► 00:00:00
Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.
► 00:00:01
Thanks for holding.
► 00:00:04
Hello, Alex.
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I'm a first-time caller.
► 00:00:05
I'm a huge fan.
► 00:00:06
I love your work.
► 00:00:07
I love you.
► 00:00:08
Hey, everybody.
► 00:00:08
Welcome back to Knowledge Fight.
► 00:00:09
I'm Dan.
► 00:00:10
I'm Jordan.
► 00:00:11
This is a show where I, who listen to too much InfoWars and Alex Jones, sit down with my friend...
► 00:00:17
Jordan, who has absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on with Alex Jones.
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And I try and explain what's going on in the wonderful, wonderful world of...
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A delightful Texan.
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He is occupied Texan.
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Occupied Texas.
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Occupied Texas.
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So today, like over the last week, Alex has been out of town and, you know, there hasn't been a whole lot of content coming from him.
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So we've had to dig deep and look into some of the special reports he's filed.
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From the road.
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And so I've collected a couple of those, plus a little special bonus at the end of the episode.
► 00:00:55
Alex Jones rambling, man.
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So, Jordan?
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Yes?
► 00:00:59
What do you think...
► 00:01:01
Oh, God.
► 00:01:03
Why would you even ask me a predictive question?
► 00:01:07
So far in all of our episodes, even the Y2K one, my predictive question was we would at least talk about Y2K.
► 00:01:13
And no, it was tanks.
► 00:01:15
It was fucking tanks.
► 00:01:16
Yeah, of course.
► 00:01:16
And there's a concentration camp in Austin.
► 00:01:18
Yeah, a concentration camp.
► 00:01:19
Okay, yeah.
► 00:01:20
So, okay.
► 00:01:21
So we're talking missive from the road.
► 00:01:23
Alrighty.
► 00:01:24
And when would we say is around the time of this?
► 00:01:27
You know, these reports were filed between like the 10th.
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And the 14th of January.
► 00:01:35
All right.
► 00:01:36
No, 9th and 13th.
► 00:01:38
9th and 13th.
► 00:01:39
Yeah.
► 00:01:39
So today is the 16th when we're recording this.
► 00:01:43
Yeah, we're recording over the weekend.
► 00:01:45
Yes.
► 00:01:46
Okay.
► 00:01:46
So I'm going to go with...
► 00:01:48
He's definitely not talking about the Russian allegations about Trump being compromised, right?
► 00:01:54
Well...
► 00:01:54
Okay.
► 00:01:55
He does bring that up later.
► 00:01:56
He does bring that up, but a little bit?
► 00:01:58
Yeah.
► 00:01:59
Okay.
► 00:02:00
Look, I wasn't going to ask you to just whole hog a guest.
► 00:02:04
Now this is a fun game for me.
► 00:02:06
Okay, okay.
► 00:02:06
I'll give you a ballpark to get in.
► 00:02:08
Okay.
► 00:02:09
It has to do with media personas.
► 00:02:11
Are we going back to Megyn Kelly?
► 00:02:13
No.
► 00:02:14
He's done with Megyn Kelly.
► 00:02:15
He's done with Megyn Kelly.
► 00:02:16
Actually, she does get name dropped.
► 00:02:18
God damn it.
► 00:02:19
Media personalities.
► 00:02:21
Male.
► 00:02:22
Male media personalities.
► 00:02:25
Nope, I got nothing.
► 00:02:26
It's Glenn Beck.
► 00:02:27
Oh, what?
► 00:02:28
I am so sick of looking at Glenn Beck.
► 00:02:31
I am so sick of hearing Glenn Beck.
► 00:02:35
I like Tucker Carlson.
► 00:02:37
I agree with half of that.
► 00:02:40
Which half?
► 00:02:41
I like Tucker Carlson.
► 00:02:43
You like Tucker Carlson?
► 00:02:44
No, Tucker Carlson has the big primetime slot on Fox News, and I think that signifies the fact that...
► 00:02:50
The coup against Fox News to put in even more globalist operatives like Bill O 'Reilly and Megyn Kelly failed.
► 00:02:58
But that said, I want nothing to do with Fox News, to be clear, because they they had some vice president once tell the New York Daily News that I asked for a job at Fox.
► 00:03:09
I didn't get one of that really makes me mad because they want to act like they're the Emerald Castle.
► 00:03:15
There were the yellow brick road ends and that I'm Toto and I want to go there.
► 00:03:20
No, I don't.
► 00:03:21
Did Toto want to go to the Emerald Castle?
► 00:03:27
I feel like Toto didn't have as much agency in that story as he thinks Toto did.
► 00:03:32
He's talking about the band.
► 00:03:36
But he's not a big fan of Africa, I don't think.
► 00:03:38
I want to be clear.
► 00:03:39
I respect the shit out of this, and I do believe what he's saying.
► 00:03:42
I disagree.
► 00:03:42
I don't believe that at all.
► 00:03:44
You don't believe that he doesn't want to be on Fox?
► 00:03:46
No.
► 00:03:46
I believe that that VP was, if not talking about Alex Jones himself, some person in the Alex Jones camp made an inquiry with the VP to be like...
► 00:03:59
Hey, Alex would do...
► 00:04:01
I 100% believe that.
► 00:04:02
And maybe Alex...
► 00:04:04
I guarantee that's true because Alex just had the exact same tone of voice that a fucking asshole dude is like, you know, I didn't want to fuck that girl anyways.
► 00:04:13
I don't know why she told me that she wanted to...
► 00:04:15
You know, she came to me and I don't want to do it.
► 00:04:19
Yeah, but you're ugly, dude.
► 00:04:20
Yeah, yeah.
► 00:04:21
No, he's that fucking asshole.
► 00:04:22
But from all of my listening to him, he's been wildly consistent in this aspect.
► 00:04:29
There's a part of me that kind of believes him, that he didn't want a job at Fox News and someone over there shit on him.
► 00:04:36
I kind of believe him on this one.
► 00:04:39
I'm gonna disagree.
► 00:04:40
Your perspective is valid.
► 00:04:43
I'm gonna...
► 00:04:44
And you're right, you have way more context for that.
► 00:04:49
But just going on tone, because those guys sound exactly the same.
► 00:04:54
Every one of those guys says the same shit.
► 00:04:59
voice like it's all the same thing and he had every little aspect of that okay like that is the that is the first time where i've actively thought he wasn't uh just like a conspiracy theory deceiving douchebag yeah i genuinely hate him with all my heart after hearing him say that well fair enough let's see let's hear him out let's give him another fair day in court okay I have my own audience.
► 00:05:23
It's huge.
► 00:05:25
Just like Drudge has his own audience.
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I'm trying to build something outside of them.
► 00:05:29
We've done it.
► 00:05:30
We've been successful.
► 00:05:31
You go to a Donald Trump rally, a third of the shirts are Infowars.com and Hillary for prison shirts.
► 00:05:37
They're not Fox News shirts, okay?
► 00:05:39
I bet that's true.
► 00:05:40
Sure, that part's not bullshit.
► 00:05:42
But he's talking about how his audience is huge.
► 00:05:44
And I had to do a little bit of research on this.
► 00:05:47
Was he also implying that his dick was the same size as his audience?
► 00:05:50
I think that there's a parallel.
► 00:05:52
There's a wild speculation there.
► 00:05:55
So I looked into...
► 00:05:57
Does he make Lock Hillary Up underwear?
► 00:06:00
Because that would be some solid advertising.
► 00:06:04
Or like frilly handcuffs.
► 00:06:07
Sex play handcuffs.
► 00:06:09
That would probably piss off his conservative base.
► 00:06:11
That would be fucking great.
► 00:06:13
So I had to do some digging and I looked into his...
► 00:06:15
That would be the ultimate white elephant ironic gift is a lock Hillary up frilly fuck cuffs.
► 00:06:22
God, I'm so mad Christmas is already over.
► 00:06:25
So I did some research.
► 00:06:27
Our merch is going to be incredible.
► 00:06:29
We gotta get like a store together.
► 00:06:32
Fuck.
► 00:06:33
We've got to put together Alex Jones digital drop boxes.
► 00:06:37
Oh, yeah.
► 00:06:38
Lock Hillary up frilly handcuffs.
► 00:06:40
Right.
► 00:06:40
God damn it, we're going to be rich.
► 00:06:41
We're going to crush it.
► 00:06:43
So I looked into...
► 00:06:45
Alex talks about how huge his audience is, and we've already gone over that he has like maybe about...
► 00:06:50
Three, four hundred thousand.
► 00:06:51
Regular listeners or regular clickers.
► 00:06:54
Clickers to the website.
► 00:06:55
Yes.
► 00:06:56
But he also talks about all the stations that he's on.
► 00:06:58
He talks about the terrestrial broadcasts that he's on.
► 00:07:01
So I did a little bit of research into that.
► 00:07:03
Do you mean like syndicated?
► 00:07:04
Yes.
► 00:07:05
Okay.
► 00:07:05
And I found that there was a listing from the Genesis Communications Network.
► 00:07:09
They had a listing of the 83 stations that Alex Jones has broadcast on daily, and he's broadcast on Sundays alone on 35 stations.
► 00:07:18
But most of that is overlap.
► 00:07:21
Like, the Sunday broadcasts overlap with the 83. It's not 100%, but there's a lot of it.
► 00:07:26
Gotcha.
► 00:07:27
So, I was looking at that, and I was like, that's not a lot.
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But it's a lot if you're me.
► 00:07:33
That's true.
► 00:07:34
But if you're Alex Jones, that's not that many.
► 00:07:36
That's not a lot.
► 00:07:36
So I wanted to look into it, get some comparisons.
► 00:07:39
Hannity has at least 424 stations.
► 00:07:42
Glenn Beck has 327.
► 00:07:44
Michael Savage has 223 stations nationally.
► 00:07:48
Rush has 531.
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So I was like, oh, he's at the bottom of that list.
► 00:07:53
But then I started to look a little bit further.
► 00:07:55
Oh, God, yes.
► 00:07:56
And I was like, what are these stations?
► 00:07:58
Let me list off a couple of these stations that he's syndicated on.
► 00:08:01
Oh, please.
► 00:08:03
WSVG, 790 AM out of Mount Jackson, Virginia.
► 00:08:08
Population of 2,000.
► 00:08:09
Okay.
► 00:08:11
WLSC, 1240 AM out of Loris, South Carolina.
► 00:08:16
Population of 2,000.
► 00:08:17
He has two stations that broadcast him in Kane, Pennsylvania.
► 00:08:21
Population of 3,500 people.
► 00:08:24
Two stations in Kane, Pennsylvania.
► 00:08:28
WYPV 106.3 FM out of Onaway, Michigan.
► 00:08:32
Population of 850.
► 00:08:35
I did some digging.
► 00:08:37
Did some math.
► 00:08:38
36 out of the 83 stations, that's 43% of the markets, are not even ranked.
► 00:08:45
Wow.
► 00:08:47
So that's 43% are below the threshold where they would even make the consideration of rankings.
► 00:08:52
Right.
► 00:08:52
19 out of the 83, that's 22%, are in the top 100 markets.
► 00:08:58
That's...
► 00:08:59
okay.
► 00:09:00
22% in the top 100.
► 00:09:03
Yeah, 19. But I should say that most of them skewed towards the lower end of the top 100.
► 00:09:08
Well, I wasn't expecting him to go from 1,000 to, oh, and also the number one network.
► 00:09:16
Not the number one network, but he is in New York.
► 00:09:18
There is a market in New York.
► 00:09:19
He has a Chicago affiliate, and that's the number three in the nation.
► 00:09:23
Okay.
► 00:09:23
Only 26 out of the 83, including that 19 in the top 100.
► 00:09:29
To bring them together to a total of 31% are in the top 150 markets.
► 00:09:34
Okay.
► 00:09:34
So if you keep going down, you see that a lot of these are bad markets.
► 00:09:38
Now, before I say anything about that...
► 00:09:42
Yeah.
► 00:09:42
Because we have maybe 100 listeners.
► 00:09:44
Assume I know zero about radio.
► 00:09:47
Sure.
► 00:09:47
If he's in that 2000 market, that city of 2000, does that just mean that only those people can...
► 00:09:57
Get the signal, or?
► 00:09:58
The wattage of the stations varies.
► 00:10:01
Right.
► 00:10:02
Well, no, I kind of assumed that, but I mean, like, if we're talking about a city of 2,000, I'm assuming it's not right next to a city of 300,000.
► 00:10:11
It's kind of out there in the docks, the boonies.
► 00:10:15
You could probably still pick up the station for a number of miles outside of town.
► 00:10:19
For a few miles out, but really we're looking at a small percentage of those 2,000 people are actually listening.
► 00:10:25
In theory.
► 00:10:26
In theory.
► 00:10:26
Or maybe, well, it's 2,000 people.
► 00:10:29
But even if it's all 2,000 of them, that's not that great.
► 00:10:31
No.
► 00:10:32
And I'm saying that not because I think that's a shitty audience.
► 00:10:35
I would love to have that audience.
► 00:10:36
No, of course.
► 00:10:37
But I say it because he's Alex Jones and he brags about his fucking audience all the time.
► 00:10:41
And if you look at it, it's compiled, it's cobbled with garbage.
► 00:10:44
Yeah.
► 00:10:45
So, ballpark it.
► 00:10:46
Ballpark it.
► 00:10:47
We've got certain numbers.
► 00:10:49
83 stations.
► 00:10:50
No, no, no.
► 00:10:50
I mean, like, number of listeners.
► 00:10:52
Oh.
► 00:10:52
So, 83, we got super small markets for most of them.
► 00:10:57
Most people probably would listen online.
► 00:11:00
But still, if you're only getting like 300,000 hits to your website, let's say he has a total consistent audience of maybe like 200,000 people.
► 00:11:10
I would actually go lower.
► 00:11:12
I was being pretty generous.
► 00:11:13
Yeah, I was going to say, that's super generous.
► 00:11:15
Because we're using the word consistent, too.
► 00:11:18
It's a way different story.
► 00:11:21
Clicking on a website versus actually listening to his radio show.
► 00:11:24
And consistently.
► 00:11:25
Yeah.
► 00:11:25
There's also a difference between listening and just checking in.
► 00:11:27
You know what?
► 00:11:28
I would actually say his audience is closer to 60,000, and most of those are long road truckers.
► 00:11:35
That's entirely possible.
► 00:11:36
My heart, especially...
► 00:11:39
You're a heart of hearts.
► 00:11:40
You can see the numbers on YouTube.
► 00:11:41
Okay.
► 00:11:41
I think that he's probably...
► 00:11:43
If you include YouTube in there, too, I think he has a bigger audience.
► 00:11:46
Okay.
► 00:11:47
But if you're talking about, like...
► 00:11:48
I mean, it's...
► 00:11:49
Monetizing YouTube is incredibly difficult, and the amount that you get is not very high.
► 00:11:54
So if you have like 20,000 hits on a video, you're not making much off that.
► 00:11:57
No.
► 00:11:59
Is that what his average kind of videos are?
► 00:12:01
Some of them are pretty high.
► 00:12:02
It depends on how salacious the topic is.
► 00:12:04
Okay.
► 00:12:05
Does he live stream it as well on YouTube, or do they pick the clips out and then put them up later?
► 00:12:10
He does the latter, but also the prior.
► 00:12:13
Okay.
► 00:12:13
But I have watched it live a couple times, and it's like...
► 00:12:17
600 people are watching.
► 00:12:18
So not many people are streaming it live on YouTube.
► 00:12:21
Who has the fucking attention span to listen for three hours?
► 00:12:24
I do, and I'm not doing anything at work.
► 00:12:26
Exactly!
► 00:12:27
If you've got nothing else going on, or if you are a trucker.
► 00:12:32
Or if you're just on a long road trip, you might listen to that whole thing.
► 00:12:35
So now, I agree with you.
► 00:12:37
So that's also kind of like the Conan show, really.
► 00:12:41
What do you mean by that?
► 00:12:42
I mean, who's watching the Conan show from...
► 00:12:46
You know, for the whole hour and a half.
► 00:12:48
People who want to.
► 00:12:49
Right, but most of us are watching the five-minute clips online.
► 00:12:53
That's why it's impossible to get ratings.
► 00:12:55
Yeah, exactly.
► 00:12:57
So I also did some research.
► 00:12:59
I'm like, 83 Station seems fucking low.
► 00:13:01
What's going on there?
► 00:13:03
And I was able to dig up his contract that he gives to affiliates.
► 00:13:08
And I know it's real because it's hosted on Infowars.com.
► 00:13:13
It is publicly available.
► 00:13:15
Wow!
► 00:13:16
That seems like a bad idea.
► 00:13:17
Well, it certainly gave me more information than they want me to know.
► 00:13:21
It turns out that InfoWars itself is owned by a parent company called Free Speech Systems LLC.
► 00:13:29
Okay?
► 00:13:30
Okay.
► 00:13:30
And they're the ones...
► 00:13:32
FSS LLC.
► 00:13:33
Yes.
► 00:13:34
That's actually what it says in the contract.
► 00:13:35
Oh, good!
► 00:13:36
So, the...
► 00:13:38
Which sounds like TLC added a lot more members.
► 00:13:41
And allowed for scrubs.
► 00:13:48
So, the first thing that I noticed about this contract was a very clear specification that broadcasting InfoWars as an affiliate is free.
► 00:13:59
They don't charge you anything.
► 00:14:00
And I quote, The Alex Jones Show, Overdrive, and InfoWars Nightly News are free to air.
► 00:14:06
There is no cost for running the program, no affiliate fees.
► 00:14:10
That's in the contract.
► 00:14:12
Wow.
► 00:14:13
Now here's what they ask.
► 00:14:14
Free Speech Systems reserves the usage of three minutes per broadcast hour for network promotional advertiser space.
► 00:14:23
The broadcaster will have usage of the remainder of the scheduled advertising per program.
► 00:14:27
Okay, so if you run his show, then the network you're on can only advertise the network for three minutes.
► 00:14:35
No.
► 00:14:36
You got it flipped.
► 00:14:37
Oh, I got it backwards.
► 00:14:38
Yes.
► 00:14:38
Okay.
► 00:14:39
So let's say I have a radio station.
► 00:14:41
Right.
► 00:14:41
And I want to broadcast Alex Jones.
► 00:14:43
Yes.
► 00:14:44
There's 15 minutes of commercials per hour.
► 00:14:46
I get 12, he gets 3. Okay.
► 00:14:49
That is not a great contract.
► 00:14:52
That's a bad contract, right?
► 00:14:53
Yeah.
► 00:14:54
That's a little desperate.
► 00:14:55
That's really sad.
► 00:14:56
And only 83 stations have thought to take him up on this free programming.
► 00:15:02
It seems like it's a...
► 00:15:04
That's insane.
► 00:15:05
Well...
► 00:15:07
How toxic is the stuff he's saying that people don't want to put him on their air?
► 00:15:11
I mean, based on what we've heard, pretty goddamn toxic.
► 00:15:14
Yeah.
► 00:15:14
Anyway, I find this fascinating, and I apologize we've only had one clip so far, but it seems...
► 00:15:20
And all of this is very publicly available.
► 00:15:23
If you just search for Infowars affiliate contract, it'll come up on Google.
► 00:15:28
Which, I mean, that...
► 00:15:30
That really screws up their negotiating system.
► 00:15:33
We don't want anything.
► 00:15:34
Yeah, exactly.
► 00:15:35
Just let us sell our pills for three minutes.
► 00:15:37
If you are coming from that low of a negotiating point, that's real trouble right there.
► 00:15:42
But I mean, it is like, okay, you have a network, a broadcast, you have an affiliate that you have...
► 00:15:49
Maybe 50,000 people could listen to your station.
► 00:15:52
That's 50,000 people that might hear our three minutes of weird pill commercials.
► 00:15:57
So that's worth it to us.
► 00:15:58
We're doing this anyway.
► 00:16:01
Which is fucked up.
► 00:16:03
That's weird.
► 00:16:04
That's all so weird.
► 00:16:07
Which leads me to believe that his...
► 00:16:08
There's a backer there, right?
► 00:16:11
There is a larger...
► 00:16:13
We see no evidence of it.
► 00:16:14
Are we...
► 00:16:15
Are we now descending into conspiracy theory territory?
► 00:16:18
You are.
► 00:16:18
Now I'm thinking there's an anti-George Soros who's trying to combat the globalists.
► 00:16:23
What's happening to me?
► 00:16:24
Yeah, I know.
► 00:16:25
What are you doing to me?
► 00:16:26
It's fucked up.
► 00:16:27
So here's the next clip in his screed on Glenn Beck.
► 00:16:33
We're the future.
► 00:16:34
And I don't say this meanly, but your future is selling more catheters and more diabetic equipment because that's all you've got to a very old audience.
► 00:16:43
Nothing against them.
► 00:16:44
But the point is, you're the past, we're the future.
► 00:16:48
So that's his next stab at Fox News in general.
► 00:16:55
That is the most self-inflicted attack that you can possibly make.
► 00:17:04
Like, he's basically saying to them, like, hey, you guys are only selling catheters.
► 00:17:10
I'm selling boner pills?
► 00:17:12
And prostate medication.
► 00:17:14
Yeah, so he's...
► 00:17:15
No, I know.
► 00:17:16
It's insane.
► 00:17:17
That is insane.
► 00:17:18
That's like when you're a bad...
► 00:17:19
Like, I don't know.
► 00:17:20
Like, you've robbed a bank, and you have a friend who also robbed a bank, and you're like, you're a fucking bank robber.
► 00:17:25
Yeah, yeah.
► 00:17:26
But I did some more research.
► 00:17:28
Oh, God.
► 00:17:29
Thank God you do research.
► 00:17:30
So, I mentioned this site before, Quantcast.
► 00:17:34
You've heard of Quantcast?
► 00:17:36
Yes, I remember it from our pilot episode.
► 00:17:38
Ladies and gentlemen, it is episode one.
► 00:17:40
They compile statistics for advertising purposes on websites.
► 00:17:44
And according to Quantcast, 53% of Alex Jones'audience is over the age of 45, and 78% are over 35. Only 6% of his audience is between the ages of 18. So not a lot.
► 00:18:03
53% is over 45. That's not a young audience.
► 00:18:06
45 isn't very old.
► 00:18:09
Is there anybody below 18?
► 00:18:10
It's 6%.
► 00:18:11
6% below 18?
► 00:18:13
Which is unadvisable.
► 00:18:14
That is...
► 00:18:15
That's cruel.
► 00:18:17
It's inappropriate.
► 00:18:17
Why would you do that?
► 00:18:18
Child abuse.
► 00:18:19
That is child abuse.
► 00:18:21
I also found InfoWars press release that they put out in order to try and find more advertisers.
► 00:18:27
Okay.
► 00:18:27
Which you can also find by Googling it.
► 00:18:29
It's hosted on InfoWars.com.
► 00:18:31
It's publicly available.
► 00:18:32
It's insane that they just leave this stuff up on their website without blocking it.
► 00:18:36
Yeah, they're putting their business out there.
► 00:18:37
That's a bad way to negotiate.
► 00:18:39
It's a PDF of, like, a slick presentation, too.
► 00:18:42
In that PDF, they claim...
► 00:18:44
That's like if Snowden didn't steal the NSA docs.
► 00:18:46
He just Googled, hey, what is NSA doing today?
► 00:18:49
And they just all showed up.
► 00:18:52
And it's all super usable.
► 00:18:53
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:18:54
They gave you a whole, like, oh, and there's a tutorial on how to look through there.
► 00:18:59
Here's the breakdown.
► 00:19:00
What is the NSA?
► 00:19:01
Great, thanks for the info.
► 00:19:03
In that advertising report, they claim that his audience is 43% over the age of 50, with an additional 35% between the ages of 35 and 49. If you look at the Quantcast data, that can match up.
► 00:19:19
Because what they did is change the threshold ages.
► 00:19:21
Yeah.
► 00:19:22
And even then, it's still well within the margin of error for...
► 00:19:26
Yeah.
► 00:19:26
So based on that...
► 00:19:27
The overall trend is exactly the same.
► 00:19:29
Based on what independent polling and his own press release say, we can pretty much rely on those as fairly accurate numbers.
► 00:19:36
Yeah.
► 00:19:37
Even if you look at that, fucking 43% is over 50. That's an old fucking audience.
► 00:19:46
Now, Fox News is also the same.
► 00:19:50
It's worse.
► 00:19:50
It's worse.
► 00:19:51
Yeah, they're even older, aren't they?
► 00:19:53
The median age is 63. So half of the audience is over 63. But still, 50 is not that...
► 00:20:00
I mean, it's 13 years, but it's not a far cry.
► 00:20:02
What he's trying to say is, we are the next generation that will grow up.
► 00:20:06
The next generation of old people.
► 00:20:07
Right, I guess that's the only way to...
► 00:20:09
Here's the part where it's good that I found out earlier that...
► 00:20:13
Free Speech Systems owns InfoWars.
► 00:20:16
Ooh!
► 00:20:17
Because I did a little more digging.
► 00:20:18
And I found a press release.
► 00:20:21
Conspiracy theory!
► 00:20:22
I found an advertising pitch from Free Speech Systems LLC that is for InfoWars.
► 00:20:30
I found their business filing, and it's an Austin-based company, and the only contact on it is Infowars.net.
► 00:20:38
They made all the other stuff private.
► 00:20:41
I'm sure Alex Jones owns it.
► 00:20:42
Guys, you can't see this right now, but while Friesen is looking at me, my eyes are twinkling with excitement.
► 00:20:48
So they put out this press packet trying to sell advertising on Infowars.com, on the website, as opposed to on the radio broadcast.
► 00:20:59
This one has a slightly different skew on what the audience is.
► 00:21:02
This one claims that the audience is 30% over the age of 50 and 67% over the age of 35. In terms of selling radio advertising, he's being accurate to statistics, the Quantcast and his other PDF numbers, because the radio audience generally is an older audience.
► 00:21:22
Generally, people who listen to radio are older.
► 00:21:24
I haven't listened to radio in years.
► 00:21:25
When you sell web ads, you want to skew younger.
► 00:21:27
So you pretend that your audience is much younger than what it actually is.
► 00:21:31
And they're not doing a great job of pretending.
► 00:21:32
Bada bing, you have completely conflicting numbers.
► 00:21:36
Also, they list three ways that you can buy ads on the website.
► 00:21:40
Now, here's where I'm starting to get, like, this is a fucking scam kind of stuff.
► 00:21:43
Three ways.
► 00:21:44
Yeah.
► 00:21:44
The first way you can do it is banner ads.
► 00:21:46
There's standard stuff on the blog.
► 00:21:47
Yeah, everybody does banner ads.
► 00:21:49
That's normal.
► 00:21:50
If you go, you can find this also super easily.
► 00:21:52
It's publicly available.
► 00:21:53
It's also hosted on their website.
► 00:21:55
I mean, you can just go to Infowars and click on one of their banner ads, right?
► 00:21:58
Here's the fucked up thing.
► 00:21:59
Oh, no!
► 00:22:00
You can't click on their banner ads?
► 00:22:01
No.
► 00:22:02
We'll get to what's fucked up.
► 00:22:03
Okay.
► 00:22:03
But, I mean, that's how blogs operate.
► 00:22:06
And they show the placement of where the ads would be.
► 00:22:09
You want to be like, you can get A, B, C, or D. Second option is a banner that goes at the top of the website that looks like breaking news.
► 00:22:20
No!
► 00:22:22
I'm assuming that they disclose there's a conflict of interest there, right?
► 00:22:26
Never.
► 00:22:26
They don't?
► 00:22:27
I also just went to Infowars.com today, and there is no banner ad or anything like that, so that's not in play right now.
► 00:22:34
That's not in play.
► 00:22:35
You're really pushing it in play.
► 00:22:36
I'm trying.
► 00:22:39
Is what I think is really fucked up.
► 00:22:42
And they're super clear about it being fucked up.
► 00:22:45
The third way is called text links.
► 00:22:48
And I'm just going to read a quote.
► 00:22:50
Oh, please.
► 00:22:51
From their advertising materials.
► 00:22:53
These are disguised as news headlines near the top of the breaking news.
► 00:22:57
They even in the thing they say disguised?
► 00:23:00
Disguised.
► 00:23:01
They even they...
► 00:23:02
To admit that they're lying!
► 00:23:03
Verbatim.
► 00:23:04
That's crazy!
► 00:23:05
Yes, I'm not paraphrasing at all.
► 00:23:07
They literally say, word for word, we will lie to our viewers.
► 00:23:14
Awesome.
► 00:23:16
Disguised as news headlines at the top of the Breaking News or Prison Planet sections and guaranteed to get massive immediate hits.
► 00:23:23
Your text ad can say anything you like and varies in pricing for characters.
► 00:23:27
That is a used car sales pitch right there.
► 00:23:30
We are guaranteed to get immediate hits, ladies and gentlemen.
► 00:23:34
Where would you like to go?
► 00:23:36
We are selling Hyundai's.
► 00:23:38
We are selling, like, what?
► 00:23:39
So now I went to the website and I looked and I couldn't find any banner ads on it.
► 00:23:43
No text ones either?
► 00:23:45
Maybe.
► 00:23:46
Maybe.
► 00:23:46
Oh, that's right!
► 00:23:47
They're disguised.
► 00:23:47
They're disguised!
► 00:23:48
Who knows?
► 00:23:49
Holy cow.
► 00:23:50
At this point, if you know that that's an advertising strategy they're literally using, everything is suspect.
► 00:23:56
Yeah.
► 00:23:56
You don't know what any of these headlines are, really.
► 00:23:59
Which fits into their whole thing.
► 00:24:02
Talk shit about BuzzFeed all you want.
► 00:24:04
They do a lot of dumb shit, but every time there's something that's paid for, it's huge banner.
► 00:24:10
Sponsored content.
► 00:24:11
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:24:11
Because otherwise, you're being a duplicitous asshole.
► 00:24:14
Yeah.
► 00:24:15
Well, and even if BuzzFeed isn't doing that, they're not advertising that they're disguising it for you.
► 00:24:20
Maybe there are.
► 00:24:21
I've never seen their sales pitches.
► 00:24:22
Maybe there is.
► 00:24:23
Because that does sound like a sleazy ad salesperson.
► 00:24:27
Yeah, and it's not outside the realm of possibility that other websites are doing that.
► 00:24:32
Yeah.
► 00:24:33
I could definitely see many disreputable...
► 00:24:36
Although, the moment you start down that path, nothing is trustworthy.
► 00:24:40
Yeah.
► 00:24:41
Like, the moment you know that they are willing to do that and then just apply that to even some percentage of mainstream stuff, it's like, well, if these guys can't...
► 00:24:50
Like, it's not...
► 00:24:51
And they're not hiding it.
► 00:24:53
Maybe they're just doing a worse job of hiding how they're...
► 00:24:56
Maybe.
► 00:24:56
I mean, they should not have these things be public.
► 00:24:59
They should really not!
► 00:25:00
It's really easy to set a page to private.
► 00:25:02
But even then, it does seem like their viewers would not give a shit.
► 00:25:08
Or be like, it's the globalist trying to paint him in a bad light.
► 00:25:12
That is not...
► 00:25:13
This is fake news.
► 00:25:15
That's unacceptable.
► 00:25:16
Well, I mean, everyone...
► 00:25:17
Although that is the world we live in now, where if you disagree with something, it's fake news.
► 00:25:21
Fake news!
► 00:25:22
Anyway, that's some of the summation of the research that I've done.
► 00:25:26
There's one more thing I found, because he hates all these media people, and he talks about how he's so much better than them, so I went to Alexa.
► 00:25:32
Well, everything that they accuse him of doing is what they're doing.
► 00:25:35
Right.
► 00:25:36
So I went to Alexa.
► 00:25:37
Which is another advertising tool for websites.
► 00:25:41
Does it say nice things about you?
► 00:25:42
It doesn't.
► 00:25:43
That's another Alexa.
► 00:25:44
But this is a website that gives you a rank.
► 00:25:47
It ranks all the websites in the world in terms of traffic.
► 00:25:49
So most of the top ones are Google.
► 00:25:51
Different countries Googles, like google.ca and all that stuff.
► 00:25:56
Yeah, co.uk.
► 00:25:57
So AlexJonesInfowars.com, their Alexa rank is 1,349, which is impressive.
► 00:26:04
That's not terrible.
► 00:26:05
No, that's actually really good.
► 00:26:07
It's crazy good.
► 00:26:08
My AngelFire website is not in the top thousand.
► 00:26:11
I'll tell you that right now.
► 00:26:12
Nothing I've ever done is in the top million.
► 00:26:16
So, I mean, I'm not shitting on him for what he's achieved, but when he talks about how huge his audience is, He does bring up Alexa.
► 00:26:25
He brings up Quantcast and Alexa and talks about his stats.
► 00:26:29
He's 1349.
► 00:26:31
I'm going to give you a few websites and tell you where they are.
► 00:26:34
Oh, no.
► 00:26:34
You're going to make Alex Jones feel sad.
► 00:26:37
BuzzFeed.
► 00:26:38
What do you think it is?
► 00:26:40
Top 100.
► 00:26:41
This is a good guessing game.
► 00:26:42
Top 50. Nope.
► 00:26:44
194.
► 00:26:45
194?
► 00:26:46
CNN.
► 00:26:48
I would actually say they're lower.
► 00:26:50
Fake news.
► 00:26:51
Fake news, yeah.
► 00:26:52
Let's call him 300.
► 00:26:54
Number 96. BBC.
► 00:26:56
Now I'm going the opposite direction.
► 00:26:57
I'm getting worse at this.
► 00:26:58
BBC.
► 00:26:59
Oh, that's a good question.
► 00:27:00
I'm so America-centric.
► 00:27:03
And this is worldwide, of course.
► 00:27:05
Yeah.
► 00:27:06
Let's go with 250.
► 00:27:08
73. Jesus, now you're going higher as we go along.
► 00:27:12
Not entirely.
► 00:27:14
I figured out the game.
► 00:27:15
Not entirely.
► 00:27:15
New York Times.
► 00:27:18
45. 85. Oh, goddammit.
► 00:27:20
The Guardian.
► 00:27:21
I love The Guardian.
► 00:27:23
So let's go with...
► 00:27:25
Two.
► 00:27:25
Two?
► 00:27:26
No, it's not.
► 00:27:27
The second most...
► 00:27:29
Let's go with 70. 106.
► 00:27:32
Okay.
► 00:27:33
Xhamster.com.
► 00:27:34
It's a porn tube.
► 00:27:35
Oh.
► 00:27:36
Oh, I know.
► 00:27:38
That's for the listeners.
► 00:27:39
That's for the listeners.
► 00:27:40
You don't need to ask.
► 00:27:42
Okay.
► 00:27:43
Let's call that...
► 00:27:44
All the porn has got to be in the top 40, right?
► 00:27:47
No.
► 00:27:47
No?
► 00:27:48
No, no, no.
► 00:27:48
That's excessive.
► 00:27:49
Not all the porn.
► 00:27:50
Yeah.
► 00:27:51
Where would...
► 00:27:52
Okay, let's call Pornhub top 30, right?
► 00:27:56
Pornhub is 51. Pornhub is 51. Ex-Hamster is not as popular, so I'll go 170.
► 00:28:02
89. Jesus Christ.
► 00:28:03
Huffington Post.
► 00:28:05
That one can't be as big.
► 00:28:08
Let's call it 180.
► 00:28:09
235.
► 00:28:10
Okay.
► 00:28:11
Daily Mail.
► 00:28:12
I'm 50 off on literally every one of these.
► 00:28:15
Daily Mail?
► 00:28:17
I would say 280.
► 00:28:19
164.
► 00:28:20
Jesus, people read the Daily Mail that much?
► 00:28:22
Washington Post.
► 00:28:25
122.
► 00:28:28
Because I was going to guess in the 70s.
► 00:28:30
I'm 50 off every time.
► 00:28:31
A weird crowdsourced news site called Blasting News.
► 00:28:36
12. 145.
► 00:28:39
I have never heard of Blasting News before.
► 00:28:42
It must be a huge foreign thing.
► 00:28:44
I have no idea.
► 00:28:44
It has to be, yeah.
► 00:28:45
Well, like, WhatsApp is the messenger app that everybody uses.
► 00:28:50
Yeah, everybody but America uses WhatsApp.
► 00:28:53
I don't have the number on it, but I saw it on the list.
► 00:28:55
It's way up there.
► 00:28:56
So, Alex Jones is way behind all of those.
► 00:28:59
Also, his compatriot, the Drudge Report.
► 00:29:03
That's gotta be way up there, right?
► 00:29:04
You would think.
► 00:29:05
No, it's not?
► 00:29:07
Well, it's 629.
► 00:29:08
It's only 629?
► 00:29:10
But to be fair, the 629th most popular website in the world is pretty crazy.
► 00:29:15
No, that is crazy, but in the world that I live in of conservatives, I guess it's just because their voice is so much louder.
► 00:29:24
And so different.
► 00:29:25
It seems that they should be...
► 00:29:27
It seems that they should be so much higher.
► 00:29:29
Well, and they act like they're so much higher.
► 00:29:31
Yeah, well, that's true.
► 00:29:31
So when you take this, it's like, I'm so much more popular than CNN fake news.
► 00:29:36
It's like, they're in the top 100, you're 1349.
► 00:29:39
So, like, it is a big difference between those two.
► 00:29:42
But he's not...
► 00:29:43
He's speaking to his audience.
► 00:29:45
They're passionate, too.
► 00:29:46
They are passionate.
► 00:29:47
They're probably more passionate than most CNN readers.
► 00:29:49
I would say they're probably more passionate than all CNN readers.
► 00:29:52
What they make up for...
► 00:29:53
Because that's fake news.
► 00:29:54
Anyway, here's where he gets to actually talking about Glenn Beck.
► 00:29:57
And now we're back to the clips.
► 00:29:58
My research is done, but I just needed to get all that out.
► 00:30:00
Okay.
► 00:30:01
It's like, oh my gosh, Glenn Beck says, you know, half the nation is upset about Trump.
► 00:30:06
And he hopes that...
► 00:30:08
Trump has a good presidency and he can't wait to see how things go.
► 00:30:11
This is so sick on many levels.
► 00:30:14
It's like saying, Glenn Beck said that grass is green and puppy dogs have fur and bark and little pink tongues.
► 00:30:24
Of course, half the country or 47% is brainwashed and hates Trump.
► 00:30:29
My gosh, tell me something I didn't know.
► 00:30:31
And then again, what is this failure who's made these apology tours all over ABC, CBS, NBC, apologizing for conservatives, apologizing for gun owners, apologizing for Donald Trump.
► 00:30:44
Trying to sabotage this country, leading the Never Trump movement, going around being this apologist who, quote, is an insider and admits that the liberty movement's really bad, and he apologizes to the left, a total Judas goat.
► 00:30:59
Then he goes on Fox News and sits up there.
► 00:31:04
And acts like he's now pro-Trump trying to rehabilitate himself.
► 00:31:07
Hey, Megyn Kelly at least had the class to leave to NBC knowing her viewers and listeners hated her guts.
► 00:31:14
It's even worse with you, Beck.
► 00:31:16
Go away.
► 00:31:18
You are incredible.
► 00:31:19
And again, I'm not in competition with you.
► 00:31:22
I don't bash other major talk show hosts.
► 00:31:24
I'm sick of you.
► 00:31:26
I know what you've done in talk radio.
► 00:31:28
I know what you've done behind the scenes with sponsors.
► 00:31:30
I know how you've been out to get me for like eight years.
► 00:31:33
Out to get Ron Paul.
► 00:31:34
Out to get Donald Trump.
► 00:31:36
Out to get everybody.
► 00:31:37
You are bad news.
► 00:31:39
Now we got bad news.
► 00:31:42
I love that you laughed.
► 00:31:45
I don't bash other news hosts unless they're Megyn Kelly because she doesn't.
► 00:31:51
Smell, right?
► 00:31:52
Because I did that a sentence back.
► 00:31:54
Yeah, yeah.
► 00:31:55
What is...
► 00:31:55
I'm so glad you picked up on that because that was what charmed me about that clip.
► 00:31:59
That's the most obvious thing in the world.
► 00:32:00
How does he...
► 00:32:01
Also, I like how he's like, half the nation is...
► 00:32:07
No, it's way more than half.
► 00:32:08
Yeah.
► 00:32:09
Trump's favorable ratings are like 27 now?
► 00:32:12
If that.
► 00:32:12
It's ridiculous.
► 00:32:13
If you...
► 00:32:14
What's the...
► 00:32:15
What's that...
► 00:32:17
What's that metric called where you subtract the positives and the negatives?
► 00:32:21
You know, like where you take the favorability against unfavorability?
► 00:32:25
He's super low on that.
► 00:32:28
Yeah, no, what was it?
► 00:32:30
Obama, whenever he was elected, he had a plus 71 favorable.
► 00:32:35
I think he's at negative 7. Yeah, even W had like 30, and it's like he's way, way down there.
► 00:32:43
It's at the point now where he's worried that there will be a coup against Trump, and most of the country is like...
► 00:32:50
I mean, if Obama wanted a third term...
► 00:32:53
Well, you saw that in his farewell speech.
► 00:32:55
Everyone kept chanting, four more years, and Obama's response was, I can't do that.
► 00:33:00
Yeah, I know.
► 00:33:01
Which goes so against Alex Jones' entire narrative, which is that he wants four more years.
► 00:33:06
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:33:07
It's like, no, he...
► 00:33:08
He's the only person who actually believes in the Constitution now.
► 00:33:12
Yeah.
► 00:33:13
To our detriment.
► 00:33:14
Everybody...
► 00:33:15
Not that Obama should have four more years.
► 00:33:17
I'm not saying that.
► 00:33:19
But it is to his detriment that he plays so soft.
► 00:33:22
He believed too hard.
► 00:33:23
He believed too hard in America.
► 00:33:25
That was his ultimate failing.
► 00:33:27
Now, here's my theory on where we are now.
► 00:33:30
And the theory is this.
► 00:33:33
Because Obama was so reasonable, the only way to fight against him was to make shit up.
► 00:33:40
Yeah.
► 00:33:41
Like, if Obama actually had gone far left, then the right would be much more towards the center right now, because it would be much easier to fight against him as, like, centrist.
► 00:33:52
Sure.
► 00:33:53
And instead, because Obama was so in the center, the right just had to go further and further and further and make shit, like, Obama's a secret Muslim.
► 00:34:02
Yeah.
► 00:34:02
Like, they had to make that up because they couldn't be like, well, Obama seems like he's pretty reasonable and he's governing the country in its idea.
► 00:34:09
He's consistently made overtures to try and cooperate.
► 00:34:12
Yeah, he really tried hard, that poor bastard.
► 00:34:15
I read a great, I mean, this is going to be the new, like, hacky thing to say or, like, cliche thing, but I read a great Twitter thread that someone posted about how, like, hey, conservatives, good fucking luck because you've had eight years of the most conciliatory, polite, Decent, trying to work with you president in the world, and you are fucking shitting on it, and now you're going to see what happens when liberals don't want to play along.
► 00:34:40
I think there's something to that.
► 00:34:42
I don't.
► 00:34:43
What?
► 00:34:44
I don't.
► 00:34:44
I don't think there is something to that.
► 00:34:46
I think liberals will always want to play along.
► 00:34:49
You're right.
► 00:34:49
That's what we are.
► 00:34:50
You're right.
► 00:34:50
That's by our definition, our goal is like, hey, we believe that you're people too.
► 00:34:57
Yeah.
► 00:34:58
And their entire goal is...
► 00:35:00
You're not people.
► 00:35:02
Money is people.
► 00:35:03
You're demons!
► 00:35:04
He literally called us demons!
► 00:35:06
Repeatedly.
► 00:35:07
Yeah, so it's not like liberals will still...
► 00:35:10
Well, even now you read all those articles where it's like...
► 00:35:12
Here's why we lost, because we didn't appeal to middle America.
► 00:35:16
And it's like, no, no, no.
► 00:35:17
We lost because middle America, those white fuckers, just did not give a shit.
► 00:35:22
That's why that whole bubble narrative is fucking bullshit.
► 00:35:25
It's bullshit.
► 00:35:25
It is straight up bullshit.
► 00:35:27
You know what bubbles are?
► 00:35:28
The multicultural centers where people are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
► 00:35:31
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:35:31
I hate it when you live in your bubble of all the different types of people together, and you don't live in the bubble of only white fucks together.
► 00:35:40
So there was too much to cover in this episode, so I'm going to do a quick rundown of things that couldn't make the cut.
► 00:35:47
Excellent.
► 00:35:49
We're doing a full-on Sklar Brothers cheap seats situation here.
► 00:35:53
Yeah, there was a nice rundown.
► 00:35:55
What got cut?
► 00:35:56
What got cut?
► 00:35:57
Roger Stone, a Trump surrogate who hosts the show sometimes, had a nice quote about how when Donald Trump goes overseas, he always knows he's going to be videotaped.
► 00:36:08
So these tapes couldn't possibly exist because he knows that people are taping him.
► 00:36:12
He's too smart to be taped.
► 00:36:13
Meanwhile, Billy Bush fucking got him on a film set.
► 00:36:17
On a fucking film set when he was wearing a microphone.
► 00:36:20
That he knew he was wearing.
► 00:36:22
Yeah, so that whole logic to me is so crazy.
► 00:36:25
Also, I like how you said Billy Bush got him.
► 00:36:28
As if Billy Bush had any idea what was going on in his own way.
► 00:36:32
Yeah, yeah.
► 00:36:33
Both of them just didn't give a fuck.
► 00:36:36
Yeah, that's how I like to spin it, though.
► 00:36:37
It's more fun for me.
► 00:36:38
That's true.
► 00:36:39
As though Billy Bush was the hero of this world we live in.
► 00:36:43
Alex had a nice talk about how free speech is going to end.
► 00:36:47
And one of the things that he cited was that when they arrested Dinesh D'Souza, I knew the game was up.
► 00:36:53
Did they arrest him?
► 00:36:54
I looked into it.
► 00:36:55
Back in 2014, they arrested him because he was indicted for breaking campaign finance laws by illegally donating to the senatorial campaign of a New York conservative candidate named Wendy Long.
► 00:37:06
So that's when he knew the game was up?
► 00:37:08
Because it's about free speech.
► 00:37:10
It is about free speech.
► 00:37:11
So I looked into it, and the government charged D'Souza with illegally arranging to have two people, an employee and a woman with whom he was romantically involved...
► 00:37:19
Donate $10,000 each to a campaign of an old friend from Dartmouth College, with the understanding that he would reimburse them in cash for their contributions.
► 00:37:28
According to prosecutors, Mr. D'Souza lied to Miss Long, the candidate in question they were donating to, about the donations, reassuring her that the people who were donating had sufficient funds to make the contribution.
► 00:37:39
Miss Long pressed D'Souza on the matter after the election, and he acknowledged that he had reimbursed the two people, the government said.
► 00:37:46
But told Miss Long not to worry because she had not known about it.
► 00:37:50
So he actually found, at this point, the only way to break campaign finance laws.
► 00:37:56
Basically.
► 00:37:56
Like, the laws are so non-existent now.
► 00:38:00
He found the most...
► 00:38:03
Like, that's the most obvious way to...
► 00:38:05
Like, that might as well have been him writing, and I'm willing to disguise my...
► 00:38:11
on the website.
► 00:38:12
That's ridiculous.
► 00:38:14
Judge Berman rebuked the defendant repeatedly over the course of the hearing, describing his conduct as self-destructive, and his remarks...
► 00:38:20
Is remarked in the media as thoughtless.
► 00:38:23
Self-destructive is the only way.
► 00:38:25
Well, have you...
► 00:38:26
Hold on.
► 00:38:26
Oh, God.
► 00:38:27
The judge even quoted from a letter to the court from Mr. D'Souza's ex-wife, Dixie D'Souza, which is a great name.
► 00:38:34
Dixie D'Souza is a great name.
► 00:38:35
In which she said he had a, quote, flawed character and lack of truthfulness and accused him of physically abusing her.
► 00:38:42
Now, hold on.
► 00:38:43
It's not over.
► 00:38:43
Oh, God.
► 00:38:44
How is it not over?
► 00:38:45
Mr. D'Souza spoke briefly on his own behalf, explaining that he had made the illegal donations because he wanted to help Miss Long's floundering campaign.
► 00:38:52
Quote, I could see that personally she was humiliated, he said.
► 00:38:56
Mr. D'Souza, who came to America alone from India as a teenager, described Miss Long as a member of his, quote, surrogate family at Dartmouth.
► 00:39:03
But that's...
► 00:39:03
How is there more?
► 00:39:05
For its part, the government argued that Mr. D'Souza's crime was not a misguided act of friendship, but a, quote, premeditated decision to break the campaign finance law.
► 00:39:14
Well, yeah, he literally said, I was doing this because I wanted her to win!
► 00:39:20
Because she was humiliated.
► 00:39:21
He admitted exactly what he did!
► 00:39:23
Which is pathetic.
► 00:39:24
That's not a defense!
► 00:39:25
No, the pathetic part about it is that he's trying to...
► 00:39:27
Your Honor, in my defense, I wanted to kill that man.
► 00:39:31
And then I did.
► 00:39:34
Oh, great.
► 00:39:35
Cool.
► 00:39:36
You're free.
► 00:39:37
Oh, okay.
► 00:39:38
Sweet.
► 00:39:38
I didn't realize that would work.
► 00:39:39
Oh, God.
► 00:39:40
Really?
► 00:39:41
But the cowardly thing about it is that he couches it in empathy.
► 00:39:44
It's like, I cared about my family.
► 00:39:45
My surrogate family.
► 00:39:46
So that's why I did it.
► 00:39:47
I mean, that's not cowardly.
► 00:39:50
That's craven.
► 00:39:52
Craven is what it is.
► 00:39:52
I think it's cowardly because it's couching it within the language of empathy when it's not.
► 00:39:56
You're trying to cover your tracks.
► 00:39:58
When empathy is a beautiful thing.
► 00:40:00
Cowardly would be more like him throwing her under the bus.
► 00:40:03
True.
► 00:40:03
She asked me to do it.
► 00:40:05
Craven is more like he is knowingly simulating the emotions of a human being.
► 00:40:14
You've taught me a lesson here today.
► 00:40:15
Craven is not just a hunter.
► 00:40:17
Craven is not just a hunter.
► 00:40:18
Also cut from the- Comic book jokes.
► 00:40:21
We have to get to what I think is going to be the most important thing that's ever happened on this podcast.
► 00:40:27
The second coming of Christ?
► 00:40:29
Yes, in some ways.
► 00:40:32
He did talk a little bit about P-Gate.
► 00:40:35
I can play those clips if you want to hear one.
► 00:40:38
Wait.
► 00:40:39
The sad part is I almost thought that that was just a shortening of Pizzagate, but now I remember it's that Trump was peed on by a Russian hooker.
► 00:40:50
Allegedly.
► 00:40:52
Allegedly, it was a specific hooker.
► 00:40:54
We all know it has been at least a hooker.
► 00:40:57
Probably.
► 00:40:58
I mean, look, here's the thing.
► 00:40:59
I don't think that evidence that we have proves anything.
► 00:41:03
I agree.
► 00:41:04
But I also don't think it's outside the realm of possibility.
► 00:41:06
I think it's the most inside the realm of possibility thing you can have.
► 00:41:10
Also, I think that most people who have been covering it have been covering it with the caveat in the same way that BuzzFeed says this is sponsored content.
► 00:41:17
I think every article that I've read about it has been like, this is unverified.
► 00:41:22
It is unverified, but the news is not you're verifying these claims.
► 00:41:27
The news is that...
► 00:41:29
The president was briefed on these claims.
► 00:41:31
Which is fair to report.
► 00:41:33
Exactly.
► 00:41:33
You should be reporting that.
► 00:41:35
The president is briefed on this.
► 00:41:36
You're derelict in your duty if you don't.
► 00:41:37
Yeah.
► 00:41:38
We're just going to keep that away.
► 00:41:39
Now, as far as the peeing on thing goes, I have no problem with him being peed on.
► 00:41:45
Me neither.
► 00:41:45
And that's not even, like...
► 00:41:47
The sexual exploits of JFK are thrown under the rug because that was back whenever people had the gentleman's agreement of like, oh, we will keep his private business private.
► 00:41:58
To the extent that the press knew what he was up to and because of decorum they didn't talk about it.
► 00:42:03
Yeah, exactly, which is on them.
► 00:42:05
That was bad there.
► 00:42:06
So it's not the peeing on thing that bothers me because that's not even, like, that's the salacious thing in that that everybody, like...
► 00:42:15
Gloms onto.
► 00:42:16
That's what Twitter gloms onto.
► 00:42:17
Yeah, exactly.
► 00:42:18
Because it's fun to tweet about it.
► 00:42:19
What it really should be is that he may be...
► 00:42:23
Being blackmailed about it.
► 00:42:24
Like, who cares if he fucking peed on a dog?
► 00:42:29
They're blackmailing him about it.
► 00:42:31
That's the story!
► 00:42:32
And his behavior does line up with someone who's being blackmailed.
► 00:42:35
It lines up perfectly with someone who's being blackmailed.
► 00:42:38
Now, that could be a coincidence.
► 00:42:39
It's not.
► 00:42:40
But it could be.
► 00:42:41
But let's say, let's like posit a world where he's not being blackmailed.
► 00:42:46
Hillary Clinton is president.
► 00:42:48
No, because of the narrative that's already been set up and because of his actions and how ruthless Russia is, really.
► 00:42:54
Like, Putin is a ruthless, ruthless man.
► 00:42:56
He's Vladimir the Ruthless.
► 00:42:57
He is.
► 00:42:57
In Alex Jones' own words.
► 00:42:59
Exactly.
► 00:43:00
And so, like, we're in a place now where Russia could come up with anything and be like...
► 00:43:08
Do what we want or we'll release this.
► 00:43:10
Even if they don't have blackmail now, they can make it.
► 00:43:14
They can make it so easily.
► 00:43:16
We're so far beyond the realm of reality now.
► 00:43:19
That whole fake news thing is such a win for everybody.
► 00:43:24
Conspiracy theorists especially.
► 00:43:26
For everybody.
► 00:43:27
Because now there is no legitimacy to any bit of information.
► 00:43:32
I can't believe or not believe anything.
► 00:43:35
Nope.
► 00:43:36
Because you're dumb.
► 00:43:37
I am dumb.
► 00:43:38
That is a true thing.
► 00:43:39
So I'm going to play one clip of the P-Gate stuff.
► 00:43:43
P-Gate!
► 00:43:45
We're dancing at the gates of P. I mean, his take on it is pretty predictable.
► 00:43:52
I might have to cut this off at some point.
► 00:43:55
It's pretty predictable.
► 00:43:57
It's pretty predictable.
► 00:44:00
Notice it's the mainstream media again running with a ridiculous...
► 00:44:08
It's not easily debunkable.
► 00:44:10
It's not easily debunkable.
► 00:44:11
Whatever you want to say about it, it's very hard to unverify.
► 00:44:15
And I'm not entirely sure that debunkable is a word.
► 00:44:18
I mean, we're going to allow it.
► 00:44:21
That claim was part of some secret CIA report that the president has been blackmailed by the Russians because they have video of him.
► 00:44:31
With women urinating on each other.
► 00:44:33
Now, again, I'm sorry to have to talk about that on air, but that's what's being put in the news.
► 00:44:37
So this goes back to that decorum thing we were talking about.
► 00:44:40
This is Alex Jones' fake decorum.
► 00:44:42
He's like, I'm sorry I have to talk about this dirty, dirty stuff.
► 00:44:46
Children, avoid learning about the world.
► 00:44:49
Right, right.
► 00:44:50
Although, this is my favorite thing about Trump right now, and my favorite thing about the world we live in, is everything turns so fast.
► 00:44:58
Like on Tuesday, Obama gave an uplifting, beautiful speech about unity.
► 00:45:05
We still can.
► 00:45:06
And on Wednesday, Trump denied being peed on by hookers.
► 00:45:11
That is the world that we live in.
► 00:45:13
It's amazing!
► 00:45:14
It's a farce, unthought of by playwriters.
► 00:45:17
Yeah!
► 00:45:18
There's no way that we could write anything more insane than what's going on right now.
► 00:45:22
If you want to hear about insane, look at this juxtaposition of, I'm sorry I had to talk about pee.
► 00:45:26
Now here is next sentence.
► 00:45:27
Let's do it.
► 00:45:29
I covered it.
► 00:45:30
It is Jerry Epstein of the Lolita Express and the Clintons that are clearly involved in the entire pedophile network.
► 00:45:39
It is the Clintons that are clearly involved with the whole Hollywood elite and the Roman Polanskis and the Meryl Streeps who apologize for pedophilia and especially champion it.
► 00:45:51
This is the group that is into all this.
► 00:45:54
We know that.
► 00:45:55
It comes out over and over and over and over again.
► 00:45:58
So he keeps doing this thing.
► 00:46:00
He keeps doing this thing where he's like, I don't want to talk about peeing, but also Roman Polanski raped a 13-year-old.
► 00:46:06
He's like, hey, none of us are defending Roman Polanski, bro.
► 00:46:09
These easily debunkable claims about Trump watching people pee on each other.
► 00:46:13
But also, everyone in the Clinton's organization is a pedophile.
► 00:46:18
Right, and he brings up Jerry Epstein, who was a billionaire and...
► 00:46:22
Convicted pedophile.
► 00:46:23
Okay.
► 00:46:24
He had a private plane, and he would take people on vacations.
► 00:46:27
Bill Clinton is in his Rolodex.
► 00:46:29
Okay.
► 00:46:29
But also Donald Trump is in the Rolodex.
► 00:46:31
I mean, he's a billionaire, so pretty much everybody's in his Rolodex.
► 00:46:34
It doesn't prove that you're fucking kids, but it does mean that you hung out with him.
► 00:46:38
I've hung out with some bad dudes.
► 00:46:40
I didn't necessarily...
► 00:46:41
Like, when I was younger...
► 00:46:42
Bad enough dudes to save the president?
► 00:46:44
I don't know.
► 00:46:45
I used to hang out with a guy who sold me weed, and I didn't know, but he was also selling guns.
► 00:46:51
No!
► 00:46:52
Had I known that at the time, I wouldn't have hung out with him.
► 00:46:53
That's too dangerous for my blood.
► 00:46:55
That sort of thing.
► 00:46:56
But, like, I did hang out with him.
► 00:46:57
He was a nice enough guy.
► 00:46:58
I imagine that if I had hung out with a pedophile at some point, and I found out later, I wouldn't be like, I shouldn't have done that.
► 00:47:06
I'd be like, wow, I didn't know that about them.
► 00:47:08
That sucks.
► 00:47:08
I wish I would have known.
► 00:47:10
But they were...
► 00:47:12
They weren't fucking kids around me.
► 00:47:14
They didn't bring that up.
► 00:47:15
See, that is very much like a corollary in our world where a lot of, and let's not say a lot, but let's say men are monsters.
► 00:47:23
Yeah.
► 00:47:24
And comedians are all crazy people.
► 00:47:26
Sure.
► 00:47:26
So we do know a bunch of people who are in that, like...
► 00:47:29
Who've done some bad shit.
► 00:47:31
I didn't know they were always been nice to me.
► 00:47:34
Sure.
► 00:47:34
Like, once I know that's going on, that immediately changes the relationship.
► 00:47:39
Well, there's some that you get a vibe off of, but, you know.
► 00:47:41
Yeah.
► 00:47:42
But anyway, so...
► 00:47:43
There have been a few that we've gotten vibes off of.
► 00:47:45
He does this whole thing about the P. Gates stuff, and he's like, these...
► 00:47:49
God, can we stop?
► 00:47:50
I'm sorry.
► 00:47:50
Can we stop with Gates?
► 00:47:51
I know.
► 00:47:51
I hate it, too.
► 00:47:52
Can we stop with Gates?
► 00:47:52
I hate it.
► 00:47:53
No Gates.
► 00:47:54
Are we done with Gates yet?
► 00:47:55
You know who's really suffering?
► 00:47:56
We're on 50 years of Gates.
► 00:47:57
You know who's suffering from this?
► 00:47:58
Nixon.
► 00:47:59
Bill Gates.
► 00:48:01
I don't know if Bill Gates has ever suffered from anything.
► 00:48:04
He does this whole long thing about how it's the liberals who are into this sexual perversion.
► 00:48:10
Then he has this sentence that I think is delicious.
► 00:48:15
Please enjoy this.
► 00:48:16
Because all the liberals are obsessed.
► 00:48:18
The libtards, the progtards.
► 00:48:20
They're obsessed.
► 00:48:21
Hollywood's obsessed with fucking kids.
► 00:48:23
What's Trump obsessed with?
► 00:48:24
I'll tell you.
► 00:48:25
I'll tell you right fucking now.
► 00:48:28
No.
► 00:48:29
Donald Trump has an obsession with beautiful, perfect ten women.
► 00:48:33
I don't think anybody's going to say that's a crime.
► 00:48:35
He's ever claimed to be, you know, Mr. Perfect, but he's been married several times.
► 00:48:40
He has a great family.
► 00:48:41
That's a great clip.
► 00:48:43
That is great.
► 00:48:45
See, but that's how...
► 00:48:46
That's how insane shit has gotten where you can say the most sexist thing you can think of because that's the least offensive thing about him at this point.
► 00:48:55
He's into perfect ten women.
► 00:48:57
He's into perfect ten women.
► 00:48:59
No, that's not a crime.
► 00:49:00
He's been married a bunch of times.
► 00:49:02
That's also not a crime.
► 00:49:03
He has a great family.
► 00:49:04
He has a great family?
► 00:49:05
Those thoughts don't track.
► 00:49:08
No, his family does have a very children of the corn look about them.
► 00:49:11
And one of them is just completely ignored.
► 00:49:14
Which one?
► 00:49:15
Tiffany?
► 00:49:16
He has another daughter that never- He has another daughter?
► 00:49:18
Yeah, that is just completely ignored.
► 00:49:19
Oh my god, is it like a man in the iron mask scenario where the daughter is kept in a fucking underground basement?
► 00:49:26
No, I think she's doing fine, but it's sort of, you know how there was on the Osbournes, they had another daughter that wasn't on the reality show?
► 00:49:33
I did not know that.
► 00:49:34
Yeah, there was another daughter who was like, I don't want any part of this show.
► 00:49:36
And so she just, they pretended she didn't exist.
► 00:49:38
The smartest daughter in the history of the world.
► 00:49:40
Exactly, like the third Olsen sister.
► 00:49:42
Because Mary-Kate and Ashley were twins, but there was another one.
► 00:49:45
But isn't she an actress now?
► 00:49:47
She is now, but she was never in the public eye before.
► 00:49:49
Or there's another Jonas brother.
► 00:49:51
There's another Jonas brother?
► 00:49:53
There's a bonus Jonas.
► 00:49:54
God damn you.
► 00:49:55
Sorry.
► 00:49:55
I will see you in hell for that, sir.
► 00:49:57
Sir, we shall meet at dawn.
► 00:50:00
Jordan, time has come.
► 00:50:02
We have to get to...
► 00:50:03
I wish there was theme music for this.
► 00:50:05
The greatest thing ever.
► 00:50:07
Okay.
► 00:50:07
All right.
► 00:50:08
I don't even want to explain to you what this is.
► 00:50:12
Okay.
► 00:50:12
I just want to start the clip and watch your face.
► 00:50:16
Oh, God, no.
► 00:50:16
Because this is going to blow your mind.
► 00:50:19
This is something from 2004.
► 00:50:24
We have a very, very special guest.
► 00:50:26
He's going to come out here.
► 00:50:27
He's going to talk to you.
► 00:50:28
He's going to bring up Dougie.
► 00:50:30
I am a huge fan of his.
► 00:50:32
It's really an honor to bring him up here.
► 00:50:35
Please keep it going for the Lord of Conspiracy, Alex Jones, everybody!
► 00:50:42
Are you picking up what's going on yet?
► 00:50:43
He's the Lord of Conspiracy.
► 00:50:45
Do you understand what the scenario is right now?
► 00:50:47
I'm not sure.
► 00:50:49
okay we'll see other sorry for you you can have a good time and here's a great comic movie bird absolutely amazing that's great to use it well he said degenerate this other than that he's a pretty good guy Alex Jones doing stand-up.
► 00:51:18
No!
► 00:51:19
No!
► 00:51:20
Oh, yes?
► 00:51:21
No!
► 00:51:22
Oh, yes!
► 00:51:23
But...
► 00:51:24
But no!
► 00:51:26
But oh yes!
► 00:51:27
Do you have any of it?
► 00:51:28
Oh, we got the whole clip.
► 00:51:29
No!
► 00:51:30
Play me some stand-up.
► 00:51:31
Oh, we're gonna.
► 00:51:31
Play me some stand-up.
► 00:51:32
So here's what happened.
► 00:51:33
I'll give you just a little bit of a rundown.
► 00:51:35
So he's brought up to the Lord of Conspiracy, which, God, that would be a great Broadway show.
► 00:51:43
Absolutely.
► 00:51:44
Dancing, paranoia, it would be beautiful.
► 00:51:47
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 00:51:48
So, uh...
► 00:51:49
If we were gonna write an opera...
► 00:51:51
That would be the name of this opera about Alex Jones.
► 00:51:53
What about Phantom of Conspiracy?
► 00:51:55
Phantom of Conspiracy.
► 00:51:56
We would have to do it in Italian, though.
► 00:51:59
That's the only way we would...
► 00:52:00
I know a couple opera singers.
► 00:52:02
Really?
► 00:52:03
Yeah.
► 00:52:03
Alright.
► 00:52:04
So, Alex Jones is friends with Doug Stanhope.
► 00:52:07
The two of them are friends because Doug likes fucking weirdos.
► 00:52:11
And when Doug was headlining at the Cap City Comedy Club...
► 00:52:17
Which is a great club!
► 00:52:18
Yeah, I did their open mic once.
► 00:52:20
Actually, I didn't.
► 00:52:22
You were there, and they were not allowed.
► 00:52:25
I went there for the open mic, and two really, really mentally ill people who were doing comedy came up to me and wouldn't leave me alone, and so I left.
► 00:52:34
It was way too uncomfortable.
► 00:52:36
Smart move.
► 00:52:36
But he...
► 00:52:37
It is never a bad idea to leave an open mic.
► 00:52:40
Nobody has ever been like, oh man, I wish I hadn't left that open mic.
► 00:52:43
So Stan Hope...
► 00:52:45
When he's down in Austin, he's like, hey, Alex, come do a set.
► 00:52:50
Bring me up to stage.
► 00:52:52
So this is what happens.
► 00:52:53
Okay.
► 00:52:54
Now, he started with a but seriously, which is great.
► 00:52:57
I love that.
► 00:53:00
We're going to see if he has any chops.
► 00:53:02
Let's see what he's got on that.
► 00:53:03
Oh, I'm going to...
► 00:53:05
Pre-listening to the clip, I'm going to say his chops are...
► 00:53:13
Spectacular.
► 00:53:13
Well, you know, a lot of people think...
► 00:53:15
Unimpeachable chaps.
► 00:53:16
A lot of people think that he's Bill Hicks, faked his own death, and now he's Alex Jones.
► 00:53:20
You know that conspiracy?
► 00:53:21
God, that would be such a great bit.
► 00:53:22
There's a lot of conspiracy about that, that he's Andy Kaufman-ing as, you know...
► 00:53:27
Andy Kaufman would not do that.
► 00:53:28
No.
► 00:53:29
Here we go.
► 00:53:31
I'm not a comedian.
► 00:53:32
And I've heard a lot of stuff about Iraq, and I've heard some other comments about politics.
► 00:53:37
And let's just go over some basic stuff here for a minute, okay?
► 00:53:42
This is not a drill!
► 00:53:43
This is serious shit!
► 00:53:45
Out!
► 00:53:47
Ow!
► 00:53:48
I want to play the end of it, because you were laughing.
► 00:53:51
You were laughing over this.
► 00:53:52
I want you to listen to the audience reaction, because I think it's important.
► 00:53:59
You see how that tapered out?
► 00:54:02
There was like a couple woos and then silence.
► 00:54:05
This, I think, if we're analyzing this as performers ourselves, what happened there when he started yelling was he was attempting to get into character.
► 00:54:14
He was trying to get into the Alex Jones persona.
► 00:54:16
Okay.
► 00:54:17
And he got that silence, and he realized, oh fuck.
► 00:54:21
Oh yeah?
► 00:54:22
Oh fuck.
► 00:54:22
Okay.
► 00:54:23
So that brings us to the next clip.
► 00:54:24
And by the way, I cut out nothing.
► 00:54:26
Okay!
► 00:54:27
All I did was separate the clips.
► 00:54:30
This is all of it.
► 00:54:31
Okay.
► 00:54:32
But just...
► 00:54:32
God, I'm so excited for this.
► 00:54:34
I've got the film clip of Eisenhower back in 1958 calling Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of the Caribbean.
► 00:54:44
Sounds like a...
► 00:54:45
Maybe he is.
► 00:54:47
But my point is, they put that motherfucker in power.
► 00:54:52
He thought that motherfucker was the laugh?
► 00:54:55
Or possibly he thought he was doing Dennis Miller when he was like, they called Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of the Caribbean.
► 00:55:02
Uh, hey man.
► 00:55:04
You're doing a salmon.
► 00:55:06
Sorry, I can't stop doing salmon.
► 00:55:08
So he goes on.
► 00:55:10
He got no real response off that.
► 00:55:13
They put him in there!
► 00:55:15
But it's not just him.
► 00:55:17
It's everybody.
► 00:55:18
It's Ho Chi Minh.
► 00:55:19
It's Mao Zedong.
► 00:55:22
It's Manuel Moriega.
► 00:55:24
It's Hussein Bin Laden.
► 00:55:26
It's Saddam Hussein.
► 00:55:27
It's the Shah.
► 00:55:28
It's the...
► 00:55:29
They build them up, they knock them down, and I watch them stick our troops in these meat grinders.
► 00:55:34
And it's all admitted, you know, I'm the weirdo who sits there and watches the C-SPAN documentary, so they've got the 85-year-old CIA section chief, you know, who back in 1950 goes, well, actually, the CIA was behind Mao and we put him into power.
► 00:55:50
Of course, I already knew that, but now these bastards are admitting it?
► 00:55:54
Mao Satan killed 50 million!
► 00:56:02
While you were laughing, the clip went on to dead silence from the audience.
► 00:56:06
Yeah, well, that's not a joke.
► 00:56:07
It's not a good bit.
► 00:56:08
There's no construction there.
► 00:56:10
It's not even good public speaking, really.
► 00:56:12
No, no, no.
► 00:56:13
If you want to take comedy out of it and just be like, you're giving a lecture, it's not a good lecture.
► 00:56:16
Well, I think that's the problem that he ran into there, is he realized about halfway through those words.
► 00:56:23
He doesn't have anywhere to go.
► 00:56:25
So he thought shouting would do it.
► 00:56:27
But again, that's what I think is the I'm trying to get into character.
► 00:56:31
He's constantly trying to get to that gear, but he's not used to being in front of an audience that doesn't give a fuck.
► 00:56:39
They want to see Doug Stanhope.
► 00:56:40
Right.
► 00:56:41
So to them, he is an impediment.
► 00:56:45
To getting to Stanhope.
► 00:56:47
So he's seeing an audience...
► 00:56:48
There does seem to be...
► 00:56:49
Like, Doug Stanhope's audience would have plenty of people who are familiar with Alex Jones, right?
► 00:56:54
Maybe.
► 00:56:54
Like, Stanhope is...
► 00:56:55
Stanhope's an awesome comic who's also a dirtbag.
► 00:56:58
But maybe not in 04. That's a good point.
► 00:57:01
It's possible that he...
► 00:57:02
That is way back when.
► 00:57:03
Yeah.
► 00:57:03
I mean, he was still doing his...
► 00:57:04
Why is he shouting about all of the...
► 00:57:06
Why did he bring up Noriega?
► 00:57:09
Because he's in the mix.
► 00:57:11
But of what?
► 00:57:12
These dictators that have been put in place by powers that be.
► 00:57:16
Okay, so Eisenhower called...
► 00:57:20
Fidel Castro.
► 00:57:22
Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of Cuba.
► 00:57:24
The Caribbean.
► 00:57:25
Of the Caribbean.
► 00:57:26
Yeah.
► 00:57:26
He was a pirate of the Caribbean.
► 00:57:27
Because he was a pirate of the Caribbean.
► 00:57:30
He was actually, you know, people think it was Keith Richards?
► 00:57:35
Uh-uh.
► 00:57:35
Fidel Castro.
► 00:57:36
100%.
► 00:57:37
That's who Johnny Depp was really channeling there.
► 00:57:39
There's no doubt about that.
► 00:57:40
Also, Hans Zimmer did the score for that movie.
► 00:57:42
It's going to be at Coachella.
► 00:57:44
Is that right?
► 00:57:44
Isn't that him?
► 00:57:45
I have no idea.
► 00:57:46
Is that Danny Elfman?
► 00:57:47
What composer's going to be there?
► 00:57:49
This is me trying to act like I know anything about pop culture.
► 00:57:52
John Williams?
► 00:57:52
I heard a composer is going to be at Coachella.
► 00:57:54
That's all I know.
► 00:57:55
Who cares?
► 00:57:57
Okay, so...
► 00:57:58
So let's go from just a comedy standpoint, right?
► 00:58:01
Not great.
► 00:58:02
Not great.
► 00:58:03
Not a good bit.
► 00:58:04
It gets worse.
► 00:58:05
Very, very poorly constructed.
► 00:58:07
I don't think there's really a premise there.
► 00:58:10
I think there's the...
► 00:58:11
So the premise is...
► 00:58:12
Well, there's a premise, but not a comedic premise.
► 00:58:14
So the premise is...
► 00:58:15
If you're building a joke, there's nowhere to go.
► 00:58:17
But if you're building a thought, it's that our leaders keep putting in these dictators, and then they fake wars, and I have to watch people die.
► 00:58:26
That's the premise, but it's not a comedic premise.
► 00:58:29
Does he know he's being asked to do stand-up comedy?
► 00:58:32
He knows he's at a comedy club.
► 00:58:34
Okay.
► 00:58:35
Here's what I 100% think happened.
► 00:58:36
In occupied Texas.
► 00:58:38
Here's what I 100% think happened.
► 00:58:40
Doug Stanhope doesn't really like Alex Jones, but is amused by him.
► 00:58:45
As we both are.
► 00:58:46
Sure, but they're friends now, and he's set him in a situation that he knows he's going to fail in.
► 00:58:52
Because it's going to be entertaining to him.
► 00:58:54
There is a truth in that, to me, there is nothing funnier than a comic bombing his tits off.
► 00:59:00
Oh, sure.
► 00:59:01
I went to...
► 00:59:02
Do you know the comedian Bill Squire?
► 00:59:04
He's a guy out of Cleveland.
► 00:59:05
Super hilarious dude.
► 00:59:06
When I was unprepared for it, he took me on the road with him to the Dakotas.
► 00:59:11
And we did some one-nighters.
► 00:59:13
And then in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, we were there for like three nights.
► 00:59:17
And the first night we were there, they let me go up.
► 00:59:20
Which was nice of them at the club.
► 00:59:21
Yeah.
► 00:59:22
I ate my dick.
► 00:59:23
Of course.
► 00:59:23
I was doing pervy shit, and the audience had no interest in it, and I didn't have the tools.
► 00:59:27
I didn't have the skills to do it.
► 00:59:29
The chops.
► 00:59:29
Yeah, I bombed so hard, and Bill went up after me, and he was like, hey guys, I just want you to know, Dan's a friend of mine, and we drove here from Chicago, and watching you guys just really hate him was so fun to me.
► 00:59:45
And I got it.
► 00:59:46
That was hilarious to me.
► 00:59:49
Well, I maintain this.
► 00:59:50
Even being on the other side of it is enjoyable.
► 00:59:53
I maintain this that Mike Wiley is the funniest writer, and there is nothing funnier to me than watching Mike Wiley bomb.
► 01:00:01
Sure.
► 01:00:01
It is so great.
► 01:00:03
For those of you listening, Mike Wiley is a Chicago comic who is mostly one-liner based.
► 01:00:08
A tremendous writer.
► 01:00:10
Brilliant chops.
► 01:00:11
You can find his CD on iTunes.
► 01:00:13
It is, yeah, what is the name of his CD?
► 01:00:15
I can't remember now.
► 01:00:16
We're huge fans of him.
► 01:00:18
You're putting me on the spot.
► 01:00:18
Good point.
► 01:00:19
Alex does get a little bit of juice in this next clip.
► 01:00:24
Does the spirit get good to him?
► 01:00:25
No, I don't think so.
► 01:00:26
Oh, no.
► 01:00:27
He hits on something that the audience can relate to.
► 01:00:29
And again, I want to be clear, I'm not cutting anything out.
► 01:00:32
These are just segments.
► 01:00:34
And they want to sit around and tell me about Saddam Hussein for some war for $4 trillion in oil?
► 01:00:41
Oh, we wouldn't do that over oil.
► 01:00:42
We're just the big badasses in the 100-story buildings that own and run the nuclear weapons, that own your private prisons, that they're going to stick you and your family in as soon as they find you doing something wrong, some bullshit law they created.
► 01:00:57
That's right.
► 01:01:00
That's where he got them.
► 01:01:05
They hate prisons.
► 01:01:06
Everybody hates prisons.
► 01:01:07
Especially Stano fans.
► 01:01:09
Because they know they're going there.
► 01:01:11
They know the odds is good that they're going to get trumped up charges.
► 01:01:18
Oh, poor him.
► 01:01:20
Yeah, I like that yelling about, like, we're the people in 100-story buildings.
► 01:01:24
That's a nice visual image, but I don't know how it connects.
► 01:01:27
He's got that feel of, like, every single word he knows isn't working.
► 01:01:34
So he's starting to get louder and louder as a way to cover it up.
► 01:01:39
Oh, yeah.
► 01:01:39
I can't hear their laughter because I'm shouting too loud.
► 01:01:43
Yeah, we have two more clips here that are bad bits, and then things...
► 01:01:47
Bad bits.
► 01:01:48
Things take a turn a little bit later.
► 01:01:50
Things take a turn?
► 01:01:51
Oh.
► 01:01:52
And I have to sit here and watch him setting this up, setting up a living hell for all of us.
► 01:01:57
Living?
► 01:01:57
The boys running this country, and I mean Mr. Carey and his cousin George W. Bush.
► 01:02:04
His coffin made of stone bones.
► 01:02:06
These guys are the ones who put the Hitlers and the Stalins in.
► 01:02:12
They're the people that create the crises to offer you the solutions.
► 01:02:18
So this is a thing that Alex talks about all the time on his program.
► 01:02:21
It's called the Hegelian dialect.
► 01:02:24
Okay.
► 01:02:25
It's a process that is problem-reaction-solution.
► 01:02:28
Yes.
► 01:02:28
And so people who are trying to manipulate the world...
► 01:02:31
And that's the 9-11 narrative, then.
► 01:02:33
Yes.
► 01:02:33
Like, George W. orchestrated 9-11 so that he could take down Iraq because his dad didn't get to.
► 01:02:40
Well, the problem was that they needed more oil.
► 01:02:43
Mm-hmm.
► 01:02:44
No, no, I'm sorry.
► 01:02:46
All of it's set up.
► 01:02:47
I got the elements wrong.
► 01:02:49
The problem is that 9-11 happened.
► 01:02:51
The reaction is we go to war, and the solution is we get there.
► 01:02:54
I don't fucking know.
► 01:02:55
It's all stupid.
► 01:02:56
It's all stupid, but it's how you contextualize the idea of false flags, is that everyone has all this stuff planned ahead of time, and it's like, well, we've got to solve this problem.
► 01:03:06
Here's how the people will react.
► 01:03:08
And then we will offer them the solutions.
► 01:03:10
We'll create terror and they will beg us to help them out.
► 01:03:14
But that is how autocracies and dictatorships really wind up happening.
► 01:03:19
They do have that.
► 01:03:20
It's not that they cause the crisis.
► 01:03:22
It's that they know how to do it right.
► 01:03:24
You know what?
► 01:03:25
You know what I think?
► 01:03:26
Maybe Alex Jones...
► 01:03:27
There's no crisis that you can't turn into an opportunity to be more of a dictator.
► 01:03:32
And that's why that quote from Rahm, who I think also is an asshole, but not on the same level as...
► 01:03:37
Maybe Alex would think he is.
► 01:03:39
That quote, never let a good crisis go to waste, is an unfortunate sentiment.
► 01:03:46
It's a true one.
► 01:03:48
It's bad optics to be caught saying it because it makes it look like you might set up bad things to happen.
► 01:03:54
But the sentiment really behind it is we want to help people and if opportunities arise to do it, we should do those things.
► 01:04:01
Well, and it's like how Churchill famously...
► 01:04:05
Was super excited whenever the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor because then he knew America would get into the war.
► 01:04:12
Now backup's coming.
► 01:04:12
Yeah, exactly.
► 01:04:13
Which sucks.
► 01:04:14
But he was, you know, for him, nothing better could happen than the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor.
► 01:04:21
Sure.
► 01:04:22
It's in some ways taking the long view.
► 01:04:25
Yes.
► 01:04:26
Which, taking the long view is always a way to get hated.
► 01:04:29
Anyway, back to the bets.
► 01:04:32
That's a very loose characterization.
► 01:04:34
Somebody said 1984, and it's true.
► 01:04:36
That's what it's all about.
► 01:04:37
The war is against the people.
► 01:04:39
The war is against the people.
► 01:04:40
But going back to Saddam, he's saying, I'm going to bring Doug up here, because that's who you came to see, and they asked me to come up here, so I did it.
► 01:04:47
Take your time!
► 01:04:52
Jesus Christ.
► 01:04:53
The point here is...
► 01:04:54
Take your time was 100% Doug from the back of the room.
► 01:04:56
Oh, was it?
► 01:04:57
Oh, thank God.
► 01:04:58
No, you can recognize his voice.
► 01:04:59
Okay.
► 01:05:00
It's definitely...
► 01:05:01
Okay.
► 01:05:01
And a couple times when...
► 01:05:02
I mean, you can't identify claps.
► 01:05:04
But when there's like one clap, I'm pretty sure it's Doug.
► 01:05:07
Oh, if it were me in the back of that show, it would be him saying something and me going, Ha ha ha!
► 01:05:14
And that's it.
► 01:05:14
You would recognize my laugh immediately.
► 01:05:16
Have you ever listened to Jimmy Pardo's CD, Pompous Clown?
► 01:05:19
Yes.
► 01:05:19
You can hear Mike Schmidt laughing throughout it when no one else is laughing.
► 01:05:23
Yeah.
► 01:05:23
Because he gets it.
► 01:05:25
This is a different thing.
► 01:05:26
This is all different things.
► 01:05:27
This is a very different thing, but the same result.
► 01:05:29
Doug is not laughing with Alex Jones.
► 01:05:33
He's laughing at, oh, look at you, out of your element.
► 01:05:36
Yeah.
► 01:05:37
And I think, I sincerely think, that if Alex had learned the lesson of the beginning of the set, when he tried to get into character and it didn't work, if he had just powered through it, I think this would go way better than it does.
► 01:05:52
Really?
► 01:05:53
Yeah.
► 01:05:53
If he would have kept yelling...
► 01:05:55
It would have worked.
► 01:05:56
Okay.
► 01:05:56
But because he keeps rattling off facts that no one gives a fuck about, it gets fucking weird.
► 01:06:02
It is such a strange up and down for his energy on that.
► 01:06:07
It's just like, and it's Noriega!
► 01:06:11
Okay, let me tell you about George H.W. Bush.
► 01:06:14
Ho Chi Minh killed three million people!
► 01:06:15
Now, skull and bones.
► 01:06:16
Yeah, now, George W. Let's talk about the false flags.
► 01:06:19
Light a cigar and have a chat about these bad dudes.
► 01:06:22
Alright, so here's his next bit.
► 01:06:25
David Degenerate Rockefeller.
► 01:06:27
David Degenerate Rockefeller?
► 01:06:30
David Rockefeller.
► 01:06:31
You might want to find out who he is.
► 01:06:33
He really doesn't like you.
► 01:06:34
He wants to put cancer viruses in your vaccines.
► 01:06:37
He really wants to kill you.
► 01:06:38
Point is a sicko.
► 01:06:39
He's a Malthus.
► 01:06:42
He's a social Darwinist.
► 01:06:43
He wants to kill 80% of you.
► 01:06:44
He says it in major publications.
► 01:06:46
He knows you don't read them, so he laughs at you.
► 01:06:49
No, but David Rockefeller, when Mal died in 76, he was in the New York Times.
► 01:06:53
He said, oh, Mal's a wonderful mouse over.
► 01:06:55
I want to pause there really quick because this is another thing that he does all the time is he's like, all of these globalists admit exactly what they want to do in publications, but you don't read them because you're dumb.
► 01:07:08
You're fucking dumb.
► 01:07:09
You need me.
► 01:07:10
The implication there is I read all those.
► 01:07:13
I'm smart.
► 01:07:14
I'm going to relay this to you.
► 01:07:16
I am your fearless leader.
► 01:07:18
The second implication is that everybody else reads those publications and is like, oh yeah, we're in on this.
► 01:07:26
And they don't tell the people because they are in on this globalist conspiracy or whatever.
► 01:07:32
It's fascinating.
► 01:07:35
Let's just slow it down for a moment.
► 01:07:37
I apologize for going so fast.
► 01:07:40
If anybody in a position of power had said he wants to kill 80% of you, don't you think you would know about it?
► 01:07:50
You would think, but...
► 01:07:51
I mean, Bill Burr said that there is a population problem.
► 01:07:55
Sure, everyone knows that.
► 01:07:56
Everybody knows that.
► 01:07:57
But our population problem, realistically, if you look at it, is more a resource allocation problem.
► 01:08:03
Yeah.
► 01:08:04
We could support...
► 01:08:05
So many people.
► 01:08:07
So many people.
► 01:08:08
If we just did things a little bit more judiciously.
► 01:08:11
Yeah, but they're not going to pay us enough.
► 01:08:12
Nope.
► 01:08:13
No.
► 01:08:15
Listen.
► 01:08:15
God damn it.
► 01:08:17
That's fucking...
► 01:08:18
Oh, that's so good.
► 01:08:20
I wish I was there.
► 01:08:21
I wish I was there.
► 01:08:22
Oh, man.
► 01:08:22
I want to see the faces of every person in there.
► 01:08:25
Because you can hear some of those people enjoying themselves and being like, Preach it!
► 01:08:30
Preach it, motherfucker!
► 01:08:31
No, you can't.
► 01:08:31
Like two of them.
► 01:08:32
Okay, but that's what I'm saying.
► 01:08:33
And you've got to know, this is a sold-out show.
► 01:08:35
I want to see the faces on the...
► 01:08:35
Oh, of course it is.
► 01:08:37
It's Doug Stanhope in Austin.
► 01:08:38
In Austin, yeah, yeah.
► 01:08:40
That's...
► 01:08:40
I mean, even in 04, he was huge.
► 01:08:43
I want to see those faces because there was that huge round of applause at the beginning.
► 01:08:47
No.
► 01:08:48
And then, well, okay.
► 01:08:49
That's a polite applause.
► 01:08:51
Okay.
► 01:08:51
The only other time people applauded en masse is when he brought up that he was about to bring up Stanhope.
► 01:08:57
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:08:57
No, I want to see the faces turn.
► 01:09:00
That's what I want to see.
► 01:09:00
I want to see the moment where people all of a sudden, like the first sentence in, where they go, oh no.
► 01:09:08
And then the faces go blank.
► 01:09:10
Yeah, as someone who sees a ton of comedy.
► 01:09:14
I would love this.
► 01:09:15
Oh, God, I would want to be there.
► 01:09:17
At least it's different.
► 01:09:18
I can't stand the number of bland, cookie-cutter, open-mic shit I see.
► 01:09:22
He would be a god at open-mic comics.
► 01:09:25
Yeah.
► 01:09:25
So anyway, here we go.
► 01:09:27
He's still talking about Rockefeller and how he loved Mao Zedong and blah, blah, blah.
► 01:09:31
That's how arrogant these people are.
► 01:09:33
But let's take Saddam Hussein.
► 01:09:35
Admitted fact, 1954, young 18-year-old guy.
► 01:09:40
They hire him, CIA, takes him to Egypt, trains him how to kill people, trains him how to blow stuff up, shoot people.
► 01:09:47
They send him into Iraq.
► 01:09:48
Oh, he kills hundreds!
► 01:09:49
Hundreds!
► 01:09:50
Takes over.
► 01:09:51
And then by 1969, they tell the Ba 'ath government, we'll have Saddam stop killing all of you, and he put him in as the head of security.
► 01:09:59
Kind of like they're about to put Porter Goss in as the head of our security, our new Gestapo.
► 01:10:03
And then in 1979, they put him in as the president, and they say, sick him!
► 01:10:08
Sick him!
► 01:10:09
Get him!
► 01:10:10
Attack!
► 01:10:11
Iran!
► 01:10:11
Kill!
► 01:10:12
Kill!
► 01:10:12
And he kills a million, three hundred thousand of the damn Iranians.
► 01:10:17
That decreased very quickly.
► 01:10:18
And then, a few years later, they're telling him, go ahead and make a scene now.
► 01:10:21
While the ambassador, April Gillespie, sits there on a chair with him and goes, I would think you should invade immediately.
► 01:10:27
This ain't going to fail!
► 01:10:28
And he rolls in, follows orders!
► 01:10:31
And I watched that guy two years ago sitting there all freaked out with his cat going, I've been set up with some of the RPD.
► 01:10:36
I was ordered to do all of this.
► 01:10:39
He's finally getting all this.
► 01:10:40
But you never hear about that in America?
► 01:10:43
So do I like Saddam Hussein?
► 01:10:44
Hell no, I hate this guy, this hitman they created.
► 01:10:48
But it's the same thing with all these people.
► 01:10:51
Noriega, all of them.
► 01:10:52
It's a joke.
► 01:10:53
They've got to have somebody to bomb so they go out and create the boogeyman and have them do some mischief.
► 01:11:00
It's just incredible.
► 01:11:01
I like how he calls it mischief.
► 01:11:03
False flags.
► 01:11:04
Yeah, but mischief.
► 01:11:06
He has him kill one million people.
► 01:11:09
You know, mischief.
► 01:11:10
You know, a little bit of light shenanigans.
► 01:11:14
It's analogous to putting firecrackers in someone's mailbox.
► 01:11:17
Yeah, a little bit of shenanigans.
► 01:11:19
Okay, let's get through this, because you have a show.
► 01:11:21
We've got to get through this.
► 01:11:23
Growing up, young man, you can be president.
► 01:11:25
Any young lady can be president.
► 01:11:27
We can all be president.
► 01:11:28
It's a free country.
► 01:11:29
Is that why you've got 15 members of Stone Bones each year, 290 million people?
► 01:11:35
15 members each year.
► 01:11:37
And we can't even have two presidential candidates that aren't from that group?
► 01:11:41
I legitimately think that clap was Doug.
► 01:11:44
That had to be Doug.
► 01:11:45
Because it was so unlike the reaction from the audience.
► 01:11:48
Yeah, that was bananas.
► 01:11:49
Now, here's where shit turns.
► 01:11:52
Oh, how could shit turn?
► 01:11:55
The turn already happened the moment Alex Jones was born.
► 01:12:01
You're...
► 01:12:01
Oh, come on.
► 01:12:03
Hit me with it.
► 01:12:03
We can't even have two presidential candidates that aren't from that group.
► 01:12:07
Hey, you're blowing my buzz!
► 01:12:09
That's me, the staffer's been blowing his buzz!
► 01:12:11
No jokes or get off the stage!
► 01:12:13
See you there?
► 01:12:14
See you there?
► 01:12:14
Come on, man.
► 01:12:15
We're here to have fun.
► 01:12:16
Get off the stage!
► 01:12:17
See, they asked him to come up here.
► 01:12:19
You're blowing my buzz!
► 01:12:22
So, this guy is heckling him and telling him to get off stage or tell jokes, but you'll hear the wooing of the audience, and people start cheering, and that's because Doug has gotten on stage.
► 01:12:32
Okay.
► 01:12:32
Okay.
► 01:12:33
What are you saying to him?
► 01:12:38
You guys want to...
► 01:12:40
Hang on, he's about to do the tit-fuck joke.
► 01:12:43
Shut up!
► 01:12:45
This is for me, asshole!
► 01:12:47
So you were laughing over it, but Doug yells at the audience, this is for me, assholes.
► 01:12:52
Which almost confirms the I was setting Alex up to fail.
► 01:12:55
Oh, absolutely.
► 01:13:00
And because Alex has no goddamn confidence in the world, he keeps being like, they asked me to do this.
► 01:13:07
Look, it's almost apologizing to the audience.
► 01:13:09
I didn't want to do this.
► 01:13:10
They asked me to do it.
► 01:13:11
Of course he didn't want to do it.
► 01:13:13
So then after Doug gets off stage...
► 01:13:15
God, what a...
► 01:13:16
What a fucking pro Doug is, just walking up there for five seconds going, he's about to do the tit joke.
► 01:13:23
God, that's so good.
► 01:13:26
Yeah, but it's also like anybody could have made a good joke in that circumstance.
► 01:13:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:13:30
But see, that to me sounds like that was all one bit from Stan Hope.
► 01:13:36
That he had written this years ago, and he's like, finally!
► 01:13:39
He wrote Alex's whole material?
► 01:13:40
Finally, I get to have Alex Jones say nonsense for this one fucking killer punchline.
► 01:13:45
This whole time he's been like, I've always wanted to do a two-man act.
► 01:13:48
Oh, he's a sleeper cell.
► 01:13:50
It's a false flag operation there.
► 01:13:52
So after Doug gets off stage, Alex does a little bit of pandering.
► 01:13:56
And that's what I was going to say about Doug.
► 01:13:57
He may be a degenerate atheist, but my God, he's a hell of a lot better than the Christian Coalition!
► 01:14:06
Hey, did you see the New York Post two weeks ago?
► 01:14:09
Now, I've already broken in there and proven all this, but it said, Dave Burnstar servicing Republican leaders at the Bohemian Grove.
► 01:14:17
You want to know where the FBI needs to be investigating people?
► 01:14:20
It's over there.
► 01:14:21
But that's my point, is it's totally hypocritical.
► 01:14:24
The whole thing's a giant scam.
► 01:14:26
And, you know, I forgot this guy in the stratosphere who wants to go back to Kansas.
► 01:14:31
You're not in Kansas anymore.
► 01:14:32
I forgot where I was at when he interrupted me.
► 01:14:34
As I was closing down.
► 01:14:36
As I was completing my bombardment.
► 01:14:39
So what's awesome about that is...
► 01:14:41
As he was about to get to that killer titfuck joke.
► 01:14:43
With the idea that he was going somewhere.
► 01:14:46
Yeah, I know.
► 01:14:46
That's my point is the best thing that Alex Jones ever says.
► 01:14:50
He says it a lot.
► 01:14:51
He has no idea what his point is, ever.
► 01:14:54
Yeah, this set might be the secret of 2017.
► 01:14:57
That could be the secret of 2017.
► 01:15:00
God damn it, what is...
► 01:15:02
What did he think was going to happen?
► 01:15:05
I want to be in...
► 01:15:06
Every time we play a new clip, every single time, all I think is like, what does it feel like to...
► 01:15:13
I want to crawl inside of his brain and just sit there and watch that, like the movie Inside Out, where you have those five different emotions.
► 01:15:21
It's probably just like anger and then a flickering neon light.
► 01:15:25
Just making anger angrier.
► 01:15:27
I don't even think it's necessarily anger.
► 01:15:30
I don't think it's necessarily.
► 01:15:30
I think there's a lot of jealousy.
► 01:15:32
I think there's a ton of jealousy that motivates him.
► 01:15:35
Yeah, spite.
► 01:15:36
Spite.
► 01:15:36
Spite is a big one.
► 01:15:38
Definitely fear.
► 01:15:39
Fear is a massive motivator.
► 01:15:43
Do you think he's afraid?
► 01:15:45
I just said fear is a huge motivator.
► 01:15:47
I know, but that's my...
► 01:15:49
Is he actually afraid?
► 01:15:51
Is he afraid or is he projecting that fear because that's what he needs to sell gold?
► 01:15:59
It's hard to say.
► 01:16:00
I want to know!
► 01:16:02
Yeah.
► 01:16:02
Well, I mean, maybe in the years that we end up doing this podcast, we'll figure it out.
► 01:16:06
But for now, I don't know.
► 01:16:08
It's still a mystery.
► 01:16:08
Oh, my God.
► 01:16:09
If we actually had him as a guest on this podcast, it would be the greatest day of our lives.
► 01:16:14
If he ever finds out that we're doing this...
► 01:16:16
I'm sure we'll be murdered.
► 01:16:18
No.
► 01:16:18
I almost guarantee...
► 01:16:19
Look, I don't even want to leave the bunker.
► 01:16:21
We've got meetings to take.
► 01:16:22
We're in occupied Illinois.
► 01:16:23
We are in...
► 01:16:24
I guarantee...
► 01:16:27
And I mean this.
► 01:16:29
If he were to find out that we're doing this show, he would bring it up.
► 01:16:35
Yes, he would!
► 01:16:36
I think he would!
► 01:16:37
He totally would!
► 01:16:38
Even if we still never had any listeners, even if it was 30 listeners consistently, if he found out it was us, he would totally do that.
► 01:16:45
I also think, even though we're doing this show out of my bedroom, but I also think he would accuse us of being MSM.
► 01:16:54
Or George Soros funded.
► 01:16:56
Or elites, or whatever it is.
► 01:16:58
These globalists sitting in Dan's bedroom.
► 01:17:01
But see, and that's the other thing that is kind of amazing about the world we live in, is that by doing that, he only makes us stronger.
► 01:17:11
Oh, so we're like Obi-Wan in this?
► 01:17:13
No, I mean, like, so it's entirely possible that any of those situations...
► 01:17:19
So, have you ever seen The Boondocks?
► 01:17:22
I knew the comic strip.
► 01:17:24
Yeah.
► 01:17:24
So there was a cartoon show and they had such a great observation about Ann Coulter and then Al Sharpton and how they would go on those TV shows and do the yelling at each other thing.
► 01:17:39
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:17:39
And then they would go into the green room and they would just hug each other and be like, man, this is so much fun how we get to do this.
► 01:17:45
And it's all manufactured.
► 01:17:47
Sure.
► 01:17:47
Just by pretending to have a point of view, you wind up getting paid.
► 01:17:51
Yeah.
► 01:17:51
And that's amazing.
► 01:17:52
An elaborate scam.
► 01:17:53
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:17:54
It is an elaborate scam.
► 01:17:56
And God, we should get into that.
► 01:17:58
Yeah.
► 01:17:59
That's what I'm saying.
► 01:17:59
We need to get into that market.
► 01:18:01
But also, I want to take a step back and say, I have no interest in a scam.
► 01:18:05
I just want to laugh at Alex Jones.
► 01:18:06
We will absolutely disguise any advertisement.
► 01:18:11
Oh, we'll disguise the fuck out of it.
► 01:18:13
We will disguise the shit out of your advertisements.
► 01:18:15
Also, Jordan, I just bought some platinum recently.
► 01:18:18
I don't know if you...
► 01:18:19
Really?
► 01:18:19
Yeah.
► 01:18:19
How much is platinum worth these days?
► 01:18:21
Oh my god, the market is on the rise.
► 01:18:24
What would you say would happen if, I don't know, like the electronic money market goes down?
► 01:18:28
Would platinum still have value?
► 01:18:30
Oh my god, it's so much.
► 01:18:31
Would it actually shoot up in value?
► 01:18:32
Oh, way up.
► 01:18:33
Are you saying that it would be a good investment for me to get into right now?
► 01:18:36
Let me tell you, if you buy platinum, you're gonna get your dick sucked.
► 01:18:42
Anyway, we have one more clip.
► 01:18:44
This is Alex Jones' big closer.
► 01:18:47
Knowledge fight.
► 01:18:48
Buy platinum, get dick sucked.
► 01:18:51
I am going to bring out a cigarette because I think we've got to smoke one while he closes out his set because this is one of the most Alex Jones-style ends of a set.
► 01:19:06
The Alex Jones-ian of endings.
► 01:19:09
Yep, here we go.
► 01:19:11
As I was completed, my bombardment of the gray matter.
► 01:19:16
What was it?
► 01:19:18
Yeah, was that what I was talking about?
► 01:19:20
All right.
► 01:19:23
What?
► 01:19:24
What are you talking about?
► 01:19:26
What did I call you?
► 01:19:28
I called you a big fucking pussy.
► 01:19:30
Oh, yeah?
► 01:19:31
I called you, Bruiser.
► 01:19:32
Bam!
► 01:19:33
Bam!
► 01:19:34
You're a big man!
► 01:19:35
You don't want to hear the truth because you're a little coward.
► 01:19:38
You can't handle the truth.
► 01:19:39
You don't want to hear about 59...
► 01:19:44
I assume Stanhope is coming up on stage and that's why the applause is coming up.
► 01:19:47
Okay.
► 01:19:48
Stanhope was peeking out from the curtain.
► 01:19:50
Yeah, absolutely.
► 01:19:55
That's a coward right there, folks.
► 01:20:02
That's a coward.
► 01:20:03
That's a punk bitch who loves the New World Order.
► 01:20:08
That's not a saying, though.
► 01:20:10
Hey, you want to be slaves?
► 01:20:11
Don't worry.
► 01:20:12
There's 7 million of you in prisons now.
► 01:20:14
They're building more.
► 01:20:15
And when you're in it, crying for somebody to help you?
► 01:20:18
Why?
► 01:20:19
Why?
► 01:20:19
I'll be asking for you.
► 01:20:20
Yeah, no, no.
► 01:20:21
You'll be asking why the five-minute guys got you bent over the table, and you'll be wishing you weren't a slave, punk.
► 01:20:29
Because you weren't man enough to face the new world order.
► 01:20:33
That's right.
► 01:20:34
You're a punk.
► 01:20:35
Don't stand up, ladies and gentlemen.
► 01:20:37
I'll be standing right there, punk.
► 01:20:39
You will swing first and see what happens.
► 01:20:42
It'll be...
► 01:20:43
So first of all, we should all be so fucking lucky as to have that kind of an introduction.
► 01:20:47
God damn, you're a punk bitch.
► 01:20:49
Who's too afraid to face the New World Order.
► 01:20:52
But you gotta hear what he says right after he introduces Stanhope, because it's crazy.
► 01:20:58
okay so he's Fucking Doug Stanhope.
► 01:21:24
If you listening couldn't make that out, he's like, I'll be sitting right over there.
► 01:21:28
Come up.
► 01:21:29
Swing first and see what happens.
► 01:21:32
It'll be on video.
► 01:21:33
That's amazing.
► 01:21:34
God, imagine if...
► 01:21:36
Wow.
► 01:21:37
Now, here's what I want to bring up.
► 01:21:38
Imagine if his callers were not pre-screened.
► 01:21:43
And he actually had to deal with...
► 01:21:45
Baba Booey.
► 01:21:46
Baba Booey.
► 01:21:46
Yeah, yeah.
► 01:21:47
Anybody at any time.
► 01:21:49
Like, all of his broadcasts would just be unveiled threats.
► 01:21:54
All the time, right?
► 01:21:55
Or not threats.
► 01:21:55
There would be so many smart people dancing circles around him.
► 01:21:58
I don't think so.
► 01:22:00
I think it would just be him.
► 01:22:01
Because the only way that he responds to any challenge is through the threat of violence, right?
► 01:22:07
Yeah, I'll kick your ass, pussy.
► 01:22:08
Yeah, right?
► 01:22:09
And there's no reasonable argument.
► 01:22:12
And if you disagree with him, you love the New World Order.
► 01:22:14
You, of course, love the New...
► 01:22:16
Which...
► 01:22:16
It's a one-to-one comparison, of course.
► 01:22:18
I mean, are we talking about pre-Hulk Hogan or post-Hulk Hogan?
► 01:22:21
I was always into the Wolfpack.
► 01:22:22
You were always into the Wolfpack.
► 01:22:23
Fair enough.
► 01:22:23
I like colors.
► 01:22:24
I like red.
► 01:22:26
Yeah, they were black and white, right?
► 01:22:27
And they got Sting.
► 01:22:29
No, the Wolfpack was red and black.
► 01:22:31
Hollywood was...
► 01:22:32
I gotcha.
► 01:22:32
I gotcha.
► 01:22:33
I didn't like the lineup of Hollywood NWO.
► 01:22:37
I always preferred...
► 01:22:38
You got Sting.
► 01:22:39
You got Kevin Nash.
► 01:22:40
That's all I remember in the red and black.
► 01:22:42
That's the end of that.
► 01:22:43
Yeah.
► 01:22:43
We solved that problem right there.
► 01:22:44
Yeah.
► 01:22:45
No, I mean...
► 01:22:46
Because it seems like any time he's challenged on anything, even the slightest challenge, it is immediate violence.
► 01:22:55
Well, it's immediate flip into character.
► 01:22:57
Do you think this is a character?
► 01:22:59
Well, I think you saw it there.
► 01:23:02
Like, when he yelled a couple times, it was this attempt to get into the Alex Jones persona other than just rambling about nonsense.
► 01:23:10
Right.
► 01:23:11
What is he like off?
► 01:23:13
Off air.
► 01:23:14
Probably not pleasant.
► 01:23:15
I don't know.
► 01:23:15
Yeah, right?
► 01:23:16
He can't be a good dude.
► 01:23:17
I'm sure there are nice qualities about him.
► 01:23:19
I'm sure he's not a monster of a human, but I bet he wouldn't be fun to hang out with.
► 01:23:24
Yeah, but I think depressed him would be interesting to listen to.
► 01:23:27
Oh, we learned that on the last episode.
► 01:23:28
Yes, we did learn that on the last episode.
► 01:23:30
Barfly Alex Jones might be fun.
► 01:23:33
Barfly Alex Jones is Charles Bukowski.
► 01:23:35
That's really what's happening.
► 01:23:36
Charles Bukowski who believes in concentration camps.
► 01:23:39
In Austin.
► 01:23:40
But the thing I wanted to bring up was that...
► 01:23:42
All this talk about, you know, Bill Hicks faked his death and became Alex Jones.
► 01:23:49
That's a very Bill Hicks end of that set.
► 01:23:50
That's a super Bill Hicks way to go about it.
► 01:23:53
Yeah, that's...
► 01:23:54
You're dumb pussy.
► 01:23:55
Come on, come on, come fight me.
► 01:23:57
You're dumb.
► 01:23:58
You know, that whole, you're dumb cunt.
► 01:24:00
I'm a dumb cunt.
► 01:24:01
That whole bit.
► 01:24:02
Texas, man.
► 01:24:03
Texas.
► 01:24:04
Texas?
► 01:24:05
I...
► 01:24:06
Oh, Texas.
► 01:24:07
Or it's proof that Alex Jones is Bill Hicks.
► 01:24:09
Which I one million percent don't believe.
► 01:24:12
And I think is stupid.
► 01:24:14
It is.
► 01:24:14
It is.
► 01:24:15
Oh, man.
► 01:24:16
But what if it was?
► 01:24:18
What if it was?
► 01:24:19
Let's live in a world where it is.
► 01:24:20
There's no sense in that sort of intellectual distraction.
► 01:24:23
That's a good point.
► 01:24:24
The truth is that Alex Jones once tried stand-up, and it went like that.
► 01:24:28
I hope that lived up to the hype that I built up.
► 01:24:31
That was some solid...
► 01:24:33
Wow, that was nuts.
► 01:24:35
Isn't it mind-blowing, these weird kernels that we keep finding with Alex Jones?
► 01:24:40
To be fair, I knew about all this stuff.
► 01:24:42
Right, no, I had no idea.
► 01:24:44
Of course, that's the whole idea of this.
► 01:24:47
But, goddammit, the opportunities that he has to be crazier and crazier all the time is mind-boggling.
► 01:24:56
It's gorgeous.
► 01:24:58
I want to marry him.
► 01:25:01
Yeah.
► 01:25:01
I want him to be my wife.
► 01:25:03
We should make a trio marriage with Alex Jones.
► 01:25:07
Well, you're a good Christian man.
► 01:25:08
I'm a good Christian man.
► 01:25:09
I think we all agree.
► 01:25:10
If he would be the third host of this podcast and we could just get like, what were you thinking when you said that?
► 01:25:15
God.
► 01:25:16
That would be the best podcast ever.
► 01:25:18
Oh, man.
► 01:25:19
Yeah.
► 01:25:19
If we could really make this an after show.
► 01:25:22
Yeah.
► 01:25:23
Yeah, absolutely.
► 01:25:24
Or, dude, if we could just interview Leanne McAdoo.
► 01:25:28
Goddamn.
► 01:25:29
I'm assuming that he doesn't have, like, staff writers, right?
► 01:25:34
I don't know.
► 01:25:35
Like, he has researchers, but nobody writes his material.
► 01:25:37
I don't think anyone could write.
► 01:25:38
Well, I mean, nobody wrote that material.
► 01:25:40
But the stuff that he says in the clips that we play, and, I mean, the show, the clips are indicative of the show as a whole.
► 01:25:47
There's no way you could script that.
► 01:25:49
No.
► 01:25:49
It's so meandering.
► 01:25:51
No, it's riffing.
► 01:25:51
Yeah, it's...
► 01:25:52
But if you had to fill...
► 01:25:54
Which is an admirable quality.
► 01:25:57
In some ways.
► 01:25:58
No, it's an admirable skill.
► 01:26:00
Well...
► 01:26:00
Because most people can't riff.
► 01:26:01
That's true.
► 01:26:02
And he can just fly off the handle.
► 01:26:04
If you need two hours of time filled and you don't care about the quality, he's your man.
► 01:26:11
He's your man.
► 01:26:12
But that's, like, he's just a sports talk radio host.
► 01:26:17
For conspiracy theories.
► 01:26:18
For the globalists.
► 01:26:19
For the globalists.
► 01:26:20
For the anti-globalists.
► 01:26:22
My favorite boogeyman is the globalist because no matter what happens, he just can go back to it.
► 01:26:28
See, if I had a soundboard, I could play, I'm your boogeyman.
► 01:26:31
I could do that.
► 01:26:32
I could just put in those like...
► 01:26:34
Have that pre-ready.
► 01:26:36
Yeah, it is.
► 01:26:37
It is a great boogeyman because it's so vague that it can mean whatever you want.
► 01:26:42
If you are heckling him at a comedy show, that means you're a fan of the New World Order.
► 01:26:47
You're a globalist.
► 01:26:47
That's how fast it happens.
► 01:26:49
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
► 01:26:50
God damn it.
► 01:26:51
Enjoy getting raped in prison, too.
► 01:26:54
There's five men holding you down.
► 01:26:56
What the fuck are you even talking about?
► 01:27:01
That's rough.
► 01:27:02
I wouldn't wish that on my worst globalist enemy.
► 01:27:07
Absolutely not.
► 01:27:08
That sounds like a bad day.
► 01:27:09
It sounds like a bad day at best.
► 01:27:11
If you want to make a bad day a good day, why don't you hit us up on Twitter at knowledge underscore fight.
► 01:27:18
Or you can reach out to us by email at knowledgefight at gmail.com.
► 01:27:22
We are also on iTunes.
► 01:27:24
Search for Knowledge Fight.
► 01:27:25
You will find us.
► 01:27:26
And also on YouTube.
► 01:27:27
You can find it there.
► 01:27:29
But don't search for Fight Knowledge.
► 01:27:31
I looked at Fight Knowledge.
► 01:27:32
Not very good.
► 01:27:34
Zero Alex Jones.
► 01:27:35
Boxing tips.
► 01:27:36
Zero Alex Jones.
► 01:27:37
It's the sweet science.
► 01:27:40
Thank you all so much.
► 01:27:41
Jordan, thanks for joining me.
► 01:27:42
This has been so much fun.
► 01:27:43
This is the best day of my life.
► 01:27:47
Your set tonight goes much better than what we just listened to.
► 01:27:51
Thank you all so much for listening.
► 01:27:52
We'll catch you next time, hopefully sooner than later.
► 01:27:56
But...
► 01:27:57
Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.
► 01:27:58
Thanks for holding.
► 01:28:00
Hello, Alex.
► 01:28:00
I'm a first-time caller.
► 01:28:01
I'm a huge fan.
► 01:28:02
I love your work.
