would make the most sense. | ||
| Triple 9's Upside Down Devil. | ||
| It's like a devil doing a handstand. | ||
| The Pope will also be showing up. | ||
| It's an omen. | ||
| The Black Pope will be there. | ||
| That's actually Jakari Jackson now. | ||
| Oh man, if we could get him. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| I gotta put out a feeler. | ||
| I bet Larry Nichols would call in. | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| We gotta end this episode now. | ||
| So you know one guy who's not gonna come. | ||
| Well, I don't know if he can even go anywhere. | ||
| I've only seen him in an attic. | ||
| Have you ever actually seen him move from that chair? | ||
| I've never seen his legs. | ||
| He could be a puppet, for all I know. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Alright, he could be a puppet. | ||
| Could be a creature from Sesame Street. | ||
| I'm starting to get an idea of who this guy is. | ||
| Could you give me, like, one more thing about him that probably pisses me off the most? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| No. | ||
| How do you like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Dude. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| If this fucking guy doesn't stop ruining this bit, I am... | ||
| Look. | ||
| That was a no. | ||
| That was a no. | ||
| Listen up. | ||
| That was an improv cardinal sin. | ||
| Not even like... | ||
| I gave you nothing to work with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you gave me nothing. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That was revenge for earlier in this episode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you know whose fault it is, though? | ||
| I know one guy. | ||
| I know who should go fuck himself. | ||
| This fucking Muppet? | ||
| Go fuck yourself, John Rappaport! | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
| Thanks for holding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello, Alex. | |
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |